THE SCORNFUL lady.  
A Comedy.  
As it was Acted (with great applause) by the Children of Her majesties Revels in the BLACK friars.  
Written by FRA. BEAUMONT and IO. FLETCHER, Gent.  
LONDON  
¶ Printed for miles Partridge, and are to be sold at his Shop at the George near St. Dunston's Church in Fleetstreet. 1616.   

The Scornful Lady: A COMEDY.  

Actus primus,  

Scaena prima.  Enter the two Louelesses, Savill the Steward, and a Page. Eld. Lou. 
BRother, is your last hope past to mollify Moorecraft's heart about your Mortgage?  Yong. Loue. 
Hopelessly passed: I have presented the Usurer with a richer draft, then ever Cleopatra swallowed; he hath sucked in ten thousand pounds worth of my Land, more than he paid for at a gulp, without Trumpets.  El. Lo. 
I have as hard a task to perform in this house.  Yo. Lo. 
Faith mine was to make a Usurer honest, or to lose my land.  El. Lo. 
And mine is to persuade a passionate woman, or to leave the Land.  
Savill make the boat stay, I fear I shall begin my unfortunate journey this night, though the darkness of the night and the roughness of the waters might easily dissuade an unwilling man.  savil. 
Sir, your father's old friends hold it the sounder course for your body and estate, to stay at home, and marry, and propagate, and govern in your Country, than to travel for diseases, and return following the Court in a nightcap, and die without issue.  El. Lo. 
Savill, you shall gain the opinion of a better servant, in seeking to execute, not alter my will, howsoever my intents succeed.  Yo. Lo. 
Yonder's Mistress Yonglove brother, the grave rubber of your mistress toes.  Enter Mistress Yonglove the waiting woman. El. Lo. 
Mistress Yonglove.  Yong. 
Mr. Lovelesse, truly we thought your sails had been hoist: my Mistress is persuaded you are seasick ere this.  El Lo. 
loves she her ill taken up resolution so dearly? Didst thou move her for me?  Yong. 
By this light that shines, there's no removing her, if she get a stiff opinion by the end. I attempted her today when they say a woman can deny nothing.  El. Lo. 
What critical minute was that?  Yong. 
When her smock was over her ears: but she was no more pliant than if it hung about her heels.  El. Lo. 
I prithee deliver my service, and say I desire to see the dear cause of my banishment; and then for France.  Yong. 
I'll do't: hark hither, is that your Brother?  El. Lo. 
Yes, have you lost your memory?  Yong. 
As I live he's a pretty fellow.  Exit. Yo Lo. 
O this is a sweet brach.  El. Lo. 
Why she knows not you.  Yo. Lo. 
No, but she offered me once to know her: to this day she loves youth of eighteen; she heard a tale how Cupid struck her in love with a great Lord in the Tiltyard, but he never saw her; yet she in kindness would needs wear a willow garland at his wedding. She loved all the Players in the last queen's time once over: She was struck when they acted lovers, and forsook some when they played murderers. She has nine spur-royals, and the servants say she hoards old gold; and she herself pronounces angrily, that the farmer's eldest son, or her Mistress husband's clerk that shall be, that marries her, shall make her a jointure of fourscore pounds a year; she tells tales of the serving-men.  El. Lo. 
Enough, I know her brother. I shall entreat you only to salute my Mistress, and take leave, we'll part at the stairs.  Enter Lady and waiting woman. La. 
Now Sir, this first part of your will is performed: what's the rest?  El. Lo. 
First let me beg your notice for this Gentleman my Brother.  La. 
I shall take it as a favour done to me, though the gentleman hath received but an untimely grace from you, yet my charitable disposition would have been ready to have done him freer courtesies as a stranger, than upon those cold commendations.  Yo. Lo. 
Lady, my salutations crave acquaintance and leave at once.  La. 
Sir I hope you are the master of your own occasions.  Ex. Yo Lo. savil. El. Lo. 
Would I were so. Mistress, for me to praise over again that worth, which all the world, and you yourself can see.  La. 
It's a cold Rome this; Servant.  El. Lo. 
Mistress.  La. 
What think you if I have a chimney for't out here?  El. Lo. 
Mistress another in my place, that were not tied to believe all your actions just, would apprehend himself wronged: But I, whose virtues are constancy & obedience.  La. 
Yonglove, make a good fire above to warm me after my servants Exordiums.  El. Lo. 
I have heard and seen your affability to be such, that the servants you give wages to may speak.  La. 
'tis true, 'tis true; but they speak toth' purpose.  El. Lo. 
Mistress your will leads my speeches from the purpose. But as a man—  La. 
A Simile servant? This room was built for honest meaners, that deliver themselves hastily and plainly, and are gone. Is this a time or place for Exordiums, and Similes, and metaphors? If you have aught to say, break into't; my answers shall very reasonably meet you.  El. Lo. 
Mistress I came to see you.  La. 
That's happily dispatched, the next.  El. Lo. 
To take leave of you.  La. 
To be gone?  El. Lo. 
Yes.  La. 
you need not have despaired of that, nor have used so many circumstances to win me to give you leave to perform my command: Is there a third.  El. Lo. 
Yes, I had a third, had you been apt to hear it.  La. 
I never apter. Fast (good servant) fast.  El. Lo. 
'twas to entreat you to hear reason.  La. 
Most willingly, have you brought one can speak it?  El Lo. 
Lastly, it is to kindle in that barren heart love and forgiveness.  La. 
You would stay at home?  El. Lo. 
Yes Lady.  La. 
Why you may, and doubtlessly will, when you have debated that your commander is but your Mistress, a woman, a weak one, wildly overborne with passions: but the thing by her commanded, is to see dover's dreadful cliff, passing in a poor Water-House; the dangers of the merciless merciless twixt that and Callis, five long hours sail, with three poor weeks victuals.  El. Lo. 
You wrong me.  La. 
Then to land dumb, unable to inquire for an English host, to remove from City to City, by most chargeable post-horse, like one that rod in quest of his mother tongue.  El. Lo 
You wrong me much.  La. 
And all these (almost invincible labours) performed for your mistress to be in danger to forsake her, and to put on new allegiance to some French Lady, who is content to change language with you for laughter, and after your whole year spent in tennis and broken speech, to stand to the hazard of being laughed at at your return, and have tales made on you by the chambermaids.  El. Lo. 
You wrong me much.  La. 
louder yet.  El. Lo. 
You know your least word is of force to make me seek out dangers, move me not with toys: but in this banishment, I must take leave to say, you are unjust: was one kiss forced from you in public by me so unpardonable? why all the hours of day and night have seen us kiss.  La. 
'tis true, and so you satisfied the company that heard me chide.  El Lo. 
Your own eyes were not dearer to you than I?  La. 
And so you told 'em.  El. Lo. 
I did, yet no sign of disgrace need to have stained your cheek: you yourself knew your pure and simple heart to be most unspotted, and free from the least baseness.  La. 
I did: But if a maids heart doth but once think that she is suspected, her own face will write her guilty.  El. Lo. 
But where lay this disgrace? The world that knew us, knew our resolutions well: And could it be hoped that I should give away my freedom, and venture a perpetual bondage with one I never kissed? or could I in strict wisdom take too much love upon me, from her that chose me for her husband?  La. 

Believe me; if my wedding smock were on,  
Were the gloves bought and given, the Licence come,  
Were the Rosemary branches dipped, and all  
The Hipochrists and cakes eat and drunk off,  
Were these two arms encompassed with the hands  
Of Bachelors, to lead me to the Church;  
Were my feet in the door, were I john, said,  
If John should boast a favour done by me,  
I would not wed that year: And you I hope,  
When you have spent his year commodiously,  
In achieving Languages, will at your return  
Acknowledge me more coy of parting with mine eyes,  
Than such a friend. More talk I hold not now,  
If you dare go!   El. Lo. 
I dare you know; First let me kiss.  La. 

Farewell sweet servant, your talk performed,  
On a new ground as a beginning suitor,  
I shall be apt to hear you.   Eld. Lo. 
Farewell cruel Mistress.  Exit Lady. Enter Young Loveless and Savill. Yo. Lo. 
Brother you'll hazard the losing your tide to Gravesend: you have a long half mile by land to Greenwich.  El. Lo. 
I go: but brother, what yet unheard of course to live, doth your imagination flatter you with? your ordinary means are devoured.  Yo. Lo. 
Course? why horse-coursing I think. Consume no time in this: I have no estate to be mended by meditation: he that busies himself about my fortunes, may properly be said to busy himself about nothing.  El. Lo. 
Yet some course you must take, which for my satisfaction resolve and open: If you will shape none, I must inform you, that that man but persuades himself he means to live, that imagines not the means.  Yo. Lo. 
Why live upon others, as others have lived upon me.  El. Lo. 
I apprehend not that: you have fed others, and consequently disposed of 'em: and the same measure must you expect from your maintainers, which will be too heavy an alteration for you to bear.  Yo. Lo. 
Why i'll purse; if that raise me not, I'll bet at bowling-alleys, or man whores; I would fain live by others: but I'll live whilst I am unhanged, and after the thoughts taken.  El. Lo. 
I see you are tide to no particular employment then.  Yo. Lo. 
Faith I may choose my course: they say nature brings forth none but she provides for 'em: I'll try her liberality.  El. Lo. 
Well, to keep your feet out of base and dangerous paths, I have resolved you shall live as Master of my house. It shall be your care Savill to see him fed and clothed, not according to his present estate, but to his birth and former fortunes.  Yo. Lo. 
If it be referred to him, if I be not found in Carnation Jersey stockings, blue devils breeches, with three guards down, and my pocket i'th' sleeves, i'll near look you i'th' face again.  Sa. 
A comelier wear I wiss it is then those dangling slops.  El. Lo. 
To keep you ready to do him all service peaceably, and him to command you reasonably, I leave these further directions in writing, which at your best leisure together open and read.  Enter Yonglove to them with a jewel. Abi. 
Sir my Mr s. commends her love to you in this token, and these words; It is a jewel (she says) which as a favour from her she would request you to wear till your years travel be performed: which once expired, she will hastily expect your happy return.  El Lo. 
Return my service with such thanks, as she may imagine the heart of a suddenly overjoyed man would willingly utter: and you (I hope) I shall with slender arguments persuade to wear this Diamond, that when my Mistress shall through my long absence, and the approach of new suitors, offer to forget me; you may call your eye down to your finger, and remember and speak of me: She will hear thee better than those allied by birth to her; as we see many men much swayed by the grooms of their chambers, not that they have a greater part of their love or opinion on them, as on others, but for they know their secrets.  Abi. 
A my credit I swear, I think 'twas made for me: Fear no other suitors.  El. Lo. 
I shall not need to teach you how to discredit their beginnings, you know how to take exception at their shirts at washing, or to make the maids swear they found plasters in their beds.  Abi. 
I know, I know, and do not you fear the suitors.  El. Lo. 
Farewell, be mindful and be happy: the night calls me.  Exeunt omnes praeter Yonglove. Abi. 
The Gods of the winds befriend you Sir: a constant and a liberal lover thou art; more such God send us.  Enter Welford. Wel. 
Let 'em not stand still, we have rid hard.  Abi. 
A suitor I know by his riding hard, I'll not be seen.  Wel. 
A pretty Hall this, No servant in't? I would look freshly.  Abi. 
You have delivered your errand to me then: there's no danger in a handsome young fellow: I'll show myself.  Wel. 
Lady may it please you to bestow upon a stranger the ordinary grace of salutation: Are you the Lady of this house?  Abi. 
Sir, I am worthily proud to be a servant of hers.  Wel. 
Lady I should be as proud to be a servant of yours, did not my so late acquaintance make me despair.  Abi. 
Sir, it is not so hard to achieve, but nature may bring it about.  Wel. 
For these comfortable words I remain your glad debtor. Is your Lady at home?  Abi. 
She is no straggler Sir.  Wel. 
May her occasions admit me to speak with her?  Abi. 
If you come in the way of a Suitor, No.  Wel. 
I know your affable virtue will be moved to persuade her, that a Gentleman benighted and strayed offers to be bound to her for a night's lodging.  Abi. 
I will commend this message to her: but if you aim at her body, you will be deluded: other women the households of good carriage and government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will perhaps be found as faithful, and not so coy.  Exit Yonglove. Wel. 
What a skin full of lust is this? I thought I had come a-wooing, and I am the courted party. This is right Court fashion: Men, women, and all woe; catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be pliant. But who's here?  Enter Sr. Roger the Curate. Ro. 
God save you Sir, My Lady lets you know she desires to be acquainted with your name before she confer with you.  Wel. 
Sir my name calls me Welford.  Ro. 
Sir, you are a gentleman of a good name. I'll try his wit.  Wel. 
I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two hundred years Sir.  Ro. 
I knew a worshipful and a religious gentleman of your name in the Bishopric of Durham. Call you him cozen?  Wel. 
I am only allied to his virtues Sir.  Ro. 
It is modestly said: I should carry the badge of your Christianity with me to.  Wel. 
What's that, a Cross? there's a tester.  Ro 
I mean the name which your Godfathers & Godmothers gave you at the Font.  Wel. 
'tis Harry: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall beg your names.  Ro. 
Roger.  Wel. 
What room fill you in this house?  Ro 
More rooms than one.  Wel. 
The more the merrier. But may my boldness know, why your Lady hath sent you to decipher my name?  Ro. 
Her own words were these; To know whether you were a formerly denied suitor, disguised in this message: For I can assure you she delights not in Thalame: Hymen and she are at variance, I shall return with much haste.  Exit Roger. Wel. 
And much speed Sir I hope: certainly I am arrived amongst a Nation of new found fools: on a Land where no Navigator has yet planted wit, If I had foreseen it, I would have jaded my breeches with bells, knives, copper and glasses to trade with the women for their virginities: yet I fear I should have betrayed myself to an needless charge then: here's the walking nightcap again.  Enter Roger. Roger. 
Sir, my Lady's pleasure is to see you: who hath commanded me to acknowledge her sorrow. that you must take the pains to come up for so bad entertainment.  Wel. 
I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknowledge you that brought it to be your art's Master.  Ro. 
I am but a bachelor of Art Sir; and I have the mending of all under this roof, from my Lady on her down bed, to the maid in the pease straw.  Wel. 
A Cobbler Sir?  Ro. 
No Sir. I inculcate Divine service within these walls,  Wel. 
But the inhabitants of this house do often employ you on errands, without any scruple of conscience.  Ro. 
Yes, I do take the air many mornings on foot, three or four miles for eggs: but why move you that?  Wel. 
To know whether it might become your function to bid my man to neglect his horse a little, to attend on me.  Ro 
Most properly Sir.  Wel. 
I pray ye do so then: and whilst I will attend your Lady. You direct all this house in the true way?  Ro. 
I do Sir.  Wel. 
And this door (I hope) conducts to your Lady?  Ro. 
Your understanding is ingenious.  Ex severally. Ent. Young Loveless & Savill with a writing. Sa. 
By your favour Sir you shall pardon me.  Yo. Lo. 
I shall beat your favour Sir, cross me no more; I say they shall come in.  Sa. 
Sir you forget one, who I am.  Yo. Lo. 
Sir I do not; thou art my brother's Steward, his cast off mill-money, his Kitchen Arithmetic.  Sa. 
Sir I hope you will not make so little of me.  Yo. Lo. 
I make thee not so little as thou art: for indeed there goes no more to the making of a Steward, but a fair Imprimis, and then a reasonable Item infused into him, and the thing is done.  Sa. 
Nay then you stir my duty, and I must tell you.  Yo Lo. 
What wouldst thou tell me, how Hops go, or hold some rotten discourse of sheep, or when our Lady day falls? Prithee farewell, and entertain my friends, be drunk, and burn thy Table-books: and my dear spark of velvet thou and I  Sa. 
Good Sir remember.  Yo. Lo. 
I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his trust in Almanacs, and horse-faiers, and rose by honey and pot-butter. Shall they come in yet?  Sa. 
Nay then I must unfold your Brother's pleasure, these be the lessons Sir, he left behind him.  Yo. Lo. 
Prithee expound the first.  Sa. 
I leave to keep my house 300 pounds a year; and my Brother to dispose of it.  Yo. Lo. 
Mark that my wicked Steward, and I dispose of it.  Sa. 
Whilst he bears himself like a Gentleman, and my credit falls not in him. Mark that my good young Sir, mark that.  Yong. Lo 
Nay if it be no more I shall fulfil it: whilst my legs will carry me i'll bear myself gentlemanlike, but when I am drunk, let them bear me that can. Forward dear steward.  Sa. 
Next it is my will, that he be furnished (as my brother) with attendance, apparel, and the obedience of my people.  Yo. Lo. 
Steward this is as plain as your old minikin breeches. Your wisdom will relent now, will it not? Be mollified or— you understand me Sir, proceed.  Sa. 
Next, that my Steward keep his place, and power, and bound my brother's wildness with his care.  Yo. Lo. 
I'll hear no more this apocrypha, bind it by itself steward.  Sa. 
This is your Brother's will, and as I take it, he makes no mention of such company as you would draw unto you. captains of Gallifoists, such as in a clear day have seen Callis, fellows that have no more of God, than their oaths comes to: they wear swords to reach fire at a Play, and get there the oyld end of a pipe for their guerdon: then the remnant of your regiment are wealthy Tobacco merchants, that set up with one ounce, and break for three; together with a forlorn hope of Poets, and all these look like Carthusians, things without linen: Are these fit company for my Master's Brother?  Yong. Lo. 
I will either convert thee (O thou Pagan steward) or presently confound thee and thy reckonings, who's there? call in the Gent.  Sa. 
Good Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Nay you shall know both who I am, and where I am.  Sa. 
Are you my master's Brother?  Yo. Lo. 
Are you the sage Master Steward, with a face like an old ephemerides?  Enter his Comrades. Captain, traveler. Sa. 
Then God help all, I say.  Yo. Lo. 
ay, and 'tis well said my old peer of France: welcome gentlemen, welcome gentlemen; mine own dear lads, you're richly welcome. Know this old harry-groat.  Cap. 
Sir I will take your love.  Sa. 
Sir you will take my purse.  Cap. 
And study to continue it.  Sa. 
I do believe you.  Tra. 
Your honourable friend and master's brother, hath given you to us for a worthy fellow, and so we hug you Sir.  Sa. 
Has given himself into the hands of varlets, not to be carved out. Sir are these the pieces?  Yo. Lo. 
They are the Morals of the age, the virtues. Men made of Gold.  Sa. 
Of your gold you mean Sir.  Yong. Lo. 
This is a man of war, that cries go on; and wears his Colours.  Sa. 
In's nose.  Yo. Lo. 
In the fragrant field. This is a traveler Sir, knows men and manners, and has ploughed up the Sea so far, till both the poles have knocked, has seen the Sun take Coach, and can distinguish the colour of his horses, and their kinds, and had a Flanders Mare leapt there.  Sa. 
'tis much.  Tra. 
I have seen more Sir.  Sa. 
'tis even enough a conscience; sit down, and rest you, you are at the end of the world already. Would you had as good a living Sir as this Fellow could lie you out of has a notable gift in't.  Yo. Lo. 
This ministers the Smoke, and this the Muses.  Sa. 
And you the clothes, and meat, and money, you have a goodly generation of 'em, pray let 'em multiply, your Brother's house is big enough, and to say truth, has too much Land, hang it dirt.  Yo. Lo. 
Why now thou art a loving stinkard. Fire off thy annotations and thy rent books; thou hast a weak brain Savill, and with the next long Bill thou wilt run mad. Gentlemen you are once more welcome to three hundred pounds a year; we will be freely merry, shall we not?  Captain. 
Merry as mirth, and wine my lovely Lovelesse.  Poet. 
A serious look shall be a jury to excommunicate any man from our company.  Tra. 
We will have nobody talk wisely neither.  Yo. Lo. 
What think you gentlemen by all this Revenue in drink?  Cap. 
I am all for drink.  Tra. 
I am dry till it be so.  Po. 
He that will not cry Amen to this, let him live sober, seem wise, and die ath Corum.  Yo. Lo. 
It shall be so, we'll have it all in drink, let meat and lodging go, theyare transitory, and show men merely mortal: then we'll have wenches, every one his wench, and every week a fresh one: we'll keep no powdered flesh: all these we have by warrant under the Title of things necessary. Here upon this place I ground it: the obedience of my people, and all necessaries: Your opinions Gentlemen?  Cap. 
'tis plain and evident that he meant wenches.  Sa. 
Good Sir let me expound it.  Cap. 
Here be as sound men as yourself Sir.  Poet. 
This do I hold to be the interpretation of it; In this word Necessary, is concluded all that be helps to man: woman was made the first, and therefore here the chiefest.  Yo. Lo. 
Believe me 'tis a learned one, and by these words; The obedience of my people, (you steward being one) are bound to fetch us wenches.  Cap. 
He is, he is.  Yo. Lo. 
Steward attend us for instructions.  Sa. 
But will you keep no house Sir?  Yo. Lo. 
Nothing but drink, three hundred pounds in drink.  Sa. 
O miserable house, and miserable I that live to see it. Good Sir keep some meat.  Yo. Lo. 
Get us good whores, and for your part, I'll board you in an Alehouse, you shall have cheese and onions.  Sa. 
What shall become of me, no chimney smoking? Well prodigal, your brother will come home.  Ex. Yo. Lo. 
Come lads I'll warrant you for wenches, three hundred pounds in drink.  Exeunt omnes.   

