❧ A delicate Diet, for daintiemouthde Droonkardes. ❧ Wherein the fowl abuse of common Carousing, and Quassing with hearty draughts, is honestly admonished. By George Gascoigne Esquire.  
Tam Marti quam Mercurio.  
❧ Imprinted at London by Richard Ihones. Aug. 22. 1576.   

❧ To the right Wor shipfull his singular good friend, Lewes Dyue of Broomeham, in the County of Bedforde, Esquyer, George Gascoigne wisheth continuance of God's favour.  
SIR, you may possibly condemn me of great ingratitude, who (having cumbered the whole world with my thryftlesse works) have yet never remembered to present you with any of them: And in deed your great friendship would rather challenge at my hands, the pre-eminence of such pleasures, together with the redoubling of greater good will, as God shall please to enable me.  
But Sir, when my wanton (and worse smelling) Poesies, presumed first to peark abroad, they came forth sooner than I wished, and much before they deserved to be liked. So that (as you may sithence perceive) I was more cumbered with correction of them, then comforted in the constructions, whereunto they were subject. And too make amends for the lost time which I mis-bestowed in writing so wantonly: I have of latter days used all my travail in matters both serious and Moral. I wrote first a tragical comedy called The Glass of Government: and now this last spring, I translated and collected a worthy piece of work, called The Droomme of dooms day, and dedicated the same to my Lord and Master: And I invented a Satire, and an Ellegie, called The Steel glass: and The complaint of Phylomene. Both which I dedicated to your good Lord and mine, the Lord Greye of Wylton: These works or Pamphlets, I esteem both Moral and Godly: whereof although I presented you no Copies, yet am I not therein so blameful as unhappy. Surely I must needs allege that I had very few Copies thereof myself: and yet of those few, I had one ready to have sent you, the last time that my Brother john Dy●e was in the City.  
But at the very instant of his departure it was not ready: So that I failed thereby of my determination, and remain at your courtesy for the acceptance of this just excuse, whereunto I hope the rather to persuade you, by presenting this small pamphlet called, A delicate Diet for Droonkards, unto your name and patronage, the which I beseech you to accept as a pawn and token of my continuing good will, I know you, and the world hath always esteemed you, for a pattern of sobriety ', and one that doth zealously detest the beastly vice of drunkenness: This small work is therefore so much the meeter to be dedicated unto you: I present it, both for that respect, and for mine own discharge: and therewithal the Copies of the works before named: I did often reveal, but never prevailed, in the errand which my brother john committed to my sollycyting when we last were together. I pray you accept my good will in all things: and soon after Mgihelmas (by God's leave) I will see you. The God of our Forefathers continued his mercy and grace to us all, now and ever.  
From my lodging in London, the. 10. of August. 1576. ¶ Your bounden and assured George Gascoigne.   

❧ A delicate Diet for Drunkards.  
Whiles I travailed in Translation, and collection of my Droomme of dooms day: and was busied in sorting of the same (for I gathered the whole out of sundry Pamphlets:) I chanced at passage, to espy one short Epistle, written against Drunkenness. And though the rest of such Treatises, as I found in the same Copy, did carry none express name of their several Authors: yet this epistle was therein entituled: An Admonition of Saint Augustine the Bishop, for the eschewing of drunkenness.  
Which Epistle, both for the credit of the Author, and for the titles sake I thought good to peruse: finding the same compendious, and eloquent, as the same Author did commonly write.  
But when I had thoroughly considered it, and therewithal had some consideration of the huge enormities, and shames which daily follow that sin: yea, when I had fully advised me, how commonly it is now a days exercised amongst us: and how slily it stealeth into this Realm through continual custom of cheering, and banqueting: I thought it should not be unprofitable, nor any way unpleasant (unless it be to such as can not abide to hear of virtue, for fear lest they might be ashamed of their vice) to add some Aucthoryties and examples for the more speedy extirpation of this monstrous plant, lately crept into the pleasant orchards of England.  
And surely it is time (yea more than time) that we should foresee, and learn to avoid, those Bermaydes of mischief, which pipe so pleasantly in every Pot, that men be thereby alured to sail into the Islands of all evil. And there (being justly deprived of God's grace,) are transformed into most ugly shapes of brute Beasts.  
