A godly Exhortation, and fruitful admonition to virtuous parents and modest Matrons. Describing the holy use, and blessed institution of that most honourable state of Matrimony, and the increase of godly and happy children, in training them up in godly education, and household discipline. R.G.  
Imprinted at London for Nicholas Ling. 1584.   


1 NEw, or young married folks ought not licentiously to go together, before they have first upon their knees, secretly in their chamber, commended themselves unto God by prayer: after the good example of Tobias and Sara, Tobit. 7.17. & 8, 4.  
2 It is the duty of parents to bless their children, and wish them all good: a pattern whereof we have in Genesis. Chap. 4.8. vers. 15.20. & jacob Numbers cap. 6. vers. 24.  
3 It is the mother's duty, so well as the fathers, to instruct her children with precepts of good doctrine: so did Bethsheba teach her son Solomon: as you may read Proverbs chap. 13.1.  
4 Poverty and shame is to that child, that refuseth Instruction, and will not abide correction: but that child that regardeth discipline, and giveth ear to the instruction of their parents shall come to honour: Proverbs 13.1.18.  
5 Who so laugheth their father to scorn, and set their mother's commandment at nought, the ravens of the valley eat out their eyes, and devoured be that child of the young eagles. Proverbs 30.17.  
6 A wise child maketh a glad father: but a foolish and undiscreet daughter is a heaviness to her mother. Proverbs. 1.10.  
7 A well nurtured and mannerly maiden is as a polished stone of a Palace, and the honour of her father's house: as appeareth by the prophet David in his Psal. 114.12.   
THe holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sons, as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himself sorrow, and that the father of a fool hath no joy, Proverb. 17, 21. Meaneth it not so much of natural idiots, and such as are destitute of common reason: although it is true, that is a lamentable judgement of God, and a heaviness to the parents of such a child: as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word, nor knowing how to order one right step to the kingdom of God, or else having some knowledge, abuse it to maintain their carnal lusts and appetite. For this cause, as it would grieve parents to have natural fools to their children, or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembered, or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their body, so much more should it grieve them to have such children, as either for want of knowledge and heavenly wisdom, can not walk in the fear of God, or abusing the knowledge given them, prostitute themselves to all sin and wickedness: it is marvelous how greatly parents can bewail the want of one natural gift proceeding of some imperfection, and how easily they can pass over without any grief the want of all spiritual graces, springing from corrupt education. In like manner is it strange that men can take the matter so heavily when their children break into such offences as either have open shame, or civil punishment following them, and yet can make no bones, but pass over such sins as are against the majesty of God, accompanied with everlasting confusion, and unspeakable torments: wherein what doth the most part of men bewray, but their great hypocrisy, in that neither their joy, nor their grief is sound to their children, and that they love themselves more in their children, then either their salvation or the glory of GOD: the tender love and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of David for the death of his son Absalon, who was not so much grieved for the loss of a son, as for that untimely end of his son, to whom the time of repentance, for his salvation and the glory of God, was denied: which haply, if he had lived, his father David might have rejoiced in. Let us learn therefore to correct our affections to our children, and be grieved for their ignorance, impiety & sins, whereof either our carnal copulation, the not lamenting of our natural corruption, the want of prayer and holy seed, or profane education, armed with the wrath of God, may be a most just occasion. Can a man hope for a holy posterity? or do we marvel if the Lord cross us in the children of our bodies, when we make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mare: when being joined in that honourable estate of matrimony, either as mere natural men without all knowledge of GOD we beget our children, or as too carnal men without the fear and reverence of the Lord: neither bewailing our corruptions, which we received of our ancestry, nor praying against the infirmities which may descend to our posterity, we abuse the marriage bed. lastly, when having received the fruit of the womb, we have no care, by virtuous education, to offer it to the Lord, that our child by carnal generation may be the child of God by spiritual regeneration. Surely no: and yet men looking up to God his providence and secret council, without all bethinking themselves of their corrupt generation, from which their children are descended, without all looking back into their wicked and godless bringing of them up, will fret against their sins, fume against their children: yea often they will correct them, and that to serve their own corruptions, not so much grieved for that they have