THE ENGLISH TRAVELLER. AS IT HATH BEEN Publicly acted at the cockpit In Drury-lane: By Her Majesty's servants.  
Written by THOMAS HEYWOOD.  
Aut prodesse solent, aut delectare—  
LONDON, Printed by Robert Raworth: dwelling in Old Fish-street, near Saint Mary maudlin's Church. 1633.   

Dramatis Personae.  

Geraldine.  
Dalavill. Two young Gentlemen.  
Old Wincott The husband.  
His Wife A young Gentlewoman.  
Prudentilla Sister to the wife.  
Reignald A parasitical servingman.  
Robin A country servingman.  
Lionell A riotous Citizen.  
Blanda A Whore.  
Scapha A Bawd.  
Rioter A Spendthrift  
Two Gallants His Companions.  
Roger the Clown Servant to Old Wincott.  
Two prostitutes Companions with Blanda.  
Old Lionell A Merchant father to young Lionell.  
A Servant To Old Lionell.  
Old Mr. Geraldine Father to young Geraldine.  
An Usurer and his man.  
A Gentleman Companion with Dalavill.  
Bess Chambermaid to Mistress Wincott.  
A Tavern Drawer.  
Master Ricott A Merchant.  
The Owner of the house, supposed to be possessed.    

TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL Sir HENRY APPLETON, Knight Baronet, &c.  
NOBLE SIR,  
FOr many reason I am induced, to present this Poem, to your favourable acceptance; and not the least of them that alternate Love, and those frequent courtesies which interchangeably passed, betwixt yourself and that good old Gentleman, mine uncle (Master Edmund Heywood) whom you pleased to grace by the Title of Father: I must confess, I had altogether slept (my weakliness and bashfulness discouraging me) had they not been wakened and animated, by that worthy Gentleman your friend, and my countryman, Sir William Elvish, whom (for his unmerited love many ways extended towards me,) I much honour; Neither Sir, need you to think it any undervaluing of your worth, to undertake the patronage of a Poem in this nature, since the like hath been done by Roman Laelius, Scipio, Maecenas, and many other mighty Princes and Captains, Nay, even by Augustus Caesar himself, concerning whom Ovid is thus read, Detristi: lib. 2.  
Inspice ludorum sumptus Auguste tuorum  
Empta tibimagno, talia multa leges.  
Haec tu spectasti, spectandaque saepe de desti  
Maiestas adeo comis ubique tua est.  
So highly were they respected in the most flourishing estate of the Roman Empire; and if they have been vilefied of late by any separistical humorist, (as in the now questioned Histriomastix) I hope by the next Term, (Minerva assistente) to give such satisfaction to the world, by vindicating many particulars in that work maliciously exploded and condemned, as that no Gentleman of quality and judgement, but shall therein receive a reasonable satisfaction; I am loath by tediousness to grow troublesome, therefore conclude with a grateful remembrance of my service intermixed with myriads of zealous wishes for your health of body, and peace of mind, with superabundance of Earth's blessings, and heaven's graces, ever remaining;  
Yours most observant, Thomas Heywood.   

To the Reader.  
IF Reader thou hast of this Play been an auditor? there is less apology to be used by entreating thy patience. This tragicomedy (being one reserved amongst two hundred and twenty, in which I have had either an entire hand, or at the least a main finger, coming accidentally to the Press, and I having Intelligence thereof, thought it not fit that it should pass as filius populi, a Bastard without a Father to acknowledge it: True it is, that my Plays are not exposed unto the world in Volumes, to bear the title of Works, (as others) one reason is, That many of them by shifting and change of Companies, have been negligently lost, Others of them are still retained in the hands of some Actors, who think it against their peculiar profit to have them come in Print, and a third, That it never was any great ambition in me, to be in this kind Volumniously read. All that I have further to say at this time is only this: Censure I entreat as favourably, as it is exposed to thy view freely. ever  Studious of thy Pleasure and Profit, Thomas Heywood.  

The Prologue.  
A Strange Play you are like to have, for know,  
We use no Drum, nor Trumpet, nor Dumb show;  
No Combat, Marriage, not so much today,  
As Song, Dance, Masque, to bombast out a Play;  
Yet thèse all good, and still in frequent use  
With our best Poets; nor is this excuse  
Made by our Author, as if want of skill  
Caused this defect; it's rather his self will:  
Will you the reason know? There have so many  
Been in that kind, that He desires not any  
At this time in His Scene, no help, no strain,  
Or flash that's borrowed from another's brain;  
Nor speaks He this that He would have you fear it,  
He only tries if once bare Lines will bear it;  
Yet may't afford, so please you silent sit,  
Some Mirth, some Matter, and perhaps some Wit.   

THE ENGLISH TRAVELLER.  

Actus primus.  

Scena prima.  Enter young Geraldine and master Dalavill. Dal. 
OH friend, that I to mine own Notion  
Had joined but your experience; I have the  
Theoric, But you the practice.  Y. Ger. 
I perhaps, have seen what you have only read of.  Dal. 
There's your happiness.  
A Scholar in his study knows the stars,  
Their motion and their influence, which are fixed,  
And which are wandering, can decipher Seas,  
And give each several Land his proper bounds;  
But set him to the Compass, he's to seek,  
When a plain Pilot can, direct his course  
From hence unto both th'Indies; can bring back  
His ship and charge, with profits quintuple.  
I have read jerusalem, and studied Rome,  
Can tell in what degree each City stands,  
Describe the distance of this place from that,  
All this the Scale in every Map can teach,  
Nay, for a need could punctually recite  
The Monuments in either; but what I  
Have by relation only, knowledge by travel  
Which still makes up a complete Gentleman,  
Proves eminent in you.  Y. Ger. 
I must confess,  
I have seen jerusalem and Rome, have brought  
Mark from th'one, from th'other Testimony,  
Know Spain, and France, and from their airs have sucked  
A breath of every language: but no more  
Of this discourse since we draw near the place  
Of them we go to visit.  Enter Clown. Clo. 
Noble master Geraldine, worshipful master Dalavill.  Dal. 
I see thou still remember'st us.  Clo. 
Remember you, I have had so many memorandums from the multiplicities of your bounties, that not to remember you were to forget myself, you are both most ingeniously and nobly welcome.  Y. Ger. 
And why ingeniously and nobly?  Clo. 
Because had I given your welcomes other attributes than I have done, the one being a Soldier, and the other seeming a Scholar, I should have lied in the first, and showed myself a kind of blockhead in the last.  Y. Ger. 
I see your wit is nimble as your tongue,  
But how doth all at home?  Clo. 
Small doings at home sir, in regard that the age of my Master corresponds not with the youth of my Mistress, and you know cold january and lusty May seldom meet in conjunction.  Dal. 
I do not think but this fellow in time may for his wit and understanding make Almanacs?  Clo. 
Not so sir, you being more judicious than I, I'll give you the pre-eminence in that, because I see by proof you have such judgement in times and seasons.  Dal. 
And why in times and seasons?  Clo. 
Because you have so seasonably made choice, to come so just at dinner time; you are welcome Gentlemen, I'll go tell my Master of your coming.  Exit Clown. Dal. 
A pleasant knave.  Y. Ger. 
This fellow I perceive  
Is well acquainted with his Master's mind,  
Oh 'tis a good old man.  Dal. 
And she a Lady.  
For Beauty and for Virtue unparalleled,  
Nor can you name that thing to grace a woman  
She has not in a full perfection,  
Though in their years might seem disparity.  
And therefore at the first, a match unfit;  
Imagine but his age and government,  
Withal, her modesty, and chaste respect;  
Betwixt them, there's so sweet a sympathy,  
As crown a noble marriage.  Y. Ger. 
'tis acknowledged,  
But to the worthy gentleman himself,  
I am so bound in many courtesies,  
That not the least, by all th' expression  
My Labour, or my Industry can show,  
I will know how to cancel.  Dal. 
Oh you are modest.  Y. Ger. 
He studies to engross me to himself,  
And is so wedded to my company,  
He makes me stranger to my Father's house,  
Although so near a neighbour.  Dal. 
This approves you,  
To be most nobly propertied, that from one  
So exquisite in judgement, can Attract  
So affectionate an eye.  Y. Ger. 
Your character,  
I must bestow on his unmerited jove,  
As one that know I have it, and yet ignorant  
Which way I should deserve it: Here both come.  Enter old Mr. Wincott, Wife, Prudentilla the sister, and the Clown. Winc. 
Gentlemen, welcome, but what need I use  
A word so common, unto such to whom  
My house was never private; I expect  
You should not look for such a needle's phrase,  
Especially you Master Geraldine,  
Your Father is my neighbour, and I know you,  
Even from the Cradle, than I loved your Infancy,  
And since your riper growth bettered by travel;  
My wife and you, in youth were playfellows,  
And nor now be strangers; as I take it,  
Not above two years different in your Age.  Wife. 
So much he hath out stripped me.  Winc. 
I would have you  
Think this your home, free as your Father's house,  
And to command it, as the Master on 't;  
Call boldly here, and entertain your friends,  
As in your own possessions, when I see't,  
I'll say you love me truly, not till then;  
Oh what a happiness your Father hath,  
Far above me, one to inherit after him,  
Where I (Heaven knows) am childless.  Y. Ger. 
That defect  
Heaven hath supplied in this your virtuous Wife,  
Both fair, and full of all accomplishments.  
My Father is a Widower, and herein  
Your happiness transcends him.  Wife. 
Oh Master Geraldine,  
Flattery in Men's an adjunct of their sex,  
This Country breeds it, and for that, so far  
You needed not to have travelled.  Y. Ger. 
truth's a word,  
That should in every language relish well,  
Nor have I that exceeded.  Wife. 
Sir, my Husband  
Hath took much pleasure in your strange discourse  
About jerusalem and the Holy Land;  
How the new City differs from the old,  
What ruins of the Temple yet remain,  
And whether Zion, and those hills about,  
With these Adjacent Towns and Villages,  
Keep that proportioned distance as we read;  
And then in Rome, of that great pyramis  
Reared in the Front, on four lions Mounted,  
How many of those Idol Temples stand,  
First dedicated to their Heathen gods,  
Which ruined, which to better use repaired,  
Of their Pantheon, and their Capitol,  
What Structures are demolished, what remain.  Winc. 
And what more pleasure to an old man's ear,  
That never drew, save his own country's air,  
Then hear such things related. I do exceed him  
In years, I must confess, Yet he much older  
Than I in his experience.  Prud. 
Master Geraldine,  
May I be bold to ask you but one question.  
The which I'd be resolved in.  Y. Ger. 
Any thing, that lies within my knowledge.  Winc. 
Put him to't,  
Do Sister, you shall find him (make no doubt)  
Most pregnant in his answer.  Prud. 
In your travels  
Through France, through Savoy, and through Italy,  
Spain, and the Empire, Greece and Palestine,  
Which breeds the choicest beauties.  Y. Ger. 
Intruth Lady,  
I never cast on any in those parts  
A curious eye of censure, since my Travel  
Was only aimed at Language, and to know;  
These past me but as common objects did,  
Seen, but not much regarded.  Prud. 
Oh you strive  
To express a most unheard of modesty,  
And seldom found in any Traveller,  
Especially of our Country, thereby seeking  
To make yourself peculiar.  Y. Ger. 
I should be loath  
Profess in outward show to be one Man,  
And prove myself another.  Prud. 
One thing more,  
Were you to marry, You that know these climbs,  
Their states and their conditions, out of which  
Of all these countries would you choose your wife.  Y. Ger. 
I'll answer you in brief, (as I observe)  
Each several clime for object, fare, or use,  
Affords within itself, for all of these  
What is most pleasing to the man there borne;  
Spain, that yields scant of food, affords the Nation  
A parsimonious stomach, where our appetites  
Are not content but with the large excess  
Of a full table; where the pleasing'st fruits  
Are found most frequent, there they best content;  
Where plenty flows, it asks abundant Feasts;  
For so hath provident Nature dealt with all;  
So in the choice of Women, the Greek wantoness  
compelled beneath the Turkish slavery,  
Vassal themselves to all men, and such best  
Please the voluptuous, that delight in change;  
The French is of one humour, Spain another,  
The hot Italian he's a strain from both,  
All pleased with their own nations even the moor,  
He thinks the blackest the most beautiful;  
And Lady, since you so far tax my choice,  
I'll thus resolve you; Being an English man,  
'mongst all these Nations I have seen or tried,  
To please me best, here would I choose my bride.  Pru. 
And happy were that Lady, in my thoughts,  
Whom you would deign that grace too.  Wife. 
How now Sister,  
This is a fashion that's but late come up,  
For maids to court their husbands.  Winc. 
I would wife  
It were no worse, upon condition,  
They had my helping hand and purse to boot,  
With both in ample measure; oh this Gentleman,  
I love, nay almost dote on.  Wife. 
Ya've my leave,  
To give it full expression.  Winc. 
In these arms then,  
Oh had my youth been blessed with such a son,  
To have made my estate to my name hereditary,  
I should have gone contented to my grave,  
As to my bed; to death, as to my sleep;  
But Heaven hath will in all things, once more welcome,  
And you sir, for your friend's sake.  Dal. 
Would I had in me,  
That which he hath, to have claimed it for mine own,  
however, I much thank you.  Enter Clown. Winc. 
Now sir, the news with you.  Clo. 
Dancing news sir,  
For the meat stands piping hot upon the dresser,  
The kitchen's in a heat and the Cook hath so bestirred himself,  
That he's in a sweat. The Jack plays Music, and the Spits  
Turn round to't.  Winc. 
This fellows my best clock,  
He still strikes true to dinner.  Clo. 
And to supper too sir, I know not how the day goes with you, but my stomach hath struck twelve, I can assure you that.  Winc. 
You take us unprovided Gentlemen,  
Yet something you shall find and we would rather  
Give you the entertain of household guests,  
Then compliment of strangers, I pray enter.  Exeunt. Manet Clo. Clo. 
I'll stand to't, that in good hospitality, there can be nothing found that's ill, he that's a good housekeeper, keeps a good table, a good table, is never without good stools, good stools, seldom without good guests, good guests, never without good cheer, good cheer, cannot be without good stomachs, good stomachs, without good digestion, good digestion, keeps men in good health, and therefore all good people, that bear good minds, as you love goodness, be sure to keep good meat and drink in your houses, and so you shall be called good men, and nothing can come on't but good, I warrant you.  Exit.  

