To the right noble Gentleman, Master Philipp Sidney Esquire, Stephan Gosson wisheth health and happiness.  
IT was a custom, right worshipful, among the Heathens, when they had travailed the Seas, and escaped the danger, to sacrifice some part of their treasure to that god, which they judged to be their deliverer: And sith it hath been my fortune to bear sail in a storm, since my first publishing the School of Abuse, and too be tossed by such as some without reason, and threaten me death without a cause, feeling not yet my finger ache, I can not but acknowledge my safety, in your Worship's patronage, and offer you Phialo my chiefest jewel, as a manifest pledge of my thankful heart. Notwithstanding if the value answer not your expectation, accept my good will, which hold out my hand to do my best: little children, that draw but a hazel stick, think they perform as much as he, that shoots every shaft in a bow of steel. I confess that Phialo is too blunt for the court if you judge his conditions by his coat, for the skin of the Fox is not comparable to the Leopard, yet that is no sign that he wanteth wit. Though Phialo present himself barely to your worship's view, when my skill will not suffer me to pounce him out, yet such as he is, I dare affirm, that cloth and carcase is at your commandment. The pardon he craves is for his simplicity, which hath been somewhat homely brought up like a rude Macedon, and taught too call a spade, a spade without any glozing. Wherein I judge him the more to be esteemed, because he useth no going about the bush, but treads Dunstable way in all his travel. For such as have tried the conclusion, know, that he which baiteth his hooks with medicinable drugs, catcheth the greatest store of fish; yet are they not toothesome, nor good to be brought unto the table: And he that tempers his speech with art, smootheth his style wi●● a double tongue, shall quickly have infinite swarms of friends, but angle with poison, and do much hurt. The Days works of Phialo, which spendeth his time in profitable disputation among his friends, I have called his Ephemerides, after the manner of the greeks; humbly requesting your worship to vouchsafe them the reading, because you are learned; & to yield them your patronage, sith they carry some taste of the University.  
Your Worships to command. S. G.   

¶ Literarum Studiosis in Oxoniensi Academia Steph. Gosson Sal.  
EA est (egregij Philosophi) Academiae severitas in judicijs; & multitudinis temeritas in assensu; ut, quae vobis obijciuntur, rationis statera; quae huic occurunt, opinionis trutina perpendantur. Apud vos qui contorta dissoluit, qui distinguit ambigua, qui Metrodorum configit, qui eruit abstrusa, & altiores in natura sulcos agit, solus coronam demeretur. Apud hanc, qui formam, qui fu●um, qui Veneris pigmenta cantat, acclamatione recipitur & applausu. Videte, quaeso, quomodo mihi ista cogitanti, & Phiali Diaria in lucem emittere cupienti, utriusque spectra faces ardentes intentarunt, qui bus, ab instituto facilèdeterrerer, nisi me vestra humanitas è tantis angustijs emanciparet. Aliquot iam menses sunt elapsi, cùm ego in Poëtarum, Fidicinum atqueve Histrionum ineptias graviter invehebam, quo negotio, quia profligatis hominibus in Epicureorum reorum hortulis apricantibus, Solem ac Coelum interclusi, mei nominis existimationem effraenatè invaserunt. Verùm, quia rumoribus pugnant, cùm argumenta expectemus, non possumus tam inani crepitu perterreri. Quid enim est quod acutuli isti hohomines pungunt? quid premunt? quid asserunt? Gossonum eiecisse Poësin in exilium: fabrè; Scholas, Academias, Musarum domicilta, Philosophorum coetum & Senatum reclamare: Papè, iugulârunt hominem. Non sum ita rerum optimarum rudis, ut negem aliquando Poësin esse numerum, numerum ordinem, ordinem de coelo, quasi de iugo sapientiae defluxisse. Nihilo tamen magis ista probant Poëtas omnes esse divinos, quàm Medicos omnes, Aesculapios. Fateor ego, fabularum involucris multa non contemnenda adumbrari, sed somnia sunt ista, quae succos de foece hauriendos propinârunt. Nolo Poësin verborum suppellectile, vel suavitate fidium, sed rerum harmonia judicari: nec Poëtam illum sertis redimiri, qui carmina ad digitorum terminos studiosè panxerit, sed cuius animus cum ordine, vita cum scriptis conspirauerit. Auidè sibi hoc homines famelic● arripiunt, me qui Poëtas reprehendo, Poëtae partes suscepisse, & dictasse ijs versus quos in Theatris recitarunt. At prae stupore non intelligunt, nos ea studia iwentutis aestu persequi, quae flexu aetatis nauseamus, & quae desideria eo temporis flore, quasi verè tepefacta pullulant, maturiori judicio circumcîdi. Laudant Agricolae eas arbores, quae se ita profundunt, ut resecentur; & malumus omnes amputare nimia, quàm nova serere. Spero me in adolescentiae delicijs cum Poëtae personam sustinerem, moribus ijs enituisse, qui frugem virtutis nutricarent, & futurae industriae culmum erigerent. Quod si, ut isti volunt, delinitus impegerim, non est refragandum enatanti: Malo semel emergere, quàm haerere semper. Conceditur ara fugienti, deprecanti medicina. Non sumus ex aere Corinthio fabrefacti, ut tardè admodùm intabescamus, & ocyssimè expiemur. Me suadent haec tempora, priora studia non exuere solùm, sed abijcere; & maturè ad metam collineare. Illi verò qui meum consilium malè probant, pergant, quâ caeperint, & Poëtis inhient, non officio; si omnia sic desiderio condiant, ut immoderata siti aestuantes, turbidas aquas iucundè ingurgitent, sua voluptate perfruantur; mihi fontium perennitas arridebit. Itaqueue ne diffluamus otio, diarijs istis maiora quaedam latinè molior, quae emanabunt aliquando, & meum in vos animum eminenter expriment. Vale te Londini 5. Kalend. Novemb. 1579.  
Stephanus Gosson.   

To the Reader.  
GEntlemen & others I could wish it, that I had that virtue in my pen, which the Bear hath in her tongue, too lick out mye whelps in some proportion, when I have cast them in a rude lump. But I see my cunning serves me so ill, that whilst I desire to perfect my work, I am constrained with Apelles too set it out, where every beholder may view it at will, and tell me his mind when he sees a fault. Many hands make light work. Copy of Precepts breed an Arte. Where sundry woorkmen show themselves, a rare device is brought to light. Read and run over, I give you leave, I set it down to none other end. divers are the studies of men in one School, some follow Philosophy, some the tongues some are contented with meaner Lectures; infinite wares in one fair, where the Soldier approacheth to cheapen a Sword, the wanton inquireth for a glass. And I know that in Books, as in open fields, every man pursueth that game that he liketh best: a noble mind will chase the heart, but fools pick Daisies if they may found them. Therefore if idle Drones assail me, let them know that I show no sport for them, my desire is, to seek out meat for manly stomachs. I have seen what Cankers shoot aloft, where amorous toys are daily sown. He that troubleth the Spring where you should drink, may be turned to a Frog if juno frown. Such as flatter the Reader with vain delights, bear the shape of a monster in their hearts, and are to be fled as dangerous shelves. Those storms that forbidden us to shoot into harbour, are more to be feared then those that discourage us too hoist our sail; and those discourses are worst of all, that hinder our passage when we travel home, & seek for the end in which we should rest. As I writ not this for mine own behoof, to justify that which I do myself, of too spurn at other that have gone before me; So I hope you will take it for a lawful excuse, that I writ not so loosely as some desire. I have been requested by some of my friends to take longer time, and increase my volume, wherein I perceive they understand not that the Countryman casteth his seed very thin, yet findeth his barns to be filled by them. That the spirit of man, in the straightest Trumpet hath greatest sound; blown through a barrel, makes no noise. But sith they had rather see their hands full of Paper, than their heads full of knowledge, I let them go. And trusting too the courtesy of you that are skilful Gentlemen, I have performed my promise, and discharged my hands, given Phialo his passport, and sent him to you.  
Farewell. Yours, Stephan Gosson.   

The Ephemerides of Phialo.  
VARRO reporteth, that they which did sacrifice to Hercules, used continually before they began their Ceremonies, to drive their dogs out of the city. And I think it necessary, before I set down the discourses of Phialo, as the fruit of my travel sacrificed here unto skilful Readers, to whip out those Dogs, which have barked more at me for writing the School of Abuse, than Cerberus did at Hercules for descending to Hell; and have laboured with the venom of their teeth to wound me deeper, than that cursed Cur, which was the death of Licinius, and the cause of a battle, wherein Hercules lost his brother Iphiclus. It is not long since, 
A Libel ca●● out against the School of abuse.  a friend of mine presented me with strange news out of Africa, requesting me earnestly to shape them an answer. After I had unfolded the Paper, and found nothing within but guts and garbage, neither heart nor liver, nor any good entrails, I called too mind the reply that Apelles made to a course Painter, which brought him a counterfeit of his own drawing, requesting his judgement in the work; Truly, quoth Apelles, hadst thou not told me it had been thine, at the first blush I would have judged it to be done in haste. And had not the writer himself, which sent these news into England, revealed his name to some of his friends by whom I heard it, I would have judged such a Daw to be hatched in Barbary, & the tidings that came, to be scribbled in ●ost. Commodus the Emperor coming to Rome, in the face of the whole senate, began with a grave countenance to declaim: When every man looked for some weighty matter touching the government of the common wealth, he fell to trifling; & told them, that riding abroad one day with his father, who at that time was cast from his horse, himself alighted & holy him out of the mire. This Doctor of Afrique with a strange kind of style begins to writ thus: To his friends the Players, & to 〈◊〉 rare, at the first like a perfect Orator, he sits down in his study, looks about for his books, takes pen in his hand, & as mannerly as he can, breathes out this oracle from the threefootedstoole of Pythia: Africa semper aliquid apportat novi, There is ever a new knack in a knaves hood, or some kind of monster to be seen in Africa. To which principle when he thinketh he hath given sufficient light, by the joining together of sundry beasts, his friends gaping for some strange conceit to bring to the stage, find him to dally: for with a tale of a tub, he slippeth down presently into a dirty comparison of a dutch Mule & an english mare, that engendered an Ass, & to cast his foal quickly (with a devout prayer to God, to sand players few asses, & many auditors) he grows to conclusion, behaving himself in his learned Paraphrase like Megabizus, who came into Apelles' shop & began to talk of his shadows, till the painter reproved him in this manner: Hadst thou kept silence O Megabizus, I would have reverenced thee for thy gay coat; now the worst boy that grindeth my colours will laugh thee to scorn. And I, if this Geographer had stayed his pen within the compass of Africa, would have read him with patience for the country's sake, but now the lest child which is able to temper his ink, will give him a flout. If Players get no better Attorney to plead their case, I will hold me contented where the Hardest is hard, too take Oats of ill debtor in part of payment.  
Touching the fruitfulness of his Mule, which is not agreeable unto kind, because the coldness of seed kills the power of engendering, I could found him sport by Philosophy, if I were disposed to play with his nose, or to cast any thing but draff to Swine. But I intend not to answer him, jest I kick with Cresiphon, when my Mule win●eth. As long as he rails, he profits not; as long as he dotes, he hurts not; Let him say what he will, he shall not cut me; Let him writ what he please, he shall not kill me; and favour him that list, they shall not grieve me; it is but kind for a Cock head, to breed a Comb; and a rash wit, a raw devise. Though the Mariner have skill to govern his vessel, it lieth not in his cunning to calm the seas: though the countryman know how to graff an imp, his toil will not altar the cast of the Crab: Though myself have learned to rule mine own talk, I can not snaffle the tongue of a Carper. Notwithstanding the Sailor cometh safely to harbour, though he be shaken: The husbandman gathereth much pleasant fruit, though his Wylding be sour: And I have no doubt I shall please the wise, though the malicious turn up their gall. The same Solomon which forbids us to answer a fool in his folly, jest we liken ourselves unto him, chargeth us sharply to show him his fault, jest he seem wise in his own conceit. Therefore I have neither replied to the writer of this Libel for losing my time, nor let him go scotfree for making him proud, but pointed to the straw where the Pad lurks, that every man at a glimpse, might descry the beast, and repair to Phialo.  
To deliver you the History as faithfully as I learned it, you shall first understand that Phialo a young Gentleman, & a younger brother, borne in Ferara, and brought up in Sienna, studied there in the University to win that by learning, which he wanted in living: But Fortune in the end so knit her brows, & discharged her shot at the face of him, that his Father died, leaving his portion in the hands of an Abbot in Ferara, of whom I dare neither speak as I should, nor complain as I would, nor cry out as the cause itself requires. For, withholding that which he aught to distribute, he stopped the conduit and cut of the pipes, that conveyed such liquor to Phialo as was necessary. Whereupon the poor gentleman perceiving himself in danger of death, because he was dry; & unable to strive with the mighty, because he was weak; removed himself to a moister soil, & leaving Sienna, came unto Venice, where after the death of his father, he withered as fast, as he bloomed before in the time of his life. And Philotimo a noble gentleman of a quick wit and a ripe judgement, which ever delighted in the company of Phialo, was pluck from the University, and sent to Ferara, to serve in the Court, not long before the death of Phialoes' father, where though he had cast his Philosopher's head, and seemed so bathed in Heraclitius flood, that he was almost changed to an other nature, yet in all his ruff showing the sparks of a noble mind the higher he sat, the lower he looked, the farther he saw himself from Sienna, the more he renewed the remembrance of Phialo; And forgetting no courtesy in the Court, inquired so long for his old friend, that hearing at the last both of the untimely decease of the father from life, and the unfortunate departure of the Son from his Book; with dropping eyes distilled into tears, and a sorrowful heart resolved into blood, he withdrew himself presently from the Court, and posted to Venice as fast as he could. Being entered the City, and very desirous too seek out his friend, suddenly he espied Phialo coming from the Rialto with a Merchant of England: and stepping too them both with many courtly greetings broke of their talk. Phialo rejoicing more in his old friend, whose affection he knew; than in his new acquaintance, whom he never tried, with a Vibaccio took his leave of the Merchant, and brought Philotimo to his lodging. When they were entered, both set, and the door shut, Philotimo, with a stern look, and a troubled mind began thus.  
They which are sick of a burning fever, toss and turn from side, to side, to seek rest: but in the end they increase the fit and open a gap to their own peril. I stand in doubt Phialo whither I might rightly compare thee to those that are vexed with this disease, because that removing thy studies and changing thy pastute, whilst thou desirest to be every where, thou art no where; & like a graff planted in many grounds, wilt become barren. Hath thy father wasted his treasure on thee in Sienna, that thou shouldest misspend thy time in Venice? Have thy friends hoped so long for a plentiful harvest, that they should he constrained to gather weeds? Have I sounded the Trumpet with thy commendations, to begin this vain skirmish with a false Alarm? Hast thou from thy youth been trained up in learning, that after thou hast given a good soap to the pail, thou shouldst kick it down curstly with thy beeles? Is this the end of our travel? the fruit of thy study? O, how much better had it been for thee never to have ripened, then so soon to have rotten? I perceive now that all is not Gold in thee which glistereth, every hooked nose doth not argue a Conqueror; nor every fine wit a stated Philosopher. Thou makest thyself but an empty Barrel, yielding to the ears of thy friends a sharp sound, & nothing else. Thou hast promised much, and performed little: thou saidst thou wouldst bury thyself in Philosophy, but thou livest here in Venice a college of Courtesans. 
Orat. pro Caelio.  Tully thinketh it an invincible Bulwark and sufficient purgation for M. Caelius, that he could have no acquaintance with wicked Clodia, because he was given to his book, & had made a learned Oration in the Senate house, which could not be done without great study. And where the mind is so busied, all sports are tedious, all delights irksome, all company loathsome: As if he should say: He that loiters not, loves not; he that loves not, is no companion for Clodia, Therefore to gather an argument of the contrary, because thou spendest thy time in this Town, I may well conclude that it is impossible for the● to profit in Learning, which seekest to be fostered in such a stews. Venus herself when she passed Eurota, cast away her Comb and her brush, her Glass & her Liepot, and took up a javelin. And if thou desire to pass by Eurota, or grow up in knowledge, shake of this City as Venus' dregs; take up thy tools and return to Sienna; settle thyself and slip no more; A rolling stone gathers no moss, & a running head will never thrive.  
Phialo thoroughly nettled with this strange kind of greeting, scratched many times where it ytched not, and bustling very often with proffers to speak, stopped suddenly; not unlike to a young colt, which at the first prick plungeth as though he felt no ground, but when he hath champed a while on the bit, and chafed a little in his own grease; stands still, & begins to found a better pace. Thus Phialo vexed with the fresh remembrance of a new grief, angry with Philotimo for his taunts, yet considering at last to what end he spoke, when he had sufficiently chewed his cud, and sweat as he sat, recovered himself with this reply.  
signor Philotimo, yourself is as welcome to me in Venice, as your words are unwelcome to mine ears. You admonish me as a friend, and duty ●indeth me to thank you for your good will: Nevertheless, sith you make your Plaster so sharp, and apply it to my wound in an ill time, for the one I cannot but accuse you of rashness; for the other I am forced to reprove you of ignorance; meaning hence forth to take you as I found, which is other wise than I thought, a bad Apothecary, and a worse Physician. Plutarch forbiddeth you to rebuke your friend either in mirth or in misery: in mirth; because it straiteneth the senses, choketh the heart, stops the passage of the spirits, and overcasteth the mind, with a cloud of sorrow. In misery; because we have more need to be restored, than brought low; to be strengthened, than weakened; to be comforted, than corrected; to be raised up, than hurled down. When the flesh chafes, the wound pricks; the sore shoots, when the body shakes; the disease grows, when the mind grieves. Therefore Crates the philosopher which was dogged of nature, & in all his rebukes as overthwart, as Diogenes, taunting bitterly; when he saw Demetrius Phalereus in his banishment live poorly at Thebes; softened his speech, gave him fair words, and friendly comfort smoothly disputing of the fruits of exile, and approving by reason that there could be no wretchedness in such a life. Insomuch that Demetrius who fearing at the first to be upbraided, and looking for a peal that should not like him, would have shunned his company, contrary too his expectation finding such sweetness in his talk, rejoiced greatly in his conference, and began to be sorry, that he met him no sooner. But Euctus and Eulaeus, the friends of Persa, when they saw him failed by the Romans, and so overthrown in the battle at Pydna, that he was forced to turn his back, rated & checked him in the midst of his sorrows, till sobbing at the heart, for his ill fortune; and moved to wrath, by the bitterness of their rebukes; as one overwhelmed with a double grief, he slew them both. And trust me Philotimo mourning here solitary for my fall, seeing myself teinted, where I should be anointed; burnt, where I should be balmed; cut, where I should be closed; I stand almost at utter defiance with thy friendship, and am presently ready as a man desperate, little esteeming which end goeth forward, to abandon thy company, to forsake Venice, to forswear my country, to set the hare's head to the goose gybblettes, and all that I have at a mum chance. Better had it here for Euctus and Eulaeus by the example of Crates to give heavy Persa a lenitive in his overthrow, to assuage his grief; then a sharp corrosive, to augment his pain: And a friendlier touch had it been of thee, perceiving me drowned in mine own tears, to stretch forth thy hands, too save me half dead; then too thrust out thy tongue, to kill me quick. Had they told Persa, that Fortune ruleth in feats of arms, and victory in war is ever uncertain, that Philip, at one push lost all Macedon; Antiochus, Asia; the Carthaginians, Lybia; that julius Caesar when he had subdued all France, made a conquest of England, returned into Italy, and triumphed in Rome, was s●ayne in the Senate house among his friends; that Fortune is painted with feet and wings, because she comes running, and departs flying, that this days glory was but a prop to the Romans, to set them higher, that too morrow, their fall might be the greater; they had encouraged Persa too renew the battle, and kept themselves harmless. And I am persuaded that if thou hadst played the good Nurse, which seeing her child catch a knock, steps to it presently, not with threatenings, nor rods, nor rebukes, but with gentle entreaty takes it up; dandles it often in her lap; and with many a sweet song, rather giving it a soft ●eate, than a hard stripe, lulles it a sleep to ease the pain; thou hadst cured my sorrow, quenched mine anger, and won me for ever to be thine. Thou little considerest whether I fell wanton by mine own folly, or was suddenly overturned by unruly lubbers; thou condemnest my levity not regarding my necessity; thou hast forgotten that he is forced to go whom the devil drives; & that need maketh every man to troth. If you have not heard of Chrysogono (I mean not him which thrust Sextus Roscius out of his farms in Ameria; but him which defeated me of my living in Sienna, and drove thy poor Phialo out of Hetruria) let this be sufficient to stop thy mouth that it is he, which being an abbot in Ferara, clean contrary too his profession, because he is holy; and to the oath he took at the death of my father, who trusted him farther than he deserved; enjoyeth that by force which is none of his: it is he which should ra-rather help, then hurt; rather give, than take; rather feed then famish; rather cloth the naked, then strip them of all to the bore bones: It is he, which stuffing his bags with the fruits of Learning, alloweth not Philosophers to touch money; but with a full ●orge commends fasting: To be short, Philolotimo it is even he, which keeps that back that should be my maintenance in Sienna; yet art thou so frantic, to bid me return thither again in haste, and follow my study, as if thou shouldest charge me to fight, without weapons, climb without ladders, mount without wings. Hast thou not read that Ex nihilo nihil fit, Nothing doth lie in childbed of Nyfles? How wouldst thou then have me to apply my Book, when the mean as I told thee is taken away?  
