¶ Euphues and his England, CONTAINING. his voyage and adventures, mixed with sundry pretty discourses of honest Love, the description of the country, the Court, and the manners of that Isle.  
DELIGHTFUL TO be read, and nothing hurtful to be regarded: wherein there is small offence by lightness glven to the wise, and less occasion of looseness proffered to the wanton.  
¶ By john Lyly, Master of Arte.  Commend it, or amend it. 
❧ Imprinted at London for Gabriel Cawood, dwelling in Paul's Churchyard. 1580.   


VERO NIHIL VERIUS   blazon or coat of arms   

❧ To the Right Honourable my very good Lord and Master, Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxenford, Viscount Bulbecke, Lord of Escales and Badlesmere, and Lord great Chamberlain of England, john Lyly wisheth long life, with increase of honour.  
THe first picture that Phidias the first Painter shadowed, was the protraiture of his own person, saying thus: if it be well, I will paint many besides Phydias, if ill, it shall offend none but Phydias.  
In the like manner fareth it with me (Right Honourable) who never before handling the pencil, did for my first counterfeit, colour mine own Euphues, being of this mind, that if it were liked, I would draw more besides Euphues, if loathed, grieve none but Euphues.  
Since that, some there have been that either dissembling the faults they saw, for fear to discourage me, or not examining them, for the love they bore me, that praised mine old work, and urged me to make a new, whose words I thus answered. If I should coin a worse, it would be thought that the former was framed by chance, as Protogenes did the foam of his dog, if a better, for flattery, as Narsissus did, who only was in love, with his own face, if none at all, as froward as the Musician, who being entreated, will scarce sing sol fa, but not desired, strain above Ela.  
But their importunity admitted no excuse, in somuch that I was enforced to prefer their friendship before mine own fame, being more careful to satisfy their requests, then fearful of others reports: so that at the last I was content to set another face to Euphues, but yet just behind the other, like the Image of lanus, not running together, like the Hopplitides of Parrhasius lest they should seem so unlike Brothers, that they might be both thought bastards, the picture whereof I yield as common for all to view, but the patronage only to your Lordship, as able to defend, knowing that the face of Alexander stamped in Copper doth make it currant, that the name of Caesar, wrought in Canvas, is esteemed as Cambric, that the very feather of an Eagle, is of force to consume the Beetle.  
I have brought into the world two children, of the first I was delivered, before my friends thought me conceived, of the second I went a whole year big, and yet when every one thought me ready to lie down, I did then quicken: But good housewives shall make my excuse, who know that Hens do not lay eggs when they clucke, but when they cackle, nor men set forth books when they promise, but when they perform. And in this I resemble the Lappwing, who fearing her young ones to be destroyed by passengers, flieth with a false cry far from their nests, making those that look for them seek where they are not: So I suspecting that Euphues would be carped of some curious Reader, thought by some false show to bring them in hope of that which then I meant not, leading them with a longing of a second part, that they might speak well of the first, being never farther from my study, then when they thought me hovering over it.  
My first burden coming before his time, must needs be a blind whelp, the second brought forth after his time must needs be a monster▪ the one I sent to a noble man to nurse, who with great love brought him up, for a year: so that wheresoever ho wander, he hath his Nurse's name in his forehead, where sucking his first milk, he cannot forget his first Master.  
The other (right Honourable) being but yet in his swath clouts, I commit most humbly to your Lordship's protection, that in his infancy he may be kept by your good care from falls, and in his youth by your great countenance shielded from blows, and in his age by your gracious continuance, defended from contempt. He is my youngest and my last, and the pain that I sustained for him in travel, hath made me past teeming, yet do I think myself very fertile, in that I was not altogether barren. Glad I was to send them both abroad, least making a wanton of my first, with a blind conceit, I should resemble the Ape, and kill it by culling it, and not able to rule the second, I should with the Viper, lose my blood, with mine own brood. Twins they are not, but yet brothers, the one nothing resembling the other, and yet (as all children are▪ now a days) both like the father. Wherein I am not unlike unto the unskilful Painter, who having drawn the Twins of Hypocrates, (who were as like as one pease is to an other) & being told of his friends that they were no more like than Saturn and Apollo, he had no other shift to manifest what his work was, then over their heads to write: The Twins of Hypocrates. So may it be, that had I not named Euphues, few would have thought it had been Euphues, not that in goodness the one so far excelleth the other, but that both being so bad, it is hard to judge which is the worst.  
This unskilfulness is no ways to be covered, but as Accius did his shortness, who being a little Poet, framed for himself a great picture, & I being a naughty Painter have gotten a most noble Patron: being of Ulysses' mind, who thought himself safe under the Shield of Ajax.  
I have now finished both my labours, the one being hatched in the hard winter with the Halcyon, the other not daring to bud till the cold were passed, like the Mulberry, in either of the which or in both, if I seem to glean after an others Cart, for a few ears of corn, or of the tailors shreds to make me a livery, I will not deny, but that I am one of those Poets, which the painters feign to come unto Homer's basin, there to lap up, that he doth cast up.  
In that I have written, I desire no praise of others but patience, altogether unwilling, because every way unworthy to be accounted a workman.  
It sufficeth me to be a water bough no bud, so I may be of the same root: to be the iron, not steel, so I be in the same blade: to be vinegar not wine, so I be in the same cask: to grind colours for Appelles, though I cannot garnish, so I be of the same shop. What I have done, was only to keep myself from sleep, as the Crane doth the stone in her foot, and I would also with the same crane I had been silent holding a stone in my mouth.  
But it falleth out with me, as with the young wrestler, that came to the games of Olympia, who having taken a foil, thought scorn to leave, till he had received a fall, or him that being pricked in the finger with a Bramble, thrusteth his whole arm among the thorns for anger. For I seeing myself not able to stand on the ice, did nevertheless adventure to run, and being with my first book stricken into disgrace, could not cease until I was brought into contempt by the second: wherein I resemble those, that having once wet their feet, care not how deep they wade.  
In the which my wading (right Honourable) if the envious shall clap lead to my heels to make me sink, yet if your Lordship with your little finger do but hold me up by the chin, I shall swim, and be so far from being drowned, that I shall scarce be ducked.  
When Bucephalus was painted, Appelles craved the judgement of none but Zeuxis: when jupiter was carved, Prisius asked the censure of none but Lysippus: now Euphues is shadowed, only I appeal to your honour, not meaning thereby to be careless what others think, but knowing that if your Lordship allow it, there is none but will like it, & if there be any so nice, whom nothing can please, if he will not commend it, let him amend it.  
And here right Honourable, although the History seem unperfect, I hope your Lordship will pardon it.  
Appelles' died not before he could finish Venus, but before he durst. Nichomachus left Tindarides rawly, for fear of anger, not for want of Art. Timomachus broke off Medea scarce half coloured, not that he was not willing to end it, but that he was threatened: I have not made Euphues to stand without legs, for that I want matter to make them, but might to maintain them: so that I am enforced with the old painters to colour my picture but to the middle, or as he that drew Ciclops, who in a little table made him to lie behind an Oak, where one might perceive but a piece, yet conceive that all the rest lay behind the tree, or as he that painted an horse in the river with half legs, leaving the pasterns for the viewer to imagine as in the water.  
For he that vieweth Euphues, will say that he is drawn but to the waist, that he peepeth as it were behind some screen, that his feet are yet in the water: which maketh me present your Lordship, with the mangled body of Hector, as it appeared to Andromache, & with half a face, as the painter did him that had but one eye, for I am compelled to draw a hose on, before I can finish the leg, & in steed of a foot, to set down a shoe, So that whereas I had thought to show the cunning of a Chirurgeon, by mine Anatomy with a knife, I must play the Tailor on the shop board, with a pair of shears, But whether Euphues lympe with Vulcan, as born lame, or go on stilts with Amphionax, for lack of legs, I trust I may say, that his feet should have been old Helena: for the poor Fisherman that was warned he should not fish, did yet at his door make nets, and the old Vintner of Venice, that was forbidden to sell wine, did notwithstanding hang out an ivy bush. This Pamphlet right honourable containing the estate of England, I know none more fit to defend it, than one of the Nobility of England, nor any of the Nobility, more ancient or more honourable than your Lordship, besides that, describing the condition of the English court, & the majesty of our dread Sovereign, I could not find one more noble in court, than your Honour, who is or should be under her Majesty chiefest in court, by birth borne to the greatest Office, & therefore me thought by right to be placed in great authority: for who so compareth the honour of your L. noble house, and the fidelity of your ancestors, may well say, which no other can truly gainsay, Vero nihil v●rius. So that I commit the end of all my pains unto your most honourable protection, assuring myself that the little Cockboat is safe, when it is hoist into a tall ship, that the Cat dare not fetch the mouse of the Lion's den, that Euphues shall be without danger by your L. patronage, otherwise, I cannot see, where I might find succour in any noble parsonage. Thus praying continually for the increase of your Lordship's honour, with all other things that either you would wish, or God will grant, I end.  
Your Lordship's most dutifully to command. LOHN LYLY.   

¶ TO THE LADIES and Gentlewomen of England, john Lyly wisheth what they would.  
ARachne having woven in cloth of Arras, a Rainbow of sundry styxes, it was objected unto her by a Lady more captious than cunning, that in her work there wanted some colours, for that in a Rainbow there should be all: Unto whom she replied, if the colours lack thou lookest for, thou must imagine that they are on the other side of the cloth: For in the Sky we can discern but one side of the Rainbow, and what colours are in the other, see we cannot, guess we may.  
In the like manner (Ladies and Gentle women) am I to shape an answer in the behalf of Euphues, who framing divers questions and quirks of love, if by some more curious than needeth, it shall be told him, that some sleights are wanting, I must say they are noted on the backside of the book. When Venus is painted, we cannot see her back, but her face, so that all other things that are to be recounted in love, Euphues thinketh them to hang at Venus' back in a budget, which because he cannot see, he will not set down.  
These discourses I have not clapped in a cluster, thinking with myself, that Ladies had rather be sprinkled with sweet water, then washed, so that I have solved them here and there, like Strawberries, not in heaps, like Hops: knowing that you take more delight, to gather flowers one by one in a garden, then to snatch them by handfuls from a Garland.  
It resteth Ladies, that you take the pains to read it, but at such times, as you spend in playing with your little Dogs, and yet will I not pinch you of that pastime, for I am content that your Dogs lie in your laps, so Euphues may be in your hands, that when you shall be weary in reading of the one, you may be ready to sport with the other: or handle him as you do your junkets, that when you can eat no more, you tie some in your napkin for children, for if you be filled with the first part, put the second in your pocket for your waiting maids: Euphues had rather lie shut in a Lady's casket, then open in a scholars study.  
Yet after dinner, you may overlook him to keep you from sleep, or if you be heavy, to bring you a sleep, for to work upon a full stomach is against Physic, and therefore better it were to hold Euphues in your hands, though you let him fall, when you be willing to wink, then to sow in a clout, and prick your fingers, when you begin to nod.  
Whatsoever he hath written, it is not to flatter, for he never reaped any reward by your sex, but repentance, neither can it be to mock you, for he never knew any thing by your sex but righteousness.  
But I fear no anger for saying well, when there is none, but thinketh she deserveth better.  
She that hath no glass to dress her head, will use a hole of water, she that wanteth a sléeke-stone to smooth her linen, will take a pebble: the country dame girdeth herself as strait in the waist with a course caddis, as the Madam of the court with a silk ribbon, so that seeing every one so willing to be pranked, I could not think any one unwilling to be praised.  
One hand washeth another, but they both wash the face, one foot goeth by an other, but they both carry the body, Euphues and Phylautus praise one an other, but they both extol women: Therefore in my mind you are more beholding to Gentlemen that make the colours, then to the Painters, that draw your counterfeits: for that Appelles' cunning is nothing if he paint with water, and the beauty of women not much if they go unpraised.  
If you think this love dreamt, not done, yet me thinketh you may as well like that love which is penned and not practised, as that flower that is wrought with the needle, and groweth not by nature, the one you wear in your heads, for the fair sight, though it have no savour, the other you may read for to pass the time, though it bring small pastime.  
You choose cloth that will wear whitest, not that will last longest, colours that look freshest, not that endure soundest, and I would you would read books that have more show of pleasure, than ground of profit, than should Euphues be as often in your hands, being but a toy, as Lawn on your heads, being but trash, the one will be scarce liked after once reading, and the other is worn out after the first washing.  
There is nothing lighter than a feather, yet is it set a fit in a woman's hat, nothing slighter than hair, yet is it most frilled in a Lady's head, so that I am in good hope, though their be nothing of less account than Euphues, yet he shall be marked with ladies eyes, and liked sometimes in their ears: For this I have diligently observed, that there shall be nothing found, that may offend the rhast mind with unseemly terms, or uncleanly talk.  
Then Ladies I commit myself to your courtesies, traving this only, that having read, you conceal your censure, writing your judgements as you do the posies in your rings, which are always next to the finger, not to be seen of him that holdeth you by the hands, and yet known to you that wear them on your hands: If you be wrung (which cannot be done without wrong) it were better to cut the shoe, then burn the last.  
If a Tailor make your gown too little, you cover his fault with a broad stomacher, if too great, with a number of plights, if too short, with a fair guard, if to long, with a false gathering, my trust is you will deal in the like manner with Euphues, that if he have not feed your humour, yet you will excuse him more than the Tailor: for could Euphues take the measure of a woman's mind, as the Tailor doth of her body, he would go as near to fit them for a fancy, as the other doth for a fashion.  
He that weighs wind, must have a steady hand to hold the balance, and he that searcheth a woman's thoughts must have his own stayed. But lest I make my Epistle as you do your newfound bracelets, endless, I will frame it like a bullet, which is no sooner in the mould but it is made. Committing your Ladyships to the Almighty, who grant you all you would have, and should have: so your wishes stand with his will. And so humbly I bid you farewell.  
Your Ladyships to command JOHN LYLY.   

¶ To the Gentlemen Readers.  
GEntlemen, Euphues is come at the length though to late, for whose absence, I hope three bad excuses, shall stand in steed of one good reason.  
First in his travail, you must think he loitered, tarrying many a month in Italy viewing the Ladies in a Painter's shop, when he should have been on the Seas in a merchants ship, not unlike unto an idle housewife, who is catching of flies, when she should sweep down cobwebs.  
Secondly being a great start from Athens to England, he thought to stay for the advantage of a Leap year, and had not this year leapt with him, I think he had not yet leapt hither.  
Thirdly being arrived, he was as long in viewing of London, as he was in coming to it, not far differing from Gentlewomen, who are longer a dressing their heads than their whole bodies.  
But now he is come Gentlemen, my request is only to bid him welcome, for divers there are, not that they mislike the matter, but that they hate the man, that will not stick to tear Euphues, because they do enure Lyly: Wherein they resemble angry Dogs, which bite the stone, not him that throweth it, or the cholaricke Horserider, who being cast from a young Colt, & not daring to kill the Horse, went into the stable to cut the saddle.  
These be they, that thought Euphues to be drowned and yet were never troubled with drying of his clothes, but they guessed as they wished, and I would it had happened as they desired.  
They that loathe the fountains head, will never drink of the little Brooks: they that seek to poison the Fish, will never eat the spawme: they that like not me, will not allow any thing that is mine.  
But as the Serpent Porphirius, though he be full of poison, yet having no teeth hurteth none but himself, so the envious, though they swell with malice till they burst, yet having no teeth to bite, I have no cause to fear.  
Only my suit is to you Gentlemen, that if any thing be amiss, you pardon it: if well, you defend it: and howsoever it be, you accept it.  
Faults escaped in the Printing, correct with your pens: omitted by my negligence, overslip with patience: committed by ignorance, remit with favour.  
If in every part it seem not alike, you know that it is not for him that fashioneth the shoe, to make the grain of the leather.  
The old Hermit will have his talk savour of his Cell, the old Courtier, his love taste of Saturn, yet the last Lover may happily come somewhat near jupiter.  
lovers when they come into a Garden, some gather Nettles, some Roses, one Time, an other Sage, and every one, that, for his ladies favour, that she favoureth: insomuch as there is no Weed almost, but it is worn. If you Gentlemen, do the like in reading, I shall be sure all my discourses shall be regarded, some for the smell, some for the smart, all for a kind of a loving smack: Let every one follow his fancy, and say that is best, which he liketh best. And so commit every man's delight to his own choice, & myself to all your courtesies.  
Yours to use, john Lyly.   

Euphues and his England.  
EVphues having gotten all things necessary for his voyage into England, accompanied only with Phylautus, took shipping the first of December 1579. by our English Computation: Who as one resolved to see that with his eyes, which he had oftentimes heard with his ears, began to use this persuasion with his friend Phylautus, aswell to counsel him how he should behave himself in England, as to comfort him being now on the Seas.  
As I have sound thee willing to be a fellow in my travail, so would I have thee ready to be a follower of my counsel: in the one shalt thou show thy good will, in the other manifest thy wisdom. We are now sailing into an Island, of small compass, as I guess by their Maps, but of great civility, as I hear by their matters, which if it be so, it behoveth us to be more inq●isttiue of their conditions, then of their country, ● more dareful to mark the natures of their men, then curious to note the situation of the place. And surely me thinketh we cannot better bestow our time on the Sea, then in advice how to behave ourselves when we come to the shore: for greater danger is there to arrive in a strange country where the inhabitants be politic, then to be tossed with the troublesome waves, where the Mariners be unskilful. Fortune guideth men in the rough Sea, but wisdom ruleth them in a strange land.  
If travailers in this our age were as wary of their conditions, as they be venturous of their bodies, or an willing to reap pros●te by their pai●e●, as they are to endure peril for their pleasure, they would either prefer their own soil before a strange land, or good counsel before their own conceit. But as the young scholar in Athens went to hear Demosthenes' eloquence at Corinth, and was entangled with Lais beauty, so most of our travailers which pretend to get a smack of strange language to sharpen their wits, are infected with vanity by following their wills. Danger and delight grow both upon one stalk, the Rose and the Canker in one bud, white and black are commonly in one border. Seeing then my good Phylautus, that we are not to conquer wild beasts by fight, but to confer with wise men by policy: we ought to take greater heed that we be not entrapped in folly, then fear to be subdued by force. And here by the way it shall not be amiss, aswell to drive away the tediousness of time, as to delight ourselves with talk, to rehearse an old treatise of an ancient Hermit, who meeting with a Pilgrim at his Cell, uttered a strange and delightful tale, which if thou Phylautus art disposed to hear, and these present attentive to have, I will spend some time about it, knowing it both fit for us that be travailers to learn wit, and not unfit for these that be merchants to get wealth.  
Phylautus although the stumps of love so sticked in his mind, that he rather wished to hear an Eelegie in Ovid, than a tale of an Hermit: yet was he willing to lend his care to his friend, who had left his heart with his Lady, for you shall understand that Phylautus having read the cooling Card which Euphues sent him, sought rather to answer it, then allow it. And I doubt not but if Phylautus fall into his old vain in England, you shall hear of his new device in Italy. And although some shall think it impertinent to the history, they shall not find it repugnant, no more then in one nosegay to set two flowers, or in one counterfeit two colours, which bringeth more delight than disliking.  
Phylautus answered Euphues in this manner.  
MY good Euphues, I am as willing to hear thy tale, as I am to be partaker of thy travail, yet I know not how it cometh to pass, that my eyes are either heavy against foul weather, or my head so drowsy against some ill news, that this tale shall come in good time to bring me a sleep, and then shall I get no harm by the Hermit, though I get no good, the other that were then in the ship, flocked about Euphues, who began in this manner.  
THere dwell sometimes in the Island Scyrum, an ancient Gentleman called Cassander, who aswell by his being a long gatherer, as his trade being a lewd usurer, warred so wealthy, that he was thought to have almost all the money in that country in his own coffers, being both aged and sickly, found such weakness in himself, that he thought nature would yield to death, and physic to his diseases▪ This Gentleman had one only son, who nothing resembled the father either in fancy or favour, which the old man perceiving, disse●ilised with him both in nature and honesty, whom he caused to be called unto his bedsid, and the chamber being boyded, he broke with him in these terms.  
Callimachus (for so was he called) thou art too young to die, and I too old to live: yet as nature must of necessity pay her debt to death▪ so must she also show her devotion to thee, whom I alive had to be the comfort of mine age, and whom alone I must leave behind me, for to be the only maintainer of all mine honour. If thou couldst aswell conceive the care of a father, as I can level at the nature of a child, or were I as able to utter my affection towards a son as thou oughtest to show thy duty to thy ●ire, then wouldst thou desire my life to enjoy my counsel, and I should correct thy life to amend thy conditions: yet so tempered, as neither rigour might detract any thing from affection in me, or fear any whit from thee, in duty. But seeing myself so feeble that I cannot live to be thy guide, I am resolved to give thee such counsel as may do thee good, wherein I shall show my care, and discharge my duty.  
My good Son, thou art to receive by my death, wealth, and by my counsel wisdom, and I would thou wert as willing to imprint the one in thy heart, as thou wilt be ready to bear the other in thy purse: To be rich is the gift of Fortune, to be wise the grace of God. Have more mind on thy books then thy bags, more desire of godliness than gold, greater affection to die well, then to live wanton.  
But as the Cypress tree, the more it is watered, the more it withereth, and the oftener it is lopped, the sooner it dieth: so unbridled youth, the more it is also by grave advice counseled, or due correction controlled, the sooner it falleth to confusion, hating all reasons that would bring it from folly, as that tree doth all remedies, that should make it fertile.  
Alas Callimachus, when wealth cometh into the hands of youth before they can use it, then fall they to all disorder that may be, tedding that with a fork in one year, which was not gathered together with a rake in twenty.  
But why discourse I with thee of worldly affairs, being myself going to heaven, here Callimachus take the key of yonder great barred chest, where thou shalt find such store of wealth, that if thou use it with discretion, thou shalt become the only rich man of the world. Thus turning him on the left side, with a deep sigh and pitiful groan gave up the ghost.  
Callimachus having more mind to look to the lock, then for a shrowdinge sheet, the breath being scarce out of his father's mouth, and his body yet panting with heat, opened the Chest, where he found nothing but a letter written very fair, sealed up with his Signet of arms, with this superscription.  
¶ In finding nothing, thou shalt gain all things.  
Callimachus, although he were abashed at the fight of the empty Chest, yet hoping this letter would direct him to the golden Mine, he boldly opened it, the contents whereof followed in these terms.  
Wisdom is great wealth. Sparing is good getting. Thrift consisteth not in gold, but grace. It is better to die without money, then to live without modesty. Put no more clothes on thy back, then will expel cold: neither any more meat in thy belly, then may quench hunger. Use not channge in attire, nor variety in thy diet: the one bringeth pride, the other surfeits. Each vain, void of piety: both costly, wide of profit.  
Go to bed with the Lamb, and rise with the Lark: Late watching in the night, breedeth unquiet: and long sleeping in the day ungodliness: Fly both: this, as unwholesome: that as unhonest.  
Enter not into bands, no not for thy best friends: he that payeth an other man's debt, seeketh his own decay, it is as rare to see a rich Surety, as a black Swan, and he that dareth to all that will borrow, showeth great good will, but little wit. Lend not a penny without a pawn, for that will be a good gage to borrow. Be not hasty to marry, it is better to have one plough going, than two cradles: and more profit to have a barn filled, than a bed. But if thou canst not live chastened, choose such an one, as may be more commended for humility, than beauty. A good housewife is a great patrimony: & she is most honourable, that is most honest. If thou desire to be old, beware of too much wine: If to be healthy take heed of many women: If to be rich, shun playing at all games. Long quaffing, maketh a short life: Fond lust, causeth dry bones: and lewd pastimes, naked purses. Let the Cook be thy Physician, and the shambles thy Apothecary's shop: He that for every qualm will take a Receipt, and cannot make two meals, unless Galen be his Gods good: shall be sure to make the Physician rich, & himself a beggar, his body will never be without diseases, & his purse ever without money.  
Be not too lavish in giving alms, the charity of this Country, is, God help thee: and the courtesy, I have the best wine in town for you.  
Live in the country, not in the Court, where neither grass will grow, nor Moss cleave to thy heels.  
Thus hast thou if thou canst use it, the whole wealth of the world, and he that cannot follow good counsel, never can get commodity. I leave thee more, than my father left me, for he dying gave me great wealth, without care how I might keep it, & I give thee good counsel, with all means how to get riches. And no doubt, what so is gotten with wit, will be kept with wariness, and increased with wisdom.  
God bless thee, and I bless thee: and as I tender thy safety, so God deal with my soul.  
Callimachus was strooken into such a maze at this his father's last Will, that he had almost lost his former wit: And being in an extreme rage, renting his clothes and tearing his hair, began to utter these words.  
IS this the Nature of a father to deceive his son, or the part of crabbed age to delude credulous youth? Is the death bed, which ought to be the end of devotion, become the beginning of deceit? Ah Cassander, friend I cannot term thee, seeing thee so unkind, and Father I will not call thee, whom I find so unnatural.  
Who so shall hear of this ungratefulness will rather lament thy dealing then thy death, and marvel that a man affected outwardly with such great gravity, should inwardly be infected with so great guile. Shall I then show the duty of a child, when thou hast forgotten the Nature of a Father? No, no, for as the Torch turned downward is extinguished with the self same wax, which was the cause of his light: so Nature turned to unkindness, is quenched by those means it should be kindled, leaving no branch of love, where it found no root of humanity.  
Thou hast carried to thy grave more grey hairs, than years: and yet more years, than virtues. Couldst thou under the Image of so precise holiness, harbour the express pattern of barbarous cruelty? I see now that as the Canker soon entereth into the white Rose, so corruption doth eassiest creep into the white head.  
Would Callimachus could as well digest thy malice with patience, as thou didst disguise it with craft: or would & might either bury my care with thy carcase, or that thou hadst ended thy defame with thy death. But as the herb Moly hath a flower as white as snow, and a root as black as ink, so age hath a white head showing piety, but a black heart swelling with mischief. Whereby I see that old men are not unlike unto old Trees, whose barks seemeth to be sound, when their bodies are rotten.  
I will mourn, not that thou art now dead, but because thou hast lived so long, neither do I weep to see thee without breath, but to find thee without money. In steed of coin thou hast left me counsel: O politic old man. Didst thou learn by experience, that an edge can be any thing worth, if it have nothing to cut, or that Miners could work without metals, or wisdom thrius without wherewith.  
What availeth it to be a cunning Lapidary, & have no stones? or a skilful Pilot, & have no ship? or a thrifty man, and have no money. Wisdom hath no Mint, Counsel is no coiner. He that in these days seeketh to get wealth by wit, without friends, is like unto him, that thinketh to buy meat in the Market, for honesty without money, which thriveth on either side so well, that the one hath a witty head, & an empty purse, the other a godly mind, and an empty belly.  
Yea, such a world it is, that Gods can do nothing without gold, and who of more might? nor Princes any thing without gifts, and who of more Majesty? nor Philosophers any thing without guilt, and who of more wisdom? For as among the Egyptians, there was no man esteemed happy, that had not a beast full of spots, so amongst us, there is none accounted wise, that hath not his purse full of gold. And hadst thou not loved money so well, thou wouldst never have lived so warily, and died so wickedly, who either burying thy treasure, dost hope to meet it in Hell, or borrowing it of the Devil, hast rendered him the whole, the interest whereof, I fear me cometh to no less, than the price of thy soul.  
But whether art thou carried Callimachus, rage can neither reduce thy father's life, nor recover his treasure. Let it suffice thee, that he was unkind, and thou unfortunate, that he is dead and heareth thee not, that thou art alive and profitest nothing.  
But what did my father think, that too much wealth would make me proud, and feared not too great misery would make me desperate? Whilst he was beginning a fresh to renew his complaints, & revile his parents, his kinsfolk assembled, who caused him to bridle his lavish tongue, although they marveled at his piteous tale: For it was well known to them all, that Cassander, had more money then half the country, and loved Callimachus better than his own self.  
Callimachus by the importunity of his allies, repressed his rage, sctting order for all things requisite for his father's funerals, who being brought with due reverence unto the grave, he returned home, making a short Inventory to his father's long Will. And having made ready money of such movables as were in his house, put both them and his house into his purse, resolving now with himself in this extremity, either with the hazard of his labour to gain wealth, or by misfortune to seek death, accounting it great shame to live without travail, as grief to be left without treasure, and although he were earnestly entreatred, as well by good proffers of gentle persuasions to wean himself from so desolate, or rather desperate life, he would not hearken either to his own commodities or their counsels: For seeing (said he) I am left heir to all the world▪ I mean to execute my authority, and claim my lands in all places of the world. Who now so rich as Callimachus▪ Who had as many revenues every where as in his own country? Thus being in a readiness to depart, appareled in all colours, as one fit for all companies, and willing to see all countries, journeyed three or four days very devoutly like a Pilgrim who straying out of his pathway, and somewhat weary, not used to such day labours, rested himself upon the side of a silver stream even almost in the ●grisping of the evening, where thinking to stcale a nap, began to close his eyes. As he was thus between slumbering and waking, he heard one cough piteously, which caused him to start, and seeing no creature, he searched diligently in every bush, and under every shrub, at the last he lighted on a little cave, where thrusting in his head, more bold than wise, he espied an old man clad all in grey, with a head as white as Alabaster▪ his h●arie beard hanging down well near to his knees; with him no earthly creature, saving only a Mouse sleeping in a Cat's ear.  
Over the fire this good old man sat, leaning his head to look into a little earthen vessel which stood by him.  
Callimachus delighted more than abashed at this strange sight, thought to see the manner of his host, before he would be his guest.  
This old man immediately took out of his pot certain roots, on the which he fed hungerly, having no other drink then fair water. But that which was most of all to be considered and noted, the Mouse and the Cat fell to their victuals, being such relics as the old man had left, yea and that so lovingly, as one would have thought them both married, judging the Mouse to be very wild, or the Cat very tame.  
Callimachus could not refrain laughter to behold the solemn feast, at the voice whereof the old man arose, and demanded who was there: unto whom Callimachus answered: Father, one that wisheth thee both greater cheer and better servants: unto whom he replied shoaring up his eyes, by jis son, I account the cheer good, which maintaineth health, and the servants honest, whom I find faithful. And if thou neither think scorn of my company nor my Cell, enter and welcome, the which offer Callimachus accepted with great thanks, who thought his lodging would be better than his supper.  
The next morning the old man being very inquisitive of Callimachus what he was, where he dwelled, and whether he would, Callimachus discoursed with him in particulars, as before, touching his father's death and despite, against whom he uttered so many bitter and burning words, as the old Hermittes ears gloed to hear them, and my tongue would blister if I should utter them.  
Moreover he added that he was determined to seek adventures in strange lands, and either to fetch the golden fleece by travail, or sustain the force of Fortune by his own wilful folly.  
Now Phylautus, thou shalt understand that this old Hermit, which was named also Cassander, was brother to Callimachus Father, and Uncle to Callimachus, unto whom Cassander had before his death conveyed the sum of ten thousand pounds▪ to the use of his son in his most extremity, and necessity, knowing or at the least foreseeing that his young colt will never bear a white mouth without a hard bridle. Also he assured himself▪ that his brother so little tendered money being a professed Hermit, and so much tendered and esteemed Callimachus, being his near kinsman, as he put no doubt to stand to his devotion.  
Cassander this old Hermit hearing it to be Callimachus his nephew, & understanding of the death of his brother, dissembled his grief, although he were glad to see things happen out so well, and determined with himself to make a Cousin of his young Nephew, until he had bought wit with the price of woe, wherefore he assayed first to stay him from travail, and to take some other course, more fit for a Gentleman. And to the intent said he, that I may persuade thee, give ear to my tale. And this is the tale Phylautus that I promised thee, which the Hermitte sitting now in the Sun, began to utter to Callimachus.  
