THE FANCIES Chaste and Noble:  
PRESENTED BY THE queen's Majesty's Servants, At the PHOENIX in Drury-lane.  
FIDE HONOUR.  
LONDON, Printed by E. P. for Henry Seile, and are to be sold at his shop, at the tiger's Head in Fleetstreet, over-against Saint Dunstan's Church. 1638.   


TO 
 THE RIGHT NOBLE 
 Lord, the Lord RANDELL 
 MACKDONNELL, Earl of 
 Antrim in the Kingdom of Ireland, 
 Lord Viscount Dunluce.  
My Lord,  
PRINCES, and worthy personages of your own eminence, have entertained Poems of this Nature, with a serious welcome. The Desert of their Authors might transcend mine, not their study of Service. A practice of Courtship to Greatness, hath not hitherto, in me, aimed at any thrift: yet I have ever honoured virtue, as the richest ornament to the Noblest Titles. Endeavour of being known to your Lordship, by such means, I conceive no Ambition; the extent being bounded by Humilty: so neither can the Argument appear ungracious; nor the Writer, in that, without allowance. You enjoy (my Lord) the general suffrage, for your freedom of merits: may you likewise please, by this particular presentment, amongst the number of such as I faithfully honour, those merits, to admit into your Noble construction,  
JOHN FORD.   


 
  

 
 
 
 
 
  

 
 
 
 
 
  

 
 
 
 
 
  
  

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
    

ACT. I.  Enter TROYLO SAVELLI, and LIVIO. TROYLO. 
do, do, be wilful, desperate, 'tis manly,  
Build on your reputation, such a Fortune  
May furnish out your Tables, trim your liveries,  
every your heirs, with purchase of a Patrimony  
Which shall hold out beyond the waste of riot,  
Stick Honours on your Heraldry, with titles  
As swelling and as numerous, as may likely  
Grow to a pretty volume, here's eternity,  
All this can reputation, marry can it,  
Indeed what not?  Livio. 
Such language from a Gentleman  
So noble in his quality as you are  
Deserves in my weak judgement rather pity  
Then a contempt.  Troylo. 
Couldst thou consider Livio  
The fashion of the times, their study, practice,  
Nay, their ambitions, thou wouldst soon distinguish  
Betwixt the abject lowness of a poverty,  
And the applauded triumph of abundance,  
Though compassed by the meanest service, wherein  
Shall you betray your guilt to common censure,  
Waving the private charge of your opinion  
By rising up to greatness, or at least  
To plenty which now buys it.  Livio 
Troylo-Savelli,  
Plays merrily on my wants,  Troy. 
Troylo-Savelli.  
Speaks to the friend he loves, to his own Livio,  
Look prithee through the great Duke's Court in Florence,  
Number his favourites, and then examine  
By what steps some chief Officers in state  
Have reached the heigh they stand in.  Livio 
By their merits.  Troylo 
Right, by their merits, well he merited  
Th'Intendments o'er the Galleys at Leghorn,  
Made grand collector of the customs there,  
Who led the Prince unto his wife's chastebed,  
And stood himself by, in his night gown, fearing  
The jest might be discovered: waste not handsome?  
The Lady knows not yet on't.  Livio. 
Most impossible.  Troy. 
He merited well to wear a robe of Chamlet,  
Who trained his Brother's daughter (scarce a girl)  
Into the Arms of Mont-Angentorato,  
Whiles the young Lord of Telaxton her husband.  
Was packeted to France, to study courtship,  
Under forsooth a colour of employment,  
Employment, yea of honour,  Liv. 
Y'are well read  
In mysteries of state,  Troy. 
Here in Sienna.  
Bold julio de Varana Lord of Camerine.  
Held it no blemish to his blood and greatness,  
From a plain Merchant with a thousand Ducats  
To buy his wife, nay justify the purchase,  
Procured it by a dispensation  
From Rome, allowed and warranted: 'twas thought  
By his Physicians, that she was a creature,  
Agreed best with the cure of the disease,  
His present new infirmity then laboured in.  
Yet these are things in prospect of the world,  
Advanced employed, and eminent.  Liv. 
at best 'Tis but a goodly pandarism.  Troy. 
Shrewd business.  
Thou child in thrift, thou fool of honesty,  
is't a disparagement for gentlemen,  
For friends of lower rank to do the offices  
Of necessary kindness without see,  
For one another, courtesies of course,  
Mirths of society, when petty mushrooms,  
Transplanted from their dunghills spread on mountains.  
And pass for Cedars by their servile flatteries  
On great men's vices?— Pander— thouart deceived,  
The word includes preferment, 'tis a title  
Of dignity, I could add somewhat more else,  Livio. 
Add any thing of reason.  Troylo. 
Castamela.  
Thy beauteous sister like a precious Tissue,  
Not shaped into a garment fit for wearing,  
Wants the adornments of the Workman's cunning  
To set the richness of the piece at view,  
Though in herself all wonder. Come I'll tell thee,  
Away there may be (know I love thee Livio)  
To fix this jewel in a Ring of gold,  
Yet lodge it in a cabinet of Ivory,  
White pure, unspotted Ivory, put case  
Livio himself shall keep the key on't?  Livio 
Oh Sir,  
Create me what you please of yours, do this,  
You are another Nature,  Troy. 
Be then pliable.  Enter Octavo, and Nitido. Troylo. 
Be then pliable  
To my first rules of your advancement— See,  
Octavio my good Uncle, the great Marquess  
Of our Sienna comes as we could wish  
In private— Noble Sir  Oct. 
My bosom's Secretary,  
My dearest, best loved Nephew.  Troylo. 
We have been thirsty  
In our pursuit— Sir her's a gentleman  
Desertful of your knowledge, and as covetous  
Of entertainment from it, you shall honour  
Your judgement, to intrust him to your favours,  
His merits will commend it.  Oct. 
Gladly welcome.  
Your own worth is a herald to proclaim it:  
For taste of your preferment, we admit you  
The chief provisor of our Horse.  Livio. 
Your bounty  
styles me your ever servant.  Troyo. 
he's our own,  
Surely, nay most persuadedly— my thanks Sir  
Owes to this just engagement.  Oct. 
Slack no time  
To enter on your fortunes— thou art careful  
My Troylo in the study of a duty,  
His name is Livio!  Li. 
Livio my good Lord.  Oct. 
Again y'are welcome to us, be as speedy  
Dear Nephew as thouart constant— men of parts,  
Fit parts and sound are rarely to be met with,  
But being met with, therefore to be cherished,  
With love and with supportance, while I stand,  
Livio can no way fall—  
Yet once more welcome.  Exit. Oct. Page. Troy. 
An honourable liberality,  
Timely disposed without delay or question,  
Commands a gratitude, is not this better  
Than waiting three or four months at livery,  
With cup and knee unto this chair of state,  
And to their painted Arras for a need  
From Goodman Usher, or the formal Secretary  
Especially the juggler with the purse,  
That pays some shares, in all a younger brother  
Sometimes an elder, not well trimmed i'th' head-piece,  
May spend what his friends left in expectation,  
Of being turned out of service for attendance  
Or marry a waiting woman, and be damned for't  
To open laughter, (and what's worth) old beggary,  
What thinks my Livio of this rise at first?  
Is't not miraculous.  Livio. 
It seems the bargain,  
Was driven before between ye.  Troy. 
'Twas, and nothing  
Could void it, but the peevish resolution  
Of your dissent from goodness, as you call it,  
A Thin, a threadbare honesty, a virtue  
Without a living to't.  Liv. 
I must resolve  
To turn my sister whore, speak a homeword,  
For my old Bachelor— Lord, so, is't not so?  
A trifle in respect of present means,  
Here's all—  Troy. 
Be yet more confident, the slavery  
Of such an abject office, shall not tempt  
The freedom of my spirit, stand ingenious  
To thine own fate, and we will practise wisely  
Without the charge of scandal.  Liv. 
May it prove so.  Exeunt. Enter SECCO with a casting-bottle, sprinkling his Hat and Face, and a little looking glass at his Girdle, setting his Countenance. Secco. 
Admirable incomparably admirable! to be the minion, the darling, the delight of love, 'tis a very tickling to the marrow, a kissing i'th' blood, a bosoming the ecstasy, the rapture of virginity, soul and paradise of perfection— ah— pity of generation Secco, there are no more such men.  Spa. 
O yes, if any man, woman, or beast, have found, stolen, or taken up a fine, very fine male Barber, of the age of above or under eighteen more or less.  Sec. 
Spadone, hold, what's the noise?  Spa. 
Umh— pay the crier, I have been almost lost myself in seeking you, here's a letter from—  Sec. 
Whom, whom my dear Spadove, whom?  Spa. 
Soft and fair, and you be so brief, I'll return it whence it came, or look out a new owner, O yes.  Sa. 
Low, low, what dost mean, is't from the glory of beauty, Morosa the fairest fair, be gentle to me, here's a ducat, peak low prithee.  Spa. 
Give me one, and take tother, 'tis from the party, Golden news believe it.  Sec. 
Honest Spadone divine Morosa.  Spa. 
Fairest fair, quoth 'a, so is an old rotten Coddled mongrel, parcel Bawd, parcel midwife, all the marks are quite out of her mouth, not the stump of a tooth left in her head, to mumble the curd of a Posset— signior 'tis as I told ye, all's right,  Sec. 
Right, just as thou told'st me, all's right,  Spa. 
To a very hair signior mio.  Sec. 
For which Sirrah Spadone, I will make thee a man, a man, dost hear? I say a man.  Spa. 
thouart a prick-eared foist, a cittern headed gew-gaw, a knack, a snipper-snapper, twit me with the decrements of my pendants, though I am made a gelding, and like a tame Buck have lost my Dowsets, more a monster than a Cuckold with his horns seen, yet I scorn to be jeered by any chequer, approved Barbarian of ye all, make me a man, I defy thee.  Sec. 
How now fellow, how now, roaring ripe indeed?  Spa. 
Indeed? thouart worse, a dry shaver, a copper basand-suds-monger.  Sec. 
Nay, nay, by my Mistress fair eyes I meant no such thing.  Spa. 
Eyes in thy belly, the reverend Madam shall know how I have been used, I will blow my nose in thy casting bottle, break the teeth of thy combs, poison thy camphire Balls, slice out thy towels with thine own razor, betallow thy tweezes, and urine in thy basin, make me a man?  Sec. 
Hold take another Ducat, as I love new cloth;  Spa. 
Or cast old ones.  Sec. 
Yes or cast old ones, I intended no injury.  Spa. 
Good, we are pieced again, reputation, signior, is precious.  Sec. 
I know it is.  Spa. 
Old sores would not be rubbed.  Sec. 
For me never.  Spa. 
The Lady guardianess, the mother of the Fancies, is resolved to draw with ye, in the wholesome of matrimony, suddenly.  Sec. 
she writes as much, and Spadone, when we are married.  Spa. 
You will to bed no doubt.  Sec. 
We will revel in such variety of delights.  Spa. 
Do miracles and get Babies.  Sec. 
Live so sumptuously.  Spa. 
In feather and old furs.  Sec. 
Feed so deliciously.  Spa. 
On Pap and Bulbeese.  Sec. 
Enjoy the sweetness of our years.  Spa. 
eighteen and threescore with advantage,  Sec. 
Tumble and wallow in abundance.  Spa. 
The pure crystal puddle of pleasures.  Sec. 
That all the world should wonder.  Spa. 
A pox on them that envy ye.  Sec. 
How do the beauties (my dainty knave) live, wish, think, and dream, sirrah ha.  Spa. 
Fumble one with another, on the gambos of imagination between their legs, eat they do, and sleep, game, laugh, and lie down, as beauties ought to do, there's all.  Sec. 
Commend me to my choicest, and tell her, the minute of her appointment shall be waited on, say to her, she shall find me a man at all points.  Enter NITIDO. Spa. 
Why, there's another quarrel, man, once more in spite of my nose.  Nit. 
Away Secco away, my Lord calls, a' has a loose hair started from his fellows, a clip of your art is commanded.  Sec. 
I fly Nitido, Spadone remember me.  Exit. Nit. 
Trudging between an old moil, and a young Calf, my numble intelligencer, what, thou fatten'st apace on Capon still?  Spa. 
Yes, crimpe, 'tis a gallant life to be an old Lords pimp whiskin, but beware of the porters lodge, for carrying tales out of the school.  Nit. 
What a terrible sight to a libed breech is a sow gelder?  Spa. 
Not so terrible as a cross tree that never grows, to a wag-halter-Page.  Nit. 
Good! witty rascal, thouart a Satire I protest, but that the nymphs need not fear the evidence of thy mortality, go put on a clean bib, and spin amongst the Nuns, sing'em a bawdy song, all the children thou get'st, shall be christened in wassail bowls, and turned into a college of men Midwives, farewell nightmare.  Spa. 
Very, very well, if I die in thy debt for this crackrope) let me be buried in a coal-sack, I'll fit ye, (apes face) look for't.  Nit. 
And still the Urchin would, but could not do.  sing. Spa. 
Mark the end on't, and laugh at last.  Exeunt. Enter Romanello and Castamela. Rom. 
Tell me you cannot love me,  Chast. 
You importune  
Too strict a resolution, as a gentleman  
Of commendable parts, and fair deserts,  
In every sweet condition that becomes  
A hopeful expectation, I do honour  
Th'example of your youth, but Sir our fortunes  
Concluded on both sides in narrow bands,  
Move you to construe gently my forbearance,  
In argument of fit consideration.  Rom. 
Why Castamela, I have shaped thy virtues  
(Even from our childish years) into a dowry  
Of richer estimation, than thy portion,  
Doubled an hundred times, can equal: now  
I clearly find, thy current of affection  
Labours to fall into the guilt of riot,  
Not the free ocean of a soft content.  
You'd marry pomp and plenty, 'tis the Idol  
(I must confess) that creatures of the time,  
Bend their devotions to, But I have fashioned  
Thoughts much more excellent of you.  Cast. 
Enjoy your own prosperity, I am resolved,  
Never by any charge with me, to force  
A poverty upon ye, want of love.  
'Tis rarely cherished with the love of want.  
I'll not be your undoing.  Rom. 
Sure some dotage  
Of living stately, richly, lend a cunning  
To Eloquence. How is this piece of goodness  
Changed to ambition? oh you are most miserable  
In your desires, the female curse has caught ye.  Cast. 
Fie, fie, how ill this suits.  Rom. 
A Devil of pride,  
Ranges in airy thoughts to catch a star,  
Whiles ye grasp molehills.  Cast. 
Worse and worse I vow.  Rom. 
But that some remnant of an honest sense,  
Ebbs a full tide of blood to shame, all women  
Would prostitute all honour to the luxury of ease and titles.  Cast. 
Romanello, know  
You have forgot the nobleness of truth,  
And sixth on scandal now.  Rom. 
A Dog, a Parrot,  
A Monkey, a caroche, a guarded lackey,  
A waiting woman with her lips sealed up,  
Are pretty toys to please my Mistress wanton:  
So is a fiddle too, 'twill make it dance,  
Or else be sick and whine.  Cast. 
This is uncivil.  
I am not Sir your charge.  Rom. 
My grief you are,  
For all my services are lost and ruined.  Chast. 
So is my chief opinion of your worthiness,  
When such distractions tempt ye, you would prove  
A cruel Lord, who dare, being yet a servant,  
As you profess, to bait my best respects  
Of duty to your welfare, 'tis madness  
I have not oft observed, possess your freedom.  
You have no right in me, let this suffice:  
I wish your joys much comfort.  Enter LIVIO fresh suited. Liv. 
Sister, look ye,  
How by a new creation off my Tailors,  
I've shaken off old mortality, the rags  
Of home spun Gentry (prithee sister mark it)  
Are cast by, and I now appear in fashion  
Unto men, and received, observe me sister,  
The consequence concerns you.  Cast. 
True good Brother,  
For my well doing must consist in yours.  Li. 
here's Romanello, a fine tempered gallant,  
Of decent carriage, of indifferent means,  
Considering that his sister, new hoist up,  
From a lost merchant's warehouse, to the titles  
Of a great Lords-bed, may supply his wants  
Not sunk in his acquaintance, for a scholar  
Able enough, and one who may subsist  
Without the help of friends, provided always,  
He fly not upon wedlock without certainty  
Of an advancement, else a bachelor  
May thrive by observation on a little.  
As single life's no burden, but to draw  
In yokes is chargeable, and will require  
A double maintenance, why I can live  
Without a wife, and purchase.  Rom. 
is't a mystery?  
Y'ave lately found out Livio, or a cunning  
Concealed, till now for wonder?  Livio. 
Pish, believe it,  
Endeavours and an active brain, are better  
Than patrimonies left by parents. Prove it,  
One thrives by cheating; shallow fools and unthrifts,  
Are game knaves only sly at: then a fellow  
Presumes on his hair, and that his back can toil  
For fodder from the City, lies: another  
Reputed valiant, lives by the sword, and takes up  
Quarrels or braves them, as the novice likes,  
To guild his reputation, most improbable.  
A word of desperate undertakings, possibly,  
Procures some hungry meals, some tavern surfeits,  
Some frippery to hide nakedness: perhaps  
The scambling half a ducat now and then  
To roar and noise it with the tattling hostess,  
For a week's lodging: these are pretty shifts,  
Souls bankrupt of their royalty submit to.  
Give me a man, whose practice and experience,  
Conceives not barely the philosopher's stone,  
But indeed has it, one whose wit's his Indies.  
The poor is most ridiculous.  Rom. 
Y'are pleasant  
In new discoveries of fortune; use them  
With moderation, Livio.  Cast. 
Such wild language  
Was wont to be a stranger to your custom;  
however, Brother, you are pleased to vent it,  
I hope for recreation.  Li. 
Name and honour.  
What are they? a mere sound without supportance,  
A begging chastity, youth, beauty, handsomeness,  
Discourse, behaviour which might charm attention,  
And curse the gazer's eyes into amazement;  
Are Nature's common bounties. So are Diamonds  
Uncut, so flowers unworn, so silkworms webs  
Unwrought, gold unrefined, than all those glories  
are of esteem, when used and set at price,  
There's no dark sense in this.  Rom. 
I understand not  
The drift on't, nor how meant, nor yet to whom.  Cast. 
Pray Brother be more plain.  Liv. 
First Romanello,  
This for your satisfaction: if you waste  
More hours in courtship to this maid, my sister,  
Weighing her competency with your own,  
You go about to build without foundation;  
So that care will prove void.  Rom. 
A sure acquittance,  
If I must be discharged.  Liv. 
Next Castamela,  
To thee (my own loved Sister) let me say  
I have not been so bountiful, in showing  
To Fame, the treasure, which this age hath opened,  
As thy true value merits.  Cast. 
You are merry.  Liv. 
My jealousy of thy fresh blooming years,  
Prompted a fear of husbanding too charily  
Thy growth to such perfection, as no flattery  
Of are can perish now.  Cast. 
Here's talk in riddles.  
Brother, th'exposition?  Liv. 
I'll no longer  
Chamber thy freedom, we have been already  
Thrifty enough in our low fortunes, henceforth  
Command thy liberty, with that thy pleasures.  Rom. 
Is't come to this?  Cast. 
Y'are wondrous full of courtesy.  Livio. 
Ladies of birth an I quality are suitors  
For being known t'ee, I have promised, sister,  
They shall partake your company.  Cast. 
What Lady es,  
Where, when, how, who?  Liv. 
A day, a week, a month  
Sported amongst such beauties, is a gain  
On time, theyare young, wife, noble, fair, and chaste.  Cast. 
Chaste?  Livio. 
Castamela chaste, I would not hazard  
My hopes, my joys of thee, on dangerous trial.  
Yet if (as it may chance) a neat clothed merriment  
Pass without blush in tattling to the words,  
Fall not too broad, 'tis but a pastime smiled at  
Amongst yourselves in counsel, but beware  
Of being overheard.  Cast. 
This is pretty.  Rom. 
I doubt I know not what yet must be silent.  Enter TROYLO, FLORIA, CLARELLA, Silvia and NITIDO. Li. 
They come as soon as spoke of— sweetest fair-ones  
My sister cannot but conceive this honour  
Particular in your respects: Dear sir  
You grace us in your favours.  Troy. 
Virtuous Lady.  Flo. 
We are your servants.  Clar. 
Your sure friends.  Sil. 
Society,  
May fix us in a league.  Cast. 
All fitly welcome.  
I find not reason (gentle Ladies) whereon  
To cast this debt of mine, but my acknowledgement  
Shall study to pay thankfulness.  Troy. 
Sweet beauty,  
Your Brother hath indeed been too much churl  
In this concealment from us all, who love him,  
Of such desired a presence.  Sil. 
Please to enrich us  
With your wished amity.  Flo. 
Our coach attends;  
We cannot be denied:  Clar. 
Command it Nitido.  Nit. 
Ladies, I shall, now for a lusty harvest.  
'Twill prove a cheap year, should these barns be filled once,  Cast. 
Brother one word in private.  Livio. 
Phew— anon  
I shall instruct at large.— we are prepared  
And easily entreated; 'tis good manners  
Not to be troublesome.  Troy. 
Thou art perfect Livio.  Cast. 
Whether— but— he's my brother.  Troy. 
Fair, your arm.  
I am your Usher Lady.  Cast. 
As you please sir.  Liv. 
I wait you to your coach,  
Some two hours hence.  
I shall return again.  Exeunt. Rom. 
Troylo-Savelli,  
Next heir unto the Marquess? and the Page too?  
The marquis'd own page, Livio transformed  
Into a sudden bravery, and altered  
In Nature, or I dream? amongst the Ladies,  
I not remember I have seen one face.  
There's cunning in these changes, I am resolute,  
Or to pursue the trick on't, or lose labour.  Exeunt.  

