❧ A dialogue containing the number in effect of all the proverbs in the english tongue, compact in a matter concerning two manner of marriages, made and set forth by Iohn Heywood.  
Londini. AN. M.D.XLVI.   

The preface.  
AMong other things profiting in our tongue  
Those which much may profit both old & young  
such as on their fruit will feed or take hold  
Are our common plain pithy proverbs old.  
Some sense of some of which being bare and rude  
Yet to fine and fruitful effect they allude.  
And their sentences include so large a reach  
That almost in all things good lessons they teach.  
This writ I not to teach, but to touch. for why,  
Men know this as well or better than I.  
But this and this rest, I writ for this.  
Remembering and considering what the pith is  
That by remembrance of these proverbs may grow  
In this tale, erst talked with a friend, I show  
As many of them as we could fitly find,  
Falling to purpose, that might fall in mind.  
To th'intent the reader readily may  
find them and mind them, when he will always.   

The first part.  

¶ The first chapter.  
OF mine acquaintance a certain young man  
(Being a resorter to me now and than)  
Resorted lately, showing himself to be  
Desirous, to talk at length alone with me.  
And as we for this a meet place had won,  
With this old proverb, this young man began.  
who so that knew, what would be dear,  
Should need be merchant but one year.  
Though it (quoth he) thing impossible be  
The full sequel of present things to fore see:  
Yet doth this proverb provoke every man  
Politicly (as man possibly can)  
In things to come after, to cast eye before  
To cast out or keep in, things for fore store.  
As the provision may seem most profitable,  
And the commodity most commendable.  
Into this consideration I am wrought  
By two things, which fortune to hands hath brought.  
Two women I know, of which twain the tone  
Is a maid of flowering age, a goodly one.  
Thother a widow, who so many years bears,  
That all her whiteness lieth in her white hears.  
This maid hath friends rich, but riches hath she non  
Nor none can her hands get to live upon.  
This widow is very rich, and her friends bare.  
And both these, for love to wed with me fond are.  
And both would I wed, the better and the worse.  
The tone for her person, the t'other for her purse.  
They woe not my substance, but myself they woo.  
Goods have I none, and small good can I do.  
On this poor maid her rich friends I clearly know  
(So she wed where they will) great gifts will bestow.  
But with them all I am so far from favour,  
That she shall sure have no groat, if I have her.  
And I shall have as little, all my friends swear,  
Except I follow them, to wed else where.  
The poor friends of this rich widow bear no sway,  
But wed her and win wealth, when I will I may.  
Now which of these twain is like to be dearest  
In pain or pleasure to stick to me nearest,  
The depth of all doubts with you to consider,  
The sense of the said proverb sendeth me hither.  
The best bargain of both quickly to have skande:  
For one of them think I to make out of hand.   

¶ The second chapter.  
Friend (quoth I) welcome, & with right good will,  
I will as I can your will herein fulfil.  
And two things I see in you, that show you wise.  
first in wedding or ye wed, to ask advise.  
The second, your years being young it appears,  
Ye regard yet good proverbs of old fern years.  
And as ye ground your tale upon one of them  
Furnish we this tale with everichone of them.  
Such as may fitly fall in mind to dispose,  
Agreed (quoth he.) Then (quoth I) first this disclose.  
Have you to this old widow, or this young maid,  
Any words of assurance or this time said?  
Nay in good faith said he. Well than (said I)  
I will be plain with you, and may honestly.  
And plainly to speak, I like you (as I said)  
In two fore told things, but a third have I weighed,  
Not so much to be liked, as I can dame,  
Which is in your wedding your haste so extreme.  
The best or worst thing to man for this life  
Is good or ill choosing his good or ill wife.  
I mean not only of body good or bad,  
But of all things meet or unmeet to be had  
Such as at any time by any mean may  
Between man and wife, love increase or decay.  
Where this ground in any head, gravely grateth  
All fiery haste to wed, it soon rebateth.  
Some things that provoke young men to wed in haste  
Show after wedding that haste maketh waste.  
When time hath turned white sugar to white salt,  
Than such folk see, soft fire maketh sweet malt.  
And that deliberation doth men assist  
Before they wed, to beware of had I wist.  
And than their timely wedding doth clear appear,  
That they were early up, and never the near.  
And once their hasty heat a little controlled,  
Than perceive they well, hot love son cold.  
And when hasty witless mirth is mated we'll,  
Good to be merry and wise, they think and feel.  
Haste in wedding some man thinketh his own avail  
When haste proveth a rod made for his own tail.  
And when he is well beaten with his own rod,  
Than seeth he haste and wisdom, things far odd.  
And that in all, or most things, wished at need,  
Most times he seeth, the more haste the less speed.  
In les things then wedding, haste showeth haste man's foe  
So that the hasty man never wanteth wo.  
These sage said saws if ye take so profound,  
As ye take that, by which ye took your ground,  
Than find ye grounded cause by these now here told▪  
In haste to wedding your haste to withhold.  
And though they seem wives for you never so fit,  
Yet let not harmful haste so far out ren your wit,  
But that ye hark to here all the holle some,  
That may please or displease you in time to come.  
Thus by these lessons ye may learn good cheap  
In wedding and all thing, to look or ye leap.  
Ye have even now well overlookt me (quoth he)  
And leapt very nigh me to. For I agree.  
That these sage sayings do weightily way  
Against haste in all thing: but I am at bay.  
By other parables of like weighty weight,  
Which haste me to wedding as ye shall here straight.   

¶ The third chapter.  
HE that will not when he may,  
When he would, he shall have nay.  
Beauty or riches the tone of the twain  
Now may I choose, and which me list obtain.  
And if we determine me, this maid to take,  
And than tract of time train her me to forsaek:  
Than my beautiful marriage lieth in the dyke,  
And never for beauty, shall I wed the like.  
Now if we award me this widow to wed,  
And that I drive of time, till time she be dead:  
Than farewell riches, the fat is in the fire.  
And never shall I to like riches aspire.  
And a thousand fold would it grieve me more,  
That she in my fault should die one hour before,  
Than one minute after. Than haste must provoke,  
When the pig is proffered to hold up the poke.  
When the son shynth make hay. which is to say,  
Take time when time commth, lest time steel away.  
And one good lesson to this purpose I pike  
From the smith's forge, when thyron is hot strike.  
The sure sea man seeth, the tide tarrieth no man.  
And long delays or absence somewhat to skan.  
Sens that that one will not an other will,  
Delays in wooers must needs their speed spill.  
And touching absence, the full account who somthe  
Shall see, as fast as one goeth another comthe.  
Time is tyckell. and out of sight out of mind.  
Than catch & hold while I may fast bind fast find.  
Blame me not to haste, for fear mine eye be blerde.  
And thereby the fat clean flit fro my beard.  
Where wooers hop in & out, long time may bring  
Him that hoppeth best, at last to have the ring.  
I hopping without, for a ring of a rush.  
And while I at length debate and beat the bush,  
There shall step in other men, & catch the birds.  
And by long time lost in many vain words  
Between these two wives, make sloth speed confounded  
While between two stoles, my tail go to ground.  
By this, since we see sloth must breed a scab,  
Best stick to the tone out of hand, hab or nab.  
Thus all your proverbs invehing against haste,  
Be answered with proverbs plain & promptly placed.  
Whereby, to purpose all this no further fits,  
But to show, so many heads so many wits.  
Which show as surely in all that they all tell,  
That in my wedding I may even as well  
Tarry to long, and thereby come to late,  
As come to soon by haste in any rate.  
And prove this proverb, as the words thereof go,  
Haste or sloth herein work noth●● wealth nor wo.  
Be it far or nigh, wedding is destiny,  
And hanging likewise, saith that proverb, said I  
Than wed or hang (quoth he) what helpth in the whole  
To haste or hang a loof, happy man, happy dole.  
Ye deal this dole (quoth I) out at a wrong dur:  
For destiny in this case doth not so stur  
Against man's endeavour, but man may direct  
His will, fore provision to work or neglect.  
But to show that quick wedding may bring good speed  
Somewhat to purpose, your proverbs prove in deed.  
Howbeit, whether they counterpoise or out way  
The proverbs, which I before them did lay,  
The trial thereof we will lay a water,  
Till we try more. For trying of which matter  
Declare all commodities ye can devise,  
That by those two weddings to you can rise.   

¶ The fourth chapter.  
I Will (quoth he) in both these cases straight show,  
What things as (I think) to me by them will grow.  
And where my love began there begin will I.  
With this maid, the piece peerless in mine eye.  
Whom I so favour, and she so favourth me,  
That half a death to us asunder to be.  
Affection each to other doth us so move,  
That well nigh without food we could live by love.  
For be I right sad, or right sick, from her sight,  
Her presence absenteth all maladies quite.  
Which seen, and that the great ground in marriage  
standeth upon liking the party's parsonage,  
And than of old proverbs in opening the pack,  
One showeth me openly in love is no lack.  
No lack of liking, but lack of living,  
May lack in love (quoth I) and breed ill cheving.  
Well as to that (said he) hark this o thing,  
What time I lack not her, I lack nothing.  
But though we have nought) nor nought we can gait  
God never sendeth mouth, but he sendeth meat.  
And a hard beginning maketh a good ending.  
In space cometh grace, and this further amending.  
Seldom cometh the better, and like will to like.  
God sendeth cold after clothes. And this I pike.  
She, by lack of substance seeming but a spark,  
Steynth yet the stoutest. For a leg of a lark  
Is better than is the body of a kyght.  
And home is homely, though it be poor in sight.  
These proverbs for this part show such a flourish,  
And then this party doth delight so nourish,  
That much is my bow bend to shoot at these marks,  
And kill fear. when the sky falleth we shall have larks.  
All perils that fall may, who feareth they fall shall,  
Shall so fear all thing, that he shall let fall all,  
And be more frayed than hurt, if the things were done.  
Fear may force a man to cast beyond the moon.  
Who hopeth in gods help, his help can not start.  
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.  
And will may win my heart, herein to consent,  
To take all thing as it comthe, and be content.  
And here is (quoth he) in marrying of this maid,  
For courage and commodity all mine aid.  
Well said (said I) but a while keep we in quench  
All this case, as touching this poor young wench.  
And now declare your whole consideration,  
What manner things draw your imagination,  
Toward your wedding of this widow rich & old.  
That shall ye (quoth he) out of hand have told.   

¶ The fift chapter.  
THis widow being foul, and of favour ill,  
In good behaviour can very good skill.  
pleasantly spoken, and a very good wit,  
And at her table, when we together sit,  
I am well served, we far of the best.  
The meat good and wholesome, and handsomely dressed.  
Sweet and soft lodging, and thereof great shift.  
This felt and seen, with all implements of thrift,  
Of plate and money such cupboards and coffers,  
And that without pain I may win these proffers,  
Than covetise bearing Venus bargain back,  
Praising this bargain, saith, better leave than lack.  
And greediness, to draw desire to this lore,  
saith, that the wise man saith, store is no sore.  
Who hath many pease may put the more in the pot.  
Of two ills, chose the least while choice lieth in lot.  
Sens lack is an ill, as ill as man may have,  
To provide for the worst, while the best itself save.  
Resty wealth willeth me this widow to win,  
To let the world wag, & take mine ease in mine in.  
He must needs swim, that is hold up by the chin.  
He laugth that wynth. And this thread finer to spin,  
Master promotion saith, make this substance sure,  
If riches bring once portly countenance in ure,  
Than shalt thou rule the roast all round about.  
And better to rule, than be ruled by the rout.  
It is said: be it better be it worse,  
Do ye after him that beareth the purse.  
Thus be I by this, ones le senior de grand,  
Many that commanded me, I shall command.  
And also I shall to revenge former hurts,  
Hold their noses to grindstone, and sit on their skurts,  
That erst sat on mine. And riches may make  
Friends many ways. Thus better to give than take.  
And to make carnal appetite content  
Reason laboureth will to win will's consent,  
To take lack of beauty but as an eye sore.  
The fair and the foul, by dark are like store.  
As this proverb saith, for quenching hot desire,  
Fowl water as soon as fair, will quench hot fire.  
Where gifts be given freely, est west north or south,  
No man ought to look a given horse in the mouth.  
And though her mouth be foul, she hath a fair tail,  
I conster this text, as is most mine avail.  
In want of white teeth and yellow hears to behold,  
She flourisheth in white silver and yellow gold.  
What though she be toothless and bald as a coote?  
Her substance is shootanker, whereat I shoot.  
Take a pain for a pleasure all wise men can.  
What, hungry dogs will eat d●rty puddings man.  
And here I conclude (quoth he) all that I know  
By this old widow, what good to me may grow.   

¶ The sixth chapter.  
YE have (quoth I) in these conclusions found  
Sundry things, that very savourly sound.  
And both these long cases, being well viewed  
In one short question, we may well inclewde  
Which is, whether best or worst be to be led  
With riches, without love or beauty, to wed:  
Or with beauty without richesse for love.  
This question (quoth he) inquerth all that I move.  
It doth so (said I) and is nearly couched.  
But th'answer will not so briefly be touched.  
And yourself, to length it, taketh direct trade.  
For to all reasons, that I have yet made,  
Ye seem more to seek reasons how to contend,  
Than to the counsel of mine to condescend.  
And to be plain, as I must with my friend,  
I perfectly feel even at my fingers eende.  
So hard is your hand set on your halfpenny:  
That my reasoning your reason setteth nought by.  
But reason for reason, ye so stiffly lay  
By proverb for proverb, that with you do weigh,  
That reason only shall herein nought move you  
To here more than speak. wherefore I will prove you  
With reason, assisted by experience.  
Which myself saw, not long since nor far hence.  
In a matter so like this fashond in frame,  
That none can be liker, it semthe even the same.  
And in the same, as yourself shall espy  
Each sentence soothed with a proverb. wellnigh,  
And at end of the same, ye shall clearly see  
How this short question shortly answered may be.  
Ye marry (quoth he) now ye shoot nigh the prick.  
Practise in all, above all toucheth the quick.  
Proof upon practice, must take hold more sure,  
Than any reasoning by guess can procure.  
If ye bring practice in place, without fabling,  
I will banish both haste and busy babbling.  
And yet that promise to perform is mickell.  
For in this case my tongue must oft tickle.  
Ye know well it is, as telleth us this old tale,  
Meet, that a man be at his own bridal.  
If he wyve well (quoth I) meet and good it were.  
Or else as good for him an other were there.  
But for this your bridal I mean not in it,  
That silence shall suspend your speech every whit,  
But in these marriages, which ye here move,  
Sens this tale conteinth the counsel I can give,  
I would see your ears attend with your tongue,  
For advise in both these weddings old and young.  
In which hearing, time seen when & what to talk,  
When your tongue tickleth, at will let it walk.  
And in these brydales, to the reasons of ours,  
Mark mine experience in this case of yours.   