sinned against God, as that they have offended them. Christians therefore must know, that when men and women raging with boiling lust meet together as brute beasts, having no other respects then to satisfy their own carnal concupiscence, when they make no conscience to sanctify the marriage bed with prayer, when they have no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect, it is the just judgement of God to send them either monsters, or natural fools, or else such as having good gifts of the mind, and well proportioned bodies, are most wicked, graceless, and profane persons. Again on the contrary we shall find in the word of God, that noble and notable men, commended unto us for rare examples of virtue and godliness, were children asked and obtained of God by prayer. Our first parents Adam and Eve, being humbled after the birth of their wicked son Cain, obtained a righteous Abel, of whom, when by his bloody brother they were bereft, they received that holy man Seth. Abraham, begetting in the flesh had a cursed son Ishmael, but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his covenant, he obtained a blessed Isaac. jacob not content with one wife, according to the ordinance of God, was punished in his children: yet afterward being humbled he received faithful joseph. Elkanah & Hannah, praying and being cast down, had a Samuel that did minister before the lord David and Bethsheba, lamenting their sins, obtained Solomon, a man of excellent wisdom. Zachary and Elizabeth fearing the Lord, received john the Baptist & forerunner of Christ. Look what sins we have received naturally without GOD his great blessing, without prayer & humbling of ourselves, we shall convey them to posterity: and although the lord granteth sometimes civil gifts unto the children of natural and carnal men, yet for the most part they receive their natural sins. But if the children of God by regeneration do see in themselves, and lament their sins of generation, praying that their natural corruptions may be prevented in their posterities, they shall see great mercies of god, in some measure freing their children from the same. Now when thou shalt see such sins to be in thy children, enter into thy own heart, examine thyself, whether they are not come from thee, consider how justly the hand of God may be upon thee: and when thou wouldst be angry against thy child, have an holy anger with thyself, and use this and such like meditation with thy own soul: Lord, shall I thus punish mine own sin? and that in my own child: shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors? nay I see, O Lord, & prove that thou art displeased with me for the too carnal conception of my child: I lay then in some sin, I asked it not of thee by prayer: be merciful unto me (O Lord) and in thy good time show some pity upon my child. Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy child which he could not help, arming thyself with prayer, repenting with jacob, thou shalt be so affected as desirous to draw thy child out of sin, yet with the mildest means and least rigour. And one thing is most wonderful: that some will teach their children to speak corruptly, and do wickedly whilst they are young, and yet beat them for it when they are old: again some will embolden their little ones to practise iniquity towards others, which when by the just judgement of God they afterward exercise towards the parents themselves, they are corrected for it. And yet deal with these and such like men for the evil education of their children, and they will answer: do not we as much as is of us required: we send our children to the Church to be instructed of the pastor, and to the school to be taught of the master: if they learn, it will be the better for them, if not, they have the more to answer for: what can we do more? But remember, O man, consider, O woman, whosoever thus speaketh, for that sins sake, and the want of prayer there may be a plague upon the pastors pains, and a curse upon the teacher's travel. If parents would have their children blessed at the Church and at the school, let them beware they give their children no corrupt example at home by any carelessness, profaneness, or ungodliness: otherwise parents will do them more harm at home then both pastor and schoolmaster can do good abroad: for the corrupt example of the one fighteth with the good doctrine of the other: which is by so much the more dangerous, because that corrupt walking is armed with nature, and therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side. And further experience teacheth us that children like or mislike more by countenance, gesture and behaviour, then by any rule, doctrine, or precept what soever. Some there be that will not have their children taught until they be ten or twelve years old, because as they say, at that age they have but an apish imitation. To whom I answer, that although they cannot then deeply discern, nor profoundly conceive things, yet how many things before these years will they both receive, and remember? And I demand if children be apish in imitating that, whiles they be young, which they will have the habit of when they be old, may they not much better do apishly good whiles they are young, which they may do carefully when they are old? beside let them go so untaught, and they will grow so headstrong, that they will