The Passionate Morris.  
London, Imprinted by Richard Jones. 1593.   

To the Gentlewomen and others of England.  
ONce more (most beautiful damsels) I am bold to presume of your wont favour, thereby being lead to a performance of a vowed duty, where a kind zeal bindeth to offer the acceptance of a serviceable good will, there a careful feat that forewarneth to incur the hazard of offence, maketh the hart to stagger between hope and despair: hoping through the kindness of your gentle dispositions, to obtain a defence against injurious cavillers, and fearing by an over-bold presumption, to offer offence to the affable sweetness of your sovereign courtesy. But seeing my desire to be possessed of the better cordial, makes me hart-strong to sup of that potion which is likest to lengthen my welfare, the same being an assured confidence of your continual carefulness, in shrouding with your affection the slender substance of my humorous Morris.  
It is not long since for Tel-troths Newyeeres-gift, I presented unto your liking Robin goodfellow his news, with his invective against loves most injurious enemy jealousy: which though it was a token to gratify the day, yet if with indifferent judgement the matter therein contained be considered of, I doubt not, though it was a Newyears day toy, it may prove a many years help to hinder that hags enterprises. The work took his title according to the time of his creation but shall Robin's prescriptions be followed; the patient's malady shall continually find it a gift to signify the good beginning and prosperous proceeding of many new years unto them. But now to send Telltruth packing, Honesty hath thrust himself into your service, who though at the first sight he may seem a crabbed companion, yet let me beseech you to stay your censure till you have thoroughly tried what is in him, and if then he shows not himself a diligent pleaser of your immortal virtues, memorise in the Chronicles of Disdain the same of that runagate simplicity, and let me for his fault be banished from your good thoughts to everlasting ignominy.  
I was rather desirous to travel altogether invisible, then to have had a title which might give light to the understanding of me your unworthy professed Author; but since the higher powers deny me that privilege, I am content to subject myself to the opinions of courteous dispositions: beseeching you to bear with my vain, for that the vanity of this age regards no other, nor would any be content to hear of faults, unless they be told them in merriment. I protest there is nothing scandalous therein, nor which is meant to offer injury to any, only my purpose is, that if you should know any like unto any of those in disposition, that either you forewarn them those monstrous injurious vices, or account of them as pestilent foolish wretches. To shun tediousness, I commit m● intention to your mystical consideration, my work to your courteous protection, myself to your favourable opinions, and your sacred selves to the heavens tuition.  
Yours in service and affection most loyal A.   

THE PASSOINATE Morris.  
IN the month of March, a time as fit for wooing as May is pleasant to sport in, Honesty traveling as his custom is, to search such corners as good fellowship h●unteth, it was my hap, coming into Hogsden, to light upon a house, wherein were met such a troop of lovers, as had not the hall been wondrous big, a multitude should have been forced to stand without doors. Yet though the room was so spacious, as an army might have lodged therein without pesterment, notwithstanding it was so well filled at this instant, as all the place Honesty could get amongst them, was to sit on the rafters on the top of the house, which fitted best my humour, that desires rather to see then to be seen. There seated in my Majesty (as ready to hear news, as the pick thank is forward to tell news) I might easily perceive my lovers mated, as if they meant to make March birds, every man having his sweet heart, and every couple their corner. There were of all sorts, and in many manners sorted, some bachelors sewed to widows, others to maids, widowers likewise wooed some maids, and othersome widows, there was age and youth coupled together, equality of years courting each other, and diversity of dispositions, arguing to make a sympathy.  
Amongst them, I lent my ears first to a couple that had chosen forth the most secret corner in the house, which were not worst fitted for years; for it was a youth of three and twenty, that had matched himself with a maid of eighteen: he holding her upon his knee, with his right hand clasping hers, & his left about her middle, made many proffers to win her favour, and breathed many sighs to show his love, he vowed constancy with protestations, and confirmed with oaths the pledge of his loyalty; he showed her how long he had loved her befor● he durst tell her of his affection, how many journeys he had made with loss of labour, and how many complaints to the God of Love not finding any remedy. He made her privy to the many hours he had at sundry times spent in watching to have a sight of her, showing unto her how joyful he were, had he, perchance, but seen any creature belonging to her father's house, yea were it but the little dog that turned the spit. Many times (quoth he) have I looked up to the window, imagining I have seen thy picture engraven in the glass, when with long gazing to view the true portraiture thereof, I have at last recalled myself, by letting my soul see how mine eyes were deceived, in expecting that true form from the glass, which was only pictured in my heart. Then would I sorrow to myself, and power forth such passions into the air, as my heart, bring over loaded with the extremity they would force, would constrain me to sit down, ending my speech with such sighs, as my breathed sorrow would no less darken the air, than a misty fog doth obscure the sky. But at last, coming to myself, I would return home, locking up myself within my lodging, a close prisoner by the commandment of love; where to pass away the time, I would write passionate lines, amorous ditties, pleasing fancies, pleasant rounddelays, and doleful drerelayes. Now would I think to win thee by letters, anon I thought it better to pen speeches, but suddenly, both misliking me, I would throw myself upon the bed, so long thinking which way to obtain thee, as in the end I should fall into a slumber. Yet amidst my rest, my thoughts concerning thee were restless: For than should I dream sometimes thou spakest me fair, repaying my kindness with sweet kisses, granting my requests and forward to do my will: but awaking from forth that sovereign elusion, looking to find thee, I should feel the bed-poastes, that hard hap, turning my glad heart to a new bread sorrow, which was the more painful, by how much my dream was pleasing: at another time, I should think, that suing to thee for savour, thou wouldst bestow frowns, & proffering my service, thou wouldst offer scorns. If I sighed, thou wouldst smile, laughing at my tears, and joying at my grief, requiting every kind demand with so cruel answers, as if thy bitter words could not force me to leave my suit, thy scornful farewells should frustrate my will: offering to touch thine hand, me thought thou profereds thy foot, and stooping to catch that, being glad of any thing, thou wouldst in a rage fling from me, and leave the door barred against me. There should I sit till my teeth chattered in my head, and my heart ached in my belly: then should I shake for cold, and sigh for sorrow, when thinking to knock my legs against the ground to get heat, I should kick all the clothes off me, being in the end constrained to awake through cold. At what time that cold fare would better content me, than the former flattering cheer did please me, being as glad it was false, as I would have been glad if the other had been true. Many like to these did I endure before my acquaintance with thee, not knowing any means how to obtain the same of thee, until happily finding thee in a summers evening at the door, I presumed to enter parley with thee, offering myself your servant, which had been a twelvemonth your sworn subject, doubting of your patience, though you seem to be a pattern of pity. How and after what order I have since that time besought your savour, yourself shall be my judge, for I list not to rehearse my daily shifts, to show my zeal, my manifold conclusions to obtain your company, my gifts to woo the servants, and my presents to gain your good will. But to be brief, thereby to come to that I like best, one whole year I loved thee before thou knewest me, & three more are passed since first I spoke to thee: yet then was I as near as now I am, and now as far off as I was then. Say therefore sweet, since to stay longer yields but little comfort, shall my suit now end with the verdict, You love me?  
To which long preamble, shut up with so hot a conclusion, she no less prepared herself to answer him, than Friar Tuck used ceremonies before he song matins. She cast her eyes up to Heaven, as if she had been making her prayers to love, sighing so bitterly, as I thought her placket lace would have broken, then to the matter thus she answered. Alas gentle sir, I must confess I have found you kind, and you have been at a great deal more cost than I could wish you had, your suit hath been long, and my kindness not much, nor do I hope you expect more at my hands then you have had, before my friends have granted their good will. Maidens are modest, and must not be prodigal of their courtesy: children are bound and cannot consent without their parent's counsel: pardon me therefore I pray you, if I say I love you not, since my father knows you not, and think not much if I desire you to leave to love me, until my mother give me leave to like of you. At which time assure yourself I will be as ready to perform your will, as they shall be forward to wish me that good, and thus in the mean time, I hope you will rest satisfied. This was a shroade bone for my passionate youth to gnaw on, that being so strucken on the head as his heart ached therewith, thought to ease his sorrow with this reply. Ah my sweetest sweet (quoth he) Think not on thy father's counsel, seeing a greater friend craveth his desert, nor let me rest their leisure without pity, that hath thus long remained constant unto thee. I love thee nor for thy friends sake, though I love them for thy sake: nor do thou loath me for their pleasure that lives but at thy pleasure. But sweet and sovereign of my heart, as thy thoughts be not tied to their wills, so let not thy love be linked so fast to their liking, as their mislike should end my life by removing thy love. Say my goddess, and therewithal as he was proceeding, she cut off the rest with this short answer. I beseech you sir to leave off your courting, unless you intend some other conclusion then as yet I can gather: for of my faith love you I will not, nor consent I dare not without my friends give their consents first, and thereupon she thrusted through the throng and posted out of doors, leaving my passionate lover to say his pater noster alone, where we will leave them.  
What I thought I will tell you, and I hope you will not doubt of the matter, for that Honesty speaks it. One years love without acquaintance, and three years suit to be never the nearer: either he was a bad lawyer, or she a monstrous unjust judge: but be it, both a passionate Ass, and a peevish wench were well met. But mark his folly and her cunning, he building Castles in the air and setting traps in the Sun to catch the shadow of a coy quean, was pleased by her, with wagging his bauble, and ringing his bell, while she picked his pocket and cut his purse. A proper piece of service of a passionate Soldier, and a pretty sleight of a flattering Slut: I would we had more of them, nay why wish I that, since the world is too full of such already? Yet of my honesty, she was as fit a match for such a fool, as might be found in the world. A great deal of fond fancy repaid with a sharp short denial, and three years affection rewarded with an ounce of flattery, mingled with a pound of discourtesy? a good cordial to comfort so kind a heart. Oh the subtlety of the devil, that under the shadow of obedience, covers the craft of cozenage. It is hot love that builds on friends liking, and pestilent affection that relies rather on the mother's love, then on the lovers loyalty. Such as stands so curiously on their Parents good will, having dealt so craftily without their consent, are worthy by Honesty's doom to stand in a Cage, until either their friends good will be got, or her sweet heart's licence obtained for her delivery. And this is too good, for that the kind Ass will too too soon release her: I think this punishment would be worse welcome unto her, namely, that she be bound from marriage, so long as she hath kept him without his answer, which will so pinch her prodigal desire, as either she will forswear honesty, or never commit the like knavery. Oh there is a company of minions which delight to have many suitors, that they may brag amongst their mates of their diversity of lovers: they think it commendable to have store of customers. But knew they so much as I know, they were better to go once in a fortnight to Green's Cunnyberries, then to have such resort to haunt their companies.  
Honesty honours the consent of Parents, but abhors such love as is built on their liking, if there be no remedy but that either they shall like, or thou wilt not love, let him have thy Father's good will before he obtains thy countenance: for doubtless she that will entertain lovers, and repay their courting with kindness, will care as little for her friends counsel, happening on a mate she can fancy, as the horse will for hay, that hath his manger full of provender. And what is the cause why so many stand so curiously on their friends consent? nought forsooth, but the presumption of a double bait, that being sure of their countenance, they may be assured of an other dinner if their own likes them not; or otherwise to have a hole to hide a For in, for that her own den is not secret enough. If her Husband control her for any misdemeanour, or reprove her of any dishonest behaviour, than on goes her pantoples, building the reckoning of her honesty on her father's countenance, so far presuming of his bounden duty for the match making, as if he kept the key of her housewifry. Her long tongue utters large speeches, standing at defiance under the banner of her Father's defence, and his house must be her Castle to keep her from her Husband. This is the commodity a man shall reap by such a match, and this is their meaning that would cover their rebellion with the cloak of obedience. Is not he well preferred that is so well married, and how can he mend it? Marry no way but this, that he which is mated with the like inconvenience, to learn more wit against the next time, striving in the mean time to please both her and her friends, since he had so much reason to woe both her friends and her to be bound to so bad a bargain.  
It is folly (quoth a wise man) to be sorrowful for things irrecoverable, and Honesty thinks it madness to repent for deeds done, whereof herself is culpable: can any man be so witless (especially in matter wherein wisdom is so much required) as to do, and wish undone in a moment? yea doubtless, Honesty knows such, they being the hot spurs of our age, that think every day a twelve month until they be married, and after they are matched, every hour seven years, until they are parted. It was hot love that will be so soon cold, some of you will say, but I say, if it bade been hot love (as it was burning lust) it would not have been so soon cold. For whereas the proverb goes, that hot love will be soon cold, it is meant by such affection as wants matter thereby to continue longer. For as that is the purest wood which yields the perfectest heat, and the purer it is, the sooner it willbe it own destruction, leaving the sitters by without fire, unless a fresh supply be as need requires, added; so will our hot love (whose kindled affection is come unto it perfection, the heart being on such a blaze, as every part of it is on a light flame) decay (as reason and nature requireth) unless new faggots of kindness, add fresh matter for firing, the supply thereof remoning all suspicion of want of affection. How pure the love is, where there is so light a regard of proffered kindness, as my Father's will or my Mother's leave must be a Spur to my liking, let every one judge that knows love.  