Actus II.  Enter FLAVIO supported by CAMILLO, and VESPUCI. Flavia. 
Not yet returned.  Cam. 
Madam.  Fla. 
The Lord our husband,  
We mean, unkind! four hours are almost past,  
(But twelve short minutes wanting by the glass)  
Since we broke company, was never (gentlemen)  
Poor Princess used so?  Ves. 
With your gracious favour,  
Peers great in rank and place, aught of necessity  
To attend on state employments.  Cam. 
For such duties,  
Are all their toil and labour, but their pleasures  
Flow in the beauties they enjoy, which conquers  
All sense of other travail.  Fla. 
Trimly spoken.  
When we were common, mortal, and a subject,  
As other creatures of heavens making are,  
(the more the pity) bless us! how we waited  
For the huge play day when the Pageants fluttered  
About the City, for we then were certain,  
The Madam courtiers, would vouchsafe to visit us,  
And call us by our names, and eat our viands:  
Nay give us leave to sit at the upper end  
of our own Tables, telling us how welcome  
They'd make us, when we came to Court: full little  
Dreamt I at that time of the wind that blew me  
Up to the Weathercock of th'honours, now  
Are thrust upon me, but we bear the burden,  
Were't twice as much as 'tis, the next great feast,  
we'll grace the City wives (poor souls) and see  
How they'll behave themselves, before our presence.  
You two shall wait on us.  Ves. 
With best observance,  
And glory in our service.  Cam. 
we are creatures  
Made proud in your commands.  Fla. 
believe't you are so  
And you shall find Us readier in your pleasures,  
Than you in your obedience, fie methinks  
I have an excellent humour to be pettish;  
A little toysome, 'tis a pretty sign  
Of breeding, is't not sirs? I could indeed la,  
Long for some strange good things now.  Cam. 
Such news, Madam.  
Would overjoy my Lord your husband.  Ves. 
Cause  
Bonfires and bell ringings  Fla. 
I must be with child then,  
an't be but for the public jollity,  
Or lose my longings, which were mighty pity.  Cam. 
Sweet fates forbid it.  Enter Fabricio. Fab. 
Noblest Lady—  Ves. 
rudeness  
Keep off, or I shall— saucy groom, learn manners,  
Go swab amongst your Goblins.  Fla. 
Let him stay,  
The fellow I have seen, and now remember  
His name, Fabricio.  Fab. 
Your poor Creature Lady;  
Out of your gentleness, please you to consider  
The brief of this petition, which contains  
All hope of my last fortunes.  Fla. 
Give it from him.  Cam. 
Here Madam— mark Vespucci, how the  
Wittol stares on his sometime wife! sure he imagines  
To be a cuckold, by consent, is purchase  
Of appprobation in a state.  Ves. 
Good reason.  
The gain reprieved him from bankerours statute,  
And filed him in the charter of his freedom.  
she had seen the fellow, didst observe.  Cam. 
Most punctually.  
Could call him by his name too, why 'tis possible,  
She has not yet forgot o' was her husband.  Ves. 
That were strange, oh 'tis a precious trinket.  
Was ever puppet so slipped up?  Cam. 
The tale  
Of Venus' Cat (man) changed into a woman,  
Was emblem but to this, she turns.  Vef 
'A stands just like Action in the painted cloth  Cam. 
No more.  Fla. 
Friend we have read, and weighed the sum  
Of what your Scrivener, which in effect  
Is meant your counsel learned, has drawn for ye:  
'Tis a fair hand insooth, but the contents  
Somewhat unseasonable, for let us tell ye,  
Y'ave been a spender, a vain spender, wasted  
Your stock of credit, and of Wares unthriftily.  
You are a faulty man, and should we urge  
Our Lord as often for supplies, as shame,  
Or wants drive you to ask, it might be construed  
An impudence, which we defy, an Impudence,  
Base in base Women, but in Noble sinful.  
Are ye not ashamed yet of yourself?  Fab. 
Great Lady,  
Of my misfortunes I am ashamed.  Cam. 
So, so,  
This jeer twangs roundly, does it not Vespucci?  Ves. 
Why here's a Lady worshipful.  Fla. 
Pray gentlemen,  
Retire awhile; this fellow shall resolve  
Some doubts that stick about me.  Ambo. 
As you please.  Exeunt. Fla. 
To thee Fabricio, oh the change is cruel  
Since I find some small leisure, I must justify,  
Thou art unworthy of the name of man.  
These holy vows, which we by bonds of Faith,  
Recorded in the register of Truth,  
Were kept by me unbroken, no assaults  
Of jousts of courtship from the great and wanton,  
No threats, nor sense of poverty (to which  
Thy riots had betrayed me) could betray  
My warrantable thoughts, to impure folly.  
Why wouldest thou force me miserable?  Fab. 
The scorn  
Of rumor, is reward enough, to brand  
My lewder actions, 'twas I thought impossible,  
A beauty fresh as was your youth, could brook  
The last of my decays,  Fla. 
Did I complain?  
My sleeps between thine arms, were even as sound,  
My dreams as harmless, my contents as free,  
As when the best of plenty crowned our bride bed.  
Amongst some of a mean, but quiet fortune,  
Distrust of what they call their own, or jealousy  
Of those whom in their bosoms they possess  
Without control, begets a self unworthiness;  
For which fear, or what is worst desire,  
Or paltry gain, they practise art, and labour to  
Pander their own wives: those wives whose innocence  
Stranger to language, spoke obedience only,  
And such a wife was Flavia to Fabritio.  Fab. 
My loss is irrecoverable.  Fla. 
Call not  
Thy wickedness thy loss; without my knowledge  
Thou sold'st me, and in open court protestdest  
A precontract unto another, falsely  
To justify a separation, wherein  
Could I offend to be believed thy Strumpet,  
In best sense an Adulteress? so conceived  
In all opinions, that I am shaken off,  
Even from mine own blood, which although I boast  
Not Noble, yet 'twas not mean, for Romanello  
Mine only brother, shuns me, and abhors  
To own me for his sister.  Fab. 
'Tis confessed,  
I am the shame of mankind.  Fla. 
I live happy  
In this great Lords love, now, but could his cunning  
Have trained me to dishonour, we had never  
Been sundered byth' temptation of his purchase.  
Introth Fabritio, I am little proud of  
My unsought honours, and so far from triumph,  
That I am not more fool, to such as honour me,  
Then to myself, who hate this antique carriage!  Fab. 
You are an Angel rather to be worshipped,  
Then grossly to be talked with.  Fla. 
Keep those Ducats;  
I shall provide you better: 'twere a bravery,  
Could you forget the place wherein y'ave rendered  
Your name for ever hateful.  Fab. 
I will do't,  
Do't excellentest goodness, and conclude  
My days in silent goodness.  Fla. 
You may prosper  
In Spain, in France, or elsewhere, as in italy.  
Besides, you are a scholar bred, however  
You interrupted study with commerce,  
I'll think of your supplies, mean time, pray, storm not  
At my behaviour t'ee, I have forgot acquaintance  
With mine own— keep your first distance—  Enter julio, Camillo, Vespuci Camillo, who is near, Vespuci. Iul. 
What, Our lady's cast familiar.  Fla. 
Oh my stomach  
Wambles at fight of— sick, sick, I am sick—  
I saint at heart— kiss me, nay prithee quickly,  
Or I shall swoon— y'ave stayed a sweet while from me.  
And this companion to— beshrew him.  Iu. 
Dearest,  
Thou art my health, my blessing— turn the bankrupt  
out of my doors— sirrah, I'll have thee whipped.  
If thou com'st here again.  Cam. 
Hence, hence you vermin.  Exit Fa. Iu. 
How is't my best of joys?  Fla. 
Prettily mended.  
Now we have our own Lord here: I shall never  
Endure to spare you long out of my sight.  
See what the thing presented.  Iu. 
A petition,  
Belike for some new charity.  Fla. 
We must not  
Be troubled with his needs, a wanting creature  
Is monstruous, is as ominous— fie, upon't.  
Dispatch the silly Mushroom once for all,  
And send him with some pittance out o'th' country,  
Where we may hear no more of him.  Iu. 
Thy will shall stand a law, my Flavia,  Flav. 
You have been  
In private with our fellow Peers now: sha'not we  
Know how the business stands, sure in some country,  
Ladies are privy Counsellors, I warrant ye:  
Are they not think ye? there the land is (doubtless)  
Most politicly governed; all the women  
We are swords and Breeches, I have heard most certainly,  
Such sights were excellent.  Iul. 
thouart a matchless pleasure:  
No life is sweet without thee, in my heart  
Reign Empress, and be styled thy julio's Sovereign.  
My only, precious dear:  Fla. 
we'll prove no less t'ee.  Exeunt. Enter Troylo and Livio. Troy. 
Sea sick ashore still? thou couldst rarely scape  
A Calenture in a long voyage, Livio,  
Who in a short one, and at home art subject  
To such faint stomach qualms, no cordials comfort  
The business of thy thoughts, for aught I see:  
What ails thee (man) be merry, hang up jealousies.  Liv. 
Who, ay, I jealous? no, no, here's no cause  
In this place 'tis a nunnery, a retirement  
For meditation, all the difference extant  
But puzzles, only bar belief, not grounds it,  
Rich services in place! soft and fair lodgings,  
Varieties of recreations, exercise  
Of music in all changes? neat attendance?  
Princely, nay royal furniture of garments?  
Satiety of gardens, orchards, water works,  
Pictures so ravishing, that ranging eyes,  
Might dwell upon a dotage of conceit,  
Without a single wish for livelier substance?  
The great world in a little world of Fancy,  
Is here abstracted: no temptation proffered  
But such as fools and mad folks can invite to?  
And yet—  Troy. 
And yet your reason cannot answer  
Th' objections of your fears, which argue danger.  Liu. 
Danger? dishonour, Troylo: were my sister  
In safety from those charms, I must confess  
I could live here for ever.  Troy. 
But you could not.  
I can assure ye, for't were then scarce possible,  
A door might open t'ee, hardly a loophole,  Liv. 
My presence then is usher to her ruin,  
And loss of her, the fruit of my preferment.  Troy. 
Briefly partake a secret, but be sure  
To lodge it in the inmost of thy bosom,  
Where memory may not find it for discovery;  
By our firm truth of friendship, I require thee.  Liv. 
By our firm truth of friendship, I subscribe  
To just conditions.  Troy. 
Our great Uncle Marquess,  
Disabled from his Cradle, by an impotence  
In nature first, that impotence, since seconded  
And rendered more infirm, by a fatal breach  
Received in fight against the Turkish Galleys  
Is made uncapable of any faculty,  
Of active manhood, more than what affections  
Proper unto his Sex, must else distinguish:  
So that no helps of art can warrant life,  
Should he transcend the bounds his weakness limits.  Li. 
On, I attend with eagerness.  Troy. 
'Tis strange,  
Such natural defects at no time checks  
A full and free sufficiency of spirit;  
Which flows, both in so clear and fixed a strength,  
That to confirm belief (it seems) where nature  
Is in the body lame, she is supplied  
In fine proportion of the mind, a word  
Concludes all; to a man his enemy,  
He is a dangerous threatening: but to women,  
however pleasurable, no way cunning  
To show abilities of friendship, other  
