Bellum Grammaticale.  
¶ A discourse of great war and dissension between two worthy Princes, the Noun and the Verb, contending for the chief place or dignity in Oration.  
Very pleasant & profitable.  
Turned into english by W. H.  
IMPRINTED AT LONDON by Henry Bynneman, dwelling in Knightrider street, at the sign of the Mermaid.  
ANNO 1569.   


GASPAR AVIATUS Cremonensis.  
LEctor candide, quid legis Thyesten?  
Saevas Colchidas? auribus placebunt  
Quae doctus cecinit magis Salernus  
Andreas: dubios movet tumultus  
Verbi & Nominis, hinc & hinc furentum:  
Hunc (Lector) lege, fabulae facessant:  
Hic prompti Ciceronis est facultas:  
Hic sunt ridiculi sales, iocique:  
Quid stas? hunc rigidi legunt Catones.   

HIERONYMUS FONDVLVS etiam Cremonensis.  
Nominis et verbi Lector) stipe sumito bellum,  
Quo pax nulla quidem dulcior esse potest.  
Bella recognosces, quorum sine partibus, hoc est  
Eloquia, omnis homo cederet usque feris.  
Hic iocus Andreae defluxit ab ore Salerni,  
Fluxerunt lepidi cum gravitate sales.   

IDEM.  
Ranarun et murum tam bellè haud ponit Homerus,  
Bella gigantaeas non ita Naso manus,  
Andraeas quanta cum maiestate Salernus  
Ingenij, Bellum Grammaticale canit.   

CHRISTOPHORVS Simonetus.  
Haec legat, & memori teneat certamina ment●  
Grammaticus, terso qui volet ore loqui.    

Ad Lectorem.  

Disce Puer, quando tempus permittit, & ipsa  
Rectè discendi causa parata datur.  
Ordine tunc tua res poterit procedere recto,  
Si bene cunctorum singula facta notes.   

Adsis ergo (Lector) si sit tibicura Latini  
Fac properes dulceis imbibiturus aquas:  
Aurea fluctifero sunt mersa monilia ponto,  
Virtus ast nunquam mergier ulla potest.    

Lectori.  

Sith Time permits, refuse not, nor disdain  
to learn a right such things as here be found:  
For why? this Author first herein did take the pain,  
hereby to show of Grammar rules the ground.  
In order good thy works will then appear,  
and from right rule not seem to serve a jot.  
If all the acts of these achieved here  
accordingly thou well thou do weigh and note.  
Come nigh therefore (I say) and take a taste  
of pleasant liquors here detected plain,  
If that thou covet speedily in haste,  
of Latin style to choose the fruitful grain:  
For all things fade, as brooches, gold and stone,  
when virtue swims, and escapes to shore alone.    

To the right worshipful Master Thomas Paul esquire, Clerk of the Crown in the Queen's majesties honourable Court of Chancery, and one of the Six Clerks of the same, William Hayward wisheth health, with long life and prosperity.  
AS Seneca shamed not to recite the worthy saying of the Poet Hesiodus, so I doubt not, but I may also (from so susscient authority, as by Seneca himself in a certain Epistle by him alleged) partly seem to overthrow that most horrible monster Ingratitude, and thoroughly to displace so unnatural affection before he shall by entertainment in so simple an one as I, (not able to be thankful) cause any part of oblivion for the benefits that have been towards me in any part extended: For (as I remember) he saith: Nullum efficium magis quàm referenda gratia, necessarium, that no duty is more necessary than rendered thanks to those that have ministered such ample benefits as some have bestowed: and to render thanks (saith he) with greater measure than they used to receive commodities. For as Cicero saith Lib. 1. de officijs, If rendered thanks be due to such of whom we hope to be benefited, how much more than is due to those by whom we have had already profit? Which albeit that I of myself in every point am most unable to do, yet good will of overmeasuring (if possibility were in me) shall not seem utterly to be absent, neither thinking that I can or am able to make any show of remuneration, and for that my insufficiency is such as it is, it might seem on my part but presumption to attribute any such worthiness unto him, that is altogether void of desiring any such pre-eminence. Yet among diverse and sundry practices that by my poor industry I have attempted, considering that commodity and friendly aid that your worship hath procured by your laborious travail toward that company, of which I am a member: and then weighing my great unability to requite in any way the least part of your manifold courtesies, I was dismayed to represent in this place any part of them, lest I should seem of the wise too gréede of commendation. But being emboldened with your favourable benevolence, and accustomed courteous lenity employed towards all men: and making bold of your wonted good will, that is, (and ever hath been) ready to accept a simple thing proffered and freely given, rather than to reject & cast off that which is merely grounded of poor simplicity, after I had perused the rabble of my poor labours, found among them this one, which then I was encouraged to dedicate unto your gentleness, not for the worthiness thereof as concerning my labour, but considering your worship's mind often times with serious matters to be encumbered both in carefulness toward the weal public according to your office, as also for the benefits of such poor men as I. Some thing therefore after your earnest business, to revive and recreate your wearied mind with honest learned and profitable mirth, I have presumed to offer this my little labour unto your learned ears, it being the first fruits of an unproined orchard, in reading whereof, notwithstanding the unsavoury sap of sundry water boughs) may appear both learned and fruitful matter. And therefore I chief took upon me to translate the same out of the french tongue, as erst it was, for the like pleasure and pithiness cause turned from out of Latin into French, in which tongue it was first (by a right learned and famous man) written and invented. In which devise is contained a most perfect show of horrible and bitter contentions in the most fertile region and country of Grammar, by variance that grew betwixt two high and mighty Princes, possessors of the same, the Noun and the Verb. Nomen, with his Substantives, and adjectives, Commons and Propers: with also the nobles of the house of masculines, with the worthiness of the Genealogy of Feminines, Neutres, doubtfulles, and Epicines, the Heteroclites, with their noble Captains, and Gentlemen, the Defectives, and Redundantes, with his most mighty brother the pronoun, and his sworn stout warriors the Gentiles. Again Verbum with his nobles, with the Participles, Modes and Tenses, with Gerunds & Supins, in the great field of Conjunctions contending where they met for superiority in government. Wherein although but spoke Allegoricè, or rather written by the figure Hypothesis, showeth in part the troubles of a feigned Common weal by intestine and Civil contention sprung up in the same. With such pleasant Metamorphosis and ardent Allegories the ancient Poets used to beautify their works, as Demosthenes, who used such covert fable against Philip, that required ten of the Athenienses Orators) saying how the Wolf persuaded and besought the Shephierdes to tie up their Dogs, and so to joined with them in friendship. Which when the shepherds had granted, the Wolf then as it were with a covered & licenced crafty cruelty spoiled their flocks. So wrote Esope, Horace, & divers other, which although but in part as Fables, (as this after a sort is) is yet in some respect duly to be noted, as Saint Ambrose affirmeth, saying: Ei si fabula vim veritatis non habeat, tamenrationem habet, ut juxta eam veritas manifestari possit: that is: Although a fable have not the strength of the truth, yet hath it a reason, that by it the truth may be uttered. Such was the manner of philosophers, as Aulus Gellius saith, to allure men's minds to the understanding of the truth, which thing now as it is but feigned, yet knowing it to be devised of so learned a man at the first, thought with myself, that those which had capacity might reap some fruit of his travellous toils. And again, supposing that if the same were englished, some might the easilier gather the sense of the first author. Therefore as the translator thereof out of Latin did for the recreation of a noble parsonage labour in the same, so I for the pleasant profit of sundry of my country men, so duly as I could after my precedent, turned it into English. And therefore as first and chiefest (it being also the first of my labours) I exhibit it to your worship, not as a gift (for any part of my deserving) worthy to be received: but by way of duty offered, of mere good will, making you the patron of this my first enterprised attempt: choosing rather to suffer the reproach of the wise and the curious carping check of Momus and his mates, with the pernicious taunt of privy parasites, than to seem altogether oblivious of my duty, and so be accounted ingrateful. Which poor and slender thing if it please your worship to receive with a friendly aspect at my simple hands: your favourable encouragement shall hereafter procure me to finish some greater effect to the benefit of my Countrymen (I mean such as are desirous to employ their labour in reading:) And in especially to manifest Gods doing in me, whom in the mean season I beseech to conduct and guide your goodness forth in that well doing that he hath already begun in you (in the suppression of godless games, the very nurse of noughtiness: the sufferance of which are the decay of Common wealths, the corruption of youth, the breach of brotherhood and all true dealing.) I cease to speak of such singularity as all men shall see ensue of your daily endeavours, and of that due commendation that may be said of your Princely practice, that maintainer of honest exercise: whereof right worthily your worship is master, being a most perfect precedent in that practice (I mean of that laudable ancient and noble science of Shooting in the Long bow) for every one to follow in effect. The necessary use whereof, how needful it is to be looked to, how beneficial the use thereof hath been to this our country, how dangerous the neglecting thereof is, and how hurtful the lack of using the same of our youth in England hath been, is too apparent. The almighty ease us, whom I beseech so to endue you with present consolation hoped for in Christ, in this life your days may be long: And that after this life, your lot (as David sayeth) may fall in a good ground that is, in Life everlasting. Amen.  
Your worship's daily wellwisher. William Hayward.   

The Preface upon the historical discourse of the Grammar war, first made in Latin by the learned Lord Andrew Guarna of Salerne, and after translated into French, and now for the worthiness of the history turned into English.  
