A Notable Discovery of Cozenage. Now daily practised by sundry lewd persons, called Connie-catchers, and Crosse-byters. Plainly laying open those pernicious sleights that hath brought many ignorant men to confusion. Written for the general benefit of all Gentlemen, Citizens, Aprentises, Country Farmers and yeomen, that may hap to fall into the company of such cozening companions. With a delightful discourse of the cozenage of Colliers. Nascimur pro patria. By R. green, Master of Arts LONDON Printed by Thomas Scarlet for Thomas Nelson. 1592. To all my good friends health. AS Plato (my good friends) traveled from Athens to Egypt, and from thence through sundry climes to increase his knowledge: so I as desirous as he to search the depth of those liberal Arts wherein I was a professor, left my study in Whittington College, & traced the country to grow famous in my faculty, so that I was so expert in the Art of Coney-catching by my continual practice, Newgate builded by one Wittington that that learned Philosopher jacke Cuts, whose deep insight into this science had drawn him thrice through every jail in England, meeting of me at Maidstone. gave me the bucklers, as the subtlelest that ever he saw in that acquaint and mystical form of Foolosophy: for if ever I brought my Coney but to crush a pot of ale with me, I was as sure of all the crowns in his purse, as if he had conveyed them into my proper possession by a deed of gift with his own hand. At Dequoy, The names of such games as Coney-catchers use. Mumcha●nce Catch-dolt, Our le bourse, Non est possible, Dutch Noddy, or Irish one and thirty, none durst ever make compare with me for excellence: but as so many heads so many wits, so some that would not stoop a farthing at cards, All the money in their purse. would venterall the bite in their boung at dice. Therefore had I cheats for the very size, of the squariers, langrets, gourds, stoppe-dice, high-men, low-men, and dice bard for all advantages: that if I fetched in any novice either at tables, or any other game of hazard, I would be sure to strip him of all that his purse had in Esse, or his credit in Posse, ere the simple Connie and I parted. When neither of these would serve, I had consorts that could verse, nip, and fo●st, so that I had a superficial sight into every profitable faculty. Insomuch that my principles grew authentical, and I so famous, that had I not been crossed by those two peevish Pamphlets, I might at the next Midsummer have worn Doctor Stories cap for a favour. For I traveled almost throughout all England, admired for my ingenious capacity: till coming about Exeter, I began to exercise my art, and drawing in a Tanner for a tame Conie, assoon as he had lost two shillings he made this reply. Sirrah, although you have a livery on your back, and a cognisance to countenance you withal, and bear the port of a Gentleman, yet I see you are a false knave and a Coney-catcher, and this your companion your setter, and that before you and I part I'll prove. At these words Coney-catcher and Setter, I was driven into as great a maze, as if one had dropped out of the clouds, to hear a peasant cant the words of art belonging to our trade: yet I set a good face on the matter and asked him what he meant by Coney-catching. Marry (q. he) although it is your practice, yet I have for 3. pence bought a little Pamphlet, that hath taught me to smoke such a couple of knaves as you be. When I heard him talk of smoking, my heart waxed cold, and I began to gather into him gently. No no sir (q. he) you cannot verse upon me, this book hath taught me to beware of crossbiting: And so to be brief he used me courteously, and that night caused the Constable to lodge me in prison, & the next morning I was carried before the justice, where likewise he had this cursed book of Coney catching, so that he could tell the secrets of mine art better than myself: whereupon after strict examination I was sent to the jail, & at the Sessions by good hap & some friend that my money procured me, I was delivered. Assoon as I was at liberty, I got one of these books, & began to toss it over very devoutly, wherein I found one art so perfectly anotomized, as if he had been practitioner in our faculty forty winters before: then with a deep sigh I began to curse this R. G. that had made a public spoil of so noble a science, and to exclaim against that palpable ass whosoever, that would make any penman privy to our secret sciences. But see the sequel, I smothered my sorrow in silence, and away I trudged out of Devonshire, & went towards Cornwall, & coming to a simple Alehouse to lodge, I found at a square table hard by the fire half a dozen country Farmers at cards. The sight of these penny-fathers at play, drove me strait into a pleasant passion, to bless fortune that had offered such sweet opportunity to exercise my wits, & fill my purse with crowns: for I counted all the money they had, mine by proper interest. As thus I stood looking on them playing at cros-ruffe, one was taken revoking, whereat the other said, what neighbour will you play the coney-catcher with us? no no, we have read the book as well as you. Never went a cup of small bear so sorrowfully down an Ale-knights belly in a frosty morning as that word stroke to my heart, so that for fear of trouble I was fain to try my good hap a● square play, at which fortune favouring me I won twenty shillings, and yet do as simply as I could, I was not only suspected, but called Coney-catcher and crosse-biter. But away I went with the money, and came presently to London, where I no sooner arrived amongst the crew, but I heard of a second part worse than the first, which ●aue me into such a great choler, that I began to inquire what this R G. should be. At last I learned that he was a scholar, and a Master of Arts, and a Coney-catcher in his kind, though not at cards, and one that favoured good fellows, so they were not palpable offenders in such desperate laws: whereupon reading his books, and surveying every line with deep judgement, I began to note folly in the man, that would strain a Gnat, and let pass an Elephant: that would touch small scapest and let gross faults pass without any reprehension. Insomuch that I resolved to make an Apology, and to answer his libellous invectives, and to prove that we coney-catchers are like little flies in the grass, which live: or little leaves and do no more harm: whereas there be in England other professions that be great coney-catchers and caterpillars, that make barren the field wherein they bait. Therefore all my good friends vouch of my pains, and pray for my proceed, for I mean to have about with this R. G. and to give him such a veny, that he shallbe, afraid hereafter to disparaged that mystical science of Coney-catching: if not, and that I prove too weak for him in sophistry, I mean to borrow Wili Bickertous blade, of as good a temper as Morglay King Arthures sword was, and so challenge him to the single combat: But desirous to end the quarrel with the pen if it be possible, hear what I have learned in Whittington College. Yours in cards and dice Cu●bert coney-catcher. THE ART OF CONEY-CATCHING. THere be requisite effectually to act the art of Coney-catching. three several parties, the Setter, the Uerser, and the barnacle. The nature of the Setter, is to draw any person familiarly to drink with him, which person they call the conie, and their method is according to the man they aim at: if a gentleman, merchant, or apprentice, the coney is the more easily caught, in that they are soon induced to play, and therefore I omit the circumstance which they use in catching of them. And because the poor country farmer or yeoman is the mark which they most of all shoot at, who they know comes not empty to the Term. I will discover the means they put in practice to bring in some honest, simple, and ignorant men to their purpose. The conicatchers appareled like honest civel Gentlemen, or good fellows, with a smooth face, as if butter would not melt in their mouths, after dinner when the clients are come from Westminster hall, and are at leisure to walk up and down Paul's, Fleet street, Holborn, the strand, and such common haunted places, where these cozening companions attend only to spy out a pray, who as they see a plain country fellow well and cleanly appareled, either in a coat of