And lest I seem over suddenly to leap into my matter, and over rashly to rail before good proof of reproof, let me set down this for my general proposition, That all Droonkardes are Beasts: yea, let me not shrink to affirm that not only, all common Droonkardes are Beasts, but even the wisest councillor, the gravest Philosopher, the cooningest Artificer, the skilfullest writer, and the most perfect of all sorts and Estates, if they chance at any time to be infected, and contaminate with this Beastly vice, shall be (in that doing) very Beasts also.  
Marry, as there are on earth sundry sorts of Beasts, so seemeth it that this Sorceress (Drink) doth also in her transformed Crewes, observe a wonderful variety: For some men delighting in her only for pleasure, and good fellowship (as they term it) do no further exceed then into a certain jocund mirth, and dalliance: and yet therein also they chance most commonly to give no small cause of offence. Then, this sort of Droonkards, I can best compare unto Apes, whose peevish property, is to be delighted with every fond toy, and trifle: and whose busy nature can seldom or never be exercised, without hurt or damage.  
Another sort of men, stepping a foot further, do fall unto brawling and quarrelling: not unlike to the Bears and Boars of the For rest, whose chief delight consisteth in pertycular combat with their own kind.  
Another sort (of a more malicious nature) will lie in wait (in their drunkenness) to entrap their companions with some deceit. And such I account (for all their cunning) transformed into Foxes, and wily Wolves▪ What should I speak of the Lecherous Droonkarde, who (like Turrian Goat) will spare neither Sex, Age, Kindred, nor companion, in the filthy heat of his lewd concupisbence. Or of the proud Droonkarde, which (Peacocklike) doth jet in every street: Neither ashamed to show his vile vanity, nor yet never abashed, till he fall down in the channel, as the Peacock's pride is abated when he looketh towards his feet.  
To conclude, they are all either boggishly drunk, and then lie vomiting and belching with great grief, and greater offence, or else they become Asses, and sluggishly consume in sleep, that Golden time which is lent us to use and bestow to the honour of God, and for our own avail.  
So that (as I said) I dare take in hand to defend this proposition, that All Droonkards are Beasts. And since God hath made none other so notable difference between Man and Beast, as that he hath endued the one, and deprived the other of reason and understanding: I thought meet both to translate the foresaid Epistle, and also somewhat of myself, to write as an invective, against this so perryllous a Thief, which so robbeth and despoileth men of the most precious jewel and treasure which God bestoweth upon them. And to begin with the Epistle of S. Augustine, the words thereof are these.  
ALthough, my dearly beloved, I hope that you through the grace of Christ, will fear drunkenness, as you fear the pit of Hell: and that not only you will drink no more than is convenient, but also that you will not compel or allure any other to drink more than will suffice: yet shall you take in good part this council of mine, because it can not be chosen, but that some will be negligent, and are not able to keep themselves sober. But you which do always banquet soberly, and temperately, take not this as spoken to your reproach: for it is necessary that we do sometimes rebuke drunkards.  
Then whereas (well-beloved brethren) drunkenness is a great evil, and an odious sin unto God: yet is it so grown in use, with many men through the whole world: that with such as will not understand God's commandments, it is now taken to be no great sin: so that they mock and scoff in their banquets, at such as can not bear many Cups, and are not ashamed to bind men by an envious knot of friendship that they shall drink more than behoveth. But he which compelleth another man to make himself drunken by often bibbing: it were less evil for that man, if he should wound his flesh with the sword, then that he kill his soul by drunkenness: And because our bodies are earthly, even as when there hath been some over great dash or glut of rain continuing long, the earth is soaked and resolved in mire, so that no tillage can be made in the same: In like manner our flesh being made drunken, can neither receive the spiritual tillage, nor yet the bread and food, which is necessary for the soul. And as all men do desire to have sufficient and competent showers of rain in their fields and closes, so that they may be able both to exercise tillage, and to enjoy the plenty of their fruits and increase: so in this field they should drink but so much as ●ehoueth: lest by excess and drunkenness, the very earth of their body, (being as it were turned into a very Fen and Quagmire) may better serve to breed Worms and Serpents of vice and sin, than it should be able to bring forth the fruits of charity. For all Droonkardes are even such as Fens & Marshes seem to be in all respects: you are not ignorant (well-beloved) what groweth in Fens: for whatsoever groweth therein, bringeth forth no fruit, therein breed Serpents & sundry kinds of Worms, which do bring more horror & dread, then increase of victual: Even such are Drunkards, being fit for no profit, or commodity: for oftentimes in their drunkenness they know neither themselves, nor any body else: neither can they go, stand, nor speak any thing that pertaineth unto reason: yea, oftentimes they are not ashamed to cram up their stomachs, even to vomiting, and quasse (out of all measure) by Cups of assize and measure: then he which can get the upperhand, desireth praise of his fowl and filthy fault.  