Philotimo beholding his friend wistly, the more he delighted in his talk, the more he lamented the loss of his time; and wondering at the pithynesse of his speech, which in all his conference never used a waste word, egged him on to a farther discourse in this manner.  
I remember Phialo, that Plato giveth hearty thanks to Nature, for making him rather a reasonable creature, than a brute beast; a man, than a woman; an Athenien, than a Theban; and chiefly for giving him life in the time of Socrates. Whose example hath humbled me often before God, with dutiful thanks to his divine majesty, for fashioning of me to his own likeness, giving me a mind to conceive, and a tongue to speak, when he might have made me a dumb beast; for making me rather a man, than a woman that is, a Lord, than a slave; an Athenien, than a Theban; a Tuscan, rather than a rude Bergamaske; and last of all, for yielding part of thy studies to me, which like a young Socrates, appliest all thy knowledge too reforming of manners. Therefore as thou haste already begun, approving me by strong arguments, to be both brainsick and unskilful in my proceedings, for dealing so roughly with thee, at such an ill time, go forwards, good Phialo, and show me aswell what I aught to follow, in rebuking my friend, as thou hast declared what I shall fly, that through mine own ignorance, I offend no more. I never resorted to thee yet since our first acquaintance, but ere I departed, I carried some lessons away worth the noting.  
Not so sir (quoth Phialo) It is hard to draw water in a dry soil, or fish out any skill from an empty pond. Socrates affirmeth himself to know nothing: & trust me I see no reason why Plato, which is accounted a great Philosopher, and a searcher of wisdom, 
Socrates' able to teach nothing because he knew nothing.  should rejoice so much to live in his time, which was not able too teach him any more than he knew. If he judge the person more lucky than the man was learned, or think it sufficient to virtue, to have been a student in those days, he little considereth that Alcibiades and Critias were both Scholars too Socrates, yet the one a Traitor, the other a Tyrant. It is not the place we are borne in, that maketh us learned; nor the name of our master that leads us to virtue.  
Thus can I not devise with myself, Philotimo, what it is that should move thee too triumph so much in thine own conceit, because thou art rather an Athenien, than a Theban; a Tuscan, than a Bargamaske, as though all were learned, that came from Athens; or all ignorant, that dwelled at Thebes; or all Courtiers, that are bred in Tuscanie; or all Carters, that are borne in Bargamaske. But most of all I wonder how thou canst possibly suck any fruit from my studies, which are very small, because I have loitered; & stenderly grounded, through want of ability. Sigh thou hast likened me to Socrates, whose Nihil scio is confirmed by Arcesilas, Zeno, Empedocles, Anaxagoras, and the whole rabble of them which pulled out our eyes, that we might not see: and taught us to wander in the dark, giving no credit to their senses, but doubting continually whether snow were white, or the Crow black, I might rip up that controversy of the academics and the Peripatetikes, and show thee by reason, that I know nothing, to drive thee off from the thing which thou longest to hear. Which if I should do, and dote in those things that I daily see, I am fully persuaded, when I call for a Book, Philotimo would presently give me a Brickbatte, to make me distinguish a Stacioners shop, from a Stone wall. Therefore acknowledging myself to be made of a soul, and of a body, the one derived from Heaven, the fountain of Knowledge; the other from Earth, the seat of ignorance; I am driven too confess that I neither know all things, which belongeth too GOD; nor am ignorant in all things, which is proper too Beasts; but am perfect in some things, unskilful in other, which life is only peculiar to man. This doctrine is taught by Aristotle, approved by Foxius, laid open by Tully, and soundly discoursed by Lactantius. Whose arguments, Philotimo, I will not allege, because I see the ignorant which never red them will not understand them; the learned which know them already, will not regard them. And thyself I perceive art more desirous to hear such things, as are profitable to reform manners; than subtle, to stir up dissension in schools. The greatest thing that at this time thou desirest to know, is only this: Which way thou mightest behave thyself to rebuke thy friend in his fault without offence. A busy province no doubt for a simple wit, and such a burden as Hercules might refuse. There are many good Scholars and grounded Philosophers in Sienna, whose shoulders would better become this task: yet seeing all men to look for greater things at their hands, because of their knowledge; than they are willing to show, 
Want of reward, the death of learning.  when they are flightly rewarded; they had rather content them with a private life, then take so much pain, for so little thanks. But if I (which may not compare with them, neither in learning, for I am young; nor in judgement, for I am raw) chance to serve in my pen through want of reading; lay the fault to my youth, & pardon my folly, I desire no more recompense for my travel: A little stream, serves to drive a light Mill; and a lea●e fee is fit for a lazy Clerk. Therefore sith thou requirest, whose friendship I cannot forget; thou commandest, whose authority I will not resist; I mean to prosecute that which I first began, not as chiefest of all men, that with greatest gravity, but chosen by thyself, that with smallest jeopardy, might show my mind; nor that thou shalt found me as plentiful as Amaltheaes' horn, to yield thee what fruit soever thou cravest; but that in this vacant time, wherein your affairs are little, my business less; you from the Court, I from the University, & both idle; the day slip not away without some profit.  
Diogenes thought it necessary for us in this life, to have either good friends or great enemies; they never cease to exhort us to virtue, these are still searching for a hole in our garments. Therefore when one perceiving the greeks to be subdued, and the Carthaginiens utterly overthrown, boldly pronounced that the Romans were safe; Nay, quoth Scipio Nascica, now is the time of our chiefest danger, because we have left us neither friends a broad, whom we should follow; nor foes, of whom we should stand in fear. Whereby thou mayst see, Philotimo, how requisite it is for us in these days by one means or other to be told of our faults. Every man is desirous, if he have a blot in his paper, or a botch in his verse, or a stain in his cote, or a spot in his face, to hear of the same, that for his own credit he might amend it. We are all willing to dress ourselves by a glass, that nothing about us stand awry, yet are we also blind of affection, so blunt of condition, so wayward of mind, and so waspish of nature, that we cannot abide to hear of any wrinkle, in our behaviour; but if any man friendly admonish us of such● deformities, we are strait at daggers drawing, we fling out of company, we challenge the field, and for his good will we reward him with hate. To avoid such a brawl, and to keep thy friend, to show him his vice, and to save thyself to rebuke him for his manners, and ye● win his heart; I have already given the● a Cave at, forbidding thee flatly to reprehend in joy, or in sorrow; in mirth, or i● misery; in pleasure, or pain. And that I may the better imitate the course of nature, which runneth à privatione ad habitum, from kill, too quickening; from death, unto life; I will first remove the blocks out of thy way that thou stumble not, and showing thee what turnings betwixt this and thy iournyes end must be left, to keep thee still in the right way, I think it best to unfold unto thee as plainly as I can, what thou shalt fly in reproving thy friend, that I may the easier teach thee hereafter what thou shalt follow. As our friends are not to be rebuked when they are pleasant, nor when they are dampish: so are they not likewise to be touched in Company, nor in Choler, nor Continually, nor in a bravery, nor when ourselves are as bad as they. In Company: because we loathe to he taunted before them, of whom we desire to be well liked. When Aristomenes the schoolmaster of King Ptolemy saw the king sleep before certain Ambassadors, & with rebukes awaked him in their presence, he gave occasion to flatterers to pick a thank in his majesties quarrel, who incensed him so far with the remembrance of that reproach, that they caused him straight to enforce his Master, to drink his last draft in a Cup of poison. 
Dion.  Tiberius which succeeded Augustus in the Empire of Rome, and withheld the legacy which Augustus by Testament had given to the people, perceiving one round a dead coarse in the ear, called the man, and demanded the cause why he did so; To whom the fellow replied before them all, that he willed the soul which was fleeting from thence, to an other world, to certify Augustus that the commons of Rome were yet unpaid. Whereupon the Emperor charged him presently to be slain, that he might carry the news and do the errand himself, which knew best how the case stood. Because Pythagoras sharply rebuked his friend in company, 
Pl●●.  a young man presently cast a halter about his neck, meaning either to bridle his tongue, or to throttle him; By which the Philosopher ever after amended his fault, and learned in such places, to use other talk. And Plato perceiving Socrates too charm his friend rashly at an open Table, showed him that it had been the point of a wise man, to have done that in secret: Very well, quoth Socrates, had it not been as wise a part, for thee to have told me this in secret? The like method hath the holy Ghost set down in the Book of God, willing us if we see our brother offend, to draw him aside, and admonish him gently: if that prevail not, then to rebuke him before witness: but if this will not serve, by order of law to appeal to the judge.  
In Choler; because we are persuaded that bitter words proceed rather from a foe then a friend, 
Dion.  from an ill mind then a well meaning. Vespasian hearing Demetrius revile him, told him this: Thou hast provoked me already Demetrius to kill thee, but it is not my fashion to slay any Cur because he barketh. Had not that Prince with greater wisdom governed his hands, than railing Demetrius ruled his tongue, so lavish a mouth had cost him his life. We are willed which are christians, to reform one another with the spirit of meekness, which is likened to a Dove, and the Dove hath this property, it lack● a gall; so must we in revealing the faults of our friends, be clean void of Gall, of bitterness, of anger, of malice.  
In a Bravery: because he which seeketh to win glory by other men's vices, is no more to be regarded, than a common quacksalver, which trudgeth from City to city, with a box full of drugs, to proclaim in the market what sores, or what sickness, he is able to cure, and by this dancing ●inde of gesture with the proud Pharisee justify himself to his own shame.  
Continually: because it is irksome to be ever rubbed on the gall, too much of one thing is good for nothing. The Surgeon doth not always torment his cure, for troubling the wound, and making his patiented refuse remedy. The master is not ever whipping his Scholar, or casting the offence he commits in his teeth, for dulling his wit, hardening his heart, and forcing him utterly too abhor his Book. He that continually wipeth the face to make it clean, may chafe of the skin and disfigure it more. Therefore I may well like the man which at no time ceaseth too rebuke, too a pestilent whilewinde, that gathereth together nothing but clouds, and drives all the dust in the streets on a heap; or to a Raven, whose property is ever to seize upon carrion; or to the Sow, that is ever wrooting among weeds.  
If ourselves be nought: because it is a great shame to reprove that in others, which we go not about to reform in ourselves. They were forbidden in ancient time too expound Oracles, 
Plut.  which had any botch about their body: Much more are their lips to be sealed up, which have never a clear corner in their souls. Seneca was ill thought on for inveighing against lewdness, and loved Agrippina; for misliking of authority, and was an emperors master; for dispraising the Court, himself a Courtier; for speaking against flatterers, and fawnde upon Queens; for condemning of riches, himself being wealthy; and for rebuking excess, when himself had five hundred stools in his house of one fashion, 
Dion.  all headed with Cypress, and footed with Ivory. Sallust wrote many things against spoilers of countries, and robbers of provinces, yet when Caesar appointed him to govern Africa, he polled the people as fast himself. Thus may we not minister remedy to others, when ourselves are full of the like corruption; jest we be commanded as hypocrites, ere we take away the mote from our brother's sight, to remove the beam from our own eyes; Or as diseased Physicians, to help ourselves. For he that is fallen, cannot pull up his friend; nor he that is wicked, give any good counsel to offenders.  
These are the rocks, Philotimo, which thou must shun in rebuking thy friend, if thou desire to utter thy wares, & bring thy ship to a safe harbour. Peradventure there may be more added by riper wits, which myself have not read, or not remembered; And sith time will not serve me to search them out, I had rather content myself with these, then coin any more without commission, lest I chance to pass my limits as far as Priamus, which was registered to be the father of fifty Children, and but xvii. of them lawfully begotten. He that will not be run a ground in his passage, must tarry the tide ere he take Boat; The sailor that is loath to be driven beyond his reach, must wait till he carry the wind in a bag; The Merchant that wisheth to make a hand of his goods, must watch opportunity to open his Shop; And if that inreproving the abuses of thy friend, thou forsake those dangerous shelves which I have showed thee, and art come to Anchor, very desirous to be unladen, thou must choose a fit time to discharge thy conscience: for the need of the chapman raiseth the market, and the occasion which they themselves give that are to be chide, shall fetch out thy counsel at a good rate.  
Such a time did Solon pick out to rebuke Croesus when he showed him his treasure: 
A tempore●  such advantage Demaratus took of king Philip, to tell him of the debate betwixt him & his Queen. For when the king asked him how the Greeks did agreed within themselves: It is very well done my liege (quoth Demaratus) for your majesty to demand how quietly the athenans & Peloponnesians do live abroad, when you and your Queen are at discord at home. Such an occasion Diogenes caught at the first bound, who being taken in the tents of the same Philip (which then determined too war with the greeks) and brought in his presence, the king asked presently, if he were a spy: yea, said Diogenes, a spy, that hath already discovered thy rashness, which neither constrained by force, nor provoked by injury, art come hither, to hazard thy life, thy glory, thy power, thy possession, thy Crown, thy Kingdom, and all that thou hast, in own hour. Such opportunity was not forslewed by Bato the ringleader of the Rebels in Dalmatia, 
Dion.  for coming too the Emperor too entreat of peace, when Tiberius first questioned with him, why he arose in Arms? Because (answered he) you sent us neither shepperds to regard us, nor dogs too defend us, but Wolves too devour us.  
Some times because the wind is not ever in one quarter, we must ship out our ●ares, and further our course, either by the person of ourselves, 
A personae. Quinque modis.  which rebuke, or of him which is rebuked, or of his fellow, or of his friends, or of his enemies. Of our person: when we confess ourselves to have had the like vice, and amended it; to have been in like danger, and escaped it. So jupiter and juno falling at variance for matters belonging too Venus' sports, thought Tiraesias, who had been both a man and a woman, fittest of all; to take up the controversy, and to conclude for them both, which of the two, the man, or the woman, was greatest wanton. Of the person of him whom we rebuke: when the party himself of his own accord confesseth one of his lightest faults; so is the example of Philotimo the Physician too be followed, which told his patient, that showed him a chapte finger, that he fostered a greater disease than that, and should take some Physic for his hot liver. Of his fellows: when he perceiveth the faults which himself committeth, to be severely punished in another. So did Ammonius accustom to rebuke his scholars. For understanding one day that some in the school had played the gluttons, he commanded his servant to beat his own son, and turning his face too them that deserved it, told them, that such a wag could never dine well without sauce too his meat. Of his friends: whom he might to reverence for their good will and fully persuade him of their honest mind. After this fort Plato reprehended Dionysius, for thrusting him out of the Court, without cause. And having obtained audience of the King, he began first to reason in the person of an enemy. If thou knewest Dionysius, that any of thy foes had arrived in Sicily to do thee hurt, and wanting opportunity failed of his purpose, wouldst thou let him escape without revenge? Not, said Dionysius, for I punish the intent aswell as the deed doing. Then Plato disputing with him prettily à contrariis, descended straight into the person of a friend and replied thus; If any of your friends for the love that he bears you, come hither to Sicily, to do you good, but hath lost his labour, because yourself hath not given him leave, will you turn him away without reward? Dionysius demanded who it was that had taken such pain, and was so lightly regarded: Plato yet covered himself and said, it was Aeschines, whose eloquence was abye too reform the manners of those that embraced his company: It is even he that hath traveled far, and passed the Seas in danger of life to teach thee Philosophy, and is not esteemed. Whereupon the King greatly delighting in the boldesse of his spirit, embraced him again, brought him into the Court, and dealt very bountifully with him and Aeschines. 
Orat. pro. Caeli●  So likewise Tully nips Clodia in the person of her little brother. It moveth us as much too amend our manners, and saveth the rebuker without hurt, when our vice is laid open to us in the person of such, as by affinity of blood we are bound to like. By which means I have heard, that one Fulco, a bold Bishop, which was Ambassador in Engande in the time of King Richard the first, 
King Richards three daughters banished the Court.  and perceiving very great abuses in the Court, boldly stepped to the King, and told him, that he had three arraunce Whores to his daughters, for whom if he speedily provided not marriages, it would turn his majesty to shame, and his Court too reproach. The first of them he termed to be Pride, the second Covetousness, the third Luxury. The good king hearing the names of his strange daughters, entered into a deeper consideration of their natures; & the next day called his Council together, to get them husbands. When he had opened the talk of the Bishop to the Peers of his Realm; he presently gave Pride to the Templars, Covetousness to the Cisterttan Monks, and Luxury to the ruffling Prelates of the Church. Sometime if we suppose all those deformities to be in an other, which abound in the party whom we reprove, naming no body, but leaving the matter doubtful, and indifferent to be applied by the guilty conscience itself, it is very forcible. So Tully plays with Clodia in the same Oration for Caelius, which I cited before. If any widow have set her doors wide open to Bawdry, and yielded herself a common Courtesan, refusing not to feast among those whom she never knew, if she do this in the city, in gardens, in common meetings: To be short, if she behave herself so not only in gesture, but in attire and company; nor in gloating of her eyes, and lavishness of speech, but in embracings, in kissings, in bathings, in banquetes, whereby she is judged as impudent as whorish; If, I say, a young Novice have stumbled by chance into her company, tell me Lucius Herennius, whether thou term him a lecher or a lover? Such a fellow as hath sought to rob her of her honesty, or to reave her of that she was willing to lose? I forget my injuries Clodia, I shake of the remembrance of my sorrow, I overskip thy cruelty to my friends in my absence, do not think these things which I have uttered, to be spoken of thee; yet give me leave to ask thee a question, because our accusers have sifted the crime out of thee and allege thee for witness: if there be any such woman as I late described unlike to thyself in life, or in lewdness, with whom a young man hath a little been conversant, whether thou think it so heinous a matter? If thou be not the same woman, as I wish; what is it that can be objected to Caelius? but if other men apply, and say thou art she, why should we fear that offence which thou regardest not? Nevertheless sith you may well perceive that Cicero used this going about the bush, rather to check her bitterly, then reform her friendly; to taunt her in the Senate, than teach her in secret; and to touch her nearest, when she least looked for it; I will let slip, and com● to the person of his enemies whom we are willing to reprehend. For he that rebuketh in this manner, removeth the blame from himself, and turns it to him in whose person he speaks; which I will show thee, Philotimo, by a very familiar example. signor leraldi, a Magnifico in this City, whom thou knowest well, since my coming to Venice, invited me divers times to his house. One day especiallyas we sat at dinner, he began to move talk of Samarcho the Lawyer: from him he descended to his Son, which at this time enjoyeth my room in Sienna, demanding of me, how I liked his wit: So, so, Sir, said I, and shook my head. Then jeraldi told me, that within these few days the young man came from the University to visit his friends, the father requested jeraldy too Supper, that he might see this toward youth. When they were set, Sirrah, quoth the wise Father to the witty son, you have Phialoes' place, but I hope you will not prove such an unthrift as Phialo; whereat the mannerly puppy began to pou●. Credit me, said jeraldi, I stood in doubt whether I should blame the Father for speaking without book, or condemn the son for his ill nurture: but you may see, Phialo, how good it is for you to walk warily, that the mouths of your enemies may be stopped: This pretty kind of rebuke so far fetched, caused me to thank the Magnifico for telling me what he heard, and to storm at Samarcho, for reporting so ill of me without ground. I would not have him to count his Chickens so soon before they be hatched, nor triumph so long before the victory: These are rath days, it is honey moon yet, if he see his son swim, let him thank GOD which hath made him able too hold him up by the sin. There is yet small judgement to be given: the green blade that appears first, & shoots highest, is soon bit with a black frost. As too much drought hath caused thy Phialo to shed his leaves: so too much moisture may choke up his graff, and both whither for company. But to leave them, I will cast about to the place where I struck sail, and return to my purpose as fast as I can. When thou hast watched thy time and caught thy friend solitary, unfolded thy mind in any of these persons which I have rehearsed, the thing itself many times will accuse the man, though thou hold thy peace. The thing itself, 
〈◊〉.  saith Tully, will cry out, though I be mute. And Plato provounceth that the life itself rebuketh Speusippus. Think not, 
Oratio: pro Rose: Amer.  saith Tully, that as you have heard in old tales, the wicked are chased & affrighted with the firebrands of furies, every man's own treachery & his own fear troubleth him, every man's own fault torments him, and pricks him, their own conceit, and their own consciences ever gnaw them. Where the man is so scourged, & feels so many witnesses in himself, thou shalt have the less need to show it him. 
