RUBBE, AND A great Cast EPIGRAMS.  
BY Thomas Freeman, Gent.  HORACE, 
Lectorem delectando pariterque monendo.  
Imprinted at London, and are to be sold at the Tigers Head. 1614   

TO THE THRICE HONOURABLE, RIGHT NOBLE, AND TRVELY Virtuous, his (ever to be observed) singular good Lord: THOMAS Lord WINDSOR.  
RIGHT HONOURABLE.  
IT was much against my mind, to entitle your worthy Lordship to these worthless toys, or make such a slight and Artless fabric carry so fair and glorious a frontispiece, as your Honourable name prefixed; yet finding it (as it is) in these days a matter so frequent with the worst Poets (as they have most need) to seek out the best Patrons: collecting from their presumption a fearful boldness I have out of a reverent zeal, and observance, presented to your Honour these my poor and naked labours: Poor, as being unpolished, and naked as they came from their mother Truth: Yet for that, (and only but for that) beseeming a better Writer. Vouchsafe them I beseech you, your Honours wont benign and gracious aspect, and read them with your accustomed candour; but for your deepe-searching judgement, pardon me my Lord, I disclaim from that, and appeal to your partial, and more pleasing favour. The most part of them have already past your Lordship's private liking: they All jointly crave your public protection. It is no diminution to Honour, nor disparagement to Greatness, to Countenance the meanest wellmeaning Author: You have it, Cum tantis commune viris; Scipio gracing rude Ennius, and the mightiest of earth's monarchs, unskilful Chaerilus. Nor is it derogatory to judgement, to accept an oblation of Poems of slight subject; as Augustus of Virgil's Gnatt: nor of bad composure; as that of the forenamed Chaerilus to Alexander: And I shall surely bear a part of reproof, in this ages general Apostasy to Poesy, the rather for trading (as the world interprets it) in the coarsest and commonest of it. So hardly hears the Epigram from all, the very name sticks to him like an Inustum stigma. But how the Comonest? in itself; why, there, being good (as it is no less) it should be Melius quo communius. Is it in the Professor? yea there is the misery, it is gone, ab Equis ad Asinos, Notum Lippis & Tonsoribus, & Played the Pythagorean pitifully, enduring most brutish transmigration, and traveled in as dirty wits as the way between Hogsdon and Hounsditch, Turpe & miserabile: Yet that this should impeach the ingenuous is mere injustice. But indeed the true cause for which the Epigram suffers, is his liberty and sincere honesty in the search and unmasking vice, hence comes it men mark him with Fenum in cornu, and fire off; or take the wind of him, as of one infected, Hence the world fears and consequently hates it: I could go on in just indignation, but time is precious with your Lordship, and this is an Epistle, and not a Treatise. I therefore return to your honour; craving, once more, acceptance and Protection, to these (howsoever they sound, for so being) course-spun Epigrams. Howsoever my pen fail, my prayers shall not, but ever solicit the celestial TRIUNITY, to bless your Honour, and send you here all, and the compleatst joys on earth, forerunners of your future true happiness in heaven.  
Your honours most obsequiously devoted servant. THOMAS FREEMAN.   

Regalia Vota, Precesque  

Ad Regem jacobum.  
NOt like your Player, who profanes his lips  
With scurrile jests of some lewd ribald Play;  
And after all, upon the Scaffold skips,  
And for his Sovereign then begins to pray:  
More mannerly, whilst pure, this Pen of mine  
Presents her prayers (great King) for thee & thine▪   

Proreligiosiss. ●ruditiss. Augustiss. Rege.  
WHat should I wish to that my Sovereign hath  
But long Continuance, both of Him, and it?  
Long to live the Defender of true Faith,  
Our JOSVA Long o'er Israel to sit,  
Long t'entertain the Saints of God like LOT;  
To be our DAVID Long, our SOLOMON;  
Still keeping without blemish, without blot:  
The Father's Zeal, the Wisdom of the Son.  
To these (O God) what should we pray thee give?  
But (as I said) Continuance and long date,  
To live the days METHUSALEM did live,  
And after, when he falls'ith hand of Fate:  
O yet vouchsafe in mercy some delays,  
To Add to our good EZECHIAS days!  
Maneant ●afata nepote●.   

Pro Illustrissima & Serenissima Regina.  
Evrops' Glory, England's greatest Good,  
O! mayst thou flourish like the fruitful Vine,  
And make Great Britain rich in Royal blood;  
The life of all our hopes lives in thy Line:  
Live ever blessed, and be more a Mother,  
And from thee may that offspring issue forth,  
That may secure their Kingdoms, conquer other,  
Make all the world to wonder at their worth:  
Nay, win it all, and part it too (Heavens smile)  
As Brutus' sons did once divide this Isle.  
Maneant ●afata nepotes.   

Pro CAROLO Maximae, magnae Britannuiae, spei, Principe.  
Our SECOND, late; now FIRST-best, future HOPE,  
Whose, in remainder, we; and thou art, ours;  
What should we wish thee, but that Heaven wide open?  
Rain down her Blessings in abundant showers,  
To make thy Parents happy; thyself blessed,  
And we, in them, and through them, t'have in thee  
The greatest Good that ever men possessed:  
Which with the Goodness may as lasting be.  
Long stand our Atlas; and when he shall fall,  
Be thou our Hercules, hold up our Heaven,  
Our happiness, I mean, and help us all:  
Sat at the Helm, and keep our Ship up e'en;  
Then take, and Long, O long keep at the stern!  
Mean time now grow in Goodness, Greatness, State,  
All which thou needst not travel far to learn,  
Nor needest but thine own to imitate:  
Thy wise and zealous Sire, thy virtuous Mother,  
And, O that Great heart! now heaven crowned thy brother.  
Maneant ●afata nepotes.   

Pro fulgentisima ELIZABETHA.  
GReater thyself, 
Author v●vebat ista ante auspicatisses▪ nuptias.  by greatest Princes sought,  
On whom best Stars have smiled their influence,  
Where heaven a Map of Miracles hath wrought,  
Our glory, Nature's pride, Earth's excellence:  
In whom alone the Graces live refined,  
Where Chastity with more than Cyprian-feature,  
And Beauty with all virtue lives conjoined:  
O Goddess sure! or some Celestial Creature!  
In whose whose fair face so equally do run  
The purest Lillie-white, the Orientst red,  
Like Vialactea, and the Rising Sun.  
Happy that Prince shall the fair Princess wed,  
Which holy Hymen shall no snoner finish,  
But we shall pray. That thou the blessedst Bride  
May'st with such blessed ones the World replenish,  
That may hereafter help the world to guide.  
And that our Royal blood more deep root take,  
As they from thee, so may from them spring other:  
May thy great Father, great Grandfather wake,  
And reckon their descent from thy blessed Mother:  
And England's King, and Queen, may live to see,  
Their children's Children, Kings and Queens to be.  
Maneant ●afata nepotes.   

Ad excellentissimum Principem Palatinum: Illius in Lectissimae Elizabethae (iam sibi coni●gatae) electione, judicium, approbat, admiratur.  
IF as in this thrice Royal Fredaricke,  
Thy judgement in electing still be like;  
What need the other Six or stand on seven?  
Why not the whole to whom the Chief is given? 
Quia principalis Elector.   
Indeed, what needed any other Voice?  
The World might put his life upon thy Choice.   

Pro Nobilitate Britannica.  
Grave, for your Council, great, for place and Blood,  
O you Arch-Columnes of our Commonwealth!  
You truly wise, religious, Noble, good.  
Who doth not wish all happiness, all health,  
With Nestor's years, your Honours to attend,  
Is not the Kings, is not his country's friend.   

Pro Domino suo Honoratissimo Domino Windesor.  
ANd now, more properly to pay his vows,  
He comes to you (his noble Lord & Master;)  
Whose life, for you, is but a debt he owes,  
Whose prayers, could they keep off all disaster,  
And make you blest; there should breath in our state,  
No Lord more happy, less infortunate.   

Liber ad Lectorem de Authorosuo.  
EXeo: sed quidsi, quamvis Liber exeoparvus,  
Parvus in hac magna plurimus urbe ferar.  
Paul, meum Titulum tua janua quaque tenebit,  
Haerebit multis pagina prima locis.  
Lector & exurgens leget, atque inquiret eund●  
E●quis habet talem Ribliopola librum:  
Inventique petens pretium, persolvit, abitque,  
Et modo mercato: perlegit usque jocos.  
Quisquis, & O quisquis, ●●pidissimus (inquit) et autor  
Post mult●s multis anteferende venis:  
Laudibus ad Coelum vehimur, Dominusque, Liberque,  
Sedulus hunc laudae, Me sine fine legit.  
Ne cu● fit mirum? Cui nonplacuere lepores?  
Rarus amat Lector seria, quisque jocos.   

Quare Rub & Run;  
SPhaera mihi; Calamus, Mundi sunt crimina, Nodi,  
Ipse sed est mundus, Sphaeromachia mihi.  
Sive manere jubes, ●ector, seu currere sphaera●t.  
Lusori pariter, curre●●●eque ●●●eque placent.    

Rub and a great Cast  

Epigram I.  
Lectori quomodo legate.  
REader remember that I do forewarn thee,  
Pry not into the secrets of my Pen.  
See not; if thou seest aught, that seems to harm thee,  
Wrong not thyself; if I do, blame me then:  
Look on, laugh on, and if I touch thy grief,  
Or tell the fault wherein thou hast been filthy,  
Let not thy knowledge cause thy misbelief,  
I name thee not, what needest thou then cry Guilty?  
The Choleric descry their own offence,  
When like a gald-backt jade scarce touched they wince.   

EPIGRAM. 2.  
Me quoque vatem.  
WHy am I not an Epigrammatist?  
I write in covert, and conceal their names,  
Whose lives I burden with some bitter jest,  
Themselves I cloak, and yet un-clowd their shames.  
Again, me thinks I am not shallow sprighted,  
Nor seems my wit so insufficient  
(Although not like to others deepe-conceited)  
It can indite, although not excellent.  
The Reader laughs, this reason he rehearses,  
The Ape likes her own whelps, and I my verses.   

EPIGRAM. 3.  
I●, Rich●rdum primum, Regem.  
GR●●ter then great Alcides thee did grace,  
The lions Heart, and not the lions Case.  
Richard●s cord, Hercules exuvijs Leonis gestiens.   

EPIGRAM. 4.  
O Tempora! O Mores!  
HAd I an hundred mouths, 
Mihisi ●●●guae c●ntum, o●aque c●ntum, ferrca vox esset. Virg.  as many tongues,  
An Iron voice; then should this Iron Age  
Be moved, or I would thunder out their wrongs.  
And breath out boisterous accents full of rage.  
I would inveigh against fowl Usurers,  
As those that live by causing others wants;  
I would defy the filthy Flatterers,  
That show themselves dissembling Sycophants.  
The Lawyer too my lavish tongue should lash,  
And Avarice should not avoid the scourge,  
And with the Courtier would I have a crash:  
And most of all the Atheist would I urge.  
Yea every one (as every one is faulty)  
Should bide the brunt of my all-biting tongue,  
It should be no excuse t'alledge their frailty,  
Sufficed, they s●i'd, and I must tell the wrong.  
Yet well I wot, when words had done their worst  
Lewd men (like Foxes) fare best when theyare cursed.   

EPIGRAM. 5.  
In Bacchum.  
OF all the old Gods Bacchus is the best,  
And hath more fellowship than all the rest:  
They have their habitations on high,  
He loves not foaring so ambitiously;  
For lofty dwelling he cares not a louse,  
He likes the lowest part in all the house;  
Each Cellar is his amphitheatre,  
And is content to be compound with water,  
And lives as erst Diogenes hath done,  
Th'one in a Tub, the other in a Tun.   

EPIGRAM. 6.  
In Superbum.  
SVperbus sold a gallant Manor place,  
Himself with a new-fashioned suit to grace.  
Meant he himself an Elephant to make,  
In carrying such a Castle on his back.   

EPIGRAM. 7.  
In Castorem.  
CAstor complains he's mightily misused,  
That he a Man, should beastlike be cornuted:  
Content thee Castor, thou art not abused,  
e'en jove himself was such a one reputed.  
He horned, the better to beguile his love;  
Thou horned, the more thy love be guileth thee:  
Europa's carriage caused horns in jove,  
And thy wives carriage causeth thine to be;  
Only in this thou hast him over-gone,  
In that thy wife bore many, he but one.   

EPIGRAM 8.  
In Mustapham.  
MVstapha still amongst his company  
Swears Wounds and blood how he will be revenged  
On such a one for his late villainy,  
Whom then, but for entreaty, he had swinged.  
I heard him once tell such a tale as this,  
Whereas by chance the party came in place;  
Lo, whom he vowed to kill, he bowed to kiss,  
Him with much curtsy crouching to embrace▪  
Happy the man that had so mild a foe,  
Who absent, killed him; present, kissed him so.   