But ●n my opinion, as I confess that the duty we own to our Parents, may do much where the knowledge thereof binds to obey, so must I confirm that love is a duty himself, b●nding to so great obedience and tying with such strong convaiances, as he removes all thoughts of lower duties: I terming all duties lower, for that by commandment those duties must be rejected in respect of the loving duty that a Husband shall require. Now how far my nice Mimon was from knowing this duty, her coy demeanour and cunning behaviour hath manifested. Yet how happy was my youth at l●st to be rid of such a monster? And monster may I term her in respect of her lewd behaviour; for was it not much better that her inconstancy should have been known before he was fast linked unto her, than it should have been found when it had been incurable? Doubtless it was a good cause he had to double his orisons unto love, for so lovingly preserving him from so pestilent a prittie-bird, I should have said pricking-burre, or paltry bauble.  
But to come to my second couple, which were seated opposite to these in an other corner, being a lusty widower that was courting a gallant wench, both of them being highly beholding to nature for her liberal skill in their making, which were thus placed. She was set down overlooked by him standing before her, having ●ne of his hands leaning on her lap, and the other resting on the w●l, having thereby (as I guess) the more liberty to use his pleasure, in bestowing kind kisses and loving favours: so he wa● seated, and thus he began to sue. Fair Maid (quoth he) I know my experience to be greater than your practice, for that I have tried, rules me by reason: having loved and lived with my love, until by the fates I was bereft of that fruit, so well liked I of my last loss, as my former good hap breeds an assured hope of the like good fortune, that being a help to further my will, and a mean to make a now choice: which change, what good it shall yield, yourself shall challenge, whose good report hath bound me to commence my deserts, to receive their censure by your doom. To boast what I am were frinelous, for that your friends are already privy to my estate, and to say how well I love you were bootless, for that women love to try ere they trust, yet unless I should say more than I have said, I should seem to say nothing: though to say more than is spoken already were ●éerely foolish For thus stands the case, I have made choice of you for my second wife, and have already your friends good will, there rests therefore nothing but a confirmation of your duty, in agreeing to that they have confirmed: thus conuning to a full point, he closed up his period with a brace of smirking kisses, which wrought with his Lover, as a strong pill doth with a sore sick patient: namely, they forced her to answer him thus threwdely. The assurance of your good fortune Sir, hath made you highly beholden to her deity, that dancing in the morris of good matches, you should be led by her to so good hap: but belike it was over good to continue long, either her kindness being overmatched with your unconstancy, or your good hap over ruled by fortune's cruelty: They ever change and lightly never but for the worse: which the rather seems so unto me, by the sure knowledge I have of your second choice, that is so far unequal to your reported first match, as I know your liking would not remain long, or my misliking would come too too soon; because I am not able to follow what you● first wife hath performed, and you will be unwilling to bear with the wants your second choice must be enriched with. But peradventure I mistake your meaning, for where as I think you sue to have me to your second wife, you seek but to have my good will to live with my friend, 〈◊〉 good s●r my duty (as you say) must not gainsay their pleasure, nor will I for that matter, but with all my heart if you have their licence for your board, have my good will to obtain your bed there also, for their house is at their own commandment. Then doubt I not (replied he) to have you for my bedfellow. But that doubt I (answered she) for that I know the contrary. Why dare you (quoth he) to disobey your Father's commandment? No (said she) so it be for my commodity. It shall be both for your profit and preferment. Make me to believe that (quoth she) and then peradventure it may be a bargain. Why woman (said he) I deserve your better. Take her (answered she) and I will not be matched to your inferior. Why then I see you do scant love me? I use it not (quoth she) and yet I swear I will mock you, rather than marry with you. With which being highly displeased, he bestowed three or four crabbed terms, being liveries of his choleric long tongue, and so departed.  
A shame go with him, thought Honesty, whatsoever she thought, and with all such Lovers; lovers? with a halter, lubbers I may better term them. What monstrous matches are such as are shuffled up after the self same order? Suppose she had been fearful and durst not to have resisted the receipt of what she loathed, imagine she had been foolish and could not have judged of affection? think she had been forward, and would have been glad of any one? alas poor wretch, I pity the supposition, what should I have said to the confirmation? I know assuredly she should have sighed whatsoever I had said, and mourning should have been her companion, what ere had been my communication; he would have danced with her portion, while she had drooped through want of affection; he would have loathed her company, for that she was not a daily commodity; her life should have been like the hackneys that are at every man's commandment for the hire, and her joy as momentary as the flourishing green grass in july. Pitifully should she have lived, punished by him without pity, and this is my reason of the possibility; for that it is most likely he loved her not, & how well any body use them they love not, let them speak that suspect not. Now that he loved her not, may be proved both by his kind of wrong, carlessly suing unto her, peremptorily usurping her Father's authority, which was a band to lie her to obedience, though a bad mean to obtain her courtesy. For affection is not to be limited, nor love to be compelled, but contrarily, hatred follows fear, and fear foreruns mislike, and how we love those we regard not, judge they that woe and obtain not? But this custom is too common and over cruel, namely, a wooing of friends, and a constraint of love, I would not say, compelling, but for fear it shoul● have been taken for compelling. Were Honesty a Iust●●e, they should either lie in the stocks a fortnight, or marry her I would match him with, which should seek a wife after this order. I think verily he would rather stay his stint by the heels, then be bound to the other inconvenience; and yet he could find in his heart to bind another to the bad bargain. This is charity, yea & never a whit of honesty, being so far from civility, as the Miller's craft is from true dealing. Now truly truly, to deal as we would be dealt with, is sent to the hedge a begging, and neighbourly love is made a hackney, being so worn to the bones with seeking a good Master, as his skin will hang on the bush shortly.  
I have heard a report of a passing kind man, that complained of his wife at a Sessions, for pissing a pot full, judging thereby she was dishonest, and that same man shortly after burying his wise, sued to a maid, after the manner aforesaid: he had obtained her friends good will, and were at a point for the Maiden's love, yet on a time she was troubled with the headache, at his being with her, whereof he so misliked, as in the morning he went to the Physicians to have their opinions to what disease it could turn, and upon their report left her. I am assured I have erred in no point, unless I have mistook the last, putting the physicians opinion in the room of his own bad meaning; it was no disease indeed that misliked or misled him, but it was of the Father's purse, not of the Daughter's head: well she was well provided for in missing of him, and if he sped any thing the better, let him boast of it, but Honesty can judge no better of the remnant of his companions, than his action gives the verdict of him, which is as bad as may be.  
But to another that happened on one that had the too thank, with whom he would not matry for fear the hollowness of her tooth should corrupt her breathe, and so annoy his cold stomach. It was cold indeed, and I would such stomachs might be heated with red hot gold, as cheerful as scalding lead. Well to a third, he liked her parents well, for that they were honest & godly, and as well of the maiden, because she seemed modest: to be brief, he could find no fault in either of them, only his fear was that the Daughter would be somewhat shrewish, for that she had a long nose, and thereupon gave her over. If her nose had been long enough, I think ●he might have smelled a knave, but I am assured she knew● a churl, and so let her claim him wheresoever she sees him. Yet one more of the same stamp, and so we will leave them. This was a wooer in grain, who had gone so far, as they were at next door to he asked in the Church. The wedding apparel was bought, the day appointed, yea and I may tell you, many of the guess bid, only there was no assurance, for that he abhorred: but it fortuned that before the day there died a rich man that left a wealthy widow, to whom he made so secret love, as he won her good will within a fortnight after the death of his predecessor: well, notwithstanding to save his sergeant credit, and preserve his hypocritical honesty, he resorted daily to his old sweet heart, with whom upon some small reason he fell at odds, using her so unkindly in speeches, as he drew tears for sorrow. Glad of this, though turning his earnest into jest, he called her unto him, in the presence of many of her Father's servants, then swearing that if the took him not about the neck & kissed him, he would never marry with her as long as he lived. Which the young Gentlewoman refused to do, partly for that he had injured her highly, but the rather lest such fondness should seem immodesty to the servants: upon whose denial, in a great fume he slung forth of the doors, and in a rage as if of spite, within one fortnight after he matched with the widow aforesaid. But to tell you what a life she lead with him, were to hunt from the purpose, yet assure yourself it was so bad, as the world judged this maid never better blest then in not being bestowed ne cast away upon him.  
Such and of the same sort are these money-woers, that sue first to the Father to save labour, for speed they will, and if they miss in one place, they know another where they will practise. And how can it be judged otherwise, seeing their meaning in using that mean imports no less: for think they, if I have the Father's good will, the daughter will be easily won, and if I miss of his, I save that time and labour, in suing to the maid, besides the gifts I should bestow. Ha ha, I have him by scent, and what think you of him? in faith no otherwise then Honesty believes. You smell a Fox, I and a rank one too, whose breach is so stained with this gild matter, as it may easily be judged what muck he loves. Alas good hearts, that are coupled with such bad minds, this is love? true, but what love? covetous love, hateful dissimulation, hypocritical affection, and what not that is contrary to the sweet sovereign love, which sues for kisses and not for co●ne, which craves the heart & nothing e●se; for with it all she hath is his, and he that will look for more, I would he had a halter, and he shall not want it in hell, howsoever he spéedes here. Fie fie, marriages for the most part are at this day so made, as look how the butcher bies his cattle, so will men sell their children. He that bids most shall speed soonest, & so he hath money, we care not a fart for his honesty. Well it hath not been so, and I hope it will not be long so, & I will assure you, loves commonwealth will never flourish until it be otherwise. Why, it is a common practise to ask the father what he will give with his child, and what is that differing from cheapening an Ore? And it is as common, that if she be fat, it is a bargain, but if lean, she must stay another customer. Out alas what love is this, in faith if I might have sped better in another place, come to notice after I have bought your daughter, she shall pay for it, or I will make dice on her bones. Apittifull partenership, where there is no greater love, and how can but one of them be undone? He will use her ill, because he loves her not, and she cannot love him for not using her well; for whom we fear we hate, and what then? He will practise her end, she will wish his death, and while they live together, it will be so full of heart break through quarrels and contentions, as woe to them both, I and to the third too, that was so forward to make so bad a match. But howsoever they two speed, I am assured she will speed worse, as for her husband, he will not want ercuses to defend his knavery, and her Father must believe him, because of her former credit given unto him; so that contented she must be, how discontented so ever she lives, and bear it she must, until her heart break, which happy day must end her misery, and set my crafty wooer at liberty.  
Thus much for my second corner, and now to my third couple, which were civilly seated on a bench together, they being the one a bachelor, and the other a widow, which was wooed by him after this like order. It were folly forséeth (quoth he) to use circumstances, since you are so well acquainted with the like practise: but to leave them and come to the matter, which is (as I think) the best mean to please us both, you shall understand that upon the good report your honest life hath deserved, I have conceived so good liking of you, as I should think myself happy, if I should speed no worse. I thank you (answered she) for your good will: but surely Sir, I think you have deceived yourself. For peradventure you imagine, or it hath been untruly reported, that I am the woman, which indeed I am not, namely rich, for that my deceased husband made some show to the world, but if that be your thought, I assure you, you are deceived. You mistake my meaning (replied he) for it is no such matter; I respect not so much your wealth, as I do your matronlike modesty, myself is young, and I have a trade, and am, I thank God, of myself able to maintain a woman. But I do rather desire to match with your like then with a younger, for that you know better, both what belongs to a man, as also to use thriftily what I get. And moreover myself is not so young, but that I am meeter to match with a widow then to marry with a maid, and would be most glad, if it might be my good hap to speed with you. I cannot tell (quoth she) what your good speed may be; I know you not, and therefore I hope you will give me leave to inquire of you, which done I will send you your answer by such a day, in the mean time I wish you well.  