But they which delight therein, do go about wonderfully to excuse themselves, saying: I should use my friend but uncourteously▪ if as often as I bid him to my house, I gave him not as many Luppes as he would call for: But let him be no friend of thine, which wyil make thee his enemy, & which is enemy both to thee & to himself: if thou make both thyself & another man drunken, thou mayst have that man thy friend for a time: but thou shalt have God for thy perpetual enemy. Then consider wisely, whether it be commanded that thou shouldest separate thyself from God, to join in league with a Droonkard.  
And to conclude, do thou neither compel any man to drink, nor bind any man by oaths to drink: but leave it unto his those to drink as much and as little as he listeth: that if he will needs make himself drunken, he may perish alone, and not both of you be cast away.  
Let those which be incontinent and prodigal in bibbing, consider with themselves, if they be not to be judged worse than brute Beasts: for whereas brute Beasts will drink no more than that which shall suffice them, they will yet drink four times more than behoveth: and that which might have served to refresh their bodies three or four days, with reasonable contentation, they strive to spend and rather to cast it away in one day: yea, would to God that only the drink were cast away, & not they themselves also should perish: But if we eschew this at any time, peradventure the Droonkards are offended, and do murmur against us.  
Well, though there want not such as will be so offended at us, yet by God's grace there will be many which (hearing this wholesome counsel) shallbe delivered from this so grievous an enormity & sin: and they also which are moved & angry with such as speak against their yoakefellowe▪ & lemmane drunkenness, and let them give me leave to pronounce this sentence with open mouth: That whosoever delighteth in drunkenness, And doth not earnestly repent and amend the same, but doth remain in his drunkenness, without contrition and reformation, shall doubtless perish for ever and ever: for the holy ghost doth not lie by the holy Apostle, saying: The Droonkardes shall not inherit the kingdom of God: And therefore as many as be Droonkardes, shall do better, not to be offended with you, but with themselves: and let them with the help of God, shake themselves out of the dirt of dregs, or out of the filth of drunkenness, whiles there is yet place and time to repent: and make all the haste that they can (by God's help) to rise again. For drunkenness (even like unto hell) whomsoever it overcometh,) unless worthy repentance do follow, and amendment also bear it company,) it doth so stoutly challenge them unto itself, that it suffceth them not (at all) to return out of the dark pyof hell, unto the light of Charit tie, or sobriety.  
Wherefore (brethren) whiles I put you in mind of these things, I do absolve and discharge myself before God: and whosoever condemneth to hear me, and is prove and prompt to bibbing, or will swear & compel other men at his banquets to drink, shallbe guilty at the day of judgement both for himself, and for other men: Beaumont▪ and (that which is more abhominabe) some of the Clergy which aught to forbidden this, do themselves also constrain many to drink more than is expedient for them. Well, let them begin to amend and correct themselves, and then let them chastise others, that when they come before the Tribunal seat of Christ, they incur not the danger of punishment for other men's drunkenness, but rather that they may deserve to a●raine everlasting reward, whiles they amend themselves, and 'cause not to chastise & correct others also.  
And this above all things I beseech you, and by the dreadful day of judgement, I conjure you, that as often as you banquet among yourselves, you do banish and spew out of your Feasts and meryments, (even as it were the poison of the devil himself) that filthy custom, whereby th●ee and three do use without all measure, to drink either against their wills, or at the lest without any appetite to drink: for th●t unhappy and mischievous custom, doth yet smell of the smoke of Paganism: and whosoever useth it, or suffereth it either at his own table, or any other company, let him not doubt, but that he maketh himself a sacrifice to the devil, since therefore proceedeth that not only the body is weakened, but also the Soul is thereby wounded and slain: Wherefore, I beseech God of his mercy, that he vouchsafe to inspire you with such grace, that this so shameful and lamentable an evil and wickedness, may become such an hortour unto you, as that you suffer it never to be committed, but that you convert that to help & refresh the poor, which should have been cast away in superfluous drunkenness. And this by the help & grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who with the Father and the holy ghost, liveth and reigneth God, world without end. Amen.  