Actus 2  

Scaena prima.  Enter Lady, her sister Martha, Welford, Yonglove, and others. La. 
Sir now you see your bad lodging, I must bid you good-night.  Wel. 
Lady if there be any want, 'tis in want of you.  La. 
A little sleep will ease that complement. Once more good night.  Wel. 
Once more dear Lady, and then all sweet nights.  La. 
Dear Sir be short and sweet then.  Wel. 
Shall the morrow prove better to me, shall I hope my suit happier by this night's rest.  La. 
Is your suit so sickly that rest will help it? Pray ye let it rest then till I call for it. Sir as a stranger you have had all my welcome: but had I known your errand ere you came, your passage had been straighter: Sir, good night.  Wel. 
So fair, and cruel, dear unkind good-night.  Exit Lady. 
Nay Sir you shall stay with me, I'll press your zeal so far.  Ro. 
O Lord Sir,  Wel. 
Do you love Tobacco?  Ro. 
Surely I love it, but it loves not me; yet with your reverence i'll be bold.  Wel. 
Pray light it Sir. How do you like it.  Ro. 
I promise you it is notable stinging gear indeed. It is wet Sir, Lord how it brings down rheum?  Wel. 
Handle it again Sir; you have a warm text of it.  Ro. 
Thanks ever premised for it. I promise you it is very powerful, and by a Trope, spiritual: for certainly it moves in sundry places.  Wel. 
ay, it does so Sir, and me especially to ask Sir, why you wear a night cap.  Ro. 
Assuredly I will speak the truth unto you; you shall understand Sir, that my head is broken, and by whom; even by that visible beast the Butler.  Wel. 
The Butler? certainly he had all his drink about him when he did it. Strike one of your grave Cassock? The offence Sir?  Ro. 
Reproving him at Tra-trip Sir, for swearing: you have the total surely.  Wel. 
You told him when his rage was set a-tilt, and so he cracked your Cannons. I hope he has not hurt your gentle reading: But shall we see these gentlewomen tonight?  Ro. 
Have patience Sir, until our fellow Nicholas be deceased, that is, asleep: for so the word is taken; to sleep to die, to die to sleep: a very Figure Sir.  Wel. 
Cannot you cast another for the gentlewomen?  Ro. 
Not till the man be in his bed, his grave; his grave, his bed; the very same again Sir. Our Comic Poet gives the reason sweetly; Plenus rimarum est, he is full of loop-holes, and will discover to our Patroness.  Wel. 
Your comment Sir has made me understand you.  Enter Maria the Lady's sister, and Yonglove to them with a posset. Ro. 
Sir be addressed, the graces do salute you with the full bowl of plenty. Is our old enemy entombed?  Abi. 
He's fast?  Ro. 
And does he snore out supinely with the Poet?  Mar. 
No, he out-snores the Poet.  Wel. 
Gentlewoman, this courtesy shall bind a stranger to you, ever your servant.  Mar. 
Sir, my Sister's strictness makes not us forget you are a stranger and a Gentleman.  Abi. 
In sooth Sir were I changed into into my Lady, a Gentleman so well endued with parts, should not be lost.  Wel. 
I thank you Gentlewoman, and rest bound to you. See how this foul familiar chews the Cud: From thee and three and fifty, good love deliver me.  Mar. 
Will you sit down Sir, and take a spoon?  Wel. 
I take it kindly Lady.  Mar. 
It is our best banquet Sir.  Ro. 
Shall we give thank,?  Wel. 
I have to the Gentlewoman already Sir.  Mar. 
Good Sir Roger keep that breath to cool your part o'th' posset, you may chance have a scalding zeal else: and you will needs be doing, pray tell your twenty to yourself. Would you could like this Sir?  Wel. 
I would your Sister would like me as well Lady.  Mar. 
Sure Sir she would not eat you: but banish that imagination; she's only wedded to herself, lies with herself, and loves herself; and for another husband then herself, he may knock at the gate, but near come in: be wise Sir, she's a woman, and a trouble, and has her many faults, the least of which is, she cannot love you.  Abi. 
God pardon her, she'll do worse, would I were worthy his least grief Mistress Martha.  Wel. 
Now I must overhear her.  Mar. 
Faith would thou hadst them all with all my heart: I do not think they would make thee a day older.  Abi. 
Sir will you put in deeper, 'tis the sweeter.  Mar. 
Well said old sayings.  Wel. 
She looks like one indeed. Gentlewoman you keep your word, your sweet self has made the bottom sweeter.  Abi. 
Sir I begin a frolic, dare you change Sir?  Wel. 
myself for you, so please you. That smile has turned my stomach. This is right the old emblem of the Moil cropping off thistles: Lord what a hunting head she carries, sure she has been ridden with a Martingale. Now love deliver me.  Ro. 
Do I dream, or do I wake? surely I know not: am I rubbed off? is this the way of all my morning's prayers? Oh Roger, thou art but grass, and woman as a flower. Did I for this consume my quarters in meditation, vows, and wooed her in Heroical Epistles? Did I expound the Owl, and undertook, with labour and expense the recollection of those thousand Pieces, consumed in Cellars and Tobacco shops of that our honoured Englishman Ni. Br.? Have I done this, and am I done thus too? I will end with the wiseman, and say, He that holds a woman, has an Eel by the tail.  Ma. 
Sir, 'tis so late, and our entertainment (meaning our posset) by this is grown so cold, that 'twere an unmannerly part longer to hold you from your rest: let what the house has be at your command Sir.  Wel. 
Sweet rest be with you Lady; and to you what you desire too.  Exeunt. Abi. 
It should be some such good thing like yourself then.  Wel. 
Heaven keep me from that curse, and all my Issue. Good night Antiquity.  Ro. 
Solamen Miseris socios habuisse doloris: but I alone.  Wel. 
Learned Sir, will you bid my man come to me? and requesting a greater measure of your learning, good night, good Mr Roger.  Ro. 
Good Sir, peace be with you.  Exit Ro. Wel. 
adieu dear Domine. Half a dozen such in a Kingdom would make a man forswear confession: for who that had but half his wits about him would commit the counsel of a serious sin to such a cruel nightcap?  
Why how now, shall we have an antic?  Enter servant. 
Whose head do you carry upon your shoulders, that you jowl it so against the post? Is't for your ease? or have you seen the Seller? Where are my slippers sir?  Ser. 
Here Sir.  Wel. 
Where Sir? have you got the pot verdugo? have you seen the horse's Sir?  Ser. 
Yes Sir.  Wel. 
Have they any meat?  Ser. 
Faith Sir they have a kind of wholesome rushes, hay I cannot call it.  Wel. 
And no provender?  Ser. 
Sir so I take it.  Wel. 
You are merry Sir, and why so?  Ser. 
Faith Sir, here are no oats to be got, unless you'll have 'em in porridge: the people are so mainly given to spoonmeat: yonder's a cast of Coach-mares of the gentlewoman's, the strangest Cattle.  Wel. 
Why?  Ser. 
Why they are transparent sir, you may see through them: and such a house?  Wel. 
Come Sir, the truth of your discovery.  Ser. 
Sir they are in tribes like Jews: the Kitchen and the Dairy make one tribe, and have their faction and their fornication within themselves; the Buttery and the Laundry are another, and there's no love lost; the chambers are entire, and what's done there, is somewhat higher than my knowledge; but this I am sure, between these copulations, a stranger is kept virtuous, that is, fasting. But of all this the drink Sir.  Wel. 
What of that Sir?  Ser. 
Faith Sir I will handle it as the time and your patience will give me leave. This drink, or this cooling julep, of which three spoonfuls kills the Calenture, a pint breeds the cold Palsy.  Wel. 
Sir you bely the house.  Ser. 
I would I did Sir. But as I am a true man, if 'twere but one degree colder, nothing but an ass's hoof would hold it.  Wel. 
I am glad on't Sir: for if it had proved stronger, you had been tongue-tied of these commendations. Light me the candle Sir, I'll hear no more.  Exeunt. Enter Young Loveless and his Comrades, with wenches, and two fiddlers. Yo Lo. 

Come my brave man of war, trace out thy darling,  
And you my learned Council, set and turn boys  
Kiss till the Cow come home, kiss close, kiss close knave s.  
My modern Poet, thou shalt kiss in couplets. Ent. with wine.  
Strike up you merry varlets, and leave your peeping,  
This is no pay for Fiddlers.   Cap. 

