¶ The School of Abuse.  
THE Syracusans used such variety of dishes in their banquets, that when they were set, and their boards furnished, they were many times in doubt, which they should touch first, or taste last. And in my opinion the world giveth every writer so large a field to walk in, that before he setpenne to the book, he shall found himself feasted at Syracuse, uncertain where to begin, or when to end. This caused Pindarus too question with his Muse, whether he were better with his art to discifer the life of the Nimpe Melia, or Cadmus' encounter with the Dragon, or the wars of Hercules, at the walls of Thebes, or Bacchus' cups, or Venus' juggling. He saw so many turnings laid open to his feet, that he knew not which way to bend his pace.  
Therefore as I cannot but commend his wisdom, which in banqueting feeds most upon that, that doth nourish best; so must I dispraise his method in writing, which following the course of amorous Poets, dwelleth longest in those points, that profit lest; and like a wanton whelp, leaveth the game, to run riot. The Scarab flies ever many a sweet flower, & lights in a comshard: It is the custom of the fly to leave the sound places of the Horse, and suck at the Botch: The nature of coloquintida, to draw the worst humours too itself: The manner of swine, to forsake the fair fields, and wallow in the mire: And the whole practice of Poets, either with fables to show their abuses, or with plain terms to unfold their mischief, discover their shame, discredit themselves, and disperse their poison thorough all the world. Virgil sweats in describing his Gnat: Ovid hestirreth him to paintout his Flea: the one shows his art in the lust of Dido, the other his cunning in the incest of Myrrah, and that trumpet of Bawdry, the Craft of love.  
I must confess that Poets are the whetstones of wit, notwithstanding that wit is dearly bonght: where honey and gall are mixed, it will be hard to sever the one from the other. The deceitful Physician giveth sweet Syrropes to make his poison go down the smother: The Juggler casteth a mist to work the closer: The Sirens song is the sailors wrack: The Fowler's whistle, the birds death: The wholesome bait, the fishes bane: The Harpies have virgins faces, and vultures Talentes: Hyena speaks like a friend, & devours like a Foe: The calmest Seas hide dangerous Rocks: the Woolfiettes in Wether's fells: Many good sentences are spoken by Davus, to shadow his knavery: and written by Poets, as ornaments to beautify their works, and fet their trumpery too sale without suspect.  
But if you look well too Epaeus horse, you shall find in his bowels the destruction of Troy: open the sepulchre of Semiramis, whose Title promiseth such wealth to the Kings of Persia, you shall see nothing but dead bones: Rip up the golden Ball, that Nero consecrated to jupiter Capitollinus, you shall have it stuffed with the shavings of his Beard: pull off the vizard that Poet's mask in, you shall disclose their reproach, bewray their vanity, loath their wantonness, lament their folly, and perceive their sharp sayings to be placed as Pearls in Dunghills, fresh pictures on rotten walls, chaste Matrons apparel on common Courtesans. These are the Cups of Circe's, that turn reasonable Creatures into brute Beasts; the balls of Hippomenes, that hinder the course of Atalanta; and the blocks of the Devil that are cast in our ways, to cut off the race of toward wits. No marvel though Plato shut them out of his School, and banished them quite from his common wealth, as effeminate writers, unprofitable members, and utter enemies to virtue.  
The Romans were very desirous to imitate the greeks, and pet very loath to receive their Poets: insomuch that Cato layeth it in the dish of Marcus the noble as a foul reproach, that in the time of his consulship, he brought Ennius the Poet into his province. Tully accustomed to read them with great diligence in his youth, but when he waxed graver in study, elder in years, riper in judgement, he accounted 
Tusc 1. 2.  them the fathers of lies, Pipes of vanity, & Schools of Abuse. Maximus Tyrius taketh upon him to defend the discipline of these Doctors under the name of Homer, wresting the rashness of Ajax, to valour; the cowardice of Ulysses, to Policy; the dotage of Nestor, to grave counsel; and the battle of Troy, too the wonderful conflict of the four Elements: where juno which is counted the air, sets in her foot to take up the strife, & steps boldly betwixt them to part the fray. It is a Pageant worth the sight, to behold how he labours with Mountains to bring forth Miso; much like to some of those Players, that come to the scaffold with Drum & Trumpet to proffer skirmish, 
A desperate conflict.  and when they have sounded Alarm, off go the pieces to encounter a shadow, or conquer a Paper monster. You will smile I am sure if you read it, to see how this moral Philosopher toils too draw the lions skin upon Aesop's Ass. Hercules' shoes on a child's feet, amplifying that which the more it is stirred, the more it stinks; the less it is talked of, the better it is liked; & as wayward children, the more they be flattered, the worse they are; or as cursed sores with often touching wax angry, & run the longer without healing. He attributeth the beginning of virtue to Minerva, of friendship to Venus, & the root of all handy crafts to Vulcan; but if he had broke his arm aswell as his leg, when he fell out of heaven into Lemnos, either Apollo must have played the Bonesetter, or every occupation been laid a water. Plato when he saw the doctrine of these Teachers, neither for 
Poets banished by Plato.  profit, necessary, nor to be wished for pleasure, gave them all Drums entertainment, not suffering them once to show their faces in a reformed common wealth. And the same Tyrius that lays such a foundation for Poets, in the name of Ho mere, cuerthrows his whole building in the person of Mithecus, which was an excellent Cook among the greeks, & as much honoured for his confections, as Phidias for his carving. But when he came to Sparta, thinking there for his running to be accounted a God, the good laws of Lycurgus, & custom of the country were to hot for his diet. The governors vanished him & his art, & all the inhabitants following the steps of their Predecessors, used not with dainties to provoke appetite, but with labour and travel too whet their stomachs to their meat. I may well liken Homer to Mithecus, & Poets to Cooks 
poets and Cooks compared together.  the pleasures of the one wins the body from labour, & conquereth the sense; the allurement of the other draws the mind from virtue, and confoundeth wit. As in every perfect common wealth there aught to be good laws established, right maintained, wrong repressed, virtue rewarded, vice punished, and all manner of abuses thoroughly purged: So aught there such schools for the furtherance of the same to be advanced, that young men may be taught that in green years, that becomes them to practise in grey hairs.  
Anacharsis being demanded of 
Poetry in Scythia without vice, as the Phoenix in Arabia, without a fellow.  a Greek, whether they had not instruments of Music, or Schools of Poetry in Scythia, answered, yes, and that without vice, as though it were either impossible, or incredible, that no abuse should be learned where such lessons are taught, & such schools maintained.  
Sallust in describing the nurture of Sempronia, commendeth her wit in that she could frame herself to all companies, too talk discreetly with wise men, and vainly with wantoness, taking a quip ere it came too ground, and returning it back without a fault. She was taught (saith he) both Greek and Latin, she could versify, sing, and dance, better than become an honest woman. Sappho was skilful in Poetry 
Qualities allowed in women.  and sung well, but she was whorish. I set not this down too condemn the gifts of versifying, dancing, or singing in women, so they be used with mean, & exercised in due time. But to show you that as by Anacharsis report the Scythians did it without offence: so one Swallow brings not Summer; nor one particular example sufficient proof for a general precept. white silver, draws a black line; Fire is as hurtful, as healthy; Water as dangerous, as it is commodious; and these qualities as hard to be well used when we have them, as they are to be learned before we get them. He that goes to Sea, must sinel of the Ship; and that sails into Poets will savour of Pitch.  
C. Marius in the assembly of the 
Sallust.  whole Senate at Rome, in a solemn oration, giveth an account of his bringing up: he showeth that he hath been taught to lie on the ground, to suffer all weathers, to lead men, to strike his foe, to fear nothing but an evil name: and challengeth praise unto himself, in that he never learned the Greek tongue, neither meant to be instrucced in it hereafter, either that he thought it too far a journey to fetch learning beyond the field, or because he doubted the abuses of those Schools, where Poets were ever the head masters. Tiberius' 
Poet's thief Maistees in Greece.  the Emperor same somewhat, when he judged Scaurus to death for writing a Tragedy: Augustus, when he banished 
Poets banished from Rome.  Ovid: And Nero when he charged Lucan, to put up his pipes, to stay his pen and writ no more. Burrus and Seneca the schoolmasters of Nero are flouted and hated of the people, for teaching their Scholar the song of Attis. For Dion saith, that the hearing 
Dion in vita Neronis.  thereof wroonge laughter and tears from most of those that were then about him. Whereby I judge that they scorned the folly of the teachers, and lamented the frenzy of the Scholar, who being Emperor of Rome, and bearing the weight of the whole common wealth upon his shoulders, was easier to be drawn to vanity by wanton Poets, then to good government by the fatherly counsel of grave Senators. They were condemned to die by the laws of the Heathens, which enchanted the grain in other men's grounds: and are not they accursed think you by the mouth of God, which having the government of young Princes, with Poetical fantasies draw them to the schools of their own abuses, bewitching the grain in the green blade, that was sowed for the sustenance of many thousauds, & poisoning the spring with their amorous lays, whence the whole common wealth should fetch water? But to leave the sceptre to jupiter, and instructing of Princes to Plutarch and Xenophon, I will bear a low sail, and row near the shore, lest I chance to be carried beyond my reach, or run a ground in those Coasts which I never knew. My only endeavour shallbe to show you that in a rough cast, which I see in a cloud, laking through my fingers.  
