RULE A WIFE And have a Wife. A comedy. ACTED BY HIS Majesty's Servants.  
Written by JOHN FLETCHER Gent.  
OXFORD, Printed by LEONARD LICHFIELD Printer to the University. ANNO 1640.   

Prologue.  
PLeasure attend ye, and about ye sit  
The springs of mirth fancy delight and wit  
To stir you up, do not your looks let fall,  
Nor to remembrance our late errors call,  
Because this day we're Spaniards all again,  
The story of our Play, and our Scene Spain:  
The errors too, do not for this cause hate,  
Now we present their wit and not their state.  
Nor Ladies be not angry if you see,  
A young fresh beauty, wanton and too free,  
Seek to abuse your Husband, still 'tis Spain,  
No such gross errors in your Kingdom reigns,  
W''re Vestals all, and though we blow the fire,  
We seldom make it flame up to desire,  
Take no example neither to begin,  
For some by precedent delight to sin:  
Nor blame the Poet if he slip aside,  
Sometimes lasciviously if not too wide.  
But hold your Fans close, and then smile at ease,  
A cruel Scene did never Lady please.  
Nor Gentlemen, pray be not you displeased,  
Though we present some men fooled foam diseased,  
Some drunk, some mad: we mean not you, you're free,  
We tax no farther than our Comedy,  
You are our friends sit noble then and see.   

RULE A WIFE and have a wife.  

ACTUS. 1. SCENA. 1.  Enter juan de Castro, and Michael Perez. Mich. 
ARe your companies full colonel?  Iuan. 
No not yet sir:  
Nor will not be this month yet, as I reckon.  
How rises your command?  Mich. 
We pick up still, and as our moneys hold out,  
We have men come, about that time I think  
We shall be full too, many young gallants go.  Iuan. 
And unexperienced,  
The wars are dainty dreams to young hot spirits,  
Time and experience will allay those visions,  
We have strange things to fill our numbers,  
There's one Don Leon, a strange goodly fellow,  
Recommended to me from some noble Friends,  
For my Alfores, had you but seen his person,  
And what a giant's promise it protesteth.  Mich. 
I have heard of him and that he hath served before too.  Iuan. 
But no harm done, nor never meant, Don Michael  
That came to my ears yet, ask him a question,  
He blushes like a girl, and answers little,  
To the point less, he wears a sword a good one,  
And good clothes too, he is whole skinned, has no hurt yet,  
Good promising hopes, I never yet heard certainly  
Of any Gentleman that saw him angry.  Mich. 
Preserve him, he'll conclude a peace if need be,  
Many as strong as he will go along with us,  
That swear as valiantly as heart can wish,  
Their mouth charged with six oaths at once, and whole on's,  
That make the drunken Dutch creep into molehills.  Iuan. 
'tis true, such we must look for, but Michael Perez,  
When heard you of Donna Margaretta, the great heiress.  Mich. 
I hear every hour of her, though I never saw her,  
She is the main discourse, noble Don juan de Castro,  
How happy were that man could catch this wench up,  
And live at ease, she is fair, and young, and wealthy,  
Infinite wealthy, and as gracious too  
In all her entertainments, as men report.  Iuan. 
But she is proud sir, that I know for certain,  
And that comes seldom without wantonness,  
He that shall marry her, must have a rare hand.  Mich. 
Would I were married, I would find that wisdom,  
With a light reign to rule my wife, if ever woman  
Of the most subtlest mould went beyond me,  
I would give the boys leave to hoot me out o'th' parish.  Enter a Servant. Ser. 
Sir there be two gentlewomen attend to speak  
With ye.  Iuan. 
Wait on them in.  Mich. 
Are they two handsome women?  Ser. 
They seem so, very handsome, but they are veiled sir.  Mich. 
Thou put'st sugar in my mouth, how it melts with me,  
I love a sweet young wench.  Iuan. 
Wait on them in I say. Exit serv.  Mich. 
Don juan.  Iuan. 
How you itch Michael, how you burnish!  
Will not this soldier's heat out of your bones yet,  
Do your eyes glow now?  Mich. 
There be two.  Iuan. 
Say honest, what shame have you then.  Mich. 
I would fain see that,  
I have been in the Indies twice, & have seen strange things,  
But two honest women: one I read of once.  Iuan. 
Pre thee be modest.  Mich. 
I'll be any thing.  Enter Servant, Donna, Clara, and Estifania veiled. Iuan. 
You are welcome Ladies.  Mich. 
Both hooded, I like 'em well though,  
They come not for advice in law sure heather,  
Maybe they would learn to raise the pick,  
I am for 'em. They are very modest, 'tis a fine praeludium.  Iuan. 
With me or with this gentleman,  
would you speak Lady?  Clara. 
With you sir as I guess, juan de Castro.  Mich. 
Her curtain opens, she is a pretty gentlewoman.  Iuan. 
I am the man, and shall be bound to fortune,  
I may do any service to your beauties.  Clara. 
Captain, I hear you are marching down to Flanders,  
To serve the Catholic King.  Iuan. 
I am sweet Lady.  Clara. 
I have a kinsman and a noble friend,  
Employed in those wars, may be sir you know him,  
Don Campusano Captain of Carbines,  
To whom I would request your Nobleness,  
To give this poor remembrance. A letter.  Iuan. 
I shall do it,  
I know the Gentleman a most worthy Captain.  Clara. 
Something in private.  Iuan. 
Step aside: I'll serve thee. Ex. Iuan. & Clara.  Mich. 
Prithee let me see thy face.  Estif. 
Sir you must pardon me,  
Women of our sort that maintain fair memories,  
And keep suspect off from their chastities,  
Had need wear thicker veils.  Mich. 
I am no blaster of a Lady's beauty,  
Nor bold intruder on her special favours,  
I know how tender reputation is,  
And with what guards it ought to be preserved Lady,  
You may to me.  Estif. 
You must excuse me signior, I come  
Not here to sell myself.  Mich. 
As I am a Gentleman, by the honour of a Soldier.  Estif. 
I believe you.  
I pray you be civil, I believe you would see me,  
And when you have seen me, I believe you will like me.  
But in a strange place, to a stranger too,  
As if I came on purpose to betray you,  
Indeed I will not.  Mich. 
I shall love you dearly,  
And 'tis a sin to fling away affection,  
I have no Mistress, no desire to honour  
Any but your will not this oyster open?  
I know not, you have struck me with your modesty,  
She will draw sure; so deep, and taken from me?  
All the desire I might bestow on others;  
Quickly before they come.  Estif. 
Indeed I dare not.  
But since I see you are so desirous Sir  
To view a poor face that can merit nothing  
But your repentance.  Mich. 
It must needs be excellent.  Estif. 
And with what honesty you ask it of me.  
When I am gone let your man follow me,  
And view what house I enter, thither come,  
For there I dare be bold to appear open.  
And as I like your virtuous carriage then, Enter juan, Cla. a Servant.  
I shall be able to give welcome to you,  
She hath done her business, I must take my leave sir.  Mich. 
I'll kiss your fair white hand, and thank ye Lady,  
My man shall wait, and I shall be your servant,  
Sirrah, come near, hark.  Serv. 
I shall do it faithfully. Exit.  Iuan. 
You will command me no more services?  Clara. 
To be careful of your noble health, dear Sir,  
That I may ever honour you.  Iuan. 
I thank you,  
And kiss your hands, wait on the Ladies down there.  Exeunt Ladies and servants. Mi. 
You had the honour to see the face that came to you.  Iuan. 
And 'twas a fair one, what was yours, don Michael?  Mi. 
Mine was i'th' 'clipse, and had a cloud drawn over it  
But I believe well, and I hope 'tis handsome,  
She had a hand would stir a holy Hermit.  Iuan. 
You know none of 'em?  Mich. 
No.  Iuan. 
Then I do Captain,  
But I'll say nothing till I see the proof on't,  
Sit close Don Perez, or your worship's caught,  
I fear a fly.  Mich. 
Were those she brought love letters?  Iuan. 
A packet to a kinsman now in Flanders;  
Yours was very modest methought.  Mich. 
Some young unmanaged thing;  
But I may live to see—  Iuan. 
'tis worth experience,  
Let's walk abroad and view our companies. Exit.  Enter Sanchio & Alonzo. Sanch. 
What are you for the wars Alonzo?  Alon. 
It may be I,  
It may be no, e'en as the humour takes me,  
If I find peace amongst the female creatures,  
And easy entertainment, I'll stay at home,  
I am not so far obliged yet to long marches,  
And mouldy biscuits to run mad for honour,  
When you are all gone I have my choice before me.  Sanch. 
Of which hospital thou wilt sweat in; wilt thou  
Never leave whoring?  Alon. 
There is less danger in't then gunning Sanchio,  
Though we be shot sometimes the shot's not mortal,  
Besides it breaks no limbs.  Sanch. 
But it disables 'em,  
dost thou see how thou pullest thy legs after thee, as they  
Hung by points.  Alon. 
Better to pull 'em thus then walk on wooden ones,  
Serve bravely for a billet to support me.  Sanch. 
Fie, fie, 'tis base.  Alon. 
Dost thou count it base to suffer?  
Suffer abundantly, 'tis the crown of honour;  
You think it nothing to lie twenty days  
Under a surgeon's hands that has no mercy.  sanch. 
As thou hast done I am sure but I perceive now  
Why you desire to stay, the orient heiress,  
The Margaretta sir.  Alon. 
I would I had her.  Sanch. 
They say she will marry.  Alon. 
Yes, I think she will.  Sanch. 
And marry suddenly as report goes too,  
She fears her youth will not hold out Alonzo.  Alon, 
I would I had the sheathing on't.  Sanch. 
They say too  
She has a greedy eye that must be fed  
With more than one man's meat.  Alon. 
Would she were mine,  
I would cater for her well enough: but Sanchio,  
There be too many great men that adore her,  
Princes, and PRINCE's fellows that claim privilege.  Sanch. 
Yet those stand off i'th' way of marriage,  
To be tied to a man's pleasure is a second labour.  Alon. 
She has bought a brave house here in town.  Sanch. 
I have heard so.  Alon 
If she convert it now to pious uses,  
And bid poor Gentlemen welcome.  Sanch. 
When comes she to it?  Alon. 
Within these two days, she is in the country yet,  
And keeps the noblest house.  Sanch. 
Then there's some hope of her,  
Wilt thou go my way?  Alon. 
No, no, I must leave you  
And repair to an old Gentlewoman  
That has credit with her, that can speak a good word.  Sanch. 
Send thee good fortune, but make thy body sound first.  Alon. 
I am a soldier,  
And too sound a body becomes me not,  
Farewell Sanchio. Exit.  Enter a servant of Michael Perez. Serv. 
'tis this, or that house, or I have lost mine aim,  
They are both fair buildings, she walked plaguy fast, Ent. Estif.  
And hereabouts I lost her, stay, that's she,  
'tis very she,— she makes me a low curtsy,  
Let me note the place, the street I well remember. Exit.  
She is in again, certain some noble Lady,  
How happy should I be if she love my Master:  
A wondrous goodly house, here are brave lodgings,  
And I shall sleep now like an Emperor,  
And eat abundantly I thank my fortune,  
I'll back with speed and bring him happy tidings. Exit.  Enter three old Ladies. 1. 
What should it mean, that in such haste  
We are sent for?  2. 
Belike the Lady Margaret has some business  
She would break to us in private.  3. 
It should seem so.  
'tis a good Lady, and a wise young Lady.  2. 
And virtuous enough too I warrant ye  
For a young woman of her years: 'tis pity  
To load her tender age with too much virtue.  3. 
'tis more sometimes than we can well away with.  Enter Altea. Alt. 
Good morrow Ladies.  All. 
Morrow my good Madam.  1. 
How does the sweet young beauty, Lady Margaret?  2. 
Has she slept well after her walk last night?  1. 
Are her dreams gentle to her mind?  Alt. 
All's well,  
she's very well, she sent for you thus suddenly  
To give her counsel in a business  
That much concerns her.  2. 
she does well and wisely,  
To ask the counsel of the ancientest madam,  
Our years have run through many things she knows not.  Alt. 
she would fain marry.  1. 
'tis a proper calling,  
And well beseems her years, who would she yoke with?  Alt. 
That's left to argue on, I pray come in  
And break your fast, drink a good cup or two,  
To strengthen your understandings, then she'll tell ye.  2. 
And good wine breeds good counsel,  
We'll yield to ye. Exeunt.  Enter juan de Castro, and Leon. Iuan. 
Have you seen any service?  Leon. 
Yes.  Iuan. 
Where?  Leon. 
Everywhere.  Iuan. 
What office bore ye?  Leon. 
None, I was not worthy.  Iuan. 
What Captains know you?  Leon. 
None, they were above me.  Iuan. 
Were you never hurt?  Leon. 
Not that I well remember,  
But once I stole a Hen, and then they beat me;  
Pray ask me no long questions, I have an ill memory.  Iuan. 
This is an Ass, did you never draw your sword yet?  Leon 
Not to do any harm I thank heaven for't.  Iuan. 
Nor ne'er ta'en prisoner?  Leon. 
No, I ran away,  
For I had ne'er no money to redeem me.  Iuan. 
Can you endure a Drum?  Leon. 
It makes my head ache.  Iuan. 
Are you not valiant when you are drunk?  Leon. 
I think not, but I am loving Sir.  Iuan. 
What a lump is this man,  
Was your Father wise?  Leon. 