than what his outward senses can delight in,  
Or charge and bounty court with.  Liv. 
Good, good— Troylo,  
Oh that I had a lusty Faith to credit it,  
Though none of all this wonder should be possible.  Troy. 
As I love honour, and an honest name,  
I falter not (my Livio) in one syllable,  Liv. 
News admirable, 'tis, 'tis so— pish I know it,  
Yet 'a has a kind heart of his own to girls,  
Young, handsome Girls; yes, yes, so a' may,  
'tis granted— 'a would now and then be piddling,  
And play the wanton, like a fly that dallies  
About a candle's flame: then scorch his wings,  
Drop down, and creep away, ha?  Troy. 
Hardly that too;  
To look upon fresh beauties, to discourse  
In an unblushing merriment of words,  
To hear them play or sing, and see them dance,  
To pass the time in pretty amorous questions,  
Read a chaste verse, of love, or prattle riddles,  
Is th' height of his temptations.  Liv. 
Send him joy on't.  Troy. 
His choices are not of the courtly train;  
Nor City's practice; but the country's innocence,  
Such as are gentle-born, not meanly; such,  
To whom both gaudiness and apelike fashions  
Are monstrous; such as cleanliness and decency,  
Prompt to a virtuous envy, such as study  
A knowledge of no danger, but themselves.  Liv. 
Well, I have lived in ignorance: the ancients,  
Who chatted of the golden age, feigned trifles.  
Had they dreamt this, they would have truthed it heaven.  
I mean an earthly heaven, less it is not.  Troy. 
Yet is this Bachelor miracle not free  
From the epidemical headache.  Liv. 
The Yellows.  Troy. 
Huge jealous fits, admitting none to enter  
But me, his page, and Barber, with an Eunuch,  
And an old guardianess, it is a favour  
Not common, that the licence of your visits,  
To your own sister, now and then is wink't at.  Liv. 
But why are you his instrument, his Nephew?  
'tis ominous in nature.  Troy. 
Not in policy.  
Being his heir, I may take truce a little,  
With mine own fortunes.  Liv. 
Knowing how things stand too.  Troy. 
At certain seasons, as the humour takes him,  
A set of music are permitted peaceably,  
To cheer their solitariness, provided  
theyare strangers, not acquainted near the city,  
But never the same twice, pardon him that;  
Nor must their stay exceed an hour, or two  
At farthest; as at this wise wedding, wherefore  
His Barber is the master to instruct  
The lasses both in Song and Dance, by him  
Trained up in either quality.  Liv. 
A caution happily studied.  Troy. 
Farther to prevent  
Suspicion, a'has married his young Barber  
To the old Matron, and withal is pleased,  
Report should mutter him a mighty man  
For th'game, to take off all suspicion  
Of insufficiency, and this strict company  
A' callscals his bower of Fancies.  Liv. 
Yes and properly,  
Since all his recreations are in Fancy.  
I'm infinitely taken— sister? marry  
Would I had sisters in a plenty, Troylo,  
So to bestow them all, and turn them Fancies.  
Fancies? Why 'tis a pretty name methinks.  Troy. 
Something remains, which in conclusion shortly.  Song. 
Shall take thee fuller— Hark, the wedding jollity!  
With a bridecake on my life, to grace the nuptials!  
Perhaps the Ladies will turn Songsters.  Liv. 
Silence.  Enter Secco, Castamela, Floria, Clarella, Silvia, Morosa, and Spadone. Sec. 
Passing neat and exquisite, I protest fair creatures; These honours to our solemnity, are liberal and uncommon; my spouse and myself with our posterity, shall prostitute our services, to your bounties, shalls not duckling?  Mor. 
Yes honey suckle, and do as much for them one day, if things stand right as they should stand, Bill, Pigeon do; thou'st be my catamountain, and I thy sweet briar, Honey, we'll lead you to kind examples (pretty ones) believe it, and you shall find us, one in one, whiles hearts do last.  Sec. 
Ever mine own, and ever.  Spa. 
Well said old Touch hole.  Liv. 
All happiness, all joy.  Troy. 
A plenteous issue,  
A fruitful womb— Thou hast a blessing Secco.  Mor. 
Indeed a' has Sir, if ye know all, as I conceive you know enough, if not the whole: for you have (I may say) tried me to the quick, through and through, and most of my carriage, from time to time.  Spa. 
'Twould wind-break a moil, or a ringed mare, to vie burdens with her.  Mor. 
What's that you mumble, Gelding, shey.  Spa. 
Nothing forsooth, but that y'are bouncing couple well met, and 'twere pity to part ye, though you hung together in a smoky chimney.  Mor. 
'Twere e'en pity indeed, Spadone, nay thou'st a foolish loving nature of thine own, and withheld well to plain dealings o' my conscience.  Spa. 
Thank your Brideship— your Bawdship.  Flo. 
Our sister is not merry.  Cla. 
Sadness cannot  
Become a Bridal harmony.  Sil. 
At a wedding, free spirits are required.  Troy. 
You should dispense  
With serious thoughts, now Lady.  Mor. 
Well said Gentlefolks.  Liv. 
Fie Castamela fie,  Om. 
A dance, a dance.  Troy. 
By any means, the day is not complete else.  Cast. 
Indeed He be excused,  Troy. 
By no means, Lady.  Sec. 
We are all suitors.  Cast. 
With your pardons, spare me  
For this time, grant me licence to look on.  
Command your pleasures, Lady,— every one hand  
Your Partner— nay, Spadone, must make one.  
These merriments are free.  Spa. 
With all my heart, I'm sure I am not the heaviest  
In the company.  
Strike up for the honour of the Bride and Bridegroom.  Dance. Troy. 
So, so, here's art in motion: on all parts,  
Ye have bestirred ye nimbly,  Mor. 
I could dance now,  
e'en till I dropped again; but want of practice  
Denies the scope of breath or so, yet sirrah,  
My catamountain, do not I trip quickly,  
And with a grace too, sirrah.  Sec. 
Light as a feather.  Spa. 
Sure you are not without a stick of Licorice in your pocket forsooth; you have I believe stout lungs of your own, you swim about so roundly without rubs; 'tis a tickling sight to be young still.  Enter NITIDO. Nit. 
Madam Morosa?  Mor. 
Child.  Nit. 
To you in secret.  Spa. 
That earwig scatters the troop now, I'll go near to fit'em.  Liv. 
My Lord upon my life.  Troy. 
Then we must sever.  Mor. 
Ladies and gentlemen, your ears.  Spa. 
Oh 'twas ever a wanton monkey— a' will wriggle into a starting hole so cleanly— and it had been on my wedding day,— I know what I know.  Sec. 
sayst so Spadone?  Spa. 
Nothing, nothing, I prate sometimes beside the purpose, whoreson lecherous weasel?  Sec. 
Look, look, look how officious the little knave is— but—  Spa. 
Why? there's the business, butts on one's forehead, are but scurvy butts.  Mor. 
Spadone, discharge the fiddlers instantly.  Spa. 
Yes, I know my postures-oh monstruous butts.  Exit. Mor. 
Attend within, Sweeting,— your pardons  
Gentlemen; to your recreations dear virgins:  
Page have a care,  Nit. 
My duty reverend Madam.  Troy. 
Livio away— sweet beauties.  Cast. 
Brother.  Liv. 
Suddenly I shall return, enough for a round temptation.  Mor. 
One gentle word in private with your Ladyship. I shall  
Not hold you long.  Ex. severally Morosa stays Castamela. Cast. 
What means this huddle  
Of flying several ways thus? who has frighted 'em?  
They live not at devotion here, or pension!  
Pray quit me of distrust.  Mor. 
May it please your Goodness,  
You'll find him even in every point as honourable,  
As flesh and blood can vouch him:  Cast. 
Ha, him? whom?  
What him?  Mor. 
He will not press beyond his bounds.  
He will but chat and toy, and feel your—  Cast. 
Guard me,  
A powerful Genius! feel—  Mor. 
Your hands to kiss them.  
Your fair, pure, white hands, what strange business is it?  
These melting twins of Ivory, but softer  
Than down of Turtles, shall but feed the appetite—  Cast. 
A rape upon my ears.  Mor. 
The appetite  
Of his poor ravished eye; should he swell higher  
In his desires, and soar upon ambition  
Of rising in humility, by degrees;  
Perhaps a' might crave leave to clap—  Cast. 
Fond woman,  
In thy grave sinful,  Mor. 
Clap or pat the dimples,  
Where Loves tomb stands erected on your cheeks.  
Else pardon those slight exercises, pretty one,  
His Lordship is as harmless a weak implement,  
As ere young Lady trembled under.  Cast. 
Lordship!  
(Stead me my modest anger) 'tis belike then  
Religious matron) some great man's prison,  
Where Virgins honours suffer martyrdom.  
And you are their tormentor; let's lay down  
Our ruined names to the insulter's mercy!  
Let's sport and smile on scandal (rare calamity,  
What hast thou toiled me in?) you named his Lordship,  
Some gallant youth and fiery?  Mor. 
No, no deed la.  
A very grave stale Bachelor (my dainty one)  
There's the conceit: he's none of your hot rovers,  
Who ruffle at first dash, and so disfigure  
Your Dresses, and your sets of blush at once.  
he's wise in years, and of a temperate warmth;  
Mighty in means and power: and withal liberal.  
A wanton in his wishes, but else, farther,  
A' cannot— cause— a' cannot.  Cast. 
Cannot, prithee,  
Be plainer: I begin to like thee strangely.  
What cannot?  Mor. 
You urge timely, and to purpose,  
A' cannot do— the truth is truth— do, any thing,  
(As one should say) that's any thing, put case  
(I do but put the case forsooth) a' find ye.  Cast. 
My stars I thank ye, for being ignorant,  
Of what this old in mischief can intend.  
And so we might be merry, bravely merry.  Mor. 
You hit it— what else— she is cunning— look ye,  
Pray lend your hand forsooth.  Cast. 
Why prithee take it.  Mor. 
You have a delicate moist palm— umh— can ye relish that tickle? there.  Cast. 
And laugh if need were.  Mor. 
And laugh, why now you have it, what hurt pray  
Perceive ye? there's all, all, go to, you want tutoring,  
Are an apt scholar, I'll neglect no pains  
For your instruction.  Cast. 
Do not, but his Lordship,  
What may his Lordship be?  Mor. 
No worse man  
Than Marquess of Sienna, the great Master  
Of this small family, your master found him,  
A bounteous benefactor, has advanced him,  
The gentleman o'th' horse, in a shot time  
He means to visit you himself in person,  
As kind, as loving, an old man.  Cast. 
we'll meet him  
With a full flame of welcome, is't the Marquess?  
No worse?  Mor. 
No worse I can assure your Ladyship,  
The only free maintainer of the Fancies.  Cast. 
Fancies? How mean ye that.  Mor. 
The pretty souls  
Who are companions in the house, all daughters  
To honest virtuous parents, and right worshipful.  
A kind of chaste collapsed Ladies.  Cast. 
Chaste too, and yet collapsed?  Mor. 
Only in their fortunes.  Cast. 
Sure I must be a Fancy in the number.  Mor. 
A Fancy principal, I hope you'll fashion  
Your entertainment, when the Marquess courts you,  
As that I may stand blameless.  Cast. 
Free suspicion. My Brother's raiser?  Mor. 
Merely.  Cast. 
My supporter?  Mor. 
Undoubtedly.  Cast. 
An old man and a lover?  Mor. 
True, there's the Music, the content, the harmony.  Cast. 
And I myself a Fancy?  Mor. 
You are pregnant.  Cast. 
The chance is thrown, I now am fortune's minion,  
I will be bold and resolute.  Mor. 
Blessing on thee.  Exeunt.  