sooner be broken, than bended: and sure it is that one stripe, or two words will do more good to a child in time then a hundred stripes afterward. And here let parents be admonished of their undiscreet correction, who do their children more harm in showing a merry countenance after their discipline used, than they do good by their chastisement of them whiles they do correct them. Neither do I purpose to take away natural affections anda Christian kind of compassion in all our censures: for it is my great complaint of the brutish unmercifulness of many parents herein, but would wish Christians, to correct their undiscreet affections herein by heavenly wisdom. Neither am I so Stoical as to deny a more mild and affable kind of speech to be both lawfully and conveniently used to children, and yet I wish it to be void of all unseemly lenity, and without all show of foolish, vain and unnecessary behaviour. To be brief, how needful household government towards our children is, it may appear by the slender thriving and small profiting either of religion or virtue, either in the church or common wealth. Speak men of discipline never so much, complain they of the want of church government never so loud, preach they, teach they never so much abroad, unless they will begin discipline in reforming their houses, and give religion some room at home, they shall travail much, and profit little. And surely, if men be careful to reform themselves first, and then their families: if their charge be greater their circuits and provinces, wherein the Lord hath placed them, it were the best way to move the Lord to bestow reformation, and discipline on his church among us: and of all means that now may be hoped for this seemeth best: for of particular persons come families, of family's towns, of towns provinces, of provinces realms, so that conveying discipline thus from one to another, in time, and that shortly it would come into the church: well (I say) let there be never so good laws in cities, never so pure orders in churches, if there be no practice at home, if fathers of families use not doctrine, and discipline in their houses, & join their hands to magistrate and ministers, they may indeed, but unjustly, as many have done complain that their children are corrupted abroad, when they were before, and are still corrupted at home. Alas if parents, to whom the comfort of their children well brought up is a precious crown, will not inform and reform their children in the fear of God, how would hope sustain these men, that others will perform this duty for them, to whom this charge doth far less appertain? lastly, let parents remember, that therefore they have disordered and disobedient children to themselves, because they have been disobedient children unto the Lord, and disordered to their parents when they were young, whereof because they have not repent, the Lord punisheth their sins to others with the like sin to themselves. Wilt thou know, thou father, how thou mayest have that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed? wilt thou know, thou mother, how to avoid that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed? bring thy children within the compass of the covenant: endeavour to make thy son the son of God, and thy daughter by nature the daughter of god by grace: and remember how that God, which on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giving him a blessed seed, and requested also on father Abraham's part, that he should walk before him, and be upright. Wilt thou then have the one part of this of the covenant: that is, that God should bless thee in thy seed? then remember also that thou walk before the Lord, and be upright: wilt thou have thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham? teach them with Abraham the judgements of the Lord: pray for them with Abraham, that they may live in though light of the Lord: be ready to offer them with Abraham, that they may be a holy sacrifice unto the Lord, It is thou, O man, O woman, that mayest do thy child the greatest good, and the greatest harm: if thou prayest for him, and repentest for thyself, the Lord will bless thy care, the pastors pains, the teacher's travail. But if thou dispisest these duties, the Lord will deny thee these blessings, and the curse of God will be upon thy child, at home in thy house, abroad in the Church, and in school. And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God, and bless thy seed, if thou be'st faithful, thou mayest both hope that thou art of the faithful, if thou hast a blessed seed, and fear, that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the covenant when thy seed is accursed. But had not jacob wicked children, and David godless sons? and doth not daily experience teach us, that wicked men have godly children? yes: for besides the secret counsel of the Lord herein, we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so universal that every particular child of a faithful man should be within the covenant: for if of many there be but one blessed, the promise is performed: yea, which more is, though the faithful man have never a good child, yet, if unto the thousand generation there be but one good, the covenant is not broken: neither must we tie the Lord his work so much to man, that a good man may not have an evil son: seeing though the Lord visit not