And because I have been matriculated myself in the school, where so many abuses flourish, I will imitate the dogs of Egypt, which coming to the banks of Nilus too quench their thirst, sip and away, drink running, jest they be snapte short for a pray too Crocodiles. I should tell tales out of the School, and be Ferruled for my fault, or byssed at for a blab, if I laid all the orders open before your eyes. You are no sooner entered, but liberty looseth the reins, and gives you head, placing you with Poetry in the lowest form: when his skill is shown too make his Scholar as good as ever twangde, he prefers you too Piping, from Piping to playing, from play to pleasure, from pleasure to sloth, from sloth too sleep, from sleep too sin, from sin to death, from death to the devil, if you take your learniug apace, and pass through every form without revolting. Look not too have me discourse these at large, the Crocodile watcheth to take me tardy, which soever of them I touch, is a bile: tripe and go, for I dare not tarry.  
Heraclides accounteth Amphyon the ringleader of Poets and pipers: Delphus Philammones penned the birth of Latona, Diana, & Apollo in verse; and taught the people to Pipe & Dance round about the Temple of Delphos, Hesiodus was as cunning in Piping, as in Poetry: so was Terpandrus, and after him Clonas. Apollo which is honoured of Poets as the God of their Art, had at the one side of his Idol in Delos a Bow, and at the other, the three Graces with three sundry instruments, of which one was a pipe, and some writers affirm that he piped himself now and then.  
Poetry and piping, have always been so united together, that till the time 
Plutarch.  of Melanippides, Pipers were Poets hirelings. But mark I pray you, how they are now both abused.  
The right use of ancient Poetry 
Old Poets,  was too have the notable exploits of worthy Captains, the wholesome counsels of good fathers, and virtuous lives of predecessors set down in numbers, and song to the Instrument at solemn feasts, that the sound of the one might dram the hearers from kissing the cup too often; the sense of the other put them in mind of things past, and chaulk out the way to do the like. After this manner were the Baeotians trained from rudeness to civility, The Lacedæmonians instructed by Tyrteaeus verse, The Argives by the melody of Telesilla, And the Lesbians by Alcaeus Ddes.  
To this end are instruments used in battle, not to tickle the ear, but ton teach every soldier when to strike and when to stay. when to fly, and when to follow. Chiron by singing to his instrument, 
Ilom●●.  quencheth Achilles fury: Terpandrus with his notes, layeth the tempest, and pacifies the tumult at Lacedaemon: Homer with his Music cured the sick Soldiers in the Grecians camp, and purged every man's Tent of the Plague. Think you that those miracles could be wrought with playing of Dances, Dumps, Pavins, Galiardes, Measures Fancies, or new streynes? They never came where this grew, nor knew what it meant.  
Pythagoras bequeathes them a Clookebagge, and condemns them for fools, that judge Music by sound and ear. If you will be good Scholars, and profit well in the Art of Music, shut your Fidels in their cases, and look up to heaven: the order of the Spheres, the unfallible motion of the Planets, the just course of the year, and variety of seasons, the concord of the Elements and their qualities, Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Heat, Cold, Moisture and Drought concurring together to the constitution of earthly bodies and sustenance of every creature.  
The politic Laws, in well governed common wealths, that tread 
True Muficke.  down the proud, and uphold the meek, the love of the King & his subjects, the Father and his child, the Lord and his Slave, the Master and his Man, The Trophies and Triumphs of our ancestors, which pursued virtue at the hardeheeles, and shunned vice as a rock for fear of shipwreck, are excellent masters too show you that this is right Music, this perfect harmony. Chiron when he appeased the wrath of Achilles, told him the duty of a good soldier, repeated the virtues of his father Peleus, and sung the famous euterprises of noble men. Terpandrus when he ended the brabbles at Lacedaemon, neither piped Rogero nor Turkelony, but reckoning up the commodities of friendship and fruits of debate, putting them in mind of Lycurgus' laws, taught them too tread a better measure. When Homer's muuncke drove the pestilence from the Grecians camp, there was no such virtue in his pen, nor in his pipe, but if I might be umpire, in the sweet harmony of diverse natures & wondered concord of sundry medicines. For Apollo's cunning excendeth itself aswell to Physic, as music or Poetry. And Plutarch reporteth that as Chiron was a wise man, a learned Poet, a skilful Musician, so was he also a teacher of justice, by showing what Princes aught to do, and a Reader of Physic, by opening the natures of many simples. If you inquire how many such poets and Pipers we have in our Age, I am persuaded that every one of them may creep through a ring, or dance the wild Morris in a Needle's eye. We have infinite Poets, and Pipers, and such peevish cattle among us in England, that live by merry begging, maintained by alms, and privily encroach upon every man's purse. But if they that are in authority, and have the sword in their hands to cut off abuses, should call an account to see how many Chiron's, Terpandri, and Homer's are here, they might cast the sum without pen, or counters, and sit down with Racha, to weep for her Children, because they were not. He that compareth our instruments, with those that were used in ancient times, shall see them agreed like Dogs & Cats, and meet as tump as Germans lips. Terpandrus and Olympus used instruments of 7. strings. And Plutarch is of opinion that the instruments of 3. strings, with were used before their time, passed all that have followed since. It was an old law & long kept that no man should according to his own humour, add or diminish, in matters concerning that Art, but walk in the paths of their predecessors. But when new-fangled Phrynis became a fiddler, being somewhat curious in carping, & searching for moats with a pair of blearde eyes, thought to amend his masters, & marred al. Timotheus a bird of the same brood, & a right hound of the same Hare, took the 7. stringed harp, that was altogether used in Terpandrus time, & increased the numb these abuses in the compass of that country: but like unto ill weeds in time spread so far, that they choked the good grain in every place.  
For as Poetry & Piping are cozen germans: so piping, and playing are of great affinity, and all three chained in links of abuse.  
Plutarch complaineth, that ignorant men, not knowing the majesty of ancient music, abuse both the ears of the people, and the Art itself: with bringing sweet consorts into theatres, which rather effeminate the mind, as pricks unto vice, then procure amendment of manners, as spurs to virtue. Ovid the high martial of Venus' field planteth his main battle in public assemblies, sendeth out his scouts too theatres to descry the enemy, and in steed of vaunt Curriers, with instruments of music, playing, singing, and dancing, gives the first charge. Maximus Tyrius holdeth it for a Maxim, that the bringing of instruments to theatres & plays, was the first cup that poisoned the common weaith. They that are borne in Seriphos, & cockered continually in those Illandes, where they see nothing but Foxes, & Hares, will never be persuaded that there are huger beasts: They that never went out of the champions in Brabant, will hardly conceive what rocks are in Germany. And they that never go out of their houses, for regard of their credit, nor step from the university for love of knowledge, seeing but slender offences & small abuses within their own walls, will never believe that such rocks are abroad, nor such horrible monsters in playing places. But as (I speak the one to my comfort, the other to my shame, and remember both with a sorrowful heart) I was first instructed in the university, after drawn like a novice to these abuses: so will I show you what I see, & inform you what I read of such affairs. Ovid saith, that Romulus built his Theatre as a horse fair for hores, made Triumphs, & set out plays to gather the fair women together, that every one of his sonldiers might take where he liked, a snatch for his share: whereupon the Amorous Schoolmaster bursteth out in these words:  
Romule, militibus solus dare praemia nosti:  
Haec mihi si dederis commoda, miles ero.  
Thou Romulus alone knowest how thy soldiers to reward:  
Grant me the like, myself will be attendant on thy guard.  
It should seem that the abuse of such places was so great, that for any chaste liver to haunt them was a black swan, & a white crow. Dion so straightly forbiddeth the ancient families of Rome & gentlewomen that tender their name & honour, to come to theatres, & rebuks then so sharply, when he takes then napping, that if they be but once seen there, he judgeth it sufficient cause to speak ill of them & think worse. The shadow of a knave hurts an honest man: the sent of the stews a sober matron: and the show of theatres a simple gazer. Clitomachus the wrestler given altogether to manly exercise, if he had heard any talk of love, in what company soever he had been, would forsake his seat, & bid them adieu.  
