Moreau Integration 3 Integration 3 Moreau First-Year Experience Death and all his Friends Before writing this, I had a chance to read a conversation that Varun had with his father during his first year of college. They had transcribed it for a college course but I think the things they spoke about are true even to this day. Even though he is no longer with us, Varun was first and foremost a people’s person. He naturally got along with most people and he was good at breaking through barriers and interacting with people of all ages and backgrounds. His father was also correct about his off-brand form of resilience, what he saw was an unwillingness to give up despite being hard on himself for failure, which is something he stayed true to his entire life. (Discernment Conversation Activity - Moreau FYE Week 5) Varun believed in doing what he loved, he would commit whatever it was and do it to the best of his ability. Be it college, work, or spending time with his family. When he was doing something he loved he did it better. His philosophy was best characterized by this quote: “It’s really hard to motivate yourself to do well if you’re just not interested in that subject matter or activity, or maybe your skill is lacking so it gets frustrating quickly.” (Navigating Your Career Journey by Notre Dame Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4). Varun firmly stood for doing the things he loved and doing them as well as possible. Despite his busy life, balancing a successful career as a consultant and his family one thing Varun always made time for was reflection. He only told me this in a conversation closer to his death, but he said reflection was the one thing that kept him focused and motivated. Despite this, he claimed that introspection needed to be done correctly. He told me a sotory about a time https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit?usp=sharing https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ in college after a physics test how he tried to introspect Buddhist scholar Tarthang Tulku uses an apt analogy: when we introspect, our response is similar to a hungry cat watching mice. We eagerly pounce on whatever “insights” we find without questioning their validity or value.” - (The right way to be introspective by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week 6 ). He told a story about his time in college where he reflected incorrectly after a physics test, and how it lead to him feeling disheartened and lacking the motivation to do anything about it. He said he had to learn how to reflect in order for it to be beneficial to him. Another aspect of reflection that Varun claimed to be important to him was to take a pause. Life is messy, the pace seems to accelerate every week, eventually making it feel like time just races by. Varun didn’t let this phase him, he would say: “That’s the reason American football players prefer to go into a huddle rather than just race toward the line of scrimmage.” (Why we need to slow down our lives by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). Funnily enough, if not for his Notre Dame education he wouldn’t have even known what that meant. Irony aside, it was at Notre Dame that he learned the importance of this. He said had he not gone to one of the top institutions in the United States he wouldn’t have been in an environment where that was faced paced enough to need to pause and think about the way his life was going. I think Varun’s life could be characterized best by his relationships with other people. He was remembered by his family as a loving father and husband, his friends as loyal and selfless. Most of all we remember him as humble. Varun believed that "Power is like drinking gin on an empty stomach." You feel dizzy, you get drunk, you lose your balance, and you will end up hurting yourself and those around you if you don’t connect your power with humility and tenderness. (Why the future worth building includes everyone by Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). He always believed that we best connected with people when we are humble as we https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript have a much more honest platform in which we feel like we can own up to our mistakes and we can move forward rather than choosing unnecessary hills to die on. The most inspiring thing about Varun was his approach to opportunity. He would remind all of us that every situation presents a unique opportunity and all we have to do is search for them. His friends and family heard his views on opportunity so much that it became a part of our daily lives. Just because one door closes doesn’t mean there are still a bunch of ones still not open. When challenged with adversity I just feel like it’s important to be resilient and take advantage of every opportunity presented to you, even if it’s not the one you were necessarily expecting. (2021 Domer Dozen Honoree: Michael Hillmer ’17 - Moreau FYE Week 2). He spoke these words so frequently in regard to his time at Notre Dame, and how he felt there was always an opportunity to explore something he was interested in, be it his elective cyber security class or his membership of the Formula SAE club. At 95 years old, Varun was not scared to die. He thought about death as an unfortunate inevitability. At Notre Dame, he picked up a practice thought up by a Nun to help him reflect on his own mortality. “Remember your death.” The concept is to intentionally think about your own death every day, as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. It can seem radical in an era in which death — until very recently — has become easy to ignore. (NYT- Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). He believed that a lot of the time we find ourselves busy and engrossed in what we are doing and we sometimes fail to see the bigger picture. Sometimes we are doing things that we don’t enjoy or aren’t what we want and we hang on to them because it isn’t easy to admit to ourselves that we might have wasted some of our precious time on earth pursuing things that didn’t work https://domerdozen.nd.edu/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html out. He believed in always being a hundred percent truthful to oneself and remembering that life is bigger than any isolated incident that may feel like the entire world. Of all the people in the world, you picked me as your best friend Varun. Your wisdom and friendship have made filled my time on earth with unforgettable moments. Your wife and kids will agree, it was wonderful having you in our lives.