EVERY MAN IN his Humour.  
As it hath been sundry times publicly acted by the right Honourable the Lord Chamberlain his servants.  
Written by BEN. JOHNSON.  
Quod non dant proceres, dabit Histrio.  
Hand tamen invidias vati, quem pulpita pascunt.  
Imprinted at London for Walter Burr, and are to be sold at his shop in Paul's Churchyard. 1601.   

The number and names of the Actors.  

Lorenzo signior.  
Prospero.  
Thorello.  
Stephano.  
Doctor Clement.  
Bobadilla.  
Musco.  
Cob.  
Giulliano.  
Lorenzo junior.  
Biancha.  
Hesperida.  
Peto.  
Matheo.  
Pizo.  
Tib.    

EVERY MAN in his Humour.  

ACTUS PRIMUS,  

SCENA PRIMA.  Enter Lorenzo di Pazzi Senior, Musco. 
NOw trust me, here's a goodly day toward. Musco, call up my son Lorenzo: bid him rise: tell him, I have some business to employ him in.  Mus. 
I will, sir, presently.  Lore. se. 
But hear you, sirrah;  
If he be at study, disturb him not.  Mus. 
Very good, sir.  Exit Musco. Lore. se. 
How happy would I estimate myself,  
Could I (by any mean) retire my son,  
From one vain course of study he affects?  
He is a scholar (if a man may trust  
The liberal voice of double-tounged report)  
Of dear account, in all our Academies.  
Yet this position must not breed in me  
A fast opinion, that he cannot err.  
Myself was once a student, and indeed  
Fed with the self-same humour he is now,  
Dreaming on nought but idle Poetry:  
But since, Experience hath awaked my sprit's,  Enter Stephano. 
And reason taught them, how to comprehend  
The sovereign use of study. What, cousin Stephano?  
What news with you, that you are here so early?  Steph. 
Nothing: but e'en come to see how you do, uncle.  Lore. se. 
That's kindly done, you are welcome, cousin.  Steph. 
ay, I know that sir, I would not have come else: how doth my cousin, uncle?  Lore. se. 
Oh well, well, go in and see; I doubt he's scarce stirring yet.  Steph. 
Uncle, afore I go in, can you tell me, and he have e'er a book of the sciences of hawking and hunting? I would fain borrow it.  Lor. 
Why I hope you will not a hawking now, will you?  Step. 
No wiss; but i'll practise against next year: I have bought me a hawk, and bells and all; I lack nothing but a book to keep it by.  Lor. 
Oh most ridiculous.  Step. 
Nay look you now, you are angry uncle, why you know, and a man have not skill in hawking and hunting now a days, i'll not give a rush for him; he is for no gentleman's company, and (by Gods will) I scorn it I, so I do, to be a consort for every humdrum; hang them scroiles, there's nothing in them in the world, what do you talk on it? a gentleman must show himself like a gentleman, uncle I pray you be not angry, I know what I have to do I trow, I am no novice.  Lor. 
Go to, you are a prodigal, and self-willed fool,  
Nay never look at me, it's I that speak,  
Take't as you will, i'll not flatter you.  
What? have you not means enough to waste  
That which your friends have left you, but you must  
Go cast away your money on a Buzzard,  
And know not how to keep it when you have done?  
Oh it's brave, this will make you a gentleman,  
Well cozen well, I see you are e'en past hope  
Of all reclaim; I so, now you are told on it, you look another way.  Step. 
What would you have me do trow?  Lor. 
What would I have you do? mary  
Learn to be wise, and practise how to thrive,  
That I would have you do, and not to spend  
Your crowns on every one that humours you:  
I would not have you to intrude yourself  
In every gentleman's society,  
Till their affections or your own desert,  
Do worthily invite you to the place.  
For he that's so respectless in his course,  
Oft sells his reputation vile and cheap.  
Let not your carriage, and behaviour taste  
Of affectation, lest while you pretend  
To make a blaze of gentry to the world  
A little puff of scorn extinguish it,  
And you be left like an unsavoury snuff,  
Whose property is only to offend.  
cozen, lay by such superficial forms,  
And entertain a perfect real substance,  
Stand not so much on your gentility,  Enter a servingman. 
But moderate your expenses (now at first)  
As you may keep the same proportion still.  
Bear a low sail: soft who's this comes here.  Ser. 
Gentlemen, God save you.  Step. 
Welcome good friend, we do not stand much upon our gentility; yet I can assure you mine uncle is a man of a thousand pound land a year; he hath but one son in the world; I am his next heir, as simple as I stand here, if my cozen die: I have a fair living of mine own too beside.  Ser. 
In good time sir.  Step. 
In good time sir? you do not flout, do you?  Ser. 
Not I sir.  Step. 
And you should, here be them can perceive it, and that quickly too: Go too, and they can give it again sound, and need be.  Ser. 
Why sir let this satisfy you. Good faith I had no such intent.  Step. 
By God, and I thought you had sir, I would talk with you.  Ser. 
So you may sir, and at your pleasure.  Step. 
And so I would sir, and you were out of mine uncles ground, I can tell you.  Lor. 
Why how now cozen, will this near be left?  Step. 
Whoreson base fellow, by God's lid, an't were not for shame, I would.  Lor. se. 
What would you do? you peremptory Ass,  
And you'll not be quiet, get you hence.  
You see, the gentleman contains himself  
In modest limits, giving no reply  
To your unseasoned rude comparatives;  
Yet you'll demean yourself, without respect  
Either of duty, or humanity.  
Go get you in: fore God I am ashamed  Exit Steph. 
Thou hast a kinsman's interest in me.  Ser. 
I pray you, sir, is this Pazzi house?  Lor. se. 
Yes mary is it, sir.  Ser. 
I should inquire for a gentleman here, one signor Lorenzo di Pazzi; do you know any such, sir, I pray you?  Lore se. 
Yes, sir: or else I should forget myself▪  Ser. 
I cry you mercy, sir, I was requested by a gentleman of Florence (having some occasion to ride this way) to deliver you this letter.  Lor. se. 
To me, sir? What do you mean? I pray you remember your curtsy.  
To his dear and most elected friend, signor Lorenzo di Pazzi. What might the gentleman's name be, sir, that sent it? Nay, pray you be covered.  Ser. 
signor Prospero.  Lore. se 
signor Prospero? A young gentleman of the family of Strozzi, is he not?  Ser. 
ay, sir, the same: signor Thorello, the rich Florentine merchant married his sister.  Enter Musco. Lore. se. 
You say very true. Musco.  Mus. 
Sir.  Lore. se. 
Make this Gentleman drink, here.  
I pray you go in, sir, an't please you.  Exeunt. 
Now (without doubt) this letter's to my son.  
Well: all is one: I'll be so bold as read it,  
Be it but for the styles sake, and the phrase;  
Both which (I do presume) are excellent,  
And greatly varied from the vulgar form,  
If Prospero's invention gave them life.  
How now? what stuff is here?  
Sirrah Lorenzo, I muse we cannot see thee at Florence: 'Sblood, I doubt, Apollo hath got thee to be his Ingle, that thou comest not abroad, to visit thine old friends: well, take heed of him; he may do somewhat for his household servants, or so; But for his retainers, I am sure, I have known some of them, that have followed him, three, four, five year together, scorning the world with their bare heels, & at length been glad for a shift, (though no clean shift) to lie a whole winter, in half a sheet, cursing Charles wain, and the rest of the stars intolerably. But (quis contra divos?) well; Sirrah, sweet villain, come and see me; but spend one minute in my company, and 'tis enough: I think I have a world of good jests for thee; oh sirrah, I can show thee two of the most perfect, rare, & absolute true Gulls, that ever thou saw'st, if thou wilt come. 'Sblood, invent some famous memorable lie, or other, to flap thy father in the mouth withal: thou hast been father of a thousand, in thy days, 〈◊〉 couldst be no Poet else: any scurvy roguish excuse will serve; say thou com'st but to fetch wool for thine Inke-borne. And then too, thy Father will say thy wits are a woolgathering. But it's no matter; the worse, the better. Any thing is good enough for the old man. Sirrah, how if thy Father should see this now? what would he think of me? Well, (however I write to thee) I reverence him in my soul, for the general good all Florence delivers of him. Lorenzo, I conjure thee (by what, let me see) by the depth of our love, by all the strange sights we have seen in our days, (I or nights either) to come to me to Florence this day. Go to, you shall come, and let your Muses go spin for once. If thou wilt not, s'hart, what's your god's name? Apollo? I; Apollo If this melancholy rogue (Lorenzo here) do not come, grant, that he do turn Fool presently, and never hereafter, be able to make a good jest, or a blank verse, but live in more penury of wit and Invention, then either the Hall-Beadle, or Poet Nuntius.  
Well, it is the strangest letter that ever I read.  
Is this the man, my son (so oft) hath praised  
To be the happiest, and most precious wit  
That ever was familiar with Art?  
Now (by our Lady's blessed son) I swear,  
I rather think him most infortunate,  
In the possession of such holy gifts,  
Being the master of so loose a spirit.  
Why what unhallowed ruffian would have writ,  
With so profane a pen, unto his friend?  
The modest paper e'en looks pale for grief  
To feel her virgin-cheeke defiled and stained  
With such a black and criminal inscription.  
Well, I had thought my son could not have strayed,  
So far from judgement, as to mars himself  
Thus cheaply, (in the open trade of scorn)  
To jeering folly, and fantastic humour  
But now I see opinion is a fool,  
And hath abused my senses. Musco.  Enter Musco. Mus. 
Sir.  Lor. se. 
What is the fellow gone that brought this letter?  Mus. 
Yes sir, a pretty while since.  Lor. se. 
And where's Lorenzo?  Mus. 
In his chamber sir.  Lor. se. 
He spoke not with the fellow, did he?  Mus. 
No sir, he saw him not.  Lor. se. 
Then Musco take this letter, and deliver it unto Lorenzo: but sirrah, (on your life) take you no knowledge I have opened it.  Mus. 
O Lord sir, that were a jest in deed.  Exit Mus. Lor. se. 
I am resolved I will not cross his journey.  
Nor will I practise any violent mean,  
To stay the hot and lusty course of youth.  
For youth restrained strait grows impatient,  
And (in condition) like an eager dog,  
Who (ne'er so little from his game withheld)  
Turns head and leaps up at his master's throat.  
Therefore i'll study (by some milder drift)  
To call my son unto a happier shrift.  Exit.  

SCENA SECUNDA.  Enter Lorenzo junior, with Musco. Mus. 
Yes sir, (on my word) he opened it, & read the contents▪  Lor. iu. 
It scarce contents me that he did so. But Musco didst thou observe his countenance in the reading of it, whether he were angry or pleased?  Mus. 
Why sir I saw him not read it.  Le. iu. 
No? how knowest thou then that he opened it?  Mus. 
Marry sir because he charged me (on my life) to tell no body that he opened it, which (unless he had done) he would never fear to have it revealed.  Lo. iu. 
That's true: well Musco hie thee in again,  
Lest thy protracted absence do lend light,  Enter Stephan. 
To dark suspicion: Musco be assured  
I'll not forget this thy respective love.  Step. 
Oh Musco, didst thou not see a fellow here in a whatsha-callum doublet; he brought mine uncle a letter even now?  Mus. 
Yes sir, what of him?  Step. 
Where is he, canst thou tell?  Mus. 
Why he is gone.  Step. 
Gone? which way? when went he? how long since?  Mus. 
It's almost half an hour ago since he rid hence.  Step. 
Whoreson Scanderbag rogue, oh that I had a horse; by God's lid i'd fetch him back again, with heave and ho.  Mus. 
Why you may have my masters bay gelding, and you will.  Step. 
But I have no boots, that's the spite on it.  Mus. 
Then it's no boot to follow him. Let him go and hang sir.  Step. 
I by my troth; Musco, I pray thee help to truss me a little; nothing angers me, but I have waited such a while for him all unlaced and untrust yonder, and now to see he is gone the other way.  Mus. 
Nay I pray you stand still sir.  Step. 
I will, I will: oh how it vexes me.  Mus. 
Tut, never vex yourself with the thought of such a base fellow as he.  Step. 
Nay to see, he stood upon points with me too.  Mus. 
Like enough so; that was, because he saw you had so few at your hose.  Step. 
What? Hast thou done? God a mercy, good Musco.  Mus. 
I marl, sir, you wear such ill-favoured course stockings, having so good a leg as you have.  Step. 
Foyes, the stockings be good enough for this time of the year; but I'll have a pair of silk, ere it be long: I think, my leg would show well in a silk hose.  Mus. 
I afore God would it rarely well.  Step. 
In sadness I think it would: I have a reasonable good leg.  Mus. 
You have an excellent good leg, sir: I pray you pardon me, I have a little haste in, sir.  Step. 
A thousand thanks, good Musco.  Exit. 
What, I hope he laughs not at me; and he do—  Lo. iun. 
Here is a style indeed, for a man's senses to leap over, ere they come at it: why, it is able to break the shins of any old man's patience in the world. My father read this with patience? Then will I be made an Eunuch, and learn to sing Ballads. I do not deny, but my father may have as much patience as any other man; for he uses to take physic, and oft taking physic, makes a man a very patient creature. But, signor Prospero, had your swaggering Epistle here, arrived in my father's hands, at such an hour of his patience, (I mean, when he had ta'en physic) it is to be doubted, whether I should have read sweet villaynt here. But, what? My wise cousin; Nay then, I'll furnish our feast with one Gull more toward a mess; he writes to me of two, and here's one, that's three, I'faith. Oh for a fourth: now, Fortune, or never Fortune.  Step. 
Oh, now I see who he laughed at: he laughed at some body in that letter. By this good light, and he had laughed at me, I would have told mine uncle.  Lo. iun. 
Cousin Stephano: good morrow, good cousin, how fare you?  Step. 
The better for your ask, I will assure you. I have been all about to seek you; since I came I saw mine uncle; & i'faith how have you done this great while? Good Lord, by my troth I am glad you are well cousin.  Lor. iu. 
And I am as glad of your coming, I protest to you, for I am sent for by a private gentleman, my most special dear friend, to come to him to Florence this morning, and you shall go with me cousin, if it please you, not else, I will enjoin you no further than stands with your own consent, and the condition of a friend.  Step. 
Why cousin you shall command me an't were twice so far as Florence to do you good; what do you think I will not go with you? I protest.  Lo. iu. 
Nay, nay, you shall not protest.  Step. 
By God, but I will sir, by your leave i'll protest more to my friend then i'll speak of at this time.  Lo. iu. 
You speak very well sir.  Step. 
Nay not so neither, but I speak to serve my turn.  Lo. iu. 
Your turn? why cousin, a gentleman of so fair sort as you are, of so true carriage, so special good parts; of so dear and choice estimation; one whose lowest condition bears the stamp of a great spirit; nay more, a man so graced, guilded, or rather (to use a more fit Metaphor) tinfoyld by nature, (not that you have a leaden constitution, cousin, although perhaps a little inclining to that temper, & so the more apt to melt with pity, when you fall into the fire of rage) but for your lustre only, which reflects as bright to the world as an old Alewives pewter again a good time; and will you now (with nice modesty) hide such real ornaments as these, and shadow their glory as a Milliner's wife doth her wrought stomacher, with a smoky lawn or a black cypress? Come, come, for shame do not wrong the quality of your desert in so poor a kind: but let the Idea of what you are, be portrayed in your aspect, that men may read in your looks; Here within this place is to be seen, the most admirable rare & accomplished work of nature; Cousin what think you of this?  Step. 
Marry I do think of it, and I will be more melancholy, and gentlemanlike than I have been, I do ensure you.  Lo. iu. 
Why this is well: now if I can but hold up this humour in him, as it is begun, Catso for Florence, match him & she can; Come cousin.  Step. 
I'll follow you. Le. iu. Follow me? you must go before.  Step. 
Must I? nay then I pray you show me good cousin.  Exeunt.  

