LINSI-WOOLSIE OR TWO CENTURIES OF EPIGRAMS. WRITTEN By WILLIAM GAMAGE Bachelor in the Artes. Patere, aut Abstine. LONDON, Printed by Aug. Mathewes for Henry Bell, and are to be sold at his Shop in Bethelem without Bishop's Gate, at the sign of the Sun. TO THE RIGHT NOBLE, A●…D my much honoured Lady, KATHERINE▪ Lady MANSELL, daughter to the Right Honourable Lord, L. Viscount de Lisle: Earth's Glory, and Heaven's Happiness. RARE PARAGON of vertne, affying, or rather presuming on your heroical disposition, I have adventured to conduct to the open field of the World Two Centuries of Epigrams, which, if they be deigned to march under the Banner of your Ho: protection, I doubt not, but that they may the safer, as they say, Pass the Muste●…. And the rather I build on your all-favourable patronage by reason of your Ladyships near affinity with that worthy, and Tres●…ble Sir Philip Sidney, whose golden Pen vouchsae fed to Apologise the renowned art of Poetry. If thimy Rural, and unacquainted muse Limbs no●… forth either in Matter, or Manner the vive ●…ort traitur of an Epigram, your Ladyship may ea●… conjecture, that it was rather Cherillus Pen, and not Apelles Pencil that shadowed it; but hoping the acceptation, with your Ho: protection hereof, if not for the Work, yet for the names-sake, I ever rest Your worthy Ladyships most devoted Votorie: WILLIAM GAMAGE. Ad Ingeniosum, & modestum amicum, G. Gamage de Epig. ALpha Epigrammatewn per me sit noster Oënus, Hic primum, aut nemo est, dignus habere locum: Tuquotus es Gammagi? ex nominis indice, Gamma. Sed te Musa facit Beta Epigrammatewn. Ad eundem de eisdem. GRata diù fuerant quae linea-lanea, nostris, Gratatamen nostris tegmina, si qua diù. Talia tu texis (Gamage) Poemata, plus quam Lanea sunt usu Linea deliciis. Grata ut sint, dubitas, bruma atque aestate placebunt, His delectari femina, virque queant, Hoc tantùm distant aestatem tegmina durant, Aetates durant haec tua texta, vale, Mo. Fortune in Art Mag. è Col. je. Hexasticon. In fideliss. amici G. Gamage Epigrammata. LAeta invant relevando graues Epigrammata mentes: Sunt tua laeta satis, sunt tua casta satis. I●…da nè metuas mordacis murmura Mo●…: Colla●…det Mo●…us, vel meliora ferat. 〈◊〉 documenta boni, ●…ta futura Posteritatis erunt, scribere perge, 〈◊〉. Ro Harris in Art Mag. Ad Cordatum amicum G. Gamage de Epig. FAecunda est aetas, multos tulit ista Poetas, At tibi (Gamagi) non tulit ista parem. Aliud ad Lectorem. PErlege, quicunque es, decies repetita placebunt, Aut tibi, quicunque e●…, nulla placere queunt. Hen. Atho, in Art Mag. Ad amicum amantiss. G. G. in Epig. LAudibus excelsis tua sunt Epigrammata salsa, Digna, Legat Puer haec, haec legat ipse senex. Quamuis es in●…enis, tame●… experientia rerum Ingeni●…que b●…num, te facit esse senem. Sacre Sacra canis, reso●…sque profana profanè, Vax quoquè cuique rei qu●…libet 〈◊〉 s●…at. Apparet docta 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 lingua 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉 coluisse Ch●…ros. Io. Vauhan, Art. Mag. Idem ad Librum in Zoilum. SI te quis Zo●…lus rabido vult rodere dente, Aetatem domini ponderet ipse tui. In Epig. cognati, & amici explorati Gu Gamage. SI●…cinè disparibus lusisti moribus orbem, Innumeris Numeris (trux Epigramma) tuis? Rustieus Vrbanus, quid vis? Bellosus, Amator, Magmatibus nitidis Aulicus? hoc & habet. Chaire suum cuique est, nec vot●… ludimus uno, His diversa placent: quid culis? hoc & habes. In Zoylum. Tam benè compactos calamos vult dente repelli Zoylus edax nostrum? subfugat, hoc nec habet. Uult Numeris nostris includi moribus? ecce Rem teneat; numeret furcifer: hoc & habe. Gul Hughes, in Art. Bacc. Idem ad Librum. EIà agè per Genios faciles, Momosque per ignes: Per vari●… rerum faeces, per saxa, per umbras. Tetra●…ichon. Ad suum amicum Gu. Ga. in sua Epig. LA●…dabunt omnes Epigrammata docta priorum, Hoc opus excultum vincit (amice) tuum. Haec mandes Scriptis; es Cedro digna locutus; Te presens aetas, posteriorque canent. Hop. Price Gener. Ad cognatum perchariss. G. G. in laudem Libelli. HIc liber est parvus, non parui: gratia paruis Est sua: sic libro gratia magna suo. Pergas; quid densis latitas, Philo●…use. sub umbris, Aspiret coeptis aura secunda tuis. Io. Powel è Coll. Oriel. To his friend, and familiar W. Gamage of his Epigrams. OFt have I fed on Epigrams before, With which my appetites I overpress; Thy better wit hath kept me these in store, 〈◊〉 a sweet banquet to digest the rest: ●…'d in with plates of Crystal, scoured so clear, 〈◊〉 to each guest his picture may appear, Another to the same. If what Pythagoras hath wrote be true, Some antique Satire lives in thee avew, Nature and Art are with themselves at strife, To whom thou hast given greater praise or life; On both alike, for Nature first began, Then Art made perfect what from nature ran. W. Hughes. To my lo friend W Gamage in the praise of his Epigrams. THy overlooking of the pleasant fields, In sport abroad to spend some idle hours: Hath gathered fruit not of unfruitful weeds; But set a Bank of sweet and fragrant flowers. Continue then both earl'e and late to rise To walk abroad, to use this exercise. Another of the same. In my conceit this thy conceited Book, Deserves the stamp of everlasting praise: Fear no man's face that on his face doth look, His forehead shines with complemental rays. Gamage thy name and of thy age the Game Thou dost deserve, though not desire the same. Matth. Bennet. The Author to the Praisers of his book. IT feare●… me, that your kind heroical Lays Are too transcendent for my humble strain: And Load-stone-like draw to themselves the praise; And so my Muse receive a dull disdain. No force, I hope your lines will soothe some one To read my Book, and descant thereupon. Linsi-Woolsie. THE FIRST century. Epig. 1. To his heroic, and splendent Patroness. Katherine, Lady Mansell. THis stuff of mine, I grant, is overcourse, For your fine wearing Lodestar of our Clime, Yet let it serve, I pray, though few be worse As a course garment for this Winter time. Ere Summer else, I do most highly fear, That Momus will my Loom in sunder tear. Epig. 2. On her Name. C CEll of virtue thou art rare, A Any with for to compare, T That doth dwell in Camber's Clime, H Having ●…oble Sydney's Line▪ E Ever beautify thy name, R Royal, worthy peerless dame: I In virtue still let be thy dwelling, N Never ill, in good excelling; E Eternising so thy fame. M Might my prayer be accepted, A Accept it, Lord, and grant her issue: N Never none to be rejected S Send her, children, cloath●…d in Tishue▪ E Erect her calling at thy pleasure, L Let her life be virtue's Treasure: L Led her soul where Angels are. Epig. 3. To the worthy founder of our famous Oxonian Library, Sir Thomas Bodley built in the form of a T. THe forked Y, as learned Sages write, Contains in it deep mysteries divine: Thy target T if that I true indite▪ Doth shelter in't more many a sacred Line Then all the letters of that * sage his name; Such is the Glory of thy Vatican. a Pythagoras. Epig. 4. To the Reader of his Poëmes. SOme of these Poem, some will Satyrs call, What though some be grim Satyres-like, and tall? Which Monsters be, pertaining to the Wood.) These do molest the Bad, but please the good. Epig. 5. On Zoylus, of his Book. ●…Oets do style thee oft a biting Mate; Which argues thee the eater of some Books: Eat this withal, but leave to Bark thereat, So that in fine this Morsel quite thee chokes. Epig. 6. A Courtesan, Etymologized. A Courtesan most fit derives her name, By her conditions from a courteous Dame. What Nature did to her so gratis give, With this she will all such as beg relieve. Epig. 7. The Noontide Walker of Paul's. WHat makes thee stay? Well nigh, since all be gone. Thou tellest me, cause some verses thou wouldst make. Is't so? thou may'st since thou art most alone, And cause all day thy Panch must empty quake. Epig. 8. Garnet, with his Twelve Apostles. IOseph, with his Apostles twelve first plants, In England's Soil, Religion pure to grow; But thou, and thy twice six infernal Wants, Didst this endeavour to supplant; and Sow Thy Popish D●…rnell; but the season failed, And thou with thine, to tyburn's post was nailed. Epig. 9 The sick-man's Dialogue. Sickness what art? the Bodies schourging Rod; What else? the queller of thy lofty blood. Moreover what? the path unto thy God. And what in fine? Death's message for thy good. Since thou art then the soul and body's weal, Come when thou wilt from thee I'll ne'er appeal. Epig. 10. On our Bacchanalians. To Magistrates. THunder as anc'ient Poets fabulize, Begat God Bacchus, Lord of all misrule: No wonder then his Nephews, which Portize Till they be drunk, use clamours like the Mule. Remove the cause th'effect soon take away: you'll ask me how? lop down the ivy Bay. Epig. 11. To his dear interessed friend Mr. M Cradocke. AS I thy ground did compass and o'erlook I compassed well nigh, this trivial Book. Epig. 12. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Bucci●…s. To his 〈◊〉. Mr Rob Lloyd. o'er many are, as we may daily see, That start too soon to Moses' sacred ●…eat; Before they fit beneath G●…aliels knee, To suck the Nectar of his flowing Teat. These Bro●…hers be of schism and heresy, Not skilling how to teach or edify. Epig. 13. To the worthy Maecenas of learning Mr. Anthony Guin, Esquire. AMongst the Scythians Anacharsis sage Was their sole Clerk, the * Anacharsis ●…ter Scytha●…. Proverb verifies. I will not say, in this our learned age, Thou art sole Phoenix, in arts Mysteries. But this I'll say, in this our barren Clime: Thou ●…t the best Maecenas unto thine. Epig. 14. To the studious Gent, Mr. I. Carne. THy s●…dious Book, thy bla●…ed fame shall ring: When others pastime ●…o great shame shall bri●… Epig. 15. Un●… 〈◊〉. To his respective fr. Mr Row Harry's, of pious, religious scholar, Mr. Hop. Price, lately deceased. SOme grave in years▪ in lore but childish yet, In stud'ing, fleering, fleeting, fading toys. But thou, young Price, hadst certs a graver wit In conniug precepts of aye lasting joys. Let these alone t'enjoy their fruitless art; Thou doubtless now hast chose the * Luca 10. 42. better part. Epig. 16. To our Modern Epigra●…matists, of his Poems. ALL Arts, which latest come to common view, Are commonly the best without compare; But in these lines you cannot find this true, Like timeless fruits, unmellowed right which are, For you have gathered all the Summer's flowers. here are but leave mixed with Hiems showers. Epig. 17. One Mouns●…er Elatus, deceased. IT lately seemed by thy aspiring mind, Thou total wast composed of lofty fire: Which upwards tends, the place to it assigned, But thy downfall unto the basest * qui cadit in 〈◊〉, non habet unde cadat. mire, Betokens now thy substance was but clay; Which should have stooped thy loftiness always. Epig. 18. A new Convert. THy change was good, from bloody▪ killing sword; To Preach and Teach the ever living Word. Epig. 19 A rare Metamorphosis. IS it not strange in this our iron Age? To see one clime to Pulpit, from the Stage. Epig. 20. The Epitaph of the studious Gent. Mr. Hop. Price, To the worshipful, his loving Father Mr. Wm. Price, Esquire. AS my true love was loyal unto thee, Whiles that thou breathest within this valty Cell; Which shall not end with thy mortality, But in the grave with thee shall ever dwell: So take these farewells as thy only due, Of thy dear friend, thy death which doth 〈◊〉. Farewell, bright Gem of learning's worthy grace; Farewell, great hope of all the Muses nine; Farewell, sweet Imp, with thy Angelic face; Farewell embracer of the Word divine. Farewell, dear Price, whose price I cannot count: Farewell, until we meet in Sions Mount. Epig. 21. Duke Humphrey 〈◊〉. THy Tomb has gratis more spectators e'er Then those of Westminster for Coin I wot; 'Tis strange, therefore they do not pay more dear, But as I guess, they be not worth a groat. Epig. 22. Gullus, Grillus. Gum: HOw goes the world, my Grillus, now with thee? Gr: Comrade, my life naught is but slavery; Gum: How so, a Freeman for to be a thrall? Gr: Free borne, but yet, Don Magnus' Tennis Ball. Gum: Cashier his yoke cast of his servile Badge. Gr: Oh, no, for fear of his most furious rage. Gum: What World is this? must you be Rombus slave? Gr: Yes; else for such, just nothing we can have. Epig. 23. To I G. THy Crosses were full many in account; But, ay, one * Ins●…ia. Many, doth these many moun●…. Epig. 24. Tillage. To his fr. Mr. je. Cradocke. TIllage is good, the Husbandman's true badge; While youth remains, still fructifies, Till Age. Epig. 25. The Symp●…hie of Law, and Logic. To his Academ●… Cousin, Io. Powel. THe subtle Logic, and the crafty Law, Most equally within one yoke doth draw. Both use * 〈◊〉. Deceits, the one for glory vain, Th'other doth abuse it for his Gain. Both Brawlers be, and do for ever jar. Th'one at School, the other at the Bar. But of all 〈◊〉 we must choose the less; And from Impostors us for ever bless. To Logicks quipping tongue, I'd rather stand: Then to Laws cruel, shearing, shaving hand. Epig. 26. Quicquid in 〈◊〉 venerit. To Mi●…r Futilis. THy Sivie breast can keep no secrecy, But force●… all things there●…ut for to ●…e: If there were vent to gable lie, or truth; Thy breast should be in lieu of open mouth. Epig. 27. Fides so●… 〈◊〉. To Mr Wadams, the worthy founder of a new Co●… ledge in Oxford. THe Popi●… sect fair Colleges did 〈◊〉 Whereby they tho●… themselves to ●…tifie; But sole true Faith we see doth now adays, Produce Good daughters, works of 〈◊〉. Which caused, I think our Wadam so to wade, In building Columns, which shall never fade. Epig. 28. On Cur●…s, and C●…riosus. I Did force thee present my faultless B●…ll, And prayed there●… thy hand to underwrite; Thou toldst ●…ay; for that 'twas framed ill, ●…d why? thou saist, cause faults it did not cite. Thou differst then from Curiosus quite, Which will subscribe to all but to the Rite. Epig. 29. To M●…nsier After. AFter, in what? in name, sure not in Lore, For most Sr. john's thou goest bold, Before. Epig. 30. To King james, Britain's royal Monarch. THe Vnico●…e, and Lion join in love, Which props the Arms of our most Gracious King; Tho enemies in all things else they prove Themselves unto themselves; a wondrous thing; That beasts should be more humane in their kind, To 〈◊〉 pearl; then men's Divisions blind. Epig. 31. To the ●…st illustrious Brothers, the Earls of Pembroke, and 〈◊〉. WAles styles you Both with titles great of fame: You pay ' it alike, your Greatness mounts 〈◊〉 Name Epig. 32. To the learned and ingenious Divine, Mr. D. Hall, of his vows Cent. SOme vow, and break; thou vowstand dost fulfil; Such is the difference 'twixt good, and ill. Epig. 33. In the praise of Brasen-nose Coll. THy Nose more famousis, though't be of Brass, Then many a head of many a golden Ass. Epig. 34. To his loving fr. Mr. je. Price. Batch of Divinity. WEll may we liken Gods most Sacred Writ, Unto the form of Alcibiades: Which outwardly looked plain, and nothing bright, But inwardly, most like fair Goddesses: So doth God's Word seem rude, in outward face; But the clear Spirit yields a shining grace. Epig. 35. On perfidious Carl, the Love-maker. CArle will not keep promise, wot ye why? He thinks by Law all Suitors well may lie. Epig. 36. To his friend and Physician Mr. Wm. Voyle. MY friend thou hast a grief in Physics art, Called, Me noli tangere, by name; For being touched it forthwith yieldeth smart. How caused thou then to this a Medicine frame? Each grief, I think within thy * His Study. Bookish Cell, With this grief's name will be contented well. Epig. 37. To his golden Gildus. THe feigned Utopian * Ex Mo. Utopia. weareth in his ear A ring of Gold in lieu of infamy; But, Gildus thou, Gold earrings still dost wear, Which is thou sa●…st, thyself to glorify. What glory ist? it serves to hide the sore, Which in thy ears the Pillory did Boar. Epig. 38. To sober Mr. Bevans. Sobriety thou countest a sin, and why? Because thou seldom livest soberly. Epig. 39 The Shepherd's Calendars Arithmetic. THou Calendar of Shepherds far didst err●…, In numbering Gods Commandments by rote; When Nine for Ten for Truth thou didst aver, Leaving the second out, not least of note. This thy substraction serves no other Sheep But thine; which basely to the Image creep. Epig. 40. Perkin●…. THou sweet, profound Divine, with one sole hand, Didst raze more buildings of the Popish frame, Then many a one, that seeketh to withstand With both at once the Gunshot of the same. here doth the Maimed, (a wonder) as we see The whole o'ermatch, in Christ his soldiery. Epig. 41. To Sr. Io. straddling, Knight and Baro●…et, of his learned Epig. THy Muse fits not the vulgar in effect: For reading, s●…ns conceit, is to neglect. Epig. 42. jewel, the Hammer of Heretics. THou jewel wast a jewel rare indeed▪ Of value more than is the Ophir gold: For this doth only deck the body's weed; But thy most heavenly words most sweetly rolled Do deck the soul; and thy keen English Pen Did cut * H●…dings. his throat, that sung the Pope's Amen. Epig. 43. D. Rainolds Ghost. WHat made thee Atlas of our Church divine? For to decline so under thy light poise: Which never stoopst to any Popish shrine In all thy life; but loath'st such Trash always. Thy answer is hereto most right I doom, Burning to us thou didst thyself consume. Epig. 44. To Mr. Blable the Tale-teller. DAme Nature gave thee two ears and two eyes, My wheel-tongued Gemy) which doth seldone stay, And but one mouth (through her foreknowledge wise) That thou shouldst more both hear, & see, then bray. But thou dost blab against minerva's Law More than thy Ears did hear, or Eyes ere saw. Epig. 45. To the H●…: and most virtuous Lady, Barbara, Vicecountesse de Lisle, the Omega of the Gamages. ALL Rivers that do run to Neptune's Vast, Do lose their names let them be ne'er so great: So thy great Grandsire's names in thee at last, Do lose their stile, and Coyties royal seat. What tho? is not the sea of more renown Than Rivers, which in him themselves do drown? Epig. 46. Gabriel Goodman, heretofore Deane of Westminster. GOodman waist hight, (and less I miss to scan) Thou wast indeed a zealous right good man. Epig. 47. T●… Baccho, quam Vulcan. To Hugh, the Ale-Draper. THou art a Crafts-man good; yet all thy Craft Cannot detain thee from too deep a Draft. Epig. 48. To the noble heroic Gent: Sir William Sidney Knight of the place of his Nativity. ZEland did blaze thy birth, be like thy name; Then Sea, and Land, shall Trump thy Golden fame, Epig. 49. To Zutphen, a Town in Gilderland, at the Beleagring of which, the renowned Sir Philip Sidney was killed. I Witted not which thy fame or infamy, Doth more exceed, in causing Sidney: fall: But yet, I rather think thy fame, for why? Before that time thou hadst no fame at all. Epig. 50. On Elizabeth's Emblem, late Queen of England, Tanquam out'ts. THou wast a Sheep, & Wolves thy Shepherds were; How didst thou then escape Deaths bloody hand? Another * Psal. 23. 