¶ The vii chapter.  
Within few years past, from London no far way,  
Where I & my wife, with our poor household lay,  
Two young men were abiding, whom to descrive  
were I, in portraying persons dead or alive,  
As cunning and as quick, to touch them at full,  
As in that feat I am ignorant and dull,  
Never could I paint, their pictures to allow,  
More lively, than to paint the picture of you.  
And as your three persons show one similitewd,  
So show you three one, in all things to be viewed.  
Like wise a widow and a maid there did dwell,  
Alike like the widow and maid ye of tell.  
The friends of them four in every degree,  
Standing in state as the friends of you three.  
Those two men, each other so hasted or tarried,  
That those two women on one day they married.  
Into two houses, which next my house did stand,  
The one on the right, tother on the left hand.  
Both bridegrooms bade me, I could do none other,  
But dine with the tone, and sup with the t'other.  
He that wedded this widow rich and old,  
And also she, favoured me so, that they would  
Make me dine or sup once or twice in a week.  
This poor young man and his make being to seek  
As oft, where they might eat or drink, I them bad,  
Were I at home, to such pittance as I had.  
Which comen conference such confidence wrought  
In them to me, that deed, word, ne welny thought  
Chanced among them, what ever it wear,  
But one of the four brought it straight to mine care.  
Whereby between these twain, and their two wives,  
Both for wealth and woe, I knew all their four lives.  
And since the matter is much intricate,  
Between side and side, I shall here separate  
All matters on both sides, and than sequestrate,  
Thone side, while tother be full reherste, in rate,  
As for your understanding may best stand.  
And this young poor couple shall come first in hand.  
Who, the day of wedding and after, a while,  
Can not look each on other, but they must smile.  
As a whelp for wantonness in and out whips,  
So played these twain, as merry as three chips.  
Ye there was god (quoth he) when all is done.  
Abide (quoth I) it was yet but honey moon.  
The black ox had not trod on his nor her foot.  
But ere this branch of bliss could reach any root,  
The flowers so faded, that in fifteen weeks,  
A man might espy the change in the cheeks,  
Both of this poor wretch, & his wife this poor wench.  
Their faces told toys, the Tottenham was turned french  
And all their light laughing turned and translated  
Into sad sighing, all mirth was amated.  
And one morning timely he took in hand,  
To make to my house, a fleevelesse errand.  
Hawking upon me, his mind herein to break.  
Which I would not see, till he began to speak.  
Praying me to hear him. And I said, I would.  
Wherewith this that followeth forthwith he told.   

¶ The viii chapter.  
I Am now driven (quoth he) for ease of my heart,  
To you, to utter part of mine inward smart.  
And the matter concerneth my wife and me.  
Whose fathers and mothers long since dead be.  
But uncles, with aunts and cousins, have we  
divers rich on both sides, so that we did see,  
If we had wedded, each, where each kindred would,  
Neither of us had lacked, either silver or gold.  
But never could suit, on either side obtain  
One penny, to the one wedding of us twain.  
And since our one marrying or marring day,  
Where any of them see us, they shrink away,  
Solemnly swearing, such as may give aught,  
While they & we live, of them we get right nought.  
Nor nought have we, nor no way aught can we get,  
Saving by borrowing, till we be in det  
So far, that no man any more will us lend.  
Whereby, for lack we both be at our wits end.  
Whereof no wonder, since the end of our good,  
And beginning of our charge, together stood.  
But wit is never good till it be bought.  
Howbeit when bought wits to best price be brought:  
Yet is one good forewyt worth two after wits.  
This payth me home lo, and full my folly hyts.  
For had I looked afore, with indifferent eye,  
Though haste had made my thirst never so dry:  
Yet to drown this drought, this must I needs think,  
As I would needs brew, so must I needs drink.  
The drink of my bride cup I should have forborn,  
Till temperance had tempered the taste before.  
I see now, and shall see while I am alive,  
Who wedth or he be wise, shall die ere he thrive.  
He that will sell lawn, ere he can fold it,  
He shall repent him ere he have sold it.  
I reckoned my wedding a sugar sweet spice,  
But reckners without their host must reckon twice.  
And all though it were sweet for a week or twain,  
Sweet meat will have sour sauce, I see now plain.  
Continual penury, which I must take,  
telleth me, better eye out than alway ache.  
Boldly and blindly I ventured on this,  
How be it, who so bold as blind bayard is?  
And herein to blame any man, than should I rave.  
For I did it myself: and self do, self have.  
But a day after the fair, cometh this remorse,  
For relief: for though it be a good horse  
That never stumbleth, what praise can that avouch  
To jades, the break their necks at first trip or touch.  
And before this my first foil or break-neck fall,  
Subtly like a sheep thought I, I shall  
Cut my cote after my cloth. When I have her.  
But now I can smell, nothing hath no saver.  
I am taught to know, in more haste than good speed,  
How judicare came into the Creed.  
My careful wife in one corner weepeth in care,  
And I in an other, the purse is thread bare.  
This corner of our care (quoth he) I you tell,  
To crave therein your comfortable counsel.   

¶ The ninth chapter.  
I Am sorry (quoth I) of your poverty,  
And more sorry that I can not succourye.  
If ye stir your need mine alms to stur,  
Than of troth ye beg at a wrong man's dur.  
There is nothing more vain, as yourself tell can,  
Than to beg a breech of a bare-arsed man.  
I come to beg nothing of you, quoth he,  
Save your advise, which may my best way be.  
How to win present salve, for this present sore.  
I am like thyll surgeon (said I) without ●●ore  
Of good plasters. Howbeit such as they are,  
Ye shall have the best I have. But first declare,  
Where your & your wives rich kinsfolk do dwell.  
environed about us (quoth he) which showeth well,  
The near to the church, the further from god.  
Most part of them dwell within a thousand rod.  
And yet shall we catch a hare with a taber,  
As soon as catch aught of them, and rather.  
Ye play coleprophet (quoth I) who taketh in hand,  
To know his answer before he do his errand.  
What should I to them (quoth he) fling or flit,  
An unbidden jest knoweth not where to sit.  
Shame drawth me back, being thus forsaken.  
Tush man (quoth I) shame is as it is taken.  
And shame take him the shame thinketh, ye think none.  
Vnmynded, unmoned, go make your moan.  
Well (quoth he) if I shall need this voyage make,  
With as good will as a bear goth to the stake,  
I will straight way anchor and hoist up sail.  
And thitherward hie me in haste like a snail.  
And home again hitherward quick as a Bee.  
Now for good luck, cast an old shoe after me.  
And first to mine uncle, brother to my father.  
By suit, I will assay to win some favour.  
Who brought me up, and till my wedding was done  
Loved me, not as his nephew, but as his son.  
And his heir had I been, had not this chanced,  
Of lands & goods, which should me much advanced.  
Trudge (quoth I) to him, and on your marrowbones,  
Crouch to the ground, and not so oft as one's,  
Speak any one word him to contrary.  
I can not tell that (quoth he) by saint Mary.  
I know not how I shall be pryckt to speak.  
Well (quoth I) better is to bow than break.  
Sens ye can nought win, if ye can not please,  
Best is to suffer. For of sufferance cometh ease.  
cause causeth (quoth he) and as cause causeth me,  
So will I do. And with this away went he.  
Yet whether his wife should go with him or no,  
He sent her to me to know ere he would go.  
Whereto I said, I thought best he went alone.  
And you (quoth I) to go straight as he is gone,  
Among your kinsfolk likewise, if they dwell nigh.  
Yes (quoth she) all round about even here by.  
Namely an aunt, my mother's sister, who well  
(Sens my mother died) brought me up from the shell.  
And much would have given me, had mi wedding grown  
Upon her fancy, as it grew upon mine own.  
And in likewise mine uncle her husband, was  
A father to me. Well (quoth I) let pass.  
And if your husband will his assent grant,  
Go, he to his uncle, and you to your aunt.  
Yes this assent he granteth before (quoth she)  
For he or this thought this the best way to be.  
But of these two things he would determine none  
Without aid. For two heads are better than one.  
With this we departed, she to her husband,  
And I to dinner to them on tother hand.   

¶ The tenth chapter.  
When dinner was done, I came home again,  
To attend on the return of these twain.  
And ere three hours to end were fully tried,  
Home came she first, welcome (quoth I) and well hide.  
Ye a short horse is soon corryd (quoth she)  
But the weaker hath the worse we all day see.  
After our last parting, my husband and I  
Departed, each to place agreed formerly.  
Mine uncle and aunt on me did louvre and glome.  
Both bade me god speed, but none bade me welcome.  
Their folks glomd on me to, by which it appeareth,  
The young cock croweth, as he the old heareth.  
At dinner they were, and made (for manners sake)  
A kinswoman of ours, me to table take.  
A false flattering filth, and if that be good,  
None better to bear two faces in a hood.  
She speaketh as she would creep into your bosom.  
And when the meal mouth hath won the bottom  
Of your stomach, than will the pikthanke it tell  
To your most enemies, you to buy and sell.  
There is no more such tytifils in England's ground,  
To hold with the hare, and run with the hound.  
Fire in the tone hand, and water in the t'other,  
The makebate beareth between brother and brother.  
She can wink on the yew, and weary the lamb,  
She maketh earnest matters of every flymflam.  
She must have an ore in every man's barge.  
And no man chat aught in aught of her charge.  
Colle under canstyk she can play on both hands,  
Dissimulation well she understands.  
She is lost with an appull, and won with a nut.  
Her tongue is no edge tool, but yet it will cut.  
Her cheeks are purple ruddy like a horse plum.  
And the big part of her body is her bum.  
But little tit all tail, I have herd ere this,  
As high as two horseloves her person is.  
For privy nips or casts overthwart the shins,  
He shall lose the mastery that with her begins,  
She is, to turn love to hate, or joy to grief  
A pattern, as meet as a rope for a thief.  
Her promise of friendship, for any avail,  
Is as sure to hold, as an eel by the tail.  
She is neither fish nor flesh nor good red hearing.  
She may do much there, and I thereby fearing  
She would spit her venom, thought it not evil  
To set up a candle before the devil.  
I clawed her by the back in way of a charm,  
To do me, not the more good, but the less harm.  
All that dinner time we sitting together,  
Above all, with her I made fair wether.  
Praying her in her ear, on my side to hold,  
She thereto swearing by her false faith, she would.  
Straight after dinner mine aunt had no choice,  
But other burst, or burst out in Pilate's voice.  
Ye housewife, what wind blowth ye hither thus right?  
Ye might have knocked or ye came in, leave is light.  
Better unborn than untaught, I have herd say,  
But ye be better fed than taught far away.  
Not very fat fed, said this flebergebet,  
But need hath no law, need maketh her hither jet.  
She cometh niece Alice (quoth she) for that is her name  
More for need, then for kindness, pain of shame.  
Howbeit she can not lack, for he fyndth that seeks,  
Lovers live by love, ye as larks live by leeks.  
Said this Alice, much more than half in mockage.  
Tush (quoth mine aunt) these lovers in dotage  
Think the ground bears them not, but wed of courage  
They must in all haste, though a leaf of borage  
Might buy all the substance that they can sell.  
Well aunt (quoth Alice) all is well that ends well.  
Ye Alice, of a good beginning cometh a good end.  
Not so good to borrow, as be able to lend.  
Nay in deed aunt (quoth she) it is sure so,  
She must needs grant, she hath wrought her own wo.  
She thought Alice, she had seen far in a millstone,  
When she got a husband, and namely such one,  
As they by wedding could not only nought win,  
But lose both living and love of all their kin.  
Good aunt (quoth I) humbly I beseech ye,  
My trespass done to you forgive it me.  
I know & knowledge, I have wrought mine own pain  
But things past my hands, I can not call again.  
True (quoth Alice) things done, can not be undone,  
Be they done in due time, to late, or to soon.  
But better late than never to repent this.  
To late (quoth mine aunt) this repentance showed is.  
When the stead is stolen, shut the stable durre.  
I took her for a rose, but she breedeth a burr.  
She cometh to stick to me now in her lack,  
Rather to rend of my clothes fro my back,  
Then to do me one ferthing worth of good.  
I see day at this little hole. For this bood  
Shewth what fruit will follow. In good faith I said  
In way of petition I sue for your aid.  
A well (quoth she) now I well understand  
The walking staff hath caught warmth in your hand  
A clean fyngerd housewife and an idle, folk say,  
And will be lime fyngerd I fear by my fay.  
It is as tender as a persons leman.  
Nought can she do, and what can she have than?  
She may not bear a feather, but she must breath,  
She maketh so much of her painted sheath.  
She thinketh her ferthing good silver I tell you.  
But for a ferthing who ever did sell you  
Might boast you to be better sold than bought.  
And yet though she be worth nought, nor have nought  
Her gown is gaier and better than mine.  
At her gay gown (quoth Alice) ye may repine.  
How be it as we may we love to go gay all.  
Well well (quoth mine aunt) pride will have a fall.  
For pride goeth before, and shame cometh after.  
Sure (said Alice) in manner of mocking laughter,  
There is nothing in this world that agreeth worse,  
Than doth a lady's heart, and a beggars purse.  
But pride she showeth none, her look reason alowth  
She lookth as butter would not melt in her mouth.  
Well the still sow eats up all the draff Ales.  
All is not gold that glistreth by old told tales.  
In youth she was toward and without evil,  
But soon ripe soon rotten, young saint old devil.  
How be it lo god sendeth the shrewd cow short horns.  
While she was in this house she sat upon thorns.  
Each one day was three, till liberty was borrow  
For one months' joy to bring her holle lives sorrow.  
It were pity (quoth Alice) she should miscarry.  
For she is grown a goodly damsel marry.  
Ill weed growth fast Ales. whereby the corn is lost.  
For surely the weed overgroweth the corn.  
If I may (as they say) tell troth without sin,  
Of truth she is a wolf in a lambs skin.  
Her heart is full high, when her eye is full low.  
A jest as good lost as found, for all this show.  
But many a good cow hath an evil calf.  
I speak this daughter in thy mother's behalf.  
My sister (god rest her soul) whom though I boast,  
Was called the flower of honesty in this cost.  
Aunt (quoth I) I take for father and mother  
Mine uncle and you above all other.  
When we would, ye would not be our child (quoth she.)  
Wherefore now when ye would, now will not we.  
Sens thou wouldst needs cast a way thyself thus,  
Thou shalt sure sink in thine own sin for us.  
Thou art in deed borne very nigh of my stock,  
And nigh is my kirtle, but near is my smock.  
I have one of mine own, whom I must look to.  
Ye aunt (quoth Alice) that thing must ye needs do.  
Nature compellth you to set your own first up.  
For I have heard say, it is a dear colup,  
That is cut out of thowne flesh. But yet aunt,  
So small may her request be, that ye may grant  
To satisfy the same, which may do her good,  
And you no harm in thadvancing your own blood.  
And cousin (quoth she to me) what ye would crave,  
Declare, that our aunt may know what ye would have.  
Nay (quoth I) be they winners or losers,  
Folk say alway, beggars should be no choosers.  
With thanks I shall take what ever mine aunt please,  
Where nothing is, a little thing doth ease.  
And by this proverb appeareth this o thing,  
That alway somewhat is better than nothing.  
Hold fast when ye have it (quoth she) by my life.  
The boy thy husband, and thou the girl his wife,  
Shall not consume that I have laboured fore.  
Thou art young enough, and I can work no more.  
Kit calot my cousin saw this thus far on  
And in mine aunts ear she whispreth anon  
Roundly these words, to make this matter whole.  
Aunt, let them that be a cold blow at the coal.  
They shall for me Alice (quoth she) by gods blyst.  
She and I have shaken hands. farewell unkyst.  
And thus with a beck as good as a dieu guard,  
She flung fro me, and I from her hitherward.  
Begging of her booteth not the worth of a bean,  
Little knoweth the fat sow, what the lean doth mean.  
Forsooth (quoth I) ye have bestyrd ye well.  
But where was your uncle while all this fray fell?  
A sleep by (quoth she) routing like a hog.  
And it is evil waking of a sleeping dog.  
The bitch and her whelp might have been a sleep to.  
For aught they in waking to me would do.  
Far ye well (quoth she) I will now home strait.  
And at my husband's hands for better news wait.   