THe first and ancient Philosophers that wrote their Poesies covertly hidden under subtle and wily matter, did constitute Pallas the daughter of jupiter, borne in her Sovereign head to be goddess of wisdom said Minerva, and of war, called Enyo or Bellona. giving hereby to understand that of one and the same beginning, in one time altogether and in one substance are two principal things inseparately joined together: which two properties are so knit, that the one without the other is of no force, and the other without his fellow, of small or no account: Yea, they are the principles whereby men attain to the top of honour, and famous felicity, advancing mean men to honour in their life time, and immortal fame after death. They are learning and martial prowess. Of these two together Noble Grece made separation in his two Metropolitans when the City of Athens flourished in learning, and the city of Sparta or Lacedemonia glorious in feats of arms. The noble fame of the Romans grew by the one, and by the other they did always defend them, so that they did successively greatly set store by them. The worthy, valiant, and mighty Eloquent Caesar was decored with them both, and by them did eternize his Renown. Behold (gentle Reader) now these two so worthy things, which are no less principals to the government of Empires, Realms, Reipublikes, and for all estates of the world to be aptly understood, which did so much ennoble Grece, so greatly honour the Romans, and eternize the fame of the great Caesar, are in this present small volume comprised, compact together by the industrious and pleasant Artifice of the first Author, under an angry Argument, and Historical narration of the Grammar war, of this pleasant and figured history, no less profitable than delectable. Lucian an eloquent Greek Author made the first draughts in the battle of the Alphabet letters: but this Author hath waded further even unto verbs and Nouns, being principal heads of Oration, and to the adherents of speech, aswell to the congruate word, (being the opener and the declarative of the sense) as otherwise, wherein resteth all art and knowledge, wherein also all the wisdom of man is comprised: shaping and fourming these two heads, and the auxiliate aiding parties with such feigned personages and pretty properties so apt and to them so quick in quality, that he giveth life, body, weapon and armour to dead words, yea, and sounding voice, to substances inanimate and without soul: so that the Reader in the lecture of this (though feigned) narration and dreadful discovery, shall deem them no more to be vocal words, but by a strong judgement shall think them dapperlye disguised, being transformed into lively person, going, speaking, and sharply reasoning with continual terrors of martial expedition and exploits, with allegorical conflicts of bloody battle, not only in hostile contention abroad, but also in civil, yea, and intestine Wars at home: so that in the discovery hereof he is nothing oblivious of any thing that appertaineth to the deduction and safe guiding of so great affairs, even from the first causes and intermixed medleys of their adventures, unto the last end of all their attempts and endeavours, with all their circumstances, all their tumults and uproars, with their doubtfulness of victory among many martialistes, how of bloody battle divers loss and dangers do follow, and how in the end final peace ensueth. All which matters be so properly penned, and so cunningly compact in this tragedy, that the wars of the Peloponnenses, and the civil wars of the africans in Thucide, in Sallust, & Lucan, are peradventure more high and diffusedlye described: But with more art or more compendiously, I am sure they are not. So that it is soothly to be said, that our Author through the excellency of his learned wisdom, doth as the good Geometricians do, which the invincible greatness of the heavens & the earth do reduce in a simple circuit, describing the same in a small sphere or manuel compass. So he hath placed the mighty, huge, and fearful facts of arms under the figure of so small a thing as of the congruity or discordance of words in oration, joining letters with weapons, teaching the art militaire with the art litteraire, so well, and so exactly, that the reader beside the delight and pleasure that he shall have in the reading of so pleasant an Allegory, shall receive further benefit: for herein is represented in one conteipt two understandings knit together, the one proper and natural, the other tropic and figured. Beside this, he shall comprehend in this same very substance and by the only labour of one reading, those two so worthy things above remembered, that do eternize the fame of their fellows, that is lovers of learning, and prudent martialistes. The science litteraire, and militaire, that is to say, the art of Grammar, yea the grandmother of all arts and sciences, and the art militaire of deduced wars, under pleasant Metaphorical figures, transported and turned, bereaving the mind of the literal understanding of small things verbal, to the consideration of greater, more royal and real, doth manifestly show by example the ambitious movings, the imperiate desire of princes to have government, the tumults and partialities of peoples, the profitable and perverse counsel of sundry counsellors, the seemly sentences, and modest messages of the artificial errands on both parts, their enterprised attempts & martial orders, the somoning of soldiers, the charts of defiance, the denouncing of Heralds, the high and stately stomachs of the adverse parties ready to join Battle, the seeking of alliance in extremity, the compact confederated of countrymen, the flights, treasons, espies, ambushments their sudden entrappes and skirmishes, the ordinances of arms, the placing of the camp, the pitching of their arrays, the noble cheeering of the captains to their soldiers, the taking of towns, the marching of their men, the cruel conflicts and worthy feats of arms on all sides, the lamentable loss of Captains, the cruel combat of the fighters, the great slaughter on both parts, the fearful flying on all sides, the doubtful meetings of many, the indifferency of their victory, and the final pernicious accidents that ensue through the wars to both sides, the robbing, the reaving, the rapme and disorder that is then in ure, the depopuling of inhabitate countries, the desolate destruction that divers are damnified by the commodities and advantages that one realm enjoyeth through the detriment of an other: and contrarily the infinite utilities that ensue, thorough peace and concord, to all realms and reipublikes. All which things are by wonderful cunning, and pleasant figures, by most exquisite rule and perfect method, treated summarily in this book, first written in his own and pure Latin tongue, and after (for the pleasure and profit that therein may be gathered) was translated into our english tongue, through the commandment of a learned parsonage, one who is no less a lover of learning, than virtuous in condition, who for the worthiness of his example is to be followed as a meet patron of humane courtesy.  
Wherefore (gentle reader) when thou art delighted with the profitable lecture of this historical discourse, attribute the thankfulness of thy good will to be the causer of this english translation, wherein albeit that there be not the same sweetness in our phrase that it hath in his own tongue, yet I doubt not but it shall seem that I digress but easily from mine Author: For as the learned know, it is an absurd and hard matter in this treatise properly to english the greatest part of those words that touch the argument in apt phrase correspondent to the Latin, sithence the same could not be done by a learned translator into the french, which tongue doth nearer appropriate it than ours: Therefore whereas of some I may be thought little to alter in translation from the latin Author, therein may the Reader judge me to follow the French phrase who is my patron partly in most of my translation, and when I shall seem in any point to digress from the french translator, I do it the nearer to follow the first Author, so that the Reader I hope will judge indifferently of my doings. Wherefore in my translation I thought it requisite (yea, and also no less necessary) to leave the most part of the words of this argument in their own tongue, especially for that this discourse of the Grammar war was made upon the Grammar of the latin tongue first, and not of the french. What will it then avail (will some say) to have translated it into english? whereto in the first place it may thus be answered, that for that it was the free good will of the translator, that in his labour on this behalf thought not to offend, neither to do wrong or displeasure to any, but that through his mean the simple and unlearned english readers, aswell as the learned latinists, might enjoy part of the pleasure that is had in the lecture of this delectable discourse of this figured war, and bloodless battle, without mortal shot, sweat or Cannon powder. And furthermore that his meaning was, for the utility of our english children beginning to study the latin tongue, who reading this pleasant fight in their own tongue (as the French in theirs) might learn by way of mirth and merry pastime, the principal points of the Roman Grammar: Finally the same might serve for an exempler aswell historical for the instruction and guide of martial affairs, as moral, therein to consider the harms that ensue thorough the dissension of Princes and great Lords, parents, kinsmen or neighbours, how the commonalties of realms and countries can not easily profit in any wealth and abundance, without traffic and quiet passages one to another, and how dissension procureth diverse dangerous damages to them and theirs: Showing also on the other side the singular benefits that peace procureth, what commodities are enjoyed by the uniformity of kings & Princes reigning in one regiment or country lovingly together in one faith, law, and tongue, friendly as one: which things (as I suppose) are the principal causes why this book was first compiled by mine author, which by chance happening into my hands, and by me over red, to my singular delight in both tongues, determined with myself to participate part of my understanding to the youth of my nation, thorough the request of a friend, who might have commanded me. Wherefore if I espy the friendly receipt hereof, in no less grateful part, than it was friendly favoured of some, I shall be the readier encouraged to bid thee hereafter to some better banquet, in the mean while let the courteous reader use a friendly guests part, not misliking any thing that is set freely before him. And albeit that this my translation be not so exquisitely englished on my part as many better learned can do, yet in consideration of my painful good will, I doubt not your friendly receipt of the same. And though that the french tongue (whereout I extracted this work) in adages and brief terms have an easier conclusion of speech than our english tongue, yet let the Reader be assured what soever terms be altered (if any be) the matter is perfit, pleasant and profitable to the reader, and much matter contained in this small Book, both of delight and delicate liking, such as the gentle reader may gather great fruit, wisdom, and worthiness by, if he apply his diligence thereunto. And for my part I bestowed my labours in this behalf, not to win fame or favour, but to bestow my leisures well and to fruitful exercise, to the benefit of my country men, and to encourage those that can do better to the like exercise. And if any unfit words happen to be espied of better and more eloquent heads, yet I trust that such will not condemn a good work, for an ill writer, neither a good word for an ill speaker. What or how effectual matter is contained in this Book, in the sequel is manifest.  
Farewell.   

¶ The discourse of the Grammar war: between two Kings, the Noun, and the Verb, contending for the chief place in Oration, wherein thou shalt see the Verb to prevail.  