SCENA TERTIA.  Enter signor Matheo, to him Cob. Mat. 
I think this be the house: what howgh?  Cob. 
Who's there? oh signor Matheo. God give you good morrow sir.  Mat. 
What? Cob? how dost thou good Cob? dost thou inhabit here Cob?  Cob. 
I sir, I and my lineage have kept a poor house in our days.  Mat. 
Thy lineage monsieur Cob? what lineage, what lineage?  Cob. 
Why sir, an ancient lineage, and a princely: mine ancestry came from a king's loins, no worse man; and yet no man neither, but Herring the king of fish, one of the monarchs of the world I assure you. I do fetch my pedigree and name from the first red herring that was eaten in Adam, & eves kitchen: his Cob was my great, great, mighty great grandfather.  Mat. 
Why mighty? why mighty?  Cob. 
Oh it's a mighty while ago sir, and it was a mighty great Cob.  Mat. 
How knowest thou that?  Cob. 
How know I? why his ghost comes to me every night.  Mat. 
Oh unsavoury jest: the ghost of a herring Cob.  Cob. 
ay, why not the ghost of a herring Cob, as well as the ghost of Rashero Baccono, they were both broiled on the coals: you are a scholar, upsolve me that now.  Mat. 
Oh rude ignorance. Cob canst thou show me, of a gentleman, one signor Bobadilla, where his lodging is?  Cob. 
Oh my guest sir, you mean?  Mat. 
Thy guest, alas? ha, ha.  Cob. 
Why do you laugh sir? do you not mean signor Bobadilla?  Mat. 
Cob I pray thee advise thyself well: do not wrong the gentleman, and thyself too. I dare be sworn he scorns thy house he. He lodge in such a base obscure place as thy house? Tut, I know his disposition so well, he would not lie in thy bed if call't give it him.  Cob. 
I will not give it him. Mass I thought (somewhat was in it) we could not get him to bed all night. Well sir, though he lie not on my bed, he lies on my bench, an't please you to go up sir, you shall find him with two cushions under his head, and his cloak wrapped about him, as though he had neither won nor lost, and yet I warrant he ne'er cast better in his life than he hath done to night.  Mat. 
Why was he drunk?  Cob. 
Drunk sir? you hear not me say so; perhaps he swallowed a tavern token, or some such devise sir; I have nothing to do withal: I deal with water and not with wine. Give me my tankard there, ho. God be with you sir, it's six a clock: I should have carried two turns by this, what ho? my stopple come.  Mat. 
Lie in a water-bearers' house, a gentleman of his note? well i'll tell him my mind.  Exit. Cob. 
What Tib, show this gentleman up to signor Bobadilla: oh and my house were the Brazen head now, faith it would e'en cry more fools yet: you should have some now, would take him to be a gentleman at the least; alas God help the simple, his father's an honest man, a good fishmonger, and so forth: and now doth he creep and wriggle into acquaintance with all the brave gallants about the town, such as my guest is, (oh my guest is a fine man) and they flout him invincibly. He useth every day to a merchants house (where I serve water) one M. Thorellos; and here's the jest, he is in love with my master's sister, and calls her mistress: and there he sits a whole afternoon sometimes, reading of these same abominable, vile, (a pox on them, I cannot abide them) rascally verses, Poetry, poetry, and speaking of interludes, 'twill make a man burst to hear him: and the wenches, they do so gear and time at him; well, should they do as much to me, I'd forswear them all, by the life of Pharaoh, there's an oath: how many water-bearers shall you hear swear such an oath? oh I have a guest (he teacheth me) he doth swear the best of any man christened: By Phoebus, By the life of Pharaoh, By the body of me, As I am gentleman, and a soldier: such dainty oaths; & withal he doth take this same filthy rooguish Tobacco the finest, and cleanliest; it would do a man good to see the fume come forth at his nostrils: well, he owes me forty shillings (my wife lent him out of her purse; by sixpence a time) besides his lodging; I would I had it: I shall have it he saith next Action., hang sorrow, care will kill a cat, uptails all, and a pox on the hangman.  Exit. 
Bobadilla discovers himself: on a bench; to him Tib.  Bob. 
Hostess, hostess.  Tib. 
What say you sir?  Bob. 
A cup of your small beer sweet hostess.  Tib. 
Sir, there's a gentleman below would speak with you.  Bob. 
A gentleman, (Gods so) I am not within.  Tib. 
My husband told him you were sir.  Bob. 
What ha plague? what meant he?  Mat. 
signor Bobadilla.  Matheo within. Bob. 
Who's there? (take away the basin good hostess) come up sir.  Tib. 
He would desire you to come up sir; you come into a cleanly house here.  Mat. 
God save you sir, God save you.  Enter Matheo. Bob. 
signor Matheo, is't you sir? please you sit down.  Mat. 
I thank you good signor, you may see, I am somewhat audacious.  Bob. 
Not so signor, I was requested to supper yesternight by a sort of gallants where you were wished for, and drunk to I assure you.  Mat. 
Vouchsafe me by whom good signor.  Bob. 
Marry by signor Prospero, and others, why hostess, a stool here for this gentleman.  Mat. 
No haste sir, it is very well.  Bob. 
Body of me, it was so late ere we parted last night, I can scarce open mine eyes yet; I was but new risen as you came: how passes the day abroad sir? you can tell.  Mat. 
Faith some half hour to seven: now trust me you have an exceeding fine lodging here, very neat, and private.  Bob. 
I sir, sit down I pray you: signor Matheo (in any case) possess no gentlemen of your acquaintance with notice of my lodging.  Mat. 
Who I sir? no.  Bob. 
Not that I need to care who know it, but in regard I would not be so popular and general, as some be.  Mat. 
True signor, I conceive you.  Bob. 
For do you see sir, by the heart of myself (except it be to some peculiar and choice spirits, to whom I am extraordinarily engaged, as yourself, or so) I would not extend thus far.  Mat. 
O Lord sir I resolve so.  Bob. 
What new book have you there? what? Go by Hieronimo.  Mat. 
ay, did you ever see it acted? is't not well penned?  Bob. 
Well penned: I would fain see all the Poets of our time pen such another play as that was; they I prate and swagger, and keep a stir of arte and devices, when (by Gods so) they are the most shallow pitiful fellows that live upon the face of the earth again.  Mat. 
Indeed, here are a number of fine speeches in this book: Oh eyes, no eyes but fountains fraught with tears; there's a conceit: Fountains fraught with tears. Oh life, no life, but lively form of death: is't not excellent? Oh world, no world, but mass of public wrongs; O Gods me: confused and filled with murder and misdeeds. Is't not simply the best that ever you heard? Ha, how do you like it?  Bob. 
'tis good.  Mat. 
To thee the purest object to my sense,  
The most refined essence heaven covers,  
Send I these lines, wherein I do commence  
The happy state of true deserving lovers.  
If they prove rough, unpolished, harsh and rude,  
Haste made that waste; thus mildly I conclude.  Bob. 
Nay proceed, proceed, where's this? where's this?  Mat. 
This sir, a toy of mine own in my nonage: but when will you come and see my study? good faith I can show you some very good things I have done of late: that boot becomes your leg passing well sir, me thinks.  Bob. 
So, so, it's a fashion gentlemen use.  Mat. 
Mass sir, and now you speak of the fashion, signor Prosperos elder brother and I are fallen out exceedingly: this other day I happened to enter into some discourse of a hanger, which I assure you, both for fashion & workmanship was most beautiful and gentlemanlike; yet he condemned it for the most pied and ridiculous that ever he saw.  Bob. 
signor Giuliano, was it not? the elder brother?  Mat. 
I sir, he.  Bob. 
Hang him Rook he? why he has no more judgement than a malt horse. By S. George, I hold him the most peremptory absurd clown (one on them) in Christendom: I protest to you (as I am a gentleman and a soldier) I ne'er talked with the like of him: he has not so much as a good word in his belly, all iron, iron, a good commodity for a smith to make hobnails on.  Mat. 
ay, and he thinks to carry it away with his manhood still where he comes: he brags he will give me the bastinado, as I hear.  Bob. 
How, the bastinado? how came he by that word trow?  Mat. 
Nay indeed he said cudgel me; I termed it so for the more grace.  Bob. 
That may be, for I was sure it was none of his word: but when, when said he so?  Mat. 
Faith yesterday they say, a young gallant a friend of mine told me so.  Bob. 
By the life of Pharaoh, an't were my case now, I should send him a challenge presently: the bastinado? come hither, you shall challenge him; i'll show you a trick or two, you shall kill him at pleasure, the first stockado if you will, by this air.  Mat. 
Indeed you have absolute knowledge in the mystery, I have heard sir.  Bob. 
Of whom? of whom I pray?  Mat. 
Faith I have heard it spoken of divers, that you have very rare skill sir.  Bob. 
By heaven, no, not I, no skill in the earth: some small science, know my time, distance, or so, I have professed it more for noblemen and gentlemen's use, than mine own practice I assure you. Hostess, lend us another bedstaff here quickly: look you sir, exalt not your point above this state at any hand, and let your poyneard maintain your defence thus: give it the gentleman. So sir, come on, oh twine your body more about, that you may come to a more sweet comely gentlemanlike guard; so indifferent. Hollow your body more sir, thus: now stand fast on your left leg, note your distance, keep your due proportion of time: oh you disorder your point most vilely.  Mat. 
How is the bearing of it now sir?  Bob. 
Oh out of measure ill, a well experienced man would pass upon you at pleasure.  Mat. 
How mean you pass upon me?  Bob. 
Why thus sir? make a thrust at me; come in upon my time; control your point, and make a full career at the body: the best practised gentlemen of the time term it the passado, a most desperate thrust, believe it.  Mat. 
Well, come sir.  Bob. 
Why you do not manage your weapons with that facility and grace that you should do, I have no spirit to play with you, your dearth of judgement makes you seem tedious.  Mat. 
But one very sir.  Bob. 
Fie veney, most gross denomination, as ever I heard: oh the stockado while you live signor, note that. Come put on your cloak, and we'll go to some private place where you are acquainted, some tavern or so, & we'll send for one of these fencers, where he shall breathe you at my direction, and then i'll teach you that trick, you shall kill him with it at the first if you please: why i'll learn you by the true judgement of the eye, hand and foot, to control any man's point in the world; Should your adversary confront you with a pistol, 'twere nothing, you should (by the same rule) control the bullet, most certain by Phoebus: unless it were hailshot: what money have you about you sir?  Mat. 
Faith I have not past two shillings, or so.  Bob. 
'tis somewhat with the least, but come, when we have done, we'll call up signor Prospero; perhaps we shall meet with Coridon his brother there.  Exeunt.  

SCENA QVARTA.  Enter Thorello, Giuliano, Piso. Tho. 
Piso, come hither: there lies a note within upon my desk; here take my key: it's no matter neither, where's the boy?  Piso. 
Within sir, in the warehouse.  Thor. 
Let him tell over that Spanish gold, and weigh it, and do you see the delivery of those wares to signor Bentivole: I'll be there myself at the receipt of the money anon.  Piso. 
Very good sir.  Exit Piso. Tho. 
Brother, did you see that same fellow there?  Giu. 
ay, what of him?  Tho. 
He is e'en the honestest faithful servant, that is this day in Florence; (I speak a proud word now) and one that I durst trust my life into his hands, I have so strong opinion of his love, if need were.  Giu. 
God send me never such need: but you said you had somewhat to tell me, what is't?  Tho. 
Faith brother, I am loath to utter it,  
As fearing to abuse your patience,  
But that I know your judgement more direct,  
Able to sway the nearest of affection.  Giu. 
Come, come, what needs this circumstance?  Tho. 
I will not say what honour I ascribe  
Unto your friendship, nor in what dear state  
I hold your love; let my continued zeal,  
The constant and religious regard,  
That I have ever carried to your name,  
My carriage with your sister, all contest,  
How much I stand affected to your house.  Giu. 
You are too tedious, come to the matter, come to the matter.  Tho. 
Then (without further ceremony) thus.  
My brother Prospero (I know not how)  
Of late is much declined from what he was,  
And greatly altered in his disposition.  
When he came first to lodge here in my house,  
ne'er trust me, if I was not proud of him:  
Me thought he bore himself with such observance,  
So true election and so fair a form:  
And (what was chief) it showed not borrowed in him,  
But all he did became him as his own,  
And seemed as perfect, proper, and innate,  
Unto the mind, as colour to the blood,  
But now, his course is so irregular,  
So lose affected, and deprived of grace.  
And he himself withal so far fallen off  
From his first place, that scarce no note remains,  
To tell men's judgements where he lately stood;  
he's grown a stranger to all due respect,  
Forgetful of his friends, and not content  
To stolen himself in all societies,  
He makes my house as common as a Mart,  
A Theatre, a public receptacle  
For giddy humour, and diseased riot,  
And there, (as in a Tavern, or a stews,)  
He, and his wild associates, spend their hours,  
In repetition of lascivious jests,  
Swear, leap, and dance, and revel night by night,  
Control my servants: and indeed what not?  Giu. 
Faith I know not what I should say to him: so God save me, I am e'en at my wit's end, I have told him enough, one would think, if that would serve: well, he knows what to trust to for me: let him spend, and spend, and domineer till his heart ache: & he get a penny more of me, I'll give him this eare.  Tho. 
Nay good Brother have patience.  Giu. 
'Sblood, he mads me, I could eat my very flesh for anger:  
I marl you will not tell him of it, how he disquiets your house.  Tho. 
O there are diuners reasons to dissuade me,  
But would yourself vouchsafe to travail in it,  
(Though but with plain, and easy circumstance,)  
It would, both come much better to his sense,  
And savour less of grief and discontent.  
You are his elder brother, and that title  
Confirms and warrants your authority:  
Which (seconded by your aspect) will breed  
A kind of duty in him, and regard.  
Whereas, if I should intimate the least,  
It would but add contempt, to his neglect,  
Heap worse on ill, rear a huge pile of hate,  
That in the building, would come tottering down,  
And in her ruins, bury all our love.  
Nay more than this brother; (if I should speak)  
He would be ready in the heat of passion,  
To fill the ears of his familiars,  
With oft reporting to them, what disgrace  
And gross disparagement, I had proposed him.  
And then would they strait back him, in opinion,  
Make some loose comment upon every word,  
And out of their distracted fantasies;  
Contrive some slander, that should dwell with me.  
And what would that be think you? mary this,  
They would give out, (because my wife is fair,  
Myself but lately married, and my sister  
here sojourning a virgin in my house)  
That I were jealous: nay, as sure as death,  
Thus they would say: and how that I had wronged  
My brother purposely, thereby to find  
An apt pretext to banish them my house.  Giu. 
Mass perhaps so.  Tho. 
Brother they would believe it: so should I  
(Like one of these penurious quack-slaluers,)  
But try experiments upon myself,  
Open the gates unto mine own disgrace,  
Lend bare-ribd envy, opportunity.  
To stab my reputation, and good name.  Enter Boba. and Matheo. Mat. 
I will speak to him.  Bob. 
Speak to him? away, by the life of Pharaoh you shall not, you shall not do him that grace: the time of day to you Gentleman: is signor Prospero stirring?  Giu. 
How then? what should he do?  Bob. 
signor Thorello, is he within sir?  Tho. 
He came not to his lodging to night sir, I assure you.  Giu. 
Why do you hear? you.  Bob. 
This gentleman hath satisfied me, I'll talk to no Scavenger.  Giu. 
How Scavenger? stay sir stay.  Exeunt. Tho. 
Nay Brother Giuliano.  Giu. 
'Sblood stand you away, and you love me.  Tho. 
You shall not follow him now I pray you, Good faith you shall not.  Giu. 
Ha? Scavenger? well go to, I say little, but, by this good day (God forgive me I should swear) if I put it up so, say I am the rankest— that ever pissed. 'Sblood and I swallow this, I'll near draw my sword in the sight of man again while I live; I'll sit in a Barn with Madge-owlet first, Scavenger? ' heart and I'll go near to fill that huge timbrel slop of yours with somewhat and I have good luck, your Garagantua breech cannot carry it away so.  Tho. 
Oh do not fret yourself thus, never think on 't.  Giu. 
These are my brother's consorts these, these are his comrades, his walking mates, he's a gallant, a Caveliero too, right hangman cut, God let me not live, and I could not find in my heart to swinge the whole nest of them, one after another, and begin with him first, I am grieved it should be said he is my brother, and take these courses, well he shall hear on't, and that tightly too, and I live I'faith.  Tho. 
But brother, let your apprehension (then)  
Run in an easy current, not transported  
With heady rashness, or devouring choler,  
And rather carry a persuading spirit,  
Whose powers will pierce more gently; and allure,  
Th' imperfect thoughts you labour to reclaim,  
To a more sudden and resolved assent.  Giu. 
ay, I, let me alone for that I warrant you.  Bell rings. Tho. 
How now? oh the bell rings to breakfast.  
Brother Giuliano, I pray you go in and bear my wife company:  
I'll but give order to my servants for the dispatch of some business and come to you presently.  Exit Guil. Enter Cob. 
What Cob? our maids will have you by the back (I'faith)  
For coming so late this morning.  Cob. 
Perhaps so sir, take heed some body have not them by the belly for walking so late in the evening.  Exit. Tho. 
Now (in good faith) my mind is somewhat eased,  
Though not reposed in that security,  
As I could wish; well, I must be content,  
How e'er I set a face on't to the world,  
Would I had lost this finger at a vent,  
So Prospero had ne'er lodged in my house,  
Why't cannot be, where there is such resort  
Of wanton gallants, and young revellers,  
That any woman should be honest long.  
ist like, that factious beauty will preserve  
The sovereign state of chastity unscard,  
When such strong motives muster, and make head  
Against her single peace? no, no: beware  
When mutual pleasure sways the appetite,  
And spirits of one kind and quality,  
Do meet to parley in the pride of blood.  
Well (to be plain) if I but thought, the time  
Had answered their affections: all the world  
Should not persuade me, but I were a cuckold:  
Mary I hope they have not got that start.  
For opportunity hath balked them yet,  
And shall do still, while I have eyes and ears  
To attend the imposition of my heart,  
My presence shall be as an Iron Bar,  
Twixt the conspiring motions of desire,  
Yea every look or glance mine eye objects,  
Shall check occasion, as one doth his slave,  
When he forgets the limits of prescription.  Enter Biancha, with Hesperida. Bia. 
Sister Hesperida, I pray you fetch down the Rose water above in the closet: Sweet heart will you come in to breakfast.  Exit Hesperida. Tho. 
And she have overheard me now?  Bia. 
I pray thee (good Musse) we stay for you.  Tho. 
By Christ I would not for a thousand crowns.  Bia. 
What ail you sweet heart, are you not well, speak good Musse.  Tho. 
Troth my head aches extremely on a sudden.  Bia. 
Oh jesus!  Tho. 
How now? what?  Bia. 
Good Lord how it burns? Musse keep you warm, good truth it is this new disease, there's a number are troubled withal: for God's sake sweet heart, come in out of the air.  Tho. 
How simple, and how subtle are her answers?  
A new disease, and many troubled with it.  
Why true, she heard me all the world to nothing.  Bia. 
I pray thee good sweet heart come in; the air will do you harm in troth.  Tho. 
I'll come to you presently, it will away I hope.  Bia. 
Pray God it do.  Exit. Tho. 
A new disease? I know not, new or old.  
But it may well be called poor mortals Plague;  
For like a pestilence it doth infect  
The houses of the brain: first it begins  
Solely to work upon the fantasy,  
Filling her seat with such pestiferous air,  
As soon corrupts the judgement, and from thence,  
Sends like contagion to the memory,  
Still each of other catching the infection,  
Which as a searching vapour spreads itself  
Confusedly through every sensive part,  
Till not a thought or motion in the mind  
Be free from the black poison of suspect.  
Ah, but what error is it to know this,  
And want the free election of the soul  
In such extremes? well, I will once more strive,  
(Even in despite of hell) myself to be,  
And shake this fever off that thus shakes me.  Exit.   