O my dear boy, thy Hercules, thy Captain  
Makes thee his Hilas, his delight, his solace.  
Love thy brave man of war, and let thy bounty  
Clap him in chamois: Let there be deducted out of our main potation  
Five Marks in hatchments to adorn this thigh,  
Cramped with this rest of peace, and I will fight  
Thy battles.   Yo. Lo. 
Thou shalt have't boy, and sly in Feather, Lead on a march you mitchers.  Ent. Savill. Sa. 
O my head, O my heart, what a noise and change is here; would I had been cold i'th' mouth before this day, and near have lived to see this dissolution. He that lives within a mile of this place, had as good sleep in the perpetual noise of an iron mill. there's a dead Sea of drink i'th' cellar, in which goodly vessels lie wrecked, and in the middle of this deluge appears the tops of flagons and black jacks, like Churches drown i'th' marshes.  Yo. Lo. 
What art thou come? My sweet Sir Amias welcome to Troy. Come thou shalt kiss my Helen, and court her in a dance.  Sa. 
Good Sir consider.  Yo. Lo. 
Shall we consider gentlemen. How say you?  Cap. 
Consider? that were a simple toy i'faith, Consider? whose morals that? The man that cries Consider, is our foe: let my steel know him.  Yong. Lo. 
Stay thy dead doing hand, he must not die yet: prithee be calm my Hector.  Cap. 
Peasant, slave, thou groom, composed of grudgings, live and thank this Gentleman, thou hadst seen Pluto else. The next consider kills thee.  Tra. 
Let him drink down his word again in a gallon of Sack.  Po. 
'tis but a snuff, make it two gallons, and let him do it kneeling in repentance.  Sa. 
Nay rather kill me, there's but a lay-man lost. Good Captain do your office.  Yo. Lo. 
Thou shalt drink Steward, drink and dance my Steward. Strike him a hornpipe sqeakers, take thy striver, and pace her till she stew.  Sa. 
Sure Sir I cannot dance with your Gentlewoman, they are too light for me, pray break my head, and let me go.  Cap. 
He shall dance, he shall dance.  Young Lo. 
He shall dance, and drink, and be drunk and dance, and be drunk again, and shall see no meat in a year.  Po. 
And three quarters.  Yo. Lo. 
And three quarters be it.  Cap. 
Who knocks there? let him in.  Enter Eld. Loveless disguised. Sa. 
Some to deliver me I hope.  El. Lo. 
Gentlemen, God save you all, my business is to one Mr Lovelesse.  Cap. 
This is the Gentleman you mean; view him, and take his Inventory, he's a right one.  El. Lo. 
He promises no less Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Sir your business?  El. Lo. 
Sir, I should let you know, yet I am loath, yet I am sworn to't, would some other tongue would speak it for me.  Yo. Lo. 
Out with it a God's name.  El. Lo. 
All I desire Sir is, the patience and sufferance of a man, and good Sir be not moved more,  Yo. Lo. 
Then a pottle of Sack will do, here's my hand, prithee thy business?  El. Lo. 
Good Sir excuse me, and whatsoever you hear, think, must have been known unto you, and be yourself discreet; and bear it nobly.  Yong. Lo. 
Prithee dispatch me.  El. Lo. 
Your brother's dead Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Thou dost not mean dead drunk?  El. Lo. 
No, no, dead and drowned at sea Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Art sure he's dead?  El. Lo. 
Too sure Sir.  Yo. Lo 
ay, but art thou very certainly sure of it?  El. Lo. 
As sure Sir as I tell it.  Yo. Lo. 
But art thou sure he came not up again?  El. Lo. 
He may come up, but near to call you brother.  Yo. Lo. 
But art sure he had water enough to drown him?  Eld. Lo. 
Sure Sir he wanted none.  Young Lo. 
I would not have him want, I loved him better; here I forgive thee: and i'faith be plain, how do I bear it?  El. Lo. 
Very wisely Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Fill him some wine. Thou dost not see me moved, these transitory toys near trouble me, he's in a better place my friend, I know't. Some fellows would have cried now, and have cursed thee, and fallen out with their meat, and kept a pother; but all this helps not, he was too good for us, and let God keep him: there's the right use on't friend. Off with thy drink, thou hast a spice of sorrow makes thee dry: fill him another, Savill, your Masters dead, and who am I now Savill? Nay, let's all bear it well, wipe, Savill, wipe, tears are but thrown away: we shall have wenches now, shall we not Savill? Drink to my friend Captain.  Sa. 
Yes Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
And drink innumerable.  Sa. 
Yes forsooth Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
And you'll strain curtsy and be drunk a little.  Sa. 
I would be glad, Sir, to do my weak endeavour.  Yo. Lo. 
You may be brought in time to love a wench too.  Sa. 
In time the sturdy Oak Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Some more wine for my friend there.  El. Lo. 
I shall be drunk anon for my good news: but I have a loving brother, that's my comfort.  Yo. Lo. 
here's to you sir, this is the worst I wish you for your news: and if I had another elder brother, and say it were his chance to feed more fishes, I should be still the same you see me now, a poor contented Gentleman. More wine for my friend there, he's dry again.  El. Lo. 
I shall be if I follow this beginning. Well, my dear brother, if I scape this drowning, 'tis your turn next to sink, you shall duck twice before I help you. Sir I cannot drink more, pray let me have your pardon.  Yo. Lo. 
O Lord sir, 'tis your modesty: more wine, give him a bigger glass; hug him my Captain, thou shalt be my chief mourner.  Cap. 
And this my pennon. Sir a full rouse to you, and to my Lo. of Land here.  El. Lou. 
I feel a buzzing in my brains, pray God they bear this out, and I'll near trouble them so far again. here's to you Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
To my dear Steward, down a your knees you infidel, you Pagan; be drunk and penitent.  Sa. 
Forgive me Sir and i'll be any thing.  Yo. Lo. 
Then be a Bawd: I'll have thee a brave bawd.  El. Lo. 
Sir I must take my leave of you, my business is so urgent.  Yo. Lo: 
Let's have a bridling cast before you go. fills a new stoup.  El. Lo. 
I dare not Sir by no means.  Yo. Lo. 
Have you any mind to a wench? I would fain gratify you for the pains you took Sir.  El. Lo. 
As little as to the tother.  Yo. Lo. 
If you find any stirring, do but say so.  Eld. Lo. 
Sir you are too bounteous, when I find that itching, you shall assuage it Sir before another: this only, and farewell Sir. Your brother when the storm was most extreme, told all about him, he left a will, which lies close behind a chimney in the matted chamber: and so as well Sir, as you have made me able, I take my leave.  Yong. Lo. 
Let us embrace him all: if you grow dry before you end your business, pray take a bait here, I have a fresh hogshead for you.  Sa. 
You shall neither will nor choose sir. My Master is a wonderful fine Gentleman has a fine state, a very fine state Sir, I am his steward Sir, and his man.  El. Lo. 
Would you were your own Sir, as I left you. Well I must cast about, or all sinks.  Sa. 
Farewell Gentleman, Gentleman. Gentleman.  El. Lo. 
What would you with me Sir?  Sa. 
Farewell Gentleman.  El. Lo. 
O sleep Sir, sleep.  Ex. El. Lo. Yo. Lo. 
Well boys, you see what's fallen, let's in and drink, and give thanks for it.  Cap. 
Let's give thanks for't.  Yo Lo. 
Drunk as I live.  Sa. 
Drunk as I live boys.  Young Lo. 
Why now thou art able to discharge thine office, and cast up a reckoning of some weight; I will be knighted, for my state will bear it, 'tis sixteen hundred boys: off with your husks, I'll skin you all in satin.  Cap. 
O sweet Lovelesse!  Sa. 
All in satin? O sweet Lovelesse.  Yo. Lo. 
March in my Noble compeers: and this my Countess shall be led by two: and so proceed we to the will.  Exeunt. Enter Moorecraft the usurer, and Widow. Mo. 
And Widow, as I say be your own friend: your husband left you wealthy, I and wise, continue so sweet duck, continue so. Take heed of young smooth varlets, younger brothers, they are worms that will eat through your bags: they are very lightning, that with a slash or two will melt your money, and never sing your purse strings: they are colts, wench, colts, heady and dangerous, till we take 'em up, and make 'em fit for bonds; look upon me, I have had, and have yet matter of moment girl, matter of moment; you may meet with a worse back, I'll not commend it.  Wi. 
Nor I neither Sir.  Mo. 
Yet thus far by your favour widow, 'tis tough.  Wi. 
And therefore not for my diet, for I love a tender one.  Mo. 
Sweet widow leave your frumps, and be edified: you know my state, I sell no Perspectives, scarves, Gloves, nor Hangers, nor put my trust in shoe-ties: and where your husband in an age was rising by burnt figs, dredged with meal and powdered sugar, sanders and grains, wormseed and rotten reasons, and such vile tobacco, that made the footmen mangy; I in a year have put up hundreds enclosed, my widow, those pleasant meadows, by a forfeit mortgage: for which the poor Knight takes alone chamber, owes for his Ale, and dare nor beat his Hostess: nay more—  Wi. 
Good Sir no more, whate'er my husband was, I know what I am, and if you marry me, you must bear it bravely off Sir.  Mo. 
Not with the head, sweet widow.  Wi. 
No, sweet sir, but with your shoulders: I must have you dubbed, for under that I will stoop a feather. My husband was a fellow loved to toil, feed ill, made gain his exercise, and so grew costive, which for I was his wife, and gave way to, and spun mine own smock's course, and sir, so little; but let that pass. Time, that wears all things out, wore out this husband, who in penitence of such fruitless five years marriage, left me great with his wealth, which if you'll be á worthy gossip to, be knighted Sir.  Enter Savill. Mo. 
Now sir, from whom come you? whose man are you Sir?  Sa. 
Sir, I come from young Mr Lovelesse.  Mo. 
Be silent sir, I have no money, not a penny for you, he's sunk, your Master's sunk, a perished man sir.  Sa. 
Indeed his brother's sunk Sir, God be with him, a perished man indeed, and drowned at Sea.  Mo. 
How saidst thou, good my friend, his brother drowned?  Sa. 
Untimely, Sir, at sea.  Mo. 
And thy young Master left sole heir?  Sa. 
Yes, Sir.  Mo. 
And he wants money?  Sa. 
Yes, and sent me to you; for he is now to be knighted.  Mo. 
Widow, be wise, there's more land coming, widow be very wise, and give thanks for me widow.  Wi. 
Be you very wise, and be knighted, and then give thanks for me Sir.  Sa. 
What says your Worship to this money?  Mo. 
I say, he may have money if he please.  Sa. 
A thousand Sir?  Mo. 
A thousand Sir, provided any wise Sir, his land lie for the payment, otherwise—  Enter Young Loveless and Comrades to them. Sa. 
he's here himself Sir, and can better tell you.  Mo. 
My notable dear friend, and worthy Mr Lovelesse, and now right worshipful, all joy and welcome.  Yo. Lo. 
Thanks to my dear encloser, Mr Moorecraft; prithee old Angel gold, salute my family, I'll do as much for yours; this, and your own desires, fair Gentlewoman.  Wi. 
And yours Sir, if you mean well; 'tis a handsome Gentleman.  Yo. Lo. 
Sirrah, my brother's dead.  Mo. 
Dead?  Young Lo. 
Dead, and by this time soused for Ember week.  Mo. 
Dead?  Yo. Lo. 
Drowned, drowned at sea: Man, by the next fresh Conger that comes we shall hear more.  Mo. 
Now by the faith of my body it moves me much.  Yo. Lo. 
What, wilt thou be an Ass, and weep for the dead? why I thought nothing but a general inundation would have moved thee: prithee be quiet, he hath left his land behind him.  Mo. 
O, has he so?  Yo. Lo. 
Yes faith, I thank him for't, I have all boy, hast any ready money?  Mo. 
Will you sell Sir?  Yo. Lo. 
No not outright good Gripe; marry, a mortgage, or such a slight security.  Mo. 
I have no money Sir for mortgage; If you will sell, and all or none, I'll work a new Mine for you.  Sa. 
Good Sir look afore you, he'll work you out of all else: if you sell all your Land, you have sold your Country, and than you must to sea to seek your brother, and there lie pickled in a powdering tub, and break your teeth with biscuits and hard beef that must have watering Sir: and where's your 300. pounds a year in drink then? If you're tun up the straits you may, for you have no calling for drink there, but with a Cannon, nor no scoring but on your ships sides, and then if you scape with life, and take a faggot boat, and a bottle of Usquebaugh, come home poor men, like a type of themes Street stinking of pitch and poor john. I cannot tell Sir, I would be loath to see it.  Cap. 
steward, you are an Ass, a measled apparel, and were it not again the peace of my sovereign friend here, I would break your forecasting coxcomb, dog I would, even with thy staff of office there, thy pen and Inkhorn. Noble boy, the god of gold here has said thee well, take money for thy dirt: hark & believe, thou art cold of constitution, thy seat unhealthful, sell & be wise; we are three that will adorn thee, and live according to thine own heart child: mirth shall be only ours, and only ours shall be the black eyed beauties of the time. Money makes men eternal.  Po. 
Do what you will, 'tis the noblest course, than you may live without the charge of people, only we four will make a family, I and an age that shall beget new Annals, in which I'll write thy life my son of pleasure, equal with Nero or Caligula.  Yo. Lo. 
What mean they Captain?  Cap. 
Two roaring boys of Rome that made all split.  Yo. Lo. 
Come Sir, what dare you give?  Sa. 
You will not sell Sir?  Yo. Lo. 
Who told you so Sir?  Sa. 
Good Sir have a care.  Yo. Lo. 
Peace, or I'll tack your tongue up to your roof. What money? speak.  Mo. 
six thousand pound Sir.  Cap. 
Take it, h'as overbidden by the Sun: bind him to his bargain quickly.  Yo. Lo. 
Come, strike me luck with earnest, and draw the writings.  Mo. 
There's a God's penny for thee.  Sa. 
Sir, for my old Master's sake let my Farm be excepted, if I become his tenant I am undone, my children beggars, and my wife God knows what: consider me dear Sir.  Mo. 
I'll have all in or none.  Yo. Lo. 
All in, all in: dispatch the writings.  Ex. with Comr. Wi. 
Go, thou art a pretty forehanded fellow, would thou wert wiser.  Sa. 
Now do I sensibly begin to feel myself a rascal: would I could teach a School, or beg, or lie well, I am utterly undone; now he that taught thee to deceive and x, take thee to his mercy: so be it.  Exit Savill. Mo. 
Come widow, come, never stand upon a knighthood, 'tis a mere paper honour, and not proof enough for a Sergeant. Come, come, I'll make thee—  Wi. 
To answer in short, 'tis this Sir, No knight, no widow: if you make me any thing, it must be a Lady; and so I take my leave.  Mo. 
Farewell sweet widow, and think of it.  Exit Wid. Wi. 
Sir I do more than think of it, it makes me dream sir.  Mo. 
she's rich and sober, if this itch were from her: and say I be at charge to pay the Footmen, and the Trumpet, I and the Horsemen too, and be a Knight, and she refuse me then: then am I hoist into the Subsidy, and so by consequence should prove a Coxcomb: I'll have a care of that. six thousand pound, and then the Land is mine, there's some refreshing yet.  Exit. 
Finis Actus secundi.    

Actus 3.  

