CATHAROS.  
Diogenes in his Singularity.  
Wherein is comprehended his merry baighting fit for all men's benefits: Christened by him, A Nettle for Nice Noses,  
By T. L. of Lincoln's Inn, Gent: 1591.  
AT LONDON, Printed by William Hoskins & john Danter, for john Busbie.   

To the Right Worshipful Sir john nn Knight, all health and Happiness.  
HEathen people (Right Worshipful) lead by Nature, abhorred nothing more than a man Ingrateful: The Christians taught from Heaven, command nothing oftener than to be thankful. To avoid the reproof of the one, and obey the charge of the other, I present your Worship (in sign of my sincere affect) with this small conceit, penned by a Gentleman my dear friend. The matter may at the first sight (I grant) seem nothing grave, but in the proceeding it will prove Gracious: Diogenes reproves the vicious, commends the virtuous, unmasks sin, and sets down remedies. If you accept it and forget my boldness, my desire is satisfied, and the Author no less pleased.  
Your Worships humbly john Busbie.   

Diogenes to such as are disposed to Read.  
MEn, or Gentlemen, if ye be Gentlemen or men, accept the salutations of a Cynic: Diogenes wisheth infinite good speed to your good proceedings, and curseth endlessly your ill demeanours: wishing the last to perish without supposing, the first to flourish without supplanting. That Diogenes is a Dog, the worst doubt not: his reprehensions dogged, the most deny not: for what fool blinded with earth's vanity, accounts not reproof bitter, and the just reprover a biter. Seeing then the world is grown so sensual, no marvel though Cynics be slightly set by. If any of you read and like, why then it likes me: if read and dislike, yet it likes me: for Philosophy hath taught me to set as light by envy, as flattery. Greediness hath got up all the garden plots, and hardly have I a room left to turn my Tub round in: the best field flowers now fade, and better than Nettles my lands will not afford. They that list may take, the rest leave, and so I leave you.  
Every good meaners well-willer, Diogenes.   

CATHAROS Diogenes in his singularity.  

Interlocutors:  
Diogenes.  
Philoplutos.  
Cosmosophos.   Diogenes': 
A goodly day if men were as good: The Sun I see riseth upon many, but not to their amendment. Good God what a City Athens is? Here are fair houses, but false hearts: Many tenements fit to make Temples for the Gods, but few owners in them that tempt not the Gods: I see here goodly Palaces, & rich, that spew out their Masters for Riot; A fair market place to encertain much mischief. I wonder when our great Masters rise, how many sins shall rise with them? Damocles lately acquainted with Philautia in speaking her fair spendeth her much, and having a bold face hath gotten bountiful fortune, Aristippus though old yet lives he by the flattery of Alexander, and whether is it better (my Genius) to be fleabitten, or flout-bitten? There are so many faces now in mask, that the World runs all a masking: and so many bad men thrive by countenance, that necessity is the best man's cognisance. Athens hath many men that will spend a treasure for a title, yet having gained the worldly title of happiness, (alas) how is it tickle? Is it not a gay world? I saw Lais jest with Alcibiades last night, and he endured it: But when Photion the last day told him he was proud (jupiter help me) how was he peevish? Our Signiors are severe, our Ladies austeare. It fareth in Athens as among the Sybarites, who chase away Cocks from their Cities, because they are too watchful: and our Athenians counsel from them, for fear they should become honest. What should Diogenes then do but be singular, to see the better sort so sensual? I think it rather better to wear patches on my cloak, than to bear the patch on my head: & rather to feed on roots, than to be defiled with riot: to serve Nature in want, than Fortune in wickedness. But why speak I of want? breath I not air with the King? Is not sufficiency a sumptuous banquet, warmth a worthy raiment, and a good thought a true kingdom? Tut, Diogenes is rich: who loytereth not on down, whilst others lack devotion: who sleepeth (with Aristotle) to wake, and studieth (with Cleanthes) to watch. But soft, Cosmosophos door is opened, and Philoplutos is stirring: shroud thee Diogenes, the one hath a stinking breath that corrupteth many complexions: the other a far reach which (exceeding the compass of the Moon) maketh some men sick for want of the Sun. So, see, how they press forth: O Mercury, what God so ever hath a Temple, I am assured thou hast a plentiful Altar. In former ages Devotion was thy father, now Dooblenesse is thy furtherer: thou hadst wings in thy hat, but they are molten, and from their dust wickedness is sprung in thy followers hearts. Blessing on him, how gravely looketh Philoplutos, nodding on his Mule as Silenus on his Ass, pretending much gravity, but not a grain of honesty. Now shall our Notaries get some coin: but note this, there is some roosenage: the still stream is deepest, & the stern look doublest. Ah Fox, are ye walking? But see, they are in conference: the rot consume them, for they consume the world. Hid thee Cynic: it is better to be Lord in thy tub, than a lackey in their triumphs. They approach me, I would my curses could drive them from me. They cleave like burrs to woolly garments, and draw fleeces of wit from Philosophers: applying it as crafty Physicians do their corrosives, smothering much pain under pleasant persuasion, and making the world believe that Venus is all wanton, in that (the report runneth) she was bred of the foam of the water. Hushed Diogenes, the vultures are at hand: silence in these days is a trim safe-conduct.  Cosmo: 
God give you a good morrow, signor Philoplutos.  Philo: 
Thanks good Cosmosophos: whether away so early? I fear me you be sick of Chrysippus' counsel, thinking no time good that is not gainful.  Cosmo: 
Truly sir, to gain experience I am watchful, accounting the time very well spent, wherein a man any ways learneth to be expert: what we lose in sleep is but loss in life, neither can we purchase more in living, than not to be dead to live.  Philo: 
You say well Cosmosophos: but some study so much on time, that all their endeavours are out of time. I speak not this of you Sir, whose experience in worldly affairs, hath graced you among the better sort: but of those, who nodum in cirpo quaerunt, tempering their studies in such manner as Musicians do their strings, who wrist them to so high a reach, that they stretch them beyond time tune, or reason. But to let them pass, Cosmosophos, if your business be not of great consequence, shall I be bold to crave your company.  Cosmo: 
You may command me: but whether, may it please you?  Philo: 
To Diogenes' tub, who (as I understand) by his long plodding in reprehensions, is become passing skilful in experience: and seeing many faults, can more judicially speak of folly. Now, since I am called to high estate, and he is continually conversant in deep studies, I mean to question with him, following the quality of the be, who sucketh his honey from hemlock, and the preservatives of health from poisonable herbs.  Cosmo: 
You do very well: but might I whisper in your ear. I could advertise you of a matter of much consequence.  Philo: 
Say on (good Cosmosophos) me thinks these grey hairs should include much experience: thou canst not but deserve well of the Commenweale, when thou intendest my commodity, who dare boldly say with Tully (who ever saith otherwise) that I am Pater patriae.  Cosmo: 
Your rare virtues (worthy Philoplutos) are in effect like Archidas Dove, whom each Artist beheld flying, but could not make fly: you bear the feather of a Phoenix in your bosom against all wethers & thunders, laurel to escape lightning, and countenance to avoid contempt: which maketh your felicity more admirable, and your foes more mild. But to our purpose: since you are singled from your train, may it please you in this manner to be certified; There are many in our Commonweal of Athens, who have ripe wits & ready tongues, who if they catch an inch, will claim an ell; if they put in the finger, will thrust in the head. Of these you must take heed: for it is an old reason of Charondas, (and not so old as true) that young fruitful plants grafted on an old stock, will soon suck out the substance; and that Aesop's husbandman that warmed the subtle serpent in his bosom, was brought by him unto his burial: such young novices must be checked like wanton whelps, their tongues must be wormed lest they wound, and their feathers clipped lest they conspire. If they talk well, tell them they trip; it is better smother them in the egg, than smooth with them in the bird: for the meanest sparrow hath his neb, the lion's whelp his claw, the weak thorn his prickle, and the poorest man his policy; which you may drain from them, as the Vintners do the wine from the lees, if the wine be too rich, give it a dash with water, if the wit be too ripe, suppress it with severenes: who means to sit solely on Olympus, must suffer no climbers. By this (Sir, I doubt not) you conceit my intent.  Philo: 
I think thou art Oedipus (my Cosmosophos) thou art so privy to my conceits: But hark thee, I use our Athenian young men, as cursed mothers do their unhappy children, I call them to me with a fig, and whip them from me with a twig, with few crowns buy I their glean, and employ all this to mine own glory: I know the heavens admits but one Sun, & high places but one commander: which estate since my good fortune hath called me unto, I will have none see through my spectacles but myself, nor carry an oar in my boat, lest he turn me over board. But see where Diogenes sitteth gazing upon the morning Sun, who (desirous to see the Summer's beauty) hastily rouseth himself from the Ocean. God speed thee Diogenes.  Dio: 
Evil may they speed, if they speed not thee Philoplutos: what, art thou risen this morning as a Wolf to thy prey? or hath some fat fool fallen into thy laps? sure it is, thou weightest for some profit, thou hast so soon for saken thy pillow.  Philo: 
No Diogenes, I am risen thus early to entertain thy counsel, thou knowest I am called to high charge in this City.  Dio: 
I, and what of that?  Philo: 
My desire (for this cause) is, to be advised by thee (good Cynic) how to behave myself in this weighty estate, considering the indisposed minds of the common people, the dangers that weight on high degrees; the policies that are required to entertain all Estates, the disciplines that are to be used in reformation of abuses, and the rewards that are to be employed on such as deserve well.  Dio: 
Sirrah, who appointed thee to govern in this state?  Philo: 
My Prince.  Dio: 
How ignorant was he to admit thee to that place the which thou art not able to supply. Is not he an Ass that putteth his affairs in the hand of the ignorant? his ship to the conduct of a witless Pilot? his stock to the disposing of an ignorant banquer? or his citizens to his charge that hath not long conversed with counsel? Hear me Philoplutos, I fear me thou art quick of sent with Demades, thou wilt smell more than thine own, and thy high countenance in this city will be an occasion for thee to colour thy wickedness? Thou jovest wealth too much to entertain wisdom, and the desire of the one killeth the hope of the other: yet since thou art Cock on horseback, I'll fit thy stirrup, and tell thee what becometh thee, though I am assured thou wilt not entertain it. Plato, with all the lawmakers of antiquity, as Charondas, Solon, Sesistus, before them Boetis the Babylonian, Anacharsis the Scythian, with others, have first (in the institutions of their Commonweals) induced a fear of the Gods: which being naturally engrafted in the hearts of men, maketh them entertain the written laws with more reverence. Numa (to colour his policies) said, he had his instructions from Egeria, Romulus (before him) from jupiter: in brief, the whole aim of virtuous men in times past, hath been to derive their laws from the Gods, and to confirm their Citizens in sovereign awe of their heavenly Protector. First therefore, (Philoplutos, since thou art made a Magistrate) see thou diligently intent the service of the Gods, draw thy decrees from their divine motions: so shall thy people more voluntarily accept them, & thou with better conscience publish them. And (as a special rule) learn this second lesson, Medice, cura teipsum: pull the beam out of thine own eye, then help thy brother: reform thy faults, then punish others folly. For men in authority are eyes of estate, according to whose life, every private man apply his manner of life: so that the Poet said truly, 
Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis.  Such beef such broth, such lips such lettuce, such Lords such laymen. In Traian's time all men studied justice, in that he was just: in octavius days each one would be a Poet, because he delighted in Poesy. Order thou therefore thy life in such sort, as it may be said of Athens, as Plutarch speaketh of Sparta, The young men carry old men's mediocrity, the old men are youthful in magnanimity. In thy laws respect the nature of thy people: look into Athens, a proud assembly of fine tongued fellows, dainty in attire, studious of novelties, fond of fashion, too much addicted to covetousness, inclined to deceive their neighbours: now examine these by the strict laws of moral virtue, and since they degenerate, devise how to daunt them. What so is not of virtue, is against it: it is an ulcer & must be lanced, an ill humour, and should be purged. Let me have informers for sin, not for breach of custom: a Censor to correct sin, not an incenser to continue sin. Let us have more hospitals for the poor, and fewer palaces for the rich: let soldiers have more pay, and usurers less profit; let Catelines be cut short, and Cicero's called home: then shalt thou rule well in Athens, and the Citizens be better ruled.  Cosmo: 
O how well speaketh Diogenes?  Dio: 
Oh, how fond flattereth Cosmosophos? Sirrah, shall I counsel thee?  Cosmo: 
Do, good Diogenes.  Dio: 
These kind words require a courteous requital: hark thee Cosmosophos, thou knowest Timon's fig tree.  Cosmo: 