Lacon when he saw the athenans study so much to set out Plays, said they were mad. If men for good exercise, and women for their credit, ve shut from theatres, whom shall we suffer to go thither? Little children? Plutarch with a caveat keepeth them out, not so much as admitting the little crackhalter that carrieth his masters pantouffles, to set foot within those doors: And allegeth this reason, that those wanton spectacles of light housewives, drawing gods from the heavens, & young men from themselves to shipwreck of honesty, will hurt them more, than if at the Epicures table, they had nigh burst their guts with over feeding. For if the body be overcharged, it may be holp; but the surfeit of the soul is hardly cured. Here I doubt not 
Objection.  but some Archplayer or other that hath read a little, or stumbled by chance upon Plautus' comedies, will cast me above or two. to pick, saying, that whatsoever these ancient writers have spoken against plays is to be applied too the abuses in old Comedies, where Gods are brought in, as Prisoners too beauty, ravishers of Virgins, and servants by love, too earthly creatures. But the Comedies that are exercised in our days are better sifted. They show no such bran: The first smelt of Plautus, these taste of Menander; the lewdness of Gods, is altered and changed to the love of young men; force, to friendship; rapes, too marriage; wooing allowed by assurance of wedding; privy meetings of bachelors and maidens on the stage, not as murderers that devour the good name each of other in their minds, but as those that desire to be made one in heart. Now are the abuses of the world revealed, every man in a play may see his own faults, and learn by this glass, to amend his manners. Curculio may chat till his heart ache, ere any be offended with his girds. Deformities are checked in jest, and mated in earnest. The sweetness of music, and pleasure of sports, temper the bitterness of rebukes, and mitigate the tartness of every taunt according to this.  
Omne vafer vitium ridenti Flaccus amico  
Narrat, & admissus circum pcordia ludit.  
Flaccus among his friends, with fawning Muse  
Doth nip him near, that fostreth foul abuse.  
Therefore they are either so blind, that they cannot, or so blunt, that they will not see why this exercise should 
●●●●were.  not be suffered as a profitable recreation. For my part I am neither so fond a Physician, nor so bad a Cook, but I can allow my patient a cup of wine to meals, although it be hot; and pleasant sauces to drive down his meat, if his stomach he queasy. Notwithstanding, if people will be instructed, (God be thanked) we have Divines enough to discharge that, and more by a great many, then are well hearkened to: yet sith these abuses are grown too head, and sin so ripe, the number is less than I would it were.  
Euripides holds not him only a fool, that being well at home, will gad abroad, that hath a Conduit within door, and fetcheth water without: but all such beside, as have sufficient in themselves, to make themselves merry with pleasant talk, tending too good, and mixed with 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the Grecians glee, yet will they seek when they need not, to be sported abroad at plays and pageants. Plutarch likeneth the recreation that is got by conference, too a pleasant banquet; the sweet pap of the one sustaineth the body, the savoury doctrine of the other doth nourish the mind: and as in banqueting, the waiter stands ready too fill the Cup: So in all our recreations we should have an instructor at our elbows to feed the soul. If we gather Grapes among thistles, or seek for this food at theatres, we shall have a hard pyttaunce, and come to short commons. I cannot think that City to be safe, that strikes down her Percollices, rams up her gates, and suffereth the enemy to enter the postern. Neither will I be persuaded, that he is any way likely to conquer affection, which breaketh his instruments, burneth all his Poets, abandons his haunt, mufleth his eyes as he passeth the street, and resorts too theatres too be assaulted. Cooks did never show more craft in their iunckets to vanquish the taste, nor Painters in shadows to allure the eye, than Poets in theatres to wound the conscience.  
There setchey abroach strange consorts of melody, to tickle the ear; costly apparel, to flatter the sight; effeminate gesture, to ravish the sense; and wanton speech, to whet desire too inordinate lust. Therefore of both barrels, I judge Cooks and Painters the better hearing, for the one extendeth his art no farther then to the tongue, palate, and nose, the other to the eye; and both are ended in outward sense, which is common to us with bruit beasts. But these by the privy entries of the ear, slip down into the heart, & with gun-shot of affection gaul the mind, where reason and virtue should rule the roast. These people in Rome were as pleasant as Nectar at the first beginning, & cast out for lees, when their abuses were known. They whom Caesar upheld, were driven out by Octavian: whom Caligula reclaimed, were cast of by Nero: whom Neruä exalted, were thrown down by Traian: whom Anthony admitted, were expelled again, pestered in Galleys & sent into Hellespont by Marcus Aurelius. But when the whole rabble of Poets, Pipers, Players, Jugglers, Jesters, & dancers were received again, Rome was reported to be fuller of fools then of wise men. Domitian suffered playing & dancing so long in theatres, that Paris led the 
Domitia was the first wife of Domitian, and Messalina, the second.  shaking of sheets with Domitia, and Mnester the Trenchmour with Messalina. Caligula made so much of Players and Dancers, that he suffered them openly to kiss his lips, 
Dion.  when the Senators might scarce have a lick at his feet: He gave Dancers great stipends for selling their hops: & placed Apelles the player by his own sweet side: Besides that you may see what excellent grave men were ever about him, he loved Prasinus the Cochman so well, that for good will to the master, he bid his horsetosupper, gave him wine to drink in cups of estate, set barley grains of gold before him to eat, and swore by no bugs, that he would make him a Consul: which thing (saith Dion) had been performed, had he not been prevented by sudden death. For as his life was abominable, so was his end miserable: Coming from dancing & playing, he was slain by Chaerea, a just reward, and a fit Catastrophe, I have heard some Players vaunt of the credit they had in Rome, but they are as foolish in that, as Vibius Rufus which boasted himself to be an Emperor because he had sit in Caesar's chair, & a perfect Orator, because he was married to Tully's widow. Better might they say themselves to be murderers, because they have represented the persons of Thyestes and Atreus, Achilles & Hector: or perfect Limb lifters, for teaching the tricks of every Strumpet. Such are the abuses that I read of in Rome: such are the Caterpillars that have devoured and blasted the fruit of Egypt: Such are the Dragons that are hurtful in Africa: Such are the Adders that sting with pleasure, and kill with pain: and such are the Basilisks of the world, that poison, as well with the beam of their sight, as with the breath of their mouth.  
Consider with thyself (gentle Reader) the old discipline of England, mark what we were before, & what we are now: Leave Rome a while, and cast thine eye back to thy Predecessors, and tell me how wonderfully we have been changed, since we were schooled with these abuses. Dion saith, 
Matters of England in old time,  that english men could suffer watching and labour, hunger & thirst, and bear of all storms with head and shoulders, they used slender weapons, went naked, and were good soldiers, they fed upon roots and barks of trees, they would stand up to the chin many days in marshes without victuals: and they had a kind of sustenance in time of need, of which if they had taken but the quantity of a bean, or the weight of a pease, they did neither gape after meat, nor long for the cup, a great while after. The men in valour not yielding to Scythia, 
Old exercise of England.  the women in courage passing the Amazons. The exercise of both was shooting and darting, running & wrestling, and trying such masteries, as either consisted in swiftness of feet, agility of body, strength of arms, or Martial discipline. But the exercise 
New England  that is now among us, is banqueting playing, piping, and dancing, and all such delights as may win us to pleasure, or rock us a sleep.  
