The Alchemist.  
THE ARGUMENT.  
The sickness hot, a master quit, for fear,  
His house in town: and left one servant there.  
Ease him corrupted, and gave means to know  
A cheater, and his punk; who, now brought low,  
Leaving their narrow practice, were become  
cozeners at large: and, only wanting some  
House to set up, with him they hear contract,  
Each for a share, and all begin to act.  
Much company they draw, and much abuse,  
In casting figures, telling fortunes, news,  
Selling of flies, flat bawdry, with the stone:  
Till it, and they, and all in fume are gone.   

prologue.  
FORTUNE, that favours fools, these two short hours  
We wish away; both for your sakes, and ours,  
judging Spectators: and desire in place,  
To th'Author justice, to ourselves but grace.  
Our Scene is London, 'cause we would make known,  
No country's mirth is better than our own.  
No clime breeds better matter, for your whore,  
Bawd, squire, impostor, many persons more,  
Whose manners, now called humours, feed the stage:  
And which have still been subject, for the rage  
Or spleen of comic-writers. Though this pen  
Did never aim to grieve, but better men;  
howe'er the age, he lives in, doth endure  
The vices that she breeds, above their cure.  
But, when the wholesome remedies are sweet,  
And, in their working, gain, and profit meet,  
He hopes to find no spirit so much diseased,  
But will, with such fair correctives be pleased.  
For here, he doth not fear, who can apply.  
If there be any, that will sit so nigh  
Unto the stream, to look what it doth run,  
They shall find things, they'd think, or wish, were done;  
They are so natural follies, but so shown,  
As even the doers may see, and yet not own.   


Act I. Scene I.  FACE, Subtle, DOL Common. 
believe't, I will.  SVB. 
Thy worst. I fart at thee.  DOL. 
Ha' you your wits? Why gentlemen! for love—  FAC. 
Sirrah, I'll strip you—  SVB. 
What to do? lick sigs  
Out at my—  FAC. 
Rogue, rogue, out of all your sleights.  DOL. 
Nay, look ye! Sovereign, General, are you madmen?  SVB. 
O, let the wild sheep lose. I'll gum your silks  
With good strong water, an'you come.  DOL. 
Will you have  
The neighbours hear you? Will you betray all?  
Hark, I hear somebody.  FAC. 
Sirrah—  SVB. 
I shall mar  
All that the tailor has made, if you approach.  FAC. 
You most notorious whelp, you insolent slave.  
Dare you do this?  SVB. 
Yes faith, yes faith.  FAC. 
Why! who  
Am I, my mongrel? Who am I?  SVB. 
I'll tell you,  
Since you know not yourself—  FAC. 
Speak lower, rogue.  SVB. 
Yes. You were once (time's not long passed) the good,  
Honest, plain, livery-three-pound-thrum; that kept  
Your master's worship's house, here, in the friars,  
For the vacations—  FAC. 
Will you be so loud?  SVB. 
Since, by my means, translated suburb-captain.  FAC. 
By your means, Doctor dog?  SVB. 
Within man's memory,  
All this, I speak of.  FAC. 
Why, I pray you, have I  
Been countenanced by you? or you, by me?  
Do but collect, sir, where I met you first.  SVB. 
I do not hear well.  FAC. 
Not of this, I think it.  
But I shall put you in mind, sir, at pie-corner.  
Taking your meal of steam in, from cook's stalls,  
Where, like the father of hunger, you did walk  
Piteously costive, with your pinched-horn-nose,  
And your complexion, of the roman wash,  
Stuck full of black, and melancholic worms,  
Like poulder-corns, shot, at th'artillery-yard.  SVB. 
I wish, you could advance your voice, a little.  FAC. 
When you went pinned up, in the several rags,  
Yo'had raked, and picked from dunghills, before day,  
Your feet in mouldy slippers, for your kibes,  
A felt of rug, and a thin threaden cloak,  
That scarce would cover your no-buttocks—  SVB. 
So, sir!  FAC. 
When all your alchemy, and your algebra,  
Your minerals, vegetals, and animals,  
Your conjuring, cozening, and your dozen of trades,  
Could not relieve your corpse, with so much linen  
Would make you tinder, but to see a fire;  
I ga'you countenance, credit for your coals,  
Your stills, your glasses, your materials,  
Built you a furnace, drew you customers,  
Advanced all your black arts; lent you, beside,  
A house to practise in—  SVB. 
Your master's house?  FAC. 
Where you have studied the more thriving skill  
Of bawdry, since.  SVB. 
Yes, in your master's house.  
You, and the rats, here, kept possession.  
Make it not strange. I know, yo' were one, could keep  
The buttery-hatch still locked, and save the chippings,  
Sell the dole-beer to aqua-vitae-men,  
The which, together with your christmas veils,  
At post and pair, your letting out of counters,  
Made you a pretty stock, some twenty marks,  
And gave you credit, to converse with cobwebs,  
Here, since your mistress death hath broke up house.  FAC. 
You might talk softlier, rascal.  SVB. 
No, you scarab,  
I'll thunder you, in pieces. I will teach you  
How to beware, to tempt a fury again  
That carries tempest in his hand, and voice.  FAC. 
The place has made you valiant.  SVB. 
No, your clothes.  
Thou vermin, have I ta'en thee, out of dung,  
So poor, so wretched, when no living thing  
Would keep thee company, but a spider, or worse?  
Raised thee from brooms, and dust, and watering pots?  
Sublimed thee, and exalted thee, and fixed thee  
I' the third region, called our state of grace?  
Wrought thee to spirit, to quintessence, with pains  
Would twice have won me the philosopher's work?  
Put thee in words, and fashion? made thee fit  
For more than ordinary fellowships?  
Given thee thy oaths, thy quarreling dimensions?  
Thy rules, to cheat at horse-race, cockpit, cards,  
Dice, or what ever gallant tincture, else?  
Made thee a second, in mine own great art?  
And have I this for thank? Do you rebel?  
Do you fly out, i' the projection?  
Would you be gone, now?  DOL 
Gentlemen, what mean you?  
Will you mar all?  Sub. 
Slave, thou hadst had no name—  DOL 
Will you undo yourselves, with civil war?  Sub. 
Never been known, past equi clibanum,  
The heat of horse-dung, under ground, in cellars,  
Or an alehouse, darker than deaf IOHN's: been lost  
To all mankind, but laundresses, and tapsters,  
Had not I been.  DOL 
doyou know who hears you, Sovereign?  FAC. 
Sirrah—  DOL 
Nay, General, I thought you were civil—  FAC. 
I shall turn desperate, if you grow thus loud.  Sub. 
And hang thyself, I care not.  FAC. 
Hang thee, collier,  
And all thy pots, and pans, in picture I will,  
Since thou hast moved me.—  DOL 
(O, this'll o'erthrow all.)  FAC. 
Write thee up bawd, in Paul's; have all thy tricks  
Of cozening with a hollow coal, dust, scrape,  
Searching for things lost, with a siue, and shears,  
Erecting figures, in your rows of houses,  
And taking in of shadows, with a glass,  
Told in red letters: And a face, cut for thee,  
Worse than GAMALIEL RATSEY'S.  DOL 
Are you sound?  
Ha' you your senses, masters?  FAC. 
I will have  
A book, but barely reckoning thy impostures,  
Shall prove a true philosopher's stone, to printers.  Sub. 
Away, you trencher-raskall.  FAC. 
Out you dog-leech,  
The vomit of all prisons—  DOL 
Will you be  
Your own destructions, gentlemen?  FAC. 
Still spewed out  
For lying too heavy o'the basket.  Sub. 
Cheater.  FAC. 
Bawd.  Sub. 
Cow-herd.  FAC. 
conjuror.  Sub. 
Cutpurse.  FAC. 
Witch.  DOL 
O me!  
We are ruined! lost! Ha'you no more regard  
To your reputations? Where's your judgement? 'Slight,  
Have yet, some care of me, o'your republic—  FAC. 
Away this brach. I'll bring thee, rogue, within  
The statute of sorcery, tricesimo tertio.  
Or HARRY the eight: I, and (perhaps) thy neck  
Within a noose, for laundring gold, and barbing it.  DOL 
You'll bring your head within a coxcomb, will you?  
And you, sir, with your menstrue, gather it up.  
'Sdeath, you abominable pair of stinkards,  
Leave off your barking, and grow one again,  
Or, by the light that shines, I'll cut your throats.  She catcheth out Face his sword: and breaks Subtles glass. 
I'll not be made a prey unto the marshal,  
For ne'er a snarling dog-bolt o'you both.  
Ha' you together cozened all this while,  
And all the world, and shall it now be said  
Yo' have made most courteous shift, to cozen yourselves?  
You will accuse him? You will bring him in  
Within the statute? Who shall take your word?  
A whoreson, upstart, apocryphal captain,  
Whom not a puritan, in blackfriars, will trust  
So much, as for a feather! And you too,  
Will give the cause, forsooth? You will insult,  
And claim a primacy, in the divisions?  
You must be chief? as if you, only, had  
The powder to project with? and the work  
Were not begun out of equality?  
The venture tripartite? All things in common?  
Without priority? 'Sdeath, you perpetual curs,  
Fall to your couples again, and cousin kindly,  
And heartily, and lovingly, as you should,  
And lose not the beginning of a term,  
Or, by this hand, I shall grow factious too,  
And, take my part, and quit you.  FAC. 
'T is his fault,  
He ever murmurs, and objects his pains,  
And says, the weight of all lies upon him.  Sub. 
Yes, but they are not equal.  DOL 
Why, if your part exceed today, I hope  
Ours may, tomorrow, match it.  Sub. 
I, they may.  DOL 
May, murmuring mastiff? I, and do. Death on me!  
Help me to thrattell him.  Sub. 
DOROTHY, mistress DOROTHY,  
O'ds precivos, I'll do anything. What do you mean?  DOL 
Because o'your fermentation, and cibation?  Sub. 
Not I, by heaven—  DOL 
Your Sol, and Luna— help me.  Sub. 
Would I were hanged then. I'll conform myself.  DOL 
Will you, sir, do so then, and quickly: swear.  Sub. 
What should I swear?  DOL 
To leave your faction, sir.  
And labour, kindly, in the common work.  Sub. 
Let me not breath, if I meant aught, beside.  
I only used those speeches, as a spur  
To him.  DOL 
I hope we need no spurs, sir. Do we?  FAC. 
'Slid, prove today, who shall shark best.  SVB. 
Agreed.  DOL. 
Yes, and work close, and friendly.  SVB. 
'Slight, the knot  
Shall grow the stronger, for this breach, with me.  DOL. 
Why so, my good baboons! Shall we go make  
A sort of sober, scurvy, precise neighbours,  
(That scarce have smiled twice, sin' the king came in)  
A feast of laughter, at our follies? rascals,  
Would run themselves from breath, to see me ride,  
Or you t'have but a hole, to thrust your heads in,  
For which you should pay ear-rent? No, agree.  
And may DONE Provost ride a feasting, long,  
In his old velvet jerkin, and stained scarves,  
(My noble Sovereign, and worthy General)  
Ere we contribute a new cruel garter  
To his most worsted worship.  SVB. 
Royal DOL!  
Spoken like CLARIDIANA, and thyself!  FAC. 
For which, at supper, thou shalt sit in triumph,  
And not be styled DOL Common, but DOL Proper,  
DOL Singular: the longest cut, at night,  
Shall draw thee for his DOL Particular.  SVB. 
Who's that? one rings. To the window,  DOL. 
Pray heaven,  
The master do not trouble us, this quarter.  FAC. 
O, fear not him. While there dies one, a week,  
O'the plague, he's safe, from thinking toward London.  
Beside, he's busy at his hop-yards, now:  
I had a letter from him. If he do,  
he'll send such word, for airing o' the house  
As you shall have sufficient time, to quit it:  
Though we break up a fortnight, 'tis no matter.  SVB. 
Who is it, DOL?  DOL. 
A fine young quodling.  FAC. 
O,  
My lawyer's clerk, I lighted on, last night,  
In Holborn, at the dagger. He would have  
(I told you of him) a familiar,  
To rifle with, at horses, and win cups.  DOL. 
O, let him in.  SVB. 
Stay. Who shall do't?  FAC. 
Get you  
Your robes on. I will meet him, as going out.  DOL. 
And what shall I do?  FAC. 
Not be seen, away.  
Seem you very reserved.  SVB. 
Enough.  FAC. 
God b'w'you, sir.  
I pray you, let him know that I was here.  
His name is DAPPER. I would gladly have stayed, but—   

Act I. Scene II.  DAPPER, FACE, Subtle. 
captain, I am here.  FAC. 
Who's that? He's come, I think, Doctor.  
Good faith, sir, I was going away.  DAP. 
In truth,  
I'm very sorry, Captain.  FAC. 
But I thought  
Sure, I should meet you.  DAP. 
ay, I'm very glad.  
I'had a scurvy writ, or two, to make,  
And I had lent my watch last night, to one  
That dines, today, at the sheriffs: and so was robbed  
Of my pastime. Is this the cunning-man?  FAC. 
This is his worship.  DAP. 
Is he a Doctor?  FAC. 
Yes.  DAP. 
And ha'you broke with him, Captain?  FAC. 
I.  DAP. 
And how?  FAC. 
Faith, he does make the matter, sir, so dainty,  
I know not what to say—  DAP. 
Not so, good Captain.  FAC. 
Would I were fairly rid on't, believe me.  DAP. 
Nay, now you grieve me, sir. Why should you wish so?  
I dare assure you. I'll not be ungrateful.  FAC. 
I cannot think you will, sir. But the law  
Is such a thing— And then, he says, Read's matter  
Falling so lately—  DAP. 
read? He was an ass,  
And dealt, sir, with a fool.  FAC. 
It was a clerk, sir.  DAP. 
A clerk?  FAC. 
Nay, hear me, sir, you know the law  
Better, I think—  DAP. 
I should, sir, and the danger.  
You know I show'd the statute to you?  FAC. 
You did so.  DAP. 
And will I tell, then? By this hand, of flesh,  
Would it might never wright good court-hand, more,  
If I discover. What do you think of me,  
That I am a Chiause?  FAC. 
What's that?  DAP. 
The Turk was, here—  
As one would say, do you think I am a Turk?  FAC. 
I'll tell the Doctor so.  DAP. 
Do, good sweet Captain.  FAC. 
Come, noble Doctor, pray thee, let's prevail,  
This is the gentleman, and he is no Chiause.  SVB. 
Captain, I have returned you all my answer.  
I would do much, sir, for your love— But this  
I neither may, nor can.  FAC. 
Tut, do not say so.  
You deal, now, with a noble fellow, Doctor,  
One that will thank you, richly, and he's no Chiause:  
Let that, sir, move you.  SVB. 
Pray you, forbear—  FAC. 
He has  
four angels, here—  SVB. 
You do me wrong, good sir.  FAC. 
Doctor, wherein? To tempt you, with these spirits?  SVB. 
To tempt my art, and love, sir, to my peril.  
'Fore heaven, I scarce can think you are my friend,  
That so would draw me to apparent danger.  FAC. 
I draw you? A horse draw you, and a halter,  
You, and your flies together—  DAP 
Nay, good Captain.  FAC. 
That know no difference of men.  Sub. 
Good words, sir.  FAC. 
Good deeds, sir, Doctor dogs-meate. 'Slight I bring you  
No cheating Clim-o'the-Cloughs, or CLARIBELS,  
That look as big as five-and-fiftie, and flush,  
And spit out secrets, like hot custard—  DAP 
Captain.  FAC. 
Nor any melancholic under-scribe,  
Shall tell the Vicar: but, a special gentle,  
That is the heir to forty marks, a year,  
Consorts with the small poets of the time,  
Is the sole hope of his old grandmother,  
That knows the law, and writes you six fair hands,  
Is a fine clerk, and has his cyphring perfect,  
Will take his oath, o'the greek XENOPHON,  
If need be, in his pocket: and can court  
His mistress, out of OVID.  DAP 
Nay, dear Captain.  FAC. 
Did you not tell me, so?  DAP 
Yes, but I'd ha' you  
Use master Doctor, with some more respect.  FAC. 
Hang him proud stag, with his broad velvet head.  
But, for your sake, I'd choke, ere I would change  
An article of breath, with such a puckfist—  
Come let's begone.  Sub. 
Pray you, le'me speak with you.  DAP 
His worship calls you, Captain.  FAC. 
I am sorry,  
I e'er embarked myself, in such a business.  DAP 
Nay, good sir. He did call you.  FAC. 
Will he take, then?  Sub. 
First, hear me—  FAC. 
Not a syllable, 'less you take.  Sub. 
Pray ye, sir—  FAC. 
Upon no terms, but an assumpsit.  Sub. 
Your humour must be law.  FAC. 
Why now, sir, talk.  
Now, I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak.  
So may this gentleman too.  Sub. 
Why, sir—  FAC. 
No whispering.  Sub. 
'Fore heaven, you do not apprehend the loss  
You do you self, in this.  FAC. 
Wherein? For what?  Sub. 
Marry, to be so'importunate for one,  
That, when he has it, will undo you all:  
he'll win up all the money i'the town.  FAC. 
How!  Sub. 
Yes. And blow up gamester, after gamester,  
As they do crackers, in a puppit-play.  
If I do give him a familiar,  
Give you him all you play for; never set him:  
For he will have it.  FAC. 
You're mistaken, Doctor.  
Why, he does ask one but for cups, and horses,  
A rifling fly: none o'your great familiars.  DAP 
Yes, Captain, I would have it, for all games.  Sub. 
I told you so.  FAC. 
'Slight, that's a new business!  
I understood you, a tame bird, to fly  
Twice in a term, or so; on friday-nights,  
When you had left the office: for a nag,  
Of forty, or fifty shillings.  DAP 
I, 'tis true, sir,  
But I do think, now, I shall leave the law,  
And therefore—  FAC. 
Why, this changes quite the case!  
doyou think, that I dare move him?  DAP 
If you please, sir,  
All's one to him, I see.  FAC. 
What! for that money?  
I cannot with my conscience. Nor should you  
Make the request, me thinks.  DAP 
No, sir, I mean  
To add consideration.  FAC. 
Why, then, sir,  
I'll try. Say, that it were for all games, Doctor?  Sub. 
I say, then, not a mouth shall eat for him  
At any ordinary, but o'the score,  
That is a gaming mouth, conceive me.  FAC. 
Indeed!  Sub. 
he'll draw you all the treasure of the realm,  
If it be set him.  FAC. 
Speak you this from art?  Sub. 
I, sir, and reason too: the ground of art.  
he's o'the only best complexion,  
The queen of Fairy loves.  FAC. 
What! is he!  Sub. 
Peace.  
he'll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him—  FAC. 
What?  Sub. 
Do not you tell him.  FAC. 
Will he win at cards too?  Sub. 
The spirits of dead HOLLAND, living ISAAC,  
You'd swear, were in him: such a vigorous luck  
As cannot be resisted. 'Slight he'll put  
Six o'your gallants, to a cloak, indeed.  FAC. 
A strange success, that some man shall be borne too!  Sub. 
He hears you, man—  DAP 
Sir, I'll not be ingrateful.  FAC. 
Faith, I have a confidence in his good nature:  
You hear, he says, he will not be ingrateful.  Sub. 
Why, as you please, my venture follows yours.  FAC. 
Troth, do it, Doctor. Think him trusty, and make him.  
He may make us both happy in an hour:  
Win some five thousand pound, and send us too on't.  DAP 
Believe it, and I will, sir.  FAC. 
And you shall, sir.  
You have heard all?  DAP 
No, what was't? nothing, I sir.  FAC. 
Nothing?  DAP 
A little, sir.  FAC. 
Well, a rare star  
Reigned, at your birth.  DAP 
At mine, sir? no.  FAC. 
The Doctor  
Swears that you are—  Sub. 
Nay, Captain, you'll tell all, now.  FAC. 
Allied to the queen of Fairy.  DAP 
Who? that I am?  
Believe it, no such matter—  FAC. 
Yes, and that  
Yo'Yo' borne with a call o'your head.  DAP 
Who says so?  FAC. 
Come.  
You know it well enough, though you dissemble it.  DAP 
I-fac, I do not. You are mistaken.  
Swear by your fac? and in a thing so known  
Unto the Doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you  
I'the other matter? Can we ever think,  
When you have won five, or six thousand pound,  
You'll send us shares in't, by this rate?  DAP. 
By JOVE, sir,  
I'll win ten thousand pound, and send you half.  
I-fac's no oath.  SVB. 
No, no, he did but jest.  FAC. 
Go too. Go, thank the Doctor. He's your friend  
To take it so.  DAP. 
I thank his worship.  FAC. 
So?  
Another angel.  DAP. 
Must I?  FAC. 
Must you? 'slight,  
What else is thanks? will you be trivial? Doctor,  
When must he come, for his familiar?  DAP. 
Shall I not ha'it with me?  SVB. 
O, good sir!  
There must a world of ceremonies pass,  
You must be bathed, and fumigated, first;  
Besides, the Queen of fairy does not rise,  
Till it be noon.  FAC. 
Not, if she danced, tonight.  SVB. 
And she must bless it.  FAC. 
Did you never see  
Her royal Grace, yet?  DAP. 
Whom?  FAC. 
Your aunt of fairy?  SVB. 
Not, since she kissed him, in the cradle, Captain,  
I can resolve you that.  FAC. 
Well, see her Grace,  
whate'er it cost you, for a thing that I know!  
It will be somewhat hard to compass: but,  
however, see her. You are made, believe it,  
If you can see her. Her Grace is a lone woman,  
And very rich, and if she take a fancy,  
She will do strange things. See her, at any hand.  
'Slid, she may hap to leave you all she has!  
It is the doctor's fear.  DAP. 
How will't be done, then?  FAC. 
Let me alone, take you no thought. Do you  
But say to me, Captain, I'll see her Grace.  DAP. 
One knocks without. Captain, I'll see her Grace.  FAC. 
Enough.  SVB. 
Who's there?  
anon. (Conduct him forth, by the back way)  
Sir, against one o'clock, prepare yourself.  
Till when you must be fasting; only, take  
Three drops of vinegar, in, at your nose;  
Two at your mouth; and one, at either ear;  
Then, bathe your fingers ends; and wash your eyes;  
To sharpen your five senses; and, cry hum,  
Thrice; and then buz, as often; and then, come.  FAC. 
Can you remember this?  DAP. 
I warrant you.  FAC. 
Well, then, away. 'Tis, but your bestowing  
Some twenty nobles, 'mong her grace's servants;  
And, put on a clean shirt: You do not know  
What grace her Grace may do you in clean linen.   

