A RELATION OF THE FEARFUL ESTATE OF Francis Spira, in the year, 1548. The backeslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways, Prov. 14. 14. LONDON, Printed by I. L. for Phil. Stephens, and Christoph. Meredith, at the golden Lion in Paul's Churchyard. 1638. A Preface. FOR truth of this History ensuing, besides circumstances of place, person, time, occasion, so exactly observed; I refer myself to the Relation of those Godly men, who in several languages have manifested to the world the several passages thereof: and although I am not ignorant, that at the first they were not only not credited, but also discredited and slandered, by such as found them to be a Blur to the Roman Profession, yet they lost not their lustre thereby, but being acquitted by many Compurgators of several Nations, and some of the Romish Religion, being all of them spectators of this Tragedy. It occasioned not only a further manifestation and confirmation of the truth, but also a large & more frequent confluence, to see that which they had formerly only heard of. This partly appeareth out of the succeeding Story; but more fully out of an Apology written by Vergerius Bishop of justinople, who was accused for dispersing the fame of this Example to the stain of Popery, in which Apology to N. Rottan, Suffragen of Milan, is shortly and plainly declared, what was said, what was done, and who were present. If that it be demanded, what moved me to compile this Treatise; Spira— tell them that it should teach fear and reverence, and indeed among all those that come to see him, few or none returns unshaken. Vergerius in his first Epistle saith; I would fain go see him again, but I exceedingly fear and tremble, and in his Apology saith, it is such a rare example, as I would willingly go to the furthest parts of the world to hear or see the like. The Lady jane to her Father's Chaplain (that had fall'n into Spira's sin) saith, remember the lamentable estate of Spira. I acknowledge that there hath been formerly a Book published in our Mother tongue, concerning this subject, but as far as I can learn (for I could never yet obtain to see any one of them) it was nothing so large and various as this present Treatise, and as I have heard, a translation of only one of the Tractates, from whence I have gathered this present Discourse in part. Concerning my care and fidelity in this business, it is such as I may truly say without changing of colour, that there is not one sentence of all this Work attributed unto the person of Spira, but it hath it warrant, either from the Epistles of Vergerius and Gribaldus, Professors of the Law in Milan, or from the Discourses of Henry Scringer a Scotish man, Sigismond Gelons a Transylvanian, and Martin Bocha a Divine of Basill: neither have I taken any other Liberty then as a Relation to wove the aforesaid Discourses one within another, so as those which under several Writers, were before counted several, are now by my endeavours reduced into one entire History, connexed by due succession of time and occasion, as punctually as could be aimed at, by the circumstances noted in the Writings of those holy and learned men before named. N. B. Imprimatur Tho: Wykes. April. 5. 1638. A RELATION OF the fearful estate of FRANCIS SPIRA. IN the year 1548. when the glorious Sun of the Gospel was but newly risen in Europe; in the days of the reign of Edward the Sixth of that name King of England: In the Territory, and under the jurisdiction of the City of Venice, being the very border of Italy, in the town of Cittadella, lived one Francis Spira, a Civil Lawyer, an Advocate of great rank and esteem, being of known learning, & eloquence? of great experience; of carriage circumspect and severe; his speech grave & composed, his countenance sharp and austere; every way befitting that authority whereunto he was advanced; endowed with outward blessings, of wife, & eleven children, & wealth in abundance: what his worst parts were, I have no other warrant, than his own words, which (if not tainted overmuch, with the bitterness of a desperate mind, and bearing the countenance rather of passion, then of sober confession) may seem to add a period to all further commendations. I was (said he) excessively covetous of money, and accordingly I applied myself to get by injustice, corrupting justice by deceit, inventing tricks to delude justice: good causes I either defended deceitfully, or sold them to the adversary perfidiously; ill causes I maintained with all my might; I wittingly opposed the known truth, and the trust committed unto me, I either betrayed or perverted. Thus having worn out forty four years, or there about, and the news of the new, or rather newly revived opinions of Luther coming into those parts, represented an object of novelty unto him; who being as desirous to know as he was famous for knowledge; suffered not these wand'ring opinions to pass unexamined, but searching into the Scriptures, and into all books of Controversy that he could get, both old and new; and finding more than fame or opinion, he began to taste their nature so well, as he entertains, loves, and owns them at length; and with such zeal, as he became a professor; yea a teacher of them, first to his wife, children, and family, and after to his friends, and familiar acquaintance; & in comparison, seemed to neglect all other affairs; intending ever to press this main point, that We must wholly, and only to depend on the free, and unchangeable love of God in the death of Christ, as the only sure way to salvation: and this was the sum of all his discourse, and this continued for the space of six years, or there about; even so long as this fire could keep itself within private walls; but at length it broke forth into public meetings; so as the whole Province of Milan dawned by the lustre thereof. The Clergy finding the trade of their pardons to decay; and their Purgatory to wax cold, began to bestir themselves; glozing their actions first with calumnious aspersions upon the whole profession, then more plainly striking at Spira with grievous accusations: And to effect their purpose, some promise labour, others favour, some advice, others maintenance; all join to divide, either his soul from his body, or both from God. Now was john Casa the Pope's Legate resident at Venice, being by birth a Florentine; and one that wanted neither malice against those of this way, nor craftiness to effect his malicious purposes: To him these men repair with outcries against Spira; that he was the man that condemned the received rites of the Church; deluded the Ecclesiastical power, and scandalised the policy thereof; one of no mean rank; being a man of Account and authority, and thereunto, learned in the Scriptures, elegant in speech; and in one word, a dangerous Lutheran; having also many disciples, and therefore not to be despised. At this began the Legate to cast his eye on the terrible alteration that lately had happened in Germany; where, by the means of one only Luther, the Romish Religion had suffered such a blow, as that it could neither be cured by dissimulation, nor defended by power; but the Clergy must either mend their manners, or lose their dignities: on the other side, when he saw how propense the common people inhabiting in the bordering countries of Italy were to entertain those new opinions, he now thought it no time to dispute, or persuade, but with speed repairs to the Senate, and procures authority from them to send for Spira. Spira by this time had considered with himself of the nature of his carriage, how evident and notorious it was, and therefore subject to be envied by such, as neither liked his person nor Religion, he perceived that his opinions were neither retired nor speculative, but such as