Actus Primus. Scena Secundus.  Enter two serving-men Reignald and Robin. Reig. 
Away you Corridon.  Rob. 
Shall I be beat out of my Masters house thus?  Reig. 
Thy Master, we are Lords amongst ourselves,  
And here we Live and Reign, Two years already  
Are past of our great Empire, and we now  
Write, Anno Tertio.  Rob. 
But the old man lives,  
That shortly will depose you.  Reig. 
Ith' mean time,  
I, as the mighty Lord and seneschal  
Of this great house and castle, banish thee,  
The very smell o'th' kitchen, be it death,  
To appear before the dresser,  Rob. 
And why so?  Reig. 
Because thou stinkest of garlic, is that breath  
Agreeing with our Palace, where each Room,  
Smells with Musk, Civet, and rich Ambergris,  
aloes, Cassia, aromatic-gums,  
Perfumes, and Powders, one whose very garments  
Scent of the fowls and stables, oh fie, fie,  
What a base nasty rogue 'tis.  Rob. 
Yet your fellow.  Reig. 
Then let us put a carthorse in rich trappings.  
And bring him to the Tiltyard.  Rob. 
Prank it, do,  
Waste, Riot, and Consume, Misspend your Hours  
In drunken Surfeits, lose your days in sleep,  
And burn the nights in Revels, Drink and Drab,  
Keep Christmas all year long, and blot lean Lent  
Out of the Calendar; all that mass of wealth  
Got by my Master's sweat and thirsty care,  
Havoc in prodigal uses; Make all fly,  
pour't down your oily throats, or send it smoking  
Out at the tops of chimneys: At his departure,  
Was it the old man's charge to have his windows  
Glister all night with Stars? his modest House  
Turned to a common Stews? his Beds to palates  
Of Lusts and Prostitutions? his buttery hatch  
Now made more common than a tavern's bar,  
His Stools that welcomed none but civil guests,  
Now only free for Panders, Whores and Bawds,  
Strumpets, and such.  Reig. 
I suffer thee too long,  
What is to me thy country, or to thee  
The pleasure of our City? thou hast Cows,  
Cattle, and Beeves to feed, Oues and Boves,  
These that I keep, and in this pasture graze,  
Are dainty damosellas, bonny Girls;  
If thou be'st borne to Hedge, Ditch, Thrash and Plough  
And I to Revel, Banquet and carouse;  
Thou peasant, to the Spade and Pickaxe, I  
The Battoon and stiletto think it only  
Thy ill, my good, our several lots are cast,  
And both must be contented.  Rob. 
But when both our services are questioned.  Reig. 
Look thou to one,  
My answer is provided.  Enter Y. Lionell. Rob. 
Farewell Musk-Cat.  Exit. Reig. 
adieu good Cheese and onions, stuff thy guts  
With Speck and Barley-pudding for digestion,  
Drink Whig and sour Milk, whilst I rinse my Throat,  
With Bordeaux and canary.  Y. Lio. 
What was he?  Reig. 
A Spy Sir,  
One of their Hinds o'th' country, that came prying  
To see what dainty fare our kitchen yields,  
What Guests we harbour, and what rule we keep,  
And threats to tell the old man when he comes;  
I think I sent him packing.  Y. Lio. 
It was well done.  Reig. 
A whoreson-Jack-an-apes, a base Baboon,  
To insinuate in our secrets.  Y. Lio. 
Let such keep, the Country where their charge is.  Reig. 
So I said Sir.  Y. Lio. 
And visit us when we command them thence,  
Not search into our counsels.  Reig. 
'Twere not fit.  Y. Lio. 
Who in my father's absence should command,  
Save I his only son?  Reig. 
It is but justice.  Y. Lio. 
For am not I now Lord?  Reig. 
Dominus fac totum.  
And am not I your Steward?  Y. Lio. 
Well remembered,  
This night I have a purpose to be Merry,  
jovial and Frolic, how doth our cash hold out?  Reig. 
The bag's still heavy.  Y. Lio. 
Then my heart's still light.  Reig. 
I can assure you, yet 'tis pretty deep,  
Though scarce a mile to th' bottom.  Y. Lio. 
Let me have  
to Supper, Let me see, a Duck—  Reig. 
Sweet Rogue.  Y. Lio. 
A Capon—  Reig. 
Geld the Rascal.  YOUNG Lio. 
Then a Turkey—  Reig. 
Now spit him for an Infidel.  Y. Lio. 
Greene Plover, Snite,  
Partridge, Lark, Cock, and pheasant.  Reig. 
ne'er a widgeon?  Y. Lio. 
Yes, wait thyself at Table.  Reig. 
Where I hope yourself will not be absent.  Y. Lio. 
Nor my friends.  Reig. 
we'll have them then in plenty.  Y. Lio. 
Caviar, Sturgeon, Anchoves, pickle Oysters: Yes,  
And a Potato Pie; besides all these,  
What thou think'st rare and costly.  Reig. 
Sir, I know  
What's to be done; the stock that must be spent,  
Is in my hands, and what I have to do,  
I will do suddenly.  Y. Lio. 
No butcher's meat,  
Of that, beware in any case.  Reig. 
I still remember,  
Your father was no Grazier, if he were,  
This were a way to eat up all his Fields,  
Hedges and all.  Y. Lio. 
You will be gone sir.  Reig. 
Yes, and you are i'th' way going.  Exit. Y. Lio. 
To what may young men best compare themselves?  
Better to what, than to a house new built?  
The Fabric strong, the Chambers well contrived,  
Polished within, without, well beautified;  
When all that gaze upon the Edifice,  
Do not alone commend the workman's craft,  
But either make it their fair precedent  
By which to build another, or at least,  
Wish there to inhabit: Being set to sale,  
In comes a slothful Tenant, with a Family  
As lazy and debauched; Rough tempests rise,  
Untile the roof, which by their idleness,  
Left unrepaired, the stormy showers beat in,  
Rot the main Posts and Rafters, spoil the Rooms,  
Deface the Seelings, and in little space,  
Bring it to utter Ruin, yet the fault,  
Not in the Architector that first reared it,  
But him that should repair it: So it fares  
With us young men; we are those houses made,  
Our Parents raise these Structures, the foundation  
Laid in our Infancy; and as we grow  
In years, they strive to build us by degrees,  
Story on story higher; up at height,  
They cover us with Council, to defend us  
From storms without: they polish us within,  
With Learnings, Knowledge, Arts and disciplines;  
All that is nought and vicious, they sweep from us,  
Like Dust and Cobwebs, and our Rooms concealed,  
Hang with the costliest hangings; 'bout the Walls,  
Emblems and beauteous Symbols pictured round;  
But when that lazy Tenant, Love, steps in,  
And in his Train, brings Sloth and Negligence,  
Lust, Disobedience, and profuse Excess;  
The Thrift with which our fathers tiled our Roofs,  
Submits to every storm and Winter's blast,  Enter Blanda a Whore, and Scapha a Bawd. 
And yielding place to every riotous sin,  
Gives way without, to ruin what's within:  
Such is the state I stand in.  Blan. 
And how doth this Tire become me?  Sca. 
Rather ask, how your sweet carriage,  
And Court behaviour, doth best grace you, for Lovers regard,  
Not so much the outward habit, as that which the garment covers.  Y. Lio. 
Oh here's that Hail, Shower, Tempest, Storm, and Gust,  
That shattered hath this building; Let in Lust,  
Intemperance appetite to Vice; withal,  
Neglect of every Goodness; Thus I see,  
How I am sinking in mine own disease,  
Yet can I not abide it.  Bla. 
And how this Gown? I prithee view me well,  
And speak with thy best judgement.  Sca. 
What do you talk of Gowns, and Ornaments;  
That have a Beauty, precious in itself,  
And becomes any thing.  Y. Lio. 
Let me not live, but she speaks nought but truth,  
And I'll for that reward her.  Bla. 
All's one to me, become they me, or not,  
Or be I fair, or foul, in others eyes,  
So I appear so to my Lionell,  
He is the glass, in whom I judge my face,  
By whom in order, I will dress these curls,  
And place these jewels, only to please him,  
Why dost smile.  Sca. 
To here a Woman, that thinks herself so wise, speak so foolishly, that knows well, and does ill.  Bla. 
Teach me wherein I err.  Sca. 
I'll tell thee Daughter; In that thou knowest thyself to be beloved of so many, and settlest thy affection, only upon one; Doth the Mill grind only, when the Wind sits in one corner? Or Ships only Sail, when it's in this, or that quarter? Is he a cunning Fencer, that lies but at one Guard? Or he a Skilful Musician, that plays but on one String? Is there but one way to the Wood? And but one Bucket that belongs to the Well? To affect one, and despise all other, becomes the precise Matron, not the Prostitute; the loyal Wife, not the loose Wanton: Such have I been, as you are now, and should learn, to Sail with all Winds, defend all Blows, make Music with all Strings, know all the ways, to the Wood, and like a good travelling Hackney, learn to drink of all Waters.  Y. Lio. 
May I miscarry in my Blanda's love;  
If I that old damnation, do not send  
To Hell, before her time.  Bla. 
I would not have you Mother, teach me aught,  
That tends to injure him.  Sca. 
Well look to't when 'tis late, and then repent at leisure, as I have done; Thou seest, here's nothing but Prodigality and Pride, Wantoning, and Wasting, Rioting, and Revelling, Spoiling, and Spending, Gluttony, and gormandizing, all goes to Havoc, and can this hold out? When he hath nothing left, to help himself, how can he Harbour thee? Look at length, to Drink from a dry Bottle, and feed from an empty Knapsack, look too 't, 'twill come to that.  Y. Lio. 
My parsimony shall begin in thee,  
And instantly, for from this hour, I vow,  
That thou no more shalt Drink upon my cost,  
Nor taste the smallest Fragment from my Board;  
I'll see thee starve i'th' street first.  Sca. 
Live to one man? a jest, thou may'st as well, tie thyself to one Gown; and what Fool, but will change with the Fashion, Yes, do, Confine thyself to one Garment, and use no Variety, and see how soon it will Rot, and turn to Rags.  Y. Lio. 
Those Rags, be thy Reward; Oh my sweet Blanda,  
Only for Thee, I wish my Father dead,  
And ne'er to Rouse us from our Sweet delight;  
But for this Hag, this Beldame, she whose back,  
Hath made her Items, in my mercer's Books,  
Whose raucous Guts, I have Stuffed with Delicates,  
Nay even to Surfeit; And whose frozen Blood,  
I have Warmed with Aquavitae; Be this day  
My last of Bounty, to a Wretch Ingrate,  
But unto Thee, a new Indenture Scaled,  
Of an affection fixed, and Permanent,  
I'll love thee still, be 't but to give the lie,  
To this old Cankered Worm.  Bla. 
Nay, be not angry.  Y. Lio. 
With thee, my Soul shall ever be at peace,  
But with this love seducer, still at War.  Enter Rioter and two Gallants. Sca. 
hear me but speak.  Y. Lio. 
Ope but thy lips again, it makes a way,  
To have thy Tongue plucked out.  Rio. 
What all in Tempest?  Y. Lio. 
Yes, and the Storm, raised by that Witches Spells.  
Oh 'tis a Damned Enchantress.  Rio. 
What's the business?  Bla. 
Only some few words, slipped her unawares,  
For my Sake, make her peace.  Rio. 
You charge me deeply,  
Come Friend, will you be Moved at women's Words,  
A man of your known judgement?  Y. Lio. 
Had you but heard,  
The damned Erroneous Doctrine that she taught,  
You would have judged her to the Stake.  Bla. 
But Sweet heart,  
She now Recants those Errors, once more Number her  
Amongst your Household servants.  Rio. 
Shall she beg, and be denied aught from you?  Bla. 
Come this Kiss, Shall end all former quarrels.  Rio. 
'Tis not possible,  
Those Lips should move in vain, that two ways plead;  
Both in their Speech, and Silence.  Y. Lio. 
You have prevailed,  
But upon this Condition, no way else,  
I'll censure her, as she hath Sentenced thee;  
But with some small Inversion,  Rio. 
Speak, how's that?  Bla. 
Not too severe, I prithee see poor wretch,  
She at the bar, stands quaking.  Y. Lio. 
Now, hold up?  Rio. 
How man, how?  Y. Lio. 
Her hand, I mean; And now I'll sentence thee,  
According to thy Council given to her:  
Sail by one Wind; Thou shalt, to one tune Sing,  
Lie at one Guard, and Play but on one String,  
Henceforth, I will Confine thee to one Garment,  
And that shall be a cast one, Like thyself  
Just, past all Wearing, as thou past all Use,  
And not to be renewed, till't be as Ragged,  
As thou art Rotten.  Bla. 
Nay sweet.  Y. Lio. 
That for her habit.  Sca. 
A cold Suit, I have on 't,  Y. Lio. 
To prevent Surfeit,  
They Diet, sha' I be to one Dish confined,  
And that too Rifled, with as unclean hands,  
As ere were laid on thee.  Sca. 
What he scants me in Victuals, would he but allow once in Drink.  Y. Lio. 
That shall be the refuse of the Flagons, jaoks,  
And Snuffs, such as the nastiest Breathes shall leave;  
Of Wine, and Strong-water, never hope,  
Henceforth to Smell.  Sca. 
Oh me, I Faint already.  Y. Lio. 
If I sink in my State, of all the rest,  
Be thou excused, what thou proposed to her,  
Beldame, is now against thyself decreed,  
Drink from dry springs, from empty, Knapsacks feed.  Sca. 
No burnt Wine, nor Hot-waters.  She Swounds. Y. Lio. 
Take her hence.  Bla. 
Indeed you are too cruel.  Y. Lio. 
Yes to her,  
Only of purpose, to be kind to thee;  
Are any of my Guests come?  Rio. 
Fear not Sir,  
You will have a fill Table.  Y. Lio. 
What, and Music?  Rio. 
Best Consort in the City, for fix parts.  Y. Lio. 
we shall have Songs then?  Rio. 
byth' ear.  Whispers. Y. Lio. 
And Wenches?  Rio. 
Yes byth' eyc.  Bla. 
Ha, what was that you said?  Rio. 
We shall have such to bear you company,  
As will no doubt content you.  Y. Lio. 
Enter then:  
In Youth there is a Fate, that sways us still.  
To know what's Good, and yet pursue what's Ill..  Exeunt omnes.   

Actus Secundus.  