4. shepherd which doth rule the Sphere, Did these fell shepherds wondrously withstand. Epig. 51. 〈◊〉 Du Bartas praise, and his Transsator. RIght well Du Bartas may we call thy name, For * God. D●… in Welch betokens more than Ma●…. So waist, I think, when thou thy Lays didst frame, Such Heaunly Muse sole Man could scarcely scan. And josuah thou that tookst this verse in hand To turn; for ere thy .. jos. 10. 13. sun of praise shall stand. Epig. 52. To wise Lusca I Wonder, Lusca, of thy foolish Pate, Which to thy husband hast so wise a Mate; He should have poured into thyself being One Linked to himself, some wisdom long agone. But, as I guess, thy head is farced so full With folly, that no lore can pierce thy scull. Epig. 53. To public Lata, alias, Wh. WHy do men call thee, Public? for I ween, What thou committest is not in Public seen. Epig. 54. On Fabius, to the Readers. THou didst resign thy Office, wot ye why? Because thou sayst thou heardst a Rat to Squeak: None would have wondered at thy foolery, In leaving it, if thou hadst hard her Speak. Epig. 55. Pilling and Poling, to Damon, and Damon. Dam HOw ist Comrade? we both profess the Law, Therefore we should in one yoke equal draw. Da: We do; but in the Manner we disjoin, I civil do, thou common dost Purloin. Da: No force, our Manners both shall Manors buy; Da: Why then I'll shave, and slay thou Equity. Epig. 56. To the most learned, and Heavenly Divine, Doctor Holland, Doctor of the Chair, lately Deceased. THy sacred Chair did oft from Earth thee Mount: No marvel; for of Earth thou nought didst count. Epig. 57 To Sir Hebe's, the 〈◊〉 Empiric. WHat difference 'twixt the Papists Unction, And thine? for both we see be quite extreme; No great; they use it when all help is gone, And thou hereby more killest then cursed, I deem. Epig. 58. To his loving friend Mr. je. Mayos, Preacher of God's Word. IN the Church primative, * Act. 4. 35. devoted men, Did lay their Treasures at the Apostles feet; But the Derivative, alas, since then, Allowance poor allots to Preachers meet. But like their brother Ananias, they, Yield their poor Pastors, but a :: Act. 5. 2. part of Pay. Epig. 59 To his friend R. Love.. Love oft is taken for blind Cupid's Game, So is alllove, that's only but in Name. Epig. 60. To the Illustrious L: Viscount de Lisle, brother to Noble Sir Phil. Sidney. THough not in Name unto thy brother dear, Yet thou in Nature art his worthy peer; His fame extolled, blazed forth his name, Thy name exalted, Trumpets loud thy fame. Epig. 61. To the worthy Maecenas of learning, Oliver, Lo: St. john, Baron of Bledso. WE Scholars may, St. john, thee style right well, Which gratis giv'st to a Ephes. 3. 8. Saints what others sell. Epig. 62. The Gilded Mile. IF that same Mile were farced full with Gold, That's Gilded called, for her smooth-silken face; Then would our Money Miners sure be bold Her path faire-superficies to deface. Then should she right her Gilded name forsake; And for the same a gauled name might take. Epig. 63. Ius, and jurista Robbing poor Luscus. Ius: HOw ist colleague? how goes Don-Luscus case? Iur: Clean backwarts; sans of Angels bright a brace Ius: These heavenly be, how then canst thou then have? Iur: Friend, thou mistak'st the earthly I do crave. Epig. 64. On Thrasc●…o, the kill Cow. I Meet percase Dell Thrasco at the shore, As he came fresh from Ireland's dismal war; I asked what news? He told me all, and more, How he himself did thousands kill, and scar. ay him believed, for he did bear about Whole multitudes of the * Pediculos. rebellious Rout. Epig. 65. To his loving friend Mr. R. Tho. a Spiritus, & Car●…. THese seem in peace to live in b Gal. 5. midst of war, So blind we judge when with c 2. Cor. 4. ourselves we jar. Epig 66. Britain's Burse. To the famous late Earl of Sarisburie. Full fraught with store shall be thy famous Burse, When p●…nilesse shall be the Miser's purse. Epig 67. To the ingenious Epigrammatists Io. owen's, and Io. Heath, both brought up in THough you were both not of one Mother bore, Yet nursed were you at the self same a New Coll. in Oxenford. breast: For fluent Genius, and ingenious lore, And the same Dugs successively have pressed. 'tis true ye are but Fosterers by birth, Yet brothers right in Rhymes conceiptfull mirth. Epig. 68 To Blincke, the Archer. CVpid is blind, yet never miss the white: But thou dost see, yet never shootest aright. Epig. 69. On frantic Fiscus. THe Proverb is, a Pecunia potest omnia. Dame Money can do All; It instigates the Thief to kill and steal. It Spurs the Merchant On, to Round the Ball Of this vast Orb, to'enrich his Commonweal. What can it not? It causeth us run mad, And Fiscus too, being therewith overclad. Epig. 70. The capering Cord. To thievish Lato, and Clownish Leto. WHat wouldst have done with that strong, halter Nick Which, Lato thought t'exchange for thy Gold Thou in it wouldst have shown a capering Trick, And stretch thy Neck in that Rack, long of old. But since thou scapest, give Lato's Cord again, His right, 'tis pity from him to detain. Epig. 71. On the Worldlings question. THe common question now a days doth pass, Not what she is▪ but what sweet Mopsa has. Epig. 72. One the Nativity of Q●…ne Elizabeth▪ borne ●…n the Eve of the Nativity of M●…. THy Virgin Birth upon a Virgin's Eve, Did true Presage thou shouldst a Virgin Live. Epig. 73. To our Navigators, seeking hear the Port of Rest. Ye Neptune's Plowmen, year clean astray, Which seek on Earth the Port of quiet Rest; Direct your course unto Olympus' Bay, This of all other Capes is sure the Best. But your calm sea must be the liquid Air, Your ships, your sails the wings not of Despair. Epig. 74. A pair Royal of Fiends: IF friendship true did ere in Bad ones stay, It did remain in Bengfield, Winchester, And Constable, three men of Hell's array, Which sought Elyza'in in her Prime to smother. I may not term these pair of Royal friends But rather pair of most disloyal fiends. Epig. 75. To his loving Cousin Mr Rees Myricke. THou shalt now light on many a complete fry, That will thee call, most loving Cousin, kind, Which never skilled it by arts Heraldry; ●…ake heed, this Cousin, may'st a cozener find. For judas-like he'll Hail thee with a kiss; And to betray, such Cheaters seldom miss. Epig. 76. On Fu●…ke, the Gor●…diser. To his Cousin Row: Vaughan, student in Physic. Physicians sav, all sickness doth proceed From o'er abundance, or Vacuity; Whereof, the first thou verifi'st in deed My Fuske, by gorging thy profundity. And 'fore that nature should a Vacuum grant Within thy Panch; Death-Surfeit thou wilt haunt, Epig. 77 On an Inn, Graced with the Flower-de-Luce. thouart bravely decked without, with Framnce fair Arms, But stained within with her most loathsome Harms. Epig. 78. Coytie Castle, and Radyr house exclaiming on Time. WOrld wasting Time, thou worker of our woes Thou keen edged razor of our famous name, That antique was but now oblivious grows, The subject almost of contempt and shame. Yet do thy worst, our names shall live for ay, Although our fame thou buried haste in Clay. Epig. 79. Alms Deeds. On Pinch-Peny, Tent. SOme Treasures cast into the poor man's Box, Some slender Mites according to their state; But thou didst never (Tent) once ope thy Locks, Thy Midas muck for to annihilate. But stuff'st his maw with Rounding for to eat, To still his cry, which did for coin entreat. Epig. 80 To the studious, and noble Gent Sir R. Sidney knight of the Bath. THe waters give thee Titles; but the earth Shall add great Trophies to thy greater Birth. Epig. 81. Lalus, and Lelius. LAlus presuming on a dram of Lore, Did Lelius daughter for his Mate implore. Tush Princock proud who scornfully replied, Think'st thou to have my Darling, for thy Bride? La: I am a Scholar, so I may grow great, And may hereafter sit in princely seat. Le: What dost profess? what is thy faculty? La: I study sacred deep Divinity. Le: Tut, what a Priest? a Tenant but for life? Pack hence thou getst not my joy for thy wife. La: Be patient Sir, let me win your good will, I am a Lawyer, full of Playdons' skill. Le: ist so? why then I'll instantly thee wive Unto my child, for thou art like to thrive. Epig. 82. On Prudentius, a Christian Poet. 