aimed at the overthrew of the Romish Faction, and at change of Policy, wherein at the best, he could expect but a bloody victory, and that his enemies wanted neither power nor occasion to call him to account in public, when he must either Apostatise, and shamefully give his former life, yea his own conscience the lie, or endure the utmost malice of his deadly enemies, or forsake his wife, children, friends, goods, authority; yea, his dear Country; and betake himself to a foreign people, there to endure a thousand miseries, that do continually wait upon a voluntary exile. Being thus distracted, and tossed in the restless waves of doubt, without guide to trust to, or haven to fly to for succour; on the sudden God's Spirit assisting, he felt a calm, and began to discourse with himself in this manner: Why wanderest thou thus in uncertainties, unhappy man; cast away fear, put on thy shield, the shield of faith; Where is thy wont courage, thy goodness, thy constancy? remember that Christ's glory lies at the stake, suffer thou without fear, and he will defend thee, he will tell thee what thou shalt answer; he can beat down all danger, bring thee out of prison, raise thee from the dead; consider Peter in the dungeon, the Martyrs in the fire, if thou makest a good confession, thou mayest indeed go to prison, or death, but an eternal reward in heaven remains for thee; What hast thou in this world comparable to eternal life, to everlasting happiness? if thou dost otherwise, think of the scandal; (common people live by example, thinking what ever is done, is well done) fear the loss of peace and joy, fear hell, death, and eternal wrath; or if thy flesh be so strong, as to cause thee to doubt of the issue, fly thy Country; get thee away, though never so far, rather than deny the Lord of Life. Now was Spira in reasonable quiet, being resolved to yield to these weighty reasons; yet holding it wisdom to examine all things, he consults also with flesh and blood; thus the battle doth renew, and the flesh begins in this manner: Be well advised, fond man, consider reasons on both sides, and then judge: how canst thou thus overween thine own sufficiency, as thou neither regardest the examples of thy Progenitors; nor the judgement of the whole Church; dost thou not consider what misery this thy rashness will bring thee unto? thou shalt lose thy substance, gotten with so much care and travel, thou shalt undergo the most exquisite torments that malice itself can devise, thou shalt be counted an heretic of all: and to close up all, thou shalt die shamefully. What thinkest thou of the loathsome stinking dungeon, the bloody axe, the burning faggot, are they delightful? Be wise at length, and keep thy life and honour, thou mayst live to do much good to good men, as God commands thee, thou mayst be an ornament to thy Country; and put case thy Country's loss would be of small esteem with thee; Wilt thou bring thy friends also into danger? thou hast begotten children, wilt thou now cut their throats, & inhumanely butcher them, which may in time bring honour to their Country, glory to God, help and furtherance to his Church: go to the Legate weak man, freely confess thy fault, and help all these miseries. Thus did the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the good Seed that was formerly sown; so as fearing, he faints, and yields unto the allurements of this present world, & being thus blinded, he goes to the Legate at Venice, and salutes him with this news. Having for these diverse years entertained an opinion concerning some Articles of faith, contrary to the Orthodox and received judgement of the Church; and uttered many things against the authority of the Church of Rome, and the universal Bishop: I humbly acknowledge my fault and error, and my folly in misleading others: I therefore yield myself in all obedience to the Supreme Bishop, into the bosom of the Church of Rome; never to depart again from the Traditions and Decrees of the holy See: I am heartily sorry for what is past; and I humbly beg pardon forso great an offence. The Legate perceiving Spira to faint, he pursues him to the utmost; he causeth a recitation of all his Errors to be drawn in writing, together with the Confession annexed to it, and commands Spira to subscribe his name there, which accordingly he did; then the Legate commands him to return to his own Town; and there to declare this Confession of his, and to acknowledge the whole Doctrine of the Church of Rome to be holy, and true; and to abjure the Opinions of Luther, and other such Teachers, as false, & heretical: Man knows the beginnings of sin, but who bounds the issues thereof? Spira having once lost footing, goes down amain, he cannot stay, nor gainsay the Legate; but promiseth to accomplish his whole will and pleasure; he soon addresseth himself for his journey, and being onward in the way, bethinks himself of large spoils he had brought away from the Conflict with the Legate: what glorious testimony he had given of his great faith, and constancy in Christ's cause: and to be plain, how impiously he had denied Christ, and his Gospel at Venice; and what he promised to do further in his own Country; and thus partly with fear, and partly with shame being confounded; he thought he heard a voice speaking unto him in this manner. Spira, What dost thou here? whither goest thou? hast thou unhappy man, given thy hand-writing to the Legate at Venice; yet see thou dost not seal it in thine own Country: dost thou indeed think eternal life so mean, as that thou preferrest this present life before it? dost thou well in preferring wife and children before Christ? is the windy applause of the people, better indeed then the glory of God; and the possession of this world's good more dear to thee, than the salvation of thine own Soul? is the small use of a moment of time more desirable, then eternal wrath is dreadful? Think with thyself what Christ endured for thy sake; is it not equal thou shouldest suffer somewhat for him? Remember, man, that the sufferings of this present life, are not comparable to the glory that shall be revealed: if thou sufferest with him, thou shalt also reign with him: thou canst not answer for what thou hast already done; nevertheless, the gate of mercy is not quite shut, take heed that thou heapest not sin upon sin, lest thou repent when it will be too late. Now was Spira in a wilderness of doubts, not knowing which way to turn him, nor what to do, yet being arrived in his own Country, and amongst his friends, with shame enough he relates what he had done, and what he had further promised to do; and how the terrors of God on the one side, and the terror of this world on the other side, did continually rack him; and therefore he desired of them advise in this so doubtful a case: his friends upon small deliberation answered; that it was requisite he should take heed that he did not in any wise betray his wife and children, and all his friends into danger, seeing that by so small a matter as the reciting of a little Schedule, which might be done in less space then half an hour, he might both free himself from present danger, and preserve many that depended upon him; adding moreover, that he could get no Credit in relenting from that which he had already in greatest part performed before the Legate at Venice, and that in the perfect accomplishing thereof, little or no discredit could arise, more than what by the former action already he had sustained: on the other side, if he did not perform his promise made to the Legate, he could neither discharge himself of the shame which he had already incurred; nor avoid far more heavy and insupportable injuries, then probably he should have endured, if he had persisted obstinately in his former