And what of that?  Dio: 
Why go hang thee thereon, the world hath too many love-worlds', but too few hate-worlds': shall I suit thee Cosmosophos?  Cosmo: 
How mean you that:  Dio: 
Why bestow a funeral bounty upon you in conceit, and tell you how in conscience it ought to be liked.  Cosmo: 
Say on.  Dio: 
O ripe word, a kin to every lack-penie, who have learned the say on their backs, but will never see the discharge of their bonds. Hark Cosmosophos, I will have thee appareled according to discipline and order: Thou shalt wear a bare hat, because thou art too great a niggard to buy a new; and carry wolves skins for thy facing, because thou art a wolf in thy fashions. With the finger and the thumb thou shalt point at sins so long, till thou catch them in thy bosom: and garter thyself upon a strait stock, till thou hast proved thyself to have a large conscience. I appoint thee no more continency, than to eat while thy belly is full, nor constancy, but to brawl rather than burn: a filbert is better than a faggot, except it be an Athenian she handful: you know that Cosmosophos, ever since your last marriage, how doth the father of your son in law?  Cosmo: 
Dost thou mock me?  Dio: 
No, I mean to move thee, and transform thy thoughts into actual servants to wait upon thee: Thy kind thoughts (which may be duly called actual Equivocations) shallbe translated into fleshly servitors, and they of this sort shallbe called by the name of flatterers: these shall carry Ostrich plumes in their party coloured hats to wave with every wind, & aspen leaves in their mouths in stead of roses, by reason of their incertainty in words: For their livery, if they borrow it of Iris, it is all one: party colours serve them best that are never one: For their other thoughts, they shall like the trim Ass in Aesop have trapping of gold, and a great choler of that whereof one link will buy them an hundredth halters. They shall be called Mercanti, Mercadanti, Impostini, Cacodemones, Daimones, Somnisophoi, Calopluti, Crusoponeroi, Nay if they were worthy of Christendom they should not want names: Being thus attended I know if Philoplutos be they friend, Diogenes with the Wolves may bark against thee as the Moon, but never bite thee whilst thou art a man.  Philo: 
Thou abusest my friend, Diogenes.  Dio: 
Nay dost not thou abuse him? Trust him not Cosmosophos: here in Athens the father hath suffered his son to be hanged for forty sickles, and he worth 400. talents: The brother hath beggared his brother in his overfaithfull credulity, believe not these sort of men, who so are married to their money are far from mercy: I have known ten men of his name and never a man honest. A man need not Aristotle's instance if he can but point at them, there is no word so common in Athens, as My friend: the usurer pretending Cozenage, will say, you are welcome My friend: My friend, (saith the retailer) by my soul it cost me thus much, yet sells this man his soul for two pence, and bobs thee out of thy Coin with My friend: Nay I will canvas a friend out of breath: Philoplutos, because you are so near me, It is an old proverb and not so old as true, Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur, A true friend is known in a doubtful matter: and what is more doubtful, than when in borrowing money a man finds no friends? So Moss his mare leaping over my Lord's ditch, said my Master feeds me in Lanes, and is this friendship? Yet a fling at friends, you are my Friend quoth the Cobbler, if I have but a penny for my clout: My Friend (saith the shoemaker) your shoe is good on the Last, but who so puts it on shall find small pennyworth in the lasting: All now a days use this word Friend most commonly, yet liveth there not any one who abuseth it not most contemptuously. Trust not this friendly flattering Philoplutos, Cosmosophos; for if thou try him, thou shalt find but a weak staff to stay upon: for among all the uncertainties of this world friendship is least certain, appareled (in these days) only in good words, and fawning only on prosperity: 
At simul intonuit, fugiunt, nec noscitur ulli  
Agminibus comitum qui modo cinctus erat.   Cosmo: 
Well Diogenes, these words were better kept in, you are too plain with Philoplutos, who is a man of worship and must be honoured.  Dio: 
A worshipful man, a good word, he must be honoured; what for a saint? Beshrew Diogenes if he deem so, and fond art thou if thou imagine so: Honour is due to our Gods, not to men rich in goods, I have seen Phillip's statue erected here in Athens for relieving Greece: yet never knew I ante merit honour for deceiving his Citizens.  Philo: 
Diogenes, you are too peremptory, we came not hither to hear reprehensions, but to entertain counsels: neither should Philosophers (as you are) be so forgetful of their duties; it is an old saying and a true, A controller is not without contempt: cease therefore (good Cynic) to complain of my faults, lest thou be convicted of thine own folly, and prosecute that which thou hast enterprised, and advise me in the administration of this our Commonweal of Athens. Thou hast in thy induction laid a good ground, inducing the service of the Gods, and continued thy policies with judgement, as touching the lose behaviour of the Athenians: since therefore thou art so good an Oedipus, I pray thee run through all estates in our City, that finding the imperfection of every member, we may the better establish and bring in frame the whole body.  Dio: 
Thou speakest well Philoplutos, I will play the worldling a little to please thee, and leave to rub thee on the gall, since thou art loath thy imperfections should be: discovered. What estate shall we deal with first?  Philo: 
That which I ought not to complain of.  Dio: 
Then use Noli altum sapere, and feed on my roots: who have long hands can catch a far, such as have clear eyes will quickly see, yet Argus non videt omnia. It was a custom among our Athenian Painters to decipher the back parts, not the fore parts of Venus, imagining least in painting the mole on her face, they should displease, or in drawing her pale colour to a right sanguine, she should condemn them of flattery: Quae supra nos, nihil ad nos, Gross Cinickes dare not talk of great Signiors: I had rather my Crow should say, ave Caesar, than he should answer me with Knave Diogenes. Tut, though I be singular, semper excipio Platonem.  Philo: 
What think you then of inferior Magistrates?  Dio: 
If they be good, it is the better for them, if they be not good, jupiter mend them. Thou knowest Philoplutos, that the proverb is old, every thing is worse for the wearing.  Philo: 
I, and what of that?  Dio: 
I wonder then, why some Athenians have been worn so long time, and have so much wool: I speak not of sheep, but of Wolves and Foxes.  Cosmo: 
Why, do Foxes & Wolves wear wool?  Dio: 
I, in winter Cosmosophos, it is a jolly medicine against a cold disease to be well lined.  Philo: 
Your comparisons may be excepted against.  Dio: 
Why, dare men be touched with the shadow of beasts? a wise man regards it not, for a fool it matters not. The sea (according to the Egyptian Philosophers) is the well of all showers, and the lodging place of all floods. All floods (saith one, I would either of us were so honest) enter the sea, and he yieldeth them out again, and the floods return to their place they came from, that they should flow again. I will for this neither allege lines nor leaves; but so the Scripture saith, by the head of Diogenes.  
This sea by reason of his great magnificence and power went to the bank thereof and said, I marvel greatly at thy hardness, and wonder at thy stout heart, thou art ever contrary unto me, and continually withstandest me, thou letcest me that I may not eat the earth and sufferest me not to confound that which I would consume: I desire thee therefore to be removed from thy place, that I may prevail against the earth, & put him under foot, else shall I not surcease to procure thy torment, and incense myself to thy trouble. The bank hearing this bold attempt, answered and said, Thou art deadly bewitched my good brother, for the maker of all things hath ordained me in this sort, and I suffer great travail in containing thee, in respect that I would please him. Thou comest upon me oftentimes, and puttest me to great grief, I bear and suffer for the love of God, in seeking to reprehend thee of thy gluttony, thou oughtest not then to multiply unkind words against me: for I may not change my place, nor be moved for thy peremptory threats. The sea hearing this, answered in great woodness; Since thou mayst suffer, suffer still, for never shalt thou have peace, but I will beat and punish thee with all my power. The Bank said nothing, and so I took a piece of bread and cheese, & went my way.  Cosmo: 
And what mean you by this, Diogenes?  Dio: 
That which I swear never to tell thee, unless thou wilt be unhonest.  Cosmo: 
How mean you that?  Dio: 
I mean thus, I swear never to tell it until thou hearest it, neither can I tell it so soon as thou wilt be dishonest: This caveat is for such as you Philoplutos, or (if you please) for all sorts. Such as are to govern in Cities, aught to admit Counsellors like the sea banks to contain them, and such as are Counsellors, are to behave themselves like the sea banks, to resist the sinful if they exceed, as the bank withstandeth the billows if they mount: yet is there an honest Church man satth, As the sea ever rebelleth, and repugneth against the banks, by which it is restrained and kept in: in like sort some persons repugn advice, which proveth they are worthy of punishment. Such as counsel, must have Clerks which like good shepherds need not dread the malicious threatning's of the bad: yet such as counsel the devil, cannot mend him of his evil. But to the purpose: The sea bank I told you of, should resemble you, if you dissemble not. Oh how I mistake? You should resemble the sea banks, which as they resist all storms whatsoever: so should you (in such manner as waking shepherds are wont to do) keep your sheep from cruel beasts, lest Leodore come in with this Item, Evil shepherds take no heed of their sheep, & hired men if they see the Wolf charging the flock, they suddenly fly. O you sea banks, let me speak unto you before one of your Masters, when fly you away? Certainly, when you are still and dare not speak before the mighty, and when you are timorous and fearful to withstand such as are tyrannous and froward. Shall I comfort you with an old father? I marry sir, and will I: Intend you to please the Gods, as for the threatening of man you need not care. Philip of Macedon (Philoplutos) was a wise fellow as thou art, lame on his legs as I wish thee not: This Philip besieging Athens, in steed of ransom of the Estate required ten Orators of his choice: but hark what Demosthenes said, I tell you, or your worship, or your manship (for that should be the best style) I marry will I, thus said he to the people, and thus say I to Philoplutos: Wolves on a time spoke to the shepherds, and said, Your Dogs are all the cause of the discord which is risen twixt you and us: if you will be at one with us, deliver us your Dogs, and we shall be friends for ever. When the shepherds had so done, the Wolves at their own pleasure devoured the sheep. Take therefore good handfast Philoplutos on such as are worthy to resist Wolves, and let not Athens be of them unfurnished: and as those be to be esteemed, so set not by thy quick-sented hounds, who if they fail thee (as they begin to fawn on others,) I believe in losing thy dogs thou wilt prove but a sheep, and they in scorn bark out; A murrain on those rotten Rams which will be so covetous.  Cosmo: 
Why, thou art altogether preposterous in this discourse Diogenes, using such equivocations, and quiddities, that I am beyond myself to think on them: now alludest thou the banks to great men, now the sea to no man; now the banks to their followers, now the strength of those banks to the seas misfortune: truly, truly, I know not where to find thee.  Dio: 
Then am I like Philoplutos flatterers, full of all religions, yet following none: whatsoever I say, I will not stand too, if any man say I speak ill, I will desire him to teach me better: if I hit by hap like a blind woodman in the dark, let men not blame my frowardness but their own fortune. Have we talked of Magistrates all this while?  Philo: 
Yes Diogenes, hitherto we have discoursed only of such as have the administration of justice in this Commonweal of Athens committed unto them from the higher powers.  Dio: 
Then mattereth it not how ambiguously I speak, for we ought not to be too plain with such as they: yet will I prosecute my purpose to please thee Philoplutos. Such men are like ouches in gold, they are eyes of a Commonweal, if not blinded with gold: they buy more fair words and caps in a year with favour, than they can well digest with wisdom: every one pretendeth them service in hope to end their suits, the flatterer studieth by night how to deceive them by day, there is no fashion lost that fitteth not their fancy, yet some have fallen in fancying fashions: they have many Physicians for the body, but few true Physicians for the soul: they often light on good servants, but seldom keep them: in brief, if they be not at enmity one with another, they are happy: for I have heard among beasts that corrupt intention to defraud, and ungodly purposes to devour, hath cost the deceiver his head, and swallowed him in his own snare.  Cosmo: 
How among beasts Diogenes?  Dio: 
Thus among beasts Cosmosophos: The Wolf on a time sawed with the Ass, but the Ass laboured truly above, the Wolf deceitfully beneath: the Wolf was malicious and drew the saw underneath, seeking an occasion to devour the Ass, and to induce his quarrel, he thus doggedly attempted him: Why dost thou throw the dust into mine eyen? The Ass being a beast of much patience, answered and said: I wrong thee not but govern the saw according to my science: if thou wilt saw above I am pleased, and I labour beneath painfully. To whom the Wolf said, I cannot, But if thou throw any dust in mine eyes, I will pull out thine. Notwithstanding these words, they continually sawed, and amidst their labour the Wolf blewe with all his power, being very willing to fill his fellows eyes with the dust, but the timber stopped it, and caused the dust to fall into the Wolves eyes, by reason whereof he was grievously pained, and swore, that he would overthrow the porters and bearers, which he practising to do, the timber fell suddenly in the midst of his sawing, and the Ass lightly leapt away, and was delivered: but the Wolf in his envious imaginations was suppressed.  Philo: 