'tIs not thy name makes thee deal prudently, But thy profession, Christianity. Epig. 83. To the most Rever in Christ. Francis: B. of Landaffe on his THough no Record shall Register thy fame, * Catalogue. Thine own Records enrowled have the same. Epig. 84. The Crab Tree. OF all the Trees, the Crab Tree, I think best; The Oak is strong great buildings to erect, The Fir Tree fair to frame thereof a chest, The Ewe most fit an arrow to direct) But this has in't a precious Balm to cure The poisoned stings which women's tongs procure. Epig. 85. On our fleering, fawning, treacherous Gnathoes. THe temp'rat Zones, as a 1. Meta. Naso testifies, Participate of heat, and cold commixed. Herein I think, he vents out truth, not lies; Because that many in these Climat's fixed, Do, as the Proverb saith, in either hand, Both carry Water, and a burning Brand. Epig. 86. On Golden Simony. To his dear affective Cousin, Mr. I. Pralpth. AT first, I know, our ghostly Simony, His name derived from Simon Magus, just, But now adays, I think it verily, It took his name from See-money accursed. Hereby Sir john gets him a living fat, That never knew the Latin for his hat. Epig. 87. Heaven's Diadem. To his fr. and familiar, W. Io. MOst wonder will to hear a beggar's brat Should have as good, as large an heritage, As the rich heir of some great Potentate, That whilom was, or is in this our Age. But so it is, the Heaven's hierarchy To Spade belongs, as well to Sceptre high. Epig. 88 Perkins cases, the Divine. THy sacred Cases conscionable be, And why not Fips because he nips the Fee. Epig. 89. To the most Rever. Father in Christ, Anth. B of St. David's. Of his learned conceits painted in his hall. SOme Pen conceips their engine sole to show, But thine do wit, and sacred Lore contain: Which though domestic be, for private view, Thy fame to publish yet, they do pertain. If any question why they secret lie, I say because the Pencil cannot fly. Epig. 90. On his Brother buried in Zealand. WHat though thy corpse, as is the a Gen. 49. 33. custom old, With thy forefathers doth not lie engraved? I trust thy sonte with theirs be safe enrolled Within the b Apoc. 〈◊〉. Book of life, most certain saved. Epig. 91. To the hypocritical Papist, wearing the Gospel of Saint john about his neck. THou well this Book about thy neck may'st wear: For, this, I know thy heart it comes not near. Epig. 92. To his cordial fr. Mr. Moor Fortune, heretofore a Traveller. Of Virginia. THe Natural a Ex lib. Aug. Nau. Virginianist's believe, All creatures, both visible, unseen; That were, or shall, or do on earth now live, To be composed of light water green. A light belief, more light than is the water; To deem that all was made of such a matter. Epig. 93. In ●…edio virtus. To his friend Rich. johnes. Virtue they say 'twixt two extremes doth stand, To separate Superlatives in ill: Which true we find in Brodefoord with her Strand, That parts Lauryddian, against Lanellies will. Else sure the bibbers of these famous Towns, Would meet full oft to crack their giddy crowns. Epig. 94. To the learned, honest, and Pious Gent. Mr. Th. Leysons, Physician; of the Baths. YOur Baths partake of waters cold, hot too, A wonder 'twere, but that they wonders do. Epig. 95. On the Orchadians with their Bestial fellowship. IT ill befits for Man and beast to lie I●… oneself room without partitions shreene; Which the Orchadians hereof testifies. 〈◊〉 match ill made together as I ween. Unless it be for love of buggery, The worst of kind with beasts to multiply. Epig. 96. To the Censurers of these vulgar Poesies, Epigrams. SOme carping Critics doubtless will aver, This kind of rhyme to have a common hue, And therefore harsh, because it doth infer No novel form; like to the fashion new; No marvel, for it is the world's true guise, The new to love the ancient to despise, Epig. 97. To ingenious Ben. johnson. IF that thy Lore were equal to thy wit: Thou in Apollo's chair mightst justly sit. Epig. 98. The Tra●…ller, COsting Catita, 'twas my chance to meet Alumnus poor, whom kindly I did greet: And asked what news? who, sighing, did impart, Which to unlace, said he, torments my heart. But hoping, friend thou wilt condole with me: I will unfold what I too common see. The underling in Church, and Commonweal, Must travail, trudge, of bondage the vive seal; And when his sorry salary would game, He oft receives his labour for his pain. The Poor Pedant, who lives a servile life, Which ever toils, turmoils in endless strife; Must be to all, yea to the Clown a Slave, And for his own, with cap and knee must crave. The needy student wanting means to live, Detesting by the former ways to thrive: The Ocean furrows, being quite out of hope, And either serves fierce Mavors, or the Pope. Alas, quoth I, is this the best reward? That good deserts reaps in this fertile soil? Yes certs, said he, but for the soul's regard, 'Twere better far at the Plow's tail to toil. Epig. 99 To long Meg of Westminster. ALl called thee, long Meg, true; they did not miss; If broad Meg too, they had not failed, I ●…is. Epig. 100 To the kind Reader, of the Censure of my Book. SOme will, no doubt, thee ask of this my Book, Withered be good; perhaps thou'lt say; so, so. Thy judgement give not so, I pray thee, look: But hereof rather answer him; no no. Then i'll be sure to shun each curious fry: That nought but faults in Writings can espy. The end of the first Centurie. Patere, aut Abstine. THE SECOND century. Epig. 1. To his worthy Ho: Patroness, Catherine, Lady Mansell. THy splendent name, I do not know right well, Or blazed fame, in praise doth most excel; But both unite, and both shall equal be, Such is thy praise, sans partiality. Epig. 2. On our vulgar Pie-Poets. To the Readers. AN Epigram, I grant is common grown, Squised out of Cobblers, Tinkers, base of Trade; (Whereby of yore the learned well was known, Whose warbling songs was not by Cooper's made.) Such sordid stuff we should cast of in haste, And will Sr. Suitor not to pass his Last. a Ne Suitor ultra cripidam. Epig. 3. To the learned Divine Mr. Francis Sidney. SOme of thy name do brave Trill Pallas Lance; And thou most grave her Laurel dost advance. Epig. 4. On the Merciless Niggard. To his decree Cousin, Edm. Basset. THe Base we see do commonly admire, And high esteem the Baslings of this Earth: As Silver Gold, Brass, Iron Led, and Wire, So that if famine falls, or pining Dearth, Scarce will they spare, yea to themselves one crumb, Much less to Others, to their Doors which come. Epig. 5. To his lo: friend Mr. M. Hopkins. WIth doleful sighs right well may we compare, The Levite's living pared on either side; By greedy Patron thence which culls his share, And Dunstus dumb, in learning little tried: Unto the Cheese, which Banbury doth yield, Which looks most poor, on both sides cleanly peeled. Epig. 6. The Naturalised Dutchman. To his kind Comrade, and lo: Cousin, Mr. William Hughes. WE say, one fault mars sums good qualities; But Contrary in the right Fleming borne, One Good'mends all his superfluities Of bad conditions, to be ere forlorn: His Bibbing, Rashues, Mercenary fight; But worthre praise, for a A pure Protestant. serving God aright. Epig 7. On the worldling's Avarice. To his lo: friend Mr. Io: Roberts, alaborious Preacher of God's Word. THe faithful Abr'am for his Heritage Did rest content with promise of a Land: Whereto the faithless Bastards of our Age, Words nought avail without performance-Band. Yet see the difference 'twixt the Sons, and Sire, He Heaven gate, base Earth they sole Desire. Epig. 8. Agriculture. To his lo: friend Io G. LIke Nero, many do enbowell deep Their Mother Earth, for White and yellow Mine: And others do into Her concaves creep Like Pluto's swart, dark coals to dig that shine. But thou art far more Natural than They, Which dost but, Raze thy Mother's face of Clay. Epig. 9 To one, declining under the yoke of Affliction. WHat though thy coffers be not stuffed hard With Caesar's crosses, all of beaten gold: And all the crosses of the Popes be bard Thy house; yet faint not; but be ever bold. For thou hast had those crosses, that exceed far these; which be Christ's crosses, best in deed. Epig. 10. a Babylon Metamorphosed. To his lo friend Mr. Math. Bennet. THou boastest proud, that thou dost rule as a Apoc. 18. 