Opinions. This was the last blow of the battle, and Spira utterly overcome, goes to the Praetor, and proffers to perform his foresaid promise made to the Legate, who in the mean time had taken order to have all things ready, and had sent the instrument of abjuration signed by Spira, to the Praetor, by the hands of a certain Priest. All that night the miserable man ware out with restless cares, without any minute of rest; the next morning being come, he gets up, and being ready, he desperately enters into the public Congregation, where Mass being finished, in the presence of friends and enemies, and of the whole Assembly; being by estimation near two thousand people; yea, and of Heaven itself, he recites that infamous abjuration, word for word, as it was written: it being done, he was fined at thirty pieces of gold, which he presently paid: five whereof were given to the Priest that brought the abjuration, the other twenty five were employed towards the making of a Shrine to put the Eucharist in; then was he sent home restored to his Dignities; goods, wife, and children: No sooner was he departed, but he thought he heard a direful voice, saying to him; thou wicked wretch, thou haste denied me, thou hast renounced the covenant of thy obedience, thou hast broken thy vow, hence Apostate, bear with thee the sentence of thy eternal damnation: he trembling and quaking in body and mind, fell down in a swoon; relief was at hand for the body, but from that time forwards, he never found any 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 mind▪ but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in uncessant torment 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 professed that he was captived under the revenging hand of the great God: that he heard continually that fearful sentence of Christ that just judge▪ that he knew he was utterly undone: that he could neither hope for grace, nor Christ's intercession wth God the Father in his behalf: thus was his fault ever heavy on his heart, and ever his judgement before his eyes. Now began his friends some of them to repent too late of their rash counsel; others not looking so high as the judgement of God, laid all the blame upon his Melancholic constitution; that overshadowing his judgement, wrought in him a kind of madness: every on censured as his fancy led him, yet for remedy all agreed in this, to use both the wholesome help of Physicians, and the pious advice of Divines, and therefore thought it meet to convey him to Milan, an University of note, where plenty of all manner of means was to be had: this they accordingly did, both with his wife, children, and whole family; others also of his friends accompanying him: and being arrived at the house of one james Ardin, in Saint leonard's, Parish, they sent for three Physicians of most note, who upon due observation of the effects, & of other Symptoms of his disease, and some private conference one with another, among themselves, returned their verdict in this manner, viz. That they could not discern that his body was afflicted with any danger or distemper originally from itself, by reason of the overruling of any humour; but that this Malady of his did arise from some grief, or passion of his mind, which being overburthened, did so oppress the spirits, as they wanting free passage, stirred up many ill humours, whereof the body of man is full; & these ascending up into the brain, troubled the fancy; shadowed the seat of the judgement, and so corrupted it: this was the state of his disease, and that outward part that was visible to the eye of nature, this they endeavoured to reform by purgation, either to consume, or at least to divert the course of those humours from the brain; but all their skill effected nothing, which Spira noting, said: Alas poor men, how far wide are you; do you think that this disease is to be cured by potions; believe me there must be another manner of medicine, it is neither potions, plasters, nor drugs, that can help a fainting soul cast down with sense of sin, and the wrath of God; it is only Christ that must be the Physician, and the Gospel the sole Antidote. The Physicians easily believed him, after they had understood the whole truth of the matter, and therefore they wished him to seek some spiritual comfort. By this time the fame of this man was spread over all Milan, and the neighbour Country, partly for that he was a man of Esteem, partly because as the disease, so the occasion was especially remarkable; for this was not done in a corner: so as daily there came multitudes of all sorts to see him: some out of curiosity only to see and discourse: some out of a pious desire to try all means that might reduce him to comfort again, or at least to benefit themselves, by such a spectacle of misery, and of the justice of God. Amongst these, Paulus Vergerius Bishop of justinopolis, and Mattheus Gribauldus, deserve especially to be named, as the most principal labourers for this man's comfort. They find him now about fifty years of age, neither affected with the dotage of old age, nor with the unconstant headstrong passion of youth, but in the strength of his experience and judgement; in a burning heat calling excessively for drink; yet his understanding active, quick of apprehension, witty in discourse above his ordinary manner, and judiciously opposite: his friends laboured him by all fair means to receive some nourishment, which he obstinately gainsaying, they forcibly infused some liquid sustenance into his mouth, most of which he spit out again; exceedingly chafing, and in this fretting mood of his, said: As it is true that all things work for the best to those that love God; Rom. 8. 28. so to the wicked all are contrary: for whereas a plentiful offspring is the blessing of God, and his reward, being a stay to the weak estate of their aged parents; to me they are a cause of bitterness and vexation; they do strive to make me tyre out this misery; I would fain be at an end; I deserve not this dealing at their hands; O that I were gone from hence, that some body would let out this weary Soul. His friends saluted him, and asked him, what he conceived to be the cause of his disease; forthwith he broke out into a lamentable discourse of the passages formerly related, & that with such passionate Elocution, that he caused many to weep & most to tremble. They contrarily to comfort him, propounded many of God's promises recorded in the Scripture; and many examples of God's mercy: My sin (said he) is greater than the mercy of God. Nay, answered they, the mercy of God is above all sin; God would have all men to be saved: It is true (quoth he) he would have all that he hath elected, abee s●aved; he would not have damned reprobates to be saved; I am one of that number; I know it, for I willingly, and against my knowledge denied Christ; and I feel that he hardens, and will not suffer me to hope. After some silence, one asked him whether he did not believe that Doctrine (to be true) for which he was accused before the Legate; he answered; I did believe it when I denied it, but now I neither believe that, nor the Doctrine of the Roman Church; I believe nothing, I have no faith, no trust, no hope; I am a Reprobate like Cain, or judas, who casting away all hope of mercy, fell into despair; and my friends do me great wrong, that they suffer me not to go to the place of unbelievers as I justly deserve. here they began sharply to rebuke him; requiring, and charging him that in any wise he did not violate the mercy of God; to which he answered: The mercy of God is exceeding large and extends to all the elect; but not to me, or any like to me, who are sealed up to wrath: Rom. 2. 