ACTUS SECUNDUS,  

SCENA PRIMA.  Enter Musco disguised like a soldier. Musco. 
'Sblood, I cannot choose but laugh to see myself translated thus, from a poor creature to a creator; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies, or else my profession loses his grace, and yet the lie to a man of my coat, is as ominous as the 〈◊〉 oh sir, it holds for good policy to have that outwardly in vilest estimation, that inwardly is most dear to us: So much for my borrowed shape. Well, the troth is, my master intends to follow his son drie-foot to Florence, this morning: now I knowing of this conspiracy, and the rather to insinuate with my young master, (for so must we that are blue waiters, or men of service do, or else perhaps we may wear motley at the years end, and who wears motley you know:) I have got me afore in this disguise, determining here to lie in ambuscado, & intercept him in the midway: If I can but get his cloak, his purse, his hat, nay any thing so I can stay his journey, Rex Regum, I am made for ever i'faith: well, now must I practise to get the true garb of one of these lanceknights: my arm here, and my: Gods so, young master and his cousin.  Enter Lo. iu. and Step. Lo. iu. 
So sir, and how then?  Step. 
God's foot, I have lost my purse, I think.  Lo. iu. 
How? lost your purse? where? when had you it?  Step. 
I cannot tell, stay.  Mus. 
'Slid I am afeard they will know me, would I could get by them.  Lo. iu. 
What? have you it?  Step. 
No, I think I was bewitched, I.  Lo. iu. 
Nay do not weep, a pox on it, hang it let it go.  Step. 
Oh it's here, nay and it had been lost, I had not cared but for a jet ring Marina sent me.  Lo. iu. 
A jet ring? oh the poesy, the poesy?  Step. 
Fine i'faith: Though fancy sleep, my love is deep: meaning that though I did not fancy her, yet she loved me dearly.  Lo. iu. 
Most excellent.  Step. 
And then I sent her another, and my poesy was; The deeper the sweeter, I'll be judged by Saint Peter.  Lo. iu. 
How, by S. Peter? I do not conceive that.  Step. 
Marry, S. Peter to make up the meeter.  Lo. iu. 
Well, you are beholding to that Saint▪ he helped you at your need; thank him, thank him.  Mus. 
I will venture, come what will: Gentlemen, please you change a few crowns for a very excellent good blade here; I am a poor gentleman, a soldier, one that (in the better state of my fortunes) scorned so mean a refuge, but now it's the humour of necessity to have it so: you seem to be gentlemen well affected to martial men, else I should rather die with silence, then live with shame: how e'er, vouchsafe to remember it is my want speaks, not myself: this condition agrees not with my spirit.  Lo. iu. 
Where hast thou served?  Mus. 
May it please you signor, in all the provinces of Bohemia, Hungaria, Dalmatia, Poland, where not? I have been a poor servitor by sea and land, any time this xiv. years, and followed the fortunes of the best Commanders in Christendom. I was twice shot at the taking of Aleppo, once at the relief of Vienna; I have been at America in the galleys thrice, where I was most dangerously shot in the head, through both the thighs, and yet being thus maimed I am void of maintenance, nothing left me but my scars, the noted marks of my resolution.  Step. 
How will you sell this Rapier friend?  Mus. 
Faith signor, I refer it to your own judgement; you are a gentleman, give me what you please.  Step. 
True, I am a gentleman, I know that; but what though,  
I pray you say, what would you ask?  Mus. 
I assure you the blade may become the side of the best prince in Europe.  Lo. iu. 
ay, with a velvet scabbard.  Step. 
Nay an't be mine it shall have a velvet scabbard, that is flat, 'd'd not wear it as'tis and you would give me an angel.  Mus. 
At your pleasure signor, nay it's a most pure Toledo.  Step. 
I had rather it were a Spaniard: but tell me, what shall I give you for it? and it had a silver hilt—  Lo. iu. 
Come, come, you shall not buy it; hold there's a shilling friend, take thy Rapier.  Step. 
Why but I will buy it now, because you say so: what shall I go without a rapier?  Lo. iu. 
You may buy one in the city.  Step. 
Tut, i'll buy this, so I will; tell me your lowest price.  Lo. iu. 
You shall not I say.  Step. 
By God's lid, but I will, though I give more then 'tis worth.  Lo. iu. 
Come away, you are a fool.  Step. 
Friend, i'll have it for that word: follow me.  Mus. 
At your service signor.  Exeunt.  

SCENA SECUNDA.  Enter Lorenzo signior. Lore. 
My labouring spirit being late oppressed  
With my sons folly, can embrace no rest,  
Till it hath plotted by advise and skill,  
How to reduce him from affected will  
To reasons manage; which while I intent,  
My troubled soul begins to apprehend  
A farther secret, and to meditate  
Upon the difference of man's estate:  
Where is deciphered to true judgements eye  
A deep, concealed, and precious mystery.  
Yet can I not but worthily admire  
At nature's art: who (when she did inspire  
This heat of life) placed Reason (as a king)  
Here in the head, to have the marshalling  
Of our affections: and with sovereignty  
To sway the state of our weak empery,  
But as in divers commonwealths we see,  
The form of government to disagree:  
Even so in man who searcheth soon shall find  
As much or more variety of mind.  
Some men's affections like a sullen wife,  
Is with her husband reason still at strife.  
Others (like proud Arch-traitors that rebel  
Against their sovereign) practise to expel  
Their liege Lord Reason, and not shame to tread  
Upon his holy and anointed head.  
But as that land or nation best doth thrive,  
Which to smooth-fronted peace is most proclive,  
So doth that mind, whose fair affections ranged  
By reasons rules, stand constant and unchanged,  
Else, if the power of reason be not such,  
Why do we attribute to him so much?  
Or why are we obsequious to his law,  
If he want spirit our affects to awe?  
Oh no, I argue weakly, he is strong,  Enter Musco. 
Albeit my son have done him too much wrong.  Mus. 
My master: nay faith have at you: I am fleshed now I have sped so well: Gentleman, I beseech you respect the estate of a poor soldier; I am ashamed of this base course of life (God's my comfort) but extremity provokes me to't, what remedy?  Loren. 
I have not for you now.  Mus. 
By the faith I bear unto God, gentleman, it is no ordinary custom, but only to preserve manhood. I protest to you, a man I have been, a man I may be, by your sweet bounty.  Lor. 
I pray thee good friend be satisfied.  Mus. 
Good signor: by jesus you may do the part of a kind gentleman, in lending a poor soldier the price of two cans of beer, a matter of small value, the King of heaven shall pay you, and I shall rest thankful: sweet signor.  Loren. 
Nay and you be so importunate—  Mus. 
Oh Lord sir, need will have his course: I was not made to this vile use; well, the edge of the enemy could not have abated me so much: it's hard when a man hath served in his Prince's cause and be thus. signor, let me derive a small piece of silver from you, it shall not be given in the course of time, by this good ground, I was fain to pawn my rapier last night for a poor supper, I am a Pagan else: sweet signor.  Loren. 
Believe me I am rapt with admiration,  
To think a man of thy exterior presence,  
Should (in the constitution of the mind)  
Be so degenerate, infirm, and base.  
Art thou a man? and sham'st thou not to beg?  
To practise such a servile kind of life?  
Why were thy education ne'er so mean,  
Having thy limbs: a thousand fairer courses  
Offer themselves to thy election.  
Nay there the wars might still supply thy wants,  
Or service of some virtuous Gentleman,  
Or honest labour; nay what can I name,  
But would become thee better than to beg?  
But men of your condition feed on sloth,  
As doth the Scarab on the dung she breeds in,  
Not caring how the temper of your spirits  
Is eaten with the rust of idleness.  
Now afore God, what e'er he be, that should  
Relieve a person of thy quality,  
While you insist in this loose desperate course,  
I would esteem the sin not thine but his.  Mus. 
Faith signor, I would gladly find some other course if so.  Loren. 
ay, you'd gladly find it, but you will not seek it.  Mus. 
alas sir, where should a man seek? in the wars, there's no assent by desert in these days, but: and for service would it were as soon purchased as wished for (Gods my comfort) I know what I would say.  Loren. 
What's thy name.  Mus. 
Please you: Portensio.  Loren. 
Portensio?  
Say that a man should entertain thee now,  
Would thou be honest, humble, just and true.  Mus. 
signor: by the place and honour of a soldier.  Loren. 
Nay, nay, I like not these affected oaths; Speak plainly man: what thinkst thou of my words?  Mus. 
Nothing signor, but wish my fortunes were as happy as my service should be honest.  Loren. 
Well follow me, i'll prove thee, if thy deeds Will carry a proportion to thy words.  Exit Lor. Mus. 
Yes sir strait, i'll but garter my hose; oh that my belly were hooped now, for I am ready to burst with laughing. S'lid, was there ever seen a fox in years to betray himself thus? now shall I be possessed of all his determinations, and consequently and my young master well he is resolved to prove my honesty: faith and I am resolved to prove his patience: oh I shall abuse him intolerably: this small piece of service will bring him clean out of love with the soldier for ever. It's no matter, let the world think me a bad counterfeit, if I cannot give him the slip at an instant: why this is better than to have stayed his journey by half, well i'll follow him; oh how I long to be employed.  Exit.  

SCENA TERTIA.  Enter Prospero, Bobadilla, and Matheo. Mat. 
Yes faith sir, we were at your lodging to seek you too.  Pros. 
Oh I came not there to night.  Bob. 
Your brother delivered us as much.  Pros. 
Who Giuliano?  Bob. 
Ciuliano▪ signor Prospero, I know not in what kind you value me, but let me tell you this: as sure as God I do hold it so much out of mine honour & reputation, if I should but cast the least regard upon such a dunghill of flesh; I protest to you (as I have a soul to be saved) I ne'er saw any gentlemanlike part in him: and there were no more men living upon the face of the earth, I should not fancy him by Phoebus.  Mat. 
Troth nor I, he is of a rustical cut, I know not how: he doth not carry himself like a gentleman.  Pros. 
Oh signor Matheo, that's a grace peculiar but to a few; quos aequus amavit jupiter.  Mat. 
I understand you sir.  Enter Lorenzo junior, and Step. Pros. 
No question you do sir: Lorenzo; now on my soul welcome; how dost thou sweet rascal? my Genius? 'Sblood I shall love Apollo, & the mad Thespian girls the better while I ●ue for this; my dear villain, now I see there's some spirit in thee: Sirrah these be they two I writ to thee of, nay what a drowsy humour is this now? why dost thou not speak?  Lo. Iu. 
Oh you are a fine gallant, you sent me a rare letter.  Pros. 
Why was't not rare?  Lo. Iu. 
Yes i'll be sworn I was ne'er guilty of reading the like, match it in all Pliny's familiar Epistles, and i'll have my judgement burnt in the eare for a rogue, make much of thy vain, for it is inimitable. But I marl what Camel it was, that had the carriage of it? for doubtless he was no ordinary beast that brought it.  Pros. 
Why?  Lo. Iu. 
Why sayest thou? why dost thou think that any reasonable creature, especially in the morning, (the sober time of the day too) would have ta'en my father for me?  Pros. 
'Sblood you jest I hope?  Lo. Iu. 
Indeed the best use we can turn it too, is to make a jest on't now: but i'll assure you, my father had the proving of your copy, some hour before I saw it.  Pros. 
What a dull slave was this? But sirrah what said he to it i'faith?  Lo. Iu. 
Nay I know not what he said. But I have a shrewd guess what he thought.  Pro. 
What? what?  Lo. Iu. 
Mary that thou are a damned dissolute villain, And I some grain or two better, in keeping thee company.  Pros. 
Tut that thought is like the Moon in the last quarter, 'twill change shortly: but sirrah, I pray thee be acquainted with my two Zanies here, thou wilt take exceeding pleasure in them if thou hearst them once, but what strange piece of silence is this? the sign of the dumb man?  Lo. Iu. 
Oh sir a kinsman of mine, one that may make our Music the fuller and he please, he hath his humour sir.  Pros. 
Oh what ist? what ist?  Lo. Iu. 
Nay: i'll neither do thy judgement, nor his folly that wrong, as to prepare thy apprehension: i'll leave him to the mercy of the time, if you can take him: so.  Pros. 
Well signor Bobadilla: signor Matheo: I pray you know this Gentleman here, he is a friend of mine, & one that will well deserve your affection, I know not your name signor, but I shallbe glad of any good occasion, to be more familiar with you.  Step. 
My name is signor Stephano, sir, I am this Gentleman's cousin, sir his father is mine uncle; sir, I am somewhat melancholy, but you shall command me sir, in whatsoever is incident to a Gentleman.  Bob. 
signor, I must tell you this, I am no general man, embrace it as a most high favour, for (by the host of Egypt) but that I conceive you, to be a Gentleman of some parts, I love few words: you have wit: imagine.  Step. 
I truly sir, I am mightily given to melancholy.  Mat. 
Oh Lord sir, it's your only best humour sir, your true melancholy, breeds your perfect fine wit sir: I am melancholy myself divers times sir, and then do I no more but take your pen and paper presently, and write you your half score or your dozen of sonnets at a sitting.  Lo. iu. 
Mass than he utters them by the gross.  Step. 
Truly sir and I love such things out of measure.  Lo. iu. 
I faith, as well as in measure.  Mat. 
Why I pray you signor, make use of my study, it's at your service.  Step. 
I thank you sir, I shallbe bold I warrant you, have you a close stool there?  Mat. 
Faith sir, I have some papers there, toys of mine own doing at idle hours, that you'll say there's some sparks of wit in them, when you shall see them.  Prosp. 
Would they were kindled once, and a good fire made, I might see self love burnt for her heresy.  Step. 
Cousin, is it well? am I melancholy enough?  Lo. iu. 
Oh I, excellent.  Prosp. 
signor Bobadilla? why muse you so?  Lo. iu. 
He is melancholy too.  Bob. 
Faith sir, I was thinking of a most honourable piece of service was performed to morrow; being S Marks day: shallbe some ten years.  Lo. iu. 
In what place was that service, I pray you sir?  Bob. 
Why at the beleagring of Ghibelletto, where, in less than two hours, seven hundred resolute gentlemen, as any were in Europe, lost their lives upon the breach: I'll tell you gentlemen, it was the first, but the best leagues that ever I beheld with these eyes, except the taking in of Tortosa last year by the Genoese, but that (of all other) was the most fatal & dangerous exploit, that ever I was ranged in, since I first bore arms before the face of the enemy, as I am a gentleman and a soldier.  Step. 
So, I had as lief as an angel I could swear as well as that gentleman.  Lo. iu. 
Then you were a servitor at both it seems.  Bob. 
Oh Lord sir: by Phaeton I was the first man that entered the breach, and had I not effected it with resolution, I had been slain if I had had a million of lives.  Lo. iu. 
Indeed sir?  Step. 
Nay & you heard him discourse you would say so: how like you him?  Bob. 
I assure you (upon my salvation) 'tis true, and yourself shall confess.  Prosp. 
You must bring him to the rack first.  Bob. 
Observe me judicially sweet signor: they had planted me a demi culvering, just in the mouth of the breach; now sir (as we were to ascend) their master gunner (a man of no mean skill and courage, you must think) confronts me with his Linstock ready to give fire; I spying his intendment, discharged my Petrinell in his bosom, and with this instrument my poor Rapier, ran violently upon the Moors that guarded the ordinance, and put them pellmell to the sword.  Pros. 
To the sword? to the Rapier signor.  Lo. iu. 
Oh it was a good figure observed sir: but did you all this signor without hurting your blade.  Bob. 
Without any impeach on the earth: you shall perceive sir, it is the most fortunate weapon, that ever rid on a poor gentleman's thigh: shall I tell you sir, you talk of Mor● glay, Excaliber, Durindana, or so: tut, I lend no credit to that is reported of them, I know the virtue of mine own, and therefore I dare the boldlier maintain it.  Step. 
I marl whether it be a Toledo or no?  Bob. 
A most perfect Toledo, I assure you signor.  Step. 
I have a countryman of his here.  Mas. 
Pray you let's see sir: yes faith it is.  Bob. 
This a Toledo? piss.  Step. 
Why do you pish signor?  Bob. 
A Fleming by Phoebus, i'll buy them for a guilder a piece and i'll have a thousand of them.  Lo. iu. 
How say you cousin, I told you thus much.  Pros. 
Where bought you it signor?  Step. 
Of a scurvy rogue Soldier, a pox of God on him, he swore it was a Toledo.  Bob. 
A provant Rapier, no better.  Mat. 
Mass I think it be indeed.  Lo. iu. 
Tut now it's too late to look on it, put it up, put it up.  Step. 
Well I will not put it up, but by God's foot, and ere I meet him—  Pros. 
Oh it is past remedy now sir, you must have patience.  Step. 
Whoreson coney-catching Rascal; oh I could eat the very hilts for anger.  Lo. iu. 
A sign you have a good Ostrich stomach Cousin.  Step. 
A stomach? would I had him here, you should see and I had a stomach.  Pros. 
It's better as 'tis: come gentlemen shall we go?  Enter Musce. Lo. iu. 
A miracle cousin, look here, look here.  Step. 
Oh, God's lid, by your leave, do you know me sir.  Mus. 
I sir, I know you by sight.  Step. 
You sold me a Rapier, did you not?  Mus. 
Yes marry did ay sir.  Step. 
You said it was a Toledo ha?  Mus. 
True I did so.  Step. 
But it is none.  Mus. 
No sir, I confess it, it is none.  Step. 
Gentlemen bear witness, he has confessed it. By God's lid, and you had not confessed it—  Lo. iu. 
Oh cousin, forbear, forbear.  Step. 
Nay I have done cousin.  Pros. 
Why you have done like a Gentleman, he has confessed it, what would you more?  Lo. iu. 
Sirrah how dost thou like him.  Pros. 
Oh it's a precious good fool, make much on him: I can compare him to nothing more happily, than a Barber's virginals; for every one may play upon him.  Mus. 
Gentleman, shall I entreat a word with you?  Lo. iu. 
With all my heart sir, you have not another Toledo to sell, have ye?  Mus. 
You are pleasant, your name is signor Lorenzo as I take it.  Lo. iu. 
You are in the right: 'Sblood he means to catechize me I think.  Mus. 
No sir, I leave that to the Curate, I am none of that coat.  Lo. iu. 
And yet of as bare a coat; well, say sir.  Mus. 
Faith signor, I am but servant to God Mars extraordinary, and indeed (this brass varnish being washed off, and three or four other tricks sublated) I appear yours in reversion, after the decease of your good father, Musco.  Lo. iu. 
Musco, 'sblood what wind hath blown thee hither in this shape.  Mus. 
Your Easterly wind sir, the same that blew your father hither.  Lo. iu. 
My father?  Mus. 
Nay never start, it's true, he is come to town of purpose to seek you.  Lo. iu. 
Sirrah Prospero: what shall we do sirrah, my father is come to the city.  Pros. 
Thy father: where is he?  Mus. 
At a Gentleman's house yonder by Saint Anthony's, where he but stays my return; and then—  Pros. 
Who's this? Musco?  Mus. 
The same sir.  Pros. 
Why how comest thou transmuted thus?  Mus. 
Faith a devise, a devise, nay for the love of God, stand not here Gentlemen, house yourselves and i'll tell you all.  Lo. iu. 
But art thou sure he will stay thy return?  Mus. 
Do I live sir? what a question is that?  Pros. 
Well we'll prorogue his expectation a little: Musco thou shalt go with us: Come on Gentlemen: nay I pray thee (good rascal) droop not, s'hart and our wits be so gouty, that one old plodding brain can outstrip us all, Lord I beseech thee, may they lie and starve in some miserable spittle, where they may never see the face of any true spirit again, but be perpetually haunted with some churchyard Hobgoblin in seculo seculorum.  Mus. 
Amen, Amen.  Exeunt.   

