Capstone Integration Moreau FYE 10102 29 April 2022 Finding Guidance from My Mission As a first-year student at the University of Notre Dame, I had high expectations for myself and a vision for the rest of my college career. To me, a well-lived life is one where I focus on being the best person I can be and using my gifts to better serve others (Integration Three – Moreau FYE Week Eight). While looking into the future is necessary in this world, I realized it was equally important to continue to stay grounded in the present through my values. Pursuing a life well-lived was a question I continually faced this year while trying to find my way through the transition of college and reminding myself of what I truly value in life helped me. My mission statement encapsulates what is important to me and how I live my life: I value my family, friends, and the community that is built when I put energy into each of these relationships. Having a community allows me to have meaningful relationships with others. Religion is very valued in my life and being in a community not only helps me to grow in my faith, but helps others realize their calling. Helping others is a way that I can build relationships outside of my community and show the importance of close relationships and loyalty. We are all human and deserve the same respect, and I understand that at the end of the day I am building relationships. If there is no foundation of trust and order, it will be hard to create community and relationships with others. I value a lot of things in my life, but they all revolve around my relationships with others, whether it’s friends, family, or even competitors, and finding a sense of community (Mission Statement – Moreau FYE Week Thirteen). https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SkhkzZIMH2UwJauu5J_yq76rGV0GcG_lVd8KPBLTFF0/edit?usp=sharing https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SkhkzZIMH2UwJauu5J_yq76rGV0GcG_lVd8KPBLTFF0/edit?usp=sharing https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ur4b9oFy7Mh8adNrwRTIFcanUIJUAI6wnAczkxW-H3I/edit?usp=sharing For me, the people I surround myself with is a step in the direction of a life well-lived. They affect you in ways that could either be beneficial to your future or detrimental. I value authenticity from myself and others because it shows that they are solid in their values (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” -- Moreau Week Five). I want to find friends who bring out my best self so I can be in a position to pursue a life well-lived. In order to develop these relationships, I have plugged myself into clubs and activities that I enjoy, to find people with whom I share a lot in common. For example, club golf has been important for me because I have found a community with a shared interest with opportunities to meet people and form relationships. Not only is it important to seek out communities but being the facilitator and nurturer of a community is also key in developing relationships. Getting involved with hall council and gaining a leadership role is a way to facilitate community. As a first year I know what it feels like to be sort of dumped into the middle of a community that already is formed, but it is the job of a leader of the hall to create a new community around the new students: “There needs to be listening as well as advice, addressing and strategizing how to overcome obstacles, confronting setbacks, and at times even prods and cajoles, with the hope and the expectation that the relationship will not be static” (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Journey Together” by Reifenberg – Moreau FYE Week Nine). Empathy is what is needed for communities to prosper because we can build relationships on common ground. All the upperclassmen were once freshmen excited and nervous to start a new chapter in their life, so they will be able to guide the first-year students with advice and being there for them when there is a problem: “As disciples of Jesus we stand side by side with all people. Like them we are burdened by the same struggles and beset by the same weaknesses; like them we are made new by the same Lord’s love; like them we hope for a world where justice and love prevail” (“Constitutions of the Congregation of https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146535 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146535 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146579 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146614 Holy Cross” by Congregation of Holy Cross – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Recognizing that we are all human is the basis for forming relationships. To me, relationships are important as I pursue a life well-lived. Having someone there to guide you and most times, just being there by your side, accompanying you can make a world of difference in your life: “When one realizes that life, even in the middle of so many contradictions, is a gift, that love is the source and the meaning of life, how can they withhold their urge to do good to another fellow being” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by Pope Francis – Moreau FYE Week Seven). They bring out your best self, and that in turn helps you to see more clearly how you want to live your life and how you are going to start living. This is not always easy to do, to develop relationships with others. It takes a lot of time and effort from both people because a relationship is not a one-way street, it is a two-way street. But, even with effort being put into the relationship, there will be times when it can get hard and like things will not improve. However, “it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not always linear; these steps don’t take place in a nice, neat order. It’s a developmental process that will recur throughout your lifetime and you’ll move between stages as you learn and grow” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” -- CCD – Moreau FYE Week Four). Acknowledging that things are not going to go perfectly smoothly is crucial to living a life well-lived. If you focus on being perfect all the time, it will lead to frustration and unhappiness, ultimately discouraging you to live a life well-lived. As a first year, it is a tough transition to college because you must learn how to balance your social life with academics. Personally, when my anxiety ramps up, usually from a big change in my life, I bury myself in work and forget to nurture my relationships with others. This is not how I want to live my life