his sins, yet he may visit the sins of some of the forefathers, to the third and fourth generation going before. To the second I say, that an evil father having a good child, though the Lord show not mercy to that particular man therein, yet he may remember his promise to some of the forefathers in the thousand generations going before: and though that evil man have no cursed child, yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following. Wherefore not speaking of election or reprobation, which we leave only to the Lord to make good or bad, I exhort parents to use the ordinary means, to bring up their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God, and heirs of the covenant, or at least be comforted in their own conscience if their children for some cause unknown refuse it, in that to their ability they have used all good means to bring them up well, and offered them to God. And if parents have cause to be grieved, when thus traveling in good education, they cannot see good in their children, how much more cause of grief may they have when they have used no labour at all to bring them up in the fear of the Lord? And yet many will be grieved for the one, that will not for the other: wherefore let us learn, if we will convey God his blessing to our posterities, let us use the duties there unto, let us, if we be loath to convey God his judgements to our children, carefully avoid the means unto it: and surely as it is a blessed thing in the hour of death, with Simeon to departed in peace, leaving our wife, children and servants members of Christ, spouses to Christ, children to God, and servants to the Lord: so in death no one thing will be more grievous unto a man, than the Lord having given him the charge of so many souls to be furthered to salvation, that his own tormented conscience shall press him, how, in as much as he could, he hath helped them forward to their damnation: and so, which is more fearful, he shall have them spewing and foaming out on his face continual curses in hell, accusing him for ever to be a murderer of their souls, and a cutthroat of their salvation. How be it, in all this I do not exempt Children from all blame, so charging the parents as though the Children were free from all guiltiness herein: for I am not ignorant, that as in the time of Ezechiel, so in our days youth is ready enough to take up this proverb: the fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge: but I affirm, that though the occasion be offered of such wicked parents, yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselves, And besides that, it is sure that the soul which hath sinned shall die the death. Seeing there be some young men, who, notwithstanding the great profaneness of the most, the manifold corruptions offered abroad, the ungodly examples abounding at home, are so mightily preserved by the seed of grace, that they escape safely in an holy course of life, lamenting when they see the least occasion of evil, rejoicing in the least occasion of good things. The rest who please themselves, and hope to shelter their sins under their parents defaults, are plainly left without excuse, and are justly guilty of thebloud of their own sins. Labour therefore, ye young men, to wipe away the tears of grief from your father's eyes, and stay the sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers, and consider in yourselves, if ye have any nature in you, and have not buried the use of common reason, what a shame is it to be a shame unto your fathers, to whom ye ought to be a glory: think ye, wanton wits, that have not cast of all natural affections, what a contempt it is to be a contempt unto your mothers, to whom you have offered as it were a despiteful violence, in that ye are a corrosive to her grief, when as ye should have been a crown unto her comforts. The end of all this briefly is thus much: that parents having fools, Children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some use of so just a cause of grief, examining themselves, and accusing their own souls before the Lord, either for that their meeting was profane to so holy an estate, or brutishly, because they desired rather a seed like unto them in flesh and blood, than such as might be like to Christ by grace and new birth, or that they begat their offspring as mere natural or very carnal men: or because they either profanely neglected all education, or monstrously misliked that in their young children which they liked in themselves, and punished in them their own corrupt precepts, or for that they suffered their Children injuriously to do evil to others, which they could not suffer to do to themselves: or untaught that at home which was taught abroad: or in that they do lie in some sin unrepented of: or else because they never made conscience to bring their posterity within the covenant of salvation, but still loved the flesh of their children, and not their souls. And children here also must learn that it is one special property of a liberal and ingenious nature to be careful so to live, that in time they may be a glory to their fathers, and a joy to their mothers: which the Lord grant to us all, for his own glory and our everlasting comfort, through jesus Christ our Lord and only Saviour. Amen.   

Imprinted at London by John Windet and Thomas judson for Nicholas Lyng Anno domini. 1584.