Too wise for me I'm sure,  
For he gave all he had to my younger brother.  Iuan. 
That was no foolish part I'll bear you witness.  
Canst thou lie with a woman?  Leon. 
I think I could make shift sir,  
But I am bashful.  Iuan. 
In the night?  Leon. 
I know not,  
Darkness indeed may do some good upon me.  Iuan. 
Why art thou sent to me to be my officer,  
ay, and commended too, when thou dar'st not fight?  Leon. 
There be more officers of my opinion,  
Or I am cozened sir, men that talk more too.  Iuan. 
How wilt thou scape a bullet?  Leon. 
Why by chance,  
They aim at honourable men, alas I am none sir.  Iuan. 
This fellow has some doubts in's talk that strikes me,  Ent. Alonzo. 
He cannot be all fool: welcome Alonzo.  Alon. 
What have you got there temperance into your company?  
The spirit of peace? we shall have wars Ent. Caca.  
By th'ounce then, O here's another Pompion,  
Let him loose for luck's sake, the crammed son  
Of a starved Usurer, Cacafogo, both their brains buttered,  
Cannot make two spoonfuls.  Caca. 
My Father's dead: I am a man of war too,  
Moneys, demeans; I have ships at sea too,  
Captains.  Iuan. 
Take heed o'th' Hollanders, your ships may leak else.  Caca. 
I scorn the Hollanders, they are my drunkards.  Alon. 
Put up your gold sir, I'll borrow it else.  Caca. 
I am satisfied, you shall not,  
Come out, I know thee, meet mine anger instantly.  Leon. 
I never wronged ye.  Caca. 
Thou hast wronged mine honour,  
Thou look'st upon my Mistress thrice lasciviously,  
I'll make it good.  Iuan. 
Do not heat yourself, you will surfeit.  Caca. 
Thou want'st my money too, with a pair of base bones,  
In whom there was no truth, for which I beat thee,  
I beat thee much, now I will hurt thee dangerously.  
This shall provoke thee. He strikes.  Alon. 
You struck too low by a foot sir.  Iuan. 
You must get a ladder when you would beat  
This fellow.  Leon. 
I cannot choose but kick again, pray pardon me.  Caca. 
Hadst thou not asked my pardon, I had killed thee,  
I leave thee as a thing despised, assoles manus a vostra siniare a Maistre. Exit Caca.  Alon. 
You have scaped by miracle, there is not in all Spain,  
A spirit of more fury than this fire drake.  Leon. 
I see he is hasty, and I would give him leave,  
To beat me soundly if he would take my bond.  Iuan. 
What shall I do with this fellow?  Alon. 
Turn him off,  
He will infect the camp with cowardice,  
If he go with thee.  Iuan. 
About some week hence sir,  
If I can hit upon no abler officer,  
You shall hear from me.  Leon. 
I desire no better. Exit.  Enter Estifania and Perez. Per. 
You have made me now too bountiful amends, Lady  
For your strict carriage when you saw me first,  
These beauties were not meant to be concealed,  
It was a wrong to hide so sweet an object,  
I could now chide ye, but it shall be thus,  
No other anger ever touch your sweetness.  Estif. 
You appear to me so honest, and so civil,  
Without a blush sir, I dare bid ye welcome.  Perez. 
Now let me ask your name.  Estif. 
'tis Estifanie, the heir of this poor place.  Perez. 
Poor do you call it,  
There's nothing that I cast mine eyes upon,  
But shows both rich and admirable, all the rooms  
Are hung as if a Princess were to dwell here,  
The Gardens, Orchards, every thing so curious:  
Is all that plate your own too?  Estif. 
'tis but little,  
Only for present use, I have more and richer,  
When need shall call, or friends compel me use it,  
The suits you see of all the upper chambers,  
Are those that commonly adorn the house,  
I think I have besides, as fair as Seville  
Or any town in Spain can parallel.  Perez. 
Now if she be not married, I have some hopes,  
Are you a maid?  Estif. 
You make me blush to answer,  
I ever was accounted so to this hour,  
And that's the reason that I live retired sir.  Perez. 
Then would I counsel you to marry presently,  
If I can get her, I am made for ever,  
For every year you lose, you lose a beauty,  
A husband now an honest careful husband,  
Were such a comfort, will ye walk above stairs.  Estif. 
This place will fit our talk, 'tis fitter far sir,  
Above there are day-beds, and such temptations  
I dare not trust sir.  Perez. 
She is excellent wise withal too.  Estif. 
You named a husband, I am not so strict sir,  
Nor tied unto a virgin's solitariness,  
But if an honest, and a noble one,  
Rich, and a soldier, for so I have vowed he shall be,  
Were offered me, I think I should accept him,  
But above all he must love.  Perez. 
He were base else,  
There's comfort ministered in the word soldier,  
How sweetly should I live.  Estif. 
I am not so ignorant, but that I know well,  
How to be commanded,  
And how again to make myself obeyed sir,  
I waste but little, I have gathered much,  
My rial not the less worth, when 'tis spent,  
If spent by my direction, to please my husband,  
I hold it as indifferent in my duty,  
To be his maid i'th' kitchen, or his Cook,  
As in the Hall to know myself the Mistress.  Perez. 
Sweet, Rich, and provident, now fortune stick  
To me; I am a soldier, and a bachelor, Lady,  
And such a wife as you, I could love infinitely,  
They that use many words, some are deceitful,  
I long to be a husband, and a good one,  
For 'tis most certain I shall make a precedent  
For all that follow me to love their Ladies,  
I am young you see, able I would have you think too,  
If't please you know, try me before you take me,  
'Tis true I shall not meet in equal wealth  
With ye, but jewels, Chains, such as the war  
Has given me, a thousand ducats I dare  
Presume on in ready gold, now as your  
Care may handle it, as rich clothes too, as  
Any he bears arms Lady.  Estif. 
You are a true gentleman, and fair, I see by ye,  
And such a man I had rather take.  Perez. 
Pray do so, I'll have a Priest o'th' sudden.  Estif. 
And as suddenly you will repent too.  Perez. 
I'll be hanged or drowned first,  
By this and this, and this kiss.  Estif. 
You are a Flatterer,  
But I must say there was something when I saw you.  
First, in that most noble face, that stirred my fancy.  Perez. 
I'll stir it better ere you sleep sweet Lady,  
I'll send for all my trunks and give up all to ye,  
Into your own dispose, before I bed ye,  
And then sweet wench.  Estif. 
You have the art to cozen me. Exeunt.   

ACTUS 2. SCENA 1.  Enter Margaretta, and two Ladies, and Altea. Margar. 
Sit down and give me your opinions seriously.  1. 
You say you have a mind to marry Lady.  Marg. 
'tis true, I have for to preserve my credit,  
Yet not so much for that as for my state Ladies,  
Conceive me right, there lies the main o'th' question,  
Credit I can redeem, money will imp it,  
But when my money's gone, when the law shall  
Cease that, and for incontinency strip me  
Of all.  1. 
Do you find your body so malicious that way.  Marg. 
I find it as all bodies are that are young and lusty,  
Lazy, and high fed, I desire my pleasure  
And pleasure I must have.  2. 
'Tis fit you should have,  
Your years require it, and 'tis necessary,  
As necessary as meat to a young Lady,  
Sleep cannot nourish more.  1. 
But might not all this be, & keep ye single.  
You take away variety in marriage,  
The abundance of the pleasure you are barred then,  
is't not abundance that you aim at.  Marg. 
Yes why was I made a woman.  2. 
And every day a new?  Marg. 
Why fair and young but to use it.  1. 
You are still i'th' right, why would you marry then.  4. 
Because a husband stops all doubts in this point,  
And clears all passages.  2. 
What husband mean ye.  4. 
A husband of an easy faith a fool,  
Made by her wealth, and moulded to her pleasure,  
One though he see himself become a monster,  
Shall hold the door, and entertain the maker.  2. 
You grant there may be such a man.  1. 
Yes marry, but how to bring 'em to this rare Perfection.  2. 
They must be chosen so, things of no honour,  
Nor outward honesty.  Marg. 
No 'tis no matter,  
I care not what they are, so they be lusty.  2. 
methinks now a rich Lawyer, some such fellow,  
That carries credit, and a face of awe,  
But lies with nothing but his client's business.  Marg. 
No there's no trusting them, they are too subtle,  
The Law has moulded 'em of natural mischief.  1. 
Then some grave governor,  
Some man of honour, yet an easy man.  Marg. 
If he have honour I am undone, I'll none such,  
I'll have a lusty man, honour will cloy me.  4. 
'tis fit ye should Lady;  
And to that end, with search and wit and labour,  
I have found one out, a right one and a perfect,  
He is made as strong as brass, is of brave years too,  
And doughty of complexion.  Marg. 
Is he a Gentleman?  4. 
Yes and a Soldier, as gentle as you would wish him,  
A good fellow, wears good clothes.  Marg. 
Those I'll allow him,  
They are for my credit, does he understand,  
But little?  4. 
Very little.  Marg. 
'tis the better.  
Has not the warres bred him up to anger?  4. 
No, he will not quarrel with a dog that bites him,  
Let him be drunk or sober, is one silence.  Marg. 
Has no capacity what honour is?  
For that's the soldier's god.  4. 
honour's a thing too subtle for his wisdoms  
If honour lie in eating, he is right honourable.  Marg. 
Is he so goodly a man do you say?  4. 
As you shall see Lady,  
But to all this is but a trunk.  Marg. 
I would have him so,  
I shall add branches to him to adorn him,  
Go, find me out this man, and let me see him,  
If he be that motion that you tell me of,  
And make no more noise, I shall entertain him,  
Let him be here.  4. 
He shall attend your Ladyship. Exeunt.  Enter juan, Alonzo, and Perez. Iuan. 
Why thou art not married indeed.  Perez. 
No, no, pray think so,  
Alas I am a fellow of no reckoning,  
Not worth a Lady's eye.  Alon. 
Wouldst thou steal a fortune,  
And make none of all thy friends acquainted with it,  
Nor bid us to thy wedding.  Perez. 
No indeed,  
There was no wisdom in't, to bid an Artist,  
An old seducer to a female banquet,  
I can cut up my pie without your instructions.  Iuan. 
Was it the wench i'th' veil.  Perez. 
Basto 'twas she,  
The prettiest rogue that ere you looked upon,  
The lovingest thief.  Iuan. 
And is she rich withal too.  Perez. 
A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth colonel.  
I am an ass, a bashful fool, prithee colonel,  
How do thy companies fill now.  Iuan. 
You are merry sir,  
You intend a safer war at home belike now.  Perez. 
I do not think I shall fight much this year colonel,  
I find myself given to my ease a little,  
I care not if I sell my foolish company,  
They are things of hazard.  Alon. 
How it angers me,  
This fellow at first sight should win a Lady,  
A rich young wench, and I that have consumed  
My time and art in searching out their subtleties,  
Like a fooled alchemist blow up my hopes still,  
When shall we come to thy house and be freely merry.  Perez. 
When I have managed her a little more,  
I have a house to entertain an army.  Alon. 
If thy wife be fair, thou wilt have few less  
Come to thee.  Perez. 
But where they'll get entertainment is the point signior.  
I beat no drum.  Alon. 
You need none but her taber,  
May be I'll march after a month or two,  
To get me a fresh stomach, I find colonel  
A wantonness in wealth, methinks I agree not with,  
'tis such a trouble to be married too,  
And have a thousand things of great importance,  
jewels and plates, and fooleries molest me,  
To have a man's brains whimsied with his wealth:  
Before I walked contentedly.  Enter Servant. Serv. 
My Mistress sir is sick, because you are absent,  
She mourns and will not eat.  Perez. 
Alas my jewel,  
Come I'll go with thee, gentlemen your fair leaves,  
You see I am tide a little to my yoke,  
Pray pardon me, would ye had both such loving wives.  Iuan. 
I thank ye Exit. Perez Serv.  
For your old boots, never be blank Alonzo,  
Because this fellow has out stripped thy fortune,  
Tell me ten days hence what he is, and how  
The gracious state of matrimony stands with him,  
Come, let's to dinner, when Margarita comes  
we'll visit both, it may be then your fortune. Exeunt.  Ent. Margarita, Altea, the Ladies. Marg. 
Is he come?  4. 
Yes madam, has been here this half hour,  
I have questioned him of all that you can ask him,  
And find him as fit as you had made the man,  
He will make the goodliest shadow for iniquity.  Marg. 
Have ye searched him Ladies?  Omnes. 
Is a man at all points, a likely man.  Marg. 
Call him in Altea. Exit Lady.  Ent. Leon, Altea. 
A man of a good presence, pray ye come this way,  
Of a lusty body, is his mind so.  4. 
Pray ye question him, and if you find him not  
Fit for your purpose, shake him off, there's no harm Done.  Marg. 
Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes.  4. 
Leave twirling of your hat, & hold your head up,  
And speak toth' Lady.  Leon. 
Yes, I think I can,  
I must be taught, I know not what it means Madam.  Marg. 
You shall be taught, and can you when she pleases  
Go ride abroad, and stay a week or two?  
You shall have men and horses to attend ye,  
And money in your purse.  Leon. 
Yes I love riding,  
And when I am from home I am so merry.  Marg. 
Be as merry as you will: can you as handsomely  
When you are sent for back, come with obedience,  
And do your duty to the Lady loves you?  Leon. 
Yes sure, I shall.  Marg. 