Ab 〈◊〉.  Otherwise if thou see him aloft, and fear that he will be carried away with pleasure to forget himself, thou mayest then take occasion by his present state too warn him: Speusippus wrote unto Dion in his chiefest pomp, exhorting him not to look too high, because he was a gallant Gentleman, and much made of amongst women, but to have a care that Sicily be well governed with equity, maintained by justice, and beautified trimly by good laws. The same Plato which could not be persuaded too prescribe any orders of life to the Cirenenses, because he thought their prosperity would not suffer them to take the bit, judged it necessary to bid Dion beware of his comely parsonage and flourishing days, for pride at one time or other will have a fall.  
And because that sore eyes may not view the light, without a scarf; I think it necessary for thee, in making thy friend acquainted with his fault, too use a shadow; which may be done by tempering thy speeches with commendations. The Physician is more desirous too cure his Patient by sleep, then by Rhubarb; by comfortable meats, than foreign drugs, by the Cook's help, than the Apothecary's shop. The Fencer entering the List to come too blows, giveth a flourish with his weapon too move delight, & in all the conflict bendeth his body with a comely grace. The Surgeon coming too the member that must be cut, bolstereth it up with soft pillows, muffleth his Patient's eyes with a clout, and toucheth the ●yle as tenderly as he can. So shall it behove thee in reforming thy friend, and purging the humour which hurteth him most, too take away the bitterness of thy Lozinge, with sweet Syrups, commending him for that he hath done well, avoiding comparisons, because they are odious, accepting his excuse, if he chance to reply, lessening his fault as much as you may, cooling his mood, with a few praises, as the Smith doth his Iron too knit it the straighter, and make it strong. By reckoning up to them that which was done well, we make them ashamed, of that which is ill.  
Fie Pander whers thy bow and feathered flight,  
Which make thee bear the pryre from every wight?  
Thus are they chiefly too be won with fair means, by the example of the Physician: or gently too be entreated at the first, and then gaulled, as you see by the Fencer, and the Surgeon: or too be first heated, and fashioned, then cooled, & calmed, as a Smiths Iron, or a lazy Pander. For the Mason, after he hath stricken a deep gash with the Chysel, in too his work, leaves it not rough, for being deformed, but smootheth it over, with finer tools, to make it show beautiful to the eye: He pareth away whatsoever is rugged, for spi●●ing his work; And we must shave of all that, with a smooth tongue, which we left sharp, with a rough taunt, for spoiling our friend. Therefore it is tolerable sometimes to purge him aloof, and post the fault over to another, as the only cause of that offence. So Tully excuseth Atracinus, for accusing of Caelius, imputing the fault to his zeal, who was willing to have all amended; or to compulsion, as though he were forced to it by other; or to his youth, which was easy to be bribed. Wherein I may liken his practise to the countryman, which soweth Onions and Garlic, near to his Roses, that they might draw the gross & sour moisture into themselves, & so make the flowers a great deal sweeter. This might be handled, Philotimo, more at large, but a beck is as good, as a Dieu guard, and a word enough, too a wise hearer. The athenans were one day desirous to have some new piece of work, and setting two notable Carpenters before them, to know which was the best: the one having a quick wit, and a ready tongue, reasoned of many things belonging to building, and discoursed his art with apt words and sentences orderly placed, which liked them well: The other being the better workman, and the worse Orator, more skilful in his tolls, than in his tongue; told the athenans, that all which his fellow had utterrd in words, himself was able to show in deeds. And sith we both study to counsel our friends when we see them serve, which no doubt willbe a profitable piece of work, because I have according too my small skill in Rhetoric, drawn out the frame with a few words, I would have thee presently to put it in practise: which if thou do, avoiding that which is to be fled; pursuing that, which is to be followed not chiding thy friend in joy, for overthwarting; nor in sorrow, for oppressing; nor in company, for troubling; nor in choler, for vexing; nor in bravery, for vaunting; nor always, for discouraging; nor when thyself art worse for scorning: but grounding thy arguments on the person, or on the fault, or on the time, so seasoning and spiring thy talk with sweetness, that it slip down ●pace without chewing; and touch him at the quick, without molesling; thou shalt profit him pleasure his friends, not hurt thyself, reform vice, advance virtue, and give a good push, to the profession of a young Divine.  
Believe me, said Philotimo, if it be the property of a cunning Painter, to give life to a huge beast, in a narrow paper; of a toward Soldier, to turn a great horse, in a little compass; and of a good scholar, to couch many things, in a few words: for declaring of matters so rough, aptly; so confused, orderly; so redicus, briefly; I may well call thee a new Protagenes, a second Alexander, and the very hatchet of Demosthenes. And though I cannot commend thee sufficiently in thine own presence, without suspicion of flattery: yet dare I not withhold the Garland from thee, which thou deservest, for doing thee injury.  
Very well, answered Phialo, because you are a Philosopher, and a Courtier, in the one, you attribute that unto me, that is due to yourself, which is Socrates flout: in the other, I find you very frank of good words, which is proper to the place wherein you live. 
Epist● ad Tho. Archiep. Ebor.  Therefore give me leave to say that too you, which Erasmus wrote of Henry the eight, a victorious King of England. I am very glad, saith he, and have wonderful cause to rejoice in heart, that I am so highly commended of so famous a Prince, but much more should I be bound to his majesty, if advancing my estate, his highness vouchsafed to confirm that which he avoucheth. I speak not this to compare you to King Henry, or myself to Erasmus, for there is odds. Yet sith it hath pleased you to tickle mine ears with so high praises, I should ever accounted myself your debtor, if you would aswell further my studies with your helping hand, as you have lifted them up, with a glozing tolling. For many thought Eras. not to be so learned, because he was bore: And every man will judge me to be but a Duns, when he sees me a beggar. Yet that worthy Prince which never suffered virtue to departed empty handed, stayed up the fame of Erasmus with his liberality: and I trust, when soever you commend me again, you will open your lips and your purse together.  
With this Philotimo began to smile, and taking poor Phialo by the hand, led him to the Table, where they both placed themselves to supper: which no doubt was passed over with little talk, because they had tired themselves before, both being desirous to busy their teeth and their tongues otherwise. The Supper once ended, Phialo began to take his leave for that night, and withdraw himself to his own lodging, for withholding Philotimo from his rest, who could not choose but be weary after such a journey. But the noble Gentleman taking so great pleasure in the conference of Phialo, that he had altogether forgotten his former travel, suffered not his friend to depart from his side, requesting him earnestly to keep him company, till he returned toward the Court. Phialo easy enough to be entreated of so great a friend, stayed, and spent the greatest part of the night with him in talk.   

The second Book, A Canuazado too Courtiers.  
THe next day Philotimo was very desirous too usite leraldi, and stirring somewhat the earlier, that he might both thank him for his courtesy towards Phialo, and spend the time in some argument till dinner approached, he set forward with Phialo to this Magnificoes house, where they sound the grave father very hard at his Book. They had no sooner embraced him, and he given courteous entertainment to them, but Philotimo told him he was sorry, that it was his chance to come to his house at such a time, as might rather hinder his studies then pleasure him any way.  
No Sir, said jeraldi, except you judge me to be a Cato, whose eyes were continually fixed on his Book, his mind asmuch busied in Civil government. That which I read, is only to shun Idleness, when I lack such good company. My learning is small, my judgement as slender in matters of weight: therefore have I chosen such a book to peruse, as rather delighteth me with pleasant conceits, than troubleth my wits with construing of things beyond my reach. Behold Philotimo it is only a discourse which lively describeth the image of a Courtier, fit for you to profess, then for me to read. Hear is a sweet style, pure phrase, little affected and many good precepts to be learned. But you know how easy a thing it is to cut a garment, by an other man's pattern, too build when the foundation is laid to our hands; or to add more of ourselves to those things, which are already invented by other. Though the writer of this discourse have done well, yet in my opinion he saw far, and perceived not all; he wrote much, and let somewhat slip that better deserved to be touched. We see in this body of ours, that one foot steppeth beyond the other; with the hand we reach farther than we stride; with the tongue, we sound farther than we strike; with the ear, we do hear beyond our voice; the sight of our eye, peerceth beyond our hearing; and the cast of the mind, outstrips them all. So shall you find in the body of every common wealth, not every thing so absolute in one particular member, but something may be wished for, which it wanteth; Every man in one point, or other, passing his fellow, and himself as much inferior to them, as they are to him, whom he exceedeth. Tully was eloquent, but fearful too speak; Crassus' bold, but very broad mouthed; Menestheus in courage giveth place to Stenhelus, Stenhelus to Diomed, Diomed too Ajax, and he too Achilles. Agamemnon was said too be a wise Prince, yet glad many times to be counseled by Nestor. Eurition shot best for Aeneas games, 
Virgil.  but Acesta carried away the Prize, because he delivered his arrow with so cunning a lose, that it caught fire as it flew, & consumed to cinders. Andromacha & Penelope were both chaste, and both loyal too their Husbands, yet Penelope deserved the greater praise.  
The feet of Thetis were as bright as silver, but the ankles of Hebe, clearer than Crystal; The arms of Aurora, as ruddy as the Rose, but the breasts of juno, as white as snow; Minerva was wise, but juno was wealthy, & Venus in beauty stained them both. jewels are all precious, but not all of one price, nor all of one virtue, nor of like perfection. The Adamant of nature draweth Iron, but the stone Hematites doth stop blood. The Carbuncle in darkness shineth like fire, but the Topase is holp with the light of the Sun. Thus may you perceive, that all Rivers have not their course into one Sea, all fruit, doth not grow upon one tree, all fish, is not taken in one stream, all fashions, are not cut out of one cloth, all laws, are not made by one Solon, all Countries, are not governed by one Prince, all knowledge, is not found in one head, nor all Images hewed out of one block. But one enjoyeth that which another wants, & the same lacketh that, which another hath. The Moon and the Stars do govern the night, but the Sun receiveth the day to his charge; Neptune rules the seas, but Aeolus the winds; Cupid shoots arrows, but jupiter thunderbolts; Tibullus writes wanton sonnets of love, but Homer the bloody destruction of Troy; And the Author of this Book which you took me perusing teacheth a Courtier too tell a fine tale, but I hope you would have profit his Country.  
For my part, answered Philotimo, I dare not meddle in this case, for marring of that which I cannot amend, and sith my luck serves me so ill, I am contented, with the loss of a single stake, to post over my game to the hands of Phialo, who hath read more than I, and Plays with advantage upon sure cards.  
You know, answered Phialo, that it is not for me, to teach gesture in the presence of Roscius, to touch the strings in Apollo's hearing, nor to describe a courtier before Philotimo. Yet if I might draw you down the pattern of a Courtier, I would have him too be in spirit a Cyrus, 
〈◊〉 Courtier.  in temperance, an Ageselaus, ● wit a Themistocles, in experience a Philip, in boldness a Brasidas, in tongue a Pericles, in friendship a jonathas, in Wisdom a Solomon; exercised in arms, skilful in Books, liberal in gifts, lowly in Pomp, valiant in fight, in Victory merciful; and too say all at once, in his whole life a true Christian, that rather seeketh a Kingdom in Heaven, than a Sceptre on earth, an immortal Crown, than a vanishing wreath; the glory of GOD, than his own praise. Yet sith my Courtier is as hard too be found in Italy, as Tully's Orator, which never spoke; Aristotle's bliss, which was never tasted; the Phoenix of Arabia, that was never seen; or the Castles which Mathematicians build in the Air without tools; I will only give you three or four Notes, which I think very requisite in a Courtier, because I see them but slenderly handled by other.  
Let a young Gentleman resort too Ferara, you shall have more ready too proffer him Paris Harp, than Achilles' lance, nice Doctrine, then manly Discipline, Too subdue these affections, and too make choice of every thing that lieth before you; too consider the end why you are called too that place, and too discharge your duty when you are there, you aught, Philotimo, to be learned, to be liberal, to abhor flatterers, and chief of all to further Religion, which is the Sacrifice that God looketh for at your hands. Alexander was a Captain to the greeks, a Lord to the Barbarians, and a Philosopher too both, he taught the Hircans too marry, the Arachosians to plough, the Sogdians too secure their parents, the Persians to refrain their mother's bed, the Scythians to bury their dead bodies, and the Indians too honour the Grecians gods. He was in birth a Prince, in life a Philosopher, in troubles a soldier, in peace a Scholar. Thou art not sent to the Court, Philotimo, to lay the flower of thy youth, in Lady's laps, but to learn the state of thine own Country, and the conditions of foreign Realms, that thou mayest the better be able to serve thy Prince.  
When Ambassadors came out of Persia to Philip of Macedon, Alexander his son, being then but a child, asked them nothing of their masters high Orchards, or golden groves, or what music he loved, or what dancers he liked, but how many men at arms he was able to make, if need required, what kind of place he choosed to fight in, after what order he planted his battle, what justice he ministered to his subjects, and by what kind of laws be governed his Country. 
Learning in Court.  Learning hath been thought so necessary in the Court, that Darius had always rather see one Zopyrus at his Elbow, than a hundred Babylonians. And when he was presented with a fair Pomegranate, he wished to have as many learned men continually about him as there were little grains within that apple. When Dionysius embraced the doctrine of Plato, the Nobles and Gentlemen so gave their mind to knowledge, that every corner in the Court was full of triangles. It is necessary that they which look unto many, should see much, and sith the whole weight of the common wealth lieth in the neck of good Courtiers it were too be desired, that none should come there, but such as are wise.  
O Philotimo, how many young Gentlemen are there now in Tuscanie, which never dream of these matters? but having stabled their horse for amoneth in Sienna, though they never tasted the sweetness of knowledge, by loathing the travel, yet trudge they to Ferara, to live in the Court. Wherein I may say they are a great deal more fruitful than Hares, 
A quick childbed.  for they are reported to conceive, to go proud, and to litter their liverets at one instant. But these wax great with learning, before they conceive it; and deliver their burden forty weeks at the least before it is begotten. If they take the Court over their heads as a hood for the rain, or a cloud for their ignorance, thinking that a little spark there, should shine like a flame, and every fly swell as big as an Eagle, they perceive not that unskilful workmen setting a puppet upon high pillars, too make it seem huger; show every fault of it the plainer. That they which would not be seen, must not hide themselves on the top of an hill, and that such as are placed in Prince's Courts, are subject to the ear and eye of every man: where they cannot once stumble in behaviour, without shame, nor trip in their speech without rebuke. Where the foundation is weak the frame tottereth, where the root is not deep the tree falleth, where the knot is lose the string slips, where the water is low no bessell rides: and upon little learning the life of a Courtier cannot be builded, because the foot is not able to bear up the head.  
Thou art utterly deceived, Philotimo, if thou think it should far with thee, as it doth with the Sun, the nearer he mounteth up to the Pole, the slower he moves: and the higher thou settest thyself in the Court, the lesser thou judgest thou oughtest too study.  
Thou art not called to this life too sleep out thy days in a Trunk with Clearchus, or to join with Domitian too catch Flies. In empty Vessels it passeth our cunning too find where they leak, till we pour in Liquor; I fool bewrayeth himself if you give him a Sword; the Owl is blind, when she comes too light; the loiterer which hath effeebled his mind with pleasure and sloth, and nuzzled himself in the fog of ignorance, holdeth no water in princes Courts, plays like a fool with the shadow of authority, like a Bastard Bird shutteth his eyes at the blaze of Nobility, brightness of honour, and knowledge of many matters. Homer in setting out the picture of Agamemnon, likeneth his eyes and his head to jupiter: By which I gather that a Courtier aught too see so far, that his sight may reach from the East too the West, and that his wisdom may shape out a new a Minerva. 
Minerva bred in jupiter's bran.  From the Court in all ages hath learning been maintained, and men of excellent knowledge received too the service of princes. So was Solon advanced by Croesus, Demaratus by Philip, Calisthenes by Alexander, Plato by Dionysius, and Seneca by Nero: But if Courtiers begin too despise knowledge, and thrust their Philosophers out of the gates, all wisdom, all nurture, all good manners, all government, all honour and honesty goes too wrack. Plato had not been one hour out of Dionysius favour, but every one of his lessons was turned too a dancing trick, every Gentleman's Pen set a work with the praise of his Mistress; and every Geometrical figure drawn in the bottom of a Bowl of Wine. When such things happen, not only the court is defaced, by want of discipline; the country deformed, by foul disorder; the learned discouraged, for lack of countenance; good letters banished, by discontinuance; but the Courtier, himself though his hair glister like the locks of Smerdia, 
A Courtier without learnning.  though his eyes pierce the Marble wall, though his tongue be as soft as silk, or as sweet as honey, though his parsonage have stolen away all that nature is able too bestow, yet he is no better than a deep stream, bright in the top, and black in the bottom; A king's Idol, sound with out, and finely gilded, hollow within, and filled with Lead; a great Canon, that giveth amonstrous crack and shoots but paper; a fair ship fraught with Balist, and the shape of a man stuffed with straw.  
Isocrates thought it as necessary for Gentlemen, 
Oratio ad Demo●●cum.  to practise the good qualities of their parents, as too inherit their lands; for Nobility, riches, quartering of Coats, and such like ornaments, are lanterns unto our posterity, which neither suffer their virtues, nor their vices to be hid.  
The ancient house of Sylla, the noble Roman was almost decayed, and utterly forgotten by the sloth of his progeny, till himself renewed it by learning and virtue. 
Sallust.  Curious knots show well, when they repounced, but a great deal better, embroidered in silks; and both are best on a Ladies back. Costly stones shine bravely, when they are cut, but braver when they are set in Gold, and both are most beautiful on a Prince's finger. Learning hath some grace in a mean person, greater praise in a Noble mind, and both are most glorious in the court. Therefore give me leave, Philotimo, too entreat thee as a servant, too admonish thee as a friend, too command thee as Philosopher, that serving the Duke of Ferara in his court, thy skill be as clear, as thy honour is bright, thy manners as comely, as thy parsonage, thy virtues as noble as thy parentage, thy life, as unspotted as thy blood. O how many great men have I read of in histories, and seen in Italy, which having no knowledge in the course of the heavens, or the power of GOD; in the weakness of man, or slipper hold of prosperity, at the lest smile of fortune, have swelled in pride, and forgot themselves, as though she were never able too frown, or their flourishing days could never change? Clitus, because he took three or four ships at the Sea, called himself Neptune. Demetrius, for one good success in all his affairs, termed himself jupiter, suffering no foreign Peers too come to him of Embassage, but holy interpreters to demand Oracles. Lysimachus, because be invaded the borders of Thracia, and conquered a Moulehil, said he touch Heaven with the point of his Lance, if he had stepped but one Inch further, I believe he would have vaunted that he had let jupiter blood in the heel. Clearchus of Heraclia did bear a Thunderbolts, and called one of his children by the name of Thunder: Dionysius forgetting the doctrine of Plato, affirmed himself to be the son of Apollo; & julius Caesar disfiguring himself to pass secretly into Africa, when the wind was against him, & the master 〈◊〉 too return back, hide him go forwards, for he carried Caesar, as though the name of an Emperor, the title of a King, or the shadow of a Courtier, maugre the Seas, were sufficient to pass. But that Courtier that considereth, the Sun too arise in the East with a fiery garland, and fall in the West with Eclipse of his light, that learneth by the Oracle of Apollo, 
Dion.  to know himself, and acknowledge his maker in the same; shall easily found that his state is uncertain, and stay himself better by the fruit of knowledge.  
And it behoveth a Courtier too be learned, 
Liberality in Court.  because he liveth in the place that thirsteth for skill: so should he be liberal, because his God hath blest him with plenty: For moisture is not given unto Springs, that it should remain still in the place where they breed; but be conveyed by Conduits too sundry corners, to the watering of every drier soil, and the comfort of all that inhabit where. Plato thinketh that nature at the first was delivered of two daughters, 
Natures two daughters.  Plenty, and Poverty, to this end, that the one needing might crave that she lacked, the other abounding, supply all that wanted. Aristotle's appetitus ad bonum is nothing but this, 
〈◊〉. 1.  that God hath given a Paradise to all things in their kind, and naturally engraffed in them a desire, too seek it out. 