7. Queen, Thou art mistake, 'tis rather like a b Apoc. 18. 9 Queen. a Epig. 11. On Sir Phill. Sidneys Arcadia. THy works are worthy praise, and why, I pray? Because that none can these dispraise, I say. Epig. 12. To his lo: friend Mr. M Hop: for the loan of Dod, and cleaver on the Decalogue. DOd with his Cleaver cleaves the stony rock Of our hard hearts through their laborious pain: And plains the way most plain for Christ his flock, That leads o'er hills to the celestial plain. These pair of friends with thanks I send again, Though two in Name, in Nature yet not twain. Epig. 13. On the monstrous sin of Drunkenness. THat a S●… de Tranquil. ●…im. stoical sage did drunkenness prescribe A salve most sure unto a quiet mind; Which spewing potion most of every Tribe, Now takes, which works most bravely, as we find. It causeth vomits, doth phlebotomize, And more, the dumb doth cause to Rhetorize. Epig. 14. To the hopeful, and courteous Courtier, young St. Edw. Lewis. THe Court, thy Name may better, I confess: But not thy Nature, less I miss to guess. Epig. 15. Worm'shead. To his approved good fr. T. Rog. A Rock there is that 〈◊〉 shed has to name, Within whose Concaves, fish, and fowl do br●…ed: A wonder strange, which merits blazing fame, That stones, the self same Rock, and eke indeed At the same time, the feathered bird, the fish Should feed, and staunch their appetites at wish. Epig. 16. Christ, and Apollo. To Physicians. BOth, sores of soul and body Christ doth cure. Which cannot Synthius, which you say is sure A God; and a Mat. 19 26. God, they say, can all effect, But certs, I think, your God has this defect. Epig. 17. On curious questionists. To his lo: fr. Har: johnes. TOo many are of curious Questionists, That proud demands what God himself did frame, before a'framed the World wherein consists All Creatures that both Savage be, and tame. Which cannot yet their Pater noster say, Unless perhaps in Latin clean astray. Epig. 18. To his lo: fr: Mr. W. Awbrey, an ingenious A●…agr▪ matist, late turned a Minister. I●… that the Censure of the Gabalists 〈◊〉 true, which saith their lies in each man's name By the inversion of Hieroglyphists, His fatal fortunes, or his blazed fame. Which in thy name thou didst, I think out find When to that sacred coat thou gav'st thy mind. Epig. 19 Pengwin, the eight wonder of the World. To ●…s Cousin Rees Griffith a Peregrinator. THe universe, as we may read, contains But only seven wonders, strange and rare; The eight, to make the number e'en, remains, Which Disticke-wise, herein I will declare. This is a Bird, that Pengwin has to name, Which never slew, and yet was never tame. Epig. 20. To the cour●…us Ge●…. M. Arth. Mansell. AS thou art Arthur excellent in Name, In Nature to, I wish thee eke the same. Epig. 21. The I'll of the Crosse. I Guess, a Exilih. Munst. Cosm. Columbus gave that fitting name To that same Clime, which he calls Crucis Isle; Because there Cannibals without all shame, Do eat men's flesh, which they to them beguile. Which first they fix unto a Crux to feed, Like to an Ox, being fat they cause to bleed. Epig. 22. On curious Damaetas. To his Cousin H. Tho. studious in the Bible. TH' ignorant in this our curious Age, Or little less, some Ass of shallow reach, Will seem to prate in mysteries deep, and sage; The greatest Clerks which vex, that write, or preach And if you tell him, a Mat. 10. do this thou shalt live, 'Tis nought, unless unto the depth you dive. Epig. 23. jesus College in Oxford, speaking to King James. ALL things, a Arist. 1 Eth. they say, do wish a perfect end, I being unperfect, do eke wish the same, Thy Royal hand my ragged walls can mend, And perfect that what Priscious e'en began. An easier task, to join four corner stones In me, then link in one four Nations. Epig. 24. Mors, Sceptra ligonibus equat. Alluding to the death of the most renowned H. Frederick, Prince of Wales. OFatall death, can none escape thy Dart? O ghastly Ghost, must all obey thy Hest? Must Princes, as the beggar feel thy smart? Must great ones die, sans mercy, as the least? Henry was young, therefore thou mightst him spare; Henry was sage, then shouldst his life prolong: Henry was war like touch him how couldst dare? Henry was learned, death thou hast us wrong. mavors farewell, and learned Mercury, Since Henry left too soon our company. Epig. 25. To the most famous, and Heroic Lady, Mary, L. Wroth. THy worthy husband Ladifies thee Wroth, Pray be not so with my poor pen, to place 'Fore R the O; then justly Lady Worth I might thee style, worth what? high honour's Grace. Epig. 26. The ᵃ Canaries. THose Isles were wont to be called fortunate, Have now their names Canaries, for the Curs That breed therein (a Metamorphosed state, And strange) which thinks her blessed for beastly Burrs. But Britain's Isle should certaine more be blest, If with mad dogs she were the lesser pressed, Epig. 27. Goddess Fortune. TH' unfortunate denominates his name And fortunate also, from fortune blind: In Polycrates, and Ulysses' fame, Her constancy unconstantly we find. Th' one she ever crossed by Sea and land, Th' other blest with her unblisfull hand. Epig. 28. Hispana, in Hispanos. HIspana I'll, has in't a wonder rare, Which Serpents be without all poison strong; And do not hurt (as a Ex Munst Cosm. stories do declare) Th' Inhabitants, which do dwell them among; Which should teach those that conquered first the I'll, To shun to kill, through veno●…'s poisoned guile. Epig. 29. On Terhernes' Sepulture. TErherne thou li'est entered within the grave, Of a blind Monk, in those days counted wise, And thou a fool; a Sepulture most brave, Which doth the idiot, and the Sage comprise. Yet, thou a fool to greater Bliss mayst rise, Then the blind Monk, that was esteemed wise. Epig. 30. On the feminine Supremacy. I Often heard, but never read till now. That Womenkind the Codpieces did wear; But in those Isles, the men to women bow, Which do their names of a Ex lib. Navig. Aug. male, and female bear. I should therefore the woman judge to be The vessel strongest, but b 1 Cor. 7. 3. Paul denies it me. Epig. 31. To the right worshipful and most courteous knight, Sir Lewis Mansel, of his he: a marriage, THe Porcupine, with lance's sharp, and keen, Doth now not seek to pierce the Fawchi'on fair, Nor is the Fawchi'on against the Griffon seen To ●…y, but joys as friends, a Royal pair. What is the cause of this their league? thy a love, Which doth the birds, that's strange, to union move. Epig. 32. On Cottulus the unconstant Professor. Unconstant Cottulus, which primly waste, Preciscian like, most curious of thy life: But thou that faction thou hast overpast, And turned a Papist, seeds man full of strife, I wonder, what thou thirdly wilt Profess, Chameleon-like, a Neuter, as I guess. Epig. 33. To his Antiquious Academian friend Mr. William je. THe Swan, they say, doth sing before he die; But thine, I wis, did mourn most dolefully. Epig. 34. On the beloved Gossips, Laena, and Larga. Lae. WHy wilt not Larga, Marry Mr. Steere? A p●…oper man, & wise, no Meacocks Gul: La: I tell thee why, I hate a castred Fere, ●…nd rather choose my Suitor, Master Bull. Epig. 35. The Picture of a Paramour. MOst pretty Love, of all our Loves, which lovest Never to feed on one sole dainty dish; But many more dost taste, and often pronest, Through sweat of Body, and a lovely kiss. Thou ever lov'st variety of cares, Which honest Vesta and Maechaon hates. Epig. 36. To the ghastly Ghost of Terherne. SOme are, which have grown famous by their lore, By dint of sword, and eke by prudency; But thou (Terherne) renowned waist of yore, For a pure fool, and natural foolery. But here's the difference 'twixt your printed fame, Theirs, for their wit, and thine, of folly, came. Epig. 37. Cord Franke. Of the Knights of St. Denis Bathe, I Wonder why men did thee nominate Coed Frank, in Antique Britain's copious Tongue; Unless thou got'st it through the Frenchman's fate, The gallian grief, which blasted thee along. If it be so, let fleshmen learn by thee To shun the Pox which burns the very tree. Epig. 38. Of the lamentable Deaths, of H. 3. and H. 4. the French kings, murdered by a brace of Friars. IF a Gen. 49. 5. patriarchs twain, in Holy Writ be named b Gen. 34. 