ACTUS TERTIUS.  

SCENA PRIMA.  Enter Thorello, and Piso. Pis. 
He will expect you sir within this half hour.  Tho. 
Why what's a clock?  Pis. 
New stricken ten.  Tho. 
Hath he the money ready, can you tell?  Pis. 
Yes sir, Baptista brought it yesternight.  Tho. 
Oh that's well: fetch me my cloak.  Exit Piso. 
Stay, let me see; an hour to go and come,  
I that will be the least: and than 'twill be  
An hour, before I can dispatch with him;  
Or very near: well, I will say two hours;  
Two hours? ha? things never dreamed of yet  
May be contrived, I and effected too,  
In two hours absence: well I will not go.  
Two hours; no fleeting opportunity  
I will not give your treachery that scope.  
Who will not judge him worthy to be robbed,  
That sets his doors wide open to a thief,  
And shows the fellow, where his treasure lies?  
Again, what earthy spirit but will attempt  
To taste the fruit of beauties golden tree,  
When leaden sleep seals up the dragon's eyes?  
Oh beauty is a Project of some power,  
Chiefly when opportunity attends her:  
She will infuse true motion in a stone,  
Put glowing fire in an Icy soul,  
Stuff peasants bosoms with proud Caesar's spleen,  
power rich device into an empty brain:  
Bring youth to folly's gate: there train him in,  
And after all, extenuate his sin.  
Well, I will not go, I am resolved for that.  
Go carry it again, yet stay: yet do too,  
I will defer it till some other time.  Enter Piso. Piso. 
Sir, signor Platano will meet you there with the bond.  Tho. 
That's true: by jesus I had clean forgot it.  
I must go, what's a clock?  Pis. 
Past ten sir.  Tho. 
'sheart, then will Prospero presently be here too,  
With one or other of his loose consorts.  
I am a jew, if I know what to say,  
What course to take, or which way to resolve.  
My brain (me thinks) is like an hourglass,  
And my imaginations like the sands,  
Run dribbling forth to fill the mouth of time,  
Still changed with turning in the ventricle.  
What were I best to do? it shallbe so.  
Nay I dare build upon his secrecy? Piso.  Piso. 
Sir.  Tho. 
Yet now I have bethought me to, I will not. Is Cob within?  Pis. 
I think he be sir.  Tho. 
But he'll prate too, there's no talk of him.  
No, there were no course upon the earth to this,  
If I durst trust him; tut I were secure,  
But there's the question now, if he should prove,  
Rimarum plenus, then, 'sblood I were Rook.  
The state that he hath stood in till this present▪  
Doth promise no such change▪ what should I fear then?  
Well, come what will, i'll tempt my fortune once.  
Piso, thou mayest deceive me, but I think thou lovest me Piso.  Piso. 
Sir, if a servants zeal and humble duty may be termed love, you are possessed of it.  Tho. 
I have a matter to impart to thee, but thou must be secret, Piso.  Pis. 
Sir for that—  Tho. 
Nay hear me man; think I esteem thee well,  
To let thee in thus to my private thoughts;  
Piso, it is a thing, sits nearer to my crest,  
Then thou art ware of: if thou shouldst reveal it—  Pis. 
Reveal it sir?  Tho. 
Nay, I do not think thou wouldst, but if thou shouldst:  Pis. 
Sir, than I were a villain: Disclaim in me for ever if I do.  Tho. 
He will not swear: he has some meaning sure,  
Else (being urged so much) how should he choose,  
But lend an oath to all this protestation?  
He is no puritan, that I am certain of.  
What should I think of it? urge him again,  
And in some other form: I will do so.  
Well Piso, thou hast sworn not to disclose; I you did swear?  Pis. 
Not yet sir, but I will, so please you.  Tho. 
Nay I dare take thy word.  
But if thou wilt swear; do as you think good,  
I am resolved without such circumstance.  Pis. 
By my soul's safety sir I here protest,  
My tongue shall ne'er take knowledge of a word  
Delivered me in compass of your trust.  Tho. 
Enough, enough, these ceremonies need not,  
I know thy faith to be as firm as brass.  
Piso come hither: nay we must be close  
In managing these actions: So it is,  
(Now he has sworn I dare the safelier speak;)  
I have of late by divers observations—  
But, whether his oath be lawful yea, or no, ha?  
I will ask counsel ere I do proceed:  
Piso, it will be now too long to stay,  
we'll spy some fitter time soon, or to morrow.  Pis. 
At your pleasure sir.  Tho. 
I pray you search the books 'gainst I return For the receipts twixt me and Platano.  Pis. 
I will sir.  Tho. 
And hear you: if my brother Prospero Chance to bring hither any gentlemen Ere I come back: let one strait bring me word.  Pis. 
Very well sir.  Tho. 
Forget it not, nor be not you out of the way.  Pis. 
I will not sir.  Tho. 
Or whether he come or no, if any other, Stranger or else? fail not to send me word.  Pis. 
Yes sir.  Tho. 
Have care I pray you and remember it.  Pis. 
I warrant you sir.  Tho. 
But Piso, this is not the secret I told thee of.  Pis. 
No sir, I suppose so.  Tho. 
Nay believe me it is not.  Pis. 
I do believe you sir.  Tho. 
By heaven it is not, that's enough. Marry, I would not thou shouldst utter it to any creature living. Yet I care not.  
Well, I must hence: Piso conceive thus much,  
No ordinary person could have drawn  
So deep a secret from me; I mean not this,  
But that I have to tell thee: this is nothing, this.  
Piso, remember, silence, buried here:  
No greater hell then to be slave to fear.  Exit Tho. Piso. 
Piso, remember, silence, buried here:  
Whence should this flow of passion (trow) take head? ha?  
Faith i'll dream no longer of this running humour.  
For fear I sink, the violence of the stream  
Already hath transported me so far,  
That I can feel no ground at all: but soft,  Enter Cob. 
Oh it's our water bearer: somewhat has crossed him now.  Cob. 
Fasting days: what tell you me of your fasting days▪ would they were all on a light fire for me: they say the world shall be consumed with fire and brimstone in the latter day: but I would we had these ember weeks, and these villainous fridays burnt in the mean time, and then—  Pis. 
Why how now Cob, what moves thee to this choler? ha?  Cob. 
Collar fire 'swounds I scorn your collar, I sir am no colliers horse sir, never ride me with your collar, and you do, i'll show you a jades trick.  Pis. 
Oh you'll slip your head out of the collar: why Cob you mistake me.  Cob. 
Nay I have my rheum, and I be angry as well as another, sir.  Pis. 
Thy rheum; thy humour man, thou mistakest.  Cob. 
Humour? macke, I think it be so indeed: what is this humour? it's some rare thing I warrant.  Piso. 
Marry i'll tell thee what it is (as 'tis generally received in these days) it is a monster bred in a man by self love, and affectation, and fed by folly.  Cob. 
How? must it be fed?  Pis. 
Oh ay, humour is nothing if it be not fed, why, didst thou never hear of that? it's a common phrase, Feed my humor.  Cob. 
I'll none on it: humour, avaunt, I know you not, be gone. Let who will make hungry meals for you, it shall not be I: Feed you quoth he? s'blood I have much ado to feed myself, especially on these 〈…〉 days too, an't had been any other day but a fasting day: a plague on them all for me: by this light one might have done God good service and have drowned them all in the flood two or three hundred thousand years ago, oh I do stomach them hugely: I have a maw now, an't were for Sir Be●isses horse.  Pis. 
Nay, but I pray thee Cob, what makes thee so out of love with fasting days?  Cob. 
Marry that, that will make any man out of love with them, I think: their bad conditions and you will needs know: First, they are of a Flemish breed I am sure on't, for they raune up more butter than all the days of the week beside: next, they stink of fish miserably: Thirdly, they'll keep a man devoutly hungry all day, & at night send him supperless to bed.  Pis. 
Indeed these are faults Cob.  Cob. 
Nay and this were all, 'twere something, but they are the only known enemies to my generation. A fasting day no sooner comes, but my lineage goes to rack, poor Cobs they smoke for it, they melt in passion, and your maids too know this, and yet would have me turn Hannibal, and eat my own fish & blood: 
Pulls out a red Herring  my princely cousin, fear nothing; I have not the heart to devour you, and I might be made as rich as Goliath: oh that I had room for my tears, I could weep salt water enough now to preserve the lives of ten thousand of my kin: but I may curse none but these filthy Almanacs; for an't were not for them, these days of persecution would ne'er be known. I'll be hanged and some Fishmonger's son do not make on'them, and puts in more fasting days than he should do, because he would utter his father's dried stockfish.  Pis. 
S'oule peace, thou'lt be beaten like a stockfish else: here is signor Matheo. Now must I look out for a messenger to my Master.  Exeunt Cob & Piso. Enter Matheo, Prospero, Lo. junior, Bobadilla, Stephano, Musco.  

SCENA SECUNDA.  Pros. 
Beshrew me, but it was an absolute good jest, and exceedingly well carried.  Lo. iu. 
I and our ignorance maintained it as well, did it not?  Pros. 
Yes faith, but was't possible thou shouldst not know him?  Lo. iu. 
Fore God not I, and I might have been joined patten with one of the nine worthies for knowing him. 'Sblood man, he had so writhen himself into the habit of one of your poor Disparuiew's here, your decayed, ruinous, worm-eaten gentlemen of the round: such as have vowed to sit on the skirts of the city, let your Provost & his half dozen of halberdiers do what they can; and have translated begging out of the old hackney pace, to a fine easy amble, and made it run as smooth of the tongue, as a shove-groat shilling, into the likeness of one of these lean Pirgo's, had he moulded himself so perfectly, observing every trick of their action, as varying the accent: swearing with an Emphasis. Indeed all with so special and exquisite a grace, that (hadst thou seen him) thou wouldst have sworn he might have been the Tamburlaine, or the Agamemnon on the rout.  Pros. 
Why Musco: who would have thought thou hadst been such a gallant?  Lo. iu. 
I cannot tell, but (unless a man had juggled begging all his life time, and been a weaver of phrases from his infancy, for the appareling of it) I think the world cannot produce his Rival.  Pros. 
Where got'st thou this coat I marl'e.  Mus. 
Faith sir, I had it of one of the devils near kinsmen, a Broker.  Pros. 
That cannot be, if the proverb hold, a crafty knave needs no broker.  Mus. 
True sir, but I need a broker, Ergo no crafty knave.  Pros. 
Well put off, well put off.  Lo. iu. 
Tut, he ha's more of these shifts.  Mus. 
And yet where I have one, the broker has ten sir.  Enter Piso. Piso. 
Francisco: Martino: ne'er a one to be found now, what a spite's this?  Pros. 
How now Piso? is my brother within?  Pis. 
No sir, my master went forth e'en now: but signor Giuliano is within. Cob, what Cob: is he gone too?  Pros. 
Whither went thy master? Piso canst thou tell?  Piso. 
I know not, to Doctor Clements, I think sir. Cob.  Exit Piso. Lo. iu. 
Doctor Clement, what's he? I have heard much speech of him.  Pros. 
Why, dost thou not know him? he is the Gonfalionere of the state here, an excellent rare civilian, and a great scholar, but the only mad merry old fellow in Europe: I showed him you the other day.  Lo. iu. 
Oh I remember him now; Good faith, and he hath a very strange presence me thinks, it shows as if he stood out of the rank from other men. I have heard many of his jests in Padua: they say he will commit a man for taking the wall of his horse.  Pros. 
I or wearing his cloak of one shoulder, or any thing indeed, if it come in the way of his humour.  Pis. 
Gasper, Martino, Cob: S'hart, where should they be trow?  Enter Piso. Bob. 
signor Thorello's man, I pray thee vouchsafe us the lighting of this match.  Pis. 
A pox on your match, no time but now to vouchsafe? Francisco, Cob.  Exit. Bob. 
Body of me: here's the remainder of seven pound, since yesterday was seven night. It's your right Trinidado: did you never take any, signor?  Step. 
No truly sir? but i'll learn to take it now, since you commend it so.  Bob. 
signor believe me, (upon my relation) for what I tell you, the world shall not improve. I have been in the Indies (where this herb grows) where neither myself, nor a dozen Gentlemen more (of my knowledge) have received the taste of any other nutriment, in the world, for the space of one and twenty weeks, but Tobacco only. Therefore it cannot be but 'tis most divine. Further, take it in the nature, in the true kind so, it makes an Antidote, that (had you taken the most deadly poisonous simple in all Florence, it should expel it, and clarify you, with as much ease, as I speak. And for your green wound, your Balsamum, and your— are all mere gulleries, and trash to it, especially your Trinidado: your 〈◊〉 is good too: I could say what I know of the virtue of it, for the exposing of rheums, raw humours, crudities, obstructions, with a thousand of this kind; but I profess myself no quacksalver: only thus much: by Hercules I do hold it, and will affirm it (before any Prince in Europe) to be the most sovereign, and precious herb, that ever the earth tendered to the use of man.  Lo. iu. 
Oh this speech would have done rare in apothecaries mouth.  Pis. 
ay; close by Saint Anthony's: Doctor Clements.  Enter Piso and Cob. Cob. 
Oh, Oh.  Bob. 
Where's the match I gave thee?  Pis. 
'Sblood would his match, and he, and pipe, and all were at Sancto Domingo.  Exit. Cob. 
By god's dey●es: I marl what pleasure of felicity they have in taking this roguish Tobacco: it's good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke, and embers: there were four died out of one house last week with taking of it, and two more the bell went for yesternight, one of them (they say) will ne'er scape it, he voided a bushel of soot yesterday, upward and downward. By the stocks; and there were no wiser men than I, I'd have it present death, man or woman, that should but deal with a Tobacco pipe; why, it will stifle them all in the'nd as many as use it; it's little better than rats bane.  Enter Piso. All. 
Oh good signor; hold, hold.  Bob. 
You base cullion, you.  Pis. 
Sir, here's your match; come, thou must needs be talking too.  Cob. 
Nay he will not meddle with his match I warrant you: well it shall be a dear beating, and I live.  Bob. 
Do you prate?  Lo. iu. 
Nay good signor, will you regard the humour of a fool? away knave.  Pros. 
Piso get him away.  Exit Piso, and Cob. Bob. 
A whoreson filthy slave, a turd, an excrement. Body of Cesar, but that I scorn to let forth so mean a spirit, i'd have stabbed him to the earth.  Pros. 
Mary God forbid sir.  Bob. 
By this fair heaven I would have done it.  Step. 
Oh he swears admirably: (by this fair heaven:) Body of Cesar: I shall never do it, sure (upon my salvation) no I have not the right grace.  Mat. 
signor will you any? By this air the most divine Tobacco as ever I drunk.  Lo. iu. 
I thank you sir.  Step. 
Oh this Gentleman doth it rarely too, but nothing like the other. By this air, as I am a Gentleman: by Phoebus.  Exit Bob. and Mat. Mus. 
Master glance, glance: signor Prospero.  Step. 
As I have a soul to be saved, I do protest;  Pros. 
That you are a fool.  Lo. iu. 
Cousin will you any Tobacco?  Step. 
I sir: upon my salvation.  Lo. iu. 
How now cousin?  Step. 
I protest, as I am a Gentleman, but no soldier indeed.  Pros. 
No signor, as I remember you served on a great horse, last general muster.  Step. 
I sir that's true: cousin may I swear as I am a soldier, by that?  Lo. iu. 
Oh yes, that you may.  Step. 
Then as I am a Gentleman, and a soldier, it is divine Tobacco.  Pros. 
But soft, where's signor Matheo? gone?  Mus. 
No sir, they went in here.  Pros. 
Oh let's follow them: signor Matheo is gone to salute his mistress, sirrah now thou shalt hear some of his verses, for he never comes hither without some shreds of poetry: Come signor Stephano, Musco.  Step. 
Musco? where? is this Musco?  Lo. iu. 
ay, but peace cousin, no words of it at any hand.  Step. 
Not I by this fair heaven, as I have a soul to be saved, by Phoebus.  Pros. 
Oh rare! your cousin's discourse is simply suited, all in oaths.  Lo. iu. 
ay, he lacks nothing but a little light stuff, to draw them out withal, and he were rarely fitted to the time.  Exeunt.  

