Integration 1 Professor Pruitt Moreau Integration 1 13 October 2021 Becoming Who I am Meant to Be I believe that I am imperfect. I was created to be exactly who I am, not an idealized, perfect version of myself. Throughout my life I have struggled with believing this idea more than anything else. For as long as I can remember, I have consistently placed extremely high standards on myself, ones that I could not imagine anyone else having to face. When I did not meet these standards I was faced with disappointment and had no room for forgiveness. I was never content with who I was as a person and accepting that I was imperfect never occurred to me as an option. However, as I grew older I realixed that this toxic mindset would never be sustainable and looking at myself in such a negative mindset would not make me a more “perfect” person. As Brené Brown says. “They had the courage to be imperfect.” ("The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown - Moreau FYS Week One). This lesson was tough to learn because in my head it seemed weak to recognize my imperfections. However, it is quite the opposite. I am not only a happier person but a stronger one too now that I know that perfection is not necessary nor attainable. This was not something that changed in me overnight, but a constant struggle that I face on a daily basis. But as I have mentioned, I have become a stronger person because of it. The quote “Out of that wrestling, that suffering, a depth of character is constructed” ("Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?" by David Brooks - Moreau FYS Week 2) is one that has stuck with me from this course. In the moments where I have found myself struggling with the ideas of perfectionism, are the moments when I grow most as a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM person. Here at Notre Dame, I have to constantly remind myself of these ideas. When it can feel easy to give up or feel not good enough, it is crutial that I remember that my imperfections are not weaknesses and do not define me. I believe that I am growing. I am an unfisinshed person and just because I have made it here does not mean that I have become all that I am meant to be. This belief goes hand in hand with the previous one. Just as through my struggle with perfection I realized that there is no need for be to always be perfect, in the same way I am growing through that. There is no need for me to have all the answers, rather I can hold onto the hope that my future will work out the way it is meant to be. This idea is summed up perfectly in the quote “Hope is confident because it rests upon God’s power, not our own.” ("Faith Brings Light to a Dark World" by Professor David Fagerberg - Moreau FYS Week Three) My faith has always been something that has been a central aspect of my life and I think this quote is so important. I am growing into the person God has meant for me to be and it is inevitable that I will make mistakes on the way. However, by adapting a hopeful mindset I am able to place my trust in God that everything will work out the way it is meant to be. By doing this I am able to focus on all the good things going on in my life rather than being dragged down by a fear of what the future holds for me. Another aspect of my growth as a person deals with the idea that I am on a search for my purpose Just like figuring out my plan for my life, I still am not completely certain on what I am meant to do and how that relates to me purpose. In Carla Harris graduate address she addresses this issue saying, “Your ability… to find and fulfill your purpose lies in your ability to adjust your focus to sharpen your vision on the good and great things that are right in front of you” ("2021 Laetare Medalist Address" by Carla Harris - Moreau FYS Week 5) By focusing on what is right in front of me rather than the worries or fears I have for the future will allow me to seek out this purpose in life https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 better than anything else. During my time in college, taking on this mindset will not only help me discover what the next steps in my life will look like, but will also help me have a happier and more positive experience. I believe I am shaped by those around me. Reflecting back on my life, my values, and the things that make me who I am, I have recognized that many of these core characteristics are from the people most important to me. My parents have always been people I look up to, and I think that I have incorporated many of their characteristics into my life. When I wrote my “Where I’m From” poem ("Where I'm From" by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six) I recognized that I learned to be hardworking from my dad and selfless from my mom. While these are just small examples of the way I have been influenced, I know there are so many more examples of how my family has influenced me. In the same way, I believe that I will be influenced by all the positive people I am surrounded by here at Notre Dame. In the short time that I have been here I have already found myself attempting to adapt some of the admirable characteristics of my friends into my life. I know that the people I surround myself play a large role in who I am as a person, and it is important that I find those who will help me become the best version of myself. At the same time, I believe that I have the power to create my own beliefs and am not defined by those around me. While the influences in my life are extremely important to me, I also recognize that I am not bound to them. If there is something that I do not agree with, I have the power to choose what I want to believe. I learned this lesson the hard way in middle school. When I was younger I was very much influenced by my friends. I liked whatever they liked and did almost everything they did. While that seems like a normal middle school friendship, what made it toxic for me was the way they treated others. They began by refusing to sit with the girls in my class at lunch and later completely excluding most of the girls, even one of my best http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html friends. They were completely unreceptive to my concern for their actions and refused to change their ways. My friends had created a stereotype of all the girls in my class in that they were “weird” and unworthy of spending time with. The way they saw others was similar to the quote by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “Stereotypes make one story become the only story” ("Danger of a Single Story" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week Seven) They became so hyper focused on the way they saw the other girls that it affected their actions and later the way others perceived them, in a negative way. I had to make the decision to leave this friendship due to the way our morals did not align. I was unwilling to allow the way they treated others to become a part of who I was as a person. Just as much as my friends now make a positive impact on me, it is important to remember that I do not have to always be defined by those around me. I believe that I am meant to show love to those around me. Just as much as the people in my life have influenced me, I know that I have just as much on an impact on the lives of other whether I realize it or not. In order that I have a positive impact on the people I encounter, I believe it is important that I consistently show an attitude of love. I have learned this lesson and have been able to adapt it into my own life through the example of one of my best friends. My friend is one of the most selfless people I know and she is always looking for ways to help others in anyway that she can. To me, she is the perfect example of what showing love to others looks life. Through her example I have learned that there are so many ways I can show love to others: sending a quick text before a test, giving someone a hug when it looks like they are having a bad day, or encouraging those around me. Like we talked about in Week Four, it is important that the way I treat others, especially those closest to me is always in the best interest of the other person. As Olivia Taylor wrote, “A good, healthy friendship is one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people.” ("5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship" https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ by Olivia T Taylor - Moreau FYS Week Four). The way I treat others should be with the intention of helping them become the best version of themselves. Here during my time at Notre Dame I know I will be surrounded by people who will be some of my closest friends. Keeping the idea of always showing love to them is crucial to forming these life-giving relationships. Reflecting back on my life as well as the new chapter in my life here at Notre Dame, recognzing these important beliefs I have will help me grow into the best version of myself. I believe that I am imperfect. I believe that I am growing. I believe I am shaped by those around me. I believe that I am called to show love to those around me.