A DIALOGUE between LUCIAN and DIOGENES of the life hard and sharp, and of the life tender and delicate.   

¶ Lucian and Diogene●  LUCIAN. 
What mean thou by this? thou hast a beard & a long bush, and near a cote/ but naked and bare legged/ choosing a wandering beastly life/ and besides that against all others custom, thou abusest thine own body, thou wanderest hither and thither/ and sleepest more over upon the bare earth. In so much that this fowl, torn/ coourse, and thredebare clock oft times reporteth it.  DIOGENES. 
I need none other: for if there be any thing that may lightly be gotten and trouble least the owner, that sufficeth me. But tell me for god's sake/ thynkeste thou that there is vice in waste?  LV. 
ye very great.  DIO. 
And in temperance virtue?  LV. 
What else?  DIO. 
Sins thou 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 live more temperately than the common sort of men/ & them more wastefully: why than dost thou blame me and not them?  LV. 
By god by cause me thinketh thou livest not more temperately, but more needly, ye and that most needy and wretched. For thou seemest no better than a beggar that beggeth his daily meat.  DIO. 
Wolte thou then (sins we are gone so far) that we see what thing skarsite is, and what plenty is?  LV. 
ye if thou wilt.  DIO. 
Than is not that enough for every man/ that satisfieth his need? or wilt thou say any other thing?  LV. 
Be it so.  DIO. 
And skarsite that that wanteth to furnish need?  LV. 
That same.  DIO. 
Therefore in my gear there wanteth nothing. For there is nothing in them that fornyssheth not my need.  LUCI. 
How provest thou that?  DIO. 
Thou shalt know/ if thou consider to what purpose e●●●●●● those things was ordained, whereof we have need, as a house, is it not for to cover?  LV. 
It is true.  DIO. 
And a gown for what purpose? is it not also for to cover?  LV. 
Of a surety.  DIO. 
And by thy truth wherefore needeth covering, is it not that it should be the better, that is covered?  LV. 
Me thinketh so.  DIO. 
Whither then seem unto the these feet the worse for that they are bare?  LV. 
I can not tell.  DIO. 
Thou shalt know it by this way/ whereto serveth feet?  LV. 
For to go.  DIO. 
Dost thou think than my feet go worse than others feet.  LV. 
I think not.  DIO. 
But whither they be better or worse/ can they not do that that they were ordained for?  LV. 
I think well.  DIO. 
Seemeth it than my feet be no worse than others?  LV. 
It seemeth well.  DIO. 
And what my body/ ●●y worse than others? if it were any worse, it should be weaker/ for the virtue of the body is strength: is mine then weaker?  LV. 
It seemeth not.  DIO. 
Than seemeth it that neither my feet nor my body needeth any covering. For if they needed/ they should be the worse. For need is evermore ill, and maketh them the worse/ with whom it dwelleth. Nor it seemeth that my body is the worse nourished, for that it is nourished with all manner of meats.  LV. 
It is clear.  DIO. 
For it should neither be nimble nor strong, if it were ill nourished, for ill nourysshementes weaken the body.  LV. 
All this is of surety.  DIO. 
sins it is so, wherefore dost thou rebuke me, and blamest my life, and callest it wretched?  LV. 
By god because that sins Nature (whom thou worshippest) and the God's have ordained the earth in common, and out of it have brought many and good things/ that we should have all things plenteously, not only for need, but also for delight: yet thou of all these things, or at the lest of the most part, lesist thy part, and usest none of them no more than beasts. For thou drinkest water, and so do beasts: thou eatest what so ever thou findest, as do dogs: and thy bed is no better than a dogs kennel, for straw sufficeth thee/ as well as them: and thou wearest a cloak no better than a beggars. And if it be so, that it be wisely done, to be content with these things, truly god hath not done well. first in making fat sheep, than vinis to bear sweet wine/ and all other stuff of marvelous diversity/ both oil and honey, and other things, that we should have all things, that we should have all manner of meatis, that we should have sweet drinks, money, and soft beds, and also fair houses, and all other things ordained after a marvelous sort. For the fruits of crafts be also the gifts of the God's. But to live wanting all these goods, truly were wretchedness, ye if thou shouldest want any of them. As they that are kept in prison: and moche more wretched/ if a man would bereave himself of all good things. For that is plain madness.  DIO. 
It is well said peradventure. But tell me this, when a rich man maketh a gladsome and a gentle long feast, and receiveth many guests of all sorts/ some weak, some strong, and setteth afore them many things, and of all sorts, if any man would snatch all thing/ and devour all thing/ not only that that is next him, but that also that is further from him/ ordained for sick men/ and he himself hole/ since he hath but one belly/ and needeth not many things to nourish him/ and yet tarrieth longer than many other, what manner of man thinkest thou such a one? is he good?  LV. 