Hitherto the words of S. Augustine, in such sort as he wrote the said epistle: whereunto I mean now to add this short Treatise following, to the same end and purpose that the said Augustine did write the same Epistle: And yet do confess a truth, It is commonly seen, that as in all activities, or common sorts of exercises, we strain curtsy, and refrain to show our cunning, immediately after that any excellent man hath dealt in the same before us: lest thereby we might sooner defect our own weakness, then better & amend the doings of others: (yet when Apelles was present, meaner Painters would not press to take pensyl in hand: neither would Marsias well vaunt of his gain in commendation, by striving to warble upon the Harp▪ which Apollo had erst laid aside) so it may seem no less wonder, that I being a simple writer generally, and particularly (for Divinity) altogether unskilful, would presume to take pen in hand, after so holy a Father as Augustine, so profoundly studied, and so well adorned with skill to indite, both pleasantly, and pythily▪  
But for that my purpose and enterprise is not to contend in cunning, but rather to consent in doctrine, not to strive in curiosity, but to agreed in uniformity, nor to hunt for particular praises, but to labour for a general profit, therefore I am bold (in so honest a cause) to do my best: Beseeching the Reader, neither to regard the unpleasauntnesse of my Style, nor the nakedness of my simplicity: but only to consider the necessity of my reprehensions, constrained by the extremity of this beastly vice, which Augustine in his time did so sharply rebuke.  
And surely if our common custom therein practised, did not much more exceed in the superlative degree, than the shortness of this his Epistle before rehearsed, doth minister occasion of further treaty, I could have been better contented to have kept silence, than thus to have sowed a patch of Chainlette, in a garment of Satin: One comfort (I must confess) I have conceived, that I can speed no worse in this small travail, than a number of learned & Godly teachers have done before me. Who calling and crying daily against this horrible, & beastly custom, have the deaf ear turned unto their spiritual admonitions, and are constrained (with great grief of mind) to leave this swyni●●● sort of people, wallowing in the dirt & mire of their most execrable drunkenness. Such is the very nature and property of sin generally (but of this sin especially) that where it once getteth the mastery and upperhand by continual custom, it hardeneth the heart, blindeth the eyes, amasseth the understanding, bewitcheth the senses, benoometh the members, dulleth the wyte, provoketh unto beastliness, discourageth from virtuous exercise, maketh lovely to seem loathsome, hasteneth crooked age, fostereth infirmities, defileth the body openly, & woundeth the soul unseen.  
This is that Circe, or Medea, which can Metamorphose, & transform men into ugly misshapen monsters, yea▪ the gallauntest peers, in●o senseless Stocks. and mightiest monarch into brute Beasts. For was not Noah 
Genes. 9  (even the chosen servant of God) through this beastly vice, so Metamorphosed, that he lay in his ●ent uncovered, and showed thereby the secreets which shame and nature forbid us to disclose? But what punishment fell upon his youngest Sons posterity therefore? even a perpetual bondage & servitude, and in like manner, what should we account Loath and his 
Genes. 19  Daughters but Beasts, who in their drunkenness, committed abominable incest in the sight of God? Or what prevailed unto Samson, the marvelous 
judges. 16.  force & strength wherewith God had blessed him, to overcome so many enemies in battle, (when wallowing in concupiscence, which is a cozen to this loathsome vice) he bewrayed unto Dalyla the secreets of God's mysteries, and so become a mocking stock unto his enemies? of amighty Champion, he become a mylksop: of a Giant a Gnat, and of a Patron & defender, a Babe & a weakling, ready to crave defence of others: suffering his eyes to be plucked out of his head, and his body to be led about as a common scorn and pastime for the Philistines.  