And what of this?  Dio: 
Nothing by the faith of a Cynic as touching good men, but if there be an envious man in Athens that need rubbing, let him scratch: the more he strives, the more scald will it prove. I wish no one to seek the suppression of his equal, no not his neighbour, lest in drawing the sword, they die by the smiter. Who lay nets to betray fat fowls or fools, or what you list: may they not at last fall in the springe with the Woodcock? He that ordaineth a pit for his neighbour, shall fall into it himself. If you remember Aesop's Mouse Philoplutos, he teacheth a good lesson, but I am very weary.  Cosmo: 
Why Diogenes.  Dio: 
In that we talk of the stars which are fatal in their workings: and when they are disposed to be retrograde or opposite, they work wrack. Strive not with a mighty man (saith Seneca) nor contend not with thy better. I will not judge with Midas to get long ears with pulling, I had rather scape a pinch, than employ a reprehension, unless the world were in Athens as in old time it was wont to be, when men thought no words bitter that savoured any wit. To be brief: if in the common weal the fear of our Gods be well planted, the Prince well counseled, the Nobles better learned than bold of belief, the highway is already found out to good government, we shall not need any long disputation. But say there be a good Solon in a city, Alcibiades may riot, Timon may curse, Diogenes may bite, Aristippus may flatter: yet shall all these be but flea bitings, & may breed a spot in estates, but not the spoil of state.  Cosmo: 
What think you of Divines & Lawyers Diogenes?  Dio: 
As of Divines and Lawyers. If good, the city hath too few of them: If bad, the gallows is sick for them. I cannot admit in these sorts any mediocrity: for lukewarm professors in these things are lost professors: hear my tale Cosmosophos, The Hare went to Athens to school, and in process of time became a good Lawyer, furnished therefore with Arts, & fully stuffed with arguments, he repaired to the Lion the sovereign of beasts, and the sole pattern of bounty, and after a scholars courtesy, with his round cap in his right hand, his pen and iuke at his girdle, and his hood on his shoulders, he began thus: My good Lord, I have spent my goods in following goodness, and my livelihoods to attain literature: since therefore I have attained the fullness of the one through the default of the other, I beseech your Majesty that I may be maintained, that having deserved worthily, I may live worshipfully, under your Majestical protection, and the shadow of your bounty. The Lion seeing his grave looks, his unkembed locks (like Senecaes' Philosopher) replied thus: Friend, I will first make a proof of thy wisdom and cunning, and afterward purvey thee of wealth and content: go therefore with me to see divers things, that I may prove thy learning and relieve thy lack. And as they went both by a wood side, there passed by a hunter with his bow and arrows, who settled himself to shoot at a Bear and a Fox: but the Fox was wily, and when she espied the bow and arrow, she leapt aside, and escaped from the stroke: the Bear (contrariwise) was proud, and trusted to his own strength, and ran so hastily against the man who intended to wound him, that the Hunter loosed his arrow, and smote the Bear and killed him. The Lion beholding this, said unto the Hare, Make me a proverb of this, that I may know thy science, whereby I may with more will admit thee to thy salary. The Hare (after a draft of merry go down) wrote this, 
Against death it prevaileth much the life to prolong,  
To have ripe wit rather than ribs strong.  The Lion hearing this conceit, commended the Proverb, and led the Hare with him to a City, where they found a Lord rebuking his servants, of which the one patiently endured the severe reprehensions of his Master, the other was impatient, and full of froward answers: for which cause, the Lord in his ire all to beat him, and spoiled him, and expulsed him out of his service, and kept still the patiented servant, & promoted him to honour. Upon which occasion the Hare wrote this: 
far better it is many times to be still,  
Than to speak bitterly, and to have ill will.  The Lion was no less delighted with this second Proverb than he was with the first: for which cause he lead the Hare into another town, in which they found a Labourer yoking his Oxen, assigning them to their journey to ear twelve acres of land, delivering unto each of them for their feeding a bottle of hay. One of these beasts went forth, and bore his hay without grudging: but the other began to speak boldly and proudly, & said, What should it suffice us to bear hay with us, he shall not feed us so: and using these contumelious words, he would not carry hay to feed himself. But when they came to their labour, and had eared whilst the evening, he that had the bottle of hay refreshed himself: the other was weary, & having nothing whereby he might be comforted, he died for great hunger▪ Whereupon the Hare wrote to the Lion, saying in this wise: 
Better is it in need a small thing to have,  
Than utterly nothing the life for to save.  The Lion considering all this, said unto the Hare, Truly (my son) thou hast studied well, & canst decide wise questions. This said, the Lion promoted him, to what I know not, but somewhat he had, and well he deserved it.  Cosmo: 
And what of this?  Dio: 
Oh worldly wiseman, you are still entering into the marrow of matters: but I will fit you or I'll fail myself. All students of whatsoever profession in Common weals, seeking for honours from their Prince, must prevent their Country's prejudice: you must study if religious, to reprehend without flattery, if Lawyers, to judge without partiality: so shall their good proverbs get them pence, and they deserve it, for the Labourer is worthy of his hire. But, oh you Hares, take heed of the Fox in the long gown, that goes in sheeps clothing, but is inwardly a ravening Wolf, who is singular with Diogenes to single out his pray, and sets light by his superiors: follow not his counsel, take maintenance when you deserve it, least with the proud Ox you die for hunger. To be provident is your daily lessons, let not therefore curiousness lick the fat from your fingers, by jupiter I hope you will not, for there is no doubt but age will bring on discretion.  Cosmo: 
Which ways should the Lawyer apply himself best:  Dio: 
In silence, till his vainglory be overcome with judgement, in abstinence when he is tempted with bribes, in sufferance when he is baighted with injuries, in uprightness when he decideth controversies.  Philo: 
How should the Divine apply himself best?  Dio: 
In speaking the truth without hypocrisy, in reprehending all sins without flattery, in living himself uprightly, and discoursing on the Scriptures reverently, in affecting no partiality, but ordering all things in sincerity.  Cosmo: 
I, but Diogenes, the world is such now a days, as the purging of grown sicknesses procureth death, plain dealing commonly in this world weareth a bare coat. Such therefore as will thrive in the world, they must some times dissemble: for since of two evils the least is to be chosen, I think it better to forbear than to bear the faggot, & more meet to bear the faggot, than to burn by the faggot.  Diogenes: 
I know thou speakest according to thy conscience Cosmosophos, and I bear with thee. But hear you me, those men that are called to the service of the Gods, must have upright hearts, neither self will nor worldly promotion must withdraw them, What profiteth a man to win the whole world, and to lose his own soul? Such as are teachers of the simple sort must be as stars in dark nights, lamps in blind walks. What profiteth it the talon to be hidden, or what is gold unless it bide the trial? Those that have care of souls, must be careless of the world, careless of wealth: and if danger threaten their flock, they ought rather to suffer death, than to see them seduced, as I will teach you by a pretty tale if you will hear it?  Philo: 
Say on good Diogenes.  Dio: 
I will satisfy thee Philoplutos. A Hawk called Ormarillus being a stout bird of prey, & seeking out for a peer, met with a goshawk, who became his confederate: these two bold winged ravenors, seeking in the Summer evening for their ordinary Supper, made this covenant between themselves, that whatsoever they took should be equally divided between them: upon which conclusion, they both at once seized upon a Quail, and seeing her a little bird too abject a morsel for their hungry maws, they began colourably to undermine her, in hope to surprise both her and her young, and courted her in this manner: Choose thee whether (fair bird) thou hadst rather be devoured alone, or else conducting us to thy chickens and young ones, to suffer death with them, to satisfy our pleasures. The Quail being in a quandary said: Anguish and trouble is fallen upon me on every side, and what I should do I shun to do. Should I lose my young ones? whom I have carefully covered in the shell, and clocked under my wings? whom I have fed by my toil, and brought up with much care? no I will not. Less hurt is it for me to die, and to fall into their hands myself alone, than to suffer both myself and the silly ones both at once to perish, whereupon without reply she humbled her to their gripe; they greedily devoured her, and the devil send them surfeits that love such suppers.  Cosmo: 
How apply you this?  Dio: 
Why thus Sir: After the manner of this Quail ought our truly qualitied divines demean themselves, of two harms they must choose the less: better had they suffer with a good conscience, than their whole flock should be devoured in error, or miss through their envy, and made insolent with their singularity. They are bound to die rather for a Common profit, than to live for a singular avail. Among the Barbarous, many have been peremptory for their city's safety. Marcus Regulus being taken prisoner in a certain battle by the Carthaginians, was sent by them to Rome upon his faithful promise of return, to ransom other captives which were in the hands of the Romans: who entering the Senate house being an old man well stepped in years, in steed of persuading his associates for the safety of the enemy, voluntarily dissuaded them from exchange, alleging his old years, his broken memory, his unable body, whereby he was unfit to pleasure his country, nay rather he feared to be a burden: for which cause he humbly entreated them with tears in his eyes, to return him home to Carthage, and to detain the noble young enemies: in brief with much admiration he attained his suit, returned to Carthage, & died constantly and confidently for his country. Such should divines us, but I will leave to talk of them who are best able to teach us: they that wear the shoe can best tell where it wringeth, and no doubt they will against newfangledness at last speak: for the best sort of them are like those Orators, which in cases they spoke of seldom, are sure then to deal very sound.  Philo: 
Now as touching Solicitors in Law, unlettered Curates? What deem you of them?  Dio: 
The first are like Coloquintida in a common pot of pottage, they make all bitter, drawing their benefit from nothing but contention: they devise so many stresses that they break plain men's heartstrings. They buzz in rich men's ears till they be lords of poor men's erning. And then comes Sir john slitpen to a bailiffs office, or else to keep a Leece, where he will so hunt poor men's titles with the slender countenance of Littleton's Tenors, as they shall sooner catch a louse than keep their living. They writ so much ad opus & usum eiusdem johannis, that they invert all good uses: When as all controversies in Athens were wont to be decided among courteous neighbours, and the gang tooth was a seal of more truth, than the best bunch of seals in the subtilest Scriveners shop in this City. Oh what swarms of them see I in this Land, they jet up and down the streets grasping a paper in their hands for fear a man should spy a true finger in the fist, carrying a pen in their ears to note that which they deserve not, their gown is carried sidelong by the wind like a misne sail, showing they are fit to turn to all subtleties, their thumbs are goodly Alcumistes that with the very touch translate a fee of ten groats to a signet of three pounds. But Philoplutos and Cosmosophos, sharp though I be, and Cynical in reprehending, yet is Diogenes as far from envy as these petifogging prattlers he meaneth from honesty, and reverenceth the grave and upright Lawyer, as the instrument of the Gods, pointing by their wisdoms the wickeds punishment, and the innocents preservation, giving to every man his proper right, and ending justly long hidden controversies: these doth Diogenes reverence with the Suns arise, and bans the other at his going down, who cast oil into fire, and set a candle to kindled flax: who having by such glean gotten once into their guards, wax then so greedy, that no subornations are by them overslipped, till the good Lawyers finding their subtleties, send them where they cannot slip till their ears be slit. These are like hungry Dogs, who fight for a bone one with an other, and play the wantoness together when their Cliants so them not. They have learned the pulling of the Goose beyond our Athenian kitchen men's conceit. They are not content with the feathers, but they will have the fell: Shall I tell you a pretty tale of them which may be pithily alluded to them.  Philo: 
Ask us not whether thou shalt tell, but tell us, matters of worth among men of wit may never want attention.  Dio: 