Scaena prima.  Enter Abigall. Abi. 
IF he but follow me, as all my hopes tells me he's man enough, up goes my rest, and I know I shall draw him.  Enter Welford. Wel. 
This is the strangest pampered piece of flesh towards fifty, that ever frailty coped withal, what a trim lenvoy here she has put upon me: these women are a proud kind of cattle, and love this whoreson doing so directly, that they will not stick to make their very skins Bawds to their flesh. Here's dogskin and storax sufficient to kill a Hawk: what to do with it, beside nailing it up amongst Irish heads of Teere, to show the mightiness of her palm, I know not: there she is, I must enter into Dialogue. Lady you have lost your glove.  Abi. 
Not Sir if you have found it.  Wel. 
It was my meaning Lady to restore it.  Abi. 
'Twill be uncivil in me to take back a favour, Fortune hath so well bestowed Sir, pray wear it for me.  Wel. 
I had rather wear a Bell. But hark you Mistress, What hidden virtue is there in this glove, that you would have me wear it? Is't good against sore eyes, or will it charm the toothache? Or these red tops, being steeped in white wine soluble, will't kill the itch? or h'as it so concealed a providence to keep my hand from bonds? If it have none of these, and prove no more but a bare glove of half a crown a pair, 'twill be but half a courtesy, I wear two always: faith let's draw cuts, one will do me no pleasure.  Abi. 
The tenderness of his years keeps him as yet in ignorance: he's a well moulded fellow, and I wonder his blood should stir no higher; but 'tis his want of company: I must grow nearer to him.  Enter El. Loveless disguised. El. Lo. 
God save you both.  Abi. 
And pardon you Sir: this is somewhat rude, how came you hither?  El. Lo. 
Why through the doors, they are open.  Wel. 
What are you? and what business have you here?  El Lo. 
More I believe than you have.  Abi. 
Who would this fellow speak with? Art thou sober?  Eld. Lo 
Yes, I come not here to sleep.  Wel. 
Prithee what art thou?  El. Lo. 
As much (gay man) as thou art, I am a Gentleman.  Wel. 
Art thou no more?  El Lo. 
Yes, more than thou dar'st be, a Soldier.  Abi. 
Thou dost not come to quarrel?  El. Lo. 
No, not with women; I come to speak here with a Gentlewoman.  Abi. 
Why I am one.  El. Lo. 
But not with one so gentle.  Wel. 
This is a fine fellow.  El. Lo. 
Sir I am not fine yet, I am but new come over, direct me with your ticket to your tailor, and then I shall be fine Sir. Lady, if there be a better of your sex within this house, say I would see her.  Abi. 
Why am not I good enough for you Sir?  El. Lo. 
Your way you'll be too good, pray end my business. This is another Suitor: O frail woman.  Wel. 
This fellow with his bluntness hopes to do more than the long suits of a thousand could: though he be sour he's quick I must not trust him. Sir, this Lady is not to speak with you, she is more serious: you smell as if you were new ralkt; go and be handsome, and than you may sit with her servingmen.  El. Lo. 
What are you Sir?  Wel. 
Guess by my outside.  El. Lo. 
Then I take you Sir for some new silken thing weaned from the country, that shall (when you come to keep good company) be beaten into better manners. Pray good proud Gentlewoman help me to your Mistress.  Abi. 
How many lives hast thou, that thou talk'st thus rudely?  El Lo. 
But one, I am neither cat nor woman.  Wel. 
And will that one life Sir maintain you ever in such bold sauciness?  El. Lo. 
Yes amongst a nation of such men as you are, and be no worse for wearing Shall I speak with this Lady?  Abi. 
No by my troth shall not you.  El. Lo. 
I must stay here then.  Wel. 
That you shall not neither.  El. Lo. 
Good fine thing tell me why.  Wel. 

Good angry thing I'll tell you:  
This is no place for such companions,  
Such lousy Gentlemen shall find their business  
Better i'th' the Suburbs; there your strong pitch presume,  
Mingled with lees of Ale, shall reek in fashion:  
This is no Thames street Sir.   Abi. 

This Gentleman informs you truly:  
Prithee be satisfied, and seek the Suburbs,  
Good Captain, or whatever title else,  
The warlike Eelboats have bestowed upon thee,  
Go and reform thyself: prithee be sweeter,  
And know my Lady speaks with no such swabbers.   El. Lo. 

You cannot talk me out with your tradition  
Of wit you pick from plays, go too, I have found ye:  
And for you, tender Sir, whose gentle blood  
Runs in your nose, and makes you snuff at all  
But three piled people, I do let you know,  
He that be got your worship's satin suit,  
Can make no men Sir: I will see this Lady,  
And with the reverence of your silkenship,  
In these old Ornaments.   Wel. 
You will not sure.  El. Lo. 
Sure Sir I shall.  Abi. 
You would be beaten out.  El. Lo. 

Indeed I would not, or if I would beaten,  
Pray who shall beat me? this good Gentleman  
Looks as he were o'th' peace.   Wel. 
Sir you shall see that: will you get you out?  El. Lo. 

Yes, that, that shall correct your boy's tongue,  
Dare you fight? I will stay here still.   Abi. 

O their things are out, help, help for God's sake,  
Madam; jesus they foin at one another,  
Madam, why who is within there? Enter Lady.   La. 
Who breeds this rudeness?  Wel. 

This uncivil fellow:  
He says he comes from sea, where I believe  
H'as purged away his manners.   La. 
What of him?  Wel. 

Why he will rudely, without once God bless you,  
Press to your privacies, and no denial  
Must stand betwixt your person and his business;  
I let go his ill language.   La. 
Sir, have you business with me?  El. Lou. 

madam some I have,  
But not so serious to pawn my life for't:  
If you keep this quarter, and maintain about you  
Such Knights o'th' Sun as this is, to defy  
Men of employment to ye, you may live,  
But in what some?   La. 
Pray stay Sir, who h'as wronged you?  Eld. Lo. 

Wrong me he cannot, though uncivilly  
He flung his wild words at me: But to you  
I think he did no honour, to deny  
The haste I come withal, a passage to you,  
Though I seem course.   La. 

Excuse me, gentle sir, 'twas from my knowledge,  
And shall have no protection. And to you Sir,  
You have showed more heat than wit, and from yourself  
Have borrowed power, I never gave you here,  
To do these wild unmanly things: my house  
Is no blind street to swagger in: and my favours  
Not doting yet on your unknown deserts  
So far, that I should make you Master of my business:  
My credit yet, stands fairer with the people  
Then to be tried with swords: And they that come  
To do me service, must not think to win me  
With hazard of a murder: If your love  
Consist in fury, carry it to the Camp,  
And there in honour of some common mistress,  
Shorten your youth. I pray be better tempered,  
And give me leave a while Sir.   Wel. 
You must have it.  Exit Welford. La. 
Now Sir, your business?  El. Lo. 

First I thank you for schooling this young fellow,  
Whom his own follies, which is prone enough  
Daily to fall into, if you but frown,  
Shall level him away to his repentance:  
Next I should rail at you, but you are a woman,  
And anger lost upon you.   La. 

Why at me Sir?  
I never did you wrong, for to my knowledge  
This is the first sight of you.   El. Lo. 

You have done that,  
I must confess I have the least curse in,  
Because the least acquaintance: But there be  
(If there be honour in the minds of men)  
Thousands, when they shall know what I deliver,  
(As all good men must share in't) will to shame  
Blast your black memory.   La. 
How is this good Sir?  El. Lo. 

'tis that, that if you have a soul will choke it:  
Y'ave killed a Gentleman:   La. 
I killed a Gentleman?  El. Lo. 

You and your cruelty have killed him woman;  
And such a man (let me be angry in't)  
Whose least worth weighed above all women's virtues  
That are, I spare you all to come too: guess him now.   La. 
I am so innocent I cannot Sir.  El. Lo. 

Repent you mean: you are a perfect woman,  
And as the first was, made for man's undoing.   La. 
Sir you have missed your way, I am not she.  El Lo. 

Would he had missed his way too, though he had  
Wandered farther than women are ill spoken of,  
So he had missed this misery, you Lady.   La 
How do you do Sir?  El. Lo. 

Well enough I hope,  
While I can keep myself from such temptations.   La. 
Pray leap into this matter, whither would ye?  El. Lo. 

You had a Servant that your peevishness  
Enjoined to travel.   La. 

Such a one I have  
Still, and should be grieved 'twere otherwise.   El. Lo. 

Then have your asking, and be grieved, he's dead;  
How you will answer for his worth I know not,  
But this I am sure, either he, or you, or both  
Were stark mad, else he might have lived  
To have given a stronger testimony toth' world  
Of what he might have been. He was a man  
I knew but in his evening: ten Suns after,  
forced by a tyrant storm our beaten bark  
Bulged under us; in which sad parting blow,  
He called upon his Saint, but not for life,  
On you unhappy woman; and whilst all  
Sought to preserve their souls, he desperately  
Embraced a wave, crying to all that see it,  
If any live, go to my Fate, that forced me  
To this untimely end, and make her happy:  
His name was Lovelesse: And I 'scaped the storm.  
And now you have my business.   La. 

'tis too much.  
Would I had been that storm, he had not perished.  
If you'll rail now I will forgive you Sir,  
Or if you'll call in more, if any more  
Come from this ruin, I shall justly suffer  
What they can say: I do confess myself  
A guilty cause in this. I would say more,  
But grief is grown too great to be delivered.   El. Lo. 

I like this well: these women are strange things.  
'tis somewhat of the latest now to weep,  
You should have wept when he was going from you,  
And chained him with those tears at home.   La. 
Would you had told me then so, these two arms had been his Sea.  Eld. Lo. 
Trust me you move me much: but say he lived, these were forgotten things again.  La. 
ay, say you so? Sure I should know that voice: this is knavery. I'll fit you for it: Were he living sir, I would persuade you to be charitable, ay, and confess we are not all so ill as your opinion holds us. O my friend, what penance shall I pull upon my fault, upon my most unworthy self for this?  El. Lo. 

Leave to love others, 'twas some jealousy  
That turned him desperate.   La. 
I'll be with you straight: are you wrung there?  El. Lo. 
This works amain upon her.  La. 

I doc confess there is a Gentleman  
H'as borne me long good will.   E. Lo. 
I do not like that.  La. 
And vowed a thousand services to me; to me, regardless of him: But since Fate, that no power can withstand, h'as taken from me my first and best Love, and to weep away my youth is a mere folly: I will show you what I determine sir: you shall know all: Call Mr. Welford there: That Gentleman I mean to make the model of my Fortunes, and in his chaste embraces keep alive the memory of my lost lovely Lovelesse: he is somewhat like him too.  El. Lo. 
Then you can Love?  La. 
Yes certain sir.  

Though it please you to think me hard and cruel,  
I hope I shall persuade you otherwise.   El. Lo. 
I have made myself a fine fool.  Ent. Welford. Wel. 
Would you have spoke with me madam?  La. 
Yes Mr. Welford, and I ask your pardon before this gentleman, for being froward: This kiss, and henceforth more affection.  El. Lo. 
So, 'tis better I were drowned indeed.  Wel. 

This is a sudden passion, God hold it.  
This fellow out of his fear sure has  
Persuaded her, I'll give him a new suit on't.   La. 

A parting kiss: and good Sir let me pray you  
To wait me in the Gallery.   Wel. 
I am in another world. madam where you please.  Ex. W. El. Lo 
I will to Sea, an't shall go hard but I'll be drowned indeed.  La. 

Now Sir you see I am no such hard creature,  
But time may win me.   El Lo. 
You have forgot your lost Love,  La 
Alas Sir, what would you have me do? I cannot call him back again with sorrow; I'll love this man as dearly, and beshrew me, I'll keep him far enough from sea: and 'twas told me, now I remember me, by an old wise woman, that my first Love should be drowned: and see 'tis come about.  El Lo. 
I would she had told you your second should be hanged to, and let that Come about: but this is very strange.  La. 
Faith Sir, consider all, and then I know you'll be of my mind: if weeping would redeem him, I would weep still.  El Lo. 

But say that I were Lovelesse,  
And 'scaped the storm, how would you answer this?   La. 
Why for that Gentleman I would leave all the world.  El. Lo. 
This young thing too?  La 

That young thing too,  
Or any young thing else: why I would lose my stare.   El. Lo. 
Why then he lives still, I am he, your Lovelesse.  La. 
A as I knew it Sir, and for that purpose prepared this Pageant: get you to your task. And leave these player's tricks, or I shall leave you, indeed I shall. Travel, or know me not.  El. Lo. 
Will you then marry?  La. 
I will not promise, take your choice. Farewell.  El. Lo. 

There is no other Purgatory but a woman.  
I must do something.   Exit Loveless. Wel. 
Mistress I am bold.  Enter Welford. La. 
You are indeed.  Wel. 
You have so overjoyed me Lady.  La. 
Take heed you surfeit not, pray fast and welcome.  Wel. 
By this light you love me extremely.  La 
By this, and tomorrow's light, I care not for you.  Wel. 
Come, come, you cannot hide it.  La. 
Indeed I can, there you shall never find it.  Wel. 
I like this mirth well Lady  La. 
You shall have more on't.  Wel. 
I must kiss you.  La 
No fir.  Wel. 
Indeed I must.  La. 
What must be, must be; I'll take my leave, you have your parting blow: I pray commend me to those few friends you have, that sent you hither, and tell them, when you travel next, 'twere fit you brought less bravery with you, and more wit, you'll never get a wise else.  Wel. 
Are you in earnest?  La. 
Yes faith. will you eat sir? your horses will be ready straight, you shall have a napkin laid in the buttery for ye.  Wel. 
Do not you love me then?  La. 
Yes, for that face.  Wel. 
It is a good one Lady.  La. 
Yes, if it were not warped, the fire in time may mend it.  Wel. 
methinks yours is none of the best Lady.  La. 

No by my troth Sir: yet o'my conscience,  
You could make shift with it.   Wel. 
Come, pray no more of this.  La. 
I will not: Fare you well. Ho, who's within there? bring out the Gentleman's horses, he's in haste; and set some cold meat on the table.  Wel. 
I have too much of that, I thank you Lady: take your Chamber when you please, there goes a black one with you Lady.  La. 
Farewell young man.  Exit Lady. Wel. 
You have made me one. Farewell: and may the curse of a great house fall upon thee, I mean the Butler. The Devil and all his works are in these women: would all of my sex were of my mind, I would make 'em a new Lent, and a long one, that flesh might be in more reverence with them.  Enter Abigall to him. Abi. 
I am sorry Mr. Welford.  Wel. 
So am I, that you are here.  Abi. 
How does my Lady use you?  well 
As I would use you, scurvily.  Abi. 
I should have been more kind Sir.  Wel. 
I should have been undone then. Pray leave me, and look to your sweet meats: hark, your Lady calls.  Abi. 
Sir I shall borrow so much time without offending.  Wel. 
You're nothing but offence: for God's love leave me.  Abi. 
'tis strange my Lady should be such a tyrant.  Wel. 
To send you to me. Pray go stitch, good do, you're more trouble to me then a Term.  Abi. 
I do not know how my good will, if I said love I lied not, should any way deserve this.  Wel. 
A thousand ways, a thousand ways: sweet creature let me depart in peace.  Abi. 
What creature Sir? I hope I am a woman.  Wel. 
A hundred I think by your noise.  Abi. 
Since you are angry sir, I am bold to tell you, that I am a woman, and a rib.  Wel. 
Of a roasted horse.  Abi. 
Construe me that.  Wel. 
A Dog can do it better. Farewell Countess, and commend me to your Lady: tell her she's proud, and scurvy; and so I commit you both to your tempter.  Abi. 
Sweet Mr. Welford.  Wel. 
Avoid old Satanus: Go daub your ruins, your face looks fouler than a storm: the footman stays you in the Lobby Lady.  Abi. 
If you were a Gentleman I should know it by your gentle conditions? are these fit words to give a gentlewoman?  Wel. 
As fit as they were made for ye: Sirrah, my horses. Farewell old Adage, keep your nose warm, the rheum will make it horn else.  Ex. Wel. Abi. 
The blessings of a prodigal young heir be thy companions Welford, Marry come up my gentleman, are your gums grown so tender they cannot bite? A skittish Filly will be your fortune Welford, and fair enough for such a packsaddle. And I doubt not, (if my aim hold) to see her made too amable to your hand.  Ex. Abigal. Enter Yo. Loveless and Comrades, Moorcraft, Widow, Savil, and the rest. Cap. 
Save thy brave shoulder, my young puissant Knight, and may thy backsword bite them to the bone, that love thee not: thou art an errant man, go on. The circumcised shall fall by thee Let land and labour fill the man that tills, thy sword must be thy plough, and jove it speed. Mecha shall sweat, and Mahomet shall fall, and thy dear name fill up his monument.  Yo. Lo. 
It shall Captain, I mean to be a worthy.  Cap. 
One worthy is too little, thou shalt be all.  Mo. 
Captain I shall deserve some of your love too.  Cap. 
Thou shalt have heart and hand to noble Moorecraft, if thou wilt lend me money. I am a man of Garrison, be ruled, and open to me those infernal gates, whence none of thy evil angels pass again, and I will style thee Noble; nay Don Diego, I'll woe thy Infanta for thee, and my Knight shall feast her with high meats, and make her apt.  Mo. 
Pardon me Captain, you're beside my meaning.  Yo Lo. 