ACTUS TERTIUS, SCENA TERTIA.  Enter Thorello with Cob. Tho. 
Ha, how many are there, sayest thou?  Cob. 
Marry sir, your brother, signor Prospero.  Tho. 
Tut, beside him: what strangers are there man?  Cob. 
Strangers? let me see, one, two; mass I know not well there's so many.  Tho. 
How? so many?  Cob. 
ay, there's some five or six of them at the most.  Tho. 
A swarm, a swarm,  
Spite of the Devil, how they sting my heart!  
How long hast thou been coming hither Cob?  Cob. 
But a little while sir.  Tho. 
Didst thou come running?  Cob. 
No sir.  Tho. 
Tut, than I am familiar with thy haste.  
Bane to my fortunes: what meant I to marry?  
I that before was ranked in such content,  
My mind attired in smooth silken peace,  
Being free master of mine own free thoughts,  
And now become a slave? what, never sigh,  
Be of good cheer man: for thou art a cuckold,  
'Tis done, 'tis done: nay when such flowing store,  
Plenty itself falls in my wives lap,  
The Cornu-copia will be mine I know. But Cob,  
What entertainment had they? I am sure  
My sister and my wife would bid them welcome, ha?  Cob. 
Like enough: yet I heard not a word of welcome.  Tho. 
No, their lips were sealed with kisses, and the voice  
Drowned in a flood of joy at their arrival,  
Had lost her motion, state and faculty.  
Cob, which of them was't that first kissed my wife?  
(My sister I should say) my wife, alas,  
I fear not her: ha? who was it sayst thou?  Cob. 
By my troth sir, will you have the truth of it?  Tho. 
Oh I good Cob: I pray thee.  Cob. 
God's my judge, I saw no body to be kissed, unless they would have kissed the post, in the middle of the warehouse; for there I left them all, at their Tobacco with a pox.  Tho. 
How? were they not gone in then ere thou cam'st?  Cob. 
Oh no sir.  Tho. 
Spite of the Devil, what do I stay here then? Cob, follow me.  Exit. Tho. Cob. 
Nay, soft and fair, I have eggs on the spit; I cannot go yet sir: now am I for some divers reasons hammering, hammering revenge: oh for three or four gallons of vinegar, to sharpen my wits: Revenge, vinegar revenge, russet revenge; nay, and he had not line in my house, 'twould never have grieved me; but being my guest, one that i'll be sworn, my wife has lent him her smock off her back, while his own shirt ha' been at washing: pawned her neckerchiefs for clean bands for him: sold almost all my platters to buy him Tobacco; and yet to see an ingratitude wretch: strike his host; well I hope to raise up an host of furies for't: here comes M. Doctor.  Enter Doctor Clement, Lorenzo sen, Peto. Clem. 
What's signor Thorello gone?  Pet. 
I sir.  Clem. 
heart of me, what made him leave us so abruptly How now sirrah; what make you here? what would you have, ha?  Cob. 
an't please your worship, I am a poor neighbour of your worships.  Clem. 
A neighbour of mine, knave?  Cob. 
I sir, at the sign of the water-tankard, hard by the green lattice: I have paid scot and lott● there any time this eighteen years.  Clem. 
What, at the green lattice?  Cob. 
No sir: to the parish: mary I have seldom 'scaped scotfree free at the lattice.  Clem. 
So: but what business hath my neighbour?  Cob. 
an't like your worship, I am come to crave the peace of your worship.  Clem. 
Of me, knave? peace of me, knave? did I ere hurt thee? did I ever threaten thee? or wrong thee? ha?  Cob. 
No gods my comfort, I mean your worship's warrant, for one that hath wronged me sir: his arms are at too much liberty, I would fain have them bound to a treaty of peace, and I could by any means compass it.  Loren. 
Why, dost thou go in danger of thy life for him?  Cob. 
No sir; but I go in danger of my death every hour by his means; and I die within a twelvemonth and a day, I may swear, by the laws of the land, that he killed me.  Clem. 
How? how knave? swear he killed thee? what pretext? what colour hast thou for that?  Cob. 
Mary sir: both black and blue, colour enough, I warrant you I have it here to show your worship.  Clem. 
What is he, that gave you this sirrah?  Cob. 
A Gentleman in the city sir.  Clem. 
A Gentleman? what call you him?  Cob. 
signor Bobadilla.  Clem. 
Good: But wherefore did he beat you sirrah? how began the quarrel twixt you? ha: speak truly knave, I advise you.  Cob. 
Marry sir, because I spoke against their vagrant Tobacco, as I came by them: for nothing else.  Clem. 
Ha, you speak against Tobacco? Peto, his name.  Pet. 
What's your name sirra?  Cob. 
Oliver Cob, sir set Oliuer Cob, sir.  Clem. 
Tell Oliuer Cob he shall go to the jail.  Pet. 
Oliuer Cob, master Doctor says you shall go to the jail.  Cob. 
Oh I beseech your worship for gods love, dear master Doctor.  Clem. 
Nay gods precious: and such drunken knaves as you are come to dispute of Tobacco once; I have done: away with him.  Cob. 
Oh good master Doctor, sweet Gentleman.  Lore. 
Sweet Oliver, would I could do thee any good; master Doctor let me entreat sir.  Clem. 
What? a tankard-bearer, a threadbare rascal, a beggar, a slave that never drunk out of better than pisspot mettle in his life, and he to deprave, and abuse the virtue of an herb, so generally received in the courts of princes, the chambers of nobles, the bowers of sweet Ladies, the cabins of soldiers: Peto away with him, by god's passion, I say, go too.  Cob. 
Dear master Doctor.  Loren. 
Alas poor Oliver.  Clem. 
Peto: ay: and make him a warrant, he shall not go, I but fear the knave.  Cob. 
O divine Doctor, thanks noble Doctor, most dainty Doctor, delicious Doctor.  Exeunt Peto with Cob. Clem. 
signor Lorenzo: Gods pity man, Be merry, be merry, leave these dumps.  Loren. 
Troth would I could sir: but enforced mirth (In my weak judgement) he's no happy birth.  
The mind, being once a prisoner unto cares,  
The more it dreams on joy, the worse it fares.  
A smile look is to a heavy soul,  
As a guilt bias, to a leaden bowl,  
Which (in itself) appears most vile, being spent.  
To no true use; but only for ostent.  Clem. 
Nay but good signor: hear me a word, hear me a word, your cares are nothing; they are like my cap, soon put on, and as soon put off. What? your son is old enough, to govern himself; let him run his course, it's the only way to make him a stayed man: if he were an unthrift, a ruffian, a drunkard or a licentious liver, than you had reason: you had reason to take care: but being none of these, God's passion, and I had twice so many cares, as you have, I'd drown them all in a cup of sack: come, come, I muse your parcel of a soldier returns not all this while.  Exeunt.  

SCENA QVARTA.  Enter Giuliano, with Biancha. Giul. 
Well sister, I tell you true: and you'll find it so in the end.  Bia. 
Alas brother, what would you have me to do? I cannot help it; you see, my brother Prospero he brings them in here, they are his friends.  Giu. 
His friends? his friends? 'sblood they do nothing but haunt him up and down like a sort of unlucky Spirits, and tempt him to all manner of villainy, that can be thought of; well, by this light, a little thing would make me play the devil with some of them; an't were not more for your husband's sake, than any thing else, I'd make the house too hot for them; they should say and swear, Hell were broken loose, ere they went: But by god's bread, 'tis no body's fault but yours: for and you had done as you might have done, they should have been damned ere they should have come in, ere a one of them.  Bia. 
God's my life; did you ever hear the like? what a strange man is this? could I keep out all them think you? I should put myself against half a dozen men? should I? Good faith you'd mad the patientest body in the world, to hear you talk so, without any sense or reason.  Enter Matheo with Hesperida, Bobadilla, Stephano, Lorenzo iu, Prospero, Musco. Hesp. 
Servant (in troth) you are too prodigal of your wits treasure; thus to power it forth upon so mean a subject, as my worth?  Mat. 
You say well, you say well.  Gif. 
Heyday, hear is stuff.  Lo. iu. 
Oh now stand close: pray God she can get him to read it.  Pros. 
Tut, fear not: I warrant thee, he will do it of himself with much impudency.  Hes. 
Servant, what is that same I pray you?  Mat. 
Mary an Elegy, an Elegy, an oddetoy.  Gui. 
I to mock an Ape with all, Oh Iesu.  Bia. 
Sister, I pray you let's hear it.  Mat. 
Mistress I'll read it if you please.  Hes. 
I pray you do servant.  Gui. 
Oh hear's no foppery. 'Sblood it freates me to the gall to think on it.  Exit. Pros. 
Oh I, it is his condition, peace: we are fairly rid of him.  Mat. 
Faith I did it in an humor: I know not how it is, but please you come near signor: this gentleman hath judgement, he knows how to censure of a.— I pray you sir, you can judge.  Step. 
Not I sir: as I have a soul to be saved, as I 〈…〉.  Lo. iu. 
Nay it's well; so long as he doth not forswear himself.  Bob, 
signor you abuse the excellency of your mistress, and her fair sister. Fie while you live avoid this prolixity.  Mat. 
I shall sir: well, Incipere dulce.  Le. iu. 
How, Incipere dulce? a sweet thing to be a Fool indeed.  Pros. 
What, do you take Incipere in that sense?  Lo. it. 
You do not you? 'Sblood this was your villainy to gull him with a motto.  Pros. 
Oh the Bencher's phrase: Pauca verba, Pauca verba.  Mat. 
Rare creature let me speak without offence,  
Would God my rude words had the influence:  
To rule thy thoughts, as thy fair looks do mine,  
Then shouldst thou be his prisoner, who is thine.  Lo. iu. 
S'hart, this is in Hero and Leander?  Pros. 
Oh I: peace, we shall have more of this.  Mat. 
Be not unkind and fair misshapen stuff,  
Is of behaviour boisterous and rough:  
How like you that signor, 'sblood he shakes his head like a bottle, to feel and there be any brain in it.  Mat. 
But observe the Catastrophe now,  
And I in duty will exceed all other.  
As you in beauty do excel loves mother.  Lo iu. 
Well 〈◊〉 have him free of the brokers, for he utters nothing but stolen remnants.  Pros. 
Nay good Critic forbear.  Lo. iu. 
A pox on him, hang him filching rogue, steal from the dead? its worse than sacrilege.  Pros. 
Sister what have you hear? verses? I pray you let's see.  Bia. 
Do you let them go so lightly sister.  Hes. 
Yes faith when they come lightly.  Bia. 
ay but if your servant should hear you, he would take it heavily.  Hes. 
No matter he is able to bear.  Bia. 
So are Asses.  Hes. 
so is he.  Pros. 
signor Matheo, who made these verses? they are excellent good.  Mat. 
Oh God sir, it's your pleasure to say so sir. Faith I made them extempore this morning.  Pros. 
How extempore?  Mat. 
I would I might be damned else: ask signor Bobadilla. He saw me write them, at the: (pox on it) the Mitre yonder.  Mus. 
Well, and the Pope knew he cursed the Mitre it were enough to have him excommunicated all the Taverns in the town.  Step. 
cozen how do you like this gentleman's verses.  Lo. iu. 
Oh admirable, the best that ever I heard.  Step. 
By this fair heavens, they are admirable, The best that ever I heard.  Enter Giuliano. Giu. 
I am vexed I can hold never a bone of me still, 'Sblood I think they mean to build a Tabernacle hear, well?  Pros. 
Sister you have a simple servant hear, that crowns your beauty with such Enconiums and devices, you may see what it is to be the mistress of a wit, that can make your perfections so transeparent, that every blear eye may look through them, and see him drowned over head and ears, in the deep well of desire. Sister Biancha I marvel you get you not a servant that can rhyme and do tricks too.  Giu. 
Oh monster? impudence itself; tricks?  Bia. 
Tricks, brother? what tricks?  Hes. 
Nay, speak I pray you, what tricks?  Bia. 
ay, never spare any body hear: but say, what tricks?  Hes. 
Passion of my heart? do tricks?  Pros. 
'Sblood hear's a trick vied, and revied: why you monkeys you? what a caterwauling do you keep? has he not given you rhymes, and verses, and tricks.  Giu. 
Oh see the Devil?  Pros. 
Nay, you lamp of virginity, that take it in snuff so: come and cherish this tame poetical fury in your servant, you'll be begged else shortly for a concealment: go to, reward his muse, you cannot give him less than a shilling in conscience, for the book he had it out of cost him a teston at the least, how now gallants, Lorenzo, signior Bobadilla? what all sons of silence? no spirit.  Giu. 
Come you might practise your Ruffian tricks somewhere else, and not hear I wiss: this is no Tavern, nor no place for such exploits.  Pros. 
'Sheart how now.  Giu. 
Nay boy, never look askance at me for the matter; i'll tell you of it by God's bread? ay, and you and your companions mend yourselves when I have done.  Pros. 
My companions.  Gui. 
I your companions sir, so I say? 'Sblood I am not afraid of you nor them neither, you must have your Poets, & your caveleeres, & your fools follow you up and down the city, and hear they must come to domineer and swagger? sirrah, you Ballad singer, and Slops your fellow there, get you out; get you out: or (by the will of God) I'll cut of your ears, go to.  Pros. 
'Sblood stay, let's see what he dare do: cut of his ears you are an ass, touch any man hear, and by the Lord i'll run my rapier to the hilts in thee.  Gui. 
Yea, 
They all draw, enter Piso and some more of the house to part them, the women make a great cry.  that would I fain see, boy.  Bia. 
Oh Iesu Piso, Matheo murder.  Hes. 
Help, help, Piso.  Lo. iu. 
Gentlemen, Prospero, forbear I pray you.  Bob. 
Well sirrah, you Hollofernus: by my hand I will pink thy flesh full of holes with my rapier for this, I will by this good heaven: nay let him come, let him come, gentlemen by the body of S. George i'll not kill him. 
The offer to fight again and are parted.   Piso. 
Hold, hold forbear:  Gui. 
You whoreson bragging coystryll.  Enter Thorello. Tho. 
Why, how now? what's the matter? what stir is hear,  
Whence springs this quarrel, Pizo where is he?  
Put up your weapons, and put of this rage.  
My wife and sister they are cause of this,  
What, Pizo? where is this knave.  Pizo. 
Hear sir.  Pros. 
Come, let's go: this is one of my brothers ancient humours this?  Steph. 
I am glad no body was hurt by this ancient humour.  Exit Prospero, Lorenzo iu. Musco, Stephano, Bobadillo, Matheo, Tho. 
Why how now brother, who enforced this brawl.  Gui. 
A sort of lewd rakehells, that care neither for God nor the Devil, And they must come hear to read Ballads and Roguery ' and Trash, I'll mar the knot of them ere I sleep perhaps: especially signor Pithagorus, he that's all manner of shapes: and Songs and sonnets, his fellow there.  Hes. 
Brother indeed you are to violent,  
To sudden in your courses, and you know  
My brother Prosperus temper will not bear  
Any reproof, chiefly in such a presence,  
Where every slight disgrace he should receive,  
Would wound him in opinion and respect.  Gu. 
Respect? what talk you of respect 'mongst such  
As had neither spark of manhood nor good manners,  
By God I am ashamed to hear your respect?  Exit. Hes. 
Yes there was one a civil gentleman,  
And very worthily demeaned himself.  Tho. 
Oh that was some love of yours, sister.  Hes. 
A love of mine? infayth I would he were No others love but mine.  Bia. 
Indeed he seemed to be a gentleman of an exceeding fair disposition, and of very excellent good parts.  Exit Hesperida, Biancha. Tho. 
Her love, by jesus: my wife's minion,  
Fair disposition? excellent good parts?  
S'hart, these phrases are intolerable,  
Good parts? how should she know his parts? well▪ well,  
It is too plain, too clear: Pizo, come hither.  
What are they gone?  Pi. 
I sir they went in.  Tho. 
Are any of the gallants within?  Pi. 
No sir they are all gone.  Tho. 
Art thou sure of it?  Pi. 
I sir I can assure you.  Tho. 
Pizo what gentleman was that they praised so?  Pizo. 
One they call him signor Lorenzo, a fair young gentleman sir.  Tho. 
ay, I thought so: my mind gave me as much:  
'Sblood i'll be hanged if they have not hid him in the house,  
Some where, i'll go search, Piza go with me,  
Be true to me and thou shalt find me bountiful.  Exeunt.  