Actus III.  Enter ROMANELLO. Rom. 
Prosper me now my fate; some better genius  
Than such a one, as waits on troubled passions,  
Direct my courses to a noble issue.  
My thoughts have wandered in a labyrinth,  
But if the clew I have laid hold on, fail not,  
I shall tread out the toil of these dark paths  
In spite of politic reaches— I am punished  
In mine own hopes, by her unlucky fortunes,  
Whose fame is ruined; Flavia, my lost sister!  
Lost to report, by her unworthy husband,  Enter Nitido. 
Though heightened by a greatness, in whose mixtures,  
I hate to claim a part— Oh welcome, welcome,  
Dear boy! thou keep'st time with my expectations  
As justly, as the promise of my bounties  
Shall reckon with thy service.  Nit. 
I have fashioned the means of your admittance.  Rom. 
Precious Nitido.  Nit. 
More, have bethought me of a shape, a quaint one,  
You may appear in, safe and unsuspected.  Rom. 
thouart an ingenious boy.  Nit. 
Beyond all this;  
Have so contrived the feat, that at first sight,  
Troylo himself shall court your entertainment:  
Nay, force you to vouchsafe it.  Rom. 
thoust out done all counsel, and all cunning.  Nit. 
True, I have sir  
Fadged nimbly in my practises: but surely,  
There are some certain clogs, some roguish staggers,  
Somewhat shall I call 'em in the business?  Rom. 
Nitido,  
What faint now? dear heart bear up, what staggers,  
What clogs? let me remove 'em.  Nit. 
Am I honest  
In this discovery?  Rom. 
Honest, pish is that all?  
By this rich purse, and by the twenty ducats  
Which line it, I will answer for thy honesty,  
Against all italy, and prove it perfect,  
Besides, remember, I am bound to secrecy.  
thou'lt not betray thyself.  Nit. 
All fears are cleared then.  
But if—  Rom. 
If what? out with't.  Nit. 
If w'are discovered,  
You'll answer I am honest still?  Rom. 
Dost doubt it?  Nit. 
Not much; I have your purse in pawn for't.  
Now to the shape, and know the wits in Florence,  
Who in the great Duke's court, buffoons his compliment,  
According to the change of meats in season,  
At every free Lords table,  Rom. 
Or free meetings  
In Taverns, there a' sits at the upper end,  
And eats, and prates, a' cares not how nor what.  
The very quaik of fashions, the very he that  
Wears a Steletto on his chin.  Nit. 
You have him.  
Like such a thing must you appear, and study  
Amongst the Ladies in a formal foppery,  
To vent some curiosity of language,  
Above their apprehensions, or your own,  
Indeed beyond sense, you are the more the person.  
Now amorous, then scurvy, sometimes bawdy,  
The same man still, but evermore fantastical,  
As being the suppositor to laughter:  
It hath saved charge in physic.  Rom. 
When occasion  
Offers itself (for where it does or not,  
I will be bold to take it) I may turn  
To some one in the company; and changing  
My Method talk of state, and rail against  
Th'imployment of the time, mislike the carriage  
Of places, and mislike that men of parts,  
Of merit, such as myself am, are not  
Thrust into public action: 'twill set off  
A privilege I challenge from opinion,  
With a more lively current.  Nit. 
On my Modesty,  
You are some kin to him— signior Prugnioli!  
signior Mushrumpo!  
Leap but into his antic garb, and trust me  
You'll fit it to a thought.  Rom. 
The time?  Nit. 
As suddenly  
As you can be transformed,— for the event,  
'Tis pregnant.  Rom. 
Yet my pretty knave, thou hast not  
Discovered where fair Castamela lives;  
Nor how, nor amongst whom.  Nit. 
Pish, it more Queres,?  
Till your own eyes inform, be silent, else  
Take back your earnest, what, turn woman? fie;  
Be idle and inquisitive?  Rom. 
No more.  
I shall be speedily provided, ask for  
A note at mine own lodging.  Exit. Nit. 
I'll not fail ye,  
Assuredly, I will not fail you signior;  
My fine in amorato— twenty ducats?  
theyare half his quarter's income— love, oh love,  
What a pure madness art thou? I shall fit him,  
Fit, quit and split him too— most bounteous sir.  Enter Troylo. Troy. 
Boy, thou art quick and trusty,  
Be withal close and silent, and thy pains  
Shall meet a liberal addition.  Nit. 
Though sir,  
I'm but a child, yet you shall find me—  Troy. 
man  
In the contrivements; I will speak for thee.  
Well 'a does relish the disguise!  Nit. 
Most greedily  
Swallows it with a liquorish delight:  
Will instantly be shaped in't instantly,  
And on my conscience, sir, the supposition  
Strengthened by supposition, will transform him  
Into the beast itself 'a does resemble.  Troy. 
Spend that, and look for more boy.  Nit. 
Sir, it needs not:  
I have already twenty Ducats pursed  
In a gay case, alas sir, to you, my service  
Is but my duty.  Troy. 
Modesty in Pages  
Shows not a virtue, boy, when it exceeds  
Good manners. Where must we meet?  Nit. 
Sir at's lodging,  
Or near about: he will make haste believe it.  Troy. 
Wait th'opportunity, and give me notice.  
I shall attend.  Nit. 
If I miss my part, hang me.  Exit. Enter Vospuci and Camillo. Ves. 
Come thouart caught Camillo.  Cam. 
Away, away,  
That were a jest indeed; I caught?  Ves. 
The Lady  
Does scatter glances, wheels her round, and smiles;  
Steals an occasion to ask how the minutes  
Each hour have run in progress; then, thou kissest  
All thy four fingers, crouchest and sighest faintly:  
Dear beauty, if my watch keep fair decorum,  
Three quarters have near passed the figure X.  
Or as the time of day goes—  Cam. 
So Vespucci,  
This will not do, I read it on thy forehead,  
The grain of thy complexion is quite altered.  
Once 'twas a comely brown, 'tis now of late  
A perfect green and yellow; sure prognosticates  
Of th'over flux o'th' gall, and melancholy,  
Symptoms of love and jealousy, poor soul.  
Quoth she, the she, why hang thy looks like bell-ropes  
Out of the wheels? thou flinging down thy eyes  
Low at her feet, replied'st, because, oh Sovereign  
The great bell of my heart is cracked, and never  
Can ring in tune again, till't be new cast  
By one only skilful Foundress.— hereat  
She turned aside, winked, thou stoodst still and stared'st  
I did observ't, be plain, what hope?  Vesp. 
she loves thee;  
Dotes on thee: in my hearing told her Lord  
Camillo was the Pyramus and Thisbe  
Of Courtship, and of compliment: ah ha!  
She nicked it there. I envy not thy fortunes;  
For to say truth, thouart handsome, and deserv'st her,  
Were she as great again as she is.  Cam. 
I handsome?  
Alas, alas, a creature of heavens making,  
there's all! but sirrah, prithee let's be sociable;  
I do confess, I think the goody-madam  
May possibly be compassed; I resolve too,  
To put in for a share; come what can come on't.  Vesp. 
A pretty toy 'tis, since thouart open breasted,  
Camillo I presume she is wanton,  
And therefore mean to give the souse, whenever  
I find the game on wing.  Cam. 
Let us consider,  
she's but a merchant's leavings.  Ves. 
Hatched i'th' country,  
And fledged i'th' City.  Cam. 
'Tis a common custom  
'Mongst friends (they are not friends else) chiefly gallants,  
To trade by turns in such like frail commodities.  
The one is but reversioner to other.  Ves. 
Why 'tis the fashion man.  Cam. 
Most free and proper,  
One Surgeon, one apothecary.  Ves. 
Thus then;  
When I am absent, use the gentlest memory  
Of my endowments, my unblemished services  
To ladies' favours: with what Faith and secrecy.  
I live in her commands, whose special courtesies,  
Oblige me to particular engagements.  
I'll do as much for thee.  Cam. 
With this addition  
Camillo (best of fairs) a man so bashful,  
So simply harmless, and withal so constant,  
Yet resolute in all! true rights of honour;  
That to deliver him in perfect character,  
Were to detract from such a solid virtue  
As reigns not in another soul— he is  Ves. 
The thing a Mistress ought to wish her servant;  
Are we agreed?  Cam. 
Most readily on other side,  
Unto the Lord her husband, talk as coursely  
Of one another as we can.  Ves. 
I like it, so shall we sift her love, and his opinion.  Enter julio, Flavia, and Fabritio. julio 
Be thankful (fellow) to a noble Mistress;  
Two hundred ducats are no trifling sum,  
Nor common alms.  Fla. 
You must not loiter lazily,  
And speak about the town my friend in taverns,  
In gaming houses, nor sneak after dinner  
To public shows, to interludes, in riot,  
To some lewd painted baggage, tricked up gaudily,  
Like one of us; oh fie upon 'em giblets!  
I have been told they ride in coaches, flaunt it  
In braveries, so rich, that it is scarce possible  
How to distinguish one of these vile naughty packs,  
From true and arrant Ladies— they'll inveigle  
Your substance and your body, think on that,  
I say your body, look to't,  
Is't not sound counsel?  Iu. 
'Tis more, 'tis heavenly.  Ves. 
What hope Camillo now if this tune hold?  Cam. 
Hope fair enough, Vespucci, now as ever:  
Why any Woman in her husband's presence  
Can say no less.  Ves. 
'tis true, and she hath leave here.  Fab. 
Madam, your care and charity at once,  
Have so new moulded my resolves,  
That henceforth whene'er my mention  
Falls into report,  
It shall requite this bounty, I am travelling  
To a new world.  Iu. 
I like your undertakings.  Fla. 
New world, where's that I pray? good, if you light on  
A Parrot or a Monkey that has qualities  
Of a new fashion, think on me.  Fab. 
Yes, Lady  
I, I shall think on you; and my devotions  
Tendered where they are due in single meekness,  
With purer flames will mount with free increase  
Of plenty, honours, full contents, full blessings,  
Truth and affection 'twixt your Lord and you.  
So with my humblest best leave, I turn from you,  
Never as now I am to appear before ye.  
All joys dwell here and lasting.  Exit. Fla. 
Prithee sweetest  
Hark in your ear— beshrew't, the brim of your hat  
Struck in mine eye— Dissemble honest tears  
The griefs my heart does labour in— smarts  
Unmeasurably.  Iul. 
A chance, a chance, 'twill off;  
Suddenly off, forbear, this handkercher  
But makes it worse.  Cam. 
Wink madam with that eye.  
The pain will quickly pass.  Vesp. 
Immediately,  
I know it by experience.  Fla. 
Yes, I find it.  Iul. 
Spare us a little Gentlemen: speak freely.  Ex. Ca. Ve. 
What were't thou saying dearest?  Fla. 
Do you love me?  
Answer in sober sadness, I'm your wife now;  
I know my place and power.  Iul. 
What's this riddle?  
Thou hast thyself replied to thine own question,  
In being married to me, a sure argument  
Of more than protestation.  Fla. 
Such it should be  
Were you as other husbands: 'tis granted,  
A woman of my state may like good clothes,  
Choice diet, many servants, change of merriments,  
All these I do enjoy; and wherefore not?  
Great Ladies should command their own delights,  
And yet for all this, I am used but homely,  
But I am served even well enough.  Iul. 
My Flavia  
I understand not what thou wouldst  Fla. 
Pray pardon me;  
I do confess I'm foolish, very foolish;  
Trust me indeed I am, for I could cry  
Mine eyes out, being in the weeping humour:  
You know I have a Brother.  Iv. 
Romanello,  
An unkind Brother.  Fla. 
Right, right, since you bosomed  
My latter youth, he never would vouchsafe  
As much as to come near me. Oh, it mads me,  
Being but two, that we should live at distance;  
As if I were a Castaway, and you  
For your part take no care on't nor attempted  
To draw him hither.  Iu. 
Say the man be peevish,  
Must I petition him?  Fla. 
Yea marry must ye,  
Or else you love not me; not see my Brother?  
Yes I will see him, so I will, will see him.  
You hear't,— oh my good Lord, dear gentle, prithee,  
You shan't be angry; 'las I know poor Gentleman,  
'a bears a troubled mind: but let us meet  
And talk a little, we perhaps may chide  
At first, shed some few tears, and then be quiet;  
There's all.  Iu. 
Write to him, and invite him hither,  
Or go to him thyself. Come, no more sadness,  
I'll do what thou canst wish.  Fla. 
And in requital,  
Believe I shall say something that may settle  
A constancy of peace, for which thou'lt thank me.  Exit. Enter SECCO and SPADONE. Secco. 