WHen I was young as thou now art, I never thought to be old, as now I am, which caused lusty blood to attempt those things in youth, which aching bones have repent in age. I had one only Brother, which also bore my name, being both born at one time as twins, but so far disagreeing in nature, as had not as well the respect of the 〈◊〉 time, as also the certainty and assurance of our Mother's fidelity, persuaded the world we had one Father: It would very hardly have been thought, that such contrary dispositions could well have been bred in one womb, or issued from ones loins. Yet as out of one and the self same root, cometh as well the wild olive, as the sweet, and as the Palm Persian Fig tree, beareth as well Apples, as Figs: so our mother thrust into the world at one time, the blossom ofgravitie and lightness.  
We were nursed both with one teat, where my brother sucked a desire of thirst, and I of theft, which evidently showeth, that as the breath of the Lion engendereth as well the Serpent as the Ant, and as the self same dew forceth the earth to yield both the darnel and Wheat: or as the Easterly wind maketh the blossoms to blast, and the buds to blow, so one womb nourisheth contrary wits, and one milk divers manners, which argueth something in Nature I know not what, to be marvelous, I dare not say monstrous.  
As we grew old in years, so began we to be more opposite in opinions: he grave, I gamesome: he studious, I careless: he without mirth, and I without modesty.  
And verily, had we resembled each other, as little in favour, as we did in fancy, or disagréed as much in shape as we did in sense, I know not what Dedalus would have made, a Labyrinth for such Monsters, or what Appelles could have coloured such mishapes.  
But as the Painter Tamantes could no way express the grief of Agamemnon, who saw his only daughter sacrificed, and therefore drew him with a vale over his face, whereby one might better conceive his anguish, than he colour it: so some Tamantes seeing us, would be constrained with a Curtain to shadow that deformity, which no counterf●it could protraye lively. But nature recompensed the similitude of minds, with a Sympathy of bodies, for we were in all parts one so like the other, that it was hard to distinguish either in speech, countenance, or height one from the other, saving that either carried the motion of his mind in his manners, and that the affects of the heart were bewrayed by the eyes, which made us known manifestly. For as two Kubies be they never so like, yet if they be brought together one staineth the other, so we being close one to the other, it was easily to imagine by the face, whose virtue deserved most favour, for I could never see my brother, but his gravity would make me blush, which caused me to resemble the Thrush, who never singeth in the company of the Nightingale, For whilst my brother was in presence, I durst not presume to talk, lest his wisdom might have checked my wildness: Much like to Roscius, who was always dumb when he dined with Cato. Our Father being on his death bed, knew not whom to ordain his heir, being both of one age: to make both, would breed as he thought, unquiet: to appoint but one, were as he knew injury: to divide equally, were to have no heir: to impart more to one then to the other, were parctalitie: to disherit me of his wealth, whom Nature had disherited of wisdom, were against reason: to bar my brother from gold whom God seemed to endue with grace, were flat impiety: yet calling us before him, he uttered with watery eyes these words.  
WEre it not my sons, that Nature worketh more in me, than justice, I should disherit the one of you, who promiseth by his folly to spend all, and leave the other nothing, whose wisdom seemeth to purchase all things. But I welknow, that a bitter root is amended with a sweet graft, and crooked trees, prove good Cantmockes, and wild Grapes make pleasant Wine. Which persuadeth me, that thou (pointing to me) will in age repent thy youthly affections, and learn to die as well, as thou hast lived wanton. As for thee (laying his hand on my brother's head) although I see more then commonly in any of thy years, yet knowing that those that give themselves to be bookish are oftentimes so blockish that they forget thirst: whereby the old saw is verified, that the greatest clerk are not the wisest men, who dig still at the root, while others gather the fruit, I am determined to help thee forward, least having nothing, thou desire nothing, and so he accounted as no body. He having thus said called for two bags, the one full of gold, the other stuffed with writings, and casting them both unto us said this: There my sons, divide all, as between you it shall be best agreed, and so rendered up his ghost, with a pitiful groan.  
My brother as one that knew his own good & my humour, gave me leave to choose which bag I liked, at the choice, I made no great curiosity, but snatching the gold let go the wrsting, which were as I knew Guidences for land, obligations for debt, too heavy for me to carry, who determined (as now thou dost Callimachus) to seek adventures. My purse now swelling with a timpany. I thought to search all countries for a remedy, & sent many golden Angels into every quarter of the world, which never brought news again to their master, being either soared into Heaven where I cannot fetch them, or sunk into Hell for pride, where I mean not to follow them. This lice I continued the space of. xiiii. years, until I had visited & viewed every country, and was a stranger in mine own: but finding no treasure to be wrapped in travel, I returned with more vices, than I went forth with pence, yet with so good a grace, as I was able to sin both by experience and authority, use framing me to the one, and the countries to the other. There was no crime so barbarous, no murder so bloody, no oath so blasphemous, no vice so execrable, but that I could readily recite, where I learned it, and by rote repeat the peculiar crime, of every particular Country, City, Town, Village, house, or Chamber. If I met with one of Crete, I was ready to lie with him for the whetstone. It with a Grecian, I could dissemble with Sinon, I could court it with the Italian, carouse it with the Dutchman. I learned all kind of poisons, yea, & such as were for the Pope's holiness. In Egypt I worshipped their spotted God at Memphis. In Turkey, their Mahomet. In Rome, their Mass: which gave me not only a remission for my sins past, without penance, but also a commission to sin ever after without prejudice. There was no fashion but fitted my back: no fancy but served my turn. But now my barrel of gold, which Pride set a broach, love began to set a tilt, which in short time ran so on the lees, that the Devil danced in the bottom, where he found never a cross. It were to tedious to utter my whole life in this my Pilgrimage, the remembrance whereof, doth nothing but double my repentance.  
Then to grow to an end, I seeing my money wasted, my apparel worn, my mind infected with as many vices, as my body with diseases, and my body with more maladies, than the Leopard hath marks, having nothing for amends but a few broken languages, which served me in▪ no more steed, then to see one meat served in divers dishes: I thought it best to return into my native soil, where finding my brother as far now to ercéed others in wealth as he did me in wit, and that he had gained more by thrift, than I could spend by pride, I neither envied his estate, nor pitied mine own: but opened the whole course of my youth, not thinking thereby to recover that of him by request, which I had lost myself by riot, for casting in my mind, the miseries of the world, with the mischiefs of my life, I determined from that unto my lives end, to lead a solitary life in this cave, which I have done the term of full forty Winters, from whence, neither the earnest entreaty of my Brother, nor the bain pleasures of the world could draw me, neither shall any thing but death.  
Then my good Callimachus, record with thyself the inconveniences that come by traveling, when on the Seas every storm shall threaten death, and every calm a danger, when either thou shalt be compelled to board others as a Pirate, or fear to be boarded of others as a Merchant: when at all times, thou must have the back of an Ass to bear all, and the snout of a Swine, to say nothing, thy hand on thy cap to show reverence to every rascal, thy purse open to be prodigal to every Boor, thy sword in thy sheath, not once daring either to strike or ward, which maketh me think, that travailers, are not only framed not to commit injuries, but also to take them. Learn Callimachus of the bird Acanthis, who being bred in the thistells, will live in the thistles, and of the grasshopper, who being sprung of the grass, will rather die than departed from the grass. I am of this mind with Homer, that as the Snail that crept out of her shell, was turned eftsoons into a Toad, and thereby was forced to make a stool to sit on, disdaining her own house: so the travailer that stragleth from his own country, is in short time transformed into so monstrous a shape, that he is feign to alter his mansion with his manners, and to live where he can, not where he would. What did Ulysses wish in the midst of his travailing, but only to see the smoke of his own Chimney? Did not all the Romans, say, that he that wandered did nothing else but heap● sorrows to his friends, and shame to himself, and resembled those that seeking to light a link, quenched a lamp, imitating the barbarous Goths, who thought the roots in Alexandria, sweeter than the Kaisons in Barbary: In my opinion it is a homely kind of dealing to prefer the courtesy of those he never knew, before the honesty of those among whom he was borne: he that cannot live with a groat in his own Country, shall never enjoy a penny in an other nation. Little dost thou know Callimachus, with what wood travailers are warmed, who must sleep with their eyes open, lest they be slain in their beds, and wake with their eyes shut, lest they be suspected by their looks, and eat with their mouths close, lest, they be poisoned with their meats. Where if they war wealthy, thou shalt be envied, not loved: If poor, punished, not pitied: If wise, accounted espyals: If foolish, made drudges. Every Gentleman will be thy peer though they be noble, and every peasant their Lord, if they be gentle. He therefore that leaveth his own house to seek adventures, is like the Quail that forsaketh the mallows to eat Hemlock, or the Fly that shunneth the Rose, to light in a cowshard.  
No Callimachus, there will no moss stick to the stone of Sisyphus, no grass hang on the heels of Mercury, no butter cleave on the bread of a travailer. For as the Eagle at every flight looseth a feather, which maketh her bald in her age: so the travailer in every country looseth some fleece, which maketh him a beggar in his youth, buying that with a pound, which he cannot sell again for a pen, neigh, repentance. But why go I about to disswad thee from that, which I myself followed, or to persuade thee to that which thou thyself fliest? My grey hairs are like unto a white frost, thy read blood not unlike unto a hot fire: so that it cannot be that either thou shouldest follow my counsel, or I allow thy conditions: such a quarrel hath there always been between the grave and the cradle, that he that is young thinketh the old man fond, and the old knoweth the young man to be a fool. But Callimachus, for the towardness I see in thee, I must needs love thee, and for thy frowardness of force counsel thee: & do in the same sort, as Phoebus did the daring boy Phaeton. Thou goest about a great matter, neither fit for thy years being very young nor thy profit being left so poor, thou desirest that which thou knowest not, neither can any perform that which thou seemest to promise. If thou covet to travail strange countries, search the Maps, there shalt thou see much, with great pleasure and small pains, if to be conversant in all courts, read histories, where thou shalt understand both what the men have been, & what their manners are, and me thinketh there must be much delight, when there is no danger▪ And if thou have any care either of the green bud which springeth out of the tender stalk, or the timely fruit which is to grow of so good a root, seek not to kill the one, or hasten the other: but let time so work, that grafts may be gathered of the tree, rather than sticks to burn. And so I leave thee, not to thyself, but to him that made thee, who guide thee with his grace whether thou go as thou wouldst, or tarry at home as thou shouldest.  
Callimachus obstinate in his fond conceit, was so far from being persuaded by this old Hermit, that he rather made it a greater occasion of his pilgrimage, & with an answer between scorning and reasoning, he replied thus.  
Father or friend (I know not very well how to term you) I have been as attentive to hear your good discourse, as you were willing to utter it: yet me thinketh you deal marvelously with youth, in seeking by sage counsel to put grey hairs on their chins, before nature hath given them almost any hairs on their heads: wherein you have gone so far, that in my opinion your labour had been better spent in travailing where you have not lived, then in talking where you cannot be believed. You have been a travailer, and tasted nothing but sour, therefore whosoever travaileth, shall eat of the same sauce: an Argument it is, that your fortune was ill, not that others should be as had, and a warning to make you wise, not a warning to prove others unfortunate. Shall a soldier that hath received a scar in the battle, give out that all warriors shall be may●ied? Or the Merchant that hath lost by the Seas, be a cause that no other should venture, or a travailer that hath sustained harm by sinister fortune, or been infected by his own folly, dissuade all Gentlemen to rest at their own home, till they come to their long home? Why then let all men abstain from wine, because it made Alexander tipsy, let no man love a woman for that Tarquin was banished, let not a wise man play at all, for that a fool hath lost all, which in my mind would make such medley, that we should be enforced to leave things that were best, for fear they may be bad, and that were as fond as not to cut one's meat with that knife that an other hath cut his finger. Things are not to be judged by the event, but by the end, nor travailing to be condemned by yours or manies unlucky success, but by the common and most approved wisdom of those that can better show what it is then I, and will better speak of it than you do.  
Where you allege Ulysses that he desired nothing so much, as to see the smoke of Ithaca, it was not because he loved not to travail, but that he longed to see his wife after his travail: and greater commendation brought his travail to him, than his wit: the one taught but to speak, the other what he should speak. And in this you turn the point of your own bodkin into your own bosom. Ulysses was no less esteemed for knowledge he had of other countries, then for the revenues he had in his own, and where in the end you seem to refer me to the viewing of Maps, I was never of that mind to make my ship in a painter's shop, which is like those, who have great skill in a wooden Globe, but never behold the sky. And he that seeketh to be a cunning travailer by seeing the Maps and an expert Astronomer, by turning the Globe, may be an Apprentice for Appelles, but no Page for Ulysses.  
another reason you bring, that travailing is costly, I speak for myself: He that hath little to spend, hath not much to lose, and he that hath nothing in his own country, cannot have less in any.  
Would you have me spend the flower of my youth, as you do the withered race of your age▪ can the fair blood of youth creep into the ground as it were frost bitten▪ No father Hermit, I am of Alexander's mind, if there were as many worlds, as there be cities in the world, I would never leave until I had seen all the worlds, and each city in every world. Therefore to be short, nothing shall alter my mind neither penny nor Pater noster.  
This old man seeing him so resolute, resolved to let him depart, and gave him his farewell.  
MY good son, though thou wilt not suffer me to persuade thee, yet shalt thou not let me to pity thee: yea, and to pray for thee: but the time will come when coming home by weeping cross, thou shalt confess, that it is better to be at home in the cave of an Hermit then abroad in the court of an Emperor, and that a crust with quietness shall be better than Quails with unrest. And to the end thou mayst prove my sayings as true, as I know thyself to be wilful, take the pains to return by this poor Cell, where thy fare shall be amended, if thou amend thy fault, and so farewell.  
Callimachus courteously took his leave, and went his way: but we will not leave him till we have him again, at the Cell where we found him.  
NOw Phylautus and Gentlemen all, suppose that Callimachus had as ill fortune, as ever had any, his mind infected with his body, his time consumed with his treasure: nothing won, but what he cannot lose though be would, misery. You must imagine (because it were too long to tell all his journey) that he was Sea sick, (as thou beginnest to be Phylautus) that he hardly escaped death, that he endured hunger and cold, heat without drink, that he was entangled with women, entrapped, deceived, that every stool he sat on, was penniless bench, that his roves were rags, that he had as much need of a Chirurgeon as a Physician, and that thus he came home to the Cell, and with shame and sorrow began to say as followeth.  
I Find too late, yet at length, that in age there is a certain foresight, which youth cannot search, and of a kind of experience, unto which, unripened years can not come: so that I must of necessity confess, that youth never raineth well, but when age holdeth the bridle (you see my good father) what I would say by outward show, and I need not tell what I have tried, because before you told me, I should find it: this I say, that whatsoever misery happened either to you or any, the same hath chanced to me alone, I can say no more, I have tried no less.  
The old Hermit glad to see this ragged Colt returned, yet grieved to see him so tormented, thought not to add sour words to augment his sharp woes, but taking him by the hand, and sitting down, began after a solemn manner, from the beginning to the end, to discourse with him of his father's affairs, even after the sort that before I rehearsed, and delivered unto him his money, thinking now that misery, would make him thrifty, desiring also, that as well for the honour of his Father's house, as his own credit, he would return again to the Island, and there be a comfort to his friends, and a relief to his poor neighbours, which would be more worth than his wealth, and the fulfilling of his Father's last Will.  
Callimachus not a little pleased with this tale, and I think not much displeased with the gold, gave such thanks as to such a friend appertained, and following the counsel of his uncle, which ever after he obeyed as a commandment, he came to his own house, lived long with great wealth, and as much worship as any one in Scyrum, & whether he be now living I know not, but whether he be or no, it skilleth not.  
Now Phylautus, I have told this tale to this end, not that I think traveling to be ill if it be used well, but that such advice be taken that the horse carry not his own bridle, nor youth rule himself in his own conceits. Besides that, such places are to be chosen, wherein to inhabit as are as commendable for virtue, as buildings: where the manners, are more to be marked, then the men seen. And this was my whole drift, either never to travail, or so to travail, as although the purse be weakened, the mind may be strengthened. For not he that hath seen most countries is most to be esteemed, but he that learned best conditions: for not so much are the situation of the places to be noted, as the virtues of the persons. Which is contrary to the common practice of our travailers, who go either for gain, and return without knowledge, or for fashion sake, & come home with out piety: Whose estates are as much to be lamented, as their follies are to be laughed at, this causeth youth to spend their golden time, without either praise or profit, pretending a desire of learning, when they only follow loitering. But I hope our travail shall be better employed, seeing virtue is the white we shoot at, not vanity, neither the English tongue (which as I have heard is almost barbarous) but the English manners, which as I think are most precise: And to thee Phylautus I begin to address my speech, having made an end of my hermits tale, & if these few precepts I give thee be observed, then doubt not, but we both shall learn that, we best like. And these they are.  
AT thy coming into England, be not too inquisitive of news neither curious in matters of State, in assemblies ask no questions, either concerning manners or men. Be not lavish of thy tongue, either in causes of weight, lest thou show thyself an espial, or in wanton talk, lest thou prove thyself a fool.  
It is the Nature of that country to sift strangers, every one that shaketh thee by the hand is not joined to thee in heart. They think Italians wanton, & Grecians subtle, they will trust neither, they are so incredulous, but undermine both▪ they are so wise. Be not quartellous for every light occasion, they are impatient in their anger of any equal, ready to revenge an injury, but never wont to proffer any: they never fight without provoking, and once provoked, they never cease. Beware thou fall not into the snares of love, the women there are wise, the men crafty: they will gather love by thy looks, and pick thy mind out of thy hands. It shall be there better to hear what they say, then to speak what thou thinkest: They have long ears and short tongues, quick to hear, and slow to btter: broad eyes and light fingers, ready to espy and apt to strike. Every stranger is a mark for them to shoot at: yet this must I say, which in no country I can tell the like, that it is as seldom to see a stranger abused there, as it is rare to see any well used else where: yet presume not too much of the courtesies of those, for they▪ differ in natures, some are hot, some cold, one simple, an other wily, yet if thou use few words, & fair speeches, thou shalt command any thing thou standest in need off.  
Touching the situation of the soil, I have read in my study, which I partly believe (having no worse Author than Caesar) yet at my coming, when I shall confer the things I see, with those I have read, I will judge accordingly. And this have I heard: that the inner part of Britain is inhabited by such as were borne & bred in the Isle, and the Sea-coast by such as have passed thither out of Belgic to search booties, and to make war. The country is marvelously replenished with people, and there be many buildings, almost like in fashion to the buildings of Gallia, there is great store of cattle, the coin they use, is either of Brass, or else rings of Iron, used at a certain weight in steed of money. In the inner parts of the Realm groweth Tin, and in the Sea Coast groweth iron. The Brass that they occupy, is brought in from beyond-sea. The air is more temperate in those places, than in France, and the cold lesser. The Island is in fashion three cornered, whereof one side is toward France, the one corner of this side which is Kent, where for the most part Ships arrive out of France, is in the Gast, and the other nethermore, is towards the South. This side containeth about five hundred miles, an other side lieth toward Spain and the Sun going down, on the which side is Ireland, less than Britain, as is supposed by the one half: but the cut between them, is like the distance that is between France and Britain▪ In the midst of this course is an Island called Man, the length of this side is (according to the opinion of the Inhabiters) seuc hundred miles. The third side is Northward, and against it lieth no land, but the point of that side, butteth most upon Germany. This they esteem to be eight hundred miles long, & so the circuit of the whole Island is two thousand miles. Of all the Inhabitants of this Isse, the Kentishmen are most civilest, the which country marcheth altogether upon the Sea, & differeth not greatly from the manner of France. They that dwell more in the heart of the Realm saw corn, but live by milk & flesh, and clothe themselves in leather. All the Britain's do die themselves with woad, which setteth a bluish colour upon them, & it maketh them more terrible to behold in battle. They wear their hair long, & shave all parts of their bodies, saving the head and the upper lip. divers other uses and customs among them, as I have read Phylautus: But whether these be true or no, I will not say, for me thinketh an Island so well governed in peace then, and so famous in victories, so fertile in all respects, so wholesome and populous, must needs in the term of a thousand years be much better, and I believe we shall find it such, as we never read the like of any, until we arrive there, we will suspend our judgements: yet do I mean at my return from thence, to draw the whole description of the Land, the customs, the nature of the people, the state, the government, and whatsoever deserveth either marvel or commendation.  
Phylautus not accustomed to those narrow Seas, was more ready to tell what would the ship was made of then to aunsivere to Euphues discourse: yet between waking and winking, as one half sick, and somewhat sleepy, it came in his brains, answered thus.  
In faith Euphues thou hast told a long tale, the beginning I have forgotten, the middle I understand not, and the end hangeth not together: therefore I cannot repeat it as I would, nor delight in it as I ought: yet if at our arrival thou wilt renew thy tale, I will rub my memory: in the mean season would I were either again in Italy, or now in England. I cannot brook these Seas, which provoke my stomach sore. I have an appetite, it were best for me to take a nap, for every word is brought forth with a nod.  
Euphues replied. I cannot tell Phylautus whether the SEa make thee sick, or she that was borne of the Sea: if the first, thou hast a quesic stomach: if the leatter, a wanton desire. I well believe thou remember'st nothing that may do thee good, nor forgettest any thing, which can do thee harm, making more of a sore then a plaster, and wishing rather to be cursed than cured, wherein thou agreest with those, which having taken a surfeit, seek the means rather to sleep then purge, or those that having the green sickness, and are brought to death's door, follow their own humour, and refuse the physicians remedy. And such Phylautus is thy disease, who pining in thine one follies, choosest rather to perish in lone, then to live in wisdom, but whatsoever be the cause, I wish the effect may answer my friendly care: then doubtless thou shalt neither die being seasick, or dote being lovesick. I would the Sea, could aswell purge thy mind of fond conceits, as thy body of gross humours. Thus ending, Phylautus again began to urge.  
Without doubt Euphues thou dost me great wrong, in seeking a scar in a smooth skin, thinking to stop a vain where none is opened, & to cast love in my teeth, which I have already spit out of my mouth, which I must needs think proceedeth rather for lack of matter, than any good meaning, else wouldest thou never harp on that string which is burst in my heart, & yet ever sounding in thy cares. Thou art like those that procure one to take physic before he be sick, & to apply a cerecloth to his body, when he feeleth no ache, or a vomit for a surfeit, when his stomach is empty. If ever I fall to mine old Bias, I must put thee in the fault that talks of it, seeing thou didst put me in the mind to think of it, whereby thou seemest to blow the coal which thou wouldst quench, setting a teen edge, where thou desirest to have a sharp point, imping a feather to make me fly, when thou oughtest rather to cut my wing for fear of soaring.  
Lucilla is dead, and she upon whom I guess thou harpest is forgotten: the one not to be redeemed, the other not to be thought on: Then good Euphues wring not a horse on the withers, with a false saddle neither imagine what I am by thy thoughts, but by mine own doings: so shalt thou have me both willing to follow good counsel, and able hereafter to give thee comfort. And so I rest half sleepy with the Seas.  
With this answer Euphues held himself content, but as much wearied with talk as the other was with travail, made a pillow of his hand, and there let them both sleep their fill and dream with their fancies, until either a storm cause them so wake, or their hard beds, or their journeys end.  
Thus for the space of an eight weeks Euphues & Phylautus sailed on the seas, from their first shipping, between whom divers speeches were uttered, which to recite were nothing necessaric in this place, and weighing the circumstances, scarce expedient: what tempests they endured, what strange sights in the element, what monstrous fishes were seen, how often they were in danger of drowning: in fear of boarding, how weary, how sick, how angry, it were tedious to write, for that whosoever hath either read of travailing, or himself used it, can sufficiently guess what is to be said. And this I leave to the judgement of those that in the like journey have spent their time from Naples to England, for if I should feign more than others have tried, I might be thought to Poetical: if less, partial. Therefore I omit the wonders, the Rocks, the marks, the goulffes, and whatsoever they passed or saw, lest I should trouble divers with things they know, or may shame myself with things I know not. Let this suffice, that they are safely come within a ken of Dover, which the Master espying with a cheerful voice waking them, began to utter these words unto them.  
GEntlemen and friends, the longest summers day hath his evening, Ulysses arriveth at last, and rough winds in time bring the Ship to safe Road. We are nows within four hours sailing of our Haven, and as you will think, of an earthly Heaven. Yonder white Cliffs which easily you may perceive, are Dover hills, whereunto is adjoining a strong and famous Castle, into the which julius Caesar did enter, where you shall view many goodly monuments, both strange and ancient. Therefore pull up yours hearts, this merry wind will immediately bring us to an easy bait.  
Phylautus was glad he slept so long, and was awaked in so good time, being as weary of the Seas, as ●●e that never used them. Euphues not sorrowful of this good news, began to shake his ears, and was soon apparelled. To make short, the winds were so favourable, the Manners so skilful, the way so short, that I fear me they will land before I can describe the manner how, and therefore suppose them now in Dover Town, in the noble Isle of England, somewhat benighted, & more apt to sleep then sup: yet for manners sake they entertained their Master and the rest of the Merchants and Mariners, where having in due time both recorded their travails past, and ended their repast, every one went to his lodging, where I will leave them sound sleeping, until the next day.  
The next day they spent in viewing the Castle of Dover, the Pyre, the Cliffs, the Road, and Town, receiving as much pleasure by the sight of ancient monuments, as by their courteous entertainment, no less praising the persons for their good minds, than the place for the goodly buildings: and in this sort they refreshed themselves three or four days, until they had digested the seas, & recovered again their healths, yet so warily they behaved themselves, as they were never heard, either to inquire of any news, or point at any fortress, beholding the bulwarks with a slight & careless regard, but the other places of peace, with admiration. Folly it were to show what they saw, seeing hereafter in the description of England, it shall most manifestly appear. But I will set them forward in their journey, where now within this two hours, we shall find them in Caunterbury.  
Travailing thus like two Pilgrims, they thought it most necessary to direct their steps toward London, which they heard was the most royal seat of the Queen of England. But first they came to Caunterbury, an old City, somewhat decayed, yet beautiful to behold, most famous for a Cathedral Church, the very majesty whereof struck them into a maze, where they saw many monuments, and hard tell of greater, then either they ever saw or easily would believe. After they had gone long, seeing themselves almost benighted, determined to make the next house their Inn, and espying in their way even at hand a very pleasant garden, drew near, where they saw a comely old man, as busy as a Bee, among his Bees, whose countenance bewrayed his conditions; this ancient Father, Euphues gréeted in this manner.  
FAther, if the courtesy of England be answerable so the custom of Pilgrims, then will the nature of the country, excuse the boldness of strangers: our request is to have such entertainment, being almost tired with travail, not as divers have for acquaintance, but as all men have for their money, which courtesy if you grant, we will ever remain in your debt, although every way discharge our due: and rather we are importunate, for that we are no less delighted with the pleasures of your garden, than the sight of your gravity. Unto whom the old man said.  
GEntlemen you are no less, I perceive by your manners, & you can be no more being but men, I am neither so uncourteous to mislike your request, nor so suspicious to mistrust your truths, although it be no less perilous to be secure, then peevish to be curious. I keep no virtualling, yet is my house an Inn, & I an Host for every honest man, so far as they with courtesy will, & I may with ability. Your entertainment shall be as small for cheer, as your acquaintance is for time, yet in my house, you may happily find some one thing cleanly, nothing courtly: for that wisdom provideth things necessary, not superfluous, & age seeketh rather a Modicum for suffenaunce, than feasts for surfeits. But until some thing may be made ready, might I be so bold as inquire your names, countries, & the cause of your Pilgrimage, wherein if I shall be more inquisitive than I ought, let my rude birth satisfy my bold request, which I will not urge as one importunate (I might say) impudent.  
Euphues seeing this fatherly and friendly Sire (whom we will name Fidus) to have no less inward courteses then outward comeliness, conjectured (as well he might) that the proffer of his bounty, noted the nobleness of his birth, being well assured, that as no Thersiteses could be transformed into Ulysses, so no Alexander could be couched in Damocles. Thinking therefore now with more care and advisedness to temper his talk, lest either he might seem foolish or curious, he answered him in these terms.  
GOod sir, you have bound us unto you, with a doubls chain, the one in pardoning our presumption, the other in granting our petition. Which great & undeserved kindness, though we cannot requited with the like, yet if occasion shall serve, you shall find us hereafter as willing to make amends, as we are now ready to give thanks. Touching your demands, we are not so unwise to mislike them, or so ungrateful to deny them, lest in concealing our names it might be thought for some trespass, and covering our pretence, we might be suspected of treason. Know you then sir, that this Gentleman my fellow is called Phylautus, I Euphues: he, an Italian, I a Grecian: both sworn friends by just trial, both Pilgrims, by free will. Concerning the cause of our coming into this Island, it was only to glue our eyes to our ears, that we might justify those things by sight, which we have oftentimes with incredible admiration understood by hearing: to wit, the rare qualities, as well of the body as the mind, of your most dread Sovercigne, & Queen, the brute of the which hath filled every corner of the world, insomuch, as there is nothing that moveth either more matter or more marvel, than her excellent Majesty, which Fame when we saw without comparison, and almost above credit, we determined to spend some part of our time and treasure in the English Court, where if I could find the report but to be true in half, we should not only think our money and travail well employed, but returned with interest more than infinite. This is the only end of our coming, which we are nothing fearful to utter, trusting as well to the courtesy of your country, as the equity of our cause.  
Touching the Court, if you can give us any instructions, we shall think the evening well spent, which procuring our delight, can no way work your disliking.  
GEntlemen (answered this old man) if because I entertain you, you seek to undermine me, you offer me great discourtesy: you must needs think me very simple, or yourselves very subtle, if upon so small acquaintance I should answer to such demands, as are neither for me to utter being a subject, nor for you to know being strangers. I keep hives for Bees, not houses for busy bodies, (pardon me Gentlemen, you have moved my patience,) and more welcome shall a Wasp be to my honey, than a privy enemy to my house. If the rare report of my most gracious Lady, have brought you hither, me thinketh you have done very ill, to choose such a house to confirm your minds as seemeth more like a prison than a palace, whereby in my opinion, you mean to derogate from the worthiness of the person, by the vileness of the place, which argueth your pretences to savour of malice, more than honest meaning.  
They use to consult of jove, in the Capitol: of Caesar, in the Senate: of our noble Queen, in her own Court. Besides that, Alexander must be painted of none but Appelles, nor engraven of any but Lysippus, nor our Elizabeth set forth of every one that would in duty, which are all, but of those that can in skill, which are few, so far hath Nature overcome Art, and grace eloquence, that the Painter draweth a veil over that he cannot shadow, and the Orator holdeth a paper in his hand, for that he cannot utter. But whether am I wandering, rapt farther by devotion, than I can wade through with discretion. Cease then Gentlemen, & know this, that a Englishman learneth to speak of me●, and to hold his peace of the Gods. Inquire no farther then beseemeth you, lest you hear that which can not like you. But if you think the time long before your repast, I will find some talk which shall breed your delight, touching my Bees.  
And here Euphues broke him off, and replied: though not as bitterly as he would, yet as roundly as he durst, in this manner.  
We are not a little sorry sir, not that we have opened our minds, but that we are taken amiss, and when we meant so well, to be entreated so ill, having talked of no one thing unless it be of good will towards you, whom we reverence for age, and of duty toward your Soverigne, whom we marveled at for virtue: which good meaning of ours, misconstrued by you, hath bred such a distemperature in our heads, that we are fearful to praise her, whom all the world extolleth, and suspicious to trust you, whom above any in the world we loved. And whereas your greatest argument is, the baseness of gour house, me thinketh that maketh most against you. Caesar never rejoiced more, than when he heard, that they talked of his valiant erploits in simple cottages, alleging this, that a bright Sun shineth in every corner, which maketh not the beams worse, but the place better, when (as I remember) Agesilaus son was set at the lower end of the table and one cast it in his teeth as a shame, he answered: this is the upper end where I sit, for it is not the place that maketh the person, but the person that maketh the place honourable. When it was told Alexander that he was much prayse● of a miller, I am glad quoth he, that there is not so▪ much as a miller but loveth Alexander. Among other fables, I call to my remembrance one, not long, but apt, and as simple as it is, so fit it is, that I cannot omit it for the opportunity of the time, though I might over-leape it for the baseness of the matter. When all the birds were appointed to meet to talk of the Eagle, there was great contention, at whose nest they should assemble, every one willing to have it at his own home, one preferring the nobility of his birth, an other the stateliness of his building: some would have it for one quality, some for an other: at the last the Swallow said they should come to his nest (being commonly of filth) which all the Birds disdaining, said: why thy house is nothing else but dirt, and therefore answered the Swallow, would I have talk there of the Eagle: for being the basest, the name of an Eagle will make it the bravest. And so good father may I say of thy cottage, which thou seemest to account of so homely, that moving but speech of thy sovereign, it will be more like a court then a cabin, and of a prison the name of Elizabeth will make it a palace.  