And when you see her friends here,  
Or noble kinsmen, can you entertain  
Their servants in the Cellar, and be busied,  
And hold your peace, whate'er you see or hear of.  Leon. 
'twere fit I were hanged else.  Marg. 
Let me try your kisses,  
How the fool shakes, I will not eat ye sir,  
Beshrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly,  
Can ye do any thing else?  Leon. 
Indeed I know not;  
But if your Ladyship will please to instruct me,  
Sure I shall learn.  Marg. 
You shall then be instructed;  
If I should be this Lady that affects ye,  
Nay say I marry ye?  4. 
Hark to the Lady.  Marg. 
What money have ye?  Leon. 
None Madam, nor friends,  
I wood do any thing to serve your Ladyship.  Marg. 
You must not look to be my Mr Sir,  
Nor talk i'th' house as though you wore the breeches,  
No, nor command in any thing.  Leon. 
I will not.  
Alas I am not able, I have no wit Madam.  Marg. 
Nor do not labour to arrive at any,  
'twill spoil your head I take ye upon charity  
And like a servant ye must be unto me,  
As I behold your duty I shall love ye,  
And as you observe me, I may chance lie with ye,  
Can you mark these.  Leon. 
Yes indeed forsooth.  Marg. 
There is one thing,  
That if I take ye in I put ye from me,  
Utterly from me, you must not be saucy,  
No, nor at any time familiar with me,  
Scarce know me, when I call ye not.  Leon. 
I will not, alas I never knew myself sufficiently.  Marg. 
Nor must not now.  Leon. 
I'll be a dog to please ye.  Marg. 
Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.  Leon. 
I were too blame else.  Marg. 
Kiss me again; a strong fellow,  
There is a vigour in his lips: if you see me  
Kiss any other, twenty in an hour sir,  
You must not start, nor be offended.  Leon 
No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented,  
It will the better teach me how to please ye.  4. 
I told ye Madam,  Marg. 
'tis the man I wished for; the less you speak.  Leon. 
I'll never speak again Madam,  
But when you charge me, then I'll speak softly too.  Marg. 
Get me a Priest, I'll wed him instantly,  
But when you are married sir, you must wait  
Upon me, and see you observe my laws.  Leon. 
Else you shall hang me.  Marg. 
I'll give ye better clothes when you deserve 'em,  
Come in, and serve for witnesses.  Omnes. 
We shall Madam.  Marg. 
And then away toth' city presently,  
I'll to my new house and new company.  Leon. 
A thousand crowns are thine, & I am a made man.  4. 
Do not break out too soon.  Leon. 
I know my time wench. Exeunt.  Enter Clara, and Estifania with a paper. Clara. 
What have you caught him?  Estif. 
Yes.  Clara. 
And do you find him  
A man of those hopes that you aimed at?  Estif. 
Yes too,  
And the most kind man, and the ablest also  
To give a wife content, he is sound as old wine,  
And to his soundness rises on the palate,  
And there's the man; I find him rich too Clara.  Clara. 
Hast thou married him.  Estif. 
What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench?  
I bob for fools? he is mine own I have him,  
I told thee what would tickle him like a trout,  
And as I cast it so I caught him daintily,  
And all he has I have stowed at my devotion.  Clara. 
Does thy Lady know this? she is coming now to town,  
Now to live here in this house.  Estif. 
Let her come,  
She shall be welcome, I am prepared for her,  
She is mad sure if she be angry at my fortune,  
For what I have made bold.  Clara. 
Dost thou not love him?  Estif. 
Yes, entirely well,  
As long as there he stays and looks no farther  
Into my ends, but when he doubts, I hate him,  
And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him,  
How to decline their wives, and curb their manners,  
To put a stern and strong reign to their natures,  
And holds he is an Ass not worth acquaintance,  
That cannot mould a devil to obedience,  
I owe him a good turn for these opinions,  
And as I find his temper I may pay him. Enter Perez.  
O here he is, now you shall see a kind man.  Perez. 
My Estifania, shall we to dinner lamb,  
I know thou stayest for me.  Estif. 
I cannot eat else.  Perez. 
I never enter but methinks a Paradise  
Appears about me.  Estif. 
You are welcome to it Sir.  Perez. 
I think I have the sweetest seat in Spain wench,  
methinks the richest too, we'll eat i'th' garden  
In one o'th' arbours, there 'tis cool and pleasant,  
And have our wine cold in the running fountain  
Who's that?  Estif. 
A friend of mine Sir.  Perez. 
Of what breeding?  Estif. 
A Gentlewoman Sir.  Perez. 
What business has she?  
Is she a learned woman i'th' Mathematics,  
Can she tell fortunes?  Estif. 
More than I know Sir.  Perez. 
Or has she ere a letter from a kinswoman,  
That must be delivered in my absence wife,  
Or comes she from the Doctor to salute ye,  
And learn your health, she looks not like a confessor.  Estif. 
What need all this, why are you troubled Sir.  
What do you suspect, she cannot cuckold ye,  
She is a woman Sir, a very woman.  Perez. 
Your very woman may do very well Sir  
Toward the matter, for though she cannot perform it  
In her own person, she may do it by Proxy,  
Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy.  Estif. 
Cry ye mercy husband, you are jealous then,  
And happily suspect me.  Perez. 
No indeed wife.  Estif. 
methinks you should not till you have more cause  
And clearer too: I am sure you have heard say husband,  
A woman forced will free herself through iron,  
A happy, calm, and good wife discontented  
May be taught tricks.  Perez 
No, no, I do but jest with ye.  Estif. 
Tomorrow friend I'll see you.  Clara. 
I shall leave ye  
Till then, and pray all may go sweetly with ye. Exit.  Estif. 
Why where's this girl, whose's at the door. Knock.  Perez. 
Who knocks there?  
Is't for the king ye come, you knock so boisterously?  
Look to the door. Enter maid.  Maid. 
My Lady, as I live Mistress, my lady's come,  
she's at the door, I peeped through, & I saw her,  
And a stately company of Ladies with her.  Estif. 
This was a week too soon, but I must meet with her,  
And set a new wheel going, and a subtle one,  
Must blind this mighty Mars, or I am ruined.  Perez. 
What are they at door?  Estif. 
Such my Michael  
As you may bless the day they entered here,  
Such for our good.  Perez. 
'tis well.  Estif. 
Nay, 'twill be better  
If you will let me but dispose the business,  
And be a stranger to it, and not disturb me,  
What have I now to do but to advance your fortune.  Perez. 
Do, I dare trust thee, I am ashamed I am angry,  
I find thee a wise young wife.  Estif. 
I'll wise your worship  
Before I leave ye, pray ye walk by and say nothing,  
Only salute him, and leave the rest to me Sir,  
I was borne to make ye a man.  Perez. 
The rogue speaks heartily,  
Her good will colours in her cheeks, I am borne to love her.  
I must be gentler to these tender natures,  
A soldiers rude harsh words befit not Ladies,  
Nor must we talk to them as we talk to  
Our Officers, I'll give her way, for 'tis for me she  
Works now, I am husband, heir, and all she has.  Enter Marg. Estif. Leon, Altea, & Ladies. 
Who are these, what flaunting things, a woman  
Of rare presence, excellent fair, this is too big  
For a bawdy house, too open seated too.  Estif. 
My husband Lady.  Marg. 
You have gained a proper man.  Perez. 
whate'er I am, I am your servant Lady. kisses.  Estif. 
Sir, be ruled now,  
And I shall make ye rich, this is my cousin,  
That Gentleman dotes on her, even to death, see how he observes her.  Perez. 
She is a goodly woman.  Estif. 
She is a mirror,  
But she is poor, she were for a PRINCE's side else,  
This house she has brought him too as to her own,  
And presuming upon me, and upon my courtesy,  
Conceive me short, he knows not but she is wealthy,  
Or if she did know otherwise, 'twere all one,  
He is so far gone.  Perez. 
Forward, she has a rare face.  Estif. 
This we must carry with discretion husband,  
And yield unto her for four days.  Perez. 
Yield our house up, our goods and wealth.  Estif. 
All this is but in seeming  
To milk the lover on, do you see this writing,  
200 a year when they are married,  
Has she sealed too for our good; the time's unfit now,  
I'll show it you tomorrow.  Perez. 
All the house.  Estif. 
All, all, and we'll remove too, to confirm him.  
They'll into th' country suddenly again  
After they are matched, and then she'll open to him.  Perez. 
The whole possession wife, look what you do,  
A part o'th' house.  Estif. 
No, no, they shall have all,  
And take their pleasure too, 'tis for our advantage,  
Why, what's four days, had you a sister sir,  
A Niece or Mistress that required this courtesy,  
And should I make a scruple to do you good?  Perez. 
If easily it would come back.  Estif. 
I swear Sir,  
As easily as it came on, is't not pity  
To let such a Gentlewoman for a little help,  
You give away no house.  Perez. 
Clear but that question.  Estif. 
I'll put the writings into your hand.  Perez. 
Well then.  Estif. 
And you shall keep them safe.  Perez. 
I am satisfied; wood I had the wench so too.  Estif. 
When she has married him,  
So infinite his love is linked unto her,  
You, ay, or any one that helps at this pinch  
May have heaven knows what.  Perez. 
I'll remove the goods straight,  
And take some poor house by, 'tis but for four days.  Estif. 
I have a poor old friend; there we'll be.  Perez. 
'tis well then.  Estif. 
Go handsome off, and leave the house clear.  Perez. 
Well.  Estif. 
That little stuff we'll use shall follow after;  
And a boy to guide ye, peace and we are made both.  Marg. 
Come, let's go in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench.  Estif. 
They are sweet and neat. Exit Per.  Marg. 
Why where's your husband?  Estif. 
Gone Madam.  
When you come to your own he must give place Lady.  Marg. 
Well, send you joy, you would not let me know't,  
Yet I shall not forget ye.  Estif. 
Thank your Ladyship. Exeunt.   

ACTUS 3. SCENA 1.  Enter Margarita, Altea, and Boy. Altea. 
Are you at ease now, is your heart at rest,  
Now you have got a shadow, an umbrella  
To keep the scorching world's opinion  
From your fair credit.  Marg. 
I am at peace Altea.  
If he continue but the same he shows,  
And be a master of that ignorance  
He outwardly professes, I am happy,  
The pleasure I shall live in and the freedom  
Without the squint-eye of the law upon me,  
Or prating liberty of tongues, that envy.  4. 
You are a made woman.  Marg. 
But if he should prove now  
A crafty and dissembling kind of husband,  
One read in knavery, and brought up in the art  
Of villainy concealed.  4. 
My life, an Innocent.  Marg. 
That's it I aim at,  
That's it I hope too, then I am sure I rule him,  
For Innocents are like obedient children  
Brought up under a hard mother in law, a cruel,  
Who being not used to breakfasts & collations,  
When they have course bread offered 'em, are thankful,  
And take it for a favour too, are the rooms  
Made ready to entertain my friends, I long to dance now  
And to be wanton; let me have a song, is the great couch up,  
The Duke of Medina sent?  4. 
'tis up and ready.  Marg. 
And day beds in all chambers?  4. 
In all Lady,  
Your house is nothing now but various pleasures  
The Gallants begin to gaze too.  Marg. 
Let 'em gaze on,  
I was brought up a Courtier, high and happy,  
And company is my delight, and courtship,  
And handsome servants at my will, where's my good husband,  
Where does he wait?  4. 
He knows his distance Madam,  
I warrant ye, he is busy in the cellar  
Amongst his fellow servants, or asleep,  
Till your command awake him.  Marg. 
'tis well Altea. Enter Leon.  
It should be so, my ward I must preserve him,  
Who sent for him, how dare he come uncalled for,  
His bonnet on too.  4. 
Sure he sees you not.  Marg. 
How scornfully he looks.  Leon. 
Are all the chambers  
Decked and adorned thus for my Lady's pleasure,  
New hangings every hour for entertainment,  
And new plate bought, new jewels to give lustre.  Ser. 
They are, and yet there must be more and richer,  
It is her will.  Leon. 
Hum, is it so, 'tis excellent,  
It is her will too, to have feasts and banquets,  
Revels and masques  Ser. 
She ever loved 'em dearly,  
And we shall have the bravest house kept now sir,  
I must not call ye master she has warned me.  
Nor must not put my hat off to ye.  Leon. 
'tis no fashion,  
What though I be her husband, I am your fellow,  
I may cut first.  Serv. 
That's as you shall deserve sir.  Leon. 
And when I lie with her.  Ser. 
May be I'll light ye.  
On the same point you may do me that service.  Enter 1. Lady. 1 Lady. 
madam, the Duke Medina with some captains  
Will come to dinner, and have sent are wine,  
And their best services.  Marg. 
They shall be welcome,  
See all be ready in the noblest fashion,  
The house perfumed, now I shall take my pleasure,  
And not my neighbour justice maunder at me,  
Go, get your best clothes on, but till I call ye,  
Be sure you be not seen, dine with the gentlewomen,  
And behave yourself cleanly sir, 'tis for my credit.  Enter 2. Lady. 2. 
madam, the Lady julia.  Leon 
That's a bawd,  
A three piled bawd, bawd major to the army.  2. 
Has brought her coach to wait upon your Ladyship,  
And to be informed if you will take the air this morning.  Leon. 
The neat air of her nunnery.  Marg. 
Tell her no, i'th' afternoon I'll call on her.  2. 
I will madam. Exit.  Marg. 