EPIGRAM. 9  
Nec retinent patulae, etc. In Garruhtatem.  
NAy, to keep counsel, this our Age excels,  
To Lagus one a thing in secret told,  
This to his friend in secret Lagus tells,  
The which his friend to tell, his friend is bold,  
In secret too; that friend unto another,  
Who makes a Midwife of the next he meets  
To tell his secret to; each makes a brother  
Lightly on whomsoever next he hits.  
Thus all abroad this secrecy is blown,  
And yet in secret told to every one.   

EPIGRAM 10.  
In Fimum.  
FImus is Coached, and for his further grace  
Doth ask his friends how he becomes the place.  
Troth I should tell him the poor Coach hath wrong,  
And that a Cart would serve to carry dung.   

EPIGRAM. 11.  
In Goslingum Puritanum Praedicatorem.  
GOsling the Puritan held so excellent,  
Never quoteth Father, never speaks Latin sentence,  
Indeed the Scriptur's all-sufficient,  
As he being ask told one of his acquaintance,  
But we who know him, know the cause was rather  
He never learned Latin, never read a Father.   

EPIGRAM. 12.  
In Photinum.  
I Met Photinus at the chancellors Court,  
Cited (as he said) by a knave Relator:  
I asked him wherefore, he in laughing sort,  
Told me it was but for a Childish matter,  
How ere he laughed it out, he lied not,  
Indeed 'twas Childish, for the Child he got.   

EPIGRAM. 13.  
Quo ruis ah demens?  
London's progress.  
WHy how now Babel, whither wilt thou build?  
I see old Holborn, Charing-cross, the Sirand,  
Are going to St. Giles his in the field;  
Saint Katernes she shakes Wapping by the hand:  
And Hoggosdon will to Highgate ere't be long.  
London is got a great way from the stream,  
I think she means to go to Islington,  
To eat a mess of strawberries and Cream.  
The city's sure in Progress I surmise,  
Or going to revel it in some disorder  
Without the Walls, without the Liberties,  
Where she need fear nor Mayor nor Recorder.  
Well, say she do; 'twere pretty, but 'twere pity  
A Middlesex Bailiff should arrest the City.   

EPIGRAM. 14.  
In Rufum.  
PRiscus to Rufus for some filthy usage  
Did send a challenge by a peevish boy,  
The boy he beat that brought so bold a message  
But No point field would Rufus par mafoy:  
So have I seen a dog oft bite the stone,  
And not the man, by whom he sees it thrown   

EPIGRAM. 15.  
In Crantorem.  
CRantor the Citizen long in despair,  
For twenty years his barren wife teemed not,  
And now that she hath brought him forth an Heir,  
He's frolic and a joyful man God wot.  
Alas poor fool how vainly he rejoices  
'Tis none of his if 't go by most of voices.   

EPIGRAM. 16.  
In Poetastrum & amicam suam putricem.  
MY little Litteratus hath a Squall,  
A limned one, whom he doth Mistress call:  
They eat, drink, talk, and laugh, and lie together,  
And lawful 'tis, and 'tis allowed to either.  
The reason is (who so desires to know it)  
His Mistress is a painter, he a Poet.  
Pictoribus atque poetis quidlibet, etc.   

EPIGRAM. 17.  
In Hersilium.  
HErsilius the Barber-Surgeon  
Hates Lucy cause she barbeth many one  
And them so artificially doth trim  
That they need nevermore be shaved by him:  
This is the cause Hersilius doth hate her  
But would the foolish man well weigh the matter  
How 'tis his profit that she plays the Barber  
His heart 'gainst her would no such hatred harbour:  
What though she makes him lose a lousy science,  
She fits his Surgery with fatter Clients.   

EPIGRAM. 16.  
Of Tobacco ashes.  
TObacco for a Phoenix Will doth prise  
Such virtues from the ashes of it rise:  
His instance; He his whore and horse doth make  
It scoured her teeth, it skinned his skabby back.   

EPIGRAM 19  
In Leonatum.  
THe filthiest, the fowlst-deformed lass  
That is, will be, I think or ever was  
Leonatus loves, wherewith should she him draw,  
Except as she's like jet, he be like straw.   

EPIGRAM. 20.  
In Cosmum.  
Ask Cosmus why he is a Gentleman,  
He tells what services his sire hath seen,  
As when victorious Henry Bolleine wan,  
And when King Philip took S. Quintius in:  
His Uncle was at th'rising in the North,  
And did at Tilbery good reckoning carry;  
Ask of himself he can bring nothing forth,  
But thinks their deeds, are his, hereditary?  
And say he be a Gentleman therefore  
Because he bears their Image and their name  
He is but like the Ass that Isis bore;  
They honour got he under-goes their fame,  
And bearing thus what others brought to pass,  
he's but his Fathers and his uncles Ass.   

EPIGRAM. 21.  
Sic transit Gloria.  
PRide, and the Court; you make us too unthrifty;  
Buy coach and horse: but what's the end of all,  
What cost an hundred, sell again for fifty,  
And then my Gallants from their Chariot's fall:  
Foretimes but fabled of one Phaeton  
You make ours testify of many one.   

EPIGRAM. 22.  
In Hylam puerum immaturè mortum.  
Hylas' a child, and dead, how should it come?  
Surely his thread of life was but a thrum.   

EPIGRAM. 23.  
In Castriotem.  
SEe, see, what love is now betwixt each fist;  
Since Castriotes had a skabby wrist,  
How kindly they lie clawing one another  
As if the left hand were the right hands brother.   

EPIGRAM. 24.  
In Marthum.  
HOw oft have I heard Martha make her boast  
How she her husband used before she had him,  
How palpably his patience she crossed,  
In plainer terms too what a Calf she made him,  
What since I hear not, but 'tis shrewdly guest  
The Calf is since become a horned beast.   

EPIGRAM. 25.  
In Selinum.  
THey say Selinus writes exceeding well,  
Till he of Bacchus' grape too deeply taste,  
For then is his Minerva quite displaced,  
How contrary to that which Poets tell,  
Of Ioues strange breeding, stranger nursing vain,  
Selinus wit is breeched when wine's in's brain.   

EPIGRAM. 26.  
In duos ebrios.  
FAber and Frankus I you both commend,  
For both you will be drunken with a friend:  
'Twas Theseus and Pirithous amity,  
So went they both to hell for company.   

EPIGRAM. 27.  
Ad quosdam florentes quondam, iam miseros & conquerentes commilitones suos.  
WHy show you me, my (whilom happy) mates  
The overgrown infirmities that grieve you,  
woe' me to see your somuch altered States:  
I can lament, but I can not relieve you.  
Think'st thou What I can cure the cureless gout?  
Can james Scyatticke hips hope help of me?  
Dicks dropsy-ale-puft flesh stands swelling out,  
I can recover none of all you three:  
And Rafe, the pox may eat into thy bones,  
And thou remain remediless for me:  
Nor leprous lack be freed from scabs: at once  
I can help none of you in no degree:  
For first I'm no Physician at all,  
And Poor, I cannot build an Hospital.   

EPIGRAM. 28.  
Videntur & non sunt.  
SOme men go brave and some again go bare  
When neither of them seem the men they are,  
I know rich lads go patched in leather pelts,  
And hood their heads under some greasy felts:  
Again I know some silk lads, coinelesse ever,  
Bear high their heads in some fresh coloured Beaver,  
And siluer-shooe-strings o'er their toes do wear  
Such shoestrings as a man may safely swear  
Are better than their purse-strings, ten to one,  
For they can show some silver, these can none.   

EPIGRAM. 29.  
Velle paupertatis suae.  
'tIs strange, now I am poor what I would do,  
What Hospitals what Almse-houses upreare;  
Build Vpton-bridge in Worc'ster-shire anew;  
Give topless Paul's one more sky-threatning Spire;  
Bring Thames to Oxford, Wye into North-wales,  
Trent to Northampton, Seavern into Trent,  
Auon to Seavern; All to carry Sails  
Quite from the sea into the Continent:  
Help Widows, Orphans, Maimed, and the Poor,  
With Wadam build a College for the godly;  
Erect (so far surpassing all before)  
A Library with all praiseworthy Bodily:  
Make a huge chain from Dover reach to Calais  
For to secure all passengers for France,  
Free Bondslaves, ransom Captives from the Galleys,  
All honest Sea-wrecked Merchants readvance.  
Nay more, what Learned Bacon left undone,  
Engirt Great Britain with a Brazen Wall:  
On thousand good deeds now my mind doth run  
Now I can nothing, now I would do all  
I can so little and would do so much,  
Sure I am too well given, to grow rich.   

EPIGRAM. 30.  
Arcades amb●.  
I Ack and Dick both with one woman dealt,  
So long till she the Pains of women felt:  
Now Dick, he thinks to put a trick on jack,  
And jack again to hang it on Dicks back:  
Which got the child, it makesed a doubtful case,  
It hath so like (they say) jacks nose, 
Hic usurpatur pro Dick, inquibusdam paatibus Angliae.  Dicks face:  
But by both marks, my judgement should be quick  
Et vitula tu dignus, jack & h●e.   

EPIGRAM. 31.  
In Richardum.  
AT three go downs Dick doffs me off a pot,  
The English Gutter's Latin for his throat.   

EPIGRAM. 32.  
In Marcellum.  
MArcellus if you mark how he doth go  
Is nothing else but imitation,  
By his apparel you can hardly know  
What Countryman he is, or of what Nation,  
For note you him; he wears a Spanish felt,  
A French-crawed Doublet, and a Dutch deep Slop:  
A Turkey Blade, a Crosse-bared Irish Hilt,  
Hangers guilt-wrought with Indian pearl a top,  
And girdle too, wherein (ware the stabbado)  
His Poniard in a swaggering scarf is got:  
His stocking silk of Naples or Granado,  
His Garter tied with a Swissers knot,  
Beside a long French lock, a Saracens head,  
A big Gades Beard, a grim Swartruttres look:  
By these what Countryman, who can aread?  
Nay of what Country may he not be took?  
Sure if a man a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 be, 
Microcosmic.   
Marc●llus seems that little world to me.   

EPIGRAM. 33.  
In A●mam.  
NAn trades, yet will she not be called whore,  
Nor Pet nor Punk, but call her Courtesan:  
She takes it kindly and conceives no more,  
But 'tis as much to say as courteous Anne.  
A thing in these our days to wonder at,  
A Catholic not know t'quiuocat.   

EPIGRAM. 34.  
Quot bipedes aurum.  
WHat ordinary Gallant now but goes  
On Spani●● leather haltered with a Rose,  
Circling with gold, or siluer-spangled lace:  
'Tis strange how times have altered the case.  
Less cost, then's now bestowed on either foot,  
Did buy K. William Bufus a whole suit.   

EPIGRAM. 35.  
In Christophorum.  
KIts conscience shall ne'er bring him introuble  
'Tis like an Os●er any way 'twill double:  
And for the oath, no touching of him there,  
You shall have him, what you will have him, swears  
Nor for Religion; for to tell you true,  
he's neither of the Old nor of the New.   

EPIGRAM. 36.  
In Luscum morionem.  
LVscus, that Minotaur thy monstrous wit,  
Lies in that lousy Labyrinth thy head,  
So close as no Art can discover it,  
Now whilst thouart living, nor when thou art dead.  
A longer thread than Ariadne's twine,  
Shall never find wit in that same pate of thine.   

EPIGRAM. 37.  
In Metellum.  
MEtellus vowed a voyage into France,  
To learn the language, and be Frenchifide,  
But he found out a nearer way by chance:  
For in a vaulting house as he did ride,  
Of his pretence in part he was possessed.  
For there his Genius did so well apply him,  
That she with whom his conference did consist.  
e'en as she spit, her breath did Franchifie, him.  
Surely I can but wonder how the wench,  
That never knew to speak, should spit out French.   

EPIGRAM. 38.  
In Stilponem.  
COward Stilpo, often dared to fight,  
Still puts it off with pretty odd excuses,  
He fears not any living by this light,  
But he shows reason wherefore he refuses:  
The little man too much his undermatch,  
T'imbrue his sword, his blood is too too base.  
The Eagle scorns the silly Fly to catch:  
The mouse's death's the Elephant's disgrace:  
One like himself of equal strength and making,  
O 'twere a prey fit for his lions paw,  
But should he kill him, he were in wise taking,  
He fears not him; marry he fears the law:  
Nor will he answer every idle jack.  
Stilpo is rich, and he hath much to lose,  
Th'other perhaps in penury and lack,  
Grows desperate, and cares not how it goes.  
Thus Law or Fortune, or too niggard Nature,  
Begets excuses for his cowardice.  
The strong, the poor, the man of little stature,  
He dares with all, daring with none (more wise.)  
Surely by this I see, and seek no further,  
Stilpo keeps one Commandment, Do●● 〈…〉   

EPIGRAM. 39  
In Demetrium.  
Stark drunk, Demetrius word is: he'll stand too●,  
When he hath neither use of hand nor foot,  
But iostles this, and shoulders up that wall,  
And stands to nothing, yet he'll stand to all.   