Scena Prima.  Enter old Master Wincott, and his Wife. Winc. 
And what's this Dalavill?  Wife. 
My apprehension,  
Can give him no more true expression,  
Then that he first appears, a Gentleman,  
And well conditioned.  Wino. 
That for outward show;  
But what in him have you observed else,  
To make him better known?  Wife. 
I have nor Eyes,  
To search into the inward thoughts of Men,  
Nor ever was studied in that Art,  
To judge of Meus affection by the face;  
But that which makes me best opinioned of him,  
Is, That he's Companion, and the Friend  
Beloved of him, whom you so much commend,  
The Noble Master Geraldine,  Winc. 
Thou hast spoke,  
That which not only crown his true desert,  
But now instates him, in my better thoughts,  
Making his Worth, unquestioned.  Wife. 
He pretends  
Love to my sister Pru. I have observed him,  
Single her out, to private conference.  Winc. 
But I could rather, for her own sake, wish  
Young Geraldine would fix his thoughts that way,  
And she towards him; In such Affinity,  
Trust me, I would not use a sparing hand.  Wife. 
But Love in these kinds, should not be compelled,  
Forced, nor Persuaded; When it freely Springs,  
And of itself, takes voluntary Root,  
It Grows, it Spreads, it Ripens, and brings forth,  
Such an Usurious Crop of timely Fruit,  
As crown a plenteous autumn.  Enter Clown. Winc. 
Such a Harvest,  
I should not be th' ungladdest man to see,  
Of all thy sister's friends: Now, whence come you?  Clo. 
Who, I Sir, From a Lodging of largesse, a House of Hospitality, and a Palace of Plenty; Where there's Feeding like Horses, and Drinking like Fishes; Where for Pints, w'are served in Pottles; and in stead of Pottle-pots, in Pails; in stead of Siluer-tanckards, we drink out of water-tankards; claret runs as freely, as the Cocks; and canary, like the Conduits of a Coronation day; Where there's nothing but Feeding and Frolicking; Carving in Kissing; Drinking, and Dancing; Music and Madding; fiddling and Feasting.  Winc. 
And where, I pray thee, are all these Revels kept?  Clo. 
They may be rather called reeks than Revels; As I came along by the door, I was called up amongst them; he-gallants, and she-gallants, I no sooner looked out; but saw them out with their Knives, Slashing of Shoulders, Mangling of Legs, and Launching of Loins, till there was scarce a whole Limb lest amongst them.  Winc. 
A fearful Massacre.  Clo. 
One was Hacking to cut off a Neck, this was Mangling a Breast, his Knife slip from the Shoulder, and only cut of a Wing, one was picking the Brains out of a Head, another was Knuckle deep in a Belly, one was Groping for a Liver, another Searching for the Kidneys; I saw one pluck the Sole from the Body (Goose that she was to suffer't) another pricked into the Breast with his one Bill, Woodcock to endure it.  Wife. 
How fell they out at first?  Clo. 
I know not that, but it seems, one had a Stomach, and another had a Stomach; But there was such biting and tearing with their teeths, that I am sure, I saw some of their poor Carcases pay for't.  Winc. 
Did they not send for Surgeons?  Clo. 
Alas no, Surgeons help was too late; There was no stitching up of those Wounds, where Limb was plucked from Limb; Nor any Salve for those Scars, which all the Plaster of Paris cannot Cure.  Winc. 
Where grew the quarrel first?  Clo. 
It seems it was first Broached in the Kitchen; Certain creatures being brought in thither, by some of the House; The Cook being a choleric fellow, did so touse them and Toss them, so Pluck them and Pull them, till he left them as naked as my Nail, Pinioned some of them like Felons; Cut the Spurs from others of their Heels; Then down went his Spits, Some of them he ran in at the Throat, and out at the Backside; About went his Basting-Ladle, where he did so besauce them, that many a shrewd turn they had amongst them.  Wife. 
But in all this, How did the Women scape?  Clo. 
They fared best, and did the least hurt that I saw; But for quietness' sake, were forced to swallow what is not yet digested, yet every one had their share, and she that had least, I am sure by this time, hath her belly full.  Winc. 
And where was all this havoc kept?  Clo. 
Marry Sir, at your next neighbours, Young Master Lionell, Where there is nothing but Drinking out of Dry-Fats, and Healthing in Halfe-Tubs, his Guests are fed by the Belly, and Beggars served at his Gate in Baskets; he's the Adamant of this Age, the Daffodil of these days, the Prince of Prodigality, and the very Caesar of all young Citizens.  Winc. 
Belike then, 'twas a Massacre of meat, not as I apprehended?  Clo. 
Your gravity hath guessed aright; The chiefest that fell in this Battle, were wild fowl and tame fowl; pheasants were wounded in stead of Alfaresse, and Capons for Captains, Anchoves stood for ancients, and Caviar for Corporals, Dishes were assaulted in stead of Ditches, and rabbits were cut to pieces upon the rebels, some lost their Legs, whilst other of their wings were forced to fly; The Pioneer undermined nothing but Piecrust; And—  Winc. 
Enough, enough, your wit hath played too long upon our patience;  
Wife, it grieves me much both for the young and old man, the one,  
Graces his head with care, endures the parching heat and biting cold,  
The terrors of the Lands, and fears at Sea in travel, only to gain  
Some competent estate to leave his son;  
Whiles all that Merchandise, through Gulfs, cross-tides,  
Pirates and Storms, he brings so far; Th' other  
Here Shipwracks in the Harbour.  Wife. 
'tis the care of Fathers; and the weakness  
Incident to youth, that wants experience.  Enter Y. Geraldine, Dallavill, Prudentilla, laughing. Clo. 
I was at the beginning of the Battle,  
But here comes some, that it seems  
Were at the rifling of the dead Carcases;  
For by their mirth, they have had part of the Spoil.  Winc. 
You are pleasant, Gentlemen, what I entreat  
Might be the Subject of your pleasant sport,  
It promiseth some pleasure?  Prud. 
If their recreation  
be, as I make no question, on truth grounded,  
'twill beget sudden laughter.  Wife. 
What's the Project?  Dal. 
Who shall relate it.  Winc. 
Master Geraldine, if there be any thing can please my Ear,  
With pleasant sounds, your Tongue must be the Instrument,  
On which the String must strike.  Dal. 
Be't his then.  Prud. 
Nay hear it, 'tis a good one.  Wife 
we entreat you, Possess us o'th' Novel,  Winc. 
Speak, good Sir.  Y. Ger. 
I shall then, with a kind of Barbarism,  
Shadow a jest, that asks a smoother Tongue,  
For in my poor discourse, I do protest,  
'twill but lose his luster.  Wife 
You are Modest.  Winc 
However speak, I pray; For my sake do't?  Clo. 
This is like a hasty Pudding, longer in eating then it was in making.  Y. Ger. 
Then thus it was, this Gentleman and I,  
passed but just now, by your next neighbour's house,  
Where as they say, dwells one Young Lionell.  Clo. 
Where I was tonight at Supper.  Winc. 
An unthrift Youth, his Father now at Sea.  Y. Ger. 
Why that's they very Subject, upon which  
It seems, this jest is grounded, there this Night,  
Was a great feast.  Clo. 
Why so I told you, Sir.  Winc. 
be thou still dumb, 'tis he that I would hear.  Y. Ger. 
In the height of their Carousing, all their brains,  
Warmed with the heat of Wine; Discourse was offered,  
Of Ships, and Storms at Sea; when suddenly,  
Out of his giddy wildness, one conceives  
The Room wherein they quaffed, to be a Pinnace,  
moving and Floating; and the confused Noise,  
To be the murmuring Winds, Gusts, Mariners;  
That their unsteadfast Footing, did proceed  
From rocking of the Vessel: This conceived,  
Each one begins to apprehend the danger,  
And to look out for safety, fly saith one  
Up to the Manne-top, and discoverer; He  
Climbs by the bed post, to the Taster, there  
Reports a Turbulent Sea and Tempest towards;  
And will them if they'll save their Ship and lines,  
To cast their Lading overboard; At this  
All fall to Work, and Hoist into the Street,  
As to the Sea, What next come to their hand,  
Stools, Tables, trestles, Trenchers, bedsteads, Cups,  
Pots, Plate, and Glasses; Here a fellow Whistles,  
They take him for the Boatswain, one lies struggling  
Upon the floor, as if he swum for life,  
A third, takes the bass-viol for the Cockboat,  
Sits in the belly on't, labours and Rows;  
His Oar, the Stick with which the Fiddler played;  
A fourth, bestrides his Fellows, thinking to scape  
As did Arion, on the dolphin's back,  
Still fumbling on a gittern.  Clo. 
Excellent Sport.  Winc. 
But what was the conclusion?  Y. Ger. 
The rude multitude,  
Watching without, and gaping for the spoil  
Cast from the windows, went byth' ears about it;  
The Constable is called to Atone the broil,  
Which done, and hearing such a noise within,  
Of eminent Shipwreck; enters the house, and finds them  
In this confusion, They Adore his staff,  
And think it Neptune's Trident, and that he  
Comes with his Tritons, (so they called his watch)  
To calm the Tempest, and appease the Waves;  
And at this point, we left them.  Clo. 
Come what will, I'll steal out of Doors,  
And see the end of it, that's certain.  Exit. Winc. 
Thanks Master Geraldine, for this discourse,  
Intruth it hath much pleased me, but the night  
Begins to grow fast on us, for your parts,  
You are all young, and you may sit up late,  
My eyes begin to summon me to sleep,  
And nothing's more offensive unto Age,  
Then to watch long and late.  Y. Ger. 
Now good Rest with you.  Dal. 
What says fair Prudentilla? Maids and Widows,  
And we young Bachelors, such as indeed  
Are forced to lie in Solitary beds,  
And sleep without disturbance; we methinks,  
Should desire later hours; when Married Wines,  
That in their amorous arms, hug their delights;  
To often wakings subject; their more haste,  
May better be excused.  Prud. 
How can you,  
That are as you confess, a single man,  
Enter so far into these Mystical secrets  
Of Marriage, which as yet you never proved.  Dal. 
There's Lady, an instinct innate in man,  
Which prompts us to the apprehensions  
Of th' uses we were borne to; Such we are  
Aptest to learn; Ambitious most to know,  
Of which our chief is Marriage.  Prud. 
What you Men  
Most meditate, we Women seldom dream of.  Dal. 
When dream Maids most?  Prud. 
When think you?  Dal. 
When you lie upon your Backs, come come, your Ear.  Exit Dal. and Prud. Y. Ger. 
we now are left alone.  Wife. 
Why say we be who should be jealous of us?  
This is not first of many hundred Nights,  
That we two have been private, from the first  
Of our acquaintance, when our Tongues but clipped  
Our mother's-tongue, and could not speak it plain,  
we knew each other; As in slatnre, so  
Increased our sweet Society; Since your travel,  
And my late Marriage, Through my husband's love,  
Midnight hath been as Midday, and my Bedchamber,  
As free to you, as your own Father's house,  
And you as welcome too 't.  Y. Ger. 
I must confess,  
It is in you, your Noble Courtesy,  
In him, a more than common confidence,  
And in this Age, can scarce find precedent.  Wife. 
Most true, it is withal an Argument,  
That both our virtues are so deep impressed  
In his good thoughts, he knows we cannot err.  Y. Ger. 
A villain were he, to deceive such trust,  
Or (were there one) a much worse character.  Wife. 
And she no less, whom either Beauty, Youth,  
Time, Place, or opportunity could tempt,  
To injure such a Husband.  Y. Ger. 
You deserve, even for his sake, to be for ever young;  
And he for yours, to have his Youth renewed;  
So mutual is your true conjugal Love; Yet had the Fates so pleased  Wife. 
I know your meaning,  
It was once voiced, that we two should have Matched,  
The World so thought, and many Tongues so spoke,  
But Heaven hath now disposed us otherways;  
And being as it is, (a thing in me,  
Which I protest, was never wished, nor sought)  
Now done, I not repent it.  Y. Ger. 
In those times,  
Of all the Treasures of my Hopes and Love,  
You were th' Exchequer, they were Stored in you;  
And had not my unfortunate Travel crossed them,  
They had been here reserved still.  Wife. 
troth they had,  
I should have been your trusty Treasurer.  Y. Ger. 
However let us Love still, I entreat:  
That, Neighbourhood and breeding will allow;  
So much the Laws Divine and Human both,  
Twixt Brother and a Sister will approve;  
Heaven then forbid, that they should limit us  
Wish well to one another.  Wife. 
If they should not,  
we might proclaim, they were not Charitable,  
Which were a deadly fin but to conceive.  Y. Ger. 
Will you resolve me one thing?  Wife. 
As to one, that in my Bosom hath a second place, next my dear Husband.  Y. Ger. 
That's the thing I crave,  
And only that, to have a place next him.  Wife. 
Presume on that already, but perhaps,  
You mean to stretch it further.  Y. Ger. 
Only thus far,  
Your husband's old, to whom my Soul doth wish,  
A nester's age, So much he merits from me;  
Yet if (as proof and Nature daily teach)  
Men cannot always live, especially  
Such as are old and Crazed; He be called hence,  
Fairly, in full maturity of time,  
And we two be reserved to after life,  
Will you confer your Widowhood on me?  Wife. 
You ask the thing, I was about to beg;  
Your tongue hath spoken mine own thoughts.  Y. Ger. 
Vow to that.  Wife. 
As I hope Mercy.  Y. Ger. 
'Tis enough, that word  
Alone, instates me happy; Now so please you,  
we will divide, you to your private Chamber,  
I to find out my friend.  Wife. 
Nay Master Geraldine, one Ceremony rests yet unperformed,  
My Vow is past, your oath must next proceed,  
And as you covet to be sure of me,  
Of you I would be certain.  Y. Ger. 
Make ye doubt?  Wife. 
No doubt; but Love's still jealous, and in that  
To be excused; You then shall swear by Heaven,  
And as in all your future Acts, you hope  
To thrive and prosper; As the Day may yield  
Comfort, or the Night rest, as you would keep  
Entire, the Honour of your Father's house,  
And free your Name from Scandal and Reproach,  
By all the Goodness that you hope to enjoy,  
Or ill to shun—  Y. Ger. 
You charge me deeply Lady.  Wife. 
Till that day come, you shall reserve yourself  
A single man; Converse nor company  
With any Woman, Contract nor Combine,  
With Maid, or Widow; which expected hour,  
As I do wish not haste, so when it happens,  
It shall not come unwelcome; You here all, Vow this.  Y. Ger. 
By all that you have said, I swear, and by this Kiss Confirm.  Wife. 
Y'are now my Brother,  
But then, my second Husband.  Exeunt. Enter Y. Lionell, Rioter, Blanda, Scapha, two Gallants, and two Wenches, as newly waked from sleep. Y. Lio. 
we had a stormy night on't.  Bla. 
The Wine still works,  
And with the little rest they have took tonight,  
They are scarce come to themselves.  Y. Lio. 
Now 'tis a Calm,  
Thanks to those gentle Seagods, that have brought us  
To this safe Harbour; Can you tell their names?  Sca. 
He with the Painted-staff, I heard you call Neptune.  Y. Lio. 
The dreadful god of Seas,  
Upon whose back near stuck March flees.  1. Gall. 
One with the Bill, keeps Neptune's porpoises,  
So Ovid says in's Metamorphosis.  2. Gall. 
A third the learned Poets write on,  
And as they say, His name is Triton.  Y. Lio. 
These are the Marine gods, to whom my father  
In his long voyage prays too; Cannot they  
That brought us to our Haven, bury him  
In their Abyss? For if he safe arrive,  
I with these Sailors, sirens, and what not,  
Am sure here to be shipwrecked.  1. Wen. 
Stand up stiff.  Rio. 
But that the ship so totters: I shall fall.  1. Wen. 
If thou fall, I'll fall with thee.  Rio. 
Now I sink,  
And as I dive and drown, Thus by degrees,  
I'll pluck thee to the bottom.  They fall. Y. Lio. 
A main for England, See, see,  Enter Reignald. 
The Spaniard now strikes Sail.  Reig. 
So must you all.  1. Gall. 
Whence is your ship, from the Bermoothes?  Reig. 
Worse, I think from Hell:  
We are all Lost, Split, Shipwrecked, and undone,  
This place is a mere quicksands.  2. Gall. 
So we feared.  Reig. 
where's my young Master?  Y. Lio. 
Here man, speak, the News?  Reig. 
The News is, I, and you—  Y. Lio. 
What?  Reig. 
she, and all these—  Bla. 
I?  Reig. 
We, and all ours, are in one turbulent Sea  
Of Fear, Despair, Disaster and mischance swallowed:  
Your father, Sir—  Y. Lio. 
Why, what of him?  Reig. 
He is, Oh I want breath.  Y. Lio. 
Where?  Reig. 
Landed, and at hand.  Y. Lio. 
Upon what coast? Who saw him?  Reig. 
ay, these eyes.  Y. Lio. 
Oh Heaven, what shall I do then?  Reig. 
Ask ye me what shall become of you, that have not yet  
Had time of study to dispose myself;  
I say again, I was upon the Key,  
I saw him land, and this way bend his course;  
What drunkard's this, that can out sleep a storm  
Which threatens all our ruins? Wake him.  Ela. 
Ho, Rioter, awake.  Rio. 
Yes, I am wake;  
How dry hath this Salt-water made me; Boy,  
Give me th' other Glass.  Y. Lio. 
Arise, I say,  
My Fathers come from Sea.  Rio. 
If he be come, Bid him be gone again.  Reig. 
Can you trifle at such a time, when your Inventions.  
Brains, Wits, Plots, Devices, Stratagems, and all  
Should be at one in action? each of you  
That love your safeties, lend your helping hands,  
Women and all, to take this drunkard hence,  
And to bestow him else where.  Bla. 
Lift for heaven's sake.  They carry him in. Reig. 
But what am I the nearer, were all these  
Conveyed to sundry places and unseen;  
The stain of our disorders still remain,  
Of which, the house will witness, and the old man  
Must find when he enters; And for these  Enter again. 
I am here left to answer: What is he gone?  Y. Lio. 
But whither? But into th' self same house  
That harbours him; my Fathers, where we all  
Attend from him surpriseall.  Reig. 
I will make  
That Prison of your fears, your Sanctuary;  
Go get you in together.  Y. Lio. 
To this house?  Reig. 
Your Fathers, with your Sweetheart, these and all;  
Nay, no more words but do't,  Bla. 
That were to betray us to his fury.  Reig. 
I have't here,  
To Bail you hence at pleasure; and in th' interim,  
I'll make this supposed Goal, to you, as safe  
From th' injured old man's just incensed spleen,  
As were you now together i'th' Low-Countreyes,  
Virginia, or i'th' Indies.  Bla. 
Present fear,  
Bids us to yield unto the faint belief  
Of the least hoped safety.  Reig. 
Will you in?  Omn. 
By thee we will be counselled.  Reig. 
Shut them fast.  Y. Lio. 
And thou and I to leave them?  Reig. 
No such thing, for you shall bear your Sweetheart company, And help to cheer the rest.  Y. Lio. 
And so thou  
Meanest to escape alone?  Reig. 
Rather without,  
I'll stand a Champion for you all within;  
Will you be swayed? One thing in any case  
I must advise; The gates bolted and locked,  
See that 'mongst you no living voice be heard;  
No not so much as a Dog to howl,  
Or Cat to mewe, all silence, that I charge;  
As if this were a mere forsaken house,  
And none did there inhabit.  Y. Lio. 
Nothing else?  Reig. 
And though the old man thunder at the gates  
As if he meant to ruin what he had reared,  
None on their lives to answer.  Y. Lio. 
'Tis my charge;  
Remains there nothing else?  Reig. 
Only the Key; for I must play the gaoler for your durance, To be the mercury in your release.  Y. Lio. 
Me and my hope, I in this Key deliver  
To thy safe trust.  Reig. 
When you are fast you are safe,  
And with this turn 'tis done: What fools are these,  
To trust their ruined fortunes to his hands  
That hath betrayed his own; And make themselves  
Prisoner to one deserves to lie for all,  
As being cause of all; And yet something prompts me,  
I'll stand it at all dangers; And to recompense  
The many wrongs unto the young man done:  
Now, if I can doubly delude the old,  
My brain, about it then; All's hushed within,  
The noise that shall be, I must make without;  
And he that part for gain, and part for wit,  
So far hath travelled, strive to fool at home:  
Which to effect, Art must with Knavery join,  
And smooth Dissembling meet with Impudence;  
He do my best, and howsoe'er it prove,  
My praise or shame, 'tis but a servant's love.  Enter old Lionell like a civil Merchant, with Watermen, and two servants with Burdens and Caskets. Old Lio. 
Discharge these honest Sailors that have brought  
Our Chests ashore, and pray them have a care,  
Those merchandise be safe we left aboard:  
As Heaven hath blessed us with a fortunate Voyage,  
In which we bring home riches with our healths,  
So let not us prove niggards in our store;  
See them paid well, and to their full content.  1. Ser. 
I shall Sir.  Old Lio. 
Then return: These special things,  
And of most value, we'll not trust aboard;  
methinks they are not safe till they see home,  
And there repose, where we will rest ourselves,  
And bid farewell to Travel; for I vow,  
After this hour, no more to trust the Seas,  
Nor throw me to such danger.  Reig. 
I could wish  
You had took your leave o'th' Land too.  Old Lio. 
And now it much rejoiceth me, to think  
What a most sudden welcome I shall bring,  
both to my Friends and private Family.  Reig. 
Oh, but how much more welcome had he been,  
That had brought certain tidings of thy death.  Old Lio. 
But soft, what's this? my own gates shut upon me,  
And bar their Master entrance? whose's within there?  
How, no man speak, are all asleep or dead,  Knocks aloud. 
That no soul stirs to open?  Reig. 
What mad man's that, who weary of his life,  
Dares once lay hand on these accursed gates?  Old Lio. 
whose's that? my servant Reignald.  Reig. 
My old Master,  
Most glad I am to see you; Are you well Sir?  Old Lio. 
Thou seest I am.  Reig. 
But are you sure you are?  
Feel you no change about you? Pray you stand off.  Old Lio. 
What strange and unexpected greetings this,  
That thus a man may knock at his own gates,  
Beat with his hands and feet, and call thus loud,  
And no man give him entrance?  Reig. 
Said you Sir;  
Did your hand touch that hammer?  Old Lio. 
Why, whose else?  Reig. 
But are you sure you touched it?  Old Lio. 
How else, I prithee, could I have made this noise?  Reig. 
You touched it then?  Old Lio. 
I tell thee yet I did.  Reig. 
Oh for the love I bear you,  
Oh me most miserable, you, for you own sake,  
Of all alive most wretched; Did you touch it?  Old Lio. 
Why, say I did?  Reig. 
You have then a sin committed,  
No sacrifice can expiate to the Dead;  
But yet I hope you did not.  Old Lio. 
'Tis past hope,  
The deed is done, and I repent it not.  Reig. 
You and all yours will do't. In this one rashness,  
You have undone us all; Pray be not desperate,  
But first thank Heaven that you have escaped thus well;  
Come from the gate, yet further, further yet,  
And tempt your fate no more; Command your servants  
Give off and come no nearer, they are ignorant,  
And do not know the danger, therefore pity  
That they should perish in 't; 'Tis full seven months,  
Since any of your house durst once set foot  
Over that threshold.  Old Lio. 
Prithee speak the cause?  Reig. 
First look about, beware that no man hear,  
Command these to remove.  Old Lio. 
Be gone. Exit Servants .Now speak.  Reig. 
Oh Sir, This house is grown Prodigious,  
Fatal, Disastrous unto you and yours.  Old. Lio. 
What Fatal? what Disastrous?  Reig. 
Some Host that hath been owner of this house,  
In it his Guest hath slain; And we suspect  
'Twas he of whom you bought it.  Old Lio. 
How came this  
Discovered to you first?  Reig. 
I'll tell you Sir,  
But further from the gate: Your son one night  
Supped late abroad, I within; Oh that night,  
I never shall forget; Being safe got home,  
I saw him in his chamber laid to rest;  
And after went to mine, and being drowsy,  
Forgot by chance, to put the Candle out;  
Being dead asleep; Your son affrighted, calls  
So loud, that I soon wakened; Brought in light,  
And found him almost drowned in fearful sweat;  
Amazed to see't, I did demand the cause:  
Who told me, that this murdered Ghost appeared,  
His body gashed, and all o'er-stuck with wounds;  
And spoke to him as follows.  Old Lio. 
Oh proceed, 'tis that I long to hear.  Reig. 
I am, quoth he,  
A Transmarine by birth, who came well stored  
With Gold and jewels, to this fatal house;  
Where seeking safety, I encountered death:  
The covetous Merchant, Landlord of this rent,  
To whom I gave my life and wealth in charge;  
Freely to enjoy the one, robbed me of both:  
Here was my body buried, here my Ghost  
Must ever walk, till that have Christian right;  
Till when, my habitation must be here:  
Then fly young man, Remove thy family,  
And seek some safer dwelling: For my death,  
This mansion is accursed; 'Tis my possession,  
Bought at the dear rate of my life and blood,  
None enter here, that aims at his own good.  
And with this charge he vanished.  Old Lio. 
Oh my fear,  
Whither wilt thou transport me?  Reig. 
I Entreat keep further from the gate, and fly.  Old Lio. 
Fly whither? Why dost not thou fly too?  Reig. 
What need I fear, the Ghost and I am friends.  Old Lio. 
But Reignald.  Reig. 
Tush, I nothing have deserved,  
Nor aught transgressed: I came not near the gate.  Old Lio. 
To whom was that thou spak'st?  Reig. 
Was't you Sir named me?  
Now as I live, I thought the dead man called,  
To inquire for him that thundered at the gate  
Which he so dearly paid for: Are you mad,  
To stand a foreseen danger?  Old Lio. 
What shall I do?  Reig. 
Cover you head and fly; Lest looking back,  
You spy your own confusion.  Old Lio. 
Why dost not thou fly too?  Reig. 
I tell you Sir,  
The Ghost and I am friends.  Old Lio. 
Why didst thou quake then?  Reig. 
In fear lest some mischance may fall on you,  
That have the dead offended, For my part,  
The Ghost and I am friends: Why fly you not,  
Since here you are not safe?  Old Lio. 
Some blessed powers guard me.  Reig. 
Nay Sir, I'll not forsake you: I have got the start;  
But eat the goal, 'twill ask both Brain and Art.  Exeunt.   