Among men of wit: well applied Philoplutos to thine own flattery, Thou attributest a pound of that to thyself, which a good man can scarcely wring from thee by the pennyworth. But let that pass, and hear my pretence: There was a fair goodly Cock with partie-coulored plumes, and a crimson comb, the very Chauntecléere of all the dunghill. This proud bird was locked up in a fair yard with a fat Capon: the Cock like the bird of the Sun was the commander over the hens, the Capon enjoined to penance, in that he had lost his stones, was nothing so stout. So it was, that amid the jollity of the Cock, and humility of the Capon, it unfortunately happened, that the Fox finding a gap in the hedge, came and caught the Cock, and for all his courage devoured him, and finding his flesh tough and somewhat rammish, he cast in his mind by what means he might catch the Capon, whereupon reserving the comb of the Cock, like a grave fellow in a guarded gown, he came and spoke in this manner, Brother Capon, thy fellow Cock is departed, and in token of great love I have brought thee his goodly comb, which he bore continually on his head. The Capon sitting on the roost began to give great regard, and tickled like a Salmon trout in the gill was quickly beguiled, and now came it into his mind that if he could compass the Comb he might be Lord over the heus, and attain the pre-eminence of honour, for which cause he descended from the Roost, the Fox started and caught him, and having deceived him deucured him, etc.  Cosmo: 
And what of this?  Dio: 
Even like the Fox have our false hearted Attorneys dealt, First with fair words have they got a fleece from the rich, leaving them a small title for a great sum of money, yea some are sucked so near the bone as they have no marrow, a pitiful matter: Now these Foxes having furnished them with their coin, begin to gather countenance, and making poor men believe all by their big looks, they so rend them that they leave them no Rent, and trouble them with so many writs that some of them are beside their wits: Alas poor Capons, are you so greedy to buy a Coxcomb? Truly our husbandmen here about Athens, are like Aesop's Cock whom the Fox espied perched on a tree and bearing a piece of flesh in his crooked nebbe: For which cause the crafty beast incensed with hunger, bethought herself how to beguiled him, and therefore she spoke and said: Brother crow behold me and mark my sayings; thy beauty passeth the beauty of all birds, and thy strength exceedeth the strength of all other fowls, but I am only sorry that thou hast no voice, nor cunning in tunable and deliver notes to excel the music of the Nightingale, whom thou excéedest in colour although she be thought to be more cunning in cackling: The Crow tickled with vainglory suddenly began to sing, when as unawares the flesh fell out of his mouth, which the Fox caught and eat up, and smilingly went away. Such careless Crows are our Country men till they lose their crowns, for having money in their fist they employ it in recovery of things in discontinuance, and so at last lose both the estate and the stock. Oh sir (saith the Attorney) your father had it in possession thus long, and will you lose it? What though your Landlord be rich, there is law for him? Thus so long they law it with the poor man, that he proveth a daw in the end. And what says the Attorney then? In faith your Counsel told me the case was plain. But oh ye Athenians, hold your own, trust not, for trust is soon betrayed: it is better to have one bird in the fist, than two in the field. Mark Cato's words, Believe not thou another man, for belief is the step to deceit.  Philo: 
Now for ignorant and unlettered Curates?  Dio: 
In faith I leave to speak of them, till such as you bridle the impiety of Farmers, Graziers, & such greasy patrons, who neither are able to supply the place, nor will part with any indifferent maintenance for a sufficient man: so I pass them to their superintendents, whose wisdoms can see best into their unworthiness: I will only note a merry jest of Arlotto, which proveth their ignorance for the nonce. In the famous City of Milan there sometimes dwelled a Curate, a feat and delicious companion, cunning in merriment, but ignorant of his Mass-book: this Clergy man and ignorant Clerk, happening to read the story of jacob habens duodecim filios, fortuned in his Portasse to find ja on the one side, and cob on the other, and being very earnest to prove himself a tall a b c Clerk, he read on, & ja ja ja ja, and wetting his fingers so rubbed them with impatience, that at last with blushing envy turning over the leaf, and finding long concealed cob hidden on the other side, with an open mouth and a full throat he cried out, Cob sta vostre signory in questo luoco: was not this a pretty fellow at a Cob Philoplutos? Believe me one learned Milo would carry too many of these Calves, who by use if they prove not Oxen, are Asses in their age. But this common place is too plentiful, and my mind too peremptory, therefore I will leave it (as I said) to the good Pastors and patrons to see into these faults, and to salve them by their discretion.  Cosmo: 
So do Diogenes: and now to the Merchants, a greatlim of this City, men of mighty possessions and wonderfully moneyed.  Dio: 
Oh stay there Cosmosophos, they are thy kindred, praise them not too far, for thou art accessary to their faults: these men attributing all to fortune, are all of them most drowned in folly: Insatiable are their desires, & subtle their imaginations, they thirst after promotions vehemently without moderation, wherein they seem to imitate the bird Laurus, of whom Solinus useth this pretty discourse. Laurus (saith he) liveth on the water as well as on the land, a bird of black colour and exceeding fat. This Laurus was a shipman the greatest that could be, yet in all his travels he ever overcharged his ship, trusting to his own cunning. For which cause his friends many a time and oft rebuked him of his folly: yet nevertheless he amended not, but intended his covetous course, in hope of sudden profit and lucre. It fortuned therefore upon a time, that he fraught his ship excessively with divers merchandise, insomuch as he could not guide it by reason of the great burden and troublous waves which enforced it, and for this cause the ship sunk into the bottom of the sea and was drowned: and so this Laurus was utterly undone and proved bankrupt: In conscience Cosmosophos, was not this a very fool?  Cosmo: 
So I heard that Cato was wont to allude, who never condemned himself more than for trusting the sea: but let us hear this parable applied, good Diogenes.  Dio: 
I will, because it is weighty: Merchants should take heed hereto, and not covet hasty win in hope to be suddenly rich by great peril, but surely to increase in wealth with moderation: for Barnard saith (yet Barnardus non videt omnia) I will not suddenly be made greatest, but I will profit and increase moderately from more to more. Hear an other pretty fable: There was a fat Churl that had a fruitful hen which laid every day an egg, whereupon he gathered many and sold them, and increased to his own advantage. At last he thought (as covetousness still hatcheth new mischief) that if this hen were killed and opened, he should have many eggs in her, for which cause he commanded the hen to be slain: which done he found her void of eggs, and to his utter loss failed both of the fowl and the fruit, according to the common proverb, He that coveteth all, oftentimes looseth much. Merchants and Chapmen ought therefore to beware lest they get any thing wrongfully, for unjust men's goods shall be soon destroyed, according to the opinion of the Philosopher: who saith, that riches lightly gotten may not last long. Another also giveth them this lesson, Heritage that is hastily purchased in the beginning, shall lack blessing in the end. Hark thee Cosmosophos a true tale, a fit note for all Merchants, When a certain Merchant on the sea upon a time had sold his wines which were mixed half with water, for as much money as if it had been pure wine, he fortuned to open his bag to cast in the money, when as an Ape at that time playing above the batches, espied the place where he buried it, and in secret wise coming and catching the bag with the whole money, he fled to the Anchor & began to verify the old proverb, ill gotten goods never prosper: for sitting thereupon, and beholding the playing of the billows against the bark side, he played the upright dealer, for he opened the bag and threw one piece into the sea, the other into the ship, and thus delighting himself in his Apish uprightness, (being ordained to punish the Merchants dissembling) ceased not but cast out every penny, insomuch as the Merchant had no avail by his fraud: so just are the heavens against all covetous dissemblers, who using such tricks prove themselves but shifting Merchants.  Cosmo: 
I, but Diogenes, I have read that Usury is allowable, our Princes have winked at it, in that it hath enriched the State.  Dio: 
Thou wouldst say; in that it hath rob the State. I will tell thee, this practice of corrupt heart, is the rotting sore of Athens. The Hebrues well looking into the lamentable effects thereof, called it Neschech, that is to say, a biting: a diction which is drawn from the theme Naschech, a word attributed to Serpents: for as the Serpent stingeth and biteth, so Usury (according to the opinion of Rabbi Solomon) is the henemoust poison among men. For as he that is stung by a Serpent in the foot, with small pain falleth a sleep, and in his slumbers (the poison being dispersed) suffereth death: so the biting of Usury makes but a little wound at the first, until such time as it hath grown to fullness, it consumeth a poor man's whole estate, and substance. The Chaldees in their Theology, call it Habuliah, that is to say, perdition and corruption: for it destroyeth and overthroweth men according to the saying of S. Chrisostome, who following the Etymology of the Hebrew, compareth Usury with the venom proceeding from the biting of a certain Serpent, whose wound and sting is so sweet at the beginning, that it engendereth a desire of sleep, and then in the end the sleep killeth him which is wounded, at such time as the venom spreadeth itself through all the members of the body: so he which is enchained in Usurer's debts, thinketh in the beginning to receive some profit, but he doth but cast himself a sleep, and not acquitting himself at any time of the principal, in the end he consumeth himself altogether. There are Lawyers and Legists, who (according to the opinion of Saint Hierome) compare usury unto a certain worm, who naturally is so malignant, that after he hath so long gnawn the wood that he may turn him in the hole which he hath made, he engendereth another worm of the same malice: so the Usury with the debtor that maketh satisfaction upon the days of payment, hatcheth up another usury: & poor borrowers hatch worms ad infinitum to their utter wrack. And in that the usurer is compared to a worm, he shall have in recompense of his villainy, a worm which shall incessantly feed upon him, and tire upon his conscience, as the Uultures that gnaw the poor liver of Titius, according to Homer's opinion: & this is my opinion. This is the worm that shall not die as a Prophet spoke, more famous than Plato for a Philosopher. The Usurer likewise is compared unto fire, an actual and insatiable element: for as it burneth and consumeth all such wood as is cast upon it, so the usurer the more he hath in his purse, the more he gnaweth and devoureth, resembling in this point hell mouth. But I I may say to thee Cosmosophos, I must now laugh heartily.  Cosmo: 
And why?  Dio: 
Because this their fire of Covetousness shall burn the Author, not only in this world where the wicked begin their hell: but in the other world, where the fire of hell is unquenchable. In brief, these usurers (as Barnard saith) are Master burgess thieves, who as the Pike in the pond devoureth all other fish, so doth the Usurer the poor people in Cities, Towns and villages, till some wild fire cut them short. Cicero and Cato accounteth them for homicides, & Ausonius the Poet saith Usury killeth suddenly. We Greeks call Usury Tocos, which is a name derived from Ticto, which signifieth as much as to bring forth, in such manner as infants are begotten: for with loss of time it bringeth forth and begetteth much money: a plague on the fathers of such monsters. Aristotle calleth this cursed lucre, an infant begotten against Nature. To speak in a word, this Usury is against the laws both natural, divine, & human. That it is against the laws natural, the Philosophers have sufficiently testified, who have detested the gain of Usury: Plato in his laws hath forbidden the usage of Usury, and hath commanded to punish the Usurer with the loss of his principal, and the forfeiture of the arrearage. Plutarch hath also made an express Treatise upon the same, where he proveth that by Nature we ought not to use feneration and usury: and for this cause all Nations have it in horror, as the Turks, Moors, Saracens, Tartars and other Infidels. The first proof is taken from Aristotle, who saith, that money cannot engender money, for it is against Nature, that a thing being of itself barren, should be are fruit. He then that seeketh fruit from his money, which is not admitted in the number of natural genetrices, how sinneth he against the right natural? The second reason, It is injustice to seek to draw profit from that which is not his own: but it is certain, that silver lent, is not his own that hath lent it, but both in the property and usage is his for the time to whom it is lent, and therefore such a loan in Latin is called Mutuum, of mine it is made thine, and if it be mine, it cannot at that instant be thine. The third reason, To take any thing twice, is Larceny▪ the Usurer doth the same. And how? First he receiveth and taketh the principal sum, and secondly the intexest of the same, which is most great injustice. The fourth, He that selleth one thing twice, committeth Larcenie & injustice: but the Usurer doth so. For in receiving his money, he receiveth silver for silver in the same equality, and then in exacting the overplus he selleth the use, and that is (in effect) to sell twice, considering that the usage cannot be separated from the thing. I could yield examples of all these, but it were vain, since the examples be continually laid before the eyes of Philoplutos.  Philo: 