SCENA QVINTA.  Enter CoB, to him Tib. Cob. 
What Tib, Tib, I say.  Tib. 
How now, what cuckold is that knocks so hard? Oh husband ist you, what's the news?  Cob. 
Nay you have stonnd me I faith? you hue given me a knock on the forehead, will stick by me: cuckold? 'Swounds cuckold?  Tib. 
Away you fool did I know it was you that knocked, Come, come, you may call me as bad when you list.  Cob. 
May I? 'swounds Tib you are a whore:  Tib. 
S'hart you lie in your throat.  Cob. 
How the lie? and in my throat too? do you long to be stabbed, ha?  Tib. 
Why you are no soldier?  Cob. 
Mass that's true, when was Bobadilla hear? that Rogue, that slave, that fencing Burgullian? I'll tickle him I faith.  Tib. 
Why what's the matter?  Cob. 
Oh he hath basted me rarely, sumptuously: but I have it hear will souse him, oh the doctor, the honestest old Trojan in all Italy, I do honour the very flea of his dog: a plague on him he put me once in a villainous filthy fear: marry it vanished away like the smoke of Tobacco: but I was smookt sound first, I thank the Devil, and his good Angel my guest: well wife: or Tib (which you will) get you in, and lock the door I charge you, let no body into you: not Bobadilla himself; nor the devil in his likeness; you are a woman; you have flesh and blood enough in you; therefore be not tempted; keep the door shut upon all comers.  Tib. 
I warrant you there shall no body enter hear without my consent.  Can. 
Nor with your consent sweet Tib and so I leave you.  Tib. 
It's more than you know, whether you leave me so.  Cob. 
How?  Tib. 
Why sweet.  Cob. 
Tut sweet or sour, thou art a flower,  
Keep close thy door, I ask no more.  Exeunt.  

SCENA SEXTA.  Enter Lorenzoiu. Prospero, Stephano, Musco. Lor. iu. 
Well Musco perform this business happily,  
And thou makest a conquest of my love forever,  Pros. 
I faith now let thy spirits put on their best habit,  
But at any hand remember thy message to my brother.  
For there's no other means to start him?  Mus. 
I warrant you sir, fear nothing I have a nimble soul that hath waked all my imaginative forces by this time, and put them in true motion: what you have possessed me withal? 'llle discharge it amply sir. Make no question.  Exit Musco. Pros. 
That's well said Musco: faith sirrah how dost thou, approve my wit in this devise?  Le. iu. 
Troth well, howsoever? but excellent if it take.  Pros. 
Take man: why it cannot choose, but take, if the circumstances miscarry not, but tell me zealously: dost thou affect my sister Hesperida as thou pretendest?  Lo. iu. 
Prospero by jesu.  Pros. 
Come do not protest I believe thee: I faith she is a virgine of good ornament, and much modesty, un esse I conceived very worthily of her, thou shouldest not have her.  Lo. iu. 
Nay I think it a question whether I shall have her for all that.  Pros. 
'Sblood thou shall have her, by this light thou shalt?  Lo. iu. 
Nay do not swear.  Pros. 
By S. Mark thou shalt have her: i'll go fetch her presently, point but where to meet, and by this hand i'll bring her?  Lo. iu. 
Hold, hold, what all policy dead? no prevention of mischiefs stirring.  Pros. 
Why, by what shall I swear by? thou shalt have her by my soul.  Lo. iu. 
I pray the have patience I am satisfied: Prospero omit no offered occasion, that may make my desires complete I beseech thee.  Pros. 
I warrant thee.  Exeunt.   

ACTUS QUARTUS,  

SCENA PRIMA.  Enter Lorenzo signior, Peto, meeting Musco. Peto. 
Was your man a soldier sir.  Lo. 
I a knave I took him up begging upon the way,  
This morning as I was coming to the city,  
Oh? hear he is; come on, you make fair speed:  
Why? whereon God's name have you been so long?  Mus. 
Mary (God's my comfort) where I thought I should have had little comfort of your worship's service:  Lo. 
How so?  Mus. 
Oh God sir? your coming to the city, & your entertainment of men, and your sending me to watch; indeed, all the circumstances are as open to your son as to yourself.  Lo. 
How should that be? unless that villain Musco  
Have told him of the letter, and discovered  
All that I strictly charged him to conceal? 'tis so.  Mus. 
I faith you have hit it: 'tis so indeed.  Lo. 
But how should he know thee to be my man.  Mus. 
Nay, sir, I cannot tell; unless it were by the black art? is not your son a scholar sir?  Lo. 
Yes; but I hope his soul is not allied  
To such a devilish practice: if it were,  
I had just cause to weep my part in him,  
And curse the time of his creation.  
But where didst thou find them Portensio?  Mus. 
Nay sir, rather you should ask where the found me? for i'll be sworn I was going along in the street, thinking nothing, when (of a sudden) one calls, signor Lorenzo's man: another, he cries soldier: and thus half a dozen of them, till they had got me within doors, where I no sooner came, but out flies their rapiers and all bent against my breast, they swore some two or three hundredth oaths, and all to tell me I was but a dead man, if I did not confess where you were, and how I was employed, and about what, which when they could not get out of me: (as Gods my judge, they should have killed me first) they locked me up into a room in the top of a house, where by great miracle (having a light heart) I slide down by a bottom of packthread into the street, and so scaped: but master, thus much I can assure you, for I heard it while I was locked up: there were a great many merchants and rich citizens wives with them at a banquet, and your son signor Lorenzo, has pointed one of them to meet anon at one Cobs house, a water-bearers? that dwells by the wall: now there you shall be sure to take him: for fail he will not.  Lo. 
Nor will I fail to break this match, I doubt not;  
Well: go thou along with master doctor's man,  
And stay there for me? at one Cobs house sayst thou.  Exit. Mus. 
I sir, there you shall have him: when can you tell? much wench, or much son: 'sblood when he has stayed there three or four hours, traveling with the expectation of somewhat; and at the length be delivered of nothing: oh the sport that I should then take to look on him if I durst but now I mean to appear no more afore him in this shape: I have another trick to act yet? oh that I were so happy, as to light upon an ounce now of this doctor's clerk: God save you sir,  Peto. 
I thank you good sir.  Mus. 
I have made you stay somewhat long sir.  Peto. 
Not a whit sir, I pray you what sir do you mean: you have been lately in the wars sir it seems.  Mus. 
I Marry have I sir.  Peto. 
Troth sir, I would be glad to bestow a pottle of wine of you if it please you to accept it.  Mus. 
Oh Lord sir.  Peto. 
But to hear the manner of you services, and your devices in the wars, they say they be very strange, and not like those a man reads in the Roman histories.  Mus. 
Oh God no sir, why at any time when it please you, I shall be ready to discourse to you what I know: and more to somewhat.  Peto. 
No better time than now sir, we'll go to the mermaid there we shall have a cup of neat wine, I pray you sir let me request you.  Mus. 
I'll follow you sir, he is mine own I faith.  Exeunt. Enter Babadillo, Lorenzo iu, Matheo, Stephano. 
Mat signor did you ever see the like cloune of him, where we were to day: signor Prosperos brother? I think the whole earth cannot show his like by jesu.  Lo. 
We were now speaking of him, signor Bobadillo tells me he is fallen foul of you two.  Mat. 
Oh I sir, he threatened me with the bastinado.  Bo. 
I but I think I taught you atrick this morning for that.  
You shall kill him without all question: if you be so minded.  Mat. 
Indeed it is a most excellent trick.  Bo. 
Oh you do not give spirit enough to your motion, you are too dull, too tardy: oh it must be done like lightning, hay?  Mat. 
Oh rare.  Bob. 
Tut 'tis nothing an't be not done in a—  Lo. iu. 
signor did you never play with any of our masters here.  Mat. 
Oh good sir.  Bob. 
Nay for a more instance of their preposterous humour, there came three or four of them to me, at a gentleman's house, where it was my chance to be resident at that time, to entreat my presence at their schools, and withal so much importuned me, that (I protest to you as I am a gentleman) I was ashamed of their rude demeanour out of all measure: well, I told them that to come to a public school they should pardon me, it was opposite to my humour but if so they would attend me at my lodging, I protested to do them what right or favour I could, as I was a gentleman, etc.  Lo. iu. 
So sir, than you tried their skill.  Bob. 
Alas soon tried: you shall hear sir, within two or three days after, they came, and by jesus good signor believe me, I graced them exceedingly, showed them some two or three tricks of prevention, hath got them since admirable credit, they cannot deny this; and yet now they hate me, and why? because I am excellent, and for no other 〈…〉 earth.  Lo. iu. 
This is strange and vile as ever I heard.  Bob. 
I will tell you sir upon my first coming to the city, they assaulted me some three, four, five, six, of them together as I have walked alone, in divers places of the city; as upon the exchange, at my lodging, and at my ordinary: where I have driven them afore me the whole length of a street, in the open view of all our gallants, pitying to hurt them believe me; yet all this lenity will not depress their spleen: they will be doing with the Pismire, raising a hill, a man may spurn abroad with his foot at pleasure: by my soul I could have slain them all, but I delight not in murder: I am loath to hear any other but a bastinado for them, and yet I hold it good policy not to go disarmed, for though I be skilful, I may be suppressed with multitudes.  Lo. iu. 
I by jesus may you sir and (in my conceit) our whole nation should sustain the loss by it, if it were so.  Bob. 
Alas no: what's a peculiar man, to a nation? not seen.  Lo iu. 
I but your skill sir.  Bob. 
Indeed that might be some loss, but who respects it? I will tell you signor (in private) I am a gentleman, and live here obscure, and to myself: but were I known to the Duke (observe me) I would undertake (upon my head and life) for the public benefit of the state, not only to spare the entire lives of his subjects in general, but to save the one half: nay there parts of his yearly charges, in holding wars generally against all his enemies? and how will I do it think you?  Lo. iu. 
Nay I know not, nor can I conceive.  Bo. 
Marry thus, I would select 19 more to myself, throughout the land, gentlemen they should be of good spirit; strong & able constitution, I would choose them by an instinct, a trick that I have: & I would teach these 19 the special tricks, as your Punto, your Reverso, your Stoccata, your Imbroccato, your Passado, your Montaunto, till they could all play very near or altogether as well as myself. this done; say the enemy were forty thousand strong: we twenty would come into the field the tenth of March, or there about; & would challenged twenty of the enemy? they could not in there honour refuse the combat: well, we would kill them: challenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them; twenty more, kill them too; and thus would we kill every man, his twenty a day, that's twenty score; twenty score, that's two hundredth; two hundredth a day, five days a thousand: forty thousand; forty times five, five times forty, two hundredth days kills them all, by computation, and this will I venture my life to perform: provided there be no treason practised upon us.  Lo. iu. 
Why are you so sure of your hand at all times?  Bob. 
Tut, never mistrust upon my soul.  Lo. iu. 
Mass I would not stand in signor Giuliano state, then;  
And you meet him, for the wealth of Florence.  Bob. 
Why signor, by jesus if he were hear now: I would not draw my weapon on him, let this gentleman do his mind but I will bastinado him (by heaven) & ever I meet him.  Mat. 
faith and i'll have a fling at him.  Enter Giuliano and goes out again. Lo. iu. 
Look yonder he goes I think.  Gui. 
'Sblood what luck have I, I cannot meet with these bragging rascals,  Bob. 
It's not he: is it?  Lo. iu. 
Yes faith it is he?  Mat. 
I'll be hanged then if that were he.  Lo. iu. 
Before God it was he: you make me swear.  Step. 
Upon my salvation it was he.  Bob. 
Well had I thought it had been he: he could not have gone so, but I cannot be induced to believe it was he yet.  Enter Giulliano. Giu. 
Oh gallant have I found you? draw to your tools, draw, or by God's will i'll thrash you.  Bob. 
signor hear me?  Gui. 
Draw your weapons then:  Bob. 
signor, I never thought it till now: body of S. George, I have a warrant of the peace served on me even now, as I came along by a waterbearer, this gentleman saw it, signor Matheo.  Giu. 
The peace? 'Sblood, you will not draw?  Matheo runs away. He beats him and disarms him. Lo. iu. 
Hold signor hold, under thy favour forbear.  Giu. 
Prate again as you like this you whoreson cowardly rascal, you'll control the point you? your consort he is gone? had he stayed he had shared with you infayth.  Exit Giulliano. Bob. 
Well gentlemen bear witness I was bound to the peace, by jesu.  Lo. iu. 
Why and though you were sir, the law allows you to defend yourself; that's but a poor excuse.  Bob. 
I cannot tell; I never sustained the like disgrace (by heaven) sure I was struck with a Planet then, for I had no power to touch my weapon.  Exit. Lo. iu. 
I like enough I have heard of many that have been beaten under a planet; go get you to the Surgeons, 'sblood and these be your tricks, your passadoes, & your Mountauntoes ilenone of them: oh God that this age should bring forth such creatures? come cozen.  Step. 
Mass i'll have this cloak.  Lo. iu. 
God's will: it's Giullianos.  Step. 
Nay but 'tis mine now, another might have tane it up aswell as I, I'll wear it so I will.  Lo. iu. 
How and he see it, he'll challenge it assure yourself.  Step. 
I but he shall not have it; I'll say I bought it.  Lo. iu. 
Advise you cozen, take heed he give not you as much.  Exeunt. Enter Thorello, Prospero, Biancha Hesperida. Tho. 
Now trust me Prospero you were much to blame,  
T'incense your brother and disturb the peace,  
Of my poor house, for there be sentinels,  
That every minute watch to give alarames,  
Of civil war, without adjection,  
Of your assistance and occasion.  Pros. 
No harm done brother I warrant you: since there is no harm done, anger costs a man nothing: and a tall man is never his own man till he be angry, to keep his valour in obscurity: is to keep himself as it were in a cloak-bag: what's a musician unless he play? what's a tall man unless he fight? for indeed all this my brother stands upon absolutely, and that made me fall in with him so resolutely.  Bia. 
I but what harm might have come of it?  Pros. 
Might? so might the good warm clothes your husband wears be poisoned for any thing he knows, or the wholesome wine he drunk even now at the table.  Tho. 
Now God forbid: O me? now I remember,  
My wife drunk to me last; and changed the cup,  
And bade me wore this cursed suit to day,  
See, if God suffer murder undiscovered?  
I feel me ill; give me some Mithredate,  
Some Mithredate and oil; good sister fetch me,  
O, I am sick at heart: I burn, I burn;  
If you will save my life go fetch it me.  Pros. 
Oh strange humour my very breath hath poisoned him.  Hes. 
Good brother be content, what do you mean, The strength of these extreme conceits will kill you?  Bia. 
Beshrew your heart blood, brother Prospero, For putting such a toy into his head.  Pros. 
Is a fit simile, a toy? will he be poisoned with a simile?  
Brother Thorello, what a strange and vain imagination is this?  
For shame be wiser, of my soul there's no such matter.  Tho. 
Am I not sick? how am I then not poisoned? Am I not poisoned? how am I then so sick?  Bia. 
If you be sick, your own thoughts make you sick.  Pros. 
His iealoucie is the poison he hath taken.  Enter Musco like the doctors man. Mus. 
signor Thorello my master doctor Clement salutes you, and desires to speak with you, with all speed possible.  Tho. 
No time but now? well, i'll wait upon his worship, Pizo, Cob, i'll seek them out, and set them sentinels till I return. Pizo, Cob, Pizo.  Exit. Pros. 
Musco, this is rare, but how got'st thou this apparel of the doctors man.  Mus. 
Marry sir. My youth would needs bestow the wine of me to hear some martial discourse; where I so marshaled him, that I made him monstrous drunk, & because too much heat was the cause of his distemper, I stripped him stark naked as he lay along a sleep, and borrowed his sewt to deliver this counterfeit message in, leaving a rusty armour, and an old brown bill to watch him; till my return: which shall be when I have pawned his apparel, and spent the money perhaps.  Pros. 
Well thou art a mad knave Musco, his absence will be a good subject for more mirth: I pray the return to thy young master Lorenzo, and will him to meet me and Hesperida at the Friary presently: for here tell him the house is so stirred with jealousy, that there is no room for love to stand upright in: but i'll use such means she shall come thither, and that I think will meet best with his desires: high thee good Musco.  Mus. 
I go sir.  Exit. Enter Thorello to him Pizo. Tho. 
Ho Pizo, Cob, where are these villains trow?  
Oh, art thou there? Pizo hark thee here:  
Mark what I say to thee, I must go forth;  
Be careful of thy promise, keep good watch,  
Note every gallant and observe him well,  
That enters in my absence to thy mistress;  
If she would show him rooms, the jest is stale,  
Follow them Pizo or else hang on him,  
And let him not go after, mark their looks?  
Note if she offer but to see his band,  
Or any other amorous toy about him,  
But praise his leg, or foot, or if she say,  
The day is hot, and bid him feel her hand,  
How hot it is, oh that's a monstrous thing:  
Note me all this, sweet Pizo; mark their sighs,  
And if they do but whisper break them off,  
I'll bear thee out in it: wilt thou do this?  
Wilt thou be true sweet Pizo?  Pi. 
Most true sir.  Tho. 
Thanks gentle Pizo: where is Cob? now: Cob?  Exit Thorello Bia. 
he's ever calling for Cob, I wonder how he employs Cob so.  Pros. 
Indeed sister to ask how he employs Cob, is a necessary question for you that are his wife, and a thing not very easy for you to be satisfied in: but this i'll assure you Cobs wife is an excellent bawd indeed: and oftentimes your husband haunts her house, marry to what end I cannot altogether accuse him, imagine you what you think convenient: but I have known fair hides have foul hearts ear now, I can tell you.  Bia. 
Never said you truer than that brother? Pizo fetch your cloak, and go with me, i'll after him presently: I would to Christ I could take there I faith.  Exeunt Pizo and Biancha. Pros. 
So let them go: this may make sport anon, now my fair sister Hesperida: ah that you knew how happy a thing it were to be fair and beautiful?  Hes. 
That toucheth not me brother.  Pros. 
That's true: that's even the fault of it, for indeed beauty stands a woman in no stead, unless it procure her touching: but sister whether it touch you or Noah, it touches your beauties, and I am sure they will abide the touch, and they do not a plague of all ceruse say I, and it touches me to inpart, though not in thee. Well, there's a dear and respected friend of mine sister, stands very strongly affected towards you, and hath vowed to inflame whole bonfires of zeal in his heart, in honour of your perfections, I have already engaged my promise to bring you where you shall hear him confirm much more than I am able to lay down for him: signor Lorenzo is the man: what say you sister shall I entreat so much favour of you for my friend, is too direct and attend you to his meeting? upon my soul he loves you extremely, approve it sweet Hesperida will you?  Hes. 
Hayth I had very little confidence in mine own costancie if I durst not meet a man: but brother Prospero this motion of your savours of an old knight adventurers servant, me thinks.  Pros. 
What's that sister.  Hes. 
Marry of the squire.  Pros. 
No matter Hesperida if it did, I would ve such an one for my friend, but say, will you go?  Hes. 
Brother I will, and bless my happy stars.  Enter Clement and Thorello. Clem. 
Why what villainy is this? my man gone on a false message, and run away when he has done, why what trick is there in it trow? 1.2.3.4. and 5.  Tho. 
How: is my wife gone forth, where is she sister?  Hes. 
she's gone abroad with Pizo.  Tho. 
Abroad with Pizo? oh that villain dors me.  
He hath discovered all unto my wife,  
Beast that I was to trust him: whither went she?  Hes. 
I know not sir.  Pros. 
I'll tell you brother whither I suspect she's gone.  Tho. 
Whither for god's sake?  Pros. 
To Cobs house I believe: but keep my counsel.  Tho. 
I will, I will, to Cobs house? doth she haunt Cobs,  
she's gone a purpose now to cuckold me,  
With that lewd rascal, who to win her favour,  
Hath told her all.  Clem. 
But did you mistress see my man bring him a message.  Pros. 
That we did master doctor.  Clem. 
And whither went the knave?  Pros. 
To the Tavern I think sir.  Clem. 
What did Thorello give him any thing to spend for the message he brought him? if he did I should commend my man's wit exceedingly if he would make himself drunk, with the joy of it, farewell Lady, keep good rule you two: I beseech you now: by Gods marry my man makes me laugh.  Exit. Pros. 
What a mad Doctor is this? come sister let's away.  Exeunt. Enter Matheo and Bobadillo. Mat. 
I wonder signor what they will say of my going away: ha?  Bob. 
Why, what should they say? but as of a discreet gentleman.  
Quick, wary, respectful of natures,  
Fair lineaments, and that's all.  Mat. 
Why so, but what can they say of your beating?  Bob. 
A rude part, a touch with soft wood, a kind of gross battery used, laid on strongly: born most patiently, and that's all.  Mat. 
I but would any man have offered it in Venice?  Bob. 
Tut I assure you no: you shall have there your Nobilis, your Gentelezza, come in bravely upon your reverse, stand you close, stand you farm, stand you fair, save your retricato with his left leg, come to the assaulto with the right, thrust with brave steel, defy your base wood. But wherefore do I awake this remembrance? I was bewitched by jesus: but I will be revenged.  Mat. 
Do you hear ist not best to get a warrant and have him arrested, and brought before doctor Clement.  Bob. 
It were not amiss would we had it.  Enter Musco. Mat. 
Why here comes his man, let's speak to him.  Bob. 
Agreed, do you speak.  Mat. 
God save you sir.  Mus. 
With all my heart sir?  Mat. 
Sir there is one Giulliano hath abused this gentleman and me, and we determine to make our amends by law, now if you would do us the favour to procure us a warrant for his arrest of your master, you shall be well considered I assure, I faith sir.  Mus. 
Sir you know my service is my living, such favours as these gotten of my master is his only preferment, and therefore you must consider me, as I may make benefit of my place.  Mat. 
How is that?  Mus. 
faith sir, the thing is extraordinary, and the gentleman may be of great account: yet be what he will, if you will lay me down five crowns in my hand, you shall have it, otherwise not.  Mat. 
How shall we do signor? you have no money.  Bob. 
Not a cross by jesu.  Mat. 
Nor I before God but two pence: left of my two shillings in the morning for wine and 〈◊〉 let's give him some pawn.  Bob. 
Pawn? we have none to the value of his demand.  Mat. 
Oh Lord, man, 'llle pawn this jewel in my eare, and you may pawn your silk stockings, and pull up your boots, they will near be mist.  Bob. 
Well and there be no remedy: i'll step aside and put them of.  Mat. 
Do you hear sir, we have no store of money at this time, but you shall have good pawns, look you sir, this jewel, and this gentleman's silk stockings, because we would have it dispatched ere we went to our chambers.  Mus. 
I am content sir, I will get you the warrant presently what's his name say you (Giulliano.)  Mat. 
ay, I, Giulliano.  Mus. 
What manner of man is he?  Mat. 
A tall big man sir, he goes in a cloak most commonly of silk russet: laid about with russet lace.  Mus. 
'Tis very good sir.  Mat. 
Here sir, here's my jewel?  Bob. 
And hear are stockings.  Mus. 
Well gentlemen i'll procure this waarrant presently, and appoint you a varlet of the city to serve it, if you'll be upon the Rialto anon, the varlet shall meet you there.  Mat. 
Very good sir I wish no better.  Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo. Mus. 
This is rare, now will I go pawn this cloak of the doctor's man's at the brokers for a varlet's suit, and be the varlet myself, and get either more pawns, or more money of Giulliano for my arrest.  Exit.   