home spun russet, or of freeze as the time requires, and a side pouch at his side, there is a conie, saith one. At that word out flies the Setter, & overtaking the man gins to salute him thus: sir, God save you, you are welcome to London, how doth all our friends in the country, I hope they be all in health? The country man seeing a man so courteous he knows not, half in a brown study at this strange salutation, perhaps makes him this answer: sir all our friends in the country are well, thanks be to God, but truly I know you not, you must pardon me. Why sir, saith the setter, guessing by his tongue what country man he is, are ye not such a countryman? if he say yeast, than he creeps upon him closely, if he say no, then strait the setter comes over him thus. In good sooth sir, I know you by your face, and have been in your companis before, I pray you (if without offence) let me crave your name and the place of your abode. The simple man strait tells him where he dwells, his name, and who be his next neighbours and what country Gentlemen dwell about him. After he hath learned all of him, than he comes over his fallows kindly, sir, though I have been somewhat bold to be inquisitive of your name, yet hold me excused, for I took you for a friend of mine, but since by mistaking I have made you slack your business, we'll drink a quart of wine or a pot of ale together, if the fool be so ready as to go, then the conie is caught, but if he smacks the setter, and smells a rat by his clawing, and will not drink with him, than away goes the setter, and discourseth to the verser that name of the man, the parish he dwells in, and what Gentlemen are his near neighbours, with that away goes he, and crossing the man at some turning, meets him full in the face, & greets him thus. What goodman Barton, how far all our friends about you? you are well met, I have the wine for you, you are welcome to town. The poor Country man hearing himself named by a man he knows not, marvels, and answers that he knows him not, and craves pardon. Not me goodman Barton, have you forgot me? why I am such a man's kinsman, your neighbour not far off, how doth this or that good Gentleman my friend? good Lord that I should be out of your remembrance, I have been at your house diverse times. Indeed sir, saith the Farmer, are you such a man's kinsman, surely sir if you had not challenged acquaintance of me, I should never have known you, I have clean forgotten you, but I know the good gentleman your cousin well, he is my very good neighbour. And for his sake saith the verser, we'll drink ere we part, happily the man thanks him, & to the wine or ale they go, then ere they part they make him a conie, and so feret claw him at cards, that they leave him as bare of money as an ape of a tail. Thus have the filthy fellows their subtle fetches, to draw on poor men to fall into their cozening practices. Thus like consuming moths of the commonwealth, they pray upon the ignorance of such plain souls as measure all their own honesty, not regarding either conscience, or the fatal revenge that's threatened for such idle and licentious persons, do but employ all their wits to overthrow such as with their handy thrift satisfy their hearty thirst: they preferring cozenage before labour, and choosing an idle practice before an honest form of good living. Well, to the method again of taking up their coneys. If the poor countryman smoke them still, and will not stoop unto either of their lures: than one, either the verser, or the setter, or some of their crew, for there is a fraternity betwixt them, steps before the coney as he goeth, & let's drop twelve pence in the high way, that of force the coney must see it. The countryman spying the shilling, maketh not dainty, for quis nisi mentis inops oblatum respuit aurum, but stoopeth very mannerly and taketh it up: then one of the coney catchers behind crieth half part, and so challengeth half of his finding, the countryman content offereth to change the money, nay faith friend saith the verser, 'tis ill luck to keep found money, we'll go spend it in a pottle of wine, or a breakfast, dinner or supper, as the time of day requires: if the coney say he will not, then answers the verser, spend my part: if still the coney refuse, he taketh half and away. If they spy the countryman to be of a having and covetous mind, then have they a further policy to draw him on: another that knoweth the place of his abode, meeteth him and saith, sir, well met. I have run hastily to overtake you, I pray you dwell you not in Darbishire, in such a village? yea marry do I friend saith the coney, then replies the verser, truly sir I have a suit to you, I am going out of town, and must send a letter to the parson of your parish, you shall not refuse to do a stranger such favour, as to carry it him, haply, as men may in time meet, it may lie in my lot to do you as good a turn, and for your pains I will give you xii. d. The poor coney in mere simplicity saith, sir, I'll do so much for you with all my heart, where is your letter? I have it not good sir ready written, but if I may entreat you to step into some tavern or alehouse, we'll drink the while, and I will write but a line or two: at this the coney stoops, and for greediness of the money, and upon courtesy goes with the setter unto the tauern● As they walk they meet the verser, and then they all three go into the tavern together. See Gentlemen what great Logicians these coney catchers be, that have such rhetorical persuasions to induce the poor countryman to his confusion, and what variety of villainy they have to strip the poor farmer of his money. Well, imagine the coney is in the tauern● than sits down the verser, saying to the setter, what sirrah, wilt thou give me a quart of wine, or shall I give thee one? we'll drink a pint saith the setter, and play a game at cards for it; respecting more the sport, than the loss, content qd. the verser, go call for a pair, & while he is gone to fetch them, he saith to the coney, you shall see me fetch over my young master for a quart of wine finely, but this you must do for me when I cut the cards, as I will not cut above five of, mark then of all the greatest pack which is undermost, and when I bid you call a card for me, name that, & you shall see we'll make him pay for a quart of wine strait: truly says the coney, I am no great player at cards, neither do well understand your meaning: why qd. he it is thus. I'll play at mumchance, or decoy, he shall shuffle the cards and i'll cut, now either of us must call a card, you shall call for me, & he for himself, and whose card comes first wins, therefore when I have cut the cards, then mark the nethermost of the greatest heap that I set upon the cards which I cut off, and ever call that for me. O now saith the coney I understand you, let me alone, I warrant you i'll fit your turn, with that in comes the Setter with his cards, ask at what game they shall play, why saith the verser at a new game called mumchance, that hath no policy nor knavery, but plain as a pikestaffe, you shall shuffle and i'll cut, you shall call a card, and this honest man a stranger almost to us both, shall call another for me, & which of our cards comes first shall win: content saith the setter, that is but mere hazard, so be shufles the cards, and the verser cuts off some four cards, and then taking up the heap to set upon them, giveth the coney a glance of the bottom card of that heap and saith, now sir, call for me. The coney to blind the setters eyes, asketh as though he were not made privy to the gam●, what, shall I cut? what card saith the verser? why what yo● will, either heart, spade, club or diamond, cotecard or other. O is it so saith the coney, why then you shall h●ue the four of hearts which was the card he had a glance of● and saith the setter (holding the cards in his hand and turning up the uppermost, as if he knew not well ●he game) i'll hau● the knave of trumps, nay saith the verser there is no trump, you may call what card you will: then saith he il● have the ten of spades, with that he draws● and the four of hearts comes first: well saith the setter, 'tis but hazard, mine might have come as well as yours, five is up, I ●eare not the set: so they shuffle and cut, but the verser wins. Well ●aith the setter, no butler will cleave on my bread: what not