Integration Three Abigail Donahue Moreau Integration Three March Fourth, 2022 I Was Never Able to Pray “Wheel me down to the shore where the lighthouse was abandoned and the moon tolls in the rafters. Let me see the wind paging in the trees and see the stars flaring out, one by one, like the forgotten faces of the dead. I was never able to pray, but let me inscribe my name in the book of waves and then stare into the dome of a sky that never ends and see my voice sail into the night.” -Edward Hirsch We are gathered together today to celebrate the life of . Abbey, like most people, never liked funerals. Unlike most people, however, Abbey didn’t like them not because they dwell on death and loss, but because she thought they misrepresented it. It took her 18 years, the death of all her grandparents, the murder of her best friend’s mom, and the suicide of her high school friend for her to truly understand how to �nd meaning in a life ended. If Abbey were here, she would be whispering in your ear or writing in her journal that life and death are two sides of the same coin. Abbey wasn’t afraid of death, Abbey doesn’t want you to be sad she’s gone. She would say the Ancient Greeks (who Abbey studied extensively in her college years) believed a person couldn’t even be considered happy until they were dead. She would tell every single one of you that she loves you, and if you love her you need to continue living for yourself. You’ll still see her in the ripple of waves on a breezeless day, and hear her in the gritty growl of a saxophone solo. Life would be nothing without death, she exists nowhere outside of your memories and she never did. As I said before, Abbey probably would not have wanted a funeral. She never subscribed to an organized religion, she found this spirituality instead in individualism and following her moral compass. Abbey was a dedicated and passionate vegan from age 17 until her passing. She sympathized deeply for the animals enduring factory agriculture, and for Mother Earth who su�ered from this continuous beratement. This dedication to a cause she was so passionate about mirrored that of Father Hesburgh and alumni Michael Hillmer ‘17. As Father Hesburgh once said “We all ought to be protesting against many of the things we see in modern life.”(Hesburgh by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau Week Two) For Abbey, one of the things in modern life that she strongly believed needs to be protested is animal abuse, particularly in factory farms and �sheries. By advocating for veganism and plant-based diets, she found a sense of ful�llment because she believed standing up for this cause is the right thing to do. Abbey believed wholeheartedly that all living beings were connected through the lifeworld and deserving of reverence. Her favorite hours were spent walking through the woods with a good friend or classical playlist. She liked to sit under the trees at night and thank the universe for giving her these beautiful moments. This resolution to enjoy sitting still in nature instead of surrounding herself with the intrusive buzzing of screens re�ected the quote “To me, the point of sitting still is that it helps you see through the very idea of pushing forward” (Why we need to slow down our lives by Pico Iyer - Moreau Week 1). Although Abbey was a proponent of living in the natural world and appreciating the beauty of Earth, she was also able to balance this passion with a successful career in corporate law. The perception of the workplace and “adult life” is typically that it's soul sucking and something to dread and despise. Abbey, however, saw them as complimentary. Everything is nature and everything is made up of nature. Beauty and harmony can be found in even the most unaesthetic and mundane places. Abbey was able to �nd joy in her corporate o�ce through the interaction with her wonderful coworkers, and the “invisible hand” machine that drove her company. Since eighth grade, Abbey always knew that she desired a stable and traditional career path. In middle school Spanish class, when her teacher asked the students to go around the room and say what they wanted to be when they grew up, she answered with feliz. For her, the end goal has always been to be happy and satis�ed with her career path. This seems intuitive, but oftentimes people become caught up in the clout or reputation of their prospective �elds, rather than if it makes them happy. Although many of her peers hate o�ce jobs or more “traditional” work settings, she always knew that this atmosphere would be a productive and sustainable place for her to work. Her dad, Ryan, has been an airline pilot his whole life, and while he loves being able to �y and travel, she always hated the irregularity of his schedule. “Everything you’ve done to this point, as well as all the interactions you’ve had with others, have already started shaping your VIPS.” (Navigating Your Career Journey, Meruelo Center - Moreau Week Four) She would say with certainty that her experience growing up in a household with a parent with an untraditional workplace has made her appreciate the traditional and successful career path she pursued. Family was always an important and reliable part of Abbey’s life. Ever since she was a child, she strongly utilized the advice of her mom when making di�cult life decisions, such as the career https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ discernment illustrated above. Her mom knew her better than anyone else, and encouraged her to chase this career path even if it wasn't the “most exciting”, because she knew it was what would make Abbey ful�lled and happy. (Moreau Week Five) She also was able to be the most vulnerable and authentic around her parents and younger brother, Ted. As Fr. Greg Boyle said in Tatoos On the Heart: “Somewhere, in the jurisdictional locale where judgment used to claim us, a remarkable commonality rushes in, and the barriers that exclude us are dismantled.” (Tatoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle - Moreau Week Seven). Abbey also loved art, journalism, and writing. She was always looking to expand her mind and challenge herself with new beliefs. One quote she loved was “ “Asking what could keep us open to discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in con�ict with our existing beliefs. Asking why might have the opposite e�ect.” (The Right Way to be Introspective by Tasha Eurich - Moreau Week Six) She was an avid reader and listener of the New York Times, and one quote that really resonated with her was “But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we �nd light in them.” (Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die by Ruth Graham - Moreau Week Three) This quote also described her beliefs on life and death being the things that de�ne each other. Just as you cannot know what day is without having experienced night, you can’t know a meaningful life without a meaningful loss. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/files/523771/download?download_frd=1 https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html