Why are not you gone to prepare yourself,  
May be you shall be sewer to the first course,  
A portly presence, Alten he looks lean,  
'tis a wash knave, he will not keep his flesh well.  4. 
A willing, madam, one that needs no spurring.  Leon. 
Faith madam, in my little understanding,  
You had better entertain your honest neighbours  
Your friends about ye, that may speak well of ye,  
And give a worthy mention of your bounty.  Marg. 
How now what's this?  Leon. 
'tis only to persuade ye,  
Courtiers are but tickle things to deal withal,  
A kind of marchpane men that will not last madam,  
An egg and pepper goes farther than their potions,  
And in a well built body a poor parsnip  
Will play his prize, above their strong potabiles.  Mar. 
The fellows mad.  Leon. 
He that shall counsel Ladies,  
That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes,  
Is either mad, or drunk, let him speak Gospel.  4. 
He breaks out modestly.  Leon. 
Pray ye be not angry,  
My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye,  
What you'll find true.  Mar. 
Thou darest not talk.  Leon. 
Not much madam,  
You have a tie upon your servants tongue,  
He dares not be so bold as reason bids him,  
'Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper,  
ne'er look so stern upon me I am your husband,  
But what are husbands, read the new world's wonders,  
Such husbands as this monstrous world produces,  
And you will scarce find such deformities,  
They are shadows to conceal your venial virtues,  
Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions,  
Balls that lie by you, to wash out your stains,  
And bills nailed up with horn before your stories,  
To rent out last.  Mar. 
Do you hear him talk?  Leon. 
I have done madam,  
An ox once spoke, as learned men deliver,  
Shortly I shall be such, then I'll speak wonders,  
Till when I tie myself to my obedience. Exit.  Mar. 
First I'll untie myself, did you mark the Gentleman,  
How boldly and how saucily he talked,  
And how unlike the lump I took him for,  
The piece of ignorant dough, he stood up to me  
And mated my commands, this was your providence,  
Your wisdom, to elect this gentleman,  
Your excellent forecast in the man, your knowledge,  
What think ye now.  4. 
I think him an ass still,  
This boldness some of your people have blown  
Into him, this wisdom too with strong wine,  
'Tis a Tyrant, and a Philosopher also, and finds  
Out reasons.  Mar. 
I'll have my cellar locked, no school kept there,  
Nor no discovery I'll turn my drunkards,  
Such as are understanding in their draughts,  
And dispute learnedly the why's and wherefores,  
To grass immediately, I'll keep all fools,  
Sober or drunk, still fools that shall know nothing,  
Nothing belongs to mankind, but obedience,  
And such a hand I'll keep over this husband.  4. 
He will fall again, my life he cries by this time,  
Keep him from drink, he has a high constitution.  Ent. Leon. Leon. 
Shall I wear my new suit madam?  Marg. 
No your old clothes,  
And get you into the country presently,  
And see my hawks well trained, you shall have victuals,  
Such as are fit for saucy palates sir,  
And lodgings with the hinds it is too good too.  4. 
Good madam be not so rough, with repentance,  
You see now he's come round again.  Mar. 
I see not what I expect to see.  Leon. 
You shall see madam, if it shall please your Ladyship.  4. 
he's humbled,  
Forgive good Lady.  Marg. 
Well go get you handsome,  
And let me hear no more.  Leon. 
Have ye yet no feeling,  
I'll pinch ye to the bones then my proud Lady. Exit.  Marg. 
See you preserve him thus upon my favour,  
You know his temper, tie him to the grindstone,  
The next rebellion I'll be rid of him,  
I'll have no needy rascals, I tie to me,  
Dispute my life, come in and see all handsome.  4. 
I hope to see you so too, I have wrought ill else. Exit.  Enter Perez. Per. 
Shall I never return to mine own house again,  
We are lodged here in the miserablest dog-hole,  
A conjurer's circle gives content above it,  
A hawks mew is a princely palace to it,  
We have a bed no bigger than a basket,  
And there we lie like butter clapped together,  
And sweat ourselves to sawee immediately,  
The fumes are Infinite inhabit here too;  
And to that so thick, they cut like marmalade,  
So various too, they'll pose a gold finder,  
Never return to mine own paradise?  
Why wife I say, why Estifania.  Estif. 
within .I am going presently.  Perez. 
Make hast good jewel,  
I am like the people that live in the sweet Lands:  
I die I die if I stay but one day more here,  
My lungs are rotten with the damps that rise,  
And I cough nothing now but stinks of all sorts,  
The inhabitants we have are two starved rats,  
For they are not able to maintain a cat here,  
And those appear as fearful as two devils,  
They have eat a map of the whole world up already,  
And if we stay a night we are gone for company,  
there's an old woman that's now grown to marble,  
Dried in this brick hill, and she sits i'th' chimney,  
Which is but three tiles raised like a house of cards,  
The true proportion of an old smoked Sibyl,  
There is a young thing too that nature meant  
For a maid servant, but 'tis now a monster,  
She has a husk about her like a chestnut  
With basinesse, and living under the line here,  
And these two make a hollow sound together,  
Like frogs or winds between two doors that murmur  Ent. Estifania. 
Mercy deliver me, o are you come wife,  
Shall we be free again.  Estif. 
I am now going,  
And you shall presently to your own house sir,  
The remembrance of this small vexation,  
Will be argument of mirth for ever:  
By that time you have said your orisons,  
And broke your fast, I shall be back and ready,  
To usher you to your old content, your freedom.  Per. 
Break my neck rather, is there any thing here to eat  
But one another, like a race of Cannibals,  
A piece of buttered wall you think is excellent,  
Let's have our house again immediately,  
And pray ye take heed unto the furniture,  
None be embezzled.  Estif. 
Not a pin I warrant ye.  Perez. 
And let 'em instantly depart.  Estif. 
They shall both,  
There's reason in all courtesies they must both,  
For by this time I know she has acquainted him,  
And has provided too she sent me word sit,  
And will give over gratefully unto you.  Perez. 
I'll walk i'th' Churchyard,  
The dead cannot offend more than these living,  
An hour hence I'll expect ye.  Estif. 
I'll not fail sir.  Per. 
And do you hear, let's have a handsome dinner,  
And see all things be decent as they have been,  
And let me have a strong bath to restore me,  
I stink like a stall-fish shambles, or an oil shop.  Estif. 
You shall have all, which some interpret nothing,  
I'll send ye people for the trunks afore hand,  
And for the stuff.  Perez. 
Let 'em be known and honest,  
And do my service to your niece.  Estif. 
I shall sir,  
But if I come not at my hour come thither,  
That they may give you thanks for your fair courtesy,  
And pray ye be brave for my sake.  Perez. 
I observe ye. Exeunt.  Enter juan de Castro, Sancho, and Cacafogo. Sanc. 
Thou art very brave.  Caca. 
I have reason, I have money.  Sanch. 
Is money reason.  Caca. 
Yes and ruin too Captain,  
If ye have no money you're an ass.  Sanc. 
I thank ye.  Cac. 
Ye have meaner, ever thank him that has money.  Sanc. 
Wilt thou lend me any?  Cac. 
Not a far thing Captain,  
Captains are casual things.  Sanc. 
Why so are all men, thou shalt have my bond.  Cac. 
Nor bonds nor fetters Captain,  
My money is mine own, I make no doubt on't.  Iuan. 
What dost thou do with it?  Cac. 
Put it to pious uses,  
Buy wine and wenches, and undo young coxcombs,  
That would undo me.  Iuan. 
Are those hospitals?  Cac. 
I first provide to fill my hospitals,  
With creatures of mine own that I know wretched,  
And then I build, those are more bound to pray for me,  
Besides I keep th'inheritance in my name still.  Iuan. 
A provident charity, are you for the war's sir?  Cac. 
I am not poor enough to be soldier,  
Nor have i'faith enough to ward a bullet.  
This is no lining for a trench I take it.  Iuan. 
Ye have said wisely.  Cac. 
Had you but my money,  
You would swear it colonel, I had rather drill at home,  
A hundred thousand crowns, and with more honour,  
Then exercise ten thousand fools with nothing,  
A Wise man safely feeds, fools cut their fingers.  Sanc. 
A right state-usurer, why dost thou not marry,  
And live a reverend justice.  Cac. 
Is't not nobler to command a reverent justice, than to be one,  
And for a wife, what need I marry Captain,  
When every courteous fool, that owes me money.  
Owes me his wife too, to appease my fury.  Iuan. 
Wilt thou go to dinner with us.  Cac. 
I will go, and view the pearl of Spain, the orient  
Fair one, the rich one too, and I will be respected,  
I bear my patent here, I will talk to her,  
And when your captain's ships shall stand a loose,  
And pick your noses, I will pick the purse,  
Of her affection.  juan 
The Duke dines there today too, the Duke of Medina.  Cac. 
Let the King dine there,  
He owes me money, and so far's my creature,  
And certainly I may make bold with mine own Captain.  Sanc. 
Thou wilt eat monstrously.  Cac. 
Like a true borne Spaniard,  
Eat as I were in England where the beef grows,  
And I will drink abundantly and then,  
Talk ye as wantonly as Ovid did,  
To stir the intellectuals of the Ladies,  
I learned it of my Father's amorous Scrivener.  Iuan. 
If we should play now, you must supply me.  Cac. 
You must pawn a horse troop,  
And then have at ye colonel.  Sanc. 
Come let's go.  
This rascal will make rare sport, how the Ladies  
Will laugh him, leave ager.  Iuan. 
If I light on him I'll make his purse sweat too.  Cac. 
Will ye lead gentlemen. Exeunt.  Enter Perez, an old Woman, and Maid, Per. 
Nay pray ye come out, and let me understand ye,  
And tune your pipe a little higher Lady,  
I'll hold ye fast: rub, how came my trunks open,  
And my goods gone, what picklock spirit.  Old Wom. 
Ha what would ye have?  Per. 
My goods again, how came my trunks all open.  Old wo. 
Are your trunks open?  Per. 
Yes and clothes gone,  
And chains, and jewels, how she smells like hung beef,  
The palsy and picklocks, fie how she belches,  
The spirit of garlic.  Old wo. 
Where's your gentlewoman?  
The young fair woman.  Per. 
What's that to my question,  
She is my wife: and gone about my business.  Maid. 
Is she your wife sir.  Per. 
Yes sir, is that wonder;  
Is the name of wife unknown here.  Old wo. 
Is she truly, truly your wife.  Per. 
I think so for I married her,  
It was no vision sure.  Maid. 
She has the keys sir,  Per. 
I know she has, but who has all my goods spirit.  Old wo. 
If you be married to that Gentlewoman,  
You are a wretched man, she has twenty husbands.  Maid. 
She tells you true.  Old wo. 
And she has cozened all sir.  Per. 
The Devil she has, I had a fair house with her,  
That stands hard by, and furnished royally.  Old woman 
You are cozened too, 'tis none of hers good gentleman,  
It is a lady's, what's the Lady's name wench.  Maid. 
The Lady Margarita, she was her servant  
And kept the house, but going from her sir,  
For some lewd tricks she played.  Per. 
Plague o' the Devil,  
Am I i'th' full Meridian of my wisdom  
Cheated by a stale quean, what kind of Lady  
Is that that owes the house?  Old. wo. 
A young sweet Lady.  Perez. 
Of a low stature?  Old wo. 
She is indeed but little, but she is wondrous fair.  Perez. 
I feel I am cozened.  
Now I am sensible I am undone,  
This is the very woman sure, that cozen  
She told me would entreat but for four days,  
To make the house hers, I am entreated sweetly.  Maid. 
When she went out this morning, that I saw Sir,  
She had two women at the door attending,  
And there she gave 'em things, and loaded 'em,  
But what they were, I heard your trunks to open,  
If they be yours.  Perez. 
They were mine while they are laden,  
But now they have cast their calves, they are not worth  
Owning, was she her Mistress say you?  Old wo. 
Her own Mistress, her very Mistress, Sir, and all you saw  
About, and in that house was hers.  Perez. 
No plate, no jewels, nor no hangings?  Maid. 
Not a farthing, she is poor, sir, a poor shifting thing,  Perez. 
No money?  Old wo. 
Abominable poor, as poor as we are,  
Money as rare to her unless she steal it.  
But for one civil gown her Lady gave her,  
She may go bare good Gentlewoman.  Perez. 
I am mad now,  
I think I am as poor as she, I am wide else,  
One civil suit I have left too, and that's all,  
And if she steal that she must flay me for it,  
Where does she use?  Old wo. 
You may find truth as soon,  
Alas a thousand concealed corners sir, she lurks in,  
And here she gets a fleece, and there another,  
And lives in mists and smokes where none can find her.  Perez. 
Is she a whore too?  Old wo. 
Little better Gentleman, I dare not say she is so sir, because  
She is yours, sir, but these 5 years she has firked  
A pretty living,  
Until she came to serve; I fear he will knock my  
Brains out for lying.  Perez. 
She has served me faithfully,  
A whore, and a thief, two excellent moral learnings  
In one she Saint, I hope to see her legend.  
Have I been feared for my discoveries,  
And courted by all women to conceal 'em,  
Have I so long studied the art of this sex,  
And read the warnings to young Gentlemen:  
Have I professed to tame the pride of Ladies,  
And make 'em bear all tests, and am I tricked now,  
Caught in mine own noose, here's a royal left yet,  
There's for your lodging and your meat for this week.  
