PYRGOMACHIA; Vel potius, PYGOMACHIA. OR, In clean English, THE CASTLE-COMBAT. Performed; by JAMES FENCER, and WILLIAM WRESTLER. At nine of the clock of the night of the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord King CHARLES. Recorded By the ninth of the mine Muses, in the ninth part of nine Weeks: and divided into nine Files.  
LONDON, Printed for ROBERT MILBOURNE. 1635.   

The Combat is thus ranged into Files, or Orders.  
File 1. The Place, and Climate.  
2. The Quarrel, and Vapour.  
3. The Challenge, and Resolution.  
4. The Field, and March.  
5. The Search, and Sadness.  
6. The Encounter, and Weapon.  
7. The Parley, and Parting.  
8. The Retreat, and Triumph.  
9 The Reward, and Honour.   

THE CASTLE-COMBAT.  

PROLOGUS.  

MY Muse the fights of puling Gnats,  
The strifes of leather-winged Batts,  
The Duels 'twixt the Weazells and the Rats  
Rejecteth:   

She mounts on Pegasaean wings,  
And, streining up her vocal strings,  
To sing of Worthies, not of Chitter ling,  
Affecteth.   

With any slight Pygmaean Elf,  
Or such poor base aejected pelf  
She scorns below to creep, and crawls, herself  
Bemudding;   

But chants of Champion's Grandiside,  
As tall, as big, as long, as wide,  
Whose stomaches are as piping hot, being tried,  
As Pudding.   

Assist ye Heliconian Train,  
Pour out your liquors on my brain:  
That I may utter from a flowing vein  
Sad dangers.   

Help Phoebus. One's a friend of thine.  
For he sells 
a His wine for the most part is thunder-stricken.  Aganippine Wine,  
And hangs a soaring 
b The Falcon still flying hard by the Castle, and preying upon many a peasant.  Bird out for a Sign  
To strangers.    

FILE I.  
The Place, and Climate.  

IT much behoves (as Sages tell)  
To know where great, or wise men dwell,  
And where their Virtues, and exploits befell.  
Renowned.   

Among the 
c Essex, id est, East Saxons.  Saxons of the East,  
There hath been many a Nobles nest,  
And Roman Garrisons of yore did rest  
Entowned:   

Who there did fix their foot so long,  
They left some spawn of courage strong:  
Which, being spread the Natives all among,  
Is fruitful.   

Hence is it, that so many are  
Or fighters in the Forts of war,  
Or with their Neighbours strive in Courts of jar,  
Still suitfull.   

Within this Climate, on that ground,  
Where Hop-crop hopes are (mostly) sound,  
A village stands, which fresh-sprung 
a A river risi●… not above fo●… miles from th●… town, on the North side.  Coln doth bound,  
And border.   

'twas bravely governed, while by it  
Great 
b The Earl of Oxford.  Oxford in his tower did sit.  
Alas! now 
c A strong compound of two easy simples.  Constable-Church warden wit  
Keeps order.   

It had of old a Market day,  
Until the Charter crept away:  
Yet love by tale is daily sold (they say)  
By many.   

They follow busy legal strife:  
And yet Profession is their life,  
And in good works (for sooth) they are as rife,  
As any.   

For who, but they, could plot so well  
Four superstitious 
d These Bells do roar to th● day at St. Edmund's Bury, i● lamentation of their exile from their native soil.  Bells to sell?  
One left doth ring a solitary knell.  
I'th' Steeple.   

The Chancel hath a School-house been,  
Where boys have shown their penal skin,  
The sniveling Clerk doth line 
* 〈◊〉 singing the 〈◊〉  by line begin  
Toth' people.   

The greater part are deft precise  
I'th' nose, and lips, and ears, and eyes,  
And in conceit, & language wondrous wise:  
Yea truly.   

Some others, on the other hand,  
Are of the rash-swash-fellowes band,  
And may be well proclaimed, if duly scanned,  
Unruly.   

Not that it is wild wanton waist  
Of wine, to take a short repast.  
A modest Muse sometime may sipp a taste  
Of Claret.   

But helter skelter drawing deep  
Till reason wink, and play bo peepe,  
Till roaring rage rude revel-rout do keep:  
O bar it.   

On both hands here (& where, where not?)  
Are seen some faults. 'Tis humane lot.  
My pens black soap in scouring them may blot  
A little.   

The Town is viewed. You ask the name  
I call it only Heningam.  
For now what needs prefixing to the same  
The title?    

FILE II.  
The Quarrel and Vapour.  

Here valiant james with Billy met:  
At juice of Bacchus both were set,  
Till Jocky's pot-sowsed brain was soaking wet  
With liquor.   

With more good fellows in that throng,  
They quaffed, & trouled the wine bowls strong,  
When jovial Jockey grew in wit and tongue  
The quicker.   

He 'gan to vaunt, and trumpet out,  
And blaze his Martial acts so stout,  
And famous Combats, he had bravely fought  
With Mighties;   

And said, his manifold renown's  
Were witnessed by all hills and downs,  
And all the fairs, and greatest market towns,  
And cities.   

As big, as he, did Billy look,  
(As good a man) and could not brook  
His mountain-termes, but him to task betook,  
And girded;   

Thou Braggadocio; thou (quoth he)  
Dar'st thou do any thing with me?  
thouart nothing but tongue-courage, now I see,  
To word it:   

You brag, and boast, and make such cracks  
To us, of your exploits, and acts,  
As if we did not know of your great facts  
At weapon.   