THere is none so simple in judgement, that doubteth the soil of the Grammar to be the fairest & happiest of all the renowned parts & provinces of the world, aswell for the pleasantness of the place wherein it is situate, being in good and holsesome air, and abundant in all fruits and other good things, without which this mortal life may not easily be passed: As also for that she hath always and ever, been the Nurse and bringer up of all people of renown. For even as in this age, even so long time heretofore, the custom and manner ever was in all lands and countries (except among the rude and barbarous nations) where any were espied of prone and ready nature, bend toward forward wit, they were sent thither to be taught and instructed, and perfectly to learn the most holy and learned sciences: For by this only way and passage is the entry and access to the highest countries, and noble houses, as Dialectice (that is Rhetoric) Philosophy, that is learned wisdom, & Theology, that is the most high and excellent knowledge in divinity. In so much that unless they enter thorough the Province of Grammar, no soul were able to attain to the worthy secrets of the other provinces. And albeit that the same Regions abound in all pleasure, yet not withstanding, it is so environed about with high mountains, and such sharp rocks, right difficile and hard to be got up upon, that hardly without a good guide, any may ever attain to the plain and pleasant path of them. And therefore because mankind should not be restrained from so necessary a benefit, the good and laudable custom ever was, and yet resteth to the kings of the said land, to send abroad through every part of the universal world, some of their expert knights and worthy Captains of old bands, properly called Pedagoges & School masters, that they might aid others, and surely conduct them of tender age to the princely palaces of the said kings, (as for the mighty, and such as now draw toward age, hardly suffer to be taught of any,) to the end that the youth there being taught in the sciences of the Greek and Latin Minerva, might the easilier and more lightly ascend and go over the foresaid countries. There have all learned Greeks and Latins made their apprentishode, who by their worthy writings, or by the act of others, are immortalised with renowned fame. Being there thus well taught and learned, they have afterward so florishinglye lived through the high praise of their illustrious and splendent acts, that they living, were unto all men in their time great setters forth of virtuous examples and after they were dead (yet as alive) showed to those that survived the as it were by pointing with their finger, the right path and ready way to attained honourable life, & immortal fame▪  
But although that this land of Grammar be none other but indevidate and without partiality, yet nevertheless there are two mighty kings, that there reign and govern, that is to weet, the Verb and the Noun. The Verb hath to name Amo, and the Noun Poeta. Who a very long time reigned together in such concord and quietness, that to form Oration perfect, wherein the beauty of them both (the highest place of the one, and the chiefest seat of the other) dependeth no dissension, displeasure or contention was ever heard between them: For in all their territory there grew nothing more esteemed, more worthy, or more sound, than Oration, which being beautified with the most colours of sundry flowers, and decked with the most fair and fine figures, and with the most sweet & perfumed Buds of set Roses, was of such singular comeliness and authority, that she not only drew unto her all mankind (when the same is right and aptly applied) but may also withdraw any of the Gods which way she will wind them. By reason whereof Euripides saith. That which force could not gain, that fair speech did soon attain: Pyrrhus also used sometime to say, that Cyneas did win more towns with his tongue and comely speech, than he with his wars. These two kings then being in such concord, as all the affairs of Grammar were in good appearance and better estate, it happened that for a small thing dissension sprang between them, whereby upon a very sudden, all was bewrapped in uproar and martial displeasures: For what harm is that that wine & insatiate eating cause not? That and so great amity and union between these two Princes was so overthrown at one only banquet, wherein they were both drunken: and ebriety set them in so great ennimities one against another, that either of them, pricked forward with ambitious desire of regiment (as wild Bulls slong of gad flies) almost utterly ever turned their own realms, and the noble empire of Grammar.  
But now let us show how their debate happened, to the end that every one may know, that there is no band or knot of amity so strong, that desire of superiority may not break. And therefore the old Dennis used not causeless to say, that even he that hath the Lordship in his lap, hath cause himself to fear, and to beware of friends: seeing that it is certain, that every man loveth rather to be served, than to serve other.  
As these two Kings on a time were at a banquet, in the midst of the hot Summer, near to a pleasant & clear spring, having the water bank on the one side, and the other most pleasant and singularly shadowed with the branches of green Willows & high Plane trees, after they had sufficiently banqueted, warmed with wine, and lightened with drinking, a question arose between them, to weet, whether of them two were greatest in authority & of most importance to perform Oration? Then the Verb minding to hold the worthiest place, was sharply withstood of the Noun, affirming, that without him, Oration and speech might not be, & that through him altogether, the same is understood and of better grace. And what dost thou (said he) without me in Oration? if I withhold me a part never so little, the hearers understand thee no more than one that were dumb & spoke not. Gather awhile a small part of speech without me, and do that the hearers may understand that which thou speakest. Doubtless if I be not there for an Interpreter, none may so much as guess the least thing of thy meaning, Moreover thou shouldest note, that in so much as I am elder than thou, so much more am I approved worthiest. Who is he that knoweth not the Noun, before the Verb: Or who is he that is ignorant, how the beginning of the Noun is more ancient than the Verb? It is infallible, that God made all things, who if he made all, made also the Verb. Now God is a Noun and not a Verb: wherefore now of consequence, by the Noun were all things made, yea, Oration itself was made of God, and so the Noun. As for thee, O thou Verb (that art so proud) thou hast thy calling of me: hast thou never read, that among the Sons of Women, is not a greater than john Baptist? this is God's sentence, it is not lawful to go against it. Wherefore if none be greater than john, for that it is written that his name is john, and again that his name was john, it is apparent to be seen, that there is not, neither may any thing else, be greater than the Noun. I could allege to this matter six hundredth places, whereby it is proved clearer than the day, that as in worthiness and antiquity, even so in authority & chief place the Noun is preferred before the Verb. All which things I set and leave a part, to the end that men think me not to precede the Verb more thorough much babbling, than of just cause. O Poeta (answered the Verb) I marveled before now, why that Divine Plato had expulsed thee out of his common Weal: But now knowing how shameless and light thou art, so to intermix the holy scripture among thy follies: I know well that the learned & wise Plato judged rightly of thee. For had not he exiled thee with many other, forth of the reipublike that he ordained, thou hadst by thy false ceremonies, fearful Gods, and other things corrupted the civil manners of his citizens. For what pernicious thing durst not thy great pride & arrogance, enterprise and attempt? Yea seeing that by thy devised deceipts, and false writhed witnesses, thorough force writhed from holy scripture, thou labourest to cast me down from the dignity of the chiefest place, which I have long time in this land possessed.  
But certainly, for that it shall not seem to thee, that thou alone art learned, I will easily allege more manifest and plain testimonies of the same holy scripture that maintain mine authority, I will set here for most the very beginning of that evangelical Scripture, where it is thus said. In the beginning was the word, and the word was with GOD, and God was the word. Open thine ears now, wherefore hidest thou thy face so? God (said he) was the word, and moreover, all things are made by him: And without him nothing was made. It is not therefore the Noun then that made all things, but the Verb. Again, god was a Verb and not a Noun. Moreover, by the word the Heavens were made firm and sure, and all their powers.  
What wilt thou now say? There is no mean to defend thee by holy allegations, but thou mayst perceive them to make for me, and not for thee. But let us bend to those points that aptliest tend to our cause: Tell me I pray thee, whence cometh to thee this folly and madness? And whence hast thou so suddenly taken such stomach and heart of grace, that thou darest usurp upon thee the worthiest place in Oration? Knowest thou not that all comeliness, beauty and sweetness cometh of me alone? and that the Noun is always ruled of the Verb, & not that the Verb is ruled of the Noun. The comely featness of the Verb is that, that beautifieth and enricheth Oration: and if I govern thee not therein, thou shalt be half handed and of no force. Knowest thou how to make a construction, wherein forthwith the chief place is not given me? Behold all men know, that I only that hold the signiory over the Verbs, can without the aid of any other make perfect Oration. Wherefore then speakest thou so impertinently? And (as Horace sayeth) why throwest thou so thy proud and disdainful six cornered words? who art thou? what art thou? of what force? or how great? not of such authority as thou boastest of I am sure, that so goest puffed and swollen, that it is marvel thou burstest not in the midst. I am (thou wilt say) the King of the Nouns. But what is thy name? thou wilt answer Poeta. And what is Poeta other then a prattler, a seller of gauds, a deviser of fables, a master of mischief, a brabbler, a Liar, a dronckerd, & a foolish dolt, that coloreth that which is truth, and putteth forth falsehood, and such a one as by thy prattling, fillest and perturbest all the world. Which also by thy chat usurpest so much authority among the common and simple sort, that thou darest strive for the dignity against the renowned stock of the Verbs. Foolishly do those fathers that give thee their children to be taught of: for what is in thee whereby the youth may be encited to grace and virtuous encoragement, but the Stews of the adulterous jupiter, the jealousy of juno, and the whoredom of Venus, and of the Ruffian Mars, and such goodly devices imagined of thine own brain, that having drunk a little more than well, thou, as filled with a divine ghost, and overladen with wine, madlike or devilishly, darest mix heaven with earth, & earth with heaven.  