The Court is the treasure-house of preferment.  And I persuade me that all power, all preferments, all offices, all the riches of every country is locked up in the court as the fittest Treasury, that every man by service should fetch his desert, and beg the thing there, that he hath need of. This aught the Courtiers of Ferara to consider, that they have the keys of the chest to distribute, and we are borne poor too fly unto them; that they are sweet Springs, we barren soils, unable too yield any fruit without their dew; they, the heirs apparent to Plenty, we, the offspring of Poverty; that we by the will of GOD, and the laws of Nature, having recourse unto them for succour, might with submission acknowledge them our Lords, & ourselves their vassals: them our good Patrons, and ourselves their beademen: whereby they loving us, we honouring them, they delighted in giving, we comforced in taking, both in one might ever agreed.  
I speak not this to maintain idle beggars or lazy Philosophers, but too teach every man first to dig his own ground till he come to the Clay, 
Plato.  then if he find not sufficient liquor, to request some friendship at his neighbours well. After this sort when myself was pulled from Sienna, through want of ability, having nothing after the death of my father to shore up my studies, I wrote certain Rapsodia to a Courtier in Ferara, hoping to find some favour with him, because it was told me, that he was learned, but I lost my labour, and at his own request and my charges, danced attendance certain days at the Court, without thanks. At the last remembering with myself, what Antigonus said to a good scholar, with presented him a Pamphlee in praise of justice: Thou art unwise to give me a book of justice, when thou seest me delight in sacking of Cities, I began to surmise, that the sauce which I made, was too sharp for his diet, and the herbs which I brought, too strong for his nose. Therefore as closely as I coulo, I came to Venice, not once resorting, Philotimo, unto thee, nor any man else which I know in Ferara, my hap was so bad, & my heart so big. Courtiers were wont in old time to rejoice in these Epithets. And were called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, men bountiful, valiant, merciful, 
Plu.  and mighty. In so much that me seeing Archestratus in great poverty, writ much, and get nothing, told him that if he had lived in Alexander's time, for every line in his book he would have given him a kingdom. Among all the notable praises of Sylla, 
Sallust.  I found it set down, that he was so liberal, that he always rather desired to give, then to take, and if he had received a present of a friend, as a pledge of goodwill, he thought it due de●●, till the value were returned with advantage.  
Peradventure the Courtiers of Ferara have learned of Tully, 
Courtiers apt scholars to Tully's precepts  that to give any thing of their own, pulleth somewhat away from the main stake, and draweth the spring of liberality dry; by which means bounty stops the passage of liberality, like the Pelican, which is said, in succouring her young to wound herself; and the Adder that giveth life to her brood, by her own death. For the more they let out and distribute abroad, the less they have in their coffers at home. Therefore practising with Tully, to give that continually, which they give willingly, they put their hands in their purses, and pull out nothing. Yet the same Cicero in the name of Theophrastus, commends Hospitality, 
Orat. pro Mar. Marcello.  thinking it very plausible in great men, to set their doors open to gay guests, to entertain foreign Princes very sumptuously, and reward them richly, by which they confirm their own safety, increase the number of their friends, and fill their Chests higher with a privy gain. Following the countriemans' custom in this, which doungeth his ground, frankly casteth his seed in the furrows, to have it restored in harvest with Usury. This is it, which Cicero saith, we should give of our own to them that are fit. And what are they, but such as are able to make us amends? wherein he neither regardeth the nature of bounty, nor knows what belongeth to a benefit. For he is not liberal that giveth to take, 
Aristotle.  because liberality consisteth in giving much, and receiving little: neither may that rightly be termed a benefit, 
Lactantius.  which at any time is returned again. Thus Cicero measuring a Courteris liberality by private commodity, like a blind Philosopher gropes at high noon, 
A strange enchantment.  and treads awry. I have read of an herb which is called Eryngium, and some writers affirm, that if any Goat chance to take up a leaf of the same in her mouth, presently herself and all the whole heard, as they were enchanted, doth stand still, not moving one foot either forward or backward, till the herdman himself come and pull it away. And I think that some doting Philosopher which led the Dance, hath caught this Eryngium between his teeth and bewitched the whole rabble of them that followed; with whom Tully himself stands in a trance, not knowing which way to turn him in moral virtues. For sometime he exhorteth us too have greater regard to our gain than our honour, to a glozing bounty, than a true liberality. And sometime again he teacheth us all too be single hearted, which is for our honour, not to pretend one thing and perform an other, which is hypocriste. Therefore let us bring out the truth as a skilful herdman to tear this enchanted Herb from his mouth.  
Lactantius divideth the office of justice into two parts, 
Lib. 6. de vero 〈◊〉. cap. 10.  the one joined with God which is religion; the other linked to man, and that is courtesy. The first I will handle when I shall see occasion; the last falleth so full into my hands, and so sit for my purpose, that it may not be rashly overskipped. For GOD which hath given to brute beasts both strength and weapons too defend themselves, barred them of reason; 
Man borne to do good.  but sending man naked and weak into the world, he lightened his mind with the Lamp of knowledge, planting such inward remorse in his heart, that seeing the image of himself in another, acknowledging presently his own weakness, and deeply considering that we have all one maker, GOD; one Father Adam; one Nurse, the earth; he should love him unfeignedly, embrace him with courtesy, frankly stretch out his hand to succeour him, and set foot by foot unto death to defend him. He that performeth not this which Nature exacteth, and duty challengeth, is rather too be held for a beast, than a man; because he showeth not the love of the heart, the affect of the mind, the touch of conscience, the force of piety, the fruit of that courtesy which GOD hath engrassed only in man. Therefore Tully flatly reproveth himself, when he sayeth that Man obeying but Nature, can never be hurtful unto man. But too see another oppressed, and not too secure him, is too hurt him; too perceive him in need, and not too give him relief, is too deny it him; to find him in danger, and not to save him, is to kill him.  
Aristotle and all Philosophers ever dreamt, 
Man's society according to Philosophers.  that men at the first, ranging the woods for their food, as beasts for a pray, having neither speech nor conference, nor company together, but clothing their bodies with the leaves of Trees; couching their heads in Caves of the Earth; perceiving their neighbours torn many times and devoured with beasts; they which escaped the danger ran unto other, craving succour by signs. Thus gathered together, they proffered to speak, invented names for every thing, and so grew to society. Yet seeing themselves, although they were many, unable to withstand the assault of devouring beasts, because they were naked, they consulted together too build them up walls, to environ themselves with greater surety; and to rest in the night, with more security. Othersome are persuaded that it was not the cruelty of beasts, nor the peril of their lives, nor the death of their fellows, nor the fear of themselves, that drew them together: but the hate of that solitary life, and desire of company; the liking, that each one conceived of the other, the love and friendship, that passed betwixt them, the want of ability & the will to profit: the likeness of Sex, and the care to multiply: joined hands and hearts in perpetual amity. 
Definition of Courtesy.  If we be borne to love, to like, and to help one an other, 
L●net. 6. de cu●tu. cap. 11.  it is our duty too know one an other, and embrace with courtesy: For Courtesy is the friendly affection which we bear to a man, because he is that which we are. In that this affection is friendly, it must not be grounded on hope of game, jest it prove rather a liefcope of commodity, than a knot of amity. 
True love.  So, many times we love brute beasts, making much of the Ox, for his hide; the Wether, for his fell, both for the profit of their carcase: But true love is painted naked, because it should have nothing to give, nor so much as a pocket to receive. In that this affection is borne to another, because he is that which we are, that is, a man; how buy so ever we look, in the Court, or how much soever we have in wealth, we aught too confess that we may be that which an other is, that is, poor.  
Therefore it behoveth us too do that to other in need, which we wish too be done to ourselves in necessity. Who is it which sticking in the mire would not call for help? living in poverty, would not seek relief? in the paws of the Lion, would not cry for delivery? By this you may see, that he which denies succour to other, refuseth hereafter to be comforted; which helps not his brother in misery, thinks he shall never have need himself. If the Courtiers of Ferara were not of this mind, they would not show themselves Faulkeners in holding so fast. The old Nosce teipsum is good for them, Let them learn in time to know themselves. Many great Princes have flourished a while, and withered away as they had not been; many high personages have in the end left their seat & leapt at the cushion, lost their bags, and looked for the strings. Priamus for all his happiness in his youth, saw his Cositrie sacked with grey hears, and his children murdered before his face. All the riches of Croesus were the Persians pray. Antigonus the great king of the jews was deposed by Antony, made Captive at Rome, and scourged with rods. Cyrus' the Conquedor was once in his days glad of a cup of water. Annibal that ran like a wolf over all Italy, was hunted to death in his own Country. 
Dion.  Crassus which was so rich, that he thought him a beggar that was not able with his own revenues yearly too maintain a whole army of fight men, was overthrown by the Parthians at the last, who to satisfy his greedy desire of wealth, powered plenty of molten gold down his throat. Marius a mean man by virtue become a Consul in Rome, and after his pomp was driven by Sylla too hide his bead in a marsh among flags. I could tell thee, Philotimo, how Decebal ꝰ turned the great river Sargesia an other way, and digging a deep hole in the gulf, cast in his treasure, covered it strangely with huge Stones, returned the Stream too his course again, and killed the workmen, to keep it secret, yet his own friend Bicilis bewrayed it to the Romans, who overcame him in fight, spoiled him of all, and fished out his money by the same policy that himself had buried it. But it is not my drift to overcharge thy memory with many histories. Consider with thyself that being a noble gentleman and a Courtier, thou art as much subject too a foil, as greater than thyself have been before thee. When the King's fisher layeth her eggs, the seas are calm till they be hatched, when gallants breed in Princes courts, Fortune smiles till they be heartened; but as soon as the weather begins to bluster, the highest mast, is first rent, the largest sails are quickliest torn; the greatest mark is soon hit; and the Fisher's nest is borne away. Remember, Philotimo, thou art a man having with us the same maker, same Father, same Nurse, and receiving of Nature, a soft heart to be tainted with pity; of Fortune, a full Purse, to distribute too such as stand in need; if thou perform it not, thou showest thyself as unworthy too be cured when thou art hurt, as thou are unwilling to bind up thy brother's wounds. Therefore shake of that jewish liberality of Cicero, which is plain Usury, tread the Precept of Plautus under thy feet, which would not have thee relieve the miserable, because thy benefit is lost, and prolongeth their life, to a farther wretchedness; think with thyself that thou mayest fall, & secure them that are down already; Do not for get that thou mayest be captive, and help to redeem the thrall from bondage; if thou judge that thou mayest be slain in field, bury the carcases of thy foes; though thou see thy benefits perish here, thou shalt find them again in an other world. The hand of the poor is the alms box of Christ. Look whatsoever thou givest to them, shall be registered for thee in the book of Life, and deeply engraved in the gates of heaven.  
I know, Philotimo, that where much blood is drawn, the body is pale; where many leap over, the hedge is broken; where divers do suck, the Nurse is dry; where every man draws, the water is troubled; where sundry Flies bite, the gall is great; where every hand fleceth, the sheep go naked; & where all men that list to beg are rewarded, the treasure of a Monarch is soneconsumed. Many drones grating on Courtiers purses, eat up the honey from such as deserve it. But if their honours would follow the examples of Cyrus and Archelaus, such as gape still for Gudgeons would soon be choked. Cyrus' living in the Court of Cyarexes, 
●●●phon.  and having a great banquet provided for him, distributed it too those that had taught him somewhat, either to ride or to dart, or some such like quality, but Sacas the Cuphearers share was least, because the nice gentleman was good for nothing, but to fill Wine with two fingers into the kings Bowl. Archelaus perceiving an old soker jog him on the elbow, and pull him by the fleeve as he sat at Supper, requesting to have a cup of Gold; caused it strait to be given too Euripides: and turning his face to the bold beggar, told him, that he was worthy to crave it, but Euripides to have it. O that our Courtiers of Ferara wholde remember this, and when such unprofitable Leaches suck at their flesh, bestow the thing which they beg upon the learned. Otherwise for my part (though I be an inch and a half, behind the best, yet an ace, at the lest, before the worst,) I shall shortly be driven too stop bottelles with my books, and buy me a wallet.  
The Romans because they had received some hurt by fire, thought it good to hold a candle before the Devil, and give unto Vulcan the honour of a god, but shut him out of the City. And trust me if I thrive no better by my simple travel than I have done yet, I will reverence the Muses as long as I live, but banish then my study for fear of afterclaps.  
Cleanthes lived in such a miserable time, 
Poor Philosophers.  that he was glad to turn his Philosopher's Gown too a Miller's coat, and grind for his living; Mycillus as little regarded as he, learned of his wife too beat Wool; Diogenes as beggarly as either of both, 
A strange kind of begging.  iumpte at a Crust, and fed upon roots; And seeing himself obtain so little when he requested, accustomed too crave such things as he needed, of deaf Images, that knowing them, not to understand his necessity, through want of hearing; nor to be moved to pity, for lack of humanity, the repulse that he took, might grieve him the less. Hard bones steeped a time in Ashes and Vinegar may be easily cut with a weavers woof; ivory is softened with barley Growte; somekinde of water eats into steel, but it was never my fortune with any confection to pierce the heart of a stony Courtier. Thucydides thinketh it no shame for any man to confess his need, but they (I mean those of Ferara, whom I have tried, & speak it too thee, Philotimo, whom I trust,) if Philosophers catch them by the Elbow, say, they presume; if they show them their poverty, judge them impudent; and turn them of with some pretty delays, from morning to evening, from early to late, from childhood to manhood, from manhood, to middle age, from middle age to dotage, from dotage too death, sending them post, from Ferara too Florence, from Velona to Venice, from Caraia to China, from the middle of the earth, too the man in the Moon. Let Gentlemen come to seek recompense, whose ancestors have wasted their lands, and lost their lives in the Prince's quarrel; they say with Antigonus that it is their fashion to reward men for that which they do themselves: Let a scholar approach & demand a penny, they answer, that a courtier disdaineth to give so little; if he ask a pound, Philosophers aught not to take somuch: thus neither giving much to the learned, for hindering their study; nor little, for shaming of themselves; nor rewarding their Soldiers, when they are dead; nor regarding their children, in whom they live; Tully hath taught them to lock up their Chest, ut id semper dent, quod libenter daunt; which is indeed, neither one thing nor other. Wherein I might say that the very Heathens have gone beyond them, which guided only by moral virtue, thought it their duties to spend all their time in doing good.  
In the court of Persia they had a crier every morning to call them up, and warn them to look very diligently unto that which with Mesoromasdes gave them in charge; And what was that, but to honour their God, to govern their country with good jaws, to keep of the enemy from invasion, & to reward every man for his virtue? 
The three Graces.  The Court aught to be the palace of the three graces: the first is called Aglaia, of her brightness, or beauty, and that is Honour: The second Euphrosyne, of her modesty or wisdom, and that is Learning; the third Thalia, of gentle entreaty, which is the very Goddess of courteous entertainment. And Seneca bringeth them in dancing a round, 
Lib. de benefitiis. 1.  hand in hand, with smiling faces, that they might ever be giving with a cheerful countenance. Whereby you may gather how beautiful a thing it is in Courtiers, to be liberal, which is one of the pillars of their glory. For their nobility comes of their progeny, their wealth is the harvest of Fortune's flattery, their victories are the fruits of their soldiers valiancy: The first, may quickly be blotted with vice, the next, may whither as fast with adversity; the last, is attributed too more than themselves; and all are subject to sudden change. But the praise of a benefit, the report of courtesy, the glory that shineth in the works of mercy, is all their own, not left them by their ancestors, nor lent them by fortune, nor common to other, still sounding their renown with a golden Trumpet, building them up such Trophies, such Triumphs, such Idols, such Monuments, as neither wind shall shake, nor wether beaten, nor water rot, nor fire consume, nor Foes deface, nor force diminish, nor clouds darken, nor time itself shallbe able to devour.  
I have set you down two of those points, Philotimo, which I ever wished to be in a Courtier, Learning & Liberality: 
Flatterers too be driven from Court.  The next is, to beware of Flatterers. For they with Polypus, with Proteus, with Chameleons altar themselves into many shapes, many shadows, many colours. Sometime they make themselves glasses of your conditions. Alcibiades at Athens did hunt & hawk, & behave himself pleasantly in company: At Lacedaemon he shaved his head, put on the robs of a scholar, & lived solitary: In Thracia he bore up his sword like a soldier, in Tisapherne he lived like a wanton Lover, ever cutting his cloth too the fashion of them with whom he was conversant.  
But Plato was the same man in the Court, that he was in the University; all one with Dion & Dionysius. The flatterers of Alexander carried their heads in their bosom, because he went stooping; of Dionysius, made themselves blind, when his sight was gone; of Plato, spread out their shoulders, because his were broad; of Aristotle, tripped in their tongues, because he stammered. The cunning fouler, is clothed in feathers; the crafty ranger, in dears skins; the Angler, shadoweth himself with a Rock; the flatterer duck's in a friars Weed, for his own advantage. If thy nose be flat, they say thou art lovely; if it be hooked, them art thou kingly; if thou be black, they affirm thou art manly; if thou be fair, than art thou heavenly; if thou be deformed, they make thee beautiful; if crooked, strait; if feeble, strong; if little, great; if dwarfish, monstrons; if thou be but a hop on my Chumbe, as high as three hersloves, or stand on a Moulehill to look into a mustard pot, they call thee a giant. When thou runnest, thou art Pegasus; when thou wrestlest, thou art Hercules; when thou fightest, thou art Mars; when thou speakest, thou art Mercury; when thou singest, thou art Apollo; when thou frownest, thou art Saturn; when thou chidest, jupiter himself begins to thunder. The Sicilians overturned their own state, when the● soothed up Dionysius cruelty, by the name of justice; the Egyptians corrupted their common wealth when they called Ptolomees faint heart the fear of gods. The Romans gelded the good government of their country, when they flattered Antonius, turning his quaffing to mirth, and his lust to friendship. When Caesar triumphed in other men's blood, his Parasites said, he was half a god. When Caligula spoke like a fool in the Senate, Domitius gave him the prize of eloquence, and Vitellius affirmed that he had lain with the Moon. Anaxarchus perceiving that Alexander for murdering of Clitus, began to be troubled in his conscience, told him straight, that he had done well, because a king is the image of God, and whatsoever God doth, proceeds of justice. When Tiberius the Emperor came to the Senate, a sycophant presently started up & accused him there, for having a care unto his duty; O Caesar, said he, though heretofore none durst tell you your fault, I am forced at this time to show it myself; you regard not yourself, you weary your mind with many cares, and wear your body with infinite labours, never resting by day, nor sleeping by night for our sakes. These kind of people in short time, are able to make great men forget themselves. Therefore it shallbe good for Courtiers to sifre them thoroughly, to distinguish them cunningly, and last of all willingly, to shake them off.  
Maximus Tyrius, blazeth their Properties in three points: In Use, in End, in Affect of the mind: In Use, they are altogether unprofitable, & like the Ape, which being unable to keep the house as a dog; to draw, as the Ox; to carry, as the Horse; is driven by gesture to move delight: As by fetching a frisk or two over the chain, or imitating that which they see in us, to procure laughter. Such a fellow was Antiphon, whom Dionysius slew; and Timagines, whom Caesar banished the Court; For neither of them both, applied their mind to give counsel, but behaved themselves like common jesters, seeking only to make those Princes merry. Unskilful Painters, when they cannot express the beauty of things, botch it out with wrinkles & warts, and store of freckles: And flatterers, when they cannot perform the office of a friend, huddle it up with ridiculous gesture. The End of their study is to profit themselves: Not vermin breed, where they find no warmth; no Vultures stoop, where they smell no prey; no flies swarm, where they see no flesh; no Pilgrim creeps, where there is no cross; no Parasite lurks, where he finds no gain. In Affect of the mind, they are wonderful hypocrites, having a continual combat, & a pitched field betwixt their words and their thoughts, their tongues & their hearts, many times exercising the wrestlers, craft, who boweth his body to catch other on the hip; or the Fencer's quality, which counterfeits a kind of lying open, to take his adversary at more advantage. Such, affirm all those vices which they see in other, to be in themselves, & like unto them that tame wild beasts, frame their behaviour to every thing, that they perceive them do, till by little and little they bring them close to their own bent. Mardonius the Captain, flattered Xerxes so long, that he caused all Asia to take armour, covered the seas with abundance of ships, by which the king took a very great overthrow, was driven by flight to save himself, and the Sycophant was one of the first that was slain, they which give so much credit to flatterers, 
They which credit flatterers are compared to brazen pots.  make themselves no better than brazen pots, be they never so large of mould, or weighty of metal, they are easily borne about by the ears. It were better for thee, Philotimo, in thy courting, to ride a rough Colt without a bridle, than sweet lips with a soft saddle: the one, if thou sit not fast, will not spare to cast thee, but teach thee the better to look to thyself: the other, whatsoever thou dost will never molest thee, but bloster thee up in thine own folly. Alexander was angry with Crisson, for giving him leave to outrun him in course. One told Menedemus, that he was highly commended by Alexinus; But Menedemus answered, that he did ever dispraise Alexinus. Antist●●●us Hercules, charged his sons, not to believe such, as they saw● too busy in lifting them up. I will not deny, that Virtue by praise is deeper rooted, but flatterers come as little at virtue as they can. The mind is divided into two parts; the one is partaker of reason, which inclineth to virtue, and leans to wisdom, the other is ●ue fellow unto Sense, which cleaves unto vice, and loves to be rickled. This part is evermore scratched by flatterers, who stand with their hands full of fuel, to increase our fire, & are ready with their mouth to blow the coals: they creep so far into your bosom by privy englishing, that I may compare them to queasy meats; if you keep them in your stomach, they make you surfeit; if you cast them up, they strain every string of the heart at departure. Therefore resist them Philotimo, at the first, & if you perceive them to begin with commendation of your qualities to curry favour, tell them with Pindarus, that thou hast already rewarded their travel, because thy life doth not make them liars.  