I marry, Honesty, & what then? no marry these, forth she went to her broker to will him to search after his substance, using that manner which usurers can best disclose, which is their practice in putting forth their money. This was a passing commodity, for what better than a rich widow? but that foolish inquiry spoiled all: had she thanked him hearty, desired farther liberty, and had made search into his estate secretly, she had showed herself the wiser: but so bluntly to say, give me leave to inquire of you, showed as bad bringing up, as might be possible. But tut, I like her the better, because she could not dissemble, for she alas did but follow the common trade, doing with the ape, but what she had seen done before her. She had heard her husband instruct his apprentices to make a profit, and she thought she might try the same for her own good. I would she and others knew what was good for them, they would then rather respect the man then money. But this covetousness spoils all, though I would I had more, is too much in our mouths, for followed she not the greedy desire of adding muck to much? might she not as well have lived with this man, that had a trade as good, yea much better than her husbands was, as she did before with him? She had no children, suppose she had, they were provided for well, and what greater charge would this have brought? he had a care to live, or else he would have sought to love without respect; for who knows not that she is as able to satisfy a man's desire, that hath little, as she that hath much, if we only regard pleasure? Take this on Honesty's credit, that he that builds his love on such reason, as having little, he will choose one that hath somewhat, will prove a better match unto thee, then him that brings mountains. Beware when lou● is upholden with maintenance, if the heart remembers, I am thus much beholden unto her, she loved me or else she would never have matched with me, she made me a man, being before worse than nothing, how much better might she have done, if she had not been led with affection, and such like: It will also remember the duty this kindness requireth, even like for like, lest the worse cry shanie of him. How happy should parents be, were this in their remembrance at their mariges making? how blessed should their children be, if the like practices were used? and what a flourishing commonwealth would that be, where equality of birth (which always should be regarded specially on the man's side) should be linked to abundance, whereby the number of gentle beggars should be decreased, and the misgovernment of wealth will be avoided. One man should not have his cofersful, and twenty want it that better deserve it. How many able men should we have (if this were used) to serve and set forth men for the prince's service? where now I am but one man, and I am bound but to my stint, to find one man's charge, though I have five men's livings. But no more, this is too serious for Honesty, & I marvel how I fell into this vain, since I studied to be pleasant. What, think you, did my widow after her search of inquiry, for you must think that the bachelor longed for his answer? Marry though she was not afore in her speeches, yet she proved no less in her doing, for now she kept her house as closely as he doth his hold craftily. She misliked of the man, for what cause guess you, if you knew as much as I know, you would swear, not for lack of honesty, or because he was unthrifty. But will you know why? he had not the hundreds lying by him, as the report went she had left her, and therefore she thought it needless any one should lose so much labour, as to fulfil her promise in carrying his answer. Yet if that were all, it were well, I and it had been well for him (for the saving of  leather) if she would have spoken with him at his coming to fetch it: But my widow would not be within, or else she was busy: and thus was his kindness requited. Now ●●e of the devil, is this a meet reward for affection, nay suppose it be no more, the good will was it well requited? Me thinks that if his dog had come, h●e deserved better entertainment then to have been beaten away, and she had dealt better if she had sent himself away with a crabbed answer, than so unmannerly to use him by sléeveles ercuses. And well it were if she had no more fellows, but out upon them, there are too many such, whose coy niceness empress their mischievous fondness, for speak they will with any man that come, unless a Herald foreruns the sewtor.  
In my opinion, and it shall be grounded upon reason, such widows are worthy to sit while their breeches grow to their seats, as refuse to answer all conuners of what degree soever, and because I promised you reason, th●● shall be it. Who knows not that whosoever su●s for the like match, winneth a thousand encumbrances with his good speed, for he that knows not that care shall be mingled with his best contentment, shall fall into a pit before he beware of it. And who, were it not for his soul's health, would embrace such an inconvenience for a little commodity? I and the best marriage, is but a little commodity, in respect of the continual carking that comes with it. If then, as who says it is otherwise, a man makes so great suit for so small hearts ease (respecting the earthly pleasure) deserves not he a good countenance, or at least a welcome that longs for so bad a bargain? In my judgement, and it shall ●umpe with mine opinion, that woman ●● much more beholden to the man that would match with her, then to her parents that have brought her up; for they did what ere they did, of duty, & this doth what might be undone of mere devotion. Why, think the best you can, think for yourselves, suppose one that hath nothing comes to crave your love, did he only respect your wealth without his own welfare (and he that thinks to have welfare without dealing well with you, he reckons without his hostess, and shall find a new bill of charges) had he not much better to hazsurd the taking of a purse by the high way? Yes doubtless, for were he by that means brought unto misery, he might have death at his call, to rid him from extremity: but now being grieved uncessantly, he may seek for death, but meet with the devil, hope for an end, but feel the want of it continually. Yet come we to one further point, imagine some men that be over-unruly, desire to have access into your company, if you know them for such companions, I would hold you unwise to admit them into your presence, but shall your heart but say, I suspect without trial, you cannot outrun the crime of want of discretion. It is best therefore, you that fear such resort, to harbour yourselves, during the time of the heat of the market in such places, as the countenances of your protectors shall prevent suspect, and disparaged the practice of such undecent behaviour; or otherwise to appropriate unto your houses such helps as shall be likely to forestall the like mischief. That every one may be answered is Honesty's meaning, for unless they be, they have not their due, nor do ●ou show yourselves to be enriched with that courtesy, which wi●dowes discretion doth challenge. For let me tell you, and ensure as many as know it not, that a man shall find more pleasure in lying in the camp, being daily threatened with the bullets of his enemy, then in lodging with a wise, unless his wisdom be the greater. And I know you look for my reason, then for this cause, for that their unconstancy breeds more fear than the shot brings hurt, and their tender heart will crave more government to content them, than the other will ask forecast to prevent the danger they bring with them. For a steel coat resistes the harm of a musket, but what garment shall out stand her threatening of the horn? That man amongst Soldiers is counted accursed, that is strucken with a great shot, and that husband thrice blest among married men, that is not continually wounded with some misdemeanour, or other, he shall espy in his wife? well, I say no more, because I am a bachelor: but Honesty must speak the truth, or shame will follow him.  
It is wisdom to look before leaping, but extreme folly to stand upon nothing: he or she that makes many doubts, shall never want care, and she will il rule a charge that cannot charm a knave. Speak the devil fair and he will be satisfied, and what woman knows not how to flatter? It is good to know vice, that we may shun that evil, and as good to try the honesty of wooers, that you may not speed the worse. You shall often find a king's heart clad in a threadbare coat, and a senators wisdom harboured in a youthful head: virtue goes not by birth, nor discretion by years, for there are old fools, and young counsellors, counterfeit knaves & crabbed churls, the one being clad in a lambs skin, and the other kept warm with Fox fur. Nature makes, but fortune clothes, a rich knave therefore may march in the habit of a true meaning gentleman, when poor Honesty must go as he is able, be it in a mouldy cassock. I have heard it credibly reported, that there was a rich widow fell here in England, which had left her living enough to maintain a younger brother, and unto her did resort such an one, as had not seldom fling out at a booty, nor would have cared much if it had been his father, so he had met him in a convenient place. This young gentleman (yet not ver●●oung, for he was about forty) came unto this widow, to crave her good will, using as speedy terms as he desired quick speed. He told her his name, so well known throughout the country fo● a shifting liver, as he spoke no sooner than he was well known unto her. Whom she used courteously, answering him after this order. I hope gentle sir (quoth she) you will give me leave to answer you as speedily as you bluntly ask the question: And with all my heart (replied he,) for that is my desire. Then assure you thus much (said she) that if there were no more men in the world besides yourself, I would not marry with you. A short and sour answer (quoth he) yet let me assure you, that only such an one (naming himself) will have you, and so took his leave, departing in as good order, as she had in kind manner used him. Shortly after at a meeting with many of his companions, he craved their aid, finding them as forward to perform any thing he should require, as he would wish. Unto whom he showed his whole intention, the rather desiring their helps, for that they had been partners with him in as great hazards, well agreed upon the match, they road towards the widows house, coming thither in the evening about suppertime, when it was very dark, whereby their company could not be descried. They knockte at the gate, and was answered by the porter, that being asked who was within, certified them according to his knowledge. Him they so hampered, as gagde he was and bound, being laid forth of the way, which done, they passed further, entering the hall with their drawn sword, where they found all the servants at Supper. They had no weapons near them but bones, being unmeet instruments to resist armed men; and dogs they were not to be won by such baits. Therefore easily one by one they were bound and laid on a heap, the wooer in the mean time with two of his mates, being in the Parlour with the widow that was guarded with two suitors, being Gentlemen of account in that Country; he unmasked himself, for they had all vizards, and told the widow he was come for her: at what time one of them grew choleric, and I think it was he that was likest to have sped best, for he was placed on the bench nearest to her heart, and drew his poniard, the best weapon he had at that instant, making as if he meant to dart the same; but upon better consideration had, be put up his Dagger, and was contented to be hound with his fellow. All of them being bound they got the Widow forth, and bound her with a towel behind one of them, having before their departure hide all the Saddles and turned forth the Horses out from the house. Over a long plain they road so through a wood, where being out of greatest danger, he himself the wooer got up before the widow, entreating her to consider of their estates, not so much he himself respecting his own weal, as he regarded his friends welfare, whom he had drawn into that desperate action. But it was all in vain, for agree she would not, she swore rather to die then to consent, which seemed little to remedy his affection. Well, in short time they were come to a place prepared for the nonce, where they found a good fire with a Parson, and other good company, assembled together about the same matter. It was a wonderful rainy evening, so that all of them were thoroughly wet, but there she wanted nothing she could desire, nor spared he kind words to win her good will, which was so long in granting, as before the obtaining of it, Hue and cry was followed into that Town. Whereof he having notice, came to her with his last hope, w●lling her, that as she was a woman, either then or never to consent to the saving of all their lives. When she seeing no remedy, but either she must relent or they repent it: will you (quoth she) be good to my boy Tom? for she had one only child called Thomas. To say I would (replied he) in this extremity, might be said to be but flattery, but assure thyself I will, and much better than I will boast on: upon which agreement, they were forthwith married. Soon after he called her aside, and told her she was now his wife, whose credit was her good regard, we shall, I know (quoth he) be brought for this before the counsel, at which time unless you use the matter thus cunningly as to affirm this was your own practice, to show your love, and shun a bad report, we shall notwithstanding smart for it. Which she promised to do, and did indeed no less, all them being shortly after apprehended and brought up to answer it at the counsel Table, where she told so good a tale for him and his fellows to the effect aforesaid, as the fault was remitted and they discharged. Now that you may understand how well he requited this her kindness, she lived with him a long time, and yet less than a dozen years, and dying left this good report of his usage towards her: namely, that never woman lived with a more kind man than she had found him, with other such probable tokens of the certainty thereof, as a Country can witness the same. Himself lived not long after her, at his death leaving her son Thomas five hundred pounds by the year, over and above his own Fathers living, which he himself had purchased by his good husbandry.  
What say you to this unthrift? was not she put to a shrewd trial? she was and it proved passing well. Wherefore then should younger brothers be rejected, or why they that have little be unregarded? surely because the heart is covetous and mistrustful, and women's minds are aspiring being never contented. They so much thirst after preferment, as often they over-leape amendment, and jump just into a worse predicament.  
Many look so long for abundance of muck, as as they fall into a quagmire of miseries, having silver to look on, though wanting money to supply many wants, having a fair show and a shrewd keeper, one that hath more than enough, & yet will not part with any thing: Honest●e knows many of these, and they feel more than I can tell you. Who goes for the most part worse shod than the shoemakers child, and who hath less mone● in her purse than she whose Husband hath most in his chest? But for that I am some what strayed out of my way, I will return to my first widow before my shoes be quite worn: My forenamed Bachelor that neither by himself or his friends, could speak with her to know her answer, devised this conclusion, to send her a Letter by a friend, not so much for the matter there in set down, as that y● might be a mean to entice her to be spoken with, which indeed proved to some purpose. For to the Messenger she came, and after notice given from whom the Letter was sent, gods Lord (quoth she) did not my friend give him his answer? No, replied the Messenger, for he craves no more by this Letter. Surely (quoth she) I thank him for his good will, but I am not minded that way. What way (replied he) not to marry? Yes said she, but not with one so young. Now you shall understand her simple excuse, cleanly made, for in a man's judgement it would not be thought there was much difference between their ages. And as it was gathered after, she meant one way, and the Messenger took it an other, for she meant young in substance, though he understood it for years: as after further talk she plainly expressed. What shall Honesty say more of her? in sooth nothing but to pray either for the amendment of her and her companions, or else that this punishment may be inflicted upon them: that is to say, that they may be so haunted until they deal better, as they may not peep forth of their houses, without as much wondermen as the Owl hath that flieth in the day time. And do they deserve less, that make fools? it hath been a fusty saying, Qui moccat moccabitur, and until that prove true by practice, as i● falls out true often unlookte for, we that are to speed shall never find better. If all men will agree to Honesty, we will keep a Chronicle of such wenches, myself will be speak the registreship, and though it be no great office, yet it may do much good. But now to a fourth kind.  