'tis but thy trick thus in a house  
All-man; to let thy tongue run loose:  
But in the field, thou dar'st not face a Goose,  
Or Capon.   

At these terms Elephantine James,  
With his two arms (like Polyphemes)  
Pot-fashion by his side, (from's nostril streams  
A vapour)   

Sets his Official 
* A black lea●…r generous 〈◊〉 which he ●…ares, because ●…e will march ●●der the colour an Officer.  Cap upright;  
Stands like a Steeple tip-toe-height;  
At Billy puffs, as he had been as light,  
As paper.   

Thou fight with me? thou Campingball?  
By this 
* He gives th●… surname to his Beard, when h● strokes it with an oath most gravely.  Cathedral beard, I shall  
Slice thee to shreds, and chippifie thee small,  
As Chaff old:   

I tell you, Sauce, I scorn to flout,  
But thou shalt find me true, and stout;  
Before K. James, I James his namesake fought  
Oth' Scaffold;   

For when the great Mogul came o'er,  
And challenged all on England's shore,  
My Country's Credit had for evermore  
Been undone;   

Had I not entertained him there,  
At sharp, before both Prince, and Peer,  
And sent him homeward with a flea in's ear  
From London.   

When I did serve great Buckingham,  
A lozel rascal at me came,  
With his long fork, & laid on with the same  
Devoutly;   

But I, that never knew dismay,  
Drew my short blade, and spoiled his play,  
Struck up his heels, and took his tools away  
Most stoutly;   

The Duke's acquaintance than I grew,  
Who ever since that time me knew.  
You cannot choose but know this to be true:  
'Tis voiced so   

A great reward to me he gave,  
For this exploit performed so brave:  
But from his office turned away the knave  
Deboyced so.   

When thou art challenged to a place,  
Thou dar'st not look a foe i'th' face,  
But hangest an erse; and like a Coward base  
Dost linger:   

But see the wounds, the scars, and blows,  
This Corpse hath had, by devilish foes;  
See one, for many; and with that he shows  

c In a cowardly ●…uffle the mid●e finger of his ●●ght hand (vulgarly called the ●…les finger) was 〈◊〉 off; which often showeth for an ho●●…urable Character of va●●r, and vows 〈◊〉 this trick he ●●ll never keep ●…ares again; 〈◊〉 they (as he ●●es) bit off 〈◊〉 fatal fin●●.  No-finger;   

When half a score at least, I ween,  
Fell on me, with their Falchion's keen,  
With Roman resolution I have been  
The first on't;   

And laid about me strokes so smart,  
That galled the Rascals to the heart,  
And gave them all ere they and I did part  
The worst on't:   

Know Sr; that for my courage bold,  
I did the place of Martial hold;  
To a worthy Knight, my name stands there enroled,  
No Peasant;   

And when to Scotland Charles our King,  
On progress went, but for one thing,  
I'd gone the voyage with that roy all ring  
Most pleasant;   

St Edmond Bury never fails,  
To give james honour, since with Hailes,  
I played that prize ('tis known these are no tales  
I tell ye)   

For while the Varlet made much chat,  
That he could do, I know not what,  
I made his heels to mount; and laid him flat  
On's Belly;   

Yet fairly then I let him rise,  
To feast Spectators, with a prize  
Of james' playing. At me hot he flies,  
But shuffled   

Then I, for all his pelting rage,  
Did quickly turn him off the Stage;  
james has the day, cried all the equipage  
Oth' Scaffold;   

Hundreds came in me to embrace:  
And happy he could have the grace  
To get a look from conquering Jamees face,  
To talk on:   

And as I went along the street,  
The boys were ready me to meet,  
And strew green rushes underneath my feet  
To walk on.   

Gaites, 
* One of the Guard; as james reporteth.  at New-market Court did dare  
To strike brave James a box o'th' ear:  
But I soon put him in a Panic fear  
For's error;   

Like Hercules that Giant fell,  
When he drew Cerb'rus out of Hell,  
I dragged him roaring from his lurking cell,  
In terror;   

For down the stairs I strait did pull,  
Spite of his nose, the saucy Gull,  
The while he cried, and bellowed like a Bull,  
For pardon.   

Tothth' Presence-Chamber then the slave  
I brought: There pity he to crave  
Fell down on's knees; while I stood like a grave  
Churchwarden;   

And whilst my breast with wrath was filled;  
For half an how'r, and more he kneeled  
To me; beseeching I would please to yield  
Some mercy:   

My Lords, for him did interceded;  
That I would pardon his bold deed;  
(Sure his long kneeling on his joints did breed  
The farcy)   

Yet I a Challenge him did write,  
If he with me could dare to fight,  
To meet me at the 
* A long dry trench on New-market heath.  devil's ditch; but tri't  
He would not.   

For known it was, the Court about,  
I had fou'r mighty Duels fought;  
That with a whole skin come off safe; he thought  
He could not.   

This Wife I have, and the other too,  
When they my valour once did know,  
Were taken with me, cause I slashed it so  
Profoundly;   

And should jugg dye; before the Spring,  
I yet could have a dainty thing;  
That me a hundred pound a year would bring;  
And roundly.   