The Image of a Prince stamped in copper, goeth as currant: and a Crow may try ave Caesar without any rebuke.  
The name of a Prince is like the sweet dew, which falleth as well upon low shrubs, as high trees, and resembleth a true Glass, wherein the poor may see their faces with the rich, or a clear stream wherein all may drineke that are dry: not they only that are wealthy.  
Where you add that we should fear to move any occasion touching talk of so noble a Prince, truly our reverence taketh away the fear of suspicion.  
The Lamb feareth not the Lion, but the Wolf: the Partridge dreadeth not the Eagle, but the Hawk: a true and faithful heart stand 〈◊〉 ●● in awe of his superior whom he loveth for fear, then of his Prince whom he feareth for love. A clear conscience needeth no excuse, nor feareth any accusation. Lastly, you conclude, that neither art nor heart can so set forth your noble Queen, as she deserveth. I grant it, and rejoice at it, and that is the cause of our coming to see her, whom none can sufficiently commend: and yet doth it not follow, that because we cannot give her as much as she is worthy of, therefore we should not owe her any. But in this we will imitate the old painters in Greece, who drawing in their Tables the Portraiture of jupiter, were every hour mending it, but durst never finish it: And being demanded why they began that, which they could not end, they answered, in that we show him to be jupiter, whom every one may begin to paint, but none can perfect. In the like manner, mean we to draw in part the praises of her, whom we cannot thoroughly protraye, and in that we signify her to be Elyzabeth: Who enforceth every man to do as much as he can, when in respect of her perfection, it is nothing. For as he that beholdeth the Sun steadfastly, thinking thereby to describe it more perfectly, hath his eyes so dazzled, that he can discern nothing, so fareth it with those that seek marvelously to praise those that are without the compass of their judgements, and all comparison, that the more they desire, the less they discern, and the nearer they think themselves in good will, the farther they find themselves off in wisdom, thinking to measure that by the inch, which they cannot reach with the ell. And yet father, it can be neither hurtful to you, nor hateful to your prince, to hear the commendation of a stranger, or to answer his honest request, who will wish in heart no less glory to her, than you do: although they can wish no more. And therefore me thinketh you have offered a little ●i●courtesse, not to answer us, and to suspect us, great injury: having neither might to attempt any thing which may do you harm, nor malice to revenge, where we find help. For mine own part this I say, and for my friend present the like I dare swear, how boldly I cannot tell, how truly I know: that there is not any one, whether he be bound by benefit or duty, or both: whether linked by zeal or time, or blood, or all: that more humbly reverenceth her majesty, or marveleth at her wisdom, or prayeth for her long prosperous and glorious reign, than we: than whom we acknowledge none more simple, and yet dare a●owe●, none more faithful. Which we speak not to get service by flattery, but to acquit ourselves of suspicion, by faith: which is all that either a Prince can require of his subject, or a vassal yield to his Sovereign, and that which we ●we to your Queen, & all others should offer, that either for fear of punishment dare not offend, or for love of virtue, will not.  
Hear old Fidus interrupted young Euphues being almost induced by his talk, to answer his request, yet as one neither too credulous, nor altogether mistrustful, he replied as a friend, and so wisely as he glanced from the mark Euphues shot at, and hit at last the white which Phylautus set up, as shall appear hereafter. And thus he began.  
MY sons (mine age giveth me the privilege of that term, and your honesties cannot refuse it) you are too young to understand matters of state, and were you elder to know them, it were not for your estates. And therefore me thinketh the time were but lost, in pulling Hercules' shoe upon an Infant's foot, or in setting Atlas' burden on a child's shoulder, or to bruise your backs with the burden of a whole kingdom, which I speak not, that either I mistruth you (for your reply hath fully resolved that fear) or that I malice you (for my good will may clear me of that fault) or that I dread your might (for your small power cannot bring me into such a folly.) but that I have learned by experience, that to reason of kings or Princes, hath ever been much misliked of the wise, though much desired of fools, especially where old men, which should be at their beads be too busy with the court, and young men which should follow their books, be too inquisitive in the affairs of princes. We should not look at that we cannot reach, nor long for that we should not have, things above us, are not for us, & therefore are Princes placed under the gods, that they should not see what they do, and we under princes that we might not inquire what they do. But as the foolish Eagle, that seeing the Sun, coveteth to build her nest in the Sun, so fond youth, which viewing the glory and gorgeousness of the court, longeth to know the secrets in the court. But as the Eagle, burneth out her eyes with that proud lust: so doth youth break his heart with the peevish conceit. And as Satirus not knowing what fire was, would needs embrace it, and was burned, so these fond Satiri, not understanding what a prince is, run boldly to meddle in those matters which they know not, and so feel worthily the heat they would not. And therefore good Euphues and Phylautus content yourselves with this, that to be curious in things you should not inquire off, if you know them, they appertain not unto you, if you knew them not, they cannot hinder you. And let Appelles answer to Alexander, be an excuse for me. When Alexander would needs come to Appelles' shop and paint, Appelles placed him at back, who going to his own work, did not so much as cast an eye back, to see Alexander's devices, which being well marked, Alexander said thus unto him: Art. not thou a cum●inge Painter, and wilt thou not overlook my picture, and tell me wherein I have done well, & wherein ill, whom he answered wisely, yet merely: In faith O king, it is not for Appelles to inquire what Alexander hath done, neither if he show it me, to judge how it is done, and therefore did I set your Majesty at my back, that I might not glance towards a king's work, & that you looking over my head, might see mine, for Appelles' shadows are to be seen of Alexander, but not Alexander's of Appelles. So ought we Euphues to frame ourselves, in all our actions & devices, as though the King stood over us to behold us, & not to look what the King doth behind us. For whatsoever he painteth, it is for his pleasure, & we must think for our profit, for Appelles had his reward though he saw not the work.  
I have heard of a Magnifico in Milan, (& I think Phylautus you being an Italian do remember it,) who hearing his son inquisitive of the emperors life, and demeanour, reprehended him sharply, saying: that it beseemed not one of his house, to inquire how an Emperor lived, unless he himself were an Emperor: for that the behaviour and usage of so honourable personages are not to be called in question of every one that doubteth, but of such as are their equals.  
Alexander being commanded of Philip his Father to wrestle in the games of Olympia, answered he would if there were a King to strive with him, whereby I have noted (that others seem to enforce) that as King's pastimes, are no plays for every one: so their secrets, their counsels, their dealings, are not to be either scanned or inquired off any way, unless of those that are in the like place, or serve the like person.  
I cannot tell whether it be a Canterbury tale, or a Fable in Aesop, (but pretty it is, and true in my mind) That the fox and the Wolf, going both a filching for food thought it best to see whether the Lion were a sleep or awake, least being too bold they should speed too bad. The Fox entering into the King's den (a King I call the Lion,) brought word to the Wolf, that he was a sleep, and went himself to his own kennel, the Wolf desirous to search in the lions den, that he might espy some fault, or steal some pray, entered boldly, whom the Lion caught in his paws, and asked what he would? the silly Wolf, (an unapt term for a Wolf, yet fit being in a lions hands) answered, that understanding by the Fox, he was a sleep, he thought he might be at liberty, to survey his lodging: unto whom the princely Lion with great disdain though little despite (for that theridamas can be no envy in a king) said thus: Dost thou think that a Lion thy Prince and governor, can sleep though he wink, or darest thou inquire whether he wink or wake? The Fox had more craft than thou, and thou more courage (courage I will not say, but boldness: and boldness is to good, I may say desperateness) but you shall both well know, and to our griefs feel, that neither the wiliness of the Fox, nor the wildness of the Wolf, ought either to see or to ask, whether the Lion either sleep or wake, be at home or abroad, dead or alive. For this is sufficient for you to know, that there is a Lion, not where he is, or what he doth. In like manner Euphues, is the government of a Monarchy (though homely be the comparison, yet apt it is) that it is neither the wise Fox nor the malicious Wolf, should venture so far, as to learn whether the Lion sleep or wake in his den. whether the Prince fast or feast in his court: but this should be their order, to understand there is a King, but what he doth, is for the Gods to examine, whose ordinance he is, not for men, whose overseer he is. Then how vain is it Euphues (too mild a word for so mad a mind) that the foot should neglect his office to correct the face, or that subjects should seek more to know what their Princes do, than what they are: wherein they show themselves as bad as beasts, and much worse than my Bees, who in my conceit though I may seems partial, observe more order than they, (and if I might say so of my good Bees) more honesty: honesty my old Grandfather called that, when men lived by Law, not list: observing in all things the mean, which we name virtue, and Virtue we account nothing else, but to deal justly and temperately.  
And if I might crave pardon, I would a little acquaint you with the common wealth of my Bees, which is neither impertinent to the matter we have now in hand, nor tedious to make you weary.  
Euphues delighted with the discourses of old Fidus, was content to hear any thing, so he might hear him speak some thing, and consenting willingly, he desired Fidus to go forward: who now removing himself nearer to the Hives, began as followeth.  
GEntlemen, I have for the space of this twenty years dwelled in this place, taking no delight in any thing but only in keeping my Bees, & marking them, & this I find, which had I not seen, I should hardly have believed, that they use as great wit by indution, and Art by workmanship, as ever man hath or can, using between themselves no less justice, than wisdom, & yet not so much wisdom as Majesty: insomuch as thou wouldst think that they were a kind of people, a common wealth for Plato, where they all labour, all gather Honey, fly altogether in a swarm, eat in a swarm, and sleep in a swarm: so neat and finely, that they abhor nothing so much as uncleanness, drinking pure and clear water, delighting in sweet and sound Music, which if they hear but once out of tune, they fly out of sight: & therefore are they called the Muse's birds, because they follow not the sound so much as the consent. They live under a Law, using great reverence to their Elder, as to the wiser.  
They choose a King, whose Palace they frame, both braver in show, and stronger in substance: whom if they find to fall, they establish again in his throne: with no less duty than devotion, guarding him continually, as it were for fear he should miscarry, and for love he should not: whom they tender with such faith and favour, that whether soever he slayeth, they follow him, and if he cannot fly, they carry him: whose life they so love, that they will not for his safety stick to die, such care have they for his health, on whom they build all their hope. If their Prince die, they know not how to live, they languish, weep, sigh, neither intending their work, nor keeping their old society. And that which is most marvelous, and almost incredible: if there be any that hath disobeyed his commandments, either of purpose or unwittingly, he killeth himself with his own sting as executioner of his own stubbornness.  
The King himself hath his sting, which he useth rather for honour then punishment: And yet Euphues, albeit they live under a Prince, they have their Privilege, and as great liberties, as straight laws.  
They call a Parliament, wherein they consult for laws, statutes, penalties, choosing Officers, and creating their King, not by affection, but reason, not by the greater part, but the better. And if such a one by chance be chosen (for among men sometimes the worst speed best) as is bad, then is there such civil war and dissension, that until he be plucked down, there can be no friendship: and overthrown, there is no enmity, not fight for quarrels, but quietness.  
Every one hath his Office, some trimming the Honey, some working the wax, one framing bives, an other the combs, and that so artificially, that Dedalus could not with greater Art or excellency, better dispose the orders, measures, proportions, distinctions, joints and circles, divers hue, others polish, all are careful to do their work so strongly, as they may resist the 〈◊〉 of such drones, as seek to live by then labours, which maketh them to keep watch & ward, as living in a camp to others, & as in a court to themselves. Such a care of chastity, that they never engender, such a desire of cleanness, that there is not so much as meat in all their hives. When they go forth to work, they mark the wind, the clouds, & whatsoever doth threaten either their ruin, or reign, & having gathered out, of every flower honey, they return laden in their mouths, thighs, wings, and all the body, whom they that tarried at home receive readily, as casting their backs of so great burdens.  
The king himself not idle, goeth up and down entreating threatening, commanding, using the counsel of a sequel, but not losing the dignity of a Prince, preferring those that labour to greater authority, & punishing those that loiter with due severity. All which things being much admirable, yet this is most, that they are so profitable, bringing unto man both honey & wax, each so wholesome, that we all desire it, both so necessaray, that we cannot miss them. Here Euphues is a common wealth, which oftentimes calling to my mind, I cannot choose but commend above any that either I have heard or read off Wherthe king is not for every one to talk off, where there is such homage, such love, such labour, that I have wished oftentimes rather be a be, than not be as I should be.  
In this little garden with these hives, in this house have I spent the better part of my life, yea and the best: I was never busy in matters of state, but referring all my cares unto the wisdom of grave Counsellors, & my confidence in the noble mind of my dread Sovereign & Queen, never ask what she did, but always praying she may do well, not inquiring whether she might do what she would, but thinking she would do nothing but what she might.  
Thus contented with a mean estate, and never curious of the high estate, I found such quiet, that me thinketh, he which knoweth least, liveth longest: insomuch that I choose rather to be an Hermit in a cave, than a counsellor in the Court.  
Euphues perceiving old Fidus, to speak what he thought, answered him in these short words. He is very obstinate, whom neither reason nor experience can persuade: and truly seeing you have alleged both, I must needs allow both. And if my former request have bred any offence, let my latter repentance make amends. And yet this I know, that I inquired nothing that might bring you into danger, or me into trouble: for as young as I am, this I have learned, that one may point at a star but not pull at it, and see a Prince but not search him: & for mine own part, I never mean to put my hand between the bark and the tree, or in matters which are not for me, to be over curious.  
The common wealth of your Bees, did so delight me, that I was not a little sorry that either their estate have not been longer, or your leisure more, for in my simple judgement, there was such an orderly government, that men may not be ashamed to imitate them, nor you weary to keep them.  
They having spent much time in these discourses, were called into supper, Phylautus more willing to eat, then hear their tales, was not the last that went in: where being all set down, they were served all in earthen dishes, all things so neat and cleanly, that they perceived a kind of courtly Majesty in the mind of their Host, though he wanted matter to show it in his house.  
Phylautus I know not whether of Nature melancholy, or feeling love in his Bosom, spoke scarce ten words since his coming into the house of Fidus.  
Which the old man well noting, began merrely thus to parley with him.  
I Marvel Gentleman that all this time you have been tonguetied either thinking not yourself welcome, or disdaining so homely entertainment: in the one you do me wrong, for I think I have not showed myself strange, for the other you must pardon me, for that I have not to do as I would, but as I may: And though England be no grange, but yieldeth every thing, yet is it here as in every place, all for money.  
And if you will but accept a willing mind in steed of a costly repast, I shall think myself beholding unto you, and if time serve, or my Bees prosper, I will make you part of amends, with a better breakfast.  
Phylautus thus replied: I know good Father, my welcome greater than any ways I can requite, and my cheer more bountiful than ever I shall deserve, & though I seem silent for matters that trouble me, yet I would not have you think me so foolish, that I should either disdain your company, or mislike your cheer, of both the which I think so well, that if time might answer my true meaning, I would exceed in cost, though in courtesy I know not how to compare with you, for (with out flattery be it spoken) if the common courtesy of England be no worse than this towards strangers, I must needs think them happy that travail into these Coasts, and the Inhabitants the most courteous of all Countries.  
Hear began Euphues to take the tale out of Phylautus mouth, and to play with him in his melancholic mood, beginning thus.  
NO Father I durst swear for my Friend, that both he thinketh himself welcome, and his fare good, but you must pardon a young Courtier, who in the absence of his Lady thinketh himself forlorn: And this vile Dog love will so rankle where he biteth, that I fear my Friends sure, will breed to a Fistula: for you may perceive that he is not where he lives, but where he loves, & more thoughts hath he in his head, then you Bees in your hives: and better it were for him to be naked among your Wasps, though his body were all blistered, then to have his heart stung so with affection, whereby he is so blinded. But believe me▪ Fidus, he taketh as great delight to course a cogitation of love, as you do to use your time with Honey. In this plight hath he been ever since his coming out of Naples, & so hath it wrought with him (which I had thought impossible) that pure love did make him seasick, insomuch as in all my travail with him, I seemed to every one to bear with me the picture of a proper man, but no living person, the more pity, and yet no force.  
Phylautus taking Euphues tale by the end, and the old man by the arm between grief and game, jest & earnest, answered him thus.  
EUPHVES would die if he should not talk of love once in a day, and therefore you must give him leave after every meal to close his stomach with love, as with Marmalade, and I have heard, not those that say nothing, but they that kick oftenest against love, are ever in love: yet doth he use me as the mean to move the matter, & as the man to make his Mirror, he himself knowing best the price of Corn; not by the market folks, but his own footsteps. But if he use this speech either to make you merry, or to put me out of conceit, he doth well, you must thank him for the one, and I will think on him for the other. I have oftentimes sworn that I am as far from love as he, yet will be not believe me, as incredulous as those, who think none bald till they see his brains. As Euphues was making answer, Fidus prevented him in this manner.  
THere is no harm done Phylautus, for whether you love, or Euphues lest, this shall breed no jar. It may be when I was as young as you, I was as idle as you, (though in my opinion, there is none less idle than a lover.) For to tell the truth I myself was once a courtier, in the days of that most noble king of famous memory Henry the eight, Father to our most gracious Lady Elizabeth.  
Where, and with that, he paused as though the remembrance of his old life, had stopped his new speech: but Phylautus itching to hear what he would say, desired him to go forward, unto whom Fidus fetching a great sigh, said, I will. And there again made a full point. Phylautus burning as it were, in desire of this discourse, urged him again with great entreaty: then the old man commanded the board to be uncovered, grace being said, called for stools, & sitting by the fire, uttered the whole discourse of his love, which brought Phylautus a bed, and Euphues a sleep.  
And now Gentlemen, if you will give ear to the tale of Fidus it may be, some will be as watchful as Phylautus, though many as drousic as Euphues. And thus he began with a heavy countenance (as though his pains were present, not past) to frame his tale.  
I Was borne in the wild of Kent, of honest parents and worshipful, whose tender cares, (if the fondness of Parents may be so termed) provided all things even from my very cradle, until their graves, that might either bring me up in good letters, or make me heir to great livings. I, (without arrogancy be it spoken,) was not inferior in wit to many, which finding in myself, I flattered myself, but in the end deceived myself: For being of the age of xx. years, there was no trade or kind of life that either fitted my humour, or served my turn, but the Court: thinking that place the only means to climb high and fit sure. Wherein I followed the vain of young Soldiers, who judge nothing sweeter than war till they feel the weight, I was there entertained as well by the great friends my father made, as by mine own forwardness, where it being now but Honey moon I endeavoured to Court it with a grace, (almost past grace) laying more on my back, than my friends could well bear, having many times a brave cloak and a thread bare purse. Who so conversant with the Ladies as I▪ who so pleasant? who more prodigal? Insomuch as I thought the time lost which was not spent either in their company with delight, or for their company in letters. Among all the troop of gallant Gentlemen, I singled out one (in whom I misliked nothing but his gravity) that above all I meant to trust: who aswell for the good qualities he saw in me, as the little government he feared in me, began one night to utter these few words.  
Friend Fidus (if Fortune allow a term so familiar) I would I might live to see thee as wise, as I perceive thee witty, then should thy life be so seasoned as neither too much wit might make thee proud, nor too great riot poor. My acquaintance is not great with thy person, but such insight have I into thy conditions, that I fear nothing so much, as that, there thou catch thy fall, where thou thinkest to take thy rising. There belongeth more to a Courtier then bravery, which the wise laugh at, or parsonage, which the chaste mark not, or wit, which the most part see not.  
It is sober and discreet behaviour, civil and gentle demeanour, that in court winneth both credit and commodity, which counsel thy unripened years, think to proceed rather of the malice of Age, than the good meaning.  
To ride well is laudable, and I like it, to run at the tilt not amiss, and I desire it, to revel much to be praised, and I have used it, which things as I know them all to be courtly, so for my part I account them necessary, for where greatest assemblies are of noble gentlemen, there should be the greatest exercise of true Nobility. And I am not precise, but that I esteem it is as expedient in feats of arms and activity, to employ the body, as in study to waste the mind: yet so should the one be tempered with the other, as it might seem as great a shame to be valiant and courtly without learning, as to be studious and bookish without valour.  
But there is an other thing Fidus, which I am to warn thee off, and if I might to wrest thee from: not that I envy thy estate, but that I would not have thee forget it. Thou bsest too much (a little I think to be too much) to dally with women, which is the next way to dote on them. For as they that angle for the Tortoise, having once caught him, are driven into such a litherness, that they lose all their spirits, being benumbed, so they that seek to obtain the good will of Ladies, having once a little hold of their love, they are driven into such a trance, that they let go the hold of their liberty bewitched like those that view the head of Medusa, or the viper tied to the bough of the beech tree, which keepeth him in a dead sleep, though it begin with a sweet slumber.  
I myself have tasted new wine, and find it to be more pleasant than wholesome, and Grapes gathered before they be ripe, may set the eyes on lust, but they make the teeth an edge, and love desired in the bud, not knowing what the blossom were, may delight the conceits of the head, but it will destroy the contemplature of the heart.  
What I speak now is of mere good will, and yet upon small presumption, but in things which come on the sudden, one cannot be to wary to prevent, or to curious to mistrust: for thou art in a place, either to make thee hated for vice, or loved for virtue, and as thou reverencest the one before the other, so in uprightness of life show it. Thou hast good friends, which by thy lewd delights, thou mayst make great enemies and heavy foes, which by thy well doing thou mayst cause to be earnest arbettors of thee, in matters that now they canvas against thee. And so I leave thee, meaning hereafter to bear the rain of thy bridle in mine hands, if I see thee head strong: And so he departed. I gave him great thanks, & glad I was we were parted: for his putting love into my mind, was like the throwing of bugloss into Wine, which increaseth in him that drinketh it a desire of lust, though it mitigate the force of drunkenness.  
I now fetching a windless, that I might better have a shoot, was prevented with ready game, which saved me some labour, but gained me no quiet. And I would gentlemen that you could feel the like impressions in your minds at the rehearsal of my mishap, as I did passions at the entering into it. If ever you loved, you have found the like, if ever you shall love, you shall taste no less. But he so eager of an end, as one leaping over a style before he come to it, desired few Parentheses or digressions, or gloss, but the text, where he himself, was coating in the margin. Then said Fidus thus it fell out.  
It was my chance (I know not whether chance or destiny) that being invited to a banquet where many Ladies were, and too many by one, as the end tried, though then too many by all, saving that one, as I thought, I cast mine eyes so earnestly upon her, that my heart vowed her the mistress of my love, and so fully was I resolved to prosecute my determination, as I was earnest to begin it.  
Now Gentlemen, I commit my case to your considerations, being wiser than I was then, and somewhat as I guess elder: I was but in court a novice, having no friend but him before rehearsed, whom in such a matter, I was likelier to find a bridle, than a spur. I never before that time could imagine what Love should mean, but used the term as a flout to others, which I found now as a fever in myself, neither knowing from whence the occasion should arise, nor where I might seek the remedy. This distress I thought youth would have worn out, or reason or time, or absence, or if not every one of them, yet all. But as fire getting hold in the bottom of a tree, never leaveth till it come to the top, or as strong poison Antidotum being but chafed in the hand, pierceth at the last the heart, so love which I kept but low, thinking at my will to leave, entered at the last so far that it held me conquered. And then disputing with myself, I played this on the bit.  
Fidus, it standeth thee upon either to win thy love, or to wean thy affections, which choice is so hard, that thou canst not tell whether the victory will be the greater in subduing thyself, or conquering her.  
To love and to live well is wished of many, but incident to few. To live and to love well is incident to few, but indifferent to all. To love without reason is an argument of lust, to live without love, a token of folly. The measure of love is to have no mean, the end to be everlasting.  
Theseus had no need of Ariadne's thread to find the way into the Labyrinth, but to come out, nor thou of any help how to fall into these brakes, but to fall from them. If thou be witched with eyes, wear the eye of a Wesil in a ring, which is an enchantment against such charms, and reason with thyself whether there be more pleasure to be accounted amorous, or wise. Thou art in the view of the whole court, where the jealous will suspecteth upon every light occasion, where of the wise thou shalt be accounted fond, and the foolish amorous: the Ladies themselves, howsoever they look will thus imagine, that if thou take thought for love, thou art but a fool, if take it lightly, no true servant. Besides this thou art to be bound as it were an apprentice, serving seven years for that, which if thou win, is lost in seven hours, if thou love thine equal, it is no conquest▪ if thy superior, thou shalt be envy, if thine inferior, laughed at. If one that is beautiful, her colour will change before thou get thy desire: if one that is wise, she will overreache thee so far, that thou shalt never touch her: if virtuous, she will eschew such fond affection, if one deformed, she is not worthy of any affection, if she be rich, she needeth thee not: if poor, thou needest not her: if old, why shouldest thou love her, if young, why should she love thee.  
Thus Gentlemen I fed myself with mine own devices, thinking by piece mea●e to cut off that which I could not diminish, for the more I strived with reason to conquer mine appetite, the more against reason, I was subdued of mine affections.  
At the last calling to my remembrance, an old rule of love, which a courtier than told me, of whom when I demanded what was the first thing to win my Lady, he answered, Opportunity, ask what was the second, he said Opportunity: desirous to know what might be the third, he replied Opportunity. Which answers I marking as one that thought to take mine aim of so cunning an Archer, conjectured that to the beginning, continuing an ending of love, nothing could be more convenient than Opportunity, to the getting of the which I applied my whole study, and wore my wits to the stumps, assuring myself, that as there is a time, when the Hare will lick the Hounds ear, and the fierce Tigress, play with the gentle Lamb: so there was a certain season when women were to be won, in the which moment they have neither will to deny, nor wit to mistrust.  
Such a time I have read a young Gentleman found to obtain the love, of the Duchess of milan: such a time I have heard that a poor yeoman chose to get the fairest Lady in Mantua.  
Unto the which time, I trusted so much, that I sold the skin before the Beast was taken, reckoning without mine host, and setting down that in my books as ready money, which after wards I found to be a desperate debt.  
IT chanced that this my Lady (whom although I might name for the love I bore her, yet I will not for the reverence I own her but in this story call her Iffida) for to recreate her mind, as also to solace her body, went into the country, where she determined to make her abode for the space of three months, having gotten leave of those that might best give it. And in this journey I found good fortune so favourable, that her abiding was within two miles of my father's mansion house, my parents being of great familiarity with the Gentleman, where my Iffida lay. Who now so fortunate as Fidus? who so fralicke? She being in the country, it was no being for me in the court? Where every pastime was a plague, to the mind that lived in melancholy. For as the Turtle having lost her mate wandereth alone, joying in nothing but in solitariness, so poor Fidus in the absence of Iffida, walked in his chamber as one not desolate for lack of company, but desperate.  
To make short of the circumstances, which hold you too long from that you would hear, and I feign utter: I came home to my father, where at mine entrance, supper being set on the table, I espied Iffida, Iffida Gentlemen, whom I found before I sought, and lost before I won. Yet lest the alteration of my face, might argue some suspicion of my follies, I, as courtly as I could, though God knows but coarsely at that time behaved myself, as though nothing pained me, when in truth nothing pleased me. In the middle of supper Iffida as well for the acquaintance, we had in crout as also the courtesy the used in general to all, taking a Glass in her hand filled with wine, drank to me in this wise. Gentleman I am not learned, yet have I heard, that the vine beareth three grapes, the first altereth, the second troubleth, the third dulleth. Of what grape this Wine is made, I cannot tell, and therefore I must crave pardon, if either this draft change you unless it be to the better, or grieve you, except it be for greater gain, or dull you, unless it be your desire, which long preamble I use to no other purpose, then to warn you from wine hereafter, being so well counseled before. And with that she drinking, delivered me the glass. I now taking heart at grass, to see her so gamesome, as merely as I could, pledged her in this manner.  
▪ 'tis pity Lady you want a pulpit, having preached so well over the pot, wherein you both show the learning which you profess you have not, and a kind of jove which would you had: the one appeareth by your long sermon, the other by that desire you have to keep me sober, but I will refer mine answer till after supper, & in the mean season, be so temperate, as you shall not think my wit to smell of the wine, although in my opinion, such grapes set rather an edge upon wit, then abate the point. If I may speak in your cast, quoth Iffida, (the glass being at my nose) I think, wine is such a whetstone for wit, that if it be often set in that manner, it will quickly grind all the steel out, and scarce leave a back where it found an edge. With many like speeches we continued our supper, which I will not repeat, least you should think us Epicures to sit so long at our meat: but all being ended, we arose, where as the manner is, thanks & curtsy made to each other, we went to the fire, where I boldened now without blushing, took her by the hand, & thus began to kindle the flame which I should rather have quenched, seeking to blow a coal, when I should have blown out the candle.  
GEntlewoman either thou thoughts my wits very short, that a sip of wine could alter me, or else yours very sharp, to cut me off so roundly, when as I (without offence be it spoken) have heard, that as deep drinketh the Goose as the Gander.  
Gentleman (quoth she) in arguing of wits, you mistake mine, and tall your own into quession. For what I said proceeded rather of a desire to have you in health, then of malice, to wish you harm. For you well know that wine to a young blood, is in the Spring time, Flare to fire, and at all times, either unwholesome, or superfluous, and so dangerous, that more perish by a surfeit then the sword.  
I have heard wise clerk say, that Galen being asked what diet he used that he lived so long, answered: I have drunk no wine, I have touched no woman, I have kept myself warm.  
Row sir if you will licence me to proceed, this I thought, that if one of your years should take a dram of Magis, whereby consequently you should fall into an ounce of love, and then upon so great heat take a little cold, it were enough to cast you away, or turn you out of the way. And although I be no Physician, yet have, I been● used to attend sick persons, where I found nothing to hurt them so much as wine, which always b●● we with it, as the Adamant doth the iron, desire of women: how hurtful both have been, though you be too young to have fried it, yet you are old enough to believe it.  
Wine should be taken as the Dogs of Egypt drink water, by snatches, and so quench their thirst, and not hinder their running, or as the Daughters of Lysander used it, who with a drop of wine took a spoonful of water, or as the Uirgines in Rome, who drink but their eye full, contenting themselves as much with the sight, as with the taste.  
Thus to excuse myself of unkindness, you have made me almost impodent, and I you, (I fear me) impatient, in seeming to prescribe a diet where is no danger, in giving a preparative, when the body is purged. But seeing all this talk came of drinking, let it end with drinking.  
I seeing myself thus ridden, thought either she should sit fast, or else I would cast her. And thus I replied.  
Lady, you think to wade deep where the Ford is but shallow, and to enter into the secrets of my mind, when it lieth open already, wherein you use no less Art to bring me in doubt of your good will, them craft to put me out of doubt, having baited your hook both with poison and pleasure, in that, using the means of Physic (whereof you so talk) mingling sweet sirops with bitter dregs. You stand in fear that wine should inflame my liver, and convert me to a lover: truly I am framed of that metal, that I can mortify any affections, whether it be in drink or desire, so that I have no need of your Plasters, though I must needs give thanks for your pains.  
And now Phylautus, for I see Euphues begin to nod, thou shalt under stand, that in the midst of my reply, my father with the rest of the company interrupted me, saying, they would fall all to some pastime, which because it groweth late Phylautus, we will defer till the morning, for age must keep a straight dyotte, or else a sickly life.  