A silkworm lives at a more plentiful ordinary,  
And sleeps in a sweeter box, farewell great grandmother,  
If I do find you were an accessary,  
'tis but the cutting off too smoky minutes.  
I'll hang ye presently.  Old wo. 
And I deserve it, I tell but truth.  Perez. 
Nor I, I am an ass mother. Exeunt.  Enter the Duke, Medina, juan de Castro, Alonzo, Sancho, Cacafogo, Attendants. Duke. 
A goodly house.  juan, 
And richly furnished too Sir.  Alon. 
Hung wantonly, I like that preparation,  
It stirs the blood unto a hopeful banquet,  
And intimates the Mistress free and jovial,  
I love a house where pleasure prepares welcome.  Duke. 
Now Cacafogo, how like you this mansion,  
'twere a brave pawn.  Caca. 
I shall be master of it,  
'twas built for my bulk, the rooms are wide and spacious,  
Airy, and full of ease, and that I love well,  
I'll tell you when I taste the wine my Lord,  
And take the height of her table with my stomach,  
How my affections stand to the young Lady.  Enter Margarita, Altea, Ladies, and servants. Marg. 
All welcome to your Grace, and to these soldiers,  
You honour my poor house with your fair presence  
Those few slight pleasures that inhabit here sir,  
I do beseech your Grace command, they are yours;  
Your servant but preserves 'em to delight ye,  Duke. 
I thank ye Lady, I am bold to visit ye.  
Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet beauty,  
Thas been a long night since you left the Court,  
For till I saw you now, no day broke to me.  Marg. 
Bring in the Duke's meat.  Sanc. 
She is most excellent.  Iuan. 
Most admirable fair as ere I looked on,  
I had rather command her then my regiment.  Caca. 
I'll have a fling, 'tis but a thousand Ducats,  
Which I can cozen up again in ten days,  
And some few jewels to justify my knavery,  
Say I should marry her, she'll get more money  
Than all my usury, put my knavery to it,  
She appears the most unfallible way of purchase,  
I could wish her a size or two stronger, for the encounter,  
For I am like a Lion where I lay hold,  
But these Lambs will endure a plaguy load,  
And never bleat neither, that sir, time has taught us.  
I am so virtuous now, I cannot speak to her,  
The arrantest shame faced ass, I broil away too.  Enter Leon. Marg. 
Why where's this dinner?  Leon. 
'tis not ready Madam,  
Nor shall not be until I know the guests too,  
Nor are they fairly welcome till I bid 'em.  Iuan. 
Is not this my Alferese he looks another thing,  
Are miracles afoot again?  Marg. 
Why sirrah, why sirrah you.  Leon. 
I hear you saucy woman,  
And as you are my wife command your absence,  
And know your duty, 'tis the crown of modesty.  Duke. 
Your wife?  Leon. 
Yes good my Lord, I am her husband,  
And pray take notice that I claim that honour,  
And will maintain it.  Caca. 
If thou be'st her husband,  
I am determined thou shall be my Cuckold,  
I'll be thy faithful friend.  Leon. 
Peace dirt and dunghill,  
I will not lose my anger on a rascal,  
Provoke me more, I'll beat thy blown body  
Till thou rebound'st again like a Tennis ball.  Alon. 
This is miraculous.  Sanc. 
Is this the fellow  
That had the patience to become a fool,  
A flirt fool, and on a sudden break,  
As if he would show a wonder to the world  
Both into bravery, and fortune too,  
I much admire the man, I am astonished.  Marg. 
I'll be divorced immediately  Leon. 
You shall not.  
You shall not have so much will to be wicked.  
I am more tender of your honour Lady,  
And of your age, you took me for a shadow.  
You took me to gloss over your discredit,  
To be your fool, you had thought you had found a coxcomb;  
I am innocent of any foul dishonour I mean to ye,  
Only I will be known to be your Lord now,  
And be a fair one too, or I will fall for't.  Marg. 
I do command ye from me thou poor fellow,  
Thou cozened fool.  Leon. 
Thou cozened fool, 'tis not so,  
I will not be commanded: I am above ye:  
You may divorce me from your favour Lady,  
But from your state you never shall, I'll hold that,  
And hold it to my use, the law allows it,  
And then maintain your wantonness I'll wink at it.  Marg. 
Am I braved thus in mine own house.  Leon. 
'tis mine Madam,  
You are deceived I am Lord of it, I rule it and all that's in't,  
You have nothing to do here Madam,  
But as a servant to sweep clean the lodgings,  
And at my farther will to do me service,  
And so I'll keep it.  Marg. 
As you love me give way.  Leon. 
It shall be better,  
I will give none madam,  
I stand upon the ground of mine own honour  
And will maintain it, you shall know me now,  
To be an understanding feeling man,  
And sensible of what a woman aims at,  
A young proud woman that has will to sail with,  
An itching woman, that her blood provokes too,  
I cast my cloud off and appear myself,  
The master of this little piece of mischief,  
And I will put a spell about your feet Lady,  
They shall not wander but where I give way now.  Duk. 
Is this the fellow that the people pointed at,  
For the mere sign of man, the walking image,  
He speaks wondrous highly.  Leon 
As a husband ought sir,  
In his own house, and it becomes me well too,  
I think your grace would grieve if you were put to it,  
To have a wife or servant of your own,  
For wives are reckoned in the rank of servants,  
Under your own roof to command ye.  Iuan. 
Brave, a strange conversion, thou shalt lead  
In chief now.  Duk. 
Is there no difference betwixt her and you sir.  Leon. 
Not now Lord, my Fortune makes me even,  
And as I am an honest man, I am nobler.  Marg. 
Get me my coach.  Leon. 
Let me see who dare get it  
Till I command, I'll make him draw your coach too,  
And eat your Coach, (which will be hard diet)  
That executes your will; or take your coach Lady,  
I give you liberty, and take your people.  
Which I turn off, and take your will abroad with ye,  
Take all these freely, but take me no more,  
And so farewell.  Duk. 
Nay sir you shall not carry it  
So bravely off, you shall not wrong a Lady  
In a high huffing strain, and think to bear it,  
We stand not by as bawds to your brave fury,  
To see a Lady weep.  Leon. 
They are tears of anger, I beseech ye note 'em not worth pity,  
Wrung from her rage, because her will prevails not,  
She would sound now if she could not cry,  
Else they were excellent and I should grieve too,  
But falling thus, they show nor sweet nor orient,  
Put up my Lord, this is oppression,  
And calls the sword of justice to relieve me,  
The Law to lend her hand, the king to right me,  
All which shall understand how you provoke me,  
In mine own house to brave me, is this princely,  
Then to my guard, and if I spare your Grace,  
And do not make this place your monument,  
Too rich a tomb for such a rude behaviour,  
I have a cause will kill a thousand of ye, mercy forsake me.  Iuan. 
Hold fair sir I beseech ye,  
The Gentleman but pleads his own right nobly.  Leon. 
He that dares strike against the husband's freedom,  
The husband's curse stick to him, a tamed cuckold,  
His wife be fair and young, but most dishonest,  
Most impudent, and have no feeling of it,  
No conscience to reclaim her from a Monster,  
Let her lie by him like a flattering ruin,  
And at one instant kill both name and honour,  
Let him be lost, no eye to weep his end,  
Nor find no earth that's base enough to bury him,  
Now sir fall on, I am ready to oppose ye.  Duk. 
I have better thought, I pray sir use your wife well.  Leon. 
Mine own humanity will teach me that sir,  
And now you are all welcome, all, and we'll to dinner,  
This is my wedding day.  Duk. 
I'll cross your joy yet.  Iu. 
I have seen a miracle, hold thine own soldier,  
Sure they dare fight in fire that conquer women.  Sanc. 
Has beaten all my loose thoughts out of me,  
As if he had threshtum out o'th' husk.  Enter Perez. Per. 
Save ye, which is the Lady of the house.  Leon. 
That's she sir, that pretty Lady,  
If you would speak with her.  Iu. 
Don Michael Leon, another darer come?  Per. 
Pray do not know me, I am full of business,  
When I have more time I'll be merry with ye,  
It is the woman, good madam tell me truly,  
Had you a maid called Estifania?  Marg. 
Yes truly had I.  Per. 
Was she a maid do you think?  Marg. 
I dare not swear for her,  
For she had but a scant fame.  Per. 
Was she your kinswoman?  Marg. 
Not that I ever knew, now I look better  
I think you married her, give you much joy sir,  
You may reclaim her 'twas a wild young girl.  Per. 
Give me a halter, is not this house mine Madam.  
Was not she owner of it, pray speak truly.  Marg 
No, certainly, I am sure my money paid for it,  
And I ne'er remember yet I gave it you sir.  Per. 
The hangings and the plate too?  Marg. 
All are mine sir,  
And every thing you see about the building,  
She only kept my house when I was absent,  
And so ill kept it, I was weary of her.  Sanch. 
What a Devil ails he?  juan 
Is possessed I'll assure you.  Per. 
Where is your maid?  Marg. 
Do not you know that have her?  
She is yours now, why should I look after her,  
Since that first hour I came I never saw her.  Per. 
I saw her later would the Devil had had her,  
It is all true I find, a wildfire take.  Iuan. 
Is thy wife with child Don Michael? thy excellent wife.  
Art thou a man yet.  Alon. 
When shall we come and visit thee?  Sanc. 
And eat some rare fruit, thou hast admirable Orchards,  
You are so jealous now, pox a your jealousy,  
How scurvily you look.  Per. 
Pre thee leave fooling,  
I am in no humour now to fool and prattle,  
Did she ne'er play the wag with you.  Marg. 
Yes many times, so often that I was ashamed to keep her,  
But I forgave her sir, in hope she would mend still,  
And had not you o'th' instant married her,  
I had put her off.  Per. 
I thank ye I am blessed still,  
Which way soe'er I turn I am a made man,  
Miserably gulled beyond recovery.  Iuan. 
You'll stay and dine.  Per. 
Certain I cannot Captain,  
Hark in thine ear, I am the arrant'st puppy,  
The miserablest Ass, but I must leave ye,  
I am in haste, in haste, bless ye good madam,  
And you prove as good as my wife. Exit.  Leon. 
Will you come near sir, will your grace but honour me,  
And taste our dinner, you are nobly welcome,  
All anger's past I hope, and I shall serve ye.  Iuan. 
Thou art the stock of men, and I admire thee. Exeūt.   

ACTUS 4. SCENA 1.  Enter Perez. Per. 
I'll go to a conjurer but I'll find this polecat,  
This pilfering whore, a plague of veils I cry,  
And covers for the impudence of women,  
Their sanctity in show will deceive Devils,  
It is my evil Angel let me bless me.  Enter Estifania with a Casket. Estif. 
'tis he, I am caught, I must stand to it stoutly,  
And show no shake of fear, I see he is angry,  
Vexed at the uttermost.  Per. 
My worthy wife,  
I have been looking of your modesty,  
All the town over.  Estif. 
My most noble husband,  
I am glad I have found ye, for in truth I am weary,  
Weary and lame with looking out your Lordship.  Per. 
I have been in bawdy houses.  Estif. 
I believe ye, and very lately too.  Per. 
Pray ye pardon me,  
To seek your Ladyship, I have been in cellars,  
In private cellars, where the thirsty bawds  
Hear your confessions; I have been at plays,  
To look you out amongst the youthful actors,  
At Puppet shows, you are Mistress of the motions;  
At gosshippings I hearkened after ye,  
But amongst those confusions of lewd tongues  
There's no distinguishing beyond a Babel.  
I was amongst the Nuns because you sing well,  
But they say yours are bawdy songs, they mourn for ye,  
And last I went to Church to seek you out,  
'tis so long since you were there, they have forgot ye.  Estif. 
You have had a pretty progress, I'll tell mine now  
To look you out, I went to twenty Taverns.  Per. 
And are you sober?  Estif. 
Yes, I reel not yet sir,  
Where I saw twenty drunk most of 'em soldiers,  
There I had great hope to find you disguised too.  
From hence toth' dicing house, there I found  
Quarrels needless, and senseless, swords, and pots, and candlesticks,  
Tables, and stools, and all in one confusion,  
And no man knew his friend, I left this Chaos,  
And to the Chirurgeons went, he willed me stay,  
For says he learnedly, if he be tippled,  
Twenty to one he whores, and then I bear of him.  
If he be mad, he quarrels, then he comes too,  
I sought ye where no safe thing would have ventured  
Amongst diseases, base, and vild, vild women,  
For I remembered your old Roman axiom,  
The more the danger, still the more the honour.  
Last to your Confessor I came, who told me  
You were too proud to pray, and here I have found ye.  Per. 
She bears up bravely and the rogue is witty,  
But I shall dash it instantly to nothing,  
Here leave we off our wanton languages,  
And now conclude we in a sharper tongue.  Estif. 
Why am I cozened,  
Why am I abused.  Perez. 
Thou most vild, base, abominable.  Estif. 
Captain.  Perez. 
Thou stinking overstewd, poor, pocky  Estif. 
Captain.  Perez. 
Do you Echo me?  Estif. 
Yes Sir, and go before ye,  
And round about ye, why do you rail at me  
For that, that was your own sin, your own knavery.  Perez. 
And brave me too.  Estif. 
You had best now draw your sword Captain,  
Draw it upon a woman, do brave Captain,  
Upon your wife, oh most renowned Captain.  Perez. 
A plague upon thee, answer me directly,  
Why didst thou marry me?  Estif. 
To be my husband;  
I had thought you had had infinite, but i'm cozened.  Perez. 