No Mr. Moorecraft, 'tis the captains meaning  
I should prepare her for ye.   Cap. 
Or provoke her. Speak my modern man, I say provoke her.  Po. 
Captain I say so too, or stir her to it. So says the Critics.  Yo. Lo. 
But howsoever you expound it Sir, she's very welcome, and this shall serve for witness. And widow, since you're come so happily, you shall deliver up the keys, and free possession of this house; whilst I stand by to ratify.  Wi. 

I had rather give it back again believe me,  
'Tis a misery to say you had it. Take heed.   Yo. Lo. 
'Tis past that widow, come, sit down; some wine there: there is a scurvy banquet if we had it. All this fair house is yours Sir. Savill.  Sa. 
Yes Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
Are your keys ready, I must ease your burden.  Sa. 
I am ready Sir to be undone, when you shall call me to't.  Yo. Lo. 
Come come, thou shalt live better.  Sa. 
I shall have less to do, that's all, there's half a dozen of my friends i'th' fields, sunning against a bank, with half a breech among 'em, I shall be with 'em shortly. The care and continual vexation of being rich eat up this rascal. What shall become of my poor family? they are no sheep, and they must keep themselves.  Yo. Lo. 

Drink Mr. Moorecraft, pray be merry all:  
Nay and you will not drink there's no society.  
Captain speak loud, and drink: widow a word.   Cap. 
Expound her thoroughly Knight. Here God a gold, here's to thy fair possessions: be a baron, and a bold one: leave off your tickling of young heirs like trouts, and, let thy attorneys smoke. Feed men of war, live and be honest, and be saved yet.  Mo. 
I thank you worthy Captain for your counsel. You keep your attorneys smoking there, your nostrils, and when you can, you feed a man of war: this makes not you a baron, but a bare-one: and how or when you shall be saved, let the clerk o'th' company (you have commanded) have a just care of.  Poet. 
The man is much is much moved. Be not angry Sir, but as the Poet sings; Let your displeasure be a short fury, and go out. You have spoke home, and bitterly, to me Sir? Captain take truce the Miser is a tart and a witty whoreson.  Cap. 
Poet you feign perdie, the wit-of this man lies in his finger's ends, he must tell all: his tongue fills but his mouth like a neatstongue, and only serves to lick his hungry chaps after a purchase: his brains and brimstone are the devils diet to a fat usurers head. To her Knight, to her: clap her aboard and stow her. Where's the brave Steward?  Sa. 
Here's your poor friend, and Savil Sir.  Cap. 
A way, thouart rich in ornaments of nature. First in thy face, thou hast a serious face, a betting, bargaining, and saving face, a rich face, pawn it to the Usurer; a face to kindle the compassion of the most ignorant and frozen justice.  Sa. 
'Tis such, I dare not show it shortly sir.  Cap. 
By blithe and bonny Steward: Master Moorecraft, Drink to this man of reckoning.  Mo. 
here's e'en to him.  Sa. 
The Devil guide it downward: would there were in't an acre of the great broom field he bought, to sweep your dirty conscience, or to choke ye, 'tis all one to me Usurer.  Yong. Lo. 
Consider what I told you, you are young, unapt for worldly business: Is it fit one of such tenderness, so delicate, so contrary to things of care, should stir and break her better meditations, in the bare brokage of a brace of Angels? or a new kirtle, though it be of satin? Eat by the hope of surfeits, and lie down only in expectation of a morrow that may undo some easy hearted fool, or reach a widows curses? Let out money, whose use returns the principal? and get out of these troubles, a consuming heir: For such a one must follow necessary, you shall die hated, if not old and miserable; and that possessed wealth that you got with pining, live to see tumbled to another's hands, that is no more akin to you, than you to his cozenage.  Wi. 
Sir you speak well, would God that charity had first begun here.  Yo. Lo. 
'tis yet time. Be merry, methinks you want wine there, there's more i'th' house: Captain, where rests the health?  Cap. 
It shall go round boy?  Yo. Lo 
Say you can suffer this, because the end points at much profit, can you so far bow below your blood, below your too much beauty, to be a partner of this fellows bed, and lie with his diseases? If you can, I will not press you further: yet look upon him: there's nothing in that hidebound Usurer; that man of mat, that all decayed, but aches: for you to love, unless his perished lungs his dry cough, or his scurvy. This is truth, and so far I dare speak yet: he has yet passed cure of Physic, spa, or any diet, a primative pox in his bones; and o' my knowledge he has been ten times rowelled: ye may love him; he had a bastard, his own toward issue, whipped, and then cropped for washing out the roses, in three farthings to make 'em pence.  Wi 
I do not like these Morals.  Yo Lo. 
You must not like him then.  Ent. Eld. Loveless. Elder Lo. 
By your leave Gentlemen.  Yo. Lo. 
By my troth Sir you are welcome, welcome faith: Lord what a stranger you are grown; pray know this Gentlewoman, and if you please these friends here: We are merry, you see the worst on's: your house has been kept warm Sir:  El. Lo. 
I am glad to hear it brother, pray God you are wise too.  Yo. Lo. 
Pray Mr. Moorecraft know my elder brother, and Captain do your complement. Savil, I dare swear is glad at heart to see you: Lord, we heard Sir you were drowned at Sea, and see how luckily things come about?  Mo. 
This money must be paid again Sir?  Yo L. oh 
No Sir, pray keep the sale, 'twill make good tailors measures? I am well I thank you.  Wi. 
By my troth the Gentleman has stewed him in his own sauce, I shall love him for't.  Sa 
I know not where I am, I am so glad: your worship is the welcom'st man alive; upon my knees I bid you welcome home: here has been such a hurry, such a din, such dismal drinking, swearing, and whoring, 'thas almost made me mad: We have all hued in a continual Turnbull street; Sir blessed be Heaven, that sent you safe again. Now shall I eat and go to bed again.  El Lo 
Brother dismiss these people.  Young L. 
Captain be gone a while, meet me at my old Rendezvous in the evening, take your small Poet with you Mr. Moorecraft, you were best go prattle with your learned Counsel, I shall preserve your money. I was cozened when time was, we are quit Sir.  Wi. 
Better and better still:  Yo. Lo. 
What is this fellow brother?  Yo. Lo. 
The thirsty Usurer that supped my Land off:  El. Lo. 
What does he tarry for?  Yo. Lo. 
Sir to b Landlord of your house and state: I was hold to make a little sale Sir.  Mo. 
Am I overreached? if there be law, I'll hamper ye.  El. Lo. 
Prithee be gone, and rail at home, thou art so base a fool I cannot laugh at thee: sirrah, this comes of cozening, home and spare, care red till you raise your sums again. If you stir far in this, I'll have you whipped, your ears nailed for intelligencing, o'th' pillory, and your goods forfeit: you are a stale Cozener, leave my house: no more.  Mo. 
A pox upon your house. Come Widow, I shall yet hamper this young gamester.  Wi 
Good twelve i'th' hundred keep your way, I am not for your diet: marry in your own Tribe jow, and get a break.  Yo. Lo. 
'tis well said widow: will you jog on Sir?  Mo. 

Yes, I will go, but 'tis no matter whither:  
But when I trust a wild fool, and a woman,  
May I lend gratis, and build Hospitals.   Yo Lo. 
Nay good sir make all even, here's a widow wants your good word for me: she's rich, and may renew me & my Fortunes.  El. Lo. 
I am glad you look before you. Gentlewoman, here is a poor distressed younger brother.  Wi. 
You do him wrong Sir, he's a Knight.  El. Lo. 
I ask your mercy: yet 'tis no matter, his Knighthood is no inheritance I take it: whatsoever he is, he's your servant, or would be Lady. Faith be not merciless, but make a man; he's young and handsome, though he be my brother, and his observances may deserve your love: he shall not fall for means.  Wi. 
Sir, you speak like a worthy brother: and so much I do credit your fair language, that I shall love your brother: and so love him, but I shall blush to say more.  El. Lo. 
Stop her mouth. I hope you shall not live to know that hour when this shall be repented. Now brother I should chide, but I'll give no distaste to your fair Mistress, I will instruct her in't, and she shall do't: you have been wild, and ignorant, pray mend it.  Yo. Lo. 
Sir every day now spring comes on.  El. Lo. 
To you, good Mr. Savill, and your Office, thus much I have to say: You're from my Steward become, first your own Drunkard, than his Bawd: they say you're excellent grown in both, and perfect: give me your keys Sir Savill.  Sa. 
Good Sir consider who you left me too.  El. Lo. 
I left you as a curb for, not to provoke my brother's follies: Where's the best drink now? come, tell me Savill: where's the soundest whores? Ye old he Goat, ye dried Ape, ye lame stallion, must you be leading in my house your whores, like Fairies dance their night rounds, without fear either of King or Constable, within my walls? Are all my Hangings safe? my sheep unsold yet? I hope my Plate is currant, I ha' too much on't. What say you to 300. pounds in drink now?  Sa. 
Good Sir forgive me, and but hear me speak.  El. Lo. 
methinks thou shouldst be drunk still, and not speak, 'tis the more pardonable.  Sa. 
I will sir, if you will have it so.  El. Lo. 
I thank ye; yes e'en pursue it Sir: do you hear? get a whore soon for your recreation: go loose out Captain Brokenbreech your fellow, and quarrel, if you dare: I shall deliver these keys to one shall have more honesty, though not so much fine wit Sir. Ye may walk and gather Cresses sir to cool your liver; there's something for you to begin a diet, you'll have the pox else. Speed you well, Sir Savill: you may eat at my house to preserve life; but keep no fornications in the stables.  Ex. omnes pre. Savill. Sa. 
Now must I hang myself, my friends will look for't. Eating and sleeping, I do despise you both now: I will run mad first, and if that get not pity, I'll drown myself, to a most dismal ditty. Exit Savill.  
Finis Actus tertij.    

Actus 4.  

Scaena prima.  Enter Abigall solus. Abi. 
A Lass poor Gentlewoman, to what a misery hath age brought thee to? to what scurvy Fortune? thou that hast been a companion for Noble men, & at the worst of those times for Gentlemen: now like a broken Servingman, must beg for favour to those that would have crawled like Pilgrims to my chamber, but for an apparition of me: you that be coming on, make much of fifteen, and so till five and twenty: use your time with reverence, that your profit may arise: it will not tarry with you Ecce signum: here was a face, but time that like a sunset eats our youth, plague of his Iron teeth, and draw 'em for't, h'as been a little bolder here then welcome: and now to say the truth I am fit for no man. Old men i'th' house, of fifty, call me Granam; and when they are drunk, e'en then, when Joan and my Lady are all one, not one will do me reason. My little Levite hath forsaken me, his silver sound of cithern quite abolished, his doleful hymns under my chamber window, digested into tedious learning: well fool, you leapt a Haddock when you left him: he's a clean man, & a good Edifier, & twenty nobles is his state de Claro, besides his pigs in posse. To this good Homilist I have been ever stubborn, which God forgive me for, and mend my manners: and Love, if ever thou hadst care of forty, of such a piece of lap ground, hear my prayer, and fire his zeal so far forth that my faults, in this renewed impression of my love, may show corrected to our gentle Reader. Enter Roger.  
See how neglectingly he passes by me: with what an Equipage Canonical, as though he had broke the heart of Bellarmine, or added some thing to the singing Brethren. 'tis scorn, I know it, and deserve it. Mr. Rogor.  Ro. 
Fair Gentlewoman, my name is Roger.  Abi. 
Then gentle Roger.  Ro. 
Ungentle Abigall.  Abi. 
Why Mr. Roger will you set your wit to a weak woman's.  Ro. 
You are weak indeed: for so the Poet sings.  Abi. 
I do confess my weakness sweet Sir Roger.  Ro. 
Good my Lady's Gentlewoman, or my good lady's Gentlewoman (this trope is lost to you now) leave your prating, you have a season of your first Mother in ye: and surely had the devil been in love, he had been abused too, go Dalida; you make men fools, and wear fig breeches.  Abi. 
Well, well, hard hearted man; dilate upon the weak infirmities of women: these are fit texts: but once there was a time, would I had never seen those eyes, those eyes, those orient eyes.  Ro. 
I they were pearls once with you.  Abi. 
Saving your reverence Sir, so they are still.  Ro. 
Nay, nay, I do beseech you leave your cogging, what they ate, they are, they serve me without Spectacles I thank 'em,  Abi. 
O will you kill me?  Ro. 

I do not think I can,  
You're like a Copyhold with nine lives in't.   Abi. 

You were wont to bear a Christian fear about you:  
For your own worship's sake.   Ro. 
I was a Christian fool then: Do you remember what a dance you led me? how I grew quaumed in love, and was a dunce? could expound but once a quarter, & then was out too: and then at prayers once (out of the stinking stir you put me in) I prayed for mine own royal issue. You do remember all this?  Abi. 
O be as then you were.  Ro. 
I thank you for it; surely I will be wiser Abigall: and as the Ethnic Poet sings, I will not lose my oil and labour too. You're for the worshipful I take it Abigall.  Abi. 
O take it so, and then I am for thee.  Ro. 
I like these tears well, and this humbling also, they are Symptoms of contrition, as a Father saith. If I should fall into my fit again, would you not shake me into a quotidian Coxcomb? Would you not use me scurvily again, and give me possets with purging comsets in't? I tell thee Gentlewoman, thou hast been harder to me then a long chapter with a pedigree.  Abi. 
O Curate cure me: I will love thee better, dearer, longer, I will do anything, betray the secrets of the main household to thy reformation. My Lady shall look lovely on thy learning; and when true time shall point thee for a Parson, I will invert thy eggs to penny custards, and thy tithe goose shall graze and multiply.  Ro. 
I am mollified: as well shall testify this faithful kiss: and have a great care Mistress, Abigall, how you depress the spirit any more with your rebukes and mocks: for certainly the edge of such a folly cuts itself.  Abi. 
O sir you have pierced me thorough. Here I vow a recantation to those malicious faults I ever did against you. Never more will I despise your learning never more pin cards and coney tails upon your Cassock, never again reproach your reverend nightcap, and call it by the mangy name of murrain, never your reverend person more, and say, you look like one of Baal's Priests a hanging; never again, when you say grace, laugh at you, nor put you out at prayers: never cramp you more with the great Book of Martyrs; nor when you ride, get soap and thistles for you. No my Roger, these faults shall be corrected and amended, as by the tenor of my tears appears.  Ro. 
Now cannot I hold if I should be hanged, I must cry to. Come to thine own beloved, & do even what thou wilt with me, sweet, sweet, Abi. I am thine own for ever: here's my hand, when Ro. proves a recreant, hang him i'th' bell-ropes. Ent. La. and Mar.  La. 
Why how now Mr. Roger, no prayers down with you tonight? did you hear the bell ring? You are courting, your flock shall fat well for it.  Ro. 
I humbly ask your pardon: I'll clap up Prayers (but stay a little) and be with you again.  Ex. Roger. Ent. El. Lo. La. 

How dare you being so unworthy a Fellow,  
Presume to come to move me any more?   El. Lo. 
Ha, ha, ha.  La. 
What ails the fellow.  Eld. Lo. 
The fellow comes to laugh at you. I tell you Lady, I would not for your Land, be such a coxcomb, such a whining Ass, as you decreed me for when I was last here.  La. 