But how is Usury against the law of God, where it is written, that each man may make profit of his own?  Dio: 
O Sir, that is to take toward a decent maintenance of your living, not to the hurt of your neighbour. But that Usury is against the Laws divine, it appeareth both in the old and new Testament, which though I have never read, yet as inspired I will preach them forth: for I am assured of the truth thereof. First, God who commandeth in Athens and in all places, showeth in these especial words, that he is displeased with Usury: Si pecuniam tuam dederis (saith he) populo meo pauperi, qui habitat tecum: non urgebis eum quasi exactor, nec usura opprimes. And in another place, Si attenuatus frater tuus fuerit, ne usuras accipias ab eo. Mark what the Psalmist saith, Lord, who shall dwell in thy Tabernacle? who shall rest upon thy holy hill? He that hath not given his money to usury. Ezechiel writeth (as having the revelation from God, that That man is just, and shall live eternally, which hath not lent unto Usury, and hath taken no overplus: and he who shall do the contrary, shall die, and his blood shall be upon him. Hark what Ecclesiastes saith in the xxix. chapter, and jesus Christ in the Gospel likewise saith openly, Date mutuum, nihil inde sperantes, lend willingly, looking for nothing again. As touching human Laws, are not all Usuries straightly forbidden? These are divided into Ecclesiastical laws and Politic: the Ecclesiastical Laws abhor and detest it, as you may read in the sacred Chronicles and reverend councils, as well general as particular, in the volumes of the Cannon Law, in the decretals, in the worthy and memorable writings of the ancient Fathers and Doctors, as well Grecians as Latins, whose large Treatises against this unmerciful sin, if Diogenes should recite, it would cost him a whole volume, for which cause I wonder at Bodinus an old friend of all these usuring factions which holds some usuries lawful with Christians. But if his mastership, or doctorship shall please to examine the laws politic in general, he shall find that in all ages in all times and seasons, they have forbidden them, principally the excessive usuries themselves. The Laws of the most greatest Politicians, as of Solon, of Lycurgus, of Plato, of Aristotle, and likewise of the ten Commissaries deputed to correct the customs of Rome, and to make choice of the most profitable laws: These men and Magistrates would not admit that usury should exceed the compass of one penny for an hundred by the year, which they call unciare, for that the usury of every month, amounted not but to an Ounce, which was the twelfth part of the hundred Crown or Denier which a man had lent: in such sort as the usurer who sought more great profit, was punished severely. The same law was afterwards published upon the request of the Tribune Duilius the year after the foundation of Rome 396, and ten years after, under the Consulate of Torquatus and Plantius, it was reduced unto half an ounce by the month, and half a Denier in the hundred for a year, in such sort as the surplusage should not equal the principal, but in the space of two hundred years. The year after, usury was forbidden by the law Gemetia, afterwards by the law Gabinia which chastised the usurer which had employed his money beyond the permission of the law, with the loss of his principal. Likewise the laws of Dioclesian commanded to punish the usurer which practised grievous and manifest usuries. And Plato saith that the ancients were accustomed to punish the usurer with the fourth part, and to draw the thief to the payment of the double: and not without cause, for the Usurer (saith the said Plato) is compared to the Homicide. And saint Ambrose compareth them to the thief and the Robber: as much saith saint Chrisostome and saint Barnard. Valentinian, afterward Theodorus and Arcadius, commanded that all they should be punished with a quadruple pain, which exceeded the usury of a hundredth. The prolixity would surpass if I would seek further into the Civil law.  Philo: 
I but Diogenes, it is most certain that some Christian Emperors have approved Usury, as justinian: therefore every way ought you not to condemn it.  Dio: 
Approved it? I deny your assertion, but it may be they have permitted it, should I say they have permitted it? I must then say they have permitted it as a necessary evil, so as Cato was wont to say of women: you will tell me that the Civil law withstandeth not the contracts of usury with a certain moderation, neither punisheth them; & approveth them then; I deny the consequence. For he which approveth giveth favour and licence to execute that which he approveth: but so it is that there is not any imperial Law whatsoever which hath favoured Usurers, for if so it were, they should both invert the divine Law, and intort the laws of Nature, and therefore the Emperor commanded an inviolable observation of the Counsel of Nice, by which all usuries have been prohibited. But enough of Emperors, let us contain ourselves in the walls of this City, which I wonder it sinketh not for sin, there is so much extortion, craft, and usury exercised in it. The Romans exceeded but in ounces, but we in pounds: their laws admitted them some sufferance in the compass of a hundredth, but we exceed in thousands, we lack but some wise wag like Alcibiades to burn the Usurer's bonds, bills and contracts in the market place, which if they were set on fire, the bonfire would be so big, as I fear me would consume the whole City: poor men cry out daily, widows wail, all exclaim, there is none to comfort them, and how may it be possible whereas all men study their own gain? Oh Philoplutos thou hast many Officers under thee, let one just man have a fee, who honouring equity from his heart may relieve the fatherless, and comfort the desolate, for surely such as forsake the poor in need, will at last be themselves forsaken: such as leave their neighbours and deny them help when dangers shall oppress them, shall themselves be denied, for no one man by worldly policy can warrant a peace without change, neither is there any place so fortified that may not endure a change or name of estate: As I will teach thee Philoplutos, with this thy friend Cosmosophos, in a pretty tale if you will hear me. Isodore in his twenty two of Etymologies describeth the Griphon after this manner: The Griphon (saith he) is a feathered bird and fewer footed, and these kind of birds be engendered among the Hiperbore mounts, that is, in Scythia, Asiatica: This bird is like unto an Eagle both in head and wings, and in all other parts of his body he is like unto a Lion, and he destroyeth both men and horses, and putteth a Smaragdine stone in his nest, against venomous beasts of the mountains, he slayeth and destroyeth all men that dwell near about him, neither is his insatiable covetousness ever satisfied: This Griphon took a great province to rule, and the more to show his tyranny & covetousness he commanded three things: First, that no stranger should be entertained in his country either to buy or to sell: Secondly, that no manner of creature should come thither from other countries: Thirdly, that none of all his people should be so hardy to travel into other countries. All which three commandments were observed by his subjects, and he lived in deliciousness and pleasures, and gathered goods and no wonder: For whatsoever came into his possession he parted with no man, but kept it straightly to his own proper use: But so it fortuned upon a time by the rightful judgement of God: that thunder, tempest and lightnings destroyed all the country: For which cause the Comprovincials and inhabiters thereof ran altogether to the Griphon crying and saying: Let us hence oh king lest we die for hunger. And he sent forth Legates to other Nations that were next adjoining unto him, that they should send of their goods and grain unto him, and sell them at their own price. To whom they answered and said: Thou wouldst never sell us any of thy goods, neither now in thy need will we sell thee any. Grieved with this answer he sent again other messengers desiring them to come with merchandise and to have free passage at their pleasure but they answered, thou wouldst never receive us before this time, neither shalt thou now receive us: The third time he sent unto them, and prayed them to receive him and his people. But they said, Thou never camest unto us till now at this time necessity enforceth thee, and for that cause we will not receive thee, but rather drive thee from us if thou come unto us: and so forsaken of all in great wretchedness both he & his people were famished.  Philo: 
And what gather you by this.  Dio: 
A lesson for thee Cosmosophos and rich usurers▪ of the City, intend more pity, stretch your purse strings, help the needy, favour the good deserving, surcease your usuries and oppressions, for storms will follow calms. It is therefore good to be curious and to receive forraines and strangers, and to use merchandise with other Nations, and to departed our worldly goods with other, and employ them for common profit: For our Saviour saith, Mat. 7. All things that you will other men do unto you, do you the same unto them, so biddeth the Law and the Prophets in general. It is read that when Alexander marched by the way with his Host, and both he and all his train were well nigh lost with thirst, one came and presented unto him a cup of fair water for a precious gift, and he with great speed commanded it to be powered out, neither would he once drink himself in that he could not give part to his Knights. Such a mind should Philoplutos carry in respect of well deserving students, poor fatherless children, widows, and the aged, such mind should the Usurer carry in respect of those whom he hath suppressed, such should Cosmosophos be, in regard of those whom he hath seduced: but the covetous man saith contrary. Eccle. 10. I have found rest unto me, and I will eat of mine own goods alone. Such covetous men as these should be detested: wherefore in old time such as loved Avarice should not be preferred in the common weal, as Valerius in his sixth book telleth us, that when two Consuls of Rome should have been sent into Spain, and the Romans took counsel and deliberation thereupon; one among the rest (the famous Scipio) said thus: Neither of them liketh me, for the one of them hath nothing, and the other will be satisfied with nothing, judging equally poverty and avarice in malicious people. Also Valerius telleth that Tiberius the Emperor changed his Officers very seldom, because they which were new ordained, were very prompt and ready to receive. An example hereof is showed by a man who was wounded, whose deep stripes a swarm of flies covered, at which time it fortuned that one came by and saw them and drove them away to whom the other said: Thou hast done me wrong, for these were full and replete, now shall other come that be more hungry, and do me more grief. In like sort judges when they be needy or covetous, they be greedy to catch, and desirous to have. It is read in one fable of Poetry, that Midas desired of Apollo that whatsoever he touched might be turned into gold and it was granted him, so when he should touch meat or drink with his hands or his lips it was turned into gold, and he was often hungry and perished for sustenance, so abundance of riches maketh a covetous man hungry & destroyeth him. It is read in the Chronicles of Persia, how Tomyris the Queen of Scythia (after she had taken Cyrus' King of Persia) caused his head to be smitten off, and put into a bowl full of blood, saying after this manner, Thou hast ever thirsted after blood, now drink blood thy fill: so shall it fall out in after-days with covetous men and cursed tyrants, who desire the blood of the poor people, and the spoils of the fatherless, that is to say, their goods and sore labours. Covetous men in hell shall drink molten gold, as a Philosopher telleth, that Nero the Emperor was seen in hell bathing himself in seething gold: and when he saw a great number of comers by, he said unto them, Come hither you wretches that be sellers of your neighbours, and bathe you here with me, for I have reserved the better part for you.  Cosmo: 
Enough of this matter good Diogenes, there is a matter of more weight to be decided, wherein your judgement is most ripe. Thou hast lately (as it is reported) visited Lais, to whose house our greatest Gentlemen resort: there thou receivedst an injury. It shall therefore stand with thy judgement, to set down prescriptions to Philoplutos, what luxury and licentiousness is, that knowing the detestable fruits thereof, he may prescribe laws to cool Lais, and prefer lessons to young Gentlemen, who now a days are too much by wantoness withdrawn.  Dio: 
Well Cosmosophos, I see you would drive the rain from your boor, this last storm I perceive hath wet you: but that matters not so thou mend, for I bitten thee to that end. Now as touching luxury, I need not much define upon it in general, since in particular signification, it is a voluntary effusion of human seed, and a disordinate carnal copulation without marriage: and this is one of the seven mortal and deadly sins, called a capital vice, for that there are eight infernal daughters sprung from it, and all these (Philoplutos) richly bestowed on thy sons. The first Cecitie or blindness of spirit. The second precipitatim. The third, inconsideration. The fourth, inconstancy. The fifth, self-love. The sixth, the love of the world. The seventh, the hate of God. The eighth, the horror of that other world. The sins of lechery might make Diogenes ashamed to show them, and you to hear them. I will therefore only discourse upon her infernal daughters, who have cursed qualities even in them, to discover their mother's imperfections, and first as touching her daughter Cecitie or blindness of spirit, she will prove a pretty blindfold mischievous child I warrant you.  

Cecitas.  
