Moreau Integration One Leathers 1 Professor Chan Moreau October 11, 2021 Understanding My Root Belief Through Moreau Having root beliefs in our lives is the key to staying on a righteous path to success. Root beliefs give significance to our time on Earth and purpose to everything we do. Without root beliefs, we risk losing our own beliefs amidst the vast oceans of opinions and thoughts constantly interjected into our lives. My root belief above all others is being genuinely kind to everyone I meet by living an honest and open-minded life. Being genuinely kind to another person is something that many people miss in their day-to-day interactions when life can push our patience to the wayside in our quest for success. It is important not to forget the human beings around us. Genuine kindness stems from the search for goodness in yourself and the others around you. Taking the time to stop and think about our actions and environment is a helpful tool to achieve this. As stated in week two with the timeless example of Adam One and Adam Two, sometimes our dreams can drown out the pleading voices around us calling for a change ("Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy" by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2). David Brooks introduces the idea that maybe we should start striving for the character virtues spoken in eulogies instead of seeing life as one extensive resume. I believe that focusing on this idea and having a concern for others is the first step towards being a kinder person. The next step I’ve found that makes a kind person is being open-minded. Being open-minded with new people can help break any barriers that may stand in the way of a kind Leathers 2 relationship. Too often, I accidentally find myself jumping to conclusions about people that impact the start of our relationship negatively. These are known as implicit bias, a subconscious bias that can be hard to examine unless we are truly honest with ourselves because "...it isn't nice to think we aren't very nice." (How to Think About 'Implicit Bias' by By Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week 7). The self-examination process can be stressful, but its payoff is insurmountable. I found that in my time away from home, I’ve been introduced to many diverse people from all walks of life. I have met elite sons and daughters of successful business tycoons from savant students whose parents struggle to make ends meet, along with people from different races, creeds, and nationalities. What I love about Notre Dame is being proven wrong day in and day out about the relationships I forge. Here, under this dome, I cannot tell the rich from the poor, where someone is from, or judge their intelligence from only a few conversations. It is a campus full of good, well-rounded people, and I believe the student body of Notre Dame embodies the timeless saying of "you can't judge a book by its cover." I believe viewing the rest of the world through the same ambiguous lens I view students through can help destroy my implicit bias giving me an open-minded life to be a kind human being. Another key aspect to forging kind and honest relationships with our peers is to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable can aid in destroying our implicit biases by freeing ourselves from our own subconscious beliefs. I believe that implicit biases act as a shield against the unknown, walls of defense we build to protect ourselves from unfamiliar things and people. An elementary example would be a child not wanting to try a food because of its appearance. They do not know what they are missing until the first bite is taken, and only then can they let their taste form their opinion. We must have the same vulnerability as a kid trying a new food if we wish to have open-minded, kind relationships. It should be our experiences with people that form opinions. Of Leathers 3 course, every experience must be taken with a grain of salt, as we cannot solely judge a person based on a few interactions. To understand the whole of someone's life—the good and the bad—we must feel emotions we do not want to feel. In speaker Brené Brown's case, she states, "My mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live was with vulnerability." ("The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). As a culture, we attempt to move further into a dystopian state where everything is made perfect through control. We do not have to have the answers to every problem presented. Still, we must be vulnerable enough to feel the emotions that these problems offer to relate to others who might have experienced similar pains. No relationship will center around talking about only the "goods" in life, and if it did, it would not be a relationship but rather a simple conversation. The power of vulnerability lies in the fact that we cannot feel the highs without experiencing the lows, and by closing our doors to each other, we lead a numbing life full of dull relationships and emotions. I believe another facet to building honesty and kindness into relationships is recognizing what not to do through analyzing toxic relationships. A toxic relationship is overly demanding to one member. I believe kind relationships are built on a zero-expectation basis. Expectations can lead to peer pressure, a common trait of a toxic relationship. If pressure is introduced to a relationship, it is no longer honest as the actual motive of the relationship is clouded beneath a layer of expectations. The only acceptable expectation we can have is respect for opinions and nothing else. Understanding toxicity is the key never to let ourselves be the toxic ones in the relationship. Summarized well by Olivia T. Taylor, toxic relationships include the following: Conversations only include negatives Your opinions are not listened to Leathers 4 You are separately bailed on You are subject to listen to gossip about others You are used to getting what the other person wants ("5 Signs Your in a Toxic Relationship" by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). Acknowledging what a toxic relationship is and then making the necessary changes to our lives is another step we must take to form relationships rooted in kindness, honesty, and inclusiveness. With the culmination of all these tools, being kind, honest, open-minded, vulnerable, and non-toxic, we can take a step back and realize the power we have to shape others' journeys. Ultimately, this is the point of building relationships. Sometimes drawing from our own experiences can help us realize what has shaped us and who we have shaped along the way (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). For example, I was given the opportunity to coach a youth flag football team last year. The boys I was given lacked discipline but through weeks of relationship building with my twelve players, I was able to instill discipline and respect into every one of them. They also formed me by showing me my weakness, and by allowing me to grow as a coach. I became more patient and understanding as a result of working getting to coach my players. Recalling these experiences of where I’m from I believe no person is static, and our journeys are subject to change with each interaction. There are many in need of a helping hand, and with just a few simple tools as stated before, we can help. As stated by Father Kevin Grove, "We cannot love the God we do not see, we do not love the brother we do see." ("Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education" by Father Kevin Grove - MYE Week 5). Essentially, he states that we cannot say we are kind if we forget the men and women who need help. Being a force for good, Notre Dame's ultimate goal for its student Leathers 5 body, stresses the importance of using our skills to change the world. Through this pursuit is where we will find avenues in which to build kind relationships. Root beliefs are what make us who we are. I believe that I have been given the tools to change myself and strengthen my core root belief: to be kind to everyone I meet by living an honest and open-minded life. Keeping this belief intact is my anchor to an ever-changing world. Staying true to myself, being honest, vulnerable, and introspective are the keys to embodying my root belief.