key: cord-0987080-u8etoc75
authors: Fischer, Kyle
title: COVID-19 and Advanced Pharmacy Practice Experiences: A Student's Takeaway
date: 2021-03-17
journal: J Am Pharm Assoc (2003)
DOI: 10.1016/j.japh.2021.03.005
sha: db13c67292480bd94f0ff085af69d5d9f6b3b564
doc_id: 987080
cord_uid: u8etoc75

nan

It was around 0600 when "Code Blue Main Tower" was heard on the intercom. That was one of 1 many code blues that day, a day that would never be forgotten. 2

One of the most significant mile markers on the road to obtaining a Doctorate of Pharmacy is 3 the student progression from didactic years to advanced pharmacy practice experiences (APPEs). As 4 incoming APPE students await rotation start dates, varying degrees of eagerness, anxiety, and 5 uncertainty may loom. Pharmacy schools have prepared students for this transition from predominantly 6 classroom-centric to a practice-centric experience. However, no one was prepared for a global 7 pandemic. Welcome to the first APPE during a pandemic. 8 COVID-19 swept across the world in 2020 and impacted pharmacy practice in numerous ways. 9

As my first APPE rotation started in June 2020, a few pharmacy school colleagues discussed our 10 concerns about going forward. I could feel the uncertainty in conversations with peers as the world's 11 state became more alarming and the level of uneasiness rose. As pharmacy students, we had prepared 12 ourselves with clinical knowledge and skills, but not enough schooling could have prepared us for APPEs 13 during a pandemic. 14 "Code Blue Main Tower" were the four words that sank my heart continuously that day. That 15 was the sixth code blue called that morning, and being on the front lines gave a different perspective as 16 death and chaos consumed the day. Like many hospitals across the nation, capacity had been reached. 17

What if my patient dies? My mind was racing with uncertainty. However, at the same time, I was eager. I 19 wanted to be here and be part of the healthcare team. I wanted to contribute in any way possible and 20 make a meaningful difference. I wanted to put my best foot forward and lend support. Although up for 21 the challenge, I could not confidently say I was 100% prepared for what I would encounter. 22

In pharmacy school, we mostly learn clinical knowledge and skills. Expressing and handling 23 emotions is not emphasized as much, and I had yet to encounter a situation in a professional setting 24 that was emotionally draining. I have always struggled with expressing myself and tend to 1 compartmentalize my emotions and carry on. However, one thing I learned quickly is the importance of 2 being human. But how do I cope with emotions that I cannot explain? How can I accept watching 3 someone I have been taking care of die? Is it okay to feel sad, overwhelmed, scared, or numb? Growing 4 up, I was told on several occasions that showing emotions is a sign of weakness or 'not tough.' After all, I 5 am human. I was reminded of a reflection written by pharmacist Jennifer Ku, PharmD. It struck down my 6 emotional barriers and reiterated that yes, it is okay to show emotions, to reach out for assistance, and 7 "yes, you may cry." 1 Some days are easier than others. There are good days and not-so-good days. 8

However, we can take comfort from the situation at hand and embrace the uncertainty. 9

One key takeaway to note is that we can choose how we respond while we cannot always 10 control what happens. I am still searching to see how I could use this time to get better, grow, and be of 11 service. Witnessing the camaraderie that has arisen in the healthcare field and the bravery of those 12 serving daily to ensure their patients receive the best quality care has shown me that we will overcome 13 this pandemic together. 14 Pharmacists and their teams are vital healthcare providers. They remain on the frontline of 15 public health, serving their patients. No matter what profession or field you are in, we can all be of 16 service in one way, shape, or form. During the COVID-19 pandemic, putting forth our best efforts to 17 serve, love, and care for those around us goes a long way. I have seen the difference it can make, and I 18 urge everyone that it is okay to be human, to have feelings, and to express emotions. 19 "Code Blue Main Tower." Those four words that sank my heart that day now have shown me 20 that it is okay to be human. That the human spirit in all of us will rise, continue to fight, and display 21 courage, justice, and wisdom to be the change force that is needed throughout APPE rotations and 22

beyond. I just have to choose how I respond. 23

Yes, you may cry