5. Brethren in evil for revenging wrong; Then may those Brace of Friars well be blamed, (Which burns sans Mercy, amongst the Hellish throng) For doubtless they were brethren in ill, Which trat'rously France Royal blood did Spill. Epig. 39 To his Sickly friend. STore is no sore, the Proverb verifies; Which thou findest false, in store of Maladies. Epig. 40. To Reverend vida, the filching Preacher. GOds zeal, (most zealous vida,) Prelate grave, Did eat thee up, while that the borrowed oil Of others Lamps, did furnish thee most brave, With Budget Lore, to keep a Preaching coil. What means thy silence? Sure the oil is out, And being thrust from Mice chair, art Mute. Epig. 41. To plain Io. the versificator. WHat kind of Poem's thine, I thee beseech? No witty one, therefore a witless speech. Epig. 42. To Battus, the Cat●…chiser. MAgister Battus of the A. B C. I do commend thy conscience for to teach Thy Punies Raw, without reward or fee; Th'wilt serve to catechise, but ill to preach. Whereas thou dost thy pupils teach for nought, Right well thou mayst, thy Lore deserves not aught. Epig. 43. On Mistress Wagtail. THy gadding head, my pretty Mysa sweet, Did cause thy tail to be most wagging still; Herein we see both head, and tail do meet Thy lust ne'er satiate seeking to fulfil. 'Twas not thy Head that did thy Tail inflame, But 'twas thy Tail, that did thy Head defame. Epig. 44. Lex Taliovis, on Rot, the Tyrant. PRoud cruel Rot, which now dost rot in grave, That ere waste wont to tread on poor men's necks And force the harmless Gull to be a Slave, Unto thy Threats, and eke commanding checks. These all requite thee now with Talio's Law. And on thy Head do trample without Awe. Epig 45. The Cacademons' Epitaph. H●…ere Batcocke lies, a Cock too Bad by kind, Which ever waked his Prentices to play At Cards, he had a zealous mind, For them he bore instead of Books to pray. Which being dead, a pair of Cards was found Under his head, to play with under ground. Epig. 46. Socrates. THou Socrates the wisest Sage foretold, That was on each, while that on earth thou breth'st Waste not so wise yet, for to choose that Scold, To be thy wife; thou wisdom herein leav'st. Unless it were thy patience, for to try, If so, our days yields thee many a fry. Epig. 47. To his honest kind friend Mr. Edw. Andrew's, of the Epithit, Honest. HOnest, a word, I swear an adjective, For now a days, it little stands in steed: But he that to the Depth of Crafts can dive, He is the Wiseman that doth now exceed. Epig. 48. An Anothomie for Husbandry. Pattern for Husbands, Choke thou art of right, Which dost not choke thy good seed with the Thorns Of worldly care to be a Miser hight, Thy lands brings better fruit, then wild Acorns. This shining candle of thy husbandry, Under a Bushel doth not hidden lie. Epig. 49. To the worthy and famous Earl of Nottingham, high Admiral of England. GReat number do on the firm land bear sway, These thou excell'st, thou mak'st the Sea obey. Epig. 50. The Flushing fray. To his Couser, Lieutenant je, Watkins. THe Flemings fight is reasonable, yea; Being a drunk. reasonless, he'll but or stick, or snee. Epig. 51. Omnium rerum vicissitudo est. Master, Messenger. Ma: WHat's thy name? Messenger? for what I pray? Me: 'tis Master kind, for your dear love, I say. Ma: Tush, I do hate, detest thy lawless bed, Me: You may help that, if you do me but wed. Ma: Fie 'tis not fit for females for to sue; Me. Tut, let's conjoin, it is the fashion new. Epig. 96. Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur. To trusty M. Gage. THou faithful Gage, that wast a gage indeed. For loyalty, and eke for service true, (Unto that famous a Qucene Elizabeth. Prince by God decreed To Quell the Pope, Religion pure to show) In her distress; which few of thin own name, To thy pure faith, themselves do wholly frame. Epig 53. To the fair faced Margaret. WHat odds 'twixt Margarit, a precious pearl, And Margaret, a sweet and peerless Girl. No odds I see, for we must buy the one, And Gratis thee, I think possess shall none. Epig. 54. The voluble wheel of Fortune. To the intern friend monsieur High, and Mr. Low. Lo: THou clim'st the wheel of fortune monsieur Hit And gapest for glory, and preferment great; Hie. True Mr. Low, and thou as fast dost fly, And low descend'st from fortunes highest seat Despair not yet if fortune, a unconstant. fortune be, She may thy name appropriate unto me. Epig. 55. To the worthy Gent. Mr. Rawley Bussie, involving the earthly Globe, & tossing of the Tents ball, most expert. THy solace is to volve the Orbicke ball Of this round earth, and eke this Tennis Pile; Th' one in sporting, which we pastime call, Th' other, when thy fluent Muse dost file. Epig. 56. To Mistress Lightfoot. I Chanced, as once I travailed to o'ertake One Mistress Quick, being foundered, making moan: I asked, what did her pace so halting make, I did my foot quoth she, hurt against a stone. 'tis nothing so, said I, kind Mistress Quick, Your grief I take, came rather of a prick. Epig. 57 Uincit qui patitur. To his lo fr. Rich. Gibons, a Teacher. IF any wish his patience for to try, Let him, but practise sole thy Ministry. Epig. 58. To his fragile firtree staff. THe Proverb se's, 'tis better for to bow Then for to break, a note of gentleness; But thou, my prop, dost scorn to stoop so low As bend, a sign, seest thou of basefulnesse. But break with'lt rather (my most brittle Tree) Yet do not so, I prithee, under me. Epig. 59 On Stephen, the bloody Persecutor. GOod gardiner's do use for to supplant Their bad grown weeds, their fruitful herbs to save; But Gardener thou the a flower of Troynovant, Didst think to weed, and bury in her grave. To heaven's Reapers, far unlike wast thou, To weed the wheat, and let the a Mat. 13. 28. Ever grow. Epig. 60. To the worthy Knight, Sr Ro. Wroth, of his house called Durnnce. THy Durance keeps in durance none, I hear, ‛ Less be to partake of thy a A famous housekeeper. bounteous cheer. Epig. 61. On our Popish fugitives. THey say, o'refasting doth procure a pain, (Virtigo hight) the turning of the head: Which true we find in male contents most plain, When of preferments long they have not sped. And a Ex E●…seb. Arrius like, which missed his Bishopric, Th'ill change their faith, and show a Popish trick. Epig. 62. Mother B's Tranflation. GOode'n, most antique, zealous mother B, This salutation well befits your age: For while you live, a vestal you decree To be, and shun the toys of Pupillage. And as of old, on Beds you loved to play: So now on Beads you wholly like to pray. Epig. 63. * Licentia Poetica. To the carping Critic. IVdge not so hard, that Poets still do lie, For what they write, 'tis ' llowed by Liberty. Epig. 64. On the Pope's Holiness. THe Romish Canons shamelessly aver, Their holy Father, God, nor man to be; What is he then? if that, I do not err, he's no Angel, of heaven's Hierarchy. Unless be a 2 C●…, 11. 14. Him, that puts on every Hue For to deceive, and this, I think, is true. Epig. 65. To the Paracelfian Empricke. IF all the World were like to Socrates, That never stood in need of Phsicks' hand; How then couldst live, if this thy art should cease, Poor jack, in this, or any other Land? Wouldst thou thenbe a grave Sr. john by skill? So, sure more souls, than bodies wouldst thou kill. Epig. 66. Of H. 1 King of England, whose envenomed brain, being dead, killed his own Physician. WHat men alive, being sick, would oft fulfil, Thou being a Ex lo Stowe. Chron. dead didst thy Physician kill. Epig. 67. To Mr. Monoculus, the sagittary. WHat dire mishap befell you monsieur Blinck? That you have lost your most respected eye: You tell me, tush, you shall the better wink To hit the mark, and l●…t the arrow fly. ist so? your shot ●…I guess, will be far wide, When that you shut the other eye beside. Epig. 68 To Zantippa the Scold. WHat marry muff, what makes thee sweet of hue And sour of speech, most bitter, waspish, bad? I think, thou art a most detested shrew; Or with the Ague, or burnt fever clad. Which ever fills thy tongue most full of Gaul, To all distasteful, but to ban, and brawl. Epig. 69. The Epitaph of his dearly beloved Schoolmaster, Mr. W. Edward's. HEre lies the picture of pure honesty. Here lies, the sire of many a learned Son, Here lies, the zeal of Christianity, Here lies, the Patron of Religion. Here lies, that man, whose life was naught to none, Here lies, that friend, whom young and old bemoan. Epig. 70. To Rome, with her Romish brood. Paul a 1 Tim. 23. saith, a Bishop should a husband be Of one wife, for to live a sober life; But the great Bishop, of the highest degree, Will have his Bishops for to have no wife. I wonder how from all he cuts this band? theyare either eunuchs, or play under hand. Epig. 71. To Gill: the fingering Lawyer, and ambodexter. WHat makes thee, Gill, the perfect use to have, As well of left, as of thy right hand fair? Thou Galen-like wilt answer very grave, 'Tis o'remuch heat that doth from heart repair. I think not so, but thy poor Client's gold Makes thee to be an Ambidexter bold. Epig. 72. A new formo of finding out Petigrees To Don Stolidus. MY upstart Gull, that wouldst right noble be In Royal blood (thy labour quite is vain In volving books of old Antiquity For thy base line, not worth thereof the pain) B' advised by me, open thou an old made Grave; There thou thy first Genologie shalt have. Epig. 73. Tom of Christ Church in Oxford. To our ceremonious Papists. THe clapping sound of Antichristian Bells, They say, expels from them their airy Ghosts: So, Tom thy sound which all thy mates excels, Doth thine Oxonians cause to fly their Hosts. But if thy sound could sound as far as Spain, Their body's Ghosts, I think, would them refrain. Epig. 74. God, and the Pope. THe sacred Scripture doth for truth record, a Mat. 22. 