Why didst thou flatter me, and show me wonders,  
A house, and riches, when they are but shadows,  
Shadows to me.  Estif. 
Why did you work on me,  
It was but my part to requite you Sir,  
With your strong soldier's wit, and swore you would bring me  
So much in chains, so much in jewels husband,  
So much in right rich clothes.  Perez. 
Thou hast 'em rascal  
I gave 'em to thy hands, my trunks and all;  
And thou hast opened 'em, and sold my treasure.  Estif. 
Sir, There's your treasure, sell it to a tinker  
To mend old kettles, is this noble usage,  
Let all the world view here the captain's treasure,  
A man would think now these were worthy matters:  
Here's a shooing-horn chain, gilt over, how it scenteth  
Worse than the mouldy dirty heel it served for,  
And here's another of a lesser value,  
So little, I would shame to tie my dog in't,  
These are my jointure, blush and save a labour,  
Or these else will blush for ye.  Perez. 
A fire subtle ye, are ye so crafty.  Estif. 
Here's a goodly jewel,  
Did not you win this at Goletta Captain,  
Or took it in the field from some brave Bashaw,  
How it sparkles like an old lady's eyes,  
And fills each room with light like a close lantern,  
This would do rarely in an Abbey window,  
To x Pilgrims.  Perez. 
Prithee leave prating.  Estif. 
And here's a chain of whitings eyes for pearls,  
A mussel-monger would have made a better.  Perez. 
Nay, prithee wife, my clothes, my clothes.  Estif. 
I'll tell ye,  
Your clothes are parallels to these, all counterfeit.  
Put these and them on, you are a man of copper,  
A kind of candlestick, these you thought my husband,  
To have cozened me withal, but I am quit with you.  Perez. 
Is there no house then, nor no grounds about it?  
No plate nor hangings?  Estif. 
There are none sweet husband,  
Shadow for shadow is an equal justice,  
Can you rail now, pray put your fury up sir,  
And speak great words, you are a soldier, thunder.  Perez. 
I will speak little, I have played the fool,  
And so I am rewarded.  Estif. 
You have spoke well sir,  
And now I see you are so conformable,  
I'll heighten you again, go to your house,  
They are packing to be gone, you must sup there,  
I'll meet ye, and bring clothes, and clean shirts after,  
And all things shall be well; I'll colt ye once more,  
And teach ye to bring copper.  Perez. 
Tell me one thing,  
I do beseech thee tell me, tell me truth wife,  
However I forgive thee, art thou honest,  
The Beldame swore.  Estif. 
I bid her tell you so sir,  
It was my plot, alas my credulous husband,  
The Lady told you too.  Perez. 
Most strange things of thee.  Estif. 
Still 'twas my way, and all to try your sufferance,  
And she denied the house.  Per. 
She knew me not;  
No, nor no title that I had.  Estif. 
'twas well carried;  
No more, I am right and straight.  Perez. 
I would believe thee,  
But heaven knows how my heart is, will ye follow me.  Estif. 
I'll be there straight.  Per. 
I am fooled, yet dare not find it. Exit Perez.  Estif. 
Go silly fool, thou mayst be a good soldier  
In open field, but for our private service  
Thou art an ass, I'll make thee so or miss else. Ent. Cac.  
Here comes another Trout that I must tickle,  
And tickle daintily, I have lost my end else.  Estif. 
May I crave your leave sir?  Caca. 
Prithee be answered, thou shalt crave no leave,  
I am in my meditations, do not vex me,  
A beaten thing, but this hour a most bruised thing,  
That people had compassion on, it looked so.  
The next Sir Palmerin, here's fine proportion,  
An Ass, and then an Elephant, sweet justice,  
There's no way left to come at her now, no craving,  
If money could come near, yet I would pay him;  
I have a mind to make him a huge cuckold,  
And money may do much, a thousand ducats,  
'tis but the letting blood of a rank heir.  Estif. 
Pray ye hear me.  Caca. 
I know thou hast some wedding ring to pawn now.  
Of Silver and guilt with a blind posy in't,  
Love and a mill-horse should go round together,  
Or thy child's whistle, or thy squirrels chain,  
I'll none of 'em, I would she did but know me,  
Or would this fellow had but use of money,  
That I might come in any way.  Estif. 
I am gone sir,  
And I shall tell the beauty sent me to ye,  
The Lady Margarita.  Caca. 
Stay I prithee,  
What is thy will, I turn me wholly to ye,  
And talk now till thy tongue ache, I will hear ye.  Estif. 
She would entreat ye sir.  Cac. 
She shall command sir,  
Let it be so I beseech thee my sweet gentlewoman,  
Do not forget thyself.  Estif. 
She does command then,  
This courtesy, because she knows you are noble.  Caca. 
Your Mistress by the way.  Estif. 
My natural Mistress,  
Upon these jewels sir, they are fair and rich,  
And view 'em right.  Caca. 
To doubt 'em is an heresy.  Estif. 
A thousand ducats, 'tis upon necessity  
Of present use, her husband sir is stubborn.  Cac. 
Long may he be so.  Estif. 
She desires withal, a better knowledge of your parts and person,  
And when you please to do her so much honour.  Cac. 
Comelet's dispatch.  Estif. 
In troth I have heard her say sir,  
Of a fat man she has not seen a sweeter,  
But in this business sir.  Cac. 
Let's do it first  
And then dispute, the Lady's use may long for't.  Estif. 
All secrecy she would desire, she told me  
How wise you are.  Cac. 
We are not wise to talk thus,  
Carry her the gold, I'll look her out a jewel,  
Shall sparkle like her eyes, and thee another,  
Come pre thee come, I long to serve thy lady,  
Long monstrously, now valour I shall meet ye,  
You that dare Dukes.  Estif. 
Green goose you are now in sippets. Exeunt.  Enter the Duke, Sanchio, juan, Alonzo. Duk. 
He shall not have his will, I shall prevent him,  
I have a toy here that will turn the tide,  
And suddenly, and strangely, here Don juan,  
Do you present it to him.  Iuan. 
I am commanded. Exit.  Duk. 
A fellow founded out of Charity,  
And moulded to the height contemn his maker,  
curb the freehand that framed him? This must not be.  Sanc. 
That such an oyster shell should hold a pearl,  
And of so rare a price in prison,  
Was she made to be the matter of her own undoing,  
To let a slovenly unwieldy fellow,  
unruly and self willed, dispose her beauties,  
We suffer all sir in this sad Eclipse,  
She should shine where she might show like herself,  
An absolute sweetness, to comfort those admire her,  
And shed her beams upon her friends.  Sanc. 
We are gulled all,  
And all the world will grumble at your patience,  
If she be ravished thus.  Duk. 
Never fear it Sanchio,  
we'll have her free again, and move at Court,  
In her clear orb, but one sweet handsomeness,  
To bless this part of Spain, and have that slubbered.  Alon. 
'tis every good man's cause, and we must stir in it.  Duke 
I'll warrant he shall be glad to please us,  
And glad to share too, we shall hear anon  
A new song from him, let's attend a little. Exeunt.  Ent. Leon, and juan with a commission. Leon. 
colonel, I am bound to you for this nobleness,  
I should have been your officer, 'tis true sir,  
And a proud man I should have been to have served you.  
'thas pleased the King out of his boundless favours,  
To make me your companion, this commission  
Gives me a troop of horse.  Iuan. 
I rejoice at it,  
And am a glad man we shall gain your company,  
I am sure the King knows you are newly married,  
And out of that respect gives you more time sir.  Leon. 
Within four days I am gone, so he commands me,  
And 'tis not mannerly for me to argue it,  
The time grows shorter still, are your goods ready.  Iuan. 
They are aboard.  Leon. 
Who waits there?  Enter Servant. ser. 
Sir.  Leon. 
Do you hear ho, go carry this unto your Mistress sir,  
And leather see how much the King has honoured me,  
Bid her be lusty, she must make a soldier. Exit.  Enter Lorenzo. Lor. 
Sir,  
Go take down all the hangings,  
And pack up all my clothes, my plate and jewels,  
And all the furniture that's portable,  
Sir when we lie in garrison, 'tis necessary  
We keep a handsome port, for the king's honour;  
And do you hear, let all your lady's wardrobe  
Be safely placed in trunks, they must along too.  Lor. 
Whether must they go sir.  Leon. 
To the wars Lorenzo,  
And you and all, I will not leave a turnspit,  
That has one dram of spleen against a Dutchman.  Lor. 
Why then St jaques heigh, you have made us all sit,  
And if we leave ye, does my Lady go too.  Leon. 
The stuff must go tomorrow towards the sea sir,  
All all must go.  Lor. 
Why Pedro, vasco, Dego.  
Come help me, come come boys, soldadoes, comrades,  
we'll flay these beer-bellied rogues, come away quickly.  Exit. Iuan. 
Has taken a brave way to save his honour,  
And cross the Duke, now I shall love him dearly,  
By the life of credit thou art a noble gentleman.  Enter Margarita led by two Ladies. Leon. 
Why how now wife, what sick at my preferment,  
This is not kindly done.  Marg. 
No sooner love ye,  
Love ye entirely sir, brought to consider  
The goodness of your mind and mine own duty,  
But lose you instantly, be divorced from ye,  
This is a cruelty, I'll to the King  
And tell him 'tis unjust to part two souls,  
Too minds so nearly mixed.  Leon. 
By no means sweet heart.  Marg. 
if he were married but four days as I am.  Leon. 
He would hang himself the fift, or fly his Country.  Marg. 
He would make it treason for that tongue that durst  
But talk of war, or any thing to vex him,  
You shalt not go.  Leon. 
Indeed I must sweet wife,  
What shall I lose the King for a few kisses,  
we'll have enough.  Marg. 
I'll to the Duke my cousin, he shall to th'King.  Leon. 
He did me this great office,  
I thank his grace for't, should I pray him now,  
To undo't again, fie 'twere a base discredit.  Marg. 
Would I were able sir to bear you company,  
How willing should I be then, and how merry,  
I will not live alone.  Leon. 
Be in peace you shall not. knock within.  Mar. 
What knock's this, oh heaven my head, why rascals  
I think the war's begun i'th' house already.  Leon. 
The preparation is, they are taking down,  
And packing up the hangings, plate and jewels,  
And all those furnitures that shall befit me  
When I lie in garrison.  Enter Coachman. Coachm. 
Must the Coach go too Sir?  Leon. 
How will your Lady pass toth' sea else easily?  
We shall find shipping for't there to transport it.  Marg. 
I go alas.  Leon. 
I'll have a main care of ye,  
I know ye are sickly, he shall drive the easier,  
And all accommodation shall attend ye.  Marg. 
Would I were able,  Leon. 
Come I warrant ye,  
Am not I with ye sweet, are her clothes packed up,  
And all her linens? give your Maid's direction,  
You know my times but short, and I am commanded.  Marg. 
Let me have a nurse,  
And all such necessary people with me,  
And an easy bark.  Leon. 
It shall not trot I warrant ye,  
Curve at it may sometimes.  Marg. 
I am with child sir.  Leon. 
At four days' warning, this is something speedy,  
Do you conceive as our jennets do with a west wind,  
My heir will be an arrant fleet one Lady,  
I'll swear you were a maid when I first lay with ye.  Marg. 
Pray do not swear, I thought I was a maid too,  
But we may both be cozened in that point Sir.  Leon. 
In such a straight point sure I could not err Madam.  Iuan. 
This is another tenderness to try him,  
Fetch her up now.  Mar. 
You must provide a cradle, and what a trouble's that.  Leon. 
The sea shall rock it,  
'tis the best nurse; 'twill roar and rock together,  
A swinging storm will sing you such a lullaby.  Marg. 
Faith let me stay, I shall but shame ye Sir.  Leon. 
And you were a thousand shames you shall along with me,  
At home I am sure you'll prove a million,  
Every man carries the bundle of his sins,  
Upon his own back, you are mine, I'll sweat for ye.  Enter Duke, Alonzo, Sanchio. Duke. 
What Sir, preparing for your noble journey?  
'tis well and full of care.  
I saw your mind was wedded to the war,  
And knew you would prove some good man for your country  
Therefore fair cousin with your gentle pardon,  
I got this place, what mourn at his advancement?  
You are too blame, he will come again sweet cousin,  
Mean time like sad Penelope and sage,  
Amongst your maids at home, and huswifely.  Leon. 
No sir, I dare not leave her to that solitariness,  
She is young, and grief or ill news from those quarters  
May daily cross her, she shall go along Sir.  Duke. 
By no means Captain.  Leon. 
By all means an't please ye?  Duke. 
What take a young and tender bodied Lady,  
And expose her to those dangers, and those tumults,  
A sickly Lady too.  Leon. 
'twill make her well Sir,  
There's no such friend to health as wholesome travel.  Sanch. 
Away it must not be.  Alon. 
It ought not Sir,  
Go hurry her, it is not humane Captain.  Duke. 
I cannot blame her tears, fright her with tempests  
With thunder of the war.  
I dare swear if she were able.  Leon. 
she is most able.  
And pray ye swear not, she must go there's no remedy,  
Nor greatness, nor the trick you had to partus,  
Which I smell too rank, too open, too evident  
(And I must tell you Sir, 'tis most unnoble)  
Shall hinder me: had she but ten hours' life,  
Nay less, but two hours, I would have her with me,  
I would not leave her fame to so much ruin,  
To such a desolation and discredit  
As her weakness and your hot will wood work her too.  Enter Perez. Leon. 