Phylautus tickled in every vain with delight, was loath to leave so, although not willing the good old man should break his accustomed hour, unto whom sleep was the chiefest sustenance. And so waking Euphues, who had taken a nap, they all went to their lodging, where I think Phylautus was musing upon the event of Fidus his love: But there I will leave them in their beds, till the next morning.  
GEntlemen and Gentlewomen, in the discourse of this love, it may seem I have taken a new course: but such was the time then, that it was as strange to love, as it is now common, and then less used in the Court, than it is now in the Country: But having respect to the time past, I trust you will not condeu●pne my present time, who am enforced to sing after their Playnesong that was then used, and will follow hereafter, the Crochettes that are in these days cunningly handled.  
For the minds of Lovers, altar with the mad moods of the Musicians: and so much are they within sew years changed, that we account their old wooing and singing to have so little cunning, that we esteem it barbarous, and were they living to hear our new quoying, they would judge it, to have so much curiositic, that they would term it foolish.  
In the time of Romulus, all heads were rounded of his fashion, in the time of Caesar, curled of his manner. When Cyrus lived, every one praised the hooked nose, and when he died, they allowed the strait nose. And so it fareth with love, in times past, they used to woo in plain terms, now in picked sentences, and he speedeth best that speaketh wisest: every one following the newest way, which is not ever the nearest wape: some going over the style, when the gate is open, an other keeping the right beaten path, when he may cross over better by the fields.  
Every one followeth his own: fancy, which maketh divers leap short, for want of good rising, and many shoot over, for lack of true aim.  
And to that pass it is come that they make an Art of that, which was wont to be thought natural: And thus it standeth that it is not yet determined, whether in love Ulysses more prevailed with his wit, or Paris with his parsonage, or Achilles with his prowess.  
For every of them have Venus by the hand, and they are all assured and certain to win her heart.  
But I had almost forgotten the old man, who useth not to sleep compass, whom I see with Euphues & Phylautus now already in the garden ready to proceed with his tale: which if it seem tedious, we will break off again when they go to dinner.  
FIdus calling these Gentlemen up, brought them into his garden, where under a sweet Arbour of Eglantine, the birds recording their sweet notes, he also strained his old pipe, and thus began.  
GEntlemen yester night, I left off abruptly, and therefore I must begin in the like manner.  
My Father placed us all in good order, requesting either by questions to whet our wits, or by stories to try our memories, & Iffida that might best there be bold, being the best in the company, & at all assays too good for me, began again to preach in this manner. Thou art a Courtier Fidus, and therefore best able to resolve any question: for I know thy wit good to understand, and ready to answer: to thee therefore I address my talk.  
THere was some time in Sienna, a Magnifico, whom God blessed with three daughters, but by three wives, and of three sundry qualities: the eldest was very fair, but a very fool: the second marvelous witty, but yet marvelous wanton: the third as virtuous as any living, but more deformed than any that ever lived.  
The noble Gentleman their father, disputed for the bestowing of them with himself, thus.  
I thank the Gods, that have given me three daughters, who in their bosoms carry their dowries, insomuch as I shall not need to disburse one Mite for all them marriages. Maidens be they never so foolish, yet being fair they are commonly fortunate: for that men in these days have more respect to the outward show, than the in ward substance, wherein they imitate good Lapidaries, who choose the stones that delight the eye, measuring the value, not by the hidden virtue, but by the outward glistering: or wise Painters, who lay their best colours, upon their worst counterfeit.  
And in this me thinketh Nature hath dealt indifferently, that a fool whom every one abhorreth, should have beauty, which every one desireth: that the ercellency of the one, might excuse the vanity of the other: for as we in nothing more differ from the Gods, then when we are fools: so in nothing do we come near them so much, as when we are amiable. This caused Helen to be snatched up for a Star, and Ariadne to be placed in the Heavens not that they were wise, but fair, fit to add a Majesty to the Sky, then bear a Majesty in Earth. juno for all her jealousy, beholding Iò, wished to be no Goddess, so she might be so gallant. Love cometh in at the eye, not at the care, by seeing Natures works, not by hearing women's words. And such effects & pleasure doth sight bring unto us, that divers have lived by looking on fair and beautiful pictures, desiring no meat, nor hearkening to any Music. What made the Gods so often to truant from Heaven & much here on earth, but beauty? What made men to imagine, that the Firmament was god, but the beauty? which is said to be witch the wise, and enchant them that made it. Pygmalion for beauty, loved an Image of ivory, Appelles the counterfeit of Campaspe, and none we have heard off so senseless, that the name of beauty, cannot either break or bend.  
It is this only that Princes desire in their houses, Gardens, Orchards, and Beds, following Alexander, who more esteemed the face of Venus not yet finished, than the Table of the nine Muses perfected. And I am of that mind that there can be nothing given unto mortal men by the immortal Gods, either more noble or more necessary than beauty. For as when the counterfeit of , was shown at a market, every one would feign buy it, because Zeuxis had therein showed his greatest cunning: so when a beautiful woman appeareth in a multitude, every man is drawn to sue to her, for that the Gods (the only Painters of beauty) have in her expressed, the art of their Deity. But I will here rest myself, knowing that if I should run so far as beauty would carry me I should sooner want breath to tell her praises, than matter to prove them, thus I am persuaded, that my fair daughter shall be well married, for there is none, that will or can demand a greater jointer than beauty.  
My second child is witty, but yet wanton, which in my mind, rather addeth a delight to the man, than a disgrace to the maid, and so linked are those two qualities together, that to be wanton without wit, is Apishnes: and to be thought witty without wantonness, preciseness. When Lais being very pleasant, had told a merry jest: it is pity said Aristippus, that Lais having so good a wit, should be a wanton. Yea quoth Lais, but it were more pity, that Lais should be a wanton and have no good wit. Osiris King of the Egyptians, being much delighted with pleasant conceits, would often affirm, that he had rather have a virgin, that could give a quick answer that might cut him, than a mild speech that might claw him.  
When it was objected to a gentlewoman, that she was neither fair nor fortunate, & yet quoth she wise and well favoured, thinking it the chiefest gift that Nature could bestow to have a Nutbrown hue, and an excellent head. It is wit that allureth, when every word shall have his weight, when nothing shall proceed, but it shall either favour of a sharp conceit, or a secret conclusion. And this is the greatest thing to conceive readily, and answer aptly, to understand whatsoever is spoken, and to reply as though they understood nothing. A Gentleman that once loved a Lady most entirely, walking with her in a Park, with a deep sigh began to say, O that women could be constant, she replied, O that they could not, Pulling her hat over her head, why quoth the Gentleman doth the Sun offend your eyes, yea, answered she the son of your mother, which quick and ready replies, being well marked of him, he was enforced to sue for that which he was determined to shake off. A noble man in Sienna, disposed to jest with a Gentlewoman of mean birth, yet excellent qualities, between game and earnest 'gan thus to salute her. I know not how I should commend your beauty, because it is somewhat too brown, nor your stature being somewhat too low, & of your wit I can not judge, no quoth she I believe you, for none can judge of wit, but they that have it, why then quoth he, dost thou think me a fool, thought is free my Lord quoth she, I will not take you at your wor●. He perceiving all outward faults to be recompensed with inward favour, chose this virgin for his wife. And in my simple opinion, he did a thing both worthy his stock and her virtue. It is wit that flourisheth, when beauty fadeth: that waxeth young when age approacheth, and resembleth the ivy leaf, who although it be dead, continueth green. And because of all creatures, the woman's wit is most excellent, therefore have the Poets feigned the Muses to be women, the Nymphs the Goddesses, ensamples of whose rare wisdoms, and sharp capacities, would nothing but make me commit Idolatry with my daughter. I never heard but of three things which argued a fine wit, invention, conceiving, answering. Which have all been found so common in women, that were it not I should flatter them, I should think them singular.  
Then this sufficeth me, that my second daughter shall not lead Apes in Hell, though she have not a penny for the Priest, because she is witty, which bindeth weak things, and looseth strong things, and worketh all things, in those that have either wit themselves, or love wit in others.  
My youngest though no pearl to hang at ones ear, yet so precious she is to a well disposed mind, that grace seemeth almost to disdain Nature. She is deformed in body, flow of speech, crabbed in countenance, and almost in all parts crooked: but in behaviour so honest, in prayer so devout, so precise in all her dealings, that I never heard her speak any thing that either concerned not good instruction, or Godly mirth.  
Who never delighteth in costly apparel, but ever desireth homely attire, accounting no bravery greater than virtue: who beholding her ugly shape in a Glass, smile said: This face were fair, if it were turned: noting that the inward motions would make the outward favour but counterfeit. For as the precious stone Sandastra, hath nothing in outward appearance but that which seemeth black, but being broken poureth forth beams like the Sun: so virtue showeth but bare to the outward eye, but being pierced with inward desire, shineth like Crystal. And this dare I avouch, that as the Trogloditae which digged in the filthy ground for roots, and found the inestimable stone Topason, which enriched them ever after: so he that seeketh after my youngest daughter, which is deformed, shall find the great treasure of piety, to comfort him during his life. Beautiful women are but like the Ermine, whose skin is desired, whose carcase is despised, the virtuous contrariwise, are then most liked, when their skin is least loved.  
Then ought I to take least care for her, whom every one that is honest will care for: so that I will quiet myself with this persuasion that every one shall have a wooer shortly. Beauty cannot live without a husband, wit will not, virtue shall not.  
NOw Gentleman, I have propounded my reasons, for every one I must now ask you the question. If it were your chance to travail to Sienna, and to see as much there as I have told you here, whether would you choose for your wife the fair fool, the witty wanton, or the crooked Saint.  
When she had finished, I stood in a maze, seeing three hooks laid in one bait, uncertain to answer what might please her, yet compelled to say somewhat, lest I should discredit myself: But seeing all were whist, to hear my judgement, I replied thus.  
LAdy Iffida, & Gentlewomen all, I mean not to travel to Sienna to woo Beauty, lest in coming home the air change it, and then my labour be lost: neither to seek so far for wit, lest she account me a fool, when I might speed as well nearer hand, nor to sue to Virtue, lest in Italy I be infected with vice: and so looking to get jupiter by the hand, I catch Pluto by the heel.  
But if you will imagine that great Magnifico to have sent his three Daughters into England, I would thus debate with them, before I would bargain with them. I love beauty well, but I could not find in my heart to marry a fool: for if she be impudent, I shall not rule her: and if she be obstinate, she will rule me, and myself none of the wisest, me thinketh it were no good match, for two fools in one bed are too many.  
Wit of all things setteth my fancies on edge, but I should hardly choose a wanton: for be she never so wise, if always she want one when she hath me, I had as lief she should want me too, for of all my apparel I would have my cap sit close.  
Virtue I cannot mislike, which he thereto I have honoured, but such a crooked Apostle I never brooked: for virtue may well fat my mind, but it will never feed mine eye, and in marriage, as market folks tell me, the husband should have two eyes, & the wife but one, but in such a match it is as good to have no eye, as no appetite.  
But to answer of three inconveniences, which I would choose, (although each threaten a mischief) I must needs take the wise wanton, who if by her wantonness, she will never want where she likes, yet by her wit she will ever conceal whom she loves, & to wear a horn and not know it, will do me no more harm, then to eat a Fly, and not see it.  
Iffida I know not whether stung with mine answer, or not content with my opinion, replied in this manner.  
Then Fidus, when you match, God send you such a one as you like best: but be sure always, that your head be not higher than your hat. And thus feigning an excuse departed to her lodging, which caused all the company to break off their determined pastimes, leaving me perplexed with a hundred contrary imaginations.  
For this Phylautus thought I, that either I did not hit the question which she would, or that I hit it too full against her will: for to say the truth, witty she was, and somewhat merry, but God knoweth so far from wantonness, as myself was from wisdom, & I as far from thinking ill of her, as I found her from taking me well.  
Thus all night tossing in my bed, I determined the next day, if any opportunity were offered, to offer also my importunate service. And found the time fit, though her mind so froward, that to think of it my heart throbbeth, and to utter it, will bleed freshly.  
The next day I coming to the gallery, where she was solytarily walking with her frowning cloth, as sick lately of the sullens, understanding my father to be gone on hunting, and all other the Gentlewomen either walked throade to take the air, or not yet ready to come out of their chambers, I adventured in one ship to put all my wealth, and at this time to open my long concealed love, determining either to be a Knight as we say, or a knitter of caps. And in this manner, I uttered my first speech.  
LAdy, to make a long preamble to a short suit would seem superfluous, and to begin abruptly in a matter of great weight, might be thought absurve: so as I am brought into a doubt whether I should offend you with too many words, or hinder myself with too few. She not staying for a longer treatise, broke me off thus roundly.  
Gentleman a short suit is soon made, but great matters not easily granted, if your request be reasonable, a word will serve, if not, a thousand will not suffice. Therefore, if there be any thing that I may do you pleasure in, see it be honest, and use not tedious discourses or colours of rhetoric, which though they be thought courtly, yet are they not esteemed necessary: for the purest Emerald shineth brightest, when it hath no Dyle, and truth delighteth when it is appareled worst.  
Then I thus replied.  
Fair Lady as I know you wise, so have I found you courteous, which two qualities meeting in one of so rare beauty, must foreshow some great marvel, and works such effects in those that either have heard of your praise or seen your person, that they are enforced to offer themselves unto your sernice, among the number of which your vassals, I, though least worthy, yet most willing, am now come to proffer both my life to do you good, and my livings to be at your command, which frank offer proceeding of a faithful mind, can neither be refused of your nor misliked. And because I would cut off speeches which might seem to favour, either of flattery, or deceit, I conclude thus, that as you are the first, unto whom I have vowed my love, so you shall be the last, requiring nothing but a friendly acceptance of my service, and goodwill for the reward of it.  
Iffida whose right ear began to gloe, and both whose cheeks warred red, either with choler or bashfulness, took me up thus for stumbling.  
GEntleman, you make me blush, as much for anger as shame, that seeking to praise me and proffer yourself, you both bring my good name into question, and your ill meaning into disdain: so that thinking to present me with your heart, you have thrust into my hands the serpent Amphisbena, which having at each end, a sting, hurteth both ways. You term me fair, and therein you flatter, wise, and therein you mean witty: courteous, which in other plain words, if you durst have uttered it, you would have named wanton.  
Have you thought me Fidus, so light, that none but I could fit your looseness? or am I the witty wanton, which you harped upon yesternight, that would always give you the sting in the head? you are much deceived in me Fidus, and I as much in you? for you shall never find me for your appetite, and I had thought never to have tasted you so unpleasant to mine. If I be amiable, I will do those things that are fit for so good a face: if deformed, those things which shall make me fair. And howsoever I live, I pardon your presumption▪ knowing it to be no less common in Court, then foolish, to tell a fair tale to a foul Lady, wherein they sharpen, I confess their wits, but show as I think small wisdom, & you among the rest, because you would be accounted courtly, have assayed to feel the vain, you cannot see, wherein you follow not the best Physicians yet the most, who feeling the pulses, do always say it betokeneth an Ague, and you seeing my pulses beat, pleasantly judge me apt to fall into a fools Fever, which lest it happen to shake me hereafter I am minded to shake you off now, using but one request, where I should seek oft to revenge, that is, that you never attempt by word or writing to solicit your suit, which is no more pleasant to me, than the wring of a straight shoe.  
When she had uttered these bitter words, she was going into her chamber: but I that now had no stay of myself, began to stay her, and thus again to reply.  
Iperceive Iffida that where the stream runneth smoothest the water is deepest, and where the least smoke is there to be the greatest fire: and where the mildest countenance is, there to be the melancholiest conceits. I swear to thee by the Gods, and there she interrupted me again, in this manner.  
FIdus the more you swear the less I believe you, for that it is a practice in Love, to have as little care of their own oaths, as they have of others honours, imitating jupiter, who never kept oath he swore to juno, thinking it lawful in love to have as small regard of Religion, as he had of chastity. And because I will not feed you with delays, nor that you should comfort yourself with trial, take this for a flat answer, that as yet I mean not to love any, and if I do, it is not you, and so I leave you. But once again I stayed her steps being now thoroughly heated as well with love as with choler, and thus I thundered.  
IF I had used the policy that hunters do, in catching of Hyena, it might be also, I had now won you: but coming of the right side, I am entangled myself & had it been on the left side, I should have inveigled thee. Is this the guerdon for good will, is this the courtesy of Ladies, the life of Courtiers, the food of lovers? Ah Iffida, little dost thou know the force of affection, & therefore thou rewardest it lightly, neither showing courtesy like a Lover, nor giving thanks like a Lady. If I should compare my blood with thy birth, I am as noble: if my wealth with thine, as rich: if confer qualities, not much inferior: but in good will as far above thee, as thou art beyond me in pride.  
Dost thou disdain me because thou art beautiful? why colours fade, when courtesy flourisheth. Dost thou reject me for that thou art wise? why wit having told all his cards, lacketh many an ace of wisdom. But this is incident to women to love those that least rare for them, and to hate those that most desire them, making a stack of that, which they should use for a stomacher.  
And seeing it is so, better lost they are with a little grudge, then found with much grief, better sold for sorrow, then bought for repentance, and better to make no account of love, than an occupation: Where all one's service be it never so great is never thought enough, when were it never so little, it is too much, When I had thus raged, she thus replied.  
FIdus you go the wrong way to the Wood, in making a gap, when the gate is open, or in seeking to enter by force, when your next way lieth by favour. Wherein you follow the humour of Ajax, who losing Achilles' shield by reason, thought to win it again by rage: but it fell out with him as it doth commonly with all those that are cholarike, that he hurt no man but himself, neither have you moved any to offence but yourself. And in my mind, though simple be the comparison, yet seemly it is, that your anger is like the wrangling of children, who when they cannot get what they would have by play, they fall to crying, & not unlike the use of foul gamesters who having lost the main by true judgement, think to face it out with a false oath, and you missing of my love, which you required in sport, determine to hit it by spite. If you have a commission to take up Ladies, let me see it: If a privilege, let me know it: if a custom, I mean to break it  
You talk of your birth, when I know there is no difference of bloods in a basin, and as little do I esteem those that boast of their ancestors, and have themselves no virtue, as I do of those that crack of their love and have no modesty. I know Nature hath provided, and I think our laws allow it, that one may love when they see their time, not that they must love when others appoint it.  
Where as you bring in a rabble of reasons, as it were to bind me against my will, I answer that in all respects I think you so far to exdell me, that I cannot find in my heart to match with you. For one of so great good will as you are, to encounter with one of such ●eide as I am, were neither commendable nor convenient, no more than a patch of Fustian in a Damasi●e ●oase.  
As for my beauty and wit, I had rather make them better than they are, being now but mean by virtue, then worse than they are, which would then he nothing by love.  
Now where as you bring in (I. know not by what peoofe, for I think you were never so much of women's counsels (that there women best like, where they be least beloved, then ought they more to pity us, not to oppress us, seeing we have neither free will to choose, nor fortune to enjoy. Then Fidus since your eyes are so sharp, that you cannot only look through a Millstone, but clean through the mind, and so cunning that you can level at the dispositions of women whom you never knew, me thinketh you should use the mean, if you desire to have the end, which is to hate those whom you would feign have to love you, for this have you set for a rule (yet out of square) that women than love most, when they be loathed most. And to the end I might stoop to your lure, I pray begin to hate me that I may love you.  
Touching your losing and finding, your buying and selling, it much skilleth not, for I had rather you should lose me so you might never find me again, then find me that I should think myself lost: And rather had I be sold of you for a penny, then bought for you with a pound. If you mean either to make an Art or an Occupation of Love, I doubt not but you shall find work in the Court sufficient: but you shall not know the length of my foot, until by your cunning you get commendation. A Phrase now there is which belongeth to your Shop board, that is to make love, and when I shall hear of what fashion it is made, if I like the pattorne, you shall cut me a partlet: so as you cut it not with a pair of left handed shears. And I doubt not though you have marred your first love in the making, yet by the time you have made three or four loves, you will prove an expert workman: for as yet you are like the tailors boy, who thinketh to take measure before he can handle the shears.  
And thus I protest unto you, because you are but a young beginner, that I will help you to as much custom as I can, so as you will promise me to sow no false stitches, and when mine old love is worn threadbare, you shall take measure of a new.  
In the meaneseason do not discourage yourself, Appelles was no good Painter the first day: For in every occupation one must first endeavour to begin: He that will sell lawn must learn to fold it, and he that will make love, must learn first to court it.  
As she was in this vain very pleasant, so I think she would have been very long, had not the Gentlewomen called her to walk being so saire a day: then taking her leave very courteously she left me alone, yet turning again she said: will you not man us Fidus, being so proper a man? Yes quoth I, and without ask too, had you been a proper woman. Then smiling the said: you should find me a proper woman, had you been a proper workman. And so she departed.  
Now Phylautus and Euphues, what a trance was I left in, who bewailing my love, was answered with hate: or if not with hate, with such a kind of heat, as almost burnt the very bowels within me. What greater discourtesy could there possibly rest in the mind of a Gentlewoman, then with so many nips, such bitter girds, such disdainful gliek●s, to answer him that honoured her? What cruelty more unfit for so comely a lady, then to spur him that galloped or to let him blood in the heart, whose vain she should have staunched in the liver? But it fared with me, as with the herb basil, the which the more it is crushed, the sooner it springeth, or the Rew, which the oftener it is cut, the better it groweth or the Poppy, which the more it is trodden with the feet, the more it flourisheth. For in these extremities, beaten as it were to the ground with disdain, my love reacheth to the top of the house with hope, not unlike unto a Tree, which though it be often felled to the hard root, yet it buddeth again, and getteth a top.  
But to make an end, both of my tale and my sorrows, I will proceed, only craving a little patience, if I fall into mine old passions: With that, Phylautus came in with his spoke saying: in faith Fidus, me thinketh I could never be weary in hearing this discourse, and I fear me the end will be too soon, although I feel in myself the impression of thy sorrows.  
Yea quoth Euphues, you shall find my friend Phylautus so kind hearted that before you have done, he will be farther in love with her, than you were: for as your Lady said, Phylautus will be bound to make love as warden of that occupation. Then Fidus: Well, God grant Phylautus better success than I had, which was too bad. For my Father being returned from hunting and the Gentlewomen from walking, the table was covered and we all set down to dinner, none more pleasant than Iffida, which would not conclude her mirth, and I not melancholy, because I would cover my sadness, lest either she might think me to dote, or my Father suspect me to desire her. And thus we both in table talk began to rest. She requesting me to be her Carver, and I not attending well to that she craved, gave her salt, which when she received, she 'gan thus to reply.  
IN sooth Gntle-man I seldom eat salt, for fear of anger, and if you give it me in token that I want wit, then will you make me cholaricke, before I eat it: for women be they never so foolish, would ever be thought wise.  
I stayed not long for mine answer, but as well quickened by her former talk, and desirous to cry quittance for her present tongue, said thus.  
If to eat store of salt, cause one to fret, and to have no salt fignifi● lack of wit, then do you cause me to marvel, that eating no salt you are so captious, and loving no salt, you are so wise, when in deed so much wit is sufficient for a woman, as when she is in the rain, can warn her to come out of it.  
You mistake your aim quoth Iffida, for such a shower may fall, as did once into Danae's lap, and then that woman were a fool that would come out of it: but it may be your mouth is out of taste, therefore you were best season it with salt. In deed quoth I, your answers are so fresh, that without salt I can hardly swallow them. Many nips were returned that time between us, and some so bitter that I thought them to proceed rather of malice to work despite, than of mirth to show disport. My Father very desirous to hear questions asked, willed me after dinner to use some demand, which after grace I did in this sort.  
Lady Iffida, it is not unlikely but that you can answer a question as wisely as the last night you asked one wilyly, & I trust you will be as ready to resolve any doubt, by entreaty, as I was by commandment. There was a Lady in Spain, who after the decease of her Father, had three suitors (& yet never a good Archer) the one excelled in all gifts of the body, insomuch that there could be nothing added to his perfection, and so armed in all points, as his very looks were able to pierce the heart of any Lady, especially of such a one, as seemed herself to have no less beauty than she had parsonage. For that as between the similitude of manners, there is a friendship in every respect absolute: so in the composition of the body, there is a certain love engendered by one look, where both the bodies resemble each other, as woven both in one loom.  
The other had nothing to commend him, but a quick wit, which he had always so at his will, that nothing could be spoken, but he would wrest it to his own purpose, which wrought such delight to this Lady, who was no less witty than he, that you would have thought a marriage to be solemnized before the match could be talked off. For there is nothing in love more requisite or more delectable than pleasant and wise conference, neither can there arise any storm, in love, which by wit is not turned to a calm.  
The third was a Gentleman of great possessions, large revenues, full of money, but neither the wisest that ever enjoyed so much, nor the properest that ever desired so much, he had no plea in his suit, but guilt, which rubbed well in a hot hand, is such a grease, as will supple a very hard heart. And who is so ignorant, that knoweth not gold to be a key for every lock, chief with his Lady, who herself was well stored, and as yet infected with a desire of more, that she could not but lend him a good countenance in this match.  
Now Lady Iffida, you are to determine this Spanish bargain or if you please, we will make it an English controversy: supposing you to be the Lady and three such Gentlemen to come unto you a wooing, In faith who should be the spéeder.  
GEntleman (quoth Iffida) you may answer your own question by your own argument if you would, for if you conclude the Lady to be beautiful, witty, and wealthy, than no doubt she will take such a one, as should have comeliness of body, sharpness of wit, and store of riches: Otherwise, I would condemn that wit in her, which you seem so much to commend, herself excelling in three qualities, she should take one, which was endued but with one: in perfect love the eye must be pleased, the ear delighted, the heart comforted: beauty causeth the one, with the other, wealth the third.  
To love only for comeliness, were lust: to like for wit only, madness: to desire chief for goods, covetousness: and yet can there be no love without beauty, but we loathe it: nor without wit, but we scorn it: nor with out riches, but we repent it. Every flower hath his blossom, his savour, his sap, and every desire, should have to feed the eye, to please the wit, to maintain the root.  
 may cast an amiable countenance, but that feedeth not: Ulysses tell a witty tale, but that fatteth not: Croesus bring bags of gold, and that doth both: yet without the aid of beauty he cannot bestow it, and without wit, he knows not how to use it So that I am of this mind, there is no Lady but in her choice will be so resolute, that either she will live a Virgin, till she have such a one, as shall have all these three properties, or else die for anger, if she match with one that wanteth any one of them.  
I perceiving her to stand so stifely, thought if I might to remove her footing, and replied again.  
LAdy you now think by policy to start, where you bound me to answer by necessity, not suffering me to join three flowers in one Nosegay, but to choose one, or else to leave all. The like must I crave at your hands, that if of force you must consent to any one, whether would you have the proper man▪ the wise, or the rich.  
She as not without an answer, quickly requited me.  
ALthough there be no force which may compel me to take any, neither a proffer, whereby I might choose all: Yet to answer you flatly, I would have the wealthiest, for beauty without riches, goeth a begging, and wit without wealth cheapneth all things in the Fair, but buyeth nothing.  
Truly Lady quoth I▪ either you speak not as you think, or you be far overshot, for me thinketh, that he that hath beauty, shall have money, of ladies for alms, and he that is witty will get it by craft: but the rich having enough, and neither loved for shape nor sense, must either keep his gold for those he knows not, and spend it on them that cares not. Well answered Iffida, so many men, so many minds, now you have my opinion, you must not think to wring me from it, for I had rather be as all women are, obstinate in mine own conceit, then apt to be wrought to others constructions.  
My father liked her choice, whether it were to flatter her, or for fear to offend her, or that he loved money himself better then either wit or beauty. And our conclusions thus ended, she accompanied with her Gentlewomen and other her servants, went to her Uncles, having tarried a day longer with my father then she appointed, though not so many with me, as she was welcome.  
Ah Phylautus, what torments didst thou think poor Fidus endured, who now felt the flame even to take full hold of his heart, and thinking by solitariness to drive away melancholy, and by imagination to forget love, I laboured no otherwise then he that to have his Horse stand still, pricketh him with the spur, or he that having sore eyes rubbeth them with salt water. At the last with continual abstinence from meat, from company, from sleep my body began to consume, and my head to ware idle, in so much that the sustenance which perforce was thrust into my mouth, was never digested, nor the talk which came from my addle brains liked: For ever in my slumber me thought Iffida presented herself, now with a countenance pleasant & merry, straight ways with a colour full of wrath and mischief.  
My father no less sorrowful for my disease; then ignorant of the cause, sent for divers Physicians, among the which there came an Italian, who feeling my pulses, casting my water, & marking my looks, commanded the chamber to be voided, and shutting the door applied this medicine to my malady. Gentleman there is none that can better heal your wound than he that made it, so that you should have sent for Cupid, not Aesculapius, for although they be both Gods, yet will they not meddle in each others office. Appelles' will not go about to amend Lisippus carving, yet they both wrought Alexander: nor Hypocrates busy himself with Ovid's art, and yet they both described Venus. Your humeur is to be purged not by Apothecary's confections, but by the following of good counsel.  
You are in love Fidus? which if you cover in a close chest, will burn every place before it burst the lock. For as we know by Physic that poison will disperse itself into every vain, before it part the heart: so I have hard by those that in love could say somewhat, that it maimeth every part, before it kill the liver. If therefore you will make me privy to all your devices, I will procure such means, as you shall recover in short space, otherwise if you seek to conceal the party, and increase your passions, you shall but shorten your life, and so lose your love, for whose sake you live.  
When I heard my Physician so pat to hit my disease, I could not dissemble with him, lest he should bewray it, neither would I, in hope of remedy.  
Unto him I discoursed the faithful love, which I bore to Iffida, and described in every particular, as to you I have done. Which he hearing, procured within one day, Lady Iffida to see me, telling my father that my disease was but a consuming Fever, which he hoped in short time to cure.  
When my Lady came, and saw me so altered in a month, wasted to the hard bones, more like a ghost then a living creature, after many words of comfort (as women want none about sick persons) when she saw opportunity, she asked me whether the Italian were my messenger, or if he were, whether his embassage were true, which question I thus answered.  
LAdy to dissemble with the world, when I am departing from it, would profit me nothing with man, and hinder me much with God, to make my deathbed the place of deceit, might hasten my death, and increase my danger.  
I have loved you long, and now at the length must leave you, whose hard heart I will not impute to discourtesy, but destiny, it contenteth me that I died in faith, though I could not live in favour, neither was I ever more desirous to begin my love▪ then I am now to end my life. Things which cannot be altered are to be borne, not blamed: follies past are sooner remembered then redressed, and time lost may well be repent but never recalled. I will not recount the passions I have suffered, I think the effect show them, and now it is more behoveful for me to fall to praying for a new life, then to remember the old: yet this I add (which though it merit no mercy to save, it deserveth thanks of a friend) that only I loved thee, and lived for thee, and now die for thee. And so turning on my left side, I fetched a deep sigh.  
Iffyda the water standing in her eyes, clasping my hand in hers, with a sad countenance answered me thus.  
MY good Fidus, if the increasing of my sorrows, might mitigate the extremity of thy sickness, I could be content to resolve myself into tears to rid thee of trouble: but the making of a fresh wound in my body, is nothing to the healing of a festered sore in thy bowels: for that such diseases are to be cured in the end, by the means of their Original. For as by Basil the Scorpion is engendered, and by the means of the same herb destroyed: so love which by time and fancy is bred in an idle head, is by time and fancy banished from the heart: or as the Salamander which being a long space nourished in the fire, at the last quencheth it, so affection having taken hold of the fancy, and living as it were in the mind of the lover, in tract of time altereth and changeth the heat, and turneth it to chillness.  
It is no small grief to me Fidus, that I should be thought to be the cause of thy languishing, and cannot be remedy of thy disease. For unto thee I will reveal more than either wisdom would allow, or my modesty permit.  
And yet so much, as may acquit me of ungratitude towards thee, and rid thee of the suspicion conceived of me.  
SO it is Fidus and my good friend, that about a two years past, there was in court a Gentleman, not unknown unto thee, nor I think unbeloved of thee, whose name I will not conceal, least thou shouldest either think me to forge, or him not worthy to be named.  