¶ The eleventh chapter.  
HE came home to me the next day before noon.  
What tidings now (quoth I) how have ye done?  
Upon our departing (quoth he) yesterday  
Toward mine uncles, somewhat more than midway,  
I overtook a man, a servant of his,  
And a friend of mine. who guessed straight with this,  
What mine errand was, offering in the same,  
To do his best for me, and so in god's name.  
Thither we went, no body being within,  
But mine uncle, mine aunt, and one of our kin.  
A mad knave, as it were a railing gester,  
Not a more gaggling gander hence to Chester.  
At sight of me he asked, who have we there?  
I have seen this gentleman, if I wist where.  
How be it lo, seldom seen, soon forgotten.  
He was (as he will be) somewhat cupshotten.  
Six days in a week, beside the market day,  
Malt is above wheat with him, market men say.  
But for as much as I saw, the same taunt  
Contented well mine uncle and mine aunt,  
And that I came to fall in, and not fall out,  
I forbore. or else his drunken red snout  
I would have made as oft change from hue to hue,  
As doth the cocks of Ind. For this is true.  
It is a small hop on my thumb. And Christ wots,  
It is wood at a word. little pot soon hot.  
Now merry as a cricket, and by and by,  
Angry as a wasp, though in both no cause why.  
But he was at home there, he might speak his will.  
Every cock is proud on his own dunghill.  
I shall be even with him herein when I can.  
But he having done, thus mine uncle began.  
Ye merchant, what attempth you, to attempt us,  
To come on us before the messenger thus.  
Roaming in and out, I here tell how ye toss.  
But son, the rolling stone never gatherth moss.  
Like a pickpurse pilgrim, ye pry and ye proule  
At rovers, to rob Peter and pay Poule.  
I iwis I know, er any more be told,  
That draff is your errand, but drink ye would.  
Uncle (quoth I) of the cause, for which I come,  
I pray you patiently here the hole some.  
In faith (quoth he) without any more summing  
I know to beg of me is thy coming.  
For soothe (quoth his man) it is so in deed.  
And I dare boldly boast, if ye knew his need,  
ye would of pity yet set him in some stay.  
Son, better be envied then pitied, folk say.  
And for his cause of pity (had he had grace)  
He might this day have been clear out of the case.  
But now he hath well fished and caught a frog.  
Where nought is to wed with, wise men flee the clog.  
Where I (quoth I) did not as ye wild or bad,  
That repent I oft, and as oft wish I had.  
Son (quoth he) as I have herd of mine olders,  
Wishers and wolders be no good householders.  
This proverb for a lesson, with such other,  
Not like (as who saith) the son of my brother,  
But like mine own son, I oft before showed thee,  
To cast her quite of, but it would not be.  
When I wild the any other where to go,  
Tush, there were no more maidens but malkyn tho.  
Ye had been lost to lack your lust, when ye list,  
By two miles trudging twice a week to be kissed.  
I would ye had kissed, well I will no more stir,  
It is good to have a hatch before the durre.  
But how is my saying come to pass now?  
How oft did I prophecy this between you,  
And your gynyfinee nycebycetur,  
When sweet sugar should turn to sour salt petur?  
Whereby ye should in seeing, that ye never saw.  
Think that you never thought. yourself a daw.  
But that time ye thought me a daw. so that I  
Did no good in all my words than, save only  
Approved this proverb plain and true matter,  
A man may well bring a horse to the water.  
But he can not make him drink without he will.  
Colts (quoth his man) may prove well, with tatchiss ill  
For of a ragged colt there comthe a good horse.  
If he be good now, of his ill past no force.  
Well he that hangth himself a sunday (said he)  
Shall hang still uncut down a monday for me.  
I have hanged up my hatchet, god speed him well.  
A wonder thing what things these old things tell.  
Cat after kind good mouse hunt. And also  
Men say, kind will creep where it can not go.  
These sentences to the I may assyne  
By thy father, the said brother of mine.  
Thou folowist his steps as right as a line.  
For when provender pryckt him a little tyne,  
He did as thou didst. One, on whom he did dote,  
He wedded in haste, with whom he had no groat.  
And she as little with him. whereby at last  
They both went a begging. And even the like cast  
Haste thou. thou wilt beg or steal, or thou die,  
Take heed friend, I have seen as far come as me.  
If ye seek to find things ere they be lost,  
Ye shall find one day you come to your cost.  
This do I but repeat, for this I told thee,  
And more I say. but I could not than hold the.  
Nor will not hold the now: nor such folly feel,  
To set at my heart, that thou settest at thy heel.  
And as of my good, ere I one groat give,  
I will see how my wife, and myself shall live.  
Shall I make the laugh now, & myself weep then?  
Nay good child, better children weep than old men.  
It is hard to wive and thrive both in a year.  
But by thy wyving, thriving doth so appear,  
That thou art past thrift, before thrift begin.  
But lo, will will have will, though will woe win.  
Will is a good son, and will is a shrewd boy.  
And wilful shrewd will hath wrought the this toy.  
A gentle white spur, and at need a sure spear.  
He standeth now as he had a flea in his ear.  
How be it for any great courtesy he doth make,  
It semth the gentle man hath eaten a stake.  
He beareth a dagger in his sleeve, trust me,  
To kill all that he meeteth, prouder than he.  
Sir (quoth his man) he will no fault defend,  
But hard is for any man all faults to mend.  
He is liveless, that is faultless, old folks thought,  
He hath (quoth he) but one fault, he is nought.  
Help him sir (quoth his man) sens ye easily may.  
Two false knaves need no broker (quoth he) men say,  
The one knave now crouchith, while tother craveth  
But to show what shall be his relieveth,  
Either after my death, if my will be kept,  
Or during my life, had I this hall heaped  
With gold, he may his part on good friday eat,  
And fast never the worse, for aught he shall get.  
Now here is the door, and there is the weigh.  
And so (quoth he) farewell gentle Geffrey.  
Thus parted I from him, being much dismayed,  
Which his man saw, and (to comfort me) said.  
What man, pluck up your heart, be of good cheer.  
After clouds black, we shall have wether clear.  
What should your face thus again the will be shorn  
For one fall? What man all this wind shakes no corn.  
Let this wind overblow. a time I will spy,  
To take wind and tide with me, and speed thereby.  
I thank you (quoth I) but great boast & small roast,  
Maketh unsavoury mouths, where ever men host.  
And this boast very unsavourly serveth.  
For while the grass groweth, the horse starveth.  
Better one bird in hand than ten in the wood.  
Rome was not built on a day (quoth he) & yet stood  
Till it was fynysht, as some say, full fair.  
Your heart is in your hose all in despair.  
But as every man saith, a dog hath a day.  
Should you a man, despair than any day? nay.  
Ye have many strings to the bow. for ye know,  
Though I, having the bent of your uncles bow,  
Can no way bring your bolt in the butt to stand,  
Yet have ye other marks to rove at, at hand.  
The keys hang not all by one man's girdill man.  
Though nought willbe won here, I say, yet ye can  
Taste other kinsmen, of whom ye may gait,  
Here some and there some, many small make a great.  
For come light winnings with blessings or curses,  
Evermore light gains make heavy purses.  
Children learn to creep ere they can learn to go.  
And little and little, ye must learn even so.  
Throw no gift again at the givers head,  
For better is half a loaf than no bread.  
I may beg my bread (quoth I) for my kin all,  
That dwelleth nigh, Well, yet (quoth he) & the worst fall,  
Ye may to your kinsman, hens nine or ten mile,  
Rich without charge, whom ye saw not of long while  
That bench whistler (quoth I) is a pinchepeny.  
As fire of gift, as a poor man of his eye.  
I shall get a fart of a dead man as soon,  
As a farthing of him, his dole is soon done.  
He is so high in thynstep, and so straight last,  
That pride and covetise withdrawth all repast.  
Ye know what he hath been (quoth he) but iwis,  
Absence saith plainly, ye know not what he is.  
Men know (quoth I) I have herd now and then,  
How the market goeth by the market men.  
Further it is said, who that saying weyth,  
It must needs be true, that every man saith.  
Men say also, children and fools can not lie.  
And both man and child saith, he is a heynsby.  
And myself knoweth him, I dare boldly brag,  
Even as well as the beggar knoweth his bag.  
And I knew him, not worth a good grey groat.  
He was at an ebb. though he be now a float,  
Poor as the poorest. And now nought he setteth  
By poor folk. For the parish priest forgetteth,  
That ever he hath been holy water clerk.  
By aught I can now here, or ever could mark,  
Of no man hath he pity, or compassion.  
Well (quoth he) every man after his fashion.  
He may yet pity you, for aught doth appear.  
It hapth in one hour, that hapth not in. seven. year.  
Forspeake not your fortune, nor hide not your need.  
nought venture nought have spare to speak spare to speed  
Unknown unkyst. it is lost that is unsought.  
As good seek nought (quoth I) as seek & find nought  
It is (quoth he) ill fishing before the net.  
But though we get little, dear bought and far fet  
Are dainties for ladies. Go we both too.  
I have for my master thereby to do.  
I may break a dish there, and sure I shall  
Set all at six and seven, to win some wyndfall.  
And I will hang the bell about the cat's neck.  
For I will first break, and ieobard the first check.  
And for to win this pray, though the cost be mine,  
Let us present him with a bottle of wine.  
That were (quoth I) as much alms or need,  
As cast water in Thems. or as good a deed,  
As it is to help a dog over a style.  
Than go we (quoth he) we lose time all this while.  
To follow his fancy, we went together.  
And toward night yesternight when we came thither,  
She was within, but he was yet abroad.  
And straight as she saw me, she swelled like a toad.  
Pattering the devils pater noster to herself.  
God never made a more crooked crabbed elf.  
She bade him welcome, but the worse for me.  
This knave cometh a begging, by me thought she.  
I smelde her out, and had her straight in the wind.  
She may abide no beggars of any kind.  
They be both greedy guts. all given to get,  
They care not how. all is fish that cometh to net.  
They know no end of their good, nor beginning  
Of any goodness. such is wretched winning.  
Hunger droppeth even out of both their noses.  
She goeth with broken shone and torn hoses.  
But who is worse shod, than the shoemakers wife,  
With shops full of new shapen shoes all her life.  
Or who will do less, than they that may do most.  
And namely of her I can no way make boast.  
She is one of them, to whom god bade who.  
She will all have, and will right nought forego.  
She will not part with the paring of her nails.  
She toileth continually for avails.  
Which life she hath so long now kept in ure,  
That for no life she would make change, be sure.  
But this lesson lernde I, ere I was years seven,  
They that be in hell, ween there is none other heaven.  
She is nothing fair, but she is ill favoured.  
And no more unklenly, than unsweet savourd.  
But hakney men say, at mangy hakneys higher  
A scald horse is good enough for a scabde squire.  
He is a knuckylbonyard very meet  
To match a minion neither fair nor sweet.  
But a vengeable wit, and all his delight,  
To give taunts and checks of most spiteful spite.  
In that house commonly such is the cast,  
A man shall as soon break his neck as his fast.  
And yet now such a gyd did her head take,  
That more for my mates than for manner sake,  
We had bread and drink, and a cheese very great.  
But the greatest crabs be not all the best meat,  
For her crabbed cheese, with all the greatness,  
Might well abide the fineness or sweetness.  
Anon he came in. and when he us saw,  
To my companion kindly he did draw.  
And a welfavourd welcome to him he yields,  
Bidding me welcome strangely over the fields.  
With these words. ah young man I know your matter,  
By my faith you come to look in my water.  
And for my comfort to your consolation,  
Ye would, by my purse, give me a purgation.  
But I am laxative enough there otherwise.  
This case (quoth this young man) contrary doth rise.  
For he is purse sick. and lackth a physician.  
And hopeth upon you in some condition.  
Not by purgation, but by restorative.  
To strength his weakness to keep him alive.  
I can not (quoth he) for though it be my lot  
To have speculation, yet I practise not.  
I see much, but I say little, and do less.  
In this kind of physic. and what would ye guess.  
Shall I consume myself, to restore him now?  
Nay, backare (quoth mortimer to his sow)  
He can before this time, no time assyne,  
In which he hath laid down one penny by mine.  
That ever might either make me bite or sup.  
And by'r lady friend. nought ley down nought take up.  
To put me to cost, thou canst half a score miles.  
Out of thine own nest, seek me in these out isles.  
Where thou wilt not step over a straw, I think,  
To win me the worth of one draft of drink.  
No more than I have won of all thy holle stock.  
I have been common jacke to all that hole flock.  
When aught was to do, I was common hackney.  
folk call on the horse that will carry alway.  
But evermore the common horse is worst shod.  
Desert and reward be oft times things far odd.  
At end I might put wy winning in mine eye,  
And see never the worse. for aught I won them by.  
And now without them, I live here at staves end.  
Where I need not borrow, nor I will not lend.  
I pray you (quoth he) pity me a poor man  
With somewhat, till I may work as I can.  
Toward your work (quoth he) ye make such tastings  
As approve you to be none of the hastings,  
Ye ren to work in haste as nine men held ye.  
But when so ever ye to work must yield ye.  
If your meet mate and you meet together.  
Than shall we see two men bear a feather.  
Recompensing former loitering life lose,  
As did the pure penitent that stolen a goose,  
And stak down a feather. And where old folk tell.  
That evil gotten good never proveth well,  
Ye will truly get. and true getting well keep,  
Till time ye be as rich as a new shorn sheep.  
How be it when thrift and you fell first at a fray,  
You played the man, for ye made thrift ren away.  
So help me god, in my poor opinion,  
A man might make a play of this minion.  
And fain no ground, but take tales of his own friends,  
I suck not this out of mine own fingers ends.  
And since ye were wed, although I nought gave you,  
Yet pray I for you, god and saint Luke save you.  
And here is all. For what should I further wade?  
I was neither of court nor of counsel made.  
And it is as I have learned in lystning,  
A poor dog. that is not worth the whistling.  
A day ere I was wed, I bad you (quoth I)  
Scarbrough warning I had (quoth he) whereby,  
I kept me thence, to serve the according.  
And now, if this nights lodging and bording  
May ease thee, and rid me from any more charge,  
Than welcome. or else get the straight at large.  
For of further reward, mark how I boast me.  
In case as ye shall yield me as ye cost me,  
So shall ye cost me as ye yield me likewise.  
Which is, a thing of nought rightly to surmise.  
Here withal his wife to make up my mouth,  
Not only her husbands taunting tale avouthe,  
But thereto deviseth to cast in my teeth,  
Checks and choking oysters. And when she seeth  
Her time to take up, to show my fare at best,  
Ye see your fare (said she) set your heart at rest.  
Far ye well (quoth I) how ever I far now.  
And well moat ye far both when I dine with you.  
Come, go we hens friend (quoth I to my mate)  
And now will I make a cross on this gate.  
For coming here again. Have we not well wrought?  
Men say, as good plai for nought as work for nought  
Well well (quoth he) we be but where we were.  
Come what come would, I thought ere we came there.  
That if the worst fell. we could have but a nay,  
There is no harm done man in all this fray.  
Neither pot broken, nor yet water spilt.  
Farewell he (quoth I) I will as soon be hylt,  
As wait again for the moneshyne in the water.  
But is not this a pretty piked matter?  
To disdain me, who muck of the world hordth not.  
As he doth, it may rhyme but it accordth not.  
She foameth like a boar, the beast should seem bold.  
For she is as fires, as a lion of cotsolde.  
She fryeth in her own grease, but as for my part,  
If she be angry, beshrew her angry heart.  
Let pass (quoth he) and let us be trudging.  
Where some noppy ale is, and soft sweet ludging.  
Be it (quoth I) but I would very fain eat.  
At breakfast and dinner I eete little meat.  
And two hungry meals make the third a glutton.  
We went where we had boiled beef & bake mutton.  
Whereof I fed me as full as a tun.  
And a bed were we ere the clock had nine run.  
Early we rose, in haste to get away.  
And to the ostler this morning by day  
This fellow called, what how fellow, thou knave,  
I pray the let me and my fellow have  
A hear of the dog that boat us last night.  
And bitten were we both to the brain aright,  
We saw each other drunk in the good ale glass,  
And so did each one each other, that there was.  
Save one, but old men say that are skilled,  
A hard fought field, where no man scapeth unkyld.  
The reckoning reckoned, he needs would pay the shot,  
And needs he must for me, for I had it not.  
This done we shaken hands. and parted in fine,  
He into his way, and I into mine.  
But this journey was quite out of my way.  
Many kinsfolk and few friends, some folk say.  
But I find many kinsfolk, and friend not one.  
folk say, it hath been said many years since gone.  
Prove thy friend ere thou have need. but in deed,  
A friend is never known till a man have need.  
Before I had need, my most present foes  
Seemed my most friends. but thus the world goes,  
Every man basteth the fat hog we see,  
But the lean shall burn ere he basted be.  
As saith this sentence, oft and long said before.  
He that hath plenty of goods shall have more.  
He that hath but a little, he shall have less.  
He that hath right nought, right nought shall possess.  
Thus having right nought. & would somewhat obtain,  
With right nought (quoth he) I am retornd again.   