Holofernes, in all the pomp of his 
judith. 12. 13. 14.  pride, and in the very midst of his huge host and army, (being brought drunk a bed) left his head in pawn with those whom he thought to have subdued, & so discomforted his soldiers by the sudden terror of his death, that the poor Citizens of Bethulia, (whose people they erst determined to have devoured) could now boldly issue out of their walls, & put them to shameful flight and slaughter: O wondered exchange, the stout Chaptaine which in his own blind imagination, thought himself strong enough, (with his host) to have subdued the whole world, was (through the shame full defe●●of this beastly vice) conquered in the midst of all his force by one weak woman's hand: I might rehearse sundry famous examples out of the holy scripture, sufficient to terrify and withdraw any Christian mindfrom this horrible and beastly abomination. But as I have partly begun with the best & principal authority, so will I yet recite some examples out of Heathen Authors, who wrote of the ages passed, and then consequently descend unto our own age present: in which this enormity doth so far exceed that (if dead men might be called again) the Forefathers should not want sufficient cause to woder at our impudency, who having not the cloaked excuse of ignorance, and lack of instruction, which the Heathen mi●ht (after a sort) allege in defence of their defects, are not ashamed to pro●●de & to surpass all ages, in so loathsome and beastly a transgression: whereas in all Moral virtues, we can nevertheless be content to come far behind them.  
Alexander the Macedonian, who by his valiance & prowess, in less than twelve years, conquered & subdued, Ill●ria, now called Slavonia, the City of Thebes, with the Territories and Countries adjoining: yea all Greece, Asia, Persia, and India, with the East parts of the whole world: being settled in peaceable possession of his dominions, gave himself over unto vanity & pleasures, and at the last to excessive drunkenness: whereby he become so obious unto his people generally, that they privily conspired his death, & executed the same: So that they having respect to the excellency of his singular virtues, and there withal weighing that his overthrow came chief by this detestable vice: I can not better term him then a mighty man, transformed into a brute Beast. Apitius not contented to distemper his own body continually with wine & delicate fare, and after much & great consumption thereof, to found an hole in his bags. as big as five hundredth four score & three thousand, fifty & four peun●s starlings, did yet infect the whole City of Rome, with poison of the same abomination: which in times past bad been a perfect Mirror of temperance to other Nations: but in the end he beastly & most ungodly, did wilfully drink poison, and destroyed himself, fearing jest the remnant of his substance would not minister sufficiently unto the platform or foundation which he had laid in this abominable bibbing, banqueting, & quassing: and what shall I name this man, but a beastly Metamorphoser, both of himself & of others? Lucullus a famous Roman, both for learning & skill in Martial feats, after a number of great victories, & exceeding Fame got by temperance in justice, and politic government, did give himself over unto such an Epicures life, and sunk so deep into the gulf of this odious enormity, that in th', end he lost his wits and memory, & with all his substance was like a child, committed unto the charge & direction of others: and was not this a plain Metamorphosis? What should I rehearse the Histories of Lucius verus, Marcus Bibulus, Sergius, and sundry other romans? who wallowing and delighting in this beastly vice, Metamorphosed themselves most monstrusly. For we must not think that the ancient Poettes in their most famous works; did directly mean as the literal text of their Fables do import: but they did Clerkly in figures, set before us sundry tales, which (being well marked) might serve as examples, to terrify th● posterity from falling into sundry vanities, and pestilent misgovernments: and thereupon, they feigned that Medea, Circe, and such other could Metamorphose & transform men into Beasts, Birds, plants, and Flowers: meaning thereby, that whosoever is so blinded in sensuality, that forgetting his intellectual reasons, & the better part of his understanding, he follow the appetite and concupiscence of nature, he shall without doubt transform himself, or be transformed from a man to a Beast, etc. For what greater imperfection can we allege in the most brute and savage Beasts, then to follow sensual appetite, unto all vain appearance of delights? Nay, rather we must confess that Beasts do by a natural enstincte observe a certain mediocrity, in many things which do by extremity turn into vice: The Beasts and cattle. with Fowls, Fishes, and other such creatures, void of reason: do yet covet or desire the act of generation, but only at certain times prefixed, when nature doth thereunto kindle and provoke them. But men who challenge a perfection above all other creatures, do beastly and more than beastly, and abominably delight therein, (nay, provoke & pamper the daily excess thereof) to the weakening of their bodies, offending of their devout & well disposed brethren, & high displeasing of almighty God:  
The Beasts, etc. never or seldom do surcharge their stomach with more meat than they may well digest, but men do cram themselves with Cates, until they be constrained to vomit: Beasts, when they are stirred or provoked to wrath and anger, do yet presently pass over the malice, without intent of revenge: But men can retain a malice, years & ages: whereby the destruction of sundry worthy famyllies hath ensued. And now to touch our purpose more particularly: Beasts are satisfied with drinking once or twice a day at ordinary and accustomed hours, but men are not ashamed to sit bibbing, quassing, and tossing of pots, whole days and nights: So that a just account of their lives being called, they may seem neither borne to do none other thing, or else to have so guilty misspent their time, that the most brute and senseless Beasts, are able to accuse them of sundry huge enormities.  