O what a wonderful change is this? Our wreastling at arms, is turned to wallowing in Ladies laps, our courage, to cowardice, our running to riot, our Bows into Bolles, and our Darts to Dishes. We have rob Greece of Gluttony, Italy of wantonness, Spain of pride, France of deceit, and Dutchland of quaffing. Compare London to Rome, & England to Italy, you shall find the theatres of the one, the abuses of the other, to be rife among us. Experto crede, I have seen somewhat, and therefore I think may say the more. In Rome when Plays or Pageants are shown: Ovid chargeth his Pilgrims, to creep close to the Saints, whom they serve, and show their double diligence to lift the gentlewomen's robes from the ground, for soiling in the dust; to sweep Moats from their Kirtles, to keep their fingers in ure; to lay their hands at their backs for an east stay; to look upon those, whom they behold; too praise that, which they commend; too like every thing, that pleaseth them; to present them Pomegranates, to pick as they sit; and when all is done, to wait on them mannerly too their houses. In our assemblies at plays in London, you shall see such heaving, and shoving, such itching and shouldering, too sit by women; Such care for their garments, that they be not trod on: Such eyes to their laps, that no chips light in them: Such pillows to their backs, that they take no hurt: Such masking in their ears, I know not what: Such giving them Pippins to pass the time: Such playing at foot Saunt without Cards: Such ticking, such toying, such smiling, such winking, and such mamning them home, when the sports are ended, that it is a right Comedy, to mark their behaviour, to watch their conceits, as the Cat for the Mouse, and as good as a course at the game itself, to dog them a little, or follow aloof by the print of their feet, and so discover by ●●●tte where the Dear taketh soil. If this were as well noted, as ill seen: or as openly punished, as secretly practised: I have no doubt but the cause would be seared to dry up the effect, and these pretty Rabbits very cunningly ferreted from their borrows. For they that lack Customers all the week, either because their haunt is unknown, or the Constables and Officers of their Parish, watch them so narrowly, that they dare not queatche; To celebrated the Sabbath, flock to theatres, and there keep a general Market of Bawdry: Not that any filthiness in deed, is committed within the compass of that ground, as was done in Rome, but that every wanton and his Paramour, every man and his Mistress, every John and his Joan, every knave and his quean, are there first acquainted & cheapen the Merchandise in that place, which they-pay for elsewhere as they can agreed. These worms when they dare not nestle in the Peascod at home, find refuge abroad and are hid in the ears of other men's Corne. Every Uawter in one blind Tavern or other, is Tenant at will, to which she colleth resort, and plays the stolen to utter their victuals, and help them to empty their musty raskes. There is she so entreated with words, and received with courtesy, that every back room in the house is at her commandment. Some that have neither land to maintain them; nor good occupation to get their bread, desirous to strowt it with the best, yet disdaining too live by the sweat of their brows, have found out this cast of Ledgerdemayne, to play fast & lose among their neighbours. If any part of Music have suffered shipwreck, and arrived by fortune at their finger's ends, with show of gentility they take up fair houses, receive lusty lasses at a price for borders, and pipe from morning to evening for wood and coal. By the brothers, cousins, uncles, great grandsires, and such like acquaintance of their guests, they drink of the best, they sit rent free, they have their own Table spread to their hands, without wearing the strings of their purse, or any thing else, but household and honesty. When resort so increaseth that they grow in suspicion, and the pots which are sent so often too the Tavern, get such a knock before they come home, that they return their Master a crack to his credit: Though he be called in question of his life, he hath shifts enough to avoid the blank. If their houses be searched, some instrument of Music is laid in sight to dazzle the eyes of every Officer, and all that are lodged in the house by night, or frequent it by day, come thither as pupils to be well schooled. Other there are which being so known that they are the bywoorde of every man's mouth, and pointed at commonly as they pass the streets, either couch themselves in Allies, or blind Lanes, or take sanctuary in fryeries, or live a mile from the City like Venus' Nuns in a Cloister at Newington, Ratliffe, Islington, Hogsdon or some such place, where like penitents, they deny the world, and spend their days in double devotion. And when they are weighed of contemplation to comfort themself, and renew their acquaintance, they visit theatres, where they make full account of a pray before they depart. Solon made no law for Parricides, because he feared that he should rather put men in mind to commit such offences, then by any strange punishment, give them a bit to keep them under. And I intend not to show you all that I see, nor half that I hear of these abuses, jest you judge me more wilful to teach them, then willing to forbidden them.  
I look still when Players should cast me their Gauntlets, and challenge a combat for entering so far into their possessions, as though I made them Lords of this misrule, or the very schoolmasters of these abuses: though the best Clerks be of that opinion, they hear not me say so. There are more houses then Parish Churches, more maids than Malkin, more ways to the wood than one, and more causes in nature then Efficients. The Carpenter raiseth not his frame without tools, nor the Devil his work without instruments: were not Players the mean, to make these assemblies, such multitudes would hardly be drawn in so narrow room. They seek not to hurt, but desire too please: they have purged their Comedies of wanton speeches, yet the Corn which they cell, is full of Cockle: and the drink that they draw, overcharged with dregs. There is more in them then we perceive, the Devil stands at our elbow when we see not, speaks, when we hear him not, striketh when we feel not, and woundeth sore when he raseth no skin, nor rents the flesh. In those things, that we lest mistrust, the greatest danger doth often lurk. The Countryeman is more afraid of the Serpent that is hid in the grass, than the wild beast that openly feeds upon the mountains: The Mariner is more endangered by privy shelves, then known Rocks; The Soldier is sooner killed with a little Bullet, than a long Sword; There is more peril in close Fistoloes, then outward sores; insecret ambush, then main battles; in undermining, then plain assaulting; in friends than foes; in civil discord, then foreign wars. Small are the abuses, and sleight are the faults, that now in theatres escape the Poet's pen: But call Cedars, from little grains shoot high: great Okes, from slender roots spread wide: Large streams, from narrow springs run far: One little spark, fierce a whole City: One dram of Eleborus ransacks every vain: The Fish Remora hath a small body, and great force too stay ships against wind and tide: Ichneumon a little worm, overcomes the Elephant: The viper slays the Bull: The Weasel the Cockatrice: And the weakest Wasp, stingeth the stoutest man of war. The height of Heaven, is taken by the staff: The bottom of the Sea, sounded with lead: The farthest coast, discovered by Compass: the secrets of nature, searched by wit: the Anatomy of man, set out by experience: But the abuses of plays cannot be shown, because they pass the degrees of the instrument, reach of the Plummet, sight of the mind, and for trial are never brought to the touchstone. Therefore he that will avoid the open shame of privy sin, the common plague of private offences, the great wracks of little Rocks; the sure disease of uncertain causes; must set hand to the stern, and eye to his steps, to shun the occasion as near as he can: neither running to bushes for renting his clotheses, nor rend his clotheses for impairing his thrift; nor walk upon Ice, for taking a fall, nor take a fall for bruising himself; nor go too theatres for being alured, nor once be alured for fear of abuse.  
Bunduica a notable woman and a Queen of England, that time that Nero was Emperor of Rome, having some of the Romans in garrison here against her, in an Oration which she made to her subjects, seemed utterly to contemn their force, and laugh at their folly. For she accounted them unwodrthy the name of men, or title of Soldiers, because they were smoothly apparelled, soft lodged, daintily feasted, bathed in warm waters, rubbed with sweet ointments, strewed with fine powders, wine swillers, singers, Dancers, and Players. God hath now blessed 
The Queen's Majesty.  England with a Queen, in virtue excellent, in power mighty, in glory renowned, in government politic, in possession rich, breaking her foes with the bent of her brow, ruling her subjects with shaking her hand, removing debate by diligent foresight, filling her chests with the fruits of peace, ministering justice by order of law, reforming abuses with great regard: & bearing her sword so even, that neither the poor are trod under foot, nor the rich suffered to look too high, nor Rome, nor France, nor Tyrant, nor Turk, dare for their lives too enter the List. But we unworthy servants of so mild a Mistress, unnatural children of so good a mother, unthankful subjects of so loving a prince, wound her royal heart with abusing her lenity, and stir jupiter to anger to sand us a Stork that shall devour us. Now often hath her Majesty with the grave advise of her honourable Council, set down the limits of apparel to every degree, and how soon again hath the pride of our hearts overflown the channel? How many times hath access to theatres been restrained, and how boldly again have we re-entered? overlashing in apparel is so common a fault, that the very hirelings ofsome of our Players, 
Player's men.  which stand at reversion of vi. s, by the week, jet under gentlemen's noses in suits of silk, exercising themselves too prating on the stage, & common scoffing when they come abroad, where they look askance over the shoulder at every man, of whom the sunday before they begged an alms. I speak not this, as though every one that professeth the quality so abused himself, for it is well known, that some of them are sober, discreets, properly learned honest householders 
Some Players modest, if I be not deceined.  and Citizens well thonght on among their neighbours at home, though the pride of their shadows (I mean those hangebyes whom they secure with stipend) 'cause them to be somewhat il talked of abroad. And as some of the Players are far from abuse: so some of their Plays are without rebuke: which are as easily remembered as quickly reckoned. The two 
Some Plays tolerable at sometime.  prose Books played at the Belsavage, where you shall find never a word without wit, never a line without pith, never a letter placed in vain. The jew & Ptolemy, shown at the Bull, the one representing the greediness of worldly choosers, and bloody minds of Usurers: The other very lively discrybing how seditious estates, with their own devices, false friends, with their own swords, & rebellious commons in their own snares are overthrown: neither with Amorous gesture wounding the eye: nor with slovenly talk hurting the ears of the chaste hearers. The Black Smith's daughter, & catilin's conspiracies usually brought in to the Theatre: The first containing the treachery of Turks, the honourable bounty of a noble mind, & the shining of virtue in distress: The last, because it is known too be a Pig of mine own Sow, I will speak the less of it; only giving you to understand, that the whole mark which I shot at in that work, was too show the reward of traitors in Catiline, and the necessary government of learned men, in the person of Cicero, which forsees every danger that is likely to happen, and forstalles it continually ere it take effect. Therefore I give these Plays the commendation, that Maximus Tyrius gave too Homer's works: 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
These Plays are good plays and sweet plays, and of all plays the best plays and most to be liked, worthy to be sung of the Muses, or set out with the cunning of Roscius himself, yet ate they not fit for every man's diet: neither aught they commonly to be shown. 