The rarest fellow, Spadone, so full of gambols, 'a talks so humorously, does a not, so carelessly? Oh rich! o, my hope of posterity! I could be in love with him.  Spadone. 
His tongue trolls like a Mill-clack: 'a touses the Lady sisters, as a tumbling Dog does young rabbits; heigh here, dab there, your Madonna; 'a has a catch at her too: There's a trick in the business; I am a dunce, else I say a shrewd one.  Sec. 
jump with me, I smell a trick too, if I could tell what.  Spa. 
Who brought him in? that would be known?  Sec. 
That did signior Troylo; I saw the Page part at the door; some trick still, go to Wife, I must and I will have an eye to this gear.  Spa. 
A plain case, Roguery, Brokage and Roguery, or call me Bulchin. Fancies, quoth 'a? rather Frenzies. We shall all roar shortly: turn madcaps, lie open to what comes first I may stand to't. That boy Page, is a naughty boy Page; let me feel your forehead, ha, oh, hum,— yes— there,— there again; I'm sorry for ye, a handsaw cannot cure ye, monstrous and apparent.  Sec. 
What, what, what, what, what Spadone?  Spa. 
What what what what, nothing but Velvet tips you are of the first head yet: have a good heart man, a Cuckold though 'a be a Beast, wears invisible horns; else we might know a City Bull from a Country Calf,— villainous Boy still.  Sec. 
My Razor shall be my weapon, my Razor.  Spa. 
Why? he's not come to the honour of a Beard yet, he needs no shaving.  Sec. 
I will trim him and tram him.  Spa. 
Nay she may do well enough for one.  Sec. 
One, ten, a hundred, a thousand; ten thousand: do beyond Arithmetic Spadone, I speak it with some passion, I am a notorious Cuckold.  Spa. 
Gross and ridiculous,— look ye, point blank I dare not swear that this same mountebanking new-come foist, is at least a procurer in the business; if not a pretender himself: but I think what I think.  Sec. 
He, Troylo, Livio, the Page, that hole-creeping Page; all horn me sirrah; I'll forgive thee from my heart: Dost not thou drive a trade too in my bottom.  Spa. 
A likely matter, 'las I'm Metamorphosed I, be patient you'll mar all else.  Within. 
Ha ha ha ha.  Sec. 
Now, now, now, now, the games rampant, rampant.  Spa. 
Leave your wild fegaries, and learn to be a tame Antic, or I'll observe no longer.  Within. 
Ha ha ha ha.  Enter Troylo, Castamela, Floria, Clarella Silvia, Morosa, and Romanello, like a Courtly Mountebank. Sil. 
You are extremely busy signior.  Flo. 
Courtly,  
Without a fellow.  Cla. 
Have a stabbing wit.  Cast. 
But are you always, when you press on Ladies  
Of mild and easy nature, so much satire;  
So tart and keen as we do taste ye now?  
It argues a lean brain.  Rom. 
Gip to your beauties,  
You would be fair forsooth, you would be Monsters;  
Fair Women are such, Monsters to be seen  
Are rare, and so are they.  Troy. 
Bear with him Ladies.  Mor. 
He is a foul-mouthed man.  Sec. 
Whore, bitch— Fox, treedle— fa la la la—  Mor. 
How's that my Cat a Mountain?  Spa. 
Hold her there Boy.  Cla. 
Were you ere in love fine Signior?  Rom. 
Yes for sport's sake;  
But soon forgot it. He that rides a gallop  
Is quickly weary. I esteem of Love  
As of a man in some huge place; it puzzles  
Reason, distracts the freedom of the soul;  
Renders a wise man fool, and a fool wise  
In's own conceit, not else it yields effects  
Of pleasure travail, bitter, sweet; war, peace;  
Thorns, roses; prayers, curses; longings, surfeits;  
Despair, and then a rope: oh my trim lover,  
Yes, I have loved a score at once.  Spa. 
Out stallion, as I am a man and no man, the Baboon lies I dare swear abominably.  Sec. 
Inhumanly,— keep your bow close, vixen.  Mor. 
Beshrew your fingers if you be in earnest:  
You pinch too hard, go to, I'll pare your nails for't.  Spa. 
She means your horns, there's a bob for you.  Cla. 
spruce Signior, if a man may love so many,  
Why may not a fair Lady have like privilege  
Of several servants?  Troy. 
Answer that, the reason  
Holds the same weight.  Mor. 
Marry and so it does,  
Though he would spit his gall out.  Spa. 
Mark that Secco.  Sil. 
d'ye pump for a reply?  R. 
The learned differ  
In that point; grand and famous Scholars often  
Have argued pro and con, and left it doubtful;  
Volumes have been writ on't. If then great Clerks  
Suspend their resolutions, 'tis a modesty  
For me to silence mine.  Fla. 
Dull and phlegmatic.  Cla. 
Yet Women sure in such a case are ever  
More secret than men are.  Sil. 
Yea and talk less.  Rom. 
That is a truth much fabled, never found  
You secret? when your Dresses blab your vanities;  
Carnation for your Points? there's a gross babbler:  
Tawny, heigh ho, the pretty heart is wounded.  
A knot of Willow Ribbons she's forsaken?  
Another rides the Cockhorse, green and azure,  
Wince and cry we he like a Colt unbroken:  
But desperate black puts 'em in mind of fish days;  
When Lent spurs on Devotion, there's a famine:  
Yet love and judgement may help all this pother.  
Where are they? not in females?  Flo. 
In all sorts of men no doubt.  Sil. 
Else they were sots to choose.  Cla. 
To swear and flatter, sometimes lie for profit.  Ro. 
Not so forsooth, should love and judgement meet,  
The old, the fool; the ugly and deformed  
Could never be beloved; for example,  
Behold these two; this Madam and this shaver.  Mor. 
I do defy thee; am I old or ugly?  Sec. 
Tricks, knacks, devices, now it trolls about.  Rom. 
troll let it stripling, thou hast yet firm footing  
And needst not fear the Cuckold's livery.  
There's good Philosophy for't, take this for comfort,  
No horned Beasts have teeth in either gums:  
But thou art toothed on both sides, though she fail in't.  Mor. 
He's not jealous Sirrah.  Rom. 
That's his Fortune,  
Women indeed more jealous are then Men;  
But men have more cause.  Spa. 
There 'a rubbed your forehead, 'twas a tough blow.  Sec. 
It smarts.  Mor. 
Pox on him, let him  
Put's finger into any Gums of mine,  
He shall find I have teeth about me, sound ones.  Sec. 
You are a scurvy fellow, and I am made a coke's, an Ass; and this same filthy crone's a flirt. Whope do me no harm good Woman.  Exit Secco and Spadane. Spa. 
Now now he's in, I must not leave him so.  Troy. 
Morosa, what means this?  Mor. 
I know not I,  
He pinched me, called me names, most filthy names.  
Will ye part hence Sir, I will set ye packing.  Exit. Cla. 
You were indeed too broad, too violent.  Flo. 
Here's nothing meant but mirth.  Sil. 
The Gentleman  
Hath been a little pleasant.  Cla. 
Somewhat bitter  
Against our sex.  Cast. 
For which I promise him  
A ne'er proves choice of mine.  Rom. 
Not I your choice.  Troy. 
So she protested Signior.  Rom. 
Indeed.  Enters MOROSA. Cla. 
Why you are moved Sir?  Mor. 
Hence, there enters  
A civiller companion for fair Ladies  
Then such a sloven.  Ro. 
Beauties.  Troy. 
Time prevents us,  
Love and sweet thoughts accompany this presence.  Enter Octavio, Secco whispering him, Livio and Nitido. Octa. 
Enough, slip off, and on your life be secret.  Exit Secco. 
A lovely day, young creatures. To you Floria;  
To you Clarella, Silvia, to all service:  
But who is this fair stranger?  Li. 
Castamela,  
My Sister, noble Lord.  Oct. 
Let ignorance  
Of what you were, plead my neglect of manners,  
And this soft touch excuse it,  enriched  
This little family (most excellent Virgin)  
With th'honour of your company.  Cast. 
I find them  
Worthily graceful Sir.  Li. 
Are ye so taken?  Oct. 
Here are no public sights nor Courtly visitants,  
Which youth and active blood might stray in thought for:  
The companies are few, the pleasures single,  
And rarely to be brooked, perhaps by any;  
Not perfectly acquainted with this custom,  
Are they not lovely one?  Li. 
Sir, I dare answer  
My sister's resolution. Free converse  
Amongst so many of her Sex, so virtuous,  
She ever hath preferred before the surquedry  
Of protestation, or the vainer giddiness  
Of popular attendants.  Music. Cast. 
Well played Brother.  Oct. 
The meaning of this Music.  Mor. 
Please your Lordship,  
It is the Lady's hour for exercise  
In Song and Dance.  Oct. 
I dare not be the Author  
Of truanting the time then, neither will I.  Mor. 
Walk on dear Ladies.  Oct. 
'Tis a task of pleasure.  Li. 
Be now my Sister, stand a trial bravely:  Mor. 
Remember my instructions, or—  Exit. Manet Octa. and Castamela. Oct. 
With pardon.  
You are not of the number I presume yet,  
To be enjoined to hours. If you please,  
We for a little while may sit as judges  
Of their proficience, pray vouchsafe the favour.  Cast. 
I am Sir in a place to be commanded,  
As now the present urgeth.  Oct. 
No compulsion,  
That were too hard a word; where you are Sovereign  
Your yea and nay is Law: I have a suit tee.  Cast. 
For what Sir?  Oct. 
For your love.  Cast. 
To whom? I am not  
So weary of th'authority I hold  
Over mine own contents in sleeps and wakings;  
That I'd resign my liberty to any  
Who should control it.  Oct. 
Neither I intend so,  
Grant me an entertainment.  Cast. 
Of what nature?  Oct. 
To acknowledge me your creature.  Cast. 
Oh my Lord.  
You are too wise in years, too full of counsel  
For my green inexperience.  Oct. 
Love dear Maid,  
Is but desire of beauty, and 'tis proper  
For beauty to desire to be beloved.  
I am not free from passion, though the current  
Of a more lively heat runs slowly through me,  
My heart is gentle, and believe fresh Girl:  
Thou shalt not wish for any full addition,  
Which may adorn thy rarities to boast 'em;  
That bounty can, withhold this Academy.  
Of silent pleasures is maintained, but only  
To such a constant use.  Cast. 
You have belike then  
A Patent for concealing Virgins, otherwise  
Make plainer your intentions.  Oct. 
To be pleasant  
In practice of some outward senses only  
No more.  Cast. 
No, worse you dare not to imagine;  
Where such an awful innocency, as mine is,  
Outfaces every wickedness, your dotage  
Has lulled you in. I scent your cruel mercies,  
Your factress hath been tampering for my misery;  
Your old temptation; your she-devil— bear with  
A language which this place, and none but this, hath  
Infected my tongue with. The time will come too,  
When he (unhappy man) whom your advancement  
Hath ruined by being spaniel to your fortunes,  
Will curse 'a trained me hither— Livio,  
I must not call him Brother; this one act  
Hath rent him off the ancestry he sprung from.  Oct. 
The proffer of a noble courtesy  
Is checked it seems.  Cast. 
A courtesy? a bondage;  
You are a great man vicious, much more vicious,  
Because you hold a seeming league with charity  
Of pestilent nature, keeping hospitality  
For sensualists in your own Sepulchre,  
Even by your life time: yet are dead already.  Oct. 
How's this, come be more mild.  Cast. 
You chide me soberly,  
Than Sir I tune my voice to other Music;  
You are an eminent statist, be a Father  
To such unfriended Virgins, as your bounty  
Hath drawn into a scandal, you are powerful  
In means. A Bachelor, freed from the jealousies  
Of wants, convert this privacy of maintenance  
Into your own Court: let this (as you call it)  
Your Academy have a residence there;  
And there survey your charity yourself:  
That when you shall bestow on worthy husbands  
With fitting portions, such as you know worthy;  
You may yield to the present age example,  
And to posterity a glorious Chronicle:  
There were a work of piety: the other is  
A scorn upon your Tombstone; where the Reader  
Will but expound, that when you lived you pandered  
Your own purse and your same. I am too bold Sir,  
Some anger and some pity hath directed  
A wandering trouble.  Oct. 
Be not known what passages  
The time hath lent, for once I can bear with ye.  Cast. 
I'll countenance the hazard of suspicion.  
And be your guest a while.  Oct. 
Be— but hereafter—  
I know not what— Livio.  Enter LIVIO and MOROSA. Li. 
My Lord.  Cast. 
Indeed Sir  
I cannot part wi'ye yet.  Oct. 
Well then thou shalt not,  
My precious Castamela— thou hast a Sister,  
A perfect Sister Livio.  Mor. 
All is inked here  
Good soul indeed.  Li. 
I'd speak with you anon.  Cast. 
It may be so.  Oct. 
Come fair one.  Li. 
Oh I am cheated.  Exeunt omnes.  