This cursed daughter of a lecherous mother extinguisheth the natural light of his understanding that tireth himself in the sports of Venus: so that forgetting the duty whereunto he is called. He pretermitteth the service of God: the hearing of his word: the exercise of prayer, wherein every good Athenian ought to be exercised: In which he committeth two sins, the one of lechery: the other of careless idleness. He likewise sinneth herein, who casteth aside the spiritual gifts, to have a taste of the carnal. Here we see, that lechery blindeth the inward humane eyes, as it is read of the Sodomites, which were blinded interiorly & exteriorly: and the two old falsewitnesses of Susanna to one of which Daniel said: Beauty hath bewitched thee, and concupiscence hath subverted thy heart: that is to say, hath blinded thy spirit. Also, before it is said: That they had turned their eyes aside, lest they should see heaven, & remember the just judgement of God. For which cause Antiquity depainting the god of love Cupid, have given him no eyes, for because love is blind, and maketh them blind that follow it. And it seemeth, that the wiseman speaketh of them when he sayeth: Their malice hath blinded them. And before him the Psalmist speaking of the wicked: He would not understand to go well. This vice is contrary to one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, and likewise it blindeth the eye of the soul, which we ought to keep more charily than ten thousand corporal eyes, as Plato sayeth: The reason is, for because that by the same we behold and contemplate the essence of God, according to the doctrine which jesus Christ our master hath taught us, who saith, that they are happy who are clean in heart, for they shall see the face of God. The ancients likewise do very well manifest that luxury blinded the clearness of the spirit. But the poor slaves of Venus prefer the bodily sight before that of the spirit, and being in that sort blinded they know not what to do, neither wots they how to savour the celestial delights, which without comparison are far more great & more sweet than those delights of the world. These are they that have drunk of the cup of whoredom which Saint john saw in the apocalypse, that is to say, of lechery: which maketh those drunk with the wine of her wickedness, which inhabit the earth, & causeth them to forget the beginning of their birth & their celestial country. This in my opinion was Homors animi, who writ that that the companions of Ulysses after they had eaten of certain sweet & wondrous pleasant fruits in Aphrica called Lopothages forgot their natural country & would have continued always there where those fruits were: so that the valiant Captain Ulysses, who representeth unto us reason having brought them back again by force was constrained to tie them to the mast of the ship for fear they should return to their voluptuousness. From hence the Greeks' derive a proverb which saith: That he which hath tasted of any dishonest pleasure, hath eaten Leates. And whence (I pray you) is sprung this dissoluteness among all sorts in Athens, and the withdrawing from virtue of so many wand'ring wits, but from the taste of this voluptuousness? And for that they have drunken of the cup of this devilish singularity in thought, blinding their understanding. It is carnal liberty that hath opened their studies, and hoisted the big voiced exclaimers to high places: but it is behoveful for those that are consecrated to God, and the other which would attain to his strict service, to take heed lest we taste thereof, and so fall into this blindness of spirit, which maketh us forget our celestial Country, whereunto we tend: neither need we but one taste thereof to make us forget all. It is for that they err (saith a good Doctor) in that they deliberate to enter the lists of Venus for one time only, to the end they might be wholly satisfied, and afterwards they deem that they may the better observe abstinence: for one act engendereth the desire of two, and two the desire of four, and ten the desire of twenty, in such sort, as the more thou shalt commit this vice, by so much the more thy desire shall increase: for so far is such a fire from being extinguished by this means, that more and more it inflameth. And for that cause, Plato in his Dialogues compareth Concupiscence unto a sieve, whereinto the more we power of water, the more it runneth out, being unable at any time to be filled: so a man that thinketh to content himself with this security, he fareth like him that thinketh to fill a sieve with water. And the Doctor Gershon speaking on this matter, bringeth in the example of him who is seized with some hot fever, (and not without cause may lechery be called a hot burning fever) who if he drink one glass of fresh water, he deemeth that he is well satisfied, but a quarter of an hour afterward he is more altered than ever. This is the craft of the devil, which tickleth him in the head to perpetrate this sin under colour of mitigating his affections, and hope to avoid his temptations: but in sooth it is to no other purpose, but to deliver him over afterwards to a more furious assault. And the same doctor averreth, that it fareth with him that would approve this pleasure, as with him who is full of itch, who the more he scratcheth, the more mangy he becometh: Where if he had but a little patience, he should be presently recovered. It is not therefore without cause, that the Apostle saith unto us: fly fornication: whence our fathers draw a maxim to this purpose, which sayeth: that the sin of lechery surmounteth itself rather in flight than in resistance. A man may likewise draw another maxim and say: that it is far more easy for a Maid to be continent, than for a Widow: more easy for a Widow, than she that is married and hath her husband absent: more easy for him which hath never experienced the pleasure, than for those that are exercised in it: and why? Because the experience of such an act, augmenteth both the desire and the temptation. This being well considered, it ought to yield good men more consolation to augment their courage in abstinence, which is to live with clean bodies and clean hearts: as I will prove you by a pretty tale.  Philo: 
May good Diogenes continue this course, me think thou art now in a right bias, which will effect and bite more than all thy railing: I pray thee prosecute this matter, and discourse on Precipitation.  Dio: 
Thou hast won me. Sat down Philoplutos, I will fit you by and by: now to Precipitation.   

Precipitatio.  
Next to this blindness, followeth the second sister called Precipitation, which hindereth the providence and the Counsels we ought to have in our actions, so that a man being transported by this Venerean passion, regardeth not what he doth. For as Plato sayeth, Uoluptuousnes is most insolent of all, which perturbeth our spirits, and taketh away the empire of liberty. Ah 'las, how many are they who are slain and massacred in the act of Palliardise, who die both body and soul. This being well considered upon by an Italian Poet, he detested the vice of lechery by reason of the dangers that followed it, saying: 
Lacci ha amor mill est nessun tend in vano.   
See then how he who pursueth his pleasures, exposeth himself to a thousand dangers, according to the manner of him who imprudently casteth himself down headlong from an high place. Precipitation also perverteth the order which a man ought keep in his actions, & the degrees whereby we ought to proceed. The first is the memory of things past. The second: the consideration of things present. The third: the providence of things to come. The fourth: the docility by which a man acquireth the opinion of the most learned and virtuous. He than that is driven forward by the impetuosity of his passions, pursueth his enterprise in forsaking the degrees of this order. This is it that Cicero speaketh: that voluptuousness, closeth up the eyes of the soul, and impeacheth judgement. This vice also dependeth on another sin called Impudency, and is mortal, according to the quality of the matter. Would to God, that gentlemen, Captains, and soldiers, and they who have charge of arms, would learn here their lesson, and propose Hannibal for an example, who after he had attained so many triumphs, was finally overcome, and overthrew both himself and his great army, laying both object to a certain danger, through this only cause, for that he was addicted to this vice, according as the Historiographers aver: for there is nothing that more weakeneth an Army, and obscureth the Art Military, than luxuritie and palliardize.  Cosmo: 
Now to Inconsideration Diogenes, what think you of that?   

Inconsideratio.  Dio: 
Inconsideration is a sin which hindereth reason and judgement through carnal voluptuousness, as we have alleged by the two old judges of Susanna, who turned away their spirits lest they should behold heaven, and remember the just judgements: so Lechery withdraweth the understanding of a man, and hindereth him from the consideration of that which he ought to do, and the searching out of the means to attain the sovereign goodness. Trouble me not, now come I to Inconstancy.   

Inconstantia.  
Who so is transported with voluptuousness, desisting from doing of that which is necessary for his salvation, committeth the sin of Inconstancy. Likewise, he that is overcome with that passion, pretermitteth to perform that which he had deliberated to do, as to intend the service of God, the use of prayer, or the deeds of charity, & other good works, as it is said in the chapter of blindness. From these four branches of Lechery, Kings, Princes, judges, Prelates, and all sorts that have government of Estates or souls and bodies, aught to guard themselves to the end that being beautified with prudence, sapience, counsel, and constancy, they may well know how to discharge their duties & govern those under their estate & charge. And from whence cometh ignorance, inconstancy, inconsideration, and precipitation: whence cometh the want of understanding, judgement & counsel in great men & superiors, but for that they are swallowed up in the sink of this stinking lust which makes them walk like blind men as the Prophet speaketh? O God, how is it possible they might give any good sentence, execute any justice, decree any good ordinance for the policy of a Common weal, since Venus hath ravished their understanding? The Philosopher saith: that it robbeth man of his spirit.  
Itobeus accordeth hereunto, taking his precedent from Archilocus, who said: that the force of love stealeth away the tender spirits of men. And the moral Poet sayeth: that lust forceth the most fair and divine part of the soul on the earth: for it maketh it terrestrial, carnal, and dull: which is a dreadful thing for them to behold, who penetrate and contemplate the very beauty of souls. This vice (that more is) ravisheth a man into rage and fury, as Plato proveth in his Timaeo, where he sayeth: that voluptuousness is the bait of all evils, by which a man becometh (as it were) frenetical, the which Cicero teacheth in divers places of his writings, where he saith: that the soul hath no greater enemy than carnal voluptuousness. And Philon nameth it a dangerous Palliard which deceiveth and deludeth the spirit: This is (saith he) the Serpent, upon which Satan is borne. Socrates proveth well, that they which follow the same are nothing different from brute beasts, which also is confirmed by many other Philosophers, according to the recital of the said Stobeus alleged before time: who replieth and proveth, that it is no other thing than a fury which seizeth on poor mankind and other mortal creatures. He taketh it from Euripides, who said: that Venus is all that which is foolish in this world, and for that cause the name of folly best fitteth her. Will you find her more bravely set forth than by the Poet Virgil, speaking of the love of Dido, if he speak according to his conscience?  

Uritur infoelix Dido totaque vagatur  
Vrbe furens: qualis coniecta cerua sagitta  
Quam proculincautam nemora inter Cressia fixit  
Pastor agens totis, liquitque volatile ferrum  
Nescius: illa fuga siluas saltusque peragrat  
Dictoes'; haeret lateri loethalis arundo  
Saevit inops animi totámque incensa per urbem  
Bacchatur:-   
But why allege I profane men? have we not Solomon for an example, the learnedst king that ever was borne of a woman? It is written of him, that his spirit became altogether alienated, by reason of the pestilent Lechery which he used with his Concubines, yea even unto the leaving of the true religion, and embracing the false, as divers have done in Athens, the more is the pity. This was it that destroyed the bright beam of sapience, which God had endued him with to rule and govern his people: a rare and great example for all Kings and Princes which have subjects to govern over the face of the earth.  Cosmo: 
Now as touching self-love.  Dio: 
Thus of self-love.   

Philautia.  
He that loveth himself more than God, committeth the sin of Philautia, that is to say self-love, which is the root of many evils: he that breaketh the commandments of God to follow whoredom, loveth his body more than God, since it better liketh him to obey it than God: such a one (if it were lawful to forge new words as Apuleius was wont to do) might be called Somalatros, that is to say Idolater of his body, for in sooth it is a kind of Idolaty to be more subject unto the flesh than to God: Saint Augustine saith, that two loves have builded two Cities: self-love hath builded the City of the Devil, and the love of God edested the City of God. This sin is so horrible, that it hath converted the Angels into Devils, who made themselves Reprobates by overmuch self-love. Now for the love of the world.   

Amor Mundi.  
Those that love this world so well, that they would never departed out of the same, but are willing to constitute their Paradise therein, offend both God and human nature, which hath been created unto this end to issue forth of this vale of misery, and to possess the heavenly Palaces, and what is this except it be to sin against the law of Nature. It is also an other kind of Idolatry to be too much besotted with the love of this world and a sign of eternal reprobation, and therefore saint john saith to the Christians of Boerea, My children love you not the world neither the things that are in the same, for he that loveth the world the grace of God is not in him: For whatsoever is in the world, is either concupiscence of the flesh, or concupiscence of the eyes, or pride of life. And he saith also, The world is given over to all malignity. And saint james saith, That he who is a friend to this world is at enmity with God. Now touching the hate of God.   

Dei odium.  
And forsomuch as self-love is incompatible with the love of God, he that is vanquished by lust, loveth himself more than God, whom he despiseth: yea more, rather hateth, by reason that prohibiteth him those things which he longeth after and desireth, and chasticeth him for his sins in his person or in his goods: This is the most sovereign sin of the world, for it causeth a man will that which he would should not be seen of God, if it were possible. This is also the sin of the devils which makes them always rebels against their Creator, so as the Psalmist speaketh, The pride of those that hate thee O Lord God increaseth more and more. That this sin is the most grievous that may be committed. Aristotle himself knew full well, who saith, That the act which is opposed against the sovereign good, is the most wickedest of all: Although I will not say that the divine essence may be the object of hatred, considering that being sovereignly good, it may not be hated: notwithstanding I say it may be hated in respect of his effects, as when God punisheth sins and offences.  Philo: 
O Diogenes, this thy plain method, far from Ironical captions, proveth thy singularity: I pray thee proceed, let us hear the horror of the other world.  Dio: 
Thou shalt hear it, or else thou art but deaf, I will ring it in thine ears in hope it may work thy amendment.   

Horror alterius seculi.  