15. I tell you I deserve it, my own conscience condemns me; what needeth any other judge. Christ came (said they) to take away sin, and calling for a book, they read unto him the passion of Christ, and coming to his nailing to the Cross, Spira said: This indeed is comfortable to such as are elected, but as for me wretch, they are nothing but grief and torment, because I contemned them. Thus roaring for grief, & tossing himself up & down upon the bed as he lay, he entreated them to read no more: As Gribauldus was coming to see him, Vergerius said to Spira, dear Sir here is Doctor Gribauldus, a godly and faithful friend of yours, come to see you: He is welcome (said he) but he shall find me ill: Gribauldus replied, Sir, this is but an illusion of the devil, who doth what he can to vex you; but turn you to God with your whole heart, and he is ready to show you mercy; the earth you know is full of his mercy; it is He that hath said, Ps. 119. that as often as a sinner reputes of his sin, he will remember his sins no more. Consider this in the example of Peter that was Christ's familiar, and an Apostle; and yet denied him thrice with an oath, and yet God was merciful unto him: consider the thief that spent his whole life in wickedness, and for all that, did not God graciously respect him in the last minute of his life? Is the Lords hand now shortened that it cannot save? to this Spira answered; Luk. 27. 61. If Peter grieved and repent, it was because Christ beheld him with a merciful eye; and in that he was pardoned, it was not because he wept, but because God was gracious to him: but God respects not me, and therefore I am a reprobate: I feel no comfort can enter into my heart, there is no place there but only for torments and vexings of spirit: I tell you my case is properly mine own; no man ever was in the like plight, and therefore my estate is fearful. Then roaring out in the bitterness of his spirit, said: It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God: the violence of his passion and action suitable, did amaze many of the beholders; insomuch as some of them said with a whispering voice, that he was possessed; he overhearing it, said: Do you doubt it? I have a whole Legion of devils that take up their dwellings within me, and possess me as their own; and justly too, for I have denied Christ. Whether did you that willingly or not (said they) That is nothing to the purpose (said Spira) Christ saith, whosoever denies me before men, Matt. 10. 33. him will I deny before my Father which is in Heaven: Christ will not be denied, no not in word; and therefore it is enough, though in heart I never denied him. They observing his distemper to arise from the sense and horror of the pains of hell, asked him whether he thought there were worse pains than what he endured for the present; he said, that he knew there were far worse pains than those that he then suffered: Psal. 1. for the wicked shall rise to their judgement, but they shall not stand in judgement: this I tremble to think of: yet do I desire nothing more, then that I might come to that place, where I may be sure to feel the worst, and to be freed from fear of worse to come. I but you are to consider (said one) that those opinions for which you were accused before the Legate were impious; and therefore you are not to think you denied Christ, but rather that you confessed him, acknowledging the infallible truth of the Catholic Church. Truly (said he) when I did deny those opinions, I did think them to be true, & yet I did deny them. Go to (said others) now then believe that they are not. Now I cannot (said he) God will not suffer me to believe them, nor trust in his mercy: What would you have me do? I would fain attain to this power, but cannot, though I should presently be burnt for it. But why do you (said the other) esteem this so grievous a sin, when as the learned Legate constrained you to it, which he surely would not have done, if your former opinions had not been Erroneous: no, good Francis, the devil besets thee, let not therefore the grievousness of thy sin, (if any such be) amaze thee. You say right (replied he) the devil hath possessed me, and God hath left me to his power; for I find I can neither believe the Gospel, nor trust in God's mercy; I have sinned against the holy Ghost; and God by his immutable Decree, hath bound me over to perpetual punishment, without any hope of pardon; Rom. 9 11. and Rom. 4. It is true that the greatness of sin, or the multitude of them, cannot bind God's mercy: all those many sins that in the former part of my life I have committed, then did not so much trouble me, for I trusted that God would not lay them to my charge: but now having sinned against the holy Ghost, God hath taken away from me all power of repentance, & now brings all my sins to remembrance, jam. 2. 10. and thus guilty of one, guilty of all. And therefore it is no matter whether my sins be great or small, few or many; they are such as Christ's blood, nor God's mercy belongs to me: Rom. 9 18. God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy; and whom he will he hardeneth; this is it that gnaws my heart, he hath hardened me; and I find that he daily more and more doth harden me; and therefore I am out of hope: I feel it, and therefore cannot but despair: I tell you, there was never such a monster as I am; never was man alive a spectacle of so exceeding misery: I knew that justification is to be expected by Christ; and I denied, and abjured it; to the end I might keep this frail life from adversity, and my children from poverty; and now behold, how bitter this life is to me; and God only knows, what shall become of this my family; but surely no good is likely to betide it, but rather daily worse and worse; and such a ruin at the length as that one stone shall not be left on another. But why should you (said Gribauldus) conceit so deeply of your sin, seeing you cannot but know that many have denied Christ, yet never fell into despair? Well (said he) I can see no ground of comfort for such, neither can I warrant them from God's revenging hand in wrath; though it pleaseth God yet to suffer such to be in peace: and beside, there will a time of change come, and then they shall be throughly tried: and if it were not so, yet God is just in making me an Example to others; and I cannot justly complain: there is no punishment so great but I have deserved it, for this so heinous offence: I assure you it is no small matter to deny Christ; and yet it is more ordinary then commonly men do conceive of: it is not a denial made before a Magistrate as it is with me; for as often as a Christian doth dissemble the known truth, as often as he approves of false worship, by presenting himself at it, so often as he doth not things worthy of his calling, or such things as are unworthy of his calling: so often he denies Christ: thus did I, and therefore am justly punished for it. Your estate (quoth Gribauldus) is not so strange as you make it; job was so far gone, that he complained God had set him as a mark against him: and David that was a man after Gods own heart, complained often that God had forsaken him, and was become his enemy; yet both received comfort again comfort yourself therefore, God will come at length, though he now seem far off. O Brother (answered Spira) I believe all this; the devils believe and tremble; but David was ever elected and dear beloved of God; and though he fell, yet God took not utterly away his holy Spirit; and therefore was heard when he prayed, Lord take not thy holy Spirit from me: but I am in another case, being ever accursed from the presence of God: neither can I pray as he did, because his holy Spirit is quite gone, and cannot be recalled; & therefore I know I shall live in continual hardness so long as I live: O that I might feel but