ACT. IIII.  Enter LIVIO and CASTAMELA. Li. 
PRithee be serious.  Cast. 
Prithee interupt not  
The Paradise of my becharming thoughts,  
Which mount my knowledge to the sphere I move in,  
Above this useless tattle.  Li. 
Tattle? Sister,  
D'ee know to whom you talk this?  Cast. 
To the Gentleman  
Of my Lords Horse, new stepped into the Office:  
'Tis a good place Sir, if you can be thankful.  
Demean your carriage in it, so that negligence  
Or pride of your preferment oversway not  
The grace you hold in his esteem. Such fortunes  
Drop not down every day; observe the favour  
That raised you to this fortune.  Li. 
Thou mistak'st sure  
What person thou hold'st speech with.  Cast. 
Strange and idle.  Li. 
Is't possible? why? you are turned a Mistress,  
A Mistress of the trim; beshrew me Lady  
You keep a stately Port, but it becomes you not:  
Our Father's Daughter, if I err not rarely,  
Delighted in a softer humbler sweetness:  
Not in a hey-de-gay of scurvy Gallantry.  
You do not brave it like a thing o'th' fashion;  
You Ape the humour faintly.  Cast. 
Love dear Maid  
Is but desire of beauty, and 'tis proper  
For beauty to desire to be beloved.  Li. 
Fine sport, you mind not me; will you yet hear me Madam?  Cast. 
Thou shalt not wish for any full addition,  
Which may adorn thy rarities to boast 'em:  
That bounty can withhold— I know I shall not.  Li. 
And so you clapped the bargain, the conceit on't  
Tickles your contemplation. 'Tis come out now,  
A Woman's tongue I see, some time or other  
Will prove her Traitor: This was all I sifted,  
And here have found thee wretched.  Cast. 
We shall flourish.  
Feed high henceforth, man, and no more be straightened  
Within the limits of an empty patience:  
Nor tire our feeble eyes with gazing only  
On greatness, which enjoys the swinge of pleasures.  
But be ourselves the object of their envy,  
To whom a service would have seemed ambition.  
It was thy cunning Livio, I applaud it,  
Fear nothing; I'll be thrifty in thy projects:  
Want misery? may all such want as think on't;  
Our footing shall stand firm.  Li. 
You are much witty.  
Why Caestamcla, this to me? you counterfeit  
Most palpably. I am too well acquainted  
With thy condition Sister; if the Marquess  
Hath uttered one unchaste, one wanton syllable,  
Provoking thy contempt: not all the flatteries  
Of his assurance to our hopes of rising,  
Can or shall slave our souls.  Cast. 
Indeed not so Sir,  
You are beside the point, most gentle Signior,  
I'll be no more your ward, no longer chambered,  
Nor mewed up to the lure of your Devotion:  
Trust me, I must not, will not, dare not; surely  
I cannot for my promise past; and sufferance  
Of former trials hath too strongly armed me:  
You may take this for answer.  Li. 
In such earnest?  
Hath goodness left thee quite? fool thou art wandering  
In dangerous fogs, which will corrupt the purity  
Of every noble virtue dwelled within thee.  
Come home again, home Castamela Sister;  
Home to thine own simplicity, and rather  
Than yield thy memory up to the Witchcraft  
Of an abused confidence; be courted  
For Romanello.  Cast. 
Romanello.  Li. 
scorn'st thou  
The name? thy thoughts I find then are changed rebels  
To all that's honest, that's to truth and honour.  Cast. 
So Sir, and in good time.  Li. 
Thou art fall'n suddenly  
Into a pleurisy of faithless impudence;  
A whorish itch infects thy blood; a leprosy  
Of raging lust, and thou art mad to prostitute  
The glory of thy Virgin dower basely  
For common sale. This foulness must be purged,  
Or thy disease will rankle to a pestilence,  
Which can even taint the very air about thee:  
But I shall study Physic.  Cast. 
Learn good manners:  
I take it you are saucy.  Li. 
Saucy? strumpet  
In thy desires: 'tis in my power to cut off  
The twist thy life is spun by.  Cast. 
Phew, you rave now:  
But if you have not perished all your reason,  
Know I will use my freedom; you (forsooth)  
For change of fresh apparel, and the pocketing  
Of some well looking Ducats, were contented,  
Passingly pleased, yes marry were you (mark it)  
To expose me to the danger now you rail at.  
Brought me, nay forced me hither, without question  
Of what might follow, here you find the issue:  
And I distrust not but it was th' appointment  
Of some succeeding fate that more concerned me  
Then widowed virginity.  Li. 
You are a gallant  
One of my old Lord Fancies. Peevish girl  
Was't ever heard that youth could dote on sickness,  
A grey beard, wrinkled face, a dried up marrow,  
A toothless head,— a— this is but a merriment,  
Merely but trial. Romanello loves thee,  
Has not abundance, true, yet cannot want.  
Return with me, and I will leave these fortunes,  
Good Maid, of gentle nature.  Cast. 
By my hopes,  
I never placed affection on that Gentleman,  
Though 'a deserved well; I have told him often  
My resolution.  Li. 
Will you hence, and trust to  
My care of settling you a peace.  Cast. 
No surely,  
Such treaty may break off.  Li. 
Off be't broken,  
I'll do what thou shalt rue.  Cast. 
You cannot Livio.  Li. 
So confident? young Mistress mine, I'll do't.  Exit. Enter TROYLO. Troy. 
Incomparable Maid.  Cast. 
You have been Counsellor  
To a strange Dialogue.  Troy. 
If there be constancy  
In protestation of a virtuous nature;  
You are secure, as the effects shall witness.  Cast. 
Be noble, I am credulous, my language  
Hath prejudiced my heart; I and my Brother  
ne'er parted at such distance; yet I glory  
In the fair race he runs: but fear the violence  
Of his disorder.  Troy. 
Little time shall quit him.  Enter Secco leading Nitido in a Garter with one hand, a Rod in his other; followed by Morosa, Silvia, Floria, Clarella; Spadone behind laughing. Sec. 
The young Whelp is mad, I must slice the worm out of his breech: I have noosed his neck in the Collar; and I will once turn Dog-leech. Stand from about me, or you'll find me terrible and furious.  Nit. 
Lady's good Ladies, dear Madam Morosa.  Flo. 
Honest Secco.  Sil. 
What was the cause? what wrong has he done to thee?  Cla. 
Why dost thou fright us so, and art so peremptory where we are present fellow?  Mor. 
Honey-bird, Spouse, catamountain; ah the Child, the pretty poor Child; the sweet faced Child.  Spa. 
That very word halters the earwig.  Sec. 
Off I say, or I shall lay bare all the naked truth to your faces: his foreparts have been so lusty, and his posteriors must do penance for't: Untruss Whiskin untruss; away burrs, out mare-hag moil; avaunt, thy turn comes next, avaunt thy turn comes next; avaunt the Horns of my rage are advanced; hence or I shall gore ye.  Spa. 
Lash him soundly, let the little Ape show tricks.  Nie. 
Help, or I shall be throttled.  Mor. 
Yes, I will help thee pretty heart, if my tongue cannot prevail; my nails shall. Barbarous minded man, let go, or I shall use my talons.  Spa. 
Well played Dog, well played Bear, sa, sa, sa; to't to't.  Sec. 
Fury, whore, bawd, my Wife and the Devil.  Mor. 
tosspot, stinkard, pander, my husband & a rascal.  Spa. 
Scold Coxcomb, baggage, Cuckold.  
Crabbed Age and Youth  
Cannot jump together:  
One is like good luck,  
Tother like foul weather.  Troy. 
Let us fall in now: What uncivil rudeness  
Dares offer a disturbance to this company.  
Peace and delights dwell here, not brawls and outrage:  
Sirrah be sure you show some reasons why  
You so forget your duty? quickly show it,  
Or I shall tame your choler; what's the ground on't?  Spa. 
Humh how's that? how's that? is he there with a Wanion? Then do I begin to dwindle,— O oh, the fit, the fit; the fits upon me now, now now now.  Sec. 
It shall out. First then know all Christian people jews and Infidels, he's and she's, by these presents, that I am a beast; see what I say, I say a very beast.  Troy. 
'Tis granted.  Sec. 
Go to then, a horned beast: a goodly tall horned beast in pure verity a Cuckold: nay I will tickle their Trangdidoes.  Mor. 
Ah thou base fellow! wouldst thou confess it and it were so: but 'tis not so, and thou liest and loudly.  Troy. 
Patience Morosa, you are you say a Cuckold.  Sec. 
He justify my words; I scorn to eat 'em: this sucking Ferret hath been wriggling in my old Coney borough.  Mor. 
The Boy, the Babe, the Infant; I spit at thee.  Cast. 
Fie Secco fie.  Sec. 
Appear Spadone, my proofs are pregnant and gross: truth is the truth; I must and I will be divorced. speak Spadone and exalt thy voice.  Spa. 
Who I speak, alas I cannot speak I.  Nit. 
As I hope to live to be a man.  Sec. 
damn the prick of thy weasand Pipe: where but two lie in a bed you must be Bodkin bitch-baby must ye. Spadone, am I a Cuckold or no Cuckold?  Spa. 
Why? you know I an ignorant unable trifle in such business; an Oaf, a simple Alcatote; an Innocent.  Sec. 
Nay nay nay, no matter for that; this Ramkin hath tupped my old rotten carrion Mutton.  Mor. 
Rotten in thy maw, thy guts and garbage.  Sec. 
Spadone speak aloud what I am.  Spa. 
I do not know.  Sec. 
What hast thou seen 'em doing together? doing.  Spa. 
Nothing.  Mor. 
Are thy mad brains in thy mazzard now, thou jealous Bedlam?  Sec. 
Didst not thou from time to time tell me as much?  Spa. 
Never.  Sec. 
Heyday, Ladies and Signior I am abused, they are agreed to scorn jeer and run me out of my wits; by consent this gelded hobbadehoy is a corrupted Pander: the page a milk livered Dildo; my Wife a Whore confessed; and I myself a Cuckold arrant.  Spa. 
Truly Secco for the ancient good Woman; I dare swear pointblank; and the Boy surely, I ever said was to any man's thinking, a very chrisom in the thing you wot, that's my opinion clearly.  Cla. 
What a wise goose-cap hast thou showed thyself?  Sec. 
Here in my forehead it sticks, and stick it shall. law I will have; I will never more tumble in sheets with thee; I will father no misbegotten of thine; the Court shall trounce thee, the City cashier thee, diseases devour thee, and the Spittle confound thee.  Exit. Cast. 
The man has dreamed himself into a lunacy.  Sil. 
Alas poor Nitido.  Nit. 
Truly I am innocent.  Mor. 
Marry art thou, so thou art; the World says how virtuously I have carried my good name in every part about me, these threescore years and odd; and at last to slip with a child; there are men, men enough, tough and lusty (I hope) if one would give their mind to the iniquity of the flesh, but this is the life I ha' led with him a while since when 'a lies by me as cold as a dry stone.  Troy. 
This only (Ladies) is a fit of novelty,  
All will be reconciled, I doubt, Spadone;  
Here is your hand in this howe'er denied.  Spa. 
Faithfully in truth forsooth.  Troy. 
Well, well enough— Morosa, be less troubled;  
This little jar is argument of love,  
It will prove lasting; Beauties, I attend ye.  Ex. Troy. La. Spa. 
Youngling, a word youngling: have not you scaped the lash handsomely? thank me for't  Nit. 
I fear thy roguery, and I shall find it.  Spa. 
Is't possible, give me thy little fist, we are friends; have a care henceforth, remember this whilst you live. And still the Urehin would, but could not do :Pretty knave, and so forth: Come, truce on all hands.  Nit. 
Beshrew your fool's head; this was jest in earnest.  Exeunt. Enter ROMANELLO. Rom. 
I will converse with beasts; there is in mankind  
No sound society, but in woman (bless me)  
Nor faith nor reason: I may justly wonder  
What trust was in my Mother.  Enter a Servant. Ser. 
A caroche, sir,  
Stand at the Gate.  Rom. 
Stand let it still, and freeze there:  
Make sure the socks.  Ser. 
Too late, you are prevented.  Enter Flavia, Camilla, and Vespuci. Fla. 
Brother, I come—  Rom. 
Unlooked for;— I but sojourn  
myself; I keep nor house, nor entertainments,  
French Cooks composed, Italian Collations;  
Rich Persian surfeits, with a train of services,  
Befitting exquisite Ladies, such as you are,  
Perfume not our low Roofs;— the way lies open  
That there.— Good day, great Madam.  Fla. 
Why d'ye slight me?  
For what one act of mine, even from my Childhood,  
Which may deliver my deserts inferior  
Or to our Births or Family; is Nature  
Become, in your contempt of me, a Monster?  Ves. 
What's this Camillo!  Cam. 
Not the strain in ordinary.  Rom. 
I'm out of tune to chop discourses— however,  
You are a Woman.  Fla. 
Pensive and unfortunate,  
Wanting a Brother's bosom to disburden  
More griefs, then female weakness can keep league with;  
Let worst of malice, voiced in loud report,  
Spit what le dares invent against my actions;  
And it shall never find a power to blemish  
My mention, other than beseems a patient:  
I not repine at lownesses; and the Fortunes  
Which I attend on now, are as I value them,  
No new creation to a looser liberty:  
Your strangeness only may beget a change  
In wild opinion.  Cam. 
here's another tang of sense, Vespucci.  Ves. 
Listen and observe,  Rom. 
Are not you pray ye, (nay, we'll be contented  
In presence of your Ushers, once to prattle.  
Some idle minutes) are you not enthroned  
The Lady Regent, by whose special influence  
july the Count of Camerine is ordered?  Fla. 
His Wife 'tis known I am; and in that title,  
Obedient to a service; else, of greatness  
The quiet of my wish was ne'er ambitious.  Rom. 
He loves you?  Fla. 
As worthily, as dearly.  Rom. 
And 'tis believed how practice quickly fashioned  
A port of humorous anticness in carriage,  
Discourse, demeanour, gestures.  Cam. 
Put home roundly.  Ves. 
A ward for that blow.  Fla. 
Safety, of mine Honour,  
Instructed such deceit.  Rom. 
Your Honour?  Fla. 
Witness  
This brace of sprightly Gallants, whose confederacy  
Presumed to plot a siege.  Cam. 
Ves. we, Madam I  Rom. 
On, on,  
Some leisure serves us now.  Fla. 
Still as Lord julio  
Pursued his Contract with the man (oh pardon  
If I forget to name him) by whose poverty  
Of honest truth, I was renounced in Marriage.  
These two, entrusted for a secret Courtship,  
By tokens, letters, message, in their turnes,  
Proffered their own devotions, as they termed them,  
Almost unto an impudence; regardless  
Of him, on whose supportance they relied.  Rom. 
Dare not for both your lives to interrupt her.  Fla. 
Baited thus to vexation, I assumed  
A dulness of simplicity; till afterwards  
Lost to my City, Freedom, and now entered  
Into this present state of my Condition;  
(Concluding henceforth absolute security  
From their lascivious Villainies) I continued  
My former custom of ridiculous lightness,  
As they did their pursuit; t'acquaint my Lord, were  
T'have ruined their best certainty of living:  
But that might yield suspicion in my nature;  
And woman may be virtuous without mischief,  
To such as tempt them.  Rom. 
You are much to blame sirs,  
Should all be truth is uttered.  Fla. 
For that Justice  
I did command them hither, for a privacy  
In conference twixt Flavia and her brother  
Needed no Secretaries such as these are:  
Now Romanello, thou art every refuge  
I sly for right to; if I be thy Sister,  
And not a Bastard, answer their confession,  
Or threaten vengeance, with perpetual silence.  Cam. 
My follies are acknowledged; y'are a Lady  
Who have outdone example: when I trespass  
In aught but duty, and respects of service,  
May hopes of joys forsake me.  Ves. 
To like penance  
I join a constant votary.  Rom. 
Peace then  
Is ratified,— my Sister thou hast wakened  
Entranced affection from its steep to knowledge  
Of once more who thou art; no jealous frenzy  
Shall hazard a distrust: reign in thy sweetness,  
Thou only worthy Woman; these two Converts  
Record our hearty union, I have shaken off  
My thraldom, Lady, and have made discoveries  
Of famous Novels; but of those hereafter;  
Thus we seal love, you shall know all and wonder.  Enter LIVIO. Liv. 
Health and his hearts desire to Romanello;  
My welcome I bring with me; noblest Lady,  
Excuse an ignorance of your fair presence;  
This may be bold intrusion.  Fla. 
Not by me, Sir.  Rom. 
You are not frequent here as I remember;  
But since you bring your welcome with you, Livio,  
Be bold to use it; to the point.  Liv. 
This Lady,  
With both these Gentlemen, in happy hour  
May be partakers of the long lived amity,  
Our souls must live in.  Rom. 
So belike the Marquess  
Stores some new grace, some special close employment,  
For whom your kind commends by deputation  
Please think on to oblige, and Livio's charity  
Descends on Romanello liberally, above my means to thank.  Liv. 
Sienna sometimes  
Has been informed how gladly there did pass  
A treaty of chaste loves with Castamela;  
From this good heart, it was in me an error  
Wilful and causeless, 'tis confessed, that hindered  
Such honourable prosecution,  
Even and equal; better thoughts consider,  
How much I wronged the gentle course which led ye  
To vows of true affection; us of friendship.  Rom. 
Sits the wind there boy; leaving formal circumstance, proceed; you dally yet.  Liv. 
Then without plea,  
For countenancing what has been injurious  
On my part, I am come to tender really  
My Sister a loved Wife t'ye; freely take her  
Right honest man, and as ye live together,  
May your increase of years prove but one spring,  
One lasting flourishing youth; she is your own,  
My hands shall perfect what's required to ceremony.  Fla. 
Brother, this day was meant a holiday,  
For feast on every side.  Rom. 
The new-turned Courtier  
Proffers most frankly; but withal leaves out  
A due consideration of the narrowness  
Our short estate is bounded in, some Politics  
As they rise up (like Livio) to perfection  
In their own competencies, gather also  
Grave supplement of providence and wisdom;  
Yet he abates in his— you use a triumph  
In your advantages, it smells of state:  
We know you are no fool.  Fla. 
Sooth I believe him.  Cam. 
Else 'twere imposture.  Ves. 
Folly rank, and sense less.  Liv. 
Enjoin an oath at large.  Rom. 
Since you mean earnest,  
Receive in satisfaction; I am resolved  
For single life; there was a time (was Livio)  
When indiscretion blinded forecast in me;  
But recollection, with your rules of thriftiness,  
Prevailed against all passion.  Liv. 
You'd be courted,  
Courtship's the child of coyness Romanello;  
And for the Rules 'tis possible to name them.  Rom. 
A single life's no burden; but to draw  
In yokes is chargeable, and doth require  
A double maintenance; Livio's very words,  
For he can live without a wife and purchase,  
By'r Lady so you do Sir, send you joy on't;  
These rules you see are possible, and answered.  Liv. 
Full,— answer was late mate to this already,  
My Sister's only thine.  Rom. 
Where lives the Creature  
Your pity stoops to pin upon your servant?  
Not in a Nunnery for a year's probation?  
Fie on such coldness, there are BOWRDS OF FANCIES  
Ravished from troops of Fairy Nymphs, and Virgins  
Culled from the downy breasts of Queens their Mothers,  
In the Titanian Empire, far from Mortals:  
But these are tales; troth I have quite abandoned  
All loving humour.  Liv. 
Here is scorn in Riddles,  Rom. 
Were there another Marquess in Sienna  
More potent than the same who is vicegerent  
To the great Duke of Florence, our grand Master:  
Were the great Duke himself here, and would lift up  
My head to fellow pomp amongst his Nobles,  
By falsehood to the honour of a Sister,  
Urging me instrument in his Seraglio;  
I'd tear the Wardrobe of an outside from him  
Rather than live a Pandar to his bribery.  Liv. 
So would the he you talk to, Romanello,  
Without a noise that's singular.  Rom. 
she's a Countess  
Flavia, she; but she has an Earl her Husband,  
Though far from our procurement.  Liv. 
Castamela  
Is refused then.  Rom. 
Never designed my Choice,  
You know and I know (Livio) more I tell thee,  
A noble honesty ought to give allowance,  
When reason intercedes; by all that's manly,  
I range not in derision but compassion.  Liv. 
Intelligence flies swiftly.  Rom. 
Pretty swiftly;  
We have compared the Copy with the Original,  
And find no disagreement.  Liv. 
So my Sister  
Can be no wife for Romanello?  Rom. 
No, no,  
One Noah once more and ever;— this your courtesy  
Foiled me a second;— Sir, you brought a welcome,  
You must not part without it; scan with pity  
My plainness, I intend nor gall, nor quarrel.  Liv. 
Far be't from me to press a blame, great Lady;  
I kiss your noble hands, and to these Gentlemen  
Present a civil parting; Romanello,  
By the next foot-Post thou wilt hear some news  
Of alteration; if I send, come to me.  Rom. 
Questionless, yea.  Liv. 
My thanks may quit the favour.  Exit. Fla. 
Brother his intercourse of conference,  
Appears at once perplexed, but withal sensible.  Rom. 
Doubts easily resolved; upon your virtues  
The whole foundation of my peace is grounded:  
I'll guard ye to your home, lost in one comfort  
Here I have found another.  Fla. 
Goodness prosper it.  Exeunt.  