The last and chiefest thing, 
Religion in Court.  which I judge to be necessary in Courtiers, is religion, which I showed thee by Lactantius, to be the first thing that is required in the office of justice: And justice is the pillar of Prince's Courts. 
Com. in Eth. li. 3. cap. 13.  But Foxius agreeing with Aristotle, affirmeth Religion to be the mother of justice, and all other virtues: So that neither true justice may stand without religion, nor religion without justice. The name which the greeks have given to religion, 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉  showeth it to be the right worship of God: If this be corrupted, justice perisheth; And if justice shrink, this goes to the wall. Therefore, all Philosophers going about too decipher a good common wealth, begin with religion, acknowledging a divine nature chief to be worshipped. Alexander made no wars against strangers for the riches of India, the dainties of Media, the wine of Chalidon, or the fishes of Hyrcanie; but to bring all nations to the obedience of his laws, and worship of his Gods. Ptolomaeus Philadelphus, a learned Prince, thought Religion so necessary in his Court and country, that he entertained the seventy Interpreters with great courtesy, which were sent unto him from Eleazar the high priest, and after they had instructed him seventy days, he returned them back with rich rewards. But because these were Heathens, which never came near the mark, though they desired to cleave the pin. I will go more roundly to work, and bring God himself to plead his own cause.  
Princes are the Images of God, & are called gods in sundry places of the scriptures, that they might execute his will upon the earth. All honour, all power, all pessession, all authority, is the gift of God, it is his work that Prince's rule, and their courts flourish. Therefore David willeth them all to kiss the begotten son of God, 
〈…〉.  which is, to embrace religion and throw themselves down at the feet of Christ. It is impossible, for the hen to forsake her chicken, or the mother, the child of her own womb: yet if the one or the other be so unnatural too leave their own, 
Esay. 49.  God will never forget his. In token whereof he hath promised by the mouth of his prophet, to make princes the fathers of his Church, and their courts, the very nurseries of religion. Paul exhorting Timothe to pray for kings and great men, 
1. Tim. 2.  that we may live quietly and godly under them, seems by those words to attribute the patronage of the Gospel to the Court. If God do shine brightest in his ministers, 
Ministers.  whose tongues are the trumpets of his will; to tread down them, dishonoureth him; to stop their mouths, eclipseth his glory; to shoulder them out, displaceth him; to pinch them, nippeth him; to strike them, woundeth him; to rail at them, revileth him: All which inconveniences quickly grow, where the Courtier like a good Ajax, doth not hold out his buckler, 
jud. vlt.  to cover Ulysses. josua calling the rulers of Israel together before his death, chargeth them, because the Lord hath given them lands, which they never purchased; Cities, which they never built, Vineyards, which they never planted; to serve him in holiness and truth, which is religion. And when they had confessed the Lord to be their God, vowing obedience unto him, he presently registered their promise in the book of God, and erected a dumb stone for a witness of their belief, to cry vengeance against them, if they slipped the collar. Doubtless the bringing up of josua with Moses, 
josu. 1.  was a good mean to make him a captain to God's people, whose word was appointed to be his direction. If courtier's borrow this clue, of a godly Theseus, to match with Chimaera and bear up their sword with josua in the lords quarrel, jordan shall dry for their armies to pass, their spies shall be harboured in the midst of jericho, the Sun shall stop to give them victory, and all shall prospero that they take in hand. Because the weapons of ministers are prayers and tears, and the Church hath no authority to compel, it is the duty of Princes by good laws and statutes to establish religion, & force every man to live in order. Where this is foreslewed, the wrath of God is kindled against the Court, & his plague lighteth on the whole country. Solomon had no sooner forgotten God, and fallen to Idolatry, but God swore that he would tear the crown from his head, disherit his son, and deliver his kingdom to a stranger. Run through the scriptures, you shall find them very sharply scourged, which went about to suppress Religion. jeroboam stretcheth out his hand against the Prophet, and it withereth. Ahab rob God of his honour, empriprisoned his messengers, and was slain with an arrow; Azahia, for flying to strange gods is threatened death, & his soldiers consumed with fire from heaven; Herod, forgetting religion and dishonouring God, is eaten with worms. I have often wondered with myself, Philotimo, knowing Princes to be placed in their chair by God, how they dare suffer any wickedness, in the Court, which representeth the throne of his heavenly Majesty: how they can possibly blaspheme with that tongue which is given them to honour him, how they presume with that hand to murder his shepherds, which they have received to fight for religion? In that we have abundance of worldly blessings, we are earthly; in that we frame ourselves to the worship of God, we are made heavenly. The eyes of brute beasts are turned down to the earth, to seek nothing but meat for their bellies: The countenance of man is lifted to heaven, to behold the glory of God in his works, which hath made all things for us; us, for himself, that we might acknowledge his goodness in the same, and honour him for it all the days of our life. If we do not this, we spend our time in beholding the earth, we seek nothing else but to garnish our bodies, or pamper our flesh, which maketh us like unto savage beasts. Then what is the glory of a Courtier without religion? What is his government without godliness?  
If thou wilt prove a good Courtier, Philotimo, departed from Ferara, the pit of Ignorance: the storehouse of greediness; the palace of Flatterers; the slewes of Idolatry, and travel to England, where thou shalt find a country, so governed with good laws; a people, so instructed in the fear of God; a church, so reformed in religion; a Court, so learned, so liberal, so virtuous, so godly, a Deborah, so victorious over Sisara, so thankful to God, so dreadful to the wicked, so beloved of the good, so just in judgement, so many years quiet, that thou wilt doubt whether thou shouldest think her Majesty fortunate, in obedient subjects, or pronounce the whole land to be blessed, for so good a prince. By this little shadow of a courtier, which, as time will serve, I have roughly drawn, cunning workmen may gather the breadth of his body. You may see by this, that he aught to be learned, because it is necessary for them to know many things, which govern many, and to bridle themselves when they sit so high, the one confirmed, by the examples of Alexander, of Darius, of Agamemnon's eyes and head, of Croesus, of Philip, of Dionysius, and all those which received Philosophers into the court to be instructed by them: The other laid open in Clitus, Lysimachus, Clearchus, and Caesar, which traveled to fight for renown in other countries, but never sailed into themselves, to bolt out the power that God hath over them, and to confess their own weakness which stand at his check. To be liberal: by the comparison of a spring, the end of wealth, the daughters of nature, the doctrine of Plato, the society of man, the need that themselves may have ere they die, as Croesus, Cyrus, Antigonus, Crassus, the manner of Cyrus & Archelaus, the day peal of the Persians, the property of the Graces, and the glory of bounty passing nobility of birth, honour in Court, riches of Fortune, or conquest in field. To banish all Flatterers for their apish imitation, their unprofitable friendship, their study of gain, and their hypocrisy. Last of all to seek the advancement of religion, by the duty of a prince, by the examples of Alexander & Ptolemy, by the image of God, the footsteps of josua, the authority of scriptures, and the happiness of England, which enforteth me here through want of skill in describing the beauty of that Court, to shut up my lips: as the banquished painter, who finding himself unable lively to set out the sorrows of Niobe, was driven to wrap up her head in a cloud.  
Truly said jeraldy, In my simple judgement, you have showed yourself a very good workman. 
Alexander's counterfeit.  For Alexander desired to have his picture cut in brass, and wrought in such metal by none but Lysippus, because none but he, did labour to express his Lion's looks; others spoiling him quite of the shape of a soldier, blazed the rolling of his eyes, and his amorous gesture. divers have painted the Courtier in smooth speech, witty replies, comely behaviour, excellent dancing, which are like to the wanton gloss of Alexander, but thou hast cast his Idol with perfecter metal, in a good mould, and carved him out the face of a man. And Man of an old Poet is called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, 
Man, according to old poets and Philosophers.  which signifieth brightness, according to your Etymology of one of the Graces: Some Philosophers thought the substance of the mind to be a light, because it is fearful in the night, it is troubled with darkness, it shuns it as a foe, and is comforted again when the day peeps. Learning is often compared to light; Ignorance contrary, likened to darkness; In so much that when our Readers have opened to us, the thing that we doubted, we say that they have given us a great light; when any thing passeth our capacity, we say, it is intricate, dark, and obscure. Thus if a Man be light, his mind light, learning light, and if it be necessary, that Simile semper appetat simile, like rejoice evermore in his like, what can be more natural than the brightest minds, to borrow most light? the greatest Courtiers, to prove best Clerks? Thou hast rightly required them to be liberal, because the bounty of the Courts is the Sunshine of knowledge, without which Philosophers wither away. Thou desirest them farther to abandon flatterers, which like unto moothes eat such holes in their garments, as cannot be seen. till the nap of their cloth be worn away. Last of all, thou thinkest it necessary next unto God, for Courtiers with authority in statutes and armour in field to maintain the liberty of religion, confirming thy purpose by holy scriptures, wherein thou showest the practice of a good Captain, which furnisheth the rearward with his best soldiers, to renew the fight, when the first retire, and knit up the skirmish with a canuazado. What is so common in this world, 
Orat. pro. Roscio Amerino.  as breath to the living? graves to the dead? Sea to the Sailor? Shore to his wrack? Then what sharper punishment than this could the Romans devise for such as had wilfully murdered their parents, to enclose them quick in a leathern sack, and cast them into the River Tiber? So they live, while they may, that they draw no comfortable spirit from the heavens; so they die, that the earth disdaineth to cover their carcase; so they float, that they touch no water; so at last they are driven by tide to the shore, that they are not suffered to rest on the sand, but are rob of all these benefits at once. And what is so necessary in the Court, as learning to government? regard too friendship? Wealth too Nobility? Religion too authority? Then tell me, Philotimo, what greater plague can be powered on Courtiers, for kill their parents, by despising their laws, and loathing their Precepts, than so too rule when they list, that they borrow no advice from the top of knowledge? so too bury themselves in the depths of Security, that never a true friend may come at their Coffin? so to swim in abundance, that they feel no store? and in the end so strangely to strike with the Sword, that it never be grounded on the word of GOD? but to be spoiled of all these ornaments at once? The first corrupted with ignorance, the other with flattery, the next with greediness, the last with the want of the true worship of GOD. These reasons enforce me too agreed with you, Phialo, but me thinks Sir Philotimo standeth in a Trance, as though he were blasted with change of weather.  
Philotimo smile told him again that he was not blasted, for he never knew Philaoes' breath too be so stormy, but was rather amazed at his craft, which according to his own precepts in the Method of rebuking, could touch him so near and draw no blood. 
●eery beating  Aristotle saith that the Tyrrhaeni, when their servants offended, accustomed to beat them to the sound of Instruments, that the pleasure of the one might help too mitigate the pain of the other.  
And Phialo, quoth he, hath whipped me so pleasantly, that I am sorry my punishment was no longer. Whereat all three laughed heartily, and perceiving Dinner brought in too break of their talk, they fell too their victuals.  
After they had dined, jeraldi accompanied the two Gentlemen into the City, too show Philotimo, the Galleys that were then newly rigged, and launched, ready too encounter the Turk. Thus taking their Gundolet, they passed for pleasure too and fro the streets where with wonderful content Philotimo beheld the bravery of the City, so long with his eyes, that Fancy slipped down in too the Corners of his heart. For at a glimpse he espied such a Sun aloft, as dazzled his eyes with the blaze of her light.  
Therefore pulling his hat somewhat over his forehead endeavouring closely to steal a look, he began too turn his head at one side, and roll up his eyes too the Window again.  
jeraldi quickly perceiving the bent of his Bow, and notying the Level, descried his mark, giving privy advertisement of the same too Phialo. Both of them cunningly dissembled the matter for a while, and were very well pleased too see the Hawk fly; wherein I marvel, whether was greater, the delight of them that sprung such a Partridge without Spaniels; or the danger of him that soared so high with wings of wax.  
At the last jeraldi seeing his feathers to scorch so fast, that the smoke arose, cast out the lure to make him stoop. And catching Philotimo by the sleeve, asked him, how the manner of their building pleased his eye? So well, quoth Philotimo, that in my opinion the cunningest workmen in Italy may truss up their tools, and though they think well of their painted sheaths, be glad too come hither for a pattern. Were this City the Town of Ephesus, I would judge yonder Palace, for the beauty & brightness of the same, to be the chief Temple of Diana.  
I cannot blame you, said Phialo, you have taken the pattern of such a frame, as Art may imitate, but never be able to express. Therefore I pray you remember the speech yourself used to me concerning this place, take heed that to prove your words true, you make not yourself an open Precedent. Venus' the Goddess of this City was bred in the Sea, and beats a Froth, close up your eyes, and gaze no more, you know not what trouble such Comets threaten.  
O sir, answered Philotimo, Himeraeus the Poet did writ against Helen, but at last he was glad too recant his sayings. Anacreon for one discourtesy to Cleobulus in his childhood, requited him with a thousand good words when he grew too age. How much is Venus' fairer than Helen? comelier than Cleobulus? whose goddeship if rashly I have blasphemed, neither the Presents of Oracles, nor the treasure of Ganges, nor the horses of Troy, nor the Virgins of Lesbian, nor the revenues of my land, nor the jewels of my Chest, nor the offering of my blood, but only the tongue that hath wounded her credit, can appease her anger. Therefore sith I have not subscribed, I will revoke, ex nudo pacto non oritur actio, bore words are no lawful bargains.  
Dissemble not with your friends, quoth jeraldi, Poetical fictions will not beat out your folly, nor the quirks of the law excuse such Apostasy before god. Signiora Polyphile, whom you beheld, is daughter unto a dear friend of mine, if her behaviour were answerable to her beauty, or her life to her face; she might be a Paragon for a greater person. She is properly learned, she hath a smooth tongue, and she is very subtle in disputation. I have often assayed too win her from looseness of living, and save her soul: But I find her so fraught with Philosophy, and full of shifts, that I carry away the worst end of the staff. Therefore let me crave your companies a-againe too morrow, I will sand for her home to my-house too dinner, & try home she is able to match with you, Phialo. I like your weapons & order of fight so well, that I have no doubt you will overcome.  
Certes, said he, I was never Leontinus Gorgias scholar, too dispute any question on the sudden, yet if I may have the truth on my side, little study shall serve me too wrestle with women. Thus bringing jeraldi back to his house with many great thanks for their entertainment, they took their leave till, the next day.  
What either jeraldi did in their absence or they when they were returned too their lodging, is the least part of my meaning too touch, because I have taken this only upon me, too show the fruit of Phialoes' conference among his friends.   

¶ The third book, the defence of the Courtesan, and her overthrow.  
WHEN the day was come, according too their promise, Philotimo & Phialo want to the house of jeraldi at dinner time, where they found the gentlewoman, & him in sober talk, jeraldi entertained them friendly, and requested Signiora Polyphile to do the like, who behaved herself so demurely in presence, that they could not judge her counterfatte, by stamp, or by sound. Therefore Philotimo, boldly stepped somewhat nigher and like a young Courtier, ministered talk on so small acquaintance, as far as he might, with honour and modesty.  
But Phialo keeping himself aloof, as one that had taken a Crow too pull, stood at one side, till jeraldi had placed them all at the Table. During the time of the Dinner, Philotimo dypt not his finger so ofte● in the dish as he fastened his eyes upon Polyphile. jeraldi perceiving the gentleman come to his bias, told her, that Philotimo was deeply bound unto her, whose countenance seemed too feed him better than any of those dishes that were brought too the table. To whom the Gentlewoman with blushing cheeks and a soft speech replied thus. 
Nutriens simile nutrito.  You know, Sir jeraldi, that Philosophers are always of this opinion, that the thing which nourisheth, must ever be like unto that which is nourished; and the nourished thing, to the nourisher. Therefore the Chameleon which liveth by air, hath nothing within but lights and lungs. Then if this Gentleman's stomach agreed better with my face, then with your cheer, my sauce than your ●reate, there must needs be a Sympathy, between his liking and my looks. And what are the looks of a woman, but shadows? on which if this Gentleman feed so fast, I shall take him henceforth for a shape without substance.  
It were strange, said Philotimo, too hear shadows speak, or to see shapes without substance move of themselves. But sith you have showed yourself a philosopher, give me leave by Philosophy to make you an answer. 
Strabo & Pli.  Some writers hold this opinion, that there lieth a kind of people at the river Ganges, which are called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, men without mouths; These are nourished with the savour of flowers. 
Lacrtius.  Democritus for sorrow of his sister's mishap, going about too famish himself, was relieved three days with the smell of new bread. Oribasius protesteth that he knew a Philosopher in his time, which lived a while by the scent of honey, 
Cureus.  And Melancthon is said to affirm that a Lecher in Germany, condemned too pine unto death for his offence, was sustained a long time in prison, with the smoke of broiled meats, to prolong his days in greater misery. Sundry Philosophers take pepper in the nose & fall out with Aristotle, for standing so stifely in his own conceit, that he will not have men to be nourish with odours. For Hypocrates and Galen boldly pronounce, 
Aphoris.  that the patiented consumed is soon restored again by savours. What force there is in shadows, you may perceive by those that gaze upon excellent pictures so long that they have no mind to their victuals, but are filled with delight:: by reading fine books we forget ourselves and let go our commons. When we are busied in pleasant pastimes, the night overtakes us, we know not how; then judge me no more to be but a show, because I have dived so well with your shadow, which is better to me then the savour of flowers, the smell of new bread, the sent of sweet honey, the smoke of roast meat, the view of fair pictures, the books of my study, or the pleasure of sports. Hypocrates dividing the body men three parts, the first gross and earthly, our bones and flesh; the second liquid and watery, our blood and humours; the third, subtle & airy, which is our spirits; affirmeth the last too be maintained by savours. And it shall be sufficient for me to say, that these dishes before us, do nourish my body, but too look upon you, quickeneth my spirits, and 〈◊〉 my mind. If this will not serve to persuade you that I am somewhat more than a shape; try when you please, you shall find me a substance.  
At this Polyphile began to smile, jeraldi & Phialo laughed in their sleeves till their hearts tickled. At last every thing being taken away. Philotimo renewed his talk again, and told them, that if they judged him to be rebuked for his amorous gloating, they were all to blame, which, quoth he, I will show you as well as I can.  
The skilful that behold the Image of Minerva, commend not the picture but the Painter; we extol not so much the taste of our meat, as the Cook's cunning that seasoned it well; no man esteemeth his coin for the stamp, but for the right metal when it comes to the touch. And I wonder not so greatly at the beauty of this gentlewoman, as at his workmanship that made the mould, neither do I like her sweet face; that glistereth without, but love her good qualitties, that shine within. The Sun doth not only comfort our hearts with his light, 
Beautiful faces are virtues buds.  but foster our grai●e in the Earth with his warmth. Rivers are clear and fair to behold, but they water the soil & make it fruitful; Tree● are bethwackt with blossoms in springe, but those are the tokens of fruit to come. Thus when I do gaze on a comely body, I behold with mine eyes the Garden of Virtue. The Mariner no sooner espieth his Mark, but he knows that he draweth very near the land; Ulysses rejoiced in the smoke of Ithaca, but it was for the love he bore to his country; The Hunter singleth the fairest Deer, but for the good meat he finds it to yield; And Socrates followed the brightest countenance, because he knew it to be a true sign of Modesty. 