Which were a thrise-made, not a threadbare Widower, and a five times left Widow, both of them being so much in Fortune's books, as they were endowed with the thousands. They soon agreed upon the matter, and within a short time were married, unto whose house having heard them boast of their substance, I often resorted to see what good cheer they kept, I was twice there together in Christmas time, but never could see hot meat, yet good store of cold by reason they had had four days before many guests. But since the holy days hoping for better fare, I found him and she set at a couple of red. Herring, & a slice of barrel butter, cold fare as I thought for a tuesday supper. Alas how were the servants dieted, when they had no better? I would have thought the fault to have been in her, until she said unto me, that she was sorry she had no better fare for Honesty; when the old Churl replied, hold thee content wife, he is welcome, I thank God I have this for him. I thank your worship said I, though I thought, I beshrew the churls heart. But there of force must I lodge too, for that I had over far home, and he that had fed me so hungerly, had found talk enough to keep me with him till midnight. I must confess I lay better than I had supped, lodged in the next Chamber to themselves, there being nothing but a thin wall between us. After my first sleep I heard them two very loud, and though I did not greatly desire to be a partaker of their secret, yet I could not choose unless I had been either naturally or artificially deaf. They were at so hot words, as he cried, out upon thee old beggarly whore, with other most shameful terms, she thereby being forced thus to complain. Alas that ever I was borne to see your face, I was no beggar when I met with ●ou, for I brought with me as good as twenty thousand pounds, which now being at your disposition, you deal thus crabbedly with me, meeting together in respect but yesterday: what hope resteth to me of the end, seeing the beginning is so bad? you diet me with hardmeat, and cheer me with crabbed usage, I can neither have a penny in my purse, nor a good shoe to my foot. I grieve to hear my servants repine thereat, though I cannot amend it, and for that I tell you of it which may redress it, thus you revile me. Hold thy peace old whore (quoth he) or I will make thee, if they like it not, let them mend theirselves, and either charm your tongue or I will clapperclaw your bones: with which cooling card, she was glad to be quiet, as I guess, for I could bear no more of her at that time.  
Now Honesty having leisure to think of what he had heard, still harped of the twenty thousand pounds, which as I thought, was meeter to have made a King, then to have pleased a churl, with that I condemned his cruelty, and pitied her chance, so long thinking on her hard fortune, as I fell a sleep, taking up the remnant of my morning's nap. Well, before I rose my old carl was up, and before I was ready gone ahroad, when suddenly coming forth of my lodging, forced to pass through his Chamber, I found the good old woman shedding tears so abundantly, as I could not but grieve for company. But seeing me, she roused up herself and would have shadowed her discontent, yet at last assured I had heard the ●arre, she said she was sorry I had been disquieted, the which I excused, saying, I was more grieved for her then for my disquieting, for had that been the worst, Honesty hath been far worse troubled. Ah good sir (quoth she) this is their fortune that are covetous, for I had enough left me to have lived like a woman, if I could have been so contented: but aiming at dignity hath been my destruction, and longing after promotion hath brought me to this misery: my last Husband was accounted a good householder, and companion to the best in the parish, but he being gone, and my hope to become a Lady, hath led me to this ill bargain. Ah gentle Honesty, I was no mean woman when I met with him, but he thinks, for that I have turned my Cloth to silk, he hath made me happy. How happy had I been, if I had never seen him, but too late it is to wish, and folly to complain, for that it was my own choice that hath matched myself with such a churl. He clothes me in gay coats for his own credit, but with them cloys me with multitudes of discontentments: abroad he is gone, and perchance I shall not see him till bed time, nor are such tricks played seldom, when he leaves nothing, what need soever we should have of any thing, but what the household provision is, the best being no better than your yesternights far. If he brings any body home with him, we must run to the Cooks to save firing, nor can a bit of bread be eaten without an account given to him, he searcheth every corner, ● chides for every candle's end he finds misplaced, and if perchance he hap on a crust, he will make as much stir as if it were the loss of a Cow: he will pry into the grease pot, and hunt after the Tap droppings, to be brief, the cream pot should be overlooked by him every day once at the least, and his firing surveyed as often, a Chief cannot be cut without his leave, nor a stick be burned without grudging. Nor do I so much grieve at this in respect of myself, as for that my servants want their due, their want being more irksome unto me, than this scant: for what will they let to report, and who can blame them? or who will stay in such an house, and not without reason? so that daily discredit is heaped on us and continual care for looking after new servants never from us. This is my greatest heart break, and my suit to have this redressed is our only breake-peace. He sums when I inform him of what I have heard, and stamps when I tell him it is not well, nor will I tell thee all, for that this is too much, nor shouldst thou have known of thus much for me, except his crabbedness had made the path. But hark he is come in, for the passion of God hide thyself, for if he should know thou wert not gone, he will mistrust us, and smart I shall for us both.  
Now the Devil break his neck, or God amend him, thought I, yet for fear of her harm I was content to be locked up by her into a closet, where I was constrained to stay while the teeth chattered in my head, before we could be rid of him. W●ll, at last by good fortune a companion of his fetched him forth to dinner, who being gone, I was let forth, an extraordinary fire being made for my welcome down; & to make me a mends, she had sent a bracelet she had, of which he knew not, to pawn, providing so good fare for my Dinner, as I was not at better all the Christmas. But while we were eating of it, our mirth could not be much, her fear was so great of his coming home, but we making as quick speed as our teeth would let us, after we had done I thanked her, taking my leave and departing. Well, my back was scarce turned, when she bid her men and maids to bestir them that the kitchen might be dressed up and the remnant of our Christmas fire to be quenched and cast into the privy, lest his search should find out the brands, and that breed no little disquietness to them all. Alas poor wretch thought I, how many servants are there which live at more ease and stand in less awe than thou dost? Is this a wives protion? doubtless no, but a just plague for covetousness, for they which cannot use a benefit when they have it to a good purpose, shall want it when they would, and seek it when they cannot find it. Covetousness shall not escape hell, for how far I pray you was she from it? her good days died with her matching with him, and if there be any purgatory between us and hell, she was in it, and thereby at the next door to that dungeon. I would but all covetous minds were plagued but with a dram of the like discontent, I would have theirs but a seaven-nights punishment, whereas she must endure peradventure seven years torment. Honesty thinks such a mess of misery would bring them to a banquet of happiness at their delivery from that wretchedness. If many of our coy dames that cannot be content with any thing, and are so curious, as daily dainties seem nothing unto them, were but pinched a while with her morsels, I am persuaded it would save their husbands a great deal of charges in their diet thence after, and would make their servants much happier, by being freed from much needless labour. Their houses would be pulled down, and the delight of their curious poked ruffs would be set aside, they would not respect the superfluous dishes they use, nor regard their superstitious curiosity in rubbing y●●●owres of their houses: what should I say more? they would use obedience towards their Husbands more, and brawling with their servants less, they would think of their own happy lives & pity others; they would seek to please, and be more easily pleased; they would live contentedly, and be thankful for so great prosperity.  
The fish that hath b●●ne stricken with the hook, fears the bait; the child that hath burnt his fingers, dreads the candle; the horse that hath been punished with the spur, suspects the wagging of the heel, and the apprehended thief, gins to think on the halter. What delight brings sweet things unto them that never tasted of sharp sauce? or what an indifferent opinion carry they of prosperity, that have never been in misery? The unridden Colt bites the snaffle while the old horse is glad to play with the bit, and they that are used to shackles, wear them without much annoyance: for that it is use that gets experience, and experience that brings profit. When a cursed Cow hath short horns, harm is less suspected, and if a crabbed cur be muzzled there can be no danger. There are both baits to entice, and bobs to make to forbear: allurements to win, and corrections to drive away; and he that thought this to be needful, knows best to use it, which happens always to unbridled novices: once good speed eggs us to a second adventure, and if twice a thief hath escaped the halter, he will never leave until he purchase tiborne. My last Husband was so good, makes some so desirous of a second, as their hasty bargain brings over late repentance. Like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier, and some will never be satisfied until their mouths be filled with Clay. He that hath enough seeks for more, and so I carry a great countenance I care not how I am beloved. Indeed what cannot money do that will buy any thing, and yet honesty will purchase that which all the muck in the world cannot compass, namely a good report for ever. Who knows not that the covetons man cannot line quietly, and why will we not know that the aspiring mind shall be brought low? The love of your wealth is in your own hands, but the key of your wits kept by a higher guide. You may choose a rich man and hunt after an honest (yet riches and honesty go seldom together) but to say it shall be for your weal must crave another's leave. He that gives all things can give thee both, and if thou wilt taste of his liberality, built on his charity, suspect not and speed well, fear and speed ill, let therefore all thy care be built on his kindness, and thou wilt be better contented with a kind beggar then a crabbed churl. To take heed by another man's ham is a loving warning, but if thou wilt needs try, take the hazard. When our neighbour's house is on s●er, we have need to bestir us, and he that sits still at such an e●tremetie, is worthy to taste of the like misery. To look ere we leap is good counsel, yet to look heartily and leap faintly, makes many to fall into a ditch dangerously, well a word to a wise man is enough, and there are few women but have store of wit, if they add discretion unto it. Honesty therefore wishes them to use it so well as they never speed ill.  
A sift forte now followeth, which was a couple standing in the midst of the company, both of them being of equal years. He was a young civil gentleman, no less proper than he seemed wise, his discreet government beautifying both; but she, though she had wit all will and was very proper, yet lacked she the other step to wisdom, namely discreetenes in her behaviour. Her immodest fondness gave suspect of uncivil lightness, so that her overforwardnes seemed to overlay her lovers affection. She would hang about his neck before all that company, as a jack of Napes doth sitting on the bear herds shoulder, and kiss as openly as a dog scombers carelessly. She followed him at heels like a tantinie pig, and hung about him as if pinned to his slieve. He could not stir without her company, nor scarce go to make water, but she would await on him. Thus much did she not let to do openly, and therefore I had the more desire to see how she spent her time secretly: which was as contrary as might be, for whereas she would be mad merry in his company, in his absence she would be as mad melancholy. She than would sit in a corner, as a dog doth that is crept into a hole, having done a shroud turn, wetting her couch with tears for the lack of her sweet heart, as a child doth the bed for want of a chamber-pot. But being in a good vain, she would pen passionate sonnets, and in that humour did I once take her when she had newly finished this amorous ditty.  

SAd is the time while my dear love is absent:  
Else wail my miss and tongue bewails him wanting:  
Heart bleedeth tears that do increase my torment,  
And yields forth sighs which set itself a panting,  
While he is absent, such is my delight  
As is the sailors in a stormy night.   

If I chance sing, with sighs my songs be graced,  
And in my tunes my groans my baces be:  
Grievous complaints are for the trebles placed:  
The means be tears, the tenor misery.  
Four parts I bear and want the fift alone,  
Which is my joy that with my love is gone.   

When I should speak, my tongue forgets it talking:  
When I should write, my fingers are b●nommed:  
When I should go, my feet have lost their walking,  
And every part is dead of sense bereaved.  
Nor can I tell what is the cause of this,  
Except because my heart with him gone is.   

Thus days are nights to me while he is wanting,  
And merriest songs are plaints for joy departed:  
My mirth is moan, my sorrow succour wanting,  
And senses gone my body have unharted.  
So that I live alive as being dead,  
And by his absence sole, this death is bread.   
After the self-same order spends she her well spent time, yielding such bitter sighs, while she is setting down the like passions as a horse doth hearty neeses, that is troubled with an extreme cold. Then pausing a while on that she hath done, weighing the estate of her lamentable case, she casts herself upon her bed, b●ea●hing against the fates the rancour of her heart after 〈◊〉 ●anner. Unjust and cruel sisters, that have prol●ng●● my days to endure this misery; is this the force of your decree, to decrease my joy by increasing my d●yes? Have you drawn to this length the thread of ●● life, now to cut the same with so sharp an edge-tool? Cruel and unkind are ye so crabbedly to deal with a poor virgin, suffering me to live to endure this cruelty. There making a full point, would she lie gasping as if she were giving up the Ghost, till at length having gathered wind, she would thus begin to murmur against Fortune. Unconstant dame, so much delighting in mutability, as all thy joy is to alter chances. How wavering is thy wheel, and how uncertain thy favours, the one still turning, and the other never remaining long where so ere they are bestowed? Was this the pity of your heart, to set down so unmerciful a doom, as I should always rest unhappy? You whirl your wheel about to please yourself with the turning, tossing thereby unto me one misery upon another: then casing me of that burden, to make the next seem more displeasing unto me, thou shows me my heart's joy, and sets me on the top of delight to behold the difference between weal and woe. But from thence thou throwest me as quickly down, as I was joyfully seated, letting thy wheel rest as overlong, while I lie in the dungeon of unceasing pain, as it did too too little stay at the height of my pleasure. Thou gives me kind words, and cruel fare, happy sights and horrible heart-akes, thou shows me rest and sees me with trouble, setting me at the table of daiuties, yet binding my hands lest I should touch them, so far am I from tasting of their sweetness. Unkind and unconstant fortune, what chance had m●nkinde to be charmed to thy beck, and wherein are we more unfortunate, then in being forced to obey fortune? To which interrogation, herself would answer with a flat mad fit, cursing her parents that begot her, her birth day wherein she was brought forth, the nurse that gave her suck, the cradle that lulled her a sleep, death for that he ended not her days, and herself for that she was. Now tearde she her hair from her head, anon she unapparelled herself to her smock, then like a spirit would she dance the Morris about the chamber, and soon sossing herself down by the fires side, sit no les senseless than her actions had been witless, a long time resting as in a trance. But at last as overlate coming to herself, she would, looking on herself, seem to be afraid of herself, sorrowful to see the fruit of her forsaken reason, and rising would soon make her ready. Being ready she fell upon her knees, crying the God's mercy, and pouring forth abundance of tears, in token of her penitency. And after that being indeed in her rightest mind: she took her lute singing to her singering this sonnet.  