EPIGRAM 40.  
In Swad.  
SWadde's in Commission, yet but bears the name,  
For all the roast is ruled by his dame,  
Sh'examines, bails, binds over, and releases,  
Remits and Mittimusseth whom she pleases,  
To all that come to him for wrongs redress,  
His wife's the justice, he but of the peace.   

EPIGRAM. 41.  
In Spurium.  
I Wonder on't, Apelles when he painted  
The rare perfections of the Graecian Dame,  
Himself with sight of many fair acquainted,  
And stole some grace from every one that came.  
And Spurius, is it possible thy mother,  
Helped with the workwanship of many one,  
Who had, besides the sight of sundry other,  
Should bring forth thee such an ill-shaped son?  
But her confusion did as much portend,  
'Twould prove some lumpish Chaos in the end.   

EPIGRAM. 42  
In e●ndem.  
THat thou art monstrous most of any other,  
The reason to proceed here hence I gather,  
That having such a strumpet to thy mother,  
The monster Multitude became thy Father.   

EPIGRAM. 45.  
To all good subjects.  
YOu rich, your royal, loyal hearts reveal,  
Not grudging when your gracious Sovereign sends,  
Nor at a Nonplus for a Frivy seal,  
But when your Prince (like Cyrus) tries his friends,  
Make you your Prince, with Cyrus to approve,  
A King's Exchequer is his subjects love.   

EPIGRAM. 44.  
In Caspiam.  
CAspia the decrepit old rich Croot,  
Whose face (th'antiquity of time bewraying)  
Is riveled like a ruffled summer Boot;  
She that's in all things, but in wealth, decaying:  
Caspia, that same fowl deformed Fubs,  
Who never needs fear coughing out her teeth,  
(For she hath none, but a few Holly-stubs)  
She that should think of nothing now but death;  
Maugre th'imperfections of her Age,  
She will with Tubrio the young gallant wed,  
And link herself to him in marriage.  
What shall we say next day when she is dead?  
That this old fool did that young fellow take,  
Him not her Husband, but her Heir to make.   

EPIGRAM 45.  
Bis duo notani quae non possunt revocari,  
Virginitas, Tempus, Verbum dictumque, Voluptas.  
SCaurus his life voluptuously hath led; 
Voluptas. Verbum. Virginitas. Tempus.   
Ruffinus tongue hath walked immodestly;  
Lusilla she hath lost her maiden, head;  
And Thuscus spent his time in vanity:  
But now the Black Ox treadeth on their feet,  
They find their faults, and begin to fear their fate,  
And like the Troyans' they have after-wit,  
And would be wise when now it is too late:  
For who can call back Words already spoken,  
Lost time, past Pleasure, Virgin-bands once broken?   

EPIGRAM. 46.  
In Dol pregnantem.  
DOl learning Propriaquae maribas without-book,  
Like Nomen crescentis genetivo doth look.   

EPIGRAM. 47.  
In Oxoniam.  jile terrarum mihi preter omnes Angulus ridet. Horat. Od. 
Englands' fair Athens, Youths thrice happy Nurse,  
Nature's resiner, Learning's Consistory,  
Refuge whereto the Muses have recourse,  
And where to be the Graces chiefly glory:  
Pardon thy Pupils high-presuming pen,  
That dares thy praise ambitiously adventure,  
" Each little stream repaies the Ocean  
His borrowed waves, and doth the seare-enter:  
Myself with like gratuity incensed,  
Return to thee (from whom it first sprang forth)  
That little wit, that heretofore thou lentest,  
To legend out thy true deserved worth.  
But out alas, what relish hath my rhyming,  
It can but be a blemish to the breeder,  
And I shall be controlled for high climbing,  
Me thinks I hear already from the Reader;  
Who tells me, in my talking thus so boldly,  
" Better be silent, then commend so coldly.   

EPIGRAM 48  
Adeandem. Desiderium in discessu.  
AT natale solum placet omnibus: optat Ulysses,  
Fumantes Ithacae posse videre domos:  
Cuique, placet Natale solum; mihi di'plicet 〈◊〉;  
Horreoque, in Patria solus ego esse mea;  
Ipsamque invitus repeto: sic perfidus olim  
Dicitur ad patrios, Hannibal isse lares.  
Cur fugimus patriam, si causam quaritis; ●d●m;  
Illum amor Italiae, me tenot Oxoniae.  

Anglice.  
EAch man his Country loves: Ulysses wish  
Was to see Ithacks smoke (smoke little worth)  
Each cares for Country; I care not a rush,  
I loathe to live where I was first brought forth.  
Now go I home, as Hannibal once went,  
To native Africa, sad and discontent.  
We hate our Countries: would you neds know why?  
My love is Oxford; His, was Italy.    

EPIGRAM 49.  
In Salium.  
WHen Salius takes the pen in hand, he brags;  
he'll rouse his wit to raise the p●ise of rags; 
Quia ex lacer pannu sit pap●…   
And writes such verses as stand men in steead,  
For Priny bisnesse rather than to read.  
Now pray you when the paper lies besh—  
How are rags raised by his rousing wit?   

EPIGRAM. 50.  
In Flavium.  
WHen Flavius once would needs praise Tin,  
His brain could bring no reasons in,  
But what his belly did bethink,  
Platters for meat, and Pots for drink.   

EPIGRAM. 51.  
In Virtutem.  
Virtue we praise, but practise not her good,  
(Athenian-like) we act not what we know;  
So many men do talk of Robin Hood,  
Who never yet shot arrow in his bow.   

EPIGRAM. 52.  
In Ebrios.  
WHy Drunkards should be so improvident,  
And yet so often drink a Deity: 
●. Bacchum.   
To prove the cause I know no Argument,  
But that they surfeit in satiety.  
honey, how wholesome, and how full of pleasure, 
●tiam mel fi ninium ingra●ū.   
And yet how hurtful taken out of measure!   

EPIGRAM 53.  
In Crispinus.  
CRispinus gives, where gifts he looks for greater,  
This kindness shows him but a kind of Cheater.   

EPIGRAM. 54.  
In Patum.  
PAEtus dying, cozened Atropos,  
She should not cut his vital thread in two,  
His Shoreditch Saint a fairer fate bestows,  
She did as much as destiny could do;  
Yet not by cutting (for she used no knife)  
But by the burning of the thread of life.   

EPIGRAM. 55.  
In duos letigiosoes.  
FIcus hath three-farthings-worth of wrong  
Done to him by his neighbour Clunnico,  
For which he vows to be revenged ere long;  
That to make good, to law he means to go:  
And Clunnico, as stubborn, will not shrink  
What ere it cost: by this the Lawyer's feed,  
Who nimbly purses their dis-powched chink,  
And hearts them both, that they be not agreed:  
They (like two dogs) lie fight for the bone,  
The which a third, the Lawyer, feeds upon.   

EPIGRAM. 56.  
In Embrionem.  
TRow ye who lately to the wars is gone?  
The neither wise nor warlike embryon:  
There if perhaps he happily achieve  
What we have now no reason to believe;  
And that his valours unexpected proof,  
Be to his Countries and his own behoof.  
Thus in my times his name I will enroll,  
Lo here the Goose that saved the Capitol.   

EPIGRAM 57  
LOndon is like to have no more strong Beer, 
Aquae duclu● per Magistru● Middletonun omnium, (qui unquam fuerunt) civitati utilissimus.   
All long of my Lord Mayor as we hear:  
His brother rather may the cause be thought,  
That so much water to the Town hath brought.   

EPIGRAM 58.  
Proh dolour.  
THe 17 Provinces are all at peace:  
Alas good Soldiers, it boots not now,  
The military Science to profess,  
You must come home, and live the Lord knows how:  
Like to have small relief, but too much Law,  
And hanged, if but for taking of a straw.   

EPIGRAM. 59  
In Mathonem.  
THough great men's houses make it known,  
How Buckes-hornes stand the hall in steed,  
To hang up Hats and Caps upon;  
Yet every where there's no such need:  
For what needs it in Matho hall?  
His head, his horns, may serve for all.   

EPIGRAM. 60.  
Dum Spiritus hos regit artus.  
OF all the letters in the Criscrosse row,  
I love the W. why? if you'll know;  
It doth begin two names, I would be loath  
For too much boot change either of them both:  
The first I serve, love, honour, and attend,  
The other is my Kinsman, and my Frend.   

EPIGRAM. 61.  
In Clit●m.  
THat Clitus is become so melancholy,  
Nor loss of goods, nor death of friends doth cause it,  
But his Pr●●pus, fired by his folly,  
He is in fear he shall be forced to lose it:  
He heard such news from the Physician,  
It must be saved by Circumcision.   

EPIGRAM. 62  
Consanguinio suo Febricitanti.  
TWo contraries (Philosophy says) never,  
At one time can in one selfe-subiect be,  
Yet note but the condition of the fever,  
And 'tis a false position we see;  
Which strangely doth conjoin mere opposites,  
And extreme cold t'exce●s●ue heat unites.  
Which (like two struggling twins within one womb)  
By striving, so our vital powers distort,  
As both our strength and senses quite benumb,  
Distaste our palates, make us All a● Mort,  
Our bodies of all faculties displace,  
And makes our brains to run the wild-goose chase.  
Cousin, to you these lines I need not write,  
Who have the practic, mine's but speculation,  
I do but tell; you, feel the Agues might  
Would you were less acquainted with her fashion.  
Yet to your comfort, I have heard it ever,  
" No Physic for the body to the fever:  
Which though it bring it to some little weakness,  
It purgeth choler, suageth swelling tumors,  
Cuts off the causes of ensuing sickness,  
Rarefies phlegm, and for all ill-bred humours,  
Phlebotomy, nor purging, no● the Bath,  
Have half the healthful power th'Ague hath:  
Besides that it the shomacke doth restore,  
Reforms digestion, concockts crudities,  
Repairs the faculties impaired before;  
Yet for all these, and more good properties,  
I think you could be well contented yet,  
And I could rather wish you rid of it.   

EPIGRAM. 63.  
Viae tibi. Eidem.  
Look to thyself, and learn to live at home,  
Have fellowship henceforth with few or none,  
See, see, to what a pass the world is come,  
Friendship abides not, be thy fortunes gone,  
Be thou like Winter that like Summer waste,  
The Swallows fly that flocked before so fast:  
Friends swim, like fishes, as the stream doth run,  
And like sly serpent's lurk in fairest green,  
They only reverence the rising Sun,  
Scarce looking towards him, when he doth decline;  
'Tis wealth preserves good will, that from thee taken,  
Thou that wast followed shalt be soon forsaken:  
Nay mark e'en now; the very Bird of love,  
Betakes herself unto the fairest building;  
And her own home abandoneth the Done, 
Fugi●nt ad can dida tecta Columb●e.   
If once she sees it ruinous and yielding,  
No marvel then, though faith fail in the trial,  
When loves true Turtle is turned thus disloyal.  
This vile Hart-gnawing Vultur-Age then fly,  
Feed not the Hounds whose teeth may after tear thee,  
Let not the serpent in thy bosom lie,  
Lest stinging, thou repent he lay so near thee:  
Be thine own neighbour; and be this thy doom,  
To look unto thyself, to live at HOME.   

EPIGRAM. 64.  
In iactabundum gentis suae●  
TEll me no more what trophies were erected,  
By those, from whom thy Gentry took deriving,  
Show me their virtues that made them respected,  
If they, as yet, be in their son surviving:  
'Tis not enough, ' tinherit any man,  
To reckon from corvinus thy descent,  
From Nasica, or Nobler African,  
If virtue be not in th'here ditament;  
Or say; 'tis credit to be come of them;  
'Tis more dishonour when thou shalt digress,  
And prove a bad stalk of so brave a stem,  
Disabling thy birth in thine unworthiness:  
I would Thersites had begot thee rather, 
Trans●tum ex lwenal:   
And thou prove like Patroclus worthy friend,  
Then that Achilles should have been thy father,  
And thou to prove Thirsites in the end:  
" No father's deeds can dignify the son,  
Nor can we call that ours, we have not done.  
Quae non fecimus ipsi  
Vixea nostravoco.   

EPIGRAM. 65.  
In Richardum.  
DIck will to wiving, and a whore will wed,  
Beware horns; a wager, whether will have more  
A Tanner's backside (Richard) or your head,  
Or Scot of Fleetstreet, though he have such store:  
Dick were your hornos as visible as they,  
I hold my life it were an even Lay.   