Act I. Scene III.  Subtle, DRUGGER, FACE. 
COme in (Good wives, I pray you forbear me, now.  
Troth I can do you no good, till afternoon)  
What is your name, say you, ABEL DRUGGER?  DRV. 
Yes, sir.  SVB. 
A seller of tobacco?  DRV. 
Yes, sir.  SVB. 
Umh.  
Free of the Grocers?  DRV. 
ay, an't please you.  SVB. 
Well—  
Your business, ABEL?  DRV. 
This, an't please your worship,  
I'm a young beginner, and am building  
Of a new shop, an't like your worship; just,  
At corner of a street: (Here's the plot on't.)  
And I would know, by art, sir, of your worship,  
Which way I should make my door, by necromancy.  
And, where my shelves. And, which should be for boxes.  
And, which for pots. I would be glad to thrive, sir.  
And, I was wished to your worship, by a gentleman,  
One Captain FACE, that says you know men's planets,  
And their good angels, and their bad.  SVB. 
I do,  
If I do see 'em—  FAC. 
What! my honest ABEL?  
Thou art well met, here!  DRV. 
Troth, sir, I was speaking,  
Just, as your worship came here, of your worship.  
I pray you, speak for me to master Doctor.  FAC. 
He shall do any thing. Doctor, do you hear?  
This is my friend, ABEL, an honest fellow,  
He lets me have good tobacco, and he does not  
Sophisticate it, with sack-lees, or oil,  
Nor washes it in muscadel, and grains,  
Nor buries it, in gravel, under ground,  
Wrapped up in greasy leather, or pissed clouts:  
But keeps it in fine lily-pots, that opened,  
Smell like conserve of roses, or french beans.  
He has his maple block, his silver tongues,  
Winchester pipes, and fire of juniper.  
A neat, spruce-honest-fellow, and no goldsmith.  SVB. 
he's a fortunate fellow, that I am sure on—  FAC. 
Already, sir, ha' you found it? Lo'thee ABEL!  SVB. 
And, in right way toward riches—  FAC. 
Sir.  SVB. 
This summer,  
He will be of the clothing of his company:  
And, next spring, called to the scarlet. Spend what he can.  FAC. 
What, and so little beard?  SVB. 
Sir, you must think,  
He may have a receipt, to make hair come.  
But he'll be wise, preserve his youth, and fine for't:  
His fortune looks for him, another way.  FAC. 
'Slid, Doctor, how canst thou know this so soon?  
I'm amused, at that!  Sub. 
By a rule, Captain,  
In metaposcopy, which I do work by,  
A certain star i'the forehead, which you see not.  
Your chest-nut, or your oliue-coloured face  
Does never fail: and your long ear doth promise.  
I knew't, by certain spots too, in his teeth,  
And on the nail of his mercurial finger.  FAC. 
Which finger's that?  Sub. 
His little finger. Look.  
Yo'were borne upon a wednesday?  DRU. 
Yes, indeed, sir.  Sub. 
The thumb, in chiromantie, we give VENUS;  
The forefinger to JOVE; the midst, to SATURN;  
The ring to SOL; the least, to MERCURY:  
Who was the lord, sir, of his horoscope,  
His house of life being Libra, which foreshowed,  
He should be a merchant, and should trade with balance.  FAC. 
Why, this is strange! Is't not, honest NAB?  Sub. 
There is a ship now, coming from Ormus,  
That shall yield him, such a commodity  
Of drugs— This is the west, and this the south?  DRU. 
Yes, sir;  Sub. 
And those are your two sides?  DRU. 
I, sir.  Sub. 
Make me your door, than south; your broad side, west:  
And, on the eastside of your shop, aloft,  
Write Mathlai, Tarmiel, and Baraborat;  
Upon the north-part, Rael, Velel, Thiel.  
They are the names of those Mercurial spirits,  
That do fright flies from boxes.  DRU. 
Yes, sir.  Sub. 
And  
Beneath your threshold, bury me a loadstone  
To draw in gallants, that wear spurs: The rest,  
They'll seem to follow.  FAC. 
That's a secret NAB!  Sub. 
And, on your stall, a puppet, with a vice,  
And a court-fucus, to call city-dames.  
You shall deal much, with minerals.  DRU. 
Sir, I have,  
At home, already—  Sub. 
I, I know, you've arsnike,  
Vitriol, sal-tartre, argaile, alkaly,  
Cinoper: I know all. This fellow, Captain,  
Will come, in time, to be a great distiller,  
And give a say (I will not say directly,  
But very fair) at the philosophers' stone.  FAC. 
Why, how now, ABEL! Is this true?  DRU. 
Good Captain,  
What must I give?  FAC. 
Nay, I'll not counsel thee.  
Thou hearst, what wealth (he says, spend what thou canst)  
thouart like to come too.  DRU. 
I would gi'him a crown.  FAC. 
A crown! and toward such a fortune? heart,  
Thou shalt rather gi'him thy shop. No gold about thee?  DRU. 
Yes, I have a portague, I ha' kept this half year.  FAC. 
Out on thee, NAB, 'Slight, there was such an offer—  
'Shalt keepeed no longer, I'll gi'it him for thee?  
Doctor, NAB prays your worship, to drink this: and swears  
He will appear more grateful, as your skill  
Does raise him in the world.  DRU. 
I would entreat  
Another favour of his worship.  FAC. 
What is't, NAB?  DRU. 
But, to look over, sir, my almanac,  
And cross out my ill-dayes, that I may neither  
Bargain, nor trust upon them.  FAC. 
That he shall, NAB.  
Leave it, it shall be done, 'gainst afternoon.  Sub. 
And a direction for his shelves.  FAC. 
Now, NAB?  
Art thou well pleased, NAB?  DRU. 
Thank, sir, both your worships.  FAC. 
Away.  
Why, now, you smoky persecuter of nature!  
Now, do you see, that some-thing's to be done,  
Beside your beech-coale, and your corrosive waters,  
Your crosse-lets, crucibles, and cucurbites?  
You must have stuff, brought home to you, to work on?  
And, yet, you think, I am at no expense,  
In searching out these veins, then following 'em,  
Then trying 'em out. 'Fore god, my intelligence  
Costs me more money, than my share oft comes too,  
In these rare works.  Sub. 
You're pleasant, sir. How now?   

Act I. Scene IIII. FACE, DOL, SUBTLE.  
WHat says, my dainty DOLKIN?  DOL 
Yonder fishwife  
Will not away. And there's your giantess,  
The bawd of Lambeth.  Sub. 
heart, I cannot speak with 'em.  DOL 
Not, afore night, I have told 'em, in a voice,  
Through the trunk, like one of your familiars.  
But I have spied sir EPICURE MAMMON ‐  Sub. 
Where?  DOL 
Coming along, at far end of the lane,  
Slow of his feet, but earnest of his tongue,  
To one, that's with him.  Sub. 
FACE, go you, and shift,  
DOL, you must presently make ready, too—  DOL 
Why, what's the matter?  Sub. 
O, I did look for him  
With the suns rising: 'Marvel, he could sleep!  
This is the day, I am to perfect for him  
The magisterium, our great work, the stone;  
And yield it, made, into his hands: of which,  
He has, this month, talked, as he were possess; d.  
And, now, he's dealing pieces on't, away.  
methinks, I see him, entering ordinaries,  
Dispensing for the pox; and plaguy-houses,  
Reaching his dose; walking Morefields for lepers;  
And offering citizens-wives pomander-bracelets,  
As his preservative, made of the elixir;  
Searching the spital, to make old bawds young;  
And the highways, for beggars, to make rich:  
I see no end of his labours. He will make  
Nature ashamed, of her long sleep: when art,  
Who's but a stepdame, shall do more, than she,  
In her best love to mankind, ever could.  
If his dream last, he'll turn the age, to gold.    


Act II. Scene I.  MAMMON, SVRLY. 
COme on, sir. Now, you set your foot on shore  
In novo orb; Here's the rich Peru:  
And there within, sir, are the golden mines,  
Great SALOMON'S Ophir! He was sailing to't,  
Three years, but we have reached it in ten months.  
This is the day, wherein, to all my friends,  
I will pronounce the happy word, be rich.  
This day, you shall be spectatissimi.  
You shall no more deal with the hollow die,  
Or the frail card. No more be at charge of keeping  
The livery-punk, for the young heir, that must  
Seal, at all hours, in his shirt. No more  
If he deny, ha' him beaten to't, as he is  
That brings him the commodity. No more  
Shall thirst of satin, or the covetous hunger  
Of velvet entrails, for a rude-spun cloak,  
To be displayed at Madame AUGUSTA'S, make  
The sons of sword, and hazard fall before  
The golden calf, and on their knees, whole nights,  
Commit idolatry with wine, and trumpets:  
Or go a feasting, after drum and ensign.  
No more of this. You shall start up young Viceroys,  
And have your punks, and punquettees, my SURLY.  
And unto thee, I speak it first, be rich. Within Sir.  
Where is my Subtle, there? Within hough?  
he'll come to you, by and by.  MAM. 
That's his fire-drake,  
His lungs, his Zephyrus, he that puffs his coals,  
Till he firk nature up, in her own centre.  
You are not faithful, sir. This night, I'll change  
All, that is metal, in thy house, to gold.  
And, early in the morning, will I send  
To all the plumbers, and the pewterers,  
And buy their tin, and lead up: and to Lothbury,  
For all the copper.  SVR. 
What, and turn that too?  MAM. 
Yes, and I'll purchase Devonshire, and Cornwall,  
And make them perfect Indies! You admire now?  SVR. 
No faith.  MAM. 
But when you see th'effects of the great medicine!  
Of which one part projected on a hundred  
Of mercury, or Venus, or the Moon,  
Shall turn it, to as many of the Sun;  
Nay, to a thousand, so ad infinitum:  
You will believe me.  SVR. 
Yes, when I see't, I will.  
But, if my eyes do cousin me so (and I  
Giving 'em no occasion) sure, I'll have  
A whore, shall piss 'em out, next day.  MAM. 
Ha! Why?  
Do you think, I fable with you? I assure you,  
He that has once the flower of the sun,  
The perfect ruby, which we call elixir,  
Not only can do that; but by it's virtue,  
Can confer honour, love, respect, long life,  
Give safety, valour: yea, and victory,  
To whom he will. In eight, and twenty days,  
I'll make an old man, of fourscore, a child.  SVR. 
No doubt, he's that already.  MAM. 
Nay, I mean,  
Restore his years, renew him, like an eagle,  
To the fifth age; make him get sons, and daughters,  
Young giants; as our Philosophers have done  
(The ancient Patriarchs afore the flood)  
But taking, once a week, on a knives point,  
The quantity of a grain of mustard, of it:  
Become stout Mars's, and beget young CUPIDS.  SVR. 
The decayed vestals of Pickt-hatch would thank you,  
That keep the fire alive, there.  MAM. 
'Tis the secret  
Of nature, naturized 'gainst all infections,  
Cures all diseases, coming of all causes,  
A month's grief, in a day; a years, in twelve:  
And, of what age soever, in a month.  
Past all the doses, of your drugging Doctors.  
I'll undertake, withal, to fright the plague  
Out o'the kingdom, in three months.  SVR. 
And I'll  
Be bound, the players shall sing your praises, then,  
Without their poets.  MAM. 
Sir, I'll do't. Mean time,  
I'll give away so much, unto my man,  
Shall serve th'whole city, with preservative,  
weekly, each house his dose, and at the rate—  SUR 
As he that built the waterwork, does with water?  MAM. 
You are incredulous.  SUR 
Faith, I have a humour,  
I would not willingly be gulled. Your stone  
Cannot transmute me.  MAM. 
PERTINAX, SURLY,  
Will you believe antiquity? records?  
I'll show you a book, where MOSES, and his sister,  
And SOLOMON have written, of the art;  
I, and a treatise penned by ADAM.  SUR 
How!  MAM. 
O'the Philosophers stone, and in high-Dutch.  SUR 
Did ADAM write, sir, in high-Dutch?  MAM. 
He did:  
Which proves it was the primitive tongue.  SUR 
What paper?  MAM. 
On cedar board.  SUR 
O that, indeed (they say)  
Will last 'gainst worms.  MAM. 
'Tis like your Irishwood,  
'Gainst cobwebs. I have a piece of jasons fleece, too,  
Which was no other, than a book of alchemy,  
Writ in large sheepskin, a good fat ram-vellam.  
Such was PYTHAGORA'S thigh, PANDORA's tub;  
And, all that fable of MEDEA'S charms,  
The manner of our work: The Bulls, our furnace,  
Still breathing fire; our argent-vive, the Dragon:  
The Dragon's teeth, mercury sublimate,  
That keeps the whiteness, hardness, and the biting;  
And they are gathered, into IASON's helm,  
(Th'alembic) and then sowed in MARS his field,  
And, thence, sublimed so often, till they are fixed.  
Both this, th'Hesperian garden, CADMUS story,  
jove's shower, the boon of MIDAS, ARGUS eyes,  
BOCCACE his Demogorgon, thousands more,  
All abstract riddles of our stone. How now?   

Act TWO Scene TWO  MAMMON, FACE, SURLY. 
Do we succeed? Is our day come? and holds it?  FAC. 
The evening will set red, upon you, sir;  
You have colour for it, crimson: the red ferment  
Has done his office. Three hours hence, prepare you  
To see projection.  MAM. 
PERTINAX, my SURLY,  
Again, I say to thee, aloud, be rich.  
This day, thou shalt have ingots: and tomorrow,  
Give lords th'affront. Is it, my ZEPHYRUS, right?  
Blushes the bolts-head?  FAC. 
Like a wench with child, sir,  
That were, but now, discovered to her master.  MAM. 
Excellent witty Lungs! My only care is,  
Where to get stuff, enough now, to project on,  
This town will not half serve me.  FAC. 
No, sir? Buy  
The covering of o' churches.  MAM. 
That's true.  FAC. 
Yes.  
Let 'em stand bare, as do their auditory.  
Or cap 'em, new, with shingles.  MAM. 
No, good thatch:  
Thatch will lie light upo' the rafters, Lungs.  
Lungs, I will manumit thee, from the furnace;  
I will restore thee thy complexion, Puff,  
Lost in the embers; and repair this brain,  
Hurt wi' the fume o' the metals.  FAC. 
I have blown, sir,  
Hard, for your woship; thrown by many a coal,  
When 'twas not beech; weighed those I put in, just,  
To keep your heat, still even; These bleared-eyes  
Have waked, to read i' several colours, sir,  
Of the pale citron, the green lion, the crow,  
The peacocks tail, the plumed swan.  MAM. 
And, lastly,  
Thou hast descried the flower, the sanguis agni?  FAC. 
Yes, sir.  MAM. 
Where's master?  FAC. 
At's prayers, sir, he,  
Good man, he's doing his devotions,  
For the success.  MAM. 
Lungs, I will set a period,  
To all thy labours: Thou shalt be the master  
Of my seraglias.  FAC. 
Good, sir.  MAM. 
But do you hear?  
I'll geld you, Lungs.  FAC. 
Yes, sir.  MAM. 
For I do mean  
To have a list of wives, and concubines,  
Equal with SALOMON; who had the stone  
Alike, with me: and I will make me, a back  
With the elixir, that shall be as tough  
As HERCULES, to encounter fifty a night.  
thouart sure, thou sawst it blood?  FAC. 
Both blood, and spirit, sir.  MAM. 
I will have all my beds, blown up; not stuffed:  
down is too hard. And then, mine oval room,  
Filled with such pictures, as TIBERIUS took  
From ELEPHANTIS: and dull ARETINE  
But coldly imitated. Then, my glasses,  
Cut in more subtle angles, to disperse,  
And multiply the figures, as I walk  
Naked between my succubae. My mists  
I'll have of perfume, vapoured 'bout the room,  
To lose ourselves in; and my baths, like pits  
To fall into: from whence, we will come forth,  
And roll us dry in gossamour, and roses.  
(Is it arrived at ruby?)— Where I spy  
A wealthy citizen, or rich lawyer,  
Have a sublimed pure wife, unto that fellow  
I'll send a thousand pound, to be my cuckold.  FAC. 
And I shall carry it?  MAM. 
No. I'll ha' no bawds,  
But fathers, and mothers. They will do it best.  
Best of all others. And, my flatterers  
Shall be the pure, and gravest of Divines,  
That I can get for money. My mere fools,  
Eloquent burgesses, and then my poets  
The same that writ so subtly of the fart,  
Whom I will entertain, still, for that subject.  
The few, that would give out themselves, to be  
Court, and town-stallions, and, each where, belie  
Ladies, who are known most innocent, for them;  
Those will I beg, to make me eunuchs of:  
And they shall fan me with ten ostrich tails  
A piece, made in a plume, to gather wind.  
We will be brave, Puff, now we ha' the medicine.  
My meat, shall all come in, in Indian shells,  
Dishes of agate, set in gold, and studded,  
With emeralds, sapphires, hyacinths, and rubies.  
The tongues of carps, dormice, and camels heels,  
Boiled i'the spirit of SOL, and dissolved pearl,  
(APICIUS diet, 'gainst the epilepsy)  
And I will eat these broths, with spoons of amber,  
Headed with diamant, and carbuncle.  
My footboy shall eat pheasants, calvered salmons,  
Knots, godwits, lampreys: I myself will have  
The beards of barbels, served, in stead of salads;  
Oiled muhrooms; and the swelling unctuous paps  
Of a fat pregnant sow, newly cut off,  
Dressed with an exquisite, and poignant sauce;  
For which, I'll say unto my cook, there's gold,  
Go forth, and be a knight.  FAC. 
Sir, I'll go look  
A little, how it heightens.  MAM. 
Do. My shirts  
I'll have of taffata-sarsnet, soft, and light  
As cobwebs; and for all my other raiment  
It shall be such, as might provoke the Persian;  
Were he to teach the world riot, a new.  
My gloves of fishes, and birds-skins, perfumed  
With gums of paradise, and eastern air—  SVR. 
And doyou think to have the stone, with this?  MAM. 
No, I do think, t'have all this, with the stone.  SVR. 
Why, I have heard, he must be homo frugi,  
A pious, holy, and religious man,  
One free from mortal sin, a very virgin.  MAM. 
That makes it, sir, he is so. But I buy it.  
My venture brings it me. He, honest wretch,  
A notable, superstitious, good soul,  
Has worn his knees bare, and his slippers bald,  
With prayer, and fasting for it: and, sir, let him  
doit alone, for me, still. Here he comes,  
Not a profane word, afore him: 'Tis poison.   