Moors animi sequuntur temperatura corporis.  Philosophers hold that the disposition of the mind agreeth with the constitution of the body: whereby they judged deformed creatures to have some spot or other in their conditions; writing many books of Zopirus doctrine, who took upon him by looking in our face to tell us our faults. But where the lineaments are all of just proportion, every part of the body wroughtout of wax, and the face so beautiful, that Venus herself might blush for shame; who is so rude, so ignorant, so sottish, so unleatned, to says, that sweet waters are distilled of weeds, Fine Cambrik made of hemp, English cloth spun of hair: That strait personages have crooked manners, fair faces foul vices, good complexions ill conditions? doth not one Doctor tell you, that that which is beautiful is not hurtful, nor slippery, 
Max. Tyr.  nor sinful, nor wretched? That love is a virtue, an art, a just judge? A virtue, in seeking the thing that is good: an art; in gathering the substance by the shadow: and a perfect judge, in discovering the mine, by the colour of the earth, bolting the truth, when he hears the Plea, discerning the party, when he sees the person. Cyrus' loved Aspasia for beauty, and the use of her body; Pericles for learning and the light of her mind, the one her paramour, rejoicing in plea sure; the other her scholar delighting in virtue. Hiperides the orator used the company of many fair women, as Phryne, Myrrhine, Aristagora, Eleusine, And when Phryne was accused for lewdness in Athens, and almost condemned, he used no other defence in her cause, but speedily tore of her uppermost garment, closed her naked Breast too the judges, showed them the comeliness of her body, as though it were impossible, that so proper a piece should have a fault: Whereupon the judges marking her well, and considering uprightly, that so green a branch, must bewray good sap; so gallant buds, a glorious tree; so bright a shadow, a blazing substance; so amiable a visage, lovely behaviour; so perfect a creature, absolute manners; acquitted her by sentence, and let her go. O worthy beauty, O learned judges, O notable virtue, O noble justice! What is he, that would not rather lose his robes, his seat, his authority, his office, than falsely suspect thee, or call thee to the bar; rashly accuse thee, or give out his verdict against thy majesty.  
Anytus and Melitus the whips of Socrates, in all that ever they declared against him, never cast in his teeth that he was beauties bloodhound; Aristophanes flouting him on the stage, though he called him brabbler, carper, & caviller, never laid in his dish, that he loved to look upon glistering faces. Had either of them thought it to be a deformity, they had rung him that peal as long as their Clappers had been able too wag. Beware Sir jeraldi, and you friend Phialo, that you rob not beauty of her honour, nor spoil her of her ornaments, jest the day come, wherein you be enforced to turn your rippetes, to change your copy, to lay your hands under her feet to please her, or to look upon that, that you should not behold, or to love the thing that nature forbiddeth you to desire. Narcissus disdaining the beauty of a Nymph, pined away for his own shadow: Augustus that stopped his ears to Cleopatra, suffered the vanities of Bathillus: Alexander that refused to look on the Ladies of Persia, whilst they lived, lamented their loss with tears when they died: Xerxes that pulled away his eyes from the Virgins of India, the damsels of Media, the women of Caria, the dames of Lydia, the wives of jonium, the faces of Hellespont: despised grapes, and gathered thistles; loathed honey, and eat gall; fled them, and followed Amastris his dauther in law.  
Thus when you perceive the blindness of those, that knew not the softest threads to twist silk, the fairest face to cover virtue; And when you consider the danger of those that desired not to learn it when they understood it not, blame me no more for beholding this gentlewoman, it is not the lantern of her beauty, that giveth light, though she be glass; but the candle within, that maketh her shine, to the comfort of all that use her well.  
jeraldi seeing Philotimo in such an heresy, told him that he little thought too have taken up his Arrow so far from the mark; he requested their company to exhort Polyphile to a better life, not to give her a veil to hide her 〈◊〉.  
Why, said the Gentlewoman, is it your fashion, to wink on the Ewe, and worry the Lamb; to feast your friends, & beat them with the spit? Did you draw me so craftily with meat to the stake, to see me baited by these Philosophers? yet sith it is your pleasure, too try what I can allege for myself, which live as I list, and serve my lust; you shall hear that reason fights on my side, therefore neither of these gentlemen aught to open his mouth against me, my face hath already muzzled the one, my tongue shall seal up the others lips. Minerva was said to stand with Menelaus in the midst of his peril, and drive every dart that was thrown at him, to the bulk of his Buckler; causing a scarlet sweat too to run down his body like streams of blood, whereby his enemies were ever deceived: And I doubt not but Venus herself will strike in this quarrel for my defence, rebating the edge of mine enemies swords, blearing their sight with the shadow of blood, when the uppermost part of my skin is not razed. This hath caused many too chase us so far, thinking us wounded when we took no hurt, that they have not been able to recover themselves. What are all the arguments of the Stopckes? have they not laboured so much against us, to weed ●ut affections, that they pull up the cockle and Corn together? Have they not so rashly inveighed against pleasure, that they leave no place for honest delight? have they not so studied to drown vice, that they quench out the sparks of every virtue? have they not so tied our life to their own imagination, that nature in nothing must be followed? O jeraldi, o gentlemen, when I enter into consideration of this little world, which is in ourselves, when I hear the voice of Philosophy cry out against them, & the trumpet of nature proclaim them traitors, how can I but seek my wonted delights, or gape after pleasure, the food of this life. Nature hath taught us, in plentiful orchards, to taste every tree, and chose the best: in pleasant fields to slip, of the fairest of every stalk: and are not we think you, placed in this world to try every gallant, & take what we like. This is the race we aught to run, this is the mark we aught to shoot at, this is the end which Nature sendeth us out too seek. Little children are no sooner borne, but they sprawl to this, crowing pertly when they obtain it, crying & bellowing when they find the contrary. In riper age every man toileth for some profit, & profit is pleasant when it is gotten. Doth not any man think you rather desire to tread the smooth ground, than the rugged stones; to sail in a calm, then in a storm; to live in quietness then in trouble? and what is this to be counted but pleasure? you will say peradventure that it is so, but the happiness that we are bound to seek, must be won by virtue, & desired for itself. What if I show you that pleasure is such? All that we do, all that we go about in this life, is to purchase pleasure, which I think sometime to be felt in torment: as Caius Marius, that suffered the knotty flesh to be cut from his leg with intolerable pain, not changing his countenance, because he hoped for ease to come. Thus the pain that we suffer to shun a worse grief, is very high pleasure. Let us suppose some one or other to be grievously oppressed with anguish of body and mind, neither remembering any pleasure past, nor hoping for any to come hereafter, can there be any greater misery? Contrary, to him in whom all pleasures of body and mind abound, which delighteth in that he hath tasted already, rejoiceth in that which is before him, & hopes for the like or greater to come, can there be any thing more to be wished? can there be any sweeter felicity? Lovers disdained and dashed out of countenance, when they neither taste of relief, nor see any hope of grace at all, say that they feel in themselves a hell, but he that obtaineth the joys he desired, affirmeth himself to swim in Heaven: whereby I gather, that hell is a sorrow, sorrow misery, heaven a pleasure, and pleasure happiness. Vices are to be fled because of torment; & is not virtue to be sought for pleasures sake? we like of Physic, not for the art, but for the end; the end is health, which easeth our pain and bringeth pleasure: we delight in seafaring, not for the cunning of guiding ships, but for the commodity which it breeds: and commodity is handmaid to lady Pleasure. What think you of every virtue in general? is not wisdom a knowledge of things to be followed, when they are good; to be eschewed, when they are nought? If they be good, they are pleasant, if nought them are they irksome. Wisdom reformeth our manners, ordereth our life, ruleth our country, resisteth our enemy, taketh up discord, planteth agreement, turneth out malice, bringeth in friendship, and knitteth us together in love and amity. O what a delight, what a pleasure is this? Temperance is a virtue which teacheth us by reason how to bridle affections & too govern ourselves in the midst of our pleasures. Fortitud consisteth in yielding our necks too dangers yok●, bearing our burden without grudge, and gauging our heads too the Hatchet without groan: which is done, either that ourselves by this might live in quiet, and reckon up too our friends with infinite joy, what pikes we have passed, what perils we have valiantly overcome: So Aeneas comforteth his Soldiers with this, Hac olim meminisse twabit: We shall delight to think on these troubles an other day: or to deliver our country & purchase fame which tickeleth our hearts in sharpest anguish when we conceive what pleasures shall grow to our friends by our death, and what honour we shall have among succeeding ages. Thus Scaevola presented his body to the fire. Curtius' hurled himself into the gulf, and Iphigenia was contented to be sacrificed. justice regarding the common weal, giveth to every man his own, whose duty is to minister law for the maintenance of right, & suppressing of wrong. By taking no wrong, we escape the jaws of sorrow & misery, by enjoying our own, we live in pleasure.  
These four are the springs whence every virtue begins too flow; Pleasure the Sea, too which they run, & where all of them jointly do end their course. rhetoric, Logic, Philosophy, Music, all Arts, all Sciences, are referred too this, that they might profit, and bring us pleasure. How triumpheth the Orator, when he seeth the Client delivered by his tongue? how laughs the Logician, when he perceives his enemy driven to a blank? how smiles the Philosopher to himself, when he hath sifted the secrets of hidden causes? How leaps the musician, when he beholdeth men ravished with his melody? The beasts of the earth, the fishes of the Sea, the fowls of the air, the Son, the Moon, the course of the Stars, the four Elements, the whole world was made for our use, & this use is the root of all our pleasure; Our speech is given us too increase acquaintance: acquaintance maketh us delight in company, which banisheth sorrow, heaviness, disquietness, solitariness: all which if we shun, we live in pleasure. Our eyes present every delectable shadow to the mind, but when they view any ugly shape, any monster, any enemy, that may hurt us any way, or diminish our pleasure, our hair stands, our heart throbs, our body shakes, our sense fails, our limbs stiffen, out wits faint, nature herself starts up affrighted, and swelleth against it, till she found it removed out of our way. The like may be said of hearing, smelling, taste, and touch. Do not our ears draw us too mirth, drive us from mourning? Do not our nostrils teach us to walk in sweet gardens, shun the foul streets; to smell to the Rose & burn the Hemlock? hath not our taste sufficiently instructed us to like of sweet meats, to loath bitter potions; to take the pomegranate, & leave the crab? are we not warned by outward feeling (which is nature's thief scout against our enemies) to clap handswith pleasure as a perfect friend; to shun the contrary as a foe? Too this end have we received hands, too thrust away every thing that would hurt us, & to pull to us all that we see might pleasure us. To this end hath nature made us feet, to fly from the thing that might displease us, and to follow whatsoever shall most delight us. Therefore were the kings of Persia judged happy, because they spent the Winter in Babylon, the summer in Media, the Spring in Susa: seeking continually too live in those places, that were most pleasant. This persuadeth me fully & not without ground, that no man which hath any wit, any learning, any manners, any curteses, any feeling of nature, or prick of conscience, any fear of the Gods, or spark of grace; seeing all virtues, all arts, all actions of this life amed at pleasure, as their end, the world made to maintain it, every part of the body to desire it, and nature herself too abhor the contrary, can deny a life so led, to enjoy perfect happiness. Then what misliketh jeraldi in Polyphile? what can these Gentlemen rebuke in me? I live agreeable to nature, that is, in pleasure. Where I look I like, where I like I love, what then?  
When love commands, we must receive the check,  
He rules and every God obeys his be●ke.  
Polyphile thus ending her Apology, each giving place to the other to reply, they were every one tonguetied, Philotimo looking upon Phialo, Phialo on jeraldi, he upon both, and she on them al. But jeraldi perceiving Phialo dumb, broke silence, ask him whether he had taken in the flag of defiance again, or as utterly vanquished, yielded himself this Gentlewoman's prisoner, because he withheld his speech so long, seeming rather to give ground then to resist.  
Sir answered Phialo, these arguments are couched together briefly; but they were never so quickly gathered as they have been uttered: Therefore I think it my duty too consider the longer of them before I reply: for questions are sooner propounded than they can he answered, demanded in few words, scant absolved in many. When one asked Zeuxis, why he was so long in drawing a counterfeit: he said indeed that he was long, but because he would have it continued long. I have all this time withdrawn myself, too beethinke me the better what to speak, & to work my colours in perfect Oil. Where the enemy comes in a coat of Steel, it is good for a Soldier to whet his sword. The wrestler many times changeth his place, but he doth it too seek out footing. Horatius fight alone too three, turned his back to sever his foes, and afterwards slew them one by one, If you see me go back, it is but too choose a place too fight in: persuade not yourself that I mean to fly, for the Ram retireth, that he might give the greater shock. I am not so afraid of their reasons, as astonished with their folly, which build up their Fortresses on brittle ground seeking too wash the face of a black Moor white, whose colour no soap will take away, or too make a silk purse of a sows ear that when it should close, will not come together.  
Sir Philotimo is so bewitched with this Gentlewoman's looks, and doteth so much in Socrates' love, that he thinks it impossible to found dusty corners in gallant houses, counterfeit stuff, in a fair stamp, Wooden Swords in ivory sheaths; apish deformities in cloth of Gold. They which have travailed Germany, find that their best Wines grow on the hardest rocks, I have seen black earth bear a white flower, the unprofitable Thorn carrieth as trim a blossom as the Apple. Thus aught we not to judge our Gold by the colour; nor the qualities of women, by their faces. When any one of you seeth me wear a fair shoe, no man knows where it wrings me, but myself; none feel the hardness of the flint, but he that strikes it: none are able to judge of women's qualities, but such as try them. If you behold the virtue of this Gentlewoman by her countenance, why do you not the like in goodly pictures, for they are beautiful? Have you not learned that the substance of the mind, cannot be discerned by outward sense? 
Solus animus de animo iudicas.  or that nothing but a mind, can at any time be arbiter of the mind? then how is it possible, sir, for you, with the sight of your eye, which reacheth no farther than her face, to take an Anatomy of her conceite●? When virtue worketh, I grant you then she is known by her deeds as the tree by the fruit: for when we perceive the Magistrate too give unto every man his own, we say he is just; and when you have seen this Gentlewoman govern her steps by the line of virtue, say she is modest. give not the praise of a judge to his Scarlet gown, nor the commendation of women, to the colour of their cheeks. The Bay is ever green, but without fruit, only presenting a sweet savour to our nostrils; the gay Platan tree spreedes a broad leaf, and yields nothing else but a shadow for Epicures. Argeus hearing some commend the beauty of other men's wives, told them that they aught not so rashly to shoot their bolts: for such should be known to none, but their husbands. Crates beholding the golden Idol of a strumpet set up in Delphos, said it was done to nourish the wantonness of the Greeks. Therefore I beseech you, Philotimo, to leave the praise of this Gentlewoman's face too such as are best acquainted with her conditions. And if you perceive that Nature hath bestowed some cunning upon her mould, think it is done, but to flatter the Venetians with her image.  
Mustering together the examples of Pericles and Aspasia, Hyperides & his barlottes; and I wot not whom; you are like unto him that waving and tottering in a great press, leans unto them too stay himself, which are borne too the ground as fast as he. The Son showeth greatest, when we behold him through a cloud: he that looketh through a piece of red glass, judgeth every thing that be views to be red: And Physicians to the likeness of this affirm, that corrupt vapours mounting from the body up too the head, and distilling again, from thence to the eyes, when they have there mingled themselves with the watery crystal, which receiveth the shadows of things to be seen, make all things appear of the some colour, which remains in the humour that overspreads our sight, as if it be melancholic, every thing seemeth black; if it be phlegmatic, white; etc. 
Philotimo troubled with a suffusion.  Then think not, Philotimo, but you shallbe deceived, if you behold the manners of women through the cloud of their beauty, the glass of their bravery, or the gross humours of fancy that blear your eyes. If you do but imagine that every fatre face hath fair conditions; because that 
Gratior est pulchro veniens è corpore virtus,   
Virtue shines brightest in a gallant face, 
Somnium Vigilantis.  you bewray that Eclipse in your waning judgement, 
Cureus de Sens. lib. 1. cap. 36.  which Philosophers have called The waking man's dream; for that, many times doth happen thus: Men thinking very earnestly of their friends, or any thing else that they have seen, or read, when they are drowned in the bottom of this conceit, the mind plodding continually on the same, this vehement combat of imagination seareth the spirits, which give such a push unto common sense, 
lovers dreams.  that it flows too the eye, and planteth the Idol of the thing imagined before our sight. Thus are Melancholic lovers in the midst of their dumps deceived with the shadow of their Ladies, persuading themselves for the time, that they view the party, whom fancy enforced them but too dream on. Thus Geometers deeply considering of their proportions, believe sometimes that they see them lively drawn out in the air. And thus you coining to yourself a Phoenix of Arabia, that is, virtue at no time separate from beauty, suddenly judge that you see it in Polyphile. You allege for your purpose, that the qualities of the mind, agreed with the constitution of the body, which being thus construed that where choler aboundeth, we are testy; where melancholy, mad and furious; or that tender complexions, are very melch hearted; I will not deny it: but too say that where there is never a wemme in the cloth, there can be no deformity in the wearer; where the body hath no spot, the mind is utterly void of blur, I mayt not allow it. Therefore throw down the love of Socrates, whose hests are no laws, whose words are no Oracles, whose authority is no privilege for your folly. Too believe whatsoever Philosophers hold, or snatch it up for a Square too fashion our life, is too credit every thing, to examine nothing, nor at any time to judge uprightly; but as bruit beasts. too follow the heard, not whither our duty wills us to go, but whither soever the foremost leads.  
Phialo then turning himself too Polyphile, desired her to give him leave as freely too answer her, as he had already replied too Philotimo: For (said he) I am not of Herodotus mind, that thinketh women to lay aside honesty, when they put of their Garments, and though you may seem in the eyes of chaste beholders, both too cast away the attire of a sober matron, and too put on the shape, of a monstrous Epicure; yet I hope too touch you so near before I leave you, that you shall be enforced to strike Sail to the truth. All your defence consisteth in the inclination of our nature, which you say hath framed every thing for our delight, and taught us herself like a cunning Schoolemaistresse, to fetch our full swinge, in wanton desires. You judge us condemned by her, too taste every dish & feed upon that that likes us best. But do not you know that a great River cut into many Creeks, is made shallow? that love dispersed into many Streams, runs low? think not that little Infants as soon as they are shot into the world, seek after pleasure, when they cry for a teat; but crane food, as instructed by nature too nourish themselves.  
You abuse the word Pleasure very much, when taking it sometime in one Sense, sometime in an other. Now fleeting above, then diving to the bottom, and with the Hedgehog, never abiding that quarter, where the wind blows, you are able too draw the simple awry, and make them angle for butterflies in a dry ditch. We must not fight loosely as the wild Scythians, which sail out on the sudden with terrible shouts; brandish their Darts, with invincible courage; and daring not tarry the chiefest brunt, presently squatte themselves in their bogs. It shallbe my practice in this quarrel too define the same pleasure which you maintain, that finding by this, where the field is pitchte, I may bring my force to your main battle. 
Definition of Pleasure.  Pleasure is a sweet tickling of Sense, with a present joy. Being a tickling of the sense, you may see that to have no disquitnesse, cannot be pleasure: For stocks & stones feel no trouble at all, yet I think you will not say that they live in pleasure. To be cured of anguish cannot be this, because it is no other wise than a delivery from pain. In that it is bred of a presentioy, it neither consisteth in remembrance of pleasures past, because they are fled; & cannot be felt: nor in hope of any such like to come, because we taste them not yet, & they may be prevented. What pleasure can you found, if being in Russia in the middle of winter with a needle in your hand never a thread about you, you remember straight you had clotheses on your back, and were warm enough in Venice, in the middle of Summer? What availeth it, if thirsting now, you call to your mind that you drunk yesterday? or presently ready too famish for hunger, you persuade yourself there will be corn in Harvest? Again if pleasure be the tickling of sense with a present joy, what delight had Marius in the Surgeon's knife? Scevola in torments of the fire? Curtius' in the bottom of the Gulf? or Iphigenia in the Butcher's Axe? Forsooth sir, say you, I meant, that for their friends sakes, they conceived a pleasure in their minds; alas then, say I, you must not dream of Chalk when you speak of Cheese. That which other enjoy belongs not toe us, and when we are dead, the praise that is given us, never comes too our ears, except you assure yourself. that with Seleus our souls shall forsake us a while in a Trance, and after they have compassed heaven, too learn some news, be blown into our bodies again through a Squirt. But you trifle in this, let us shake up, our kennel a little better.  