Plays are not to be made common.  Now if any man ask me why myself have penned Comedies in time paste, & inveigh so eagerly against them here, let him know that Semelinsanivimus omnes: I have sinned, and am sorry for my fault: he runs far that never turns, better late than never. I gave myself to that exercise in hope to thrive but I burned one candle to seek another, and lost both my time and my travel, when I had done.  
Thus sith I have in my voyage suffered wrack with Ulysses, and wringing-wet scambledwith life to the shore, stand from me Nausicaä with all thy train, till I wipe the blot from my forehead, and with sweet springs wash away the salt froth that cleaves too my soul.  
Mean time if Players be called to account for the abuses that grow by their assemblies, I would not have them to answer, as Pylades did for the theatres of Rome, when they were complained on, and Augustus waxed 
Dion in vita Augusti.  angry: This resort O Caesar is good for thee, for here we keep thousands of idle heads occupied, which elseperaduenture would brew some mischief. A fit Cloud co cover their abuse, & not unlike to the starting hole that Lucinius found, who like a greedy surveyor, being sent into France to govern the Country, rob them and spoiled them of all their Treasure with unreasonable tasks: at the last when his cruelty was so loudly cried out on, that every man heard it; and all his packing 
Players compared to Lucinius.  did savour so strong, that Augustus smelled it; he brought the good Emperor into his house, flapped him in the mouth with a smooth lie, and told him that for his sake & the safety of Rome, he gathered those riches, the better to impoverish the Country for rising in Arms, and so hold the poor Frenchmennes' Noses to the Grindstone for ever after.  
A bad excuse is better, they say then none at all. He, because the Frenchmen paid tribute every month, into xittis. Months divided the year: These because they are allowed to play every Sunday, make iiii. or u Sundays at lest every week, and all that is done is good for Augustus, to busy the wits of his people, for running a wolgathering, and to empty their purses for thriving to fast. Though Lucinius had the cast to plaster up his credit with the loss of his money: I trust that they which have the sword in their hands among us to pair away this putrefied flesh, are sharper sighted, and will not so easily be deluded.  
Marcus Aurelius saith, That players 
Epist. 12. ad Lambertum.  falling from just labour to unjustly idleness, do make more trewandes, and ill husbands, then if open Schools of unthrifts & Uagabounds were kept. Who soever readeth his Epistle too Lambert the governor of Hellespont, when Players were banished, shall found more against them in plainer terms, than I will utter.  
This have I setdowne of the abuses of Poets, pipers, and Players which bring us too pleasure, sloth, sleep, sin, and without repentance to death and the Devil: which I have not confirmed by authority of the Scriptures, because they are not able to stand up in the sight of God: and sithence they dare not abide the field, where the word of God doth bid them battle, but run to antiquities (though nothing be more ancient than holy Scriptures) 
Scriptures too hot fo● Players.  I have given them a volley of profane writers to begin the skirmish, and done my endeavour to beat them from their holds with their own weapons. The Patient that will be cured, of his own accord, must seek the mean: if every man desire to save one, and draw his own feet from theatres, it shall prevail as much against these abuses, as Homer's Moly against Witchcraft, or Pliny's Peristerion against the biting of Dogs.  
God hath armed every creature against his enemy: The Lion with paws, the Bull with horns, the Boar with tusks, the vulture with talents, Hearts, Hinds, Hares, and such like, with swiftness of feet, because they are fearful, every one of them putting his gift in practice; But man which is Lord of the whole earth, for whose service herbs, trees, roots, plants, fish, soul & beasts of the field were first made, is far worse than the brute beasts: for they endued but with sense, do Appetere salutaria, & declinare noxia, seek that which helps them, and forsake that which hurts them.  
Man is enriched with reason and knowledge: with knowledge, to serve his maker and govern himself; with reason to distinguish good and ill, & chose the best, neither referring the one to the glory of God, nor using the other to his own profit. Fire and Air mount upwards, 
Corporanaturalia ad locum moventur, & in suis sedibus acquiaescunt.  Earth and Water sink down, & every insensible body else, never rests, till it bring itself to his own home. But we which have both sense, reason, wit, and understanding, are ever overlashing, passing our bounds, going beyond our limits, never keeping ourselves 
Man unmindful of his end.  within compass, nor once looking after the place from whence we came, and whither we must in spirit of our hearts.  
Aristotle thinketh that in great 
Hi. Animal.  winds, the Bees carry little stones in their mouths too poise their bodies, lest they be carried away, or kept from their Hives, unto which they desire to return with the fruits of their labour. The Crane is said to rest upon one leg, and holding up the other, keep a Pibble in her claw, which as soon as the senses are bound by approach of sleep, falls to the ground, & with the noise of the knock against the Earth, makes her awake, whereby she is ever ready to prevent her enemies. Geese are foolish birds, yet when they fly over the mount Taurus, they show great wisdom in their own defence: for they stop their pipes full of gravel to avoid gaggling, & so by silence escape the Eagles. Woodcocks, though they lack wit to save themselves, yet they want not will to avoid hurt, when they thrust their heads in a Bush, and think their bodies out of danger. But we which are so brittle, that we break with every fillip; so weak, that we are drawn with every thread; so light, that we are blown away with every ulaste; so unsteady, that we slip in every ground; neither poise our bodies against the wind, nor stand upon one leg, for sleeping too much: nor close up our lips for betraying ourselves, nor use any wit, to guard our own persons, nor show ourselves willing too shun our own harms, running most greedily to those places, where we are soon overthrown.  
I cannot liken our affection better than to an Arrow, which getting liberty, with wings is carried beyond our reach; kept in the Quiver, it is still at commandment: Or to a Dog, let him slip, he is strait out of sight, hold him in the Lease, he never stirs: Or to a Colt, give him the bridle, he flings about; rain him hard, & you may rule him: Or to a ship, hoist the sails it runs on head; let fall the Ancour, all is well: Or to Pandora's box, lift up the lid, out flies the Devil; shut it up fast, it cannot hurt us.  
Let us but shut up our ears to Poets, pipers and Players, pull our feet back from resort to theatres, and turn away our eyes from beholding of vanity, the greatest storm of abuse will be overblown, and a fair path trodden to amendment of life. Were not we so foolish to taste every drug, and buy every trifle, Players would shut in their shops, and carry their trash to some other Country.  
Themistocles in setting a piece of his ground to sale, among all the commodities which were reckoned up, straightly charged the Crier to proclaim this, that he which bought it, should have a good neighbour. If Players can promise' in words, and perform it in deeds, proclaim it in their Bills, and make it good in theatres; that there is nothing there noisome too the body, nor hurtful to the soul: and that every one which comes to buy their jests, shall have an honest neighbour, tag and rag, cut and long tail, go thither and spare not, otherwise I advise you to keep you thence, myself will begin too lead the dance.  
I make just reckoning to be held for a Stoic, in dealing so hardly with these people: but all the Keys hung not at one man's girdle, neither do these open the locks to all abuses. There are oath which have a share with them in their Schools, therefore aught they to dance the same Round: and be partakers together of the same rebuke: Fencers, Dicers, Dancers, Tumbles, Carders, and Bowlers.  
Dancers and Tumblers, because they are dumb Players, and I have 
Dancers and Tumblers.  glanced at them by the way, shall be let pass with this clause, that they gather no assemblies, and go not beyond the precincts which Peter Martyr in his commentaries upon the Judges hath set them down: That is, if they will exercise those qualities, to do it priutlye, for the health and agility of the body, referring all to the glory of God.  
Dicers and Carders because their 
Dicers and Carders.  abuses are as commonly cried out on, as usually shown, have no need of a needless discourse, for every man seeth them, and they stink almost in evecy man's nose. Common Bowling 
Bowling Alleys.  Allies, are privy Moths, that eat up the credit of many idle Citizens: whose gains at home, are not able too weigh down their losses abroad, whose Shops are so far from maintaining their play, that their Wives and Children cry out for bread, and go to bed supperless oft in the year.  