Let james but ride through any town,  
In all this Kingdom; james is known,  
By all good Fellows, living up and down  
The County.   

To welcome me, 
f This welcome ●as bestowed ●…n james in ●●…dleigh in suffolk by one descended from be line of Mars.  one pawns his Mare;  
Another doth a Goose prepare;  
Another his best Sack doth pierce, and share,  
With bounty.   

When thou in London walkest, forlorn,  
The Carmen thee to greet do scorn;  
Uncouth thou goest to evening from the morn  
With sorrow;   

The great Lord Mayor, if he see  
My noted person, speaks to me;  
Come James, and welcome, dine with us he saith  
To morrow;   

There's ne'er a Lord about the Court,  
But I to him have free resort,  
And boldly speak in earnest, or in sport  
My pleasure;   

Let any Lawyer see but me,  
Though he be taking of a fee;  
My sight will make him instantly to be  
At leisure:   

Most of the Gentry in the Land,  
Whom I with feats of Arms have maned,  
Still call me Master, lead me by the hand  
To dinner.   

I tell thee (Boy) my conquering sword,  
Hath made me generally adored,  
More than befits (now I speak this proud word  
A sinner.   

This man doth talk, as he were wild,  
(Quoth Will) we know you are no child;  
Were not you he, that once 
* This was Granger Sewster of Ashwel in Herfordshire, accounted a notable duelist, whom james in a combat so fiercely pursued, that he ran into a Hogs-coat.  a roister foiled  
In Pigscote?   

In my conceit (nor do I feign)  
Had you but met him, you had slain,  
In Duel that victorious Knight of Spain  
Don Quixot.   

Were I a Fencer though, like thee,  
To let one baste, and cudgel me,  
And then arrest him for a Battery,  
Would shame me:   

He cried you mercy for the harm,  
But who was it his hands did charm?  
The arm of justice, not the vengeful arm  
Of jamy.   

The fame, and fume of you is blown,  
(I know't) all over Bury town,  
That dainty trick of tayle-strong james is known  
To all men:   

An hasty pudding once you laid  
In your Friend's shirt; and then afraid  
took to your heels; in that you cleanly played  
The tall man;   

Beside you played the man, and ha'fe,  
When 
* Harry Smith  Harry with a walking staff  
Did baste your buff-skin; then did you come off  
With credit:   

Or then, when 
* john Sewell of Halsted.  john (you well know where)  
Struck up your heels, and laid you there  
Disarmed; than you did the deed, if e'er  
You did it.    

FILE III.  
The Challenge; and Resolution.  

IAmes to the bottom stirred, a score  
Of teeth doth grate at him, and more;  
And with a Demi-cannon oath doth roar  
Like thunder;   

Flies at him like a Tyget fierce,  
His very visage, sharp, did pierce  
Like vinegar; the rest could keep them scarce  
Asunder;   

Tell'st thou me (Dogs-nose) in this wise,  
That I was baffled once, or twice  
By Hal, and Jack? Thou whoreson Cockatrice,  
Thou Camel;   

This foot of vengeance here shall kick  
Thy guts out; send thy soul down quick  
To hell; or make thee fawn upon me, like  
A Spaniel.   

Will, not so wordy was; but needs  
He would with James have been at deeds;  
Strike slave (qd. he) I'll beat thee small, as weeds  
To porridge.   

Meet me (quoth Jockey) if thou dare;  
(Quoth Billy) I will, any where,  
To morrow morning: I do scorn to fear  
Thy courage.   

To morrow? If thou dar'st to night:  
For thou shalt never see daylight;  
Besides, in day time, my swords glittering sight  
Will fright thee:   

Had I a weapon here, 
c 〈◊〉 Iames●rovided ●rovided, ●●rell be●… his house.  as thou,  
Since th'u'rt so hot on't; I would go,  
(Quoth Will) to night, and make thee dearly know  
I slight thee.   

Is that thy way to shift? (quoth he)  
I'll lend thee 
d ●●mes, who ●●nd is still, ●●ockt with ●…ons in his ●●e.  one, to fight with me:  
Thou, & such friends shall have that courtesy  
And favour;   

With that he fetch't two Bilbo blades  
Hand-broad; they would have digged like spades,  
And served pioneers in their earthen trades  
To labour.   

Was it your fortune e'er to eye,  
The tools of Bevis, or Sr. Guy?  
Such were these blades, with which stern james would try  
The Duel.   

Nor could the company persuade,  
With all entreats; and reasons aid,  
james, fierce, and furious, resolute, unstayd,  
And cruel;   

Sirrah (he roars) mark what james saith,  
Ask me forgiveness while thoust breath;  
Or else I'll make thee with a doleful death  
To rue it.   

First, I will Cullendrize with holes,  
Thy Bull-thick hide, so good for soles;  
Then slice thee thin, as rashers on the coals,  
Or suet:   

Thy head I'll from thy shoulders take,  
And of thy Scull a pisspot make:  
And that same tongue, that now so much doth crack,  
I'll smoak it;   

Which I for startup heels will wear:  
Thy brains, I'll pickle in dead beer,  
Or sourest hogwash; Mark my words, and fear,  
I've spoke it;   

Then will I souse thy cheeks and ears,  
Provant for hungry Customers,  
When they come here, to wash away their 
e When t●●… are Maudi●… drunk.  tears  
With Flagons:   

Thy Flesh I'll slice in several parts,  
And have it tried by Kitchen arts  
For greazing-stuffe, to liquor wheels of carts,  
And wagons.   