Wisdom, justice, all virtues, all Arts, all that we do in this life, levels, say you, at nothing but pleasure. Can you make such a hotchpotche of vice and virtue, that each with the other shall both agreed? that contraries shall nestle together in one body, one part, at one instant? The pleasure that is got by virtue is an honest delight of the mind, rejoicing in nothing but that which is good: 
Virtue aimeth not at pleasure.  yet is it not that which virtue see. keeths, for the countryeman soweth his Grain too reap the fruit, though he gather the flower, that grows up with it: And we exercise virtue not for pleasures sake, but to do good; refusing not the pleasures that spring up with it, as flowers with corn, and follow it continually as a shadow the body: neither do they please us because they delight, but delight because they please. Your lovers whensoever you frown, descend into hell; when you smile, are carried with wings in too heaven; yet neither of them both are out of Venice, Poets said jupiter to have two barrels in heaven, the one of weal, the other of woe: which he disperseth abroad at his pleasure: If your beauty have drawn jupiter from heaven in a shower of rain, compelling him by love too resign his office unto you, that opening the barrels of bliss and bale, you might govern the lives of men as you list, torment and relieve, scourge and release, set up and throw down whomsoever you will, 
O Goddess worthy of a God, & juno of thy jove.   
These are the frantic inventions of Heathen writers, with if they be wrought, will not hold the hammering. You must not think your sweet face to make you perfect, nor believe whatsoever your suitors speak. Because that they say, they burn, will you think their bodies are set on fire? if they dream of your hue, that it is heavenly, is there no ho, but you will shine in your brightness among the stars? These are Hyperbolees to flatter you, with they commonly speak in the midst of their passion, when their wits are a woolgathering. All our actions by your opinion are directed to pleasure. Tell me gentlewoman what you think of other nations. The Parthians are taught from their youth to shoot & too dart, the Helvetians too follow the march of the drum, the Germans to ride & toss a great steed, the Lacedæmonians to receive their skin full of stripes: is this for pleasure? I do not remember that ever I delighted to be horsed, over the form when myself was a boy; if you find any such pleasure in stripes, I would you were married to sun man of Thracia where by the custom of the country they beaten their wives too this day. What can be so fond as to seek that in this life with we aught to shun? To be overruled by that which becomes us to master? to be servants to pleasure that should be our slave? too make that our bliss, which Cooks, which Physicians, which women may give, and which fortune at witch may take away? Aristippus was jump of your opinion, seeking only sweet meat for his belly, & a Saint for his bed: wherein if we follow the print of his feet, 
No differeuce between man and beast.  I find that we differ not from savage beasts. They know each other as well as we, they understand themselves likewise as well as we, they seem too talk, they seem too laugh, when pricking up their ears, lowing, neighing and fawning they express their joy; they seek to their sex for some increase, which is a token of mutual love, they follow that which they know will profit them, they fly from the thing that they find to hurt them; whereby they do show some sparks of reason, making a difference between good and evil. So subtle are they, that we find them many times too crafty for us; so wise that they gather in Summer, too serve them in Winter; so cunning, that the Spider in her web, the bird in her nest, may seem too give us instruction of building; so civil, so obedient, that we are no more diligent to serve one prince, than every heard is ready too follow one leader, every swarm of bees, to honour one king. Elephants are reported to be so courteous, that they bring strayed passengers into their way; so witty, that they understand the speech of those people with whom they live; so skilful, in the moving of the heavenly bodies, that by bathing themselves in running waters, they bewray the approach of the new Moon; so merciful, that one of them in Rome catching a boy that had pricked his nose with abodkin, took him up presently with his snowee, shaken him aloft to put him fear & laid him down softly again with out hurt; 
Dion.  last of all, they seem so attached with knowledge of God, that eighteen of them being ●●ine at a triumph in the Theatre of Rome, the rest, by running about the place with a pitiful roar, mournfully tossed their snouts up too Heaven, as though they accused the cruelty of man, or cried for revenge of their fellows blood.  
By what Cognisance then shall we be known from beasts? 
〈…〉 est, quisque.  Plato did not think a man to be a reasonable creature, consisting of a soul and a body, but a reasonable soul, using the body as his bondslave. Ask Aristippus why we are borne? he will say for pleasure; Demand Anaxagoras, his answer shallbe, that we might look upon heaven; the one follows that, which is common to us with bruit beasts; the other robbeth blinde-men of their commodity, because they are not able to see the stars. 
The difference between man and beast.  Therefore taking the opinion of Plato, That every man's self is but his soul, let us acknowledge from whence we came, that is, from God, the giver of life; And saith we have received this benefit at his hands, it is our duty to show ourselves thankful by serving him. He hath made us, he hath redeemed us, he, hath sanctified us to his own self, whatsoever we are, we are the work of his hands, the image of himself, we are altogether his, and not our own. This is the mark we must bear in our foreheads, to be known from blockish and brute creatures: they seek for nothing but that with is earthly, we must desire the thing that is heavenly; they are sensible bodies, we reasonable souls; they serve their bellies; we our God. O Poliphile, 
women's pride.  where is the life which you require? what is become of Sabina, which never dreaming of this, but drowned in wantonness usually bathed herself in the milk of five hundred she Asses, to preserve her beauty? How is Galeriaes' sight dazzled with the pomp of this world, which scorned the golden palace of Nero, as not curious enough, too shroud her carcase? Beware you seek not so much to prank up yourself, that you forget God. Cleopatra was thought of some writers not to be slain with venomous snakes, but with the same bodkin that curled her hear Bridle the wantonness of your speech, 
Xiphilinus. women's behaniour.  & the overlashing of youthful days. Posthumia was accused of lewdness, because she was seen but to be merry in company, and although she had very well cleared herself, Minutius returned her home with this clause, that her tongue should never be worse than her thought, her gesture no wantonner than her life. The women of Chalcedon never showed unto strangers any more than one cheek; the wife of Hieron was acquainted with no bodies breath, but her husbands; the women of Egypt did wear no shoes, because they should never be gadders abroad; the Damsels of Beotia that day they were married, had the axle-tree of their coaches burnt at their doors, that wanting the mean to carry them out, they might learn by the same too abide at home. Lysander refused the rich Garments that were sent out of Sicily to his daughters, because he feared such a present would be a greater spot to their minds, than an ornament to their bodies, disfigure them sooner than become them.  
Behold the sweet cups that have made you drunk, are kept from their lips that intent to be modest. You use your Glass to turn up your locks, that you might please the gazer's eye; other stand tooting in them to this end, that if they be fair, they blemish no jot of the same with vice; if they be foul, they amend it with virtue. You, like the moon, shine brightest of all, when the Sun is away; they glister most in their husband's presence; you are a glass for every Gallant, smiling with them, mourning with them, frowning with them, and what cheer soever you perceive in their face, representing the same in your hollow looks; they only rejoice and weep with them, with whom they are grown into one i'll she, you are a shadow to every lover, moving with them, from place too place, and cleaving to no particular body; they like true geometrical lines, are never pulled from their bodies but by death, never seen abroad without their stay, never found in the streets without their husbands. You, make your belly, your God; your lust, your heaven; your pleasure, your bliss; and hunt greedily for such delights, as though they be drawn with a twine thread, cannot be kept with a Cable rope, for they hover like feathers in the wind, & are blown away like chaff with every blast. So dangerous a sea is our delight, that in every calm we fear a storm, in every storm, we are swallowed quick; in every case, we look for pain, in every pain, we pine to death, in every peace, we doubt a broil, in every broil we go to the pot. Philip winning the garland at the games of Olimpia, when tiding was brought him too increase his joy, that the same day Parmenio his Captain had foiled his enemies, & his Queen was delivered of a young prince, cast up his hands unto heaven, desiring God to dash those pleasures but with some little mishap. How vain was the bliss of Scabius Apicius, which after his long and delicate fare, casting an account of his substance, to see how much he had spent on his belly, finding, no more than two hundred and fifty thousand groats left, flew himslfe that he might not die for hunger? What pleasure had Vitellius in all his banquets, when casting up his gorge assoon as he had eaten; he was said too be sustained with the passage of his meats? You esteem this life for a wonderful pleasure & a great felicity, yet Caracalla shaving his beard, glutted at his board with the dainties of Antioch, cried out that he took very great pains, suffered the assault of many perils, & rebuked the Senators for their idleness.  
Is it not against nature too lay such weight on her neck, that she sink under the burden? to altar her course, contrary to kind? to wish for roses in Winter? snowwater in Summer? artificial gardens on the top of our houses? To seek a new hunger when we are satisfied? to provoke thirst again when we have drsik? to devise such cookery of ourselves as shall make us to feed at all seasons? to quaff every moment? too snort at high Noon? to banquet at midnight? Nature in every Treasure else showeth herself too be her own bulwark: & because that near is our Coat, nearer our skin, we love our friends well, but ourselves better; every thing is committed too the custody of itself. Mark how the seed doth tender itself, when it creepeth first out of the ground in a soft blade, how it afterwards stiffeneth to a stalk, how it hardeneth the ear; how it locketh up every grain in his husk, and sendeth out prickles to keep of small birds from devouring the same. When the foal is cast, it never leaves sprawling till it arise to shifted for itself. Children are no sooner on tiptoe, but they reach to the wall to stay themselves up for breaking their face, if they trust to their feet before their time. Shall we seek our own safety when we are green, and surfeit with pleasures when we are grey? can we creep too a stay too lift ourselves up, and not lean to the same when we are aloft? Do we cherish ourselves when we are grass, and yield too our enemies when we are corn? When nature is served we suck no longer, whilst we are young; and shall we chocke ourselves with variety of dishes when we are old? Leave the Epicure at his table, let it be furnished with all manner of Cates, Let  fill him the Cup, let Beauty sand out her daughters to bear him company, let Apollo tickle his ears with the Lute, let the Muses be charged to sound in the service, and the Graces themselves to wait on his trencher, let him hear nothing, but too delight him; touch nothing, but too please him; see nothing, but to ravish him; Is this the happiness that you commend? are none but the Birds of this feather in bliss? how wretched are we then, that never came near it? They pamper themselves with a little ease, we accustom our bodies to labour and toil; they cannot abide the sting of a flea, we bear of the stripes of our enemies club; they, like to fat Oxen, are soonest field, we graze without hurt on the bleakest cliffs; To be short, Polyphile, Harpies shall sweep the meat from their trenchers, Heaven shall thunder out plagues against them, death shall finish their joys in anguish, when nothing shall happen too us unlooked for. If you place not your pleasure in your dishes, nor in your Music, nor in your waiters, nor in the beholding of your guests, for 
What booteth it to gaze, 
ovid.  and not enjoy?   
But to have the use of that that your eye likes & your heart loves, I grant you may joy in the company of men, but I judge they have little delight in you. In some countries the bride is crowned by the Macrons with a garland of prickles, & so delivered unto her husband, that he might know he hath tied himself to a thorny pleasure. Ulysses wept for the death of his dog, but shed never a tear for his wives sorrow. 
Women better lost then found.  Domitius buried three wives with a dry handkerchief. Sophocles being asked what stomach he had to a fair woman, said, none at all, for he was delivered out of such prisons, and had shaken those fetters of from his heels. Had there been any great felicity in your acquaintance, I doubt not, but you should have ●in more esteemed. Think not, signiora, that I speak this too impair the love that every man aught too bear too his wife, but too give you too understand, that the way to Heaven is not strewed with rushes, nor the end of toil in lovers joys, nor the cradle of ease in Lady's laps. Myself have always been so affected to pleasure, that I have judged the dances of Venus' school, to be as dangerous as the mermaids songs, which draw us from the coast we are bound to seek, which make us forget from whence we came; that forsaking our country, our Parents, our friends, our acquaintance, haling into a wrong road, casting our Ankees before we sound, selling our commodities, our ships, ourselves for a drop of honey, which at the first taste, is changed to poison, we might cleave to the rocks and be turned to stones; Listen to vanity, and be laden with vice; stick fast in sin and be swallowed in death, the fittest reward of such a life.  
It is not my meaning too shrive you gentlewoman, but as a Philosopher to exhort you if you have not fallen, to stand fast; if you be down, to recover your footing as soon as you may, & look to your steps that you fall no more. The Mariner always so guides the helm that he keepeth the sail in the winds nose; the Player so beateth his part too himself at home, that he gives it right gesture when he comes to the scaffold; the painter so tempers his colours to shadow his work, & behaveth himself with such regard, that keeping a quick eye to his pattern, a steady hand to his frame, he might finish his task with greater praise. Our life is a ship, saved at sea and lost at shore; a common play, brought to the stage as a gazing stock, every man sees our smallest faults; A curious picture hard to draw, and quickly spoiled with quivering joints. Wherefore it is necessary for us to mark well where the wind blows, that we be not sunk; to have a care too discharge our parts, that we not shamed; to be so wary & circumspect in our doings, that we mar not all that we take in hand. Weak brains are not too be charged with made Wines; nor feeble minds, with enchanted delights; they overthrow us too our discredit, these bewitch us to our destruction.  
We aught not to stand upon slippery banks, when our steps are uncertain in dry ground. So tickle is all the stay we have here, that we cannot move without reeling, nor gather up our feet without falling. Take heed, signoria, how you stand, 
Two paths.  and whether you walk. There are but two paths laid open before us, the one smooth and broad, overspread with the beauty of many flowers, watered with the dew of sundry springs; sounding delight with variety of birds glimmering with the bright beams of the sun; and this is pleasure, which we aught not too follow for ambling to the Devil: the other, narrow and craggy, hard and loathsome, dark and terrible, and this is trouble, whom we should not fear, because he drives us too heaven on a trotting horse.  
Demetrius' contrary to your opinion, thought none in the world so miserable as those, that had never fasted of any 〈◊〉 A good father never suffereth his son to be idle, but exerciseth his body in labour, his mind in 〈…〉 layeth the greatest weight, upon those wits, that he liketh best, because he is sure they are able too bear it. God is a father and a Schoolmaster unto us, if he have not traveled your body, too make you sweat; nor read you long Lectures, to busy your wits; It is a plain case, and a strong argument, that he neither loves you as a Father, nor likes you as a Master; nor accounts you his child, nor makes you his Scholar. 
Non est molle virtutis documentum:  
Seneca.  Virtue can sleep without a pillow. Scaevola sought for his joy by fire, Fabritius by poverty, Rutilius by exile, Regulus by torments, Socrates by poison, Cato by death. They which inhabit the cold Countries, find delight in the frozen Snow, pursue the wild beasts for food in the Mountains, and chalk up their lodging in that place, where night compels them. They regard no poverty: for they live no barer than they were borne; they force no sorrow, for if it be long, custom in them hath made it light; if it he short, they soon forget it; they fly no death, for either in that they end their toil, or enter into a better life; they despise Fortune, for she cannot rob them that have nought too lose, and no weapon she hath, can wound the mind. If you think these people in misery, because they rouse not their bodies in Beds of Down; they surfeit not with our daintyes of Italy, but with Hippolytus follow Diana's chase, you are out of your wits.  
Ovid in the person of Phoebus to Phaeton appointeth away for us to trace before we can bring ourselves to rest, in which I read of no pleasure at all.  
The first is steep, which scarce with freshest 〈◊〉  
My steeds do climb: the middle stands aloft,  
From whence when I both seats and land behold,  
I shake and tremble in my troubled breast.  
The last doth fall, and needs a straighter bit,  
And such as in my wa●rie couch beneath  
Lost bedlong down I come, dame Thetis dreedes.  
Such is the path that we are willed to tread, so bolt upright, that the hottest youth findeth his hands full enough too scale it, the top so high when we are up, that we shiver to see what danger we have passed, and our heads are giddy with looking down. The last so deep, that if we slip, we break our necks, and never leave rolling till we drop in to the grave. In youth we had need of props, because we mount; in middle age, when we are aloft our pleasure is dashed with a great fear▪ perceiving so many dangers behind us, which we have escaped; so many before us, which are to come; In grey hears, we begin to drop, and every foot we stir is a steep too death. Beside the steep rise, tickle height, perilous downfall of our passage, there are many monsters in our way.  
Thy feet shall tread upon the horned Bul.  
The tropics and the ghostly lions head.  
Thus find we not in any part of our life, one spare place too wring in a little pleasure. How happy is the life of them that overcome? The best Sailor, is known in sorest storms; the bravest Soldier, in greatest peril; the purest Gold, in hottest fire; the blessedst people, in deepest trouble. The house is not built, till the Timber be hewed, nor happiness won, till we be hacked.  
Flatter not yourself in the joys of this world, which are Fancies hooks, to catch fools. Ulysses bound himself too the mast, that he might sail beyond them, you must gird up your loins, or wrestle till you sweat, before you can carry the prize away. Rich Cobblers, have black Thumbs; good Carpenters, hard hands; Thrifty Plasterers, dirty clotheses; profound Students, pale faces; fat Scholars, thin cheeks. Difficilia quae pulchra, we obtain no true pleasures without pain. They that will have the Nut, must break the shell; that will eat the Apple, must climb the tree; that will come too the Mine, must dig the Earth; that will travel the Sea, must pass the sand; that will conquer their foes, must fight the field; that will get the goal, must run the race; that will wear a Crown, must win the same. The seed of the Lord and the Corn of his Harvest, suffereth all weathers in open field, and when it is grown too perfect ripeness, it is cut with the Sith, beaten with the Flail, tostt with the Fan, bruised with the Stone, parched with the heat of a Fiery Oven. thousands are the pikes that must be passed, before we can enter the gates of rest. Isaac was dearly beloved of GOD yet many times vexed, driven out of Chanaan with hunger, troubled with his neighbours, bard of his water, grieved with the discord of his sons, and the violence offered unto his wife.  
The children of GOD hung up their haps on the Willow trees, sat down and wept at the waters of Babylon. Many are the examples that I might allege out of the Scripture, too show you that GOD bringeth none unto him by pleasure, but whips them with sorrow till their hearts groan, that when they have rensed their couch with tears, the smoke of their sighs might arise up like Frankincense into his nostthriles.  
Consider, Signiora, that you were not made suddenly by the running attil● of little Moats in the air, but fashioned out with the hands of God. By which you may know as I have told you already, that you are not your own, but his that framed you; if you be not your own, deny yourself; if you be Gods, fly unto him; cast of the wanton desires of this life, seek for no pleasure in these days, if you wish to avoid torment in the world too come. Lazy people pine to death; reward is theirs that labour hard: If you strive with this body and master sin; encounter the Devil and win the field; charge your foe stoutly, and hold up your sword to the later gasp; you shall find such grace, such mercy, such pleasure, such joy, as neither eye hath seen, nor ear hath heard, nor flesh hath felt, nor thought conceived, nor Phialoes' tongue is able too rehearse.  
When Phialo had thus ended his talk, and beheld Polyphile to see how his Medicine began too work, Philotimo told him that Aesop maketh the Lion too chase the Heart, but the Heart being swifter of foot quickly got out of the Lion's sight, and lodged himself in the thickest brakes: the Lion following still met with a shepherd; of whom he demanded whether he had seen the Heart or not; the poor shepherd said no, and pointed too the thicket where the heart lay. Even so did he like a timorous swain, for fear of jeraldi whom he knew too be pleasures deadly foe, deny the delight he hath seen, with his tongue and glaunsing deceitfully too Polyphile, look upon Venus with his heart. Wherein he showed himself a cunning sculler that rows his Boat forward, though he have turned his face too the stern; And though he spoke his pleasure against pleasure, withdrawing his head from Gentlewoman's laps, yet he followed them backwards, as the Bargemen in England, that row up too London, with their faces to Gravesende.  
Trust me, said jeraldi, I have seen children which beholding meat at the Table, and durst not crave it for fear of the Rod, have told their fathers, they would eat none of that; which was but a crafty kind of begging And it may be, that Phialo crieth out against women, because he loves them, but I do nor believe it. There is no cause why he should double before me, though I be severe, I am no Lion; neither deo I pursue wild wantoness too death, but too amendment; Notwithstanding where the root is rotten, the Stock can never be new graffed; It is a hard matter too make an old Dog receive the collar, or too bryve that corruption out of the flesh, which is bred in the bone: Polyphile hath run so long untied, that I fear liberty hath eaten a hole in her heart, and her stomach will not suffer her now too bend. Those qualities are seldom lost, which are got by long practice, and grown to a habit.  