The horror of this world engendereth the horror of heaven, and therefore they that say, that God ought to keep his heaven for himself, and leave the earth unto men, blaspheme like Atheists as they be. And whence proceedeth this? It is for no other cause, but in that they are so fleshed with their sensual voluptuousness, as the Lotophages of Homer, that they would never taste the true and eternal delights, which are (as sweet Nectar and savoury Ambrosia) prepared for the Gods, that is to say, for the servants of God. This vice may also be referred to the sin of idleness. See here O chaste and modest souls, (I speak to none of this auditory, Philoplutos) the hideous Monsters that the sin of Lechery bringeth forth. Let us fly them then even as a plague, if we hope for any part with the blessed, who by the lathers of continence and chastity, have passed the starry Regions, and have attained the celestial palace and eternal mansions, which jesus Christ hath prepared for all chaste and modest souls.  
They that avoid not the degrees of Lechery, but admit them in taking pleasure in them, commit a mortal offence. And what are the degrees of luxury? They are seven. The first is, to suffer sensuality to move us without repressing it: The second, the temporal delectation of sin: The third, the willing consentment unto sin: The fourth, impudent regards: The fifth, lascivious and wanton discourses: The sixth, immodest kisses, touches and embracements: The seventh, is the consummation of carnal delight, wherein resteth the bitter sting of death.  
Who so flieth not the occasions of this sin, but rather pursueth them, sinneth mortally: and what are the occasions of this sin? They are seven also, as there are seven degrees. The first is idleness which hath been the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrha, and the ruin of Aegistus, etc. and therefore the Poet saith, 
Otia si tollas periere Cupidinis arcus,  
Contemptaeque jacent & sine luce faces.   
The second, too great repose, as they which sleep at their ease in their down beds (as you do Philoplutos) against the counsel of the Apostles. The third, the belly cherishing. The fourth, abundance of wine which is a most luxurious thing (as saith the wise man) and therefore saint Paul admonisheth us to take heed thereof, saying: Be not drunk with wine, in which luxuriousness aboundeth. The fifth, too great curiosity of the fine gifts of nature, against which the Scripture saith: Auerte faciem tuam à nuliere compta. The sixth, pride and presumption, as Oseas speaketh of Israel. The last and most dangerous, is too great familiarity & conversation with women, which hath been the ruin of divers men: For as the Poet saith, 
Urit videndo Foemina,   
Which is to be understood actively and passively, that is to say, she burneth herself and burneth others in beholding, and other burn in seeing her. For this occasion sage Sidiach admonisheth us, not to be daily conversant among women: For their words (saith he) are more slipper than oil, but in the end they are steeled arrows to destroy, as David testifieth. The ancient Hebrews were not ignorant hereof, among whom one called Rabi Iose, the son of Rabi jochanan of Jerusalem said, Multiply not too many words with a woman, for the ancient sages have taught us, that as often as a man talketh long time with a woman, he procureth his ruin and withdraweth himself from the contemplation of celestial things, and finally falleth into hell: so hear the dangers that follow the great pleasure we take in iybing and jesting with women, be they good or evil, and I think it is the same which the Ecclesiastical paradox would conclude, which sayeth, that the iniquity of a man is better than the good of a woman, that is to say, that there is no so dangerous habitation with an evil man, as with the wife of his neighbour, for the peril is not so great. For which cause saint Hierome hath advertised his Nicotian not to suffer young women to enter his chamber: Stay not thee with a woman in one and the self same house in trusting to thy chastity: Art thou more strong than Samson? more holy than David? More sage than Solomon? And as touching the religious man named Rustinus he wrote him back an epistle, in which he advertised him that he very seldom times visiteth his own mother because he would not be tempted by the regard of those who came with her, & for fear the smoke should lie covered in his heart, which he might not extinguish when he would: For this cause the holy ancient Hermits fled from the acquaintance of women although holy. So than if the holy fathers admonish us to fly from the familiarity of those that are virtuous, how careful should we be to fly the conversation of those which are both wicked, wanton and light fingered? These are the Sirens who by their melodious and attractive song enchant meu, and finally cast them headlong into terrible and dangerous shipwreck, that which the Mithologia of Homer declareth unto us, who saith that the valiant Captain Ulysses having stopped the ears of his companions for fear they should hear the Sirens voice, he caused them to be tied to the Mast, to the end that their melodious song should not cast them headlong into the sea. The same also was intended in the history of the harlot Circe's, who (as Homer saith, and after him Virgil (changed men into swine, Lions, Bears, and other savage beasts, that is to say, that lubricity changed the men into brute beasts. It shall be easy to gather the mishaps which a dissolute and wanton woman draweth after her, which are taken from the Latin word Mulier, which representeth unto us so many evils as that containeth letters, which are six: to wit M. U. L. I. E. R. An evil woman is the evil of eulls: the vanity of vanities: the lechery of letcheries: the choler of chollers: the fury of furies: and the ruin of Realms. Another good father hath discoursed all these Epithets according to the order of the Alphabet. But what is that the Italian Poet speaketh, when thus against that sex he inveigheth.  

Credo che t'habbiae la natura, e Dio  
Produtto o scelerato sesso, all mondo  
Per una soma, per un grave fio  
Del huom', che senza te saria giocondo  
Comm' ha' produtto anco il serpenterio,  
Eil lupo è l orso, è fa l'aer feconds,  
Edi mosche, è di vespe, è di tafani,  
El'oglio, è avena, fanascer troth i grani,  
Perche fatto non ha l'alma natura  
Che senza te potesse nascer' l'home,  
come s'inesta per humana cura,  
L'vn sopra l'altro, il pero, il sorlo, il pomo?  
Ma quella non può far' sempre a misura.  
Anzi s'io vo guardar, come io la nomo.  
Ueggio che non può far' cosa perfetta,  
Poi che natura femina vine detta.  
Non siate pero tumide o fastose  
Donne, per dir che l'hom sia vostro figlio;  
Che de le spin anchor nascon lerose,  
E d'vna fedida herba nasce il giglio?  
Importune, superb, è dispettose,  
Fr●●e damour, di fede, è di consiglio,  
temerary, crudeli, inique, ingrate,  
Par pestilentia eterna al mondo nate. etc.   
I had rather some other should take the pains to translate these verses into our mother tongue, than myself: for now a days the world swarmeth with such a number of privy Aristarchi, that think no meat can be good, that is not sod in their own broth, nor Proverb well applied that hath not past their pen: wherefore I will spare that pains, and pass over the care thereof to some of those which are so curious, to bestow their cunnings. Yet Philoplutos and Cosmosophos, although Diogenes be blunt, I would have you witness with me, that I wish all virtuous Ladies should understand, that none but Lais and her faction are touched in this invective: for them that are honest, I have a cup of good fountain water, a dish of Coleworts, and a hearty welcome.  Cosmo: 
Well Diogenes, since thy discourse hath proved the monstrous mother Lechery so deadly, and each of her abortive daughters so dangerous, we pray thee so much farther to favour us, that in opening Sulla's gorge, thou teach us to avoid Charybdis gulf: and having told us the rage thereof, we entreat thee to prescribe a remedy.  Dio: 
I will perform your request, and before I finish my discourse, chop one thrust further in, and talk of the remedies of luxury: by which, as with a preservative and antidote, some of our unreclaymed Athenian youngsters, may (following the example of those happy souls and good Christians, which pretend their part in heaven) keep and preserve themselves from this contagion. First of all, we ought to call to mind, that sensuality and lust destroyeth and dissipateth a man's goods, in such sort as it handled the prodigal Child, who consumed all his substance with harlots.  
The goods of a man are of three sorts, the goods of the spirit, the goods of the body, and the goods of fortune, that is to say, gold, silver, lands, and possessions: and finally, all that which a man may have in this mortal life, either concerning pleasure or profit: Therefore the same it is which Solomon saith, he that nourisheth a harlot looseth his substance. It is not requisite to discourse hereupon any further, since experience daily declareth us by one an other how many prodigal men fall in the pitfold. As touching the goods of the body, it causeth a thousand maladies, as the Surgians may testify, who heal the pox, the sickness of Naples, cankers, and other villainies which come thereby, it consumeth the vital humour, and weakeneth the brain, and consequently the nerves of the whole body, as Aristotle, and after him Galen, which also natural reason sufficiently teacheth us: for the act of lasciviousness after it hath consumed the natural heat, maketh all the hot body i'll: nay more, cooleth the brain, which according to some Philosophers is the siege of human seed, which is cold of itself. From thence oftentimes proceedeth the Epilepsy and falling sickness, to which divers sorts of men are subject. I believe this was the reason that moved Avicen the Arabian to say, that the exercise of palliardise is more permcious to the body of man, than if he had divers time endured letting of blood. In brief Lechery weakeneth the forces, inféebleth the member, depriveth the body of his beauty, defaceth the crimson taint of the visage, furroweth the brows, maketh the eyes dim and heavy, causeth the Fever and gout, and finally abridgeth man's life. By reason whereof the Philosopher said, that they which are luxurious, live not so long time as those that are chaste and continent. All this being well considered, by the great Philosopher saint Paul, he said unto the Corinthians, that he which addieteth himself to fornication and uncleanness of the body, beside the offence that is committed against the divine Majesty of God, sinneth against his own flesh, in abbridging his days, and by consequence is a homicide of himself. If there need any question to speak of the goods of the spirit, it is most certain, that jubricitie consumeth them far more than any other sin. First of all it destroyeth the infused virtues, which are the grace of God, and the seven gifts of the holy spirit, which are incompatible with luxuriousness, and of which one only ounce out valueth all the goods and benefits of this flattering world. Secondly, it consumeth the four Cardinal virtues, to wit, Prudence, Temperance, Fortitude, and justice, so famous among the Philosophers: it obscureth the understanding, blindeth the memory, dulleth free will, and in most taketh away human judgement, and maketh him blind and inconsiderate in matters aswell modern, as necessary to his salvation. If all this were well considered, our picked youngsters having their peakes starched for fear of stirring, their coats perfumed, their garments jagged, would leave to iybe with this cursed lechery, for fear they jig themselves out of heaven: and our pretty mistresses that set no foot on the ground, but as if they tread on Moss: and traverse more on the heel than they trip on the toe, they would find here a good bridle for them to draw them from the love of this infected lechery. Secondly, they ought to consider how much this filthy folly is both dishonest and undecent for a soul which is created according to the image of God: Nay more, how detestable it is to a man to show himself in this licentious act like unto brute beasts, to lose the use of reason, and to make himself the slave of iniquity, which also the Philosophers themselves have held in horror. Moreover, we ought to regard how vain this pleasure is, and of how small continuance, and that it is but as a wind that passeth, which is followed with a thousand and a thousand remorses:  
For the Proverb lieth not which sayeth, Pour un plaisir mill doleurs. The fruit also of lasciviousness is but repentance, as Demosthenes declared to that great harlot Lais. It is (I say) a true repentance to a sinning soul, which seeth, that the pleasure is gove and the sin and shame remaineth with him. Ah 'las, said the Apostle, what fruit have you received of these things of which you are ashamed? Know, that the reward of sin is death. Now little contentment this pleasure yieldeth, it sufficiently appeareth, since all creatures but a Cock, as the Philosopher saith, Contristantur post coitum: as that feeling already the repentance and blot that remaineth, men and reasonable creatures seeing themselves reduced by one so villainous an act to the life of brute beasts, which is a great shame for them.  
The third remedy, is to fly the occasions, in not regarding amorous books, nor esteeming vain things, nor hearing immodest purposes, nor frequenting Women, except under the title of virtue, and in sum, to avoid the other occasions which are incident to incite us to this cursed error.  
The fourth, we ought to fast, watch and pray, endeavouring by all good means to subdue the flesh unto the spirit, which is a singular remedy, so as in times past the ancient Fathers have experimented oftentimes in the solitary Deserts, where they mortified their bodies. Benet and Francis, two mirrors of chastity, whereof the first on a time being stirred with fleshly motions, he cast off his clothes, and all naked laid him down upon sharp pricking thorns, till being at last over-bloudied, he overcame the temptation. The other being agitated with this passion, laid him down naked in depth of winter in a pit of snow: and another time seeing himself tempted by a woman, he set his naked feet (O incredible thing) upon the burning coals, rather desirous to be burned with material fire, than with that fire which is inextinguible.  