Thy thread, poor Billy, now is spun:  
For e'er that I with thee have done,  
I'll hew thee small, as Atoms in the Sun,  
Or powder;   

Or make thee run away most base,  
Or yield thy weapon in the place,  
And say thoust been before thy betters face  
Too proud here.   

Dost thou so well provide for me?  
Mark how I have disposed of thee,  
(Quoth Will) and tremble: for of certainty  
I'll do it;   

When I have hacked, and hewed thy  
Tun-carkass, and thy Ghost let fly  
Out of that Carrion-dungeon, thus will I  
Bestow it;   

I'll cut thy head off by the neck,  
And make thy scull a Standard peck;  
(For 'tis a large one;) and a chain shall deck  
The vessel.   

Those black locks from that pate I'll tear,  
And have them woven for a hair  
To dry my 
* Which are 〈◊〉 plentiful that town; 〈◊〉 William a ●●…pmaster.  Hops; thy arms & legs shall rear  
A tressel.   

That Nose of thine I'll give some Smith,  
To serve him for a horn, where with  
To give jades medicines, through their haltered teeth,  
And drenches;   

That Face I on a Crotch will raise  
A ghastly Vizard; Pies and jays  
To scare from plumtrees; or to fright young boys  
And wenches:   

Then from thy flesh I'll draw thy hide,  
And have it throughly tanned, and dried  
Whit-lether-like; thy trunk will I divide  
To parcels;   

And with thy flesh I'll cram my 
a Of which cattle William keeps many.  dogs,  
Thy paunch, and guts I'll give my 
b Which are appurteinances to William's house, being a Farmer;  hogs,  
which they shall draw, about the moors & 
c Of which, many border upon that Town.  bogs  
In morsels;   

Thy bones at scales the Boys shall tear,  
Or (cause they full of 
d For james' terrestrial body by this time was in Motu trepidationis.  shaking are)  
I'll have them cut out, into dice six-square,  
To play with;   

That tongue of thine will I confer,  
Upon some Almanac-maker;  
Some bragging Soldier, or some Traveller,  

e In which trade james is a great dealer.  To lie with.   

Thus blustering in confronting terms,  
Sworn to each other's deadly harms,  
To hack, and hew, hands, legs, heads, sides, and arms,  
And haunches;   

With just as much of wit, as sight,  
They through the darkness of the night,  
Went out, with their high stomaches filled up quite,  
And paunches.    

FILE IU.  
The Field; and March.  

A Field there is; wherein doth stand  
A Castle, now lack-dawed; not maned;  
And sooth never by a humane hand  
Erected;   

For old King Coël (tales do tell)  
When first he built that Warlike Cell,  
Consulted with the smoky Powers of Hell  
Collected:   

This King was tall; 
* At Colchester in the High street he is set forth in a small volume, or Epitome, to save excessive expense of timber; or because dwarf Coenl is strong enough to guard a Pump.  Gygantick vast,  
His foot was of the largest last;  
'Tis everlasting; I have summed, and cast  
The measure;   

A Yard in Longitude, no more,  
Twelve Inches broad: Upon the Tower,  
O'th'Leads you still may see the shape at your  
Own pleasure;   

His Leg was correspondent. Some  
Affirm, his Boots did hold a Coome:  
This King in such a deal of Leathern room  
Did trample.   

'Tis said, some broken Cobbling wretch,  
To set up's trade, them home did fetch,  
Nor did the Leather to his Conscience stretch  
So ample;   

A many rumours old, and new,  
And, I think, more believed, than true,  
Are blazed abroad of this great King. Did you  
ne'er hear it?   

Like Hawk, or Buzzard at his game,  
This King could fly in th'air (says fame)  
James will not only justify the same,  

* Furthermore he will tell you of a man in this Town of 105 years old, who heard King Coël cry Dad Dad in his mother's belly.  But swear it;   

Whither he flew in th'air, or no,  
I'm sure he dived very low  
Into the earth, how deep no man doth know;  
T's'admired;   

Yet this may be concluded, by  
His fabrigs deep groundwork; if fly  
He could not; yet at least he very high  
Aspired:   

Besides by Black-art, like a Mole,  
He under ground did work a 
f Rumour runneth, that this vault runneth under ground from thence to Colchester.  hole:  
Wherese're his corpse is, I think yet his soul  
Doth haunt it;   

By which he had a ready way  
To play the Cater; and convey  
For all his Soldier's food enough, ere they  
Did want it;   

For when the Danes had overrun  
The Land, this Fort they set upon,  
Resolved to slay, or ever they had done,  
Or starve them;   

But through this vault there was such store  
Of 
g Which they brought underground from Colchester.  victuals brought, that they threw o'er  
Food to the Foe; and, if they needed more,  
They'd serve them:   

Long long hath stood this strong built Tower,  
And (as the Fates have told john Gower)  
Vn-undone shall it stand yet many an hour,  
Though tattered;   

The Walls, with open mouths, do speak  
Against the mattocks, that still seek  
The ruin of it, and long since did break  
And battered;   

So that in stead of Majesty,  
Now only Seniority  
It justly claims, yet still it looks as 
a Two of t●● Turrets still r●maine in the first top-galla●… height, thou●… other parts b● defaced.  high  
As ever;   

Whiles all the hammer's spiteful strokes,  
And fierce malicious fangs of hooks,  
Do what they can, pull down these stately looks  
Shall never;   

The Tower is girded with a Wall;  
In fashion of a Varthingale  
Upon a hill, begotten of a vale  
Below it;   

This Hill by 
b Which Circular.  figure doth declare,  
The Tower hath stood long out of square;  
The pie ' balled prospect of the walls so bare  
Can show it.   