Act II. Scene III.  MAMMON, Subtle, SVRLY, FACE. 
GOod morrow, father.  SVB. 
Gentle son, good morrow,  
And, to your friend, there. What is he, is with you?  MAM. 
An heretic, that I did bring along,  
In hope, sir, to convert him.  SVB. 
Son, I doubt  
You're covetous, that thus you meet your time  
I'the just point: prevent your day, at morning.  
This argues something, worthy of a fear  
Of importune, and carnal appetite.  
Take heed, you do not cause the blessing leave you,  
With your ungoverned haste. I should be sorry,  
To see my labours, now, e'en at perfection,  
Got by long watching, and large patience,  
Not prosper, where my love, and zeal hath placed 'em.  
Which (heaven I call to witness, with yourself,  
To whom, I have poured my thoughts) in all my ends,  
Have looked no way, but unto public good,  
To pious uses, and dear charity,  
No grown a prodigy with men. Wherein  
If you, my son, should now prevaricate,  
And, to your own particular lusts, employ  
So great, and catholic a bliss: be sure,  
A curse will follow, yea, and overtake  
Your subtle, and most secret ways.  MAM. 
I know, sir,  
You shall not need to fear me. I but come,  
To ha'you confute this gentleman.  SVR. 
Who is,  
Indeed, sir, somewhat caustive of belief  
Toward your stone: would not be gulled.  SVB. 
Well, son,  
All that I can convince him in, is this,  
The work is done: Bright SOL is in his rob.  
We have a medicine of the triple Soul,  
The glorified spirit. Thanks be to heaven,  
And make us worthy of it. Ulenspiegel.  FAC. 
anon, sir.  SVB. 
Look well to the register,  
And let your heat, still, lessen by degrees,  
To the Aludels.  FAC. 
Yes, sir.  Sub. 
Did you look  
O'the Bolts-head yet?  FAC. 
Which on D. sir?  Sub. 
I,  
What's the complexion?  FAC. 
Whitish.  Sub. 
Infuse vinegar,  
To draw his volatile substance, and his tincture:  
And let the water in Glass E. be feltered,  
And put into the Gripes egg. Lute him well;  
And leave him closed in balneo.  FAC. 
I will, sir.  SUR 
What a brave language here is? next to canting?  Sub. 
I'have another work; you never saw, son,  
That, three days since, past the Philosopher's wheel,  
In the lent heat of Athanor; and's become  
Sulphur o'nature.  MAM. 
But 'tis for me?  Sub. 
What need you?  
You have enough, in that is, perfect.  MAM. 
O, but—  Sub. 
Why, this is covetise!  MAM. 
No, I assure you,  
I shall employ it all, in pious uses,  
Founding of colleges, and grammar schools,  
Marrying young virgins, building hospitals,  
And now, and then, a church.  Sub. 
How now?  FAC. 
Sir, please you,  
Shall I not change the filter?  Sub. 
Marry, yes.  
And bring me the complexion of Glass B.  MAM. 
Ha' you another?  Sub. 
Yes, son, were I assured  
Your piety were firm, we would not want  
The means to glorify it. But I hope the best:  
I mean to tinct C. in sand-heat, tomorrow,  
And give him imhibition.  MAM. 
Of white oil?  Sub. 
No, sir, of red. F. is come over the helm too,  
I thank my Maker, in S. MARY'S bath,  
And shows lac Virgins. Blessed be heaven.  
I sent you of his faeces there, calcined.  
Out of that calx, I' ha' won the salt of MERCURY.  MAM. 
By pouring on your rectified water?  Sub. 
Yes, and reverberating in Athanor.  
How now? What colour says it?  FAC. 
The ground black, sir.  MAM. 
That's you crowes-head?  SUR 
Your cocks-comb's, is't not?  Sub. 
No, 'tis not perfect, would it were the crow.  
That work wants something.  SUR 
(O, I looked for this.  
The hay is a pitching.)  Sub. 
Are you sure, you loosed 'em  
I' their own menstrue?  FAC. 
Yes, sir, and then married 'em,  
And put 'em in a Bolts-head, nipped to digestion,  
According as you bade me; when I set  
The liquour of MARS to circulation,  
In the same heat.  Sub. 
The process, then, was right.  FAC. 
Yes, by the token, sir, the Retort broke,  
And what was saved, was put into the Pelican,  
And signed with HERMES seal.  Sub. 
I think 'twas so.  
We should have a new amalgama.  SUR 
(O, this ferret  
Is rank as any polecat.)  Sub. 
But I care not.  
Let him e'en die; we have enough beside,  
In embryon. H has his white shirt on?  FAC. 
Yes, sir,  
he's ripe for inceration: He stands warm,  
In his ash-fire. I would not, you should let  
Any die now, if I might counsel, sir,  
For luck's sake to the rest. It is not good.  MAM. 
He says right.  SUR 
I, are you bolted?  FAC. 
Nay, I know't, sir,  
I've seen th'ill fortune. What is some three ounces  
Of fresh materials?  MAM. 
Is't no more?  FAC. 
No more, sir,  
Of gold, t'amalgamet'amalgame, with some six of Mercury.  MAM. 
Away, here's money. What will serve?  FAC. 
Ask him, sir.  MAM. 
How much?  Sub. 
Give him nine pound: you may gi'him ten.  SUR 
Yes, twenty, and be cozened, do.  MAM. 
There 'tis.  Sub. 
This needs not. But that you will have it, so,  
To see conclusions of all. For two  
Of our inferior works, are at fixation.  
A third is in ascension. Go your ways.  
Ha' you set the oil of Luna in kemia?  FAC. 
Yes, sir.  Sub. 
And the philosophers vinegar?  FAC. 
I.  SUR 
We shall have a salad.  MAM. 
When do you make projection?  Sub. 
Son, be no hasty, I exalt our medicine,  
By hanging him in balneo vaporoso;  
And giving him solution; then congeal him;  
And then dissolve him; then again congeal him;  
For look, how oft I iterate the work,  
So many times, I add unto his virtue.  
As, if at first, one ounce convert a hundred,  
After his second lose, he'll turn a thousand;  
His third solution, ten; his fourth, a hundred.  
After his fifth, a thousand thousand ounces  
Of any imperfect metal, into pure  
Silver, or gold, in all examinations,  
As good, as any of the natural mine.  
Get you your stuff here, against afternoon,  
Your brass, your pewter, and your andirons.  MAM. 
Not those of iron:  Sub. 
Yes. You may bring them, too.  
we'll change all metals.  SUR 
I believe you, in that.  MAM. 
Then I may send my spits?  Sub. 
Yes, and your racks.  SUR 
And dripping-pans, and pot-hangers, and hooks?  
Shall he not?  Sub. 
If he please.  SUR 
To be an ass.  Sub. 
How, sir!  MAM. 
This gentleman, you must bear withal.  
I told you, he had no faith.  SUR 
And little hope, sir,  
But much less charity, should I gull myself.  SVB. 
Why, what have you observed, sir, in our art,  
Seems so impossible?  SVR. 
But your whole work, no more.  
That you should hatch gold in a furnace, sir,  
As they do eggs, in Egypt!  SVB. 
Sir, do you  
Believe that eggs are hatched so?  SVR. 
If I should?  SVB. 
Why, I think that the greater miracle.  
No egg, but differs from a chicken, more,  
Than metals in themselves.  SVR. 
That cannot be.  
The egg's ordained by nature, to that end:  
And is a chicken in potentia.  SVB. 
The same we say of lead, and other metals,  
Which would be gold, if they had time.  MAM. 
And that  
Our art doth further.  SVB. 
ay, for 'twere absurd  
To think that nature, in the earth, bred gold  
Perfect, i' the instant. Something went before.  
There must be remote matter.  SVR. 
ay, what is that?  SVB. 
marry, we say—  MAM. 
ay, now it heats: stand Father.  
Pound him to dust—  SVB. 
It is, of the one part,  
A humid exhalation, which we call  
Materia liquida, or the unctuous water;  
On th'other part, a certain crass, and viscous  
Portion of earth; both which, concorporate,  
Do make the elementary matter of gold:  
Which is not, yet, propria materia,  
But common to all metals, and all stones.  
For, where it is forsaken of that moisture,  
And hath more dryness, it becomes a stone;  
Where it retains more of the humid fatness,  
It turns to sulphur, or to quicksilver:  
Who are the parents of all other metals.  
Nor can this remote matter, suddenly,  
Progress so from extreme, unto extreme,  
As to grow gold, and leap over all the means.  
Nature doth, first, beget th'imperfect; then  
Proceeds she to the perfect. Of that airy,  
And oily water, mercury is engendered;  
Sulphur o'the fat, and earthy part: the one  
(Which is the last) supplying the place of male,  
The other of the female, in all metals.  
Some do believe hermaphrodeity,  
That both do act, and suffer. But, these two  
Make the rest ductile, malleable, extensive.  
And, even in gold, they are; for we do find  
Seeds of them, by our fire, and gold in them:  
And can produce the species of each metal  
More perfect thence, than nature doth in earth.  
Beside, who doth not see, in daily practice,  
Art can beget bees, hornets, beetles, wasps,  
Out of the carcases, and dung of creatures;  
Yea, scorpions, of an herb, being rightly placed:  
And these are living creatures, far more perfect,  
And excellent, than metals.  MAM. 
Well said, father!  
Nay, if he take you in hand, sir, with an argument,  
he'll bray you in a mortar.  SVR. 
Pray you, sir, stay.  
Rather, then I'll be brayed, sir, I'll believe,  
That Alchemy is a pretty kind of game,  
Somewhat like tricks o' the cards, to cheat a man,  
With charming.  SVB. 
Sir?  SVR. 
What else are all your terms,  
Whereon no one o'your writers 'grees with other?  
Of your elixir, your lac virgins,  
Your stone, your medicine, and your chrysosperm,  
Your sal, your sulphur, and your mercury,  
Your oil of height, your tree of life, your blood,  
Your marchesite, your tutie, your magnesia,  
Your toad, your crow, your dragon, and your panther,  
Your sun, your moon, your firmament, your adrop,  
Your lato, azoch, zernich, chibrit, heautarit,  
And then, your red man, and your white woman,  
With all your broths, your menstrues, and materials,  
Of piss, and eggshells, women's terms, man's blood,  
Hair o'the head, burned clouts, chalk, merds, and clay,  
powder of bones, scalings of iron, glass,  
And worlds of other strange ingredients,  
Would burst a man to name?  SVB. 
And all these, named,  
Intending but one thing: which art our writers  
Used to obscure their art.  MAM. 
Sir, so I told him,  
Because the simple idiot should not learn it,  
And make it vulgar.  SVB. 
Was not all the knowledge  
Of the Egyptians writ in mystic symbols?  
Speak not the Scriptures, oft, in parables?  
Are not the choicest fables of the Poets,  
That were the fountains, and first springs of wisdom,  
Wrapped in perplexed allegories?  MAM. 
I urged that,  
And cleared to him, that Sisyphus was damned  
To roll the ceaseless stone, only, because  
He would have made ours common. Dol is seen. Who is this?  SVB. 
God's precious— What do you mean? Go in, good lady,  
Let me entreat you. Where's this varlet?  FAC. 
Sir?  SVB. 
You very knave! do you use me, thus?  FAC. 
Wherein, sir?  Sub. 
Go in, and see, you traitor. Go.  MAM. 
Who is it, sir?  Sub. 
Nothing, sir. Nothing.  MAM. 
What's the matter? good, sir!  
I have not seen you thus distempered. Who is't?  Sub. 
All arts have still had, sir, their adversaries,  
But ours the most ignorant. What now?  FAC. 
'Twas not my fault, sir, she would speak with you.  Sub. 
Would she, sir? Fellow me.  MAM. 
Stay, Lungs.  FAC. 
I dare not, sir.  MAM. 
How! Pray thee stay?  FAC. 
She's mad, sir, and sent hither—  MAM. 
Stay man, what is she?  FAC. 
A lords sister, sir.  
(he'll be mad too.  MAM. 
I warrant thee.) Why sent hither?  FAC. 
Sir, to be cured.  Sub. 
Why, rascal!  FAC. 
Lo you. Here, sir.  MAM. 
'Fore-god, a BRADAMANTE, a brave piece.  SUR 
heart, this is a bawdy-house! I'll be burnt else.  MAM. 
O, by this light, no. Do not wrong him. he's  
Too scrulous, that way. It is his vice.  
No, he's a rare physician, do him right.  
An excellent Paracelsian! and has done  
Strange cures with mineral physic. He deals all  
With spirits, he. He will not hear a word  
Of GALEN, or his tedious recipes.  
How now, Lungs!  FAC. 
Softly, sir, speak softly. I meant  
To ha' told your worship all. This must not hear.  MAM. 
No, he will not be gulled; let him alone.  FAC. 
You're very right, sir, she is a most rare scholar;  
And is gone mad, with studying BRAUGHTONS' works.  
If you but name a word, touching the Hebrew,  
She falls into her fit, and will discourse  
So learnedly of genealogies,  
As you would run mad, too, to hear her, sir.  MAM. 
How might one do t'have conference with her, Lungs?  FAC. 
O, divers have run mad upon the conference.  
I do not know, sir: I am sent in haste,  
To fetch a viol.  SUR 
Be not gulled, sir MAMMON.  MAM. 
Wherein? Pray ye, be patient.  SUR 
Yes, as you are.  
And trust confederate knaves, and bawds, and whores.  MAM. 
You are too foul, believe it. Come, here, Ulen.  
One word.  FAC. 
I dare not, in good faith.  MAM. 
Stay, knave.  FAC. 
he's extreme angry, that you saw her, sir.  MAM. 
Drink that. What is she, when she's out of her fit?  FAC. 
O, the most affablest creature, sir! so merry!  
So pleasant! she'll mount you up, like quicksilver,  
Over the helm; and circulate, like oil,  
A very vegetal: discourse of state,  
Of mathematics, bawdry, any thing—  MAM. 
Is she no way accessible? no means,  
No trick, to give a man a taste of her— wit—  
Or so?— Ulen.  FAC. 
I'll come to you again, sir.  MAM. 
SURLY, I did not think, one o' your breeding  
Would traduce personages of worth.  SUR 
Sir EPICURE,  
Your friend to use: yet still, loath to be gulled.  
I do not like your philosophical bawds.  
Their stone is lechery enough, to pay for,  
Without this bait.  MAM. 
'Hart, you abuse yourself.  
I know the lady, and her friends, and means,  
The original of this disaster. Her brother  
H'as told me all.  SUR 
And yet, you ne'er saw her  
Till now?  MAM. 
O, yes, but I forgot. I have (believe it)  
One o' the trecherou'st memories, I do think,  
Of all mankind.  Sub. 
What call you her, brother?  MAM. 
My lord—  
He wi' not have his name known, now I think on 't.  SUR 
A very treacherous memory!  MAM. 
O' my faith—  SUR 
Tut, if you ha' it not about you, pass it,  
Till we meet next.  MAM. 
Nay, by this hand, 't is true.  
he's one I honour, and my noble friend,  
And I respect his house.  SUR 
Heart! can it be,  
That a grave sir, a rich, that has no need,  
A wife sir, too, at other times, should thus  
With his own oaths, and arguments, make hard means  
To gull himself? And, this be your elixir,  
Your lapis mineralis, and your lunary,  
Give me your honest trick, yet, at primero,  
Or gleek; and take your lutum sapientis,  
Your menstruum simplex: I'll have gold, before you,  
And, with less danger of the quicksilver;  
Or the hot sulphur.  FAC. 
Here's one from Captain FACE, sir,  
Desires you meet him i' the Temple-church,  
Some half hour hence, and upon earnest business.  
SIr, if you please to quit us, now; and come,  
Again, within two hours: you shall have  
My master busy examining o' the works;  
and I will steal you in, unto the party,  
That you may see her converse. Sir, shall I say,  
You'll meet the captains worship?  SUR 
Sir, I will.  
But, by attorney, and to a second purpose.  
Now, I am sure, it is a bawdy-house;  
I'll swear it, were the Marshal here, to thank me:  
The naming this Commander, doth confirm it.  
Don FACE! Why, h' is the most authentic dealer  
I' these commodities! The superintendant  
To all, the queinter traffickers, in town.  
He is their visitor, and does appoint  
Who lies with whom; and at what hour; what price;  
Which gown; and in what smock; what fall; what tire.  
Him, will I prove, by a third person, to find  
The subtleties of this dark labyrinth:  
Which, if I do discover, dear sir MAMMON,  
You'll give your poor friend leave, though no Philosopher,  
To laugh: for you that are, 'tis thought, shall weep.  FAC. 
Sir. He does pray, you'll not forget.  SVR. 
I will not, sir.  
Sir EPICURE, I shall leave you?  MAM. 
I follow you, straight.  FAC. 
But do so, good sir, to avoid suspicion.  
This gent'man has a parlous head.  MAM. 
But wilt thou, Ulen,  
Be constant to thy promise?  FAC. 
As my life, sir.  MAM. 
And wilt thou insinuate what I am? and praise me?  
And say I am a noble fellow?  FAC. 
O, what else, sir?  
And, that you'll make her royal; with the stone,  
An Empress; and yourself king of Bantam.  MAM. 
Wilt thou do this?  FAC. 
Will I, sir?  MAM. 
Lungs, my Lungs!  
I love thee.  FAC. 
Send your stuff, sir, that my master  
May busy himself, about projection.  MAM. 
Thou'st witched me, rogue: Take, go.  FAC. 
Your jack, & all, sir.  MAM. 
Thou art a villain— I will send my jack;  
And the weights too. Slave, I could bite thine ear.  
Away, thou dost not care for me.  FAC. 
Not I, sir?  MAM. 
Come, I was borne to make thee, my good weasel;  
Set thee on a bench: and, ha' thee twirl a chain  
With the best lords vermin, of'em all.  FAC. 
Away, sir.  MAM. 
A Count, nay, a Count-palatine—  FAC. 
Good sir, go.  MAM. 
Shall not advance thee, better: no, nor faster.   

Act II. Scene IIII.  Subtle, FACE, DOL. 
HAs he bit? Has he bit?  FAC. 
And swallowed too, my Subtle.  
I ha' given him line, and now he plays, i'faith.  SVB. 
And shall we twitch him?  FAC. 
through both the gills.  
A wench is a rare bait, with which a man  
No soon's taken, but he straight firks mad.  SVB. 
DOL, my lord Wha'ts'hum's sister, you must now  
Bear yourself statelike.  DOL. 
O, let me alone.  
I'll not forget my race, I warrant you.  
I'll keep my distance, laugh, and talk aloud;  
Have all the tricks of a proud scurvy lady,  
And be as rude as her woman.  FAC. 
Well said, Sanguine.  SVB. 
But will he send his andirons?  FAC. 
His jack too;  
And's iron shooing-horn: I ha' spoke to him. Well,  
I must not lose my wary gamester, yonder.  SVB. 
O Monsieur Caution, that will not be gulled?  FAC. 
ay, if I can strike a fine hook into him, now,  
The Temple-church, there I have cast mine angle.  
Well, pray for me. I'll about it.  SVB. 
What, One knock. more gudgeons!  
DOL, scout, scout; stay FACE, you must go to the door:  
Pray god, it be my Anabaptist. Who is't, DOL?  DOL. 
I know him not. He looks like a gold-end-man.  SVB. 
God's so! 'tis he, he said he would send. What call you him?  
The sanctified Elder, that should deal  
For Mammon's jack, and andirons! Let him in.  
Stay, help me of, first, with my gown. Away  
madam, to your withdrawing chamber. Now,  
In a new tune, new gesture, but old language.  
This fellow is sent, from one negotiates with me  
About the stone, too; for the holy Brethren  
Of Amsterdam, the exiled Saints: that hope  
To raise their discipline, by it. I must use him  
In some strange fashion, now, to make him admire me.   

Act II. Scene V.  Subtle, FACE, ANANIAS. 
WHere is my drudge?  FAC. 
Sir.  SVB. 
Take away the recipient,  
And rectify your menstrue, from the phlegma.  
Then power it, o'the Sol, in the cucurbite,  
And let 'em macerate, together.  FAC. 
Yes, sir.  
And save the ground?  SVB. 
No. Terra damnata  
Must not have entrance, in the work. Who are you?  ANA. 
A faithful Brother, if it please you.  SVB. 
What's that?  
A Lullianist? a Ripley? Filius artis?  
Can you sublime, and dulcify? calcine?  
Know you the sapour pontic? sapour slipstick?  
Or, what is homogene, or heterogene?  ANA. 
I understand no heathen language, truly.  SVB. 
Heathen, you KNIPPER-DOLING? Is Ars sacra,  
Or Chrysopoeia, or Spagirica,  
Or the pamphysic, or panarchic knowledge,  
A heathen language?  ANA. 
Heathen Greek, I take it.  SVB. 
How? heathen Greek?  ANA. 
All's heathen, but the Hebrew.  SVB. 
Sirrah, my varlet, stand you forth, and speak to him  
Like a Philosopher: Answer, i'the language.  
Name the vexations, and the martyrizations  
Of metals, in the work.  FAC. 
Sir, Putrefaction,  
Solution, Ablution, Sublimation,  
Cohobations, Calcination, Ceration, and  
Fixation.  Sub. 
This is heathen Greek, to you, now?  
And when comes Vivification?  FAC. 
After Mortification.  Sub. 
What's Cohobation?  FAC. 
'T is the pouring on  
Your Aqua Regis, and then drawing him off,  
To the trine circle of the seven spheres.  Sub. 
What's the proper passion of metals?  FAC. 
Malleation.  Sub. 
What's your ultimum supplicium auri?  FAC. 
Antimonium.  Sub. 
This's heathen Greeke, to you? And, what's your Mercury?  FAC. 
A very fugitive, he will be gone, sir.  Sub. 
How know you him?  FAC. 
By his viscosity,  
His oleositie, and his suscitabilitie.  Sub. 
How do you sublime him?  FAC. 
With the calce of egge-shels,  
White marble, talc.  Sub. 
Your magisterium, now?  
What's that?  FAC. 
Shifting, sir, your elements,  
Dry into cold, cold into moist, moist in to hot, hot into dry.  Sub. 
This's heathen Greeke to you, still?  
Your lapis philosophicus?  FAC. 
'Tis a stone, and not  
A stone; a spirit, a soul, and a body:  
Which, if you do dissolve, it is dissolved,  
If you coagulate, it is coagulated,  
If you make it to fly, it flieth.  Sub. 
Enough.  
This's heathen Greeke, to you? What are you, sir?  ANA 
Please you, a servant of the exiled Brethren,  
That deal with widows, and with orphans goods;  
And make it a just account, unto the Saints:  
A Deacon.  Sub. 
O, you are sent from master WHOLESOME,  
Your teacher?  ANA 
From TRIBULATION WHOLESOME,  
Our very zealous Pastor.  Sub. 
Good. I have  
Some orphans goods to come here.  ANA 
Of what kind, sir?  Sub. 
Pewter, and brass, andirons, and kitchen ware,  
Metals, that we must use our medicine on:  
Wherein the Brethren may have a pennyworth.  
For ready money.  ANA 
Were the orphans parents  
Sincere professors?  Sub. 
Why do you ask?  ANA 
Because  
We then are to deal justly, and give (in truth)  
Their utomost value.  Sub. 
"'Slid, you'd cousin, else,  
And, if their parents were not of the faithful?  
I will not trust you, now I think on't,  
Till I ha' talked with your Pastor. Ha' you brought money  
To buy more coals?  ANA 
No, surely.  Sub. 
No? How so?  ANA 
The Brethren bid me say unto you, sir.  
Surely, they will not venture any more,  
Till they may see . projection.  Sub. 
How!  ANA 
You've had,  
For the instruments, as bricks, and lome, and glasses,  
Already thirty pound; and, for materials,  
They say, some ninety more: And, they have heard, since,  
That oe, at Heidelberg, made it, of an egg,  
And a small paper of pin-dust.  Sub. 
What's your name?  ANA 
My name is ANANIAS.  Sub. 
Out, the varlet  
That cozened the Apostles! Hence, away,  
Flee Mischief; had your holy Consistory  
No name to send me, of another sound;  
Then wicked ANANIAS? Send your Elders,  
Hither, to make atonement for you, quickly.  
And gi'me satisfaction; or outgoes  
The fire: and down th'alembekesalembics, and the furnace.  
Piger Henricus, or what not. Thou wretch,  
Both Sericon, and Bufo, shall be lost,  
Tell 'em. All hope of rooting out the Bishops,  
Or th' Antichristian Hierarchy shall perish,  
If they stay threescore minutes. The Aqueitie,  
Terrestie, and Sulphureitie  
Shall run together again, an all be annulled  
Thou wicked ANANIAS. This will fetch 'em,  
And make 'em haste towards their gulling more.  
A man must deal like a rough nurse, and fright  
Those, that are froward, to an appetite.   