WHat booteth love, that liking wants his joy?  
Grievous that joy which lacks his hearts-content:  
The sight of sweet in tasting of annoy  
Adds but more grief to former hearts-torment.   

What sweet in love to live debarred of love?  
Sour is that sweet as honey mixed with gall:  
Love with unrest the heart to passions move  
That sighing sing, and singing sigh withal.   

While eyes behold the pleasure of my heart  
Heart joys through eyes in gaining of that sight:  
But when that pleasure from mine eyes doth part  
Heart parts with joy and rests in heavy plight.   

And tongue may sing a hei ho for my heart  
That through mine eyes doth find both joy and smart.   
Which music would be so metamorphosed, as in truth her singing would turn to sighing, and her playing to complaining, when in a rage she would throw her lute down, beginning to dilate on her loves unkindness, that could be so cruel to stay four and twenty hours from her. Now found she fault with herself for being so fond on him that forbeared so carelessly her company, and by and by in a great rage swearing to forsake him, she settled herself to frame a railing letter for a last farewell. But before she had scarce written an unkind word, she pausedon the matter, casting both pen ink and paper from her, yet upon her second advice about she goes with a fresh charge to pen a crabbed charm, and had gone so far as she had set down, Fie unkind wretch. And there again in a doubt of going forward or leaving the rest undone, she gnawed so long upon her pen in studying what to do as she had eaten it almost quite up. But at last with a resolution she played the woman, falling into so kind a vain of scolding, as she had charged him with a thousand discourtesies for missing one nights resort unto her. And as she was concluding her colour with a protestation, never to desire to see his face again, in came one of her sisters with news that Master Anthony was below. Which so quite purged her of her melancholy, as in a rage she rend the paper, and cast all her anger with it into the fire, posting with such haste to her swéete-heart, as in stead of running down she tumbled down a whole pair of stairs. Which bad beginning was carelessly put over with the conceived joy of his presence, she entertaining him with a kiss, for that he was not forward enough, to bestow on her the like favour. But ere long, she began to perceive that Master Anthony was changed, being nothing so frolic of his kindness as he had been, and it was no marvel. For some report of her fore-used fondness was come to his ears, that being no small frost to my his former affection; so that his only coming was to make that conclusion she was of late imagining, soon finishing in wise and discreet terms that her suspect was penning. Upon whose departure, with the pawn left of his resolution, my minion fell into a sound, there being such a stir for her recovery, as what for running for aqua vitae, posting for ale, plying warm clothes and such like, there was no less rule than is in a tavern of great resort. Here forsooth, saith she that had the aqua come quickly, By and by answered she, being called that went for the ale, the rest no otherwise replying to every question and command. Well at length life was got in her, though no words could be drawn from her, but being got to bed, she song ere long like a bird of Bedlam.  
In which fit I left her, more pitying her peevishness then her passions, the rather less regarding either for that I knew that violent fit would not stay long. But to tell you what Honesty thought all this while, for I know that is your longing, and if you be shrew any body, blame her for not letting you have your will sooner, by keeping me so long there against my will. For unwilling I was to stay there so long, and as loath to leave her before she had left at a full point. That you might know all was my wish, and since I have mine now, you shall not be long without your wil She never sighed heartily, but I laughed as merely, being as often ready to piss my breach for joy, as she was to shed tears, which came from her as had at commandment. And wherefore was Honesty thus uncharitable think you, rejoicing at his neighbour's misery? Surely because herself was so foolish to be so disquietly moved with nutshells: would it not have made a horse break his halter, to see her mumble to herself as an ape mows at his own shadow. Doubtless, may I speak it without the suspect of arrogancy, Honesty hath as much hold of his civility, as a mare hath of her honesty, and yet I might as well be hanged, as be kept from being merry when she mourned. A chameleon cannot change herself into more kind of colours than she would use change of motions. Sometimes she would walk with her hands clasped and her eyes cast up to heaven, as if she were sent for, with all speed to render an account of her passions. Anon she would run about the chamber like a hare that had lost her way: then by and by would she howl like a kind dog that had lost her master. After that grin like a Monkey that sees her dinner, and ere long be as dead as a door nail, lying by the fire side as a block doth at the back of a chimney. And this last simile proves not worst, for she burned no less through the cinders of too kind affection, than the log doth with the help of charke-coles.  
Was not this a monstrous fit, that had so many motions? Why if Honesty should tell you how she would sometimes bite of her own nails, knocking the wall with her feet, praunsing on the ground, and leaping of and on the bed, you would think he had to do with an unruly jade. Fie no she was a mankind creature, and I would not offend them for a kingdom: but this Honesty is such a pestilent spie-fault, as he cannot see a wench out-start the bounds of modesty, but strait he hollows the sight of a striker, thinking it unpossible that if she want maidenly behaviour she can have womanly honesty. Well I know some will say he is a pick thank, but were not they shonne-thankes they would speak better of Honesty's son. But thus much for Honesty's credit, and now again to my cract-love, that had crauled so far into affections extremity, as she had lost the habit of her customers courtesy. I went once more of devotion to see her, because I left her in so extreme an agony: and it was within two days after. Whom then I found clasped within a new lovers paws, as jocund with him of mine honesty, as ever I saw her pleasant with Master Anthony. And what thought Honesty then think you? in faith no otherwise then I am assured you do now. I thought upon such fondness, the prover be was builded, hot love will be soon cold, but enough of that in another place, and thus much more of her at this time.  
She was as glad I warrant you of a lover, as a wearied ●ade is of a fair way, and he being tired is not more glad of a stable, than she was desirous of a babel: it is only, for rhyme at this instant, and therefore let it pass (I pray you) with your favour; but whether it doth or no, I beshrew my name if I get any blame. For my tongue will not amble out of the truth, though I should dig out my guts with the Spur, Beware lest you offend. There is one still at mine elbow, and says I must take heed how I dissemble, since Honesty is become a deity. I would I were not, or went not so unvisible, for than I should not crawl so easily into maidens chambers, and hear them boast of so many favours bestowed by them on this day, so many kisses given to one, another unloosing her garter, yea and she thought he went not high enough. Well but that I am merciful, and will not name you that are so immodest as to boast of such lightness, for if I should, I should quite fray away many of M. Anthony's companions, from bestowing them affections on so liberal whipsters. But I say no more for shame, hoping I shall have no cause to speak of the like again, you will become so civil, then thus much for you, and now to another.  
This way a coy dame whose nice strangeness moved me not to the least admiration: she stood just at the door, to whom not so few as twenty had in my vein made suit. They were of sundry sciences, and of all degrees that had took the denial of her, which made me the rather to admire the cause, and to obtain my longing, I lodged my self that night under her bed. When she was laid, and one of her mother's maids with her, she began thus to parley. Wots you what Nan (quoth she) how many suitors thinks thou have I sent packing to day? Not so many (answered the maid) as you did the last time you were there. Yes faith girl double (replied she.) And found you so many faults in these (quoth Nan) as you did in the other? Nay I trow wench (answered she) I let not them pass in whom I discover not many over-stippes. And what were their faults I pray you, quoth the girl? Some of them had store of wealth (answered she) but little honesty, other were honest enough, but too too hard favoured; some had good faces, and b●d bodies; other being proper, had crabbed countenances, some were amiable for favour, perfect of body, yet ill legged; other which were well legde, shalled with their feet or were splafooted; and to b● brief, they that trod right were either clouterly caulfed, tree like set, spindle shankte, or bakerly knéed; only there were two tightly shaped, whereof one was too tall, and the other too too low. Thus much for their parts, and now to their properties.  
They that were wealthy were meanly qualitied, and they that had many good properties were moniles: some had good tongues and spoke well, having as ill gestures, others were rich and seemed wise, those I suspected to be wenchers. And to make as short work in telling thee of them, as I made speedy haste in sending them packing; either I misliked their estates, scorned their personages, loathed their want of qualities, or could not away with their kind of wooing. But shall I be so bold (quoth Nan) to ask you one more question? I twenty and thou wilt, for in faith I have no list to sleep. In sooth forsooth, then (quoth the girl) what manner of man shall he be, with whom you will match? Marry such a one (answered she) as shallbe the only matchless creature in the world. But how will you meet with him replied Nan? As he shall light upon me by Fortune. But Fortune is blind (quoth the wench) and may lead him to another in stead of you. Yet as she is blind (replied the other) so is she a Goddess a good supporter of my chances, and I know my report is set so near her elbow, as she cannot forget me if s●● would.  
I marry sirs you talk of a wench, and what w●s this of a proud one? is it not great pity but nature should have compassion on this neat creature, and shape for her a mirror of mean worth? Now of my troth Honesty likes such an one, and why think you? I will tell you my reason, and if it jumps with your conceit, say you met with a kill crow. I am assured that they that are of my mind shall escape a great deal of trouble, for of mine honesty, if I should light on such an one, I know certainly I should be quickly rid of a near nushap, in being prevented of matching with a nice ninnte, by a nice body: for not being the paragon of the world, would keep me from marrying with the only paltry one of the world: whether then think you such to be profitable members of a common wealth? Howsoever you think, Honesty hath said, he thinks them hurtful to none that escape them, for that their folly one●y hurts themselves, doing good to others, in the like manner as he hath told you. Trot you and you will to try your Fortune, and run to woo such curious customers, but say I bid you take heed, lest you resist good luck, by being importunate to woo them, with whom you shall win a mass of manner-les Monkish tricks. And I speak especially to you, that hunt after monsters of modesty, desiring to have the maidens you would match with, as very matrons as your mothers. Beware you light not upon an over wearied conceited sollom-bird, being one that hath been so curious to be talked with of any as having lived over long without one, is become glad of any. Honesty knows such, and you may be troubled with such, and how can you think yourselves unworthy? In faith ill conceited birds, if you think yourselves so unwise, as you are unable to govern a wild wench, you will show yourselves more foolish, if you match with a nice no-maide. But what said Honesty? be there any such? I that there are, ordained for the nonce, to nurture such noddies. It is as easy to be misled by hypocrisy, as it is folly to trust to an uncertainty, and it is more uncertain to know now a days whether a woman be honestly modest, or knavishly coy, then whether a Smithféelde horse will prove good, or jadish.  
See how I have a tale by the end of a ninny of my now handled maidens quality, which was a Miser's Daughter in the low Countries. Who was so proper a piece of flesh, as I can tell you we have not many Oyster women that out goes her in hook shoulders. By report she was a lovely one, but that she was monstrous blobber lipped, and stooped somewhat unreasonably in the upper part of her backside, but that is no matter, her father was richer than most in that Country, and why should not she think herself the properest of a thousand? of Honesty's word so by likelihood she did, and if you say not so anon, then say I have heard a lie. She thought herself so proper, as none under a Burges his eldest Son might sue unto her, and he too to be no faulty gallant; for he with all comers should be so surely sifted by her, to see whether they trod their shoes aw●y or no, as the Miller doth the grist before he mingles chalk amongst it. She would have a fling at their heads, to see whether they were round like a ball, or long like a bottle, and so from every part, till she were past the undermost part of their Pantoples. And in all of them she would be sure to find some fault or other, the least being a sufficient cause to cut off their proceedings. Thus dealt she so long, as at last her doltish age was unawares come upon her, making her fusty curiosity a shameful mockery throughout the Country; so that the general report of her bruited ignominy made her grow glad of any company: and now feign would she b● married, though loath to increase her shame by matching with far worse than she had refused being offered, and therefore thinking to hinder the make-spéede of murmured ignominy, with a crafty colour of a continuing care to couple herself to one of Fortune's darlings, she concluded there should be a Lottery, and whose chance it was to be drawn by her should only possess her withered self. You must think that many were glad to win her, for whom almost will not wealth woo to a bad bargain? My story reports that of all sorts, some for pastime and others for profit, ●ut their scrolls into fortune's budget, and on the day when my minion's draft should be manifested, who should have her by lot, but such an one as Tom-witles is, that will cry if one offer to take away his babble.  
