The Beauty of Waiting, Uncertainty, and Imperfection Root Belief 1: I believe that I form the best relationships when they require great patience because they allow me to grow in virtue. Brene Brown encourages parents to hold the mindset of each individual being beautiful and worthy of love despite imperfection (“ The Power of Vulnerability ” by Brene Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). During quarantine, I formed and maintained close relationships with friends who immediately attracted me due to their entrepreneurial accomplishments. I learned quite a bit from them, but I also found that while they valued entrepreneurship, they didn’t value it for a cause to improve the world. Their shiny accomplishments attracted me, and although I am still friends with them, I’ve found that the friendships I’ve made here at Notre Dame are so much more meaningful. As Brooks said within his TED talk, I should not live life for my resume nor should I assume the lives of others through their resumes (“ Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy? ” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2). Drawing on the metaphor of judging a book by it’s cover, shiny accomplishments are just pictures on the front of a book with no real context pertaining to one’s struggles, personalities, or purposes in life. Not even those three categories are enough to describe what makes a friend. The process is complex, and friendships form in these years past adolescence with effort, care, and most importantly, time. Forming any type of relationship for that matter is ineffably complex, and as Fr. Pete McCormick says, untying the knots of difficulty takes time as it’s impossible to unravel them all at once; you have to be patient with untying and be thankful for the journey (“ The Role of Faith in Our Story ” by Fr. Pete McCormick, C.S.C - Moreau FYE Week 3). On that subject, I actually struggled a little bit to make friends for the first time in my life despite being extroverted as I was extremely sleep deprived and consequently not in the best mental state. I opened up about my imperfection and anxiousness which resulted in a loss of sleep to quite a bit of students here, and through that vulnerability, I have found love. I’ve found people who care about me despite the effect of a rough start to freshman year. This was in stark contrast to some of my friends back home who could be categorized as “toxic.” According to Olivia T. Taylor, toxic friends can be unnecessarily negative, and that’s what these friends were (“ 5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship ” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). When I told them that I was considering going into the medical field because I loved hospital volunteering and found the work extremely meaningful, they told me that it was foolish to assume a job in which I wouldn’t be the influencer. When I told them that we’re part of a larger community and that we’re all called to serve in some way, they told me that that viewpoint was quite foolish as well. However, the friends I’ve made here would have listened to me and found reason in my rationale. Although sometimes I think, and might be tempted to think in the future, that the students who claim to have the most fun, be the smartest, or have the most accomplishments are the people I should strive to be friends with, I’ve realized that my vulnerability and imperfection leads me to find the friends that will help me grow and vice versa; thus, I strive to continue being vulnerable. When I’m having a difficult time, I’ll internalize it, journal a little, and if the problem persists, I’ll be sure to let someone know. The support systems on campus, the family I have that I can contact with the tap of my fingers, and the friends around me everywhere are there for a reason. On top of that, I plan on going on a church retreat during break and opening my heart about what I’ve learned to my church community. I don’t think that I’ll hold any rules for myself to ensure vulnerability. My father told me to not be so rigid https://youtu.be/X4Qm9cGRub0 https://youtu.be/X4Qm9cGRub0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ when reaching out to him when I told him I wanted to call once a week at a specific time, and I think it’s wise to take his advice. Root Belief 2: Saying “I don’t know” is not shameful; rather, it’s honest and a potent force to drive change in the world. Drawing from the previous paragraph, friendships are complicated. Choosing who to be friends with is equally as complicated, and I’m one to say that I don’t know what makes a good guideline for choosing who to be friends with. I know for sure that I don’t have the propensity to like everyone, but I am obligated to love everyone. Fr. Kevin Grove stressed how it’s impossible to love God if we don’t love our brothers and sisters in front of us (“ Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education ” by Fr. Kevin Grove, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week 5). There are some students here who have seriously hurt my feelings or my friends’ feelings, and there was even a student who held my hand while (hopefully) saying statements that make me feel insecure, but I’ve had to remind myself that I am no judge. They might’ve not known how they’ve hurt me, and if it’s eating my conscience, maybe it would be wise for me to consult them. The gist is that I might never have definite answers or guidelines in terms of relationships, but I must love what’s in front of me. George Ella Lyon with her I Am From Project is a perfect representation of loving every individual through their beautiful poems (“ Where I’m From ” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). If everyone were to write a poem, it doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will write a good quality one. However, that’s subjective to the reader. What’s objective is that there is writing there; thus, there is meaning and value in each poem. Everyone has a different back story, and we must all be like George Ella Lyon, finding beauty and instilling love in the different stories around us. Adichie advocates for the value of every perspective when she states that we “regain a kind of paradise” when we value every story (“ Danger of a Single Story ” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7). By only paying attention to the stories, or the people, that we like, we exclude meaning. We may not like every story or poem, but each one has a message. There are some individuals on campus who have scared me a little with abnormal friendliness. I’ve never seen amiability as normal, but I’ve had a girl who I’ve talked to only once buy me ice cream, write me a card, and walk to my room. Instead of warding her off though, I thanked her. I appreciate her act of kindness, and it must’ve been difficult to put her heart out there. We must have open hearts to unfamiliar stories, to what we don’t know, and through that manner, we can form stronger identities for the good of the world. These adamant yet open identities start with the reader and expand with influence to benefit the greater good, and it all starts with an open heart. To start admitting what I don’t know, I think I’ll experiment with different lifestyles here at Notre Dame. All throughout high school, I was so accustomed to pushing myself to the absolute limit, severely sleep depriving myself, and overdosing on caffeine. Now, I think I’ll start prioritizing my health more. Now, I don’t know where this sudden change in lifestyle will lead me, especially in terms of being able to complete my homework, but now that I can think clearer, I can listen better, perform better on tests, and get more out of the Notre Dame experience. I’ll also admit that I don’t know what types of people I want to be friends with, and that’s okay. I’ll put myself out there, reflect on the love I receive, and see where nature takes me. I have four years ahead of me. That’s a lot of time. I choose to enjoy the journey, the uncertainty, and the people I meet along the way. This semester hasn’t been perfect, and https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story neither will the ones ahead, but God’s plan for me is an optimistic one, so I’ll enjoy patience and indecisiveness.