Actus Tertius.  

Seena Prima.  Enter old Master Geraldine, Y. Geraldine, Master Wincott, and Wife, Dalavill, Prudentilla. Winc. 
We are bound to you, kind Master Geraldine,  
For this great entertainment; troth your cost  
Hath much exceeded common neighbourhood:  
You have feasted us like Princes.  Old Ger. 
This, and more  
Many degrees, can never countervail  
The oft and frequent welcomes given my son:  
You have took him from me quite, and have I think,  
Adopted him into your family,  
He stays with me so seldom.  Win. 
And in this,  
By trusting him to me, of whom yourself  
May have both use and pleasure, y'are as kind  
As moneyed men, that might make benefit  
Of what they are possessed, yet to their friends  
In need, will lend it gratis.  Wife. 
And like such,  
As are indebted more than they can pay;  
we more and more confess ourselves engaged  
To you, for your forbearance.  Prud. 
Yet you see,  
Like Debtors, such as would not break their day;  
The Treasure late received, we tender back,  
The which, the longer you can spare, you still  
The more shall bind us to you.  Old Ger. 
Most kind Ladies,  
Worthy you are to borrow, that return  
The Principal, with such large use of thanks.  Dal. 
What strange felicity these Rich men take,  
To talk of borrowing, lending, and of use;  
The vsurers language right.  Winc. 
Y'ave Master Geraldine,  
Fair walks and gardens, I have praised them,  
Both to my Wife and Sister.  Old Ger. 
You would see them,  
There's no pleasure that the House can yield,  
That can be debarred from you; prithee Son,  
Be thou the Usher to those Mounts and Prospects  
May one day call thee Master.  Y. Ger. 
Sir I shall; Please you to walk.  Prud. 
What Master Dalavill,  
Will you not bear us company.  Dal. 
'Tis not fit  
That we should leave our Noble host alone,  
Be you my Friends charge, and this old man mine.  Prud. 
Well, be't then at your pleasure.  Exeunt. Manet Dalavill and Old Geraldine. Dal. 
You to your Prospects, but there's project here  
That's of another Nature; Worthy Sir,  
I cannot but approve your happiness,  
To be the Father of so brave a Son,  
So every way accomplished and made up,  
In which my voice is least; For I alas,  
Bear but a mean part in the common quire,  
When with much louder accents of his praise,  
So all the world reports him.  Old Ger. 
Thank my Stars,  
They have lent me one, who as he always was,  
And is my present joy; If their aspect  
Be no ways to our goods Malevolent,  
May be my Future comfort.  Dal. 
Yet must I hold him happy above others,  
As one that solely to himself enjoys  
What many others aim at; But in vain.  Old Ger. 
How mean you that?  Dal. 
So Beautiful a Mistress.  Old Ger. 
A Mistress, said you?  Dal. 
Yes Sir, or a Friend,  
Whether you please to style her.  Old Ger. 
Mistress? Friend?  
Pray be more open languaged.  Dal. 
And indeed,  
Who can blame him to absent himself from home,  
And make his Father's house but as a grange,  
For a Beauty so Attractive? Or blame her,  
hugging so weak an old Man in her arms,  
To make a new choice, of an equal youth,  
Being in him so Perfect? yet intruth,  
I think they both are honest.  Old Ger. 
You have Sir,  
Possessed me with such strange fancies.  Dal. 
For my part,  
How can I love the person of your Son,  
And not his reputation? His repair  
So often to the House, is voiced by all,  
And frequent in the mouths of the whole Country,  
Some equally addicted, praise his happiness;  
But others, more Censorious and Austere,  
Blame and reprove a course so dissolute;  
Each one in general, pity the good man,  
As one unfriendly dealt with, yet in my conscience,  
I think them truly Honest.  Old Ger. 
'Tis suspicious.  Dal. 
True Sir, at best; But what when scandalous tongues  
Will make the worst? and what good in itself,  
Sully and stain by fabulous misreport;  
For let men live as chary as they can,  
Their lives are often questioned, Then no wonder,  
If such as give occasion of suspicion,  
Be subject to this scandal: What I speak,  
Is as a Noble Friend unto your Son;  
And therefore, as I glory in his Fame,  
I suffer in his wrong; for as I live,  
I think, they both are honest.  Old Ger. 
Howsoever, I wish them so.  Dal. 
Some course might be devised,  
To stop this clamour ere it grow too rank;  
Lest that which yet but inconvenience seems,  
May turn to greater mischief; This I speak  
In Zeal to both, in sovereign care of him  
As of a Friend; And tender of her Honour,  
As one to whom I hope to be allied,  
By Marriage with her Sister.  Old Ger. 
I much thank you,  
For you have clearly given me light of that,  
Till now I never dreamed on.  Dal. 
'Tis my Love,  
And therefore I entreat you, make not me  
To be the first reporter.  Old Ger. 
You have done  
The office of a Noble Gentleman,  
And shall not be so injured.  Enter again as from Walking Winc. Wife, Y. Ger. Prud. Winc. 
See Master Geraldine,  
How bold we are, especially these Ladies  
Play little better than the thieves with you,  
For they have robbed your Garden.  Wife. 
You might Sir,  
Better have termed it sauciness, than theft;  
You see we blush not, what we took in private,  
To wear in public view.  Prud. 
Besides, these cannot  
Be missed out of so many; In full fields,  
The gleanings are allowed.  Old Ger. 
These and the rest,  
Are Ladies, at your service.  Winc. 
Now to horse,  
But one thing ere we part, I must entreat;  
In which my Wife will be joint suitor with me,  
My Sister too.  Old Ger. 
In what I pray.  Winc. 
That he  
Which brought us hither, may but bring us home;  
Your much respected Son.  Old Ger. 
How men are borne,  
To woe their own disasters?  Wife 
But to see us  
From whence he brought us Sir, that's all.  Old Ger. 
This second motion makes it Palpable:  
To note a Woman's cunning; Make her husband  
Bawd to her own lascivious appetite,  
And to Solicit his own shame.  Prud. 
Nay Sir,  
When all of us join in so small a suit,  
It were some injury to be denied.  Old Ger. 
And work her Sister too; What will not woman  
To accomplish her own ends: But this disease,  
I'll seek to Physic ere it grow too far:  
I am most sorry to be urged sweet Friends,  
In what at this time I can no ways grant;  
Most, that these Ladies should be aught denied,  
To whom I owe all Service, but occasions  
Of weighty and important consequence,  
Such as concern the best of my Estate,  
Call him aside; excuse us both this once,  
Presume this business is no sooner over,  
But he's at his own freedom.  Winc. 
'Twere no manners  
In us to urge it further, we will leave you,  
With promise Sir, that he shall in my will,  
Not be the last remembered.  Old. Ger. 
we are bound to you;  
See them to Horse, and instantly return,  
we have Employments for you.  Y. Ger. 
Sir I shall,  Dal. 
Remember your last promise,  Old Ger. 
Not to do't, I should forget myself:  
If I find him false  
To such a friend, be sure he forfeits me;  
In which to be more punctually resolved,  
I have a project how to fift his foul,  
How 'tis inclined; whether to yonder place,  Enter Y. Geraldine. 
The clear bright Palace, or black Dungeon: See,  
They are onward on the way, and he returned.  Y. Ger. 
I now attend your pleasure.  Old Ger. 
You are grown perfect man, and now you float  
Like to a well built Vessel; 'tween two Currents,  
Virtue and Vice; Take this, you steer to harbour;  
Take that, to eminent shipwreck.  Y. Ger. 
Pray your meaning.  Old Ger. 
What fathers cares are, you shall never know,  
Till you yourself have children; Now my study,  
Is how to make you such, that you in them  
May have a feeling of my love to you.  Y. Ger. 
Pray Sir expound yourself, for I protest  
Of all the Languages I yet have learned,  
This is to me most foreign.  Old Ger. 
Then I shall;  
I have lived to see you in your prime of youth  
And height of Fortune, so you will but take  
Occasion by the forehead; to be brief,  
And cut off all superfluous circumstance,  
All the ambition that I aim at now,  
Is but to see you married.  Y. Ger. 
Married Sir.  Old. Ger. 
And to that purpose, I have found out one,  
Whose Youth and Beauty may not only please  
A curious eye; But her immediate means,  
Able to strengthen a state competent,  
Or raise a ruined Fortune.  Y. Ger. 
Of all which,  
I have believe me, neither need nor use;  
My competence best pleasing as it is;  
And this my singularity of life,  
Most to my mind contenting.  Odd Ger. 
I suspect, but yet must prove him further;  
Say to my care I add a Father's charge,  
And couple with my counsel my command:  
To that how can you answer?  Y. Ger. 
That I hope:  
My duty and obedience still unblamed,  
Did never merit such austerity;  
And from a father never yet displeased.  Old Ger. 
Nay, than to come more near unto the point,  
Either you must resolve for present marriage,  
Or forfeit all your interest in my love.  Y. Ger. 
Unsay that language, I entreat you Sir,  
And do not so oppress me; Or if needs  
Your heavy imposition stand in force,  
Resolve me by your counsel; With more safety  
May I infringe a sacred vow to heaven,  
Or to oppose me to your strict command?  
Since one of these I must.  Old Ger. 
Now Dalavill,  
I find thy words too true.  Y. Ger. 
For marry, Sir, I neither may, nor can.  Old Ger. 
Yet whore you may;  
And that's no breach of any vow to Heaven:  
Pollute the Nuptial bed with michal sin;  
Asperse the honour of a noble friend;  
Forfeit thy reputation, here below.  
And th' interest that thy Soul might claim above,  
In you blessed City: These you may, and can,  
With untouched conscience: Oh, that I should live  
to see the hopes that I have stored so long;  
Thus in a moment ruined: And the staff,  
On which my old decrepit age should lean;  
Before my face thus broken: On which trusting,  
I thus abortively, before my time,  
Fall headlong to my Grave.  Falls on the earth. Y. Ger. 
It yet stands strong;  
Both to support you unto future life,  
And fairer comfort.  Old Ger. 
Never, never son:  
For till thou canst acquit thyself of scandal,  
And me of my suspicion; Here, even here,  
Where I have measured out my length of earth;  
I shall expire my last.  Y. Ger. 
Both these I can:  
Then rise Sir, I entreat you; And that innocency,  
Which poisoned by the breath of Calumny, cast you thus low,  
Shall, these few stains wiped off, with better thoughts erect you.  Old Ger. 
Well, Say on.  Y. Ger. 
There's but one fire from which this smoke may grow;  
Namely, the unmatched yoke of youth; And  
In which, If ever I occasion was,  
Of the smallest breach; The greatest implacable mischief  
Adultery can threaten, fall on me;  
Of you may I be disavowed a son;  
And unto Heaven a servant: For that Lady,  
As she is Beauty's mirror, so I hold her  
For Chastities examples: From her tongue,  
Never came language, that arrived my ear,  
That even censorious Cato, lived he now,  
Could misinterpret; Never from her lips,  
Came unchaste kiss; Or from her constant eye,  
Look savouring of the least immodesty: Further—  Old Ger. 
Enough; One only thing remains, which on thy part performed, Assures firm credit to these thy protestations.  Y. Ger. 
Name it then.  Old Ger. 
Take hence th' occasion of this common fame;  
Which hath already spread itself so far,  
To her dishonour and thy prejudice, From this day forward,  
To forbear the house: This do upon my blessing.  Y. Ger. 
As I hope it, I will not fail your charge.  Old. Ger. 
I am satisfied.  Exeunt. Enter at one door an Usurer and his Man, at the other, Old Lionell with his servant: In the midst Reignald. Reig. 
To which hand shall I turn me; Here's my Master  
Hath been to inquire of him that sold the house,  
Touching the murder; Here's an usuring-rascal,  
Of whom we have borrowed money to supply  
Our prodigal expenses; Broke our day,  
And owe him still the Principal and Use:  
Were I to meet them single, I have brain  
To oppose both, and to come off unscarred;  
But if they do assault me, and at once.  
Not Hercules himself could stand that odds:  
Therefore I must encounter them by turns;  
And to my Master first: Oh Sir, well met.  Old Lio. 
What Reignald; I but now met with the man,  
Of whom I bought you house.  Reig. 
What, did you Sir?  
But did you speak of aught concerning that  
Which I last told you?  Old Lio. 
Yes, I told him all.  Reig. 
Then am I cast: But I pray tell me Sir,  
Did he confess the murder?  Old Lio. 
No such thing; Most stiffly he denies it.  Reig. 
Impudent wretch; Then serve him with a warrant, let the Officer  
Bring him before a justice, you shall hear  
What I can say against him; 'sfoot deny't:  
But I pray Sir excuse me, yonder's one  
With whom I have some business; Stay you here,  
And but determine what's best course to take,  
And note how I will follow't.  Old Lio. 
Be brief then.  Reg. 
Now, If I can as well put off my use-man,  
This day, I shall be master of the field.  Vsu. 
That should be lionel's man.  Man 
The same, I know him.  Vsu. 
After so many frivolous delays,  
There's now some hope. He that was wont to shun us,  
And to absent himself, accosts us freely;  
And with a pleasant countenance: Well met Reignald,  
What's this money ready?  Reig. 
Never could you  
Have come in better time.  Vsu. 
Where's your master, young Lionell, it something troubles me, That he should break his day.  Reig. 