on● draft among five, Drawer a fresh pint, i'll have another bout with you: but sir I believe, saith he to the coney, you see some card, that it goes so cross with me. I saith the c●ny, I hope you think not so of me, 'tis but hazard and chance, for I am a mere stranger to the game, as I am an honest man I never saw it before. Thus this simple coney closeth up smoothly to take the versers' part, only for greediness to have him win the wine: well qd. the setter, then i'll have one cast more, and to it they go, but he loseth all, and gins to chafe in this manner: were it not quoth he, that I care not for a quart of wine, I could swear as many oaths for anger, as there be hairs on my head, why should not my luck be as good as yours, and fortune favour me as well as you? what not one called card in ten cuts, i'll forswear the game for ever. Chafe not man qd. the verser, sith we have your quart of wine i'll show you the game, and therewith discourseth all to him, as if he were ignorant of it. The setter, as simply as if the Knave were ignorant ●aith, ye marry I thought so, you must needs win when he knows what card to call. I might play long enough before I got a set. Truly qd. the coney 'tis a pretty game, for it's not possible for him to lose that cuts the cards, the other that shufles may lose S. Peter's cope if he had it. Well, i'll carry this home with me into the country, and win many a pot of al● with it. A fresh pint saith the verser, and then we'll away: but seeing sir you are going homeward, i'll learn you a trick worth the noting, that shall win you many a pot in the winter's nights: with that he culls out ●he ●our Knaves, and pricks one in the top, one in the midst, and one in the bottom. Now sir saith he, you see these three Knaves ppparantlie, thrust them down with your hand, and cut where you will, and though ●hey be so far asunder, il● make them all come together. Let's see that I pray you saith the coney, me thinks 'tis impossible. So the verser draws, and all the three knaves come in one heap: this he doth once or twice, than the coney wonders at it, and offers a pint of wine to be taught it. Nay saith the verser i'll do it for thanks, and therefore mark where you have taken out the four knaves, lay two together above, and draw up one of them that it maybe seen, then prick the other in the midst, and the third in the bottom, so when any cuts, cut he never so warily, 3. knaves must of force come together, for the bott●m knave is cut to lie upon both the upper knaves. I marry saith the setter, but the three knaves you showed come not together. True said the verser, but one among a thousand mark not that, it requires a quick eye, a sharp wit, and a reaching head to spy at the first. Gramercy for this trick saith the coney, i'll domineer with this among my neighbours Thus do the verser and the setter seem friendly to the Coney, offering him no show of cozenage, nor once to draw him in for a pint of wine, the more to shadow their villainy, but now gins the sport: as thus they sit tippling comes the Barnacle & thrusts open the door, looking into the room where they are, and as one bashful steps back again saying, I cry you mercy gentlemen, I thought a friend of mine had been here, pardon my boldness: no harm saith the verser, I pray you drink a cup of wine with us and welcome: in comes the barnacle, and taking the cup, drinks to the coney, and then saith, what at cards gentlemen? were it not I should be offensive to the company, I would play for a pint till my friend come I look for. Why sir saith the verser, if you will sit down you shallbe taken up for a quart of wine: with all my heart saith the barnacle, what will you play at, Primero, primo visto, Saint, one and thirty, new cut, or what shallbe the game? Sir saith the verser I am but an ignorant man at cards, & you have them at your finger's end, i'll play with you at a game that hath no deceit, called mumchance at cards, and it is thus: you shall shuffle, and i'll cut, you shall call one card, and this honest yeoman shall call another for me, and which of our cards comes first shall win, here you see is no deceit, and at this isle play. No truly saith the Conie, me thinks there can be no great craft in this. Well saith the barnacle for a pint of wine have at you: so they play as before, five up, and the verser wins. This is hard luck saith the barnacle, and I believe the honest man spies some card in the bottom, therefore I will make this, always to prick the bottom card: content saith the verser: and the coney to cloak the matter saith sir, you offer me injury to think that I can call a card, when I neither touch them, shuffle, cut, nor draw them. Ah sir saith the barnacle, give losers leave to speak: well, to it they go again, & then the barnacle knowing the çame best, by chopping a card wins two of the five, but lets the verser win the set: then in a chaf● he sweareth 'tis but his ill luck, and he can see no deceit in it, therefore he will play xii. d. a cut. The verser in content, and wins two. or iii. s. of the barnacle, whereat he chafes and saith, I came bether in an ill hour, but i'll win my money again, or lose all in my purse, with that he draws out a purse with some three or four pound and claps on the board: the verser asketh the conie secretly by signs if he will be his half, he says yea, and strait seeks for his purse. The Barnacle shufles the cards throwlie, and the verser cuts as before, the barnacle, when he hath drawn one card saith, i'll either win something or lose something, therefore i levie and revie every card at my pleasure till either yours or mine come out, therefore xii. d. upon this card, my card comes first. No saith the verser, and saith the coney I durst lay xii. d. more. I hold it saith the barnacle: so they vi● and revie till some ten shillings be on the stake: ●nd then next comes forth the versers' card that the conie called, and so the barnacle loseth. This flesheth the conie, the sweetness of gain makes him cronike, and none more ready to vie and revie than he. Thus for three or four times the barnacle loseth. At last to whet on the conie he striketh his chopped card and winneth a good stake: away with the witch cries the barnacle, I hope the cards will turn at last. Much thinks the conie, 'twas but a chance you asked so right one of the five that was cut off, there was forty to one on my side, and i'll have you on the lurch anon. So still they vie & revie and for once that the barnacle wins, the conie gets five: at last when they mean to shave the conie clean of all his coin, th● barnacle chafeth, and upon a pawn borroweth money of the tapster, and swears he will vie it to the uttermost. Then thus he chaps his card to crossbite the conie: he first looks on the bottom card, and shufles often, but still keeping that bottom card, which he knows to be uppermost, then sets he down the cards, and the verser to encourage the conie, cuts off but three cards, whereof the barnacles card must needs be the uppermost. Then he shows the bottom card of the other heap cut off to the cony, & sets it upon the barnacles carded which ●e knows, so that of ●orc● the card that was laid upermost must c●me forth first, and then the barnacle calls that card. They draw a card, and they the barnacle vies, and the countryman vies upon him: for this is the law● as oft as one vies or revies, the other must see it, else he looseth the stake. Well at last the barnacle plies it so, that perhaps he vies more money than the conie hath in his purse. Upon this the conie knowing his card is the third or fo●rth card, and that he hath forty to one against the barnacle, pawns his rings if he have any, his sword, his cloak, or else what he hath about him, to maintain the vie: and when he laughs in his sléene, thinking he hath fléest the barnacle of all, than the barnacles card comes forth, and strikes such a cold humour to his heart, that he sits as a man in a trance, not knowing what to do, & sighing while his heart is ready to break, thinking on the money that he hath lost. Perhaps the man is very simple and patiented, and whatsoever he thinks, for fear goes his way quiet with his loss while the Coney-catches laugh and divide the spoil, and being out of doors, poor man, goes to his lodging with a heavy heart, pensive and sorrowful, but too late, for perhaps his state did