¶ The xii Chapter.  
Well (quoth I) comfort yourself with this old text.  
That telleth us, when bale is hekst, boot is next.  
Though every man may not sit in the chair.  
Yet always the grace of god is worth a fair.  
Take no thought in no case, god is where he was.  
But put case in poverty all your life pass.  
Yet poverty and poor degree, taken well,  
Feedth on this. he that never clymbde, never fell.  
And some case at some time showeth proof somwheare,  
That riches bryngth oft harm. and ever fear,  
Where poverty passeth without grudge of grief,  
What, man the beggar may sing before the thief.  
And who can sing so merry a note,  
As may he, that can not change a groat.  
Ye (quoth he) beggars may sing before thieves,  
And weep before true men, lamenting their grieves.  
Some say, and I feel hunger pierceth stone wall.  
Meat nor yet money, to buy meat withal,  
Have I not so much as may hunger defend  
From my wife and me. Well (quoth I) god will send  
Time to provide for time, right well ye shall see  
God send that provision in time, said he.  
And thus seeming wellnigh weary of his life,  
The poor wretch went to his like poor wretched wife.  
And after this a month, or somewhat less,  
Their landlord came to their house to take a stress  
For rend. to have kept bayard in the stable.  
But that to win any power was unable.  
For though it be ill playing with short daggers,  
Which meaneth, that every wise man staggers,  
In earnest or board to be busy or bold  
With his biggers or betters, yet this is told.  
Where as nothing is, the king must lose his right.  
And thus, king or kaiser must have set them quite.  
But warning to depart thence they needed none.  
For ere the next day the birds were flown each one,  
To seek service. of which where the man was sped,  
The wife could not speed, but maugre her head,  
She must seek else where. for either there, or ny  
Service for any suit she none could espy.  
All folk thought them not only to lither,  
To linger both in one house together,  
But also dwelling nigh under their wings,  
Under their noses, they might convey things.  
Such as were neither too heavy nor to hot,  
More in a month than they their master got  
In a whole year. Whereto folk further weighing,  
receit each of other in their conveying,  
Might be worst of all. For this proverb preeves,  
Where be no receivers, there be no thieves.  
Such hap here happed, that common dread of such guiles,  
drove them and keepeth them asunder many miles.  
Thus though love decree, departure death to be,  
Yet poverty parteth fellowship we see.  
And doth those two true lovers so dissever,  
That meet shall they seldwhan, or haply never.  
And thus by love, without regard of living,  
These twain have wrought each others ill cheving.  
And love hath so lost them the love of their friends,  
That I think them lost, and thus this tale eends.   

The xiii chapter.  
AH sir (said my friend) when men will needs marry,  
I see now, how wisdom and haste may vary.  
Namely where they wed for love all together,  
I would for no good, but I had come hither.  
Sweet beauty with sour beggary, nay I am gone,  
To the wealthy withered widow, by saint john.  
What yet in all haste (quoth I) ye (quoth he)  
For she hath substance enough. and ye see,  
That lack is the loss of these two young fools.  
Know ye not (quoth I) that after wise men's schools,  
A man should here all parts, ere he judge any,  
Why axe ye that (quoth he) for this (quoth I.)  
I told you, when I this began, that I would,  
Tell you of two couples. and I having told  
But of the tone, ye be straight starting away,  
As I of the t'other had right nought to say.  
Or as yourself of them right nought would here,  
Nay not all so (quoth he) but sins I think clear,  
There can no way appear so painful a life,  
Between your young neighbour & his old rich wife,  
As this tale in this young poor couple doth show,  
And that the most good or lest ill ye know.  
To take at end, I was at beginning bend,  
With thanks for this, & your more pain to prevent,  
Without any more matter now revolved,  
I take this matter here clearly resolved.  
And that ye herein award me to forsake,  
Beggarly beauty, & rivyld riches take.  
Thatjust. if the half shall judge the whole (quoth I)  
But yet here the whole, the whole wholly to try.  
To it (quoth he) than I pray you by and by.  
We will dine first (quoth I) for it is noon hy.  
We may as well (quoth he) dine when this is done.  
The longer forenoon the shorter after noon.  
All cometh to one, and thereby men have guessed,  
Alway the longer east the shorter west.  
We have had (quoth I) before ye came, and sin,  
Wether, meet to set paddocks' abroad in.  
Rain, more than enough. & when all shrews have dynd,  
Change from foul wether to fair is oft inclined.  
And all the shrews in this part, saving one wife,  
That must dine with us, have bind pain of my life.  
Now if good change of ill wether be depending,  
Upon her diet, what were mine offending,  
To keep the woman any longer fasting.  
If ye (quoth he) set all this far casting.  
For common wealth▪ as it appeareth a clear case,  
Reason would your will should, and shall take place.   
¶ Thus endeth the first part.   

The second part.  

The first chapter.  
divers can not be long, where dainties want,  
Where coin is not common, commons must be scant.  
In post pace we passed from pottage to cheese,  
And yet this man cried, alas what time we lose.  
He would not let us pause after our repast,  
But apart he plucked me straight, and in all haste,  
As I of this poor young man, and poor young maid,  
Or more poor young wife, the foresaid words had said,  
So prayeth he me now the process may be told,  
Between the other young man, and rich widow old.  
If ye lack that (quoth I) away ye must wind,  
With your holle errand, and half th'answer behind.  
Which thing to do, sens haste thereto showeth you loath,  
And to haste your going, the day away goth,  
And that time lost, again we can not win,  
Without more loss of time this tale I begin.  
In this late old widow, and than old new wife,  
Age and appetite fell at a strong strife.  
Her lust was as young, as her limbs were old.  
The day of her wedding, like one to be sold.  
She set out herself in fine apparel.  
She was made like a beer pot, or a barrel.  
A crooked hooked nose, beetyll browde, blear eyed.  
Many men wished, for beautifying that bride,  
Her waste to be gird in, and for a boon grace,  
Some well favoured visor, on her ill favoured face.  
But with visorlike visage, such as it was,  
She smyrkd, and she smiled, but so lisped this 'las,  
That folk might have thought it done only alone,  
Of wantonness. had not her teeth been gone.  
Upright as a candle standeth in a socket,  
Stood she that day, so sympre de coket,  
Of ancient fathers she took no cure nor care.  
She was to them, as koy as a crokers' mare.  
She took thentertainment of the young men  
All in dalliance, as nice as a nuns hen.  
I suppose that day her ears might well glow.  
For all the town talked of her, high and low.  
One said, a well favoured old woman she is.  
The devil she is, said an other, and to this,  
In came the third, with his. v. eggs, and said,  
thirty year ago I knew her a trim maid.  
What ever she were than (said one) she is now,  
To become a bride, as meet as a sow  
To bear a saddle. She is in this marriage  
As comely as is a cow in a cage.  
Gup with a galled back gill, come up to souper.  
What mine old mare would have a new crupper.  
And now mine old hat must have a new band.  
Well (quoth one) glad is he that hath her in hand.  
A goodly marriage she is, I here say.  
She is so (quoth one) were the woman away.  
Well (quoth an other) fortune this moveth.  
And in this case every man as he loveth.  
Quoth the good man, when that he kissed his cow.  
That kiss (quoth one) doth well here, by god a vow.  
But how can she give a kiss sour or sweet?  
Her chin and her nose, within half an inch meet.  
God is no butcher sir, said an other.  
He shapeth all parts, as each part may fit other.  
Well (quoth one) wisely, let us leave this scanning.  
God speed them. be as be may is no banning.  
That shallbe, shallbe. and with god's grace they shall  
Do well. And that they so may, wish we all.  
This wonder (as wonders last) lasted nine days.  
Which done, & all gests of this feast gone their ways,  
Ordinary household this man began  
Very sumptuousely, which he might well do than,  
What he would have, he might have. his wife was set,  
In such dotage of him, that fair words did fet,  
Gromelsede plenty. and pleasure to prefer,  
She made much of him, & he mocked much of her.  
I was as (I said) much there, and most of all  
The first month. in which time such kindness did fall,  
Between these ii counterfeit turtle burds.  
To see his sweet looks, and here her sweet wurds,  
And to think wherefore they both, put both in ure,  
It would have made a horse break his halter sure.  
All the first fortnight their ticking might have taught,  
Any young couple, their love ticks to have wrought.  
Some laughed. & said, all thing is gay that is green.  
Some thereto said, the green new broom swepith clean  
But since all thing is the worse for the wearing,  
Decay of clean sweeping folk had in fearing.  
And in deed, ere ii months away were crept,  
And her biggest gabs into his bosom swept,  
Where love had appeerd in him to her alway  
Hot as a toast, it grew cold as a key.  
He, at meat carving her, and none else before,  
Now carved he to all but her, & her no more.  
Where her words seemed honey, by his smiling cheer,  
Now are they mustard. he frowneth them to here.  
And when she saw sweet sauce begin to wax sour,  
She waxed as sour as he, and as well could lower.  
So turned they their tippets by way of exchange,  
From laughing to louring, & taunts did so range,  
That in plain terms, plain truth to you to utter,  
They two agreed, like two cats in a gutter.  
Marry sir (quoth he) by scratching and biting  
Cats and dogs come together. by folks reciting,  
Together by the ears they come (quoth I) cheerly.  
How be it those words are not void here clearly,  
For in one state they twain could not yet settle.  
But wavering as the wind. in dock out nettle.  
Now in now out, now here now there, now sad,  
Now merry, now high now low, now good now bad.  
In which unsteady sturdy storms strainable.  
To know how they both were irrefreynable,  
Mark how they fell out, and how they fell in.  
At th'end of a supper she did thus begin.   