Act TWO Scene VI  
FACE, SUBTLE, DRUGGER.  
he's busy with his spirits, but we'll upon him.  Sub. 
How now! What mates? What Bairards' ha' we here?  FAC. 
I told you, he would be furious. Sir, here's NAB,  
Has brought yo' another old piece of gold, to look on:  
(We must appease him. Give it me) and prays you,  
You would devise (what is it NAB?)  DRU. 
A sign, sir.  FAC. 
I, a good lucky one, a thriving sign, Doctor.  Sub. 
I was devising now.  FAC. 
('Slight, do not say so,  
He will repent he give you any more.)  
What say you to his constellation, Doctor?  
The Balance?  Sub. 
Not, that way is stolen, and common.  
A townsman, borne in Taurus, gives the bull  
Or the bulls-head: in Aries, the ram.  
A poor device. No, I will have his name Formed in some mystic character; whose radij,  
Striking the senses of the passers by,  
Shall, by a virtual influence, breed affections,  
That may result upon the party owns it:  
As thus—  FAC. 
NAB!  SVB. 
He first shall have a bell, that's ABEL;  
And, by it, standing one, whose name is d'ee,  
In a rug gown; there's D. and Rug, that's DRUG:  
And, right anent him, a Dog snarling Er;  
There's DRUGGER, ABEL DRUGGER. That's his sign.  
And here's now mystery, and hieroglyphic!  FAC. 
ABEL, thou art made.  DRV. 
Sir, I do thank his worship.  FAC. 
six o'thy legs more, will not do it, NAB.  
He has brought you a pipe of tobacco, Doctor.  DRV. 
Yes, sir:  
I have another thing, I would impart—  FAC. 
Out with it, NAB.  DRV. 
Sir, there is lodged, hard by me,  
A rich young widow—  FAC. 
Good! a bona roba?  DRV. 
But nineteen, at the most.  FAC. 
Very good, ABEL.  DRV. 
marry, she's not in fashion, yet; she wears  
A hood: but 't stands a cop.  FAC. 
No matter, ABEL.  DRV. 
And, I do, now and then give her a fucus—  FAC. 
What! dost thou deal, NAB?  SVB. 
I did tell you, Captain.  DRV. 
And physic too sometime, sir: for which she trusts me  
With all her mind. she's come up here, of purpose  
To learn the fashion.  FAC. 
Good (his match too!) on, NAB.  DRV. 
And she does strangely long to know her fortune.  FAC. 
God's lid, NAB, Send her to the Doctor, hither.  DRV. 
Yes, I have spoke to her of his worship, already:  
But she's afraid, it will be blown abroad  
And hurt her marriage.  FAC. 
Hurt it? 'Tis the way  
To heal it, if 'twere hurt; to make it more  
Followed, and sought: NAB, thou shalt tell her this.  
she'll be more known, more talked of, and your widows  
Are ne'er of any price till they be famous;  
Their honour is their multitude of suitors:  
Send her, it may be thy good fortune. What?  
Thou dost not know.  DRV. 
No, sir, she'll never marry  
Under a knight. Her brother has made a vow.  FAC. 
What, and dost thou despair, my little NAB,  
Knowing, what the Doctor has set down for thee,  
And, seeing so many, o'the city, dubbed?  
One glass o'thy water, with a Madame, I know,  
Will have it done,  NAB. 
What's her brother? a knight?  DRV. 
No, sir, a gentleman, newly warm in his land, sir,  
Scarce cold in his one and twenty; that does govern  
His sister, here: and is a man himself  
Of some three thousand a year, and is come up  
To learn to quarrel, and to live by his wits,  
And will go down again, and die i' the country.  FAC. 
How! to quarrel?  DRV. 
Yes, sir, to carry quarrels,  
As gallants do, and manage 'em, by line.  FAC. 
'Slid, NAB! The Doctor is the only man  
In Christendom for him. He has made a table,  
With Mathematical demonstrations,  
Touching the Art of quarrels. He will give him  
An instrument to quarrel by. Go, bring 'em, both:  
Him, and his sister. And, for thee, with her  
The Doctor haply may persuade. Go to.  
shalt give his worship, a new damask suit  
Upon the premises.  SVB. 
O, good Captain.  FAC. 
He shall,  
He is the honestest fellow, Doctor. Stay not,  
No offers, bring the damask, and the parties.  DRV. 
I'll try my power, sir.  FAC. 
And thy will too, NAB.  SVB. 
'Tis good tobacco this! What is't an ounce?  FAC. 
He'll send you a pound, Doctor.  SVB. 
O, no.  FAC. 
He will do't.  
It is the goodest soul. ABEL, about it.  
(Thou shalt know more anon. Away, be gone.)  
A miserable rogue, and lives with cheese,  
And has the worms. That was the cause indeed  
Why he came now. He dealt with me, in private,  
To get a medicine for'em.  SVB. 
And shall, sir. This works.  FAC. 
A wife, a wife, for one on'vs, my dear Subtle:  
we'll e'en draw lots, and he, that fails, shall have  
The more in goods, the other has in tail.  SVB. 
Rather the less. For she may be so light  
She may want grains.  FAC. 
ay, or be such a burden,  
A man would scarce endure her, for the whole.  SVB. 
Faith, best let's see her first, and then determine.  FAC. 
Content. But DOL must ha' no breath on't.  SVB. 
Mum.  
Away, you to your SURLY yonder, catch him.  FAC. 
Pray god, I ha' not staid too long.  SVB. 
I fear it.    


Act III. Scene I.  TRIBULATION, ANANIAS. 
THese chastisements are common to the Saints,  
And such rebukes we of the Separation  
Must bear, with willing shoulders, as the trials  
Sent forth, to tempt our frailties.  ANA. 
In pure zeal,  
I do not like the man: He is a heathen.  
And speaks the language of Canaan, truly.  TRI 
I think him a profane person, indeed.  ANA 
He bears  
The visible mark of the Beast, in his forehead.  
And for his Stone, it is a work of darkness,  
And, with Philisophie, blinds the eyes of man.  TRI 
Good Brother, we must bend unto all means,  
That may give furtherance, to the holy cause.  ANA 
Which his cannot: The sanctified cause  
Should have a sanctified course.  TRI 
Not always necessary.  
The children of perdition are oft-times,  
Made instruments even of the greatest works.  
Beside, we should give somewhat to man's nature,  
The place he lives in, still about the fire,  
And fume of metals, that intoxicate  
The brain of man, and make him prone to passion.  
Where have you greater Atheists, than your Cooks?  
Or more profane, or choleric than your Glasse-men?  
More Antichristian, than your Bell-founders?  
What makes the Devil so devilish, I would ask you,  
Satan, our common enemy, but his being  
Perpetually about the fire, and boiling  
Brimstone, and arsnike? We must give, I say,  
Unto the motives, and the stirrers up  
Of humours in the blood. It may be so.  
When as the work is done, the stone is made,  
This heat of his may turn into a zeal,  
And stand up for the beauteous discipline,  
Against the menstruous cloth, and rag of Rome.  
We must await his calling, and the coming  
Of the good spirit. You did fault, t'upbraid him  
With the brethren's blessing of Heidelberg, weighing  
What need we have, to hasten on the work,  
For the restoring of the silenced Saints,  
Which ne'er will be, but by the Philosopher's stone.  
And, so a learned Elder, one of Scotland,  
Assured me; Aurum potabile being  
The only medicine, for the civil Magistrate,  
T'incline him to a feeling of the cause:  
And must be daily used, in the disease.  ANA 
I have not edified more, truly, by man;  
Not, since the beautiful light, first, shone on me:  
And I am sad, my zeal hath so offended.  TRI 
Let us call on him, then.  ANA 
The motion's good,  
And of the spirit; I will knock first: Peace be within.   

Act III. Scene TWO  SUBTLE, TRIBULATION, ANANIAS. 
O, Are you come? 'Twas time. Your threescore minutes  
Were at the last thread, you see; and down had gone  
Furnus acediae, Turris circulatorius:  
Lembeke, Bolts-head, Retort, and Pelican  
Had all been cinders. Wicked ANANIAS!  TRI 
Sir, be appeased, he is come to humble  
Himself in spirit, and to ask your patience,  
If too mch zeal hath carried him, aside,  
From the due path.  Sub. 
This qualifies, most!  
Why, thus it should be now you understand.  
Have I discoursed so unto you, of our Stone?  
And, of the good that it shall bring your cause?  
show'd you, (beside the main of hiring forces  
Abroad, drawing the Hollanders, your friends,  
From th'Indies, to serve you, with all their fleet)  
That even the medicinal use shall make you a faction,  
And party in the realm? As, put the case,  
That some great man in state, he have the gout,  
Why, you but send three drops of your Elixir,  
You help him straight: there you have made a friend.  
Another has the palsy, or the dropsy,  
He take of your incombustible stuff,  
he's young again: there you have made a friend.  
A Lady, that is past the feat of body,  
though not of mind, and hath her face decayed  
Beyond all cure of paintings, you restore  
With the oil of Talek; there you have made a friend:  
And all her friends. A lord, that is a Leper,  
A knight, that has the bone-ache, or a squire  
That hath both these, you make 'em smooth, and sound,  
With a bare fricace of your medicine: still,  
You increase your friends.  TRI 
I, 'tis very pregnant.  SVB. 
And, then, the turning of this lawyer's pewter  
To plate, at Christmas—  ANA. 
Christ-tide, I pray you.  SVB. 
Yet, ANANIAS?  ANA. 
I have done.  SVB. 
Or changing  
His parcel guilt, to massy gold. You cannot  
But raise you friends. With all, to be of power  
To pay an army, in the field, to buy  
The king of France, out of his realms; or Spain;  
Out of his Indies: What can you not do,  
Against lords spiritual, or temporal,  
That shall oppone you?  TRI. 
Verily, 'tis true.  
We may be temporal lords, ourselves, I take it.  SVB. 
You may be any thing, and leave off to make  
Long-winded exercises: or suck up,  
Your ha, and hum, in a tune. I not deny,  
But such as are not graced, in a state,  
May, for their ends, be adverse in religion,  
And get a tune, to call the flock together:  
For (to say sooth) a tune does much, with women,  
And other phlegmatic people, it is your bell.  ANA. 
Bells are profane: a tune may be religious.  SVB. 
No warning with you? Then, farewell my patience.  
'Slight, it shall down: I will not be thus tortured.  TRI. 
I pray you, sir.  SVB. 
All shall perish. I have spoke it.  TRI. 
Let me find grace, sir, in your eyes; the man  
He stands corrected: neither did his zeal  
(But as yourself) allow a tune, somewhere.  
Which, now, being toward the stone, we shall not need.  SVB. 
No, nor your holy vizard, to win widows  
To give you legacies; or make zealous wives  
To rob their husbands, for the common cause:  
Nor take the start of bonds, broke but one day,  
And say, they were forfeited, by providence.  
Nor shall you need, o'ernight to eat huge meals,  
To celebrate your next days fast the better:  
The whilst the Brethren, and the Sisters, humbled,  
Abate the stiffness of the flesh. Nor cast  
Before your hungry hearers, scrupulous bones,  
As whether a Christian may hawk, or hunt;  
Or whether, Matrons, of the holy assembly,  
May lay their hair out, or wear doublets:  
Or have that idol Starch, about their linen.  ANA. 
It is, indeed, an idol.  TRI. 
Mind him not, sir.  
I do command thee, spirit (of zeal, but trouble)  
To peace within him. Pray you, sir, go on.  SVB. 
Nor shall you need to libel 'gainst the Prelates,  
And shorten so your ears, against the hearing  
Of the next wire-drawn grace. Nor, of necessity,  
Rail against plays, to please the Alderman,  
Whose daily custard you devour. Nor lie  
With zealous rage, till you are hoarse. Not one  
Of these so singular arts. Nor call yourselves,  
By names of TRIBULATION, PERSECUTION,  
RESTRAINT, LONG-PATIENCE, and such like, affected  
By the whole family, or wood of you,  
Only for glory, and to catch the ear  
Of the Disciple.  TRI. 
Truly, sir, they are  
Ways, that the godly Brethren have invented  
For propagation of the glorious cause,  
As very notable means, and whereby, also,  
Themselves grow soon, and profitably famous.  SVB. 
O, but the stone, all's idle to'it! nothing!  
The art of Angels, Nature's miracle,  
The divine secret, that doth fly in clouds,  
From east to west: and whose tradition  
Is not from men, but spirits.  ANA. 
I hate Traditions:  
I do not trust them—  TRI. 
Peace.  ANA. 
They are Popish, all.  
I will not peace. I will not—  TRI. 
ANANIAS.  ANA. 
Please the profane, to grieve the godly: I may not.  SVB. 
Well, ANANIAS, thou shalt overcome.  TRI. 
It is an ignorant zeal, that haunts him, sir.  
But truly, else, a very faithful Brother,  
A butcher: and a man, by revelation,  
That hath a competent knowledge of the truth.  SVB. 
Has he a competent sum, there, i' the bag,  
To buy the goods, within? I am made guardian,  
And must, for charity, and conscience sake,  
Now, see the most be made, for my poor orphan:  
Though I desire the Brethren, too, good gainers.  
There, they are, within. When you have viewed, & bought 'em,  
And ta'en the inventory of what they are,  
They are ready for projection; there's no more  
To do: cast on the medicine, so much silver  
As there is tin there, so much gold as brass,  
I'll gi'it you in, by weight.  TRI. 
But how long time,  
Sir, must the Saints expect, yet?  SVB. 
Let me see,  
How's the moon, now? Eight, nine, ten days hence  
He will be silver potate; then, three days,  
Before he citronise: some fifteen days,  
The Magisterium will be perfected.  ANA. 
About the second day, of the third week,  
In the ninth month?  SVB. 
Yes, my good ANANIAS.  TRI. 
What will the orphans goods arise to, think you?  SVB. 
Some hundred marks; as much as filled three cars,  
Unloaded now: you'll make six millions of 'em.  
But I must ha' more coals laid in.  TRI. 
How!  SVB. 
Another load,  
And then we ha' finished. We must now increase  
Our fire to ignis Arden's, we are passed  
Fimus equinus, Balnei, Cineris,  
And all those lenter heats. If the holy purse  
Should, with this draft, fall low, and that the Saints  
Do need a present sum, I have trick  
To melt the pewter, you shall buy now, instantly,  
And, with a tincture, make you as good Dutch collars,  
As any are in Holland.  TRI. 
Can you so?  SVB. 
ay, and shall bide the third examination.  ANA. 
It will be joyful tidings to the Brethren.  SVB. 
But you must carry it, secret.  TRI. 
ay, but stay,  
This act of coining, is it lawful?  ANA. 
Lawful?  
We know no Magistrate. Or, if we did,  
This's foreign coin.  SVB. 
It is no coining, sir.  
It is but casting.  TRI. 
Ha? you distinguish well.  
Casting of money may be lawful.  ANA. 
'Tis, sir.  TRI. 
Truly, I take it so.  SVB. 
There is no scruple,  
Sir, to be made of it; believe ANANIAS:  
This case of conscience he is studied in.  TRI. 
I'll make a question of it, to the Brethren.  ANA. 
The Brethren shall approve it lawful, doubt not.  
Where shall't be done?  SVB. 
For that we'll talk, anon.  
Knock without. There's some to speak with me. Go in, I pray you,  
And view the parcels. That's the inventory.  
I'll come to you straight. Who is it? FACE! Appear.   

Act III. Scene III.  Subtle, FACE, DOL. 
HOw now? Good prize?  FAC. 
Good pox! Yonder caustive cheater  
Never came on.  SVB. 
How then?  FAC. 
I ha' walked the round,  
Till now, and no such thing.  SVB. 
And ha' you quit him?  FAC. 
Quit him? and hell would quit him too, he were happy.  
'Slight would you have me stalk like a mill-jade.  
All day, for one, that will not yield us grains?  
I know him of old.  SVB. 
O, but to ha' gulled him,  
Had been a mastery.  FAC. 
Let him go, black Boy,  
And turn thee, that some fresh news may possess thee.  
A noble Count, a Don of Spain (my dear  
Delicious compear, and my party-bawd)  
Who is come hither, private, for his conscience,  
And brought munition with him, six great slops,  
Bigger than three Dutch hoys, beside round trunks,  
Furnished with pistolets, and pieces of eight,  
Will straight be here, my rogue, to have thy bath  
(That is the colour,) and to make his battery  
Upon our DOL, our Castle, our cinqueport,  
Our Dover pire, our what thou wilt. Where is she?  
She must prepare perfumes, delicate linen,  
The bath in chief, a banquet, and her wit,  
For she must milk his Epididimis.  
Where is the Doxy?  SVB. 
I'll send her to thee:  
And but dispatch my brace of little JOHN Leyden's,  
And come again myself.  FAC. 
Are they within then?  SVB. 
Numbering the sum.  FAC. 
How much?  SVB. 
A hundred marks, Boy.  FAC. 
Why, this's a lucky day! Ten pounds of MAMMON!  
Three o' my clerk! A portague o' my grocer!  
This o' the Brethren! beside reversions,  
And states, to come i' the widow, and my Count!  
My share, today, will not be bought for forty—  DOL. 
What?  FAC. 
Pounds, dainty Dorothy, art thou so near?  DOL. 
Yes, say lord General, how fares our camp?  FAC. 
As, with the few, that had entrenched themselves  
Safe, by their discipline, against a world, DOL:  
And laughed, within those trenches, and grew fat  
With thinking on the booties, DOL, brought in  
Daily, by their small parties. This dear hour,  
A doughty Don is taken, with my DOL;  
And thou mayst make his ransom, what thou wilt,  
My Dousabell: He shall be brought here, fettered  
With thy fair looks, before he see's thee; and thrown  
In a downbed, as dark as any dungeon;  
Where thou shalt keep him waking, with thy drum;  
Thy drum, my DOL; thy drum; till he be tame  
As the poor blackbirds were i' the great frost,  
Or bees are with a basin: and so hive him  
I' the swanskin coverlid, and cambric sheets,  
Till he work honey, and wax, my little Gods-gift.  DOL. 
What is he, General?  FAC. 
An Adalantado,  
A grand, girl. Was not my DAPPER here, yet?  DOL. 
No.  FAC. 
Nor my DRUGGER?  DOL. 
Neither.  FAC. 
A pox on 'em.  
They are so long a furnishing! Such stinkards  
Would not be seen, upon these festival days.  
How now! ha you done?  Sub. 
Done. They are gone. The sum  
Is here in banque, my FACE. I would, we knew  
Another chapman, now, would buy 'em outright.  FAC. 
'Slid, NAB shall do't against he ha' the widow,  
To furnish household.  Sub. 
Excellent, well thought on:  
Pray God he come.  FAC. 
I pray he keep away  
Till our new business be overpassed.  Sub. 
But, FACE,  
How cam'st thou, by this secret Don?  FAC. 
A spirit  
Brought me th' intelligence, in a paper, here,  
As I was conjuring yonder in my circle  
For SURLY; I ha' my flies abroad. Your bath  
Is famous, SUBTLE, by my means. Sweet DOL,  
You must go tune your virginal, no losing  
O' the least time. And, do you hear? good action.  
Firke, like a flounder; kiss, like a scallop, close:  
And tickle him with thy mother-tongue. His great  
VERDVGO-ship has not a jot of language;  
So much the easier to be cossined, my DOLLY  
He will come here in a hired coach, obscure,  
And our own coachman, whom I have sent, as guide,  
No creature else. One knocks Who's that?  Sub. 
It i' not he?  FAC. 
O no, not yet this hour.  Sub. 
Who is't?  DOL 
Dapper,  
Your Clerk.  FAC. 
God's will then, Queen of Fairy,  
On with your tire; and, Doctor, with your robes.  
Let's dispatch him for gods sake.  Sub. 
'Twill be long.  FAC. 
I warrant you, take but the cues I give you,  
It shall be brief enough. 'Slight, here are more!  
ABEL, and I think the angry boy, the heir,  
That feign would quarrel.  Sub. 
And the widow?  FAC. 
No,  
Not that I see. Away! O sir, you are welcome.   