A suitable mate for so long a search; there was but one grand fool in a Country, and see how Fortune had kept her for him. Now such chance follow like curious coy wenches, and may never wiser persons match with them. And are they not think you the meetest for them? For they desire to have them, that have the smallest faults, and Honesty thinks it the least fault in a man to be a fool. Who is more proud than a fool, and what woman more coy for the most part than she that hath least reason for it? The Crow likes her own bird best, though it be the blackest, and would not we have women think well of themselves? I pray you let them have their wills, or they will whether you will or no; and if you like them not you may leave them, and with as good reason as they will be sure to deal so with you, unless you highly please them. The Ass hath a curious eye, and the makes his pace so slow; for short legs will trip at every stone, and what, she is not afraid to fall on a stone? And reason too, but they will never be happy, until Tom fool and his fellows be banished for throwing stones at them which often hurt their bellies, whereas their falling breaks but their knees. Alas poor asses that your eyes cannot keep you from burdens, as they make you over-leape often unknown diamonds. But what are more precious than pleasing thoughts, and what fancies are more full of pleasure then those that most extol ourselves. This arrogancy is an infectious pestilence; for we get pride one from an other, as we purchase the plague in a mortality. But once more return we to the merry talk of our coy Maiden.  
After a long progress passed in description of the sweet heart she would have, being such an exquisite proper qualitied Squire, as is scarce one in a whole Country, y● maid cell with her to this point: Now of my troth (quoth she) by your leave I am not of your mind, for such a matchless fellow is as meet a bait to entice many women to do his wife wrong, as a fair woman shall have suitors to do her Husband a shrewd turn. And therefore as I would not wish to be matched with such a crabbed piece of flesh as none can fancy, so desire not I to hold a mark for every one to shoot at, the rather for that there are few men which will refuse a kind offer. Beware when the woman woos, if she be perceived to be forward to some dispositions, she shall not want the offering of a bob: so that the bobbing babble shall bob the fool with her own curious choice. Which knavish quip did so nip my Mistress Daughter on the head, as in troth she left arguing and fell hard to scolding.  
This is bobbing with a witness thought Honesty, but surely it were pity it should not be true in some cases, and in those only would I wish it true, that strive so far to outgo their fellows in superexcellent objects.  
Beware the Fox that hath the smoothest skin, it is sign his coat is old, and his wit not young, he will be sure of a goose in store, when many of his neighbours shall want one. I know some, about whom Nature hath bestowed so long time in shaping fair faces with proper bodies, as she hath at last for haste been constrained to let them pass with unperfect hearts. She must perform her stint, and a time is limited her to fashion every child; by reason then they must have the purest hearts, that have the unlikest shapes. I know what you will say, and thereby will only seem to gainsay Honesty, for that it is a Proverb, Crooked without, and crabbed within. Of tr●th I must confess, that it is very likely, though not always true, (for no workman but hath sometimes a mischance happen to his most curious work, after the finishing thereof, either by a fall or such like casual chance) that a halting body hath a dissembling heart, and a misshapen creature a crabbed disposition, and we do find it commonly, that under foulest aspects are hidden the fairest hearts, though I know women account black things to be of least worth. But search again and look what dye is more perfect, or what will take soil sooner than the milklike white? well, the maiden's proposition pleased Honesty overwell, as you may guess by my long stay upon it, but I will assure you it displeased no les my young mistress. Alas it is a little thing that will not displease them whom nothing can please, and shall we think a wench could possibly please her long, unto whom so many men were disliking? Now surely he shall have a new account, that reckons on less than this: namely, that his matching with such a minion, which was so curious to be pleased, will crave as great care to be kept pleased, as a jade will require art to be kept from tiring. Nor do I say she will be tired, I would rather be driven to affirm he shallbe jaded, though with such an one as will never be tired.  
But let such as my Mistress Many-mislike is, take heed least by their coy kindness, they kill their hearts whom they would gladly save after, with all their art, and cannot. How easy is it to put that away with our little singer, which we would willingly recover again with both our hands? I have known some Faulkoners that have been so curious in dieting their Hawks, as a nice courtesan is of her fare, and yet sometimes they have searched a whole day after the kill of a carrion crow, and missed of it too. The fair lasts not always, and such as lightly regard a good bargain when it is proffered, may try the market a twelve month after and miss of the like offer. The rolling stone gathers no moss, nor the running fancy is worth the catching. They shallbe sure to meet with a fickle heart, that match with such a wavering love, and an unconstant affection is better lost then found. And for that I am entered into the path of unconstancy, I will come to a seventh enemy, which a couple harboured that stood behind the door.  
He was a Apprentice that had four years to serve, which I certainly understood afterwards, though at that instant I geste no less by his fearfulness to be seen: well, these had so wooed and won the one the other, as sure they were, having remained so by the space of three years: yet now there was dislike grown between them, first springing from the woman that was discontented that she had already lost so much time, being yet bound to endure a longer stay. Who knows not the certainty of her presumption confirmed by an order of the City of London, (which is, that if any man standing bound for the serving of years, entangle himself and marry before the term of his years ended, he shall double his prenticeship) and therefore must she either outstay them, or bind him by the hasty match to seven years more service. Upon this inconvenience mislike harboured in her bosom, having tied that with her tongue which she could not lose with her hands; so that mad melancholy she was for the match made by herself, that took so small delight therein.  
Now I would all might be served with the same sauce, thought Honesty, that so soon tying themselves, desire as soon to be loosed: and it is great marvel when it falls out otherwise, especially in these days, wherein constancy is made a hackney. Lingering love breeds mislike, and how can that love be faithful, that is fastened with so slender a thong. There is a thing which maintains the coherence of two hearts, which if it be long wanting, our love will prove but waterish affection: I mean that certainty of an everlasting happiness, with an assurance of a continual earthly pleasure. There comes many fair Horses into Smith field in a twelve month, which make many that are sped already, to wish themselves unprovided, to deal with them; for all men have not keeping for two Geldings. It is time that makes a jade known, and our knowledge the wishes him further from us. Many things must alter in seven years, for that wonders happen in a moment. In one day a beggar and a King are made equal, both the pomp of the one, and the poor estate of the other being buried in dust. Losses come soon unlooked for, and the worst bargains are gotten with the greatest search: need raiseth the market, and much inquiry after a commodity engenders suspect there is scarcity thereof. What cannot gold do, and may it not then easily convert a heart that longs after it? There are many enticing baits that change many minds, & who will not strive for the golden Apple? only except those that know they cannot get it, though they are deserving thereof, which impossibility must needs hatch misery. How be cormorants more plagued, then by a disappointment of their purpose? They that forestall markets, make often times but bad bargains, as well as the sluggard that comes a day after the Fair.  
Is it not folly to strive to keep a wet Eel by the tail? or what commodity ariseth, of holding the Devil by the great toe? the one is overquick, and the other wondrous strong: and in Honesty's judgement a known loss, the sooner it comes the less it grieves, and better it is to be without company, then to be matched with an enemy. Slippery ware is not the best Merchandise, and what requires more care, than Glass that is most brittle? I know you will say a woman's heart is as tender, and that I think no less. Then since we must hazard our welfare, that are constrained to deal with such pure metal, being tied to that traffic, let us not bestow all our hope on a piece we know must stay so long by us, before we can make profit thereof. Honesty is rather a professed solicitor for a woman, than a counsellor to a man: but for that both men and women are troubled with the like diseases, let them use my plaster that like best of my knowledge. Where love strikes the bargain, their liking cannot start back, but unless he be bound by his agreement, affection is a fickle fellow. What surer covenant than settled love? But they which respect not their word, will hardly regard an oath. Honesty is all, for he is the father of constancy, and a fig for that love which must be tied by the law. If we foster a snake she will sting us by the bosom, and he that sues for an enemy, is worthy to have his pate broken with want of honesty. A tedious suit makes rich lawyers and lieging clients, and a desire to have all, makes us often to lose all.  
I have heard of a Gentleman, that tied himself to a poor maid after the manner aforesaid, meaning to marry with her after the death of his father, for that he durst not do it while he lived. He maintained her passing bravely, running himself greatly into debt, through the large expenses she lashed out. Which curious and rich setting forth, made many to look after her, which otherwise would not have thought on her. A blazing star presages alteration, as the Astronomers hold it, and doubtless a proper woman gaily appareled, breeds miracles in men's minds. A prancing horse moves wondering, when a sure nag only pleaseth the rider; so while she lived according to her birth, few or none regarded her, but now set forth as ready for sale, her gallantness engendered thoughts of some great portion, to be fallen by an unlooked for accident. Nor will friends let to speak, to make a friend speed well, and hire of the same mind gave forth, that it was so indeed; upon which report many wooers were drawn to try their fortunes, and amongst them a rich farmers some set in his foot to hazard his hap. Whom her parents and friends so well liked, being his father's only child, as they began to persuade their daughter to take it while it were offered after this manner. Tut wench (quoth they) while the grass grows the steed starves, and as soon goes the young steer, as the old ore to the market. Young heads are fickle, and suppose he should play false, how should we remedy it? Gold bies law now a days, and may not a bribe eat up a sure title, as we have heard a fat hog did a poor man's glass of oil? He that can give most shall be sure to speed best, and you know daughter, your father is not able to wage law against so rich an enemy. Why woman, you have not seen him this fortnight, and how know we but he hath a wife in a corner? By our Lady girl, such windefalles happen not often, as is this day put into your mouth. By cock and pie do as you will, but if you do refuse this proffer, we will deny you our blessing. Which counsel struck so deep into her conscience, as it sent packing all the affection her protested loyalty had promised, and turned it so to the farmer's son, as in short time he married with her.  
By that time as my minion had been married three or four days, thither comes posting my out-jointed Gentleman, of whose stark staring mad discontentment upon the hearing of his willow gift, Honesty lists not to stand, since you can imagine it was great, but what remedy? What wise man would sue for a falsehearted beggar, or what gain should be got by the recovery of a broken pipkin? In seeking to have plagued her, he should have punished himself, adding but shame to the loss of a greater expense, and in the end recovered a flap with afore tale. Well I pity him because of his kindness which was so crossed, but if Honesty hears of any such kind asses hereafter, he will make as good sport thereat, as the boys do at the fool of a Morris. Are they not worthy to lie by the heels that purchase the counter-tenor with so plain a pricksong? I warrant you it pricked and pinched him too, but his father was the more ●illing to release him, for that he hoped that loss had gained him more wit. Honesty could tell you of a thousand that have been served after the same order, they having promised to stay one for another, some a year, others more or less, whereof some have had their hope sound within a fortnight of their day, and then thinking themselves nearest to have their wills, in come takers pu●●ing their noses quite besides the sweet sent of their forespoken bedfellows. This can be no small grief to a kind constant heart, that hath peradventure refused many good likely hoods to stay for such a light housewife. He that will think himself sure to a woman, or she that will build on a man's constancy, till the parish priest hath said God give ye joy, and the bride's bed hath borne it first night's w●ight, he is not of Honesty's mind, though I wish it were otherwise.  
It is as good to be assured of the borne, as to be made sure to an unconstant heart, for they that look for les shall be disappointed. God forbidden Honesty should say it were unpossible, that two may love constantly unmarried seven years, but he may above that two say, such are scarce found in seven ages. Walk but to Westminster, a place in faith where constancy is as little used, as wit in Bedlam, and yet there (I warrant you) you shall have your head filled with tales of unconstant lovers. Go likewise to Paul's (a path as well haunted with hunters of honesty, as Kemp's head is sometimes pestered with knavery) and blame Honesty if there you hear not outcries of wavering wenches. Long lanes and broad streets, little cottages and manner places, are at this day by report bolstered with nought so much as with unconstant minds. Whereby what through the sorrow, Constancies complaint moves and the grief honesties broken pate procures, it is great pity we should not have many knacks to know knaves by, and as many jigs to gird garish girls with. I petticoat lave, is a pocket full of new fashions, the drift whereof, is that first comers should be first served: but they mean no comers which enter not the placket. In Shooleane there is one that sells running leather, the virtue whereof is maintained with liquor of a careless heart, so that he or she that cannot play light of love, shall not be customed there. Withdraw yourselves to Crooked lane, and of Honesty's credit you shall find more traps to catch Rats and Mice there, then constant lovers in S●ordich Church at midnight.  