because it goes against my values of finding community. So, even though it is difficult to pursue a life well-lived when my anxiety increases, reminding https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146614 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146562 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146562 https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ myself of what I value is crucial to get myself out of the bad habit of working too much. And actually enacting on my values of finding community and developing relationships away from my anxiety driven work helps: “The more time I spend away from my work, the better that work will be, most often” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Iyer – Moreau FYE Week One). Work may be important to some people in their life, and it is important for me in a sense that I can use my education as a force for good in the world. But there needs to be a healthy balance, so I do not burn out. Another way that focusing on developing relationships can be tough is when we lean into our biases, letting them dictate who we choose to connect with. Especially at Notre Dame where the majority of the students are white, wealthy Catholics it can be difficult to make yourself branch out from this group to find other people. To be able to challenge your bias towards a certain group will lead to more relationships that may not have had the opportunity to develop had you stayed in your comfort zone. This is difficult to do, no doubt, but we have to do better in accepting that, as a white person, we have privilege: “It became clear over time that white people have extremely low thresholds for enduring any discomfort associated with challenges to our racial worldviews.” (“Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism” by DiAngelo – Moreau FYE Week Ten). This privilege gets in the way of forming relationships that have the power to change your life. If you really want to pursue a life well-lived, then getting rid of biases will help. While we all have biases, we can choose to surround ourselves with people who share your biases, or we can step outside our comfort zone to really try and challenge ourselves in getting rid of a potentially harmful bias. Social media poses a threat to having constructive dialogue with people who disagree with you, and ultimately a threat to living out my mission of fostering community. There are definitely aspects of social media that have created community, https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146592 but there are also aspects that have created a dangerous “community” of people who share biases and will not listen to those who disagree with them: “They will learn a lot of facts and talk about those facts. They will participate in a kind of craft. They’ll go online and share memes, have a discussion, very similar to how sports fans listen to sports radio” (“Passion Isn’t Enough” by Hersh – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). It is truly a craft and not a true dialogue to help challenge any biases. If I am to pursue a life well-lived, I must be fine with making myself uncomfortable and actually listening to others’ perspectives. This way I can form meaningful relationships with people who also care about getting the truth right. These can make living out my mission difficult, but I can always remind myself of my mission so I can continue living it out. Reminding myself of my mission grounds me in a life I know I want to pursue and live. To ground myself, I need to take time to remind myself of my values and when I do that, I know that I am on the right track to pursuing a life well-lived: “Remember the roots you grew up with, not lose sight of yourself as you’re presented with the many challenges life has to offer, and keeping a tight grip on your values which can help lead you to the people that will help you be the person you want to be” (“Domer Dozen”-- Hillmer – Moreau FYE Week Two). Being able to recognize when I need to ground myself is a skill that takes time because it can become such a habit to bury yourself in work instead of addressing the problem. Doing something that you enjoy will help you avoid burnout and keep you pursuing a life you envision for yourself. Where is the joy and purpose in pursuing a life you do not like: “‘Contentment is an obstacle. Joy always pushes us forward. It’s an impulsion, a pressure to move forward, to do more, to expend oneself more deeply, more richly, to open one’s talents even more widely than one had before’” (“Three Key Questions” by Himes – Moreau FYE Week Three). Joy is so powerful, and especially as a first year it is important to pay attention to where you find joy so you can start https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146605 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146500 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146508 pursuing a life well-lived. It is perfectly acceptable for you to experiment with different classes, clubs, activities, etc. to find what you truly enjoy. As a student it is your job to be in-tune with your own mission, pursue it, and change it if necessary. That is a part of being a college student. I think with my time at Notre Dame, I will stick with my mission because I feel confident in my values and what I enjoy doing. I think ultimately, “Why questions can draw us to our limitations; what questions keeps us curious…Why questions trap us in our past; what questions help us create a better future” ( “The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Eurich – Moreau FYE Week Six). Asking yourself “why” questions is not as productive as asking “what” questions. Finding what you enjoy will take a lot of self-reflection and time, but you have to make sure that you are asking the right questions. If you are constantly stuck in the past by asking “why” questions, then it will be difficult to pursue a life well-lived. Pursuing a life well-lived looks different for each one of us because we have different values. My value of community and forming meaningful relationships is what drives me to be the best I can be. I can pursue a life well-lived by getting involved with clubs and activities that I enjoy or becoming a leader within my hall so I can help others to form community with new people. Although it will be difficult at times when biases and social media get in the way, I can find ways to remind myself of what I value to continue pursuing the life I want for myself. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146547