This Gentleman was called Thirsus, in all respects so well qualified, as had he not been in love with me, I should have been enamoured of him. But his hastiness prevented my heat, who began to sue for that, which I was ready to proffer, whose sweet tale although I wished it to be true, yet at the first I could not believe it: For that men in matters of love, have as many ways to deceive, as they have words to utter.  
I seemed strait laced, as one neither accustomed to such suits, nor willing to entertain such a servant, yet to warily, as putting him from me with my little finger, I drew him to me with my whole hand. For I stood in a great mammering, how I might behave myself, least being too coy, he might think me proud, or using too much courtesy he might judge me wanton. Thus long time I held him in a doubt, thinking thereby to have just trial of his faith, or plain knowledge of his falsehood. In this manner, I lead my life, almost one year, until which often meeting, & divers conferences, I felt myself▪ so wounded, that though I thought no heaven to my hap, yet I lived as it were in hell, till I had enjoyed my hope. For as the tree Ebenus though it no way be set in a flame, yet it burneth with sweet savours: so my mind though it could not be fired, for that I thought myself wise, yet was it almost consumed to ashes with pleasant delights & sweet cogitations: insomuch as it fared with me as it doth with the trees, stricken with thunder, which having the barks sound are bruised in the body, for finding my outward parts, without blemish, looking into my mind could not see it without blows.  
I now perceiving it high time to use the Physician, who was always at hand, determined at the next meeting, to conclude such a faithful and inviolable league of love, as neither the length of time, nor the distance of place, nor the threatening of friends, nor the spite of Fortune, nor the fear of death, shouldh either altar, or diminish: which accordingly was then finished, and hath hitherto been truly fulfilled.  
Thirsus as thou knowest, hath ever since been beyond the Seas, the remembrance of whose constancy, is the only comfort of my life: neither do I rejoice in any thing more, then in the faith of my good Thirsus.  
Then Fidus, I appeal in this case to thy honesty, which shall determine of mine honour. wouldst thou have me inconstant to mine old friend, and faithful to a new? Knowest thou not that as the Almond tree beareth most fruit when he is old, so love hath greatest faith when it groweth in age. It falleth out in love, as if doth in vines, for the young vines bring the most wine, but the old the best: So tender love maketh greatest show of blossoms, but tried love bringeth forth sweetest juice.  
And yet I will say thus much, not to add courage to thy attempts, that I have taken as great delight in thy company, as ever I did in any's, (my Thirsus only excepted) which was the cause that oftentimes I would either by questions move thee to talk, or by quarrels incense thee to choler, perceiving in thee a wit answerable to my desire, which I thought thoroughly to whet by some discourse. But wert thou in comeliness Alexander, and my Thirsus, Thirsites, wert thou Ulysses, he Midas, thou Croesus he Codrus, I would not forsake him to have thee, no not if I might thereby prolong thy life, or save mine own: so fast a root hath true love taken in my heart, that the more it is digged at, the deeper it groweth the oftener it is cut, the less it bleedeth, and the more it is loaden the better it beareth.  
What is there in this vile earth that more commendeth a woman than constancy? It is neither his wit, though it be excellent, that I esteem, neither his birth though it be noble, nor his bringing up, which hath always been courtly, but only his constancy and my faith, which no torments, no tyrant, not death, shall dissolve. For never shall it be said, that Iffida was false to Thirsus, though Thirsus be faithless (which the Gods forfend) unto Iffida.  
For as Amulius the cunning Painter so portrayed Minerva, that which way soever one cast his eye, she always beheld him: so hath Cupid, so exquisitely drawn the Image of Thirsus in my heart, that what way soever I glance, me thinketh he looketh steadfastly upon me: insomuch that when I have seen any to gaze on my beauty (simple God wots though it be) I have wished to have the eyes of Augustus Caesar to dim their sights with the sharp and scorching beams.  
Such force hath time and trial wrought, that if Thirsus should die, I would be buried with him, imitating the Eagle which Sesta a Virgin brought up, who seeing the bones of the virgin cast into the fire, threw himself in with them, and burned himself with them. Or Hypocrates Twins, who were borne together, laughed together, wept together, and died together.  
For as Alexander would be engraven of no one man in a precious stone, but only of Pergotales: so would I have my picture imprinted in no heart, but in his, by Thirsus.  
Consider with thyself Fidus, that a fair woman with out constancy, is not unlike unto a green tree without fruit, resembling the Counterfeit that Praxitiles, made for Flora, before the which, if one stood directly, if seemed to weep, if on the left side to laugh, if on the other side to sleep: whereby he noted the light behaviour of her, which could not in one constant shadow be set down.  
And yet for the great good will thou bearest me, I cannot reject thy service, but I will not admit thy love. But if either my friends, or myself, my goods, or my good will, may stand thee in stead, use me, trust me, command me, as far forth, as thou canst with modesty, and I may grant with mine honour.  
If to talk with me, or continualye to be in thy company, may in any respect satistic thy desire, assure thyself, I will attend on thee, as diligently as thy Nurse and be more careful for thee, than thy Physician. More I cannot promise without breach of my faith, more thou canst not ask, without the suspicion of folly.  
Here Fidus take this Diamond which I have heard old women say to have been of great force against idle thoughts, vain dreams, and frantic imaginations, which if it do thee no good, assure thyself it can do thee no harm, and better I think it against such enchanted fantasies, than either Homer'S Moly, or Pliny's Centaurio.  
When my Lady had ended this strange discourse, I was stricken into such a maze, that for the space almost of half an hour, I lay as it had been in a Trance, mine eyes almost standing in my head without motion, my face without colour, my mouth without breath, insomuch that Iffida began to screech out, and call company, which called me also to myself, and then with a faint and trembling tongue, I uttered these words.  
LAdy, I cannot use as many words as I would, because you see I am weak, nor give so many thanks as I should, for that you deserve infinite. If Thirsus have planted the vine, I will not gather the Grapes, neither is it reason, that he having sowed with pain, that I should reap the pleasure. This sufficeth me, and delighteth me not a little, that you are so faithful and he so fortunate. Yet good Lady let me obtain one small suit, which derogating nothing from your true love, must needs be lawful, that is, that I may in this my sickness enjoyo your company, and if I recover, be admitted as your servant: the one will hasten my health, the other prolong my life. She courteously granted both, and so carefully tended me in my sickness, that what with her merry sporting, & good nourishing, I began to gather up my orumbos, and in short time to walk into a Gallery near adjoining unto my Chamber, where she disdained not to lead me, and so at all times to use me, as though I had ven Thirsus. Every evening she would put forth some pretty question, or utter some merry conceit, to drive me from melancholy. There was no broth that would dosun but of her making, no meat but of her dressing, no sleep enter into mine eyes, but by her singing, insomuch as she was both my Nurse, my Cook, and my Physician. Being thus by her for the space of one month cherished, I warred strong as though I had never been sick.  
NOw Phylautus judge not partially, whether was she a Lady of greater constancy towards Thirfus, or courtesy towards me?  
Phylautus thus answered. Now surely Fidus, in my opinion, she was no less to be commended for keeping her faith inviolable, then to be praised for giving such alms unto thee, which good behaviour differeth far from the nature of our Italian Dames, who if they be constant they despise all other that seem to love them.  
But I long yet to hear the end for me thinketh a matter begun with such a heat, should not end with a bitter cold.  
O Phylautus, the end in short and lamentable, but as it is have it.  
SHe after long recreating of herself in the Country, repaired again to the court, and so did I also, where I lived (as the Elephant doth by Air) with the sight of my Lady, who ever using me in all her secrets, as one that she most trusted. But my joys were too great to last, for even in the middle of my bliss, there came tidings to Iffida, that Thirsus was slain by the Turks, being then in pay with the King of Spain, which battle was so bloody, that many Gentlemen lost their lives.  
Iffida so distraught of her wits, with these news, fell into a frenzy, having nothing in her mouth but always this Thirsus slain, Thirsus slain, ever doubling this speech, with such pitiful cries and scritches, as it would have moved the soldiers of Ulysses to sorrow. At the last by good keeping, and such means as by Physic were provided she came again to herself, unto whom I writ many letters to take patiently the death of him, whose life could not be recalled, divers she answered, which I will show you at my better leisure.  
But this was most strange, that no suit could allure her again to love, but ever she lived all in blacks, not once coming where she was most sought for. But within the term of five years, she began a little to listen to mine old suit, of whose faithful meaning she had such trial, as she could not think that either my love was builded upon lust, or deceit.  
But destiny cut of my love, by the cutting of her life, for falling into a hot pestilent fever, she died, and how I took it I mean not to tell it: but forsaking the Court presently, I have here lived ever since, and so mean until death shall call me.  
NOw Gentlemen I have held you to long, I fear me, but I have ended at the last. You see what Love is, begun with grief, continued with sorrow, ended with Death. A pain full of pleasure, a joy replenished with misery, a Heaven, a Hell▪ a God, a Devil, and what not, that either hath in it solace, or sorrow? Where she days are spent in thoughts, the nights in dreams, both in danger, either beguiling us of that we had, or promising us that we had not. Full of jealousy without cause, & void of fear when there is cause: and so many inconveniences hanging upon it, as to reckon them all were infinite, and to taste but one of them, intolerable.  
Yet in these days, it is thought the signs of a good wit, and the only virtue peculiar to a courtier, for love they say is in young Gentlemen, in clowns it is lust, in old men dotage, when it is in all men, madness.  
But you Phylautus whose blood is in his chiefest heat, are to take great care, least being over warmed, with love, it so inflame the liver, as it drive you into a consumption. And thus the old man brought them into dinner, where they having taken their repast, Phylautus aswell in the name of Euphues as his own, gave this a unswere to the old man's tale, & these or the like thanks for his cost and courtesy.  
Father I thank you no less for your talk which I found pleasant, then for your counsel, which I account profitable, & so much for your great cheer and courteous entertainment, as it deserveth of those that cannot deserve any▪ I perceive in England the women & men are in love constant, to strangers courteous, and bountiful in hospitality, the two latter we have tried to your cost, the other we have heard to your pains, & may justify them all wheresoever we become to your praises, & our pleasure. This only we crave, that necessity may excuse our boldness, and for amends we will use such means, as although we cannot make you gain much, yet you shall lose little.  
Then Fidus taking Phylautus by the hand, spoke thus to them both.  
GEntlemen and friends, I am ashamed to receive so many thanks for so small courtesy, and so far off it is for me to look for amends for my cost, as I desire nothing more than to make you amends for your company, and your good wills in accounting well of ill fare▪ only this I crave, that at your return, after you shallbe feasted of great personages, you vouchsafe to visit the Cottage of poor Fidus, where you shall be no less welcome than jupiter was to Bacchus: Then Euphues.  
We have troubled you too long, and high time it is for poor Pilgrims to take the day before them, lest being be-nighted, they strain courtesy in an other place, and as we say in Athens, ●●she and guess in three days are stolen: notwithstanding we will be bold to see you, and in the mean season we thank you, and ever as we ought, we will pray for you.  
Thus after many farewells, with as many welcomes of the one side, as thanks of the other, they departed and framed their steps towards London▪ And to drive away the time, Euphues began thus to instruct Phylautus.  
THou seest Phylautus the courtesy of England to surpass, and the constancy (if the old Gentleman told the truth) to excel, which warneth us both to be thankful for the benefits we receive, and circumspect in behaviour we use, least being unmindful of good turns, we be accounted ingrate, and being dissolute in our lives, we be thought impudent.  
When we come into London, we shall walk in the Garden of the world, where among many flowers we shall see some weeds, sweet Roses and sharp Nettles, pleasant Lilies and pricking Thorns, high vines and low Hedges. All things (as the fame goeth) that may either please the sight, or dislike the smell, either seed the eye with delight, or fill the nose with infection.  
Then good Phylautus let the care I have of thee be in steed of grave counsel, and my good will towards thee in place of wisdom.  
I had rather thou shouldest walk among the beds of wholesome Potte-hearbes, than the knots of pleasant Flowers, and better shalt thou ●nde it to gather Garlic for thy stomach, than a sweet Violet for thy senses. I fear me Phylautus, that seeing the amiable faces of the English Ladies, thou wilt cast off all care both of my counsel and thine own credit. For well I know that a fresh colour doth easily dim a quick fight, that a sweet Rose doth soon pierce a fine sent, that pleasant sirops doth chiefliest infect a delicate taste, that beautiful women do first of all allure them, that have the wantonest eyes and the whitest mouths.  
A strange tree there is, called Alpina, which bringeth forth the fairest blossoms of all trees, which the Bee either suspecting to be venomous, or misliking because it is so glorious, neither tasteth it, nor cometh near it. In the like case Phylautus would I have thee, to imitate the Bee, that when thou shalt behold the amiable blossoms of the Alpine tree in any woman, thou shun them, as a place infected either with poison to kill thee, or honey to deceive thee: for it were more convenient thou shouldest pull out thine eyes and live without love, then to have them clear and be infected with lust.  
Thou must choose a woman as the Lapidary doth a true sapphire, who when he seethe it to glister, covereth it with Dyle, and then if it shine, he alloweth it, if not, he breaketh it: So if thou fall in love with one that is beautiful, cast some kind of colour in her face, either as it were misliking her behaviour, or hearing of her lightness, & if then she look as fair as before, woo her, win her, and wear her.  
Then my good Friend, consider with thyself what thou art, an Italian, where thou art, in England, whom thou shalt love if thou fall into that vain, an Angel: let not the eye go beyond thy ear, nor thy tongue so far as the feet. And thus I censure thee, that of all things, that thou refrain from the hot fire of affection.  
For as the precious stone Autharsitis being thrown into the fire looketh black and half dead, but being cast into the water glistreth like the Sun beams: so the precious mind of man once put into the flame of love, is as it were ugly, and loseth his virtue, but sprinkled with the water of wisdom and detestation of such fond delights, it shineth like the golden rays of Phoebus.  
And it shall not be amiss, though my Physic be simple, to prescribe a strait diet before thou fall into thine ●lde disease.  
First let thy apparel be but mean, neither too brave to show thy pride, nor to base to bewray thy poverty, be as careful to keep thy mouth from wine, as thy fingers from fire.  
Wine is the glass of the mind, and the only sauce that Bacchus gave Ceres when he fell in love: be not dainty mouthed, a fine taste noteth the fond appetites, that Venus said her Adonis to have, who seeing him to take chiefest delight in costly cates, smile said this.  
I am glad that my Adonis hath a sweet tooth in his head, and who knoweth not what followeth. But I will not wade to far, seeing heretofore as well in my cooling card, as at divers other times, I have given thee a caveat, in this vanity of love, to have a care: & yet me thinketh the more I warn thee, the less I dare trust thee, for I know not how it cometh to pass, that every minute I am troubled in mind about thee.  
When Euphues had ended, Phylautus thus began.  
EVphues, I think thou wast borne with this word love, in thy mouth, or that thou art bewitched with it in mind, for there is scarce three words uttered to me, but the third is love: which how often I have answered thou knowest, and yet that I speak as I think, thou never believest: either thinking thyself, a God, to know thoughts, or me worse than a Devil, not to acknowledge them. When I shall give any occasion, warn me, & that I should give none, thou hast already armed me, so that this persuade thyself, I will stick as close to thee as the sole doth to the shoe.  
But truly I must needs commend the courtesy of England, and old Fidus for his constancy to his Lady Iffida, and her faith to her friend Thirsus, the remembrance of which discourse did often bring into my mind the hate I bore to Lucilla, who loved all and was not found faithful to any. But I let that pass, least thou come in again with thy faburthen, and hit me in the teeth with love, for thou hast so charmed me, that I dare not speak any word that may be wrested to charity, lest thou say, I mean love, and in truth, I think there is no more difference between them, then between a Broom and a Bosom.  
I will follow thy diet and thy counsel, I thank thee for thy good will, so that I will now walk under the shadow & be at thy commandment: Not so answered Euphues, but if thou follow me, I dare be thy warrant we will not offend much. Much talk there was in the way, which much shortened their way: and at last they came to London, where they met divers strangers of their friends, who in small space brought them familiarly acquainted with certain English gentlemen, who much delighted in the company of Euphues, whom they found both ●ober & wise, yet sometimes merry & pleasant. They were brought into all places of the City, & lodged at the last in a merchants house, where they continued till a certain breach.  
They used continually the court, in the which Euphues took such delight that he accounted all the praises he hard of it before, rather to be envious, then otherwise, & to be partial, not giving so much as it deserved, & yet to be pardoned because they could not. It happened that these English Gentlemen conducted these two strangers to a place, w●er divers Gentlewomen were: some courtiers, others of the country: where being welcome, they frequented almost every day for the space of one month, entertaining of time in courtly pastimes, though not in the court, insomuch that if they came not, they were sent for, and so used as they had been countrymen not strangers. Phylautus with this continual access and often conference with gentlewomen, began to wean himself from the counsel of Euphues, and to wed his eyes to the comeliness of Ladies yet so warily, as neither his friend could by narrow watching discover it, neither did he by any wanton countenance bewray it, but carrying the Image of Love, engraven in the bottom of his heart, and the picture of courtesy, imprinted in his face, he was thought to Euphues courtly, and known to himself comfortless. Among a number of Ladies he fixed his eyes upon one, whose countenance seemed to promise mercy and threaten mischief, intermeddling a desire of liking, with a disdain of love: showing herself in courtesy to be familiar with all, and with a certain comely pride to accept none, whose wit would commonly taunt without despite, but not without disport, as one that seemed to abhor love worse than lust, and lust worse than murder: of greater beauty than birth, and yet of less beauty than honesty, which gate her more honour by virtue, than nature could by Art, or Fortune might by promotion, she was ready of answer, yet wary: shrill of speech, yet sweet: in all her passions so temperate, as in her greatest mirth none would think her wanton, neither in hi● deepest grief sullom, but always to look with so sober cheerfulness, as it was hardly thought where she were more commended for her gravity of the aged, or for her courtliness of the youth: oftentimes delighted to bear discourses of Love, but ever desirous to be instructed in Learning: somewhat curious to héep● her Beauty, which made her comely, but more careful to increase her credit, which made her commendable: not adding the length of a hair to courtlynesse, that might detract the breadth of a hair from chastity: In all her talk so pleasant, in all her looks so amiable, so grave modesty joined with so witty mirth, that they that were entangled with her beauty, were enforced to prefer her wit before their wills, and they that loved her virtue, were compelled to prefer their affections before her wisdom: whose rare qualities, caused so strange events, that the wise were alured to vanities, and the wantoness to virtue, much like the river in Arabia, which turneth gold to dross, and dirt to silver. In conclusion, there wanted nothing in this English Angel that nature might add for perfection, or Fortune could give for wealth, or God doth commonly bestow on mortal creatures: And more easy it is in the description of so rare a parsonage, to imagine what she had not, then to repeat all she had. But such a one she was, as almost they all are that serve so noble a Prince, such Virgins carry lights before such a Vesta, such Nymphs, arrows with such a Diana. But why go I about to set her in black and white, whom Phylautus is now with all colours importraing in the Table of his heart. And surely I think by this he is half mad, whom long since, I left in a great maze.  
Phylautus viewing all these things, and more than I have uttered (for that the lovers eye pierceth deeper) with drew himself secretly into his lodging and locking his door, began to debate with himself in this manner.  
AH thrice unfortunate is he that is once faithful, and better it is to be a merciless soldier, than a true lover: the one liveth by another's death, the other dieth by his own life. What strange fits be these Phylautus that burn thee with such a heat, that thou shakest for cold, and all thy body in a shivering sweat, in a flaming Y●e, melteth like wax, & hardeneth like the Adamant? Is it love? then would it were death: for likelier it is that I should lose my life, then win my love. Ah Camilla, but why do I name thee, when thou dost not hear me, Camilla, name thee I will, though thou hate me. But alas the sound of thy name doth make me sound for grief. What is in me that thou shouldest not despise, & what is there not in thee that I should not wonder at. Thou a woman the last thing God made, & therefore the best. I a man that could not live without thee, and therefore the worst. All things were made for man, as a sovereign, and man made for woman as a slave. O Camilla, would either thou hadst been bred in Italy, or I in England, or would thy virtues were less than thy beauty, or my virtues greater than my affections.  
I see that India bringeth gold, but England breedeth goodness: And had not England been thrust into a corner of the world, it would have filled the whole world with woe. Where such women are as we have talked of in Italy, heard of in Rome, read of in Greece, but never found but in this Island: And for my part (I speak softly, because I will not hear myself) would there were none such here, or such every where. Ah fond Euphues my dear friend, but a simple fool if thou believe now thy cooling Card, and an obstinate fool if thou do not recant it. But it may be thou layest that Card for the elevation of Naples, like an Astronomer. If it were so I forgive thee, for I must believe thee, if for the whole world. Behold England, where Camilla was borne, the flower of courtesy, the picture of comeliness: one that shameth Venus, being somewhat fairer, but much more virtuous, and staineth Diana being as chaste, but much more amiable. I but Phylautus, the more beauty she hath the more pride, and the more virtue the more preciseness. The Peacock is a bird for none but juno, the Dove, for none but Vesta: None must wear Venus in a Tablet, but Alexander, none Pallas in a ring but Ulysses. For as there is but one Phoenix in the world, so is there but one tree in Arabia, wherein she buildeth, & as there is but one Camilla to be hard off, so is there but one Caesar that she will like off. Why then Phylautus, what resteth for thee but to die with patience, seeing thou mayst not live with pleasure. When thy disease is so dangerous, that the third letting of blood is not able to recover thee, when neither Ariadne's third, nor Sibylla's vough, nor Medea's seed, may remedy thy grief. die, die, Phylautus rather with a secret scar, than an open scorn. Patroclus cannot mask in Achilles' armour without a maim, nor Phylautus in the English Court without a mock. I but there is no Pearl so hard but Vinegar breaketh it, no Diamond so stony, but blood mollifieth, no heart so stiff but love weakeneth it. And what then? Because she may love one, is it necessary she should love thee? Be there not infinite in England, who as far exceed thee in wealth, as she doth all the Italians in wisdom, and are as far above thee in all qualities of the body, as she is above them in all gifts of the mind? Dost thou not see every minute the noble youth of England frequent the Court, with no less courage than thou cowardice. If courtly bravery may allure her, who more gallant than they? If parsonage, who more valiant? If wit, who more sharp, if birth, who more noble, if Virtue, who more devout?  
When there are all things in them that should delight a Lady, and no one thing in thee that is in them, with what face Phylautus canst thou desire, which they cannot deserve, or with what service deserve that, which so many desire before thee?  
The more beauty Camalla hath, the less hope shouldest thou have: and think not but the bait that caught thee, hath beguiled other Englishemen or now. Infants they can love, neither so hard hearted to despise it, nor so simple not to discern it.  
It is likely than Phylautus that the Fox will let the Grapes hang for the Goose, or the Englishman bequeath beauty to the Italian? No no Phylautus, assure thyself, there is no Venus but she hath her Temple, where on the one side Vulcan may knock but Mars shall eater: no Saint but hath her shrine, and he that cannot win with a Pater Noster, must offer a penny.  
And as rare it is to see the Sun without a light, as a fair woman without a lover, and as near is Fancy to beauty, as the prick to the Rose, as the stalk to the rind, as the earth to the root.  
Dost thou not think that hourly she is served and sued unto, of thy betters in birth, thy equales in wealth, thy inferiors in no respect.  
If then she have given her faith, darest thou call her honour into suspicion of falsehood?  
If she refuse such vain delights, wilt thou bring her wisdom into the compass of folly?  
If she love so beautiful a piece, then will she not be unconstant: If she vow virginity, so chaste a Lady cannot be perjured: and of two things the one of these must be true, that either her mind is already so weaned from love, that she is not to be moved, or so settled in love, that she is not to be removed.  
I but it may be, that so young and tender a heart hath not yet felt the impression of love: I but it cannot be, that so rare perfection should want that which they all wish, affection.  
A Rose is sweeter in the bud then full blown. Young twigs are sooner bend then old trees. White Snow sooner melted then hard Ice: which proveth that the younger she is, the sooner she is to be wooed, and the fairer she is, the likelier to be won.  
Who will not run with Atlanta, though he be lame? Who would not wrestle with Cleopatra, though he were sick? Who feareth to love Camilla, though he were blind?  
Ah beauty, such is thy force, that Vulcan courteth Venus, she for comeliness a Goddess, he for uglynesse a devil, more fit to strike with a hammer in his forge, then to hold a Lute in thy chamber.  
Whether dost thou wade Phylautus, in lancing the wound thou shouldest taint, and prtcking the heart, which asketh a Plaster: for in deciphering what she is, thou hast forgotten what thou thyself art, and being dazzled with her beauty, thou seest not thine own baseness.  
Thou art an Italian poor Phylautus, as much misliked for the vice of thy Country, as she marveled at, for the virtue of hers, and with no less shame dost thou hear, than know with grief, how if any Englishman be infected with any misdemeanour, they say with one mouth, he is Italionated: so odious is that Nation to this, that the very man is no less hated for the name, then the country for the manners.  
O Italy I must love thee, because I was borne in thee, but if the infection of the air be such, as whosover breed in thee, is poisoned by thee, than had I rather be a Bastard to the Turk Ottomo, than heir to the Emperor Nero.  
Thou which heretofore wast most famous for victories, art become most infamous by thy vices, as much disoained now for thy beastliness in peace, as once feared for thy battles in war, thy Caesar being turned to a vicar, thy Consuls, to Cardinals, thy sacred Senate of three hundred grave counsellors, to a shameless Synod of three thousand greedy Caterpillars. Where there is no vice punished, no virtue praised, where none is long loved if he do not ill, where none shall be loved, if he do well. But I leave to name thy sins, which no Ciphers can number, and I would I were as free from the infection of some of them, as I am far from the reckoning of all of them, or would I were as much envied for good as thou art pitied for ill.  
Phylautus would thou hadst never lived in Naples or never left it. What new skirmishes dost thou now feel between reason and appetite, love and wisdom, danger and desire.  
Shall I go and attire myself in costly apparel, tush a fair pearl in a Murrians ear cannot make him white? Shall I ruffle in new devices, with chains, with Bracelets, with Rings and Robes, tush the precious Stones of mausolus' Sepulchre cannot make the dead carcase sweet.  
Shall I curl my hair, colour my face, counterfeit courtlynesse? tush there is no painting can make a picture sensible. No no Phylautus, either swallow the juice of Mandrake, which may cast thee into a dead sleep, or chew the herb chervil, which may cause thee to mistake every thing, so shalt thou either die in thy slumber, or think Camilla deformed by thy potion. No, I cannot do so though I would. But suppose thou think thyself in parsonage comely, in birth noble, in wit excellent, in talk eloquent, of great revenues: yet will this only be cast in thy teeth as an obloquy, thou art an Italian.  
I, but all that be black dig not for coals, all things that breed in the mud, are not efts, all that are born in Italy, be not ill. She will not inquire what most are, but inquire what I am. Every one that sucketh a wolf is not ravening, there is no country but hath some as bad as Italy, many that have worse, none but hath some.  
And canst thou think that an English Gentleman will suffer an Italian to be his Rival? No, no, thou must either put up a quarrel with shame, or try the combat with peril.  
An Englishman hath three qualities, he can suffer no partner in his love, no stranger to be his equal, nor to be dared by any. Then Phylautus be as wary of thy life, as careful for thy love: thou must at Rome reverence, Romulus, in Boetia, Hercules, in England those that dwell there, cls shalt thou not live there.  
Ah Love, what wrong dost thou me, which once beguildest me which that I had, and now beheadest me for that that I have not. The love I bore to Lucilla was cold water, the love I own Camilla, hot fire, the first was ended with defame, the last must begin with death.  
I see now, that as the resiluation of an Ague is desperate, and the second opening of a vain deadly, so the renewing of love, is, I know not what to term it, worse than death, & as bad as what is worst. I perceive at the last, the punishment of love, is to live. Thou art here a stranger without acquaintance, no friend to speak for thee, no one to care for thee, Euphues will laugh at thee, if he know it, and thou wilt weep if he know it not. O infortunate Phylautus, borne in the wane of the Moon, & as like to obtain thy wish, as the Wolf to eat the Moon. But why go I about to quench fire with a sword, or with affection to mortify my love?  
O my Euphues, would I had thy wit, or thou my wil Shall I utter this to thee, but thou art more likely to correct my follies with counsel, then to comfort me with any pretty conceit. Thou wilt say, that she is a lady of great credit, and I here of no countenance. I but Euphues, low trees have their tops, small sparks their heat, the fly his spleen, the Ant her Gall, Phylautus his affection, which is neither ruled by reason, nor lead by appointment. Thou broughtest me into England Euphues, to see, and am blind, to seek adventures and I have lost myself, to remedy love, and I am now past cure, much like Seriphuis, that old Drudge in Naples, who coveting to heal his bleared eye, put it out. My thoughts are high, my fortune low, and I resemble that foolish Pilot, who hoisteth up all his sails & hath no wind, & launceth out his ship & hath no water. Ah love thou takest away my taste, & provokest mine appetite, yet if Euphues would be as willing to further me now, as he was once wily to hinder me, I should think myself fortunate, and all that are not amorous to be fools. There is a Stone in the flood of Thracia, that whosoever findeth it, is never after grieved, I would I had that stone in my mouth, or that my body were in that river, that either I might be without grief, or without life.  
And with these words, Euphues knocked at the door, which Phylautus opened, pretending drowsiness, and excusing his absence by Idleness, unto whom Euphues said.  
WHat Phylautus dost thou shun the Court to sleep in a corner, as one either cloyed with delight, or having surfeited with desire, believe me Phylautus, if the wind be in that door: or thou so devout to fall from beauty to thy beads, and to forsake the Court to live in a cloy●ber. I cannot tell whether I should more wonder at thy fortune or praise thy wisdom, but I fear me if I live to see thee so holy, I shall be an old man before I die, or if thou die not before thou be so pure, thou shalt be more marveled at for thy years, then esteemed for thy virtues. In soothe my good friend, if I should tarry a year in England, I could not abide an hour in my chamber, for I know not how it cometh to pass, that in earth I think no other Paradise, such variety of delights to allure a courtly eye, such rare purity to draw a well disposed mind, that I know not whether they be in England more amorous or virtuous, whether I should think my time best bestowed in viewing goodly Ladies, or hearing godly Lessons.  
I had thought no woman to excel Livia in the world, but now I see that in England they be all as good, none worse, many better, insomuch that I am enforced to think, that it is as rare to see a beautiful woman in England without virtue, as to see a fair woman in Italy without pride. Courteous they are without coins, but not without a care, amiable without pride, but not without courtlines: merry without curiosity, but not without measure, so that conferring the Ladies of Greece, with the ladies of Italy, I find the best but indifferent, & comparing both countries with the Ladies of England, I account them all stark nought.  
And truly Phylautus thou shalt not shrine me like a Ghostly father, for to thee I will confess in two things my extreme folly, the one in loving Lucilla, who in comparison of these had no spark of beauty, the other for making a cooling card against women, when I see these to have so much virtue, so that in the first I must acknowledge my judgement raw, to discern shadows, and rash in the latter to give so peremtorye sentence, in both I think myself, to have erred so much, that I recant both, being ready to take any penance thou shalt enjoin me, whether it be a Faggot for Heresy, or a fine for Hypocrisy. An heretic I was by mine invective against women, and no less than an Hypocrite for dissembling with thee, for now Phylautus I am of that mind that women, but Philautus ●aking hold of this discourse, interrupted him with a sudden reply, as followeth.  
STAY Euphues, I can level at the thoughts of thy heart by the words of thy mouth, for that commonly the tongue uttereth the mind, and the outward speech bewrayeth the inward spirit. For as a good root is known by a fair blossom, so is the substance of the heart noted by the show of the countenance. I can see day at a little hole, thou must halt cunningly if thou beguile a Cripple, but I cannot choose but laugh to see thee play with the bait, that I fear thou hast swallowed, thinking with a Mist, to make my sight blind, because I should not perceive thy eyes bleared, but in faith Euphues, I am now as well acquainted with thy conditions as with thy person, and use hath made me so expert in thy dealings, that well thou mayst juggle with the world, but thou shalt never deceive me.  