I would read you a Lecture of these abuses, but my School so increaseth, that I cannot touch all, nor stand to amplify every point: one word of Fencing, and so a Congee to all kind of Plays. The knowledge in weapons 
Fencers.  may be gathered to be necessary in a common wealth, by the Senators of Rome, who in the time of catilin's conspiracies, caused Schools of Defence 
Sallust.  to be erected in Capua, that teaching the people how to ward, and how to lock, how to thrust, and how to strike, they might the more safely cope with their enemies. As the Art of Logic was first set down for a rule, by which we might Confirmare nostra, & refutare aliena, confirm our own reasons, and confute the allegations of our adversaries, the end being truth, which once fished out by the hard encounter of either's Arguments, like fire by the knocking of Flintes together, both parts should be satisfied and strive no more. And I judge that the craft of Defence was first devised to save ourselves harmless, and hold our enemies still at advantage, the end being right, which once thoroughly tried out, at handy strokes, neither he that offered injury should have his will, nor he that was threatened, take any hurt, but both be contented and shake hands. Those days are now changed, the skill of Logicians, is exercised in caviling, the cunning of Fencers applied to quarreling: they, think themselves no Scholars, if they be not able to find out a knot in every rush; these, no men, if for stirring of a straw, they prove not their valour upon some bodies flesh. Every Duns will be a Carper, every Dick Swash a common Cutter. But as they bake, many times so they brew: Self do, self have, they whet their Swords against themselves, pull the house on their own heads, return home by weeping Cross, and few of them come to an honest end. For the same water that drives the Mill, decayeth it. The wood is eaten by the worm, that breeds within it: The goodness of a knife cuts the owner's finger, The Adder's death, is her own brood, the Fencer's scathe, his own knowledge. Whether their hearts be hardened, which use that exercise, or God give them over I know not well: I have read of none good that practised it much. Commodus the 
Commodus a Fencer and exercised in murder.  Emperor, so delighted in it, that often times he slew one or other at home, to keep his fingers in ure. And one day he gathered all the sick, lame, and impotent people of Rome into one place, where he hampered their feet with strange devices, gave them soft sponges in their hands, to throw at him for stones, & with a great club knatched them all on the head, as they had been Giants. Epaminondas a famous 
Epaminondas ●●inde on his Buckler.  Captain, fore hurt in a battle, and carried out of the field, half dead: When tidings was brought him that his Soldiers got the day, asked presently, what become of his Buckler: whereby it appeareth, that he lo●ed his weapons, but I find it not said that he was a Fencer. Therefore I may liken them which would not have men sent to war till they are taught fencing, to those superstitious wisemen, which would not take upon them to bury the bodies of their friends, before they had been cast unto wild beasts. Fencing is grown to such abuse, that I may well compare the Scholars of this School to them that provide Statues for their own shoulders; that foster Snakes, in their own bosoms; that trust Wolves, to guard their Sheep; And to the men of Hyrcania, that keep Mastiffs, to woorrye themselves. Though I speak this too the shame of common Fencers, I go not about the bush with Soldiers, Homer calleth them 
Soldiers.  the Sons of jupiter, the Images of GOD, and the very shepherds of the people: being the Sons of jupiter, they are bountiful too the meek; and thunder out plagues to the proud in heart: being the Images of GOD, they are the wellsprings of Justice which giveth to every man his own; being accounted the shepherds of the people, they fight with the Wolf for the safety of their flock and keep of the enemy for the wealth of their Country. How full are Poet's works of Bucklers, Battles, Lances, Darts, Bows, Quivers, Spears, javelins, Swords, slaughters, Runners Wrestlers, Chariots, Horse, and men at arms? Agamemnon beyond the name of a King hath this title, that he was a Soldier. Menelaus, because he loved his Kercher better than a Burgonet, a soft bed then a hard field, the sound of Instruments then neighing of Steeds, a fair stable than a foul way, is let slip without praise. If Lycurgus before he make laws too Sparta, take counsel of Apollo, whether it were good for him to teach the people thrift and husbandry, he shallbe charged to leave those precepts to the white liuered Hylotes. The Spartans are all steel, fashioned out of tougher metal, free in mind, valiant in heart, servile to none, accustoming their flesh to stripes, their bodies to labour, their feet to hunting, their hands to fight. In Crete, Scythia, Persia, Thracia, all the Laws tended to the maintenance of martial discipline. Among the Scythians no man was permitted to drink of their festival Cup, which had not manfully killed an enemy in fight. I could wish it in England, that there were greater preferment for the valiant Spartans, than the sottish Hylotes: That our Laws were directed to rewarding of those, whose lives are the first, that must be hazarded to maintain the liberty of the Laws. The gentlemen of Carthage, were not allowed too wear, any more links in their chains, than they had seen battles. If our Gallants of England might carry no more links in their Chains nor ringsses on their fingers, than they have fought fields, their necks should not be very often wreathed in Gold, nor their hands embroidered with precious stones. If none but they might be suffered to drink out of plate, that have in skirmish slain one of her majesties enemies, many thousands should bring earthen pots to the table. Let us learn by other men's harms too look to ourselves, When the Egyptians were most busy in their husbandry, the Scythians overran them: when the Assyrians were looking to their thrift, the Persians were in arms & overcame them: when the troyans thought themselves safest, the greeks were nearest: when Rome was a sleep, the French men gave a sharp assault too the Capitol: when the jews were idle, their walls were razed, & the Romans entered: when the Chaldees were sporting, Babylon was sacked: when the senators were quiet, no garrisons in Italy, & Pompey from home, wicked Catiline began his mischievous enterprise. We are like those unthankful people, which puffed up with prosperity forget the good turns they received in adversity. The patiented feeds his Physician with gold in time of sickness, & when he is well, scarcely affords him a cup of water. Some there are that make gods of soldiers in open wars, & truss them up like dogs in the time of peace. Take heed of the foxefurd nightcap, I mean those schoolmen, that cry out upon Mars calling him the bloody God, the angry God, the furious god, the mad God, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the bloody God. These are but casts of their office & words of course. That is a vain brag & a false alarm, that Tully gives to soldiers.  Cedant arma togae, concedat laurea linguae. 