What shall I say? since the art of Coney-catching hath forestalled good invention: but fie on the devil that drives such wits to so bad a bargain, as to be forced to spend their time in no better studies. They have need of good intelligencers that shall intermeddle with tricks of Coningshifts: for mine own part, I had rather wade to the middle in loves whirlpool, then to the ankles in the brook of unconstancy. And yet force perforce, by loves appointment, I must have a fling at her followers. Let them fly to the gallows, for Honesty that loves her so well, and my fling will drive them to a worse place, unless they leave her. Up hill and down hill is a very troublesome labour, but up the ladder and down the rope ends many ones misery. What stéeper way than to the height of affection? and how many often post up and down between that and the valley Likings-recantation. I recant now a days follows loves heels like his shadow: it is a halting crackhalter, and a hurtful hinderlove, and best he shall be known by his stump foot. I mean not a mishapenledge, but a resting love, that either makes such a full point in the beginning, as he can go no further, or else stands at a stay two or three quarters, not knowing whether it were best to go forwards or backwards. Extremes are as dangerous as stretches: for as many joints are out-set or cracked by the one, so many uncurable hurts are received by the other. Honesty thinks a seven night's space is too short a time to fasten a true lovers knot, but he that out stays the month may learn as much in that time as is needful to be known. A longer time is pleasing to them that have bars to hinder their forwardness, but he that may go on without hindrances, if he aims at a longer respite, take it on Honesty's word, he works but upon advantage. They that build their affection upon reason, are like to remain most constant: for where a condition of profit binds the suitors, there a long day will not likely be broken. But this reason craves wisdom, the experience whereof must a wait on loves followers, the practice being nothing but this, a care in our choice to maintain the main chance. That is, that they which have little, do fancy none but such as have somewhat, and they that have nothing, either to match with such as have enough to serve themselves and others, or else to fit still in the chimney corner. All must measure their liking according to the depth of their desire, to the end they may live with contentment, which will (I warrant you) nourish constancy.  
Now followeth another sort, which are not the least enemies Love hath, being our common courting lads, who take such pleasure in their pregnant wits, and so great glory in their ready tongues, as a wench cannot peep forth the doors, but they must have a fling at her beauty. First comes, fair lady God save you, and then follows, that the sight of such a blazing Comet makes them stand at the gaze, for that such sights are seldom seen. After ensues their application, falling from the celestial creatures to their earthly Goddesses, extolling their beauties to such a height, as when they can go no further, having forgotten their way backwards, they fall down headlong, breaking the neck of Good reason. Then come they to the good parts of their bodies, and from thence to a supernatural view of their hidden virtues, building upon the proverb, A fair face cannot have a crabbed heart, though many of them find by experience, but crabbed entertainment to proceed from those their celestial objects: yet the most, what through their quick conceits, false protestations and usual resorting into their companies, bring many into such a fools paradise, as they harp on nothing but marriage. And marvel not, seeing we have many so forward wenches, that if a man look but earnestly upon them, they think verily, he is enamoured of their beauty: but shall he speak and say he loves them? my father, my mother and all my friends must be made privy to his proceedings, for I know he will have me.  
Alas light hearts that are lead away with every kind blast: know ye not that our age flows with fine wits, that must borrow their practice of such like patients? Do not many men cheapen that mean not to buy, & think you to want such customers? How many come into a Fair with never a farthing in their purses, and yet for fashion sake will ask the price of a costly piece of work? Our tongues stand us in little charges for reparations, and seeing they wear not, we will not spare to wag them. But this is best known to you women, whom nature binds to the greatest practice, having given you no other weapon; yet I may tell you, men cannot want that instrument, especially in their wooing matters. But did many of both kinds use it less, both you and they should speed never the worse, for you should miss of many fond faithless speeches, and they should march without as many kind hit home flouts. They should not playing with the fire, be burnt with the flame, and remain helpless through your careless pity: nor should you be entrapped in the snares of their smooth words, decreasing your glorious beauty by hopeless conceits of obtaining your withed happiness.  
Many honest minds taken at their words, are bound to bad bargains, when on the contrary part, a cracked credit regards neither his own reputation or another's welfare. How east is a free horse tired, a good edge-tool spoiled, and a kind heart surfeited? Adull jade will rather be spurred to death then break his pace: and with a bad knife we may assay to cut any thing, without doing it much harm, but woe be unto that heart, whose mildness makes itself subject to a counterfeit kindness. You shall sigh forth your sorrow, while they smile at their good success, they building their assurance of being no losers on your good dispositions, that serve for stables, to rest their hopes in: your good natures must be but rooms for hackneys that never know their masters, and your kind hearts to serve for mangers to feed their had conceits. Their trotting shall fasten to your heads ●eapes of proclamations, the clauses whereof shall breed thousand of doubted miseries and ten thousands of careful heartbreakings. Their counterfeit friendship shall hinder faithful and loving proceedings, hurting affection by hindering it from it desert, with keeping it from receiving the due of requital. That bootless constancy shall banish faithful loyalty by crabbed crosses, and purchase to itself, through a hapless conclusion a cart-load of careful extremities. True-meaning thereby shall be deceived on both sides, and kind-heartednes plagued with over-sureset affection. Love shall be banded away with the racket of dissinmlation, and beaten at last into the hazard Despair by his sporting enemy. What a great loss will follow such a chase, and how great expense of heart's grief, must ensue so shroud a game, guess you that lie condemned in the like charges? Only Honesty pities such a pastime that ends with so small pleasure, and will now come to give you warning of what he hath seen happen in the like cases of little conscience.  
There was one of this society that had so courted up a wench, as through a potion of pleasure he had given her, her belly rose like a blown bladder. Belly round she was, so that through his craft her credit stood upon cracking, which she perceiving entreated her physician, that as he had tasted of her courtesy, so he would save her honesty, declaring that she was with child as the truth was. Of my faith (quoth he) what care I? You might have took better heed, you are best to make haste and get a father for it. I hope (answered she) you will not serve me so: are these your fair promises, and can your vows be so slightly passed over? Have you not made love to me by the space of a quarter, being used kindly of me, and can you find in your heart thus cruelly to requite my extraordinary favour, putting me to shifts in this extremity? Is it possible your professed hot love should be so soon cold, or that your large promises should turn to so little performance▪ I cannot think you being a man can be so cruel, as to cast away a poor maiden. Away beast (quoth he) thy persuasions are as bootless as thy thoughts, and I am assured thou art not so foolish as to build of any thing I have said, or of that I have done but as of a jest, if thou dost, it will be a bad foundation, and with that he flung forth of the doors, leaving my maimed-maide in a bad taking.  
Do you term such doing jesting? thought Honesty, if Chaucer's japes were such jests, it was but bad sport; well a sport it was, though it proved a sure earnest, and who knows not that sweet meats crave sour sauce? Her laughing lye-downe, came to sad rising-up a shrewd sport to turn to such sorry pastime, and if such an earnest penny cannot bind a bargain, nought will hold the like chapmen but a halier. Now Tyburn and Wapping wait on such for Porters, as post to markets, so to jest with lac'st-mutton. If saying had been all, she had been foolish indeed to have regarded a fools speeches, but seeing he crept so far into credit with her, as he cracked her placket lace, how could he of conscience call that jesting? Doth Honesty talk of conscience to Bulls bailiffs, that have no care of any thing but to save their cassokes from being his purchase? Now fie of all the Beadles of Bridewell, if they spare such a sporter coming under their correction, without double the dole they punish one of Baal's common Priests with. I would their blue coats might fall to be hinds fees, unless they give such four lusty lashes at every kennel and streets corner they pass by. Why under the cloak of honest satisfaction, to allure an honest mind to lewd corruption, is no less theft than robbing of Churches, only the Clerks consent seems in the one to crave some toleration over it doth in the other. Then you will say they deserve both to be hanged, and so would Honesty say, but that their christianity merits charity. But of my troth if Honesty were a justice, such as sue after the self-same order, should either marry with them they have deceived, or hang without them, my minion going unpunished for that time in hope of amendment. Love is a kind heart, and marriage is a sweet baire what then will not such promises gain of a faithful lover? This jesting turns to lingeing love, when the weakest hath surfeited in affection. Sweet speeches have vowed everlasting constancy, and running in the pleasant meadow of kindness it grows lusty, spending the remnant of his wooing to win unto such bad fare: courting ends with such a charge, changing professed love into burning lust. love looks to be maintained with kindness, and when he hath got what words can afford, then falls he to jesting, which turns contrary to Chaucer's meaning, to the satisfying of a lechers lust in earnest. But too too much of this, except it were better, and once more return we to our mel●ncholly left mardemaide.  
She poor soul set so lightly by in her forty weeks reckoning, so thought on her present hard hap, as she quite forgot her account, whereby now she was in a worse taking then before: for if being put to her oath, she should miss of that, his counter oath would make but a so so end for her, and therefore thus she bestirred herself in the matter. She made her case known to a friend, and falling down upon her knees, entreated him for the passion of our Lady to stand good help unto her, to draw her mate to marry with her. Who being a very honest man that had some care of her credit, laboured so effectually in the matter, as what through promises and a piece of money, he made it a match, so that what through a little honesty my man was endued with, and a piece of money my maiden was endowed with, we had a choptlodgicke. Now woe unto such wooed spouses, if their mates want altogether honesty, and they have no money, and this might have perchance won the standing in a white sheet without so good a master. Take heed girls how you trust to such helps, for Honesty can tell you they are not ordinary. It is harder to find one such in every parish through a Country, then to find a honest woman in a house of Westminster's Hospitality. Alas how many honest men's children come to decay through this practice? Talk with any corrupted Virgin, and excepting one amongst twenty, if they all not agree that such enticements were the procurers of their misery, never believe Honesty for a halfpenny. Beware if a rich marriage be offered for a reward of breach of honesty, there are few that will not consent to lechery with such bribery.  
But the opening of an other wound remains, with which love is hurt by his courting enemies, for they which have been once deceived by flattery, will hardly be drawn to believe sincerity, whereby the faithful suitor is hindered from his due. The beaten dog shuns the stick, the tormented patient fears the Apothecary's drugs, the child that hath been sore whipped for a fault, will fear by offending to hazard his breach. Who is more wary of his welfare, than he that hath been in greatest extremity? and if love hath been wounded with a dissembled affection, he will be afraid to enter into an action from whence the like sorrow may flow. What gives greater hope of constanice, than vowed loyalty? or what seems sweeter than sugared flattery? Affection springeth of kind usage, and love settles on a continued show of professed zeal, which being sure set, cannot be removed without great danger, except wisdom be a helper. What sorrow danger brings, and what care discontentment harboureth he knows not? But of the unceasing harts-gréefe with the tormenting soure-sauce which seasoneth the destruction of entire affection, none can judge, save those that have tasted thereof: only it may be imagined by the effects that have followed the like causes (as by the untimely death it hath brought to some, a deprivation of their wits to others, languishing diseases to many, namely, the green sickness, the mother, and such like: and lastly, to all mad melancholy fits) that they which are favoured with the least mishap that comes through want of their longing, are rewarded with the loss of a present welfare, having that supplied by a gift of sighing heaviness. Now after the freedom from such a mischief, who will not swear to fly from the like danger? And since flattery cannot without dangerous trial be known from faithful friendship, who will not shun both, fearing to mistake the one for the other? If a kind heart hath been deceived by a crooked knave, clad in the robes of a courteous lover, she will ever after mistrust the habit, for that it is unpossible to know the heart. Who can forbid the Tailor to use his art? and do you think that any one for an advantage will let to try his craft? The Devil can change himself into any shape, and the only means to know him (as is said before) is his stump foot.  
Liking will not be long a doing, and love that follows is but little, whereby he brings no great harm, but all the mischief comes with desire, which swells the affections, and predominates over love and liking: he makes the misrule and keepeth the open Christmas, he desires the sport, and main●●ines the pastime, so that though he be long in coming, and stays but little in his Lordship, yet the remembrance of his jollity is not forgotten a long time after. He keeps his custom every year, and a year with him is but a short space, so that after he comes to his full age, he makes many Christmasses: for Desire is not short lived. It is therefore this lingering love that doth all the harm, because by him Desire is only begotten. He that beating the market is willing to buy, will not stand long a bargaining, when he hath met with his liking, for fear a francker customer step between him and his longing: but if he be careless, he will not deal without a good pennyworth. Very easily then is the mischief of repentance taken from women, seeing a true-meaning suitor may be as quickly discerned, as a careless chapman may be perceived. And how fond do they intrude themselves into the needles hazard of great discontent, that will let their love run so far without reason, as it cannot be called back without great grief at the least. Though a buyer be not able to give the seller his ask, yet will he be earnest to have it at such a price as he doth offer, and although this loving customer be not of ability to answer thy friends expectation, yet shall he not be forward to be possessed of thee? he is but a watcher for advantages. So that if either his ability be such as of himself he can maintain thee, or be thy possibility so great, as by his good endeavour he may win a living, thy friends good will by the possession of thee, thy affection is too too cold, if thou keeps him lingering without his longing, and his devotion is small, if he be not an unceasing suitor for it.  