At these words Poeta the King, all fired in Ire, not able to suffer the shame nor the injury that was said of him, answered thus: O thou most mischievous head of man, darest thou speak so boldly such contentious things of us? And there withal caught a Cup in his hand, which had violently hit him on the face, had not one of the standers by, (holding him by the arm) turned the stroke a part. It is not to be doubted now, that in the rage wherein both parts were then, but that words were no blows: but certain of the elder sort and wisest came upon the same, and they bore away the said kings all drunken into their Palaces: and on the morrow after that the friends of the parties were assembled, there was great inquiry and disputation of the contention happened the day before. Then of the part of the Nouns was sharply blamed, the open throat & unbeseeming talk of the king of Verbs, & the most part of the Nouns, especially the younger of them, marvelously muttered, saying that the tongue of King Amo ought to be tamed, and to give him to understand, that the mighty majesty of the Nouns was never subject to such reproach and contumely.  
But although the Elders that were then there present, especially Terence, admonished them that nothing might be unadvisedly done, but that it was requisite rather first to take counsel than weapon in that point, following the wiser sort: yet not withstanding, all the Nouns with their King, were so fleshed to fight, that it was forthwith fully determined and accorded to offer battle to the Verbs: And thereupon was sent forth a Trumpet to the King Amo, assuredly to denounce and indict open war against him. On the Verbs part was no wiser counsels held, for when all their nobility were come together, there was nothing else treated of among them, than to defend the dignity of the Verbs in the land of Grammar, and to depress & throw down the pride of the Nouns. And behold, hereupon came the harold of the King Poeta, who diligently declared the charge of his errand. They answered, that with good will they received the defiance, and from thence forward all their minds were bend wholly toward martial affairs. afterward the King of Verbs sent trumpets and messengers to all nations and lands that were under his signiory, commanding that all such as were able to bear weapon, should be found ready in good order at the day assigned.  
First before all other came Quando the Duke of adverbs, with six of his Captains, Vbi Quo unde Qua Quorsum and Quousque. Quorsum and Quousque were companied with their bands, and under the first Ensign were these renowned Champions. Hic Illic Isthic Intus Fores Ibi Ibidem Sicubi Alicubi Alias Alibi Vsque and Nusquam. Under the second, Huc Illuc Istuc Intro Foras Alio Nequo Aliquo Siquo Illo Eo and Eodem. Under the third, Hac Illac Istac Alia Nequa Illa and Eadem. Under the fourth, Horsum Illorsum Istorsum Introrsum Extrorsum Dextrorsum Sinistrorsum Aliorsum Aliquorsum and Deorsum. Under the fift, Hactenus, Hucusque, Eousque Vsquemodo and Vsque nunc. To the sixth band the captain himself bore the ensign, marching in the midst of his men, so that two of the said bands were in the forward, and the other three at the tail.  
Many other adverbs served for forerunners, and these discovered the ways and served for Partisans, the rest covered the wings and kept that the bands marched not out of array. The names of them are Peregre Pone Super Supra Inter Infra Extra Citra and Vltra, with many other. After them came other adverbs great of quality, quantity & number, among whom were those hideous swearing adverbs: as Aedipol Enimuero Ecastor Mediussidius & Profecto. Also the calling adverbs as Heus etc. the answerers as Hem. The laughers as, Ha Ha Herald The denying adverbs, Minime & Nequaquam: which Nequaquam, albeit he were valiant & greatly trained up in the wars, was yet notwithstanding the most untrue and deceiptfullest of them all, and would never say truth but thorough constraint: The Greeks called him Holophant, which is as much as altogether a denier, or deceitful interpreter: Many more things could I report of this Ruffler Nequaquam, that most dangerous and hurtful beast, but because that the words at these days are not in common term I willingly cease of them, believing doubtless that it is lost labour to warn the Sheep how he ought to keep him out of the wolves danger. Now these adverbs were armed with three kind of armure, for they had kind for a buckler, signification for an headpiece, and figure for a sword. Many other adverbs came to the aid of their King as Indicatives, Frequentatives, Meditatives, Diminutives & Denominatives, with their bands, which were not to be contemned. The mighty lord of Nouns animales (being Nouns out of rule, that bear great sway and lordship in the borders of Grammar) were not last and hindmost: doubtless worthy men of War, but yet not able to hold their array: they are called, Sum Volo Fero and Edo. By reason whereof it was permitted them to pitch their tents in any part of the Camp where they would, lest they might raise uproar among the soldiers. The nation of the Verbs defectives came also thither very brave, and in goodly order, Memini, Novi, Cepi and Odi: Also Vale Salue Aio Inquit Faxo Cedo, being all armed point device ready to join battle. After them followed all the Verbs actives, clothed in bone and bravery, with also the Neuters, with the Deponents, Commons & Impersonals: All of them of sundry forms and strange languages, & were armed with Genders Tenses Moods Kinds Persons and Numbers.  
The King Amo after he had thus assembled his host, pitched his camp in the wide plains of Conjunctions, in a place called Copula, & encamped his host there, near to the host of Disiunctives called Sine: And divided his Host into four conjugations, giving to every of them a meet place (except to certain familiar Verbs who were encharged to bear the Baggage of the infinitives: Their names are, Incipit, Desinit, Debet, Vult, Potest, jubet, Audet, Nititur, Tentat and Dignatur, with such like: this office was assigned them, for that they were willing thereto, and had sturdy strength and ability. Last of all came certain Verbs extract from high place, and of great dignity, as Pluit Ningit Fulgurat Tonat Fulminat & Aducsperascit: bringing with them certain bands of their most worthy Champions: But the Gerunds with the Supines, forsaking the Nouns, came and yielded to the Verbs.  
When Poeta King of Nouns heard the great preparation of his adversary, fearing to be surprised with some sudden alarm, if he abode the fury and force of his enemies without purveyance to defend him, commanded all the Subjects of his Realm, that in the spediest manner they might, they should make themselves ready to be in the field armed, and so aptly equipped, as in best wise were possible for them. Then to the aid of the king of Nouns, first came the Dukes of the Pronouns, as the nearest kinsmen, who for the most part were often times Princes Ego, Tu, Tui, being of the Blood royal, & of the stock of the Arsacides, with whom were, Meus Tuus Suus Noster and Vester, Nostras and Vestras, Ille Ipse Iste Hic and Haec. All the Pronouns were parted in many forms, and under sundry Ensigns. Some were Primatives, other Derivatives, some possessives, and some gentiles. After them came the right worthy Articles, who had a long time haunted the wars, of which the first was Hic Haec Hoc: The second Hic et Haec: the third Hic et hac et hoc, armed with Genders, Numbers, Figures, persons, and Cases. After them came the grand Captains of Interrogatives, infinitives, & Relatives, Quia qui que quod vel quid: and these joined to the host. These were the general referenders of all the land of the king of Nouns, with whom were all the Relatives and demonstratives, divided into two bands: that is to weet, in Idenditie, and diversity. In the first were, Is Suus Ipse Ille Idem. In the second, Caeter Alius Reliquus and Alter. The Prince of the accidental relatives was Qualis, under whom fought Quantus quot quotuplex quatenus quotenus quotisuriam cuias & cuigena. The Queen of the Prepositions called Ad, came thither also with Ab & In, the husbands of Nouns Casuals, & they brought with them three Ensigns of worthy Amazons. Under the first were A ab abs cum coram clam de ê ex pro prae palam sine absque tenus, which served to the Ablative Cases. Under the second were Ad apud ante adversum adversus cis citra circum circa contra erga extra inter intra infra juxta ob pone per propter prope secundum post trans ultra praeter supra circiter usque secus penes, all serving to the accusative cases: But In sub supra and subter served to both cases, to weet, to the Ablatives, aswell as to the Accusatives. Under the third were, Di dis re se an con, whose office was to purvey potation for the soldiers, for it was then Lent. Who albeit they were by composition inseparable, lest they should at any time be void of that was enjoined them, were yet so inconstant, that sundry times they clave to the Nouns, & some while to the Verbs: and therefore they were accounted the common rogues of the camp.  
Now the Nouns thus divided by bands, marched in goodly array, that is to weet, the Substantives, likewise the adjectives, Nouns proper, appellatives, and participles: After whom were the brave and rich comparatives, superlatives, possessives, patronymiques, gentiles, (which were noble) numerals, and multiplying, which governed the outward borders. Every of them were divided by five declinations, to weet, by the first, the second, the third, the fourth and fift, and they were all armed with kinds, genders, number, figures and cases. All the said bands reduced in one, Poeta the King of the Nouns, carried his host into the same plain of conjunctions, and pitched his camp on the other side of the said river Sine: So that between both the hosts was nothing but the River: By reason whereof, sundry times there happened sharp skirmishes, between those that went there to the water, notwithstanding yet without open battle, for that had both the Kings forbidden, because all needful necessaries for the wars, were not yet very ready.  
Now either of these Kings coveted to induce to his part the Participle: a man doubtless of very great authority through all the land of Grammar, yea, in puissance and dignity, altogether next & nearest the King: who without doubt was able also to cause victory to whether side he would wind him. By reason of this, aswell the Verb as the Noun, left nothing unassayed, either of them hoping to have him on their side. Poeta the king of Nouns putting forth foremost, wrote to him in this manner. I doubt not (O my brother) but that thou knowest with what pride and puffed stomach Amo the King of the Verbs is risen against me, and against the dignity of Nouns, and by what law I mind to occupy the chiefest seats to construe oration: For which thing, seeing that the same doth so much move and displease me, I am forced to take arms and set soldiers in the field, that his pride being beaten down, we may keep our signiory in his right, uncorrupted. And sithence thou knowest how much thou art bounden to the nation of the Nouns, and what great benefit thou hast received of us, as genders and cases, numbers and figures: Thou shalt therefore do a work worthy of thy faithfulness and friendship, if with thy men of war and thy soldiers, thou come to join with us to defend our common Titles, our common riches, and common hope. For if the dignity and lordship of Nouns be destroyed, think not thou to find any sure place in all the land of Grammar, and so far well: Beseeching thee to set forward thy coming in the spediest wise thou mayest.  
