EXCHANGE WARE AT THE SECOND HAND, VIZ.  
Band, Ruff, and Cuffe, lately out, and now newly dearned up.  
OR A DIALOGUE, ACTED IN A SHOW IN THE famous University of CAMBRIDGE.  
The second Edition.  
LONDON, Printed by W. Stansby for Miles Partridge, and are to be sold at his shop near Saint Dunston's Churchyard in Fleetstreet. 1615.   

RUFF, CUFFE, AND BANDS COMPLAINT AGAINST THE PRINTER.  
WHen th' Printer read the copy of our jars,  
He attached us straight as authors of some wars:  
And like a judge th'arraignment did begin,  
With guilty (yea or no) of such like sin.  
We that had words, yet knew not how to cry,  
Not guilty, Sir, condemned were to die:  
And since in silence thus our plea did rest,  
According to the law he'd have us priest.   

THE OWNERS APPEAL FROM M. PRINTER HIS FALSE JUDGEMENT.  
PRinter, you are mistaken in their fault,  
And though he swears, that Band, Cuffe, Ruff are nought,  
Yet thus the cause he'd have you understand,  
He was bewitched by this same Cuff, Ruff, Band.  
To do him justice, than he doth desire,  
Condemn this Ruff, Cuffe, Band, unto the fire.  
So shall you see your judgement will prove right,  
And so their faults shall sooner come to light.   

A Jury of Seamsters, and their verdict upon Band, Ruff, and Cuffe.  

1.  
I Viewed my wares, and found Bands case was good,  
And Ruff and Cuff, if rightly understood.  
The fault the Printers was; for he mistook,  
And made a writ of Error in the book.  
M. Pus.   

2.  
LEt judgement try to whom the faults belong,  
IT will say, the Printer did Ruff, Cuffe, Band wrong.  
M. T.   

3.  
I See no fault for which I judge it meet,  
That Ruff, Cuffe, Band should here stand in a sheet.  
M. A.   

4.  
THe work's well viewed, each man in it doth pry,  
It cannot scape the very Needle's eye:  
Yet this be sure, if aught had been o'reslipt,  
The fault by me should not have 'scaped unripped.  
M. H.   

5.  
NOt for to clear you, Ruff, Cuffe, Band, come I  
Hither to th' Term: but rather here to buy  
A prohibition for to make no more,  
Lest by this art, we Seampsters grow but poor.  
M. L.   

6.  
MY verdit's this, The accuser is in fault:  
To pick a hole in Ruff, Cuffe, Band, 'tis nought.  
M. O.   

7.  
THey press Ruff, Cuffe, & Band: (what reason's in't)  
And yet desire, they still should stand in print.  
M. B.   

8.  
Think not your face so good, as need no band:  
Dare not to spoil great Ruff; set not your hand,  
Cuffe to disgrace. All Linen else will take  
Up arms for Ruff, and Cuffe, and Band, and make  
Their enemies like Friars, wool-ward to lie,  
Or wear a Dishclout, yet afore they die.  
M. H.   

9  
THe faults in Ruff, Cuffe, Band, are whose, do you think?  
The Printers? I. He spoiled them with his Ink.  
M. I.   

10.  
WHat though the Printer Ruff, Cuffe, Band hath stained?  
I'll get it forth, or else let me be blamed.  
For all his black foul fingers never fear,  
But that the Laundress she can make them clear.  
M. D.   

11.  
IF this Ruff, Cuffe, and Band condemned are,  
we'll look unto the Linen, that we wear.  
Did you desire good Ware, you'd rather plead,  
The owner sure hath spun a goodly thread.  
M. D.   

12.  
When Cuffe at the Bar is forced to hold his hand,  
And there condemned is with Ruff & Band,  
You that can see in them there's such defects,  
High time it is to look unto your necks.  
M. E.    

The Owners desire.  
THe faults that may in Ruff, Cuffe, Band be named,  
Will surely make the Owner more than blamed;  
You will condemn him for what he mistook:  
Yet still he craves, you'd let him have his book.   

M. Stitchwels' sentence.  
THe Printer seeks some way to bring about,  
That he the second time might set Ruff out,  
With Cuffe and Band. The Owner doth begin  
To seek some way, that he may call them in.  
Thus to please both, & grant them their request,  
My sentence is, The Book shall be repressed.   

Upon the second Edition.  
BAnd, Ruff and Cuff, at first so well did go  
Through Stitch, as nought might added be thereto.  
Yet in my mind they now seem well enriched,  
Since by the Printer, they have been double stitched.  
M. Burse.   

WAre ne'er the worse for wearing? 'twas much afore.  
But now new washed and starched, 'tis thus much more.  
You'll not lose twelvepence by it (mark what you give)  
Wear it and use't, as long as ere you live.  
M. Exchange.   