Here, what the Danes could never do,  
The Daws have done, and wrought into  
The walls and chambers of it; And now who  
But they there?   

The house fee-simple is their own,  
For them; their heirs; there they alone  
Can build, can gossip, strut it up, and down,  
And play there.   

Here many tall Ghost's walk: 'tis thought  
King Coël wanders still about,  
Sometimes within the vault, sometimes without,  
At's pleasures;   

And here, in dull Night's sullen shade,  
(Because the Circle's ready made)  
The lightfoot Fairies, dance the rounds, and tread  
The measures;   

And in the Moonlight nights have been  
Hobgoblins Robin goodfellows seen,  
With lights: and noises have been heard o'th' green  
Of talking;   

And other visions strike with fear  
Folk going by: yea sure there were  
That night, Goodfellows, when those two were there  
Awalking:   

These Champions hither marched forthright,  
To scare the Devil in the night,  
And Fairies from their round-abouts affright  
With horror.   

Now may you by this time suppose  
These two are at it very close,  
With dashing, clashing, banging, bumming, blows  
Of terror;   

For having stripped themselves, their skin  
Each th'other showed, so far as seen  
By night they could be, and at distance, then,  
Fell to it;   

And laid on load with might, and main,  
Let who's would take it off again,  
What there was done, would ask no little pain  
T'undo it.    

FILE V.  
The Search, and Sadness.  

BUt (oh) conceive what griefs, what kind  
Of woes, possessed us all behind;  
For these two whetted spirits. Words, & wind  
Expressed it;   

We sigh't, we groaned, as hart would burst,  
Care in our cups made us a thirst:  
That season, and their tameless fury, worst  
Molested;   

For (note ye) when such stomaches grew,  
At variance, and to weapons flew,  
There must perforce of consequence ensue  
A slaughter.   

O dismal night, like that of Troy:  
O lamentable-following day,  
That must the fate of both, or one bewray  
Hereafter.   

Brave Caesar's, and great Pompey's might;  
Fierce Hector, and Achilles fight,  
Must come behind this, that befalls this night  
Thus sadly;   

For by transparent beams of Day,  
Those could observe each others play;  
But these run desperate, to a blindfold fray  
Most madly:   

Thus forth we wander, where we guess  
Them hurried by their furiousness,  
To stop, or spy them, as eye-witnesses,  
Thus falling;   

But (oh) the fate of Darkness! Night  
Our Optic sense had sealed up quite;  
That now, more sad we walk along, the fight  
Bewailing.   

Our eyes can do no good (we say)  
If all our senses in the way  
Do fail us too, then must the light of day  
Discover:   

Still rambled we the fields a round  
In grievous plight, and nothing found;  
No hope was offered, but in vain much ground  
Past over.    

FILE VI.  
The Encounter, and Weapon.  

AT last behold here how one sense  
Supplies his friend's deficience,  
(Were it by any happy providence,  
Or fortune)   

As to the Castle near we grew,  
Where these two forth their tackling drew,  
Unhoped for objects did our sense anew  
Importune.   

For presently a fresh we met  
A fume, that did our noses fret,  
And piercing to our hearts did them beset  
With dull fear.   

Oh! foh! (says one) my nostrils find  
We have Gunpowder in the wind:  
Thus fumes Saltpetre when it is calcined  
With sulphur.   

Another cries: O heavy lot!  
Sure they have guns, or Pistols got,  
And mutually let fly their deadly shot,  
Which vapours.   

But strait we found it, that the smell,  
Though but ill-favoured, favoured well  
For them. With them worse had by guns befell,  
Or Rapiers;   

For we (concluding to have seen  
Or both, or one upon the green  
lie dead, or maimed by Gun, or Falchion keen  
With fight)   

So far as eye a sight could gain,  
See them with backsides might and main,  
Like darting Porcupines, (to tell you plain)  
Ash—   

Lo in this wise, these Champions twain  
Together did their utmost strain.  
Much there was shed: but neither of them slain,  
No truly.   

Sure much was shed all o'er the grass.  
For all, which by next day did pass,  
By signs did see what dreary fight there was  
But newly:   

We puffed and snuffed, and peered about:  
Still, still these Fencers flashed it out,  
And buckling to't like strong-tayled Lions fought,  
Hard striking.   

In each was oped a postern wound:  
Of bouncing Echo did rebound,  
The strokes they dung against the suffering ground,  
All reaking.    

FILE VII.  
The Parley, and Parting.  

AT this discovery, joyed; 
* This Council was not Cowardly, but Cleanly.  Sirs; yet  
Le's not, while they are in the heat,  
Come in the dint; lest some sour mark we get  
Not pleasing.   

At length we closed with them, and felt,  
(Yet warily) these whom we smelled.  
Come worthy Champions you have bravely dealt:  
Be ceasing:   

This is a newfound Martial trick,  
To fight at tail, whiles others strike  
At head, at throat, at breast, at belly, like  
Mad wretches.   