Act III. Scene IIII.  FACE, DAPPER, DRUUGGER, KASTRILL 
THe Doctor is within, a moving for you;  
(I have had the most ado to win him to it)  
He swears, you'll be the darling o'the dice:  
He never heard her Highness dote, till now (he says.)  
Your aunt has given you the most gracious words,  
That can be thought on.  DAP 
Shall I see her Grace  FAC. 
See her, and kiss her, too. What? honest NAB!  
Hast brought the damask?  NAB 
No, sir, here's tobacco  FAC. 
'Tis well done, NAB: Thou'lt bring the damask too?  DRU. 
Yes, here's the gentleman, Captain, master KASTRIL,  
I have brought to see the Doctor.  FAC. 
Where's the widow?  DRU. 
Sir, as he likes, his sister (he says) shall come.  FAC. 
O, is it so? 'good time. Is your name KASTRIL, sir?  KAS 
I, and the best o' the KESTRELS, I'd be sorry else,  
By fifteen hundred, a year. Where is this Doctor?  
My mad tobacco-boy, here, tells me of one  
That can do things. Has he any skill?  FAC. 
Wherein, sir?  KAS 
To carry a business, manage a quarrel, fairly,  
Upon fit terms.  FAC. 
It seems, sir, yo' are but young  
About the town, that can make that question!  KAS 
Sir, not so young, but I have heard some speech  
Of the angry Boys, and seen 'em take tobacco;  
And in his shop: and I can take it too.  
And I would feign be one of 'em, and go down  
And practise i' the country.  FAC. 
Sir, for the Duello,  
The Doctor, I assure you, shall inform you,  
To the least shadow of a hair: and show you,  
An instrument he has, of his own making,  
Wherewith, no sooner shall you make report  
Of any quarrel, but he will take the height on't,  
Most instantly; and tell in what degree,  
Of safety it lies in or mortality.  
And, how it may be borne, whether in a right line,  
Or a halfe-circle; or may, else, be cast  
Into an angle blunt, if not acute:  
All this he will demonstrate. And then, rules,  
To give and take the lie, by.  KAS 
How? to take it?  
Yes, in obliqne, he'll show you; or in circle  
But never in diameter. The whole town  
Studies high theorems, and dispute them, ordinarily,  
At the eating Academies.  
But, does he teach  
Living, by the wits, too?  
Any thing, what ever.  
You cannot think that subtlety, but he reads it.  
He made me a Captain. I was a stark pimp,  
Just o' your standing, before I met with him:  
It is not two months since. I'll tell you his method.  
First, he will enter you, at some ordinary.  KAS 
No, I'll not come there. You shall pardon me.  FAC. 
For why, sir  KAS 
There's gaming there, and tricks.  FAC. 
Why would you be  
A gallant, and not game?  KAS 
I, 'twill spend a man.  FAC. 
Spend you? It will repair you, when you are spent.  
How do they live by their wits, there, that have vented  
Six times your fortunes?  KAS 
What, three thousand a year!  FAC. 
I, forty thousand  KAS 
Are there such?  FAC. 
I, sir  
And gallants, yet. Here's a young gentleman,  
Is borne to nothing, forty marks a year,  
Which I count nothing. he's to be initiated,  
And have a fly o'the Doctor. He will win you  
By unresistible luck, within this fortnight,  
Enough to buy a barony. They will set him  
Upmost, at the Groom-porters, all the Christmas!  
And, for the whole year through, at every place,  
Where there is play, present him with the chair;  
The best attendance, the best drink, sometimes  
Two glasses of canary, and pay nothing;  
The purest linen, and the sharpest knife,  
The partridge next his trencher: and, somewhere,  
The dainty bed, in private, with the dainty.  
You shall ha' your ordinaries bid for him,  
As playhouses for a poet; and the master  
Pray him, aloud, to name what dish he affects,  
Which must be buttered shrimps: and those that drink  
To no mouth else, will drink to his, as being  
The goodly, precedent mouth of all the board.  KAS. 
Do you not gull one?  FAC. 
'Od's my life! Do you think it?  
You shall have a cast commander, (can but get  
In credit with a glover, or a spurrier,  
For some two pair, of either's ware, aforehand)  
Will, by most swift posts, dealing with him,  
Arrive at competent means, to keep himself,  
His punk, and naked boy, in excellent fashion.  
And be admired for't.  KAS. 
Will the Doctor teach this?  FAC. 
He will do more, sir, when your land is gone,  
(As men of spirit hate to keep earth long ( 
In a vacation, when small money is stirring,  
And ordinaries suspended till the term,  
he'll show a perspective, where on one side  
You shall behold the faces, and the persons  
Of all sufficient young heirs, in town,  
Whose bonds are currant for commodity;  
On th'other side, the merchants forms, and others,  
(That, without help of any second broker,  
(Who would expect a share) will trust such parcels:  
In the third square, the very street, and sign  
Where the commodity dwells, and does but wait  
To be delivered, be it pepper, soap,  
Hops, or tobacco, oatmeal, woad, or cheeses.  
All which you may so handle, to enjoy,  
To your own use, and never stand obliged.  KAS. 
I'faith! Is he such a fellow?  FAC. 
Why, NAB here knows him.  
And then for making matches, for rich widows,  
Young gentlewomen, heirs, the fortunat'st man!  
he's sent too, far, and near, all over England,  
To have his counsel, and to know their fortunes.  KAS. 
God's will, my sister shall see him.  FAC. 
I'll tell you, sir,  
What he did tell me of NAB. It's a strange thing!  
(By the way you must eat no cheese, NAB, it breeds melancholy:  
And that same melancholy breeds worms) but pass it,  
He told me, honest NAB, here, was ne'er at tavern,  
But once in's life!  DRV. 
Truth, and no more I was not.  FAC. 
And, than he was so sick—  DRV. 
Could he tell you that, too?  FAC. 
How should I know it?  DRV. 
In troth we had been a shooting,  
And had a piece of fat ram-mutton, to supper,  
That lay so heavy o' my stomach—  FAC. 
And he has no head  
To bear any wine; for, what with the noise o' the fiddlers,  
And care of his shop, for he dares keep no servants—  DRV. 
My head did so ache—  FAC. 
As he was feign to be brought home,  
The Doctor told me. And then, a good old woman—  DRV. 
(Yes faith, she dwells in Sea-coal-lane) did cure me,  
With sodden ale, and pellitory o' the wall:  
Cost me but two pence. I had another sickness,  
Was worse than that.  FAC. 
ay, that was with the grief  
Thou took'st for being 'sessed at eighteen pence,  
For the waterwork.  DRV. 
In truth, and it was like  
T'have cost me almost my life.  FAC. 
Thy hair went off?  DRV. 
Yes, sir, 'twas done for spite.  FAC. 
Nay, so says the Doctor.  KAS. 
Pray thee, tobacco-Boy, go fetch my sister,  
I'll see this learned Boy, before I go:  
And so shall she.  FAC. 
Sir, he is busy now:  
But, if you have a sister to fetch hither,  
Perhaps, your own pains may command her sooner;  
And he, by that time, will be free.  KAS. 
I go.  FAC. 
DRUGGER, she's thine: the damask. (Subtle, and I  
Must wrestle for her.) Come on, master DAPPER.  
You see, how I turn clients, here, away,  
To give your cause dispatch. Ha'you performed  
The ceremonies were enjoined you?  DAP. 
Yes, o' the vinegar,  
And the clean shirt.  FAC. 
'Tis well: that shirt may do you  
More worship than you think. Your aunt's afire  
But that she will not show it, t'have a sight on you.  
Ha'you provided for her grace's servants?  DAP. 
Yes, here are sixscore EDWARD shillings.  FAC. 
Good.  DAP. 
And an old HARRY'S sovereign.  FAC. 
Very good.  DAP. 
And three JAMES shillings, and an ELIZABETH groat,  
Just twenty nobles.  FAC. 
O, you are too just.  
I would you had had the other noble in MARIES.  DAP 
I have some PHILIP, and MARIES.  FAC. 
I, those same  
Are best of all. Where are thevy? Hark, the Doctor.   

ACT III, Scene V.  SUBTLE, FACE, DAPPER, DOL Subtle disguised like a Priest of Fairy 
Is yet her Grace's cousin come?  FAC. 
He is come.  Sub. 
And is he fasting?  FAC. 
Yes  Sub. 
And hath cried hum?  FAC. 
Thrice, you must answer.  DAP 
Thrice  Sub. 
And as oft buz?  FAC. 
If you have, say.  DAP 
I have.  Sub. 
Then, to her couz,  
Hoping, that he hath vinegard his senses,  
As he was bid, the Fairy Queen dispenses,  
By me, this rob, the petticoat of FORTUNE;  
Which that he straight put on, she doth importune.  
And though to FORTUNE near be her petticoat  
Yet, nearer is her smock, the Queen doth note:  
And, therefore, even of that piece she hath sent,  
Which, being a child, to wrap him in, was rent;  
And prays him, for a scarf, he now will wear it  
(With as much love, as than her Grace did tear it)  They blind him with a rag. 
About his eyes, to show, he is fortunate.  
And, trusting unto her to make his state,  
He'll throw away all worldly pelf, about him;  
Which that he will perform, she doth not doubt him.  FAC. 
She need not doubt him, sir. Alas, he has nothing,  
But what he will part withal, as willingly,  
Upon her Grace's word (throw away your purse)  
As she would ask it: (handkerchiefs, and all)  
She cannot bid that thing, but he'll obey.  
(If you have a ring, about you, cast it off,  He throws away, as they bid him. 
Or a silver seal, at your wrist, her Grace will send  
Her Fairies here to search you, therefore deal  
Directly with her Highness. If they find  
That you conceal a mite, you are un-done.  DAP 
Truly, there's all.  FAC. 
All what?  DAP 
My money, truly  FAC. 
Keep nothing, that is transitory, about you.  Dol enters with a cittern: they pinch him 
(Bid DOL play music.) Look, the Elves are come  
To pinch you, if you tell not truth. Advise you.  DAP 
O, I have a paper with a spur-ryall in't.  FAC. 
Ti, ti  
They knew't, they say.  Sub. 
Ti, ti, ti, ti, he has more yet.  FAC. 
Ti, ti-ti-ti. I'the other pocket?  Sub. 
Titi, titi, titi, titi.  
They must pinch him, or he will never confessse, they say.  DAP 
O, o  FAC. 
Nay, pray you hold. He is her Grace's nephew.  
Ti, ti, ti? What care you? Good faith, you shall care.  
Deal plainly, sir, and shame the Fairies. Show  
You are an innocent.  DAP 
By this good light, I ha' nothing.  SUB 
Ti ti, tititota. He does equivocate, she says:  
Ti, ti do ti, ti ti do, ti da. And swears by the light, when he is blinded.  DAP 
By this good dark, I ha' nothing but a halfe-crown  
Of gold, about my wrist, that my love gave me;  
And a leaden heart I wore, sing she forsook me.  FAC. 
I thought, 'twas something. And, would you incur  
Your aunts displeasure for these trifles? Come,  
I had rather you had thrown away twenty halfe-crownes.  
You may wear you leaden heart still. How now?  Sub. 
What news. DOL?  DOL 
Yonder's your knight, sir MAMMON.  FAC. 
God's lid, we never thought of him, till now.  
Where is he?  DOL 
Here, hard by. he's at the door.  SUB 
And, you are not ready, now? DOL, get his suit.  
He must not be sent back.  FAC.. 
What shall we do with this same Puffin, here,  
Now he's o' the spit?  Sub. 
Why, lay him back a while,  
With some device. Ti, ti ti, ti ti ti. Would her Grace speak with me?  
I come. Help, DOL.  FAC. 
Who's there? Sir EPICURE;  He speaks through the keyhole, the other knocking. 
My master's i'the way. Please you to walk  
Three or four turns, but till his back be turned,  
And I am for you. Quickly, DOL.  Sub. 
Her Grace  
Commends her kindly to you, master DAPPER.  DAP 
I long to see her Grace.  
She, now, is set  
At dinner, in her bed; and she has sent you,  
From her own private trencher, a dead mouse,  
And a piece of gingerbread, to be merry withal,  
And stay your stomach, lest you faint with fasting:  
Yet, if you could hold out, till she saw you (she says)  
It would be better for you.  FAC 
Sir, he shall  
Hold out, and 'twere this two hours, for her Highness;  
I can assure you that. We will not lose  
All we ha' done—  Sub. 
He must nor see, nor speak  
To any body, till then.  FAC. 
For that, we'll put, sir,  
A stay in'is mouth.  Sub. 
Of what?  FAC. 
Of gingerbread  
Make you it fit. He that hath pleased her Grace,  
Thus far, shall not now crinckle, for a little.  
Gape sir, and let him fit you.  Sub. 
Where shall we now  
Bestow him?  DOL 
I'the privy.  Sub. 
Come along, sir,  
I now must show you Fortunes privy lodgings.  FAC. 
Are they perfumed? and his bath ready?  Sub. 
All.  
Only the Fumigation's somewhat strong.  FAC. 
Sir EPICURE. I am yours, sir, by and by    


Act IV. Scene I.  FACE, MAMMON, DOL. 
O, Sir, yo'are come i' the only, finest time—  MAM. 
Where's master?  FAC. 
Now preparing for projection, sir.  
Your stuff will b' all changed shortly.  MAM. 
Into gold?  FAC. 
To gold, and silver, sir.  MAM. 
Silver, I care not for.  FAC. 
Yes, sir, a little to give beggars.  MAM. 
Where's the lady?  FAC. 
At hand, here. I ha' told her such brave things, o' you,  
Touching your bounty and your noble spirit—  MAM. 
Hast thou?  FAC. 
As she is almost in her fit to see you.  
But, good sir, no divinity i' your conference,  
For fear of putting her in rage—  MAM. 
I warrant thee.  FAC. 
six men will not hold her down. And, than  
If the old man should hear, or see you—  MAM. 
Fear not.  FAC. 
The very house, sir, would run mad. You know it  
How scrupulous he is, and violent,  
'Gainst the least act of sin. physic, or Mathematics,  
Poetry, State, or Bawdry (as I told you)  
She will endure, and never startle: But  
No word of controversy.  MAM. 
I am schooled, good Ulen.  FAC. 
And you must praise her house, remember that,  
And her nobility.  MAM. 
Let me, alone:  
No Herald, no nor Antiquary, Lungs,  
Shall do it better. Go.  FAC. 
Why, this is yet  
A kind of modern happiness, to have  
DOL Common for a great lady.  MAM. 
Now, EPICURE,  
Heighten thyself, talk to her, all in gold;  
Rain her as many showers, as JOVE did drops  
Unto his DANAE: Show the God a miser,  
Compared with MAMMON. What? the stone will do't.  
She shall feel gold, taste gold, hear gold, sleep gold:  
Nay, we will concumbere gold. I will be puissant,  
And mighty in my talk to her! Here she comes.  FAC. 
To him, DOL, suckle him. This is the noble knight,  
I told your ladyship—  MAM. 
Madame, with your pardon,  
I kiss your vesture.  DOL. 
Sir, I were uncivil  
If I would suffer that, my lip to you, sir.  MAM. 
I hope, my lord your brother be in health, lady?  DOL. 
My lord, my brother is, though I no lady, sir.  FAC. 
(Well said my Guinea-bird.)  MAM. 
Right noble madame—  FAC. 
(O, we shall have most fierce idolatry!)  MAM. 
'Tis your prerogative.  DOL. 
Rather your courtesy.  MAM. 
Were there nought else t'enlarge your virtues, to me,  
These answers speak your breeding, and your blood.  DOL. 
Blood we boast none, sir, a poor Baron's daughter.  MAM. 
Poor! and got you? Profane not. Had your father  
Slept all the happy remnant of his life  
After that act, lain but there still, and panted,  
H' had done enough, to make himself, his issue,  
And his posterity noble.  DOL. 
Sir, although  
We may be said to want the guilt, and trappings,  
The dress of honour; yet we strive to keep  
The seeds, and the materials.  MAM. 
I do see  
The old ingredient, virtue, was not lost,  
Nor the drug money, used to make your compound.  
There is a strange nobility, i' your eye,  
This lip, that chin! methinks you do resemble  
One o' the Austrian princes.  FAC. 
Very like,  
Her father was an Irish costermonger.  MAM. 
The house of Valois, just, had such a nose.  
And such a forehead, yet, the Medici  
Of Florence boast.  DOL. 
Troth, and I have been likened  
To all these Princes.  FAC. 
I'll be sworn, I heard it.  MAM. 
I know not how! it is not any one,  
But e'en the very choice of all their features.  FAC. 
I'll in, and laugh.  MAM. 
A certain touch, or air,  
That sparkles a divinity, beyond  
An earthly beauty!  DOL. 
O, you play the courtier.  MAM. 
Good lady, gi' me leave—  DOL. 
In faith, I may not,  
To mock me, sir.  MAM. 
To burn i' this sweet flame:  
The Phoenix never knew a nobler death.  DOL. 
Nay, now you court the courtier: and destroy  
What you would build. This art, sir, i' your words,  
Calls your whole faith in question.  MAM. 
By my soul—  DOL. 
Nay, oaths are made o' the same air, sir.  MAM. 
Nature  
Never bestowed upon mortality,  
A more unblamed, a more harmonious feature:  
She played the stepdame in all faces, else.  
Sweet madame, le' me be particular—  DOL. 
Particular, sir? I pray you, know your distance.  MAM. 
In no ill sense, sweet lady, but to ask  
How your fair graces pass the hours? I see  
You're lodged, here, i' the house of a rare man,  
An excellent Artist: but, what's that to you?  DOL. 
Yes, sir. I study here the mathematics,  
And distillation.  MAM. 
O, I cry your pardon.  
H' is a divine instructor! can extract  
The souls of all things, by his art; call all  
The virtues, and the miracles of the Sun,  
Into a temperate furnace: teach dull nature  
What her own forces are. A man, the Emperor  
Has courted, above KELLEY: sent his medals,  
And chains, t'invite him.  DOL 
I, and for his physic, sir——  MAM. 
Above the art of AESCULAPIUS,  
That drew the envy of the Thunderer  
I know all this, and more.  DOL 
Troth, I am taken, sir,  
Whole, with these studies, that contemplate nature:  MAM. 
It is a noble humour. But, this form  
Was not intended to so dark a use!  
Had you been crooked, foul, of some course mould,  
A cloister had done well: but, such a feature  
That might stand up the glory of a kingdom,  
To live recluse! is a mere solecism,  
Though in a nunnery. It must not be.  
I muse, my lord your brother will permit it!  
You should spend half my land first, were I he.  
Does not this diamant better, on my finger,  
Then in the quarry?  DOL 
Yes.  MAM. 
Why, you are like it.  
You were created, lady, for the light!  
Hear, you shall wear it; take it, the first pledge  
Of what I speak: to bind you to believe me.  DOL 
In chains of adamant?  MAM. 
Yes, the strongest bands.  
And take a secret, too. Here, by your side,  
Doth stand, this hour, the happiest man, in Europe.  DOL 
You are contented, sir?  MAM. 
Nay, in true being:  
The envy of Princes, and the fear of States.  DOL 
Say you so, sir EPICURE!  MAM. 
Yes, & thou shalt prove it,  
Daughter of honour. I have cast mine eye  
Upon thy form, and I will rear this beauty  
Above all styles.  DOL 
You mean no treason, sir!  MAM. 
No, I will take away that jealousy.  
I am the lord of the Philosopher's stone,  
And thou the lady.  DOL 
How sir! ha you that?  MAM. 
I am the master of the mastery.  
This day, the good old wretch, here, o' the house  
Has made it for vs. Now, he's at projection.  
Think therefore, the first wish, now; let me hear it:  
And it shall rain into thy lap, no shower,  
But floods of gold, whole cataracts, a deluge,  
To get a nation on thee!  DOL 
You are pleased, sir,  
To work on the ambition of our sex.  MAM. 
I am pleased, the glory of her sex should know,  
This nook, here, of the Friars, is no climate  
For her, to live obscurely in, to learn  
Physic, and surgery, for the Constable's wife  
Of some odd Hundred in Essex; but come forth,  
And taste the air of palaces; eat, drink  
The toils of empirics, and their boasted practice;  
Tinctured of pearl, and coral, gold, and amber;  
Be seen at feasts, and triumphs; have it asked,  
What miracle she is? set all the eyes  
Of court afire, like a burning glass,  
And work 'em into cinders; when the jewels  
Of twenty states adorn thee; and the light  
Strikes out the stars; that, when thy name is mentioned  
Queens may look pale: and, we but showing our love,  
NERO's POPPAEA may be lost in story!  
Thus, will we have it.  DOL 
I could well consent, sir.  
But, in a monarchy, how will this be?  
The Prince will soon take notice; and both seize  
You, and your stone: it being a wealth unfit  
For any private subject.  MAM. 
If he knew it.  DOL 
Yourself do boast it, sir.  MAM. 
To thee, my life.  DOL 
O, but beware, sir! You may come to end  
The remnant of your days, in a loathed prison,  
By speaking of it.  MAM. 
'Tis no idle fear!  
we'll therefore go with all, my girl, and live  
In a free state; where we will eat our mullets,  
Soused in high-countrey wines, sup pheasants eggs,  
And have our cockles, boiled in silver shells,  
Our shrimps to swim again, ass when they lived,  
In rare butter, made of dolphin's milk,  
Whose cream does look like opals: and, with these  
Delicate meats, set our seluves high for pleasure,  
And take us down again, and then renew  
Our youth, and strength, with drinking the elixir,  
And so enjoy a perpetuity  
Of life, and lust. And thou shalt ha' thy wardrobe,  
Richer than Natures, still, to change thyself  
And vary oftener, for thy pride, than she:  
Or Art, her wise, and almost-equall servant.  FAC. 
Sir, you are too loud. I hear you, every word,  
Into the labarotory. Some fitter place.  
The garden, or great chamber above. How like you her?  MAM. 
Excellent! Lungs. There's for thee.  FAC. 
But, do you hear?  
Good sir, beware, no mention of the Rabbins.  MAM. 
We think not on 'em.  FAC. 
O, it is well, sir. SUBTLE!   