the least sense of the love of God to me, though but for one small moment, as I now feel his heavy wrath that burns like the torments of hell within me, and afflicts my Conscience with pangs unutterable; verily desperation is hell itself. here Gribauldus said, I do verily believe, Spira, that God having so severely chastised you in this life, correcteth you in mercy here, that he may spare you hereafter, and that he hath mercies sealed up for you in time to to come. Nay (said Spira) hence do I know that I am a reprobate, because he afflicteth me with hardness of heart: Oh that my body had suffered all my life long, so that he would be pleased to release my soul, and ease my Conscience, this burdened Conscience. Gribauldus being desirous to ease his mind from the continual meditation of his sin; as also to sound how for the present he stood affected to the Romish Church; asked him what he thought became of the souls of men so soon as they departed out of the body, to which he answered. Although this be not so fully revealed in Scripture; yet I verily believe that the souls of the Elect go presently to the Kingdom of glory; and not that sleep with the body as some do imagine. Very well; said one of the spectators, why do the Scriptures than say, that God brings down to hell, 1 Sam. 2. 6. and raiseth up; seeing it cannot be meant of the estate of the soul after death, which as thou sayest, either goeth to heaven without change, or to hell without redemption: it must be understood of the estate of the soul in this life; like that wherein thou art at this present: and oftentimes we see that God suffers men to fall into the jaws of despair, and yet raiseth them up again, and therefore despair not, but hope; it shall be even thus with thee in his good time. This is the work, (quoth Spira) this the labour; for I tell you, when I at Venice did first abjure my profession, and so, as it were, drew an Indenture, the Spirit of God often admonished me; and when at Cittadella, I did, as it were, set to my seal; the Spirit of God often suggested to me, Do not write Spira, do not seal; yet I resisted the Holy Ghost, and did both; and at that very present I did evidently feel a wound inflicted in my very will, so although I can say, I would believe; yet can I not say I will believe; God hath denied me the power of will; and it befalls me in this my miserable estate, as with one that is fast in irons, and his friends coming to see him, do pity his estate, and do persuade him to shake off his setters, and to come out of his bonds; which God knows he would fain do, but cannot, this is my very case; you persuade me to believe: how fain would I do it, but cannot? O now I cannot. Then violently grasping his hands together, and raising himself up: Behold (said he) I am strong, yet by little and little I decay and consume, and my servants would fain preserve this weary life; but at length the will of God must be done, and I shall perish miserably as I deserve: rejoice ye righteous in the Lord; Psal. 32. 11. blessed are you whose hearts the Lord hath mollified. Then after some pause; It is wonderful, I earnestly desire to pray to God with my heart, yet I cannot; I see my damnation, and I know my remedy is only in Christ, yet I cannot set myself to lay hold on it; such are the punishments of the damned; they confess what I confess, they repent of their loss of heaven, they envy the Elect, yet their repentance doth them no good, for they cannot mend their ways. As he was thus speaking, he observed diverse flies that came about him, and some lighted on him: Behold (said he) now also * Signifies the god of flies. Belzebub comes to his banquet, you shall shortly see my end, and in me an example to many of the justice & judgement of God. About this time came in two Bishops with diverse Scholars of the University, one of them being Paulus Vergerius, having observed Spira more than any other, being continually conversant with him, told him his estate was such, as rather stood in need of Prayer than advice; and therefore desired him to pray with him in the Lord's Prayer; Spira consented, and he began. Our Father which art in heaven,) then breaking forth into tears, he stopped; but they said, it is well, your grief is a good sign: I bewail (said he) my misery, for I perceive I am forsaken of God, and cannot call to him from my heart, as I was wont to do; yet let us go on, said Vergerius. Thy Kingdom come;) O Lord (said Spira) bring me also into this Kingdom; I beseech thee shut me not out. Then coming to those words; Give us this day our daily bread; he added; O Lord, I have enough and abundance to feed this carkeise of mine; but there is another bread, I humbly beg the bread of thy grace; without which, I know I am but a dead man. Lead us not into temptation;) seeing Lord that I am brought into temptation, help me Lord that I may escape; the enemy hath overcome; help me, I beseech thee, to overcome this cruel Tyrant. These things he spoke with a mournful voice, the tears trickling down abundantly; and expressing such affection and passion, as turned the bowels of those there present, with grief and compunction; they then turning to Spira, said: You know that none can call Christ jesus the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost: you must therefore think of yourself according to that soft affection, which you express in your prayers, inferring thereby that God hath not wholly cast you off; or bereft you of his Spirit utterly. I perceive (said Spira) that I call on him to my eternal damnation; for I tell you again, it is a new and unheard of example that you find in me: If In, das (said they) had but outlived his days, which by nature he might have done; he might have repent, and Christ would have received him to mercy; and yet he sinned most grievously against his Master, which did so esteem of him, as to honour him with the dignity of an Apostle, and did maintain and feed him: He answered, Christ did also feed and honour me, neither yet is my fault one jot less than that of his; because it is not more honour to be personally present with Christ in the flesh, then to be in his presence now by illumination of his holy Spirit: and beside, I deny that ever judas could have repent, how long soever he had lived; for grace was quite taken from him, as it is now from me. O Spira (said they) you know you are in a spiritual desertion; you must therefore not believe what Satan suggests; he was ever a liar from the beginning, and a mere Impostor, and will cast a thousand lying fancies into your mind, to beguile you withal; you must rather believe those whom you judge to be in a good estate, and more able to discern of you then your self; believe us, and we tell you, that God will be merciful unto you. O here is the knot (said Spira) I would I could believe; But I cannot. Then he began to reckon up what fearful dreams and visions, he was continually troubled withal; that he saw the devils come flocking into his Chamber, and about his bed, terrifying him with strange noises; that these were not fancies, but that he saw them as really as the standers by; and that besides these outward terrors, he felt continually, a racking torture of his mind, and a continual butchery of his conscience, being the very proper pangs of the damned wights in hell. Cast these fancies (said Gribauldus) these are but illusions, humble yourself in the presence of God, and praise him. The dead praise not the Lord (answered he) nor they that go down into the pit: Psal. 6. 