I think not.  DIO. 
Is he temperate?  LV. 
Nother.  DI. 
But what if another that sittith at the same table/ and regardeth not those many diverse dishes, choosing some one of those that is next him, when it is enough for his need, eatith that honestly/ and not looketh upon the other things/ wilt thou not think him more temperate/ and better than other?  LV. 
I would in deed.  DIO. 
Dost thou understand me than/ or must I tell thee?  LV. 
What?  DI. 
That god is like him, that maketh the goodly feast/ as he that hath prepared, many, diverse, and all manner of things/ that every man should have that that were meet for him/ some things for hole men, other things for sick men/ some things for strong men, and other for week men/ not that every man should use every thing/ but that each man should use those things that are meet for his nature, and those/ whereof he shall have need. But you resemble him, that by greediness and untemperance snatcheth all thing/ as men that would use all things/ gotten every where, not content with that only, that is afore you/ weening that your own country and see can not suffice you, but bringing delights from the farthest end of the world, preferring strange things afore things of your own country/ wasteful things afore measurable things, and those things that are hard to be gotten/ afore those that are easy. And at a word ye choose rather cares and troubles/ than to live without trouble. But this diverse, precious, and fortunate provisions, wherein ye triumph, bring unto you great wretchedness and mischieffe. Considre if thou list that same gold and silver, consider these costly houses, consider this goodly wrought apparel, and all kind of such things, with what business they are bought, with how many labours, perils, ye and with blood and slaughter, and with how many dethiss of man kind/ not only that in sailing many do perish for these things, and in seeking them suffer grievous things/ but also that they breed fightings/ and that for them one lithe in await to an other, friends to friends, children to their fathers, and wives to their husbands. So I think Eriphyles for gold did betray her husband. And all these things is thus, though that divers apparel maketh one no whit warmer, and those gilted buildings covers not the better, nor those cups of silver. Nor yet those beds of gold, and of ivory, giveth not a sweeter sleep/ ye thou shalt see oft times, in an ivory bed & under a costly covering, those blessed folk can take no sleep at all. More over those diverse dreslinges of meatis/ nourish not the more/ but weken the body rather, and engendereth sickenessis. What needeth it to show what troubles men both do and suffer/ for their lust? and yet it is easy to remedy this desire, outcept one would give himself to favour delights. But yet this madness and naughtiness sufficeth not to men/ but now they misuse the use of things/ using every thing to that purpose that it was lest ordained for/ as though a man would use a bed for a cart.  LUC. 
Who doth so?  DIO. 
you I say/ that use men like beasts/ for ye make them carry your litters like carts in their necks: and you sit aloft delicate, and drive men like assis, commanding them hider and thither/ and ye that most do these things, seem most happy. And they also that use fishes not only for meatis/ but also devise certain dyings out of them/ those I say that die purple, do not they use these things against nature, that are ordained of god?  LV. 
Why no for god, for the purpur fish serveth also to die/ and not only to eat.  DIO. 
But yet it was not ordained for that. For so a man may writhe a gredierne to make it serve in stead of a pot/ but it was not therefore ordained: but how may any man oversee all their unhappiness/ that is so great? And yet thou accusest me for that I will be no partner of it. yet I live as doth that same sober man, that is to say, eating only that that is set afore me, and using most necessary things: and not gaping after those divers things of all sorts. And so where I need little and use not many things, the seemeth I led a beastly life. And by this reason there is doubt, that the God's be not worse than beasts, as they that need nothing. But to th'end thar thou mayst better understand/ what manner of thing, each of these is, that is to say to need few things/ or many things/ consider first that children need more than youngmen/ and women more than men, than sick men more than hole, and always in conclusion lower things need more than their betters. Therefore the God's need nothing/ and they that are next unto the God's, need lest. Hercules that was the chiefist of all men/ a godly man, and of right, thought to be a god, thinkest thou/ that he was than wretched, when he went up and down naked, wearing only a skin, nothing coveting of our things? But truly he was not wretched/ for he put wretchedness from other: nor yet was he poor, for he ruled both upon see and land. For where so ever he did assault, he overcame on every side, nor in his time he chanced upon none/ that might other match him, or overcome him, while he lived. And thinkest thou that he wanted apparel or shows? and that therefore he wandredde abroad in the world? Truly it can not be said: but he was constant and strong, and would live temperately, and not give him to delights.  