EPIGRAM. 66.  
In pestem, Oxonium a duobus Gallis allatum anno. 1609.  
OXford's infected, and the Frenchmen brought it,  
The Pox to bring the plague, who would have thought it,  
I should have said, nay more, I should have swore it,  
The Pox had been a Supersedeas for it.  
Good Town; for thee (for thee I ever loved)  
I wish the Proverb had not been disproved.   

EPIGRAM. 67.  
Epitaph. foeneratoris.  
WIth usury and common harms,  
Here he lies that purchased Arms;  
Earth press softly, worms forbear,  
'Tis a Gentleman lies here,  
He and all that so heap good,  
Needs they must be men of blood.   

EPIGRAM. 68  
In livorem.  
Envy did ask me for her Epigram,  
I flatly answered she should have none:  
But if that for her Epitaph she came  
I would have willingly bestowed one:  
Think'st thou I'll die (qd. she) I must survive,  
So long as any shall be left alive:  
Pascitur in vinis.   

EPIGRAM. 69.  
Candida simplicitas.  
A poor man at the Tavern was in place,  
Where his Attorney told his Client's case  
Unto another; Lawier-like the while,  
Naming but joha a Noxe, and john a St●e,  
And, quoth th'attorney, you must understand,  
This john a Noxe is owner of the Land:  
The poor man present, could not but reply,  
Not john a Noxe, an't please you sir, 'tis I.   

EPIGRAM. 70.  
A Freeman.  
A Kings-bench fits not such as I  
And Lud your Gate is built too hy,  
And yet my credit shall not Fleet  
'Tis better than two Counters yet:   

EPIGRAM. 71.  
Adorans substantiam et orans imaginem.  
I Love my Soveragine as good Subjects should,  
I'd have my Sovereign as rich Subjects would▪  
Himself; why no: but by a second course  
I would his picture always in my purse.   

EPIGRAM. 72.  
Dij votis aspirate meis.  
ALl prayers for jacobus are, but mine's,  
Both for jacobus and for jacobines.   

EPIGRAM. 73.  
In Cinnam.  
SO long as Cinna holds his peace, he's took,  
To be a Wiseman, only for his look,  
But he no sooner speaks, but men descry him,  
And find his countenance did ●oule belie him:  
Were Cinna dumb, he had a happy turn,  
Or if to hold his peace he could but learn;  
" Silence in most shows wit, in Fools alone  
It makes men think th'haue some when they have none.   

EPIGRAM. 74.  
In Critonem vociferante●  
Goodman (quoth a) knowing who I am,  
My wealth might teach thee use another name:  
Goodman, heart; I can hardly forbear thee,  
Sweet Master Crito pardon; now I hear thee,  
Why this at first had pleased me; well 'tis past,  
Remember next your words be better placed.  
Such is the strange condition of men  
A richman once, no more a Goodman then.   

EPIGRAM. 75.  
Honours mutant mores.  
WHen I and some of my Com-rades were poor,  
O Lord how we loved one another then,  
We loved as, I thought, no men could love more;  
But, since the most of them are grown rich men,  
And I stick fast still to my poverty,  
They fly from me and or I am scarce known,  
Or quite forgotten, what an Ass am I,  
The case is partly mine, but more their own:  
And their offence may well forgiven be,  
That have forgot themselves as well as me.   

EPIGRAM. 76.  
In Colaxem.  
SInce Colax came from the Low-countrieses wars,  
Each Tavern and Red-lettice knows his scars  
His scores too; well known to them all,  
Scars on his skin, his scores upon their wall.   

EPIGRAM. 77.  
In fungum.  
FAint-harred Fungus that dare fight with none,  
When he is drunk will fight with any one;  
Is't he, think you? No, Bacchus for his sake  
The shape of him doth surely undertake;  
Nor is it strange, for in Troy-wars we read,  
So for their favourites the old Gods did:  
With drunken Fungus ware you fight not than,  
For trust me 'tis God Bacchus, not the man.   

EPIGRAM. 78.  
In Luscum● quod quisque suae fortunae faber.  
LVs●●, the worst demeanured man alive,  
Wonders, of all he only cannot thrive,  
But ' 'tis his luck, says he, when by his favour,  
'tis not his luck, it is his lewd behaviour:  
" Our selves our fortunes frame (how ere he give it)  
" And none is hurt but by himself, believe it.  
Nemo laeditur nisi à seipso.   

EPIGRAM. 79.  
Alea, Vina, Venus.  
Four things in drinking breed our discontent,  
Our Wealth, our Wit, our Strength, our Time misspent,  
Three of the four (which makes us more aghast)  
Wealth, Strength and Time by Women are defaced.  
And two of three (take only strength away)  
Our Wealth and Time the die brings to decay.  
Therefore, that Wealth, Wit, Strength, Time be not lost.  
Fly Dice, fly Women, but fly Drinking most.   

EPIGRAM. 80  
Aliud de eisdem.  
THe earth three furies hath, which overmatch  
The Hellish A●●; yea, or all the Fiends  
Three headed Hecate did ever hatch,  
Yet holds the earth these Furies for her friends:  
And sucks the sweet that sourly doth digest,  
And first the Die she useth for disport,  
And holds the Grape-god greatly in request,  
Yet brings this this double pleasure, treble hurt.  
The third to these, I was about to name,  
Lusilla bobbed me, and bade, Peace for shame.   

EPIGRAM 81.  
In Cosmum.  
WHen Cosmus will aver a thing for truth,  
He swears, as he's a Gentleman forsooth.  
Well, say he tell the most notorious lie,  
Yet as he swears, 'tis true, and that swear I:  
For wot you whence the Gentleman did come,  
His father Miller had a golden thum.   

EPIGRAM. 82.  
De Epigrammatis suis.  
MY Epigrams, among my learned friends,  
Are only praised for their pretty ends,  
They join with me but only in the close,  
'Gainst all the rest they have too rank a nose;  
Liu●d he (who stole from Greece her eloquence)  
Tully should be his own and my defence,  
'Gainst those that my beginnings discommend,  
'Gainst those that note his sentences nice end,  
'Gainst all such self-conceited seeming-wise,  
Me and himself well would he patronize:  
Me, for my idle entering to the matter,  
Himself, for's Esse posse vid●atur.   

EPIGRAM. 83.  
Omni homo mendax.  
POoets and Painters, once it was your part,  
And none but you were privileged to lie;  
Now all the world authorizing your Art,  
Challenge a charter of like liberty:  
Philosophy affirms, a wise man may  
Sometimes dissemble with safe conscience:  
And your Civilian will not stick to say,  
That The officious lie is no offence:  
Our Pure Divines that make so to abhor it,  
False A●anias trade have not forgot.  
And for your Lawyer fee him roundly for it,  
he'll lie you faster than a horse can trot:  
Seek to Physicians, health they will assure thee;  
And if thou have a scab or ulcer grieve thee,  
What say the Surgeons? questionless the●'l cure thee,  
When both i'th' end in worse case do leave thee●  
How falsely swear your Sellers to the Buyers;  
Nay, almost, who will not abjure the truth?  
Yet being asked, who will they say are liars?  
Poets and Painters, and none else forsooth:  
Who tells me so, tell me too (if he can)  
Who's not a Poet, or a Painter than?   

EPIGRAM. 84.  
Fortius est qui etc.  
Ad Labeonem.  
Believe me Labeo, this were fortitude,  
Over thyself to get a victory;  
To see thy foul affections subdued,  
This were a triumph worthy memory;  
Though some will hold, true valour doth con●st  
In resolution and an active bodle,  
Of injuries not suffering the least,  
But who so thinks, I think him but a noddy.  
Achilles was commended, wot you why?  
Not for the valiant deeds he did perform;  
But than he showed his magnanimity,  
When 'gainst great Agame●non he did storm:  
Others perhaps with hasty insurrections  
Would take revenge of an injurious offer,  
Well could he temper our affections,  
And (what the valiant seldom can) could suffer  
True valour, Labeo, if I read aright,  
Must not be only Active to attempt:  
For why the Lion and the Bull can fight  
And show great minds too, and much hardiment;  
But the Irrational can only grieve:  
Ours must not be so Beastlike furious,  
But readier sometime, wrong to take then give,  
Else manhood might prove too injurious,  
Where it must be considerate and careful,  
Betwixt extremes to keep the merry mean,  
Not to be rashly bold, nor basely fearful,  
Not too too mild, nor too too full of spleen,  
Who thought one world too little to subdue,  
Found 'twas too much t'o'ercome a furious mind▪  
Then, as at first, so here conclude we now:  
Labeo, this were true fortitude I find,  
This were a triumph worthy memory,  
Over thyself to get a victory.   

EPIGRAM 85  
In Truncum.  
Swaggering Truncus swears in every town,  
He is for any for a broken crown,  
And fight, else damn him, he'll with any one,  
Marry with cudgels, edge-tools, he'll use none,  
I like the Woodden-hearted slave that wanting mettle  
He will be sure his weapon have as little.   

EPIGRAM. 86.  
In Gualterum.  
MY schoolfellow, and my old friend Gualther,  
Could read the ABC, Primer, and the Psalter  
None more distinctly, none could read it better,  
And now I hear he doth scarce know a letter;  
His marriage, and his wanton Wise men guess,  
have wrought in him this strange forgetfulness:  
If that be all, doubtless he will recover,  
If so be she will do but her endeavour:  
And as she hurt him she can help him too,  
Or make him learn his Hornbook o'er anew.   

EPIGRAM. 87.  
Vitia virtutis speciem induunt.  
VIce thought it once her only grace,  
T'Imm ask herself with virtues face,  
Now she abhors those idle shifts,  
And stands upon her own good gifts:  
Knowing the world's opinion  
Hath made her the world's Minion.  
When Pride is counted Decency,  
And Wrath reputed Valiancy;  
Enu●'s held for Emulation,  
Sloth a life in Contemplation;  
When all commend the Gluttony  
Of Egypt's Queen and Antony;  
And to be drunken once a week,  
'Tis a Gentlemanlike trick,  
Besides the wholesomeness they urge  
O 'tis Physic, 'twill the body purge;  
And Lechery; o GOD forbid,  
There should be sin in such a deed,  
Why it breeds love, begets delight,  
Besides the world is peopled by't.  
Dissembling and Hypocr●y,  
Shows Wisdom, and shows Policy;  
The world itself turned Machevill  
In practising and praising ill.  
Myself too, that can well become  
A Roman when I am at Rome,  
And otherwise when otherwhere  
English, Scotch, Irish, whatsoe'er;  
Am willing sometime to traduce  
To wanton sense my merry Muse,  
Holding it foolish modesty  
Idly still to talk of honesty;  
And say I do write ribaldrous,  
It is a vice held virtuous.   

EPIGRAM. 88  
In Palladium.  
PAlladius when all the world doth judge  
Thy wife so fair, thy servant such a drudge,  
I wonder what's the reason of thy wrongs  
To give the fowl what to the fair belongs.  
Or is't, because affections oft blindness  
Doth undeservedly dispose her kindness?  
Or is't, because it is our nature's course,  
To see the better, yet to seek the worse?  
Or this, or that, or what I know not else:  
Only I here men say the Maid she swells,  
Which makes me gather by the History,  
Farther meaning of a future mystery,  
And that Palladius did it, but to know  
By change of Pasture how a Calf might grow.   

EPIGRAM. 89.  
In Caluum.  
calvus swears a complete Gentleman  
Must have the Pox, or else he can be none,  
I see than I can not be what he can  
For I'll be sworn he is a pocky one.   

EPIGRAM. 90.  
Of Moll Cutpurse disguised going.  
THey say Mol's honest, and it may be so,  
But yet it is a shrewd presumption, no:  
To touch but pitch, 'tis known it will defile,  
Moll wears the breech, what may she be the while;  
Sure she that doth the shadow so much grace,  
What will she when the substance comes in place?   

EPIGRAM. 91.  
In Hylam.  
Hylas' the Puritan is of belief,  
That he by no means can a Cuckold be▪  
If whilst he sleep another slip t'his wife,  
For in my sleep I am as dead quoth he,  
And who can do a deadman injury:  
Here-hence his wife so wanton waxen is,  
That should he sleep ' tavoid all infamy,  
And die as often as she doth amiss,  
How many times a day, had Hylas need  
To drink of Lethe, or eat Poppy seed?   

EPIGRAM. 92.  
In Dorotheam.  
DOll, accused for a common Trull,  
Says, she is for her Country borne,  
Sweet sin as sweetly salved (sweet Doll)  
Thou speakest but reason I'll be sworn,  
Borne for thy Country, 'tis most true;  
Nay thou hast borne thy Country too.   

EPIGRAM. 93.  
In Castorem.  
CAstor, were it charactered in thy brow,  
Every offence thy lustful wise doth do;  
Them needeth not, that see thy knotty front  
So much wish: Now a horn-plague upon's:  
Rather they might with admiration  
Go learn the Art of Numeration  
Nor could they Number, but they might aim fair  
By likelihood; a Horn for every Hair.   