Let guns to gouns, & bucklers yield to books. If the enemy besiege us, cut off our victuals, prevent foreign aid, girt in the city, & bring the Ramme to the walls, it is not Cicero's tongue that can pierce their armour to wound the body, nor Archimedes pricks, & lines, & circles, & triangles, & Rhombus, & riff-raff, that hath any force to drive them back. Whilst the one chats, his throat is cut; whilst the other sits drawing Mathematical fictions, the enemy stands with a sword at his breast. He that talketh much, and doth little, is like unto him that sails with a side wind, and is borne with the tide to a wrong shore. If they mean to do any good indeed, bid them follow Demosthenes, and join with Photion: when they have given us good counsel in words, make much of Soldiers, that are ready to execute that same with swords. Be not careless, Plough with weapons by your sides, study with a book in one hand, a dart in the other: enjoy peace, with provision for war: when you have left the sands behind you, look well to the rocks that lie before you: Let not the over coming one Tempest make you secure, but have an eye to the cloud that comes from the South, and threateneth rain: the lest oversight in dangerous Seas may cast you away, the lest discontinuance of Martial exercise give you the foil. When Achilles loitered in his cent, giving ear too Music, his soldiers were bid to a hot breakfast. Hannibal's power received more hurt in one days ease at Capua, then in all the conflicts they had at Cannas. It were not good for us too flatter ourselves with these golden days: high floods have low Ebbs: hot Fevers, could Cramps: Long days short nights; Dry Summers moist Winters: There was never fort so strong, but it might be battered, never ground so fruitful, but it might be barren: never country so populous, but it might be waist: never Monarch so mighty; but he might be weakened: never Realm so large, but it might be lessened: never kingdom so flourishing, but it might be decayed. Scipio before he levied his force too the walls of Carhage, gave his soldiers the print of the City in a cake to be devoured: our enemies with Scipio, have already eaten us with bread, & licked up our blood in a cup of wine. They do but tarry the tide: watch opportunity, and wait for the reckoning, that with the shot of our lives, should pay for all. But that GOD, that neither stumbreth nor sleepeth, for the love of Israel, that stretcheth out his arms from morning to evening to cover his children, (as the Hen doth her chicken with the shadow of her wings) with the breath of his mouth shall overthrow them, with their own snares shall overtake them, & hung them up by the hair of their own devices. Notwithstanding it behoveth us in the mean season, not to stick in the mire, and gape for succour, without using some ordinary way ourselves: or to lie wallowing like Lubbers in the Ship of the common wealth, crying Lord, Lord, when 
Labourers.  we see the vessel coil, but soynely lay our hands and heads, and helps together, to avoid the danger, & save that, which must be the surety of us all. For as to the body, there are many members, serving to several uses, the eye to see, the ear to hear, the nose to smell, the tongue to taste, the hand to touch, the feet to bear the whole burden of the rest, and every one dischargeth his duty without grudging; so should the whole body of the common wealth consist of fellow labourers, all generally serving one head, & particularly following their trade, without repining. From the head to the foot, from the top to the coe, there should nothing be vain, no body idle. jupiter himself shall stand for example; who is ever in work, still moving & turning about the heavens, if he should pull his hand from the frame, it were impossible for the world to endure. All would be day, or all night; All spring, or all Autumn; all Summer, or all winter; All heat or all cold; all moisture, or all brought; No time to till, no time to sow, no time to plant, no time to reap, the earth barren, the rivers stopped, the Seas stayed, the seasons changed, and the whole course of nature over thrown. The mean must labour to serve the mighty, the mighty must study to defend the mean. The subjects must sweated in obedience to their Prince; the Prince must have a care over his poor vassals. If it be the duty of every man in a common wealth, one way or other to bestir his 
Leyterers.  stumps, I cannot but blame those lither contemplators very much, which sit concluding of syllogisms in a corner, which in a close study in the University coop themselves up forty years together studying all things, and profess nothing. The Bell is known by his sound, the Bird by her voice, the Lion by his roar, the Tree by the fruit, a man by his works. To continued so long without moving, to read so much without teaching, what differeth it from a dumb Picture, or a dead body? No man is borne to seek private profit: part for his country, part for his friends, part for himself. The fool that comes into a fair Garden, likes the beauty of flowers, and sticks them in his Cap: the Physician considereth their nature, and puts them in the pot: in the one they whither without profit; in the other they serve to the health of the body: He that readeth good writers, and picks out their flowers for his own nose, is like a fool; he that preferreth their virtue before their sweet smell is a good Physician. When Anacharsis traveled over all Greece, to seek out wise men, he found none in Athens, though no doubt, there were many good scholars there. But coming to Chenas a blind village, in comparison of Athens 
Right Philosophy:  a Paltockes Time; he found one Miso, well governing his house, looking to his ground, instructing his children, teaching his family, making of marriages among his acquaintance, exhorting his neighbours to love, & friendship, & preaching in life, whom, the Philosopher for his scarcity of words plenty of works, accounted the only wise man that ever he saw. I speak not this to prefer Botley before Oxeford, a cottage of clowns, before a College of Muses; Pan's pipe, before Apollo's harp. But to show you that poor Miso can read you such a lecture of Philosophy, as Aristotle never dreamt on. You must not thrust your heads in a tub, & say, Benè vixit, qui benè latuit: He hath lived well, that hath loitred well: standing streams gather filth; flowing rivers, are ever sweet. Come forth with your sickles, the Harvest is great, the labourers few; pull up the sluices, let out your springs, give us drink of your water, light of your torches, & season us a little with the Salt of your knowledge. Let Phoenix and Achilles, Demosthenes & Photion, Pericles & Cimon, Laelius & Scipio, Nigidius and Cicero, the word and the sword be knit together. Set your talents a work, lay not up your treasure for takingrust, teach early & late, in time & out of time, sing with the swan, to the last hour. Follow the dancing Chaplains of Gradiuus Mars, which chant the praises of their god with voices, and tread out the time with their feet. Play the good captains, exhort your soldiers with your tongues to fight, & bring the first ladder to the wall yourselves. Sound like bells, and shine like Lanterns; Thunder in words, and glister in works; so shall you please God, profit your country, honour yourprince, discharge your duty, give up a good account of your stewardship, and leave no sin untouched, no abuse unrebuked, no fault unpunished. Sundry are the abuses aswell of universities as of other places, but they are such as neither become me to touch, nor 
harpers.  every idle head to understand. The Thurines made a Law that no common find fault should meddle with any abuse but Adultery. Pythagoras' bound 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, of Pithago●●●.  all his Scholars to five years silence, that assoon as ever they crept from the shell, they might not aspire to the house top. It is not good for every man too travel to Corinth, nor lawful for all to talk what they list, or writ what they please, lest their tongues run before their wites, or their pens make havoc of their Paper. And so wading too far in other men's manners, whilst they fill their Books with other men's faults, they make their volumes no bettern then an Apothecarics Shop, of pestilent Drugs; a quackesaluers' Budget of filthy receipt; and a huge Chaos of foul disorder. Cooks did never long more for great markets, nor Fishers for large Ponds, nor greedy Dogs for store of game, nor soaring hawks for plenty of fowl, than Carpers do now for copy of abuses, that they might ever be snarling, and have some Flies or other in the way to snatch at. As I would that offences should not be hid, for going unpunished, nor escape without scourge for ill example. So I wish that every rebuker should place a hatch before the door; keep his quill within compass. He that holds not himself contented with the light of the Sun but lifts up his eyes to measure the bigness, is made blind; he that bites every weed to search out his nature, may light upon poison, and so kill himself: he that loves to be lifting of every cloud, may be struck with a thunderbolt, if it chance to rend; & he that taketh upon him to show men their faults, may wound his own credit, if he go too far. We are not angry with the Clerk of the market, if he come to our stall, and reprove our balance when they are faulty, or forfeit our weights, when they are false: nevertheless, if he presume to enter our house, and rig every corner, searching wore then belongs to his office: we lay hold on his locks, tnrne him away with his back full of stripes, and his hands laden with his own amends. Therefore I will content myself to show you no more abuses in my School, than myself have seen, nor so many by hundreds, as I have heard off. lions fold up their natles, when they are in their dens for wearing them in the earth and need not: Eagles draw in their talons as they sit in their nests, for blunting them there among dross: And I will cast Anchor in these abuses, rest my Bark in the simple road, for grating my wits upon needless shelves. And because I accuse other for treading awry, which since I was borne never went right; bet cause I find so many faults abroad, which have at home more spots in my body then the Leopard; morestaines on my coat then the wicked Nessus; more holes in my life then the open Sieve; more sins in my soul than hears on my bed; If I have been tedious in my Lecture, or yourselves be weary of your lessou, hearken no longet for the Clock, shut up the School, and get you home.  
FINIS.   

 

   

¶ To the right honourable Sir Richard Pipe, Knight, Lord Maior of the City of London, and the right worshipful his brethren, continuance of health and maintenance of civil government.  
PERICLES was wont (Right honourable and worshipful) as often as he put on his robes, to preach thus unto himself: Consider well Pericles, what thou dost, thou commandest free men, the greeks obey thee, & thou governest the Citizens of Athens. If you say not so much to yourselves, the gowns that you wear, as the cognisances of authority; and the sword which is carried before you, as the instrument of justice; are of sufficient force to pur you in mind, that you are the masters of free men, that you govern the worshipful Citizens of London, and that you are the very Stewards of her Majesty within your liberties. Therefore sith by mine own experience I have erected a School of those abuses, which I have seen in London, I presume the more upon your pardon, at the end of my Phamphlet to present a few lines to your honourable reading.  
Augustus' the good Emperor of Rome, was never angry with accusers because he thought it necessary (where many abuses flourish) for every man freely to speak his mind. And I hope that Augustus (I mean such as are in authority) will bear with me, because I touch that which is needful to be shown. Wherein I go not about to instruct you how to rule, but to warn you what danger hangs over your heads, that you may avoid it.  
The Bird Trochilus with crashing of her bill awakes the Crocodile, and delivereth her from her enemies, that are ready too charge her in deadesleepe. A little fish swimmeth continnally before the great Whale, to show him the shelves, that he run not a ground: The Elephants, when any of their kind are fallen into the pits, that are made to catch them, thrust in stones and earth to recover them: When the Lion is caught in a trap, Aesop's Mouse by nibbling the cords sets him at liberty. It shall be enough form with Trochilus to have wagged my bill; with the little Fish to have gone before you; with the Elephants to have showed you the way to help yourself; and with Aesop's mouse to have fretted the snares with a biting tooth for your own safety.  