I joy to hear you are wise Sir, 'tis a rare jewel  
In an elder Brother: pray be wiser yet.   El. Lo. 

methinks I am very wise: I do not come a-wooing;  
Indeed I'll move no more love to your Ladyship.   La. 
What make you here then?  El. Lo. 
Only to see you, and be merry Lady: that's all my business. Faith let's be very merry. where's little Roger? he's a good fellow: an hour or two well spent in wholesome mirth is worth a thousand of these puling passions. 'tis an ill world for Lovers.  La. 
They were never fewer.  El. Lo. 
I thank God there's one less for me Lady.  La. 
You were never any Sir.  El. Lo. 
Till now; and now, I am the prettiest fellow.  La. 
You talk like a tailor Sir.  El. Lo. 
methinks your faces are no such fine things now.  La. 
Why did you tell me you were wise. Lord what a lying age is this, where will you mend these faces?  El. Lo. 
A hog's face soused is worth a hundred of 'em.  La. 
Sure you had some Sow to your Mother.  El. Lo. 
She brought such fine white pigs as you: fit for none but parson's Lady.  La. 
'tis well you will allow us our Clergy yet.  El. Lo. 
That shall not save you. O that I were in love again with a wish.  La. 
By this light you are a scurvy fellow, pray be gone.  El. Lo. 
You know I am a clean skinned man.  La. 
Do I know it?  El. Lo. 
Come, come, you would know it; that's as good: but not a snap, never long for't, not a snap dear Lady.  La. 
Hark ye Sir, hark ye, get ye to the Suburbs, there's horseflesh for such hounds: will you go Sir?  El. lo. 
Lord, how I loved this woman, how I worshipped this pretty calf with the white face here: as I live, you were the prettiest fool to play withal, the wittiest little varlet, it would talk: Lord how it talked; and when I angered it, it would cry out, and scratch, and eat no meat, and yet would say, Go hang.  La. 
It will say so still, if you anger it.  El. lo. 
And when I asked it, if it would be married, it sent me of an errant into France: and would abuse me, and be glad it did so.  La. 
Sir, this is most unmanly, pray begone.  El. Lo. 
And swear (even when it twittered to be at me) I was unhandsome.  La. 
Have you no manners in you?  El. Lo. 
And say my back was melted, when the God knows I kept it at a charge: Feure Flanders Mares would have been easier to me, and a Fencer.  La. 
You think all this is true now.  El. Lo. 

Faith whether it be or no, 'tis too good for you.  
But so much for our mirth: Now have at you in earnest.   La. 
There is enough Sir, I desire no more.  El. lo. 

Yes faith, we'll have a cast at your best parts now,  
And then the devil take the worst.   La. 
Pray Sir no more, I am not much affected with your commendations: 'tis almost dinner, I know they stay you at the Ordinary.  El. lo. 
e'en a short Grace, and then I am gone: You are a woman, and the proudest that ever loved a Coach: the scornfullest, scurviest, and most senseless woman; the greediest to be praised, and never moved, though it be gross and open; the most envious, that at the poor fame of another's face, would eat your own, and more than is your own, the paint belonging to it: of such a self opinion, that you think none can deserve your glove: and for your malice, you are so excellent, you might have been your tempter's tutor: Nay, never cry.  La. 
Your own heart knows you wrong me: I cry for ye?  El. lo. 
You shall before I leave you  La. 
Is all this spoke in earnest?  El. lo. 
Yes, and more as soon as I can get it out.  La. 
Well, out with't.  El. lo. 
You are, let me see.  La. 
One that has used you with too much respect.  El. lo. 
One that hath used me (since you will have it so) the basest, the most Footboy like, without respect of what I was, or what you might be by me: you have used me, as I would use a jade, ride him off's legs, then turn him into the Commons: you have used me with discretion, and I thank ye. If you have many more such pretty Servants, pray build an Hospital, and when they are old, keep 'em for shame.  La. 
I cannot think yet this is serious,  El. lo. 
Will you have more on't?  La. 

No faith, there's enough if it be true:  
Too much by all my part: you are no Lover then?   El. lo. 
No, I had rather be a Carrier.  La. 
Why the gods amend all.  El. lo. 
Neither do I think there can be such a fellow found i'th' world, to be in love with such a froward woman: if there be such, theyare mad, jove comfort 'em. Now you l ave all, and I as new a man, as light, & spirited, that I feel myself clean through another creature. O 'tis brave to be ones own man. I can see you now as I would see a Picture, sit all day by you and never kiss your hand: hear you sing, and never fall backward; but with as set a temper, as I would hear a Fiddler, rise and thank you. I can now keep my money in my purse, that still was gadding out for Scarves and Waistcoats: and keep my hand from Mercers sheepskins finely. I can eat Mutton now, and feast myself with my two shillings, and can see a Play for eighteen pence again: I can my Lady.  La. 
The carriage of this fellow vexes me. Sir, pray let me speak a little private with you, I must not suffer this.  El. lo. 

Ha, ha, ha, what would you with me?  
You will not ravish me? Now, your set speech.   La 
Thou perjured man.  El. lo. 

Ha, ha, ha, this is a fine Exordium:  
And why I pray you perjured?   La. 
Did you not swear a thousand thousand times you loved me best of all things?  El. lo. 
I do confess it: make your best of that.  La. 
Why do you say, you do not then?  El. lo. 

Nay I'll swear it,  
And give sufficient reason, your own usage.   La. 
Do you not love me now then?  El. lo. 
No faith.  La. 
Did you ever think I loved you dearly?  El. lo. 
Yes, but I see but rotten fruits on't.  La. 
Do not deny your hand, for I must kiss it, and take my last farewell: now let me die so you be happy.  El. lo: 
I am too foolish: Lady, speak dear Lady.  La. 
No let me die.  she swoons. Ma. 
O my sister.  Abi. 
O my Lady, help, help.  Mar. 
Run for some Rosa-solis.  El. lo. 
I have played the fine ass: bend her body, Lady, best, dearest, worthiest Lady, hear your servant: I am not as I show'd: O wretched fool to fling away the jewel of thy life thus. Give her more air, see she begins to stir, sweet Mistress hear me.  La. 
Is my servant well.  El. lo. 
In being yours I am so.  La. 
Then I care not.  El. lo. 
How do ye, reach a chair there: I confess my fault not pardonable, in pursuing thus upon such tenderness my wilful error: but had I known it would have wrought thus with ye, thus strangely; not the world had won me to it, and let not (my best Lady) any word spoke to my end disturb your quiet peace: for sooner shall you know a general ruin, than my faith broken. Do not doubt this Mistress: for by my life I cannot live without you. Come come, you shall not grieve, rather be angry, and heap infliction on me: I will suffer. O I could curse myself, pray smile upon me. Upon my faith it was but a trick to try you, knowing you loved me dearly, and yet strangely that you would never show it, though my means was all humility.  All. 
Ha, ha.  El. lo. 
How now?  La. 
I thank you fine fool for your most fine plot: this was a subtle one, a stiff device to have caught dotterels with. Good senseless Sir, could you imagine I should swoon for you, and know yourself to be an arrant ass? ay, 'a discovered one. 'tis quit I Thank you Sir. Ha, ha, ha.  Mar. 
Take heed sir, she may chance to swoon again?  All. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Abi. 
Step to her sir, see how she changes colour.  El. lo. 

I'll go to hell first, and be better welcome.  
I am fooled, I do confess it, finely fooled,  
Lady fooled Madam, and I thank you for it.   La. 

Faith 'tis not so much worth Sir:  
But if I know when you come next a birding.  
I'll have a stronger noose to hold the woodcock.   All. 
Ha, ha, ha.  El. lo. 
I am glad to see you merry, pray laugh on.  Mar. 
Had a hard heart that could not laugh at you Sir. ha, ha.  La. 

Pray Sister do not laugh, you'll anger him,  
And then he'll rail like a rude Costermonger,  
That Schoolboys had cozened of his apples,  
As loud and senseless.   El. lo. 
I will not rail.  Mar. 
Faith then let's hear him sister.  El. lo. 
Yes you shall hear me.  La. 
Shall we be the better for it then?  El. lo. 

No. He that makes a woman better by his words,  
I'll have him Sainted: blows will not do it.   La. 
By this light he'll beat us.  El. lo. 

You do deserve it richly,  
And may live to have a Beadle do it.   La. 
Now he rails.  El. lo. 

Come scornful Folly,  
If this be railing, you shall hear me rail.   La. 
Pray put it in good words then.  El. lo. 

The worst are good enough for such a trifle,  
Such a proud piece of Cobweb lawn.   La. 
You bite Sir.  El. lo. 
I would till the bones cracked, and I had my will.  Mar. 
We had best muffle him, he grows mad.  El. lo 
I would 'twere lawful in the next great sickness to have the dogs spared; those harmless creatures, and knock i'th' head these hot continual plagues, women, that are more infectious. I hope the state will think on't.  La. 
Are you well sir?  Mar. 
He looks as though he had a grievous fit ath Colic.  El. lo. 
Greeneginger will you cure me?  Abi. 
He heat a trencher for him.  El lo. 
Dirty December do. Thou with a face as old as Erra Pater, such a prognosticating nose: thou thing that ten years since has left to be a woman, outworn the expectation of a Bawd; and thy dry bones can reach at nothing now, but gords or ninepins; pray go fetch a trencher, go:  La. 
Let him alone, is cracked:  Abi. 
I'll see him hanged first, is a beastly fellow, to lose a woman of my breeding thus; I marry is a: would I were a man, I'd make him eat his knaves words.  Eld. L. 
Tie your she Otter up, good Lady Folly, she stinks worse than a bearbaiting.  La. 
Why will you be angry now?  Eld. L. 
Go paint and purge, call in your kennel with you: you a Lady?  Abi. 
Sirrah, look to't against the quarter Sessions, if there be good behaviour in the world, I'll have thee bound to it.  Eld. 
L. You must not seek it in your ladies house then: pray send this Ferret home, and spin good Abigall. And madam, that your ladyship may know, in what base manner you have used my service, I do from this hour hate thee heartily: and though your folly should whip you to repentance. and waken you at length to see my wrongs, 'tis not the endeavour of your life shall win me: not all the friends you have in intercession, nor your submissive letters, though they spoke as many tears as words; not your knees grown toth' ground in penitence, not all your state, to kiss you: nor my pardon nor will to give you Christian burial, if you die thus: so farewell. When I am married and made sure, I'll come and visit you again, and vex you Lady. By all my hopes I'll be a torment to you, worse than a tedious winter. I know you will recant and sue to me, but save that labour: I'll rather love a Fever and continual thirst, rather contract my youth to drink, and safer dote upon quarrels, or take a drawn whore from an Hospital, that time, diseases, and Mercury had eaten, than to be drawn to love you.  La, 
Ha, ha, ha, pray do, but take heed though.  Eld. L. 
From thee, false dice, lads. Cowards, and plaguy Summers, good Lord deliver me.  Ex. Eld. Love. La. 
But hark you servant, hark ye: is he gone? call him aine:  Abi. 
Hang him Padocke.  La. 
Art thou here still? fly, fly, and call my servant, fly or near see me more.  Abi. 
I had rather knit again then see that rascal, but I must do it.  ex. Abi. La. 
I would be loath to anger him too much: what fine foolery is this in a woman, to use those men most frowardly they love most? If I should lose him thus, I were rightly served. I hope is not so much himself to take it toth' heart: how now? will he come back?  ent. Abi. Abi. 
Never he swears whilst he can hear men say there's any woman living: he swore he wood ha' me first.  La. 
Didst thou entreat him wench?  Abi. 
As well as I could Madam. But this is still your way, to love being absent, and when he's with you, laugh at him and abuse him. There is another way if you could hit on't.  La. 
Thou sayst true, get me paper, pen, and ink, I'll write to him, I'd be loath he should sleep in's anger.  
Women are most fools, when they think theyare wisest.  ex. omnes. Music. Enter young Loveless and Widow, going to be married: with them his Comrades. Wi. 
Pray Sir cast off these fellows, as unfitting for your bare knowledge, and far more your company: be't fit such Ragamuffins as these are should bear the name of friends? and furnish out a civil house? you're to be married now, and men that love you must expect a course far from your old career: If you will keep 'em, turn 'em toth' stable, & there make 'em grooms: and yet now I consider it, such beggars once set a horse back, you have heard will ride, how far you had best to look to.  Cap. 
Hear you, you that must be Lady, pray content yourself and think upon your carriage soon at night, what dressing will best take your knight, what waistcoat, what cordial will do well i'th' morning for him, what triers have you?  Wi. 
What do you mean Sir?  Cap. 
Those that must switch him up: if he start well, fear not but cry S. George, and bear him hard: when you perceive his wind grows hot, and wanting, let him a little down, is fleet near doubt him, and stands sound.  Wi. 
Sir, you hear these fellows?  Yo. L. 
Merry companions, wench, merry companions:  UUi. 
To one another let 'em be companions, but good Sir not to you: you shall be civil and slip off these base trappings.  Cap. 
He shall not need, my most sweet Lady grocer, if he be civil, not your powdered Sugar, nor your Reasens shall persuade the Captain to live a coxcomb with him: Let him be civil and eat i'th' Arches, and see what will come on't.  Po. 
I et him be civil, do: undo him: ay, that's the next way. I will not take (if he be civil once) two hundred pounds a year to live with him: be civil? there's a trim persuasion.  Cap. 
If thou be'st civil Knight, as jove defend it, get thee another nose, that will be pulled off by the angry boys, for thy conversion: the Children thou shalt get on this Civilian cannot inherit by the law, theyare Ethnics, and all thy sport mere Moral lechery: when they are grown having but little in 'em, they may prove Haberdashers, or gross grocers, like their dear dam there: prithee be civil Knight, in time thou mayst read to thy household and be drunk once a year: this would show finely.  Yo. L. 
I wonder sweet heart you will offer this, you do not understand these Gentlemen: I will be short and pithy: I had rather cast you off by the way of charge: these are Creatures, that nothing goes to the maintenance of but Corn and Water. I will keep these fellows just in the Competency of two Hens:  Wid. 
If you can cast it so Sir, you have my liking; if they eat less, I should not be offended: But how these, Sir, can live upon so little as Corn and Water. I am unbelieving.  Yo. L. 
Why prithee sweet heart what's your Ale? is not that Corn and Water my sweet Widow?  Wid. 
ay but my sweet Knight, where's the meat to this, and clothes that they must look for?  Yo. L. 
In the short sentence Ale, is all included: Meat, Drink, and Cloth: these are no ravening footmen, no fellows that at Ordinaries dare eat their eighteen pence thrice out before they rise, and yet go hungry to play, and crack more nuts then would suffice a dozen Squirrels; besides the din, which is damnable: I had rather rail, and be confined to a Boat maker, than hue among such rascals; these are people of such a clean discretion in their diet, of such a moderate sustenance, that they sweat if they but smell hot meat. Porridge is poison, they hate a kitchen as they hate a counter, and show 'em but a Featherbed they swoon. Ale is their eating, and their drinking surely, which keeps their bodies clear, & soluble. Bread is a binder, and for that abolished even in their ale, whose lost room fills an apple, which is more air, and of subtler Nature. The rest they take, is little, and that little, as little easy: For like strict men of order, they do correct their bodies with a bench, or a poor stubborn table; if a chimney offer it self with some few broken rushes, they are in down: when they are sick, that's drunk, they may have fresh shaw, else they do despise these worldly pamperings. For their poor apparel, 'tis worn out to the diet; new they seek none, and if a man should offer, they are angry: scarce to be reconciled again with him: you shall not hear 'em ask one a cast doublet, once in a year, which is a modesty befitting my poor friends: you see their wardrobe, though slender, competent: For shirts I take it, they are things worn out of their remembrance. Lousy they will be, when they list, and Mangy, which shows a fine variety: and then to cure 'em, a tanner's limepit, which is little charge, two dogs, and these; these two may be cured for three pence.  Wi. 
You have half persuaded me, pray use your pleasure: and my good friends since I do know your diet, I'll take an order, meat shall not offend you, you shall have ale.  Cap. 
we ask no more, let it be mighty, Lady: and if we perish, than our own sins on us.  Yo. l. 
Come forward gentlemen, to Church my boys, when we have done, I'll give you cheer in bouls.  Exeunt. 
Finis Actus Quarti.    