EPIGRAM 40.  
In ●undem.  
CAstor, thy horned brow can be no shame,  
That very place predominates the Ram,  
Besides th'in visible grace; thou fool, what fearest.  
None see the horns that many know thou wear'st.   

EPIGRAM. 95.  
In Momum quendam.  
THough 'gainst my Rhymes thou art outrageous,  
Think'st thou I care for thy fantastic fits?  
Thou sayst my sense is as myself, Contagious,  
'Tis Venomous, 'twill poison younger wits.  
Although I know the world holds me excused,  
And that my pen needs no Apology:  
I mean not for the method therein used,  
Or that it savours aught of Poetry,  
But for I do so libr'ally disclose,  
And touch the vicers of this vice-growne Age,  
And them to laughtes and to shame expose,  
As if I seemed possessed with holy rage:  
No, no, but let the Spartan speak for me,  
Whose vie I gladly imitate herein,  
He lets his Son his drunken Servant see,  
That by the sight he may avoid the sin,  
Like v●e, may men make of my Epigrams,  
That when they see deciphered here by me,  
Other men's sins together with their shames,  
By seeing others, may their own foresee.  
But O my ribald terms: No Momus, no,  
Hereby my Muse seems more commodious:  
Is't shame to say? How much more than to do,  
What by but naming seems so odious?  
Thus Momus, whilst thou labourst to pervert  
What I have laboured to a good intent  
Well mayst thou show the malice of thy heart,  
But never make me the more male content,  
Rather thou mak'st me proud to censure thus,  
" Envy is only against the virtuous.   

EPIGRAM. 96.  
In Fuscam.  
I Pray thee Fusca, wouldst thou have a Coach  
To post the streets, so like a paragon,  
That all that to thy Concave Car approach,  
May cry Madonna to a Courtesan,  
And simperingly salute a sluttish sweet,  
And as it were make curtsy to a crab▪  
Thy hopes are high, and yet perhaps may hi●,  
And destiny may dignify a drab;  
Or Bridewells duty may (to thy desert)  
If not a Coach, yet help thee to a cart.   

EPIGRAM. 97.  
In Fortunam.  
FOrtune, be stormy as thou hast been still,  
Disgorge thy good upon some witless gu●s,  
Still credit me in crossing me with ill:  
What says the proverb, Fortune favours fools.  
Folly thy favours, Wisdom hath thy frowns:  
Hence I suspect myself a poor wise man,  
Yet wish to be thy Fool, and full of Crowns:  
Sweet Fortunes Al●umize me if you can;  
Let me be Midas, and be this my fate.  
To be a Fool, and to be Fortunate.   

EPIGRAM. 98.  
Innersio Argumenti.  
Fool that I am to wish myself a fool,  
As if that Fortune would be Folly's friend,  
Each boy, but grounded from the Grammar-schoole,  
Will find my fault, and wherein I offend;  
Some Paradox, from Tully will he fetch,  
Or from the Stoics strain an argument,  
To prove, the only wise are only rich,  
And none are poor but the improvident.  
Is't true indeed? How came it then to pass,  
That Apulcius proved a golden Ass?   

EPIGRAM. 99  
In Frankum.  
FRankus indeed housekeeping's commendable,  
But hark you: you must fashion your course;  
Begin as to hold on you may be able,  
And rather still grow better then grow worse.  
Who keeps within his compass, at his pleasure  
May give his Liberality more scope,  
When he that spends beyond his means & measure  
Of being Better banisheth all hope.  
Beside, there's none almost but will misdoubt,  
Seeing such harebrained hospitality,  
How such a one is able to hold out,  
All through his lavish prodigality▪  
Frankus take heed, and fear this fowl disaster,  
The house may surfeit and spu● out his master.   

EPIGRAM. 100  
Ad familiarem suum, quomodo in Musam malè meritam animaduertat.  
MAy be my Muse, like that same foolish reed▪  
That all abroad his Master's shame descried  
Will do by me, as he by Midas did,  
And for a fool will make me notified.  
Which, gentle friend, if so it shall fall out,  
Massacre thou this my unthankful Muse,  
Let not thy Spirit be made a (—) clou●,  
All these my Epigrams are thine to use▪  
Which though they'll do thy study little grace,  
They'll do thee pleasure in some Privy place.  MARTIAL. LIB. 1. 
Cui legisse satis non est Epigrammata centum,  
Nil satis est illi, Ceciliane, mali.  
Explicit  
Rub and a great Cast  
Sequitur  
Run and a great Cast  
Brutigina tollant equites, pediteque, cachinnum:  
Per me equidem lic●at.    


* HORAT: 
jocum tentavit, éo quod Illecebris erat, & grata novitate morandus Lector.   RUN, And a great Cast  
THE SECOND BOWL.   

To the right Honourable his singular good Lord and Master, THOMAS Lord Winàsore: His Run, and a great Cast  
YEt more (thrice worthy Lord) more of that vain,  
My idler times and youthfulness affected;  
Agarb which amongst the gracefu'st wits doth reign,  
Whereto the choicest spirits are addicted:  
Not that I place my wit amongst the pregnant,  
And yet your Lordship, when that you have seen them,  
Shall see my stars have not been so malignant,  
But my conceits do carry salt within them:  
Though not like some, in such abundant measure,  
I may be named, though they be more noted,  
To whom the Muses have unlocked their treasure;  
Ennius (as artless as he is) is quoted,  
But hence vaine-boasting, I'll be no Suffenus;  
Only your Lordship's liking, and delight,  
And pardon when there's any thing obscenous,  
I hope, and crave; and where all goes not right,  
Your Honour rather pity then reprove,  
Since Duty shows her ignorance for love.   

Virtus vera Nobilitas, Symbolum Domini, scripto a se nominl, usitatissime subscriptum.  
THat virtue is the true Nobility  
I see subscribed oft to your written name,  
But who your virtuous actions shall eye,  
And how your heart habituates the same:  
He must confess it a far greater point,  
He sees it there but Written, here in Print.  
Your Honours ever the same devoted. T. F.   

Run and a great Cast  
LECTORI.  

EPIGRAM. 1.  
WHilst (Pedler-like) I here unpack my pen,  
And lay you forth the fairest of my wit,  
Still more and more conceits come flocking in,  
And in my brains do hurly burly it.  
To Grace them all, I would engross them all;  
But when I would this indigested heap  
Reduce (more seemly) into several;  
In steed of one; in, All together step.  
That when I would tell Sylla's tyranny,  
Or Nero's cruelty, and Caesar's stabbing,  
Strait interrupts me Druso's lechery,  
Lucullus drudging, or Lucilla's drabbing.  
Yet being willing (though not being able)  
I broach my best invention to dispose them;  
But proves my work still like the Tower of Babel,  
And thus confusedly I leave, and lose them;  
Than English Hodgepodge; Irish-boniclabor,  
Go on, go on, my Gally-maufree labour.   

EPIGRAM. 2.  
Ad Merionem, curpassim Poetae.  
WHy shouldst thou marvel so Meriones,  
Whence our so many chattering Poets rise?  
Hast thou not heard, 
Pierideses i● Puas.  how the Piorides  
Were metamorphosed to tattling Pies?  
Those Pies our Poets caught, this one got I,  
Which here thou seest I do again let fly.   

EPIGRAM. 3.  
Of Leathe false Accuser:  
LEa some three years since, the false accuser,  
Of his two ears, for that fault, was a loser:  
And yet they say, he swaggers, stamps, & swears;  
Pray you why not? who can have him by th'ears.   

EPIGRAM. 4.  
In Miluum.  
MIluus, that art deformed in thy face,  
In every part ill-fashioned by nature,  
Beware I wish thee, gaze not in thy glass,  
Look to thyself, but look not, in the water:  
Lest looking in thy glass, thou ' evacuate  
From forth thy filthy corpse, thy fairer soul,  
Or in the water shouldst grow desperate,  
And drown the oblect of thyself so fowl:  
How far unlike to fair Narcissus' fate;  
He, for self-love, thou, drowning for selfe-hate   

EPIGRAM. 5.  
Hincille lachrime.  
ALas the while, poor Kitchen boys may curse  
That whirling lacks, and Dogs in wheels turn broaches  
And Servingmen, poor Souls, have fat'de the worse,  
Since great men got the trick to ride in coaches,  
These first of these for food may now go statue,  
Nor needs th'attendance of a serving-man,  
A horse-paced Footman, and a Coach will serve,  
For certainly since first the world began,  
And great men, with the world, to run on wheels:  
They have but few or no men at their heels.   

EPIGRAM. 6.  
In Mopsam.  
MOpsa had not, I heard her when she swore,  
The toothache not these twenty years and more,  
And well may Mopsa swear, and swear but truth,  
'Tis above twenty since she had a tooth.   

EPIGRAM. 7.  
In Cletum.  
WHat's Cletus better for his Benefice,  
I see not how he can fit much the warmer,  
He owns the Sheep, another shears the Fleece,  
he's Parson, but his Patron is his Farmer;  
'Tis worth at least 200 hundred by the year,  
Cletus is glad he can get barely twenty,  
Nay and his Patron thinks he pays too dear,  
livings grow scarce, and Ministers grow plenty.  
Five for a Reader, ten pounds for a Vicar,  
Is fair preferment, twenty Marks a Preacher,  
With monthly Sermons, if he come off quicker,  
Why there's his praise, To be a painful Teacher.  
But Cletus takes too much above the Market,  
What twenty pound? well may his Patron grudge:  
He could have had as learned as Cletus clerk it,  
For less a great deal, nay for half as much;  
And swears his predecessor Parson took,  
But bare five Marks, besides his Easter-booke.   

EPIGRAM. 8.  
In Epitaphium pingui minerva composituur.  
WHen Crassus died, his friends, to grace his hearse,  
Requested one to make his funeral verse,  
Of whom they did procure it in the end,  
A ruthful one, and pitifully penned:  
That sure the man who made it, made great moan  
His Epitaph was such a sorry one.   

EPIGRAM. 9  
Aliud.  
THis Epitaph deserves, this on this stone,  
To lie as low, as he it lies upon.   

EPIGRAM. 10.  
Aliud.  
I Must needs say, were thou mine own brother,  
This Epitaph of thine deserveth another:  
Such sorrow would make the learned to laugh  
To read: here lies a dead Epitaph.   

EPIGRAM. 11.  
STrut to Size and Sessions brings a man  
To talk with him when he with none else can:  
Besides, to show he is of some command  
To talk to one, that stands with hat in hand.   

EPIGRAM. 12.  
De Pompeio & filijs, ex martial. lib. 5.  
POmpei genitos Asia, atg Eur●pa, sedipsum  
Terratenet Libies, si tamenulla tenot:  
Quid mirum, toto si spargitur Orb? jacere  
uno non poterat tanta ruina loco.  

Translatum.  
ASia and Europe, Pompey's sons, inter;  
Himself in Africa lies, if any where  
What wonder, through all parts o'th' world he's, thrown  
So great a ruin could not lie in one.    

EPIGRAM. 13.  
Honaratis: Domino suo T. D. W. in minoribato sua, dicat.  
SOme in their Loves, some other in their fears,  
Do wish my Lord, your days at least endure,  
To the full term of one and twenty years,  
The latter, but to make their States more sure;  
And those, are they, whose wills once being got  
Their wishes end, their prayers are expired,  
Then live or die; als one; they weigh it not:  
But they who in their loves your life desired,  
Will still the fates importunately trouble  
Your one and twenty, twenty times to double,   

EPIGRAM. 14.  
— Mediocribus esse Poetis  
Non homines, non dij, non concessere column.  Horat. art 
PIety o pity, death had power  
Over Chaucer, Lidgate, Gower:  
They that equalled all the Sages  
Of these, their own, of former Ages,  
And did their learned Lights advance  
In times of darkest ignorance,  
When palpable impurity  
Kept knowledge in obscurity,  
And all went Hoodwinked in this I'll,  
They could see and shine the while:  
Nor Greece nor Rome could reckon' us, 
Sloebat Graci, & Rome omnes alias gentes Barbas asnuncupari.   
As then, among the Barbarous:  
Since these three knew to turn pardie  
The Scru-pin of Philosophy  
As well as they; and left behind  
As rich memorials of the mind:  
By which they live, though they are dead,  
As all may see that will but read;  
And on good works will spend good hours,  
In Chaucer's, Lidgates, and in gower's.   

EPIGRAM. 15.  
To the worthy, his friend, Master FOULX KNOTTESFORD.  
WHo knows thee right he will thee rightly prise  
Above the general of Gentlemen,  
Not sullen-sad, nor selfe-conceited-wife,  
Yet knowing how to speak, and where and when,  
And how to live, and how to love thy friends:  
And say (as man) thou hast inherent sin,  
Thy rare and many virtues make amends:  
And do but hold the way that thou art in:  
The precedent begun, as well but end it,  
Many may follow, but there's none can mend it.   

