Integration 1 - Lindell My Beliefs In and For The Future Recognizing your own beliefs is one thing. Being able to confidently vocalize them is an entirely other task. We are incredibly complicated beings as people, such that there are many times when we cannot understand or justify our own thoughts and actions. Despite these limitations and many more, I’m going to attempt to vocalize my current beliefs in regards to the previous assignments as well as provide background from my experiences and the previous weeks’ assignments. In week one, we discussed searching for belonging, and vulnerability. In response to Dr. Brown in her talk, saying “You cannot selectively numb emotion. When you numb [hard feelings] you numb joy, you numb gratitude, you numb happiness” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). I wondered if it was ever appropriate to numb vulnerability. I believe that there are times when it is better to feel nothing at all over any emotions. A couple weeks before this, I had a gum infection cleaned out without anesthesia and it was excruciatingly painful. The small talk and connections I made with the surgeon and their assistants was nice, but I don’t know if it justifies not forgetting the experience altogether by undergoing anesthesia. In week two, another TED talk speaker concluded, “Nothing that’s worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime” (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). I believe that Brooks, the speaker of the ted talk, is incorrect in his conclusion. Or rather, that he could have phrased it better. I say this because things like making friends, and experiencing happiness are things that are achievable in our lifetime, and I believe that these things are worth doing. I also believe that ‘success’ as many people put it, is poorly recognized. I found a similar issue with the week five video, where Clara Harris gives a graduation speech to Notre Dame graduates (“Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week Five). My issue is that the ‘success’ is seen as one achievement, as one ‘thing’ that the person has accomplished. I found a similar issue in academic awards at my high school as well as my high school graduation. By https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23665/modules/items/107140 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23665/modules/items/107140 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 presenting these things as one ‘achievement’ it not only misrepresents the days, or years of work that the students have put in, it also devalues the work of the students who didn’t get an award. Even though the awards mean basically nothing in the long run, so much value is placed on the idea of these awards, that it feels like a failure when you don’t get one. In my senior year, I was the best student in my higher level math class, the most difficult class my school had to offer, so when the high school awards night came around, and I didn’t get the award, I was crushed. It had felt like all of my hard work had been for naught. I felt robbed, and was visibly upset. Later that night, I saw an email from the math teacher the day before saying that because I had won the award in previous years, despite my academic excellence, they wanted to recognize other students. To me, this highlights both sides of the issue. With academic awards, or similar single event achievements, you get people who feel entitled to them, maybe rightfully so, who if they don’t get them, can feel as though their work was invalid, causing them to potentially not try as hard, or at all, in the future. On the other hand there are people who never get recognized even if they work really hard and show meteoric growth. If they can’t compete with other people, the awards offer them nothing. I believe that this issue is present in many other aspects of our lives. I considered deleting much of the above paragraph because I was concerned that it doesn't meet the arbitrary ‘reference every week of Moreau’ requirement of the assignment, and the fact that that thought crossed my mind upsets me. I believe that we - Notre Dame, my high school, and our society in general- place too much emphasis on numbers and grades to the point where we have lost sight of the learning that the grades are meant to gauge. I have no issues talking about any ideas, talking about the Christian God, or faith, or political issues, or philosophical ideologies, or inequalities that do or don’t apply to me, or anything else for that matter. This is because I want to learn. I believe that the learning and the knowledge is meant to be the takeaway form all of this. I also, however, recognize the value of getting grades, and won’t needlessly sacrifice a grade just to prove a point because that’s a waste of time and resources that people have put into me. In the discussion class for week three, we discussed faith, and I was very pleased when some of my classmates brought up how faith is not inherently connected to a god, or the Christian God, as this is a belief that I personally have. I don’t know whether there is any type of higher being, but I have faith in myself and others and that’s good enough to get me through each day (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week Three). In week four we discussed toxic relationships, the article specifically defined healthy relationships as “one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people” (“Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Relationships” by The Red Flag Campaign - Moreau FYE Week Four). It made me wonder, what does it mean to be on a path toward becoming a better person? And is this necessary if the friendship makes you happy? These questions stemmed from my relationships with my friends and ROTC. In ROTC, the experience is difficult and causes me a lot of stress and grief. However, I am experiencing a lot of growth as a result of these struggles. With my friends, I am much happier, but I am growing differently, in some ways that I believe many might consider less valuable than the growth from ROTC. I am getting to a point where I’m going to have to choose whether or not I want to stay and spend more time in ROTC or leave ROTC and find experiences with my friends. Neither of these are bad options, but I don’t know what I want to do right now, and I’ll have to eventually decide. It’s like what I wrote in my Where I’m from poem (“Where I'm From” by George Ela Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six): “My path is a surprise To those who thought they knew me My path leads to the unknown Into the branching paths of life” Just like what we talked about in the discussion week seven, the only way to combat implicit biases is to listen and learn, to gain more experience (“How to Think about 'Implicit Bias'” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, and John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week Seven). I know that there are so many things in my future that https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://drive.google.com/a/nd.edu/file/d/0B93cIKOnINCLS1JpUzZ5Q1JseGs/view?usp=sharing http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ I currently can’t even dream of, and I believe that as I cut into that future, I need to keep an open mind, listen and learn, and grow as I experience life, wherever it may take me.