5. we that are drowned in despair, are dead and are already gone down into the pit: what hell can there be worse than desperation; or what greater punishment? the gnawing worm, unquenchable fire, horror; confusion, and (which is worse than all) desperation itself continually tortures me; and now I count my present estate worse than if my soul (separated from my body) were with judas and the rest of the damned; and therefore, I now desire rather to be there, then thus to live in the body. One being present, repeated certain words out of the Psalms: Psal. 89. 30. If thy children forsake my law and walk not in my judgements; I will visit their transgressions with rods, and their iniquities with stripes; nevertheless my loving kindness I will not utterly take from them, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail: Mark this, O Spira, my Covenant I will not break. These promises (said Spira) belong only to the elect, which if tempted, may fall into sin, but are again lifted up and recovered out: as the Prophet saith, though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord uphouldeth him: Therefore Peter could rise, for he was Elected, but the reprobate when they fall cannot rise again, as appears in Cain, Saul, and judas: God deals one way with the Elect, and another way with Reprobates. The next day he prayed with them in the Latin tongue, and that with excellent affection, as outwardly appeared, blessed be God (said Vergerius) these are no signs of eternal reprobation: you must not O Spira, seek out the secret counsels of God's election and reprobation, for no man can know so long as he lives, whether by his good or bad deeds, he be worthy of God's love or anger: Eccles. 9 1. Psal. 88 14. do you not know that the Prophet David complained, that God had cast off his Soul. I know all this (quoth Spira) I know the mercies of God are infinite, and do surpass the sins of the whole world, and that they are effectual to all that believe, but this faith, and this hope, is the gift of God; O that he would give it me; but it is as impossible as to drink up the Sea at a draught: as for that of Solomon, if he had ever tried that which I feel by woeful experience; he would never have spoken as he did; but the truth is, never had mortal man, such an evident experience of God's anger and hatred against him, as I have; you that are in a good estate, think repentance and faith to be works of great facility, and therefore you think it an easy matter to persuade a man to believe; the whole need not the Physician; and he that is well, can soon give counsel to such as are ill; but this is the hell to me, my heart is hardened, I cannot believe; many are called, but few are chosen. Upon what grounds (said they) do you conceive so ill an opinion of yourself? I once did know God to be my Father, not only by creation; but by regeneration, I knew him by his beloved Son, the author and finisher of our Salvation; I could pray to him, and hope for pardon of sins from him; I had a taste of his sweetness, peace, and comfort: now contrarily, I know God not as a Father but as an enemy; what more? my heart hates God, and seeks to get above him: I have nothing else to fly to but terror & despair. Belike you think then (said they) that those who have the earnest and first fruits of God's Spirit, may notwithstanding fall away? The judgements of God are a deep abyss, (said he) we are soon drowned if we enter into them; he that thinks he standeth, let him take heed lest he fall: as for myself, I know I am fall'n back; and that I once did know the truth; though it may be not so throughly: I know not what else to say, but that I am one of that number, which God hath threatened to tear in pieces. Say not so (answered they) for God may come, though at the last hour; keep hold therefore, at the least by hope. This (quoth he) is my case I tell you I cannot, God hath deprived me of hope; this brings terror to my mind, and pines this hodie which now is so weak, as it cannot perform the several offices thereof: Rom. 8. 16. for as the Elect have the Spirit testifying that they are the sons of God, so the Reprobates even while they live, do often feel a worm in their conscience, whereby they are condemned already, and therefore as soon as I perceived this wound inflicted on my mind and will, I I knew that I wanted the gifts of saving grace, and that I was utterly undone; 1 Cor. 11. 33. God chasteneth his children with temporary afflictions, Rom. 1. 28. that they may come as gold out of the fire; but pupunisheth the wicked with blindness in their understandings, & hardness of heart; and woe be to such, from whom God takes his holy Spirit. Here one rebuked him, and told him, he gave too much credit to sense, that he was not to believe himself, but rather him that was in a good estate, and I testify to you (said he) that God will be merciful to you. Nay (answered he) for because I am in this ill estate; therefore can I believe nothing but what is contrary to my salvation and comfort; but you that are so confident of your good state, look that it be true, for it is no such small matter to be assured of sincerity: a man had need be exceeding strongly grounded in the Truth, before he can be able to affirm such a matter as you now do; it is not the performance of a few outward duties, but a mighty constant labour, with all intention of heart and affection; with full desire and endeavour, continually to set forth God's glory; there must be neither fear of Legates, Inquisitors, Prisons, nor any death whatsoever; many think themselves happy that are not; it is not every one that saith, Lord, Lord; that shall go to heaven. They came another day and found him with his eyes shut, as if he had been drowsy, and very loath to discourse; at which time there came in also a grave man from Cittadella; who demanded of Spira, if he knew him, Matth. 7. 22. or not; he lifting up his eyelids and not suddenly remembering him, the man said to him; I am Presbyter Antony Fontanina; I was with you at Venice, some 8. weeks since: O cursed day (said Spira) O cursed day: O that I had never gone thither, would God I had then died. Afterwards came in a Priest called Bernardinus Sardoneus: bringing with him a book of Exorcisms, to conjure this devil: whom when Spira saw, shaking his head he said: I am verily persuaded indeed, that God hath left me to the power of the devils: but such they are, as are not to be found in your Litany: neither will they be cast out by spells: The Priest proceeding in his intended purpose; with a strange uncouth gesture, and a loud voice, adjured the Spirit to come into Spira's tongue, and to answer: Spira deriding his fruitless labour, with a sigh turned from him. A Bishop being there present, said to Spira, brother God hath put virtue into the Word and Sacraments: and we have used the one means, and find not that effect which we desire: shall we try the efficacy of the Sacraments, surely if you take it as a true Christian ought to receive, the body and blood of Christ, it will prove a sovereign medicine for your sick soul. This I cannot do (answered he) for they that have no right to the promises, have no right to the seals: the Eucharist was appointed only for believers: if we have not faith, we eat and drink judgement to ourselves: 1 Cor. 11. 