By these and sundry other reasons, I thought not impertinent to name this detestable vice of drunkenness, the Circe or Medea, which Metamorphoseth, & transformeth men into most ugly and monstrous shapes & proportions: whereof I have brought forth some examples out of holy scriptures, and others some out of the Neathen Authors, which wrote the facts and governments of the famous romans.  
But now if we consider our own age (yea our own Nation) the very chief cause which made me prefume to add this small treatise, unto the Epistle of S. Angustine, we shall found by too true experience, that we do so much exceed all those that have gone before us, that if they might seem as men transformed into Beasts, we shall rather appear as Beasts misshaped & changed into devils. And in this accusation, I do not only summon the Germans (who of ancient time have been the continual Wardens of the Droonkards' fraternity and corporation,) but I would also city to appear our new-fangled english men, which think scorn to leave any new fashion (so that it be evil) untried or unfollowed. For now a days what Merchant, what Artificer, nay, what butcher, or boongler, in any occupation, can be contented to invite his friend to dinner, or supper, unless he do his best, to give him a Cap of Magis (as they term it) and beguile both the Coffer of their store, and the treasure of their soul, with counterfeits names to cloak their beastly inventions: Wherein I note the vice so much the more dangerous, since they cannot deny, that they are daily thereof both admonished and reproved by sundyr learned & godly Teachers and Preachers: who painfully and zealously do exhort them from this Quassing. Carousing, and tossing of Pots.  
But what amendment followeth in many of us? surely I tremble to write it, and it grieveth me sufficiently to think thereon, that in steed of reformation, they scoff and taunt amongst themselves, in their banquets, saying: Friends we are forbidden to Quasse, or to Carouse, and therefore let us use none other drinking but a hearty draft: And having thus (in their own frantic imaginations) cloaked their deuyl●she & damnable intent, they proceed until this new found hearty draft, be found slew times worse than their former Nuassing & Carousing: O gross blindness of heart: can impudent men think so to deceive the almighty God, which seeth the secreets of all hearts? no surely, For he which dwelleth in heaven shall laugh 
Psal. 2.  them to scorn: yea, the Lord shall vex them in his sore displeasure. Let us but consider this one thing: in what civil Realm or dominion, where the people are taught and exercised in the commandements and counsels of God (England only excepted) shall we see the unthrifty Artificer, or the labourer, permitted to sit bibbing and drinking of Wine in every Tavern? or what woman (even amongst the drunken Almains) is suffered to follow her Husband unto the Alehouse or Beerhouse? But it were folly to stand so much upon these mean personages, who for lack of wit or good education, may easily be inclined to things undecent.  
I would (for God) that our gentry, and the better fort of our people, were not to much acquainted with Quassing, Carousing, and drinking of hearty draughts, at many merry conventions: would God that we learned not (by the foreleaders beforenamed) 
bifor your ●aistreesse and best beloved sake, pledge me this Cupful. etc.  to charge and conjure each other unto the pledge, by the name of such as we most honour and have in estimation: Ah 'las, we English men can mock & scoff at all Countries for their defects▪ but before they have many times mustered before us, we can learn by little and little to exceed and pass them all, in all that which (at first sight) we accounted both vile & villainous: The Spanish codpiece on the belly: the Itallyan waste under the banch bones: the French kuffes: the Polonian Hose: the Dutch jerken: and the Turkey Bonnet: all these at the first we despised, & had in derision. But immediately (Mutate opinion) we do not only retain them, but we do so far exceed them: that of a Spanish Codpiece, we make an English football: of an Itallyan waist, an English Petticoat: of a French ruff, an English Chytterling: of a Polonian Hose, an English bowgette: of a Dutch jerken, an old English Habergeone, and of a Turkey bonnet, a Copentank for Caiphas: In like manner we were wont (in times past) to contemn and condemn the Almains and other of the low Countries, for their beastly drinking and quassing. But now a days (although we use it not daily like them, for it seems that they are naturally inclined unto that vice) yet, when we do make banquets and merriments; as we term them, we surpass them very far: and small difference is found betwixt us and them, but only that they (by a custom. rooted amongst them, & become next cozen to nature as beforesaid) do daily wallow in a gross manner of beastliness, & we think to cloak the filthiness thereof by amore honourable solemnity, & by the cleanly title of courtesy. The Almains with their small Kenish wine are contented: or rather than fail a cup of Beer may entreat them to stoop: But we must have March beer, double double Beer, Dagger ale, Bragget, Rhenish wine, White wine, French wine, Gascoigne wine, Sack, Hollocke, Canaria wine, Vino greco: Vinum amabile, & all the wines that may be gotten: Yea wine of itself is not sufficient, but Sugar, Lemons, & sundry sorts of Spices, must be drowned therein▪ to minister matter unto our vain delights & to beguile ourselves with the bait which drunkenness doth therein lay for us. And all this must be covered with the cleanly name of courtesy, & friendly entertainment.  