On the other side, Amo the King of Verbs wrote to the said Participle in this wise. I know very well (O dear brother) how thou art by our enemies very instantly solicited to be on their part, to war against us: And albeit that we have hope, that by thy singular wisdom thou wilt not do any thing so rash or unadvisedly, yet nevertheless it seemeth good unto us, to admonish and advertise thee, that thou consider in thyself, what commodities thou hast received of us, and what increase of dignity the Verbs have made thee, in making thee partaker of their Tenses and significations, Numbers and figures. And if thou hast any small benefit of the Nouns, those that thou receivest of us are much more, yea and also greater. Thou shalt therefore do best if thou repair to our happy fold, not alone to keep and defend us, and the lordship of the Verbs, but also thou thyself, and thine. For thus think with thyself, that if I have the worst, mine enemies will not withhold them from running upon thy lordship and turn their victorious arms (which God forbidden) against thee: that they all alone may with their mad will run in and spoil all the land of Grammar. Farewell.  
The Participle after that he had red the said letters of the two kings, thought now of the one, then of the other, and had sundry thoughts in his head, considering with himself that he could hold part with neither of them, without great and evident loss of his own goods. Contrarily if he should seem to minister, he might not only enjoy the favour of them both, but also that he rather wished, to see them low brought thorough the hazard of the wars, that they being destroyed, he might afterward alone without resistance, possess the said land of Grammar: and therefore thought good to dissemble, feeding them with fair words, until he knew who should have the better, therefore he wrote to them in this manner. I have most puissant kings, received your letters, and I have read them with great sorrow and trouble of mind, knowing that between two such princes so knit, is fallen such discord, that you can not withhold you from overthrowing thorough cruel war, your own lordships, and that renowned empire. But wherewith are ye vexed? or what harm holdeth you? and whence cometh this madness? I beseech you for god his sake consider a little whither you go. How will our common enemies (those beasty citizens of ignorance, and that slovenlike people of Barbary) rejoice, understanding the strength of their enemies to be so wasted through their own contentious quarreling? I adjure by the high Gods above and beneath, that ye withhold you, & forbear such deadly, mortal, and abominable battles, lest that through a damnable desire of superiority, you bewray in uproars and slanders the goodliest province of all the world. But if destiny will have it so, and that you be so fully purposed to debate your quarrel by the sword, I purpose to take part with neither of you, seeing my lordship dependeth in part of the Verb and in part of the Noun. And for that I am greatly bound to you both, with what I can I will aid you both with victuals, munitions, and other necessary things: But as touching facts of arms, I will withhold me, & I will cause my Soldiers to be assembled in arms, to keep in at home, that through incourses no injury be done by any, on the frontiers of mine own land: I pray God give you better counsel. Far ye well.  
And albeit that he had thus written to them, this subtle and wily for nevertheless, through all possible means he might, maintained the quarrel, and by his privy letters incited the minds of both nations eagerly to itch against other, hoping thereby (as I have said) that he should easily attain to the signiory of the whole Grammar after their total destruction. Then having assigned a day for his subjects to be assembled in, was in a most trim and brave company. First the Terminat in Ans ens dus rus tus sus xus, were there with the Nouns verbal in Tor trix and such like, which were neighbours of the Verbs & Nouns, and joined with the Participles. Likewise the Gerunds and Supines, to avoid these civil wars, withdrew them also from the Verbs, and fled to the participles. These things thus appointed, the Participle sent great gifts to both sides, to be always and still in their favour, and first he sent to the Verb these under named neuter passives. To weet Gaudeo soleo audeo sio prandeo Coeno iuro titubo placeo nubo careo moereo poto taceo and quiesco. To the King of Nouns he gave the ending in Tor and trix. He sent also for wages to the host of Verbs an hundredth wagons of preter Tenses, of Present and future tenses. Item a thousand Camels laden with figures, simples, composites, and decomposites: And to the Noun he sent by the river Siue, Ten ships laden with nominative and genitive cases, with as many singular and plural numbers, and a great number of other, masculine genders, feminines, neuters commons and all. This done, he held him in his country with his men of war, awaiting to whether side fortune would turn her. In the mean while, these two warlike kings having very well made provision of all things necessary to give battle, awaited nothing else than some trim occasion to commence the war. But it chanced that two of the worthiest towns of Grammar, (to weet) A and V were taken unappointed by the king of Verbs, albeit that then all towns were indifferently subject, & paid equal tribute to both the said kings, as much to the one, as to the other, being moreover in nothing more in service to the one King, than to the other.  
When Poeta the king heard this, he took by the like policy three other touns EIO: The other hearing this, kept than to their strongest watch, & keeping their liberty, were common to both parts, whose names are, BCDFGLMNPQRS TXZ, and of them doubtless cometh all the force of Grammar. To either of the Kings were given two diphthongs to be their trumpets, for they were taught by sound of trump, to move the spirit of all the soldiers for to fight. Ae and oe served to the King of Nouns, Au and eu to the Verbs. Beside this, certain jesting or gibing women followed both the hosts, that moved the minds of the soldiers in sundry affections: for some wept and bewailed the slaughter that should be among them of Grammar, yea & that they felt the same near them already, as Oh ah he heu and hei, other were disposed, and reproved the contention of these kings, as Vah vae and atat. Other wondered of such dissension fallen between so great friends, as Papae vahu & uha: other as fools incited and encouraged the soldiers to fight, as Eia and Euax. Moreover, all the men of war and soldiers being well appointed and ready to enter into the battle, it seemed good to the king of Verbs that on his part gladly withal his heart he would withdraw to commence civil wars, and to cloak his doing in or with some honest manner, wrote a letter to the king of Nouns, in this tenor. O Poeta thou hast well understood in what appointment and ready strength I am come down to show myself in the field to give thee battle: & again thou mayst know that there are not in thee sufficient forces able to abide and withstand the violent rushing in of the legions of my men of war: Therefore thou shalt do wisely, if in leaving me in my estate thou withdraw into thy territories. But if thou be so senseless, that it must be had by the edge of the sword, then know thou that three days hence I will be ready with mine host in the plain field to fight, there to receive thee. When the Trumpets Au and Eu had given their letters to the king of Nouns, he answered them according to his counsel in this wise. O Amo, thou ever hast to many words, but it is not now a time to amaze the ears of the hearers with thy much babbling: thou boastest thy valiant host, and thy fearful prepared ordinance, as if on our side we had not but dwarves and grasshoppers. Thy possession hath ever been very little in Oration: But yet thy folly leadeth thee thither from whence thou mayst not fly, until with that part of lordship (by thee wrongfully won, worse governed, and naughtily retained) thou be by just war chased out. And for that thou shalt know how little, not I only, but mine, do way thee, and how smally we fear thy threatenings, our Heralds Ae and oe shall show thee their bare buttocks if thou wilt: farewell, such as I wish thee: adieu to the Devil for ever and aye.  