depend on that money, and ●o he, his wife and children, & his family, are brought to extreme misery. Another perhaps more hardy and subtle, smokes the coney-catches, and smelleth cozenage, and saith they shall not have his money so, but they answer him with braves, and though he bring them before an officer, the Knaves are so favoured, that the man never recovereth his money, and he is let slip unpunished. Thus are the poor coneys rob by these base minded Caterpillars: thus are servingmen oft enticed to play, and lose all: thus are prentices induced to be coneyes, and so are cozened of their master's money: yea young gentlemen, merchants, & other, are fetched in by these damnable rakehells, a plague as ill as hell, which is, present loss of money, and ensuing misery. A lamentable case in England when such vipers are suffered to br●ede, and are not cut off with the sword of justice. This enormity is not only in London, but now generally dispersed through all England, in every Shire, City, and Town of any receipt, and many complaints are heard of their egregious cozenage. The poor farm●● simply going about his business, or unto his att●rneis chamber, is catched up and cozened of all: the servingman sent with his Lord's treasure, loseth ofttimes most part to these worms of the commonwealth: the prentice having his master's money in charge, is spoiled by them, and from an honest servant, either driven to run away, or to live in discredit for ever. The gentleman loseth his land, the merchant his stock, and all to these abominable conicatchers, whose means is as ill as their living, for they are all either wedded to whores, or so addicted to whores, that what they get from honest men, they spend in bawdy houses among harlots, and consume it as vainly as they get it villainously. Their ears are of adamant, as pitiless a● they are treacherous, for be the man never so poor, they will not return him one penny of his loss. I remember a merry jest done of late to a welshman, who being a mere stranger in London, and not well acquainted with the English tongue, chanced amongst certain conicatchers, who spying the gentleman had money, they so dealt with him, that what by signs and broken English, they got him in for a conie, and fléest him of every penny that he had, and of his sword: at last the man smoked them, and drew his dagger upon them at Ludgate, for thereabout they had catched him, and would have stabbed one of them for his money, but people stopped him, the rather because they could not understand him, though he had a card in one hand, and his dagger in the other, saying as well as he could, a card, a card, mon dien. In the mean while the conicatchers were got into pauls, and so away, The welshman followed them seeking there up and down in the church still with his naked dagger and the card in his hand, the gentlemen marvel what he meant thereby: at last one of his countrymen met him, and inquired the cause of his choler, than he told him how he was cozened at cards, and robbed of all his money, but as his loss was voluntary, so his seeking for them was mere vanity, for they were stepped into some blind al●hous● to divide the shares. Near to S. Edmondsburie in Suffolk, there dweit an honest man a shoemaker, who having some xx. marks in his purse, long in gathering, and nearly kept, came to the market to buy hides, and by chance fell amongst Conicat●hers, whose names I omit because I hope of their amendment. This pain Countryman draw●n in by these former devices, was made a coney, & stripped of his xx. mark, to his vn●●ing: the Knaves scaped, and he went home a sorrowful man. Soon after one of these co●icatchers was taken for a suspected person, and laid in Bury gaoler the sessions coming, and he produced to the bar, it was the poor shoemakers fortune to be there, who seeing this rogne arraigned, was glad, and said nothing to him● looking what would be the issue of his appearance. At last he was brought before the justices to be examined of his life, and being demanded what occupation he was, said none, what profession then are you of, & how live you? Marry quoth ●e I am a gentleman, and live of my ●rends. That's a lie qd. the shoemaker, under correction of the worshipful of the bench, you have a trade, and are by your art a coney-catcher. A Coney-catcher said one of the justices and smiled, is he a warrener fellow, canst thou tell whose warren he kéepeth● No sir your worship mistaketh me, he is not a warrener, but a coney-catcher. The bench, that never heard this name before, smiled, attributing the name to the man's simplicity, thought he meant a warrener: which the poor man seeing, answered, the som● coneys this fellow caught were worth xx. mark a piece, for proof qd. he. I am one of them, and so discoursed the order of the art, and the baseness of the cozenage: whereupon the justices looking into his life, judged him to be whipped: the shoemaker desired he might give him his payment, which was granted. When he came to his punishment the shoemaker laughed saying, 'tis a mad world when poor Coneys are able to beat their catchers: but he lent him so friendly lashes, that almost he made him pay an ounce of blood for every pound of silver. Thus we see how the generation of these viper's increase, to the confusion of many honest men, whose practices to my poor power I have discovered and set out, with the villainous s●eights they use to intray the simple, yet have they cloaks for the rain, and shadows for their villainies, calling it by the name of art or law: as coney-catching art, or coney-catching law. And hereof it riseth, that like as law, when the term is truly considered, signifieth the ordinance of good men, established for the commonwealth, to repress vicious living, so these conicatchers turn the cat in the pan, giving to vile patching shifts● an honest & godly title, calling it by the name of a law, because by a multitude of hateful rules, as it were in good learning, they do exercise their villainies to the destruction of sundry honest persons. Hereupon they give their false conveyance the name of Coney-catching law, as there be also other laws: as high law, sacking law, ●●gging law, cheating law, and Barnard's law. If you mar●el at these mysteries and quaint words, consider, as carpenters have many terms familiar enough to their prentices, that other understand not at all, so have the connycatchers not without great cause, for a falsehood once detected, can never compass the desired effect. Therefore will I presently acquaint you with the signification of the terms in a table. But leaving them till time and place, coming down Turnmill street the other day, I met one whom I suspected a connycatcher, I drew him on to the tavern, and after a cup of wine or two, I talked with him of the manner of his life, and told him I was sorry for his friends sake, that he took so bad a course as to live upon the spoil of poor men, and specially to deserve the name of coney-catching, dissuading him from that base kind of life, that was so ignominious in the world, and so loathsome in the sight of God, Tut sir, quoth he, calling me by my name, as my religion is small, so my devotion is less, I leave God to be disputed on by divines, the two ends I aim at, are gain & ease, but by what honest gains I may get, never comes within the compass of my thoughts. Though your experience in travel be great, yet in home matters mine is more: yea I am sure you are not so ignorant, but you know that few men can live uprightly, unless they have some pretty way more than the world is witness to to help themselves withal. Think you some lawyers could be such purchasers if all their pleas were short, and their proceed justice and conscience? that offices would be so dearly bought, and the buyer so soon enriched, if they counted not pillage an honest kind of purchase? or think you that men of handy trades make all their commodities without falsehood, when so many of them are become daily purchasers? nay what will you more? who so hath not some sinister way to help● himself, but followeth his nose always strait forward, may well hold up the head for a year or two, but the third he must needs sink, and gather the wind into beggar's haven: therefore sir, cease to persuade me to the contrary, for my resolution is to beat my wits, and busis my brains to save and help me, by