But give me leave (O Droonkards) to ask you this question, if by this courtesy, & friendly entertainment of yours, a friend which is constrained thus to pledge you, do chance to surfeit, & to fall thereby into such distemper, that he die thereof: what kind of courtesy shall we then account it? or what friendship can be found in such entertainment? yea, if he escape surfeiting or danger of death, (which is seldom avoided in them that use drinking unmeasurably) yet if his former good fame & credit be thereby so much touched, that his gravest friends take just occasion to reprehend him, & to withdraw their good wills from him: shall he not have just cause to condemn this courtesy as counterfeit, and curse this feigned friendship? At the lest, though his worldly friends wink, and temporal death forbear him a while, let him yet not think to escape the just judge meant of God, who punisheth the abomination of iniquity, unto the third & fourth generation. And in these three points, especially have I considered the enormity of this sin: For that it weakeneth and endaungerth man's body daily, it impaireth his credit openly, and woundeth his soul secréetly. So that for mine own particular opinion, I could wish that (Italian or Spaniard like) we did altogether banish from our banquets, the common courtesy of drinking one to another at all: not that I would see me thereby to condemn it (of itself) if it be but temperately used, but because I find that the pleasantness of the drink, and the infirmity of our nature do beget one draft upon another, so that beginning with courtesy, we end with madness and beastliness. And well wrote he which said, that the first Cup quenched thirst, the second induced mirth, and rejoicing in heart, the third voluptuosness, the fourth drunkenness, the fifth wrathfulness, the sixth contenciousnesse, the seventh furiousness, the eight sluggishness, and the ninth, extremity of sickness.  
But with us, nine dranghts: yea, nineteen draughts: nay, sometime nine & twenty do not suffice. And whereas the Forefathers gave no further warrant, then for the second draft, and seemed to think that (passing further than that) concupiscence strait ways crept in, we are not abashed to break their bounds, & make concupiscence but a trifling fault in comparison of our beastly excess. For first to speak of sickness and infirmities, what knoweth be which taketh the Cup in hand to drink unto another, whether he have as much delight to pledge, as he hath to drink unto him? or whether the constitution of his body, will so well away with excessive drinking, as his own will? then must it follow, that if the Pledger be not of like disposition, the Bryncher is guilty of alluring unto sin: And if he were as forwardly disposed as he, yet at the lest he must be guilty in stirring him to continuance thereof: In like manner, if the Pledger be inwardly sick, or have some infirmity, whereby too much drink (or drinking, when nature doth not desire it) do impair his health, and shorten his life, then doth the Bryncher seem to be guilty of his death: Yea, though he be of a lusty disposition and constitution of body, (considering the sundry sicknesses which grow upon surfeytes) the Bryncher doth at the lest, put a naked Sword in a mad man's hand: and is culpable both of his own transgression, and of his fellows fault: this is then one branch of this drunken courtesy.  