ACT. V.  Enter OCTAVIO, TROYLO, SECCO, and NITIDO. Oct. 
NO more of these complaints and clamours;  
Have we nor enemies abroad,  
Nor waking Sycophants,  
Who peering through our actions, wait occasion  
By which they watch to lay advantage open  
To vulgar descant, but amongst ourselves  
Some whom we call our own must practise scandal  
(Out of a liberty of ease and fullness)  
Against our honour, we shall quickly order  
Strange reformation Sirs, and you will find it.  Troy. 
When Servants servants, slaves, once relish licence  
Of good opinion from a noble nature,  
They take upon them boldness to abuse  
Such interest, and Lord it o'er their fellows,  
As if they were exempt from that condition.  Oct. 
He is unfit to manage public matters  
Who knows not how to rule at home his household;  
You must be jealous (puppy) of a Boy too;  
Raise uproars, (bandy noise) amongst young Maidens;  
Keep revels in your madness, use authority  
Of giving punishment; a fool must fool ye;  
And this is all but pastime, as you think it.  Nit. 
With your good Lordship's favour, since, Spadone  
Confessed it was a gullery put on Secco,  
For some revenge meant me.  Troy. 
He vowed it truth  
Before the Ladies in my hearing.  Oct. 
Sirrah,  
I'll turn you to your shop again and trinkets,  
Your suds and pan of small-coal; take your damsel  
The grand old rag, of beauty; your death's head;  
Try then what custom reverence can trade in;  
Fiddle, and play your pranks amongst your neighbours;  
That all the town may roar ye; now ye simper  
And look like a shaved skull.  Nit. 
This comes of prating.  Sec. 
I am my Lord a worm, pray my Lord tread on  
me, I will not turn again; 'las I shall never venture  
To hang my Pole out; on my knees I begs it,  
My bare knees, I will down unto my wife  
And do what she will have me, all I can do;  
Nay more, (if she will have it) ask forgiveness,  
Be an obedient Husband; never cross her,  
Unless sometimes in kindness: signior Troylo,  
Speak one sweet word; I'll swear 'twas in my madness,  
I said I knew not what, and that no creature  
Was brought by you amongst the Ladies, Nitido  
I'll forswear thee too.  Oct. 
Wait a while our pleasure;  
You shall know more anon.  Sec. 
Remember me now.  Exeunt. Oct. 
Troylo, thou art my brother's son, and nearest  
In blood to me; thou hast been next in counsels.  
Those ties of nature (if thou canst consider  
How much they do engage) work by instinct  
In every worthy or ignoble mention  
Which can concern me.  Troy. 
Sir, they have and shall  
As long as I bear life.  Oct. 
Henceforth the Stewardship  
My carefulness, for the honour of our Family  
Has undertook, must yield the world account,  
And make clear reckonings; yet we stand suspected  
In our even courses.  Troy. 
But when time shall wonder  
How much it was mistaken in the issue  
Of honourable, and secure contrivements.  
Your wisdom crowned with laurels of a justice  
Deserving approbation will quite foil  
The ignorance of popular opinion.  Oct. 
Report is merry with my feats; my dotage  
Undoubtedly the Vulgar voice doth carol it.  Troy. 
True Sir, but Romanello's late admission  
Warrants that giddy confidence of rumor  
Without all contradiction; now 'tis Oracle,  
And so received; I am confirmed, the Lady  
By this time proves his scorn as well as laughter.  Oct. 
And we with her his tabletalk— she stands not  
In any firm affection to him.  Troy. 
None Sir,  
More than her wonted Nobleness afforded  
Out of a civil custom.  Oct. 
We are resolute  
In our determination, meaning quickly  
To cause these clouds fly off; the ordering of it  
Nephew is thine.  Enter Livio. Troy. 
Your care and love commands me.  Liv. 
I come, my Lord, a Suitor.  Oct. 
Honest Livio,  
Perfectly honest, really; no fallacies  
No flaws are in thy truth: I shall promote thee  
To place more eminent.  Troy. 
Livio deserves it.  Oct. 
What suit? speak boldly.  Liv. 
Pray discharge my office,  
My mastership; 'twere better live a yeoman  
And live with men, then over-eye your houses,  
Whiles I myself am ridden like a jade.  Oct. 
Such breath sounds but ill manners; know young man,  
Old as we are, our Soul retains a fire  
Active and quick in motion, which shall equal  
The daringest boys' ambition of true manhood  
That wears a pride to brave us.  Troy. 
He is my friend, Sir.  Oct. 
You are weary of our service, and may leave it.  
We can court no man's duty.  Liv. 
Without passion,  
My Lord, d'ye think your Nephew here, your Troylo  
Parts in your spirit as freely as your blood;  
'Tis no rude question.  Oct. 
Had you known his Mother  
You might have sworn her honest; let him justify  
Himself not base borne: for thy sister's sake  
I do conceive the like of thee; be wiser,  
But prate to me no more thus;— if the gallant  
Resolve on my attendance, ere he leave me,  
Acquaint him with the present service, Nephew,  
I meant to employ him in.  Exit. Troy. 
Fie Livio, wherefore  
Turned wild upon the sudden.  Liv. 
Pretty Gentleman,  
How modestly you move your doubts? how tamely?  
Ask Romanello, he hath without leave  
Surveyed your Bowers of FANCIES, hath discovered  
The mystery of those pure Nuns; those chaste ones,  
Untouched forsooth; the holy Academy:  
Hath found a Mother's daughter there of mine too,  
And one who called my Father Father, talks out,  
Ruffles in mirth on't; baffled to my face  
The glory of her greatness by it.  Troy. 
Truly.  Liv. 
Death to my sufferance, canst thou hear this misery,  
And answer't with a truly? 'twas thy wickedness  
False as thine own heart tempted my credulity,  
That, her to ruin; she was once an innocent,  
As free from spot, as the blue face of heaven  
Without a cloud in't; she is now as sullied  
As is that Canopy, when mists and vapours  
Divide it from our sight, and threaten pestilence.  Troy. 
Says he so, Livio.  Liv. 
Yes, an't like your nobleness;  
He truly does so say; your breach of friendship  
With me, must borrow courage from your Uncle,  
Whiles your sword talks an answer; there's no remedy,  
I will have satisfaction, though thy life  
Come short of such demand.  Troy. 
Then satisfaction  
Much worthier than your sword can force, you shall have,  
Yet mine shall keep the peace; I can be angry  
And brave aloud in my reply; but honour  
Schools me to fitter grounds, this as a gentleman  
I promise ere the minutes of the night  
Warn us to rest, such satisfaction (hear me  
And credit it) as more you cannot wish for,  
So much not think of.  Liv. 
Not? the time is short,  
Before our sleeping hour: you vow.  Troy. 
I do,  
Before we ought to sleep.  Liv. 
So I intend to,  
On confidence of which, what left the Marquessa  
In charge for me? I'll do't.  Troy. 
Invite Count julio  
His Lady, and her brother, with their company  
To my Lords Court at Supper.  Liv. 
Easy business,  
And then.—  Troy. 
And then soon after, the performance  
Of my past vow waits on ye, but be certain  
You bring them with ye.  Liv. 
Yet your servant.  Troy. 
nearer my friend, you'll find no less.  Liv. 
'Tis strange, is't possible.  Exeunt. Enter Castamela, Clarella, Floria, and Silvia. Cast. 
You have discoursed to me a lovely story,  
My heart doth dance toth' music; 'twere a sin  
Should I in any tittle stand distrustful  
Where such a people such as you are, innocent  
Even by the Patent of your years and language,  
Inform a truth; O talk it over again;  
Ye are ye say three daughters of one mother,  
That Mother only Sister to the Marquess,  
Whose charge hath since her death (being left a widow)  
Here in this place preferred your education:  
Is't so?  Cla. 
It is even so, and howsoever  
Report may wander loosely in some scandal  
Against our privacies; yet we have wanted  
No graceful means fit for our births and qualities,  
To train us up into a virtuous knowledge  
Of what, and who we ought to be.  Flo. 
Our Uncle  
Hath often told us, how it more concerned him  
Before he showed us to the world, to render  
Our youths and our demeanours in each action  
Approved by his experience, then too early  
Adventure on the follies of the age,  
By prone temptations fatal.  Sil. 
In good deed la,  
We mean no harm.  Cast. 
Deceit must want a shelter  
Under a roof, that's covering to souls  
So white as breaths beneath it, such as these are;  
My happiness shares largely in this blessing,  
And I must thank direction of the providence  
Which led me hither.  Cla. 
Aptly have you styled it,  
A providence for ever in chaste loves,  
Such majesty hath power,— our Kinsman Troylo  
Was herein his own factor; he will prove,  
Believe him Lady, every way as constant,  
As noble, we can bail him from the cruelty  
Of misconstruction.  Flo. 
You will find his tongue  
But a just Secretary to his heart.  Cast. 
The Guardianess  
(Dear Creatures) now and then, it seems  
Makes bold to talk.  Cla. 
Sh'as waited on us  
From all our Cradles, will prate sometimes oddly,  
However means but sport; I am unwilling  
Our household should break up, but must obey  
His wisdom, under whose command we live:  
Sever our companies I'm sure we shall not;  
Yet 'tis a pretty life this and a quiet.  Enter Morosa, Secco, his apron on, Basin of water, Scissors, Comb, Towels, Razor, &c. Sec. 
Chuck, duckling, honey, mouse, monkey all and every thing; I am thine ever and only, will never offend again, as I hope to shave clean and get honour by't, heartily I ask forgiveness; be gracious to thine own flesh and blood, and kiss me home.  Mor. 
Look you provoke us no more, for this time you shall find mercy;— was't that hedgehog set thy brains a crowing? be quits with him, but do not hurt the great male-baby.  Sec. 
Enough, I am wise, and will be merry,— haste Beauties, the Caroches will sudden receive ye; a night of pleasure is toward, pray for good husbands a piece, that may trim you featly, (dainty ones) and let me alone to trim them.  Mor. 
Loving hearts be quick as soon as ye can, time runs apace; what you must do, do nimbly, and give your minds to't; young bloods stand fumbling? fie away, be ready for shame beforehand; husband, stand to thy tackling husband, like a man of mettle: go, go, go.  Exit Morosa and Ladies. Sec. 
Will ye come away loiterers? shall I wait all day? Am I at livery d'ye think.  Enter Spadone ready to be trimmed, and Nitido. Spa. 
Here and ready; what a mouthing thou keep'st, I have but scoured my hands, and curried my head to save time, honest Secco, neat Secco, precious barbarian, now thou look'st like a worshipful Tooth-drawer, would I might see thee on horseback, in the pomp once.  Sec. 
A Chair, a Chair, quick, quick.  Nit. 
Here's a chair, a chair politic, my fine boy, sit thee down in triumph, and rise one of the nine Worthies; thou'lt be a sweet youth anon sirrah.  Spa. 
So, to work with a grace now, I cannot but highly be in love with the fashion of Gentry, which is never complete, till the snipsnap of dexterity, hath mowed off the excrements of slovenry.  Sec. 
Very commodiously delivered I protest.  Nit. 
Nay, the thing under your fingers is a whelp of the wits I can assure you.  Spa. 
I a whelp of the wits? no, no, I cannot bark impudently, and ignorantly enough;— oh, and a man of this Art had now and then Sovereignty over fair Ladies, you would tickle their upper and their lower lips, you'd so smooch and belaver their chops.  Sec. 