The fifth, is oftentimes to think on the day of death, at which time we ought to enter into count with the just judge, who shall cast all fornicators into perpetual darkness, stored with inquenchable fire: so as the learned Poet Dante most eloquently describeth. It is a remedy (saith Athanasius) which saint Anthony used, to think on the pains of hell, when he thought to exclude out his filthy and dissolute thoughts: Which also the great doctor Iherome was accustomed to do as he himself witnesseth of himself.  
The sixth, when a man is tempted to commit that vice, he ought to consider, that God which is present in all places is at hand, and beholdeth us: and our good Angel which seeth us, before whom we ought to be ashamed to perpetrate so villainous an act, since we durst not avow the doing thereof before the poorest man of the world. By this meditation, the Hermit Pasnacus converted a sinful woman called Thais, giving her to understand that in no place of the earth, how secret so ever it be, she could so covertly hide herself, that God would not both espy & behold her, and therefore said he: you ought not to be so impudent & shameless, as to commit so villainous a sin in the presence of so great a signor: and although God did not see, us, yet ought we not to commit the sin, it is so filthy & dishonest of itself. The Pagan's themselves, by a natural light, knew well to say this, as Cicero who writeth, that a chaste and virtuous person ought never to commit the foul offence of lust, although neither Gods nor men were privy thereunto.  
The seventh, we ought to consider, that there is nothing that more hindereth the human spirit from Philosophy and true contemplation of heavenly things, than the delectation of the flesh.  
The same is that which Orpheus, Trimigistus, Pythagoras, Socrates, Plato, Empedocles, Plotinus, Lamthiques, Simplicius, Plutarch, Cicero, & other lights of moral Philosophy have left us in writing, saying the soul is tied to terrestrial things by pleasure, as it were with nails, in such sort as it cannot mount on high and contemplate divine things: and they hereunto annex, that they who despoil themselves of these pleasures, went unto the heavens in the company of celestial spirits, and dwell with God, where they experiment a pleasure incomprehensible to the humane spirit. But to the accomplishment hereof, they ought first of all to hate their bodies, & chase away their pleasures: for as Orpheus sayeth: If thou hatest not thy body thou canst not love thyself well. Is it not the true Orpheus jesus Christ that saith unto us: He that loveth (saith he) his soul in this world, that is to say his body, he shall lose it in another: And he that hateth it in this world, shall keep it in the life eternal. The same is it that Cicero intimateth when he writeth: that the sensual sort, who have given themselves over for a pray to the pleasures and delights of this world, and have violated both divine and human laws, are deprived of life in the other world, and abide beneath in the earth, agitated and tormented from divers ages to ages until such time as they return: that is, they shall be tormented world without end.  
The eight remedy, which is the most sovereign of all is: that we ought (when we feel ourselves urged by the enticements of the flesh) to have recourse unto God by prayer and tears, and to implore his aid with an ardent affection, as they that see themselves suddenly surprised with a huge tempest in the midst of the Ocean sea: For in sooth, the combat of the flesh is a true tempest and storm, and to this end it shall be good to present unto God some good and short Prayers, such as Augustine in his temptations, and the Hern it Isaac (as Cassianus writeth) were wont to use. In sum, in taking these courses we shall have fewer Lechers in Athens, and more religious.  Cosmo: 
Truly Diogenes thy plain method of doctrine in this point, argueth thy ability both to correct bitterly and to persuade blessedly: So that thou seemest to be no Grecian tied to earthly contemplations, but a man inspired with more than Apollo's wisdom: for to discern matters incident to the sense and subject to reason, is the part of a prudent man and a searching wit, but to enter thus profoundly into the nature of sin, and the workings of God, argueth that thy inspiration is from God: we therefore bide thy reprehensions with more patience, and attend thy counsels with more perseverance.  Dio: 
Your conformity pleaseth me: have you not read that Diogenes is a dog that biteth men but for their amendment, and not for envy: then hear me and I will heal wounds. Philoplutos thou art in authority, wherein thou canst not so live, but thou must be subject to evil language, thou must have a serpent's ear to prevent the charms of the flatterer, and Linx his eye to spy out contempts ere they attempt thee. If thou art reproved of the just for a good cause mend thyself, for their second assault is seasoned with shame, if wrongfully beware to stir too much lest being not guilty, thy stirring make some suppose that thou stinkest. It is a trim thing to be silent, a wisdom to be silent: thou mayst kill with thy eye when thou listest, but keep thine eye from lusting after other men's blame, lest thou prove blind in thine envy, and thine envy cause thy death. An envious man (in Virgil's opinion) may be compared to a viper that gnaweth the bones and sucketh the blood and beareth his own torment in himself: In brief, if thou be envious thou shalt live Titius' life, and be so wounded in heart, as neither the son of Saturn, nor the god Phoebus, nor Aesculapius the cunning shallbe able to cure thee. Alexander the great said often: that the envious were their own hangmen; And the wise Greek Periander, that even as rust eateth the Iron, so envy devoureth his Master. Plutarch detesteth this vice. And Horace saith: 
invidia Siculi non in venere tiranni  
Maius tormentum.   
This is it which Martial condemneth, and the reason that caused Socrates to wish that all envious men were nought throughout every part but ears and eyes to the end that seeing and hearing other men's prosperity, they might be the more tormented, and receive their punishment which they deserve. Fly this therefore Philoplutos, and with this, fly insatiable covetousness, which thou shalt effect if thou have a constant determination to live to Fame and not to Fortune. It is better thou die with Photion than live like Demades. Husband not for many Winters, for thou art old. Care not for to morrow, let to morrow care for itself. Only live well this day and lay thy hopes on heaven, and he that provideth for the little birds will not see thee want. Look on me Philoplutos, my joints are not stiff, my face without furrows, my body without sickness, my life without hate: and why? I satisfy Nature without surfeit, I am not careful of worldly things which bewitch men. I am not curious of delicates to increase diseases: neither envying any man, am I envied by any man? Is not this a trim felicity in this life to be lord both over himself and his affections? Now hear me further Philoplutos, thou must be liberal: they that have full hands must have free hearts, who distributeth his store in earth, heapeth up store in heaven. There is nothing nicknameth the mighty more than nigardise. It is one of the vanities most vain under the sun as the wiseman teacheth, to heap up without reason, to keep with care, and to die in contempt. All the victories of Alexander made him not so famous as his bounty to Aristotle: Neither liveth Scipio so much in his conquests as in his liberality to the learned. What availeth it to build rich Towers which are subject to wind, fire, force and engines? to erect huge Pyramids, to plant fair vineyards? these are but the scabs of superfluite, which posterity perhaps become more continent, will blame as the ruins of the great buildings of Constantine, before him Vaspatian, and divers other Romans. Ah Philoplutos, if thou wilt build a Palace of eternity, entertain learned writers about thee, in whose lines thou and thy posterity shall live, when the Raven shall build in thy bravest habitation. I know thou art in the way to honour, & by reading and practising the lives of the ancients thou hast become a great staff to the state: Seek therefore as careful of thy common weal after thy death, to raise up by thy liberality those ripe wits who may when thou wantest, profit the commonweal, so shalt thou in time to come be thought a Maecenas, else now pointed at for a miser. And next to the learned with the pen, forget not those who deserve with the Pike: they are members which while the Persian monarchs kept in maintenance and exercise, they became Masters of the whole world. Sesostris of Egypt had he not had these helps, and restrained them in continence, and maintained them in credit, his father had lost all before he had won any thing. It was an old custom of Philip to love Parmenio, in that he was a good Leader, & Ajax had his place in the Grecian wars as well as Nestor, and soldiers must be considered of, as well in peace as in war. I know Philoplutos, thou buiest a warm gown against Winter and linest it well, thou tylest thy house against storms and lymest it well, thou fencest thy grounds against cattle and keepest them well, and wilt thou not in like care provide against the winter of envy, some able soldiers to prevent the enemy? But thou wilt say soldiers are every where to be gotten for money, Athens is full of men, we have store of munition, why then should we care? But what said Hannibal to Xerxes, who demanded if his huge Army armed in gold were not sufficient to overcome the Romans? Yes said Hannibal smiling, this were sufficient to overcome the patientest and dastardest heart that liveth, much more the Romans', meaning hereby that pomp is not the terrifying, neither the multitude the amating of the enemy: But resolute courages seeing great prizes before them, behave themselves as those at the games of Olympus, they stretch strings and heart strings in expectation of reward. Had not Darius a huge Host bravely furnished? A million of horsemen to attend on him: and what then? Alexander with thirty thousand experienced Macedons overthrew him: Then what is a multitude? We see by experience, that the old Ox trained to the yoke draweth better than the youngest Heighfer, and that use and experience having the Mastery in all things, cannot be outfaced in military discipline. Stretch policy to the highest point: in salomon's days (being the wisest prince that lived, maintaining as great peace as ever was) the Captains and the Officers of the Host were maintained, so were they in his father's days, in all good states, the maintenance of soldiers is the planting of peace: for the exercise and value of the soldier breedeth fear in the enemy. The Tartarians that invaded Asia and some part of Europe, and whose conquests are famous in India, at first were a contemptible Nation: But when Clangius the Smith had first brought them in exercise, then beautified them with honours, what Nation either heathen or Christian durst look upon them? The Spanish have as hot courages as we, the Almains are as big boand men, the French as politic, all these more exercised than we be, as populous and more, what want they then to be our Masters, what have we but hope and security, which may deceive Athens as it did Siracusa, which was taken by a handful of men in despite of the whole Island. Believe me Philoplutos, there is no inconvenience more in this City than to see Brokers dining at our Merchant's tables, and soldiers begging at every man's door: To see Tailors well paid for inventing a new fashion, & soldiers scorned at for presenting a strong fortification. If our Athenians will look for no change, then let them think to live in no world: If they be assured there will come change, then let them be provident against the change of the world. In nature and the natural constitution of the body, the hands are as soldiers to execute the resolutions of the heart, and the heart from her vital conduits sendeth blood to warm the hands. Such affinity and alliance ought to be between the Governor that ruleth, and the soldier that executeth: there must some sweet shower of gold come out of his Coffers to refresh them, or they wax dull, they are devoured with idleness, so that when they should defend the heart, their fingers are numbde they cannot fight, because they want the use of feeling. Look to this Philoplutos, be not accused for this cause, the self care they say suketh all. The fair Lambs are only reserved for self care, the vines drop Nectar for self care, the trees yield fruit for self care: thus self care hath the sweet of all things, whilst poor soldiers sweat, fight and fast with care, and all for care. But the proverb is, true care preserveth all things, therefore self care is not politic in leaving the soldier nothing. But the day passeth, Cosmosophos have at thee: Smooth thou no more left the Gods smite, whose ears since they are open to hear prayers, will stir up his wrath to revenge your pernicious cruelties. Flatter not yourselves with opinions of delay, for danger is no hireling, he cometh as well in the dawn as in the dark, leave thy corruptions, Simonies, Briberies, extortions annihilations, exceptions, paradoxes, policies: these are the steps to thy sin. These are the mischiefs that have incited Achitophel & judas to hang themselves, who being not able to endure the violence and horror of their miquities, thought it better to kill themselves than to abide their deadly corment. These are the furies that agitated Orestes. These are they which as Cicero witnesses, will break thy sleeps, because thy conscience beats thy brain and procures thy bane: being therefore worldly wise so long as to extreme age, became godly wise at last Let not worldly occasions detain thee. 'Twere better for thee to dance in thy I acket than to be hanged in thy jirkin. Thou must not say, I am enforced to deceive others, in that I must live: for by this life thou atchievest death. It is better to be poisoned with Socrates, than to flátter with Aristippus. Shut the door before the steed be stolen. Look before thou leap. Fear before thou fall. Repent before revenge come. The day is spent, I am weary with speaking. The hour of meditation bids me leave you. Go you to your sumptuous leastes, Leave Diogenes to his chaste fast. To morrow, if you visit me again, I will rip up now griefs. Till when, get you gone: and if you forget good Lessons the devil go with you; for goodness is departed from you.  Philo: 
Farewell Diogenes, as our occasions serve we will seek thee out: mean while I pray thee mitigate the austerity of thy tongue for it is too busy.  Dio: 
Nay some sickness fall upon thy fingers for they feel too soon.  Cosmo: 
Good Diogenes be patiented, he speaketh for thy best.  Dio: 
God better him and thee too, or else the best is noughts.  Philo: 
Come let us leave him, when he leaveth his crabbedness the Sun will want clearness.  Dio: 
And if you want craft, the sea will lack water.   
FINIS.