But to speak of impairing the credit both of himself, and his companion, what greater shame can be showed, then to weaken reason and understanding, which are the principal gifts that we receive of God? to lee● the power, to guide or govern our hands? feet? tongue? and other members, which are lent us of God, to serve him with honour? to blear our eyes? puff up our face? and to cast our hair? which are the ornaments of nature, to be used unto the glory of our creator? to build a kingdom for lust and concupiscence? to chase virtue from our company? to bewray secrets? to become our enemies jesting stock, and our friends cause of lamentation? to run headlong into every peril, to begin like Apes, & to end like Asses? to give occasion of strife like wrathful Boars, and to yield unto the slaughter like weaklings and Calves? To conclude, I know nothing that may more impair man's credit, then of a reasonable soul to become a brute & senseless Beast: and this is the second branch of this courtesy & friendship which we use in drinking and Duassing: Now finally to prove that it woundeth man's soul, is evident, in that almighty God hath aswell by his Prophets, as also by his Apostles, so often and so manifoldly reproved & forbidden the same. And we must firmly believe, that whosoever doth wittingly transgress the counsels or commandments of almighty God, contained in his holy word, doth manifestly wound and hurt his own soul: in that he doth aggravate his original imperfections, & tender himself more and more culpable of God's judgements. For the Prophet Esai in his fourth Chap. hath these words: Woe be unto them that rise up early to follow drunkenness: now this word (Woe) in the holy Scriptures is commonly taken for a grievous curse and threatening: but the Prophet doth proceed more plainly, saying: In their feasts are Harps and Lutes, Tabrets', Pipes, & wine: but they regard not the Lord, and consider not the operatiou of his hands: therefore cometh my folk unto captivity, because they have none understanding: their glory is famished with hunger, and their multitude (or plenty) dried up with thirst: therefore gapeth hell (saith he) and openeth her mouth marvelous wide, that their glory, multitude, and wealth, with such as rejoice therein, may descend into it: And again in his. xxviii. Chapt. speaking of the proud Potestates, he saith: Woe be unto the crown of pride, even unto the drunken people of Ephraim, whose great pomp is as a flower, etc. And speaking against false judges and Teachers, he saith: They are out of the way, by reason of wine, yea, far out of the way, through strong drink. And Solomon in his Proverbs hath sundry passages against this loathsome vice: as in the. xx. Chap. he sayeth. Wine maketh a man scornful, and strong drink causeth a man to be unquiet: who so delighteth therein shall not be wise. And in the. xxxi. Cham he saith: O Lamuel, it is not for Kings, it is not for Kings (I say) to drink wine, nor Princes strong drink: lest they by drinking forget the Law, and pervert the judgement of all poor men's children: The Prophet Amos in the sixth Chapter, reproving the Princes of Israel, for wallowing in vain delights, reckoneth on the abomination of a Droonkard, in these words: They drink wine in Bowls (saith he) and anoint themselves with chief oyntmennts, but no man is sorry for the affliction of joseph. Micheas also in his second Chapter, taunting and reproving the chyldishnesse, and ignorance of the people, saith: If a man lie falsely: saying, I will prophesy to thee of wine, and strong drink, that were a meet Prophet for this people. And the Prophet Abacuc in his second Chapter, seemeth to join the proud man and the Droonkard together, where he sayeth: Yea in deed the proud man, is as he that transgresseth by wine, therefore shall he not endure: because he hath enlarged his desire as the hell, and is as death: And in the end of the same Chapter he sayeth: Woo be unto him that giveth his neighbour drink: thou joinest thy rage, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayst see their privities: thou art filled with shame, for glory: drink thou also, and be made naked, the Cup of the Lords right hand, shall be turned unto thee, and shameful spewing shallbe for thy glory.  
But to conclude this proposition, although I might here allege, very many other texts of holy Scriptures, which do expressedly reprove this loathsome abomination, I think it sufficient to recite the words of Paul, in the sixth Chapter of his first Epistle to the Corinthians, where (amongst sundry other vices) he pronounceth plain sentence against Droonkardes, saying: That they shall not inherit the kingdom of God: And in his fifth Chapter to the galatians, and to the Ephesians, he repeateth (in manner) the self same words. This is then the third branch of the fruits which grow by this beastly vice, even the wrath of God, and loss of the heavenly habitation.  
Now if these authorities, examples, counsels, and commandments, seem not sufficient to terrify us from falling into this swinish and filthy abomination. I can do no more. but pray unto God, that some better learned, and more eloquent than I, may (by assistance of his holy spirit) be made able to set down such wholesome lessons for the avoiding thereof, that the excess and custom of the same, may generally throughout all Christendom, and especially here in England, be reformed: And the plagues and punishments by him threatened and pronounced (by his clemency and mercy) may be withdrawn and remitted: So that in all cleanness and pureness of heart, we may praise his name: To whom with the Son and the holy Ghost, be all dominion, power and glory, now and for ever. So be it.  
FINIS.