The second chapter.  
Husband (quoth she) I would we were in our nest.  
When the belly is full, the bones would be at rest.  
So soon upon supper (said he) no question,  
sleep maketh ill and unwholesome digestion.  
By that diet a great disease once I got.  
And burnt child fire dredth. I will beware of that.  
What a post of physic (said she) ye a post.  
And from post to pillar wife, I have been tossed  
By that surfeit. And I feel a little fit,  
Even now. by former attempting of it.  
Whereby, except I shall seem to leave my wit,  
Before it leave me, I must now leave it.  
I thank god (quoth she) I never yet felt pain,  
To go to bed timely. but rising again  
To soon in the morning, hath me displeased.  
And I (quoth he) have been more diseased,  
By early lying down, than by early rising.  
But thus differ folk lo, in exercising.  
That that one may not, an other may.  
Use maketh mastery. and men many times say,  
That one loveth not, an other doth, which hath sped,  
All meats to be eaten, and all maids to be wed.  
Haste ye to bed now, and rise ye as ye rate.  
While I rise early, and come to bed late.  
Long lying warm in bed is wholesome (quoth she)  
While the leg warmeth, the boot harmeth (quoth he)  
Well (quoth she) he that doth as most men do,  
shallbe lest wondered on. and take any two,  
That be man and wife in all this holle town,  
And most part together, they rise and lie down.  
When birds shall roost (quoth he) at. viii.ix. or ten,  
Who shall appoint their hour. the cock, or the hen.  
The hen (quoth she) the cock quoth he) just (quoth she)  
As jerman's lips. It shall prove, more just (quoth he)  
Than prove I (quoth she) the more fool far away.  
But there is no fool to the old fool, folk say.  
Ye are wise enough (quoth he) if ye keep ye warm,  
To be kept warm, and for none other harm.  
Nor for much more good, I took you to wed.  
I took not you (quoth he) night and day to bed.  
Her carreyne carcase (said he) is so cold,  
Because she is aged, and somewhat to old,  
That she kylth me. I do but roast a stone.  
In warming her. And shall not I save one,  
As she would save an other? yes by saint John.  
A sir (quoth she) marry this gear is alone.  
Who that worst may shall hold the candyll, I see.  
I must warm bed for him should warm it for me.  
This medicine, thus ministered is sharp and cold.  
But all thing that is sharp is short. folk have told,  
This trade is now begun, but if it hold on,  
Then farewell my good days. they will be soon gone.  
Gospel in thy mouth (quoth he) this strife to break.  
How be it, all is not gospel that thou doest speak,  
But what need we lump out love at ones lashing,  
As we should now shake hands. what soft for dashing.  
The fair lasteth all the year. we be new kneets.  
And so late met, that I fear, we part not yet,  
Quoth the baker to the pillory. Which thing  
From distemperate fonding temperance may bring.  
And this reason to aid, and make it more strong,  
Old wise folk say, love me little love me long.  
I say little (said she) but I think more.  
Thought is free. Ye lean (quoth he) to the wrong shore.  
Brawling booted not, he was not that night bend.  
To play the bridegroom, Alone to bed she went.  
This was their beginning of jar. How be it,  
For a beginning, this was a feat fit,  
And but a fleabiting to that did ensue.  
The worst is behind. we come not where it grew.  
How say you (said he to me) by my wife.  
The devil hath cast a bone (said I) to set strife  
Between you, but it were a folly for me,  
To put my hand between the bark and the tree.  
Or to put my finger to far in the fire.  
Between you, and lay my credence in the mire.  
To meddle little for me it is best.  
For of little meddling there cometh great rest.  
Yes ye may meddle (quoth he) to make her wise,  
Without taking harm, in giving your advise.  
She knoweth me not yet, but if she wax to wild,  
I shall make her know, an old knave is no child.  
Slugging in bed with her is worse than watching,  
I promise you, an old sack asketh much pasching.  
Well (quoth I) to morrow I will to my beads,  
To pray, that as ye both will, so ache your heads.  
And in mean time my aching head to ease,  
I will couch a hog's head. Quoth he when ye please.  
We parted, and this within a day or twain,  
Was raakt up in thashes, and covered again.   

¶ The third chapter.  
THese ii days past, he said to me, when ye will  
Come chat at home. all is well. Jack shall have gill.  
Who had the worse end of the staff (quoth I now?)  
Shall the master wear a breech, or none. say you.  
I trust the sow will no more so deep wroote.  
But if she do (quoth he) you must set in foot.  
And whom ye see out of the way, or shoot wide,  
Overshoot not yourself any side to hide.  
But shoot out some words, if she be to hot.  
She may say (quoth I) a fools bolt is soon shot.  
Ye will me to a thankless office here.  
And a busy officer I may appear.  
And Jack out of office she may bid me walk.  
And think me as wise as Waltams calf, to talk,  
Or chat of her charge, having therein nought to do.  
How be it, if I see need, as my part cometh to,  
Gladly between you I will do my best.  
I bid you to dinner (quoth he) as no geste,  
And bring your poor neighbours on your other side.  
I did so. And straight as th'old wife us espied,  
She bade us welcome. and merrily toward me,  
Grene rushes for this stranger, strew here (quoth she)  
With this a part she pulled me by the sleeve.  
Saying in few words, my mind to you to move,  
So it is, that all our great fray the last night,  
Is forgiven and forgotten between us quite.  
And all frays by this I trust have taken end.  
For I fully hope my husband will amend.  
Well amended (thought I) when ye both relent,  
Not to your own, but each to others mendment.  
Now if hope fail (quoth she) & chance bring about  
Any such breach, whereby we fall again out,  
I pray you tell him his pars verse now and then.  
And wink on me also hardly, if ye can  
Take me in any trip. Quoth I, I am loath,  
To meddle commonly. For as this tale goeth,  
Who meddleth in all thing, may show the gosling.  
Well (quoth she) your meddling herein may bring  
The wind calm between us, when it else might rage's.  
I will with good will (quoth I) ill winds to suage,  
Spend some wound at need, though I wast wind in vain.  
To table we sat, where fine fare did remain.  
Merry we were as cup and can could hold,  
Each one with each other homely and bold.  
And she for her part, made us cheer heaven high.  
The first part of dinner merry as a pie.  
But a scald head is soon broken. and so they,  
As ye shall straight here, fell at a new fray.   

¶ The fourth chapter.  
Husband (quoth she) ye study. be merry now.  
And even as ye think now, so come to you.  
Nay not so (quoth he) for my thought to tell right,  
I think how ye lay groaning wife, all last night.  
Husband, a groaning horse, and a groaning wife,  
Never fail their master (quoth she) for my life.  
No wife. a woman hath nine lives like a cat.  
Well my lamb (quoth she) ye may pick out of that,  
As soon goeth the young lambskyn to the market,  
As th'old yews. God forbid wife, ye shall first jet.  
I will not jet yet (quoth she) put no doubting.  
It is a bad sack that will abide no clouting.  
And as we oft see, the loath stake standeth long,  
So is it an ill stake (I have herd among)  
That can not stand one year in a hedge.  
I drink (quoth she) Quoth he, I will not pledge.  
What need all this. a man may love his house well,  
Though he ride not on the ridge, I have herd tell.  
What, I ween (quoth she) proffered service stynkth.  
But somewhat it is, I see, when the cat wynkth,  
And both her eyen out, but further strife to shun,  
Let the cat wink, and let the mous run.  
This past, and he cheered us all. but most cheer,  
On his part, to this fair young wife did appear.  
And as he to her cast oft a loving eye,  
So cast her husband like eye, to his plate by.  
Wherewith in a great musing he was brought.  
Friend (quoth the good man) a penny for your thought.  
For my thought (quoth he) that is a goodly dish.  
But of troth I thought, better to have than wish.  
What. a goodly young wife, as you have (quoth he)  
Nay (quoth he) goodly gilt goblets, as here be.  
By'r lady friends (quoth I) this maketh a show,  
To show you more unnatural than the crow.  
The crow thinketh her own birds fairest in the wood.  
But by your words (except I wrong understood)  
Each others birds or jewels, ye do weigh  
Above your own. True (quoth the old wife) ye say.  
But my neighbours desire rightly to measure,  
Cometh of need. and not of corrupt pleasure,  
And my husbands more of pleasure, than of need.  
Old fish & young flesh (quoth he) doth men best feed.  
And some say, change of pasture maketh fat calves.  
As for that reason (quoth she) ronth to halves.  
As well for the cow calf as for the bull.  
And though your pasture look bareynly and dull,  
Yet look not on the meat, but look on the man.  
And who so looketh on you, shall shortly skan,  
Ye may write to your friends, that ye are in health.  
But all thing may be suffered saving wealth.  
An old said saw, itch and ease, can no man please.  
Plenty is no dainty. ye see not your own ease.  
I see, ye can not see the wood for trees.  
Your lips hang in your light. but this poor man sees  
Both how blindly ye stand in your own light,  
And that you rose on your right side here right.  
And might have gone further, and have faren worse.  
I wot well I might (quoth he) for the purse,  
But ye be a baby of Belsabubs bower.  
Content ye (quoth she) take the sweet with the sour.  
Fancy may bolt bran, and make ye take it flower.  
It will not be (quoth he) should I die this hour,  
While this fair flower flourisheth thus in mine eye.  
Yes, it might (quoth she, and here this reason why.  
snow is white and every man lets it lie.  
And lieth in the dike and every man lets it lie.  
Pepper is black And every man doth it buy.  
And hath a good smack And every man doth it buy.  
Milk (quoth he) is white but all men know it good meat.  
And lieth not in the dyke but all men know it good meat.  
Ink is all black No man will it drink nor eat.  
And hath an ill smack No man will it drink nor eat.  
Thy rhyme (quoth he) is much elder than mine,  
But mine being newer, is truer than thine.  
Thou likenest now, for a vain advantage,  
White snow to fair youth, black pepper to foul age  
Which are placed out of place here by rood.  
Black ink is as ill meat, as black pepper is good.  
And white milk as good meat, as white snow is ill.  
But a milk snow whit smooth young skin, who change will  
For a pepper ink black rough old riveled face?  
Though change be no robbery for the changed case,  
Yet shall that change rob the changer of his wit,  
For who this case searcheth, shall soon see in it,  
That as well agreeth thy comparison in these,  
As a like to compare in taste, chalk and cheese.  
Or a like in colour to dame ink and chalk.  
Walk drab walk. Nay (quoth she) walk knave walk  
saith that term, How be it sir, I, say not so.  
And best we lay a straw here, and even there who.  
or else this gear will breed a pad in the straw.  
If ye hale this way, I will an other way draw.  
Here is god in thambry (quoth I) Quoth he, nay,  
Here is the devil in thorologe, ye may say.  
Sens this (quoth I) rather bringeth bale than boot,  
Wrap it in the cloth, and tread it under foot.  
Ye harp on the string, that giveth no melody.  
Your tongues run before your wits, by saint Antony.  
Mark ye, how she hitteth me on the thumbs (quoth he)  
And ye taunt me tit over thumb (quoth she)  
Sens tit for tat (quoth I) on even hand is set,  
Set the hare's head against the goose ieblet.  
She is (quoth he) bend to for'rs you perfors  
To know, that the grey mare is the better horse.  
She chopth logyk. to put me to my clergy.  
She hath one point of a good hawk, she is hardy.  
But wife, the first point of hawking is hold fast.  
And hold ye fast, I read you, lest ye be cast,  
In your own turn. Nay she will turn the leaf.  
And rather (quoth I) take as falleth in the sheaf,  
At your hands. and let fall her hold. than be to bold,  
Nay, I will spit in my hands, and take better hold.  
He (quoth she) that will be angry without cause,  
Must be at one, without amends. by sage saws.  
Tread a worm on the tail, & it must turn again.  
He taketh pepper in the nose, that I complain  
Upon his faults, myself being faultless.  
But that shall not stop my mouth, ye may well guess.  
Well (quoth I) to much of one thing is not good.  
Leave of this. Be it (quoth he) fall we to our food.  
But sufferance is no quittance in this dayment.  
No (quoth she) nor mysreckning is no payment.  
But even reckoning maketh long friends. my friend.  
For alway own is own, at the recknyngs end.  
This reckoning thus reckoned. and dinner once done,  
We three from them twain, departed very soon.   