Act IV. Scene II.  FACE, Subtle, KASTRIL, DAME PLIANT. 
DOst thou not laugh?  SVB. 
Yes. Are they gone?  FAC. 
All's clear.  SVB. 
The widow is come.  FAC. 
And your quarreling disciple?  SVB. 
I.  FAC. 
I must to my Captainship again, then.  SVB. 
Stay, bring 'em in, first.  FAC. 
So I meant. What is she?  
A Bony-bell?  SVB. 
I know not.  FAC. 
we'll draw lots,  
You'll stand to that?  SVB. 
What else?  FAC. 
O, for a suit,  
To fall now, like a curtain: flap.  SVB. 
To th'door, man.  FAC. 
You'll ha' the first kiss, 'cause I am not ready.  SVB. 
Yes, and perhaps hit you through both the nostrils.  FAC. 
Who would you speak with?  KAS. 
where's the Captain?  FAC. 
Gone, sir,  
About some business.  KAS. 
Gone?  FAC. 
he'll return straight.  
But master Doctor, his Lieutenant, is here.  SVB. 
Come near, my worshipful Boy, my terrae Fili,  
That is, my Boy of land; make thy approaches:  
Welcome, I know thy lusts, and thy desires,  
And I will serve, and satisfy 'em. Begin,  
Charge me from thence, or thence, or in this line;  
Here is my centre: Ground thy quarrel.  KAS. 
You lie.  SVB. 
How, child of wrath, and anger! the loud lie?  
For what, my sudden Boy?  KAS. 
Nay, that look you too,  
I am aforehand.  SVB. 
O, this's no true Grammar,  
And as ill Logic! You must render causes, child,  
Your first, and second Intentions, know your canons,  
And your divisions, moods, degrees, and differences,  
Your predicaments, substance, and accident,  
Series extern, and intern, with their causes  
Efficient, material, formal, final,  
And ha' your elements perfect—  KAS. 
What is this!  
The angry tongue he talks in?  SVB. 
That false precept,  
Of being aforehand, has deceived a number;  
And made 'em enter quarrels, oftentimes,  
Before they were aware: and, afterward,  
Against their wills.  KAS. 
How must I do then, sir?  SVB. 
I cry this lady mercy. she should, first,  
Have been saluted. I do call you lady,  
Because you are to be one, ere't be long,  
He kisses her. My soft, and buxom widow.  KAS. 
Is she, i'faith?  SVB. 
Yes, or my art is an egregious liar.  KAS. 
How know you?  SVB. 
By inspection, on her forehead,  
And subtlety of her lip, He kisses her again. which must be tasted  
Often, to make a judgement. 'Slight, she melts  
Like a Myrobalane! Here is, yet, a line  
In rivo frontis, tells me, he is no knight.  PLI. 
What is he then, sir?  SVB. 
Let me see your hand.  
O, your linea Fortunae makes it plain;  
And stella, here, in monte Veneris:  
But, most of all, iunctura annularis.  
He is a soldier, or a man of art, lady:  
But shall have some great honour, shortly.  PLI. 
Brother,  
he's a rare man, believe me!  KAS. 
Hold your peace.  
Here comes the other rare man. 'Save you Captain.  FAC. 
Good master KASTRIL. Is this your sister?  KAS. 
ay, sir.  
Please you to kiss her, and be proud to know her?  FAC. 
I shall be proud to know you, lady.  PLI. 
Brother,  
He calls me lady, too.  KAS. 
ay, peace. I heard it.  FAC. 
The Count is come.  SVB. 
Where is he?  FAC. 
At the door.  SVB. 
Why, you must entertain him.  FAC. 
what'll you do  
With these the while?  SVB. 
Why, have 'em up, and show 'em  
Some fustian book, or the dark glass.  FAC. 
'Fore god,  
She is a delicate dabchick! I must have her.  SVB. 
Must you? ay, if your fortune will, you must.  
Come sir, the Captain will come to us presently.  
I'll ha' you to my chamber of demonstrations,  
Where I'll show you both the Grammar, and Logic,  
And Rhetoric of quarreling; my whole method,  
Drawn out in tables: and my instrument,  
That hath the several scale upon't, shall make you  
Able to quarrel, at a straws breadth, by Moonlight.  
And, lady, I'll have you look in a glass,  
Some half an hour, but to clear your eyesight,  
Against you see your fortune: which is greater,  
Than I may judge upon the sudden, trust me.   

Act IV. Scene III.  FACE, Subtle, SVRLY. 
WHere are you, Doctor?  SVB. 
I'll come to you presently.  FAC. 
I will ha' this same widow, now I ha' seen her,  
On any composition.  SVB. 
What do you say?  FAC. 
Ha' you disposed of them?  SVB. 
I ha' sent 'em up.  FAC. 
Subtle, in troth, I needs must have this widow.  SVB. 
Is that the matter?  FAC. 
Nay, but hear me.  SVB. 
Go to,  
If you rebel once, DOL shall know it all.  
Therefore, be quiet, and obey your chance.  FAC. 
Nay, thou art so violent now—— Do but conceive:  
Thou art old, and canst not serve——  Sub. 
Who, cannot I?  
'Slight, I will serve her with thee, for a——  FAC. 
Nay,  
But understandl I'll give you composition.  Sub. 
I will not treat with thee: what, sell my fortune?  
'Tis better than my birthright. Do not murmur.  
Win her, and carry her. If you grumble, DOL  
Knows it directly.  FAC. 
Well sir, I am silent.  
Will you go help, to fetch in Don, in state?  Sub. 
I follow you, sir: we must keep FACE in awe,  Surly like a Spaniard 
Or he will overlook us like a tyrant.  
Brain of a tailor! Who comes here? Don jon!  SUR 
Sennores, besolas manos, à vuestras mercedes.  Sub. 
Would you had stooped a little, and kissed our anoes.  FAC. 
Peace SUBTLE.  SUB 
Stab me; I shall never hold, man.  
He looks in that deep ruff, like a head in a platter,  
Served in by a short cloak upon two tressils!  FAC. 
Or, what do you say to a collar of brawn, cut down  
Beneath the sauce, and wriggled with a knife?  Sub. 
'Slud, he does look too fat to be a Spaniard.  FAC. 
Perhaps some Fleming, or some Hollander got him  
In D'ALVA's time: Count Egmonts' bastard.  Sub./ 
Don  
Your scurvy, yellow, Madrid face is welcome.  SUR 
Gratia  Sub. 
He speaks, out of a fortification.  
Pray god, he ha' no squibs in those deep sets.  SUR 
Por dios, Sennores, muy linda casa  Sub. 
What says he?  FAC. 
Praises the house, I think,  
I know no more but's action.  Sub. 
Yes, the Casa  
My precious DIEGO, will prove fair enough,  
To cousin you in. Do you mark? you shall  
Be cozened, DIEGO.  FAC. 
Cozened, do you see?  
My worthy Donzel, cozened.  SUR 
Entiendo.  Sub. 
Do you intent it? So do we, dear Don.  
Hay you brought pistolets? or portagues?  
My solemn Don? Dost thou feel any?  He feels his pockets. FAC. 
Full.  Sub. 
You shall be emptied, Don; pumped, and drawn,  
Dry, as they say.  FAC. 
Milked, in troth, sweet Don.  Sub. 
See all the monsters; the great lion of all, Don.  SUR 
Con licencia, se puede ver à esta Sennor à?  Sub. 
What talks he now?  FAC. 
O' the Sennora.  Sub. 
O, Don,  
That is the lioness, which you shall see  
Also, my Don.  FAC. 
'Slid, SUBTLE, how shall we do?  Sub. 
For what?  FAC. 
Why, DOL's employed, you know.  Sub. 
That's true!  
For heaven I know not: He must stay, that's all.  FAC. 
Stay? That he must not by no means  Sub. 
No, why?  FAC. 
Unless you'll mar all. 'Slight, he'll suspect it.  
And then he will not pay, not half so well.  
This is a trauvelled punque-master, and does know  
All the delays: a notable hot rascal,  
And looks, already, rampant.  Sub. 
'Sdeath, and MAMMON  
Must not be troubled.  FAC. 
MAMMON, in no case.  SUB 
What shall we do then?  FAC. 
Think: you must be sudden.  SUR 
Entiendo, que la Sennora es tan hermosa, que codìcio tan à ver la, come la bien auentur'ança de mi vida.  FAC. 
Mi vida? 'Slid, SUBTLE, he puts me in mind o'the widow.  
What dost thou say to draw her to't? ha?  
And tell her, it is her fortune. All our venture  
Now lies upon't. It is but one man more,  
Which on's chance to have her: and, beside,  
There is no maidenhead, to be feared, or lost.  
What dost thou think on't, SUBTLE?  SUBTLE. 
Who, I? Why——  FAC. 
The credit of our house too is engaged.  Sub. 
You made me an offer for my share ere while.  
What willt thou gi'me, i'faith?  FAC. 
O, by that light,  
I'll not buy now. You know your doom to me.  
E'en take your lot, obey your chance, sir; win her,  
And wear her, out for me.  Sub. 
'Slight. I'll not work her then.  FAC. 
It is the common cause, therefore bethink you.  
DOL else must know it, as you said.  Sub. 
I care not.  SUR 
Sennores, por que se tarda tanta?  Sub. 
Faith, Iam not fit, I am old.  FAC. 
That's now no reason, sir.  SUR 
Puede ser, de hazer burla de mi amor.  FAC. 
You hear the Don, too? By this air, I call.  
And lose the hinges, DOL.  Sub. 
A plague of hell——  FAC. 
Will you then do?  Sub. 
You're a terrible rogue,  
I'll think of this: will you, sir, call the widow?  
Yes, and I'll take her too, with all her faults,  
Now I do think on't better.  Sub. 
With all my heart, sir,  
Am I discharged o'the lot?  FAC 
As you please.  Sub. 
Hands.  FAC. 
Remember now, that upon any change,  
You never claim her.  Sub. 
Much good joy, and health to you, sir.  
Marry a whore? Fate, let me wed a witch first.  SUR 
Por estas hoxradas barbas——  Sub. 
He swears by his beard.  
Dispatch, and call the brother too.  SUR 
Tienge dùda, Sennores,  
Que no me h'agan alguna traytion.  Sub./ 
How, issue on? Yes, praestoSennor. Please you  
Enthratha the chambratha, worthy Don;  
Where if it please the Fates, in your bathada,  
YOu shall be soaked, and stroked and tubed, and rubbed;  
And scrubbed, and fubbed, dear Don, before you go.  
You shall, in faith, my scurvy baboon Don:  
Be curried, clawed, and flawed, and tawed, indeed.  
I will the heartilier go about it now,  
And make the widow a punk, so much the sooner,  
To be revenged on this impetuous FACE:  
The quickly doing of it is the grace.   

Act IV. Scene IIII.  FACE, KASTRIL, DA. PLIANT, Subtle, SVRLY. 
COme lady: I knew, the Doctor would not leave,  
Till he had found the very nick of her fortune.  KAS. 
To be a Countess, say you? A Spanish Countess, sir.  PLI. 
Why? is that better than an English Countess?  FAC. 
Better? 'Slight, make you that a question, lady?  KAS. 
Nay, she is a fool, Captain, you must pardon her.  FAC. 
Ask from your courtier, to your inns of courtman,  
To your mere milliner: they will tell you all,  
Your Spanish jennet is the best horse. Your Spanish  
Stoop is the best garb. Your Spanish beard  
Is the best cut. Your Spanish ruffs are the best  
Wear. Your Spanish Pavin the best dance.  
Your Spanish titillation in a glove  
The best perfume. And, for your Spanish pike,  
And Spanish blade, let your poor Captain speak.  
Here comes the Doctor.  SVB. 
My most honoured lady,  
(For so I am now to style you, having found  
By this my scheme, you are to undergo  
An honourable fortune, very shortly.)  
What will you say now, if some—  FAC. 
I ha' told her all, sir.  
And her right worshipful brother, here, that she shall be  
A Countess: do not delay 'em, sir. A Spanish Countess.  SVB. 
Still, my scarce worshipful Captain, you can keep  
No secret. Well, since he has told you, madame,  
Do you forgive him, and I do.  KAS. 
She shall do that, sir.  
I'll look to't, 'tis my charge.  SVB. 
Well then. Nought rests  
But that she fit her love, now, to her fortune.  PLI. 
Truly, I shall never brook a Spaniard.  SVB. 
No?  PLI. 
Never, sin' eighty-eight could I abide 'em,  
And that was some three year afore I was borne, in truth.  SVB. 
Come, you must love him, or be miserable:  
Choose, which you will.  FAC. 
By this good rush, persuade her,  
She will cry strawberries else, within this twelvemonth.  SVB. 
Nay, shads, and mackerel, which is worse.  FAC. 
Indeed, sir?  KAS. 
God's lid, you shall love him, or I'll kick you.  PLI. 
Why?  
I'll do as you will ha' me, brother.  KAS. 
Do,  
Or by this hand, I'll maul you.  FAC. 
Nay, good sir,  
Be not so fierce.  SVB. 
No, my enraged child,  
She will be ruled. What, when she comes to taste  
The pleasures of a Countess! to be courted—  FAC. 
And kissed, and ruffled!  SVB. 
ay, behind the hangings.  FAC. 
And then come forth in pomp!  SVB. 
And know her state!  FAC. 
Of keeping all th'idolaters o' the chamber  
Barer to her, then at their prayers!  SVB. 
Is served  
Upon the knee!  FAC. 
And has her pages, ushers,  
Footmen, and coaches—  SVB. 
Her six mares—  FAC. 
Nay, eight!  SVB. 
To hurry her through London, to th'Exchange,  
bedlam, the China-houses—  FAC. 
Yes, and have  
The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires!  
And my-lord's goose-turd bands, that rides with her!  KAS. 
Most brave! By this hand, you are not my sister,  
If you refuse.  PLI. 
I will not refuse, brother.  SVR. 
Que es esto, Sennores, que non se venga?  
Esta tardanza me mata!  FAC. 
It is the Count come!  
The Doctor knew he would be here, by his art.  SVB. 
En gallanta Madama, Don! gallantissima!  SVR. 
Por tódos los dioses, la mas acabada  
Hermosura, que he visto en mi vida!  FAC. 
Is't not a gallant language, that they speak?  KAS. 
An admirable language! Is't not French?  FAC. 
No, Spanish, sir.  KAS. 
It goes like law-French,  
And that, they say, is the court-liest language.  FAC. 
List, sir.  SVR. 
El Sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el  
Resplandor, que tràe esta dama. Valga me dios!  FAC. 
He'admires your sister.  KAS. 
Must not she make curtsy?  SVB. 
'Ods will, she must go to him, man; and kiss him!  
It is the Spanish fashion, for the women  
To make first court.  FAC. 
'Tis true he tells you, sir:  
His art knows all.  SVR. 
Por que no se acùde?  KAS. 
He speaks to her, I think?  FAC. 
That he does sir.  SVR. 
Por el amor de dios, que es esto, que se tàrda?  KAS. 
Nay, see: she will not understand him! Gull.  
Noddy.  PLI. 
What say you brother?  KAS. 
Ass, my sister,  
Go kiss him, as the cunning man would ha' you,  
I'll thrust a pin i' your buttocks else.  FAC. 
O, no sir.  SVR. 
Sennora mia, mi persona muy indigna esta  
Alle gar à tànta Hermosura.  FAC. 
Does he not use her bravely?  KAS 
Bravely, i'faith!  FAC. 
Nay, he will use her better.  KAS 
Do you think so?  SUR 
Sennora, sie sera seruida, entremus.  KAS 
Where does he carry her?  FAC. 
Into the garden, sir;  
Take you no thought: I must interpret for her.  Sub. 
Give DOL the word. Come, my fierce child, advance,  
We'll to our quarreling lesson again.  KAS 
Agreed.  
I love a Spanish Boy, with all my heart.  Sub. 
Nay, and by this means, sir, you shall be brother  
To a great Count.  KAS 
I. I lknew that, at first.  
This match will advance the house of the KESTRELS.  Sub. 
Pray god, your sister prove but pliant.  KAS 
Why,  
Her name is so: by her other husband.  Sub. 
How  KAS 
The widow PLIANT. Knew you not that?  Sub. 
No faith, sir.  
Yet, by erection of her figure, I guessed it.  
Come, let's go practice.  KAS 
Yes, but do you think, Doctor,  
I e'er shall quarrel well?  Sub. 
I warrant you.   

Act IIII. Scene V.  DOL, MAMMON, FACE, SUBTLE In her fit of talking. 
For, after Alexanders' death——  MAM. 
Good lady——  DOL 
That PERDICCAS, and ANTIGONUS were slain,  
The two that stood, SELEUC' and PTOLOMEEE—  MAM. 
Madame.  DOL 
Made up the two legs, and the fourth Beast.  
That was Gog-north, and Egypt-south: which after  
Was called Gog Iron-leg, and South Iron-leg——  MAM. 
Lady——  DOL 
And then Gog-horned. So was Egypt, too.  
Then Egypt clay-leg, and Gog clay-leg——  MAM. 
Sweet madame.  DOL 
And last Gog-dust, and Egypt-dust, which fall  
In the last link of the fourth chain. And these  
Be stars in story, which none see, or look at——  MAM. 
What shall I do?  DOL 
For, as he says, except  
We call the Rabbins, and the heathen greeks——  MAM. 
Dear lady  DOL 
To come from Salem, and from Athens,  
And teach the people of great Britain——  FAC. 
What's the matter, sir?  DOL 
To speak the tongue of EBER, and JAVAN——  MAM. 
O,  
she's in her fit  DOL 
We shall know nothing——  FAC. 
Death, sir,  
We are un-done.  DOL 
Where, then, a learned Linguist  
Shall see the ancient used communion  
Of vowels, and consonants——  FAC. 
My master will hear!  DOL 
A wisdom, which PYTHAGORAS held most high——  MAM. 
Sweet honourable lady.  DOL 
To comprise  
All sounds of voices, in few marks of letters——  FAC. 
Nay, you must never hope to lay her now.  They speak together DOL 
And so we may arrive by Talmud skill,  
And profane greek, to raise the building up  
Of Helens' house against the Ismaelite,  
King of Thogarma, and Habergions  
Brimstony, blue, and fiery; and the force  
Of King Abaddon, and the Beast of Cittim:  
Which Rabbi DAVID KIMCHI, ONKELOS,  
And ABEN- EZRA do interpret Roma.  FAC. 
How did you put her into it?  MAM. 
Alas, I talked  
Of a fift Monarchy I would erect,  
With the Philosopher's stone (by chance) and she  
Falls on the other four, straight.  FAC. 
Out of Broughton.  
I told you so. 'Slid stop her mouth.  MAM. 
Is't best?  FAC. 
She'll never leave else. If the old man hear her  
We are but faeces, ashes.  Sub. 
What's to do there?  FAC. 
O, we are lost. Now she hears him, she is quiet.  Upon Subtles entry they disperse/ MAM. 
Where shall I hide me?  Sub. 
How! What sight is here?  
Close deeds of darkness, and that shun the light!  
Bring him again. Who is he? What, my son!  
O, I have lived too long.  MAM. 
Nay good, dear father,  
There was no'vnchast purpose.  Sub. 
Not? and flee me,  
When I come in?  MAM. 
That was my error.  Sub. 
Error?  
Guilt, guilt, my son. Give it the right name. No marvel,  
If I found check in our great work within,  
When such affairs as these were managing!  MAM. 
Why, have you so?  SUB 
It has stood still this half hour:  
And all the rest of our less works gone back.  
Where is the instrument of wickedness,  
My lewd false drudge?  MAM. 
Nay, good sir, blame not him.  
Believe me, 'twas against his will, or knowledge.  
I saw her by chance.  SUB 
Will you commit more sin,  
T'excuse a varlet?  MAM. 
By my hope, 'tis true, sir.  Sub. 
Nay, than I wonder less, if you, for whom  
The blessing was prepared, would so tempt heaven:  
And lose your fortunes.  MAM. 
Why, sir  SUB 
This'll retard  
The work, a month at least.  MAM. 
Why, if it do,  
What remedy? but think it not, good father:  
Our purposes were honest.  Sub. 
As they were,  A great crack and noise within. 
So the reward will prove. How now! Ay me.  
God, and all Saints be good to vs. What's that?  FAC. 
O sir, we are defeated! all the works  
Are flown in fumo: every glass is burst.  
Furnace, and all rend down! as if a bolt  
Of thunder had been driven through the house.  
Retorts, Receivers, Pelicans, Bolt-heads  
All struck in shivers! Help, good sir! Alas,  Subtle falls down as ina swoon. 
Coldness and death invades him. Nay, sir MAMMON,  
Do the fair offices of a man! You stand,  
As you were readier to depart, than he.  
Who's there? My lord her brother is come.  One knocks MAM. 
Ha, Lungs?  FAC. 
His coach is at the door. Avoid his sight,  
For he's as furious, as his sister is mad.  MAM. 
Alas!  FAC. 
My brain is quite un-done with the fume, sir,  
I ne'er must hope to be mine own man again.  MAM. 
Is all lost, Lungs? Will nothing be preserved,  
Of all our cost?  FAC. 
Faith, very little, sir.  
A peck of coals, or so, which is cold comfort, sir.  MAM. 
O my voluptuous mind! I am justly punished.  FAC. 
And so am I, sir.  MAM. 
Cast from all my hopes—  FAC. 
Nay, certainties, sir.  MAM. 
By mine own base affections.  SVB. 
Subtle seems come to himself. O, the cursed fruits of vice, and lust!  MAM. 
Good father,  
It was my sin. Forgive it.  SVB. 
Hangs my roof  
Over us still, and will not fall, O justice,  
Upon us, for this wicked man!  FAC. 
Nay, look, sir,  
You grieve him, now, with staying in his sight:  
Good sir, the noble man will come too, and take you,  
And that may breed a tragedy.  MAM. 
I'll go.  FAC. 
ay, and repent at home, sir. It may be,  
For some good penance, you may ha'it, yet,  
A hundred pound to the box at bedlam—  MAM. 
Yes.  FAC. 
For the restoring such as ha' their wits.  MAM. 
I'll do't.  FAC. 
I'll send one to you to receive it.  MAM. 
Do.  
Is no projection left?  FAC. 
All flown, or stinks, sir.  MAM. 
Will nought be saved, that's good for medicine, thinkst thou?  FAC. 
I cannot tell, sir. There will be, perhaps,  
Something, about the scraping of the shards,  
Will cure the itch: though not your itch of mind, sir.  
It shall be saved for you, and sent home. Good sir,  
This way: for fear the lord should meet you.  SVB. 
FACE.  FAC. 
I.  SVB. 
Is he gone?  FAC. 
Yes, and as heavily  
As all the gold he hoped for, were in his blood.  
Let us be light, though.  SVB. 
ay, as balls, and bound  
And hit our heads against the roof for joy:  
There's so much of our care now cast away.  FAC. 
Now to our Don.  SVB. 
Yes, your young widow, by this time  
Is made a Countess, FACE: Sh' has been in travail  
Of a young heir for you.  FAC. 
Good, sir.  SVB. 
Off with your case,  
And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should,  
After these common hazards.  FAC. 
Very well, sir.  
Will you go fetch Don DIEGO off, the while?  SVB. 
And fetch him over too, if you'll be pleased, sir:  
Would DOL were in her place, to pick his pockets now.  FAC. 
Why, you can do it as well, if you would set to't.  
I pray you prove your virtue.  SVB. 
For your sake, sir.   

