A new merry Ballad I have here to show,  
Come pence a piece for them, I tell you but so.   
To an old tune, newly furbished. You'd do so, would you not, Yes I warrant you.  

 

MY Masters attend,  
unto me give ear:  
To speak like a friend,  
I mean not to spare,  
Great store of abuses,  
unto you I'll show,  
Good counsel refuse not,  
I tell you but so.   

Take heed of false Jesuits,  
and Masspriests so vile,  
That many poor people,  
oft do beguile:  
If you be ruled by them,  
I do well know:  
Your Souls in great danger,  
I tell you but so.   

The Pope they will tell you,  
can pardon your sins:  
All deeds meritorious,  
heaven itself wins:  
To Rome on pilgrimage,  
if you will but go;  
Home again like an Ass,  
I tell you but so.   

If Physic for your health,  
you mean to take:  
Or seek ease for your teeth,  
when they do ache;  
Unto Quacksalvers,  
nor Mountebanks go,  
Their medicines white dogs turd,  
I tell you but so.   

They have a rare medicine,  
to kill all the Fleas,  
Great skill also  
at parching of Pease,  
My Bréech hath caught the cough  
of them I'd feign know,  
What's good for the wholesome,  
I tell you but so.   

Beware of false whores  
enticing baits,  
To work your destruction,  
they'll use many sleights:  
Remember the Proverb,  
put fire to tow:  
You are in danger of burning  
I tell you but so.   

Their beauty is painting,  
their love it is as tart:  
Honey in the mouth,  
but Gall in the heart.  
If you keep them compamy,  
and with them go,  
You may ride with them to Tyburn,  
I tell you but so.   

You that for nothing  
will go to Law,  
Uexing your neighbours,  
for a stick or a straw,  
Because of your lawing,  
your purse will grow low:  
You'll prove yourselves Coxecombs  
I tell you but so.   

Forget not I say,  
that Emblem so rare,  
Which teaches you how,  
the Oyster to share,  
Thou must have one shell,  
the other thy foe,  
The fish is the Lawyers,  
I tell you but so.   

Regard not the hatred,  
of lewd idle people:  
Momus doth look awry,  
like Grantham steeple:  
Reveal not thy secrets,  
in friend, nor to foe,  
There's falsehood in friendship  
I tell you but so.   

In gaming and drinking,  
spend no time away,  
Youth cannot last long,  
age will decay.  
Hoist Sails up my friend,  
if wind do fairly blow;  
Yet keep still in Compass,  
I tell you but so.   

In choice of a wife,  
choose modest and chaste,  
For beauty decayeth,  
when virtue doth last.  
Unto Fortune-tellers,  
at no time go:  
For they will but cheat you,  
I tell you but so.    

The second part.  
To the same tune.  
 

TAke heed how you come,  
into the Usurer's jaws:  
Their gripes are more fearful  
than Eagles claws.  
Keep hands friend from bonds  
and suretyship to:  
The Beggar will catch you,  
I tell you but so.   

The Broker, his brother,  
is as bad or worse:  
If they but a little  
money disburse:  
They'll suck out your marrow  
your heart's blood also:  
Their dangerous Uipers,  
I tell you but so.   

The Devil their grandsire,  
taught them their trade:  
Since which time they have,  
great use of it made.  
The poors hearts to grate,  
so causing their woe,  
Amend else you'll rue it,  
I tell you but so.   

All you wicked livers,  
punks, Doxies and knaves,  
That bring many people,  
to untimely graves.  
The Carts they are ready,  
the Beadles also,  
You must tug like Horses,  
I tell you but so.   

You Pimps, Cheats & Panders  
& such roaring boys,  
That in Alehouse & Taverns  
do still make a noise,  
The Carters call for you,  
come away, so ho,  
You must tug lusty lively Lads,  
I tell you but so.   

You idle Nick-nine-holes,  
and Tom-Pigeon-holes,  
That spend your time idly,  
not regarding your Souls,  
The Carts they are ready,  
the Beadles also,  
They will lash you neatly,  
I tell you but so.   

You neat nimming Diverse  
of Cutpurse-Hall,  
To draw in the Cart  
fear you not at all,  
New-gate's prepared,  
there you must go,  
And after to Tyburn  
I tell you but so.   

A drunkard last night,  
in the Watch being taken,  
His Wenches had gulled him  
and himself forsaken.  
The Constable asked him,  
where he would go,  
His answer was always,  
I tell you but so.   

Unto the Counter,  
they sent him away,  
Where swearing and roaring,  
all night he lay.  
A hole he did love,  
to the hole he must go,  
Where he had cold comfort,  
I tell you but so.   

Here comes a Cavilléere,  
fough how he doth smell,  
Of Musk, and of Civet,  
Cat's turds would do well.  
Why is he perfumed?  
O now I do know,  
He has got Morbus Gallicus,  
I tell you but so.   

Fine mincing Minikin,  
in Coach must be jogged,  
She hath got a great belly,  
at playing leapfrog,  
She says 'tis a Timpany  
causeth her woe,  
'tis true 'tis a live one,  
I tell you but so.   

Fine Susan at dancing,  
doth take great delight.  
The Garland she winneth,  
from all the Maids quite,  
She has a fault in the turn,  
but not on the toe,  
She turned late unto a man,  
he turned her also.   

The world at the 〈◊〉  
of nothing was mader,  
Plain-dealing then,  
was the only Trade,  
But afterward worse & worse  
it did still grow;  
God mend it, or end it,  
I tell you but so.   

And thus to conclude,  
an end for to make,  
Colen doth grumble,  
my stomach doth ache:  
A packing penny,  
if you will bestow,  
I will go to Dinner,  
I tell you but so.    
FINIS.   

London▪ Printed for F. G.