ACTUS QVINTUS.  

SCENA PRIMA.  Enter Lorenzo senior. Lo. se. 
Oh hear it is, I am glad I have found it now, Ho? who is within hear?  Enter Tib. Tib. 
I am within sir, what's your pleasure?  Lo. se. 
To know who is within besides yourself.  Tib. 
Why sir, you are no constable I hope?  Lo. se. 
O fear you the constable? then I doubt not,  
You have some guests within deserve that fear,  
I'll fetch him strait.  Tib. 
A God's name sir.  Lo. se. 
Go to, tell me is not the young Lorenzo here?  Tib. 
Young Lorenzo, I saw none such sir, of mine honesty.  Lo. se. 
Go to, your honesty flies too lightly from you: There's no way but fetch the constable.  Tib. 
The constable, the man is mad I think.  Claps to the door. Enter Pizo, and Biancha. Pizo. 
Ho, who keeps house here?  Lo. se. 
Oh, this is the female copes-mate of my son.  
Now shall I meet him strait.  Bia. 
Knock Pizo pray thee.  Pi. 
Ho good wife.  Tib. 
Why what's the matter with you.  Enter Tib. Bia. 
Why woman, grieves it you to open your door? Belike you get something to keep it shut.  Tib. 
What mean these questions pray ye?  Bia. 
So strange you make it? is not Thorello my tried husband here.  Lo. se. 
Her husband?  Tib. 
I hope he needs not to be tried here.  Bia. 
No dame: he both it not for need but pleasure.  Tib. 
Neither for need nor pleasure is he here.  Lo. se. 
This is but a devise to baulk me with all; Soft, who's this?  Enter Thorello. Bia. 
Oh sir, have I forestalled your honest market?  
Found your close walks? you stand amazed now, do you?  
I faith (I am glad) I have smoked you yet at last;  
What's your jewel trow? In: come let's see her;  
Fetch forth your housewife, dame; if she be fairer  
In any honest judgement than myself,  
I'll be content with it: but she is change,  
She feeds you fat; she soothes your appetite,  
And you are well: your wife an honest woman,  
Is meat twice sod to you sir; A you trencher.  Lo. se. 
She cannot counterfeit this palpably.  Tho. 
Out on thee more than strumpet's impudency,  
Stealest thou thus to thy haunts? and have I taken,  
Thy bawd, and thee, and thy companion?  
This hoary headed lecher, this old goat  
Close at your villainy, and wouldst thou 'scuse it,  
With this stale harlot's jest, accusing me?  
O old incontinent, dost thou not shame,  
When all thy powers inchastity is spent,  
To have a mind so hot? and to entice  
And feed the enticements of a lustful woman?  Bia. 
Out I defy thee I, dissembling wretch:  Tho. 
Defy me strumpet? ask thy paunder here. Can he deny it? or that wicked elder.  Lo. sen. 
Why hear you signor?  Tho. 
Tut, tut, never speak,  
Thy guilty conscience will discover thee:  Lo. se. 
What lunacy is this that haunts this man?  Enter Giulliano. Giu. 
Oh sister did you see my cloak?  Bia. 
Not I, I see none.  Giu. 
God's life I have lost it then, saw you Hesperida?  Tho. 
Hesperida? is she not at home  Giu. 
No she is gone abroad, and no body can tell me of it at home.  Exit. The. 
Oh heaven,? abroad? what light? a harlot too?  
Why? why? hark you, hath she? hath she not a brother?  
A brother's house to keep? to look unto?  
But she must fling abroad, my wife hath spoiled her,  
She takes right after her, she does, she does,  
Well you goody bawd and—  Enter Cob. 
That make your husband such a hoddy dody;  
And you young apple squire, and old cuckold maker,  
I'll have you every one before the Doctor,  
Nay you shall answer it I charged you go.  Lo. se 
Marry with all my hart, I'll go willingly: how have I wronged myself in coming here.  Bi. 
Go with thee? i'll go with thee to thy shame. I warrant thee.  Cob. 
Why what's the matter? what's here to do?  Tho. 
What Cob art thou here? oh I am abused,  
And in thy house, was never man so wronged.  Cob. 
'Slid in my house? who wronged you in my house?  Tho. 
Marry young lust in old, and old in young here,  
Thy wife's their bawd, here have I taken them.  Cob. 
Do you here? 
Cob beats his wife.  did I not charge you keep your doors shut here, and do you let them lieopen for all comers, do you scratch.  Lo. se. 
Friend have patience if she have done wrong in this let her answer it afore the Magistrate.  Cob. 
ay, come, you shall go afore the Doctor.  Tib. 
Nay, I will go, i'll see and you may be aloud to beat your poor wife thus at every cuckoldly knaves pleasure, the Devil and the Pox take you all for me: why do you not go now.  The. 
A bitter quean, come we'll have you tamed.  Exeunt Enter Musco alone. Mus. 
Well of all my disguises yet now am I most like myself being in this varlets suit, a man of my present profession never counterfeits till he lay hold upon a debtor, and says he rests him, for than he brings him to all manner of unrest; A kind of little kings we are, bearing the diminutive of a mace made like a young Hartechocke that always carries Pepper and salt in itself, well I know not what danger I under go by this exploit, pray God I come well of.  Enter Bobadilla and Matheo. Mat. 
See I think yonder is the varlet.  Bob. 
Let's go inquest of him.  Mat. 
God save you friend, are not you here by the appointment of doctor Clemants man.  Mus. 
Yes and please you sir, he told me two gentlemen had wild him to procure an arrest upon one signor Giulliano by a warrant from his master, which I have about me.  Mat. 
It is honestly done of you both, and see where he comes you must arrest, upon him for God's sake before he beware.  Enter Stephano. Bob. 
Bear back Matheo?  Mus. 
signor Giulliano I arrest you sir in the Duke's name.  Step. 
signor Giulliano? am I signor Giulliano? I am one signor Stephano I tell you, and you do not well by Gods slid to arrest me, I tell you truly; I am not in your masters books, I would you should well know I: and a plague of God on you for making me afraid thus.  Mus. 
Why, how are you deceived gentlemen?  Bob. 
He wears such a cloak, and that deceived us, But see here a comes, officer, this is he.  Enter Giulliano. Giu. 
Why how now signor gull: are you a turned flincher of late. come deliver my cloak.  Step. 
Your cloak sir? I bought it even now in the market.  Must 
signor Giulliano I must arrest you sir.  Giu. 
Arrest me sir, at whose suit?  Mus. 
At these two gentlemen's.  Giu. 
I obey thee varlet; but for these villianes—  Mus. 
Keep the peace I charge you sir, in the Duke's name Sir.  Giu. 
What's the matter varlet?  Mus. 
You must go before master doctor Clement sir, to answer what these gentlemen will object against you, hark you sir, I will use you kindly.  Mat. 
we'll be even with you sir, come signor Bobadilla. we'll go before and prepare the doctor: varlet look to him.  Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo. Bob. 
The varlet is a tall man by jesu.  Giu. 
Away you rascals, signor I shall have my cloak.  Step. 
Your cloak: I say once again I bought it, and i'll keep it.  Giu. 
You will keep it?  Step. 
ay, that I will.  Giu. 
Varlet stay, here's thy fee arrest him.  Mus. 
signor Stephano I arrest you.  Step. 
Arrest me? there take your cloak: i'll none of it.  Giu. 
Nay that shall not serve your turn, varlet, bring him away, I'll go with thee now to the doctors, and carry him along.  Step. 
Why is not here your cloak? what would you have?  Giu. 
I care not for that.  Mus. 
I pray you sir.  Giu. 
Never talk of it; I will have him answer it.  Mus. 
Well sir then i'll leave you, i'll take this gentleman's word for his appearance, as I have done yours.  Giu. 
Tut i'll have no words taken, bring him along to answer it.  Mus. 
Good sir I pity the gentleman's case, here's your money again.  Giu. 
God's bread, tell not me of my money, bring him away I say.  Mus. 
I warrant you, he will go with you of himself.  Giu. 
Yet more ado?  Mus. 
I have made a fair mash of it.  Step. 
Must I go?  Exeunt. Enter doctor Clement, Thorello, Lorenzo, se. Biancha, Pizo, Tib, a servant or two of the Doctors. Clem. 
Nay but stay, stay give me leave; my chair sirrah? you signor Lorenzo say you went thither to meet your son.  Lo. se. 
I sir.  Clem. 
But who directed you thither?  Lo. se. 
That did my man sir?  Clem. 
Where is he?  Lo. se. 
Nay I know not now, I left him with your clerk,  
And appointed him to stay here for me.  Clem. 
About what time was this?  Lo. se. 
Marry between one and two as I take it.  Clem. 
So, what time came my man with the message to you signor Thorello?  Tho. 
After two sir.  Clem. 
Very good, but Lady how that you were at Cobs: ha?  Bia. 
And please you sir, i'll tell you: my brother Prospero told me that Cobs house was a suspected place.  Clem. 
So it appears me thinks; but on,  Bia. 
And that my husband used thither daily;  Clem. 
No matter, so he use himself well.  Bia. 
True sir, but you know what grows by such haunts oftentimes.  Clem. 
ay, rank fruits of a jealous brain Lady: but did you find your husband there in that case, as you suspected.  Tho. 
I found her there sir.  Clem. 
Did you so? that altars the case; who gave you knowledge of your wives being there?  Tho. 
Marry that did my brother Prospero.  Clem. 
How Prospero, first tell her, then tell you after? where is Prospero.  The. 
Gone with my sister sir, I know not whither.  Clem. 
Why this is a mere trick, a devise; you are gulled in this most grossly: alas poor wench wert thou beaten for this, how now sirha what's the matter? Enter one of the Do. men.  Ser. 
Sir there's a gentleman in the court without desires to speak with your worship.  Clem. 
A gentleman? what's he?  Ser. 
A Soldier, sir, he sayeth.  Clem. 
A Soldier? fetch me my armour, my sword, quickly a soldier speak with me, why when knaves,— come on, come on, hold my cap there, so; give me my gorget, my sword stand by I will end your matters anon; let the soldier enter, now sir what have you to say to me?  Enter Bobadillo and Matheo. Bob. 
By your worship's favour.  Clem. 
Nay keep out sir, I know not your pretence, you send me word sir you are a soldier, why sir you shall be answered here, here be them have been amongst Soldiers. Sir your pleasure.  Bob. 
faith sir so it is: this gentleman and myself have been most violently wronged by one signor Giulliano: a gallant of the city here and for my own part I protest, being a man in no sort given to this filthy humour of quarrelling, he hath asaulted me in the way of my peace: despoiled me of mine honour, disarmed me of my weapons, and beaten me in the open streets: when I not so much as once offered to resist him.  Clem. 
Oh Gods precious is this the soldier? here take my armour quickly, 'twill make him swoon I fear; he is not fit to look on't, that will put up a blow.  Enter Servant. Mat. 
An'dt please your worship he was bound to the peace.  Clem. 
Why, and he were sir, his hands, were not bound, were they?  Ser. 
There is one of the varlets of the city, has brought two gentlemen here upon arrest sir.  Clem. 
Bid him come in, set by the picture: now sir, what? signor Giulliano? ist you that are arrested at signor freshwaters suit here.  Enter Mus. with Gin. & Stephano. Giu. 
I faith master Doctor, and here's another brought at my suit.  Clem. 
What are you sir.  Step. 
A gentleman sir? oh uncle?  Clem. 
Uncle? who, Lorenzo?  Le. se. 
I Sir.  Step. 
God's my witness my uncle, I am wronged here monstrously, he chargeth me with stealing of his cloak, & would I might never stir, if I did not find it in the street by chance.  Giu. 
Oh did you find it now? you said you bought it ere while?  Step. 
And you said I stole it, nay now my uncle is here I care not.  Clem. 
Well let this breath a while; you that have cause to complain there, stand forth; had you a warrant for this arrest.  Bob. 
I an'dt please your worship.  Clem. 
Nay do not speak in passion so, where had you it?  Bob. 
Of your clerk sir.  Clem. 
That's well and my clerk can make warrants, and my hand not at them; where is the warrant? varlet have you it?  Mus. 
No sir your worships man bid me do it; for these gentlemen and he would be my discharge.  Clem. 
Why signor Giulliano, are you such a novice to be arrested and never see the warrant?  Giu. 
Why sir, he did not arrest me.  Clem. 
No? how then?  Giu. 
Marry sir he came to me and said he must arrest me, and he would use me kindly, and so forth.  Clem. 
Oh Gods pity, was it so sir, he must arrest you: give me my long sword there: help me of; so, come on sir varlet, I must cut of your legs sirha; nay stand up i'll use you kindly; I must cut of your legs I say.  Mus. 
Oh good sir I beseech you, nay good master doctor, Oh good sir.  Clem. 
I must do it; there is no remedy;  
I must cut of your legs sirrah.  
I must cut of your ears, you rascal I must do it;  
I must cut of your nose, I must cut of your head.  Mus. 
Oh for God sake good Master Doctor.  Clem. 
Well rise how dost thou now? dost thou feel thy self well? hast thou no harm?  Mus. 
No I thank God sir and your good worship.  Clem. 
Why so I said I must cut of thy legs, and I must cut of thy arms, and I must cut of thy head: but I did not do it: so you said you must arrest this gentleman, but you did not arrest him you knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must arrest sirrah: away with him to the jail, i'll teach you a trick for your must.  Mus. 
Good M. Doctor I beseech you be good to me.  Clem. 
Marry a God: away with him I say.  Mus. 
Nay 'sblood before I go to prison, i'll put on my old brazen face, and disclaim in my vocation: I'll discover that's flat, and I be committed, it shall be for the committing of more villainies than this, hung 〈…〉 I lose the least grain of my fame.  Clem. 
Why? when knave? by Gods marry, i'll clap thee by the heels 〈◊〉.  Mus. 
Hold, hold I pray you.  Clem. 
What's the matter? stay there.  Mus. 
faith sir afore I go to this house of bondage, I have a case to unfold to your worship: which (that it may appear more plain unto your worships view) I do thus first of all uncase, & appear in mine own proper nature, servant to this gentleman: and known by the name of Musco.  Lo. se. 
Ha? Musco.  Step. 
Oh uncle, Musco has been with my cozen and I all this day.  Clem. 
Did not I tell you there was some devise.  Mus. 
Nay good M. Doctor since I have laid myself thus open to your worship: now stand strong for me, till the progress of my tale be ended, and then if my wit do not deserve your countenance: 'Slight throw it on a dog, and let me go hang myself.  Cle. 
Body of me a merry knave, give me a bowl of Sack, signor Lorenzo, I bespeak your patience in particular, marry your ears in general, here knave, Doctor Clement drinks to thee.  Mus. 
I pledge M. Doctor and 't were a sea to the bottom.  Cle. 
Fill his bowl for that, fill his bowl: so, now speak freely.  Mus. 
Indeed this is it will make a man speak freely. But to the point, know then that I Musco (being somewhat more trusted of my master then reason required and knowing his intent to Florence) did assume the habit of a poor soldier in wants, and minding by some means to intercept his journey in the mid way, twixt the grandg and the city, I encountered him, where begging of him in the most accomplished and true garb (as they term it) contrary to all expectation, he reclaimed me from that bad course of life; entertained me into his service, employed me in his business possessed me with his secrets, which I no sooner had received, but (seeking my young master, and finding him at this gentleman's house) I revealed all most amply: this done, by the devise of signor Prospero, and him together, I returned (as the Raven did to the Ark) to mine old master again, told him he should find his son in what manner he knows, at one Cobs house, where indeed he never meant to come, now my master lie to maintain the jest, went thither, and left me with your worship's clerk: who being of a most fine supple disposition (as most of your clerks are) proffers me the wine, which I had the grace to accept very easily, and to the tavern we went: there after much ceremony, I made him drunk in kindness, stripped him to his shirt, and leaving him in that cool vain, departed, frolic, courtier like, having obtained a suit: which suit fitting me exceedingly well, I put on, and usurping your man's phrase & action, carried a message to signor Thorello in your name: which message was merely devised but to procure his absence, while signor Prospero might make a conveyance of Hesperida to my master.  Clem. 
Stay, fill me the bowl again, here; 'twere pity of his life would not cherish such a spirit: I drink to thee, fill him wine, why now do you perceive the trick of it.  The. 
ay, I, perceive well we were all abused-  La. se. 
Well what remedy?  Clem. 
Where is Lorenzo, and Prospero canst thou tell?  Mus. 
I sir, they are at supper at the mermaid, where I left your man.  Clem. 
Sirrah go warn them hither presently before me: and if the hour of your fellows resurrection become bring him to. But forward, forward, when thou hadst been at Thorrellos.  Exit servant. Mus. 
Marry sir (coming along the street) these two gentlemen meet me, and very strongly supposing me to be your worships scribe, entreated me to procure them a warrant, for the arrest of signor Giulliano, I promised them upon some pair of silk stockings or a jewel, or so, to do it, and to get a varlet of the city to serve it, which varlet I appointed should meet them upon the Rialto at such an hour, they no sooner gone, but I in a mere hope of more gain by signor Giulliano, went to one of Satan's old Ingles a broker, & there pawned your man's livery, for a varlet's suit, which here with myself, I offer unto your worship's consideration.  Clem. 
Well give me thy hand: Proh. superi ingenium magnum quis noscit Homerum. Illias 〈◊〉 si latuisset opus? I admire thee I honour thee, and if thy master, or any man here be angry with thee, I shall suspect his wit while I know him for it, do you hear signor Thorello, signor Lorenzo, and the rest of my good friends, I pray you let me have peace when they come, I have sent for the two gallants and Hesperida, Gods marry I musi have you friends, how now? what noyseis there?  Enter servant, than Peto. Ser. 
Sir it is Peto is come home.  Cle. 
Peto bring him hither, bring him hither, what how now signor drunkard, in arms against me, ha? your reason your reason for this.  Pe. 
I beseech your worship to pardon me.  Clem. 
Well, sirrah tell him I do pardon him.  Pe. 
Truly sir I did happen into bad company by chance and they cast me in a sleep and stripped me of all my clothes.  Clem. 
Tut this is not to the purpose touching your armour, what might your armour signify.  Pe. 
Marry first hung in the room where they stripped me, and I borrowed it of on of the drawers, now in the evening to come home in, because I was loath to come through the street in my shirt.  Enter Lorenzo junior, Prospero, Hesperida. Clem. 
Well disarm him, but it's no matter let him stand by, who be these? oh young gallants; welcome, welcome, and you Lady, nay never scatter such amazed looks amongst us, Qui nil potest sperare desperet nihil.  Pros. 
Faith M. Doctor that's even I, my hopes are small, and my despair shall be as little. Brother, sister, brother what cloudy, cloudy? and will no sunshine on these looks appear, well since there is such a tempest toward, i'll be the porpuis, i'll dance: wench be of good cheer, thou hast a cloak for the rain yet, where is he? S'hart how now, the picture of the prodigal, go to i'll have the calf dressed for you at my charges.  Lo. se. 
Well son Lorenzo, this days work of yours hath much deceived my hopes, troubled my peace, and stretched my patience further than became the spirit of duty.  Cle. 
Nay Gods pity signor Lorenzo you shall urge it no more come since you are here, i'll have the disposing of all, but first signor Giulliano at my request take your cloak again.  Giu. 
Well sir I am content.  Cle. 
Stay now let me see, oh signor Snow-liuer I had almost forgotten him, and your Genius there, what doth he suffer for a good conscience to? doth he bear his cross with patience.  Mu. 
Nay they have scarce one cross between them both to bear.  Clem. 
Why dost thou know him, what is he? what is he?  Mus. 
Marry search his pocket sir, and the●e show you he is an Author Sir.  Cle. 
Dic mihi musa virum: are you an Author sir, give me leave a little, come on sir, i'll make verses with you now in honour of the Gods, and the Goddesses for what you dare extempore; and now I begin.  
Mount the my Phlegon muse, and testify,  
How Saturn sitting in an Ebon cloud,  
disrobed his podex, white as ivory,  
And through the welkin thundered all aloud. there's for you sir.  Pros. 
Oh he writes not in that height of style.  Clem. 
No: we'll come a step or two lower then.  
From Catadupa and the banks of Nile,  
Where only breeds your monstrous Crocodile:  
Now are we purposed for to fetch our style.  Pros. 
Oh too far fetched for him still master Doctor:  Clem. 
ay, say you so, let's entreat a sight of his vain then?  Pros. 
signor, master Doctor desires to see a sight of your vain, nay you must not deny him.  Cle. 
What; all this verse, body of me he carries a whole realm; a common wealth of paper in his hose, let's see some of his subjects.  