Act IV. Scene VI.  SVRLY, DA. PLIANT, Subtle, FACE. 
LAdy, you see into what hands, you are fallen;  
'mongst what a nest of villains! and how near  
Your honour was t'have catched a certain clap  
(Through your credulity) had I but been  
So punctually forward, as place, time,  
And other circumstance would ha' made a man:  
For yo'are a handsome woman: would yo' were wise, too.  
I am a gentleman, come here disguised,  
Only to find the knaveries of this Citadel,  
And where I might have wronged your honour, and have not,  
I claim some interest in your love. You are,  
They say, a widow, rich: and I am a bachelor,  
Worth nought: Your fortunes may make me a man,  
As mine ha' preserved you a woman. Think upon it,  
And whether, I have deserved you, or no.  PLI. 
I will, sir.  SVB. 
And for these household-rogues, let me alone,  
To treat with them.  SVB. 
How doth my noble DIEGO?  
And my dear madame, Countess? Hath the Count  
Been courteous, lady? liberal? and open?  
Donzell, methinks you look melancholic,  
After your coitum, and scurvy! Truly,  
I do not like the dullness of your eye:  
It hath a heavy cast, 'tis upsee Dutch,  
And says you are a lumpish whoremaster.  
Be lighter, He falls to picking of them. I will make your pockets so.  SVR. 
Will you, Don bawd, and pickpurse? How now? Reel you?  
Stand up sir, you shall find since I am so heavy,  
I'll gi' you equal weight.  SVB. 
Help, murder!  SVR. 
No, sir.  
There's no such thing intended. A good cart,  
And a clean whip shall ease you of that fear.  
I am the Spanish Don, that should be cozened,  
Do you see? cozened? Where's your Captain FACE?  
That parcel-broker, and whole-bawd, all rascal.  FAC. 
How, SURLY!  SVR. 
O, make your approach, good Captain.  
I've found, from whence your copper rings, and spoons  
Come, now, wherewith you cheat abroad in taverns.  
'Twas here, you learned t'anoint your boot with brimstone,  
Then rub men's gold on't, for a kind of touch,  
And say 'twas nought, when you had changed the colour,  
That you might ha''t for nothing? And this Doctor,  
Your sooty, smoakie-bearded compear, he  
Will close you so much gold, in a bolts-head,  
And, on a turn, convey (i'the stead) another  
With sublimed Mercury, that shall burst i'the heat,  
And fly out all in fumo? Then weeps MAMMON;  
Then swoons his worship. Or, he is the FAUSTUS,  
That casteth figures, and can conjure, cures  
Plague, piles, and pox, by the Ephemerideses,  
And holds intelligence with all the bawds,  
And midwives of three shires? while you send in——  
Captain, (what is he gone?) dam'sells with child,  
Wives, that are barren, or, the waiting-maide  
With the green-sickness? Nay, sir, you must tarry  
Though he be scaped; and answer, by the ears, sir.   

Act IIII. Scene VII  FACE, KASTRIL, SURLEY, SUBTLE, DRUGGER, ANANIAS, DA. PLAINT, DOL 
WHy. now's the time, if ever you will quarrel  
Well (as they say) and be a trueborn child.  
The Doctor, and your sister both are abused.  KAS 
Where is he? which is he? he is a slave  
What ere he is, and the son of a whore. Are you  
The man, sir, I would know?  SUR 
I should be loath, sir,  
To confess so much.  KAS 
Then you lie, i' your throat.  SUR 
How?  FAC. 
A very errant rogue, sir, and a cheater,  
Employed here, by another conjuror,  
That does not love the Doctor, and would cross him  
If he knew how——  SUR 
Sir, you are abused  KAS 
You lie:  
And 'tis no matter.  FAC. 
Well said,, sir. He is  
The impdent'st rascal——  SUR 
You are indeed. Will you hear me, sir?  FAC. 
By no means: Bid him be gone.  KAS 
Be gone, sir, quickly.  SUR 
This's strange! Lady, do you inform your brother.  FAC. 
There is not such a foist, in all the town,  
The Doctor had him, presently: and finds, yet,  
The Spanish Count will come, here. Bear up, SUBTLE.  Sub. 
Yes, sir, he must appear, within this hour.  FAC. 
And yet this rogue, would come, in a disguise  
By the temptation of another spirit,  
To trouble our art, though he could not hurt it.  KAS 
I  
I know—— Away, you talk like a foolish mauther.  SUR 
Sir, all is truth, she says.  FAC. 
Do not believe him, sir:  
He is the lying'st Swabber! Come your ways, sir.  SUR 
You are valiant, out of company.  KAS 
Yes, how then, sir?  FAC. 
Nay, here's an honest fellow too, that knows him,  
And all his tricks. (Make good what I say, ABEL,)  
This cheater would ha' cozened thee o' the widow.  
He owes this honest DRUGGER, here, seven pound,  
He has had on him, in two-penny'orths of tobacco.  DRU. 
Yes sir. And h' has damned himself, three terms, to pay me.  FAC. 
And what does he owe for lotium?  DRU. 
Thirty shillings, sir:  
And for six syringes.  SUR 
HYDRA of villainy!  FAC. 
Nay, sir you must quarrel him out o' the house.  KAS 
I will.  
Sir, if you get not out o'dores, you lie:  
And you are a pimp.  SUR 
Why, this is madness, sir,  
Not valour in you: I must laugh at this.  KAS 
It is my humour: you are a Pimp, and a Trig,  
And an AMADIS de Gaul, or a Don QUIXOTE.  DRU. 
Or a Knight o'the curious coxcomb. Do you see?  ANA 
Peace to the household  KAS 
I'll keep peace, for no man.  ANA 
Casting of collars is concluded lawful.  KAS 
Is he the Constable?  SUB 
Peace, ANANIAS.  FAC. 
No, sir.  KAS 
Then you are an Otter, and a Shad, a whit,  
A very Tim.  SUR 
You'll hear me, sir?  KAS 
I will not.  ANA 
What is the motive?  Sub. 
Zeal, in the young gentleman,  
Against his Spanish slops——  ANA 
They are profane,  
Lewd, superstitious, and idolatrous breeches.  SUR 
New rascals!  KAS 
Will you be gone, sir?  ANA 
Avoid Satan,  
Thou are not of the light. That ruff of pride,  
About thy neck, betrays thee: 'and is the same  
With that, which the unclean birds, in seventy-seven,  
Were seen to prank it with, on divers coasts.  
Thou look'st like Antichrist, in that lewd hat.  SUR 
I must give way.  KAS 
Be gone, sir.  SUR 
But I'll take  
A course with you——  (ANA 
Depart, proud Spanish fiend.  SUR 
Captain, & Doctor——  ANA 
Child of perdition.  KAS 
Hence, sir.  
Did I not quarrel bravely?  KAS 
Yes, indeed, sir.  KAS 
Nay, and I give my mind to't, I shall do't.  FAC. 
O, you must follow, sir, and threaten him tame.  
he'll turn again else.  KAS 
I'll return him, then.  FAC. 
DRUGGER,, this rogue prevented us, for thee:  
We'had determined, that thou shouldst ha' come,  
In a Spanish suit, and ha' carried her so; and he  
A brokerly slave, goes, puts it on himself.  
Hast brought the damask?  DRU. 
Yes sir.  FAC. 
Thou must borrow,  
A Spanish suit. Hast thou no credit with the players?  DRU. 
Yes, sir, did you never see me play the fool?  FAC. 
I know not, NAB: thou shalt, if I can help it.  
HIERONYMO'S old cloak, ruff, and hat will serve,  
Subtle hath whispered with him this while. I'll tell thee more, when thou bringst 'em.  ANA. 
Sir, I know  
The Spaniard hates the Brethren, and hath spies  
Upon their actions: and that this was one  
I make no scruple. But the holy synod  
Have been in prayer, and meditation, for it.  
And 'tis revealed no less, to them, then me,  
That casting of money is most lawful.  SVB. 
True.  
But here, I cannot do it; if the house  
Should chance to be suspected, all would out,  
And we be locked up, in the tower, for ever,  
To make gold there (for th'state) never come out:  
And, then, are you defeated.  ANA. 
I will tell  
This to the Elders, and the weaker Brethren,  
That the whole company of the Separation  
May join in humble prayer again.  (SVB. 
And fasting.)  ANA. 
Yea, for some fitter place. The peace of mind  
Rest with these walls.  SVB. 
Thanks, courteous ANANIAS.  FAC. 
What did he come for?  SVB. 
About casting collars,  
Presently, out of hand. And so, I told him,  
A Spanish minister came here to spy,  
Against the faithful—  FAC. 
I conceive. Come Subtle,  
Thou art so down upon the least disaster!  
How wouldst thou ha' done, if I had not helped thee out?  SVB. 
I thank thee FACE, for the angry Boy, i'faith.  FAC. 
Who would ha' looked, it should ha' been that rascal?  
surly? He had died his beard, and all. Well, sir,  
Here's damask come, to make you a suit.  SVB. 
Where's DRUGGER?  FAC. 
He is gone to borrow me a Spanish habit,  
I'll be the Count, now.  SVB. 
But where's the widow?  FAC. 
Within, with my Lord's sister: Madame DOL  
Is entertaining her.  SVB. 
By your favour, FACE,  
Now she is honest, I will stand again.  FAC. 
You will not offer it?  SVR. 
Why?  FAC. 
Stand to your word,  
Or— here comes  DOL. 
She knows—  SVB. 
You're tyrannous still.  FAC. 
Strict for my right. How now, DOL? Hast'told her,  
The Spanish Count will come?  DOL. 
Yes, but another is come,  
You little looked for!  FAC. 
Who's that?  DOL. 
Your master:  
The master of the house.  SVB. 
How, DOL!  FAC. 
she lies.  
This is some trick. Come, leave your quiblins, Dorothy.  DOL. 
Look out, and see.  SVB. 
Art thou in earnest?  DOL. 
'Slight,  
forty o' the neighbours are about him, talking.  FAC. 
'Tis he, by this good day.  DOL. 
'Twill prove ill day,  
For some on us.  FAC. 
We are undone, and taken.  DOL. 
Lost, I'm afraid.  SVB. 
You said he would not come,  
While there died one a week, within the liberties.  FAC. 
No: 'twas within the walls.  SVB. 
Was't so? Cry you mercy:  
I thought the liberties. What shall we do now, FACE?  FAC. 
Be silent: not a word, if he call, or knock.  
I'll into mine old shape again, and meet him,  
Of jeremy, the butler. I' the mean time,  
Do you two pack up all the goods, and purchase,  
That we can carry i'the two trunks. I'll keep him  
Off for today, if I cannot longer: and then  
At night, I'll ship you both away to Ratcliffe,  
Where we'll meet tomorrow, and there we'll share.  
Let MAMMON'S brass, and pewter keep the cellar:  
we'll have another time for that. But, DOL,  
Pray thee, go heat a little water, quickly,  
Subtle must shave me. All my captains beard  
Must off, to make me appear smooth jeremy.  
You'll do't?  SVB. 
Yes, I'll shave you, as well as I can.  FAC. 
And not cut my throat, but trim me?  SVB. 
You shall see, sir.    


Act V. Scene I.  LOVE-WIT, NEIGHBOURS. 
HAs there been such resort, say you?  NEI. 1. 
Daily, sir.  NEI. 2. 
And nightly, too.  NEI. 3. 
ay, some as brave as lords.  NEI. 4. 
Ladies, and gentlewomen.  NEI. 5. 
citizen's wives.  NEI. 1. 
And knights.  NEI. 6. 
In coaches.  NEI. 2. 
Yes, & oysterwomen.  NEI. 1. 
Beside other gallants.  NEI. 3. 
sailor's wives.  NEI. 4. 
tobacco-men.  NEI. 5. 
Another Pimlico!  LOV. 
What should my knave advance,  
To draw this company? He hung out no banners  
Of a strange Calf, with five legs, to be seen?  
Or a huge Lobster, with six claws?  NEI. 6. 
No, sir.  NEI. 3. 
We had gone in then, sir.  LOV. 
He has no gift  
Of teaching i'the nose, that ere I knew of!  
You saw no Bills set up, that promised cure  
Of agues, or the toothache?  NEI. 2. 
No such thing, sir.  LOV. 
Nor heard a drum struck, for Baboons, or Puppets?  NEI. 5. 
Neither, sir.  LOV. 
What device should he bring forth now!  
I love a teeming wit, as I love my nourishment.  
Pray god he ha' not kept such open house,  
That he hath sold my hangings, and my bedding:  
I left him nothing else. If he have eat 'em,  
A plague o' the moth, say I. Sure he has got  
Some bawdy pictures, to call all this ging;  
The Friar, and the Nun; or the new Motion  
Of the Knight's courser, covering the Parson's mare;  
The Boy of six year old, with the great thing;  
Or 'tmay be, he has the Fleas that run at tilt,  
Upon a table, or some Dog to dance?  
When saw you him?  NEI 1 
Who sir, JEREMY?  NEI 2 
JEREMY butler?  
We saw him not this month.  LOV 
How!  NEI 4 
Not these 5. weeks, sir.  NEI 
These six weeks, at the least.  LOV 
Yo'amaze me, neighbours!  NEI 5 
Sure, if your worship know not where he is,  
he's slipped away.  NEI 6 
Pray god, he be not made away!  He knocks LOV 
Ha? It's no time to question, then.  NEI 6 
About  
Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry,  
And I sat up, a mending my wife's stockings.  LOV 
'Tis strange! that none will answer! Didst thou hear  
A cry, sayst thou?  NEI 6 
Yes, sir, like unto a man  
That had been strangled an hour, and could not speak.  NEI 2 
I heard it too, just this day three weeks, at two a clock  
Next morning.  LOV 
These be miracles, or you make 'em so!  
A man an hour strangled, and could not speak,  
And both you heard him cry?  MNEI. 3 
Yes, downward, sir.  LOV 
Thou art a wise fellow: Give me thy hand I pray thee.  
What trade art thou on?  NEI 3 
A smith, an't please your worship.  LOV 
A smith? Then, lend me thy help, to get this door open.  NEI 3 
That I will presently, sir, but fetch my tools——  NEI 1 
Sir, best so knock again, afore you break it.   

Act V. Scene TWO  LOVE- WIT, FACE, NEIGHBOURS. 
I will.  FAC. 
What mean you, sir?  NEI 1.2.4. 
O, here's JEREMY!  FAC. 
Good sir, come from the door.  LOV 
Why! what's the matter?  FAC. 
Yet farther, you are too near, yet.  LOV 
I' the name of wonder!  
What means the fellow?  FAC. 
The house, sir, has been visited.  LOV 
What? with the plague? stand thou then farther.  FAC. 
No sir,  
I had it not.  LOV 
Who had it then: I left  
None else, but thee, i' the house!  FAC. 
Yes, sir. My fellow,  
The cat, that kept the buttery, had it on her  
A week, before I spied it: but I got her  
Conveyed away, i'the night. And so I shut  
The house up for a month——  LOV 
How!  FAC. 
Purposing then, sir,  
T' have burnt rose-vinegar, triackle, and tar,  
And, ha' made it sweet, that you should ne'er ha' known it:  
Because I knew the news woulld but afflict you, sir.  LOV 
Breath less, and farther off. Why, this is stranger!  
The neighbours tell me all, here, that the doors  
Have still been open——  FAC. 
How, sir!  Lov 
Gallants, men, and women,  
And of all sorts, tagrag, been seen to flock here  
In threaves, these ten weeks, ass to a second Hogsden,  
In days of Pimlico, and eyebright!  FAC. 
Sir,  
Their wisdoms will not say so!  LOV 
Today, they speak  
Of coaches, and gallants; one in a French-hood,  
Went in, they tell me: and another was seen  
In a velvet gown, at the window! diverse more  
Pass in and out!  FAC. 
They did pass through the doors then,  
Or walls, I assure their eye-sights, and their spectacles;  
For here, sir, are the keys; and here have been,  
In this my pocket, now, above twenty days!  
And for before, I kept the fort alone, there.  
But, that 'tis yet not deep i' the afternoon,  
I should believe my neighbours had seen double  
Through the black-pot, and made these apparitions!  
For, on my faith, to your worship, for these three weeks,  
And upwards, the door has not been opened.  LOV 
Strange!  NEI 1 
Good faith, I think I saw a coach!  NEI 2 
And I too,  
I'd ha' been sworn!  LOV 
Do you but think it now?  
And but one coach?  NEI 4 
We cannot tell, sir: JEREMY  
Is a very honest fellow.  FAC. 
Did you see me at all?  NEI 1 
No. That we are sure on.  NEI 2 
I'll be sworn o' that.  LOV 
Fine rogues, to have your testimonies built on!  NEI 3 
Is JEREMY come?  NEI 1 
O, yes, you may leave your tools,  
We were deceived, he says.  NEI 2 
He'has had the keys:  
And the door has been shut these three weeks.  NEI 3 
Like enough.  LOV 
Peace, and get hence, you changelings.  FAC. 
SURLY come!  
And MAMMON made acquainted? They'll tell all.  
How shall I beat them off? What shall I do?)  
Nothing's more wretched, than a guilty conscience.   