EPIGRAM. 16.  
In Rodulp.  
RAfe is grown poor, and now the wood cock grudges,  
That his Inferiors rise and are grown rich,  
He swears he hates them, calls them dunghill drudges,  
And he hath spent, they'll never spend so much:  
Indeed he hath spent all, and I know none,  
I, able to spend more than Rafe hath done.   

EPIGRAM. 17.  
Vilior Alga.  
SO fares the world; we love our friends, if rich;  
I● not, than not: So wary wise we grow,  
We question not the manner, but how much words  
A man is worth: we ask no other How:  
Yet friendships praised, and virtue gets good  
‛ That's all the goodness this vile age affords.   

EPIGRAM. 18.  
In Peg.  
PEg would play false but that she stands in fear  
'Twill prove within three quarters of a year:  
She fancies, though she follows not the game,  
'Tis not for fear of sin, but fear of shame.   

EPIGRAM. 19  
In Lusillam.  
LVsilla, though her beauty be out-wore,  
Yet hath an Image of her fairest hue,  
As when she was but sixteen, and no more,  
That in her Chamber hangs to open view;  
To all that come, that portraiture she shows,  
And sighs she is not what she was whilere,  
This surrowed face so full of Cris. cross rows,  
Was once (quoth she) such as you see it there:  
With that she leaves him gazing on her picture,  
And makes to go, she knows not whereabout;  
But what's her meaning I cannot conjecture,  
Except she would her picture prostitute:  
And that it be more like her, and be lewd,  
While she absents herself so like a bawd.   

EPIGRAM. 20.  
To the Stationer.  
I Tell thee Stationer, why never fear,  
They'll fallen i'faith, an't be but for their Title,  
Thou canst not lose, nay, I dare warrant clear,  
They'll get thee twenty nobles, not so little:  
Why read this Epigram, or that, or any,  
Do they not make thee itch, & move thy blood;  
Of all thou hast had (and thou hast had many)  
Hast e'er read better nay, hast read so good?  
Dost laugh? they'll make the rigidst calo do it;  
Besides smooth verse, acquaint phrase, come, what wilt give?  
No more but so: Ah! what shall I say to it?  
I pity Poetry, but curse the time,  
When none will bid us Reason for our Rhyme.   

EPIGRAM. 21.  
Patruo suo colendist. Rich. Freem 〈◊〉  
THese, and himself that sends you these, are yours,  
From whom he yields he had his chief proceeding,  
To whom he owes his best bestowed hours,  
And (better than man's birth) ingenuous breeding;  
Though much against your mind he hath employed  
That precious jewel Time, to his great loss:  
Yet all you have bestowed is not destroyed:  
There's some gold o●e in this huge heap of dross:  
So much, and such as 'tis, accept, and save it,  
If it were more, and better, you should have it.   

EPIGRAM. 22.  
Eidem.  
TO whom may I these times more truly send,  
Then unto you, where they were bred & born,  
Should all forsake them, you, must be their friend,  
If good, your praise, if bad (t'escape from scorn)  
To Buckelers-bery; or Tobacco-takers,  
Or Flax-wives vent them, or near home you may,  
To Tewkesbery amongst the Mustard-makers,  
Or fire them, or send them quite away:  
Your only sweet course for Virginia ship them,  
For by the Statute you are bound to keep them.   

EPIGRAM 23.  
Consanguina● suo chariss. generosiss. W. Warmstry.  
WHo would you not in all abundant measure,  
The triple good of body, mind and fortune;  
e'en those to whom you never yet did pleasure,  
How much more, I may such a wish importune:  
Who in good troth if but the troth were known▪  
In wishing your health, do but wish mine own.   

EPIGRAM. 24.  
In Swaggerum.  
SWagger, the only Strike-fire of our time,  
Whose sword the Steel, whose fury is the flint,  
Well would this Cavalier become my rhyme,  
But, O impatience I 'Sblood put him not in't:  
For if I do, be sure he'll be my bane,  
Not hercules used the three-chopped Hellhound so,  
As I shall be, if in his clutches ta'en,  
he'll teach the cur for barking any more.  
Yet good sir Swagger, if I pen thy praise,  
Record thy valour, registering in it  
How many thou hast killed in thy days:  
All which I dare be sworn are living yet.  
If I shall say how thou becomest a terror,  
A Bugbear to those Babie-hearted slaves,  
That know not how they grossly live in error,  
To think thee valiant only for thy braves.  
If I shall term thee the Inns only hackester,  
The Taverns tyrant, like some cutting Dick,  
To call the Oastler rogue, beknave the Tapster,  
With, Fills another quart, come villain quick.  
If I shall tell how thou mad'st Pickt-hatch smoke,  
And how without smoke thou wast fired there:  
If I shall tell how, when thy head was broke,  
Thou wouldst have been revenged, but for fear.  
Thus if I praise-thee, say, shall I not please thee,  
Well, do, or do not, thus resolved I am,  
Swagger, thy words, thy oaths shall not release thee,  
Be thou the subject of this Epigram:  
Swagger thou mayst, and swear as thovart wont,  
Thou wilt not fight, I am assured on't.   

EPIGRAM. 25.  
In Quintium.  
IS't not a wonder, Quintius should so dread,  
To see a Hare run crossing in his way,  
The Sale fall towards him, or his Nose to bleed,  
Begin a journey upon Disemores' day;  
Yet fears not things more ominous than these,  
But dares to drink with him that hath the pox,  
And lig with her that hath the like disease;  
But what cares Quintius, so he ply the box?  
So long to swill with him, to play with her,  
Till he be sure of the venereal murr.   

EPIGRAM 26.  
In Malchaonem.  
Jealous Malchaeon thinks his wife will do it,  
And she, poor soul, to save his soul, falls to it:  
Would every jealous man had such a wife,  
He should be sure, be saved by his belief.   

EPIGRAM. 27.  
In duas meretricos litigantes.  
FRancke and Kate wage law, wherefore!  
Because that Francis called Kate whore;  
Yet Kate is known, and Francis too,  
Wenches that will not stick to do:  
Faith Kate, let fall thy Action  
Law proves it no detraction:  
I, him that weaves, a Weaver call,  
No vantage to be got at all:  
And how can Francke be found too blame,  
That to thy trade so fits thy name.   

EPIGRAM 28.  
In Salonum.  
OF● in the night Salonus is inclined,  
To rise and piss, and doth as oft break wind;  
If's urinal be glass▪ as 'tis no doubt,  
I wonder it so many cracks holds out.   

EPIGRAM. 29.  
In Caium: Dantur opes nulla nunc nisi divitibus.  
WHen Caius needed no man's amity,  
He might have been beholding unto many:  
But when he sought in his calamity,  
He could not be beholding unto any.  
Then every man his kindness gone recall,  
His friends forgot they ever knew the man,  
His kinsfolks were to him no kin at all;  
All scorned their quondam kind companion.  
A common case, and true it is we see,  
With seeming friends, how we shallbe attended,  
The whilst our state stands happy, who but we?  
O how the fortunate shallbe be friended!  
But when soul fortune throws us to the ground,  
Lo then they seek occasion to be gone:  
To beat that dog a staff is quickly found,  
Hang him (say they) we ne'er knew such a one.  
Riches are only given to the rich,  
And he that's down, shall still lie in the ditch.   

EPIGRAM. 30.  
In Rusticum generosum.  
WHy hath our Age such newfound Gentles made,  
To give the Master to the Farmer's son,  
And bid, Good morrow Goodman to his Dad,  
Whence hath his brat those braver titles won?  
He that saw nothing but the seething pot,  
That ne'er went further than Chimney corner,  
His father son (so like him every jot,)  
Why is he better than the elder Farmer?  
Except, as said King Philip long agone  
(Seeing his subjects honour Alexander)  
Men give more reverence to the Rising Sun,  
Then unto that which to the West doth wander:  
So did the ●ace 〈◊〉 adore  
For Philip's manhood, Alexanders●odhead ●odhead;  
So may we set this son, his site before,  
And call the father, Clown, the son a Gods-head.   

EPIGRAM. 31.  
Shroueteusd●y.  
YOu belly-gods, behold your Bacchanals,  
The Calends of the Epicures are come,  
Bombast your guts until you break your galls,  
Fat you with flesh; to morrowed goes from home:  
Now lard your lips, and glut your greasy logs,  
You Hinxy-hinds, you Bul-biefe-bacon-hogs.   

EPIGRAM 32.  
In Rufum legentem pracedens Epigr.  
RVfiu was reading the foregoing time,  
Early one morn when he was fresh & fasting;  
O Lord, said he, for that thrice happy time!  
Or that Shroveteusday might be everlasting!  
I looked, and laughed, and saw a wondrous matter,  
e'en as he wished his mouth began to water.   

EPIGRAM. 33.  
In Apparitores.  
CIte-sinne the Sumner is a sharking lad,  
He seems to friend offenders by forbearance,  
Only a trick to try what may be had;  
If nothing, beware their Doomsday of appearance;  
They must come in, the Court commands it so,  
And pulls his Process from his frighting powch,  
Shows to their names the terrible EXCO:  
This crowing Cock makes country lions crouch,  
With's Coramnomine keeping greater sway,  
Then a Court-Blew-coat on Saint George's day.   

EPIGRAM. 34.  
Lectori.  
IT will be thought to many, that I am,  
For some invective veins that I do use,  
Rather a Satire then an Epigram,  
But who so thinks mistakes my merry Muse:  
Who though she smite at first in th'end doth smile,  
And laugh at that she so disliked erewhile.   

EPIGRAM 35  
Epitaphium meretricis.  
Graves are gone on commonly we see,  
'Tis no offence to them that buried be:  
Why then this grave is for the common tread,  
And so was she too that therein lies dead.   

EPIGRAM. 36.  
Quis cladem.  
MOre did not Dulake, nor Godfrey of Bullen,  
Bevis of Hampton, nor Guy earl of Warwick,  
The Knight of the Sun, the three Kings of Cullen,  
Nor all the world twixt Dover and Berwick,  
Nor any man, if his Cap made of woollen,  
At land, at sea, without Castle or Carrack:  
Feeders on man's flesh, bloodsuckers brave lack  
Hath thumed many thousands, and killed with a knack.   

EPIGRAM. 37.  
Lectori.  
WHoop, whoop, me thinks I hear my Reader cry,  
Here is rhyme doggerel: I confess it I;  
Nor to a certain pace tie I my Muse;  
I give the Reins, anon the Curb I use;  
And for the foot accordingly I fit her,  
To diverse matter using diverse meeter,  
Her lines, they are as long as I allot her,  
As why not, vessels be as please the Potter,  
Nor care I for a Censors civil hood,  
I please myself, at home my music's good.   

EPIGRAM. 38.  
MEn are grown monsters now at last,  
By their apparels alteration:  
Their knees are bigger than their waste,  
Else how came in the Cloak-bag fashion?   

EPIGRAM. 39  
In Heredipetam.  
AGed Leontuss ha●h much land and wealth.  
And but one son, & that ●●me one so● sickly,  
Sickly to see his father in such health,  
My proper squire looks the church-books weekly▪  
Compares his fathers with his grandsires years,  
And how long all that lineage wont to live,  
And yet his father; O● and then he swears  
To have him wound, what would he not give?  
Fie on this sin of sons, for not this one,  
But many thousands wish their fathers gone.   

EPIGRAM. 40.  
Ad Risum.  
LAughter to thee that art mirths eldst-begot,  
My sportive idleness I dedicated;  
Good show thy tooth, or if thou hast them not,  
Let's ●●e bare gums, the 〈…〉 bare smiles I hate,  
To see one's lips drawn in a direct line,  
Yawn me, and laugh, until thou fall to coughing,  
And on thy hip-bone lay that hand of thine,  
And swear thy heart is almost broke with laughing,  
Your Pu●itanicke laugh I do detest,  
And hear them say; 'tis pretty▪ Hang your pretties▪  
Laugh till thou have the Hickocke in thy chest,  
Else get, and sit, and laugh amongst the petties:  
Shall I speak plain? I do not care a●f.  
For ha ha hes that come not from the heart.   

EPIGRAM. 41.  
Asinus ad Liram.  
IN merriment, I once upon a time,  
Did make a Clown acquainted with my rhyme:  
And gave him leave to turn a m●rry leaf,  
Although I knew, I sung to one was deaf:  
Yet how he, with blind eyes, and judgement blinder  
Could look and like (for then asoole none kinder)  
And laugh and draw his lips aside and smile,  
At that he understood not all the while:  
Nay I dare swear for ●ight conceiving me,  
His father's horse had as much wit as he.   

EPIGRAM. 42.  
In Elizabetham.  
BEsse doth Act●onize her husband's Crown,  
And trimming his head proves she trimmes her own,  
And yet her head is still attired but badly,  
Bess, once, quoth I, I would the reason gladly,  
Mine own (quoth she) do you not that descry,  
My Husband's mine, and that same head trim I.   