¶ The fift chapter.  
THis old woman, the next day after this night,  
Stolen home to me secretly as she might.  
To talk with me, in secret counsel (she said)  
Of things, which in no wise might be bewrayed.  
We twain are one to many (quoth I) for men say,  
Three may keep a counsel, if two be away.  
But all that ye speak, unmeet again to tell,  
I will say nought but mum, and mum is counsel.  
Well than (quoth she) herein avoiding all fears,  
Avoid your children. small pitchers have wide ears.  
Which done (she said) I have a husband, ye know,  
Whom I made of nought, as the thing self doth show  
And for these two causes only him I took.  
first, that he for my love, should lovingly look,  
In all kinds of cause, that love engender might,  
To love and cherish me by day and by night.  
Secondly, the substance, which I to him brought,  
He rather should augment than bring to nought.  
But now my good shall both be spent, ye shall see,  
And it in spending sole instrument shall be  
Of my destruction. by spending it on such  
As shall make him destroy me. I fear this much.  
He maketh havoc. and setteth cock on the hoop.  
He is so laveis, the stock beginneth to droop.  
And as for gain is dead, and laid in tomb.  
When he should get aught, each finger is a thumb.  
Each of his joints against other justles,  
As handsomely as a bear picketh muscles.  
He maketh his martes with merchants likely,  
To bring a shilling to nine pence quickly.  
flattering knaves & queans a sort, beyond the mark.  
Hang on his sleeve, & many hands make light wark.  
If he hold on a while, as he begins,  
We shall see him prove a merchant of eel skins.  
A merchant, without either money or ware.  
But all be bugs words, that I speak to spare.  
Better spare at brim than at bottom, say I,  
Ever spare and ever bare, saith he, by and by.  
Spend, & god shall send (saith he) saith thold balet.  
What sendeth he (say I) a staff and a wallet.  
Than up goth his staff, to send me aloof.  
He is at three words up in the house roof.  
He hath a nest of chickens, which he doth brood,  
That will sure make his hear grow thorough his hood.  
And herein to grow (quoth she) to conclusion,  
I pray your aid, to avoid this confusion.  
And for counsel herein, I thought to have gone,  
To that cunning man, our curate sir Iohn.  
But this kept me back. I have herd now and then,  
The greatest clerks be not all the wisest men.  
I think (quoth I) who ever that term began,  
Was neither great clerk, nor the greatest wise man.  
In your running from him to me, ye run  
Out of gods blessing, in to the warm soon.  
Where the blind ledth the blind, both fall in the dike.  
And blind be we both, if we think us his like.  
folk show much folly, when things should be sped.  
To ren to the foot, that may go to the head,  
sins he best can, and most ought to do it,  
I fear not, but he will, if ye will woe it.  
There is one let (quoth she) more than I spoke on,  
My husband and he be so great, that the ton  
Can not piss, but the t'other must let a fart.  
Choose we him a party, then farewell my part.  
We shall so part stake, that I shall lose the hole.  
Folk say of old, the shoe will hold with the sole.  
Shall I trust him then? nay in trust is treason.  
But I trust you, and come to you this season,  
To hear me, and tell me, what way ye think best,  
To hem in my husband, and set me in rest.  
If ye mind (quoth I) a conquest to make  
Over your husband, no man may undertake  
To bring you to ease, nor the matter amend.  
Except ye bring him to wear a cock's comb at end.  
For take that your husband were, as ye take him.  
As I take him not, as your tale would make him,  
Yet were contention like to do nought in this,  
But keep him nought, & make him worse than he is.  
But in this complaint, for counsel quick and clear,  
A few proverbs for principuls, let us here.  
Who that may not as they would, will as they may.  
And this to this, they that are bound must obey.  
Foly it is to spurn against a prick,  
To strive against the stream, to winch or kick  
Against the hard wall. By this ye may see,  
Being bound to obedience, as ye be,  
And also overmatched, sufferance is your dance.  
He may overmatch me (quoth she) perchance  
In strength of body, but my tongue is a limb,  
To match and to vex every vein of him.  
tongue breaketh bone, itself having none (quoth I)  
If the wind stand in that door, it standeth a wry,  
The peril of prating out of tune by note,  
telleth us, that a good be still is worth a groat.  
In being your own foe, you spin a fair thread.  
Advise ye well, for here doth all lie and bleed.  
Flee thattempting of extremities all.  
folk say, better sit still, than rise and fall.  
And where the small with the great, can not agree,  
The weaker goth to the pot, we all day see.  
So that alway the bigger eateth the bean.  
Ye can nought win, by any wayward mean.  
Where the hedge is lowest, men may soon over.  
Be silent. Let not your tongue run at rover.  
Sens by strife, ye may lose, and can not win,  
Suffer. It is good sleeping in a whole skin.  
If he chide, keep you bill under wing mute.  
Chatting to chiding is not worth a chuet.  
We see many times might overcomth right.  
Were not you as good than to say, the crow is white.  
And so rather let fair words make fools fain.  
Than be plain without plights, & plant your own pain,  
For were ye as plain as Dunstable high way.  
Yet should ye that way rather break a love day,  
Than make one. thus though ye perfectly knew,  
All that ye conjecture to be proved true.  
Yet better dissemble it, and shake it of.  
Than to braid him with it in earnest or scof.  
If he play falsehood in fellowship, play ye,  
See me, and see me not. the worst part to i'll.  
Why think ye me so white lyverd (quoth she?)  
That I will be tongue tied? Nay I warrant ye.  
They that will be afraid of every fart,  
Must go far to piss. Well quoth I, your part  
Is to suffer (I say.) For ye shall preeve,  
Taunts appease not things, they rather agreeve.  
But for ill company, or expense extreme,  
I here no man doubt, so far as ye deem.  
And there is no fire without some smoke, we see.  
Well well, make no fire, raise no smoke (said she)  
What cloak for the rain so ever ye bring me,  
Myself can tell best, where my shoe doth wring me,  
But as ye say, where fire is, smoke will appear.  
And so hath it done. For I did lately here,  
How flek and his make, use their secret haunting,  
By one bird, that in mine ear was late chanting.  
One swallow maketh not summer (said I) men say,  
I have (quoth she) more blocks in his way to lay.  
For further increase of suspicion of ills,  
Beside his jetting in to the town, to his gills.  
With caletts he consumeth himself and my goods,  
Sometime in the fields, sometime in the woods.  
Some here and see him, whom he heareth nor seeth not.  
But fields have eyes, and woods have ears. ye wots.  
And also on my maids he is ever tooting.  
Can ye judge a man (quoth I) by his looking?  
What, a cat may look on a king. ye know,  
My cat's leering look (quoth she) at first show,  
showeth me, that my cat goeth a catterwawing.  
And specially by his manner of drawing,  
To Madge my fair maid. for may he come nigh her,  
He must needs base her, as he cometh by her.  
He loveth well sheep's flesh, that wets his bred in wool.  
If he leave it not, we have a crow to pull.  
He loveth her better at the sole of the foot,  
Than ever he loved me at the heart root.  
It is a foul bird, that fileth his own nest.  
I would have him live as god's law hath expressed.  
And leave lewd tycking. he that will none ill do,  
Must do nothing, that belongeth thereto.  
To tick and laugh with me, he hath lawful leave.  
To that I said nought, but laughed in my sleeve.  
But when she seemed to me fixed in mind,  
Rather to seek for that she was loath to find,  
Then leave that seeking, by which she might find ease.  
I feigned this fancy to feel how it would please.  
Will ye do well (quoth I) take pain to watch him.  
And if ye chance in adultery to catch him,  
Then have ye him on the hip, or on the hyrdell.  
Then have ye his head fast under your girdle.  
Where your words now do but rub him on the gall.  
That deed without words shall drive him to the wall.  
And further than the wall, he can not go.  
But must submit himself. and if it hap so,  
That at end of your watch, he guiltless appear,  
Than all grudge, grown by jealousy, taketh end clear.  
Of all folks I may worst watch him (saith she)  
For of all folks himself most watcheth me.  
I shall as soon try him or take him this way,  
As drive a top over a tyeld house, no nay.  
I may keep corners or hollow trees with thowle,  
This seven years, day and night to watch a bowl,  
Before I shall catch him with undoubted evil.  
He must have a long spoon, shall eat with the devil.  
And the devil is no falser than is he.  
I have oft heard tell, it had need to be  
A wily mouse, that should breed in the cat's ear.  
Shall I get within him than? nay ware that gear.  
It is hard halting before a cripple, ye wots.  
A falser water drinker there liveth not.  
When he hunteth a do, that he can not avow,  
All dogs bark not at him, I warrant you.  
Namely not I, I say, though, as I said,  
He sometime, though seldom, by some be bewrayed.  
Close hunting (quoth I) the good hunter alowth.  
But be your husband never so still of mouth,  
If ye can hunt, and will stand at receit,  
Your maid examined, maketh him open strait.  
That were (quoth she) as of my truth to make proof,  
To axe my fellow, whether I be a thief.  
They cleave together like burrs. that way I shall  
Pike out no more, than out of the stone wall.  
Then like ye not to watch him for wife nor maid.  
No (quoth she.) Nor I (quoth I) what ever I said.  
And I mislike not only your watch in vain,  
But also if ye took him. what could ye gain?  
From suspicion to knowledge of ill. for sooth  
Could make ye do, but as the flounder doth,  
Leap out of the frying pan into the fire.  
And change from ill pain to worse is worth small hire.  
Let time try. time trieth troth in every doubt.  
And dame the best, till time hath tried the troth out.  
And reason saith, make not two sorrows of one.  
But ye make ten sorrows, where reason maketh none.  
For where reason (as I said) willeth you to wink,  
(Although all were proved, as ill as ye think)  
Contrary to reason ye stamp and ye stare.  
Ye frete and ye fume, as mad as a march hare.  
Without proof to his reproof present or passed.  
But by such report, as most prove lies at last.  
And here goth the hare away, for ye judge all,  
And judge the worst in all, or proof in aught fall.  
But blind men should judge no colours. by old saws,  
And folk ofttimes are most blind in their own cause.  
The blind eat many flies. how be it the fancy,  
Of your blindness cometh not of ignorancy,  
Ye could tell another herein, the best way.  
But it is as folk do. and not as folk say,  
As ye can seem wise in words, be wise in deed.  
That is (quoth she) sooner said than done, I dread▪  
But me thinketh your council weyth in the whole,  
To make me put my finger in a hole.  
And so by sufferance to be so lither,  
In my house, to ley fire and tow together.  
But if they fire me, some of them shall win  
More tow on their distaffs, than they can well spin.  
And the best of them shall have both their hands full,  
Bolster or pillow for me, be whose will.  
I will not bear the devils sack, by saint Audery.  
For conceling suspicion of their bawdry.  
I fear false measures, or else I were a child.  
For they that think none ill, are soonest beguiled.  
And thus though much water go by the mill,  
That the miller knoweth not of, yet I will  
Cast what may scape. and as though I did find it,  
With the clak of my mill, to fine meal grind it.  
And sure or I take any rest in effect,  
I must banish my maids, such as I suspect.  
Better it be done than wish it had been done.  
As good undone (quoth I) as do it to soon.  
Well (quoth she) till soon, far ye well, and this  
Keep now as secret, as ye think meet is.  
Out at doors went she herewith. and hereupon  
In at dors came he forthwith as she was gone.  
And, without any temprate protestation,  
Thus he began, in way of exclamation.   

The vi chapter.  
OH what choice may compare, to the devils life,  
Like his, that hath chosen a devil to his wife.  
Namely such an old witch, such a mackabroyne,  
As evermore like a hog hangeth the groin,  
On her husband. except he be her slave,  
And follow all fancies, that she would have.  
This proverb proveth, there is no good accord,  
Where every man would be a lord.  
Wherefore my wife willbe no lord, but lady.  
To make me, that should be her lord, a baby.  
Before I was wedded, and sense. I made reckoning▪  
To make my wife bow at every beckoning.  
Bachelors boast, how they will teach their wives good,  
But many a man speaketh of Robin hood,  
That never shot in his bow. When all is sought,  
Bachelors wives, & maids children be well taught.  
And this with this, I also begin to gather,  
Every man can rule a shrew save he that hath her.  
At my will I wend she would have wrought, like wax.  
But I find and feel, she hath found such knakx.  
In her bouget, and such toys in her head,  
That to dance after her pipe I am nigh led.  
It is said of old, an old dog biteth sore.  
But by god, th'old bitch biteth sorer and more.  
And not with teeth (she hath none) but with her tongue.  
If all tales be true (quoth I) though she be stung,  
And thereby sting you, she is not much to blame.  
For what ever you say, thus goeth the fame,  
When folk first saw your substance laid in your lap,  
Without your pain, with your wife brought by good hap  
Oft in remembrance of haps happy devise,  
They would say, better to be happy than wise.  
Not minding thereby than, to deprave your wit,  
For they had good hope, to see good proof of it.  
But since their good opinion therein so cools,  
That they say as oft, god sendeth fortune to fools.  
In that as fortune without your wit gave it,  
So can your wit not keep it when ye have it.  
saith one, this gear was gotten on a holy day.  
saith an other, who may hold that will away.  
This game from beginning, showeth what end is meant.  
Soon gotten soon spent, ill gotten ill spent.  
Ye are called not only to great a spender,  
To frank a giver, and as free a lender,  
But also ye spend give and lend, among such,  
Whose lightness minisheth your honesty as much,  
As your money, and much they disallow,  
That ye bribe all from her, that brought all to you.  
And spend it out at doors, in spite of her,  
Because ye would kill her, to be quite of her.  
For all kindness of her part, that may rise,  
Ye show all thunkindness ye can devise.  
And where reason and custom (they say) afoords  
Alway to let the losers have their words,  
You make her a cookqueyn, and consume her good.  
And she must sit like a bean in a monks hood.  
Bearing no more rule, than a goose turd in thames.  
But at her own maidens becks, winks, or hems.  
She must obey those lambs, or else a lambs skin,  
Ye will provide for her, to lap her in.  
This biteth the mare by the thumb, as they say.  
For were ye, touching condition (say they)  
The castle of honesty in all things else.  
Yet should this one thing as their holle tale tells,  
Defoyle and deface that castle to a cottage.  
One crop of a tourde marrth a pot of pottage.  
And some to this, cry, let him pass, for we think,  
The more we stir a tourde, the wours it will stink.  
With many conditions good, one that is ill,  
Defaceth the flower of all, and doth all spill.  
Now (quoth I) if you think they truly clatter,  
Let your amendment amend the matter.  
Half warned half armed. this warning for this I show,  
He that hath an ill name, is half hanged. ye know.   