A word in private,  Vsu. 
Tush, Private me no privates, in a word,  
Speak, are my moneys ready?  Reig. 
Not so loud.  Vsu. 
I will be louder yet; Give me my moneys,  
Come, tender me my moneys.  Reig. 
We know you have a throat, wide as your conscience; You need not use it now— Come, get you home.  Vsu. 
Home?  Reig. 
Yes, home I say, return by three o'clock,  
And I will see all canceled.  Vsu. 
'Tis not past two, and I can stay till three,  
I'll make that now my business, otherways,  
With these loud clamours, I will haunt thee still;  
Give me my Use, give me my Principal.  Reig. 
This burr will still cleave to me; what, no means  
To shake him off; I near was caught till now.  
Come come, y'are troublesome.  Vsu. 
Prevent that trouble,  
And without trifling, pay me down my cash;  
I will be fooled no longer.  Reig. 
So so so.  Vsu. 
I have been still put off, from time to time,  
And day today; these are but cheating tricks,  
And this is the last minute I'll forbear  
Thee, or thy Master: Once again, I say,  
Give me my Use, give me my Principal.  Reig. 
Pox a this use, that hath and one so many:  
And now will confound me.  Old Lio. 
Hast thou heard this?  Ser. 
Yes Sir, and to my grief.  Old Lio. 
Come hither Reignald.  Reig. 
Here Sir; Nay, now I am gone.  Old Lio. 
What use is this?  
What Principal he talks of? in which language  
He names my Son; And thus upbraideth thee,  
What is't you owe this man?  Reig. 
A trifle Sir,  
Pray stop his mouth; And pay't him.  Old Lio. 
I pay, what?  Reig. 
If I say pay't him; Pay't him.  Old Lio. 
What's the Sum?  Reig. 
A toy, the main about five hundred pounds;  
And the use fifty.  Old Lio. 
Call you that a toy?  
To what use was it borrowed? At my departure,  
I left my Son sufficient in his charge,  
With surplus, to defray a large expense,  
Without this need of borrowing.  Reig. 
'Tis confessed,  
Yet stop his clamorous mouth; And only say,  
That you will pay't tomorrow.  Old Lio. 
I pass my word.  Reig. 
Sir, if I bid you do't; Nay, no more words,  
But say you'll pay't tomorrow.  Old Lio. 
jest indeed, but tell me how these moneys were bestowed?  Reig. 
Safe Sir, I warrant you.  Old Lio. 
The Sum still safe,  
Why do you not then tender it yourselves?  Reig. 
Your ear sir; This sum joined to the rest,  
Your Son hath purchased Land and Houses.  Old Lio. 
Land, dost thou say?  Reig. 
A goodly House, and Gardens.  Old Lio. 
Now joy on him,  
That whilst his Father Merchandised abroad,  
Had care to add to his estate at home:  
But Reignald, wherefore Houses?  Reig. 
Now Lord Sir,  
How dull you are; This house possessed with spirits,  
And there no longer stay; Would you have had  
Him, us, and all your other family,  
To live, and lie i'th' streets; It had not Sir,  
Been for your reputation.  Old Lio. 
Blessing on him,  
That he is grown so thrifty.  Vsu. 
'Tis struck three,  
My money's not yet tendered.  Reig. 
Pox upon him,  
See him discharged, I pray Sir.  Old Lio. 
Call upon me  
Tomorrow Friend, as early as thou wilt;  
I'll see thy debt defrayed.  Vsu. 
It is enough, I have a true man's word.  Exit. Usurer and man Old Lio. 
Now tell me Reignald,  
For thou hast made me proud of my son's thrift;  
Where, in what Country, doth this fair House stand.  Reig. 
Never in all my time, so much to seek;  
I know not what to answer.  Old Lio. 
Wherefore studiest thou?  
Use men to purchase Lands at a dear rate,  
And know not where they lie?  Reig. 
'Tis not for that,  
I only had forgot his name that sold them,  
'Twas let me see, see.  Old Lio. 
Call thyself to mind.  Reig. 
Nonplussed or never now; Where art thou brain?  
O Sir, where was my memory; 'Tis this house  
That next adjoins to yours,  Old Lio. 
My Neighbour Ricots.  Reig. 
The same, the same Sir; we had pennyworths in't;  
And I can tell you, have been offered well  
Since, to forsake our bargain.  Old Lio. 
As I live,  
I much commend your choice.  Reig. 
Nay, 'tis well seated,  
Roughcast without, but bravely lined within;  
You have met with few such bargains.  Old Lio. 
Prithee knock,  
And call the Master, or the servant on't;  
To let me take free view on't.  Reig. 
Puzzle again on Puzzle; One word Sir,  
The House is full of Women, no man knows,  
How on the instant, they may be employed;  
The Rooms may lie unhandsome; and Maids stand  
Much on their cleanliness and housewifry;  
To take them unprovided, were disgrace,  
'Twere fit they had some warning; Now, do you  
Fetch but a warrant, from the justice Sir;  
You understand me.  Old Lio. 
Yes, I do.  Reig. 
To attach him of suspected murder; I'll see't screwed;  
Did he deny't? And in the interim, I  
Will give them notice, you are now arrived,  
And long to see your purchase.  Old Lio. 
Counselled well; And meet some half hour hence.  Reig. 
This plunge well past,  
All things fall even, to Crown my Brain at last.  Exeunt. Enter Dalavill and a Gentleman. Gent. 
Where shall we dine today?  Dal 
At th' ordinary.  
I see Sir, you are but a stranger here;  
This Barnet, is a place of great resort;  
And commonly upon the Market days,  
Here all the Country Gentlemen Appoint,  
A friendly meeting; Some about affairs  
Of Consequence and Profit; Bargain, Sale,  
And to confer with Chapmen, some for pleasure,  
To match their Horses; Wager in their Dogs,  
Or try their Hawks; Some to no other end,  
But only meet good Company, discourse,  
Dine, drink, and spend their Money.  Enter Old Geraldine and Young Geraldine. Gent. 
That's the Market, we have to make this day.  Dal. 
'Tis a Commodity, that will be easily vented:  
What my worthy Friend,  
You are happily encountered; Oh, y'are grown strange,  
To one that much respects you; troth the House  
Hath all this time seemed naked without you;  
The good Old Man doth never sit to meat,  
But next his giving Thanks, he speaks of you;  
There's scarce a bit, that he at Table tastes,  
That can digest without a Geraldine,  
You are in his mouth so frequent: He and She  
Both wondering, what distaste from one, or either,  
So suddenly, should alienate a Guest,  
To them, so dearly welcome.  Old Ger. 
Master Dalavill,  
Thus much let me for him apology;  
divers designs have thronged upon us late,  
My weakness was not able to support  
Without his help; He hath been much abroad,  
At London, or else where; Besides 'tis Term;  
And Lawyers must be followed, seldom at home,  
And scarcely then at leisure.  Dal. 
I am satisfied,  
And I would they were so too, but I hope Sir,  
In this restraint, you have not used my name.  Old Ger. 
Not, as I live.  Dal. 
Y'are Noble— Who had thought  
To have met with such good Company; Y'are it seem  
But new alighted; Father and Son, ere part,  
I vow we'll drink a cup of Sack together:  
Physicians say, It doth prepare the appetite  
And stomach against dinner.  Old Ger. 
we old men,  
Are apt to take these courtesies.  Dal. 
What say you Friend?  Y. Ger. 
lie but inquire for one, at the next Inn,  
And instantly return.  Dal. 
'Tis enough.  Exit. Enter Bess meeting Y. Geraldine. Y. Ger. 
Bess: How dost thou Gentle?  Bess. 
Faith we may do how we list for you, you are grown so Great a stranger: We are more beholding  
To Master Dalavill, he's a constant Guest:  
And howsoe'er to some, that shall be nameless,  
His presence may be graceful; Yet to others—  
I could say somewhat.  Y. Ger. 
he's a noble fellow,  
And my choice friend.  Bess. 
Come come, he is, what he is; and that the end will prove.  Y. Ger. 
And how's all at home?  
Nay, we'll not part without a glass of wine,  
And meet so seldom: Boy,  Enter Drawer. 
Drawer Anon, anon Sir.  Y. Ger. 
A Pint of claret, quickly.  Exit Drawer. 
Nay, sit down: The news, the news, I pray thee;  
I am sure, I have been much enquired of  
Thy old Master, and thy young Mistress too.  Bess. 
Ever your name is in my Master's mouth, and sometimes too In hers, when she hath nothing else to think of:  
Well well, I could say somewhat.  Enter Drawer. Drawer 
here's your wine Sir.  Exit. Y. Ger. 
Fill Boy: Here Bess, this glass to both their healths; Why dost weep my wench?  Bess. 
Nay, nothing Sir.  Y. Ger. 
Come, I must know.  Bess. 
Intruth I love you Sir,  
And ever wished you well; You are a Gentleman,  
Whom always I respected; Know the passages  
And private whisperings, of the secret love  
Betwixt you and my Mistress; I dare swear,  
On your part well intended: But—  Y. Ger. 
But what?  Bess. 
You bear the name of Landlord, but another  
Enjoys the rent; You dote upon the shadow,  
But another he bears away the substance.  Y. Ger. 
be more plain.  Bess. 
You hope to enjoy a virtuous widowhood;  
But Dalavill, whom you esteem you friend,  
He keeps the wife in common.  Y. Ger. 
Y'are too blame,  
And Bess, you make me angry; he's my friend,  
And she my second self; In all their meetings,  
I never saw so much as cast of eye  
Once entertained betwixt them.  Bess. 
That's their cunning.  Y. Ger. 
For her; I have been with her at all hours,  
Both late and early; In her bedchamber.  
And often singly ushered her abroad:  
Now, would she have been any man's alive,  
She had been mine; You wrong a worthy Friend,  
And a chaste Mistress, y'are not a good Girl;  
Drink that speak better of her, I could chide you,  
But I'll forbear; What you have rashly spoke,  
Shall ever here be buried.  Bess. 
I am sorry my freeness should offend you,  
But yet know, I am her Chambermaid.  Y. Ger. 
Play now the Market-maid.  
And prithee 'bout thy business.  Bess. 
Well, I shall— that man should be so fooled.  Exit. Y. Ger. 
she a Prostitute?  
Nay, and to him my troth plight, and my Friend;  
As possible it is, that Heaven and Earth  
Should be in love together, meet and kiss,  
And so cut off all distance: What strange frenzy  
Came in this wench's brain, so to surmise?  
Were she so base? his nobleness is such,  
He would not entertain it for my sake:  
Or he so bent? His hot and lust burnt appetite  
Would be soon quenched, at the mere contemplation  
Of her most Pious and Religious life.  
The Girl was much too blame; Perhaps her Mistress  
Hath stirred her anger, by some word or blow,  
Which she would thus revenge; Not apprehending  
At what a high price Honour's to be rated;  
Or else some one that envies her rare virtue,  
Might hire her thus to brand it; Or, who knows  
But the young wench may fix a thought on me;  
And to divert me from her Mistress love,  
May raise this false aspersion? howsoever,  Enter Clo, with a letter. 
My thoughts on these two columns fixed are,  
She's good as fresh, and purely chaste as fair.  Clo. 
Oh Sir, you are the Needle, and if the whole County of Middlesex had been turned to a mere Bottle of Hay, I had been enjoined to have found you out, or never more returned back to my old Master: There's a Letter Sir.  Y. Ger. 
I know the hand that superscribed it well;  
Stay but till I peruse it, and from me  
Thou shalt return an answer.  Clo. 
I shall Sir: This is Market-day, and here acquaintance commonly meet; and whom have I encountered my gossip Pint-pot, and brim full; nay, I mean to drink with you before I part, and how doth all your worshipful kindred? your sister Quart, your pater-Pottle, (who was ever a Gentleman's fellow) and your old grandsire Gallon; they cannot choose but be all in health, since so many healths have been drunk out of them: I could wish them all here, and in no worse state than I see you are in at this present; howsoever gossip, since I have met you hand to hand, I'll make bold to drink to you— Nay, either you must pledge me, or get one to do't for you; Do you open your mouth towards me? well, I know what you would say; Here Roger, to your Master and Mistress, and all our good friends at home; gramercy gossip, if I should not pledge thee, I were worthy to be turned out to Grass, and stand no more at Livery: And now in requital of this courtesy I'll begin one health to you and all your society in the Oeller, to Peter Pipe, Harry Hogshead, Bartholomew Butt, and little master Randall Rundlet, to Timothy Taster, and all your other great and small friends.  Y. Ger. 
He writes me heat,  
That at my discontinuance he's much grieved,  
Desiring me, as I have euer rendered  
Or him or his, to give him satisfaction  
Touching my discontent; and that in person,  
By any private meeting.  Clo. 
I Sir, 'tis very true, The Letter Speaks no more  
Than he wished me to tell you by word of mouth.  Y. Ger. 
Thou art then of his council?  Clo. 
His Privy and please you.  Y. Ger. 
Though ne'er so strict hath been my father's charge,  
A little I'll dispense with't, for his love;  
Commend me to thy Master, tell him from me,  
On Monday night (then will my leisure serve)  
I will by heaven's assistance visit him.  Clo. 
On Monday Sir:  
That's as I remember, just the day before Tuesday.  Y. Ger. 
But 't will be midnight first, at which late hour,  
Please him to let the Garden door stand ope,  
At that I'll enter; But conditionally,  
That neither Wife, Friend, Servant, no third soul  
Save him, and thee to whom he trusts this message,  
Know of my coming in, or passing out:  
When, tell him, I will fully satisfy him  
Concerning my forced absence.  Clo. 
I am something oblivious; Your message would be the truelier delivered if it were set down in black and white.  Y. Ger. 
I'll call for Pen and Ink,  
And instantly dispatch it.  Exeunt.   