Unto the boundless ocean of thy beauty,  
runs this poor river, charged with streams of zeal,  
Returning thee the tribute of my duty:  
Which here my youth, my plaints, my love reveal.   
Good? is this your own invention?  Mat. 
No sir; I translated that out of a book, called Delia.  C. 
Oh but I would see some of your own, some of your own.  Mat. 
Sir; here's the beginning of a sonnet I made to my mistress.  Clem. 
That that: who? to Maddona Hesperida is she your mistress.  Pros. 
It pleaseth him to call her so, sir.  Clem. 
In Summer time when Phoebus' golden rays.  
You translated this too? did you not?  Pros. 
No this is invention; he found it in a ballad.  Mat. 
faith sir; I had most of the conceit of it out of a ballad indeed.  Clem. 
Conceit, fetch me a couple of torches, sirrah, I may see the conceit: quickly? its very dark?  Giu. 
Call you this poetry?  Lo. iu. 
Poetry? nay then call blasphemy, religion;  
Call Devils, Angels; and Sin, piety:  
Let all things be preposterously transchangd.  Lo. se. 
Why how now son? what? are you startled now?  
Hath the breeze pricked you? ha? go to; you see,  
How abjectly your Poetry is ranked, in general opinion.  Lo. iu. 
Opinion, O God let gross opinion sink & be damned  
As deep as Barathrum,  
If it may stand with your most wished content,  
I can refel opinion and approve,  
The state of poesy, such as it is,  
Blessed, aeternal, and most true divine:  
Indeed if you will lock on Poesy,  
As she appears in many, poor and lame,  
Patched up in remnants and old worn rags,  
Half starved for want of her peculiar food:  
Sacred invention, than I must confirm,  
Both your conceit and censure of her merit,  
But view her in her glorious ornaments,  
Attired in the majesty of art,  
Set high in spirit with the precious taste,  
Of sweet philosophy, and which is most,  
Crowned with the rich traditions of a soul,  
That hates to have her dignity profaned,  
With any relish of an earthly thought:  
Oh them how proud a presence doth she bear.  
Then is she like herself fit to be seen,  
Of none but grave and consecrated eyes:  
Nor is it any blemish to her fame.  
That such lean▪ ignorant, and blasted wits,  
Such brainless gulls, should utter their stolen wares  
With such aplauses in our vulgar ears:  
Or that their slubbered lines have currant pass,  
From the fat judgements of the multitude,  
But that this barren and infected age,  
Should set no difference twixt these empty spirits,  
And a true Poet: than which reverend name,  
Nothing can more adorn humanity.  Enter with torch's. Clem. 
I Lorenzo, but election is now governed altogether by the influence of humour, which instead of those holy flames that should direct and light the soul to eternity, hurls forth nothing but smoke and congested vapours, that stifle her up, & bereave her of all sight & motion. But she must have store of Ellebore, given her to purge these gross obstructions: oh that's well said, give me thy torch, come lay this stuff together. So, give fire? there, see, see, how our Poet's glory shines brighter, and brighter, still, still it increaseth, oh now it's at the highest, and now it declines as fast: you may see gallants, Sic transit gloria mundi. Well now my two signor out sides, stand forth, and lend me your large ears, to a sentence, to a sentence: first you signor shall this night to the cage, and so shall you sir, from thence to morrow morning, you signor shall be carried to the market cross, and be there bound: and so shall you sir, in a large motley coat, with a rod at your girdle; and you in an old suit of sackcloth, and the ashes of your papers (save the ashes sirrah) shall mourn all day, and at night both together sing some ballad of repentance very piteously, which you shall make to the tune of Who list to lead and a soldiers life, Sirrah bill man, embrace you this torch, and light the gentlemen to their lodgings, and because we tender their safety, you shall watch them to night, you are provided for the purpose. away and look to your charge with an open eye sirrah.  Bob. 
Well I am armed in soul against the worst of fortune.  Mat. 
faith so should I be, and I had slept on it.  Pe. 
I am armed too, but I am not like to sleep on it.  Mus. 
Oh how this pleaseth me.  Exeunt. Clem. 
Now signor Thorello, Giulliano, Prospero, Biancha.  Step. 
And not me sir.  Clem. 
Yes and you sir: I had lost a sheep and he had not bleated, I must have you all friends: but first a word with you young gallant, and you Lady.  Giu. 
Well brother Prospero by this good light that shines here I am loath to kindle fresh coals, but and you had come in my walk within these two hours I had given you that you should not have clawne of again in haste, by jesus I had done it, I am the arrenst rogue that ever breathed else, but now beshrew my heart if I bear you any malice in the earth.  Pros. 
Faith I did it but to hold up a jest: and help my sister to a husband, but brother Thorello, and sister, you have a spice of the yealous yet both of you, (in your hose I mean,) come do not dwell upon your anger so much, let's all be smooth foreheaded once again.  Tho. 
He plays upon my fore head, brother Giulliano, I pray you tell me one thing I shall ask you: is my forehead any thing rougher than it was wont to be.  Giu. 
Rougher? your forehead is smooth enough man.  Tho. 
Why should he then say? be smooth foreheaded,  
Unless he jested at the smoothness of it?  
And that may be; for horn is very smooth;  
So are my brows? by jesus, smooth as horn?  Bia. 
Brother had he no haunt thither in good faith?  Pros. 
No upon my soul.  Bia. 
Nay then sweet heart: nay I pray the be not angry, good faith i'll never suspect thee any more, nay kiss me sweet musse.  Tho. 
Tell me Biancha, do not you play the woman with me.  Bia. 
What's that sweet heart.  Tho. 
Dissemble?  Bia. 
Dissemble?  Tho. 
Nay do not turn away: but say I faith was it not a match appointed twixt this old gentleman and you?  Bia. 
A match.  Tho. 
Nay if it were not, I do not care: do not weep I pray thee sweet Biancha, nay so now? by jesus I am not jealous, but resolved I have the faithfulst wife in Italy.  
For this I find where jealousy is fed,  
Horns in the mind, are worse than on the head.  
See what a drove of horns fly in the air,  
Winged with my cleansed, and my credulous breath:  
Watch them suspicious eyes, watch where they fall,  
See see, on heads that think they have none at all.  
Oh what a plenteous world of this will come,  
When air raynes horns, all men besure of some.  Clem. 
Why that's well, come then: what say you are all agreed? doth none stand out.  Pros. 
None but this gentleman: to whom in my own person I owe all duty and affection: but most seriously entreat pardon, for whatsoever hath passed in these occurrants, that might be contrary to his most desired content.  Lo. 
faith sir it is a virtue that pursues,  
Any save rude and uncomposed spirits,  
To make a fair construction and indeed  
Not to stand of, when such respective means,  
Invite a general content in all.  Clem. 
Well then I conjure you all here to put of all discontentment, first you signor Lorenzo your cares; you, and you, your jealousy: you your anger, and you your wit sir: and for a peace offering, here's one willing to be sacrificed upon this altar: say do you approve my motion?  Pros. 
We do i'll be mouth for all.  Clem. 
Why then I wish them all joy, and now to make our evening happiness more full: this night you shall be all my guests: where we'll enjoy the very spirit of mirth, and carouse to the health of this Heroic spirit, whom to honour the more I do invest in my own robes, desiring you two Giulliano, and Prospero, to be his supporters, the train to follow, myself will leaden, usherd by my page here with this honourable verse. Claudite iam rivos pueri sat prata biberunt.  
FINIS.