What Masque is this now?  
More tropes and figures, to abuse my sufferance,  
What cozen's this?  Iuan. 
Michael van owl, how dost thou?  
In what dark barn or tod of aged ivy  
Hast thou lain hid?  Per. 
Things must both ebb and flow colonel,  
And people must conceal, and shine again.  
You are welcome hither as your friend may say Gentleman,  
A pretty house ye see handsomely seated,  
Sweet and convenient walks, the water's crystal.  Alon. 
He's certain mad.  Iuan. 
As mad as a French Tailor,  
That has nothing in's head but ends of fustians.  Perez. 
I see you are packing now my gentle cousin,  
And my wife told me I should find it so,  
'tis true I do, you were merry when I was last here,  
But 'twas your will to try my patience Madam.  
I am sorry that my swift occasions  
Can let you take your pleasure here no longer,  
Yet I would have you think my honoured cozen,  
This house and all I have are all your servants.  Leon 
What house, what pleasure sir, what do you mean?  Perez. 
You hold the jest so stiff, 'twill prove discourteous,  
This house I mean, the pleasures of this place.  Leon. 
And what of them?  Per. 
They are mine Sir, and you know it,  
My wives I mean, and so conferred upon me,  
The hangings sir I must entreat, your servants,  
That are so busy in their offices,  
Again to minister to their right uses,  
I shall take view o'th' plate anon, and furnitures  
That are of under place, you are merry still cozen,  
And of a pleasant constitution,  
Men of great fortunes make their mirths ad placitum.  Leon. 
Prithee good stubborn wife, tell me directly,  
Good evil wife leave fooling and tell me honestly,  
Is this my kinsman?  Marg. 
I can tell ye nothing.  Leon. 
I have many kinsmen, but so mad a one,  
And so fantastic, all the house.  Perez. 
All mine,  
And all within it, I will not bate ye an ace on't,  
Can you not receive a noble courtesy,  
And quietly and handsomely as ye ought coz,  
But you must ride oath top on't.  Leon. 
Canst thou fight?  Per. 
I'll tell ye presently, I could have done sir.  Leon. 
For ye must law and claw before ye get it.  Iuan. 
Away, no quarrels.  Leon. 
Now I am more temperate,  
I'll have it proved if you were never yet in Bedlam,  
Never in love for that's a lunacy,  
No great state left ye that you never looked for,  
Nor cannot manage, that's a rank distemper  
That you were christened, and who answered for ye,  
And then I yield.  Per. 
Has half persuaded me I was bred i'th' moon,  
I have ne'er a bush at my breech, are not we both mad,  
And is not this a fantastic house we are in,  
And all a dream we do, will ye walk out sir,  
And if I do not beat thee presently  
Into a sound belief, as sense can give thee,  
Brick me into that wall there for a chimney piece,  
And say I was one oath Caesars, done by a seal-cutter.  Leon. 
I'll talk no more, come we'll away immediately.  Marg. 
Why then the house is his, and all that's in it,  
I'll give away my skin but I'll undo ye,  
I gave it to his wife, you must restore Sir,  
And make a new provision.  Per. 
Am I mad now or am I christened, you my pagan cozen  
My mighty Mahound kinsman, what quirk now;  
You shall be welcome all, I hope to see sir  
Your Grace here, and my coz, we are all soldiers,  
And must do naturally for one another.  Duke. 
Are ye blank at this, then I must tell ye Sir,  
Ye have no command, now ye may go at pleasure  
And ride your ass troop, 'twas a trick I use  
To try your jealousy upon entreaty,  
And saving of your wife.  Leon. 
All this not moves me,  
Nor stirs my gall, nor altars my affections,  
You have more furniture, more houses Lady,  
And rich ones too, I will make bold with those,  
And you have Land i'th' Indies as I take it,  
Thither we'll go, and view a while those climates,  
Visit your Factors there, that may betray ye,  
'tis done, we must go.  Marg. 
Now thou art a brave Gentleman,  
And by this sacred light I love thee dearly,  
The house is none of yours, I did but jest Sir,  
Nor you are no coz of mine, I beseech ye vanish,  
I tell you plain, you have no more right than he  
Has, that senseless thing, your wife has once more fooled ye:  
Go ye and consider.  Leon. 
Good morrow my sweet cousin, I should be glad sir.  Per. 
By this hand she dies for't,  
Or any man that speaks for her. Exit Per.  Iuan. 
These are fine toys.  Marg. 
Let me request you stay but one poor month,  
You shall have a Commission and I'll go too,  
Give me but will so far.  Leon. 
Well I will try ye,  
Good morrow to your Grace, we have private business.  Duke. 
If I miss thee again, I am an arrant bungler.  Iuan. 
Thou shalt have my command, and I'll march under thee,  
Nay be thy boy before thou shalt be baffled,  
Thou art so brave a fellow.  Alon. 
I have seen visions. Exeunt.   

ACTUS. 5. SCENA. 1.  Enter Leon with a letter, and Margarita. Leon 
Come hither wife, do you know this hand?  Marg 
I do Sir.  
'tis Estifanias, that was once my woman.  Leon. 
She writes to me here, that one Cacafogo  
A usuring jeweller's son (I know the rascal)  
Is mortally fallen in love with ye.  Marg 
Is a monster, deliver me from mountains.  Leon. 
Do you go a birding for all sorts of people,  
And this evening will come to ye and show ye jewels,  
And offers any thing to get access to ye,  
if I can make or sport or profit on him,  
(For he is fit for both) she bids me use him,  
And so I will, be you conformable, and follow but my will.  Marg. 
I shall not fail sir  Leon. 
Will the Duke come again do you think.  Marg. 
No sure Sir,  
Has now no policy to bring him hither  Leon. 
Nor bring you to him, if my wit hold fair wife:  
Let's in to dinner. Exeunt.  Enter Perez. Perez. 
Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently,  
That all the queans in Christendom might hear me,  
That men might run away from contagion,  
I had my wish; would it were most high treason,  
Most infinite high, for any man to marry,  
I mean for any man that would live handsomely,  
And like a Gentleman, in his wits and credit,  
What torments shall I put her to, Phalaris bull now,  
Pox they love bulling too well, though they smoke for't,  
Cut her apieces, every piece will live still,  
And every morsel of her will do mischief;  
They have so many lives, there's no hanging of 'em  
They are too light to drown, they are cork and feathers,  
To burn too cold, they live like Salamanders;  
Under huge heaps of stones to bury her,  
And so depress her as they did the Giants;  
She will move under more than built old Babel,  
I must destroy her.  Enter Cacafogo with a Casket. Cac. 
Be cozened by a thing of clouts, a she moth,  
That every silkman's shop breeds; to be cheated,  
And of a thousand ducats by a whim-wham.  Per. 
Who's that is cheated, speak again thou vision,  
But art thou cheated? minister some comfort,  
Tell me directly art thou cheated bravely,  
Come, prithee come, art thou so pure a coxcomb  
To be und one, do not dissemble with me,  
Tell me I conjure thee.  Cac. 
Then keep thy circle,  
For I am a spirit wild that flies about thee,  
And who ere thou art, if thou be'st human  
I'll let thee plainly know, I am cheated damnably.  Per. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Cac. 
Dost thou laugh damnably, I say most damnably.  Per. 
By whom, good spirit speak, speak ha, ha, ha.  Cac. 
I will utter, laugh till thy lungs crack, by a rascal woman,  
A lewd, abominable, and plain woman?  
Dost thou laugh still.  Per. 
I must laugh, prithee pardon me,  
I shall laugh terribly.  Cac. 
I shall be angry, terrible angry, I have cause.  Per. 
That's it, and 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry,  
Angry at heart, yet I must laugh still at thee,  
By a woman cheated, art' sure it was a woman?  Cac. 
I shall break thy head, my valour itches at thee.  Per. 
It is no matter, by a woman cozened,  
A real woman.  Cac. 
A real devil,  
Plague of her jewels and her copper chains  
How rank they smell.  Per. 
Sweet cozened sir let me see them,  
I have been cheated too, I would have you note that  
And lewdly cheated, by a woman also,  
A scurvy woman, I am undone sweet Sir,  
Therefore I must have leave to laugh.  Cac. 
Pray ye take it,  
You are the merriest undone man in Europe.  
What need we fiddles, bawdy songs and sack,  
When our own miseries can make us merry.  Per. 
Ha, ha, ha.  
I have seen these jewels, what a notable pennyworth  
Have you had next your heart, you will not take Sir  
Some twenty Ducats.  Cac. 
Thou art deceived I will take.  Per. 
To clear your bargain now.  Cac. 
I'll take some ten, some any thing, some half ten,  
Half a Ducat.  Per. 
An excellent lapidary set these stones sure,  
Do you mark their waters?  Cac. 
Quicksand choke their waters,  
And hers that bought 'em too, but I shall find her.  Per. 
And so shall I, I hope, but do not hurt her,  
You cannot find in all this kingdom,  
If you had need of cozening, as you may have,  
For such gross natures will desire it often,  
'tis at some time too a fine variety,  
A woman that can cozen ye so neatly,  
She has taken half mine anger off with this trick. Exit.  Cac. 
If I were valiant now, I would kill this fellow,  
I have money enough lies by me at a pinch  
To pay for twenty rascals lives that vex me,  
I'll to this Lady, there I shall be satisfied. Exit.  Enter Leon, and Margarita. Leon. 
Come, we'll away unto your country house,  
And there we'll learn to live contently,  
This place is full of charge, and full of hurry,  
No part of sweetness dwells about these cities.  Marg. 
Whether you will, I wait upon your pleasure;  
Live in a hollow tree Sir, I'll live with ye.  Leon. 
ay, now you strike a harmony a true one,  
When your obedience waits upon your husband,  
And your sick will aims at the care of honour,  
Why now I dote upon ye, love ye dearly,  
And my rough nature falls like roaring streams,  
Clearly and sweetly into your embraces,  
O what a jewel is a woman excellent,  
A wise a virtuous and a noble woman,  
When we meet such, we bear our stamps on both sides,  
And through the world we hold our currant virtues,  
Alone we are single medals, only faces,  
And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows,  
Command you now, and ease me of that trouble,  
I'll be as humble to you as a servant,  
Bid whom you please, invite your noble friends,  
They shall be welcome all, visit acquaintance,  
Go at your pleasure, now experience  
Has linked you fast unto the chain of goodness: Clashing swords. A cry within, down with their swords.  
What noise is this, what dismal cry.  Mar. 
'tis loud too.  
Sure there's some mischief done i'th' street look out there.  Leon. 
Look out and help.  Enter a Servant. Ser. 
Oh sir the Duke Medina.  Leon. 
What of the Duke Medina.  Ser. 
Oh sweet gentleman, is all most slain.  Marg. 
A way a way & help him, all the house help. Exit  Leon. 
How slain? why Margarita, Servant.  
Why wife, sure some new device they have afoot again,  
Some trick upon my credit, I shall meet it,  
I had rather guide a ship Imperial  
Alone, and in a storm, then rule one woman.  Enter Duke, Margarita, Sanchio, Alonzo, Servant. Marg. 
How came ye hurt sir?  Duke. 
I fell out with my friend the noble colonel,  
My cause was nought, for 'twas about your honour:  
And he that wrongs the Innocent ne'er prospers;  
And he has left me thus for charity,  
Lend me a bed to ease my tortured body,  
That ere I perish I may show my penitence,  
I fear I am slain.  Leon. 
Help gentlemen to carry him,  
There shall be nothing in this house my Lord,  
But as your own.  Duk. 
I thank ye noble sir.  Leon. 
To bed with him, and wife give your attendance.  Enter Iuan. Iuan. 
Doctors and surgeons.  Duk. 
Do not disquiet me,  
But let me take my leave in peace. Exit Duke. Sanch. Alon. Marg. Servants.  Leon. 
Afore me,  
'tis rarely counterfeited.  Iuan. 
True, it is so sir,  
And take you heed, this last blow do not spoil ye,  
He is not hurt, only we made a scuffle,  
As though we purposed anger, that same scratch  
On's hand he took, to colour all and draw compassion,  
That he might get into your house more cunningly,  
I must not stay, stand now, and you're a brave fellow.  Leon. 
I thank ye noble colonel, and I honour ye, Exit Iuan.  
Never be quiet.  Enter Margarita. Marg. 
He's most desperate ill sir,  
I do not think these ten months will recover him.  Leon. 
Does he hire my house to play the fool in,  
Or does it stand on Fairy ground we are haunted,  
Are all men and their wives troubled with dreams thus.  Marg. 
What ail you sir?  Leon. 
Nay what ail you sweet wife  
To put these daily pastimes on my patience,  
What dost thou see in me, that I should suffer thus,  
Have not I done my part like a true husband,  
And paid some desperate debts you never looked for.  Marg. 
You have done handsomely I must confess sir.  Leon. 
Have I not kept thee waking like a hawk?  
And watched thee with delights to satisfy thee?  
The very tithes of which had won a widow.  Marg. 
Alas I pity ye.  Leon. 
Thou wilt make me angry,  
Thou never sawst me mad yet.  Marg. 
You are always,  
You carry a kind of bedlam still about ye.  Leon. 