32. That God is only of the living God, And of the dead, he claims to be no Lord; But father Pope recalleth with a nod They say the dead, from Purgatories grief; theyare dead in sin, that makes this their belief, Epig. 75. To glorious Mopsa, of her stolen feathers. WHy Mistress Noll, dost thou Adulterate (From others Royal lines, thyself to grace) Their noble birth, and titles high of state? That waist at first but poor, obscure and base. If each should pluck from thy patched Pedigree His feathers of, right Aesop's jay mightst be. Epig. 76. On Cornutus, the Monster. To his lo: friend Wil: Arne. OF all wild Birds, I loath the monstrous Batte, Which is a bird, and eke a filthy beast; But of tame birds, I do most deadly hate, That's man in shape, yet hath a Beastlike crest. Which of these Monsters dost abhor the more? I think the tame, that with his Horns doth Gore. Epig. 77. To Boorish Petita. THe Latin a Quaevis terra alit artem. proverb doth for truth relate, That every land doth Arts divine embrace: Which every where most true, I estimate, But in Petita, amongst that Rustic Race. Which studies nought, but most the crooked Law; And will effect no goodness, but for Aw. Epig 78. To his Cousin, Lieutenant William Watkins, of Flushings Situation. WHere Flushing stands, the walkers Isle, 'twas well So nemed for in't walks many a Sentinel. Epig. 79. On Nic: Herbert's Posy, (I'll y Kymero. To his worthy Son Mr. Will: Herbert. Thy (I'll y Kymero) did well Sympathise, (Right worthy Nich'las') with thy noble mind: For where thou took'st, thou didst not temporize, But all thy friends did a sure Friend thee find. Thou wast not like the glossers of our Age, Which disagree most from their Posies Sage. Epig. 80. To the right Reverend Father, Io: King, Bishop of London, a most persuasive Preacher. WHat though thy hand doth not the Sceptre sway, Thy tongue doth cause full many to obey. Epig. 81. Tobacco. To his respective good friend Mr. M Cradocke. THe mayor part of our Tobacchonists, Take's sole the shadow of this smoky weed: But thou hereof contrary often whift's The substance all of this prodigious Reed. I grant the substance doth the shadow pafse In all besides; save in this Indian Grass. Epig. 82. A pair Royal of Clerks. To his frtend Tho: Prichard. THree sorts there be, which Clerks be called by nam●… The first of right is the superlative, The Bible Clerk, that doth expound the same; The next in Rank is the Comparative, The Pen and Inkhorn Clerk; that bandeth men; The third, the positive, that cries, Amen. But proud comparisons were odious far, 'Twixt these same Clerks, for their Scholarity; Yet my brave Scribe will make no bones to jar, Yea with the best, in case of felony. But poor Dingdong will not offend his sire, For fear to lose his small collected hire. Epig. 83. Of the Ambitious. To his cousin Io: Vaughan of his fall from a Wor●…eshead. SOme fall, whose falling doth their Deaths procure, Thy fall was great yet doth thy life remain; The odds is, they themselves to climb inure, And sithence, thou from climbing dost refrain. Epig. 84. To Sir Humphrey the Recorder. THou Humphrey ke'pst a calendar most straight Of others faulrs, by Word, or Deed, ere sure; But near I think, most hateful, careless weight, Keepest true account of thine own Crimes unpure. I deem thou couldst not, cause they did surmount The'others' slips, which thou so nigh didst count. Epig. 85. To Morus, the Baldepate. GOod Mr. More, what made your pate be bawl? You say, you were borne under Venus' star, Whose Constellation made your hair to fall, And eke the credit of your crown to mar. But, as I cast, of this your great mishap, You lulled were rather upon Venus' lap. Epig. 86 Cupid the blind God. To his lo: friend Mr. William Williams. WHy is't that Poets style the but a boy? Since that thou art a thousand years of age; No marvel, for thy a Senes his pueri. dotage love, thy ●…oy, With childish youth doth even equipage. Epig. 87. To Caecus, the painful Preacher, of our Dumb Dogs. THou seest not yet makest other see Their heinous sins, through thy laborious pain: When Linx-eied Drones, which ever idle be, With taking pains do never one soul gain. Thy sight, their livings eke, I wish to thee, So that thou wouldst then not idle be. Epig. 88 To his loving friend Io: Spencer, skilful in Arith meticke, of monsieur Mutilus. THy numbering art the plural number loves, And doth cashier the singular, as none: But Mutilus, Grammarian-like stout proves The singular; as Lapis, his sole stone. Epig. 89. On bibbing Belgieus. To his cousin Io: Watkins Ensign bearer. FLemmingo useth after every whiff, His kind Comrade to take fast by the hand: He se's, it is to show his kindness rife, But 'tis, I guess, because he cannot stand. Epig. 90. On Del Lucifer. To his friend Mr. Edw. Robinson, Cler. What though Superbus from the Dunghill crept, Thy holy function scorns with open throat: Yet be content, forgive and eke forget, Sith Christ himself did dignify thy coat. Yet suffer Cynic, when that he is dead, To Hearse him, where the Cuckoo first was bred. Epig. 8. The Imperative Mood. To my Lady Myso. I Wonder greatly what thy Mood should be, Indicative? no, that doth reason show, But thine is mad; nor subjunctive I see, That should depend sole on thy husband true. But thine, sans doubt, is the Imperative, Which makes thee daily with thy Mate to strive. Epig 92. To the ingenious Poet, Mr. William Herbert of his book entitled the Prophecy of Cadwallader. THy Royal Prophecy doth blaze thy name. So Poets must, if they will merit fame. Epig. 93. To the snarling censurer. REader, perhaps thou wilt my Muse dispraise Of Barrenness, which was a curse of yore; It is not so, note thou her father's days, A youngling, able to beget yet more. If idle, vain, thou deem it, and unfit: An idle vain becomes a childish wit. Epig. 94. On Moneanus, the Bibber. To his loving friend Mr. William Thomas. THy Nectar, Quondam, was but whiggin small, Alias sowrew hay, how is't that nought but wine Thy slippery palate now doth taste at all? That ne'er was Pressed in Bo●…eas freezing clime. No marvel, for thy body is so bet With cold, which thou dost seek with Ale to Heat. Epig. 95. On Simon Magus, Roman, To his lo. fr. and familiar, M. I. Vaughan GOd gratis gives his Grace most liberally, But man will not without a Simons fee. Which was the cause, as far as I perceive, T●…at caused thee sweet Oxford for to leave. Epig. 96. On Lukewarm love. To his lo. and approved good Cousin Mr. Edw Gamage. Love now adays is neither hot, nor cold, Th'wilt ask me then, what is't? I say lukewarm; Why then 'tis Bet, thou seest, then that of old, O, no, this warm has in't the greater harm. Epig. 97. Tempus edax rerum, To the learned Historian, his lo. friend, Mr. W. Meyricke. TIme doth in time they say, all things devour, And eke forgets each learned Mercury, Save the Historian, only times fresh flowré, Which never fad's, much less doth ever die. For't cannot be that time can blot his name, Which doth of time Records most antique frame. Epig. 98. On Iudeas the Usurer. To his loving Cousin john straddling. WHat makes that Beggars in thy neighbourhood, Poor silly wtetches, numberless to swarm? 