what means so ever I care not so I may avoid the danger of the law. Whereupon seeing this coney-catcher resolved in his form of life, leaving him to his lewdness I went away, wondering at the baseness of their mind●, that would spend their time in such detestable sort. But no marvel, for they are given up into a reprobate sense, and are in religion mere at heists, as they are in trade flat dissemblers, if I should spend many sheets in deciphering their shifts, it were frivolous, in that they be many and full of variety, for every day they invent new tricks, and such quaint devices as are secret, yet passing dangerous, that if a man had Argus' eyes, he could scant pry into th● bottom of their practices. Thus for the benefit of my country I have briefly discovered the law of coney-catching, de●●ring all justices, if any such cozeners light in your precinct, even to use summum ius against them, because it is the basest of all villainies. And that London apprentices, if they chā●● in such coney-catchers company, may teach them London law, that is, to defend the poor men that are wronged, and learn the caterpillars the high way to newgate, where if Hind favour them with the heaviest 〈◊〉 in the house, and give them his unkindest entertainment, 〈◊〉 doubt his other petty sins shall be half pardoned for his labour: but I would it might be their fortune to happen into Nobles northward in white chapel, there in faith round Robin his dep●●●● would make them, like wretches, feel the weight of his heau●●●● fetters. And so desiring both honourable and worshipful, as well justices as other officers, and all states, from the Prince to the beggar, to rest professed enemies to these base-minded coney-catchers, I take my leave. Nascimur pro patria. A Table of the words of Art used in effecting these base villainies. Wherein is discovered the nature of ever term, being proper to 〈◊〉 but to the Professors thereof. 1 High law robbing by the highway ●ide. 2 Sacking law lechery. Cheating law play at false dice. 3 Crossbiting law cozenage by wh●res. 4 Coney-catching law cozenage by cards. 5 Uersing law cozenage by false gold. 6 Figging law cutting of purses & picking of pockets. ● Barnard's law a drunken cozenage by cards. These are the eight laws of villainy, leading the high way to infamy. In high Law The Thief is called a High lawyer. He that setteth the Watch, a Scrippe● He that standeth to watch, an Oak He that is robbed, the Martin When he yieldeth, stooping In sacking Law The Bawd if it be a woman, a Pand●r The Bawd, if a man, an Apple squire The whore, a Commodity The whore house, a Trugging place In cheating law Pardon me Gentlemen, for although no man could better than myself discover this law and his terms, and the name of their Cheats, ●arddice, Flats, Forgers, Langre●s, Gourds, Demies, and many other, with their nature. & the crosses and contraries to them upon advantage, yet for some special reasons, herein I will be silent. In Crossbiting law The whore, the Traffic The man that is brought in, the Simpler The villains that take them, the Crosbiters In Coney-catching law The party that taketh up the coney, the Setter He that playeth the g●●ne, the Uerser He that is cozened the coney He that comes in to them, the Barnackle The ●●●le that is won, Purchase In Uersing law He that bringeth him in, the verser The poor Country man, the Coos●● And the dr●nkard that comes in, the Suff●er In Figging law The Cutpurse, a Nix He that is half with him, the Snap The knife, the Cuttle bo●ng The pick pocket, a Foist He that faceth the man, the Stolen Taking the purse, Drawing Spying of him, Smoking The purse, the Bong The money, the Shells The Act doing, striking In Bernard's law He that fetcheth the man the Take● He that is taken, the Co●●●● The la●ded man the verser The drunken man the Barnard And he that makes the fray, the Rutte●: Cum multis aliis qua nunc praescribere longum est. These acquaint ●ermes do these ●ase arts use to shadow their villainy withal for● mul●a la●ent qu● non patent, obscuring their filthy crafts with these fair colours, that the ignorant may not espy what their subtlety is: but their end will be like their beginning, hatched with Cain, and consumed with jadas: and so bidding them adieu to the devil, and you farewell to God, jend. And now to the art of Crossbiting. The art of Crossbiting. THe Crossbiting law is a public profession of shameless cozenage, nuxt with incestuous whoredoms, as 〈◊〉 as was practised in Gomorrha or Sodom, though not after the same unnatural manner: for the method of their mischievous art (with blushing cheeks & trembling heart let it be spoken) is, that these villainous vipers, unworthy the name of men, base rogues (yet why do I term them so well) being outcasts from God, vipers of the world, and an excremental reversion of sin, doth consent, nay constrayn● their wines to yield the use of their bodies to other men, that taking them together, he may crossbite the party of all the crowns he can presently make, and that the world may see their monstrous practices, I will briefly set down the manner. They have sundry praies that they call simplers, which are men fond and wanton given, whom for a penalty of their lust, they fleece of all that ever they have: some merchants, apprentices, servingmen, gentlemen, yeomen, farmers, and all degrees, and this is their form: there are resident in London & the suburbs, certain men attired like Gentlemen, brave fellows, but basely minded, who living in want, as their last refuge, fall unto this crossbiting law and to maintain themselves either marry with some stalls whore, or else forsooth keep one as their friend: and these persons be commonly men of the eight laws before rehearsed: either high Lawyers, Uersers, N●ps, coney-catchers, or such of the like fraternity. These when their other ●rades ●ail, as the Cheater, when he hath no cousin to grime with his stop dice, or the high lawyer, when he hath no set match to ride about, and the Nip when there is no term, fair, nor time of great assembly, then to maintain the main chance, they use the benefit of their wives or friends, to the crossbiting of such as lust after their filthy enormities: some simple men are drawn on by subtle means, which never intended such a bad matter. In summer evenings, and in the winter nights, these traf●ckes, these common trulls I mean, walk abroad either in the fields or streets that are commonly haunted, as stales to draw men into h●ll, and a far of, as attending applesquires, centaine cross-biters stand aloof, as if they knew them not: now so many men so many affections. Some unruly mates that place their content in lust, letting slip the liberty of their ●ies on their painted faces, f●ede upon their unchaste beauties, till their hearts be set on fire: then come they to these minions, and court them with many sweet words: alas their loves needs no long suits, for they are forthwith entertained, and either they go to the tavern to s●ale up the match with a pottle of hippocras, or strait she carries him to some bad place, and there picks his pocket, or else the Cross-biters comes swearing in, & so outface the dismayed companion, that rather than he would be brought in question, he would disburse all that he hath present. But this is but an easy cozenage. Some other meeting with one of that profession in the street, will question if she will drink with him a pint of wine, their trade is never to refuse, and if for manners they do, it is but once: & then scarce shall they be warm in the room, but in comes a terrible fellow, with a side hair● & a ●car●full beard, as though he were one of Polyphemus cut, & he comes frowning in & saith, what hast thou to do● base knave-to carry my sister or my wi●e to the tavern by his owns you whore, 'tis some of your companions, I will have you both before the justice, Deputy, or Constable, to be examined. The poor servingman, apprentice, farmer, or whatsoever he is, seeing such a terrible huff-snuff, s●rearing with his dagger in his hand, is fearful both of him and to be brought in trouble, and therefore speaks kindly and courteously unto him, and desires him to be content he meant no harm. The whore, that hath tears at command, falls a weeping, and cries him mercy. At this submission of them both he triumphs like a bragard, and will take no compassion: yet a last, through