29. I received it about a month since, but I did not well in so doing, for I took it by constraint, and so I took it to my deeper condemnation. Here Vergerius began to importune him earnestly to beware, that he did not wilfully resist grace, & put himself out of haven: charging him vehemently, by all the love that was between them: by the love which he bore to his children, yea to his own soul: that he would set himself seriously, to return to that faith and hope, which once he had in the death of Christ, with many such like words: Spira having heard much of the like matter formerly: & being somewhat moved, said, You do but repeat Vergerius, what should I hope? why should I believe? God hath taken faith from me: show me then whither I shall go: show me a haven whereto I shall retire: you tell me of God's mercy, when as God hath cast me off: you tell me of Christ's intercession, I have denied him: you command me to believe, I say I cannot: you bring me no comfort: your command is as impossible for me to obey, as to keep the Moral Law: if you should persuade one to love God, with all his heart, soul and strength; and God gives him not the power, can he perform your desire? doth not the church teach us to sing; direct us, O Lord, to love thy commandments: hypocrites say that they love God with all their heart, but they lie: for my part, I will not lie, but tell you plainly; such is my case, that though you should never so much much importune me to hope or believe, though I desire it, yet I cannot: for God (as a punishment of my wickedness) hath taken away from me all his saving graces; faith, hope, and all: I am not the man therefore that you take me for: belike you think I delight in this estate; if I could conceive but the least spark of hope of a better estate hereafter, I would not refuse to endure the most heavy weight of the wrath of that great God; yea, for twenty thousand years, so that I might at length attain to the end of that misery, which I now know will be eternal; but I tell you, my will is wounded: who longs more to believe than I do? but all the groundwork of my hope is quite gone; for if the testimonies of holy Scripture be true (as they are most certainly true) is not this as true: whosoever denies me before men, him (saith Christ) will I deny before my Father which is in heaven? is not this properly my case, as if it had purposely been intended against this very person of mine? & I pray you, what shall become of such as Christ denieth; seeing there is no other Name under heaven, whereby you look to be saved? what saith Saint Paul to the Hebrews? Heb. 6. It is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, & were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, if they fall away, to be renewed to repentance: what can be more plain against me? Is not that Scripture also; if we sin wilfully after we have received the Knowledge of the truth, and 10. 26. there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin; but a certain looking for of judgement: the Scripture speaks of me, Saint Paul means me, S. Peter tells me, Pet. 2. 21. it had been better I had not known the way of Righteousness, then after I have known, to turn from the holy commandment: if it had been better I had not known, and yet then my condemnation had been most certain: do you not see evidently, that I have wilfully denied the known truth; may justly expect not only damnation, but worse, if worse may be imagined: God will have me undergo the just punishment of my sin, and make me an example of his wrath for your sakes. The company present, admired his discourse, so grievously accusing himself of his forepast life; so gravely and wisely dilating, concerning the judgements of God, that they then were convinced, that it was not frenzy or madness, that had possessed him: and being as it were, in admiration of his estate, Spira proceeded again in this manner, Take heed to yourselves, it is no light or easy matter to be a Christian; it is not baptism, or reading of the Scriptures, or boasting of faith in Christ (though even these are good) that can prove one to be an absolute Christian: you know what I said before, there must be a conformity in life; a Christian must be strong, unconquerable, not carrying an obscure profession, but resolute; expressing the image of Christ, and holding out against all opposition to the last breath: he must give all diligence by righteousness, and holiness, to make his calling and election sure; many there are that snatch at the promises in the Gospel, as if they undoubtedly did belong to them, and yet they remain sluggish, and careless, and being flattered by the things of this present world, they pass in their course in quietness and security, as if they were the only happy men; whom nevertheless the Lord in his providence hath ordained to eternal wrath; as you may see in S. Luke's rich man, Luk. 16. thus it was with me, therefore take heed. Then came one of his Nephews and offered him some sustenance, which he disdainfully refusing, so moved the youngmans' choler, that he charged him with hypocrisy and dissimulation, or frenzy; to whom Spira gravely answering, said: You may interpret the matter as you will; but I am sure, I am not only the Actor, but the argument, and matter of the Tragedy; I would it were frenzy, either feigned or true; for if it were feigned, I could put it off at pleasure; if it were a real frenzy, yet there were some hope left of God's mercy, whereas now there is none; for I know that God hath pronounced me an enemy, and guilty of high Treason against his Majesty; I am a castaway, a vassal of wrath: yet dare you call it dissembling and frenzy; and can mock at the formidable example of the heavy wrath of God, that should teach you fear and terror; but it is natural to the flesh, either out of malice or ignorance, to speak perversely of the works of God, the natural man discerneth not of the things that are of God, because they are spiritually discerned. How can this be (said Gribauldus) that you can thus excellently discourse of the judgements of God, and of the graces of his holy Spirit, that you find the want of them, and earnestly desire them; and yet you think you are utterly deprived of them. Take this for certain (said he) I want the main grace of all, and that which is absolutely necessary; and God doth many times extort most true and strange testimonies of his Majesty's justice and mercy; yea out of the mouths of very reprobates, for even judas, after he had betrayed his Master, Mat. 27. 4. was constrained to confess his sin, and to justify the innocence of Christ; and therefore if I do the like, it is no new or strange matter: God hath taken faith from me, and left me other common gifts, for my deeper condemnation; by how much the more I remember what I had, and hear others discourse of what they have, by so much the more is my torment, in that I know what I want, and how there is no way to be relieved. Thus spoke he, the tears all the while trickling down; professing that his pangs were such, as that the damned wights in hell endure not the like misery; that his estate was worse, then that of Cain or judas; and therefore he desired to die: yet behold (saith he) the Scriptures are accomplished in me; Rev. 9 6. they shall desire to die, and death shall fly from them; and verily, he seemed exceedingly to fear, lest his life should be drawn out to a longer thread: and finding no ease, or rest, ever and anon cried out: O miserable wretch; O miserable wretch; then turning to the Company; he besought them in this manner. O Brethren, take a diligent heed to your life; make more account of the gifts of God's spirit than I have done, learn to beware my misery, think not you are assured Christians, because you understand something of the Gospel; take heed you grow not secure on that ground; be constant and immovable in the maintaining of your profession, confess even until death if you be called thereto: he that loveth father, Luk. 14. 