'tis not I ween, for thy devotion good; But rather 'tis for thy purlonging harm. Which sufferest vone to thrive that lives at hand; But begger'st all, by purchasing their land. Epig. 99 To the Readers of his Epigrams. IN the Pope's tongue I list not to indite: Cause of my time all men should have the sight. Epig. 100 To the Printer, of Detractors. THe Captain press the Soldier to repel The furious force of foeman's cruel hand: So dost thou Press some papers, that excel, Yet must they cankered tongues of men withstand. A wonder 'tis, the tongue for the hand, right Should war; no force, 'tis but a woman's fight. The end of the second Centurie. Patere aut Abstine. Disce aut Discede. W. G. FORLORN HOPE, Sailing, and Salling forth, under the dusky Colours of the envious universe. Epig. 1. MArch forward, Muse thy Patroness is great, And if she prove as good, I fear no ill. But spac'ious fields has Ta●…es as well as wheat, Besides the Dolphin, Sea has Crocodill. If one Mecaene yet, under Heaven's Cope Thou findest; thouart not a quite forlorn hope. Epig. 2. On Tricongius, who was made by Consul Tiberius Caesar, only for his Drinking. IF that our Bibbers now a days, should have As large a Guerdon, as thou hadst of yore; I think we should, of every Tankard slave, Great Magistrates, then private men, have more. Epig. 3. On conscionable Surdaster. THouse'st, that all thy hearing thou hast lost, That's true; withal, I think, thy feeling too; How then canst live? fo●… this maintaineth most Within us life, as often read we do; And yet thou livest tho quite without remorse, So, many do, to sin that nothing force. Epig. 4. On Lollus lofty Tomb. WHat made thee build thy statue eu'n'so high? Whereas thy stature low on ground did lie? This was to grace a stupid, liveless stone More than thyself; 'twas well, for thou hadst none. Epig. 5. On Cherillus the Poet. PAn is not dead, since Pas began to sing. Who all excels in consorts jarring string. Epig 6. To his loving, and beloved Cousin, M. I. Pralph Cler. of the Sager, a Hill situated in parish, apud Heref. MOses, before the heavenly Canan saw, Did first ascend the top of a Vlt. Deut. Nebo's Mount; Where from he might a vive description draw Of ●…hly Canan, the first's Type in compte. So mayst thou climb to Sager's lofty Hill, And Canan view as 'twere, a pleasant plain; To meditate of heavenly Canan 'twill Thee instigate assured, as I fain. Use to ascend this hill most pleasant, high: So, Heaven on earth thou may'st see, ye●… thou die. Epig. 7. Nusquamtuta fides. To Firmus, The Chameleon. I Wonder, Firmus, why thy faith is frail To some? whose name approves a constancy; 'tis certs, because they be not head, and tail Thine; both in falsehood, as in verity. Epig. 8. To the Holy Well, on Mawverne Hill. WE often read that Miracles have ceased, Which otherwise seems by thy golden fame, (Blazed far and wide: almost to East and West) Which curest all, the ulcerous, blind, and lame. These miracles, God grant, they be not Mould In the Pope's forge; as Counterfeits of old. Epig. 9 To Mr. Heaven of Heaven, in the County of Heref. THou happy seem'st, two Heavens which possessed, Thy dwelling one, the other is thy name; Strive to enjoy, (and sure thou shalt be blest) The third, which was that a a 2 Cor. 12 4. Saints, of greatest fame. Epig. 10. To the Ministers of God's Word. THis * Decimae Minutae. phrase you use for your small Tithes by rat●…: And for your greater too, you may use that, Epig 11. On Cressa's feminine flattery. PErfidious wretch what made thee crack thy faith? Which once thou vow'st for to observe and keep: But that is true, which the old Proverb saith, Beware a woman when she 'gins to weep. Epig. 12. On a Acts 13. 6, Bariefus, the Magician, and his Sectaries THy hateful name agrees with thy black art; Who v●…'s it, bar●…'s quite jesus from his hart. Epig. 13. On the whore in Grain, Helen of Greece. ONe stain, we read, did stain thy sunny face; But thy stained life, thy corpse did more disgrace. This one spot did not more, thy sweet face mar, Then thy lust Ilium did; in Trojan war. Think not therefore it shame to have a stain: But count it shame, to be a whore in Grain. Epig. 14. To his lo. fr. M. W. Galloway, an Irish Gent. a student at Gray's Inn, of his fortunate escape of shipwreck at Gorwer'sland. THe drowning waters, and the burning fire, Are elements, sans mercy, as we say; Whose foamers fo●…ing rage, thou didst admire, When shipwreck thou sustaind'st in a a pro rossilie. Sillies' Bay: Yet merciful was Neptune's God to thee, Which Seld is cruel to Scholarity. Epig. 15. Blind affections picture. To Dunce the Peasant. WHat makes thee, Dance, Dick Truncus to commend? Of no Deserts a Boor, a Corydon; Thou sayest, because he is thy worship's friend, And, whom the current of thy love runs on. But wherefore dost Nick L●…s. so dispraise? A Gentleman of fashion, and of sort. Forsooth, thou sayst, thou canst not brook his way His comely carriage, or his seemly port. See then affection, whether good or ill: Laud's or defames according to his will. Epig. 16 The Epitaph of Sir Will: Herbert of Swansey. To his right H●…: brother Sir john Herbert second Secretary of State. IF homebred knowledge, or yet foreign skill, If sundry tongues, or Physics Princely art, If noble carriage, eloquence at will, Could thee have kept from Death's pale-Ebone dart, Thou yet hast lived, a glory to thy name, The poor man's prop, and eke thy country's fame. Epig. 17. To our wise British Bard, Mr. W. Matthew, Esquire; for wit, and judgement excellent. I Wot not which thy outward sense, thy ear, Or inward else, thy brain, doth most excel; For, as we say, the former is the chair Of judgement, the other is inventions cell, Thy brain, doth thine own literature invent, Thy ear, on others labours, doth comment. Which most excelleth I cannot well impart, But leave it thee, the fi●…'st for Logick's Art. Epig. 18. To his loving Cousin H. Price, of Neptune's Purgation. IF thou art sick, and wouldst a vomit take; If thou art well, and willing wouldst be sick. The Sea for both will thee a medicine make, Killing the whole, the dead reviving quick. This brackish purge excels far Hellobore, For nought, besides parbraking, payest therefore. Epig. 19 The Papists, and Anabapstis Sympathized. THrough Imitation, the Anabaptists say Their sins proceed, from their forefathers old▪ The Papists eke their sinful sect obey: Because their Sires were hattcht in the same fold. Epig. 20. To his old friend and Schoolefellow, Mr. D. jenkin's, a worthy Barrister in the Laws. Our famous Ploydon we as yet Embrace, Since thou dost live to plead grave ploydon's case. Epig. 21. Patience is a Virtue. To his lo: Cousin, and dear alismar, Hop: Thomas. PAtience endures the brunt of all assaults. Eor frowning fortune can it nought displease; Nor, can it 〈◊〉 base feigned friendship's faults, Nor yet, being wronged, from constancy will cease▪ Therefore, a peerless virtue, patience is, Whereto nothing, at no time, comes amiss. Epig. 22. Of the wonder, in Herefordshire; being a Piece of ground, that moved of itself. Philosopher's, for truth do testify, Our Mother earth immovable to be; But thyself motion strange Philosophy, These Sages wise, proves liars, as we see. If this thy motion had continued ay, Our a Est Aristotelus. Aristotle we might just gainsay. Epig. 23. To his lo. and constant friend Mr. Moor Although a Fortune. thy name might thee unconstant prove; The contrary we find in thy firm love. Epig. 24. An Adonic. On Mysa and Mopsa, two Honest Scolds. You both together jarring a sunder: far should be rather Birds of one feather. Since your pure living, Joined in one trading: Never omitting Your Mates defaming. Epig. 25. Semel insanivimus omnes. To his Cousin, Mr. I. P. THe Proverb se's, that all the best of any Hath once been mad; that once is certs too many; But, after once, we come to perfect wit, Worth small dispraise, I deem that frantic fit. Epigr. 26. To the best Indenture drawer, Titubus, the nightwalker of Fleetstreet. WHat makes thee walk so late against the law? Kind Mr. Chach I do Endendures Draw: Indentures draw, in the dark gloomy night? Whose Manuscript require a brighter light. You are mistake, we field use light or hand: We write e'er Best, whenscarse we see, or stand. Epig. 27 To the everliving, and never dying memory of the most Reverend father in God, Io: Whitgift, late Archbishop of Canterbury RIght reverend Prelate of our Church divine, Strong, solid Pillar of God's holy Ark, Bright Beacon, which incontinence didst shine, ●…ole, chiefest Scholars comfortable Mark. Thy name Whitgift, for nought was sure not height: For both in life, and lore thy Gifts were Whit: Epig. 28. On the most ho: and worthy lo: Lord Viscount de Lisles' Posy. Quo me fata vocant. THy splendent Posy, well agrees with thee, Renowned Lord, bright Sydney's shining Lamp: For where so ere thouart called by Destiny, Thou ready art for Court, or else for Campe. In one, or both thy praise doth most surpass; Such ever, Sidneys Trophies noble, was. Epig. 29. To the Malevolent, and Taxing Censurer, of his Epigrams. IF thou of glory vain wilt me accuse, These worrhlesse lines in promulgating out; Believe it then, I will not, Mome refuse The lie to give thee, if a Soldier stout. 'twas friends, not Fame that these made public then In Lethe's lake, else drench ' had been my pen. Epig. 30. To his friend the Printer of his Book. Some volumes bring in Folio to the Press, In Quarto some, according to their lore; 〈◊〉 all the learned; I w●… am the less 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…ring th●… all any store. ●…ie it not fouled in sexto 〈◊〉 Lest, as the Tome, his 〈◊〉 a●… little grow. Respect the paper, though a p●… worth small; 'twill s●… for one 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee at thy stall: ●…ig. ●…1. On the ●…thers 〈◊〉 period of his 〈◊〉 Hope. THy hopeless name, styles thee with no good hap, Thy Numbers od●… approves thee happy yet: For joy therefore thy Plaudities forth ●…ap; Thy one and thirty right the Game has hit. Disce a●…t Discede. FINIS.