entreaty of other his companions coming in as strangers, he is pacified with some forty shillings, and the poor man goes sorrowful away, sighing out that which Solomon hath in his proverbs, A shameless woman hath honey in her l●ppes, and her throat as sweet as honey, her throat as soft as oil: but the end of her is more bitter than Aloes, and her tongue is more sharp than a two edged sword, her feet go unto death, and her steps lead unto hell. Again these trulls when they have got in a no●ice, then strait they pick his purse, and then have they their crosbiters ready, to whom they convey the money and so offer themselves to be searched: but the poor man is so outfaced by these crossbiting Russians, that he is glad to go away content with his loss, yet are these easy practices. O might the justices send out spials in the night, they should see how these street walkers wiliet in rich guarded gowns, quaint periwigs, rufs of the largest size, quarter and half deep, gloried richly with blue starch, their cheeks died with surfuling water, thus are they tricked up, and either walk like stales up and down the streets, or stand like the devils Siquiss at a tavern or alehouse, as if who should say, if any be so minded to satisfy his ●ilthie lust, to lend me his purse, and the devil his soul, let him come in and be welcome. Now sir comes by a country farmer, walking from his inn to perform some business, and seeing such a gorgeous damsel, he wondering at such a brave wench stand staring her on the face, or perhaps doth but cast a glance, and bid her good speed, as plain simple swains have their lusty humours as well as others: the trull strait beginning her exordium with a smile, saith? how now my friend, what want you, would you spe●●●e with any body here? If the fellow ●aue any bold sp●●it, perhaps he will offer the wine, & then he is caught, 'tis enough: in he goes, and they are chambered: then sends she for her husband, or her friend, and there either the farmer's pocket is stripped, or else the crosbiters fall upon him, and threaten him with bride will and the law: then for fear he gives them all in his purse, and makes them some bill to pay a sum of money at a certain day. If the poor Farmer be bashful, and passeth by one of these shameless strumpets, then will she verse it with him, and claim acquaintance of him, and by some policy or other fall aboard on him, and carry him into some house or other: if he but enter in at the doors with her (though the poor Farmer never kis● her) yet then the crosbiters, like vultures, will pray upon his purse, and rob him of every penny. If there be any young gentleman that is a novice and hath not seen their trains, to hi● will some common filth (that never knew love) feign an ardent and honest affection, till she and her crosbiters have versed him to the beggars estate. Ah gentlemen, merchants, yeomen and farmers, let this to you all, and to every degree else, be a caveat to warn you from lust, that your inordinate desire be not a mean to impoverish your purses, discredit your good names, condemns your souls, but also that your wealth got with the sweat of your brows, or left by your parents as a patrimony, shall be a pray to those cozening cros-biters● Some fond men are so far in with these detestable trugs, that they consume what they have upon them, and find nothing but a Neapolitan favour ●or their labour. Read the seventh of salomon's proverbs, and there at large view the description of a shameless and impudent courtesan: yet is there an other kind of crossbiting which is most pestilent, and that is this. There lives about this to●ne certain householders, yet mere shifters and cozeners, who learning some insight in the civil law, walk abroad like parators, summoner's and informers, being none at all either in office or credit, and they go spying about where any merchant, or merchants prentice, citizen, wealthy farmer, or other of credit, either accompany with any woman familiarly, or else hath gotten some maid with child, as men's natures be prone to sin, strait they come over his fallows thus: they send for him to a tavern, & there open the matter unto him, which they have cunningly larned out, telling him he must be presented to the Arches, & the citation shallbe peremptorily served in his parish church. The party afraid to have his credit cracked with the worshipful of the City, and the rest of his neighbours, & grieving highly his wife should hear of it, strait takes composition with this cosner for some twenty marks, nay I heard of forty pound crosbitten at one time, & then the cozening informer or crossbiter promiseth to wipe him out of the book, & discharge him from the matter, when it was neither known nor pre●ented: so go they to the woman, and fetch her off if she be married, and though they have this gross sum, yet oft times they crossbite her for more: nay thus to they fear citizens, prentices & farmers, that they find but any way suspicious of the like fault. The cros-biti●g ba●ds, for no better can I term them, in that for lucre they conceal the sin, and smother up lust, do no! only enrich themselves mightily thereby, but also discredit, hinder, and prejudice the court of the Arches, and the Officers belonging to the same. There are some poor blind patches of that faculty, that have their Tene●ents purchased, and th●ir plate on the board very solemnly, who only get their gains by crossbiting, as is afore rehearsed. But leaving them to the deep insight of such as be appointed with justice to correct vice, again to the ●●ue of my former Crosbiters, whose see simple to live upon, is nothing but the following or common, dishonest and idle trulls and thereby maintain themselves bran, and the strumpets in handsome furniture. And to end this act with an English demonstration, i'll t●ll you a pretty tale of late performed in bishopsgatestreet: there was there five trafficques, pretty, but common hufwives, that stood fast by a tavern door, looking if some prey would come by for their purpose, anon the eldest of them● and most experienced in that law, named Malipiero B. spied a master of a ship coming along. Here is a simpler quoth she, I'll verse him, or hang me. Sir said she, God even, what are you so liberal as to bestow on us three good wenches that are dry, a pint of wine. In faith, fair women qd. he, I was never nygard for so much, and with that he takes one of them by the hand, and carries them all into the tavern, there he bestowed cheer and hippocras upon them, drinking hard till the shot came to a noble, so that they three carousing to the Gentleman, made him somewhat tipsy, and the Et venus in vinis, ignis in igne fuit. Well, night grew on and he would away, but this mistress Malipiero B. stopped his journey thus: gentleman qd. she, this undeserved favour of yours makes us so deeply beholding to you, that our ability is not able any way to make sufficient satisfaction, yet to show us kind in what we can, you shall not deny me this request, to see my simple house before you go. The gentleman a little whittled, consented and went with them so the shot was paid and away they go: without the tavern door stood two of their husbands, I.B. and I.R. and they were made privy to the practice. Home goes the Gentleman with these jolly housewives stumbling, and at last he was welcome to M. male house, and one of the three went into a chamber, and got to bed, whose name was A.B. after they had chatted awhile, the Gentleman would have been gone, but she told him that before he went he should see all the rooms of her house, and so led him up into the chamber where the party lay in bed. Who is here said the gentleman: marry saith mal a good pretty wench sir, and if you be not well lie down by her, you can take no harm of her: Drunkenness desires lust, and so the Gentleman gins to dally, and away goes she with the candle and at last he put off his clothes and went to bed: yet he was not so drunk but he could after a while remember his money, and feeling for his Purse all was gone, and three links of his whistle broken off: the sum that was in his purse was in gold and silver twenty nobles. And thus he was in a maze though his head were all laden, in comes I.B. the good man of the house, and two other with him, and he speaking somewhat loud, Peace Husband quoth she, there is one in bed, speak