¶ What was Theseus his companion? Was he not king of all the athenians? and as they say, son of Neptunus, and noblist of his time? ye he also would go barefoot and naked, and it pleased him to nourish his beard and his bush/ nor him only/ but it pleased all thancient men, and they were better than you, and they would not have suffered any such thing/ no more than a lion would suffer himself to be clipped. For they thought tenderness of flesh and smothenes became women/ and they as they were men, so they would seem/ and thought a beard to be the apparel of a man, as a maane for a horse/ and a beard for a lion/ god hath given for a beauty of a certain goodliness of apparel, so unto men he hath given a beard. Therefore them I follow, those ancient men I say will I follow: and I envy not the men of this age, in their name of marvelous blessedness, which they have in meat and apparel, sins they polish and smothen all the parts of their body/ and suffer not so much as that that should be secret, to grow according to nature. But I would wish my self to have horse feet, as they say Chiron had: and that need no more apparel than lions, nor more delicate meat than dogs. Let me more over be in that case, that every manner of bare earth, suffice me for my bed/ and that I may take the world for my house/ and that I may choose such meats/ that may easily be gotten. But gold and silver let me never desire, neither I nor and of my friends. For all mischiffes cometh unto men out of the desires of them, both treasons, wars/ awaits/ and mourders. All these things springe out of the well of desire of more. But god save us from these things/ & that never I desire more than enough: and when I have less, that I may suffer with even mind. our things be of this sort/ of a surety these things are far from the comen opinion. And it is not to be meruiled, if we differ from them in apparel/ from whom we differ so far in order of life. But I wonder of thee, that where thou a lowest unto a minstrel/ his certain fashion and apparel, and unto a tabretor his, and unto a player his/ unto a good man thou allowest no proper fashion and apparel. And if it be so, that there be any fashion or custom of good men/ what is more meeter than this that I use/ that unto waist full folk is most shameful? and unto which they are most against? My custom & fashion than is, to be swetye/ and rough/ to were an old cloak/ to let my here grow/ and to go barefoot. And yours is most like unto the fashion of these bougerons/ and a man can not know you from them, neither by your apparel/ nor by tenderness, nor in change of shirts, nor in cloaks/ nor in pretty shows/ nor in trimming of your here, nor in savour. For ye are perfumed like them, even you that are so blessed. But what when a man smell like a bougeron? ye and in suffrans of lalabour ye are no better than they: and with delights ye are overcomen as well as they, ye feed as they do/ ye sleep and go on the same fashion/ ye you will not go, but rather be carried/ as though ye were ferdels, some upon men, some upon beasts. And me my feet do carry whither so ever I need. And I can suffer cold and heat, and that that god sendeth withouten grudge, that is to say because I am a wretch. And you, because of this blessedness, are content with no fortune, but ye are weary of all things/ and can not suffer that that now is, and desires that that is to come, in winter wishing for summer, and in heat for cold/ and again in cold for heat, wayward and plaining as sick men/ which thing is caused by sickness in them, and by conditions in you. And though it be thus, yet ye think it meet/ to bring us unto your life/ and to corrupt ours, where as oftentimes the things that ye do, are ill counselid, and you yourself in your own businessis are not all of the best providers/ and do nothing of them by judgement and reason/ but by custom of desire. Wherefore of troth ye differ nothing from them that are carried with the stream. For they are carried whither so ever the flood wool/ and you whither as lustis will. And it is like with you as with him, that had leapt upon a wild horsis back, the horse ran carrying the man away: And he might not now a light/ the horse running/ one met with him, and asked him whither he went? He answered, whither as he will/ and pointed the horse: so if any man ask you, whither are ye carried/ if ye will say truth, ye shall say in general, thither as affections led me, and particularly some time thither as lust leadeth me, sometime thither as desire of glory, & sometime thither as desire of gaingne: sometime also anger, sometime fere/ sometime such other like seemeth to carry you away. For ye leap not only upon an horse, but upon many/ now upon this, now upon other ye are carried away, and all are wild. And yet afore ye fall ye know not that ye shall fall, but this old clock/ that ye mock/ and my here/ and my fashion, is of such power, that it giveth me a quiet life/ that I may do what I will, and company with whom I will. For of foolish and unlearned folk none will come unto me: for by cause of this fashion. And they that ye are of tender life/ withdraw them far from me. We meet to guider men of knowledge and temperate folk/ and they that desire virtue, they chiefly company with me/ and in these men's company I delight. I wait not at their doors/ that are but called men: and crowns of gold and purple, I take for pride, and mock those men. But that thou mayst understand/ that this fashion is not only meet for good men, but also for the God's, and than mock it if thou list, consider the images of the God's/ whither they be liker you than me, and look not only, in the churches of the Greeks/ but in those also of other countries, if the God's be painted and made bushed/ and berd as I am/ or else shaven as you ar. And thou shalt see many of them coteles as I am now. How darest thou from hens forth dispraise this fashion, when it seemeth to be meet also for the gods.  
The end.