A burnt child dreadeth the fire, he that stumbleth twice at one stone is worthy to break his shins, thou mayst happily sorsweare thyself, but thou shalt never delude me, I know thee now as readelye by thy vizard, as thy visage: It is a blind Goose that knoweth not a Fox from a Fearne-bushe, and a foolish fellow that cannot discern craft from conscience, being once cozened. But why should I lament thy follies with grief, when thou seemest to colour them with deceit. Ah Euphues I love thee well but thou hatest thyself, and seekest to heap more harms on thy head by a little wit, than thou shalt ever claw off by thy great wisdom, all fire is not quenched by water, thou hast not love in a string, affection is not thy slave, thou canst not leave when thou listest. With what face Euphues canst thou return to thy vomit, seeming with the greedy hound to lap up that which thou didst cast up, I am ashamed to rehearse the terms that once thou diddest utter of malice against women, and art thou not ashamed now again to recant them? they must needs think thee either envious upon small occasion, or amorous upon a light cause, and then will they all be as ready to hate thee for thy spite, as to laugh at thee for thy looseness.  
No Euphues so deep a wound cannot be healed with so light a plaster, thou mayst by art recover the skin, but thou canst never cover the scar, thou mayst flatter with fools because thou art wise, but the wise will ever mark thee for a fool. Then sure I cannot see what thou gainest if the simple condemn thee of flattery, and the grave of folly. Is thy cooling Card of this property, to quench fire in others, and to kindle flames in thee? or is it a whetstone to make thee sharp and us blunt, or a sword to cut wounds in me and cure them in Euphues? Why didst thou write that against them thou never thoughtest, or if thou didst it, why dost thou not follow it? But it is lawful for the Physician to surfeit, for the shepherd to wander, for Euphues to prescribe what he will, and do what he list.  
The sick patient must keep a strait diet, the silly sheep a narrow fold, poor Phylautus must believe Euphues and all lovers (he only excepted) are cooled with a card of ten, or rather fooled with a vain toy. Is this thy professed purity to cry peccavie? thinking it as great sin to be honest, as shame not to be amorous, thou that didst blaspheme the noble sex of women without cause, dost thou now commit Idolatry with them without care? observing as little gravity then in thine unbridled fury, as thou dost now reason by thy disordinate fancy. I see now that there is nothing more smooth than glass, yet nothing more brittle, nothing more fair than snow, yet nothing less firm, nothing more fine than wit, yet nothing more fickle. For as Polypus upon what rock soever he lyteth, turneth himself into the same likeness, or as the bird Piralis sitting upon white cloth is white, upon green, green, & changeth her colour with every cloth, or as our changeable silk turned to the Sun hath many colours, and turned back, the contrary, so wit shippeth itself to every conceit●, being constant in nothing but inconstancy.  
Where is now the conference with Atheos, thy devotion, thy Divinity? Thou sayest that I am fallen from beauty to my beads, and I see thou art come from thy book to beastliness, from coting of the scriptures, to courting with Ladies from Paul to Ovid, from the Prophets to Poets, resembling the wanton Diophantus, who refused his mother's blessing to hear a song, and thou forsakest God's blessing to sit in a warm Sun.  
But thou Euphues thinkest to have thy prerogative (which others will not grant thee for a privilege) that under the colour of wit, thou mayst be accounted wise, and being obstinate, thou art to be thought singular.  
There is no coin good silver, but thy halfpenny, if thy Glass glister it must needs be Gold, if thou speak a sentence it must be a law, if give a censar, an oracle, if dream, a Prophecy, if conjecture, a truth: insomuch, that I am brought into a doubt, whether I should more lament in thee the want of government, or laugh at thy feigned gravity.  
But as that rude Poette Chaerilus had nothing to be noted in his verses, but only the name of Alexander, nor that rural Poet Daretus any thing to cover his deformed ape, but a white curtain, so Euphues hath no one thing to shadow his shameless wickedness, but only a show of wit. I speak all this Euphues, not that I envy thy estate, but that I pity it, and in this I have discharged the duty of a friend, in that I have not winked at thy folly. Thou art in love Euphues, contrary to thine oath, thine honour, thine honesty, neither would any professing that thou dost live as thou dost, which is no less grief to me then shame to thee: excuse thou mayst make to me, because I am credulous, but amends to the world thou canst not frame, because thou art come out of Greece, to blaze thy vice in England, a place too honest for thee, and thou too dishonest for any place. And this my flat and friendly dealing if thou wilt not take as I mean, take as thou wilt: I fear not thy force, I force not thy friendship: And so I end.  
Euphues not a little amazed with the discourteous speech of Phylautus, whom he saw in such a burning Fever, did not apply warm clothes to continue his sweat, but gave him cold drink to make him shake, either thinking so strange a malady was to be cured with a desperate medicine, or determining to use as little art in Physic, as the other did honesty in friendship, and therefore in steed of a Pill to purge his hot blood, he gave him a choke-pear to stop his breath, replying as followeth.  
I Had thought Phylautus, that a wound healing so fair could never breed to a Fistula, or a body kept so well from drink, to a Dropsy: but I well perceive, that thy flesh is as rank as the Wolves, who as soon as he is stricken recovereth a skin, but rankeleth inwardly until it come to the liver, and thy stomach as queasy, as old Nestor's, unto whom pap was no better than poison: and thy body no less distempered than Hermogineus, whom abstinence from wine, made oftentimes drunken. I see thy humour is love, thy quarrel jealousy: the one I gather by thine addle head, the other by thy suspicious nature: but I leave them both to thy will, and thee to thine own wickedness: Prettily to cloak thine own folly, thou callest me these first, not unlike unto a cursed wife, who deserving a check, beginneth first to scold.  
There is nothing that can cure the King's evils, but a Prince, nothing ease a pluriste but letting blood, nothing purge thy humour but that which I cannot give thee, nor thou get of any other, liberty.  
Thou seemest to colour craft by a friendly kindness, taking great care for my bondage, that I might not distrust thy follies, which is, as though the Thrush in the cage, should be sorry for the Nightingale, which singeth on the tree, or the Bear at the stake, lament the mishap of the Lion in the forest.  
But in truth Phylautus, though thy skin show thee a Fore, thy little skill trieth thee a Sheep. It is not the colour that commendeth a good Painter, but the good countenance, nor the cutting that valueth the Diamond, but the virtue, nor the gloze of the tongue that trieth a friend, but the saith. For as all coins are not good that have the Image of Caesar, nor all gold that are coined with the King's stamp, so all is not truth that beareth the show of godliness, nor all friends that bear a fair face: if thou pretend such love to Euphues, carry thy heart on the back of thy hand, and thy tongue in the palm, that I may see what is in thy mind, and thou with thy fingers clasp thy mouth Of a stranger, I can bear much because I know not his manners, of an enemy more, for that all proceedeth of malice, all things of a friend, if it be to try me, nothing if it be to betray me: I am of Scipio's mind, who had rather that Hannibal should eat his heart with salt, than Laelius grieve it with unkindness: and of the like with Laelius, who chose rather to be slain with the Spaniards, then suspected of Scipio.  
I can better take a blister of a Nettle, than a prick of a Rose: more willing that a Raven should peck out mine eyes, than a Turtle peck at them. To die of the meat one liketh not, is better than to surfeit of that he loveth: & I had rather an enemy should bury me quick, than a friend belie me, when I am dead.  
But thy friendship Phylautus, is like a new fashion, which being used in the morning is accounted old before noon, which variety of changing, being oftentimes noted of a grave Gentleman of Naples, who having bought a Hat of the newest fashion, and best block in all Italy, and wearing it but one day, it was told him that it was stolen, he hung it up in his study, and biewing all sorts, all shapes, perceived at the last his old Hat again to come into the new fashion, wherewith smiling to himself he said, I have now lived compass, for Adam's old Apron, must make Eve a new Kirtle: noting this, that when no new thing could be devised, nothing could be more new than the old.  
I speak this to this end Phylautus, that I see thee as often change thy head, as others do their hats, now being friend to Ajax, because he should cover thee with his buckler, now to Ulysses, that he may plead for thee with his eloquence, now to one, and now to an other, and thou dealest with thy friends, as that Gentleman did with his felt, for seeing not my vain answerable to thy vanities, thou goest about (but yet the nearest way) to hang me up for holy days, as one either fitting thy head, nor pleasing thy humour, but when Phylautus thou shalt see, that change of friendships shall make thee a fat Calf, & a lean coffer, that there is no more hold in a new friend, than a new fashion, that hats altar as fast as the Turner can turn his block, and hearts as soon as one can turn his back, when seeing every one return to his old wearing, & find it the best, then compelled rather for want of others than good will of me, thou wilt retire to Euphues whom thou laidest by the walls, & seek him as a new friend, saying to thyself, I have lived compass, Euphues old faith, must make Phylautus a new friend. Wherein thou resemblest those that at the first coming of new Wine, leave the old, yet finding that Grape more pleasant than wholesome, they begin to say as Call●stines did to Alexander, that he had rather carrous old grains with Diogi●es in his dish, then new Grapes with Alexander in his standing cup, for of all Gods said he, I love not Aesculapius.  
But thou art willing to change, else wouldst thou be unwilling to quarrel, thou keepest only company out of my sight, with Reynaldo thy countryman, which I suspecting cencealed, and now proving it do not care, if he have better deserved the name of a friend, than I, god knoweth, but as Achilles shteld, being lost on the Seas by Ulysses, was tossed by the Sea to the Tomb of Ajax, as a manifest token of his right: so thou being forsaken of Reynaldo, wilt be found in Athens by Euphues door, as the true owner. Which I speak not as one loath to lose thee, but careful thou lose not thyself. Thou thinkest an Apple may please a child, and every odd answer appease a friend: No Phylautus, a Plaster is small amends for a broken head, & a bad excuse, will not purge an ill accuser.  
A Friend is long a getting, and soon lost, like a merchants riches, who by tempest looseth as much in two hours, as he hath gathered together in twenty years. Nothing so fast knit as glass, yet once broken, it can never be joined, nothing fuller of metal than steel, yet over heated it will never be hardened, friendship is the best pearl, but by disdain thrown into vinegar, it bursteth rather in pieces, than it will boowe to any softness. It is a salt Fish that water cannot make fresh, sweet honey that is not made bitter with gall, hard gold that is not to be mollyffed with fire, and a miraculous friend that is not made an enemy with contempt. But give me leave to examine the cause of thy discourse to the quick and omitting the circumstance, I will to the substance.  
The only thing thou layest to my charge is love, and that is a good ornament, the reasons to prove it, is my praising of women, but that is no good argument. Am I in love Phylautus? with whom it should be, thou canst not conjecture, and that it should not be with thee, thou givest occasion.  
Priamus began to be jealous, of Hecuba, when he knew none did love her, but when he loved many, and thou of me, when thou art assured I love none but thou thyself every one, but whether I love or no, I cannot live in quiet, unless I be fit for thy diet, wherein thou dost imitate Scyron and Procustes, who framing a bed of brass to their own bigness, caused it to be placed, as a lodging for all passengers, insomuch that none could travel the way, but he was enforced to take measure of their sheets: if he were too long for the bed, they cut off his legs, for catching cold, it was no place for a longiss: if to short they racked him at length, it was no pallet for a dwarf: and certes Phylautus, they are no less to be discommended for their cruelty, than thou for thy folly. For in like manner hast thou built a bed in thine own brains, wherein every one must be of thy length, if he love, thou cuttest him shorter, either with some odd devise, or grave counsel, swearing (rather than thou wouldst not be believed) that Protagines protraid Venus with a sponge sprinkled with sweet water, but if once she wrong it, it would drop blood: that her ivory Combe would at the first tickle the hairs, but at the last turn all the hairs into Aoders: so that nothing is more hateful than love. If he love not, than stretchest out like a Wyre-drawer, making a wire as long as thy finger, longer than thine arm, pulling on with the pincers with the Shoemaker a little shoe on a great foot, till thou crack thy credit, as he doth his stitches, alleging that love followeth a good wit, as ●he shadow doth the body, and as requisite for a Gentleman, as steel in a weapon. A wit sayest thou without love, is like an Egg without salt, and a Courtier void of affection, like salt without savour. Then as one pleasing thyself in thine own humour, or playing with others for thine own pleasure, thou rollest all thy wits to sift Love from lust, as the Baker doth the bran from the flower, bringing in Venus with a tortoise under her foot, as slow to harms: her Chariot orawen with white Swans, as the cognisance of Vesta, her Birds to be Pigeons noting piety: with as many inventions to make Venus' currant, as the Ladies use slights in Italy to make themselves counterfeit.  
Thus with the Egyptian thou playest fast or lose, so that there is nothing more certain, then that thou wilt love, and nothing more uncertain than when, turning at one time thy tail to the wind, with the Hedgehog, & thy nose in the wind, with the Weathercock, in one gale both hoisting sail and weighing Anchor, with one breath, making an Alarm and a Parley, discharging in the same instant, both a Bullet & a false fire. Thou hast racked me, & curtailed me, sometimes I was too long, sometimes too short, now too big, then too little, so that I must needs think thy bed monstrous, or my body, either thy brains out of temper, or my wits out of tune: insomuch as I can liken thy head to Mercuris pipe: who with one stop caused Argus to stare and wink. If this fault be in thy nature, counsel can do little good, if in thy disease, physic can do less: for nature will have her course, so that persuasions are peerless, and such a malady in the Marrow, will never out of the bones, so that medicines are bootless.  
Thou sayest that all this is for love, and that I being thy friend, thou art loath to wink at my folly: truly I say with Tully, with fair words thou shalt yet persuade me: for experience teacheth me, that strait trees have crooked roots, smooth baits sharp hooks, that the fairer the stone is in the Toads head, the more pestilent the poison is in her bowels: that talk the more it is seasoned with five phrases, the less it savoureth of true meaning. It is a mad Hare that will be caught with a Taber, and a foolish bird that stayeth the laying salt on her tail, and a blind Goose that cometh to the Fox's sermon, Euphues is not entangled with Phylautus charms. If all were in jest, it was to broad weighing the place, if in earnest to bad, considering the person, if to try thy wit, it was solly to be so hot, if thy friendship, malice to be so hasty: Hast thou not read since thy coming into England a pretty discourse of one Phialo, concerning the rebuking of a friend? Whose reasons although they were but few, yet were they sufficient, and if thou desire more, I could rehearse infinite. But thou art like the Epicure whose belly is sooner filled then his eye: For he coveteth to have twenty dishes at his table, when he cannot digest one in his stomach, and thou desirest many reasons to be brought, when one might serve thy turn: thinking it no Rainbow that hath all colours, nor ancient armoury, that are not quartered with sundry coats, nor perfect rules that have not a thousand reasons, and of all the reasons would thou wouldst follow but one, not to check thy friend in a bravery, knowing that rebukes ought not to weigh a grain more of salt than sugar: but to be so tempered as like pepper they might be hot in the mouth, but like treacle wholesome at the heart: so shall they at the first make one blush if he were pale, and well considered better, if he were not past grace.  
If a friend offend he is to be whipped with a good Nurse's rod, who when her child will not be still, giveth it together both the twig and the teat, and bringeth it a sleep when it is wayward, aswell with rocking it as rating it.  
The admonition of a true friend should be like the practice of a wise Physician, who wrappeth his sharp pills in fine Sugar, or the cunning Chirurgeon, who lancing the wound with an iron, immediately applieth to it soft lint, or as mother's deal with their children for worms, who put their bitter seeds into sweet reasons, if this order had been observed in thy discourse, that enterlasing sour taunts with sugared counsel, bearing as well a gentle rain, as using a hard snaffle, thou mightest have done more with the whisk of a wand, than now thou canst with the prick of a spur, and avoided that which now thou mayst not, extreme unkindness. But thou art like that kind judge, which Propertius noteth, who condemning his friend, caused him for the more ease to be hanged with a silken twist. And thou like a friend cuttest my throat with a Razor, not with a hatchet, for my more honour. But why should I set down the office of a friend, when thou like our Athenians, knowest what thou shouldest do, but like them, never dost it.  
Thou sayest I eat mine own words in praising women, no Phylautus, I was never either so wicked, or so witless to recant truths, or mistake colours. But this I say, that the Ladies in England as far excel all other countries in virtue, as Venus doth all other women in beauty. I flatter not those of whom I hope to reap benefit, neither yet so praise them, but that I think them women: there is no sword made of steel but hath iron, no sire made of of wood but hath smoke, no wine made of grapes but hath lose, no woman created of flesh but hath faults: And if I love them Phylautus, they deserve it.  
But it grieveth not thee Phylautus that they be fair, but that they are chaste, neither dost thou like me the worse for commending their beauty, but thinkest they will not love thee well, because so virtuous, wherein thou followest those, who better esteem the sight of the Rose, than the savour, preferring fair weeds before good herbs, choosing rather to wear a painted flower in their Bosoms, then to have a wholesome root in their broths, which resembleth the fashion of your maidens in Italy, who buy that for the best cloth that will wear whitest, not that will last longest. There is no more praise to be given to a fair face their to a false glass, for as the one flattereth us with a vain shadow, to make us proud in our own coceiptes, the other feedeth us with an idle hope to make us peevish in our own contemplations. chirurgeons affirm, that a white vain being stricken, if at the first there springe out blood, it argueth a good constitution of Body: and I think if a fair Woman having heard the suit of a Lover, if she blush at the first brunt, and show her blood in her face, showeth a well disposed mind: so as virtuous women I confess are for to be chosen by the face, not when they blush for the shame of some fin committed, but for fear she should commit any, all women shall be as Caesar would have his wife, not only free from sin, but from suspicion: If such be in the English court, if I should not praise them, then wouldst thou say I care not for their virtue, and now I give them their commendation, thou swearest I love them for their beauty: So that it is no less labour to please thy mind, than a sick man's mouth, who can realish nothing by the taste, not that the fault is in the meat, but in his ma●a●y, nor thou licks of any thing in thy head, not that there is any disorder in my sayings, but in thy senses, Thou dost last of all object that which silence might well resolve, that I am fallen from Prophets to Poets, and returned again with the Dog to my vomit, which god knoweth is as fair from truth as I know thou art from wisdom▪  
What have I done Phylautus, since my going from Naples to Athens, speak no more than the truth, utter no less, flatter me not to make me better than I am, belie me not to make me worse, forge nothing of malice, conceal nothing for love: did I ever use any unseemly talk to corrupt youth? tell me where: did I ever deceive those that put me in trust? tell me whom: have I committed any fact worthy either of death or defame? thou canst not reckon what: have I abused myself towards my superiors, equals, or inferiors I think thou canst not deiuse when: But as there is no Wool so white but the Diar can make black, no Apple so sweet but a cunning grafter can change into a Crab: so is there no man so boyd of crime that a spiteful tongue cannot make him to be thought a caitiff, yet commonly it falleth out so well that the cloth weareth the better being died, & she Apple eateth pleas●●ter being grafted, and the innocent is mo●e esteemed, and thriveth sooner being envied for virtue, and belied for malice. For as he that stroke jason, on the stomach, thinking to kill him, broke his impostume with the blow, whereby he cured him: so oftentimes it fareth with whose that deal maliciously, who in steed of a sword apply a salve, and thinking to be one's Priest, they become his Physician. But as the traitor that clippeth the coin of his Prince, maketh of lighten to be weighed, not worse to be touched: so he that by sinister reports seemeth to pair the credit of his friend; may make him lighter among the common sort, who by weight oftentimes are deceived with counterfeits, but nothing empayreth his good name with the wife, who try all gold by the touch stone.  
A stranger coming into the Capitol of Rome, seeing all the Gods to be engra●en, some in one stone, some in an other, at the last he perceived Vulcan to be wrought in ivory, Venus to be carved in jet, which long time beholding with great delight, at the last he burst out in these words, neither can this white ivory Vulcan, make thee a white Smith, neither this fair woman jet, make thee a fair stone. Whereby he noted that no running could alter the nature of the one, nor no Nature transform the colour of the other. In like manner say I Phylautus, although thou have shadowed my guiltless life with a defamed counterfeit, yet shall not thy black Vulcan make either thy accusations of force, or my innorencie faulty, neither shall the white Venus which thou hast portrayed upon the black jet of thy malice, make thy conditions amiable, for Vulcan cannot make ivory black, nor Venus change the colour of jet, the one having received such course by Nature, the other such force by virtue.  
What cause have I given thee to suspect me, & what occasion hast thou not offered me to detest thee? I was never wise enough to give thee counsel, yet ever willing to wish thee well, my wealth small to do thee good, yet ready to do my best: Insomuch as thou couldst never accuse me of any discourtesy, unless it wet in being more careful of thee, then of myself.  
But as all flowers that are in one nosegay, are not of one nature, nor all Kings that are worn upon one hand, are not of one fashion: so all friends that associate at bed and at board, are not of one disposition. Scipio must have a noble mind, Loelius an humble spirit: Titus must lust after Sempronia, Gisippus must leave her: Damon must go take order for his lands, Pythias must tarry behind, as a pledge for his life: Phylautus must do what he will, Euphues not what he should.  
But it may be that as the sight of divers colours, make divers beasts mad, so my presence doth drive thee into this melancholy. And seeing it is so, I will absent myself, higher an other lodging in London, and for a time give myself to my book, for I have learned this by experience, though I be young, that Bavilrs are known by their bands, Lions by their claws▪ Cocks by their combs, envious minds by their manners.  
Hate thee I will not, and trust thee I may not: Thou knowest what a friend should be, but thou wilt never live to try what a friend is. Farewell Phylautus▪ I will not stay to hear thee reply, but leave thee to thy lust. Euphues carrieth this Posy written in his hand, and engraven in his heart. A faithful friend is a wilful fool. And so I taking leave till I hear thee better minded, England shall be my abode for a season, depart when thou wilt, and again farewell▪  
Euphues in a great rage departed, not suffering Phylautus to answer one word, who stood in a maze, after the speech of Euphues, but taking courage by Love, went immediately to the place where Camilla was dancing, and there will I leave him, in a thousand thoughts, hammering in his head, and Euphues seeking a new chamber, which by good friends he quickly got, and there fell to his Pater noster, where a while I will not trouble him in his prayers.  
NOW you shall understand that Phylautus furthered as well by the opportunity of the time, as the requests of certain Gentlemen his friends, was entreated to make one in a mask, which Phylautus perceiving to be at the Gentleman's house where Camilla lay, assented as willingly to go, as he desired to speed, and all things being in a readiness, they went with speed: where being welcomed they danced, Phylautus taking Camilla by the hand, and as time served, began to board her on this manner.  
IT hath been a custom fair Lady, how commendable I will not dispute how common you know, that maskers do therefore cover their faces that they may open their affections, and under the colour of a daunt, discover their whole desires: the benefit of which privilege, I will not use except you grant it, neither can you refuse, except you break it▪ I mean only with questions to try your Wit, which shall neither touch your honour to answer, nor my honesty to ask.  
Camilla took him up short, as one not to seek how to reply, in this manner.  
GEntleman, if you be less you are to bold, if so, to broad, in claiming a custom, where there is no prescription. I know not your name because you fear to utter it, neither do I desire it, and you seem to be ashamed of your face, else would you not hide it, neither do I long to see it: but as for any custom, I was never so superstitious, that either I thought it treason to break them, or reason to keep them.  
As for the proving of my wit, I had rather you should account me a fool by silence, then wise by answering? For such questions in these assemblies, move suspicion where there is no cause, and therefore are not to be resolved lest there be cause.  
Phylautus who ever as yet but played with the bait was now stroke with the hook, and no less delighted to hear her speak, then desirous to obtain his suit, trained her by the blood in his sort.  
IF the patience of men were not greater than the perverseness of women, I should then fall from a question to a quarrel, for that I perceive you draw the counterfeit of that I would say, by the conceit of that you think others have said: but whatsoever the colour be, the picture is as it pleaseth the Painter: and whatsoever were pretended, the mind is as the heart doth intend. A cunning Archer is not known by his arrow but by his aim: neither a friendly affection by the tongue, but by the faith. Which if it be so, me thinketh common courtesy should allow that, which you seek to cut off by courtly coyness, as one either too young to understand, or obstinate to overthwart, your years shall excuse the one, and my humour pardon the other.  
And yet Lady I am not of that faint mind that though I wink with a flash of lightning, I dare not open mine eyes again, or having once suffered a repulse, I should not dare to make fresh assault, he that striketh sail in a storm, hoisteth them higher in a calm, which maketh me the bolder to utter that which you disdain to hear, but as the Dove seemeth angry, as though she had a gall, yet yieldeth at the last to delight: so Ladies pretend a great skirmish at the first, yet are boarded willingly at the last.  
I mean therefore to tell you this which is all, that I love you: And so wring her by the hand, he ended: she beginning as followeth.  
GEntleman (I follow my first term) which showeth rather my modesty then your desert, seeing you resemble those which having once wet their feet, care not how deep they wade, or those that breaking the y●e, weigh not how far they slip, thinking it lawful, if one suffer you to tread a wry, no shame to go slipshood: if I should say nothing then would you vaunt that I am won: for that they that are silent seem to consent, if any thing, then would you boast that I would be wooed, for that castles that come to parlue, & women that delight in courting, are willing to yield: So that I must either hear those things which I would not, and seem to be taught by none, or to hold you talk which I should not, and run into the suspicion of others. But certainly if you knew how much your talk displeaseth me, and how little it should profit you, you would think the time as vainly lost in beginning your talk, as I account over long, until you end it.  
If you build upon custom that Maskers have liberty to speak what they should not, you shall know that women have reason to make them hear what they would not, and though you can utter by your visard whatsoever it be without blushing, yet cannot I hear it without shame. But I never looked for a better tale of so ill a face, you say a bad colour may make a good countenance, but he that conferreth your disordered discourse, not your deformed attire, may rightly say that he never saw so crabbed a visage, nor heard so crooked a vain. An archer say you is to be known by his aim, not by his arrow: but your aim is so ill, that if you knew how far wide from the white your shaft sticketh, you would hereafter rather break your bow, then bend it. If I be too young to understand your destinies, it is a sign I cannot like▪ if too obstinate, it is a token I will not: therefore for you to be displeased, it either needeth not, or booteth not. Yet go you farther, thinking to make a great virtue of your little valour, seeing that lightning may cause you wink, but it shall not strick you blind, that a storm may make you strike sail, but never cut the mast, that a hot skirmish may cause you to retire, but never to run away: what your cunning is I know not, and likely it is your courage is great, yet have I heard, that he that hath escaped burning with lightning, hath been spoiled with thunder, and one that often hath wished drowning, hath been hanged once for all, and he that shrinketh from a bullet in the main battle, hath been stricken with a bill in the rearward. You fall from one thing to an other, using no decorum, except this, that you study, have your discourse as far void of sense as your face is of favour, to the end that your disfugured countenance might supply the disorder of your ill couched sentences, among the which you bring in a Dove without a gall, as far from the matter you speak off, as you are from the mastery you would have, who although she cannot be angry with you in that she hath no gall, yet can she laugh at you for that she hath a spleen.  
I will end where you began, hoping you will begin where I end, you let fall your question which I looked for, and picked a quarrel which I thought not of, and that is love: but let her that is disposed to answer your quarrel be curious to demand your question.  
And thus Gentlemanne I desire you all questions and other quarrels set apart, you think me as a friend, so far forth as I can grant with modesty, or you require with good manners, and as a friend I wish you, that you blow no more this fire of love, which will waste you before it warm me, and make a coal in you before it can kindle in me: If you think otherwise, I can aswell use a shift to drive you off, as you did a show to draw me on. I have answered your custom, lest you should argue me of coyness, no otherwise then I might mine honour saved, and your name unknown.  
By this time entered another mask, but almost after the same manner, and only for Camillas love which Phylautus quickly espied, and seeing his Camilla to be courted with so gallant a youth, departed, yet within a corner, to the end he might decipher the Gentleman whom he found to be one of the bravest youths in all England, called Surius, then wounded with grief, he sounded with weakness, and going to his chamber began a fresh to recount his miseries in this sort.  
Ah miserable and accursed Phylautus, the very monster of Nature and spectacle of shame, if thou live thou shalt be despised, if thou die, not miss, if woo, pointed at, if win, loathed, if lose, laughed at, bred either to live in love & be forsaken, or die with love & be forgotten.  
Ah Camilla, would either I had been borne without eyes not to see thy beauty, or without ears not to hear thy wit, the one hath inflamed me with the desire of Venus, the other with the gifts of Pallas, both with the fire of love: Love, yea love Phylautus, than the which nothing can happen unto man more miserable. I perceive now that the Chariot of the Sun is for Phoebus, not for Phaeton, that Bucephalus will stoop to none but Alexander, that none can sound Mercurius pipe but Orpheus, that none shall win Camillas like but Surius, a Gentleman, I confess of greater birth than I, and yet I dare say not of better faith. It is he Phylautus that will fleet all the fat from thy beard, insomuch as she will disdain to look upon thee, if she but once think upon him. It is he Phylautus, that hath wit to try her, wealth to allure her, parsonage to entice her, and all things, that either Nature or Fortune, can give to win her.  
For as the Phrygian harmony being moved to the Calenes, maketh a great noise, but being moved to Apollo, it is still and quiet: so the love of Camilla desired of me, moveth I know not how many discords, but proved of Surius, it is calm and consenteth.  
It is not the sweet flower that ladies desire, but the fair, which maketh them wear that in their heads, wrought forth with the Needle, not brought forth by Nature: And in the like manner, they account of that love, which Art can colour, not that the heart doth confess, wherein they imitate the Maidens (as Euphues often hath told me) of Athens, who took more delight to see a fresh and fine colour, then to taste a sweet and wholesome siroppe.  
I but how knowest thou that Surius faith is not as great as thine, when thou art assured thy virtue is no less than his? He is wise, and that thou seest, valiant, & that thou fearest: rich, and that thou lackest: fit to please her and displace thee: and without spite be it said, worthy to do the one, and willing to attempt the other.  
Ah Camilla, Camilla, I know not whether I should more commend thy beauty or thy wit, neither can I tell whether thy looks have wounded me more or thy words. for they both have wrought such an alteration in my spirits, that seeing thee silent, thy comeliness maketh me in a maze, and hearing thee speaking, thy wisdom maketh me stark mad.  
I, but things above thy height, are to be looked at, not reached at. I but if I should now end, I had been better never to have begun. I, but time must wear away love, I but time may win it. Hard stones are pierced with soft drops, great Okes he wen down with many blows, the stoniest heart mollified by continual persuasions, or true perseverance.  
If deserts can nothing prevail, I will practise deceits, and what faith cannot do, conjuring shall. What sayst thou Phylautus, canst thou imagine so great mischief, against her thou lovest? Knowest thou not, that fish caught with medicines, and women gotten with witchcraft are never wholesome? No, no, the Fox's wiles, shall never enter into the lions head, nor Medea's charms into Phylautus heart. I, but I have heard that extremities are to be used, where the mean will not serve, and that as in love there is no measure of grief, so there should be no end of guile, of two mischiefs the least is to be chosen, and therefore I think it better to poison her with the sweet bait of love, than to spoil myself with the bitter sting of death.  
If she be obstinate, why should not I be desperate? if she be void of pity, why should I not be void of piety? In the ruling of Empires there is required as great policy as prowess: in governing an Estate, close cruelty doth more good, than open clemency, for the obtaining of a kingdom, as well mischief as mercy is to be practised. And then in the winning of my Love, the very Image of beauty▪ courtesy and wit, shall I leave any thing unsought, unattempted, undone? He that desireth riches, must stretch the string that will not reach, and practise all kinds of getting. He that coveteth honour, and cannot climb by the Ladder, must use all colours of lustiness. He that thirsteth for Wine, must not care how he get it, but where he may get it, nor he that is in love, be curious, what means he ought to use, but ready to attempt any: For slender affection do I think that, which either the fear of law, or care of religion, may diminish. Fie Phylautus, thine own words condemn thee of wickedness: tush the passions I sustain, are neither to be quieted with counsel, nor eased by reason: therefore I am fully resolved, either by Art to win her love, or by despair to lose mine own life.  