By these letters the hearts of them poisoned one against another, did all await with fiery stomachs the last assigned day of battle. In the mean while, by occasion of such troublous time, there arose (as commonly doth in such business) a licence of most mischievous deeds, and there went forth a company of privy pilferers through the whole province of Grammar, seeking their prey, and especially in woody places, and from the hills espied the passengers, and spoiled the vittailers that went to the Camps: Whereby great dearth and scarcity of victuales daily increased in both the hosts. By reason whereof, certain worthy captains, with sufficient number of soldiers were by the consent & decree of both kings sent out to slay these robbers or else to drive them far out of the lands of Grammar. They being come thither, the soldiers did enclose a very thick wood, where they had understood that there were a great number hidden: so they beset them, that one escaped not untaken. Among whom was a certain fellow called Catholicon that drove a great Ass laden with Greek and latin words bound up together, and carried them into Italy. Item an old Duns called Hugution, with a young younker surnamed Garlandia which also with a great one eyed Mule drove a wagon laden with false and broken rules, and fowl forms not only of old phrases, but also of latin terms, wherewith he hoped to be enriched in the boroughs & towns, selling them as precious things set in glass, to make latin of glass which might have day seen through it. Moreover this yoncker of Garlandia was found stuffed full of false pieces of money & counterfeit coin, being base bullion, which he caused to be taken for good, being of an untrue stamp which he had forged, and of the said money he had filled all the land of Grammar. Likewise there was taken a great and greasy lazy lourden, that made himself be called Grecismus, that had made lean all the victayls that went to the camp, to stuff a great foul rank stinking and rotten calves paunch with. There was also taken one Pylades, that had rob all the ways he went in, and was become rich. All these were there bodily punished as they had merited, some quartered and made in pieces, some brent in the fire, other cast into the dungeons of perpetual and stinking prisons. He that took and punished Grecismus was a right worthy captain called Toussan or Tusan. The robberies of Pylades was discovered and debarred by a noble captain very well acquainted in the wars, which was called john of Cwella that so swelled that he was in peril to be dropsy, but one gave him a short clyster, that did yield him in slender form, & more leave and easy to be borne than he was. All the rest of this robberous rabble were destroyed, slain and buried in a great and dark dungeon. Catholicon that among them was called the great, was brought to the camp with his Ass, who confessed on the rack (albeit it were a thing manifest) that he had stolen all these words in the land of Grammar. Then when he was asked aught in Greek, he answered that he understood not the Greek, and of the Latin but a very little. Then said the judges, wherefore carriest thou with thee Greek words, seeing thou then understandest not? Then he answered, there is so great ignorance of learning with us (saith he) that albeit I speak grossly, yet can I easily make them believe that I am through lined in every corner with all the eloquence of Attica. All they which were there, hearing this, fell in a great laughter, and said: by saint George, seeing that thou hast such hearers as thou hast, that which we know not the due owners of, thou shalt carry with saulfconducte to thy people and nation: but that which we shall know to belong to any, that we think good to be rendered to the due owners. Then after they had made diligent search, all the Greek words almost were given to Isydore, whose they were, and the remnant to the Latins: to which business was appointed the master of the trenchmen, called Calepin with the courteous captain Anthony of Nebrisse. The intermixed, rotten, and secret hidden words were given him, and so they permitted him to go his way with his Ass lighter laden than before: nevertheless they forbade him at any time ever after, to be so hardy as to call himself a Grammarian, except among the rude and barbarous people. In these busy business, one Priscian a very renowned man, and of great honour in the land of Grammar, for that he could not suffer the said land to run in total ruin through civil war and contention, hasted toward the camp in post to make an agreement, and being taken, was spoiled and sore beaten of the felonish fellowship of Catholicon & was so wounded on the head, that there was no salve able to heal him. Shortly after, among these fellows was taken one who falsely and shamefully said that he was an historiographer, and had gathered together a great bundle of jesting solishe gauds in a great volume, called Supplementum Chronicharum, who forced thorough question, confessed that all they were stolen things: and so he was exiled for ever into the land of ignorance. As these things were doing, certain of the Verbs anomales, as Sum volo fero, with three companies of their handmaids, made an assault and took away a prisoner of the captains of the Nouns named Caeter, which was of the race of Relatives, and they took him hidden with his fellows in an embush, in what cave I know not, near to the by path way of the conjunctions Quoth and Quam, and him they slew with all his singulers, his plurals seeing the danger they were in, made a vow to jupiter, to sacrifice him the remnant of their goods, & so they escaped hole and sound miraculously. When tidings hereof were told to King Poeta, he was marvelously moved, and it greatly grieved him to lose such a captain: for this Caeter was very stout and full of stomach even to the uttermost, and in feats of war he had no peer. The king of Nouns therefore feeling himself greatly endamaged with the loss of Caeter & his singulars, diligently awaited occasion whereby he might render double the like to his enemies. But fortune, who can in all things do very much, and chief in war, gave him shortly after the way to revenge him of the wrong. For in those days many legions of Verbs of no small authority were taken prisoners by certain light horsemen of the Nouns. Among whom was dice, face, fere and duce, of the band of the imperatives and commanders. From whom through great ignomy was cut away by the king's commandment, the hinder skirts of their garments, so that they showed their buttocks, and so sent them away again, so that ever since they were called only dic, duke, fac and far. Afterward he commanded that the prisoners should be slain, namely, fuo, specio, lo and pleo: whose goods were by the king of Verbs given to their lawful children, descending of them in right line, as fui, fueram, fuissem, fuisse and futurus. And to the children of specio, who were a great number, as aspicio conspicio and such like: and also to them of lo & pleo, as doleo impleo compleo suppleo repleo expleo oppleo. At the very same season was bewrayed a great treason to the host of the Verbs, how certain horribe hooresons of the stock of preterperfectes, being soldiers, to cloak their treason, and not to be known, were disguised after the manner of the Greeks, though they were of the Latin tongue, and being taken, had two heads. These had conspired and laid watch for the king of Verbs: but being taken and convict of the fact, were declared traitors, and condemned of trespass against the king, they were called momordi cecidi cucurri pependi spopondi pepigi didici pop●s● tetuli cecini peperi tutudi pepuli fefelli memini pupugi and tetigi, from whom was cut of one head at that present: so that whereas they were before time called, momordeo cecido cucurro, they be now called mordeo cedo curro, and so of the rest. From tetuli were cut of both heads, as well of the preter, as of the present tense: albeit that Terence through pity thought to simon on the same again of the preter tense with Balm, but it held not. Now as the time of fight drew near, the said kings set up in the highest place of their host, a red cloak, to advertise the soldiers that they should shortly join together in fight, that they might prepare and propose themselves thereto, taking their repast, and whetting their weapons, might sharpen their munitions ready, with all other things pertaining to such affairs. In the morning, after the soldiers had dined, on both sides without anynoyse making, the whole host assembled to the said place. Then when they had all ranged in battle array with displayed aucientes, the said kings besought and required their soldiers earnestly to behave themselves well & worthily: but it was no need, seeing that they of themselves were already fired enough. For all as mad men shook their pikes with so great & stout a stomach, that they tarried for nothing but to strike, & awaited nought but the sign of the onset & alarm: & hereupon, behold, the trumpets blewe the onset on both sides. On the other part the earth resounded and rang again, & in both hosts were made great shouts and cries, the heads or both hosts made great vows to God, and every of them stomached and cheered up their soldiers. Then every one did what he could and knew to be done, they struck together with great handy strokes of sword, broke their pikes, that the air rang again of the cry of the fighters. In the air was nothing seen but clouds of smoke and brimstone: on both sides were great store wounded and of dead corpses plenty. O there was a goodly sight to see the Verbs defectives (among the rest (fight against the Nouns Heteroclites. These Nouns accompanied with their nominative cases, with their genders, also with their genitives & plural numbers, did fiercely lay upon their enemies. The Verbs defectives did stoutly and courageously withstand and put apart these Nouns Heteroclites, with their indicatives, accompanied with their preter perfect tenses, so that by their conjugations they broke thorough force, the numbers and genders of the other.  
Of these Verbs there was one called aio, who using singular hardiness, did for a long space resist two Nouns Heteroclites, so long that in the end being no more able to withstand their furious forces, lost diverse of his persons, modes, tenses, and numbers, and then rested only unto him, ais, ait, aiunt, aiebam, aiebas, aiebat and aiebant: the rest passed through the sword.  
As the hosts were thus in fight there was such a mixture, that one knew not an other, and they were all so fired and fleshed to fight, that none of them all once perceived the fearful earthquake that was at that present, and in the same country there: yea such a one, and so great, that it destroyed the towns near thereto, turned the streams of mighty rivers the other way upside down, and thrust the sea into the floods, and with his hideous roaring, overthrew the high mountains with a mighty fall. But let such be still, that account that for a tale: the accident that happened in that same sharp & hard war, where the romans were so trounced by the Penoys, near unto the lake Trasimene, the city of Croton yieldeth sufficient testimony, which (as Lucan saith in the book of true narrations) was before situate on the brynks of the shore of Trasimene, at the very present, through a tempest of a whirl wind was transported into the mountain, where it is at this day. Doubtless of this & such like examples lately befallen, Titus Livius may well glory in, for that he hath so great a testimony to have said truth: for that it is sufficient to confirm the things that he hath written. The air was obscured and made dark with the arrows that the numbers singulars and plurals shot. The shot of the figures composite and decomposite flew whistling so round & rightly into the ears of every one, that they were all as deaf. A great number were hurt by the darts of the kinds of primatives, and derivatives. The trumpets likewise that went on every side sounded a fearful and terrible Taratantara, so that the sound thereof encouraged the fighters marvelous full of stomach and hardy, to bear the blows and sturdy stripes of their enemies. And these troublous railing women, the interjections that went about the arrays, vexed and sore troubled them all, through their moved and fickle affections: Among whom for the most part ware often heard these pitiful and dolorous cries, heu and hei oh ah eh. Notwithstanding this war was more fierce and cruel than long in fight, and had it not been for great abundance of rain, that through a sudden storm and tempest which fell from the clouds even at that present, made the medley to departed and break off. Then doubtless had there been an end of all the forces of Grammar. Such and so great was the furious rage that they had every one of them, one against another, yea until that point, that albeit the trumpets sounded the retreat on both sides, and they all greatly encumbered with the water, might nevertheless be unmingled and separate asunder one from another, to return them under their ensigns.  