Actus 5.  

Scaena Prima.  Enter Eld: Loveless. Eld. lo. 
This senseless woman vexes me toth' heart, she will not from my memory: would she were a man for one two hours, that I might beat her. If I had been unhandsome, old, or t'had been an even lay she might have scorned me: but to be young, and by this light I think as proper as the proudest; made as clean, as straight, and strong backed; means and manners equal with the best cloth of silver Sir i'th' kingdom: But these are things at some time of the Moon, below the cut of Canvas: Sure she has some Mecching rascal in her house, some hind, that she hath seen bear (like another Milo) quarters of Malt upon his back, and sing with't, thrash all day, and i'th' evening in his stockings, strike up a hornpipe, and there stink two hours, and near a whit the worse man; these are they, these steele chineed rascals that undo us all. Would I had been a carter, or a Coachman, I had done the deed ere this time:  Enter Servant. Ser. 
Sir there's a Gentleman without would speak with you:  Eld. lo. 
Bid him come in:  Enter Welford. Wel. 
By your leave Sir.  Eld. lo. 
You are welcome, what's your will Sir?  Wel. 
Have you forgotten me?  Eld. lo. 
I do not much remember you.  Wel. 
You must Sir. I am that gentleman you pleased to wrong, in your disguise I have inquired you out.  El. lo. 
I was disguised indeed Sir if I wronged you. Pray where and when?  Wel. 
In such a lady's house Sir: I need not name her.  Eld. lo. 
I do remember you: you seemed to be a suitor to that Lady:  Wel. 
If you remember this, do not forget how scurvily you used me: that was no place to quarrel in, pray you think of it: If you be honest you dare fight with me, without more viging, else I must provoke ye:  Eld. lo. 
Sir I dare fight, but never for a woman, I will not have her in my cause, she's Mortal and so is not my anger: If you have brought a Nobler subject for our swords, I am for you: in this I would be loath to prick my finger. And where you say I wronged you, 'tis so far from my profession, that amongst my fears, to do wrong is the greatest: credit me we have been both abused. (not by ourselves, for that I hold a spleen no sin of Malice, and may with man enough be lest forgotten,) but by that wilful, scornful piece of hatred, that much forgetful Lady: For whose sake, if we should leave our reason, and run on upon our sense, like Rams: the little world of good men would laugh at us, and despise us, fixing upon our desperate memories the never-worn out names of Fools, and Fencers. Sir 'tis not fear, but reason makes me tell you: in this I had rather help you Sir, then hurt you, and you shall find it, though you throw yourself into as many dangers as she offers, though you redeem her lost name every day, and find her out new honours with your sword, you shall but be her mitth, as I have been.  Wel. 
I ask you mercy Sir, you have ta'en my edge off: yet I would fain be even with this Lady.  Eld. lo. 
In which i'll be your helper: we are two, and they are two: two sisters, rich alike, only the elder has the prouder dowry: In troth I pity this disgrace in you, yet of mine own I am senseless: do but follow my counsel, and i'll pawn my spirit, we'll overreach 'em yet; the means is this.  Enter Servant. Ser. 
Sir there's a Gentlewoman will needs speak with you: I cannot keep her out, she's entered Sir:  Eld. lo. 
It is the waiting woman, pray be not seen: sirrah hold her in discourse awhile: hark in your ear, go, and dispatch it quickly, when I come in I'll tell you all the project.  Wel. 
I care not which I have.  Exit Welford. Eld. lo. 
Away, 'tis done, she must not see you: now Lady Gwiniver, what news with you?  Enter Abigall: Abi. 
Pray leave these frumps Sir, and receive this letter.  Eld. lo. 
From whom good vanity?  Abi. 
'Tis from my Lady Sir: alas good soul, she cries and takes on:  Eld. lo. 
does she so good soul? would she not have a caudle? does she send you with your fine Oratory goody Tully to tie me to belief again? Bring out the Cat hounds, i'll make you take a tree whore, then with my tiller bring down your Gibship, and then have you cast, and hung up i'th' warren.  Abi. 
I am no beast Sir: would you knew it:  Eld. lo. 
Would I did, for I am yet very doubtful: what will you say now?  Abi. 
Nothing not I:  Eld. lo. 
Art thou a woman, and say nothing?  Abi. 
Unless you'll hear me with more moderation; I can speak wise enough:  Eld. lo. 
And loud enough: will your Lady love me?  Abi. 
It seems so by her letter, and her lamentations: but you are such another man:  Eld. lo. 
Not such another as I was, Mumps; nor will not be: i'll read her fine Epistle: ha, ha, ha: is not thy Mistress mad?  Abi. 
For you she will be, 'tis a shame you should use a poor gentlewoman so untowardly: she loves the ground you tread on: and you (hard heart) because she jested with you, mean to kill her: 'tis a fine conquest as they say:  Eld. lo. 
Hast thou so much moisture in thy whitleather hide yet, that thou canst cry? I would have sworn thou hadst been touchwood five year since: Nay let it rain, thy Face chops for a shower like a dry dunghill.  Abi. 
I'll not endure this Ribaldry: Farewell i'th' devils name: if my Lady die, i'll be sworn before a jury, thou art the cause on't:  Eld. lo. 
Do Maukin do: deliver to your Lady from me this: I mean to see her, if I have no other business; which before i'll want to come to her, I mean to go seek birds nests: yet I may come too: but if I come, from this door till I see her, will I think how to rail vildly at her; how to vex her, and make her cry so much, that the Physician if she fall sick upon't shall want urine to find the cause by: and she remediless die in her heresy: Farewell old Adage, I hope to see the boys make Potguns on thee.  Abi. 
thouart a vile man; God bless my issue from thee.  Eld. lo. 
Thou hast but one, and that's in thy left crupper, that makes thee hobble so; you must be ground i'th' breech like a top, you'll near spin well else: Farewell fitchcock.  Exeunt. Enter Lady alone. La. 
Is it not strange that every woman's will should track out new ways to disturb herself? if I should call my reason to account, it cannot answer why I stop myself from mine own wish; and stop the man I love from his; and every hour repent again, yet still go on: I know 'tis like a man, that wants his natural sleep, and growing dull, would gladly give the remnant of his life for two hours rest: yet through his frowardness, will rather choose to watch another man. Drowsy as he, then take his own repose. All this I know: yet a strange peevishness and anger, not to have the power to do things unexpected, carries me away to mine own ruin had rather die sometimes than not disgrace in public him whom people think I love, and do't with oaths, and am in earnest then: O what are we! Men, you must answer this, that do obey such things as we command. How now? what news?  Abi. 
Faith Madam none worth hearing.  Ent. Abi. La. 
Is he not come?  Abi. 
No truly.  La. 
Nor has he writ?  Abi. 
Neither. I pray God you have not undone yourself:  La. 
Why, but what says he?  Abi. 
Faith he talks strangely:  La. 
How strangely?  Abi. 
First at your Letter he laughed extremely:  La. 
What in contempt?  Abi. 
He laughed monstrous loud, as he would die, and when you wrote it, I think you were in no such merry mood, to provoke him that way: and having done he cried alas for her, and violently laughed again.  La. 
Did he?  Abi. 
yes till I was angry:  La. 
Angry, why? why wert thou angry? he did do but well, I did deserve it, he had been a fool, an unfit man for any one to love, had he not laughed thus at me: you were angry, that showed your folly; I shall love him more for that, than all that ere he did before: but said he nothing else?  Abi. 
Many uncertain things: he said though you had mocked him, because you were a woman, he could wish to do you so much favour as to see you: yet he said, he knew you rash, and was loath to offend you with the sight of one, whom now he was bound not to leave.  La. 
What one was that?  Abi. 
I know not, but truly I do fear there is a making up there: for I heard the servants, as I passed by some, whisper such a thing: and as I came back through the hall, there were two or three Clerks writing great conveyances in haste, which they said were for their Mistress jointure.  La. 
'Tis very like and fit it should be so, for he does think, and reasonably think, that I should keep him with my idle tricks for ever ere he married.  Abi. 
At last he said, it should go hard but he would see you for your satisfaction.  La. 
All we that are called Women, know as well as men, it were a far more Noble thing to grace where we are graced, and give respect there where we are respected: yet we practise a wilder course, and never bend our eyes on men with pleasure, till they find the way to give us a neglect: than we, too late, perceive the loss of what we might have had, and dote to death.  Ent. Martha. Ma. 
Sister yonder's your Servant, with a gentlewoman with him.  La. 
Where?  Mar. 
Close at the door.  La. 

alas I am undone, I fear he is betrothed.  
What kind of woman is she?   Mar. 

A most ill favoured one, with her mask on:  
And how her face should mend the rest I know not.   La. 
But yet her mind is of a milder stuff than mine was.  Enter Fld Loveless, and Welford in woman's apparel. La. 
Now I see him, if my heart swell not again (away thou woman's pride) so that I cannot speak a gentle word to him, let me not live.  El. Lo. 
By your leave here.  La. 

How now, what new trick invites you hither?  
Ha' you a fine device again?   El. Lo. 

Faith this is the finest device I have now:  
How dost thou sweet heart?   Wel. 

Why very well, so long as I may please  
You my dear Lover: I nor can, nor will  
Be ill when you are well, well when you are ill.   El. Lo. 
O thy sweet temper: what would I have given, that lady had been like thee: seest thou her? that face (my love) joined with thy humble mind, had made a wench indeed.  Wel. 
Alas my love, what God hath done, I dare not think to mend: I use no paint, nor any drugs of Art, my hands and face will show it.  La. 
Why what thing have you brought to show us there? do you take money for it?  El. Lo. 
A Godlike thing, not to be bought for money: 'tis my Mistress: in whom there is no passions, nor no scorn: what I will is for law; pray you salute her.  La. 
Salute her? by this good light I would not kiss her for half my wealth.  E. lo. 

Why, why pray you?  
You shall see me do't afore you: look you.   La. 
Now fie upon thee, a beast would not have done I would not kiss thee of a month to gain a Kingdom.  El. lo. 
Marry you shall not be troubled.  La. 

Why was there ever such a Meg as this?  
Sure thou art mad.   El. Lo. 
I was mad once, when I loved pictures: for what are shape and colours else, but pictures? in that tawny hide there lies an endless mass of virtues; when all your red & white ones want it.  La. 
And this is she you are to marry, is't not?  El. Lo. 
Yes indeed isis.  La. 
God give you joy.  El. lo. 
Amen.  Wel. 

I thank you, as unknown, for your good wish.  
The like to you, whenever you shall wed.   El. Lo. 
O gentle spirit.  La. 

You thank me? I pray  
Keep your breath nearer you, I do not like it.   Wel. 

I would not willingly offend at all:  
Much less a lady of your worthy parts.   El. lo. 
Sweet, Sweet.  La. 

I do not think this woman can by nature be thus,  
Thus ugly: sure she's some common Strumpet,  
Deformed with exercise of sin.   Wel. 
O Sir believe not this: for heaven so comfort me as I am free from foul pollution with any man: my honour ta'en away, I am no woman.  El. lo. 
Arise my dearest soul: I do not credit it. Alas, I fear her tender heart will break with this reproach: fie that you know no more civility to a weak virgin. 'tis no matter Sweet, let her say what she will, thou art not worse to me, and therefore not at all: be careless.  Wel. 
For all things else I would, but for mine honour: methinks.  El. lo. 

Alas, thine honour is not stained.  
Is this the business that you sent for me about?   Ma. 
Faith Sister you are much to balm, to use a woman, whatsoe'er she be, thus: we salute her: You are welcome hither.  Wel. 
I humbly thank you.  El. lo. 
Mild still as the Dove, for all these injuries. Come, shall we go, I love thee not so ill to keep thee here a jesting stock. adieu to the world's end.  La. 
Why whither now?  El. lo. 
Nay you shall never know, because you shall not find me.  La. 
I pray let me speak with you.  El. lo. 
'tis very well: come.  La. 
I pray you let me speak with you.  El. lo. 
Yes for another mock.  La. 
By heaven I have no mocks: good Sir a word.  El. lo. 
Though you deserve not so much at my hands, yet if you be in such earnest, I will speak a word with you: but I beseech you be brief; for in good faith there's a Parson, and a licence stay for us i'th' Church all this while: & you know 'tis night.  La. 
Sir, give me hearing patiently, and whatsoever I have heretofore spoke jestingly, forget: for as I hope for mercy anywhere, what I shall utter now is from my heart, and as I mean.  El. lo. 
Well, well, what do you mean?  La. 
Was not I once your Mistress, and you my Servant?  El. lo. 
O 'tis about the old matter.  La. 
Nay good Sir stay me out: I would but hear you excuse yourself, why you should take this woman, and leave me.  El. lo. 
Prithee why not, deserves she not as much as you?  La. 

I think not, if you will look  
With an indifferency up on us both.   El. lo. 
Upon your faces, 'tis true: but if judicially we shall cast our eyes upon your minds, you are a thousand women of her in worth: She cannot sound in jest, nor set her lover tasks, to show her peevishness, and his affection: nor cross what he says, though it be canonical. she's a good plain wench, that will do as I will have her, and bring me lusty boys to throw the Sledge, and lift at Pigs of lead: and for a wife, she's far beyond you: what can you do in a household, to provide for your issue, but lie a-bed and get 'em? your business is to dress you, and at idle hours to eat; when she can do a thousand profitable things: She can do pretty well in the Pastry, and knows how pullen should be crammed: she cuts Cambric at a third: weaves bonelace, and quilts balls: And what are you good for?  La. 
Admit it true, that she were far beyond me in all respects, does that give you a licence to forswear yourself?  El. lo. 
Forswear myself, how?  La. 
Perhaps you have forgot the innumerable oaths you have uttered in disclaiming all for wives but me: I'll not remember you: God give you joy.  El. lo. 
Nay but conceive me, the intent of oaths is ever understood. Admit I should protest to such a friend, to see him at his lodging tomorrow: Divines would never hold me perjured, if I were struck blind, or he hid him where my diligent search could not find him: so there were no cross act of mine own in't. Can it be imagined I meant to force you to marriage, and to have you whether you will or no?  La. 
Alas you need not. I make already tender of myself, and than you are forsworn.  El. lo. 
Some sin I see indeed must necessarily fall upon me, as whosoever deals with women shall never utterly avoid it: yet I would choose the least ill; which is to forsake you, that have done me all the abuses of a malignant woman, contemned my service, and would have held me prating about marriage, till I had been past getting of children: then her that hath forsook her family, and put her tender body in my hand, upon my word.  La. 
Which of us swore you first to?  El. lo: 
Why to you.  La. 
Which oath is to be kept then.  El. lo 

I prithee do not urge my sins unto me,  
Without I could amend 'em.   La. 
Why you may by wedding me.  El. lo. 
How will that satisfy my word to her?  La. 

'tis not to be kept, and needs no satisfaction,  
'tis an error fit for repentance only.   El. lo. 
Shall I live to wrong that tender hearted virgin so? It may not be.  La. 
Why may it not be?  El. lo. 
I swear I had rather marry thee then her: but yet mine honesty.  La. 