To the Cheapner.  
Do you hear, Sir? one word more:  
Pray let me know,  
What is the utmost farthing you'll bestow?  
To sell at such a rate, there's none can live.  
But since no more y'are minded for to give,  
Hark in your ear (I hope you'll not reveal it)  
It cost me so, or I in troth did steal it.   

A Merry Dialogue between BAND, CUFFE, and RUFF.  
ACTORS.  

Band,  
Cuffe and  
Ruff.   Enter BAND and CUFFE. Band. 
CUFFE, where art thou?  Cuffe. 
Hear at hand.  ENTER RUFF. Ruff. 
WHere is this Cuffe?  Cuffe. 
Almost at your Elbow.  Ruff. 
OH Band, art thou there? I thought thou hadst been worn out of date by this time, or shrunk in the wetting at least.  Band. 
What? do you think I am afraid of your great words? no, you shall know that there be men of fashion in place, as well as yourself.  Cuffe. 
Good Band, do not fret so.  Band. 
A scurvy shagrag Gentleman, new come out of the North, a Puny, a Freshman, come up hither to learn fashions and seek to expel me?  Cuffe. 
Nay: if you be so broad with him, Band, we shall have a fray presently.  Ruff. 

He justles B. and C. stays him.  Sir, I'll pull down you collar from you.  Cuffe. 
It was fit time for me to stay you up, for I am sure you were a falling Band.  Ruff. 
Well, Band, for all you are so stiff, I'll make you limber enough before I have done with you.  Band. 
No, Hodge Poker, it's more than you can do.  Ruff. 
'Sfoot, let me come to him: well, Band, let me catch you in another place, and I will make cutwork of you.  Band. 
there's ne'er a Spanish Ruff of you all can do it.  Cuffe. 
'Sfoot, if these two should go together by the ears and hurt one another, Cuffe would be in a fine plight: would he not?  Ruff. 
Well, Band, look to thyself, for if I meet thee, I will lace thee roundly.  Band. 
Lace me? thou wouldst be laced thyself, Ruff: for this is the very truth, thou art a plain Knave.  Cuffe. 
If they talk of lacing, I were best look about myself.  Ruff. 
Darest thou meet me in the field?  Band. 
In the field? why? thou art but an efminate fellow, Ruff; for all thou art so well set: but at what weapon?  Ruff. 
Nay, I will give thee that advantage, bring thou what weapons thou wilt, I scorn to make any thing of thee, Band, but needlework.  Band. 
'Sfoot, thou shalt know, a Gentleman and a Soldier scorns thy proffer.  Ruff. 
A Soldier?  Cuffe. 
Did you not hear of the great Bands went over of late?  Ruff. 
Where did you serve? in the Low Countries?  Cuffe. 
It may be so, for I am sure he is a Holland Band.  Band. 
Where I have served, it is no matter: but I am sure I have been pressed oft.  Cuffe. 
Truly, his Laundress will bear him witness thereof.  Ruff. 
Press me no press: I'll make you know that Ruff is steeled to the back, if I had my stick here, you should feel it.  Band. 
Nay, bragger, it is not your great words can carry it away so; give Band but a hem, and he will be for you at any time, name the place, the time and hour of our meeting.  Ruff. 
The place, the Paper-mills, where I will tear thee into Rags, before I have done with thee: the time, to morrow in the afternoon about one: but do you hear? we will fight single, you shall not be double, Band.  Cuffe. 
Now I perceive, the Spaniard and the Hollander will to it roundly.  Ruff. 
But do you hear? once more do not say at our next meeting you forgot the time.  Cuffe. 
No, I dare warrant you, there is no man more careful of the time than he: for I am sure he hath always at the least a dozen Clocks about him.  Ruff. 
Farewell then.  Band. 
Then farewell.  Cuffe. 
Nay, you shall not part so, you will go into the fields, and know not what fight means: a couple of white liuered fellows, your Laundress will make you both as white as a clout if she list; If you lack beating, she'll beat you, I'll warrant you, she'll so clap your sides together, that they shall be beaten out in once or twice handling; why? I have known her leave her marks behind her a whole week after, she'll quickly beat you Black and Blue, for I am sure she'll scarce wash white before she starch.  Band. 
Well, remember the time and place, Ruff.  Cuffe. 
Well, remember yourselves and Mistress Stitchwel, one to whom you have been both beholding in your days.  Band. 
Who? Mistress Stitchwell, by this light I know her not.  Cuffe. 
No, nor you neither?  Ruff. 
Nor I, I swear by all the Gum and Blue-starcj in Christendom.  Cuffe. 
I thought so, why it's the Sempster, one that both you had been undone, had it not been for her: but what talk I of your undoing? I say Mistress Stitchwel the Sempster was the very maker of you both, yet thus little do you regard her: but it is the common custom of you all, when you come to be so great as you are, you forget from what house you come.  Ruff. 