I have heard here in London of an Italian cunning in Mathematic, named Psellus, of whom in Italy, I have heard in such cases can do much by Magic, and will do all things for money, him will I assay as well with gold as other good turns, and I think there is nothing that can be wrought, but shall be wrought for gilt or good will, or both.  
And in this rage, as one forgetting where he was, and whom he loved, he went immediately to seek Physic for that, which only was to be found by Fortune.  
SEere Gentlemen you may see, into what open sins the heat of Love driveth man, especially, where one loving is in despair, either of his own imperfection, or of his Lady's virtues, to be beloved again, which causeth man to attempt those things, that are contrary to his own mind, to Religion, to honesty.  
What greater villainy can there be devised, than to inquire of Sorcerers, Soothsayers, Conjurers or learned clerk, for the enjoying of love. But I will not refel that here, which shall be confuted hereafter.  
Phylautus, hath soon found this Gentleman, who conducting him into his study, and demanding of him the cause of his coming, Phylautus beginneth in this manner as one past shame to unfold his suit.  
MAster Psellus (and Countryman) I neither doubt of your cunning to satisfy my request, nor of your wisdom to conceal it, for were either of them wanting in you, it might turn me to trouble, and yourself to shame.  
I have heard of your learning to be great in Magic, and somewhat in Physic, your experience in both, to be exquisite, which caused me to seek to you for a remedy of a certain grief, which by your means may be eased or else no ways cured.  
And to the end such cures may be wrought, God hath stirred up in all times, Clerks of great virtue, and in these our days men of no small credit, among the which, I have heard no one, more commended than you, which although happily your modesty will deny (for that the greatest clerk, do commonly dissemble their kowledge) or your preciseness not grant it, for that cunning men are often more dangerous, yet the world doth well know it, divers have tried it, and I must needs believe it.  
Psellus not suffering him to range, yet desirous to know his arrant, answered him thus.  
GEntleman and countryman as you say, & I believe, but of the hereafter: if you have so great confidence in my cunning as you protest, it may be, your strong imagination shall work that in you, which my Art cannot, for it is a principle among us, that a vehement thought is more available, than the virtue of our figures, forms, or characters. As for keeping your counsel, in things honest, it is no matter, and in cases unlawful I will not meddle. And yet if it threaten no man harm and may do you good, you shall find my secrecic to be great, though my science be small, and therefore say on.  
THere is not far hence a Gentlewoman whom I have long time loved, of honest parents, great virtue, and singular beauty, such a one, as neither by Art I can describe, nor by service deserve: And yet because I have heard many say, that where cunning must work, the whole body must be coloured, this is her shape.  
She is a Virgin of the age of eighteen years, of stature neither too high nor too low, and such was juno: her hair black, yet comely, and such had Leda: her eyes hazel, yet bright, and such were the lights of Venus.  
And although my skill in Phisognomie be small, yet in my judgement she was borne under Venus, her forehead, nose, lips, and chin foreshowing (as by such rules we guess) both a desire to live, and a good success in love. In complexion of pure sanguine, in condition a right Saint, seldom given to play, often to prayer, the first letter of whose name (for that also is necessary) is Camilla.  
THis Lady I have served long, and often sued unto, insomuch that I have melted like war against the fire, and yet lived in the flame with the fly Pyrausta. O Psellus, the torments sustained by her presence, the griefs endured by her absence, the pining thoughts in the day, the pinching dreams in the night, the dying life, the living death, the jealousy at all times, and the despair at this instant, can neither be uttered of me without floods of tears, nor heard of thee without grief.  
No Psellus, not the tortures of hell are either to be compared, or spoken off, in the respect of thy torments: for what they all had severally, all that and more do I feel jointly: Insomuch that with Sisyphus I roll the stone even to the top of the Hill, when it tumbleth both itself and me into the bottom of hell, yet never ceasing, I attempt to renew my labour, which was begun in death, and cannot end in life.  
What drier thirst could Tantalus endure than I, who have almost every hour the drink I dare not taste, & the meat I cannot? Insomuch that I am torn upon the wheel with Ix●on, my liver gnawn of the Vultures and Harpies: yea my soul troubled even with the unspeakable pains of Megaera, Tisiphone, Allecto, which secret sorrows although it were more meet to enclose them in a Labyrinth, then to set them on a Hill: Yet where the mind is past hope, the face is past shame.  
It fareth with me Psellus as with the Ostrich, who pricketh none but herself, which causeth her to run when she would rest: or as it doth with the Pelicane, who striketh blood out of her own body to do others good: or with the Wood Culuer, who plucketh off her feathers in winter to keep others from cold: or as with the Stork, who when she is least able, tarrieth the greatest burden. So I practise all things that may hurt me to do her good that never regardeth my pains, so far is she from rewarding them.  
For as it is impossible for the best Adamant to draw iron unto it if the Diamond be near it, so is it not to be looked for, that I with all my service, suit, deserts, and what else soever that may draw a woman, should win Camilla, as long as Surius, a precious stone in her eyes, and an eye sore in mine, be present, who loveth her I know too well, and she him I fear me, better, which love will breed between us such a deadly hatred, that being dead our blood cannot be mingled together like Florus and Aegithus, and being burnt, the flames shall part like Polynices and Eteocles, such a mortal enmity is kindled, that nothing can quench it but death: and yet death shall not end it.  
What counsel can you give me in this case? what comfort? what hope?  
When Acontius could not persuade Cydippe to love, he practised fraud. When Tarqvinius could not win Lucretia by prayer, he used force.  
When the Gods could not obtain their desires by suit, they turned themselves into new shapes, leaving nothing undone, for fear they should be undone.  
The disease of love Psellus, is impatient, the 〈◊〉 extreme, whose assaults neither the wise can 〈◊〉 by policy, nor the valiant by strength.  
julius Caesar a noble Conqueror in war, a grave counselor in peace, after he had subdued France, Germany, Britain, Spain, Italy, Thessalia, Egypt, yea, entered with no less puissance then good fortune into Armenia, into Pontus, into Africa yielded in his chiefest victories to love Psellus, as a thing fit for Caesar, who conquered all things saving himself, and a deeper wound did the small Arrow of Cupid make, than all the spears of his enemies.  
Hannibal not less valiant in arms, nor more fortunate in love, having spoiled Ticinum, Trebia, Trasmena and Cannas, submitted himself in Apulia to the love of a woman, whose hate was a terror to all men, and became so bewitched, that neither the fear of death, nor the desire of glory, could remove him from the lap of his lover.  
I omit Hercules, who was constrained to use a distaff for the desire of his love. Leander, who ventured to cross the Seas for Hero. Iphis that hanged himself, Pyramus that killed himself, and infinite more, which could not resist the hot skirmishes of affection.  
And so far hath this humour crept into the mind, that Biblis loved her brother, Myrra her Father, Canace, her nephew: Insomuch as there is no reason to be given for so strange a grief, nor no remedy so unlawful, but is to be sought for so monstrous a disease.  
My disease is strange, I myself a stranger, & my suit no less strange than my name, yet lest I be tedious in a thing that requireth haste, give ear to my tale.  
I Have heard oftentimes that in Love there are three things for to be used, if time serve, violence, if wealth be great, gold, if necessity compel, sorcery.  
But of these three but one can stand me in steed, the last, but not the least, which is able to work the minds of all women like war, when the other can scarce wind them like with. Medicines there are that can bring it to pass, & men there are that have some by potions, some by verses, some by dreams, all by deceit, the cnsamples were tedious to recite, and you know them, the means I come to learn, and you can give them, which is the only cause of my coming, and may be the occasion of my pleasure, and certainly the way both for your praise and profit.  
Whether it be an enchanted lease, a verse of Pythia, a figure of Amphion, a Character of Oschanes, an Image of Venus, or a branch of Sibylla, it skilleth not.  
Let it be either the seeds of Medea, or the blood of Phillis, let it come by Oracle of Apollo, or by Prophecy, of Tiresias, either by the entrails of a Goat, or what else soever I care not, or by all these in one, to make sure incantation and spare not.  
If I win my love, you shall not lose your labour, and whether it redound or no to my greater peril, I will not yet forget your pains.  
Let this potion be of such force, that she may dote in her desire, and I delight in her distress.  
And if in this case you either reveal my suit or deny it, you shall soon perceive that Phylautus will die as desperately in one minute, as he hath lived this three months carefully, & this your study shallbe my grave, if by your study you ease not my grief.  
When he had thus ended, he looked so sternly upon Psellus, that he wished him farther off, yet taking him by the hand, and walking into his chamber, this good man began thus to answer him.  
GEntleman, if the inward spirit be answerable to the outward speech, or the thoughts of your heart agreeable to the words of your mouth, you shall breed to yourself great discredit, and to me no small disquiet. Do you think Gentleman, that the mind being created of God, can be ruled by man, or that any one can move the heart but he that made the heart? But such hath been the superstition of old women, & such the folly of young men, that there could be nothing so vain, but the one would invent, nor any thing so senseless but the other would believe: which then brought youth into a fools paradise, and hath now cast age into an open mockage.  
What the force of love is, I have known, what the effects have been, I have heard, yet could I never learn that ever love could be won, by the virtues of herbs, stones or words. And though many there have been so wicked to seek such means, yet was there never any so unhappy to find them.  
Parrhasius painting Hopplitides, could neither make him that ran to sweat, nor the other that put off his armour to breath, adding this as it were for a note, No farther than colours: meaning that to give life, was not in his Pencil, but in the Gods.  
And the like may be said of us, that give our minds to know the course of the Stars, the Planets, the whole Globe of Heaven, the Simples, the compounds, the bowels of the Earth, that something we may gess● by the outward shape, something by the Nativity: but to wrest the will of man, or to wreathe his heart to our humours, it is not in the compass of Art, but in the power of the most highest.  
But for because there have been many without doubt, that have given credit to the vain illusions of Witches or the fond inventions of idle persons, I will set down such reasons as I have heard and you will laugh at, so I hope I shall both satisfy your mind, and make you a little merry, for me thinketh there is nothing that can more delight, then to hear the things which have no weight, to be thought to have wronghte wonders.  
If you take Pepper, the seed of a Nettle, and a little quantity of Pyretum, beaten or pounded altogether, and put into Wine of two years old, whensoever you drink to Camilla, if she love you not, you lose your labour. The cost is small, but if your belief be constant, you win the goal, for this Receipt, standeth in a strong conceit.  
Eggs and Honey blended with the Nuts of a Pine tree, and laid to your left side, is of as great force when you look upon Camilla to bewitch the mind, as the Quintessence of Stockfish, is to nourish the body.  
An herb there is, called Anacamforitis, a strange name and doubtless of a strange nature, for whosoever toucheth it, falleth in love, with the person she next seeth. It groweth not in England, but here you shall have that which is not half so good, that will do as much good, and yet truly no more.  
The Herb Carisium, moistened with the blood of a Lysard, and hanged about your neck, will cause Camilla (for her you love best) to dream of your services, suits, desires, deserts, and whatsoever you would wish her to think of you, but being wakened, she shall not remember what she dreamt off. And this Herb is to be found in a Lake near Boetia, of which water who so drinketh shall be caught in love, but never find the Herb: And if he drink not, the Herb is of no force.  
There is in the Frogs side, a bone called Apocycon, and in the head of a young Colt, a bounch named Hippomanes, both so effectual for the obtaining of love, that who so getteth either of them, shall win any that are willing, but so injuriously both craft and Nature dealt with young Gentlemen, that seek to gain good will by these means, that the one is licked off before it can be gotten, the other breaketh, as soon as it is touched. And yet unless Hippomanes be licked, it cannot work, and except Apocycon be sound it is nothing worth.  
I omit the Thistle Eryngium, the Herbs Catanenci and Pyteuma, juba his Charito blaepheron, and Orpheus Staphilinus, all of such virtue in cases of Love, that if Camilla should but taste any one of them in her mouth, she would never let it go down her throat, least she should be poisoned, for well you know Gentleman, that Love is a Poison, and therefore by Poison it must be maintained.  
But I will not forget as it were the Mithridate of the Magicians, the beast Hyena, of whom there is no part so small or so vile, but it serveth for their purpose: Insomuch that they account Hyena their God that can do all, and their Devil that will do all.  
If you take seven hairs of Hyenas lips and carry them six days in your-téeth, or a piece of her skin next your bare heart, or her belly girded to your left side, if Camilla suffer you not to obtain your purpose, certainly she cannot choose but thank you for your pains.  
And if you want medicines to win women, I have yet more, the lungs of a Vulture, the ashes of Stellio, the left stone of a Cock, the tongue of a Goose, the brain of a Cat, the last hair of a Wolves tail, things easy to be had, and commonly practised, so that I would not have thee stand in doubt of thy love, when either a young Swallow famished, or the shrouding sheet of a téere friend, or a waren Taper, that burnt at his feet, or the enchanted Needle that Medea hid in jasons sleeve, are able not only to make them desire love, but also die for love.  
How do you now feel yourself Phylautus? If the least of these charms be not sufficient for thee, all exorcisms, and conjurations in the world will not serve thee.  
You see Gentleman, into what blind and gross errors in old time we were led, thinking every old wives tale to be a truth, and every merry word a very witchcraft. When the Egyptians fell from their God to their Priests of Memphis, and the Grecians from their Moral questions, to their disputations of Pyrrhus, and the Romans from Religion, to policy: than began all superstition to breed, and all impiety to bloom, and to be so great, they have both grown, that the one being then an Infant is now an Elephant, & the other being then a Twig, is now a Tree.  
They invented as many enchantments for love, as they did for the toothache, but he that hath tried both will say, that the best charm for a tooth is to pull it out, and the best remedy for love, to wear it out. It incantations, or potions, or amorous sayings could have prevailed, Circe's would never have lost Ulysses, nor Phaedra Hippolytus, nor Phillis Demophoon. If Conjurations, Characters, Circles, Figures, Fiends, or Furies, might have wrought any thing in love, Medea, would not have suffered jason to alter his mind.  
If the syrups of Micaonias, or the Verses of Aeneas, or the Satiren of Dipsas, were of force to move the mind, they all three would not have been martyred with the torments of love.  
No, no Phylautus, thou mayst well poison Camilla with such drugs but never persuade her: For I confess, that such herbs may alter the body from strength to weakness, but to think that they can move the mind from virtue to vice, from chastity to lust, I am not so simple to believe, neither would I have thee so sinful as to do it.  
Lucilla ministering an amorous potion unto her husband Lucretius, procured his death, whose life she onelys desired.  
Aristotle noteth one, that being inflamed with the beauty of a fair Lady, thought by medicine to procure his bliss, and wrought in the end her bane: So was Caligula slain of Caesonia, and Lucius Lucuilus of C●hstine.  
Persuade thyself Phylautus, that to use herbs to win love will weaken the body, and to think that herbs can further▪ doth hurt the Soul: for as great force have they in such cases as noble men thought them to have in the old time. Achimenius the herb was of such force, that it was thought if it were thrown into the battle, it would make all the soldiers tremble: but where was it when the Humbri and Tentom were eriled by war, where grew Achiminis, one of whose leaves would have saved a thousand lives.  
The kings of Persia gave their soldiers the Plant Latace, which who so had, should have plenty of meat and money, and men and all things: but why did the soldiers of Caesar endure such famine in Pharsalia, if one herb might have eased so many hearts.  
Where is Balis that luba so commendeth, the which could call the dead to life, and yet he himself died.  
Democritus made a confection, that who soever drank it should have a fair, a fortunate, and a good child. Why did not the Persian Kings swill this Nectar, having such beformed and unhappy issue?  
Cato was of that mind, that three enchanted words could heal the eyesight: and Varro, that a verse of Sibylla could ease the gout, yet the one was feign to use running water, which was but a cold medicine, the other paciencs, which was but a dry plaster.  
I would not have thee think Phylautus that love is to be obtained by such means, but only by Faith, Virtue, and Constancy.  
Philip King of Macedon casting his eye upon a fair Virgin became enamoured, which Olympias his wife perceiving▪ thought him to be enchanted, and caused one of her servants to bring the Maiden unto her, whom she thought to thrust both to exile and shame: but viewing her fair face without blemish, her chaste eyes without glancing, her modest countenance, her sober & womanly behaviour, finding also her virtues to be no less than her beauty, she said, in myself there are charms, meaning that there was no greater enchantment in love then temperance, wisdom, beauty and chastity. Fond therefore is the opinion of those that think the mind to be tied to Magic, and the practice of those filthy, that seek those means.  
Love dwelleth in the mind, in the will, & in the hearts, which neither conjuror can alter, nor Physic. For as credible it is, that Cupid shooteth his Arrow and hitteth the heart, as that herbs have the force to bewitch the heart, only this difference there is, that the one was a fiction of Poetry, the other of superstition. The will is placed in the Soul, and who can enter there, but he that created the soul?  
No no Gentleman, whatsoever you have heard touching this, believe nothing: for they in mine opinion which imagine that the mind is either by incantation or excantation to be ruled, are as far from truth, as the East from the West, and as near impiety against god, as they are to shame among men, and so contrary is it to the profession of a Christian, as Paganism.  
Suffer not yourself to be lead with that vile conceit, practise in your love all kind of loyalty. Be not mute, nor full of babble, be sober, but avoid sollennesse, use no kind of riot, either by banqueting, which procureth surfeits, nor in attire, which hasteth beggary.  
If you think well of your wit, be always pleasant, if ill be often silent: in the one thy talk shall prove thee sharp, in the other thy modesty, wise.  
All Fish are not caught with Flies, all women are not alured with parsonage. Frame Letters, Ditties, Music, and all means that honesty may allow: For he wooeth well, that meaneth no ill, and he speedeth sooner that speaketh what he should, than he that uttereth what he will. Believe me Phylautus I am now old, yet have I in my head a love tooth, & in my mind there is nothing that more pierceth the heart of a beautiful Lady, then writing, where thou mayest so set down thy passions and her perfection, as she shall have cause to think well of thee, and better of herself: but yet so warily, as neither thou seem to praise her too much, or debase thyself too lowly: for if thou flatter them without mean, they loathe, & if thou make of thyself above reason, they laugh at it, temper thy words so well, and place every sentence so wisely, as it may be hard for her to judge, whether thy love be more faithful, or her beauty amiable.  
Lion's fawn when they are clawed. tigers stoup when they are tickled, Bucephalus lieth down when he is curried, women yield when they are courted.  
This is the poison Phylautus, the enchantment, the potions that creepeth by sleight into the mind of a woman, and catcheth her by assurance, better than the fond devices of old dreams, as an Apple with an Auie Marie, or a hasill wand of a year old crossed with sir Characters, or the picture of Venus in Virgin Ware, or the Image of Camilla, upon a Moulwarpes skin.  
It is not once mentioned in the English Court, nor so much as thought of in any one's conscience, that Love can be procured by such means, or that any can imagine such mischief, and yet I fear me it is too comen in our Country, whereby they incur hate of every one and love of none.  
Touching my cunning in any vile devices of Magic, it was never my study, only some delight, I took in the Mathematics, which made me known of more than I would, and of more than think well of me, although I never did hurt any, nor hindered.  
But be thou quiet Phylautus, & use those means that may win thy love, not those that may shorten her life, and if I can any ways stand thee in steed, use me as thy poor friend and countryman, harm I will do thee none, good I cannot. My acquaintance in court is small, and therefore my dealings about the Court shall be few, for I love to stand aloof from love, and lightning Fire giveth light to things far off, and burneth that which is next to it. The court shineth to me that come not there, but singeth those that dwell there. Only my counsel use, that is in writing, & me thou shalt find secret, wishing thee always fortunate, and if thou make me partaker of thy success, it shall not turn to thy grief, but as much as in me lieth, I will further thee.  
When he had finished his discourse, Phylautus liked very well of it, and thus replied.  
WEll Psellus, thou hast wrought that in me, which thou wishest, for if the baits that are laid for beauty be so ridiculous, I think it of as great effect in love, to use a Paister, as a Potion.  
I now utterly dissent from those that imagine Magic to be the means, & consent with thee, that thinkest letters to be, which I will use, & how I speed I will tell thee, in the mean season pardon me, if I use no longer answer, for well you know, that he that hath the fit of an Ague upon him, hath no lust to talk but to tumble, and love pinching me I have more desire to chew upon melancholy, then to dispute upon Magic, but hereafter I will make repair unto you, & what I now give you in thanks, I will then requite with amends.  
Thus these two countrymen parted with certain Italian embracings and terms of courtesy, more than common. Phylautus we shall find in his lodging, Psellus we will leave in his study, the one musing of his love, the other of his learning.  
Here Gentlewomen you may see, how justly men seeks to entrap you, when scornfully you go about to reject them, thinking it not unlawful to use Art, when they perceive you obstinate, their dealings I will not allow, neither can I excuse yours, and yet what should be the cause of both, I can guess.  
When Phydias first painted they used no colours, but black, white, red, and yellow: Zeuxis added green, and every one invented a new shadowing. At the last, it came to this pass, that he in painting deserved most praise, that could set down most colours: whereby there was more contention kindled about the colour, then the counterfeit, and greater emulation for variety in show, than workmanship in substance.  
In the like manner hath it fallen out in Love, when Adam weed there was no policy, but plain dealing, no colours but black & white, Affection was measured by faith not by fancy: he was not curious, nor Eve cruel: he was not enamoured of her beauty, nor she alured with his parsonage: and yet then was she the fairest woman in the world, & he the properest man Since that time every lover hath put too a link, & made of a King, a Chain, and an odd Corner, and framed of a plain Alley, a crooked knot, and of Venus' Temple, Dedalus Labyrinth. One curleth his hair, thinking love to be moved with fair locks, an other layeth all his living upon his back, judging that women are wedded to bravery, some use discourses of Love, to kindle affection, some ditties to allure the mind, some letters to stir the appetite, divers fight to prove their manhood, sundry sighing to show their maladies, many attempt with shows to please their Lady's eyes, not few with Music to entice the ear: Insomuch that there is more strife now, who shall be the finest Lover, than who is the faithfullest.  
This causeth you Gentlewomen, to pick out those that can court you, not those that love you, and he is accounted the best in your conceits, that useth most colours, not that showeth greatest courtesy.  
A plain tale of Faith ye laugh at, a picked discourse of fancy, you marvel at, condemning the simplicity of truth, and preferring the singularity of deceit, wherein you resemble those fishes that rather swallow a fair bait with a sharp hook, than a foulc worm breeding in the mud.  
Héereoff it cometh, that true lovers receiving a flout for their faith, & a mock for their good meaning, are enforced to seek such means as might compel you, which you knowing impossible, maketh you the more disdainful and them the more desperate. This then is my counsel, that you use your lovers like friends, and choose them by their faith, not by the show, but by the sound, neither by the weight, but by the touch, as you do gold: so shall you be praised, as much for virtue as beauty. But return we again to Phylautus, who thus began to debate with himself.  
WHat hast thou done Phylautus, in seeking to wound her, that thou desirest to win?  
With what face canst thou look on her, whom thou soughtest to lose? Fie, fie Phylautus, thou bringest thy good name into question, and her life into hazard, having neither care of thine own credit, nor her honour. Is this the love thou pretendest which is worse than hate? Didst not thou seek to poison her, that never pinched thee?  
But why do I recount those things which are past, and I repent, I am now to consider what I must do, not what I would have done? Folly's past, shall be worn out with faith to come, and my death shall show my desire. Writ Phylautus, what sayest thou? write, no, no, thy rude style will bewray thy mean estate, and thy rash attempt, will purchase thine overthrow. Venus delighteth to hear none but Mercury, Pallas will be stolen of none but Ulysses, it must be a smooth tongue, and a sweet tale that can enrhaunt Vesta.  
Besides that, I dare not trust a messenger to carry it, nor her to read it, least in showing my letter, she disclose my love, and then shall I be pointed at of those that hate me, and pitied of those that like me, of her scorned, of all talked off. No Phylautus, be not thou the buy word of the common people, rather suffer death by silence, than derision by writing.  
I, but it is better to reveal thy love, then conceal if, thou knowest not what bitter poison lieth in sweet words, remember Psellus, who by experience hath tried, that in love one letter is of more force, than a thousand looks. If they like writings, they read them often, if dislike them, run them over once, and this is certain, that she that readeth such toys, will also answer them. Only this be secret in conveyance, which is the thing they thiefliest desire. Then writ Phylautus write, he that feareth every bush, must never go a birding, he that casteth all doubts, shall never be resolved in any thing. And this assure thyself, that be thy letter never so rude and barbarous, she will read it, and be it never so loving she will not show it, which were a thing contrary to her honour, & the next way to call her honesty into question. For thou hast heard, yea and thyself knowest, that Ladies that vaunt of their Lovers, or show their letters, are accounted in Italy counterfeit, and in England they are not thought currant.  
Thus Phylautus determined, hab, nab, to send his letters, flattering himself with the success, which he to himself feigned: and after long musing, he thus began to frame the minister of his love.  
¶ To the fairest Camilla.  
Hard is the choice fair Lady, when one is compelled either by silence to die with grief, or by writing to hue with shame: But so sweet is the desire of life, and so sharp are the passions of love, that I am enforced to prefer an unseemly suit, before an untimely death. Loath I have been to speak, and in despair to speed, the one proceeding of mine own cowardice, the other of thy cruelty. If thou inquire my name, I am the same Phylautus, which for thy sake of late came disguised in a Mask, pleading custom for a privilege, and courtesy for a pardon. The same Philautusm which then in secret terms coloured his love, and now with bitter tears bewrays it. If thou nothing esteem the brinish water that falleth from mine eyes, I would thou couldst see the warm blood that droppeth from my heart. Oftentimes I have been in thy company, where easily thou mightest have perceived my wan cheeks, my hollow eyes, my scalding sighs, my trembling tongue: to foreshow that then which I confess now. Then consider with thyself Camilla, the plight I am in by desire, and the peril I am like to fall into by denial.  
To recount the sorrows I sustain, or the service I have vowed, would rather breed in thee an admiration, than a belief: only this I add for the time, which the end shall try for a truth, that if thy answer be sharp, my life will be short, so far love hath wrought in my pining & almost consumed body, that thou only mayst breathe into me a new life, or bereave me of the old.  
Thou art to weigh, not how long I have loved thee, but how faithfully, neither to examine the worthiness of my person, but the extremity of my passions: so preferring my deserts before the length of time, and my disease, before the greatness of my birth, thou wilt either yield with equity, or deny with reason, of both the which although the greatest be on my side, yet the lest shall not dislike me: for that I have always found in thee a mind neither repugnant to right, nor void of reason. If thou wouldst but permit me to talk with thee, or by writing suffer me at large to discourse with thee, I doubt not but that both the cause of my love would be believed, and the extremity rewarded, both proceeding of thy beauty and virtue, the one able to allure, the other ready to pity.  
Thou must think that God hath not bestowed those rare gifts upon thee to kill those that are caught, but to cure them. Those that are stung with the Scorpion, are healed with the Scorpion, the fire that burneth taketh away the heat of the burn, the Spider Phalaugium that poisoneth, doth with her skin make a plaster for poison, and shall thy beauty which is of force to win all with love, be of the cruelty to wound any with death? No Camilla, I take no less delight in thy fair face, than pleasure in thy good conditions, assuring myself that for affection without lust, thou wilt not render malice without cause.  
I commit my care to thy consideration, expecting thy letter either as a Cullife to preserve, or as a sword to destroy, either as Antidotum, or as Auconitum: If thou delude me, thou shalt not long triumph over me living, and small will thy glory be when I am dead. And I end.  
Thine ever, though he be never thine. Phylautus.  
THis letter being coined, he studied how he might convey it, knowing it to be no less perilous to trust those he knew not in so weighty a case, then difficult for himself to have opportunity to deliver it in so suspicious a company: At the last taking out of his closette a fair Pomegranate, & pulling all the kernels out of it, he wrapped his letter in it, closing the top of it finely, that it could not be perceived, whether nature again had knit it of purpose to further him, or his art had overcome natures cunning.  
This Pomegranate he took, being himself both messenger of his Letter, and the master, & insinuating himself into the company of the Gentlewomen, among whom was also Camilla, he was welcomed, as well for that he had been long time absent, as for that he was as all times pleasant, much good communication there was, touching many matters, which here to insert were neither convenient, seeing it doth not concern the History, nor expedient, seeing it is nothing to the delivery of Phylautus letter. But this it fell out in the end, Camilla whether longing for so fair a Pomegranate, or willed to ask it, yet loath to require it, she suddenly complained of an old disease, wherewith she many times felt herself grieved, which was an extreme heat in the stomach, which advantage Phylautus marking, would not let slip, when it was purposely spoken, that he should not give them the slip, and therefore as one glad to have so convenient a time to offer both his duty & his devotion, he began thus.  
I Have heard Camilla, of Physicians, that there is nothing either more comfortable, or more profitable for the stomach or inflamed liver, than a Pomegranate, which if it be true, I am glad that I came in so good time with a medicine, seeing you were in so ill a time surprised with your malady: and verily this will I say, that there is not one kernel but is able both to ease your pain, and to double your pleasure, & with that he gave it her, desiring that as she felt the working of the potion, so she would consider of the Physician.  
Camilla with a smiling countenance neither suspecting the craft, nor the conueyer, answered him with these thanks.  
I thank you Gentleman, as much for your counsel as your courtesy, and if your cunning be answerable to either of them, I will make you amends for all of them: yet I will not open so fair a fruit as this is, until I feel the pain that I so much fear. As you please quoth Phylautus▪ yet if every morning you take one kernel, it is the way to prevent your disease, and me thinketh that you should be as careful to work means before it come, that you have it not, as to use means to expel it when you have it.  
I am content answered Camilla, to try your physic, which as I know it can do me no great harm, so it may do me much good.  
In truth said one of the Gentlewomen then present, I perceive this Gentleman is not only cunning in Physic, but also very careful for his Patient.  
It behoveth quoth Phylautus, that he that ministereth to a Lady, be as desirous of her health, as his own credit, for that there redoundeth more praise to the Physician that hath a care to his charge, then to him that hath only a show of his art. And I trust Camilla will better accept of the good will I have to rid her of her disease, than the gift, which must work the effect.  
Otherwise quoth Camilla, I were very much to blame, knowing that in many the behaviour of the man, hath wrought more than the force of the medicine. For I would always have my Physician of a cheerful countenance, pleasantly conceited, & well proportioned, that he might have his sharp Potions mixed with sweet counsel, & his sour drugs mitigated with merry discourses. And this is the cause, that in old time, they painted the God of Physic, not like Saturn but Aesculapius: of a good complexion, fine wit, and excellent constitution.  
For this I know by experience, though I be but young to learn, and have not often been sick, that the sight of a pleasant and quick witted Physician, hath removed that from my heart with talk, that he could not with all his treacle.  
That might well be, answered Phylautus, for the man that wrought the cure, did perchance cause the disease, and so secret might the grief be, that none could heal you, but he that hurt you, neither was your heart to be eased by any inward potion, but by some outward persuasion: and then it is no marvel if the ministering of a few words, were more available than Mithridate.  
Well Gentleman said Camilla, I will neither dispute in Physic, wherein I have no skill, neither answer you, to your last surmise, which you seem to level at, but thanking you once again both for your gift & good will, we will use other communication, not forgetting to ask for your friend Euphues, who hath not long time been, where he might have been welcomed at all times, and that he came not with you at this time, we both marvel, and would feign know.  
This question so earnestly asked of Camilla, and so harblye to be answered of Phylautus, nipped him in the head, not withstanding lest he should seem by long silence to incur some suspicion, he thought a bad excuse better than none at all, saying that Euphues now a days became so studious (or as he termed it, superstitious) that he could not himself so much, as have his company.  