We light on some offices for Ladies too, as occasion serves.  Nit. 
Yes, frizzle or powder their hair, plane their eyebrows, set a nap on their cheeks, keep secrets, and tell news; that's all.  Sec. 
Wink fast with both your eyes, the ingredients to the composition of this ball, are most odorous Camphire, pure soap of Venice, oil of sweet Almonds, with the spirit of Allome; they will search and smart shrewdly, if you keep not the shop-windows of your head close.  Spa. 
News? well remembered, that's part of your trade too (prithee do not rub so roughly) and how goes the tattle o'th' town? what novelties stirring, ha?  Sec. 
Strange, and scarce to be credited; a gelding was lately seen to leap an old Mare; and an old man of one hundred and twelve stood in a white sheet for getting a wench of fifteen with child, here hard by, most admirable and portentous.  Spa. 
I'll never believe it, 'tis impossible.  Nit. 
Most certain, some Doctor Farriers are of opinion that the Mare may cast a Foal, which the Master of their Hall conclude in spite of all Jockeys and their familiars, will carry every race before him, without spur or switch.  Spa. 
O rare, a man might venture ten or twenty to one safely then, and ne'er be in danger o' the cheat;— this water methinks is none of the sweetest; Camphire and soap of Venice say ye.  Sec. 
With a little grecum album for mundification.  Nit. 
Grecum album is a kind of white presumed powder, which plain Country people, I believe, call dog-musk.  Spa. 
dog-musk, pox o'the dog-musk, what dost mean to bleach my nose, thou giv'st such twitches to't? set me at liberty as soon as thou canst, gentle Secco  Sec. 
Only pare off a little superfluous down from your chin, and all's done.  Spa. 
Pish, no matter for that; dispatch, I entreat thee.  Nit. 
Have patience man, 'tis for his credit to be neat.  Spa. 
What's that so cold at my throat; and scrubs so hard?  Sec. 
A kind of steel instrument yclept a Razor, a sharp tool and a keen, it has a certain virtue of cutting a throat, if a man please to give his mind to't;— hold up your muzzle Signior,— when did you talk bawdily to my wife last? tell me for your own good (Signior) I advise you.  Spa. 
I talk bawdily to thy wife? hang bawdry; good now mind thy business, lest thy hand slip.  Nit. 
Give him kind words you were best, for a toy that I know.  Sec. 
Confess, or I shall mar your grace in whiffing Tobacco or squirting of sweet wines down your gullet;— you have been offering to play the gelding we told ye of I suppose;— speak truth, (move the semicircle of your countenance to my left hand file) out with the truth; would you have had a leap.  Nit. 
Spadone, thou art in a lamentable pickle, have a good heart and pray if thou canst, I pity thee.  Spa. 
I protest and vow friend Secco, I know no leaps, I.  Sec. 
Letcherously goatish and an Eunuch? this cut, and then—  Spa. 
Confound thee, thy leaps and thy cuts, I am no Eunuch, you finical ass, I am no Eunuch; but at all points as well provided, as any he in Italy, and that thy Wife could have told thee: this your conspiracy, to thrust my head into a brazen tub of kitchen-sea, hoodwink mine eyes in mud-soap, and then offer to cut my throat in the dark like a Coward? I may live to be revenged on both of ye.  Nit. 
Oh scurvy! thou art angry, feel man whether thy weasand be not cracked first.  Sec. 
You must fiddle my brains into a jealousy, rub my temples with saffron, and burnish my forehead with the juice of yellows: have I fitted ye now sir?  Enter Morosa. Spa. 
All's whole yet I hope?  Mor. 
Yes, sirrah; all is whole yet; but if ever thou dost speak treason against my sweeting and me once more, thou'lt find a roguy bargain on't; dear, this was handled like one of spirit and discretion: Nitido has paged it trimly too; no wording, but make ready and attend at Court.  Sec. 
Now we know thou art a man; we forget what hath passed, and are fellows and friends again.  Nit. 
Wipe your face clean; and take heed of a Razor.  Spa. 
The fear put me into a sweat; I cannot help it; I am glad I have my throat mine own, and must laugh for Company, or be laughed at.  Exit. Enter Livio, and Troylo. Liv. 
You find Sir, I have proved a ready servant,  
And brought th'expected guests, amidst these feastings,  
These costly entertainments; you must pardon  
My incivility that here sequesters  
Your ears from choice of music, or discourse  
To a less pleasant parley; night draws on,  
And quickly will grow old; it were unmanly  
For any Gentleman, who loves his honour,  
To put it on the rack; here is small comfort  
Of such a satisfaction as was promised,  
Though certainly it must be had; pray tell me  
What can appear about me to be used thus?  
My soul is free from injuries.  Troy. 
My tongue from serious untruths, I never wronged you,  
Love you too well to mean it now.  Liv. 
Not wronged me?  
(Blessed Heaven!) this is the bandy of a patience  
Beyond all sufferance.  Troy. 
If your own acknowledgement  
Quit me not fairly ere the hours of rest  
Shall shut our eyes up, say I made a forfeit  
Of what no length of years can once redeem.  Liv. 
Fine whirls in tame imagination; on sir,  
It is scarce mannerly at such a season,  
Such a solemnity (the place and presence  
Considered) with delights, to mix combustions.  Troy. 
Prepare for free contents, and give 'em welcome.  Flourish. Enter Octavio, julio, Flavia, Romanello, Camillo and Vespuoi. Oct. 
I dare not study words, or hold a compliment  
For this particular; this special favour.  Iul. 
Your bounty and your love, my Lord, must justly  
Engage a thankfulness.  Fla. 
Indeed  
Varieties of entertainment here  
Have so exceeded all account of plenty,  
That you have left (great Sir) no rarities  
Except an equal welcome which may purchase  
Opinion of a common Hospitality.  Oct. 
But for this grace (Madam) I will lay open  
Before your judgements which I know can rate 'em  
A Cabinet of jewels, rich and lively,  
The world can show none goodlier; those I prize  
Dear as my life— Nephew—  Troy. 
Sir, I obey you.—  Exit. Fla. 
jewels, my Lord.  Oct. 
No strangers eye ere viewed them,  
Unless your Brother Romanello haply  
Was would unto a sight for his approvement:  
No more.  Rom. 
Not I, I do protest; I hope Sir  
You cannot think I am a lapidary;  
I skill in jewels?  Oct. 
'Tis a proper quality  
For any Gentleman; your other friends  
May be are not so coy.  Iul. 
Who they, they know not  
A topaz from an Opal.  Cam. 
We are ignorant  
In gems which are not common.  Ves. 
But his Lordship  
Is pleased (it seems) to try our ignorance.  
For passage of the time, till they are brought,  
Pray look upon a Letter lately sent me,  
Lord julio, (Madam) Romanello, read  
A novelty; 'tis written from Bonony  
Fabricio once a Merchant in this City  
Is entered into orders, and received  
Amongst the Capuchins a fellow, news  
Which ought not any way to be unpleasant,  
Certain I can assure it.  Iul. 
He at last has  
Bestowed himself upon a glorious service.  Rom. 
Most happy man, I now forgive the injuries  
Thy former life exposed thee to.  Liv. 
Turn Capuchin,  
He, whiles I stand a cipher and fill up  
Only an useless sum to be laid out  
In an unthrifty lewdness, that must buy  
Both name and riot; Oh my fickle destiny!  Rom. 
Sister, you cannot taste this course but bravely,  
But thankfully.  Fla. 
he's now dead to the world  
And lives to heaven, a saint's reward him;  
My only loved Lord, all your fears are henceforth  
Confined unto a sweet and happy penance.  Enter Troylo, Castamela, Clarella, Floria, Silvia, and Morosa. Oct. 
Behold, I keep my word, these are the jewels  
Deserve a treasury; I can be prodigal  
Amongst my friends; examine well their lustre  
does it not sparkle? wherefore dwells your silence  
In such amazement?  Liv. 
Patience keep within me,  
Leap not yet rudely into scorn of anger.  Fla. 
Beauty's incomparable.  Oct. 
Romanello,  
I have been only Steward to your pleasures;  
You loved this Lady once, what say you now to her?  Cast. 
I must not court you Sir.  Rom. 
By no means fair one,  
Enjoy your life of greatness; sure the spring  
Is past, the BOWERS OF FANCIES is quite withered  
And offered like a lottery to be drawn;  
I dare not venture for a blank, excuse me,—  
Exquisite jewels.  Liv. 
Hark ye Troylo.  Troy. 
Spare me.  Oct. 
You then renounce all right in Castamela,  
Say Romanello.  Rom. 
Gladly.  Troy. 
Then I must not;  
Thus I embrace mine own, my wife; confirm it.  
Thus when I fail (my dearest) to deserve thee  
Comforts and life shall fail me.  Cast. 
Like vow I, for my part.  Troy. 
Livio, now my Brother, justly  
I have given satisfaction.  Cast. 
Oh excuse  
Our secrecy, I have been—  Liv. 
Much more worthy  
A better Brother, he a better Friend  
Than my dull brains could fashion.  Rom. 
Am I cozened.  Oct. 
You are not Romanello; we examined  
On what conditions your affections fixed,  
And found them merely Courtship; but my Nephew  
Loved with a faith resolved, and used his policy  
To draw the Lady into this society,  
More freely to discover his sincerity  
Even without Livio's knowledge, thus succeeded  
And prospered, he's my heir and she deserved him.  Iul. 
Storm not at what is passed.  Fla. 
A fate as happy  
May crown you with a full content.  Oct. 
whatever  
Report hath talked of me abroad, and these  
Know they are all my nieces, are the daughters  
To my dead only Sister, this their Guardianess  
Since they first saw the World; indeed my Mistresses  
They are, I have none other; how brought up  
Their qualities may speak; now Romanello,  
And Gentlemen, for such I know ye all,  
Portions they shall not want both sit and worthy;  
Nor will I look on fortune, if you like  
Court them and win them, here is free access,  
In mine own Court henceforth; only for thee  Livio 
I wish Clarella were allotted.  Liv. 
Most noble Lord, I am struck silent.  Fla. 
Brother, here's noble choice.  Rom. 
Frenzy, how didst thou seize me!  Cla. 
We knew you Sir, in Prugniolo's posture.  Flo. 
Were merry at the sight.  Sil 
And gave you welcome.  Mor. 
Indeed forsooth, and so we did an't like ye.  Oct. 
Enough, enough; now to shut up the night,  
Some menial servants of mine own are ready  
For to present a merriment; they intend  
 to th'occasion of the meeting,  
In several shapes to show how love o'ersways  
All men of several conditions; Soldier,  
Gentry, fool, scholar, Merchant man, and Clown:  
A harmless recreation; take your places.—  Dance. 
Your duties are performed henceforth, Spadone,  
Cast off thy borrowed title: Nephew Troylo,  
His Mother gave thee suck; esteem him honestly.  
Lights for the Lodgings, 'tis high time for rest;  
Great men may be mistook when they mean best.  
FINIS.   

epilogue.  MOR. 
A while suspected (Gentlemen) I look  
For no new Law, being quitted by the Book.  CLA. 
Our harmless pleasures, free in every sort  
Actions of scandal; may they free report.  CAST. 
Distrust is base, presumption urgeth wrongs;  
But noble thoughts must prompt as noble tongues.  FLA. 
Fancy and judgement are a play's full matter:  
If we have erred in one, right you the latter.