not so loud. In bed, saith he, gigs nouns, i'll go see, and so will I saith the other: you shall not saith his wife, & strove against him, but up he goes, he and his crosbiters with him, and seeing the gentleman in bed, out with his dagger, and asked what base villain it was that there sought to dishonest his wife: well, he sent one of them for a Constablt, and made the gentleman rise, who half drunk had that remembrance to give fair words, and to entreat him to save his credit: but no entreaty could serve, but to the Counter he must, and the Constable must be sent for: yet at last one of them entreated that the gentleman might be honestly used, and carried to a tavern to talk of the matter till a Constable came. Tut saith I. B. i'll have the law upon him. But the base crossbiter at last stooped, and to the Tavern they went, where the gentleman did lay his whistle to pawn for money, and there bestowed as much of them as came to ten shillings, and sat drinking, and chatting, until the next morrow. By that the Gentleman had stolen a nap, it waxed day light, and then seeing himself compassed with these cursed Crosbiters, and remembering his night's usage, soberly smile, demanded of them if they could tell who he was, the answered no: why then, quoth he, you base cozening Rogues you shall before we d●● part: and with that drawing his sword, stayed them in the chamber, desiring that the Constable might be sent for: but this bra●e of his could not dismay M. Mall, for she had biddden a sharper brunt before, witness the time of her martyrdom, when upon her shoulders was engraven the history of her whorish qualities: but she replying, swore, sith he was so lusty, her husband should not put it up by no means. I will tell thee thou base crossbiting bawd, quoth he, and you cozening companions, I serve a noble man, & for my credit with him, I refer met to the penalty he will impose on you, for by God I will make you an example to all crosbiters ere I ends with you, I tell you villains, I serve, and with that he named his Lord. When the guilty whores and cozeners heard of his credit and service, they began humbly to entreat him to be good to them: then quoth he, first deliver me my money, they upon that gladly gave him all, and restored the links of his chain. When he had all, he smiled, and swore afresh that he would torment them for all this, that the severity of their punishment might be a caveat to others to beware of the like cozenage: and upon that knock● with his foot, and said he would not let them go till he had a constable. Then in general they humbled themselves, so recompensing the party, that he agreed to pass over the matter, conditionally beside, that they would pay the sixteen shillings h●e had spent in charges, which they also performed. The Gentleman stepped his way, and said, you may see the old proverb fulfilled, Fallere fallentem non est fraus. Thus have I deciphered an odious practice not worthy to be named: and now wishing all, of what estate soever, to beware of filthy lust, and such damnable stale● as draws men on to inordinate desires, and rather to spend their coin amongst honest company, then to bequeath it to such base crosbiters, as pray upon men, like ravens upon dead carcases, I end with this prayer, that Crossbiting and Coney-catching may be as little known in England, as the eating of swine's flesh was amongst the jews. Farewell. Nas●imur pro patria. FINIS. A PLEASANT DISCOVERY of the cozenage of Collier's. ALthough (courteous Readers) I did not put in amongst the laws of cozening, the law of Legering, which is a deceit that Collier's abuse the Commonwealth withal, in having unlawful sacks, yet take it for a petty kind of craft or mystery, as prejudicial to the poor as any of the other two: for I omitted divers other devilish vices: as, the nature of the Lift, the black art and the Kerbing law, which is the filchers and thieves that come into houses or shops, and lift away any thing: or picklocks, or hookers at windows, although they b● a● species and branches to the table be●ore rehearsed. But omitting them, again to our law of Legering. Know therefore that there be inhabiting in and about London, centaine caterpillars (Collier's I should say) that term themselves (●mongest themselves) by the name of Legers, who for that the honourable, the L. Mayor of the city of London, and his officers, look straightly to the measuring of coals, do (to prevent the execution of his justice) plant themselves in and about the Suburbs of London as Shoreditch, White chapel, Southwark, and such places, and there they have a house or yard that hath a back g●te, because it is the more convenient for their cozening purpose, and the reason is this: the Leger, the crafty Collier I mean, riseth very early in the morning, and either goeth towards Croyden, Whetstone, Greenwich or Romford, and there meeteth with Country colliers, who bring coals to serve the m●rket: there in a forestall m●n●er, this Leger bargaineth with the country collier for his coals, and payeth for them nineteen or twenty shillings at the most, but commonly fifteen or sixteen, and there is in the load 36 sacks: so th●t they pay for every couple about fourteen pence. Now having bought 〈◊〉, every sack containing full four bushels, he carrieth the country collier home to his legering place, and there at the ●ack gate causeth him to unload, and, as they say, shoot the coals down. As soon as the country collier hath dispatched and is gone, the leger (who hath three or four hired men under him) bringeth forth his own sacks, which ●re long ●nd narrow, holding at the most not three bushels so t●●t i● the change of every sack they gain a bushel. Tush yet this were somewhat tolerable, although the gain and ●surie is monstrous, but this sufficeth not, for they fill not these sacks full by far, but put into them some tw● bushels ●nd a h●l●e laying in the mouth of the sack certain choice coals, which they call ●ill●●s, to ma●e the sack show fair though the re●t be all sm●ll willow coal, and half dross, Wh●● they have not thus half filled their sacks, but thrust co●les into them, that 〈◊〉 they L●y uppermost is best-filled, to make the greater show: then a tall 〈…〉 that is all raged, and d●rty 〈◊〉 his legs as though he c●me out of the countre● (●or they du●ty their hose and shoo● vp●n purpose ●o make themselves 〈◊〉 country collier's.) Thus with two s●cks a piece they either go out at the back 〈◊〉, or steal out at the street side, and so go up and down the Suburbs, and sell their coals in summer for fourteen and sixteen pence the couple, and in winter for eighteen or twenty. The poor Cools and other Citizens that buy the●, ●●●nke they be country Colliers that have left som● coals of their load, and would gladly have money, supposing (as the Statute is) they be good and lawful 〈…〉 thus o●s●ned by the Legers, and h●ue but two bushels and a half for four bushels, and yet extremely racked in the price, which is not only a great hindrance to her majesties poor 〈◊〉, but greatly prejudicial to the master colliers, that bring sacks and measure out of the country. Then consider (gentle Readers) wh●t a kind of cozenage these legets use, that can make of thirty sacks, some fifty six, which I have 〈◊〉 with 〈◊〉 eyes, for I have set down with my pen how many turns they have made of a load, and they made twenty eight turns, every turn being two sacks: so that they have gotten an intolerable gain by their false measure. I could not be silent seeing this abuse, but thought to reveal it for my country's commodity, and to give light to the worshipful justices, and other her majesties Officers in Midlesex, Surrey, and elsewhere, to look to such a gross● cozenage as contrary to a direct statute, doth defraud and impoverish her majesties poor commons. Well may the Honourable and Worshipful of London flourish, who carefully look to the Country coals, and if they find not four Bushels in every sacks sell them to the poor as forfeit, and distribute the money to such as have need, burning the sacks, and honouring or rather dishonouring the pillory with the Collier's dirty faces: And well may the Honourable and Worshipful of the Suburbs live and prospero, if they look in justice to these Legers, who deserve more punishment than the Statute appoints them, which is whipping at a cart's tail, or with favour the