With night, and rage, they are o'ergone,  
And so they be mistake (says 
* johannes de Atocha, a Scholar then in the company.  john)  
And for their doublets, thus have they undone  
Their 
b 'Twas (doubtless) lest they should wrong them through the approaching fight.  breeches.   

Who ere comes here, to judge the close,  
Without th'imployment of a Nose,  
Must pass no verdict of the strongest blows  
I'th' Duel:   

Well, Sirs I think you'll be content,  
Now you have given your Stomaches vent;  
The fire of ire will vanish, now y'have spent  
The Fuel;   

Put up, then; let's have no foul play:  
Let all this gear be wiped away;  
I hope there is no hurt done in the fray  
To neither.   

Or if you be so fierce and fell,  
That with your Blades, you yet will deal,  
Then cut this vapour-thickned air, and smell  
Together.    

FILE VIII.  
The Retreat, and Triumph.  

IAmes shuffling up his pipes (quoth he)  
Will, at this game's too hard for me;  
I'll be for this, till I make even with thee,  
Thy debtor.   

But Will with james would yet have fought;  
Not now (quoth james) my anger's out;  
And heat quite over: let's go drink about;  
That's better.   

Give me thy hand (if it be clean:)  
Both are by this the better men;  
I'll ne'er fall out with thee (Brave boy) again  
Hereafter.   

But whensoe'er thou dost desire,  
I'll stand by thee a friend entire,  
And venture this same head, through sword, & fire,  
And water.   

Why should we two, we two old friends  
Bring one another to our ends?  
Death soon enough without a sword will send's  
To ashes.   

Say we are hurt, say we are killed:  
Had we not better thus to yield,  
Than lie here dead, or wounded in the field  
With slashes?   

Say fight Credit to us gave:  
Can Credit cure a cut? can't save  
A leg? shall we (if lamed) by Credit have  
Our keeping?   

I've thirty years a Fencer been,  
A thousand fights have fought, or seen,  
I ne'er could find but in a whole sound skin  
Best sleeping:   

Since I discretion had, 't hath stood  
My resolution, 'tis not good,  
To be thus prodigal of guiltless blood  
With fooling:   

And they that have such spirits high flown,  
And are so hot, and bloody grown,  
One day may come unto their cutting down,  
And cooling:   

Will, Will, consider; we have souls,  
We have not lives like Cats, or Owls:  
We sans remorse have bangd the burning bowls  
A long space;   

O woe! 'Tis dangerous fight now;  
For if we should be slain, I trow,  
Our ghosts i'th' dark may miss their mark, and go  
To th'wrong place.   

Thus James agreed it: and ('tis said)  
Though most enraged, and unstaid,  
He first the other wholesome motion made  
Of stinking.   

Well, friends they were, & came down right  
All to the Tavern, where they quite  
Washed all away with wine, & soaked the night  
With drinking:   

For rending open the Cellar 
a For jug in 〈◊〉 fussian fume, o● fusty fear ha●● locked up door, & convered her se●… and her keys t●… their night's rest  door,  
A good Sack 
b By james hi● own epotativ●… words, half a Hogshead  Tierce they turned o'er,  
For joy so sweetly they had 'scaped so 
c Potius sowr●…  sore  
A battle:   

Healths thick and three fold to the wounds,  
That ne'er were made, they drunk in rounds;  
The old banged quart pots (never past their 
d Of measure.  bounds  
Did rattle.    

FILE IX.  
The Reward, and Honour.  

IVdge Reader, how this place became  
So stout a Blade, as brave Sir James.  
Ought not this fight to be enrolled by Fame,  
To last here?   

He is a man of mighty heart,  
And practised well, to play his part  
With greatest skill, Professor in his art,  
And Master.   

Sure when old Coel there did reign,  
His Tower never did maintain  
So brave a Lad, in all his martial Train  
For valour;   

Nor was so hot a fight by Danes,  
Whiles they encamped on those plains;  
Nor so deep charge with such tempestuous strains  
Of choler:   

What man soe'er with Jockey fights,  
When he into that humour lights,  
Had need be watchful, expert, quick in slights,  
Not slothful:   

For, if he looks not better to't,  
And keep his chaps most surely shut,  
He may not only have his hands full, but  
His mouth full.   

O were the Castle in repair,  
My Jockey should some Office bear,  
Of Master-Gunner, or at leastwise there  
Of Porter:   

Then if a Cannon's bellowing blast  
The wall had bored through, or raced,  
He soon might daub the breach up with a cast  
Of mortar.   

And then all foes I would advise,  
To keep away (if they be wise)  
From Jockie's Bum-shot, lest with loss of eyes  
They rue it.   

All 
a The neighbouring Inhabitants of Castle-Heningham.  you that spy there in your way  
The Monument of that sad fray,  
By adding 
b Viz. dissolving your ligaments; and imitating these Combetants.  stuff, to keep it from decay,  
Renew it.   

No charge, great ease will you befall,  
The pains of portage is but small.  
Unload your native dung-cart: that is all,  
In sadness.   

This field may prove (manured so well)  
An Hop-yard: big those Hops will swell,  
And bear away at 
* Surely then will sell for ●igher price under the name of The gilded Hops of He●ingham.  Sturbridge fair the Bell  
For fatness.   

