Integration 1 Liebezeit 1 Taylor Kelly Moreau FYE 15 October 2021 I’m a Believer If you were to ask me last year around this time what I believe I would have stumbled trying to put everything I have learned in my life together in order to form my core values. I knew what it meant to be a good person from what my parents and teachers have taught me. But, now looking back that never really answered the question, what do you believe? It merely took into consideration what I had been taught to believe. From taking 7 weeks of Moreau I have learned the importance of forming your own way of thinking. I believe I have deepened my self-knowledge and gone through personal development. Here is what I believe. I am not perfect, God is everywhere, and that I should not forfeit my identity in order to please others. Throughout my life, I thought I had to be perfect. Things like being the best at everything, the smartest in the class, or the most successful child. However, these things are meaningless and do not define who I am as a person. Perfection is a weighted term that should not hold any standard in life. I have learned that what it means to be perfect is to not be perfect. In other words, being your authentic self. Being authentic to me means being true to yourself and it does not mean you make no mistakes. “Out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of character is constructed” (Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy? By David Brooks, Morea FYE Week 2). This quote helped me understand that everyone makes mistakes and important events, good or bad, throughout my life, have shaped me as a person. I believe that we should not dwell on our pasts and use these mistakes to define us. At the end of our lives, people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM Liebezeit 2 do not remember the little mistakes and weaknesses that we possessed but, the qualities that made us great. I saw this even deeper when we took the survey about our character strengths. It showed me that the basic personality features that define my distinctive identity and make me feel authentic, alive, and involved in life do not have to be perfect. The “Where I’m From” poem we wrote for week 6 also allowed me to take time and realize what made me, me. “I am Enough” (The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown- Moreau FYE Week 1). Being “enough” does not mean being perfect. The feeling of not being enough can weigh a huge burden in life. It prevents us from doing the things we love. Therefore, once I began to understand and accept this worthiness, I was able to connect with life more. Being vulnerable, having courage, and being willing to share allows people to be true to themselves. And being authentic does not mean perfection. I am not perfect. The next aspect I base a lot of my life on is God. I believe that God is everywhere and that He will always be there. Throughout my life, I believed I had a very strong relationship with God. I attended Catholic school, went to church every Sunday, and even sang in the choir at my church. So, I have a pretty good familiarity with the Catholic church and its expectations. I knew that God was always there for me and that he loved me. However, as I began to age and go through my challenges, I lost this relationship. I went through some heartbreaks, lost some of my best friends, and suffered through anxiety and depression. I thought to myself: why would a God who is supposed to care and love me put me through so much pain? Why is He allowing me to question my entire faith? If He is real, why can I not see him? I failed to see the meaning of love and what God meant to me. I was very upset with myself for a long time because I was disappointed that I was questioning my faith. I tried to reconnect with my faith by reading and studying the bible, but I still did not feel God’s love. It was not until my school’s Kairos retreat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3 Liebezeit 3 this past year where I finally got some clarity with God. I learned that it was okay to question my faith and that it meant that I cared deeply about it. When I thought of love in action, I thought I was actively supposed to be looking for God. However, Kairos showed me just the opposite. God’s love and presence are in everything. “Faith invites us to live in the light” (Faith Brings Light to a Dark World by Professor David Fagerberg- Moreau FYE Week 3). Instead of searching for God, I recognize that God is everywhere and God is here. Just like how in darkness we might not see something but when light shines upon us, everything is revealed. The same way we might stereotype others maybe how we stereotype God. From scripture, we see many images of God but people still believe that God has one distinct quality: a happy guy in a rainbow. “. . . One story [is not] the only story” (Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie- Moreau FYE Week 7). Yes, He wants the best for us, but he will also teach us lessons. God does not have a single story and if we think he does we are in danger of not fully recognizes our faith. God is in everything and for everyone. I believe that when I see God having many different qualities the same way I see that in the people around me, I can dive deeper into my faith. And it is then that I see God everywhere. Lastly, I believe now more than ever that I should not forfeit my identity in order to please others. The people we chose to have in our lives should make us feel wanted and accepted. What a good relationship means is having someone who you can depend on and who will be there for you. In all my relationships in life, I should be able to feel safe and to be myself. Toxic people will say things to manipulate you and change who you are as a person (5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship by Olivia T. Taylor- Moreau FYE Week 4). But, as mentioned before, I am amazing just the way I am. So, now I see that the way I love myself is the way others should love me. And I should not sacrifice that by any means. When we treat others with https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ Liebezeit 4 kindness we unlock our purpose and what it means to rejoice (2021 Laetare Medalist Address by Carla Harris- Moreau FYE Week 5). Treating people with kindness means treating them for all that they are and all that they can be. I believe now more than ever that the best kind of people is the ones who love us for who we are. If they love you, you will not have to change yourself. I do not have to forfeit my identity for anyone. Once we recognize what we believe we can see better what definitions we define for ourselves. These beliefs define me by showing me the importance of being personal which enacts personal growth. As I continue to mature and grow in life I will hold with me these beliefs: I am not perfect, God is everywhere, and that I should not forfeit my identity in order to please others. I believe that if I stick to these core values I will live a better and more fulfilled life. In the future, I plan to teach others the skills I have learned to help them recognize how amazing they are. Moreau first-year experience, thus far, has shown me a new version of myself and has allowed me to be vulnerable in order to grow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4