¶ The vii chapter.  
Well said (said he) marry sir here is a tale,  
For honesty, meet to set the devil on sale.  
But now am I forced, a bead roll to unfold,  
To tell somewhat more to the tale I erst told.  
Grow this, as most part doth, I durst hold my life,  
Of the jealousy of dame julok my wife,  
Than shall ye wonder, when truth doth define,  
How she can, and doth here, both bite and whine.  
Frenzy, heresy, and jealousy are three,  
That men say hardly or never cured be.  
And all though jealousy need not or boot not,  
What helpeth that counsel, if reason root not.  
And in mad jealousy she is so far gone,  
She thinketh I run over all, that I look on.  
Take good heed of that (quoth I) for at a word,  
The proverb saith, he that striketh with the sword,  
shallbe stricken with the scabbard. Tush (quoth he)  
The devil with my scabbard will not strike me,  
But my dame taking suspicion for full proof,  
Reporteth it for troth, to the most mischief.  
In words gold and hole, as men by wit could wish.  
She will lie as fast as a dog will lick a dish.  
She is of troth as falls, as god is true.  
And if she chance to see me at a view  
Kiss any of my maids alone, but in sport,  
That taketh she in earnest▪ after Bedleem sort.  
The cow is wood. Her tongue ronth on patens.  
If it be morn, we have a pair of matins.  
If it be even, evensong. not latin nor greek,  
But english, and like thutas in easter week.  
She beginneth, first with a cry a leysone.  
To which she ringth a peal, a larom. such one,  
As folk ring bees with basons. the world ronth on wheels.  
But except her maid show a fair pair of heel's,  
She haileth her by the booy rope, till her brains ache.  
And bring I home a good dish, good cheer to make,  
What is this (saith she) Good meat (say I) for you.  
God a mercy horse, a pig of mine own sow.  
Thus when I see, by kindness ease renewth not,  
And than, that the eye seeth not, the heart rewth not,  
And that he must needs go, whom the devil doth drive,  
her forhis forsing me, for mine ease to contrive,  
To let her fast and fret alone for me,  
I go where merry chat, and good cheer may be.  
Much spend I abroad, which at home should be spent,  
If she would leave controlling, and be content.  
There leapt a whiting (quoth she) and leapt in straight.  
Ye shall straight here (quoth she) a pretty conceit.  
He maketh you believe, by lies laid on by load,  
My brawling at home, maketh him banquet abroad.  
Where his banquets abroad, make me brawl at home,  
For as in a frost, a mud wall made of lome  
Cracketh and crummeth in pieces asunder,  
So melteth his money, to the worlds wonder.  
Thus may ye see, to turn the cat in the pan,  
Or set the cart before the horse, well he can.  
He is but little at home, the truth is so.  
And forth with him he will not let me go.  
And if I come to be merry where he is,  
Than is he mad. as ye shall here by this.  
Where he with gossips at a banquet late was,  
At which as use is, he paid all. but let pass.  
I came to be merry. wherewith merrily,  
Proface. Have among you blind harpers (said I.)  
The more the merrier, we all day here and see.  
Ye but the fewer the better fare (said he)  
Then here were, ere I came (quoth I) to many.  
Here is little meat left, if there be any.  
And it is ill coming, I have hard say,  
To th'end of a shot, and beginning of a fray.  
Put up thy purse (quoth he) thou shalt none pay.  
And fray here should be none, were thou gone thy way.  
Here is, sins thou camest, to many feet a bed.  
Welcome when thou goest. thus is thine errand sped.  
I come (quoth I) to be one here, if I shall,  
It is merry in hall, when beards wag all.  
What bid me welcome pig. I pray the kiss me.  
Nay farewell sow (quoth he) our lord bliss me  
From bassing of beasts of bear binder lane,  
I have (quoth I) for fine sugar, fair rats bane.  
Many years since, my mother said to me,  
Her elders would say, it is better to be  
An old man's darling, than a young man's whirling.  
And god knoweth, I knew none of this snerling.  
In my old husband's days. for as tenderly,  
He loved me, as ye love me slenderly.  
We drew both by one line. Quoth he, would to our lord  
Ye had in that drawing, hanged both in one cord.  
For I never meet the at flesh nor at fish,  
But I have sure a dead man's head in my dish.  
Whose best and my worst day, that wished might be,  
Was when thou didst bury him, and marry me.  
If you (quoth I) long for change in those cases,  
Would to god he and you had changed places.  
But best I change place. for here I may be spared.  
And for my kind coming, this is my reward.  
Claw a churl by thars, and he shiteth in my hand.  
Knak me that nut. much good doit you all this band.  
Must she not (quoth he) be welcome to us all,  
Among us all, letting such a farewell fall?  
But such carpenters, such chips. Quoth she folk tell,  
Such lips, such letise. such welcome, such farewell.  
Thine own words (quoth he) thine own welcome marred  
Well (said she) when so ever we twain have iard,  
My words be pried at narrowly, I espy.  
Ye can see a mote in an other man's eye,  
But ye can not see a baulk in your own.  
Ye mark my words, but not that they be grown.  
By revellous riding on every roil.  
Well nigh every day a new mare or a moil.  
As much unhonest. as unprofitable,  
Which shall bring us shortly to be unable,  
To give a dog a loaf. as I have oft said.  
How be it your pleasure may no time be denayed.  
But still you must have, both the finest meat,  
Apparel, and all thing that money may get,  
Like one of fond fancy so fine and so neat,  
That would have better bread than is made of wheat.  
The best is best cheap (quoth he) men say clear.  
Well (quoth she) a man may buy gold to dear,  
Ye neither care, nor wellnigh cast what ye pay,  
To buy the dearest for the best alway.  
But wise men can say, against hewing to high,  
Hew not to high, lest the chyps' fall in thine eye.  
Measure is a merry mean, as this doth show.  
Not to hy for the pie, nor to low for the crow.  
The difference between staring, and stark blind,  
The wise man at all times to follow can find.  
And iwis an auditor of a mean wit,  
May soon account, though hereafter come not yet.  
Yet is he sure be the day never so long,  
Evermore at last they ring to evensong.  
And where ye spend much, though ye spent but lickell,  
Yet little and little the cat eateth the flickell.  
little loss by length may grow importable.  
A mouse in time, may bite a two, a gable.  
Thus to end of all things, be we lief or loath,  
Yet lo the pot so long to the water goeth,  
Till at the last it cometh home broken.  
Few words to the wise suffice to be spoken.  
If ye were wise, here were enough (quoth she)  
Here is enough, and to much, dame (quoth he)  
For though this appear a proper pulpit piece,  
Yet when the fox preacheth, than beware our geese.  
Thou wouldest have me hynch & pinch, like a snudge,  
Every day to be thy drivel, or thy drudge.  
Not so (quoth she) but I would have ye stur  
Honestly, to keep the wolf from the dur.  
Oft said the wise man, whom I erst did very,  
Better are meals many, than one to merry.  
Well (quoth he) that is answered with this. wife.  
Better is one months cheer, than a churls hole life.  
I think it learning of a wiser lectour,  
To learn to make myself mine own exectour.  
Than spare for an other, that might wed thee,  
As the fool, thy first husband. spared for me,  
And as for ill places, thou seekest me in more,  
And in worse to. than I into any go.  
Whereby this proverb showeth the in by the week.  
No man will an other in the oven seek,  
Except that himself have been there before,  
God give grace thou hast been good. I say no more.  
And would have the say less. except thou couldst prove  
Such process, as thou slanderously dost move.  
For slander perchance (quoth she) I not deny.  
It may be a slander, but it is no lie.  
It is a lie (quoth he) and thou a liar.  
Will ye (quoth she) drive me to touch ye nigher?  
I rub the galled horse back till he winch, and yet.  
He would make it seem, that I touch him no whit.  
But I wots what I wots, though I few words make,  
Many kiss the child for the nurses sake.  
Ye have many godchyldrens to look upon,  
And ye bless them all, but ye base but one.  
This half shewth, what the holle meanth, that I meeve.  
Ye fet circumquaques to make me believe  
Or think, that the moon is made of a green cheese.  
And when ye have made me a lout in all these,  
It seemeth ye would make me go to bed at noon.  
Nay (quoth he) the day of doom shall be done  
Ere thou go to bed at noon, or night, for me,  
Thou art, to be plain and not to flatter thee,  
As wholesome a morsel for my comely cors,  
As a shoulder of mutton for a sick horse.  
Thou makest me claw where it itcheth not. I would  
Thy tongue were cooled to make thy tales more cold.  
That aspen leaf, such spiteful clapping hath bred,  
That my cap is better at ease than my head.  
God send that head (said she) a better nurs.  
For when the head acheth, all the body is the worse.  
God grant (quoth I) the head and body both too,  
To nurs each other, better than they do,  
Or ever have done for the most times paste,  
I brought to nurs both (quoth she) had not been waste,  
Margery good cow (quoth he) gave a good meal,  
But than she cast it down again with her heel.  
How can her purse for profit be delightful?  
Whose person and properties be so spiteful  
As are thine. Sure a man were better beg,  
Or sit with a roasted appull, or an egg,  
Where his appetite serveth him to be,  
Than every day to far like a duke with the.  
Like a duke, like a duck (quoth she) thou shalt far,  
Except thou wilt spare, more than thou dost yet spare.  
Thou farest to well (quoth he) but thou art so wood,  
Thou know'st not who doth the harm, who doth the good  
Yes yes (quoth she) for all those wise words uttered,  
I know on which side my bread is buttered,  
But there will no butter cleave on my bread.  
And on my bread any butter to be spread,  
Every promise that thou therein dost utter,  
Is as sure, as it were sealed with butter.  
Or a mouse tied with a thread. Every good thing,  
Thou lettest even slip, like a wag halter slypstring.  
But take up in time, or else I protest,  
All be not abed, that shall have ill rest.  
Now go to thy derlings, and declare thy grief.  
Where all thy pleasure is. hop whore, pipe thief?   

¶ The eight chapter.  
With this thence hoped she, wherewith o lord he cried  
What wretch but I, this wretchedness could bide  
How be it in all this woe, I have no wrong,  
For it only is all on myself along.  
Where I should have bridled her first with rough bit,  
To have made her chowe on the bridle one fit,  
For likorous lucre of a little winning,  
I gave her the bridle at beginning.  
And now she taketh the bridle in the teeth,  
And runth away with it, whereby each man seeth,  
It is (as old men right well understand)  
Ill putting a naakt sword in a mad man's hand.  
She taketh such heart of grass, that though I maim her,  
Or kill her, yet shall I never reclaim her,  
She hath (they say) been stiff necked evermore.  
And it is ill healing of an old sore.  
This proverb prophesied many years agone,  
It will not out of the flesh, thatbred in the bone.  
What chance have I, to have a wife of such sort,  
That will no fault amend, in earnest nor sport,  
A small thing amiss late I did espy.  
Which to make her mend, by a jest merrily,  
I said but this, taunt tyvet wife, your nose drops.  
So it may fall, I will eat no browesse sops  
This day. But two days after this came in ure,  
I had sorrow to my sops enough be sure.  
Well (quoth I) it is ill jesting on the sooth.  
Soothe board is no board, in aught that mirth doth.  
Such jests could not juggle her, were aught amiss.  
Nor turn melancholy to mirth. for it is  
No playing with a straw before an old cat,  
Every trifling toy age can not laugh at.  
Ye may walk this way, but sure ye shall find,  
The further ye go, the further behind.  
Ye should consider, the woman is old.  
And what for a hot word. soon hot, soon cold.  
Bear with them, that bear with you. & she is scanned,  
Not only the fairest flower of your garland,  
But also she is all the fair flowers thereof.  
Will ye requite her than with a taunting scof?  
Or with any other kind of unkindness?  
Take heed is a fair thing. Beware this blindness.  
Why will ye (quoth he) I shall follow her will?  
To make me Iohn drawlache, or such a snekebill.  
To bring her solas, that bryngth me sorrow,  
By'r lady, than we shall catch birds to morrow.  
A good wife maketh a good husband (they say)  
That (quoth I) ye may turn an other way.  
To make a good husband, make a good wife.  
I can no more herein, but god stint all strife.  
Amen (quoth he) and god a mercy brother,  
I will now mend this house, and pair an other.  
And that he meant of likelihood by his own.  
For so apairde he that, ere three years were grown,  
That little and little he decayed so long,  
Till he at length came to buckle and bare thong.  
To discharge charge, that necessarily grew,  
There was no more water than the ship drew.  
Such dryfts drove he, from ill to wars and wars,  
Till he was as bare as a birds ars.  
Money, and money worth, did so miss him,  
That he had not now, one penny to bliss him.  
Which foreseen in this woman wisely weighing,  
That meet was to stay somewhat for her staying,  
To keep yet one mess for Alyson in store.  
She kept one bag, that he had not seen before.  
A poor cook that may not lick his own fingers.  
But about her at home now still he lingers.  
Not chequer a board, all was not clear in the cost,  
He looked like one, that had beshyt the roast.  
But whether any secret tales were sprinkling,  
Or that he by guess had got an inkling  
Of her hoard. or that he thought to amend,  
And turn his ill beginning to a good end.  
In showing himself a new man, as was feet,  
That appeared shortly after, but not yet.   