What honesty? 'tis more preserved this way:  
Come, by this light servant thou shalt, I'll kiss thee on't.   El. lo. 
This kiss indeed is sweet, pray God no sin lie under it.  La. 
There is no sin at all, try but another.  Wel. 
O my heart.  Mar. 
Help sister, this lady swoons.  El. lo. 
How do you?  Wel. 
Why very well, if you be so.  El. lo. 
Sure a quiet mind lives not in any woman: I shall do a most ungodly thing. Hear me one word more, which by all my hopes I will not alter. I did make an oath when you delayed me so; that this very night I would be married. Now if you will go without delay, suddenly, as late as it is, with your own Minister to your own Chapel, I'll wed you, and to bed.  La. 
A match dear servant.  El. lo. 
For if you should forsake me now, I care not, she would not though for all her injuries, such is her spirit, If I be not ashamed to kiss her now I part, may I not live.  Wel. 
I see you go, as slily as you think to steal away: yet I will pray for you; All blessings of the world light on you two, that you may live to be an aged pair. All curses on me if I do not speak what I do wish indeed.  El. lo. 
If I can speak to purpose to her, I am a villain.  La. 
Servant away.  Mar. 
Sister, will you marry that inconstant man? think you he will not cast you off tomorrow, to wrong a lady thus, looked she like dirt, 'twas basely done. May you near prosper with him.  Wel. 
Now God forbid, Alas I was unworthy, so I told him.  Mar. 

That was your modesty, too good for him.  
I would not see your wedding for a world.   La. 
Choose, choose, come Yonglove.  Ex. La, El. lo. & Yong. Mar. 
Dry up your eyes forsooth, you shall not think we are all uncivil, all such beasts as these. Would I knew how to give you a revenge.  Wel. 
So would not I: No let me suffer truly, that I desire.  Mar. 
Pray walk in with me, 'tis very late, and you shall stay all night: your bed shall be no worse than mine; I wish I could but do you right.  Wel. 

My humble thanks:  
God grant I may but live to quit your love.   Yonglove Enter Young Loveless and Savill. Young lo. 
Did your Master send for me Savil?  Sa. 
Yes he did send for your worship sir.  Yo. lo. 
Do you know the business?  Sa. 
Alas Sir I know nothing, nor am employed beyond my hours of eating. My dancing days are done sir.  Yo. lo. 
What art thou now then.  Sa. 
If you consider me in little, I am with your worship's reverence sir, a rascal: one that upon the next anger of your brother, must raise a sconce by the high way, and sell switches. My wife is learning new sir to weave inkle.  Yo. lo. 
What dost thou mean to do with thy children Savill?  Sa. 
My eldest boy is half a rogue already, he was borne bursten, and your worship knows, that is a pretty step to men's capassions. My youngest boy I purpose sir to bind for ten years to a Jailer, to draw under him, that he may show us mercy in his function.  Yo. lo. 
Your family is quartered with discretion: you are resolved to cant then: where Savil shall your scene lie.  Sa. 

beggar's must be no choosers:  
In every place (I take it) but the stocks.   Yo lo. 

This is your drinking, and your whoring Savil,  
I told you of it, but your heart was hardened.   Sa. 
'tis true, you were the first that told me of it, I do remember yet in tears, you told me you would have whores, and in that passion sir, you broke our thus; Thou miserable man, repent, and brew three strikes more in a hogshead. 'tis noon ere we be drunk now, and the time can tarry for no man.  Yo. lo. 
You're grown a bitter Gentleman. I see misery can can clear your head better than mustard. I'll be a suitor for your keys again sir.  Sa. 
will you but be so gracious to me sir? I shall be bound.  Yo. lo. 

You shall sir,  
To your bunch again, or I'll miss foully.   Enter Moorcraft. Mo. 
Save you gent. save you.  Yo lo. 
Now Polecat, what young rabbits nest have you to draw?  Mo. 
Come, pray thee be familiar Knight.  Yo. lo! 
Away Fox, I'll send for Terriers for you.  Mo. 
Thou art wide yet: I'll keep thee company.  Yo. lo. 

I am about some business; Indentures,  
If ye follow me I'll beat you: take heed,  
As I live I'll cancel your Coxcomb.   Mo. 

Thou art cozened now, I am no usurer:  
What poor fellow's this?   Sa. 
I am poor indeed sir.  Mo. 
Give him money Knight.  Yo. lo. 
Do you begin the offering.  Mo. 
There poor fellow, here's an angel for thee.  Yo lo. 
Art thou in earnest Moorcraft?  Mo. 
Yes faith Knight. I'll follow thy example: thou hadst land and thousands, thou spendst, and flungst away, and yet it flows in double: I purchased, wrung, and wierdraw'd for my wealth, lost, and was cozened: for which I make a vow, to try all the ways above ground. but I'll find a constant means to riches without curses.  Yo. lo. 

I am glad of your conversion Mr. Moorcraft:  
you're in a fair course, pray pursue it still.   Mo. 
Come, we are all gallants now, I'll keep thee company; Here honest fellow, for this gentleman's sake, there's two angels more for thee.  Sa. 
God quit you sir, and keep you long in this mind.  Yr. lo. 
Wilt thou persever?  Mo. 
Till I have a penny. I have brave clothes a making, and two horses; canst thou not help me to a Match Knight, I'll lay a a thousand pound upon my crop-ear.  Yo. lo. 

Foot this is stranger than an Afrique monster,  
There will be no more talk of the Cleave wars  
Whilst this lasts, come, I'll put thee into blood.   Sa. 
Would all his damned tribe were as tender hearted. I beseech you let this gent. join with you in the recovery of my Keys; I like his good beginning sir, the whilst I'll pray for both your worships.  Yo. lo. 
He shall sir.  Mo. 
Shall we go noble Knight? I would fain be acquainted.  Yo. lo. 
I'll be your servant sir.  Exeunt. Ent El. Loveless and Lady. El. lo. 
Faith my sweet Lady, I have caught you now, maugre your subtleties, and fine devices, be coy again now.  La. 
prithee sweetheart tell true.  El. lo. 
By this light, by all the pleasures I have had this night, by your lost maidenhead, you are cozened merely. I have cast beyond your wit. That gent. is your retainer Welford.  La. 
It cannot be so.  El. lo. 
Your sister has found it so, or I mistake: mark how she blushes when you see her next. Ha, ha, ha, I shall not travel now, ha, ha, ha.  La. 
Prithee sweet heart be quiet, thou hast angered me at heart.  El. lo. 
I'll please you soon again.  La. 
Welford.  El. lo. 
I Welford, he's a young handsome fellow, well bred and landed: your sister can instruct you in his good parts better than I by this time.  La. 
Uds'foot, am I fetched over thus?  El. lo. 

Yes i'faith.  
And over shall be fetched again, never fear it.   La. 

I must be patient, though it torture me:  
You have got the Sun Sir.   El. lo. 
And the Moon too, in which I'll be the man.  La. 
But had I known this, had I but surmised it, you should have hunted three trains more, before you had come toth' course, you should have hanckt o'th' bridle, Sir, i'faith.  El. lo. 

I knew it, and mined with you, and so blew you up.  
Now you may see the Gentlewoman: stand close.   Enter Welford and Martha. Mar. 

For God's sake Sir be private in this business,  
You have undone me else. O God, what have I done?   Wel. 
No harm I warrant thee.  Mar. 

How shall I look upon my friends again?  
With what face?   Wel. 
Why e'en with that: 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better: look upon all the faces thou shalt see there, and you shall find 'em smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and to your thinking honest: those have done as much as you have yet, or dare do Mistress, and yet they keep no stir.  Ma. 

Good Sir go in, and put your woman's clothes on.  
If you be seen thus, I am lost for ever.   Wel. 
I'll watch you for that Mistress: I am no fool, here will I tarry till the house be up and witness with me.  Mar. 
Good dear friend go in.  Wel. 
To bed again if you please, else I am fixed here, till there be notice taken what I am, and what I have done: If you could juggle me into my womanhood again, & so cog me out of your company, all this would be forsworn, and I again an asinego, as your Sister left me. No, I'll have it known and published; then if you'll be a whore, forsake me, & be shamed: & when you can hold out no longer, marry some cast Cleve Captain, and sell Bottle-ale.  Mar. 
I dare not stay sir, use me modestly, I am your wife.  Wel. 
Go in, I'll make up all.  El. lo. 
I'll be a witness to your naked truth Sir: this is the gentlewoman, prithee look upon him, this is he that made me break my faith Sweet: but thank your sister, she hath soldered it.  La. 
What a dull ass was I, I could not see this wencher from a wench: twenty to one, if I had been but tender like my sister, he had served me such a slippery trick too.  Wel. 
Twenty to one I had.  El. lo. 
I would have watched you Sir, by your good patience, for ferreting in my ground.  La. 
Yow have been with my Sister.  Wel. 
Yes, to bring.  El. lo. 
An heir into the world he means.  La. 
There is no chafing now.  Wel. 
I have had my part on't: I have been chafed this three hours, that's the least, I am reasonable cool now.  La. 
Cannot you fare well, but you must cry roast-meat?  Wel. 
He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is either surfeited, or ill taught, Lady: for mine own part, I have found so sweet a diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it.  El. lo. 
How like you this dish, Welford, I made a supper on't, and fed so heartily, I could not sleep.  La. 
By this light, had I but scented out your train, ye had slept with a bare pillow in your arms, & kissed that, or else the bedpost, for any wife ye had got this twelvemonth yet: I would have vexed you more than a tired post-horse: & been longer bearing, then ever aftergame at Irish was. Lord, that I were unmarried again.  El. lo. 
Lady, I would not undertake ye, were you again a Haggard, for the best cast of sore Ladies i'th' Kingdom: you were ever tickle footed, and would not truss round?  Wel. 
Is she fast?  El. lo. 
She was all night locked here boy.  Wel. 
Then you may lure her without fear of losing: take off her Cranes. You have a delicate Gentlewoman to your sister: Lord what a pretty fury she was in, when she perceived I was a man: but I thank God I satisfied her scruple, without the Parson o'th' town.  El. lo. 
What did ye?  Wel. 
madam, can you tell what we did?  El. Lo. 
She has a shrewd guess at it I see by her.  La. 
Well you may mock us: but my large Gentlewoman, my Mary Ambree, had I but seen into you, you should have had another bedfellow, fitter a great deal for your itch.  Wel. 

I thank you Lady, methought it was well,  
You are so curious.   Enter Young Loveless, his Lady, Moorecraft, Savill and two servingmen. El. Lo. 
Get on your doublet, here comes my brother.  Yo. Lo. 
Good morrow brother, and all good to your Lady.  Mo. 
God save you, and good morrow to you all.  El. Lo. 
Good morrow. Here's a poor brother of yours.  La. 
Fie how this shames me.  Mo. 
Prithee good fellow help me to a cup of Beer.  Ser. 
I will Sir,  Yo. lo. 

Brother what make you here? will this Lady do?  
Will she? is she not nettled still?   El. Lo. 

No, I have cured her.  
Mr. Welford, pray know this Gentleman, is my brother.   Wel. 
Sir, I shall long to love him.  Yo. lo. 
I shall not be your debtor Sir. But how is't with you?  El. Lo. 
As well as may be man; I am married: your new acquaintance hath her Sister: and all's well.  Yo. Lo. 

I am glad on't. Now my pretty Lady Sister,  
How do you find my brother?   La. 
Almost as wild as you are.  Yo. Lo. 
'a will make the better husband: you have tried him?  La. 
Against my will Sir.  Yo. Lo. 
he'll make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. But Sir, I must entreat you to be better known To this converted jew here.  Ser. 
Here's Beer for you Sir.  Mo. 

And here's for you an angel:  
Pray buy no Land, 'twill never prosper Sir.   El. Lo. 
How's this?  Yo. Lo. 
Bless you, and then I'll tell: He's turned Gallant.  El. Lo. 
Gallant?  Yo. lo. 

I Gallant, and is now called, Cutting Moorecraft:  
The reason I'll inform you, at more leisure,   Wel. 
O good Sir let me know him presently.  Yo. lo. 
You shall hug one another.  Mo. 
Sir I must keep you company.  El. lo. 
And reason.  Yo. lo. 
Cutting Moorcraft faces about. I must present another.  Mo. 
As many as you will Sir, I am for 'em.  Wel. 
Sir I shall do you service.  Mo. 
I shall look for't in good faith sir.  El. lo. 
Prithee good sweetheart kiss him.  La. 
Who, that fellow?  Sa. 
Sir will it please you to remember me: my keys good sir.  Yo. Lo. 
I'll do it presently.  El. Lo. 
Come thou shalt kiss him for our sport's sake.  La. 
Let him come on then, and do you hear, do not instruct me in these tricks, for you may repent it.  Eld. Lo. 

That at my peril. Lusty Mr. Moorecraft,  
Here is a Lady would salute you.   Mo. 
She shall not lose her longing Sir: what is she?  El. Lo. 
My wife Sir.  Mo. 
She must be then my Mistress.  La. 
Must I Sir:  El. lo. 
O yes, you must.  Mo. 

And you must take this ring, a poor pawn,  
Of some fifty pound.   El. lo: 
Take it by any means, 'tis lawful prize.  La. 
Sir I shall call you servant.  Mo. 
I shall be proud on't: what fellow's that:  Yo. Lo. 
My Lady's Coachman.  Mo. 

there's something. (my friend) for you to buy whips,  
And for you sir, and you sir.   El. lo. 

Under a miracle this is the strangest,  
I ever heard of.   Mo. 

What shall we play, or drink? what shall we do?  
Who will hunt with me for a hundred pound?   Wel. 

Stranger and Stranger!  
Sir you shall find sport after a day or two.   Yong. Lo. 

Sir I have a suit unto you,  
Concerning your old servant Savill.   El. lo. 
O, for his keys, I know it,  Sa. 
Now sir, strike in.  Mo. 
Sir I must have you grant me.  El. lo. 

'tis done Sir, take your keys again:  
But hark you Savill, leave of the motions  
Of the flesh, and be honest, or else you shall graze again.  
I'll try you once more.   Sa. 

If ever I be taken drunk, or whoring,  
Take off the biggest key i'th' bunch, and open  
My head with it Sir: I humbly thank your worships.   El. lo. 

Nay then I see we must keep holiday Ent. Roger, & Abigall.  
here's the last couple in hell.   Ro. 
joy be amongst you all.  La. 
Why how now sir, what is the meaning of this Emblem?  Ro. 
Marriage an't like your worship.  La. 
Are you married?  Ro. 
As well as the next priest could do it, Madam.  Eld. Lo. 
I think the signs in Gemini here's such coupling.  Wel. 
Sir Roger, what will you take to lie from your sweetheart tonight?  Ro 
Not the best benefice in your worship's gift Sir.  Wel. 
A whoreson, how he swells.  Yo. Lo. 
How many times tonight Sir Roger?  Ro. 

Sir you grow scurrilous:  
What I shall do, I shall do: I shall not need your help.   Yo. Lo. 
For horse flesh Roger.  El lo. 

Come prithee be not angry, 'tis a day  
Given wholly to our mirth.   La. 

It shall be so sir: Sir Roger and his Bride,  
We shall entreat to be at our charge.   El. lo. 

Welford get you to Church: by this light,  
You shall not lie with her again, till you're married.   Wel. 
I am gone.  Mo. 

To every Bride I dedicate this day:  
Six healths a piece, and it shall go hard,  
But every one a jewel: Come be mad Boys.   El. lo. 

thouart in a good beginning: come who leads?  
Sir Roger, you shall have the Van: lead the way:  
Would every dogged wench had such a day. Exeunt.   
FINIS.