EPIGRAM. 43.  
In Fungum.  
FVngus the usurers dead, and no Will made,  
Whose are his goods? they say no Heir he had,  
Sure I should think (and so hath Law assigned)  
They are the devils, for he's next of kind.   

EPIGRAM. 44.  
In Gulielm●m.  
WILL would have Officers reform well one fault,  
And punish severely transporting of Malt:  
Peace Will, there's none can remedy the matter,  
It hath gone, and will go away, still by water.   

EPIGRAM. 45.  
In Rollonem.  
ROllo hath made away a fair estate,  
Well seated Lordships, goodly Manor places,  
And now they say he walks a simple mate:  
He is no janus, hath not many faces,  
And yet he hopes and haps upon a string,  
And here's his comfort: friends he hath in Court,  
By them he'll get some forfeits of the King;  
Some Statute-breach, no matter whom it hurt,  
Or get some office, or perchance procure  
A Corporation for some petty Trade,  
Himself free on't too, may he not? yes sure  
If Beggars may a Company be made,  
Or fools, or madmen, some rich charter get,  
There is some hope of Rollo's rising yet.   

EPIGRAM. 46.  
In Sextinum.  
A Pretty block Sextinus names his hat,  
So much the fitter, for his head, by that.   

EPIGRAM. 47.  
Encomion Cornubiea.  
I Love thee Cornwall, and will ever,  
And hope to see thee once again,  
For why thine equal knew I never,  
For honest minds and active men:  
Where true Religion better thrives:  
And GOD is worshipped with more zeal;  
Where men will sooner spend their lives,  
To good their King, and Commonweal;  
Where virtue is of most esteem,  
And not for fear, but love, embraced:  
Where each man's conscience doth seem  
To be a Law, and bind as fast:  
Where none doth more respect his purse,  
Then by his credit he doth set:  
Where Words and Bonds have equal force,  
And promise is as good as debt.  
Where none envies another's state,  
Where men speak truth without an oath:  
And what is to be wondered at,  
Where men are rich, and honest both.  
Where's strict observance of the Laws,  
And if there chance some little wrong,  
Good neighbours hear and end the cause,  
Not trust it toa Lawyer's tongue.  
Where, as it seems, by both consents,  
The Sea and Land such 
* Ex piscatione, & stanni fodi●is.  plenty brings,  
That Landlords need not rack their rents,  
And Tenants live like petty Kings.  
Where goodness solely is regarded,  
And vice and vicious men abhorred:  
Where worth in meanest is rewarded:  
And to speak briefly in a word:  
I think not all the world again,  
So near resembles of Saturn's reign.   

EPIGRAM. 48.  
In laudem Pensanciae.  
WHat ever Markaiew pretends  
Upon some musty old record,  
For Noblest hearts and truest-friends,  
Pensance shall ever have my word:  
No little Town of like account,  
On this side, nor beyond the Mount.   

EPIGRAM. 49.  
In Hieracem.  
HIerax now a Hermit may become  
He dwells alone, and not a neighbour by him,  
Indeed there stood: but he, for elbow room,  
Demolished quite the village that stood by him.  
Pox on his coin, that scurvy white and yellow,  
Have made him 
* Country proverb.  bailiff Acham, without fellow.   

EPIGRAM. 50.  
In Caconum.  
CAconus thinks his Dad doth do him wrong,  
To live and keep a way the land so long:  
Why, he hath lived these 80. years and odd,  
And yet he is not going towards GOD;  
he's never sick, nor e'er will be, he thinks,  
With such an appetite he eats and drinks:  
Sleeps sound, walks, and talks with such a courage▪  
And sops his dish himself, and sups his porridge;  
And looks so buxom, bonny, and so blithe,  
Not dreaming once of death, or Times sharp scythe.  
His father; why he'll be, (he'll hold a Testor)  
Some nine-lived Cat, at least, some three-liued Nestor.  
His soul, she needs no transmigration doubt,  
She hath a body will so long hold out.  
An Heir: why if the sates thus still defer it,  
Impossible to live for to inherit.  
I think in very troth (if troth were known)  
He would his father's death, and fears his own.  
A habit now a days in sonne● soon gotten,  
Scarce ●ipe they wish their Parent: dead and rotten.   

EPIGRAM. 51.  
In Brusorem.  
BRusor, is grown to be a man of wealth  
Only by knavery, cozenage, and stealth.  
As all men know, yet none dare say so much,  
For now he's honest, why; because he's rich?   

EPIGRAM. 52.  
His defiance to Fortune.  
HEnce cares, I will none of your wrinkled surrowes,  
Before my time, to make me to look old;  
I'll not submit my younger years to sorrows,  
No sullen-sadnesse shall of me take hold:  
And though the ragged hand of fortune shake me,  
As that my nearest kindred will not know me,  
And all my old acquaintance quite forsake me,  
And whilom friends no friendship now will show me,  
Though cruel chance doth rack me with that rigour,  
Would make almost the stoutest fall to stooping,  
Yet shall my heart retain her wont vigour,  
And this my Muse shall keep my mind from drooping:  
Perhaps I'll triumph too, and make loud boast,  
How Fools have fortune, and brave men are ●rost.   

EPIGRAM. 53.  
In Medicastrum.  
ONce, and but once, in my most grievous sickness,  
I sought by Physic to support my weaknesses  
And got me unto no great learned man,  
No Galevist not Paraculsian:  
One that had read an English book or two,  
Yet what dared he not undertake to do?  
He took in hand, the Urinal I brought him,  
And told me what some Almanac had taught him,  
Surueid my water, gave me such an answer▪  
As well I wot showed but a simple censure:  
In fine; I found in him no other matter,  
But I to cast my money, he my water;  
And I returned poorer in my purse,  
But sick in body, as before, or worse.   

EPIGRAM. 54.  
In johannem.  
Jacks once curled Scalp, is now but skin and bone,  
There's not a hair awry for there is none:  
And call it by what name you list to use,  
Or Scaled or Bald, there's not a hair to choose.   

EPIGRAM. 55.  
Et dare ●utoricaleous ista potest.  
O Let me laugh before I tell you how,  
Old Miso's son is grown a Cavalier,  
Become a flat Recusant to the Blow:  
Hang't, he a drudge, and be his father's Heir,  
Nay, such a one's Lieutenant of the Shire,  
an't shall go hard but he will wear his cloth:  
Or he'll serve him that shall be Sheriff next year,  
Not for the world will he live as he doth,  
He ' le shake of that same home-made russet su●e,  
And book his father but he will have better,  
Whose name he knows sufficient to do't:  
The Mercer's glad too of so good a debtor.  
Lo in a Blewcoate, or a Livery Cloak,  
Who swaggers it, but good sir Clunian;  
His hands behind him, or in either poke  
he's every Gentleman's companion:  
When by his leave, in good time be it said,  
And Ape's an Ape, how trim so ere arrayed.   

EPIGRAM. 56.  
In Grobenduck. Animum gerit is muliebrem.  
SIr Grobenduck i'th' house is better skilled,  
Then with his servants working in the field;  
He marks the maids, and what they have to do,  
To wash in Soap, to Buck, to Bake, to Brew,  
M●lke, and make Cheese, Churn Butter, Spin, and Card:  
To call the Pigs and Poultry i● the yard,  
Grope Hens and Ducks: ●'th house what longs unto it  
O● he see's done, or he himself doth do it,  
And but for wearing long-coates, like in all  
To the Assyrian Sardan ●pall:  
This Woman-man, this House-Hermophrod●te,  
Doth live nor like a Lady, nor a Knight.   

EPIGRAM. 57  
In Prodigum.  
Poor Prodigus brags wheresoe'er he comes  
How much he hath consumed in his days:  
How many hundred pounds, no lesser sums:  
Think'st Prodigus this can be for thy praise,  
Thou, whose decline can never be redeemed  
Of friends, of fortunes, every way defac'st,  
An Irus now, though Crassus late esteemed:  
Think'st thou the world takes notice what thou wast!  
No, no, thou shalt be ballanc'st as thou art,  
men's minds are metamorphozed with thy means,  
And want can alienate the truest heart,  
And: Lo, (saith some one) how on us he leaves,  
Perh prithee thinks that we will bear him out:  
He says it too, perchance, that cost thee much:  
The whilst thou brag'st thou hast not spared to do't,  
For him ere now, and twenty other such:  
When none but fools would boast the bankrupt joy  
Of Once we flourished; we have been of Troy.   

EPIGRAM. 58.  
Sine sanguine & sudore.  
RAfe challenged Robin, time and place appointed,  
Their parents hard on't, Lord how they lamented,  
But, God be thanked, they were soon freed of fear,  
The one ne'er meant, the other came not there.   

EPIGRAM. 59  
In L●●●●ettam.  
LAuretta is laid o'er, how I'll not say,  
And yet I think two manner of ways I may,  
Doubly laid o'er, videlicet, her face  
Laid o'er with colours, and her coat with lace.   

EPIGRAM. 60.  
Cur Vulcanus non Planeta.  
WHy is not Vulcan, many times I wonder,  
Amongst the seven Celestial Planets one:  
He that made love the Gyant-quelling Thunder,  
When he kept shop within the Torrid 
* allem, quam Aetn●▪ cunque fabul●r Poetae.  Zone?  
Why not as well as Mars the God of strife?  
Or Saturn he that looks so dull and done?  
Why not as Mercury that cunning Thief,  
Or that prospectiue-glasse-eied God the Sun?  
I wonder why not rather then his wife?  
Or changing Moon (and one as horned as he?)  
I cannot find the reason for my life,  
Except (and that may chance some reason be)  
Because a fellow of no Influence:  
Bad in Conjunction, worse in Aspect,  
And therefore Mars got the pre-eminence,  
For he supplied, where Vulcan made defect:  
Besides his polt-foot; all these might fore-token  
He should no Planet be, but Planet-stroken▪   

EPIGRAM. 61.  
In Vopiscum.  
A Changeling, no; Vopiscus scorns to do't  
Nor be a shifter, still he's in one suit:  
Yet ●or his Constancy, let none deride him,  
For by his clothes he seemeth semper idem:  
Perchance Religious, and I should aread,  
Some Capuchin by wearing still one Weed.   

EPIGRAM. 62.  
In Puritanum.  
Who's that encountered us but even now,  
With such a level and Religious a look?  
So grave and supercilious a brow  
With such spruce gate, as if he went byth' book,  
His cloak (not swaggering) handsomely, he wore  
His head and beard short cut his little tough,  
His double● fit ●or's belly, and no more,  
With seemly hose made of the self-same stuff;  
In all, how nea●ly, and not nicely trim:  
Nay, and (me thought) his words as well he placed,  
Saluting us when we saluted him,  
As e'er I heard, I pray thee say, who waste?  
Know you no● him sir? 'tis a Puritan,  
Trust me, I took him for an honest man.   

EPIGRAM. 63.  
Morum amorum, amicorum candidissimo cordatissimo, suo, Magistro johanni Smith Oxon.  
WHat shall I say? but what I must say still,  
Let any Cymcke with a light go seek,  
At night, at noonday, at what time he will,  
He may look long, and miss to find thy like:  
For a free spirit that breathes more sincerely,  
In harmless sport, and mirth with innocence,  
That loves his friend more truly, more entirely,  
Speaks honest English without compliments:  
The womb that bore thee, bore thee not a brother,  
For ● such sons could not come from one mother.   

EPIGRAM 64.  
Of Spencer's Fairy Queen.  
VIrgil from Homer, th' I●alian from him,  
Spenser from all, and all of these I ween,  
Were borne when Helicon was full to th'brim,  
Witness their works, witness our Fairy Queen:  
That lasting monument of Sponsors' wit,  
Was ne'er come near to, much less equalled yet.   

EPIGRAM. 65.  
In Phaedram.  
NOw by her troth she hath been, Phadra says,  
At a play far better edified,  
Then at a Sermon ever in her days;  
Phaedra▪ 'tis true, it cannot be denied:  
For stageplays thou hast given ear to many,  
But Sermons Phaedra never heardst thou any.   

EPIGRAM. 66.  
In Caeliam.  
NO, hang me Calia, if I'll be thy guest,  
We scarce begin to eat, but thou to chide;  
This Goose is raw, that Capon is ill dressed,  
And blamst the Cook, and throwest the meat aside:  
When we sit judging, that would rather eat,  
No fault o'th' Cooks, 'tis thou wouldst save thy meat.   

EPIGRAM. 67.  
Typographo.  
PRinter, that art the Midwife to my muse,  
To bring to light what is unworthy light,  
Let me entreat thee leave thy wont use,  
Print not at all, or print my book aright:  
Trouble not thou the Reader to go see  
Faults escaped in the Impression,  
Too much already is transgressed by me,  
Augment it not in thy profession;  
But where thou seest my imperfections wants,  
The Sense scarce seeming intelligible,  
Give me the fairest Characters thou canst,  
It is thy grace it go forth legible:  
They that peruse, will praise it for the print,  
If for no other goodness they see in't.   