The victory abode doubtful and incertain, neither was it known of any, whether had the better or the worse, for on both sides there was a marvelous many, as well of sore wounded as of slain, not only of common soldiers, but also of the high and chief captains. It is not possible for any to tell the great losses that were thereon both sides. Notwithstanding I will assay to show plain and manifestly, and in the openliest manner I may, that which some did win or lose there, (though I can not say of every one in particular) this will I do, to this end, that they that come after, may thereto take heed. First the part of the Verbs defectives, in fight lost all them that were descendent from him, all his genders, tenses, modes, persons and numbers that were of the fourth conjugation, of figure composite, and of the singular number. He himself (as God would) escaped safe, for seeing himself in peril, he made a vow, that of no conjugation of marriage, he would after any more bear the livery: & therefore he was at that brunt so sore feared, that since he hath been very seldom seen publicly in the land of Grammar. Before was bereft & rob of all his goods, except fores foret & fore, which are of the optative mode, of the third conjugation, vale, ave, salve, of the kindred & stock of the imperatives (lost a great many of their fellows) which are yet living, the rest were lost. Faxo of the same stock of actives escaped only with three of his, all the rest of his band after him were slain, except faxis faxit & faxint, who saved themselves with him by flighty footing. Inquio of the stock of the neuters, kept inquis inquit inquiunt inquam inquies inquiet inquient inque and inquam. The rest perished in the wars. Inquiens at that time was with the participles whereof he happened well. Apage and apagite when they had lost all their fellows, escaped alone. Diet lost also all his fellows except diescit. Facio was put from his son facior, who notwithstanding before he died, did constitute by knightly testament an heir fio. Posco disco metuo timeo renuo respuo compesco urgeo linquo, and all they of the race of the actives, lost their supins. Some Verbs lost their preter tenses of the third conjugation, and in place of them, they after recovered the pretertenses of the fourth conjugation: among whom was, cupio peto quaero arcesso facesso and sero. Some Verbs having lost their future in am, to the end that they would not thenceforth wholly lose the hope that was to come, bought other future's in 〈◊〉 at the fairs of racana, as eo queo and v●neo (but Horace by his authority gave to lenio lenibo,) all Verbs belonging to beauty lost all their supins, among whom was lucco fulgeo splendeo polleo and such like. Fulcio using a singular hardiness escaped out of peril, & held his fultum, but seeing we have recounted & told of them that received loss, it is not meet to hold of no account these Verbs, that behaving themselves well & worthily had both spoils and dignities, which they received of their king, beside these others that they first had & enjoyed: among other were elevate & set up in great honour, caeno iuro careo ma reo nubo and prandeo: for beside their own preter tenses, they received also the preter tenses of the passive voice. Redimo was enriched in his five senses of nature, & at that present obtained four significatitions, as to deliver, to lead & govern, to deck and ornate, & to take to farm. Solor won three significations, as to be alone, and to comfort & exhort, explicat, beside his own sense which is to explicate and show forth plainly, received, that he might declare, show, that he might draw, that he might represent & deliver. Valeo beside his own sense, which is to be in health and whole, won so much, that when he said vale, that he might salute also, & sometime curse too. Presto had four significations as, to lend, & to be aloft, to do good, and hold promiss, with divers other significations. Haurio was as much enriched, for he had four significations, as to draw out, to wound, to hear & see and diverse other such like, and all they when need is are reduced in one. Pasco received two understandings, to feed, and bring up. Vaco albeit he meddled not much among the fighters (for as Socia saith in Plautus, the fiercer they fought the faster he fled) nevertheless fortune that oftentimes giveth reward to the slothful, would enrich his cowardice with the best of the spoils: for as he espied certain of his enemies that were fled and gone away, he crept out of his cabin and cloaked them in his fist: who after bought them again with a great sum of silver, and he won beside his own former sense seven other, to wit, to understand, to leave of, to serve, to be superfluous, to be lawful, not to have, and to be empty. Studeo won three significations, as to solicit, to desire earnestly, and to be very painfully busied. Pango received three senses, as to sing, and hath given to panxi in his pretertense to make truces, and hath given to pepigi to fasten & join together. Sapio from that day had two senses, to weet, to give knowledge, and to be wise. Fero one of the four anomales gained three senses, as to uphold, to desire, and to bear. Confiteor had three senses, to praise, to purge, and to make manifest. Supero received seven senses by reason of the great authority that he had among the Verbs: as to remain in part, to overcome, to be near, to go further, to escape, to overlive and exceed. Some Verbs there were, which having lost their own preter tenses, had of their king the goods of other Verbs passives which were slain at the battle: as audeo fido gaudeo soleo and fio. These pestiferous and perilous lying Verbs, which always have in their heart and mind other than in the mouth, albeit they had no part of the pray, ye taught not they and their names to be left in oblivion, but spoken of, to the end that every one might know them, and so beware: seeing that always under the colour & cloak of doing, they bear the passive voice: they are called exulo veneo nubo liceo and vapulo. This last of all is the most wily and subtilest: and therefore so much wiser as the boy is, so much the more heed will he have to decline his wily ambushes, if he have good care to keep his buttocks. Now seeing we have already showed as well as we are able, that which happened to the Verbs, it seemeth good in our account that we speak also of the Nouns. Oversight was made in and thorough the host of the Nouns, and it was found how fortune had been as much diverse to one part as to an other. And to the end that we begin by the positives, there was certain of them, that being hurt in their comparatives, received dressing & cure through the diligence of certain expert physicians, as melior minor dexterior ●●●sterior plus magnificentior, & munis●●tior all irregulate, & descending of the second declension. But pius arduus egregius tenus and such like, lost their own comparatives. The Nouns ending in er, lost ruus, in their superlatives: & for the same they had rimus, as tener, and saluber. To others for that they had lost simus was given limus, as humilis facilis gracilis similis agilis, and to vetus was given veterrimus. Among trees were certain Nouns, that quitting themselves manfully, by a sudden miracle changed altogether at once their kinds, becoming of females, males, every one astonished at the sudden case, demanded whence came such transformation to them: of them were rubus and oleaster, which Titus saith were evil and unlucky tokens, and therefore affirmed he that they ought to be cast into the bottom of the sea, or else to be exiled out of the land of Grammar. But the king Poeta jesting at the fiend superstition that they had in the miracles, did prohibit all and every of them, to harm, or any way to hurt them: saying that it was not an evil sign, or unhappy accident to be changed from women into men: saying that out of anoughty and crooked kind, they were turned into a good and better. From certain Nouns heteroclites, fight against the Verbs defectives, were cut away both cods and cullion in the plural numbered (from which peril God save us) so that afterward there was in that number found neither man nor woman but chaste neuters: which doubtless is a thing greatly to be pitied. Their names were sibilus avernus infernus menalus supparus baltheus tartarus dindimus, other had better chance: for when in the same number they were neuters, were glad forth with to see them become males: as porrum rastrifr●num and coelum, But these said po●mum and rastrum, as they went thorough Rome, found in the markets of Agona their neuter plurals, & there they bought them again with a great sum of money, and giving leave to the mules, loved better to hold them to them there. Balsamum among all Nouns and trees above only a neuter: by reason whereof seeing that he could not beget nor bring forth young, is in so great scarcity that he is no where seen but in the land of juda, which is the cause (as sorrowful) he yieldeth his fruit all in tears: as for other Nouns that were bereft of their plural neuter, received the feminine for amends, as epulum ostreum vesper and cepe. But truth is, of all creatures the oysters only were neuters: but above all authors Pliny, & the poets hold them for neuters, wherefore ovid sayeth thus: Ostreaque in conchiss, tuta fuere suis, so that afterward they gained so, that they became as much feminine as neuters: others that were of the doubtful gendre, received the masculine in their plural numbered, as Cardo, bubo, and such like, other that were spoiled of all their cases plural, abode ever since dismembered and maimed: among whom, were sumus limus funus pulvis sanguis mundus pontus sol sal and vuus, all of the masculine gendre. Hardly is seen any time more than one Sun in the firmament, but when it happeneth so, it is not natural, but rather wonderful, likewise also certain feminines lost their plural cases, as lux sitis labes mors vita fames tabes gloria fama salus pax humus lues tellus senecta soboles iwenta indoles proles.  