Actus Quartus.  

Scena Prima.  Enter Reignald. Reig. 
Now impudence, but steel my face this once,  
Although I ne'er blush after; here's the house,  
Ho, whose's within? What, no man to descend  Enter Mr. Ricot. 
These innocent gates from knocking?  Ric. 
whose's without there?  Reig. 
One Sir that ever wished your worship's health;  
And those few hours I can find time to pray in,  
I still remember it.  Ric. 
Gramercy Reignald,  
I love all those that wish it: You are the men  
Lead merry lives, Feast, Revel, and Carouse;  
You feel no tedious hours; Time plays with you,  
This is your golden age.  Reig. 
It was, but now Sir,  
That Gold is turned to worse than alchemy,  
It will not stand the test; Those days are past,  
And now our nights come on.  Ric. 
Tell me Reignald, is he returned from Sea?  Reig. 
Yes, to our grief already, but we fear  
Hereafter, it may prove to all our costs.  Ric. 
Suspects thy Master any thing?  Reig. 
Not yet Sir;  
Now my request is, that your worship being  
So near a Neighbour, therefore most disturbed,  
Would not be first to peach us.  Ric. 
Take my word;  
With other Neighbours make what peace you can,  
I'll not be your accuser.  Reig. 
Worshipful Sir;  
I shall be still your Beadsman; Now the business  
That I was sent about, the Old Man my Master  
Claiming some interest in acquaintance past,  
Desires (might it be no way trouble some)  
To take free view of all your House within.  Ric. 
View of my House? Why 'tis not set to Sale,  
Nor bill upon the door; Look well upon't:  
View of my House?  Reig. 
Nay, be not angry Sir,  
He no way doth disable your estate;  
As far to buy, as you are loath to sell;  
Some alterations in his own he'd make.  
And hearing yours by workmen much commended,  
He would make that his precedent.  Ric. 
What fancies  
Should at this age possess him; Knowing the cost,  
That he should dream of Building.  Reig. 
'Tis supposed,  
He hath late found a Wife out for his Son;  
Now Sir, to have him near him, and that nearness  
Too, without trouble, though beneath one roof,  
Yet parted in two Families; He would build  
And make what's picked, a perfect quadrangle,  
Proportioned just with yours, were you so pleased,  
To make it his example.  Ric. 
Willingly; I will but order some few things within,  
And then attend his coming.  Exit. Reig. 
Most kind coxcomb,  
Great Alexander, and Agathocles,  
Caesar, and others, have been Famed, they say.  
And magnified for high facinorous deeds;  
Why claim not I, an equal place with them?  
Or rather a precedent: These commanded  
Their Subjects, and their servants; I my Master,  
And every way his equals, where I please,  
Lead by the nose along; They placed their burdens  
On Horses, Mules, and Camels; ay, old Men  
Of strength and wit, load with my knavery,  Enter Old Lionell. 
Till both their backs and brains ache; Yet poor animals,  
They ne'er complain of weight; Oh are you come Sir?  Old Lio. 
I made what haste I could.  Reig. 
And brought the warrant?  Old Lio. 
See here, I have't.  Reig. 
'Tis well done, but speak, runs it  
Both without Bail and mainprize?  Old Lio. 
Nay, it carries both form and power.  Reig. 
Then I shall warrant him;  
I have been yonder Sir,  Old Lio. 
And what says he?  Reig. 
Like one that offers you  
Free ingress, view and regress, at your pleasure;  
As to his worthy Landlord.  Old Lio. 
Was that all?  Reig. 
He spoke to me, that I would speak to you,  
To speak unto your Son; And then again,  
To speak to him, that he would speak to you;  
You would release his Bargain.  Old Lio. 
By no means,  
Men must advise before they part with Land,  
Not after to repent it; 'Tis most just,  
That such as hazard, and disburse their Stocks,  
Should take all gains and profits that accrue,  Enter Mr. Ricot again walking before the gate. 
As well in Sale of Houses, as in Barter,  
And Traffic of all other Merchandise.  Reig. 
See in acknowledgement of a tenant's duty,  
He attends you at the gate; Salute him Sir.  Old Lio. 
My worthy Friend.  Ric. 
Now as I live, all my best thoughts and wishes  
Impart with yours, in your so safe return;  
Your servant tells me, you have great desire  
To take survey of this my house within.  Old Lio. 
Be't Sir, no trouble to you.  Ric. 
None, enter boldly;  
With as much freedom, as it were your own.  Old Lio. 
As it were mine; Why Reignald, is it not?  Reig. 
Lord Sir, that in extremity of grief,  
You'll add unto vexation; See you not  
How sad he's on the sudden,  Old Lio. 
I observe it.  Reig. 
To part with that which he hath kept so long;  
Especially his Inheritance: Now as you love  
Goodness, and Honesty, torment him not  
With the least word of Purchase.  Old Lio. 
Counselled well;  
Thou teachest me Humanity.  Ric. 
Will you enter?  
Or shall I call a servant, to conduct you  
Through every Room and Chamber?  Old Lio. 
By no means;  
I fear we are too much troublesome of ourselves.  Reig. 
See what a goodly Gate?  Old Lio. 
It likes me well.  Reig. 
What brave carved posts; Who knows but here,  
In time Sir, you may keep your shrievalty;  
And I be one o'th' Sergeants.  Old Lio. 
They are well Carved.  Ric. 
And cost me a good price Sir, Take your pleasure,  
I have business in the Town.  Exit. Reig. 
Poor man, I pity him;  
H'ath not the heart to stay and see you come,  
As 'twere, to take Possession; Look that way Sir,  
What goodly fair Bay windows?  Bayes. Old Lio. 
Wondrous stately.  Reig. 
And what a Gallery, How costly Seeled;  
What painting round about?  Old Lio. 
Every fresh object to good, adds betterness.  Reig. 
terraced above, and how below supported; do they please you?  Old Lio. 
All things beyond opinion; Trust me Reignald,  
I'll not forgo the Bargain, for more gain  
Than half the price it cost me.  Reig. 
If you would? I should not suffer you; Was not the  
Money due to the Usurer, took upon good ground,  
That proved well built upon? we were no fools  
That knew not what we did.  Old Lio. 
It shall be satisfied.  Reig. 
Please you to trust me with't, I'll see't discharged.  Old Lio. 
He hath my promise, and I'll do't myself:  
Never could Son have better pleased a Father,  
Then in this Purchase: Hie thee instantly  
Unto my house i'th' Country, give him notice  
Of my arrive, and bid him with all speed  
Post hither.  Reig. 
Ere I see the warrant served?  Old Lio. 
It shall be thy first business; For my Soul  
Is not at peace, till face to face, I approve  
His Husbandry, and much commend his Thrift;  
Nay, without pause, be gone.  Reig. 
But a short journey;  
For he's not far, that I am sent to seek:  
I have got the start, the best part of the Race  
is run already, what remains, is small,  
And tire now, I should but forfeit all.  Old Lio. 
Make haste, I do entreat thee.  Exeunt. Enter the Clown. Clo. 
This is the Garden gate; And here am I set to stand sentinel, and to attend the coming of Young Master Geraldine: Master Dalavill's's gone to his Chamber; My Mistress to hers; 'Tis now about Midnight; A Banquet prepared, bottles of Wine in readiness, all the whole Household at their rest; And no creature by this, honestly stirring, saving I and my Old Master; He in a buy Chamber, prepared of purpose for their private Meeting; And I here to play the Watch Enter Young Geraldine .man, against my will; Chavelah, Stand; Who goes there?  Y. Ger. 
A Friend.  Clo. 
The Word?  Y. Ger. 
Honest Roger.  Clo. 
That's the Word indeed; You have leave to pass freely Without calling my Corporal.  Y. Ger. 
How go the affairs within?  Clo. 
According to promise, the business is composed, and the servants disposed, my young Mistress reposed, my old Master according as you proposed, attends you if you be exposed to give him meeting; Nothing in the way being interposed, to transpose you to the least danger: And this I dare be deposed, if you will not take my word, as I am honest Roger.  Y. Ger. 
Thy word shall be my warrant, but secured  
Most in thy Master's promise, on which building;  
By this known way I enter.  Clo. 
Nay, by your leave, I that was late but a plain sentinel,  
Will now be your Captain conductor: Follow me.  Exeunt. Table and Stools set out; Lights: a Banquet, Wine. Enter Master Wincott. Winc. 
I wonder whence this strangeness should proceed,  
Or wherein I, or any of my house,  
Should be th' occasion of the least distaste;  
Now, as I wish him well, it troubles me;  Enter Clow. and Y. Ger. 
But now the time grows on, from his own mouth  
To be resolved; And I hope satisfied:  
Sir, as I live, of all my friends to me  
Most wishedly, you are welcome: Take that Chair,  
I this: Nay, I intreat no compliment;  
Attend— Fill wine.  Clo. 
Till the mouths of the bottles yawn directly upon the floor, and the bottoms turn their rails up to the ceiling; Whilst there's any blood in their bellies, I'll not leave them.  Winc. 
I first salute you thus.  Y. Ger. 
It could not come  
From one whom I more honour; Sir, I thank you.  Clo. 
Nay, since my Master begun it, I'll see't go round  
To all three.  Winc. 
Now give us leave.  Clo. 
Talk you by yourselves, whilst I find something to say to this: I have a tale no tell him shall make his stony heart relent.  Exit. Y. Ger. 
Now, first Sir your attention I entreat;  
Next, your belief that what I speak is just,  
Maugre all contradiction.  Winc. 
Both are granted.  Y. Ger. 
Then I proceed; With due acknowledgement  
Of all your more than many courtesies:  
Y'ave been my second father, and your wife,  
My noble and chaste Mistress; All your servants  
At my command; And this your bounteous Table,  
As free and common as my Father's house;  
Neither 'gainst any, or the least of these,  
Can I commence just quarrel.  Winc. 
What might then be  
The cause of this constraint, in thus absenting  
yourself from such as love you?  Y. Ger. 
Out of many,  
I will propose some few: The care I have  
Of your (as yet unblemished) renown;  
The untouched honour of your virtuous wife;  
And (which I value least, yet dearly too)  
My own fair reputation.  Winc. 
How can these, in any way be questioned?  Y. Ger. 
Oh dear Sir,  
Bad tongues have been too busy with us all;  
Of which I never yet had time to think,  
But with sad thoughts and griefs unspeakable:  
It hath been whispered by some wicked ones,  
But loudly thundered in my father's ears,  
By some that have maligned our happiness;  
(heaven, if it can brook slander, pardon them)  
That this my customary coming hither,  
Hath been to base and sordid purposes:  
To wrong your bed; Injure her chastity;  
And be mine own undoer: Which, how false?  Winc. 
As Heaven is true, I know't.  Y. Ger. 
Now this Calumny  
Arriving first unto my father's ears,  
His easy nature was induced to think,  
That these things might perhaps be possible:  
I answered him, as I would do to Heaven:  
And cleared myself in his suspicious thoughts,  
As truly, as the high all-knowing judge  
Shall of these stains acquit me; which are merely  
Aspersions and untruths: The good old man  
Possessed with my sincerity, and yet careful  
Of your renown, her honour, and my fame;  
To stop th'-worst that scandal could inflict;  
And to prevent false rumours charges me,  
The cause removed, to take away the effect;  
Which only could be, to forbear your house;  
And this upon his blessing: You hear all.  Winc. 
And I of all acquit you: This your absence,  
With which my love most cauclled; Orators  
In your behalf. Had such things passed betwixt you,  
Not threats nor chidings could have driven you hence:  
It pleads in your behalf, and speaks in hers;  
And arms me with a double confidence,  
Both of your friendship, and her loyalty:  
I am happy in you both, and only doubtful  
Which of you two doth most impart my love:  
You shall not hence tonight.  Y. Ger. 
Pray pardon Sir.  Winc. 
You are in your lodging.  Y. Ger. 
But my father's charge.  Winc. 
My conjuration shall dispense with that;  
You may be up as early as you please;  
But hence tonight you shall not.  Y. Ger. 
You are powerful.  Winc. 
This night, of purpose, I have parted beds,  
Feigning myself not well, to give you meeting;  
Nor can be aught suspected by my Wife,  
I have kept all so private: Now 'tis late,  
I'll steal up to my rest, But howsoever,  
Let's not be strange in our writing, that way daily  
We may confer without the least suspect,  
In spite of all such base calumnious tongues;  
So, Now goodnight sweet friend  Exit. Y. Ger. 
May he that made you  
So just and good, still guard you. Not to bed,  
So I perhaps might oversleep myself,  
And then my tardy waking might betray me  
To the more early household; Thus as I am,  
I'll rest me on this pillow; But in vain,  
I find no sleep can fasten on mine eyes,  
There are in this disturbed brain of mine  
So many mutinous fancies: This, to me,  
Will be a tedious night; How shall I spend it?  
No Book that I can spy? no company?  
A little let me recollect myself;  
Oh, what more wished company can I find,  
Suiting the apt occasion, time and place;  
Then the sweet contemplation of her Beauty;  
And the fruition too, time may produce,  
Of what is yet lent out? 'Tis a sweet Lady,  
And every way accomplished: Hath mere accident  
Brought me thus near, and I not visit her?  
Should it arrive here are, perhaps might breed  
Our lasting separation; For twixt Lovers,  
No quarrel's to unkindness; Sweet opportunity  
Offers prevention, and invites me to't:  
The house is known to me, the stairs and rooms;  
The way unto her chamber frequently  
Trodden by me at midnight, and all hours:  
How joyful to her would a meeting be,  
So strange and unexpected; Shadowed too  
Beneath the veil of night; I am resolved  
To give her visitation, in that place  
Where we have passed deep vows, her bedchamber:  
My fiery love this darkness makes seem bright,  
And and this the path that leads to my delight.  He goes in at one door, and comes out at another. 
And this the gate unto't; I'll listen first,  
Before too rudely I disturb her rest:  
And gentle breathing; Ha? she's sure awake,  
For in the bed two whisper, and their voices  
Appear to me unequal;— One a woman's—  
And hers;— Th' other should be no maids tongue,  
It bears too big a tone; And hark, they laugh;  
(Damnation) But list further; tother sounds—  
Like— 'Tis the same false perjured traitor, Dalavill,  
To friend and goodness: unchaste impious woman,  
False to all faith, and true conjugal love;  
There's met, a Serpent and a crocodile;  
A Sinon and a Circe: Oh, to what  
May I Compare you?— But my Sword,  
I'll act a noble execution,  
On two unmatched for sordid villainy:—  
I left it in my Chamber, And thanks Heaven  
That I did to; It hath prevented me  
From playing a base Hangman: Since securely  
Whilst I, although for many, yet less faults,  
Strive hourly to repent me; I once loved her,  
And was to him entired; Although I pardon,  
Heaven will find time to punish, I'll not stretch  
My just revenge so far, as once by blabbing,  
To make your brazen Impudence to blush;  
Damn on, revenge too great; And to suppress  
Your Souls yet lower, without hope to rise,  
Heap Ossa upon Pelion: You have made me  
To hate my very Country, because here bred:  
near two such monsters; First I'll leave this House,  
And then my Fathers; Next I'll take my leave,  
Both of this Clime and Nation, Travel till  
Age snow upon this Head: My passions now,  
Are unexpressable, I'll end them thus:  
Ill man, bad Woman, your unheard of treachery,  
This unjust censure, on a Just man give,  
To seek out place, where no two such can live.  Exit. Enter Dalavill in a Night-gowne gown: Wift in a night-tire, as come from Bed. Dal. 
A happy Morning now betide you Lady,  
To equal the content of a sweet Night.  Wife. 
It hath been to my wish, and your desire:  
And this your coming by pretended love  
Unto my Sister Pru. cuts of suspicion  
Of any such converse twixt you and me.  Dal. 
It hath been wisely carried.  Wife. 
One thing troubles me.  Dal. 
What's that my Dearest?  Wife. 
Why your Friend Geraldine,  
Should on the sudden thus absent himself?  
Has he had think you no intelligence.  
Of these our private meetings.  Dal. 
No, on my Soul,  
For therein hath my brain exceeded yours;  
I studying to engross you to myself,  
Of his continued absence have been cause;  
Yet he of your affection no way jealous,  
Or of my Friendship— How the plot was cast,  
You at our better leisure shall partake;  
The air grows cold, have care unto your health,  
Suspicious eyes are over us, that yet sleep,  
But with the dawn, will open; Sweet retire you  
To your warm Sheets; I now to fill my own,  
That have this Night been empty.  Wife. 
You advise well;  
Oh might this Kiss dwell ever on thy Lips,  
In my remembrance.  Dal. 
Doubt it not I pray,  
Whilst Day frights Night, and Night pursues the day:  
Good morrow.  Exeunt. Enter Reignald, Y. Lionell, Blanda, Scapha, Rioter. and two Gallants, Reig. with a Key in his hand. Reig. 
Now is the Goal delivery; Through this back gate  
Shift for yourselves, I here unprison all.  Y. Lio. 
But tell me, how shall we dispose ourselves?  
we are as far to seek now, as the first;  
What is it to reprieve us for few hours,  
And now to suffer, better had it been  
At first, to have stood the trial, so by this,  
we might have passed our penance.  Bla. 
Sweet Reignald.  Y. Lio. 
Honest rogue.  Rio. 
If now thou failest us, than we are lost for ever,  Reig. 
This same sweet Reignald, and this honest rogue,  
Hath been the Burgess, under whose protection  
You all this while have lived, free from Arrests,  
But now, the Sessions of my power's broke up,  