'Sfoot, Ruff careth not a pin for her.  Band. 
Nor Band a button.  Cuffe. 
Well, Band and Ruff, you were best both of you to take heed of her, you know she set you both in the Stocks once before, and if she catch you again, it is a hundredth to one, if she hang you not both up, for she hath got strings already.  Ruff. 
Meet me, if thou darest.  Band. 
The place the Paper-mills, the hour to morrow at one.  Cuffe. 
Since you will go, go; but hear me, if you go, look at me well; as little a fellow as I am, I will come and Cuff you both out of the fields; if I do not, say, Cuffe is no man of his hands.  Ruff. 
Alas poor shrimp, thou art nothing in my hands.  Cuffe. 
If you go, you shall never say that Cuffe came of a sleeveless errand: I'll bind your hands (I warrant you) for striking.  Band. 
Say and hold.  Ruff. 
Remember the Paper-mills.  Cuffe. 
And you be so choleric, I'll even pin you both in, as soon as I come home: can you not decide the quarrel between yourselves without a field? I had thought you had been a little more mild, Ruff. You were a horrible Puritan the other day, and very precise, Ruff.  Ruff. 
Hang him, base Rascal: would he not make any man mad, to see such a— that durst not (scarce) peep out, before Collar came to Town, now to swagger thus?  Cuffe. 
Come, you shall be friends, Band.  Band. 
Friends with him? such a base Rascal? he is a very threadbare fellow: I scorn, but my man Collar should go as well as he every day in the week, and be friends with him.  Ruff. 
Thy man, collar? thy Master, thou wouldst have said, I am sure he is thy upholder.  Cuffe. 
Nay, surely he is his Master, at least his Maker: for Bands make rags; Rags make Paper, Paper makes Pasteboard, and Pasteboard makes Collar; and I think that this is a stiff argument that he is his Master.  Ruff. 
Well, be he what he will, if I catch his Collar, I'll cut him in jags, let me but clasp him, and I'll make him for stirring.  Cuffe. 
But you shall not. Have you not Friends and Neighbours enough to end this controversy, but you must go into the fields, and there cut the thread of your lives? we'll have none of that: come choose you an Umpire, Band, for it shall be so.  Band. 
Since you will force me to it, if Ruff be content, I am willing.  Cuffe. 
Ruff, you shall be content.  Ruff. 
If I shall, than I must, let him name him.  Band. 
If I may choose, I'll have Master Handkerchief.  Cuffe. 
Nay, stay there, he is a most filthy Snivelling fellow, & a notable lawyer; he will wipe your Nose of all, if you put the case to him: but what say you to Shirt?  Ruff. 
He is a shifting knave, and one, to whom Band, a little before hath been much beholding. Why, they were joined a long time together in friendship.  Cuffe. 
Why, then go to Master Cap, the headman of the Town.  Band. 
No, I deny that, he is a very bad justice, you may have him wrought on any side for money.  Ruff. 
I'll tell you what, than we will go to my Lord Corpus himself.  Band. 
He is not in Town.  Ruff. 
He is, for I saw Sock, his chief Footman here yesterday.  Cuffe. 
here's ado with you, and my Lord Corpus, indeed, I would you were both hanged about his neck for me. But I see, this strife will never be ended, till I be Arbitrator myself, you know, I am equally allied to you both: shall I be Moderator between you?  Band and Ruff. 
Content.  Cuffe. 
Well then, thus I pronounce. Ruff shall be most accounted of amongst the Clergy, for he is the graver Fellow. (Although I know, the Puritans will not greatly care for him, he hath such a deal of setting, and they love standing better.) As for you, Band, you shall be most made of amongst the young Gallants (although sometimes they shall use Ruff, for a fashion, but not otherwise;) how ever, you need not regard the giddy headed multitude, let them do as they list, sometimes respecting one, sometimes the other: but when you come to the Counsellors, and men of Law, which know right from wrong, acknowledging both your Worths to be equal, they shall prefer neither, but use the kindness of you both, wearing both a Band and a Ruff; how say you, are you both content?  Band and Ruff. 
We are.  Ruff. 
Then go before me to the next Tavern, and I'll follow after with a Band of your friendship drawn, which I hope these Gentlemen will seal with their hands.  Exeunt Band and Ruff. Cuffe. 
Claw me, and I'll claw thee, the proverb goes,  
Let it be true in that our Muse here shoes,  
Cuffe graceth hand, Cuffs debtors hands remain,  
Let hands clap me, and I'll Cuff them again.  Exit Cuffe.  
FINIS.