pillory. For fuel or fiering● being a thing necessary in a Commonwealth, and Charcoal used more than any other, the poor not able to buy by the load, are fain to get in their fire by the sack, and so are greatly cozened by the retail. Seeing therefore the careful L●wes her Majesty hath appointed for wealth of her Commons, and secure of the poor, I would humbly entreat all her majesties Officers to look into the life of these legers, and root them out, that the poor● feel n●t the b●●t●en of their unconscionable gains. I heard with mine ears a poor woman of Shordi●h who h●d bought coals of a Leger, with weeping tears complain, and r●yle against him in the street, in her rough eloquence calling hi● cozening knave, s●ying, 'tis no marvel villain (quoth she) if men compare you colliers to the devil, seeing your consciences are worse than the devils: for he takes none but those souls whom God h●tes, and you undo the poor whom God doth love. Wh●t is the matter good wise (quoth I) that you use such invective worde● against the Collyar. A c●lli●r sir (quoth she) he is a thee●e, and a robber of the common people. He tell you sir, I bought of a Country collier two sacks for thirtee● pence, and I bought of this knave three sacks, which cost me 22. pence: & sir● when I measured both their sacks, I had more in the two sacks by 3 pecks, than I had in the three. I would (quoth she) my neighbours would join with ●e in ● supplication, and by God I would kneel before the Queen, and entreat that such cozening Collier's ●●ght not only be punished with the bare pillory (for they have such black faces that no man knows them again, and so are they c●relesse) but that they might leave their ears behind them for a forfeit: and if that would not mend them, th●t Bull with a fair halter might root them out of the world, that live in the world by such gross and dishonest cozenage. The Collier hearing this, w●nt smiling away, because he knew his li●e was not looked into, and the woman wept for anger that she had not some one by that might with justice revenge her quarrel. There be also certain Colliers th●t bring coals to London in Barges, & they be called Gripers, to these comes the Leger, and bargains with him for his coals, and sells by retale with the li●e cozenage of sacks as I rehearsed before. But these mad Legers (not content with this monstrous game) do beside mix among their other sack's o● coals, store of scruffy dust and small coal, to their great advantage. And for proof hereof, I will recite you a matter of truth, lately performed by a Cooke● wi●e upon a cozening Collier. How a Cook's wife in Lhndon did lately serve a Collier for his cozenage. IT chanced this summer that a load of coals came forth of Kent to Billingsgate, and a leger bought them, who thinking to deceive the citizens, as he did those in the Suburbs, furnished himself with a couple of sacks, and comes up S. Mary hill to s●ll them. A Cook's wife bargaynd with the Collier for his coals, and they agreed upon fourteen pence for the couple: which done, he carried in the coals and shot them: And when the wi●e saw them, and perceiving there was scarce five bushels for eight, she calls a little girl to her, and bade her go for the Constable: for thou cozening rogue, quoth she, (speaking to the Collier) I will teach thee how thou shalt cos●n me with thy false sacks, howsoever thou dost others, & I will have thee before my L. Mayor, with that she caught a spit in her hand, and swore if he offered to stir, she would therewith broach him. At which word the collier was amazed, & the fear of the Pillery put him in such a fright, that he said he would go to his boat, and return again to answer whatsoever she durst object against him, & for pledge thereof (quoth the Collier) keep my sacks, your money, and the coals also. Whereupon the woman let him go: but as soon as the Collier was out of doors, it was needless to bid him run, for down he gets to his Boat and away he thrusts from Billingsgate, and so immediately went down to Wapping, and never o●t●r durst return to the Cook's wi●e, to demand either money, sacks, or coals. H●● a flax●wi●e in London s●ru●d a cozening Collier. NOw Gentlemen by your leave, and hear a merry jest. There was in the Suburbs of London a Flax-wife that wanted coals, and seeing a Lege● come by with a couple of sacks, that had before deceived her in like sort, cheped, bargained and bought them, and so went in with her to shoot them in her coalhouse. As soon as she saw her coals, she easily guessed there was scarce six bushels, yet dissembling the matter, she paid him for them and bade him bring her two sacks more. The Collier went his way, and in the mean time the Flax-wife measured the coals, and there was just five bushels & a peck. Hereupon she called in her neighbours, being a company of women that before time had also been pinched in their coals, and showed them the cozenage, and desired their aid to her in tormenting the Collier, which they promised to perform: and thus it fell out. She conveyed them into a back room (some sixteen of them) every one having a good cudgel under her apron, strait comes the Collier and saith, Mistress here be your coals: welcome good Collier (quoth she) I pray thee follow me into the back side, & shoot them in another room. The Collier was content and went with her, but as soon as he was in, the good wife locked the door and the Collier seeing such a ●●oup of wives in the room, was amazed, yet said, God speed you all shrews: welcome (quoth one jolly Dame) being appointed by them all to give sentence against hi●. who so soon as the Collier had sh●● his sacks said: sirrah Collier, know that we are here all assembled as a grand ●●●ie, to determine of thy villainies, for selling us false sacks of coals, and know that thou art here indicted upon cozenage, therefore hold up thy hand at the bar, and either say guilty or not guilty, and by whom thou wilt be tried, for thou must 〈◊〉 condign punishment for the same ere thou depart. The Collier who thought they had but jested, smiled and said, Come on, which of you shall be my judge. M●●●●● sir, quoth one jolly dame, that is I, and by GOD you knave, you sha●●●inde I will pronounce sentence against you severely, if you be found guilty. When the Collier saw they were in earnest, he said, Come, come, open the door and let me go. With that five or six wives started up and fell upon the Collier, and gave him a score of sound lambea●●es with their cudgels, and bade him sp●ake more reverently to their principal. The Collier feeling it smart, was afraid and thought mirth and courtesy would be the best mean to make amends for his villainy, and therefore said he would be tried by the verdict of the smock. Upon this they paneld a jury, and the flax-wife gave evidence; and because this unaccustomed jury required witness, she measured the co●les before the Colliers face, upon which he was found guilty, and she that sat as principal to give judgement upon him, began as followeth. Collier, thou art condemned here by proof of flat cozenage, and I am now appointed in Conscience to give sentence against thee, being not only moved thereunto because of this poor woman, but also for the general commodity of my Country, and therefore this is my sentence: We have no pillory for thee, nor cart to whip thee at, but here I do award that thou shalt have as many bastinadoes as thy bones will bear, and then to be turned out of doors without sacks or money. This sentence being pronounced, she rose up, & gave no respite of time for the execution, but according to the sentence before expressed, all the women fell upon him, beating him extremely, among whom he lent some lusty buffets, but might overcomes right, and therefore Ne Hercules contra duos. The women so crushed him, that he was not able to lift his hands to his head, and so with a broken pa●e or two he was paid, and like lack drum, fair & orderly turned o●t of doors. This was the reward that the Collier had, and I pray God all such Collier's may be so serued● and that good wives when they buy such sacks, may give them su●h payments, and ●hat the Honourable and Worshipful of this land, may look ●nto this gross abuse of Colliers, as well for charity sake, as also for the benefit of the poor. And so wishing Colliers to amend their deceitful and disordered dealings herein, ● end. FINIS.