If any reading this my News,  
Shall think that I with lies abuse  
My Champion Jockey, and my jocund Muse  
To feign them;   

Out of your way ride but a mile,  
And call, and talk with James awhile;  
And he himself, will in an ample style  
Maintain them.   

What if you lose a mile, or twain?  
As wise, to see a sight as plain,  
Have stepped aside, nor of their pains, as vain,  
Repent.   

Here you not only shall behold  
Sights, signs, but hear strange wonders told,  
And many a score of more Adventures bold  
Out-vented;   

And Wine, and Welcome still your fill;  
And jests, and news too, what you will:  
For he's more full, than is my dropping quill,  
Of Story:   

You'll ne'er repent of any cost,  
Or time, to see so brave an Host,  
Of sight of whom you may for ever boast,  
And glory.    

Epilogus.  

HOld Muse: the Combat finished is;  
The Foes are Friends again, I wis:  
It may be I shall dearly pay for this  
Thy laughter.   

And Reader, list awhile and hear:  
John Gower is 
* William●●ke ●●ke a Wrestler, took him by the Collar with a Process in April last passed.  sued, and must appear:  
If this suit hold, the Progress he'll declare  
Hereafter.   

His Proctor entertained in May,  
To answer what the foe shall say,  
A prosperous Gale (I hope) will find fair way  
In sailing.   

What Defamation here can lie  
Against a Poet's industry,  
Who feigneth not, but writes true History  
Sans railing?   

Yet Jockey doth at him so vex,  
That he in rage cries, Currat Lex;  
Resolved by cunning of his Lawish tricks  
To shrieve him:   

But sure this Case (so all men think)  
The more it stirs, the worse 'twill stink:  
Astraea, Phoebus, lest your Gower shrink,  
Relieve him.   
Johannes Gower.    

To the High-spirited, heroick-hearted, Stout-stomackt, bold-brested, cruel-couraged: Hypseloglotticall, Rhetorologicall, Archinoeticall; Invincible, Victorious, worthy, noble, generous, Sr james, Grand-possessor, and Professor, as well Oenopoliall of the rarest, fairest, dearest, Pomperkin, Hullock, Mellogodoone, Frantiniack, Canary, Musquedine Wines, as Gymnasiarchicall, of the Martial Science of Defence; Monomachounticall, and Polymachounticall  
Greeting, not Grating.  

THe mighty Acts of your Olympic arm,  
Whose power Pancratiastick all doth charm,  
Put down great Hercules, and stride before  
All his vast Labours, had they been twelve score.  
What you enrol in lines both high and strong.  
O'th' Velom of your own Stentorian tongue.  
I do omit, nor make my Muse's Theme,  
To add more water to a swelling stream;  
But this fierce fight, devoid of sight, and light,  
Encourtainized in Stygian shade of Night,  
I have displayed to the rays of Fame:  
For that desires, and you deserve the same;  
For which my Muse here prostrite, you doth woe  
To be, as Subject, so Protector too;  
Erave Pentathletick Roister; deign to take  
This into favour for your honour's sake;  
It is your Art, and part now to descend  
This Case, your fight self, your writing friend.  
It is a Nosegay therefore sweet enough;  
Called from your Garden; take it not in snuff.  
A Dish first dressed by you, now sauced and graced  
To please your Palate: do not it distaste.  
A Stage erected by our Mose to show  
Your Masterpiece to all Beholder's view:  
More Amphitheatrall than piles of wood;  
O do not fire it in your angry mood.  
Behold the verse, though numbered odd, and rough,  
Yet, measured even, smoothly apt for you:  
The feet your fingers fit, and may be scanned  
With Bidexteritie of either hand.  
Two Tetradactyles mournful numbers fit  
That hand, whose finger by the Bears was bit.  
The Pentaedactyle for your left, more high  
To sing your deeds, doth mount Heroickly.  
The short dwrafe-verse to scan if't be thy pleasure,  
Then thump upon thy Stump, and there's the measure.  
Sir, if that favour shall with you be found,  
To you our Muse shall with her Book be bound.   
Yours at a cast, unto his last: Idem quidem, qui pridem, IO: GOWER.   

WOrthy Poetical Client, I have viewed the Information you sent me: which will sufficiently direct me in framing your answer. By reading it I am suddenly transformed, and become a Rythmicall Proctor. Whereof I give you a Proof: which, when I plead your Apology, shall serve for a Preface; in manner and form following,  


john Gower's Proctor's Allegation  
To Iockie's plea of Defamation:  
Advised, devised, revised with consultation.   
What raised Achilles acts of might?  
Not that he did with Hector fight:  
But that he did on Homer's trumpet light  
To tell them.   

Nor had these fuming feats of Fame,  
Blown up so high stout Iockie's name,  
Had Gower's Lime-hound nose not been in frame  
To smell them.   

The fivefold fights, which chanted came  
Through Pindar's quill, to this are lame:  
All Greece of such a brave Olympic game  
ne'er craked.   

Here Mars and Bacchus so combine: 
An Apostrophe to james.   
No Bush shall need to vent thy wine:  
Two Parthians shooting backward be thy sign  
Half naked.   

Then Travellers through thick, and thin,  
Will flock to this new-named Inn:  
Where all in rich Canary will begin  
To jockey.   