26. mother, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, kindred, houses, lands, more than Christ, is not worthy of him. These words (said they) do not sound like the words of a wicked Reprobate. I do but herein imitate (said Spira) the rich Glutton in the Gospel, who though in hell; yet was careful that his brethren should not come to that place of torment: and I say to you Brethren, take heed of this miserable estate wherein I am. Then turning himself to certain young men that were present, he desired them to conceive him aright: I do not speak this, to derogate from the certainty of saving faith, and the promises of the Gospel, for they are most sure; but take heed of relying on that Faith that works not a holy and unblameable life, worthy of a believer; credit me, it will fail, I have tried it: I presumed I had gotten the right faith, I preached it to others, I had all places of Scripture in memory, that might support it: I thought myself sure, and in the mean time, living impiously and carelessly, behold, now the judgements of God have overtaken me, not to correction, but to condemnation; and now you would have me to believe, but it will not be; for I feel too late; that good things belong only to such as are good; whose sins are covered with Christ's death and blood, as with a veil, and guarded with his righteous merits from the flood of Gods warth, even as with a mighty wall; left miserable mortals should be swallowed up with the greatness of their sins: But as for me, I have as it were wilfully with mine hands pulled down this rampire; behind which I might have rested in safety; and now are the swelling waters come even to my soul: and I am cast away. One of his familiar friends chanced to say, that certainly he was overcome with melancholy; which being overheard, Spira answered: Well, be it so, seeing you will needs have it so; for thus also is God's wrath manifested against me in that he hath taken from me the use of mine understanding and reason, so as I can neither rightly esteem and judge of my distemper, nor hope of remedy: you see Brethren, what a dangerous thing it is, to stop or stay in things that concern God's glory: especially to dissemble upon any terms: what a fearful thing is it to be near, and almost a Christian; never was the like example to this of mine: and therefore if you be wise, you will seriously consider thereof; Oh that God would let loose his hand from me; that it were with me now, as in times past; I would scorn the threats of the most cruel Tyrants, bear torments with invincible resolution, and glory in the outward profession of Christ, till I were choked in the flame, and my body consumed to ashes. You say you are desperate, O Spira (said they) why then do you not strive with some weapon or other, violently to make an end of your life, as desperate men use to do? Let me have a sword (said Spira) why what would you do with it (quoth they) I cannot tell you (said he) what this mind would move me to upon occasion; nor what I would do. They perceiving small effect of all this their labour; but rather that he grew worse: for the avoiding of concourse of people; for every day seldom fewer than 20▪ continued with him, & to stop the course of fame, which was continually blown abroad of him; they consult to carry him back again into his own country: and those his friends that came to comfort him, began to take their leaves of him: Vergerius among the rest, required that at their parting they might pray together with him: Spira hardly consented, and as unwillingly performed: for he said, My heart is estranged from God, I cannot call him Father from my heart; all good motions are now quite gone, my heart is full of malediction, hatred, and blasphemy against God; I find I grow more and more hardened in heart, and cannot stoop nor help myself; your prayers for me shall turn to your own benefit, they can do me no good. Vergerius came to take his leave of him, whom Spira embracing, said, Although I know that nothing can bring any benefit to me a Reprobate; but that every thing shall tend to my deeper condemnation; yet I give you most hearty thanks, for your kind office of love and good will; and the Lord return it unto you with a plentiful increase of all good. The next day being brought down to his intended journey, by the way looking round about him with a ghastly look, he saw a knife lying on a Table, to which he running hastily snatched hold of; as intending to mischief himself; but his friends laying hold of him, stopped him in his purpose: whereupon with indignation, he said, I would I were, above God, for I know he will have no mercy on me. Thus went he homewards, often saying, that the envied the condition of Cain and judas: he lay about 8. weeks in this case, in a continual burning, neither desiring, nor receiving any thing but by force, and that without digestion: so spent, that he appeared a perfect Anatomy; expressing to the view, nothing but sinews and bones; vehemently raging for drink; ever pining, yet fearful to live long; dreadful of hell, yet coveting death; in a continual torment, yet his own tormentor: and thus consuming himself with grief and horror, impatience, & despair; like a living man in Hell; he represented an extraordinary example of the justice and power of God: and thus (as far as appeareth) within a few days after his arrival at his own home, he departed this present life. Yet an occasion to make us remember, that secret things belong unto the Lord our God; but charity to man, to teach him to hope all things. EXtraordinary examples of Divine justice, God never intended for a nine days wonder: else would he when he exemplified Lot's wife have turned her into a statue of melting snow, not of lasting salt; which stood as josephus tells us, till his age, after the destruction of jerusalem: and as some Traveller's report, till at this day: ut quoddam hominibus praestaret condimentum quo sapiant unde illud caveatur exemplum; Aug. de. civet. Dei. lib. 16. c. 30. for a season against corruption, a preservative against Apostasy. This Tragedy, when fresh and new, was the conversion and confirmation of sundry Worthies: Vergerius a daily spectator thereof, forsaking a rich Bishopric of justinopolis, and tents of Antichrist; went to Basil, and died a worthy Protestant: many Nations had Eye-witnesses of their own Students, then in the University of Milan who penned the Story, the Copies whereof are frequently revived: our English ones were very defective, and now worn out of shops and hands, sundry manuscripts of this abroad imperfect; which moved me to compare this labour of a worthy Gentleman (who faithfully translated it out of Italian, French, and Dutch Letters) with the Latin of Caelius Secundus, Curio, Mattheus Gribauldus, professors of the Civil Law in Milan: Sigismond Jealous a Transylvanian, Henricus Scotus, all daily visitors of Spira, and find it accord with them. Touching Spiraes' person, I find (most learned writers) to incline to the right, and hopeful hand: moved by his sweet, humble, and charitable speeches: some few desperate ones excepted, that fell from him in some little agonies, which kept him fasting and watching about six months space, eating nothing but what was forced down his throat. The sum of Calvins' and Borrhaus their their counsels (who writ largely of the use of this pattern) is that all learn to take heed of backsliding, which Gods soul abhors; and not to dally with Conscience, and hell on earth, if justly incensed; more to be feared then the Spanish Inquisition, or all the Strappadoes and torments in the world; and to take heed of Spira's principal Errors; which were to dispute with Satan over busily in time of weakness: especially to reason, and conclude from present sense: to God's past Reprobation, and future Damnation: both which is hard, if possible for any man to determine in his own, much more in others cases: so commending thee to his grace who is able to establish thee to the end: I bid thee farewell, and hope well, while the space of Grace lasteth, Dum spiras spera: so mayest thou take good and no hurt, by the reading of this terrible example. FINIS. Decemb. 2. 1637. Imprimatur Tho▪ Wykes. R. P. Episc. Lond. Cap. Domest.