If thou pursuest me farther I run stark mad,  
If you have more hurt Dukes or Gentlemen,  
To lie here on your cure, I shall be desperate,  
I know the trick, and you shall feel I know it,  
Are ye so hot that no hedge can contain ye,  
I'll have thee let blood in all the veins about thee,  
I'll have thy thoughts found too, and have them opened,  
Thy spirits purged, for those are they that fire ye,  
Thy maid shall be thy Mistress thou the maid,  
And all those servile labours that she reach at,  
And go through cheerfully, or else sleep empty,  
That maid shall lie by me to teach you duty,  
You in a palate by to humble ye,  
And grieve for what you lose.  Marg. 
I have lost myself sir,  
And all that was my base self, disobedience, kneels  
My wantonness my stubbornness I have lost too,  
And now by that pure faith good wives are crowned with,  
By your own nobleness.  Enter Altea. Leon. 
I take ye up and wear ye next my heart,  
See you be worth it. Now what with you?  Altea. 
I come to tell my Lady,  
There is a fulsome fellow would fain speak with her.  Leon. 
'tis Cacafogo go and entertain him,  
And draw him on with hopes.  Mar. 
I shall observe ye.  Leon. 
I have a rare design upon that gentleman,  
And you must work too.  Alt. 
I shall sir most willingly.  Leon. 
A way then both, & keep him close in some place  
From the Duke's sight, and keep the Duke in too,  
Make 'em believe both, I'll find time to cure 'em. Exeunt.  Enter Perez, and Estifania with a Pistol, and a Dag. Per. 
Why how dar'st thou meet me again thou rebel,  
And know'st how thou hast used me thrice, thou rascal,  
Were there not ways enough to fly my vengeance,  
No holes nor vaults to hide thee from my fury,  
But thou must meet me face to face to kill thee?  
I would not seek thee to destroy thee willingly,  
But now thou comest to invite me,  
And comest upon me,  
How like a sheep biting Rogue taken i'th' manner,  
And ready for the halter dost thou look now,  
Thou hast a hanging look thou scurvy thing, hast ne'er a knife  
Nor never a string to lead thee to Elysium?  
Be there no pitiful Pothecaries in this town,  
That have compassion upon wretched women,  
And dare administer a dram of ratsbane,  
But thou must fall to me?  Estif. 
I know you have mercy.  Per. 
If I had tons of mercy thou deserv'st none,  
What new tricks is now afoot, and what new houses  
Have you i'th' air, what orchards in apparition,  
What canst thou say for thy life?  Estif. 
Little or nothing,  
I know you'll kill me, and I know 'tis useless  
To beg for mercy, pray let me draw my book out,  
And pray a little.  Per. 
do a very little,  
For I have farther business than thy killing,  
I have money yet to borrow, speak when you are ready.  Estif. 
Now now sir now, shows a Pistol.  
Come on, do you start off from me,  
Do you swear great Captain, have you seen a spirit.  Per. 
Do you wear guns.  Estif. 
I am a soldier's wife sir,  
And by that privilege I may be armed,  
Now what's the news, and let's discourse more friendly,  
And talk of our affairs in peace.  Per. 
Let me see,  
Pre thee let me fee thy gun, 'tis a very pretty one.  Estif. 
No no sir you shall feel.  Per. 
Hold ye villain, what thine own husband?  Estif. 
Let mine own husband then,  
Be in's own wits, there, there's a thousand ducats,  
Who must provide for you, and yet you'll kill me.  Per. 
I will not hurt thee for ten thousand millions.  Estif. 
When will you redeem your jewels, I have pawned 'em,  
You see for what, we must keep touch.  Per. 
I'll kiss thee,  
And get as many more, I'll make thee famous,  
Had we the house now.  Estif. 
Come along with me,  
If that be vanished there be more to hire sir.  Per. 
I see I am an ass when thou art near me.  Enter Leon, Margarita, and Altea with a Taper. Leon. 
Is the fool come.  Altea. 
Yes and i'th' cellar fast,  
And there he stays his good hour till I call him,  
He will make dainty music among the sackbuts,  
I have put him just sir, under the Duke's chamber.  Leon. 
It is the better.  Altea. 
Has given me royally,  
And to my Lady a whole load of portigues.  Leon. 
Better and better still, go Margarita,  
Now play your prize, you say you dare be honest,  
I'll put ye to your best.  Marg. 
Secure yourself sir, give me the candle,  
Pass away in silence. Exit Leon and Altea.  She knocks. Duk. 
Who's there, oh oh.  Marg. 
My Lord.  Duke with in. 
Have ye brought me comfort.  Marg. 
I have my Lord, Enter Duke in a gown.  
Come forth 'tis ay, come gently out I'll help ye,  
Come softly too, how do you.  Duk. 
Are there none here,  
Let me look round; we cannot be too wary, noise below.  
Oh let me bless this hour, are you alone sweet friend.  Marg. 
Alone to comfort you. Cacafogo makes a noise below.  Duk. 
What's that you tumble,  
I have heard a noise this half hour under me,  
A fearful noise.  Marg. 
The fat thing's mad i'th' cellar,  
And stumbles from one hog's head to another,  
Two cups more, and he ne'er shall find the way out,  
What do you fear, come, sit down by me cheerfully,  
My husband's safe, how do your wounds.  Duk. 
I have none Lady,  
My wounds I counterfeited cunningly, Noise below.  
And feigned the quarrel too, to enjoy you sweet,  
Let's lose no time, hark the same noise again.  Marg. 
What noise, why look ye pale, I hear no stirring,  
This goblin in the vault will be so tippled,  
You are not well I know by your flying fancy,  
Your body's ill at ease, your wounds.  Duk. 
I have none, I am as lusty and as full of health,  
High in my blood.  Marg. 
Weak in your blood you would say,  
How wretched is my case willing to please ye,  
And find you so disable.  Duke 
Believe me Lady.  Marg. 
I know you will venture all you have to satisfy me,  
Your life I know, but is it fit t'spoil ye,  
Is it my love do you think.  Cacaf. below. 
Here's to the Duke.  Duk. 
It named me certainly,  
I heard it plainly sound.  Marg. 
You are hurt mortally,  
And fitter for your prayers sir than pleasure,  
What starts you make, I would not kiss you wantonly,  
For the world's wealth have I secured my Husband,  
And put all doubts aside to be deluded.  Cacafogo below. 
I come I come.  Duk. 
Heaven bless me.  Marg. 
And bless us both, for sure this is the devil,  
I plainly heard it now, he will come to fetch ye,  
A very spirit, for he spoke under ground,  
And spoke to you just as you would have snatched me,  
You are a wicked man, and sure this haunts ye,  
Would you were out o'th' house.  Duk. 
I would I were,  
A that condition I had leapt a window.  Marg. 
And that's the least leap if you mean to scape sir,  
Why what a frantic man were you to come here,  
What a weak man to counterfeit deep wounds,  
To wound another deeper.  Duk. 
Are you honest then.  Marg. 
Yes then and now, and ever, & excellent honest,  
And exercise this pastime but to show ye,  
Great men are fools sometimes as well as wretches,  
Would you were well hurt with any hope of life,  
Cut to the brains, or run clean through the body,  
To get out quietly as you got in sir,  
I wish it like a friend that loves ye dearly,  
For if my husband take ye, and take ye thus a counterfeit,  
One that would clip his credit out of his honour,  
He must kill ye presently,  
There is no mercy nor an hour of pity,  
And for me to entreat in such an agony,  
Would show me little better than one guilty,  
Have you any mind to a Lady now.  Duk. 
Would I were off fair,  
If ever Lady caught me in a trap more.  Marg. 
If you be well and lusty, fie fie shake not  
You say you love me, come, come bravely now,  
Despise all danger, I am ready for ye.  Duk. 
She mocks my misery, thou cruel Lady.  Marg. 
Thou cruel Lord, wouldst thou betray my honesty,  
Betray it in mine own house, wrong my husband,  
Like a night thief, thou dar'st not name by daylight.  Duk. 
I am most miserable.  Marg. 
You are indeed,  
And like a foolish thing you have made yourself so,  
Could not your own discretion tell ye sir,  
When I was married I was none of yours,  
Your eyes were then commanded to look off me,  
And I now stand in a circle and secure,  
Your spells nor power can never reach my body,  
Mark me but this, and then sir be most miserable,  
'tis sacrilege to violate a wedlock,  
You rob too Templars, make yourself twice guilty,  
You ruin hers, and spot her noble husbands.  Duk. 
Let me be gone, I'll never more attempt ye.  Marg. 
You cannot go, 'tis not in me to save ye,  
Dare ye do ill, and poorly then shrink under it?  
Were I the Duke Medina, I would fight now,  
For you must fight and bravely, it concerns you,  
You do me double wrong if you sneak off sir,  
And all the world would say I loved a coward,  
And you must die too, for you will be killed,  
And leave your youth, your honour and your state,  
And all those dear delights you worshipped here. Noise below.  Duke 
The noise again.  Cacaf. below. 
Some small beer if you love me.  Marg. 
The Devil haunts you sure, your sins are mighty,  
A drunken Devil too, to plague your villainy.  Duk. 
Preserve me but this once.  Marg. 
There's a deep well  
In the next yard, if you dare venture drowning,  
It is but death.  Duk. 
I would not die so wretchedly.  Marg. 
Out of a garret window I'll let you down then,  
But say the rope be rotten, 'tis huge high too.  Duk. 
have you no mercy.  Marg. 
Now you are frighted throughly,  
And find what 'tis to play the fool in folly,  
And see with clear eyes your detested folly,  
I'll be your guard.  Duke 
And I'll be your true servant,  
Ever from this hour virtuously to love ye,  
Chastely and modestly to look upon ye,  
And here I seal it.  Marg. 
I may kiss a stranger, for you must now be so.  Ent. Leon, juan, Alonzo, Sanchio. Leon. 
How do you my Lord,  
methinks you look but poorly on this matter.  
Has my wife wounded ye, you were well before,  
Pray sir be comforted, I have forgot all,  
Truly forgiven too, wife you are a right one,  
And now with unknown nations I dare trust ye.  Iuan. 
No more feigned fights my Lord, they never prosper.  Leon. 
Who's this? the Devil in the vault?  Alt. 
'tis he sir, and as lovingly drunk, as though he had studied it.  Caca. 
Give me a cup of Sack, and kiss me Lady,  
Kiss my sweet face, and make thy husband cuckold,  
An Ocean of sweet Sack, shall we speak treason?  Leon. 
He is devilish drunk.  Duke. 
I had thought he had been a devil.  
He made as many noises and as horrible,  Leon. 
Oh a true lover sir will lament loudly,  
Which of the butts is your Mistress.  Caca. 
Butt in thy belly.  Leon. 
There's two in thine I am sure, 'tis grown so monstrous,  Caca. 
Butt in thy face?  Leon. 
Go carry him to sleep,  
A fool's love should be drunk he has paid well for't too.  
When he is sober let him out to rail,  
Or hang himself, there will be no loss of him.  Exit. Caca. & Serv. Enter Perez, and Estifania. Leon. 
Who's this? my manhood cozen?  Per. 
Good Sir, 'tis very good, would I had a house too,  
For there is no talking in the open air,  
My termagant coz, I would be bold to tell ye,  
I durst be merry too; I tell you plainly  
You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on't,  
A pretty Lady too, I have missed both,  
My Carpenter built in a mist I thank him,  
Do me the courtesy to let me see it,  
See it but once more, But I shall cry for anger.  
I'll hire a chandler's shop close under ye,  
And for my foolery, sell soap and whipcord,  
Nay if you do not laugh now & laugh heartily  
You are a fool coz.  Leon. 
I must laugh a little,  
And now I have done coz thou shalt live with me  
My merry coz, the world shall not divorce us,  
Thou art a valiant man, and thou shalt never want,  
Will this content thee?  Per. 
I'll cry, and then I'll be thankful,  
Indeed I will, and I'll be honest to ye.  
I would live a swallow here I must confess,  
Wife I forgive thee all if thou be honest,  
At thy peril, I believe thee excellent.  Estif. 
if I prove otherways, let me beg first,  
Hold this is yours, some recompense for service,  
Use it to nobler ends than he that gave it.  Duke. 
And this is yours, your true commission, Sir,  
Now you are a Captain.  Leon. 
You are a noble Prince Sir,  
And now a soldier, Gentleman, we all rejoice in't.  Iuan. 
Sir, I shall wait upon you through all fortunes  Alon. 
And I.  Alt. 
And I must needs attend my Mistress.  Leon. 
Will you go sister?  Alt. 
Yes indeed good brother,  
I have too ties, mine own blood,  
And my Mistress.  Marg. 
Is she your sister?  Leon. 
Yes indeed good wife,  
And my best sister,  
For she proved so wench,  
When she deceived you with a loving husband.  Alt. 
I would not deal so truly for a stranger.  Marg. 
Well I could chide ye,  
But it must be lovingly and like a sister,  
I'll bring you on your way, and feast ye nobly,  
For now I have an honest heart to love ye,  
And then deliver you to the blue Neptune.  Iuan. 
Your colours you must wear, & wear 'em proudly,  
Wear 'em before the bullet, and in blood too,  
And all the world shall know  
We are virtues servants.  Duke. 
And all the world shall know, a noble mind  
Makes women beautiful and envy blind. Exeunt.   
FINIS.   

epilogue.  
GOod night our worthy friends, and may you part  
Each with as merry and as free a heart  
As you came hither; to those noble eyes  
That deign to smile on our poor faculties,  
And give a blessing to our labouring ends,  
As we hope many, to such fortune sends  
Their own desires, wife's fair as light as chaste;  
To those that live by spite  
Wives made in haste.