ACT V. Scene III.  SURLY, MAMMON, LOVE- WIT, FACE, NEIGHBOURS, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, DAPPER, SUBTLE 
No, sir, he was a great physician. This  
It was no bawdy-house: but a mere Chancel.  
You knew the lord, and his sister.  MAM. 
Nay, good SURLY——  SURLY 
The happy word, be rich——  MAM. 
Play not the tyrant ———  SVR. 
Should be today pronounced, to all your friends.  
And where be your andirons now? and your brass pots?  
That should ha' been golden flagons, and great wedges?  MAM. 
Let me but breath. What! They ha' shut their doors,  
Mammon and Surly knock. Methinks!  SVR. 
ay, now, 'tis holiday with them.  MAM. 
Rogues,  
Cozeners, impostors, bawds.  FAC. 
What mean you, sir?  MAM. 
To enter if we can.  FAC. 
Another man's house?  
Here is the owner, sir. Turn you to him,  
And speak your business.  MAM. 
Are you, sir, the owner?  LOV. 
Yes, sir.  MAM. 
And are those knaves, within, your cheaters?  LOV. 
What knaves? what cheaters?  MAM. 
Subtle, and his Lungs.  FAC. 
The gentleman is distracted, sir! No lungs,  
Nor lights ha' been seen here these three weeks, sir,  
Within these doors, upon my word!  SVR. 
Your word,  
Groom arrogant?  FAC. 
Yes, sir, I am the housekeeper,  
And know the keys ha' not been out o' my hands.  SVR. 
This's a new FACE?  FAC. 
You do mistake the house, sir!  
What sign was't at?  SVR. 
You rascal! This is one  
O' the confederacy. Come, let's get officers,  
And force the door.  LOV. 
Pray you stay, gentlemen.  SVR. 
No, sir, we'll come with warrant.  MAM. 
ay, and then,  
We shall ha' your doors open.  LOV. 
What means this?  FAC. 
I cannot tell, sir!  NEI. 1. 
These are two o'the gallants,  
That we do think we saw.  FAC. 
Two o' the fools?  
You talk as idly as they. Good faith, sir,  
I think the Moon has crazed 'em all! (O me,  
The angry Boy come too? he'll make a noise,  
And near away till he have betrayed us all.)  KAS. 
Kastrill knocks. What rogues, bawds, slaves, you'll open the door anon,  
punk, cockatrice, my sister. By this light  
I'll fetch the marshal to you. You are a whore,  
To keep your castle—  FAC. 
Who would you speak with, sir?  KAS. 
The bawdy Doctor, and the cozening Captain,  
And PUS my sister.  LOV. 
This is something, sure!  FAC. 
Upon my trust, the doors were never open, sir.  KAS. 
I have heard all their tricks, told me twice over,  
By the fat knight, and the lean gentleman.  LOV. 
Here comes another.  FAC. 
ANANIAS too?  
And his Pastor?  TRI. 
The doors are shut against us.  ANA. 
They beat too, at the door. Come forth, you seed of sulphur, sons of fire,  
Your stench, it is broke forth: abomination  
Is in the house.  KAS. 
ay, my sister's there.  ANA. 
The place,  
It is become a cage of unclean birds.  KAS. 
Yes, I will fetch the scavenger, and the constable.  TRI. 
You shall do well.  ANA. 
we'll join, to weed them out.  KAS. 
You will not come then? punk, device, my sister!  ANA. 
Call her not sister. she is a harlot, verily.  KAS. 
I'll raise the street.  LOV. 
Good gentlemen, a word.  ANA. 
Sathan, avoid, and hinder not our zeal.  LOV. 
The world's turned bedlam.  FAC. 
These are all broke loose,  
Out of S. Katherns, where they use to keep,  
The better sort of mad-folks.  NEI. 1. 
All these persons  
We saw go in, and out, here.  NEI. 2. 
Yes, indeed, sir.  NEI. 3. 
These were the parties.  FAC. 
Peace, you drunkards. Sir,  
I wonder at it! Please you, to give me leave  
To touch the door, I'll try, an' the lock be changed.  LOV. 
It mazes me!  FAC. 
Good faith, sir, I believe,  
There's no such thing. 'Tis all deceptio visus.  
Would I could get him away.  DAP. 
Master Captain, Dapper cries out within. master Doctor.  LOV. 
Who's that?  FAC. 
(Our clerk within, that I forgot!) I know not, sir.  DAP. 
For God's sake, when will her Grace be at leisure?  FAC. 
Ha!  
Illusions, some spirit o'the air: (his gag is melted,  
And now he sets out the throat.)  DAP. 
I am almost stifled—  (FAC. 
Would you were altogether.)  LOV. 
'Tis i'the house.  
Ha! List.  FAC. 
Believe it, sir, i' the air!  LOV. 
Peace, you—  DAP. 
Mine ants Grace does not use me well.  SVB. 
You fool,  
Peace, you'll mar all.  FAC. 
Or you will else, you rogue.  LOV. 
O, is it so? Then you converse with spirits!  
Come sir. No more o'your tricks, good jeremy,  
The truth, the shortest way.  FAC. 
Dismiss this rabble, sir.  
What shall I do? I am catched.  LOV. 
Good neighbours,  
I thank you all. You may depart. Come sir,  
You know that I am an indulgent master:  
And therefore, conceal nothing. What's your medicine,  
To draw so many several sorts of wildfowl?  FAC. 
Sir, you were wont to affect mirth, and wit:  
(But here's no place to talk on't i'the street.)  
Give me but leave, to make the best of my fortune,  
And only pardon me th'abuse of your house:  
It's all I beg. I'll help you to a widow,  
In recompense, that you shall gi' me thanks for,  
Will make you seven years younger, and a rich one.  
'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloak,  
I have her within. You need not fear the house,  
It was not visited.  LOV. 
But by me, who came  
Sooner than you expected.  FAC. 
It is true, sir.  
Pray you forgive me.  LOV. 
Well: let's see your widow.   

Act V. Scene IIII.  Subtle, DAPPER, FACE, DOL. 
HOw! ha' you eaten your gag?  DAP. 
Yes faith, it crumbled  
Away i' my mouth.  SVB. 
You ha' spoiled all then.  DAP. 
No,  
I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.  SVB. 
Your aunt's a gracious lady: but in troth  
You were to blame.  DAP. 
The fume did overcome me,  
And I did do't to stay my stomach. Pray you  
So satisfy her Grace. Here comes the Captain.  FAC. 
How now! Is his mouth down?  SVB. 
I! he has spoken!  FAC. 
(A pox, I heard him, and you too.) he's undone, then.  
(I have been feign to say, the house is haunted  
With spirits, to keep churl back.  SVB. 
And hast thou done it?  FAC. 
Sure, for this night.  SVB. 
Why, then triumph, and sing  
Of FACE so famous, the precious king  
Of present wits.  FAC. 
Did you not hear the coil,  
About the door?  SVB. 
Yes, and I dwindled with it.)  FAC. 
Show him his aunt, and let him be dispatched:  
I'll send her to you.  SVB. 
Well sir, your aunt her Grace,  
Will give you audience presently, on my suit,  
And the captains word, that you did not eat your gag,  
In any contempt of her Highness.  DAP. 
Not I, in troth, sir.  SVB. 
Dol like the Queen of Fairy. Here she is come. Down o'your knees, and wriggle:  
She has a stately presence. Good. Yet nearer,  
And bid, God save you.  DAP. 
Madame.  SVB. 
And your aunt.  DAP. 
And my most gracious aunt, god save your Grace.  DOL. 
Nephew, we thought to have been angry with you:  
But that sweet face of yours, hath turned the tide,  
And made it flow with joy, that ebbed of love.  
Arise, and touch our velvet gown.  SVB. 
The skirts,  
And kiss 'em. So.  DOL. 
Let me now stroke that head,  
Much, nephew, shalt thou win; much shalt thou spend;  
Much shalt thou give away: much shalt thou lend.  SVB. 
(ay, much, indeed.) Why do you not thank her Grace?  DAP. 
I cannot speak, for joy.  SVB. 
See, the kind wretch!  
Your grace's kinsman right.  DOL. 
Give me the Bird.  
Here is your Fly in a purse, about your neck, cozen,  
Wear it, and feed it, about this day sevennight,  
On your right wrist—  SVB. 
Open a vein, with a pin,  
And let it suck but once a week: till then,  
You must not look on't.  DOL. 
No. And, kinsman,  
Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on.  SVB. 
Her grace would ha'you eat no more Woolsack pies,  
Nor Dagger frumenty.  DOL. 
Nor break his fast,  
In heaven, and hell.  SVB. 
she's with you everywhere!  
Nor play with Costermongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip.  
God make you rich, (whenas your aunt has done it:) but keep  
The gallantest company, and the best games—  DAP. 
Yes, sir.  SVB. 
Gleek and primero: and what you get, be true to us.  DAP. 
By this hand, I will.  SVB. 
You may bring's a thousand pound,  
Before tomorrow night, (if but three thousand,  
Be stirring) an' you will.  DAP. 
I swear, I will then.  SVB. 
Your Ply will learn you all games.  FAC. 
Ha' you done there?  SVB. 
Your grace will command him no more duties?  DOL. 
No:  
But come, and see me often. I may chance  
To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure,  
And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land:  
If he game well, and comely, with good gamesters.  SVB. 
There's a kind aunt! kiss her departing part.  
But you must sell you forty mark a year, now:  DAP. 
ay, sir, I mean.  SVB. 
Or, gi't away: pox on't.  FAC. 
I'll gi't mine aunt. I'll go and fetch the writings.  SVB. 
'Tis well, away.  FAC. 
Where's Subtle?  SVB. 
Here. What news?  FAC. 
DRUGGER is at the door, go take his suit,  
And bid him fetch a Parson, presently:  
Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend  
A hundred pound by the service! Now, queen DOL,  
Ha' you packed up all?  DOL. 
Yes.  FAC. 
And how do you like  
The lady PLIANT?  DOL. 
A good dull innocent.  SVB. 
Here's your HIERONIMO'S cloak, and hat.  FAC. 
Give me 'em.  SVB. 
And the ruff too?  FAC. 
Yes, I'll come to you presently.  SVB. 
Now, he is gone about his project, DOL,  
I told you of, for the widow.  DOL. 
'Tis direct  
Against our articles.  SVB. 
Well, we'll fit him, wench.  
Hast thou gulled her of her jewels, or her bracelets?  DOL. 
No, but I will do't.  SVB. 
Soon at night, my DOLLY,  
When we are shipped, and all our goods aboard,  
Eastward for Ratcliffe; we will turn our course  
To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word:  
And take our leaves of this o'erweening rascal,  
This peremptory FACE.  DOL. 
Content, I'm weary of him.  SVB. 
Tho' haste cause, when the slave will run a wiving, DOL,  
Against the instrument, that was drawn between us.  DOL. 
I'll pluck his bird as bare as I can.  SVB. 
Yes, tell her,  
She must by any means, address some present  
To th' cunning man; make him amends, for wronging  
His art with her suspicion; send a ring;  
Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else  
Extremely in her sleep, say: and ha' strange things  
Come to her. Wilt thou?  DOL. 
Yes.  SVB. 
My fine flittermouse,  
My bird o' the night; we'll tickle it at the pigeons,  
When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,  
They kiss. And say, this's mine, and thine, and thine, and mine—  FAC. 
What now, a billing?  SVB. 
Yes, a little exalted  
In the good passage of our stock-affairs.  FAC. 
DRUGGER has brought his Parson, take him in, Subtle,  
And send NAB back again, to wash his face.  SVB. 
I will: and shave himself?  FAC. 
If you can get him.  DOL. 
You are hot upon it, FACE, whate'er it is!  FAC. 
A trick, that DOL shall spend ten pound a month by.  
Is he gone?  SVB. 
The Chaplain waits you i' the hall, sir.  FAC. 
I'll go bestow him.  DOL. 
he'll now marry her, instantly.  SVB. 
He cannot, yet, he is not ready. Dear DOL,  
cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him  
Is no deceit, but justice, that would break  
Such an inextricable tie as ours was.  DOL. 
Let me alone to fit him.  FAC. 
Come, my venturers,  
You ha' packed up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.  SVB. 
Here.  FAC. 
Let's see 'em. Where's the money?  SVB. 
Here,  
In this.  FAC. 
Mammon's ten pound: eight score before.  
The brethren's money, this. DRVGGERS, and DAPPERS.  
What paper's that?  DOL. 
The jewel of the waiting maids,  
That stole it from her lady, to know certain—  FAC. 
If she should have precedence of her mistress?  DOL. 
Yes.  FAC. 
What box is that?  SVB. 
The fishwives rings, I think:  
And th'alewives single money. Is't not DOL?  DOL. 
Yes: and the whistle, that the sailors wife  
Brought you, to know, and her husband were with WARD.  FAC. 
we'll wet it tomorrow: and our silver-beakers,  
And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats,  
And girdles, and hangers?  SVB. 
Here, i' the trunk,  
And the bolts of lawn.  FAC. 
Is DRVGGERS damask, there?  
And the tobacco?  SVB. 
Yes.  FAC. 
Give me the keys.  DOL. 
Why you the keys!  SVB. 
No matter, DOL: because  
We shall not open 'em, before he comes.  FAC. 
'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed:  
Nor have 'em forth. Do you see? Not forth, DOL.  DOL. 
No!  FAC. 
No, my smock-rampant. The right is, my master  
Knows all, has pardoned me, and he will keep 'em,  
Doctor, 'tis true (you look) for all your figures:  
I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,  
Both he, and she, be satisfied: for, here  
Determines the indenture tripartite,  
Twixt Subtle, DOL, and FACE. All I can do  
Is to help you over the wall, o' the backside;  
Or lend you a sheet, to save your velvet gown, DOL.  
Here will be officers, presently; bethink you,  
Of some course suddenly to scape the dock:  
For thither you'll come else. Some knock. Hark you, thunder.  SYB. 
You are a precious fiend!  OFF. 
Open the door.  FAC. 
DOL, I am sorry for thee i'faith. But hearst thou?  
It shall go hard, but I will place thee somewhere:  
Thou shalt ha' my letter to mistress AMO.  DOL. 
Hang you—  FAC. 
Or madame Caesarean.  DOL. 
Pox upon you, rogue,  
Would I had but time to beat thee.  FAC. 
Subtle,  
Let's know where you set up next; I'll send you  
A customer, now and then, for old acquaintance:  
What new course ha'you?  SVB. 
Rogue, I'll hang myself:  
That I may walk a greater devil, than thou,  
And haunt thee i' the flock-bed, and the buttery.   

Act V. Scene V.  LOVE-WIT, OFFICERS, MAMMON, SVRLY, FACE, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, DRUGGER, DA. PLIANT. 
WHat do you mean, my masters?  MAM. 
Open your door,  
Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.  OFF. 
Or we'll break it open.  LOV. 
What warrant have you?  OFF. 
Warrant enough, sir, doubt not:  
If you'll not open it.  LOV. 
Is there an officer, there?  OFF. 
Yes, two, or three for failing.  LOV. 
Have but patience,  
And I will open it straight.  FAC. 
Sir, ha' you done?  
Is it a marriage? perfect?  LOV. 
Yes, my brain.  FAC. 
Off with your ruff, and cloak then, be yourself, sir.  SVR. 
Down with the door.  KAS. 
'Slight, ding it open.  LOV. 
Hold.  
Hold gentlemen, what means this violence?  MAM. 
Where is this collier?  SVR. 
And my Captain FACE?  MAM. 
These day-owls.  SVR. 
That are birding in men's purses.  MAM. 
Madame Suppository.  KAS. 
Doxy, my sister.  ANA. 
Locusts  
Of the foul pit.  TRI. 
Profane as BAEL, and the Dragon.  ANA. 
Worse than the Grasshoppers, or the Lice of Egypt.  LOV. 
Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you officers,  
And cannot stay this violence?  OFF. 
Keep the peace.  LOV. 
Gentlemen, what is the matter? Whom do you seek?  MAM. 
The Chemical cozener  SUR 
And the Captain Pander  KAS 
The Nun my sister.  MAM. 
Madame Rabbi  ANA 
Scorpions  
And Caterpillars.  LOV 
Fewer at once, I pray you.  OF 
One after another, gentlemen, I charge you,  
By virtue of my staff——  ANA 
They are the vessels  
Of pride, lust, and the cart.  LOV 
Good zeal, lie still,  
A little while.  TRI 
Peace, Deacon ANANIAS.  LOV 
The house is mine, and the doors are open:  
If there be any such persons, as you seek for,  
Use your authorities, search on o'gods' name.  
I am but newly come to town, and finding  
This tumult 'bout my door (to tell you true)  
It somewhat mazed me; till my man, here, (fearing  
My more displeasure) told me had done  
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house  
Belike, presuming on my known aversion  
From any air o' the town, while there was sickness)  
To a Doctor, and a Captain: who, what they are,  
Or where they be, he knows not.  They enter. MAM. 
Are they gone?  LOV 
You may go in, and search, sir. Here, I find  
The empty walls, worse than I left 'em, smoked  
A few cracked pots, and glasses, and a furnace,  
The ceiling filled with poesies of the candle:  
And MADAME, with a Dildo, writ o' the walls.  
Only, one gentlewoman, I met here,  
That is within, that said she was a widow——  KAS 
I that's my sister. I'll go thump her. Where is she?  LOV 
And should ha' married a Spanish Count, but he,  
When he came to't, neglected her so grossly,  
That I, a widower, am gone through with her.  SUR 
How! Have I lost her then?  LOV 
Were you the Don, sir?  
Good faith, now, she does blame yo' extremely, and says  
You swore, and told her, your had ta'en the pains,  
To die your beard, and umbre o'er your face,  
Borrowed a suit, and ruff, all for her love;  
And then did nothing. What an oversight,  
And want of putting forward, sir, was this!  
Well far an old Hargubuzier, yet,  
Can prime his powder, and give fire, and hit,  
All in a twinkling.  MAM. 
The whole nest are fled!  LOV 
What sort of birds were they?  Mammon comes forth MAM. 
A kind of Choughes,  
Or thievish Daws, sir, that have picked my purse  
Of eigh-score, and ten pounds, within these five weeks,  
Beside my first materials; and my goods,  
That lie i' the cellar: which I am glad they ha' left.  
I may have home yet.  LOV 
Think you so, sir?  MAM. 
I.  LOV 
By order of law, sir, but not otherwise.  MAM. 
Not mine own stuff?  LOV 
I can take no knowledge,  
That they are yours, but by public means.  
If you can bring certificate, that you were gulled of 'em,  
Or any formal writ, out of a court,  
That you did cozen yourself: I will not hold them.  MAM. 
I'll rather lose 'em.  LOV 
That you shall not, sir,  
By me, in, troth, Upon these terms they're yours.  
What should they ha' been, sir, turned into gold all?  MAM. 
No.  
I cannot tell. It may be they should. What then?  LOV 
What a great loss in hope have you sustained?  MAM. 
Not I, the commonwealth has.  FAC. 
I, he would ha' built  
The city new; and made a ditch about it  
Of silver, should have run with cream from Hogsden:  
That, every sunday in morefield's, the younkers,  
And tits, and tomboys should have fed on, gratis.  MAM. 
I will go mount a turnep-cart, and preach  
The end o' the world, within these two months. SURLY,  
What! in a dream?  SUR 
Must I needs cheat myself,  
With that same foolish vice of honesty!  
Come let us go, and hearken out the rogues.  
That FACE I'll mark for mine, if ere I meet him.  FAC. 
If I can hear of him, sir, I'll bring you word,  
Unto your lodging: for in troth, they were strangers  
To me, I thought 'em honest, as myself, sir.  They come forth TRI 
/'tis well, the Saints shall not lose all yet. Go,  
And get some carts——  LOV 
For what, my zealous friends?  ANA 
To bear away the portion of the righteous  
Out of this den of thieves.  LOV 
What is that portion?  ANA 
The goods, sometimes the Orphans, that the Brethren,  
Bought with their silver pence.  LOV 
What, those i' the cellar,  
The knight sir MAMMON claims?  ANA 
I do defy  
The wicked MAMMNON, so do all the Brethren,  
Thou profane man. I ask thee, with what conscience  
Thou canst advance that Idol, against us,  
That have the seal? Were not the pounds told out,  
Upon the second day of the fourth week,  
In the eight month, upon the table dormant,  
The year, of the last patience of the Saints,  
Six hundred and ten.  LOV 
Mine earnest vehement botcher,  
And Deacon also, I cannot dispute with you,  
But, if you get you not away the sooner,  
I shall confute you with a cudgel.  ANA 
Sir.  
 TRI. 
Be patient ANANIAS.  ANA. 
I am strong,  
And will stand up, well girt, against an host,  
That threaten GAD in exile.  LOV. 
I shall send you  
To Amsterdam, to your cellar.  ANA. 
I will pray there,  
Against thy house: may dogs defile thy walls,  
And wasps, and hornets breed beneath thy roof,  
This seat of falsehood, and this cave of cozenage.  LOV. 
Another too?  DRV. 
Not I sir, I am no Brother.  LOV. 
Drueger enters, and he beats him away. Away you HARRY NICHOLAS, do you talk?  To the Parson. FAC. 
No, this was ABEL DRUGGER. Good sir, go,  
And satisfy him; tell him, all is done:  
He stayed too long a washing of his face.  
The Doctor, he shall hear of him at Westchester;  
And of the Captain, tell him at Yarmouth: or  
Some good port-town else, lying for a wind.  
If you get off the angry Child, now, sir—  KAS. 
To his sister. Come on, you yew, you have matched most sweetly, ha' you not?  
Did not I say, I would never ha' you tupped  
But by a dubbed Boy, to make you a lady-Tom?  
'Slight, you are a mammet! O, I could touse you, now.  
Death, mun' you marry with a pox?  LOV. 
You lie, Boy;  
As sound as you: and I am aforehand with you.  KAS. 
anon?  LOV. 
Come, will you quarrel? I will feeze you, sirrah.  
Why do you not buckle to your tools?  KAS. 
God's light!  
This is a fine old Boy, as ere I saw!  LOV. 
What, do you change your copy, now? Proceed,  
Here stands my dove: stoup at her, if you dare.  KAS. 
'Slight I must love him! I cannot choose, i'faith!  
And I should be hanged for't. Sister, I protest,  
I honour thee, for this match.  LOV. 
O, do you so, sir?  KAS. 
Yes, and thou canst take tobacco, and drink, old Boy,  
I'll give her five hundred pound more, to her marriage,  
Than her own state.  LOV. 
Fill a pipeful, jeremy.  FAC. 
Yes, but go in, and take it, sir.  LOV. 
We will.  
I will be ruled by thee in any thing, jeremy.  KAS. 
'Slight, thou art not hidebound! thou art a Iouy' Boy!  
Come let's in, I pray thee, and take our whiffs.  LOV. 
Whiff in with your sister, brother Boy. That master  
That had received such happiness by a servant,  
In such a widow, and with so much wealth,  
Were very ungrateful, if he would not be  
A little indulgent to that servants wit,  
And help his fortune, though with some small strain  
Of his own candour. Therefore, gentlemen,  
And kind Spectators, if I have outstripped  
An old man's gravity, or strict canon, think  
What a young wife, and a good brain may do:  
Stretch age's truth sometimes, and crack it too.  
Speak for thyself, knave.  FAC. 
So I will, sir. Gentlemen,  
My part a little fell in this last Scene,  
Yet 'twas decorum. And though I am clean  
Got off, from Subtle, SURLY, MAMMON, DOL,  
Hot ANANIAS, DAPPER, DRUGGER, all  
With whom I traded; yet I put myself  
On you, that are my country: and this pelf,  
Which I have got, if you do quit me, rests  
To feast you often, and invite new guests.    

This Comedy was first acted, in the year 1610.  
By the king's majesties SERVANTS.  
The principal comedians were, 

RIC. BURBADGE.  
IOH. LOWIN.  
HEN. CONDEL.  
ALEX. COOKE.  
ROB. ARMIN.  
IOH. HEMINGS.  
WILL. OSTLER.  
IOH. uNDERWOOD.  
NIC. TOOLY.  
WILL. EGLESTONE.    
With the allowance of the Master of revels.