And you exposed to Actions, Warrants, Writs;  
For all the hellish rabble are broke loose,  
Of Sergeants, Sheriffs, and bailiffs,  Omn. 
Guard us Heaven,  Reig. 
I tell you as it is; Nay, I myself  
That have been your Protector, now as subject  
To every varlet's Pestle, for you know  
How I am engaged with you— At whose suit sir.  Omn. 
Why didst thou Start.  All Start. Reig. 
I was afraid some Catchpole stood behind me,  
To clap me on the Shoulder.  Rio. 
No such thing; Yet I protest  
Thy fear did fright us all.  Reig. 
I knew your guilty consciences.  Y. Lio. 
No Brain left?  Ela. 
No crotchet for my sake?  Reig. 
One kiss then Sweet,  
Thus shall my crotchets, and your kisses meet.  Y. Lio. 
Nay, tell us what to trust too.  Reig. 
Lodge yourselves  
In the next Tavern, there's the Cash that's left,  
Go, health it freely for my good success;  
Nay, Drown it all, let not a Taster scape  
To be consumed in rotgut; I have begun,  
And I will stand the period.  Y. Lio. 
Bravely spoke.  Reig. 
Or perish in the conflict.  Rio. 
Worthy Reignald.  Reig. 
Well, if he now come off well, Fox you all;  
Go, call for Wine; For singly of myself  
I will oppose all danger; But I charge you,  
When I shall faint or find myself distressed;  
If I like brave Orlando, wind my Horn,  
Make haste unto my rescue.  Y. Lio. 
And die in't.  Reig. 
Well hast thou spoke my noble Charlemagne,  
With these thy Peers about thee.  Y. Lio. 
May good Speed  
Attend thee still.  Reig. 
The end still crown the deed.  Exeunt. Enter Old Lionell, and the first Owner of the House. Own. 
Sir sir, your threats nor warrants, can fright me;  
My honesty and innocency's known  
Always to have been unblemished; Would you could  
As well approve your own Integrity,  
As I shall doubtless acquit myself  
Of this surmised murder.  Old Lio. 
Rather Surrender  
The price I paid, and take into thy hands  
This haunted mansion, or I'll prosecute  
My wrongs, even to the utmost of the Law,  
Which is no less than death.  Own. 
I'll answer all  
Old Lionell, both to thy shame and scorn;  
This for thy Menaces.  Enter the Clown. Clo. 
This is the House, but where's the noise that was wont to be in't? I am sent hither, to deliver a note, to two young Gentlemen that here keep Revelrout; I remember it, since the last Massacre of Meat that was made in't; But it seems, That the great Storm that was raised then, is chaste now; I have other Notes to deliver, one to Master Rycott— and— I shall think on them all in order; My Old Master makes a great Feast, for the parting of young Master Geraldine, who is presently upon his departure for Travel, and the better to grace it, hath invited many of his Neighbours and Friends; Where will be Old Master Geraldine— his Son, and I cannot tell how many; But this is strange, the Gates shut up at this time a day, belike they are all Drunk and laid to sleep, if they be, I'll wake them, with a Murrain.  Knocks. Old Lio. 
What desperate fellow's this, that ignorant  
Of his own danger, thunders at these Gates?  Clo. 
Ho, Reignald, Riotous Reignald, Revelling Reignald.  Old. Lio. 
What madness doth possess thee, honest Friend,  
To touch that Hammers handle?  Clo. 
What madness doth possess thee, honest Friend,  
To ask me such a question?  Old Lio. 
Nay, stir not you?  Own. 
Not I; The game begins.  Old Lio. 
How dost thou, art thou well?  Clo. 
Yes very well, I thank you, how do you Sir?  Old Lio. 
No alteration; What change about thee?  Clo. 
Not so much change about me at this time,  
As to change you a Shilling into two Tasters.  Old Lio. 
Yet I advise thee Fellow, for thy good,  
Stand further from the Gate.  Clo. 
And I advise thee Friend, for thine own good, stand not betwixt me and the Gate, but give me leave to deliver my errand; Hoe, Reignald, you mad Rascal.  Old Lio. 
In vain thou thunderest at these silent Doors,  
Where no man dwells to answer, saving Ghosts,  
Furies, and Sprights.  Clo. 
Ghosts; Indeed there has been much walking, in and about the House after Midnight.  Old Lio. 
Strange noise oft heard.  Clo. 
Yes, terrible noise, that none of the neighbours could take any rest for it, I have heard it myself.  Old Lio. 
You hear this; here's more witness.  Own. 
Very well Sir.  Old Lio. 
Which you shall dearly answer— whooping.  Clo. 
And hollowing.  Old. Lio. 
And shouting.  Clo. 
And crying out, till the whole house rung again.  Old Lio. 
Which thou hast heard?  Clo. 
Oftener than I have toes and singers.  Old Lio. 
Thou wilt be deposed of this?  Clo. 
I'll be sworn to't, and that's as good.  Old Lio. 
Very good still; Yet you are innocent:  
Shall I entreat thee friend, to avouch as much  
Here by, to the next justice.  Clo. 
I'll take my soldier's oath on't.  Old Lio. 
A soldier's oath, What's that?  Clo. 
My corporal oath; And you know Sir, a Corporal is an office belonging to a soldier.  Old Lio. 
Yet you are clear?  
Murder will come to light.  Enter Robin the old servingman. Own. 
So will your gullery too.  Rob. 
They say my old Master's come home; I'll see if he will turn me out of doors, as the young man has done: I have laid rods in piss for somebody, scape Reignald as he can, and with more freedom than I dust late, I boldly now dare knock.  Robin knocks. Old Lio. 
More madmen yet; I think since my last voyage,  
Half of the world's turned frantic: What dost mean,  
Or longest thou to be blasted?  Rob. 
Oh Sir, you are welcome home; 'Twas time to come  
Ere all was gone to havoc.  Old Lio. 
My old servant? before I shall demand of further business. Resolve me why thou thunderest at these doors,  
Where thou know'st none inhabits?  Rob. 
Are they gone Sir?  
'Twas well yet they have left the house behind;  
For all the furniture, to a bare bench,  
I am sure is spent and wasted.  Old Lio. 
Where's my son,  
That Reignald posting for him with such speed,  
Brings him not from the Country?  Rob. 
Country Sir?  
'Tis a thing they know not; Here they Feast,  
Dice, Drink, and Drab; The company they keep,  
Cheaters and Roaring-Ladds, and these attended  
By Bawds and Queans: Your son hath got a Strumpet,  
On whom he spends all that your sparing left,  
And here they keep court; To whose damned abuses,  
Reignald gives all encouragement.  Old Lio. 
But stay stay;  
No living soul hath for these six months' space  
Here entered, but the house stood desolate.  Rob. 
Last week I am sure, so late, and th' other day,  
Such Revels were here kept.  Old Lio. 
And by my son?  Rob. 
Yes, and his servant Reignald.  Old Lio. 
And this house at all not haunted?  Rob. 
Save Sir with such Sprights.  Enter Master Ricott. Own. 
This Murder will come out.  Old Lio. 
But see, in happy time here comes my  
Neighbour of whom he bought this mansion; He I am sure  
More amply can resolve me: I pray Sir,  
What sums of moneys have you late received  
Of my young son?  Ric. 
Of him? None I assure you.  Old Lio. 
What of my servant Reignald?  Ric. 
But device  
What to call less than nothing, and that sum  
I will confess received.  Old Lio. 
Pray Sir, be serious;  
I do confess myself indebted to you,  
A hundred pound.  Ric. 
You may do well to pay't then, for here's witness Sufficient of your words.  Old Lio. 
I speak no more than what I purpose; lust so much I owe you, And ere I sleep will tender.  Ric. 
I shall be as ready to receive it, and as willing,  
As you can be to pay't.  Old Lio. 
But provided,  
You will confess seven hundred pounds received  
Before hand of my moan?  Ric. 
But by your favour;  
Why should I yield seven hundred received  
Of them I never dealt with? Why? For what?  
What reason? What condition? Where or when  
Should such a sum be paid me?  Old Lio. 
Why? For this bargain: And for what? This house,  
Reason? Because you sold it: The conditions? Such  
As were agreed between you: Where and When?  
That only hath escaped me.  Ric. 
Madness all.  Old Lio. 
Was I not brought to take free view thereof,  
As of mine own possession?  Ric. 
I confess;  
Your servant told me you had found out a wife  
Fit for your son, and that you meant to build;  
Desired to take a friendly view of mine,  
To make it your example: But for selling,  
I tell you Sir, my wants be not so great,  
To change my house to Coin.  Old Lio. 
Spare Sir your anger,  
And turn it into pity; Neighbours and friends,  
I am quite lost, was never man so fooled,  
And by a wicked servant; Shame and blushing  
Will not permit to tell the manner how,  
Lest I be made ridiculous to all:  
My fears are to inherit what's yet left;  
He hath made my son away.  Rob. 
That's my fear too.  Old Lio. 
Friends, as you would commiserate a man  
Deprived at once, both of his wealth and son;  
And in his age, by one I ever tendered  
More like a son than servant: By imagining  
My case were yours, have feeling of my griefs  
And help to apprehend him;  
Furnish me with Cords and Fetters,  
I will lay him safe in Prison within Prison.  Ric. 
we'll assist you.  Rob. 
And I.  Clo. 
And all;  
But not to do the least hurt to my old friend Reginald.  Old Lio. 
His Legs will be as nimble as his Brain,  
And 'twill be difficult to seize the slave,  Enter Reignald with a Horn in his pocket: they withdraw behind the Arras. 
Yet your endeavours, pray peace, here hoe comes.  Reig. 
My heart misgives, for 'tis not possible  
But that in all these windings and indents  
I shall be found at last: I'll take that course  
That men both troubled and affrighted do,  
Heap doubt on doubt, and as combustions rise,  
Try if from many I can make my peace,  
And work mine own atonement.  Old Lio. 
Stand you close,  
Be not yet seen, but at your best advantage  
Hand him, and bind him fast: Whilst I dissemble  
As if I yet knew nothing.  Reig. 
I suspect  
And find there's trouble in my Master's looks;  
Therefore I must not trust myself too far  
Within his fingers.  Old Lio. 
Reignald?  Reig. 
Worshipful Sir.  Old Lio. 
What says my son i'th' Country?  Reig. 
That tomorrow,  
Early i'th' morning, he'll attend your pleasure,  
And do as all such duteous children ought;  
Demand your blessing Sir.  Old Lio. 
Well, 'tis well.  Reig. 
I do not like his countenance.  Old Lio. 
But Reignald? I suspect the honesty  
And the good meaning of my neighbour here,  
Old master Ricott; Meeting him but now,  
And having some discourse about the house,  
He makes all strange, and tells me in plain terms,  
He knows of no such matter.  Reig. 
Tell me that Sir?  Old Lio. 
I tell thee as it is:  
Nor that such moneys, took up at use, were ever tendered him  
On any such conditions.  Reig. 
I cannot blame your worship to be pleasant,  
Knowing at what an underrate we bought it, but you ever  
Were a most merry Gentleman.  Y. Lio. 
(Impudent slave)  
But Reignald, he not only doth demi it,  
But offers to depose Himself and Servants,  
No such thing ever was.  Reig. 
Now Heaven, to see to what this world's grown too.  
I will make him—  Old Lio. 
Nay more, this man will not confess the Murder.  Reig. 
Which both shall dearly answer; You have warrant  
For him already; But for the other Sir,  
If he deny it, he had better—  Old Lio. 
Appear Gentlemen,  Softly. 
'Tis a fit time to take him.  Reig. 
I discover the Ambush that's laid for me.  Old Lio. 
Come nearer Reignald.  Reig. 
First sir resolve me one thing, amongst other Merchandise  
Bought in your absence by your Son and me,  
we engrossed a great commodity of combs,  
And how many sorts think you?  Old Lio. 
You might buy  
Some of the bones of Fishes, some of Beasts,  
box-combs, and ivory-combs.  Reig. 
But besides these, we have for Horses Sir,  
mane-combs, and curry-combs; Now Sir for men,  
we have Head-combs, Beard- combs, I and Coxcombs too;  
Take view of them at your pleasure, whilst for my part,  
I thus bestow myself.  They all appear with Cords and Shackels, Whilst he goes up. Clo. 
Well said Reignald, nobly put off Reignald,  
Look to thyself Reignald.  Old Lio. 
Why dost thou climb thus?  Reig. 
Only to practise  
The nimbleness of my Arms and Legs,  
Ere they prove your Cords and Fetters.  Old Lio. 
Why to that place?  Reig. 
Why? Sir 'tis your own House; It hath been my Harbour long, and now it must be my Sanctuary; Dispute now, and I'll answer.  Own. 
villain, what devilish meaning had'st thou in't,  
To challenge me of Murder?  Reig. 
Oh sir, the man you killed is alive at this present to justify it: I am, quoth he, a Transmarine by birth—  Ric. 
Why, challenge me receipt of Moneys, and to give abroad, That I had sold my House?  Reig. 
Why? because sir,  
Could I have purchased Houses at that rate,  
I had meant to have bought all London.  Clo. 
Yes, and Middlesex too, and I would have been thy half Reignald.  Old Lio. 
Yours are great,  
My wrongs insufferable; As first, to fright me  
From mine own dwelling, till they had consumed  
The whole remainder of the little left;  
Besides, out of my late stock got at Sea,  
Discharge the clamorous Usurer; Make me accuse  
This man of Murder; Be at charge of warrants;  
And challenging this my worthy Neighbour of  
Forswearing Sums he never yet received;  
Fool me, to think my Son that had spent all,  
Had by his thrift bought Land; I and him too,  
To open all the secrets of his House  
To me, a Stranger, On thou insolent villain,  
What to all these canst answer?  Reig. 
Guilty, guilty.  Old Lio. 
But to my son's death, what thou slave?  Reig. 
Not Guilty.  Old Lio. 
Produce him then; Ith' mean time, and—  
Honest Friends, get Ladders.  Reig. 
Yes, and come down in your own Ropes.  Own. 
I'll fetch a Piece and shoot him.  Reig. 
So the warrant in my Master's pocket, will serve for my Murder; And ever after shall my Ghost haunt this House.  Clo. 
And I will say like Reignald,  
This Ghost and I am Friends.  Old Lio. 
Bring faggots, I'll set fire upon the House,  
Rather than this endure.  Reig. 
To burn Houses is Felony, and I'll not out  
Till be fired out; But since I am Besieged thus,  
I'll summon supplies unto my Rescue.  He windes a Horn. Enter Young Lionell, Rioter, two Gallants Blanda, &c. Y. Lie. 
Before you chide, first hear me, next your Blessing,  
That on my knees I beg; I have but done,  
Like misspent youth, which after wit dear bought,  
Turns his Eyes inward, sorry and ashamed;  
These things in which I have offended most,  
Had I not proved, I should have thought them still  
Essential things, delights perdurable;  
Which now I find mere Shadows, Toys and Dreams,  
Now hated more than erst I doted on;  
Best Natures, are soonest wrought on; Such was mine;  
As I the offences, So the offenders throw  
Here at your feet, to punish as you please;  
You have but paid so much as I have wasted,  
To purchase to yourself a thrifty Son;  
Which I from henceforth, Vow.  Old Lio. 
See what Fathers are,  
That can three years' offences, foul ones too,  
Thus in a Minute pardon; And thy faults  
Upon myself chastise, in these my Tears;  
Ere this Submission, I had cast thee off;  
Rise in my new Adoption: But for these—  Clo. 
The one you have nothing to do withal, here's his Ticket for his discharge; Another for you Sir, to Summon you to my Master's Feast, For you, and you, where I charge you all to appear, upon his displeasure, and your own apperils.  Y. Lio. 
This is my Friend, the other one I loved,  
Only because they have been dear to him  
That now will strive to be more dear to you;  
Vouchsafe their pardon.  Old Lio. 
All dear, to me indeed, for I have paid for't soundly,  
Yet for the sake, I am atoned with all; Only that wanton.  
Her, and her Company, abandon quite;  
So doing, we are friends.  Y. Lie. 
A just Condition, and willingly subscribed to.  Old Lio. 
But for that Villain; I am now devising  
What shame, what punishment remarkable,  
To inflict on him.  Reig. 
Why Master? Have I laboured;  
Plotted, Contrived, and all this while for you,  
And will you leave me to the Whip and Stocks;  
Not mediate my peace.  Old Lio. 
sirrah, come down.  Reig. 
Not till my Pardon's sealed, I'll rather stand here  
Like a Statue, in the Forefront of your house  
For ever; Like the picture of Dame Fortune  
Before the Fortune Playhouse.  Y. Lio. 
If I have here  
But any Friend amongst you, join with me  
In this petition.  Clo. 
Good Sir, for my sake, I resolved you truly  
Concerning Whooping, the Noise, the Walking; and the Sprights,  
And for a need, can show you a Ticket for him too.  Own. 
I impute my wrongs rather to knavish Cunning,  
Than least pretended Malice.  Ric. 
What he did,  
Was but for his Young Master, I allow it  
Rather as sports of Wit, than injuries;  
No other prey esteem them.  Old Lio. 
even as freely,  
As you forget my quarrels made with you;  
Raised from the Errors first begot by him;  
I here remit all free; I now am Calm,  
But had I seized upon him in my Spleen—  Reig. 
I knew that, therefore this was my Invention,  
For policy's the art still of Prevention.  Clo. 
Come down then Reignald, first on your hands and feet, and then on your knees to your Master; Now gentlemen, what do you say to your inviting to my Master's Feast.  Ric. 
we will attend him.  Old Lio. 
Nor do I love to break good company;  
For Master Wincott is my worthy Friend,  Enter Reginald. 
And old acquaintance; Oh thou crafty wagstring,  
And couldst thou thus delude me? But we are Friends;  
Nor Gentlemen, let not what's here to past,  
In your least thoughts disable my Estate;  
This my last Voyage hath made all things good,  
With surplus too; Be that your comfort Son:  
Well Reignald— But no more.  Reig. 
I was the Fox,  
But I from henceforth, will no more the coxcomb  
, put upon your pate.  Old Lio. 
Let's walk Gentlemen  Exeunt Omnes.   