¶ The ninth chapter.  
ONe day in their arbour, which stood so to mine,  
That I might, and did closely mine ear incline,  
And likewise cast mine eye to here and see,  
What they said and did, where they could not see me.  
He unto her a goodly tale began,  
More like a wooer, than a wedded man,  
As far as matter thereof therein served,  
But the first part from words of wooing swerved.  
And stood upon repentance, with submission,  
Of his former crooked unkind condition.  
Praying her, to forgive and forget all free,  
And he forgave her, as he forgiven would be.  
Loving her now, as he full deeply swore,  
As hotly, as ever he loved her before.  
Well well (quoth she) what ever ye now say,  
It is to late to call again yesterday.  
Wife (quoth he) such may my diligence seem.  
That th'offence of yesterday I may redeem.  
God taketh me as I am, and not as I was.  
Take you me so to, and let all things past pas.  
I pray the good wife, think I speak & think plain.  
What, he ronth far, that never turneth again.  
Ye be young enough to mend, I agree it.  
But I am (quoth she) to old to see it.  
And mend ye or not, I am to old a year.  
What is life? where living is extinct clear.  
Namely at old years of least help and most need.  
But no tale could tune you, in time to take heed.  
If I tune myself now (quoth he) it is fair.  
And hope of true tune, shall tune me from despair.  
Believe well and have well. men say. Ye. said she,  
Do well and have well. men say also, we see.  
But what man can believe, that man can do well.  
Who of no man will counsel take or here tell.  
Which to you, when any man any way tried,  
Than were ye deaf. ye could not here on that side.  
Who ever with you any time therein wears,  
He must both tell you a tale and find you ears.  
You had on your harvest ears, thick of hearing.  
But this is a question of old enquering,  
Who is so deaf, or so blind, as is he,  
That wilfully will neither here nor see.  
When ye saw your manner, my heart for woe, molte,  
Than would ye mend, as the fletcher mends his bolt.  
Or as sour ale mendthe in summer, I know,  
And knew, which way the wind blew, & will blow.  
Though not to my profit, a prophet was I.  
I prophesied this, to true a prophecy.  
When I was right ill believed, and worse hard.  
By flinging from your folks at home, which all marred▪  
When I said in semblance either cold or warm,  
A man far from his good, is nigh his harm.  
Or wild ye to look, that ye lost no more,  
On such as show, that hungry flies bite sore,  
Than would ye look over me, with stomach swollen,  
Like as the devil looked over Lyncolne.  
The devil is dead wife (quoth he) for ye see.  
I look like a lamb, in all your words to me.  
Look as ye list now (quoth she) thus looked ye then,  
And for those looks I show this, to show each man,  
Such proof of this proverb, as none is greater,  
Which saith, that some man may steal a horse better,  
Than some other may stand and look upon.  
Lewd housewives might have words. but I not one  
That might be aloud. But now if ye look,  
In mistaking me, ye may see, ye took  
The wrong way to wood, & the wrong sow by there  
And thereby in the wrong box to thrive ye wear.  
I have heard some, to some tell this tale not field,  
When thrift is in the town, ye be in the field.  
But contrary, you made that sense to sown,  
When thrift was in the field, ye were in the town.  
Field ware might sink or swim, while ye had any,  
Town ware was your ware, to turn the penny.  
But town or field, where most thrift did appear.  
What ye won in thundered, ye lost in the shear.  
In all your good husbandry, thus rid the rock,  
Ye stumbled at a straw, and leapt over a block.  
So many kinds of increase you had in choice,  
And nought increase nor keep, how can I rejoice?  
For as folk have a saying, both old and true,  
In that they say, black will take none other hue,  
So may I say here, to my deep dolour,  
It is a bad cloth, that will take no colour.  
This case is yours. For ye were never so wise,  
To take speck of colour, of good advise.  
Thaduise of all friends I say, one and other  
Went in at the tone ear, and out at the t'other.  
And as those words went out, this proverb in came.  
He that will not be ruled by his own dame,  
Shall be ruled by his stepdame, and so you,  
Having lost our own good, and own friends now,  
May seek your foreign friends. if you have any,  
And sure one of my great griefs, among many,  
Is, that ye have been so very a hog,  
To my friends. What man, love me, love my dog.  
But you, to cast precious stones before hogs,  
Cast my good before a sort of cur dogs.  
And assault bitches. Which by whom now devoured,  
And your honesty among them deflowered,  
And that ye may no more expense afford,  
Now can they not afford you one good word.  
And you them as few. And old folk understood,  
When thieves fall out, true men come to their good.  
Which is not alway true. For in all that bretche,  
I can no ferthing of my good the more fetch.  
Nor I trow themselves neither. if they were sworn.  
Light come light go. And sure since we were borne,  
Ruin of one ravin, was there none greater.  
For by your gifts, they be as little the better,  
As you be much the worse. and I cast away.  
An ill wind, that blowth no man to good, men say.  
Well (quoth he) every wind blowth not down the corn  
I hope (I say) good hap be not all out worn.  
I will now begin thrift, when thrift seemeth gone.  
What wife, there be more ways to the wood than one.  
And I will assay all the ways to the wood,  
Till I find one way, to get again this good.  
Ye will get it again (quoth she) I fear,  
As shortly as a horse will lick his ear.  
The Dutch man saith, that segging is good cope.  
Good words bring not ever of good deeds good hope  
And these words show your words spoken in scorn.  
It pricketh betimes that will be a good thorn.  
Timely crookth the tree, that will a good camok be.  
And such beginning such end. we all day see.  
Now you by me at beginning being thriven,  
And than to keep thrift could not be pricked nor driven  
How can ye now get thrift, the stock being gone?  
Which is th'only thing to raise thrift upon.  
Men say, he may ill run, that can not go,  
And your gain, without your stock, reneweth even so.  
For what is a workman, without his tools.  
Tales of Robin hood are good among fools.  
He can ill pipe, that lackth his over lip.  
Who lackth a stock, his gain is not worth a chip.  
A tale of a tub, your tale no truth avowth,  
Ye speak now, as ye would creep into my mouth.  
In pure painted process, as false as fair,  
How ye will amend, when ye can not appear.  
But against gay glossers this rude text recites,  
It is not all butter, that the cow shites.  
Your tale hath like taste, where temperance is taster,  
To break my head, and than give me a plaster.  
Now thrift is gone, now would ye thrive in all haste.  
And when ye had thrift, ye had like haste to waste.  
Ye liked than better an inch of your will,  
Than an ell of your thrift. Wife (quoth he) be still.  
May I be holp forth one inch at this pinch,  
I will yet thrive (I say) As good is an inch  
As an ell. Ye can (quoth she) make it so, well.  
For when I gave you an inch, ye took an ell.  
Till both ell and inch be gone, and we in det.  
Nay (quoth he) with a wet finger ye can fet,  
As much as may easily all this matter ease,  
And this debate also pleasantly appease.  
I could do as much with an hundred pound now,  
As with a thousand afore, I assure you.  
Ye (quoth she) who had that he hath not, would  
Do that he doth not, as old men have told.  
Had I, as ye have, I would do more (quoth he)  
Than the priest spoke of on sunday, ye should see.  
Ye do, as I have (quoth she) for nought I have,  
And nought ye do. What man, I trow ye rave.  
Would ye both eat your cake, and have your cake?  
Ye have had of me all that I might make.  
And be a man never so greedy to win,  
He can have no more of the fox but the skin.  
Well (quoth he) if ye list to bring it out,  
Ye can give me your blessing in a clout.  
That were for my child, (quoth she) had I any,  
But husband, I have neither child, nor money.  
Ye cast and conjecture this much like in show,  
As the blind man casts his staff, or shoots the crow.  
Howbeit had I money right much, and ye none,  
Yet to be plain, ye should have none, for jone.  
Nay, he that first flattereth me, as ye have done.  
And doth as ye did to me after, so soon,  
He may be in my Pater noster in deed.  
But be sure, he shall never come in my Crede.  
ave Maria (quoth he) how much motion  
Here is to prayers, with how little devotion.  
But some men say, no penny no Pater noster.  
I say to such (said she) no longer foster  
No longer leman. But fair and well than,  
Pray and shift each one for himself, as he can.  
Every man for himself, and god for us all.  
To those words he said nought, but forthwith did fall,  
From harping on that string, to fair flattering speech.  
And as I erst said, he did her so beseech,  
That things erst so far of, were now so far on,  
That as she may wallow, away she is gone,  
Where all that was left lay with a trusty friend,  
dwelling a good walk from her at the towns end.  
And back again straight a halting pace she hobles.  
bringing a bag of royals and nobles.  
All that she had, without restraint of one jot.  
She brought bullocks noble. for noble or groat,  
Had she not one more. Which I after well knew.  
And anon smiling, toward him as she drew,  
A sir, light burden far heavy (quoth she)  
This light burden in long walk wellnigh tierth me.  
God give grace, I play not the fool this day.  
For here I send thaxe after the helve away.  
But if ye will stint, and avoid all strife,  
Love and cherish this as ye would my life.  
I will (quoth he) wife, by god almighty.  
This gear cometh even in Pudding time rightly.  
He snatched at the bag. No haste but good (quoth she)  
Short shooting loseth your game, ye may see.  
Ye mist the cushyn, for all your haste to it.  
And I may set you beside the cushyn yet,  
And make ye wipe your nose upon your sleeve,  
For ought ye shall win without ye axe me leave.  
Have ye not herd tell, all covet all lose?  
Ah sir, I see, ye may see no green cheese,  
But your teeth must water. A good coknay coke.  
Though ye love not to buy the pig in the poke,  
Yet snatch ye at the poke, that the pig is in,  
Not for the poke, but the pig good cheap to win.  
Like one half lost, till greedy grasping got it,  
Ye would be over the style, or ye come at it.  
But abide friend, your mother bid till ye were borne.  
Snatching wynth it not. if ye snatch till to morn.  
Men say (said he) long standing & small offering  
Maketh poor parsons. & in such signs & proffering  
Many pretty tales, and merry toys had they,  
Before this bag came fully from her away.  
Howbeit, at last she took it him, and said,  
He should bear it, for that it now heavy weighed.  
With good will wife. for it is (said he to her)  
A proud horse that will not bear his own provamder.  
And oft before seemed she never so wise,  
Yet was she now, suddenly waxed as nice  
As it had been a halfpennyworth of silver spoons.  
Thus cloudy mornings turn to clear after noon.  
But so nigh noon it was, that by and by,  
They rose, and went to dinner lovingly.   

¶ The tenth chapter.  
THis dinner thought he long. & straight after that,  
To his accustomed customers he got.  
With whom in what time he spent one groat before,  
In less time he spendth now, ten groats or more.  
And in small time he brought the world so about,  
That he brought the bottom of the bag clean out.  
His gadding thus again made her ill content,  
But she not so much as dreamt that all was spent.  
How be it suddenly she minded on a day,  
To pick the chest lock, wherein this bag lay.  
determining this. if it lay whole still,  
So shall it lie, no mite she minyshe will.  
And if the bag began to shrink, she thought best,  
To take for her part, some part of the rest.  
But straight as she had forthwith opened the lock,  
And looked in the bag, what it was a clock,  
Than was it proved true, as this proverb goeth,  
He that cometh last to the pot, is soon wroth.  
By her coming last, and to late to the pot.  
Whereby she was potted, thus like a sot,  
To see the pot both skymd for running over,  
And also all the lykour run at rover.  
At her good husbands and her next meeting,  
The devils good grace might have given a greeting.  
Either for honour or honesty as good  
As she gave him: She was (as they say) horn wood.  
In no place could she sit, herself to settle.  
It seemed to him, she had pyst on a nettle.  
She nettled him, and he rattled her so,  
That at end of that fray, asunder they go.  
And never after came together again.  
He turned her out at durs, to graze on the plain.  
And himself went after. For within fortnight,  
All that was left, was launched out quite.  
And thus had he brought haddock to paddock,  
Till they both were not now worth a haddock.  
It hath been said, need maketh the old wife troth.  
Other folk said it, but she did it. god wots.  
first from friend to friend, & than from dur to dur,  
A begging to some that had begged of hur.  
But as men say, misery may be mother,  
Where one beggar is driven to beg of an other.  
And thus ware, and wasted this most woeful wretch.  
Till death from this life, did her wretchedly fetch.  
Her late husband, and now widower, here and there  
wandering about few know, and fewer care where.  
Cast out as an abject, he leadeth his life,  
Till famine by like, fet him after his wife.  
Now let us note here. first of the first twain,  
Where they both wedded together, to remain,  
Hoping joyful presence should wear out all wo.  
Yet poverty brought that joy to ieofayle, lo.  
But notably note these last twain where as he  
took her only, for that he rich would be.  
And she him only in hope of good hap,  
In her doting days to be danced on the lap,  
In condition they differed so many ways,  
That lightly he laid her up for holy days.  
Her good he laid up so, lest thieves might spy it,  
That neither she could, nor he can come by it.  
Thus failed all four of all things less and more,  
Which they all, or any of all, married fore.   

The leventhe chapter.  
Forsooth (said my friend) this matter maketh boast,  
Of dimmution. For here is a mill post  
Thwitten to a Pudding prick so nearly,  
That I confess me discouraged clearly,  
In both my weddings, in all things except one.  
This spark of hope have I, to proceed upon.  
Though these, and some other sped ill as ye tell,  
Yet other have lived and loved full well.  
If I should deny that (quoth I) I should rave.  
For of both these sorts, I grant, that myself have  
Seen of the tone sort, and heard of the t'other.  
That liked and lived right well, each with other.  
But whether fortune will you, that man declare.  
That shall choose in this choice, your comfort or care  
Sens, before ye have chosen, we can not know,  
I thought to lay the worst, as ye the best show.  
That ye might, being yet at liberty,  
With all your joy, join all your jeopardy.  
And now this herd, in these cases on each part,  
I say no more, but lay your hand on your heart.  
I hertily thank you (quoth he) I am sped  
Of mine errand. This hitteth the nail on the head.  
Who that leaveth surety, and leaneth to chance,  
When fools pipe, by authority he may dance.  
And sure am I, of those twain, if I none choose,  
Although I nought win, yet shall I nought lose.  
And to win a woman here, and lose a man,  
In all this great winning, what gain win I than?  
But mark how folly hath me away carried.  
How like a weathercock have I here varied.  
first these two women to lose I was so loath,  
That if I might, I would have wedded them both.  
Than thought I since, to have wedded one of them.  
And now know I clear, I will wed none of them.  
They both shall have this one answer by letter,  
As good never a whit as never the better.  
Now let me axe (quoth I) and yourself answer  
The short question, that I asked while ere.  
Afoule old rich widow, whether wed would ye,  
Or a young fair maid, being poor as ye be.  
In neither barrel better hearing (quoth he)  
I like thus, riches as ill as poverty.  
Who that hath either of these pigs in ure,  
He hath a pig of the worse panier sure.  
I was wedded unto my will. how be it,  
I will be devorst, and be wed to my wit.  
Whereby with these example's paste, I may see,  
Fond wedding, for love, or good only, to flee.  
Only for love, or only for good,  
Or only for both. I wed not, by my hood.  
Thus no one thing only, though one thing chief  
Shall woe me to wed now, for now I espy,  
Although the chief one thing in wedding be love,  
Yet must more things join, as all in one may move  
Such kind of living, for such kind of life,  
As, lacking the same, no lack to lack a wife.  
Here is enough, I am satisfied (said he.)  
Sens enough is enough (said I) here may we,  
With that one word take end good, as may be jest.  
For folk say, enough is as good as a feast.   
FINIS.   

¶ IMPRINTED at London in Fleetstreet by Thomas Berthelet printer to the kings highness.  
Cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum. ANNO. M.D.XLVI.