The Thracians when they must pass over frozen streams, send out their Wolves, which laying their cares to the ice, listen for noise: If they hear any thing, they gather that it moves; if it move, it is not congealed; If it be not congealed, it must be liquid; If it be liquid, then will it yield; and if it yield, it is not good trusting it with the weight of their bodies, lest they sink. The world is so slippery, that you are often enforced to pass over Ice. Therefore I humbly beseech you to try farther, & trust less; not your Wolves, but many of your Citizens have already sifted the danger of your passage, and in sifting been swallowed to their discredit.  
I would the abuses of my School were as well known of you, to reformation: as they are fowd out by other to their own peril. But the fish Sepia can trouble the water to shun the nets, that are shot to catch her: Torpedo hath craft enough at the first touch to enchant the hook, to conjure the line, to bewitch the rod, and too benumb the hands of him that angleth. Whether our Players be the Spawns of such fishes, I know not well, yet I am sure that how many nets soever there be laid to take them, or hooks to choke them, they have Ink in their bowels to darken the water; and sleights in their budgets, to dry up the arm of every Magistrate. If their letters of commendations were once stayed, it were easy for you to overthrow them. Agesilaus was greatly rebuked, because in matters of justice, he inclined to his friends and become partial. Plutarch condemneth this kind of writing, Niciam, si nihil admisit noxae; exime; Si quid admisit; mihi exime; omnino autem hominem noxae exime. If Nicias have not offended, meddle not with him: If he be guilty, forgive him for my sake, What soever you do, I charge you acquit him. This enforceth Magistrates like evil Poets to break the feet of their verse, and sing out of tune, and with unskilful Carpenters, to use the Square and the compass, the Rule and the Quadrant, not to build, but to overthrow.  
Bona verba quaeso. Some say that it is not good jesting with edge toll: The athenans will mince Photion as small as flesh to the pot, if they bemad: but kill Demades if they be sober: And I doubt not but the governors of London will vex me for speaking my mind, when they are out of their wits, and banish their Players, when they are best advised.  
In the mean time it behoveth your Honour in your charge, too play the Musician, stretch every string till he break, but set him in order. He that will have the Lamp too burn clear, must aswell power in Oil to nourish the flame, as snuff the Week, to increase the light. If your Honour desire too see the City well governed, you must aswell set to your hand to thrust out abuses, as show yourself willing to have all amended. And (lest I seem one of those idle Mates, which having nothing to buy at home, and less too cell in the market abroad, stand at a both, if it be but to gaze; or wanting work in mine own study, and having no wit to govern Cities, yet busy my brains with your honourable office) I will here end, desiring pardon for my fault, because I am rash; & redress of abuses, because they are nought.  
Your honours etc. to command. Stephan Gosson.   

To the Gentlewomen Citizens of London, Flourishing days with regard of Credit.  
THE reverence that I own you Gentlewomen, because you are Citizens; & the pity wherewith I tender your case, because you are weak; hath thrust out my hand, at the breaking up of my School, to writ a few lines to your sweet selves. Not that I think you to be rebuked, as idle housewives, but commended and encouraged as virtuous Dames. The freest horse, at the wh: ske of a wand, girds forward: The swiftest Hound, when he is hallowed, strips forth: The kindest Mastiff, when he is clapped on the back, fighteth best: The stoutest Soldier, when the Trumpet sounds, strikes fiercest: The gallantest Runner, when the people shout, getteth ground: and the perfectest livers, when they are praised, win greatest credit.  
I have seen many of you which were wont to sport yourselves at theatres, when you perceived the abuse of those places, school yourselves, & of your own accord abhor Plays. And sith you have begun to withdraw your steps, continue so still, if you be chary of your good name. For this is general, that they which show themselves openly, desire to be seen. It is not a soft shoe that healeth the Gout; nor a golden Ring that driveth away the Cramp; nor a crown of Pearl that cureth the Meigrim; nor your sober countenance, that defendeth your credit; nor your friends which accompany your person, that excuse your folly; nor your modesty at home, that covereth your lightness, if you present yourselves in open theatres. Thought is free: you can forbid no man, that vieweth you, to note you, and that noateth you, to judge you, for entering to places of suspicion. Wild Colts; when they see their kind begin to bray; & lusty bloods at the show of fair women, give a wanton sigh, or a wicked wish. Blazing marks are most shot at, glistering faces chiefly marked; and what followeth? Looking eyes, have liking hearts, liking hearts may burn in lust. We walk in the Sun many times for pledsure, but our faces are tanned before we return: though you go to theatres to see sport, Cupid may catch you ere you depart. The little God hovereth about you, & fanneth you with his wings to kindle fire: when you are set as fixed whites, Desire draweth his arrow to the head, & sticketh it up to the feathers, and Fancy bestirreth him too shed his poison through every vain. If you do but listen to the voice of the Fouler, or join looks with an amorous Gazer, you have already made yourselves assaultable, & yielded your Cities to be sacked. A wanton eye is the dart of Shafalus, where it leveleth, thereit lighteth; & where it hits, it woundeth deep. If you give but a glance to your beholders, you have veiled the bonnet in token of obedience: for the bolt is fallen ere the Air clap; the Bullet paste, ere the Piece crack; the cold taken, ere the body shiver; and the match made, ere you strike hands.  
To avoid this discommodity, Cyrus refused to look upon Panthea, And Alexander the great on Darius' wife. The sick man that relesheth nothing, when he seeth some about him feed apace, and commend the taste of those dishes which he refused, blames not the meat, but his own disease: And I fear you will say, that it is no ripe judgement, but a raw humour in myself, which makes me condemn the resorting to Plays; because there come many thither, which in your opinion suck no poison, but feed heartily without hurt; therefore I do very ill to reject that which other like, and complain still of mine own malady.  
In deed I must confess there comes to Plays of all sorts, old and young; it is hard to say that all offend, yet I promise' you, I will swear for none. For the driest flax flameth soonest; & the greenest wood smoketh most; grey heads have green thoughts; and young slips are old twigs. Beware of those places, which in sorrow cheer you, and beguile you in mirth. You must not cut your bodies to your garments, but make your gowns fit to the proportion of your bodies; nor fashion yourselves, to open spectacles, but tie all your sports to the good disposition of a virtuous mind. At Diceplay, every one wisheth to cast well; at Bowls every one craves to kiss the master; at running every one starteth to win the goal; At shooting every one strives to hit the mark; and will not you in all your pastimes and recreations seek that which shall yield you most profit & greatest credit? I will not say you are made to toil, & I dare not grant that you should be idle. But if there be peace in your houses, and plenty in your coffers, let the good precept of Xenophon be your exercise: in all your ease and prosperity, remember God, that he may be mindful of you, when your hearts groan, and secure you still in the time of need. Be ever busied in godly meditations: seek not to pass over the gulf with a tottering plank that will deceive you. When we cast off our best clotheses, we put on rags; when our good desires are once laid aside, wantonwil begins to prick. Being pensive at home, if you go to theatres to drive away fancies, it is as good Physic, as for the ache of your head too knock out your brains; or when you are stung with a Wasp, to rub the sore with a Nettle. When you are grieved, pass the time with your neighbours in sober conference, or if you can read, let Books be your comfort. Do not imitate those foolish Patientes, which having sought all means of recovery, and are never the near, run unto Witchcraft. If your grief be such, that you may not disclose it, and your sorrow so great, that you loath to utter it, look for no salve at Plays ortheaters, jest that labouring to shun Sylla you light on Charybdis; to for sake the deep you perish in sands; to ward a light stripe, you take a death's wound; and to leave Physic, you flee to enchanting. You need not go abroad to be tempted, you shall be enticed at your own windows. The best counsel that I can give you, is to keep home, & shun all occasion of ill speech. The virgins of Vest a were shut up fast in stone walls to the same end. You must keep your sweet faces from scorching in the sun, chapping in the wind, and warping with the weather, which is best performed by staying within. And if you perceive yourselves in any danger at your own doors, either alured by courtesy in the day, or assaulted with Musics in the night; Close up your eyes, stop your ears, tie up your tongues; when they speak, answer not; when they hallow, stoop not; when they sigh, laugh at them; when they sue, scorn them; Shun their company, never be seen where they resort; so shall you neither set them props, when they seek to climb; nor hold them the sturrop, when they proffer to mount.  
These are hard lessons which I teach you; nevertheless, drink up the potion, though it like not your taste, and you shall be eased; resist not the Surgeon, though he strike in his knife, and you shall be cured. The Fig tree is sour, but it yieldeth sweet fruit; Thymus is bitter, but it giveth Honey; my School is tart, but my co●●●● is pleasant, if you embrace it. Shortly I hope to sand out the Ephemerides of P●●●●● by whom if I see you accept this) I will give you one dish for your own tooth. Farewell.  
Yours to serve at Virtues call. Stephan ●osson.