Actus Quintus.  

Scena Prima.  Enter Old Geraldine, and Young Geraldine. Old Ger. 
Son, let me tell you, you are ill advised;  
And doubly to be blamed, by undertaking  
Unnecessary travel; Grounding no reason  
For such a rash and giddy enterprise:  
What profit aim you at, you have not reaped;  
What Novelty affords the Christian world,  
Of which your view hath not participated  
In a full measure; Can you either better  
Your language or experience? Your self-will  
Hath only purpose to deprive a father  
Of a loved son, and many noble friends,  
Of your much wished acquaintance.  Y. Ger. 
Oh, dear Sir,  
Do not, I do entreat you, repent you  
Of your free grant; Which with such care and study.  
I have so long, so often laboured for.  Old Ger. 
Say that may be dispensed with, show me reason  
Why you desire to steal out of your Country,  
Like some Malefactor that had forfeited  
His life and freedom; here's a worthy Gentleman  
Hath for your sake invited many guests,  
To his great charge, only to take of you  
A parting leave; You send him word you cannot,  
After, you may not come: Had not my urgence,  
Almost compulsion, driven you to his house,  
Th' unkindness might have forfeited your love,  
And razed you from his will; In which he hath given you,  
A fair and large estate; Yet you of all this strangeness,  
Show no sufficient ground.  Y. Ger. 
Then understand;  
The ground thereof took his first birth from you;  
'Twas you first charged me to forbear the house,  
And that upon your blessing: Let it not then  
Offend you Sir, if I so great a charge  
Have strived to keep so strictly.  Old Ger. 
Me perhaps,  
You may appease, and with small difficulty.  
Because a Father; But how satisfy  
Their dear, and on your part, unmerited love?  
But this your last obedience may salve all:  
we now grow near the house.  Y. Ger. 
Whose doors, to me,  
Appear as horrid as the gates of Hell:  
Where shall I borrow patience, or from whence?  Enter Wincott, Wife, Ricott, the two Lionells, Owner, Dalavill, Prudentilla, Reignald, Rioter. 
To give a meeting to this viperous brood,  
Of Friend and Mistress.  Winc. 
Y'ave entertained me with a strange discourse  
Of your man's knavish wit, but I rejoice,  
That in your safe return, all ends so well:  
Most welcome you, and you, and indeed all;  
To whom I am bound, that at so short a warning,  
Thus friendly, you will deign to visit me.  Old Lio. 
It seems my absence hath begot some sport,  
Thank my kind servant here.  Reig. 
Not so much worth Sir.  Old Lio. 
But though their riots tripped at my estate,  
They have not quite o'erthrown it.  Winc. 
But see Gentlemen, these whom we most expected, come at length; This I proclaim the master of the Feast,  
In which to express the bounty of my love,  
I'll show myself no niggard.  Y. Ger. 
Your choice favours,  
I still taste in abundance.  Wife 
Methinks it would not misbecome me Sir,  
To chide your absence; That have made yourself,  
To us, so long a stranger.  He turns away sad, as not being minded. Y. Ger. 
Pardon me Sir,  
That have not yet, since your return from Sea,  
Voted the least fit opportunity,  
To entertain you with a kind salute.  Old Lio. 
Most kindly Sir I thank you.  Dal. 
Methinks friend,  
You should expect green rushes to be strewed,  
After such discontinuance.  Y. Ger. 
Mistress Pru,  
I have not seen you long, but greet you thus,  
May you be Lady of a better husband  
Than I expect a wife.  Winc. 
I like that greeting:  
Nay, enter Gentlemen; Dinner perhaps  
Is not yet ready, but the time we stay,  
we'll find some fresh discourse to spend away.  Exeunt. Manet Dalavill. Dal. 
Not speak to me? nor once vouchsafe an answer,  
But sleight me with a poor and base neglect?  
No, nor so much as cast an eye on her,  
Or least regard, though in a seeming show  
She courted a reply? twixt him and her,  
Nay him and me, this was not wont to be;  
If she have brain to apprehend as much  Enter Young Geraldire and Wife. 
As I have done, she'll quickly find it out:  
Now as I live, as our affections meet,  
So our conceits, and she hath singled him  
To some such purpose: I'll retire myself.  
Not interrupt their conference.  Exit. Wife. 
You are sad Sir.  Y. Ger. 
I know no cause.  Wife 
Then can I show you some;  
Who could be otherways, to leave a Father  
So careful, and each way so provident?  
To leave so many, and such worthy Friends?  
To abandon your own country? These are some,  
Nor do I think you can be much the merrier  
For my sake?  Y. Ger. 
Now your tongue speaks Oracles;  
For all the rest are nothing, 'tis for you,  
Only for you I cannot.  Wife 
So I thought;  
Why then have you been all this while so strange?  
Why will you travel? suing a divorce  
Betwixt us, of a love inseparable;  
For here shall I be left as desolate  
Unto a frozen, almost widowed bed;  
Warmed only in that future, stored in you;  
For who can in your absence comfort me?  Y. Ger. 
Shall my oppressed sufferance yet break forth  
Into impatience, or endure her more?  Wife 
But since by no persuasion, no entreats,  
Your settled obstinacy can be swal'd,  
Though you seem desperate of your own dear life,  
Have care of mine, for it exists in you.  
Oh Sir, should you miscarry I were lost,  
Lost and forsaken; Then by our past vows,  
And by this hand once given me, by these rears,  
Which are but springs begetting greater floods,  
I do beseech thou, my dear Geraldine,  
Look to thy safety, and preserve thy health;  
Have care into what company you fall;  
Travel not late, and cross no dangerous Seas;  
For till Heavens bless me in thy safe return,  
How will this poor heart suffer?  Y. Ger. 
I had thought  
Long since the sirens had been all destroyed;  
But one of them I find survives in her;  
She almost makes me question what I know,  
An Heretic unto my own belief:  
Oh thou mankind's seducer.  Wife 
What? no answer?  Y. Ger. 
Yes, thou hast spoke to me in Showers,  
I will reply in Thunder; Thou Adultress,  
That hast more poison in thee then the Serpent,  
Who was the first that did corrupt thy sex,  
The Devil.  Wife 
To whom speaks the man?  Y. Ger. 
To thee, falsest of all that ever man termed fair;  
Hath Impudence so stooled thy smooth soft skin,  
It cannot blush? Or sin so obdured thy heart,  
It doth not quake and tremble? Search thy conscience,  
There thou shalt find a thousand clamorous tongues  
To speak as loud as mine doth.  Wife. 
Save from yours,  
I hear no noise at all.  Y. Ger. 
I'll play the Doctor  
To open thy deaf ears; Monday the Ninth  
Of the last Month; Canst thou remember that?  
That Night more black in thy abhorred sin,  
Then in the gloomy darkness; That the time.  Wife. 
Monday?  Y. Ger. 
Wouldest thou the place know? Thy polluted Chamber,  
So often, witness of my sinless vows;  
Wouldest thou the Person? One not worthy Name,  
Yet to torment thy guilty Soul the more,  
I'll tell him thee, That Monster Dalavill;  
Wouldest thou your Bawd know? Midnight, that the hour;  
The very words thou spoke? Now what would Geraldine  
Say, if he saw us here? To which was answered,  
Tush he's a Coxcomb, fit to be so fooled:  
No blush? What, no faint Fever on thee yet?  
How hath thy black sins changed thee? Thou Medusa,  
Those Hairs that late appeared like golden wires,  
Now crawl with Snakes and Adders; Thou art ugly.  Wife. 
And yet my glass, till now, near told me so;  
Who gave you this intelligence?  Y. Ger. 
Only he,  
That pitying such an innocency as mine,  
Should by two such delinquents be betrayed,  
He brought me to that place by miracle;  
And made mean ear witness of all this.  Wife. 
I am undone.  Y. Ger. 
But think what thou hast lost  
To forfeit me; I not withstanding these,  
(So fixed was my love and vulnerable)  
I kept this from thy Husband, nay all ears,  
With thy transgressions smothering mine own wrongs,  
In hope of thy Repentance.  Wife. 
Which begins thus low upon my knees.  Y. Ger. 
Tush, bow to Heaven,  
Which thou hast most offended; alas,  
Save in such (Scarce unheard of) Treachery,  
Most sinful like thyself;  
Wherein, Oh wherein, hath my unspotted and unbounded Love  
deserved the least of these? Sworn to be made a stale  
For term of life; And all this for my goodness;  
Die, and die soon, acquit me of my Oath,  
But prithee die repentant; Farewell ever,  
'Tis thou, and only thou hast Banished me,  
Both from my Friends and Country.  Wife. 
Oh, I am lost.  Sinkes down. Enter Dalavill meeting Young Geraldine going out. Dal. 
Why how now, what's the business?  Y. Ger. 
Go take her Up, whom thou hast oft thrown Down, Villain.  Dal. 
That was no language from a Friend,  
It had too harsh an accent; But how's this?  
My Mistress thus low cast upon the earth  
graveling and breathless, Mistress, Lady, Sweet—  Wife. 
Oh tell me if thy name be Geraldine,  
Thy very looks will kill me?  Dal. 
View me well,  
I am no such man; See, I am Dalavill.  Wife. 
thouart than a Devil, that presents before me  
My horrid sins; persuades me to despair;  
When he like a good Angel sent from Heaven,  
Besought me of repentance; Swell sick Heart,  
Even till thou burst the ribs that bound thee in;  
So, there's one string cracked, flow, and flow high,  
Even till thy blood distil out of mine eyes,  
To witness my great sorrow.  Dal. 
Faint again,  
Some help within there, no attendant near?  
Thus to expire, in this I am more wretched,  
Than all the sweet fruition of her love  
Before could make me happy.  Enter Wincott Old Geraldine, Young Geraldine, the two Lionells, Ricott, Owner, Prudentilla, Reignald, Clown. Winc. 
What was he clamoured so loud,  
To mingle with our mirth this terror  
And affright?  Dal. 
See Sir, your Wife in these my arms expiring.  Winc. 
How?  Prud. 
My sister?  Winc. 
Support her, and by all means possible  
Provide for her dear safety.  Old Ger. 
See, she recovers.  Winc. 
Woman, look up.  Wife. 
Oh Sir, your pardon;  
Convey me to my Chamber, I am sick,  
Sick even to death, away thou Sycophant,  
Out of my sight, I have beside thyself,  
Too many sins about me.  Clo. 
My sweet Mistress.  Dal. 
The storm's coming, I must provide for harbour.  Exit. Old Lio. 
What strange and sudden alteration's this,  
How quickly is this clear day overcast,  
But such and so uncertain are all things,  
That dwell beneath the Moon.  Y. Lio. 
A Woman's qualm,  
Frailties that are inherent to her sex,  
Soon sick, and soon recovered.  Winc. 
If she misfare,  
I am a man more wretched in her loss,  
Then had I forfeited life and estate;  
She was so good a creature.  Old Ger. 
I the like  
Suffered, when I my Wife brought unto her grave;  
So you, when you were first a widower,  
Come arm yourself with patience.  Ric. 
These are casualties  
That are not new, but common.  Reig. 
Burying of Wives,  
As stale as shifting shifts, or for some servants,  
To flout and gull their Masters.  Own. 
Best to send  
And see how her fit holds her.  Enter Prudencilla and Clowne. Prud. 
Sir, my Sister  
In these few Lines commends her last to you,  
For she is now no more; What's therein writ,  
Save Heaven and you, none knows, This she desired  
You would take view of; and with these words expired.  Winc. 
Dead?  Y. Ger. 
She hath made one then a free release,  
Of all the debts I owed her.  Winc. 
My fear is beyond pardon, Dalavill  
Hath played the villain, but for Geraldine,  
He hath been each way Noble— Love him still,  
My peace already I have made with Heaven;  
Oh be not you at war with me; My Honour  
Is in your hands to punish, or preserve;  
I am now Confessed, and only Geraldine  
Hath wrought on me this unexpected good;  
The Ink I write with, I wish had been my blood,  
To witness me Repentance— Dalavill?  
Where's he? Go seek him out.  Clo. 
I shall, I shall Sir.  Exit. Winc. 
The Wills of Dead folk should be still obeyed;  
however false to me, I'll not reveal't;  
Where Heaven forgives, I pardon Gentlemen,  
I know you all commiserate my loss;  
I little thought this Feast should have been turned  Enter Clown. 
Into a Funeral; What's the news of him?  Clo. 
He went presently to the Stable, put the Saddle upon his Horse, put his Foot into the Stirrup, clapped his Spurs into his sides, and away he's Galloped, as if he were to ride a Race for a Wager.  Winc. 
All our ill lucks go with him, farewell he;  
But all my best of wishes wait on you,  
As my chief Friend; This meeting that was made  
Only to take of you a parting leave,  
Shall now be made a Marriage of our Love,  
Which none save only Death shall separate.  Y. Ger. 
It calls me from all Travel, and from henceforth,  
With my Country I am Friends.  Winc. 
The Lands that I have left,  
You lend me for the short space of my life;  
As soon as Heaven calls me, they call you Lord;  
First feast, and after Mourn; we'll like some Gallants  
That Bury thrifty Fathers, think't no sin,  
To wear Blacks without, but other Thoughts within.  Exeunt Omnes. 
FINIS.