You are too prejudicial sir, said Polyphile, where the husbandman seeth many weeds, he taketh the Soil too be fruitful, if it be tilled: wheresoever you see any vices grow, there is ground for virtue, if it be laboured. Forspeake me not I pray you, I am not so bad as you report, though I be worse than I would I were, if after this tillage, you find me barren, or return too my vomit, then say, that the root of grace is clean decayed, and virtue in me will never bud. God hath appointed Mary a time too repent, and Polyphile to forsake her wicked ways. Had I been sooner dieted, I had been sooner reclaimed; sooner called, I had sooner come. I feel such a combat in myself, such a terror of the just judgement of GOD, and such a comfort again if I run to him, that I am constrained hear too stay myself, and resort no more too the Epicures Table, lest surfeiting sooner than I 〈…〉 I cast up my meat the way that it came and lick up my gall with a loathing stomach. Therefore I thank you signor jeraldi for your cost, which provided all this cheer for my sake; you sit Philotimo for your company, whose looks were the fountain of all this talk; and you good Phialo whose Philosophy hath pulled me out of the jaws of death. As long as I live I acknowledge myself to be your scholar, and hold me your debtor, which if you remain any time in Venice you shall perceive: Not more Polyphile, that name I abhor, Theophile now newly christened by thee.  
jeraldi rejoiced too hear these words, and wished a Gospel on that mouth, wherewith they arose: and jeraldi taking Philotimo aside, requested him earnestly to procure some friendship for Phialo in the Court, that he might be restored to Sienna again. Philotimo ready enough to do that without entreaty, desired jeraldi to harbour Phialo, till be heard farther news: for the next day he intended to return towards Ferara, & promised that it should not be long ere he wrote ehym an answer. jeraldi soon granted soosmall a Boon: & whilst he discovered to Phialo their intent, Philotimo stepped too Theophile too take his leave, in whose eyes he perceived the matter stand too see good company break so soon.  
Stephan Gosson.  Coelotegitur, qui non habet urnam.  

¶ An Apology of the School of Abuse, against Poets, Pipers, Players, and their Excusers.  Seneca. Vitia nostra, quia amamus, defendimus; & malumus excusare, quàm excutere. 
A Captain that served Cyrus, being one day desirous to show his Prince sport in training his men, divided them all into two equal parts, giving bucklers and wasters to the one, appointing nothing but clods of hard earth to the other; When they were separated far a sunder, and a sign given to them both to fight, the dirty Champions that stood a loof, paulted the buckler bearers on the shins, and the head, receiving no bur● again for the time, because they kept them out of the others reach: But when the battle began to join, their turfs were too brittle toward a blow, the sorest stripes lighted on their own shoulders. Such is the skitmishe of our players, who perceiving the truth to stand on my side as an armour of proof; and finding themselves unappointed for the field, keep a far off, biting me in corners, casting out libels, which are but clay, and rattle on mine armour, or tip me on the shins, without farther hurt. But if they take up my glove, and enter the list; set down their opinion, and subscribe their names; I will gather in to them as fast as I can, and teach them to know the weight of my club. I understand they are all in a fustian fume, they run to & fro, with a nettle in their noses, and lash out their heels as they had caught the brims, which is a plain token, that the gall is rubbed, the canker touched. They have eaten bulbief, and threatened highly, too put water in my woortes, whensoever they catch me; I hope it is but a copy of their countenance, Ad di●m fortasse minitantur, Shrewd kine shall have short horns: If they be chafed, they may be walk, if they be rough, they may be calmed; if they be hot, they may be cooled; I am not so childish to take every bush for a monster; every shadow for a bug; every man for a devil, that danceth in his coat. The wind blustereth about the hills, yet can not remove them from their place; The Sea beats upon the rocks, yet every billow tugs in vain; With thick shot the air is darkened, yet never a bullet sticks in the Sun. They may wrestle with me and roar, and rail, yet truth is steady & cannot be stirred, hard, and cannot be brook with wash; high, and clear, and cannot be hurt. If I give them a Pill to purge their humour, they never leave belching till it be up, wherein you may perceive what unruly patientes I deal withal, how unwilling they are to receive remedy, when their disease hath gotten the upper hand, how ill good cookery agrees with their queasy stomachs, and how they had rather suffer destruction to overtake them, then seek any mean to save their souls. It is the property of honey though it be sweet, to torment those parts of the body that are infected, & such as are troubled with the Kings evil, never taste it, but they judge it to be gall. Therefore I wish them all that feel me sharp, to consider whether it be to those that are sound, or to such as I find do nourish filth. My School of Abuse, hath met with some enemies, because it correcteth unthristy Scholars; Demosthenes orations smelled of sampe oil, because his candle burned brightest, when thieves were busiest. They that are grieved, are Poets, Pipers, and Players: the first think that I banish Poetry, wherein they dream; the second judge, that I condemn Music, wherein they dote; the last proclaim, that I forbidden recreation to man, wherein you may see, they are stark blind. He that readeth with advise the book which I wrote, shall perceive that I touch but the abuses of all these. When we accuse the Physician for kill his patient, we find no fault with the Art itself, but with him that hath abused the same. Therefore let me hold the same proposition still, which I set down before, & drew out of Tully, that ancient poets are the fathers of lies, Pipes of vanity, and Schools of Abuses. jupiter which was but a mortal man and almost a paticide, that for greediness of the crown, drove his own father Saturn, out of his kingdom, though he were a cruel tyrant, an unnatural child, an usurping Prince, an abominable lecher, as wicked a wretch as ever lived, by Poets is made the king of gods. Venus' a notorious strumpet, that lay with Mars, with Mercury, with jupiter, with Anchises, with Butes, with Adonis, that taught the women in Cyprus to set up a Stews, too hire out themselves as hackneys, for gain, and that made herself as common as a barbers chair by Poets is placed for a goddess in heaven. All these whom the poets have called gods and goddesses, for the most part, were bastards begotten in adultery, or very lewd livers, which had no sooner defiled their beds, but they were snatchte up to the skies and made stars, in so much that juno crieth out in Seneca, Tellus colenda est, pellices coelum tenent; Let's dwell in earth, for heaven is full of whores. what stuff is this? wantoness in heaven? & a double divinity of he gods, & she gods? If it be so, I hope they will grant me, that in that place nothing aught to be vain; if nothing be vain, they must live together by couples like man and wife, or hold the public weal of Plato, and make every thing common. If they live together in lawful marriage, give them houses to themselves for lawful increase, that all which they do be not seen in the market; if they have houses, let them have lands, it is no reason they should be poorer than we, & if they have land, either let it be fruitful of itself, or give them whips in their hands, and send them like swains to plough and ●arte. Because they are gods, they never die; because they are married, they daily multiplte, for none can be so fruitful as they, thus never dying, and ever increasing, some of them in time shall be driven to devil in the air, some in the water, some in the earth, some in hell when house room is scant, for heaven will not hold so great a company. If they be fruitful, what is the reason that jupiter getteth no more children▪ doth ●ee wax old, or is juno barren 〈…〉 afeard to glean any longer of other 〈◊〉 corn, lest he be rob of his own harvest? Considereth he now 〈◊〉 good turn requireth another? that he which strikes with the sword, shallbe beaten with the scabbard? If they make all common, what are they better than brute beasts? So gross are the errors, so great the abuses, so horrible the blasphemies we find in poets, that we may rather judge them monsters of nature, than men of learning. Whilst they make Cupid trumphe in heaven, and all the gods to match bound like ●●●serable captives, before his chariot, they bely God, and be witch the reader with bawdy charms.  
Whilst they enclose the power of their Gods in what compass they please, giving Heaven to jupiter, Hell too 〈◊〉, the Sea too Neptune, they forgetter earth, and leave it too the rule of none 〈◊〉 al. Whilst they make many gods, they overthrow every God. For if their gods be of equal power, no one of them can do any thing without his fellow, and so none of them all may be called a god, because God is perfect and almighty. Being perfect, he can neither be increased nor diminished; being almighty, he hath no need of the help of other. What a confusion have Poets brought, when thinking little, that whatsoever is divided may be destroyed, they set all the gods together by the ears, some fighting for Troy, some for the Greeks, some for Aenaeas, & some for Turnus? Saturn whom they affirmed to be god of time, was a varlet that gelded his own Father, afterward thrust out of his seat by his son jupiter, he was constrained to save himself by flight, and a great while lived obseurely in Italy. Apollo was a buggerer, and Schoolmaster of perjury; Mars a murderer, Mercury a thief, Castor & Pollux, whom they report to be twins grown in one body, when they were ravishers of other men's wives, never met within one pair of sheets. Flora a courtesan that got infinite sums of money by sin, and gave all to the Romans when she died, by Poets is honoured for a goddess of flowers. Thus making gods of them that were brute beasts, in the likeness of men, divine goddesses of common harlots; they rob God of his honour, diminish his authority, weaken his might, & turn his seat to a stews. By writing of untruths they are open liars, but if they do feign these frantic cenceates to resemble some what else that they imagine, by speaking of one thing and thinking another, they are dissemblers: It is not enough for their friends to say, 
Lascina est nobis pagina, urta proba,  
Our verse is wanton, but our life is good:  Or, juravi lingua, mentem iniuratam gero. My tongue hath sworn, my heart is free. For player's action, doth answer to their parts; and Poets discourses to their manners: yet are many of their Scholars so enchanted, that like the superstitious and foolish Egyptians, they had rather loose their lives, than the Idols of their birds, their beasts, their Ibis, their Adders, their Dogs, their Cats, their Serpents, their Crocodiles.  
pipers are very sore displeased because I allow not their new 〈◊〉, and show them how far their instruments differ from those that were used in old times; they say, their music is perfecter now than it was before, but who shallbe judge? Let Ismenias the grand fiddler that was taken prisoner by the Scythians in a battle, utter all his cunning when Antaeas the king is at supper, he will laugh him to scorn, and swear that his Horse hath brayed sweeter. When Philippe of Macedon took upon him to realon with a new Msition of his new chords, and was not able to go thorough stitch, because they have ever a crotchet above commons, & add where they list, when they see their time, God forbid, quoth the piper, that your majesty should be so miserable, as to know these fantastical toys any better, their effeminate stops are not worth a straw. Dionysius made such account of their cunning, when they judged it to be at the best that hearing the notablest Harper which was in those days, he promised him a talon for his labour, next day when he came to crave his reward; Dionysius told him that he had it already: For, said he, thou didst but tickle mine ears with an empty sound, and I did the like again to thee, promising that which I mean not to give, delighting thee as much with hope of my coin, as myself was pleased with the sound of thy instrument. Because I would ha●e Dionysius followed, let them not think 〈◊〉 hor●e Music: if they put on their spectacles, or take their eyes in their hands, & look better in the School of abuse, they shall find that with Plutarch I accuse them for bringing their running into theatres: that I say, they have wilfully left or with ignorance lost, those warlike ●unes which were used in ancient times, to stir up in us a manly motion, and found out new descant with the dancers of Sybaris, to rock us a ●eepe in all ungodliness. If they had any wit, any learning, or experience, they might know that Excellens sensibtle laedit sensum, their dainty censortes will make us wantens. Aristonicus the Musician, for his memory with all posterities, had a brazen I doll erected to him by Alexander, and was wonderfully honoured for his art. This was not done for ●●unding Les guamto spagntola, or inventing sweet measures, or coining new dances, but for kindling his soldiers courage, and heartening them all to take armour. Such a Musician was Antigenides, whom Alexander had no sooner heard, but he startled, as though he had been then in battle, & bent his siste at all them that were in presence: which of our Musicians that are so perfect, is able with his instrument to make a fresh water soldier run to his weapons, or enforce the Dolphin in the Sea to save his life, if he suffer wrack? Which of all their instruments that are so absolute, can perform that which other have done before? If ancient Musicians have gone beyond us, where is our cunning? If their instruments have passed ours, where is the perfectness that our Pipers imagine? why, say they, you play with antiquities, we build upon scripture: jubal was father of their harp, but how many strings he put to it, or what songs he played they can not tell me. David did play on the Lute, and the Harp, and used instruments of many strings, but to prove these instruments were better, than such as had been practised many hundred years before he was borne, Hic labour hoc opus est, there goeth the Hare away. And though I be of plutarchs opinion, that when we have done or said all that we can, the oldest fashion is ever best; that new cuts are the patterns of running heads; strange blocks, the very badges of fond conceits; yet do I not forbid our new found instruments, so that we handle them as David did, to praise God; nor bring them any more into public theatres, to please wantoness. London is so full of unprofitable Pipers and Fiddlers, that a man can no sener enter a tavern, but two or three cast of them hung at his heels, to give him a dance before he depart; therefore let men of gravity examine the case, & judge uprightly, whether the sufferance of such idle beggars be not a grievous abuse in a common wealth.  
For my part though I have said more than they will like off; yet set down less, than they deserve) I mean not too trouble my wits about them: it shall be enough for me which have no authority to give them a plaster, to lance the sore friendly & let it run, that in process of time, it may heal of itself.  
Plays are so tolerable, that Lactantius condemneth them flatly, without any manner of exception, thinking them, the better they are penned, or cunninglier handled, the more to be fled; because that by their pleasant action of body, & sweet numbers flowing in verse, we are most enchanted. And Tully a Heathen, crying out against Poetry, for placing bawdy Cupid among the gods, uttreth these words in the end: De comoedia loquor, quae si haec flagitia non probaremus, nulla esset omninò; I speak of plays, which if ourselves did not love this filthiness, should never be suffered. If players take a little more counsel of their pillow, they shall find themselves to be the worst, and the daungerousest people in the world, A thief is a shrewd member in a common wealth, he empties our bags by force, these ransack our purses by permission; he spoileth us secretly, these rifle us openly; he gets the upperhand by blows, these by merry jests; he sucks our blood, these our manners; he wounds our body, these our soul; O God, O men, O heaven, O earth, O times, O manners, O miserable days! he suffereth for his offence, these stroute without punishment under our noses; & like unto a consuming fire, are nourished still with our decay. Lacon thought it impossible for him to be good, that was not bitter to the wicked, then how shall we be persuaded of Players, which are most pleasant to abominable livers? Diogenes said, that it was better to be a man of Maegaraes' Ram, than his sun, because he provideth a shepherd to look to his fold; but seeketh no instructor to teach his child; he hath a care that his sheep be well tended and washed, but never regardeth his sons discipline; he forbiddeth the one too run in danger of the wolf, but keeps not the other from the devils claws; and if Diogenes were now alive, to see the abuses that grow by plays, I believe he would wish rather to be a Londoners bound then his apprentice, because he rateth his dog, for wallowing in carrion; but rebukes not his servant for resorting to plays, that are rank poison. So corrupt is our judgement in these matters, that we account him a murderer, whom we see delight in shedding of blood; and make him a jester, that woundeth our conscience; we call that a slaughter house where brute beasts are killed; and hold that a pastime, which is the very buchery of Christian souls. We perceive not that trouble and toil draw us to life, ease & idelnesses bring destruction; that sorrow and anguish are virtuous books, pleasure, and sport the devils baits; that honest recreation quickeneth the spirits, & plays are venomous arrows to the mind; that hunters deceive most, when seeming to walk for their delight, they craftily fetch the dear about; that players counterfeiting a show to make us merry, shoot their nets to work our misery; that when Comedy comes upon the stage, Cupid sets up a Spring for Woodcocks, which are entangled ere they descry the line, and caught before they mistrust the snare.  
They must not think that I banish recreation, because I bar them; the Soldier hath aswell a time to sleep, as to keep Sentinel; to rest his bones, as to labour his body. Iron with much occupiying, is worn to nought, with little handling gathereth rust. Moderate sleep refresheth man, too much killeth him in time. Therefore we must neither be laboured too much, for overloading; nor loiter too long, for making ourselves unapt to any thing. Socrates left his study too play with children, but not continually; Cato laid away his Book and drunk wine, but not immoderately; Scipio put of his armour and danced to the Instrument, but not wanton; Pollio Asinius the great Orator, never carried in his Study after ten of the clock, nor red any letters that were sent him after that hour, what haste soever they required, but he did not this too give himself leave too go to Plays, There are other good pastimes to be found, if we be willing too seek them out.  
When Seneca hath showed Serenus all that he can to keep the mind quiet, and too restore it by exercise if it be idle, or by recreation if it be weary; he giveth him this Caveat in the end for a parting blow, that all which he hath set down already, or is able too writ if need require, is not of fort & strength enough, too keep so slender and weak a Hold, except we environ the same ourselves, with a diligent forecast, a daily care. He that thinks wanton plays a meet recreation for the mind of man, is as far from the truth as the foolish Gentiles, which believe that their gods delight in toys; and we which carry our money too Players too feed their pride, may be well compared to the Bath keeper's Ass which bringeth him wood too make his fire, and contenteth himself with the smell of the smoke.  
It is a great folly in us too seek too live in those places that are healthy too the body, not fly from those that are hurtful too the soul; and as hard a matter for him too be cured, that knoweth not the grief wherewith he is troubled. Senecaes' wife had a she fool called Harpastes, which though she was suddenly stricken blind, could not be persuaded that she had lost her sight, but judged the house too be some what dark. In my opinion our Players are as bad as she, though they do not perceive their own abuses, yet will they not say they have lost their eyes, but that their lips hung in their light, or else they are overspread with a Cloud; And worse than those that confess themselves blind, for they, will yield themselves too be led; these, had rather lie in the Channel, then lean too a guide.  
I never yet read of that abuse which found not some too excuse the same, so wicked and evil disposed are we, that we defend our vices because we love them, and had rather excuse them, than shake them of. Ocrina caught a privy clap, & was delivered of Servius Tullius, yet some of her friends did cloak the fault, saying that the child was got with a spark of fire; which peradventure bred such wings in time, that it flew out of the Bastards head in a flame.  
Our players since I set out the School of abuse, have travailed to some of mine acquaintance of both Universities, with fair proffers, and greater promises of rewards, if they would take so much pain as too writ against me; at last like to Penelopees suitors, which seeing themselves disdained of her, were glad to encroach with some of her maids, when neither of both Universities, would hear their plea, they were driven too fly to a weak bedge, and fight for themselves with a rooten stake. Beggars, you know, must be no chosers, hunger sau●eth every meat, when fishers lay their hooks in haste, Frogs will make a savoury dish. It is told me that they have got one in London to writ certain Honest excuses, for so they term it, to their dishonest abuses which I revealed. It is good for him that will falsify psctures, not to let them see the lively creatures, that are desirous to view his work, neither is it convenient for him too present his excuse to any of those that have read my school, and beheld those abuses in playing places, lest their eyes reprove him for a liar.  
How he frames his excuses, I know not yet, because it is done in hudder mudder. Truth can never be Falsehods' Vtsarde, whith maketh him mask without a torch, & keep his papers very secret. I will not deny but something may be probably disputed in their cause by sharper wits, which is such food as slaketh your hunger, for a season, yet will it not breed good blood, nor flesh, nor lively spirits, but bloweth you up, and makes you swell, and turns to corruption in the end. Patroclus may jest in Achilles' armour, but he dares not meddle with Peleus Dart. What cloak soever this Excuser wears, maugre his teeth, he must leave the truth, and strike with a Straw, when he comes to the field. Let him speak what he list in Player's cause, he shall found them shaken with a wondrous Fever, throw featherbeds on them, they are never the warmer, and all his excuses shall stand for perfumes, which faintly set them upon their feet, that grovel in the dust with the falling sickness, but cannot deliver them of their disease. If the Excuser be the man that is named to me, he is as famous a Clerk as Clavitius Sabinus, which was so troubled with a gross conce●te, and as short a memory, that every minute he forgot the names of Ulysses, Achilles, Priamus, and such as he knew as well as the Beggar his dish, being very familiar with them, and daily conversant in their company, yet many times he saluted the one by the other's name: And because his mashippe would seem learned, he heyred him servants with great stipends, of which, one had Homer without Book, another Hesiod, and nine Fiddlers heads to make him an Index, of every one of them taking some several names of his acquaintance, too be remembered. When this Gentleman had got so profound a Family, he began very friendly to feast his acquaintance: in the midst of their dishes, out slew his Poetry, for his pipers were ready too round him in the ear, what he should speak; but his luck was so ill, or his hearing so thick, that he stuck fast continually in the midst of his verse, and could go no farther.  
Crassus' had such a roaring throat, that he was constrained when soever he declaimed to have a piper at his elbow to give him his tune, and keep him in compass. If it be my fortune too meet with the learned works of this London Sabinus, that can not play the Poet without a Prompter; nor utter a wise word, without a Piper; you shall see we will make him to blush like a black Dog when he is graveled; or to dance you a Galia●de when he takes his key. In the mean time my advantage is the greater, that Players have chosen such a Champion, as when I give the Alarm, winnowes his weapon; when I run with a staff, chargeth a Bulrushe; when I spare not to greet them with powder & shot, answers me again with a false fire. I was determined to sand you greater matters, touching the saleable tongue of Curio, but I stay my hand till I see his book, when I have perusd it I will tell you more. Mean while, I beseech them to look to their footing, that run overshooes in all these vanities, jest they be swallowed without recovery: and wishing to my School, some thriftyer scholars; to Players, an honester occupation, and to their Excuser a better mind, I take my leave.  
FINIS.  
Stephan Gosson.  Coelo tegitur, qui non habet urnam.  

 

  

  

   

Imprinted at London at the three Cranes in the Vinetree, by Thomas Dawson. 1579.