And Will must not be wrestled out,  
Who did so well maintain the Bout.  
This Combat's fume made all our Hops (I doubt)  
So crocky. 
Ever since this ●ight the Hops ●hereabout have ●in blasted and ●…ooty    
Colonus Felis. Expound this Latin into Greek: My name you need not further seek.   

A Congratulatory verse, to the bravely resolved JAMES, the horrid Baby of bloody-handed Bellona Archduke of Canary, and great Commander of the omnipotent forces of Bacchus, in the infernal Region of his well-bunged, and wellbanged Barrels.  

MArs-daunting Martialist, a silent tongue  
Of thy great acts does thy great self great wrong;  
Too little stages thy Pancratick rage  
Have graced, thouart now brought on the world's great stage;  
Lo, here the trumpet of thy wandering fame,  
The Herauld-blazer of thy dreadful name:  
Thou hast an Atlas whose unshrinking shoulders  
Of thee, against sharp Censure, are upholders.  
Illustrious james, thou hence forth shalt inherit  
Achilles' 
* Achilles, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, à solvendo dolorem, for he makes his guests merry with tales and jests.  name, as thou dost his brave spirit;  
What's said of him is but a pleasant fiction,  
And seems of thee to be a true prediction:  
Thy mother did thee (young) by th' Finger take,  
And drenched thy body in the Stygian Lake,  
Made it impenetrable; for no wound  
Was yet in all thy Broils e'er made, or found,  
Save in that fatal Finger. (Poets tripped  
In saying 'twas the Heel, their finger slipped.)  
Canary is thy Achyllaean Spear,  
That hurts, and heals, and strikes, more joy, than fear:  
Thy valiant 
* Busy pott●… of Wine, a●… pots of Beer.  Myrmidons with thee (brave Boy)  
Are able to subdue another Troy.   
E. A.   

To my good Schoolmaster, Mr. john Gower, and to my good acquaintance, his Book.  

THe Printer writes, our Master's Book will sell:  
And I must write our Master writeth well.  
Yet means he not to make a Schoole-booke of it:  
For that would turn to our, and his small profit.  
Our Dames of Heningham would chide, and say  
That boys are sent to study not to play.  
And so we do. For daily all the week  
He teacheth us true Latin, trusty Greek;  
But yet on Holidays, and playing hours,  
He gives us leave to read of English Towers,  
Which have of old in siege the Danes withstood;  
Or been besmeered with English clodered blood:  
And of stout Champions who at every stroke,  
Have made the walls of warlike Castle's smoke.   
Alumnus tuus JOSEPHUS HARRINGTON.   


Our Master john Gower  
Hath writ of a Tower,  
Which looks much battered and broken.  
Not far from those walls,  
I have oft played at Scales.  
And is not that a good token?   

Of james he hath written  
A story no fitten,  
(I know well that Giant of valour)  
A deadly sore fight  
Ith' dead of the night,  
O! he is more stout than a Tailor.   

I had rather run hence,  
Then meet him at Fence,  
Unless I might give him School-butter:  
What though he be bare?  
Yet strike I scarce dare,  
Lest he begin first to utter.   
WILL: BRAMSTON, Discipulus.   

Upon the Castle-Combat.  

THy Work is sweet, but comes from matter sour:  
So rankest dung brings forth the fairest flower.  
Thus I salute my gentle Master Gower.   
DRVOO TINDALE, Qui tibi Discipulus nunc sum, cupioque doceri.   


THe Printer dreams this Book will sell the better;  
If Castle-Schoole do send to him a letter.  
I am therein a Scholar, young and tender:  
And yet am bold to be a poor commender.  
Thus I my hearty Commendations send,  
Print well; Farewell, my unknown London Friend.   
EDMUND BRAMSTON. Discipulus Gowerianus.   

A Quaere with a Quare concerning john Quis.  

What john? What Gower? john Gower, Chaucer's friend?  
He lived; & 
* See his Monnument in Sai●● Mary Overie Church near London.  wrote renowned in times of yore:  
And now belike, according to the lore  
Of great Pythagoras, himself doth lend.   

Thus, by Soule-shifting, Virgil's ghost did wend  
To Spencer's lodge. Who Ovid was before;  
Is Drayton since. Thus Lucan Fates restore  
In May. Thus Orpheus soul doth Quarl's attend.   

Let Heralds thee engower when thou wilt brave it:  
Thy Muse for name; and fame makes Affidavit.   
EDM: JOHNSON.   

For the Castle Combat.  

I Speak it boldly (for I need not shuffle)  
This fight encounters with the Counter-Scuffle.  
Those Eggs, the Loaves, the Lobster's, Please; and Ling,  
The Pippin-pyes; and all, that they did fling,  
Concocted were but artificially  
In Culinary fires by Cookery:  
But here the weapons are of nobler temper,  
Refined in Natures Kitchin. Constat semper,  
That Nature added unto Art doth make  
A better work, than Art can undertake.  
A custard backed is not so strong a bullet,  
As when for after batch it past the gullet.  
The Oven, Cauldron, Spits, are all but Sluts  
Compared with humane stomach; Liver, Guts.  
And therefore 'tis more honour to be beaten  
With tools of meat already chewed and eaten.  
O brave heroic shot! O field well won!  
Where cumbatants have made their Corpse their Gun.  
I say again, Mars did more richly ruffle  
In Castle-Combat, than in Counter-Scuffle.   
JOHANNES de ATOCHA.  
FINIS.