EPIGRAM 68  
In Lucam.  
LVke says, Let Gallants gallant howsoe'er,  
They are but like the Moon, and he the Sun;  
For every month a new suit they do wear,  
When a whole twelve month he is still in one:  
'Twould make you laugh, if you the reason knew,  
He hath nor means, nor money, to buy new.   

EPIGRAM. 69.  
Ad Sam. Danielem, ut civil bellum perficiat.  
I See not (Daniel) why thou shouldst disdain, 
Aetes' prima canat veneres postrema tumultus: Master daniel's Mot● prefixed to most of his Works.   
If I vouchsafe thy name amongst my mirth;  
Thy Aetas prima was a merry vain,  
Though later Muse tumultuous in her birth:  
Know, here I praise thee as thou wast in youth;  
Venereous, not mutinous as now;  
Thy Infancy I love, admire thy growth,  
And wonder to what excellence 'twill grow:  
When thou shalt end the broils thou hast begun,  
Which none shall do, if thou shalt leave undone.   

EPIGRAM. 70.  
In Aemiliam.  
AEMilia took her husband in a trip,  
Adventuring his ware in a strange ship;  
Poor soul, she could no less, she chafed, and child him;  
But for she did no more, there she undid him:  
For now he's saucy, and there's little odds,  
Betwixt him and that Pagan-king of gods:  
And cares no more than jove when juno spied him,  
For now he knows the worst, she will but chide him.   

EPIGRAM. 71.  
In Moscam.  
WHile Mosca's teeth in e'en ranks fair stood,  
Her nose could never give her chin the meeting,  
Where now regarding not how near in blood,  
theyare seen with shame, incestuously greeting:  
Or it may be her chin's like a Salt pit,  
And Pigeon-like her nose lies pecking it. 
Amant loca salsa colum●ae.    

EPIGRAM. 72.  
In Sotonem.  
SOto, a country justice, at each Session  
Speaks more than all the Bench, doth never cease,  
'Tis contrary to his profession,  
Or if a justice, surely none o'th' Peace.   

EPIGRAM. 73.  
In Cleon.  
TI● one of Cloes qualities,  
That ever when she swears, she lies:  
Dost love me Cloe? swear not so,  
For when thou swearest, thou liest I know▪  
Dost hate me Cloe? pre thee swear,  
For than I know thou lov'st me dear.   

EPIGRAM. 74.  
In Owenni Epigrammata.  
OWen, not to use flattery (as they  
That ●une men's praises in too high a key)  
Thus far, in troth, I think I may commend thee,  
The Latines all (save one) must come behind thee,  
Add yet one little, but a lovely fault,  
Thou hast: too little gall, 
Semper excipio 〈◊〉.  but full of salt.   

EPIGRAM 75.  
In Thuscum.  
THuscus doth vaunt be hath an Ouid● vain,  
That for my every one verse he'll make twain;  
Lick he like 
* Vide Virgilij vitam.  Virgil too, I do not doubt,  
For lack of liking, he'll lick all his out.   

EPIGRAM. 76.  
In eundem.  
THuscus writes fair, without blur or blot,  
The rascall'st rhymes, were ever read, God wot;  
No marvel: many with a Swans quill write,  
That can but with a Goose's wit indite.   

EPIGRAM. 77.  
Quid non ebrietas?  
APe-drunkards they are merry, Lion-drunkards mad,  
Fox-drunkards cheat, Swine-drunkards lie and spew▪  
Goat-drunkards lust, and these, and more as bad,  
Beasts attributes to men by drinking grew:  
Yea this same sin when it dis●igures least,  
Deforms a man, and makes him but a beast.   

EPIGRAM. 78.  
In Carentium.  
CArentius might have wedded where he wood,  
But he was poor, his means were nothing good▪  
'Twas but for lack of living that he lost her,  
For why, no penny now, no Pater noster.   

EPIGRAM. 79.  
In Leucam.  
LEucas doth think 'twould countenance 〈◊〉  
To dedicate it to a Puritan,  
With some more solemn title set to it,  
A●d a fair Preface to that holy man.  
Tu●● Leucas, so my Book, by such a 〈◊〉  
Might be accounted a dissemble● too▪  
A 〈…〉 with an outward ●ecke;  
Why that is all the Puritan can do;  
Nay, let him with a penny-father f●c●  
O're-vaile his shame, and vizardize his sin,  
When none performeth fruits of lesser grace:  
My times, such as they are, shall such be seen;  
Their very title shall instruct men rather,  
Grapes upon ther●s how hopeless 'tis to gather.   

EPIGRAM. 80.  
I Have some Kinsfolk rich, but passing proud,  
I have some friends, but poor and passing willing,  
The first would gladly see me in my shroud,  
Which in the last would cause the tears distilling:  
Now which of these love I? so God me mend,  
Not a rich Kinsman, but a willing Friend.   

EPIGRAM. 81.  
CRispus could help me if he would,  
Charus would help me if he could;  
Would Crispus Charus mind did bear,  
Or Charus but as wealthy were.   

EPIGRAM. 82.  
In Tyburn.  
TIburne is a Wrestler, yet can nor leg, nor trip,  
But play at collars, and 'tis odds she throws you with a slip.   

EPIGRAM. 83.  
In lactantem Poetastrum.  
ONe told me once of Verses that he made  
Riding to London on a trotting jade;  
I should have known, had he concealed the case  
e'en by his Verses, of his horses pace.   

EPIGRAM. 84.  
To john Dunne.  
THe Storm described, hath set thy name a float,  
Thy Calm, a gale of famous wind hath got:  
Thy satires short, too soon we them o'relooke,  
I pray thee Persiu● write a bigger book.   

EPIGRAM. 85.  
In Gallam & Gelliam.  
IF Galla frown, is Gellia disdainful?  
Sure like the tradesmen of some town they are,  
Who for to make their merchandise more gainful,  
Do pitch a common price on all their ware:  
And why not Galla and her fellow jade,  
Use common tricks too in their common trade.   

EPIGRAM. 86.  
In Thuscum.  
THuscu●, print not thy Epigrams, for men will see  
thoust sucked, nor with the Spider, nor the Bee;  
honey, nor Poison: not a drop of a Gall,  
There's not a corn of Salt among them all,  
Thy wit hath been an honest Innocent,  
A Natural, a john-indifferent:  
Nay more, (to speak comparatively sportful)  
A john in Porridge, neither good, nor hurtful.   

EPIGRAM. 87.  
To George Chapman.  
GEorge, it is thy Genius innated,  
Thou pickest not flowers from another's field,  
Stolen Similes or Sentences translated,  
Nor seekest, but what thine own soil doth yield:  
Let barren wits go borrow what to write,  
'Tis bred and borne with thee what thou inditest,  
And our Comedians thou out-strippest quite,  
And all the Hearers more than all delightest,  
Wi●h v●●ffected Style and sweetest Strain,  
Thy in-ambitious Pen keeps on her pace,  
And cometh nearest the ancient Comic vain,  
Thou hast beguiled us all of that sweet grace:  
And were Thalia to be sold and bought,  
No Chapman but thyself were to be sought.   

EPIGRAM. 88  
In Milonem.  
HEre's Milo to be seen with a strange goose,  
Not such as in the Stubble's wont to lag,  
Nor such as Tailors in their trade do use,  
His is more costly, well may Milo brag:  
Besides, it came from Winchester: O rare!  
Far got, dear bought, but no good Lady ware.   

EPIGRAM. 89.  
In Hodge.  
HOdge sees men shun him, & doth wonder why,  
They know (qd●he) my breath will not infect them▪  
I never had the pox, nor plague yet, I;  
These who so have, men worthily reject them:  
Hodge, thou hast poverty, a worse disease,  
Then pox, or plague, or twenty worse than these.   

EPIGRAM. 90.  
In Lucam.  
AS Hearts their horns, as Serpents cast their skins,  
Luke leaves his old faults, and a fresh begins.   

EPIGRAM. 91.  
In Elizabetham.  
WE say th' Ibertans Belgia do oppress,  
But 'tis the French, if we be judged by Bess:  
Who knows, where i'th' low-countries (would she blab)  
They made hot wars, and bred, and left a scab.   

EPIGRAM. 92.  
To Master W:: Shakespeare.  
SHakespeare, that nimble Mercury thy brain,  
Lulls many hundred Argus-eyes asleep,  
So fit, for all thou fashionest thy vain,  
At th' horse-foote fountain thou hast drunk full deep,  
Virtues or vices theme to thee all one is:  
Who loves chaste life, there's Lucrece for a Teacher:  
Who list read lust there's Venus and Adon●s,  
True model of a most lascivious lecher.  
Besides in plays thy wit winds like Meander:  
When needy new-composers borrow more  
Thence Terence doth from Plautus or Menander.  
But to praise thee aright I want thy store:  
Then let thine own works thine own worth upraise,  
And help t'adorn thee with deserved bay.   

EPIGRAM. 93.  
To his worthy friend Master Heywood, of his Gold and Silver Age.  
SO wrote the ancient Poets heretofore,  
So hast thou lively furnished the stage,  
Both with the golden, and the silver age,  
Yet thou, as they, dost but discourse of store,  
Silver and gold is common to you● Poet,  
To have it, no; enough for him to know it.   

EPIGRAM. 94.  
TWo Gallants in a ba●dy house once fought  
Who first should be possessor of the prey,  
The stronger man by force won what he sought,  
Yet got he not the glory of the day:  
For sure in my opinion I held,  
The man that lost was he that won the field.   

EPIGRAM. 95.  
In Aegyptum suspensum.  
Charles' th' Egyptian, who by juggling could,  
Make fast or loose, or whatsoever he would,  
Surely it seemed he was not his craftsmaster  
Striving to lose, what struggling he made faster,  
The hangman was more cunning of the twain,  
Who knit, what he could not unknit again.  
You Countrymen Egyptians make such sots,  
Seeming to lose indissoluble knots;  
Had you been there, 
●he Egyptians ●rase.  and but to see the Cast,  
You should have won had you but laid: 'Tis fast.   

EPIGRAM. 96.  
Of Tho. Nash.  
NAsh had Lycambes on earth living been  
The time thou wast, his death had been all one,  
Had he but moved thy tartest Muse to spleen,  
Unto the fork he had as surely gone:  
For why there lived not that man I think,  
V●●e better, or more bitter g●ll in Ink.  
o'er Lycambi●ae● rabioso occiderit ambas  
Archilochus. Quia patr●m & filiam furce.  
Auson: Carminibus adegit.   

EPIGRAM. 97.  
Cencri Thomae B●ugh, qui dum ambit & amittit Rectoriam, S. Sepulchr, moriens, ibi Sepulchrum invenit.  
STellified Baugh, St. pulchers much mistook  
That took thee not, as worthy as another,  
And knewest as well 〈◊〉 the seven-seal'd Book,  
And bring them sweet Milk from the Church their Mother,  
But they rejected thee as Berea Paul.  
For which thy blessed soul shaken off her dust,  
And let her frail corruption 'mongst them fall,  
And now she sings and Saints it with the just:  
Now heaven her to a happier place prefer'th,  
Then to be Saint Sepulchred here in earth.   

EPIGRAM. 98.  
Aliud.  
TO lose by Fortune, and to win by Fate,  
Such was the case of learned Baugh of late;  
He sought S. Pulchers; where (though not his lot  
To have S. Pulchers) yet a grave he got.   

EPIGRAM. 99  
Fata Epigrammat●r  
I Wish not with ambitious desires  
These lines eternity, no I do not,  
Nor yet to live the nine lives of a Cat:  
For few and none but those blessed heaven inspires,  
Are like to live unto another age;  
Our former Writers, we count barbarous,  
Succeeding times may do as much for us;  
And then shall we be thrown off the Stage,  
Yea e'en the best; much less these idle toys  
May they hope life; but like th'abortive birth  
No sooner borne but dead, so this my mirth:  
Or at the most some Term, or two, enjoys.  
Epigrams like the stuffs your Gallants wear,  
Hardly hold fashion above half a year.   

EPIGRAM. 100  
Conclusio.  
HEywood wrote Epigrams, so did davis,  
Reader thou doubst, utram horum mavis,  
But unto mine whose vain is no better  
Thou wilt not subscribe, Relegetur, ametur:  
Yet be it know though thou do not heed us,  
I am, Mihi domi placens citharaedus,  
Although in thy good will I should rather glory,  
To have thy good word Suffragari labori.  
Thus careful of love, careless if thou hate us,  
I rest I protest, in utramque paratus.  
Th. Fr.  Martial. Terceatena quidem po●eras Epigrammmata fir Sed quis te ●erret perlegere●ve, liber. 
FINIS