And truly in Honesty's mind (and pardon me I pray you with whose conceits it jumps not) those matches shall prosper best, where lone is rather respected than wealth: provided there be a care had of the likelihood of possibility which must come with one of them. But shall one that hath nothing join loving issue with an other that hath or is like to have as little, he having no means to make a living, he shows himself to be afoolish follower of repentance, and an uncharitable procurer of an others wretchedness? There are many good wits, that wanting matter to work on, wade into the trial of dangerous conclusions, which otherwise being employed would become profitable members of a common wealth. All cannot be heirs, and many younger brothers children are but barely left, though they have had good bringing up, which nothing hinders their gentry, only now a days it is a bar to their preferment. For men will sooner match their daughters with my young master arich cobblers Son, though they be their heirs, then with a Gentleman of a good house being a younger Brother. Hereby comes the decay of a ancient gentility, and this the making of upstart houses; hereby those that have had good bringing up, must either go to plough and cart, being drudges to such drones, or their natures, disdaining that, and more abhorring to beg, lead them to lewd practices to maintain the state of their birth. And did you Fathers which are to match your Children, know the hart-breaking many parents (which have been of your minds) have found by trial, then would the fear of uncivil behaviour, which springeth by succession from their carterly progenitors, turn your greedy desire of golden gain to a joyful gaining of your posterities happiness.  
But fie of covetousness that is the root of all mischief: for men that have enough to make their Daughter's Gentlewomen, by matching them with houses of no small antiquity, will, with the desire they have thereunto, woo men of great living with large offers, to match their sons and heirs with them. Who being drawn thereunto, will use them their wives mée●●ly well during the life time of their own and wives Fathers, for that their estates are by their great portions better maintained, and their best friends thereby well pleased. But let your Daughters beware after your and their Father's death (when all hope is taken away of a further gain, and a search made of their ancestors alliance) for then seeing the baseness of your pettigrée, and the noble descents of their predecessors, that corruption of blood which you with your corruption of money hath made, and their Father's covetousness hath purchased to their succession, will (as for the most part it doth in the like cases) move such hartbreakinges, as either quarrels of divorcement or suits of separation will surely follow. When on the contrary part, if respecting gentry, thereby to advance your houses, you would match them with Gent. younger brothers (of whom there ought to be less regard, the chief house being maintained) your Daughter's portions, being the only maintenance of their estates, would be so strong a help to increase their affection towards your children, with purchased happiness to their posterities, as knowing no household quarrels can be without charges, they will be glad to study to increase the sweetens of unity, thereby to continue everlasting prosperity to their following ages.  
Honesty knows what the fairing-monger will say, when he shall hear of one so flat against his opinion touching marriages, not letting to affirm that it is most necessary that the consent of parents should be last sued for, and little regarded in respect of love, especially seeing his Pamphlet builds so divinelye on far-fetched arguments, to prove the contrary. Therefore to prevent him, and to provide against the great danger their matches-making procure, Honesty must tell him and assure all those that are of his mind, that were the world like unto that wherein Abraham lived, or were Fathers of these days of his disposition, his argument drawn from the gift of Eva to Adam by God and such like might seem to prove some thing. But seeing these times in effect are quite contrary to those, and the dispositions of men in our days, altogether disagreeing to theirs of that age, his time had been better spent in a work to some other purpose. For a little to seem to fly from my matter, and to have a fling at him; how many Fathers now a days are there so careful of providing convenient mates for their children at a seasonable time, as our great Grandfather Abraham was? Again, how many have children that are so obedient to bend their love to their Parents liking as was Isaac? Oh Sir, you are deceived, our young ones are of riper wits, and far forwarder than Children were in those days, and our old ones are of more covetous minds and far forwarder to be drawn to their children's good: for what greater good then to enjoy them they love? and what will offend our parents more than to entreat that? he sent his servant to search forth one of his next kin, not to inquire after one that had most wealth, and should some children entertain no love in our time until their parents procured it, nor sue for a match before their friends made it, it were requisite their honesty should be great, or I know what will follow. Yet again, Fathers live not now adays ordinarily above a hundred years, whereby they have a long lasting government over their Children, but behold it is far contrary, and therefore it requires contrary proceedings. And lastly, (for that I will not be long at this time in this matter) the holy writ bears not such sway in our consciences, as it worked wonders in theirs of those days, and therefore to help our weakness in the want of that warrant we must use the means, love, to draw us to that everlasting happiness.  
But once more to my courting companions to make as speedy an end with them, whose harebrain fancying and fickle affection, is no small hindrance to loves proceedings. Honesty having set down the means to find out their knavery, hath also provided a bat to beat down such flattery, the instrument to find out their dissimulation, being a search into their lingering, and the club to match their club feet, a loathing of their company. But to come to the punishment I would have such to be plagued with, in my opinion, and by Honesty's doom, they are worthy to be set for scarecrows in new sown fields; and the rather thus goes my judgement, for that seeing they are so skilful to do harm in towns and cities, if that bad-used wit were forced to be employed about that commodious doo-good, they would invent excellent means to prevent the spoil the ravenous birds commit. Their pregnant wits and cunning devices to catch women's affections that far exceed crows in reason and discretion, confirm they would be strange, and therefore profitable; yet because it is somewhat too base, though their practices are as beastly, I will end with them with this resolution. That they are as worthy to stand in white-shéetes in Churches, for leaving women in desperate cases, having drawn them into that fools paradise of over-passionate affection, as they that poison strangers bellies: This would make faithful suitors happy, constant lovers joyful, and conrting dissemblers fearful.  
Honesty, having noted these enormities harboured in lewd dispositions shuffled into this Morris, at last lent his ears, and bestowed his eyes, joining with him his best understanding to search into the natures of the remnant, to see whether the multitude were mixed with these in bad conceits. But behold so contrary practises were performed by them, as those proceedings are disagreeing to the furtherance of perfect unity. Amongst these did I behold Love dandled with sweet music, and constant affection upholden with modest demeanour. The sovereigns of Virginity displayed their heavenly dignity, by the imperial colours of matchless beauty, ground with the Ambrosian oil of celestial courtesy; and the matronly deities proved their ethereal discréetnes, in following the heavens prescription for loves true imitation. I saw Kindness matched with Goodwill, Affection linked unto Liking, & Love embraced with Loyalty, Virtue leading them to eternal happiness. They liked not for a moment, loved not upon advantage, nor wooed but with a good intention. These shaked not hands with hateful hearts, nor used smooth tongues with dissembling thoughts. They courted not kindly, to corrupt shamefully, ne protested with vows, to wound with words, and kill with deeds, but hand and heart went together, and the tongue uttered their passionate conceits, their heart loving them as faithfully as their tongue laboured to win their courtesy. And you no earthly creatures, though joined with men for their eternal good, (you heavenly saints I mean, masking in the shadows of terrestrial shapes) you beautify this crew with your divine motions, whose minds ar● only inritched with the true wisdom that upholds loves welfare. Your sacred actions, aid his simple followers, & nought but your careful kindness binds men's weak affections from unconstancy. You make their prayers effectual, their request gaining through you the safety of their longing. Your pity brings them to piety, and your alms relieves them from the captivity of Despair. Distressed Honesty is solely harboured within your milk-white bosoms, and were it not for your bountiful charity, his end would be tormenting beggary. Your alabaster paps do wholly minister moisture to my consuming welfare, and from their sugared teats do I only draw my liquor of life, so that by your motherly kindness to decaying Honesty, they reap likewise their bliss, that would give me my bane, recovering contrary to their wills the remainder of their weal. For how marcheth the passionate soldier without you sound the alarum of his good-spéede? or how fareth the amorous gallant, except you play the galliard of acceptance? Unfortunate eyes, your piercing fights shall be cruelly cursed, and unnatural usage shall be offered to your obedient hearts, for seeing and adoring celestial objects, unless their relenting pity take mercy on your distressed abjects. And blaspheming tongue, thy unbridled impudency shall heap upon thy own back a bundle of untolerable miseries, by being forced to utter execrable slanders against them for their hard hearts, that were purchased to work your hard hap through your own injurious folly. Passions of discontent must please your fancies, and sorrowful poems must grace your music; deep sighs must strain your heartstrings, and direful sorrow lull you a sleep, when visions of new destresses must disquiet your greatest happiness, and dreams of fresh vexations forbidden you the least ease. You shall suc in vain, because you have delighted in vanity, and hope without obtaining, for that your heart have harboured dissembling, except these goddesses, whose goodness is unspeakable, vouchsafe to minister a plaster of pity to your loving piety. It is their courtesy that must make you cheerful, and their good conceits must cherish your dying mirth; their liking must honour your affection, and their grateful kindness must advance the zeal of your protested loyalty. It is in their choice to change your chance, and in their power to bridle Fortune, for that the Fates, being their sisters, are at their calls to set down your destinies. If they say they do hate you, beware, for they can hurt you, but if they affirm they love you, strive to continue your present happiness, and fear to lose the proffered blessedness. Why are women accounted weak, but because their nature is pure? Or wherefore are they necessary but that men cannot live without their company? When we are succourless they comfort us, being melancholy they cheer us, and they are the means to redeem us from the gates of hell. Being mad, their musical tongues chase away the evil spirits, being bewitched their love charms the tormenting devils, and being swallowed up by the gulf licentiousness, the heavens have created them the help to redeem us from that hellish furnace.  
Thus much for their power, & now a little of their properties. O sacred mercy (never more honoured then in the pitiful bosoms of these feminine deities) thou holds thy chief harborough within their passionate besoms, & only art nourished in their relenting hearts. Thou singest within the closerts of their pitiful consciences, & rejoicest within the castles of their celestial souls: thou livest with them secure, and makes through them multitudes of miserable wretches possessors of the highest happiness. Thou bears the sighs of suing swéet-hearts, & comforts the pinching grief of pining lovers. Thou meditates of their vows, and studies to requite their careful affection with kindest courtesy. Thou pitiest the foolish maladies of fond novices, & sorrowest at the weakness of many men's wisdom. Thou strivest to do no wrong, that thou mayst be free from injury, and labours to shun suspect, that thou mayst be without misdoubt. Thou studiest to repay that thou mayst reap thy due, and keepest thy day that thou mayst be well dealt with. Yea much more and so much the better for man, thou pities them that would spoil thee, and forgives them that would hurt thee: thou wishest them well that would dereave thee of thy weal, & lovest them (which is thy only fault) over entirely that esteem of thy proffered kindness too too carelessly. Yet let discretion have the second place with you, for she guides them by reason, and that governs men with wisdom. She knows when to charm with sweet melody, and when to correct with loving persuasions: she useth to dandle virtue, and reprove vice, to embrace good and fly from evil, and willingly to subject obedient imitation to wholesome counsel, as also dutifully to desire liberty from stooping to injurious doctrine. She searcheth into the depth of subjecteth service, and discovering whether it be offered of courtesy, or proffered of knavery, regards it according to it value, and rewards it with it full worth. She teacheth to like ere they love, and loving to increase or diminish the heat of their fancy, according to the proportion of kind coals that nourisheth the fire of their affection. She persuadeth to lance, courting to the bones, to find out the danger, and seeing what likelihood either of weal or woe is likest to ensue, thee showeth them what is good to withdraw the putrefied liking, and what is wholesome to preserve the sound love. And she studies to make them happy, by wishing men their welfare, to make them constant, by endeavouring to increase a spark of loyalty, and to make them honoured by instructing them in the true rules of modesty.  
And now step in further thou beautifying modesty; for thou addest no small renown to their adored natures, nor doth thy bashfulness meanly adorn their highly prised excellencies: thy rosy blusshes bring no small honour to their admired beauty, nor ever dies that sacred staining colour, until by man's corruption, that maidenly mark be extinguished. Yet then (but ah that man should do so much) thy decent sobriety advanceth the dignity of their womanly chastity, and thy matronly behaviour displayeth the sovereignty of their motherly nurture. Thou gives examples that imitated, prevent occasions of enticing offers to draw to folly, and escapes the injurious slanders of suspicions searchers, the hunt after shows of sensuality. Thou maintainest peace at home, escapest suspect abroad, and keepest thy lovers heart from harbouring jealousy, the chief procurer of greatest misery. And thou gainest liking and increasest affection, receiving love and loyalty with an assured pledge of never-dying constancy. Neither art thou everlasting gods, a stranger to mens-helpers; for thou withal the virtues wait upon these beautiful spectacles, and they with the Graces extol those the earth's miracles. Their praises are unspeakable, for that their worth is unvaluable, and their deserts unrequited, because through man's weakness misprised; but such and so great were the adorned excellencies of these humane deities, as their practices laid open their princely courtesy, and their performances made their lovers happy. And men rejoiced through their faithful affection, studying to requite women's everlasting kindness with the reward of never-ceasing constancy. Men used heavenly wisdom to obtain liking, and careful behaviour, to confirm love being purchased, and women were forward to bestow modest kindness, being faithfully dealt withal, and effectually requited proffered courtesy, neither being too too coy, or showing themselves over forward to be won. But briefly, and so to end, every one of them rendered like for like with proofs of never-altering affection, they thereby gaining unto themselves the sugared sweetness of celestial amity, & tying unto their kind thoughts, the affections of their well-willers, with everlasting constancy.  
FINIS.