These fought so feebly in the host,  
That all their plurals there they lost. Other feminines lost at the said conflict their singular number, as argutiae habenaebigae blanditiae cunae delitiae exequiae excubiae exwiae phalerae facetiae genae gades insidiae indi●ciae caleridae lachrymae latebrae minae, & many others. Other neuters were spoiled of all their plurals, as coenum foenum auus solum pus and virus. Furthermore other were put from all their singular friends: as arma castra exta cunabula conchilia crepundia pas●●a moenia mapalia magnalia ilia seria precordia and sponsalia, yea and almost all the names of feasts, as Naturnalia Dionisia Aphrodisiae B●●cha●lia, Floralia and Neptunalia, and all the names of metals, especially aurum & argentum, which every one laboured to take prisoner, and likewise aes s●ta & aera in three cases. In like manner for the great heat and alteration of the combat, the measures were spoiled of the plurality of their liquors, except of wines, and honeys, which to the plural cases were spared, to the end that they might do king Poeta service with new wines: for that he loved them well. Oleum and frum●●tum, by like misfortune were so gluttonnous, that thorough the great scarcity that was in the host, they were not found in plurality. Other abode shortened in the end of their geyltines and d●tines plural, as ●hrathura 〈◊〉 and sera. Yet nevertheless all Nouns had not the worse part: for divers of 〈…〉 of the spoil of their enemies: 〈…〉 ●herof they were of greater authority 〈◊〉 before, so that some received other nominative cases beside their former 〈◊〉 w●tch also hath arbos: honour which hath ho●os: od●r which hath odos: cucumber which hath cucumis: cin●● which hath einis, and pulue● which hath pulvis. notwithstanding they occupy these not always, but keep this share for high feasts, as for trim & nice decking for honour sake. Plaga albeit through hurrying he bled, yet wan he four other senses without account of the first, (that signifieth a wound, or hurt:) as when he would say the arming cord of a net, also a great space of the heaven and earth (called clima,) also a great kind of linen, such as the old matrons of Rome ware when they went in the city, & also for a bed, or any part of a bed, Opus the same day won there three senses: for opus signifieth earth: under opus he giveth aid, under opibus riches. The gerunds and supins, because they were so often fled to the enemy, were amerced to fine after the treaty of peace was made between both the said kings, through the earnest complainct and supplication of Demosthenes who alleged the laws of Solon, by which it was commanded, that such were to be put a part from all honour and offices, that in any sedition had not hold the part of the one nor the other: for that such a one thinketh altogether of his own business, and re●keth not of the common wealth: the greatest part than in the land of Grammar lived after the laws of Athens. afterward therefore the king of the Verbs left to the gerunds no more but only three cases, taking away from them for the trespass of their default all their other cases. To the supins only were reserved but two: which greatly grieved all them of Grammar, sharply blaming such a sort of foolish precepts of Solon's laws, as much as the fond reasons of Demosthenes, whom they jested at, saying, that he had left (his cunning at home) his distaffs bands and wool, and that he had not feigned squint eyed disease in vain, to have yearly revenues and preferment: because he hoped not to have so much money of the gerunds & supins, as he sometime had had of Harpalus. Surely if I would describe forth all the losses & misfortune's orderly as they ought to be, and also all the conquests of the worthiness of every one that changed in that day, my matter would be to long. And therefore I will here make an end, and this may suffice, that what so ever is found lost, wasted, or joined to, and grown up through all the land of Grammar, and his borders and utter limits, is wholly proceeded through the same hard, hideous, and mortal fight among them. In the same time of the wars sprang up many new words, and sundry old were put apart and rejected. And had not three honest persons been chosen for arbitrers (of whom we will speak hereafter) which by their power and ability withstood the naughtiness of certain Grammatistes or slender grammarians, so great barbarousness had then been mired through the Latin tongue, & the same then been so mingled with foolish words, that all hope had been lost ever to restore the same again in his honour, and comely beauty. Therefore after that the retreat was blown of both the hosts, and that they had numbered as well the wounded as the slain, and had known the great loss that was of the hosts, they all began and fell to sighing: and the sight of such a slaughter of their people greatly grieved them, through desire of superiority. Wherefore every of them repenting, sought now nothing else than to make peace. And first of all Poeta seeing of Nouns after he has called his soldiers (but 〈◊〉 without tears) said these words. I think well that you know (O my Fellows) how dolefully, and against my will, I have taken araies to defend & uphold the honour (as ever 〈◊〉 I thought) and the authority of the Nouns against our brethren the soldiers of the Verbs: and in ho● many kinds I have assayed to de●r●● and put of ●ong from between us the wars, and they to leave us s●●●ct in our 〈◊〉. But when I think not only at ou● 〈◊〉 loss, but also of theirs, again when I behold the dead corpses on both sides. I have greater desire to lament than to speak. Therefore it behoveth us to remember that, which some of our good old citizens and burgesses wrote of the discord and  wars, as well of the Romans as the Greeks, and how with great reproaches they blame & detest the ambition of them. In good faith if we had thought of this at the first, we never had gone to so great folly, neither had we also as blinded with anger and rage franticly and as void of reason, torn our proper flesh so with our own hands as we have. But (as an other faith) that which is done and passed, is easier to be reproved than amended: nevertheless it is better to stay thus than to follow on a naughty beginning: for if we will be so mad as to fight with ourselves thoroughly to the end, doubtless then is the principality of Grammar utterly come to confusion, and then shall be given so great an overture and entry into the same to the Barbarous and ignorant people, that as they will they shall rule all: seeing none shall resist them, and go before to prevent them. By reason whereof (O my fellows) for the commodity of both realms I am willingly determined to ask peace with the king of Verbs, and of mine own free will, will go toward him and give him my hand. Notwithstanding, think not here by that I speak it for that I have lost stomach, or for that I am timorous: but because there is nothing more sure that the affairs of the Nouns & Verbs can continue, unless they be friends together knit & quiet in one: of myself I 〈◊〉 mine office, not doubting but that I teach you that, which serveth to the continuing benefit & commodity of every one in general, being ready willingly to do what your will is. God grant you aid in all your enterprises. The profitable oration, & no less necessary s●ying of the king, greatly pleased all the assembly, and all the 〈◊〉 of the soldiers cried aloud, that that which the king had so wisely spoken might be right diligently done. So there was four from the camp of the Verbs for Ambassadors certain of the wisest of them: & so likewise of the chief of the Nouns: who having first made without much difficulty a truce, finally came in such agreement with the king of Verbs, and his greatest lords, that three personages should be chosen which should be exactly seen, and well understanding in all customs, rules and terms of Grammar: and that at their award and arbitrement, (after a solemn oath sworn thereon) both parties should hold them and their rest without any contradiction. Great was the difficulty, and much more was the disputation, to whom the charge should be given to make the treaty of the peace. Many procured means to have the same office on them, and to divers was the voice given, & other again took it from them: In the end it was agreed by Priscian, Servius and Donalt, and also by all the others consenting, that those undernamed, should have the charge and authority to knit and make sure the articies of the peace: that is to wet, Phedra, Volatteran canon of S. Peter's church, a man of great eloquence, and better knowledge. Item Peter Marse canon of saint Laurence in Damascon, a right learned man, and Raphael Lip Florentine, and a great Orator, who being sent for, came to the camp, and having there heard the reasons on both sides, & diligently weighing the business of the matter, in the end pronounced this sentence. To the kings of Grammar to their gentlemen, to their citizens, and to all students to their good hap and commodities be that which now is discussed. We three men deputed to take away the contentious discords, put a part from us all the slanders, wrongs and damages that heretofore have come upon the kings of Grammar, & their soldiers, all which we revoke, take away, and blot out: which if they may not be forgotten, at the least our decree is that they be never hereafter more spoken of. Item that henceforth when a solemn oration cometh to be made, that then both the kings of Grammar in good agreement with their subjects come together, as Verb, Noun, Pronoune, Participle, adverb, Conjunction, Preposition & Interjection. Item we appoint that in common and familiar speech, the Noun, and the Verb only do bear the burden, taking for their help whether of them they will, but to leave the other by, so the end that being put to often in work they be not molested. Item we 〈◊〉 that the Noun serve to the verb, and when he goeth foremost as touching the case, ought also to be governed of the verb, but in speech, that the Noun be before the verb, and the same being after aught therefore to govern the Noun touching his case: but concerning his persons & numbers, the verb ought to give place to the Noun, Pronoune, or Participle. Iten we appoint that the Participle bear reverence to the Noun and the verb, & have the government of the verb before him first, and that of the Noun after him last. Furthermore we permit the verb to make oration himself alone in the second and third person, & to put out a part certain verbs of action if need require, for that he represented not the Noun, but that he represented himself only. This sentence was given and published in the presence of both parties, & it pleased very well all the assemble, and hath since ever been observed of all the inhabitants of Grammar. Also the study of Italy have approved it: and in especial the learned university of Boulogne the most loving mother of good & forward minds: which hath given to the court of Rome not only so many other great personages, but also even in this time that same right learned Alexander Zambecco, which never fletes from the right point, thorough hope or fear. The university of Paris observing the rest, craved then for her students, that they might pronounce Nouns & Verbs at these pleasure, and that without any regard of the quantity of syllables. But bicase between the relatives and antecedentes, between the adjectives & the substantives, between the word rege● & the governed, between the 〈◊〉, and determined, and also between perfect speech and imperfect was an old quarrel, striving whether of them were chief and greatest: it was also concluded to join them in unity, that the relative of substance identitale, should agree in gend●e, number, and person, with his accid●t. Item that the adjective should obey to his substantive in case, gender, & number: and that the governed word should follow the nature of the governing: and that the relative of the accident should only represent the antecedent in such accident or property, in what manner the referred, and the referrent agreed by rule of diversity with the antecedent: and that the speech imperfect should depend upon the perfect, & the specified word, of the specifying, & between two adjectives, two substantives, two verbs of the infinitive mode two perfect speeches, & between two imperfects to be no bond of service. Furthermore the said Peter Marse would, that between sayings and doings might be made a peace & agreement: but the advise of Phedrus was, that if that discordwer once taken away, the Barber surgeons and tavern keepers, should not have whereon to be occupied, wherefore they left that thing even as they found it. All students of ignorance, with these Bassards of Barbary were by commandment exiled for ever out of all Grammar. The barbarous were chased beyond the Alps into their cities and borough towns: but the ignorant through the favour of some princes are bred not only in and through Italy, but also in Rome that mother of good letters: and there whether she will or no, do they continue: among whom there are some being purveyed of fat livings so dull headed and doltish and so ignorant in good letters, that if ye ask them Amo qu● par●● they w●s●y, partat● 〈◊〉 chio vi intenda, so much a●ssery they surpass in ignorance the great mules whereon they are so highly got up. Moreover there was given irrevocable power to the deputed by the strong & same counsel of them all to search out, to punish, & exile (as things of nature counterfa●ct) 〈◊〉 ●sauored waster of Grammar, as 〈◊〉 Latins, half Greeks, & they 〈…〉 ●es that they thought to be pres● to the honour and advancement of all 〈◊〉 letters. And to the end that they 〈◊〉 the easier & more lightly execute their 〈◊〉, were commanded forthwith to 〈…〉 the Roman court whereas more filthiness and ordure, and more mischievous naughty pranks are displayed, their 〈◊〉 and honest people spring on those parts, which power is known & ●righthed by great privileges of Emperors, & learned bishops, & especially by julius that reverent father, the succours of whom God vouchsafe to make his beloved children.  
FINIS.   

 
¶ Imprinted at London by Henry Binneman, dwelling in Knight Rider street, at the sign of the mermaid. Anno. 1569.