Belike quoth Camilla, he hath either espied some new faults in the women of England, whereby he seeketh to absent himself, or some old haunt that will cause him to spoil himself.  
Not so said Phylautus, and yet that it was said so I will tell him.  
Thus after much conference, many questions, & long time spent Phylautus took his leave, and being in his chamber, we will there leave him with such cogitations, as they commonly have, that either attend the sentence of life or death at the bar, or the answer of hope or despair of their loves, which none can set down but he that hath them, for that they are not to be uttered by the conjecture of one that would imagine what they should be▪ but by him that knoweth what they are.  
Camilla the next morning opened the Pomegranet, & saw the letter, which reading, pondering, & perusing, she fell into a thousand contrarieties, whether it were best to answer it or not, at the last, inflamed with a kind of choler, for that she knew not what belonged to the perplexities of a Lover, she requited his fraud and love, with anger and hate, in these terms, or the like.  
To Phylautus.  
I Did long time debate with myself Phylautus, whether it might stand with mine honour to send thee an answer, for comparing my place with thy person, me thought thy boldness more, than either good manners in thee would permit, or I with modesty could suffer. Yet at the last, casting with myself, that the heat of thy love might clean be razed with the coldness of my letter, I thought it good to commit an inconvenience, that I might prevent a mischief, choosing rather to cut thee off short by rigour, then to give thee any jot of hope by silence. Green sores are to be dressed roughly lest they fester, tetters to be drawn in the beginning lest they spread, ring worms to be anointed when they first appear, lest they compass the whole body, and the assaults of love to be beaten ba●k at the first siege, lest they undermine at the second. Fire is to be quenched in the spark, weeds are to be rooted in the bud, follies in the blossom. Thinking this morning to try thy Physic, I perceived thy fraud, insomuch as the kernel that should have cooled my stomach with moistness hath kindled it with choler, making a flaming fire, where it found but hot embers, converting like the spider a sweet flower, into a bitter poison. I am Phylautus no Italian lady, who commonly are wooed with leasings, & won with lust, entangled with deceit, and enjoyed with delight, caught with sin, and cast off with shame.  
For mine own part, I am too young to know the passions of a lover, and too wise to believe them, and so far from trusting any, that I suspect all: not that there is in every one a practice to deceive, but that there wanteth i● me a capacity to conceive.  
Seek not then Phylautus to make the tender twig crooked by Art, which might have grown straight by Nature. Corn is not to be gathered in the bud, but in the ear, nor fruit to be pulled from the tree when it is green, but when it is mellow, nor Grapes to be cut for the press, when they first rise, but when they are full ripe: nor young Ladies to be sued unto, that are fit for a rod then a husband, and meeter to bear blows than children.  
You must not think of us, as of those in your own country, that no sooner are out of the cradle, but they are sent to the court, and wooed sometimes before they are weaned, which bringeth both the Nation & their names, not in question only of dishonesty, but into obliqne.  
This I would have thee to take for a flat answer, that I neither mean to love thee, nor hereafter if thou follow thy suit to hear thee. Thy first practice in the mask I did not allow, the second by thy writing I mislike, if thou attempt the third means, thou wilt enforce me to utter that which modesty now maketh me to conceal.  
If thy good will be so great as thou tellest, seek to mitigate it by reason or time, I thank thee for it, but I can not requite it, unless either thou wert not Phylautus, or I not Camilla. Thus pardoning thy boldness upon condition, and resting thy friend if thou rest thy suit, I end.  
Neither thine, nor her own. Camilla.  
THis letter Camilla stitched into an Italian Petracke which she had, determining at the next coming of Phylautus to deliver it, under the pretence of ask some question, or the understanding of some word. Phylautus attending hourly the success of his love, made his repair according to his accustomable use, and finding the Gentlewomen sitting in an arbour, saluted them courteously, not forgetting to be inquisitive how Camilla was eased by his Pomegranet, which oftentimes ask of her, she answered him thus.  
In faith Phylautus, it had a fair coat, but a rotten kernel, which so much offended my weak stomach, that the very sight caused me to loathe it, and the sent to throw it into the fire.  
I am sorry quoth Phylautus (who spoke no less than truth) that the medicine could not works that, which my mind wished, and with that stood as one in a trance, which Camilla perceiving, thought best to ru● no more on that gall, lest the standers by should espy where Phylautus shoe wrong him.  
Well said Camilla, let it go, I must impute it to my ill fortune, that where I looked for a restority, I found a consumption: and with that she drew out her petracke, requesting him to construe her a lesson, hoping his learning would be better for a schoolmaster, than his luck was for a Physician. Thus walking in the ally she listened to his construction, who turning the book, found where the letter was enclosed, and dissembling that he suspected, he said he would keep her petracke until the morning, do you quoth Camilla.  
With that the Gentlewomen clustered about them both, either to hear how cunningly Phylautus could construe, or how readily Camilla could conceive. It fell out that they turned to such a place, as turned them all to a blank, where it was reasoned, whether love came at the sudden view of beauty, or by long experience of virtue, a long disputation was like to ensue, had not Camilla cut it off before they could join issue, as one not willing in the company of Phylautus either to talk of love, or think of love ●east either he should suspect she had been wooed, or might be won, which was not done so closely, but it was perceived of Phylautus, though dissembled.  
Thus after many words, they went to their dinner, where I omit their table talk, lest I lose mine.  
After their repast, Surius came in with a great train, which lightened Camillas heart, and was a dagger to Phylautus breast, who tarried no longer than he had leisure to take his leave, either desirous to read his Lady's answer, or not willing to enjoy Surius his company, whom also I will now forsake, and follow Phylautus, to hear how his mind is quieted with Camillas courtesy.  
Phylautus no sooner entered his chamber, but he read her letter, which wrought such skirmishes in his mind, that he had almost forgot reason, falling into the old vain of his rage in this manner.  
Ah cruel Camilla and accursed Phylautus, I see now that it fareth with thee, as it doth with the Hare Sea, which having made one astonished with her fair sight, turneth him into a stone with her venomous savour, and with me as it doth with those that view the basilisk, whose eyes procure delight to the looker at the first glimpse, and death at the second glance.  
Is this the courtesy of England towards strangers, to entreat them so despitefully? Is my good will not only rejected without cause, but also disdained without colour? I but Phylautus praise at thy parting, if she had not liked thee, she would never have answered thee. Knowest thou not, that where they love much, they dissemble most, that as fair weather cometh after a foul storm, so sweet terms succeed sour taunts?  
Assay once again Phylautus by letters to win her love, and follow not the unkind hound, who leaveth the scent because he is rated, or the bastard Spaniel, which being once rebuked, never retriueth his game. Let Atlanta run never so swiftly, she will look back upon Hyppomanes, let Medea be as cruel as a fiend to all Gentlemen, she will at the last respect jason. A denial at the first is accounted a grant, a gentle answer a mockery. ladies use their Lovers as the Stork doth her young ones, who pecketh them till they bleed with her bill, and then healeth them with her tongue. Cupid himself must spend one arrow, and thinkest thou to speed with one Letter? No no Phylautus, he that looketh to have clear water must dig deep, he that longeth for sweet Music, must set his strings at the highest, he that seeketh to win his love must stretch his labour, and hazard his life, Venus blesseth Lions in the fold, and Lambs in the chamber, Eagles at the assault, & Foxes in counsel, so that thou must be hardy in the pursuit, & meek in victory, venturous in obtaining, & wise in concealing, so that thou win that with praise, which otherwise thou wilt lose with peevishness. Faint heart Phylautus neither winneth Castle nor Lady: therefore endure all things that shall sharpen with patience, & pursue with diligence, thy fortune is to be tried, not by the accidents but by the end.  
Thus Gentlewomen, Phylautus, resembleth the viper, who being stricken with a reed lieth as he were dead, but stricken the second time, recovereth his strength: having his answer at the first in the mask he was almost amazed, and now again denied, he is animated presuming thus much upon the good disposition and kindness of women, that the higher they sit, the lower they look, and the more they seem at the first to loath, the more they love at the last. Whose judgement as I am not altogether to allow, so can I not in some respect mislike. For in this they resemble the Crocodile, who when one approacheth near unto him, gathereth up himself into the roundness of a ball, but running from him, stretcheth himself into the length of a tree. The willing resistance of women was the cause that made Arelius (whose art was only to draw women) to paint Venus. Cnydia, catching at the ball with her hand, which she seemed to spurn at with her foot. And in this point they are not unlike unto the myrrh Tree, which being hewed, gathereth in his sap, but not moved, poureth it out like syrup. Women are never more coy than when they are beloved, yet in their minds never less constant, seeming to tie themselves to the mast of the ship with Ulysses, when they are wooed, with a strong Cable: which being well discerned is a twine thread: throwing a stone at the head of him, unto whom they immediately cast out an apple, of which their gentle nature Phylautus being persuaded, followed his suit again in this manner.  
Phylautus to the fair, Camilla.  
I Cannot tell (Camilla) whether thy ingratitude be greater, or my misfortune, for perusing the few lines thou gavest me, I found as small hope of my love as of thy courtesy. But so extreme are the passions of love, that the more thou seekest to quench them by disdain, the greater flame thou increasest by desire. Not unlike unto Jupiter's Well, which extingisheth a fiery brand, and kindleth a wet stick. And no less force hath thy beauty over me, than the fire hath over Naplytia, which leapeth into it, wheresoever it seeth it.  
I am not he Camilla that will leave the Rose, because I pricked my finger, or forsake the gold that lieth in the hot fire, for that I burn my hand, or refuse the sweet Chestnut, for that it is covered with sharp husks. The mind of a faithful lover, is neither to be daunted with despite, nor affrighted with danger. For as the Loadstone, what wind soever blow, turneth always to the North, or as Aristotle's Quadratus, which way soever you turn it is always constant: so the faith of Phylautus, is ever more applied to the love of Camilla, neither to be removed with any wind, or rolled with any force. But to thy letter.  
Thou sayst green wounds are to be dressed roughly lest they feaster: certainly thou speakest like a good Chirurgeon, but dealest like one unskilful, for making a great wound, thou puttest in a small tent, cutting the flesh that is sound before thou cure the place that is sore: striking the vain with a knife, which thou shouldest stop with lint. And so hast thou drawn my tettar, (I use thine own term) that in seeking to spoil it in my chin, thou hast spread it over my body  
Thou addest thou art no italian Lady, I answer, would thou wert, not that I would have thee wooed, as thou sayest they are, but that I might win thee as thou now art: and yet this I dare say, though not to excuse all, or to disgrace thee, that some there are in Italy too wise to be caught with leasings, and too honest to be entangled with lust, and as wary to eschew sin, as they are willing to sustain shame, so that whatsoever the most be, I would not have thee think ill of the best.  
Thou allegest thy youth, and allowest thy wisdom, the one not apt to know the impressions of love, the other suspicious not to believe them. truly Camilla I have heard, that young is the Goose that will eat no Oats, and a very ill Cock that will not crow before he be old, and no right Lion, that will not feed on hard meat, before he taste sweet milk, and a tender Virgin God knows it must be, that measureth her affections by her age, when as naturally they are inclined (which thou particularly puttest to our country) to play the brides before they be able to dress their heads.  
Many similitudes thou bringest in to excuse youth, thy twig, thy corn, thy fruit, thy grape, and I know not what, which are as easily to be refelled, as they are to be repeated.  
But my good Camilla, I am as unwilling to confute any thing thou speakest, as I am thou shouldest utter it: insomuch as I would swear the Crow were white, if thou shouldest but say it.  
My good will is greater than I can express, and thy courtesy less than I deserve: thy counsel to expel it with time and reason, of so little force, that I have neither the will to use the mean, nor the wit to conceive it. But this I say, that nothing can break off my love but death, nor any thing hasten my death, but thy discourtesy. And so I attend thy final sentence, and my fatal destiny.  
Thine ever, though he be never thine. Phylautus.  
THis letter he thought by no means better to be conveyed, then in the same book he received hers, so omitting no time, lest the iron should cool before he could strike, he presently went to Camilla, whom he found in gathering of flowers, with divers other Ladies and Gentlewomen, which came as well to recreate themselves for pleasure, as to visit Camilla, whom they all loved, Phylautus somewhat boldened by acquaintance, courteous by nature, and courtly by countenance, saluted them all with such terms, as he thought meet for such personages, not forgetting to call Camilla his scholar, when she had schooled him being her master.  
One of the Ladies who delighted much in mirth, seeing Phylautus behold Camilla so steadfastly, said unto him.  
GEntleman what flower like you best in all this border, here be fair Roses, sweet Violets, fragrant primroses, here will be jillyfloures, Caruations, sops in wine, sweet john's, and what may either please you for fight, or delight you with savour: loath we are you should have a Posy of all, yet willing to give you one, not that which shall look best, but such a one as you shall like best. Phylautus omitting no opportunity, that might either manifest his affection, or commend his wit, answered her thus.  
LAdy of so many sweet flowers to choose the best, it is hard, seeing they be all so good: if I should prefer the fairest before the sweetest, you would happily imagine, that either I were stopped in the nose, or wanton in the eyes: if the sweetness before the beauty, then would you guess me either to live with savours, or to have no judgement in colours, but to tell my mind (upon correction be it spoken) of all flowers, I love a fair woman.  
In deed quoth Flavia, (for so was she named) fair women are set thick but they come up thin, and when they begin to bud, they are gathered as though they were blown, of such men as you are Gentleman, who think green Grass, will never be dry Hay, but when the flower of their youth (being slipped too young) shall fade before they be old, than I dare say, you would change your fair flower for a weed, and the woman you loved then, for the worst Violet you refuse now.  
Lady answered Phylautus, it is a sign that beauty was no niggard of her slips in this garden, and very envious to other grounds, seeing here are so many in one Plot, as I shall never find more in all Italy, whether the reason be, the heat which killeth them, or the country that cannot bear them. As for plucking them up soon, in that we show the desire we have to them, not the malice. Where you conjecture, that men have no respect to things when they be old, I cannot consent to your saying, for well do they know, that it fareth with women as it doth with the Mulberry tree, which the elder it is, the younger it seemeth, and therefore hath it grown to a Proverb in Italy, when one seeth a woman stricken in age to look amiable, he saith she hath eaten a Snake: so that I must of force follow mine old opinion, that I love fresh flowers well, but fair women better. Flavia would not so leave him, but thus replied to him.  
You are very amorous Gentleman, otherwise you would not take the defence of that thing which most men contemn, & women will not confess. For whereas you go about to currey favour, you make a fault, either in praising us too much, which we account in England flattery, or pleasing yourself in your own mind, which wise men esteem as folly. For when you endeavour to prove that women the older they are, the fairer they look, you think them either very credulous to believe, or your talk very effectual to persuade. But as cunning as you are in your Pater noster, I will add one Article more to your Crede, that is, you may speak in matters of love, what you will, but women will believe but what they list, & in extolling their beauties, they give more credit to their own glasses, than men's gloss, but you have not yet answered my request, touching what flower you most desire: for women do not resemble flowers, neither in show nor savour.  
Phylautus not shrinking for an April shower, followed the chase in this manner.  
Lady, I neither flatter you nor please myself (although it pleaseth you so to conjecture) for I have always observed this, that to stand too much in mine own conceit would gain me but little, and to claw those, of whom I sought for no benefit, would profit me less: yet was I never so il brought up, but that I could when time & place should serve, give every one their just commendation, unless it were among those that were without comparison: offending in nothing but in this, that being too curious in praising my Lady, I was like to the Painter Protogenes, who could never leave when his work was well, which fault is to be excused in him, because he would make it better, and may be borne within me, for that I wish it excellent.  
Touching your first demand, which you seem again to urge in your last discourse, I say of all flowers I love the Rose best, yet which this condition, because I will not eat my word, I like a fair Lady well. Then quoth Flavia, since you will needs join the flower with the woman, among all us (and speak not partially) call her your Rose, that you most regard, and if she deny that name, we will enoyne her a penance for her pride, and reward you with a Violet for your pains.  
Phylautus being driven to this shift, wished himself in his chamber, for this he thought, that if he should choose Camilla, she would not accept it, if an other, she might justly reied him. If he should discover his love, than would Camilla think him not to be secret, if conceal it, not to be fervent: beside, all the Ladies would espy his love, and prevent it, or Camilla despise his offer, & not regard it. While he was thus in a deep meditation, Flavia wakened him saying, why Gentleman are you in a dream or is there none here worthy to make choice off, or are we all so indifferent, that there is never a good.  
Phylautus seeing this Lady so courteous, and loving Camilla so earnestly, could not yet resolve with himself what to do, but at the last, love, which neither regardeth what it speaketh, nor where, he replied thus at all adventures.  
Ladies and Gentlewomen, I would I were so fortunate that I might those every one of you for a flower, and then would I boldly affirm, that I could show the fairest posy in the world, but folly it is for me to wish that being a slave, which none can hope for, that is an Emperor. If I make my choice I shall speed so well, as he that enjoyeth all Europe. And with that gathering a Rose, he gave it to Camilla, whose colour so increased, as one would have judged all her face to have been a Rose, had it not been stained with a natural whiteness, which made her to excel the Rose.  
Camilla with a smiling countenance, as though nothing grieved, yet vexed inwardly to the heart, refused the gift flatly, pretending a ready excuse, which was, that Phylautus was either very much overséene, to take her before the Lady Flavia, or else disposed to give her a mock above the rest in the company.  
Well quoth Flavia to Phylautus, (who now stood like one that had been vesmered) there is no harm done, for I perceive Camilla is other wise sped, & if I be not much deceived, she is a flower for Surius wearing, the penance she shall have, is to make you a Nosegay, which she shall not deny thee, unless she defy us, and the reward thou shalt have, is this, while you tarry in England my niece shall be your Violet.  
This ladies Cousin was named Francis, a fair Gentlewoman, and a wise, young and of very good conditions, not much inferior to Camilla, equal she could not be.  
Camilla who was loath to be accounted in any company coy, endeavoured in the presence of the Lady Flavia to be very courteous, and gathered for Phylautus a pofie of all the finest flowers in the garden, saying thus unto him. I hope you will not be offended Phylautus, in that I could not be your Rose, but imputing the fault rather to destiny than discourtesy.  
Phylautus plucking up his spirits, gave her thanks for her pains, and immediately gathered a Uyolette, which he gave Mistress Francis, which she courteously received, thus all parts were pleased for that time.  
Phylautus was invited to dinner, so that he could no longer stay, but pulling out the book wherein his letter was enclosed he delivered it to Camilla, taking his humble leave of the Lady Flavia and the rest of the Gentlewomen.  
When he was gone there fell much talk of him between the Gentlewomen, one commending his wit, an other his parsonage, some his favour, all his good conditions, insomuch that the Lady Flavia bound it with an oath, that she thought him both wise and honest.  
When the company was dissolved, Camilla not thinking to receive an answer but a lecture, went to her Italian book where she found the letter of Phylautus, who without any further advise, as one very much offended, or in a great heat, sent him this bone to gnaw upon.  
To Phylautus.  
SUfficed it not thee Phylautus to bewray thy follies, & move my patience, but thou must also procure in me a mind to revenge, and to thyself the means of a farther peril? Where didst thou learn that being forbidden to be bold, thou shouldest grow impudent? or being suffered to be familiar thou shouldest wear hail fellow? But to so malapert boldness is the demeanour of young Gentlemen come, that where they have been once welcome for courtesy, they think themselves worthy to court any Lady by cumstomes: wherein they imagine they use singular audacity which we can no otherwise term then sauciness, thinking women are to be drawn by their coined & counterfeit conceits, as the straw is by the Aumber, or the iron by the Loadstone, or the gold by the mineral Chrysocholla.  
But as there is no serpent that can breed in the Box tree for the hardness, nor will build in the Cypress tree for the bitterness, so is there no fond or poisoned lover that shall enter into my heart which is hardened like the Adamant, nor take delight in my words, which shallbe more bitter then Gall.  
It fareth with thee Phylautus, as with the droone, who having lost his own wings, seeks to spoil the Bees of theirs, and thou being clipped of thy liberty, goest about to bereave me of mine, not far differing from the natures of Dragons, who sucking blood out of the Elephant, kill him, & with the same, poison themselves: and it may be that by the same means that thou takest in hand to inveigle my mind, thou entrap thine own: a just reward, for so unjust dealing, and a fit revenge for so unkind a regard.  
But I trust thy purpose shall take no place, and that thy millice shall want might, wherein thou shalt resemble the serpent Porphirius, who is full of poison but being toothless he hurteth none but himself, and I doubt not but thy mind is as full of deceit, as thy words are of flattery, but having no teeth to bite, I have no cause to fear.  
I had not thought to have used so sour words, but where a wand cannot rule the horse, a spur must. When gentle medicines, have no force to purge, we must use bitter potions: and where the sore is neither to be dissolved by plaster, nor to be broken, it is requisite it should be lanced.  
Herbs that are the worse for watering, are to be rooted out, trees that are less fertile for the lopping, are to be hewn down, Hawks that ware haggard by manning, are to be cast off, & fond lovers that increase in their follies when they be rejected, are to be despised.  
But as to be without hair amongst the Mycanions, is accounted no shame because they be all borne bald, so in Italy to live in love, is thought no fault, for that there they are all given to lust, which maketh thee to conjecture, that we in England reckon love as the chiefest virtue, which we abhor as the greatest vice, which groweth like the ivy about the trees, and killeth them by culling them. Thou art always talking of love, and applying both thy wit and thy wealth in that idle trade: only for that thou thinkest thyself amiable▪ not unlike unto the Hedgehog, who evermore lodgeth in the thorns, because he himself is full of prickells.  
But take this both for a warning and an answer, that if thou procecute thy suit, thou shalt but undo thyself, for I am neither to be wooed with thy passions, whilst thou livest, nor to repent me of my rigour when thou art dead, which I would not have thee think to proceed of any hate I bear thee, for I malice none, but for love to mine honour, which neither Italian shall violate, nor English man diminish. For as the precious stone Chalazyas, being thrown into the fire keepeth still his coldness, not to be warmed with any heat, so my heart although dented at with the arrows of thy burning affections, and as it were environed with the fire of thy love, shall always keep his hardness, and be so far from being mollysted, that thou shalt not perceive it moved.  
The Violet Lady Flavia bestowed on thee, I wish thee, and if thou like it I will further thee, otherwise if thou persist in thine old follies, whereby to increase my new griefs, I will never come where thou art, nor shalt thou have access to the place where I am For as little agreement shall there be between us, as is betwixt the vine and the cabbage, the Dke and the Dlyve tree, the Serpent and the Ash tree, the Iron and Theamides.  
And if ever thou didst love me manifest it in this, that hereafter thou never write to me, so shall I both be persuaded of thy faith, and eased of mine own fear. But if thou attempt again to wring water out of the Pommices, thou shalt but bewray thy falsehood, and augment thy shame, and my severity.  
For this I swear, by her whose lights can never die, Vesta, and by her whose hests are not to be broken, Diana, that I will never consent to love him, whose sight (if I may so say with modesty) is more bitter unto me then death.  
If this answer will not content thee, I will show thy letters, disclose thy love, and make thee ashamed to undertake that, which thou cannesse never bring to pass. And so I end, thine, if thou leave to be mine.  
Camilla.  
CAmilla dispatched this letter with speed, and sent it to Phylautus by her man, which Phylautus having read, I commit the plight he was in, to the consideration of you Gentlemen that have been in the like: he tore his hair, rend his clothes, and fell from the passions of a Lover to the pangs of frenzy, but at the last calling his wits to him, forgetting both the charge Camilla gave him, and the contents of her letter, he gréeted her immediately again, with an answer by her own Messenger in this manner.  
To the cruel Camilla. greeting.  
IF I were as far in thy beekes, to be believed, as thou art in mine to be beloved, thou shouldest either soon be made a wife, or ever remain a Hirgin, the one would rid me of hope, the other acquit me of fear.  
But seeing there wanteth wit in me to persuade, and will in thee to consent, I mean to manifest she beginning of my love, by the end of my life, the affects of the one, shall appear by the effects of the other.  
When as neither solemn oath, nor sound persuasion, nor any reason can work in thee a remorse, I mean by death to show my desire, the which the sooner it cometh, the sweeter it shallbe, and the shortness of the force, shall abate the sharpness of the sorrow. I cannot tell, whether thou laugh at my folly, or lament my frenzy, but this I say, and with salt tears trickling down my cheeks, I swear, that thou never foundest more pleasure in rejecting my love, than thou shalt feel pain in remembering my loss, and as bitter shall life be to thee, as death to me, and as sorrowful shall my friends be to see thee prosper, as thine glad to see me perish.  
Thou thinkest all I writ, of course, and makest all I speak, of small account: but God who revengeth the perjuries of the dissembler, is witness of my truth, of whom I desire no longer to live, than I mean simply to love.  
I will not use many words, for if thou be wise, few are sufficient, if froward, superfluous: one line is enough if thou be courteous, one word too much, if thou be cruel. Yet this I add, & that in bitterness of soul, that neither my hand dareth write that, which my heart intendeth, nor my tongue utter that which my hand shall execute. And so farewell, unto whom only I wish well.  
Thine ever, though shortly never. Phylautus.  
THis letter being written in the extremity of his rage, he sent by him that brought hers. Camilla perceiving a fresh reply, was not a little melancholy, but digesting it with company, and burning the Letter, she determined never to write to him, nor after that to see him, so resolute was she in her opinion. I dare not say obstinate, lest you Gentlewomen should take Pepper in the nose, when I put but salt in your mouths. But this I dare boldly affirm, that ladies are to be wooed with Appelles' pencil, Orpheus' harp, Mercury's tongue, Adoms beauty, Croesus' wealth, or else never to be won: for their beauties being blazed, their ears tickled, their minds moved, their eyes pleased, their appetite satisfied, their Coffers filled, when they have all things they should have, and would have, than men need not to stand in doubt, of their coming, but of their constancy.  
But let me follow Phylautus, who now both loathing his life, and cursing his luck, called to remembrance his old friend Euphues, whom he was wont to have always in mirth a pleasant companion, in grief a comforter, in all his life, the only stay of his liberty, the discourtesy which he offered him, so increased his grief, that he fell into these terms of rage, as one either in an ecstasy, or in a Lunacy.  
NOw Phylautus dispute no more with thyself of thy love, but be desperate to end thy life, thou hast cast off thy friend, and thy Lady hath forsaken thee, thou destitute of both, canst neither have comfort of Camilla, whom thou seest obstinate, nor counsel of Euphues, whom thou hast made envious.  
Ah my good friend Euphues, I see now at length though too late, that a true friend is of more price than a kingdom, and that the faith of thee, is to be preferred before the beauty of Camilla. For as safe being is it in the company of a trusty mate, as sleeping in the grass Trifole, where there is no Serpent so venomous, that dare venture.  
Thou wast ever careful for my estate, and I careless for thine, thou didst always fear in me the fire of love, I ever flattered myself with the bridle of wisdom, when thou wast earnest to give me counsel, I wart● angry to hear it, if thou didst suspect me upon iu●te cause, I fell out with thee for every light occasion: now, now, Euphues, I see what it is to want a friend, and what it is to lose one, thy words are come to pass, which once I thought thou spakest in sport, but now I find them as a Prophecy, that I should be constrained to stand at Euphues door as the true owner.  
What shall I do in this extremity? which way shall I turn me? of whom shall I seek remedy? Euphues will reject thee, and why should he not? Camilla hath rejected me, & why should she? the one I have offended with too much grief, the other I have served with too great good will, the one is lost with love, the other with hate, he for that I cared not for him, she, because I cared for her. I but though Camilla be not to be moved, Euphues may be mollified. Try him Phylautus, sue to him, make friends, writ to him, leave nothing undone, that may either show in thee a sorrowful heart, or move in him a mind that is pitiful. Thou knowest he is of nature courteous, one that hateth none, that loveth thee, that is tractable in all things, Lions spare those that couch to them, the Tigress biteth not when she is clawed, Cerberus barketh not if Orpheus pipe sweetly, assure thyself that if thou be penitent be will be pleased: and the old friendship will be better than the new.  
Thus Phylautus joying now in nothing, but only in the hope he had to recover that friendship with repentance, which he had broken off by rashness, determined to greet his friend Euphues, who all this while lost no time at his book in London, but how he employed it, he shall himself utter, for that I am neither of his counsel nor court, but what he hath done he will not conceal, for rather he wisheth to bewray his ignorance, than his idleness, and willynger you shall find him to make excuse of rudeness, than laziness. But thus Phylautus saluted him.  
Phylautus to Euphues.  
THe sharp North-east wind (my good Euphues) doth never last three days, tempests have but a short time, and the more violent the thunder is, the less permanent it is. In the like manner, it falleth out with the jars & crossings of friends, which begun in a minute are ended in a moment.  
Necessary it is that among friends there should be some overthwarting, but to continue in anger not convenient, the Camill first troubleth the water before he drink, the Frankincense is burned before it smell, friends are tried before they be trusted, least shining like the Carbuncle as though they had fire, they be found being touched to be without fire.  
Friendship should be like the Wine which Homer much commending, calleth Maroneum, whereof one pint being mingled with five quarts of water, yet it keepeth his old strength and virtue, not to be qualified by any discourtesy. Where salt doth grow nothing else can breed, where friendship is built no offence can harbour.  
Then good Euphues, let the falling out of friends be the renewing of affection, that in this we may resemble the bones of the Lion, which lying still and not moved begin to rot, but being stricken one against another break out like fire, and ware green.  
The anger of friends is not unlike unto the Physicians Cucurbitae which drawing all the infection in the body into one place, doth purge all diseases, and the jars of friends, reaping up all the hidden mallices, or suspicions or follies that lay lurking in the mind, maketh the knot more durable: For as the body being purged of melantholy waxeth light and apt to all labour▪ so the mind as it were scoured of mistrust, becometh fit ever after for belief. But why do I not confess that which I have committed, or knowing myself guilty, why use I to gloze I have unjustly my good Euphues, picked a quarrel against thee, forgetting the counsel thou givest me, and dispistng that which I now desire. Which as often as I call to my mind, I cannot but blush to myself for shame, and fall out with myself for anger.  
For in falling out with thee I have done no otherwise then he that desiring to sail safely killeth him at the helm, resembling him that having need to alight, spurreth his horse to make him stand still, or him that swimming upon another's back, seeketh to stop his breath.  
It was in thee Euphues that I put all my trust, and yet upon thee that I poured out all my malice, more cruel than the Crocodile, who suffereth the bird to breed in her mouth, that scoureth her teeth; & nothing so gentle as the princely Lion, who saved his life, that helped his foot. But if either thy good nature can forget, that which my ill tongue doth repent, or thy accustomable kindness forgive, that my unbridled fury did commit, I will hereafter be as willing to be thy servant, as I am now desirous to be thy friend, and as ready to take an injury, as I was to give an offence.  
What I have done in thine absence I will certify at thy coming, & yet I doubt not but thou cannest guess by my condition, yet this I add, that I am as ready to die as to live, & were I not animated with the hope of thy good counsel, I would rather have suffered the death I wish for, then sustained the shame I sought for.  
But now in these extremities reposing both my life in thy hands, and my service at thy commandment, I attend thine answer, and rest thine to use more than his own.  
Phylautus  
THis letter he dispatched by his boy●, which Euphues reading, could not tell whether he should more rejoice at his friend's submission, or mistrust his subtlety, therefore as one not resolving himself to determine any thing, as yet answered him thus immediately by his own messenger.  
Euphues to him, that was his Phylautus.  
I Have received thy letter, and know the man: I read it and perceived the matter, which I am as far from knowing how to answer, as I was from looking for such an errand.  
Thou beginnest to infer a necessity that friends should fall out when as I cannot allow a convenience. For if it be among such as are faithful, there should be no cause of breach: if between dissemblers, no care of reconciliation.  
The Camel sayst thou, loveth water, when it is troubled, and I say, the heart thirsfeth for the clear stream: and fitly didst thou bring it in against thyself (though applied it, I know not how aptly for thyself) for such friendship dost thou like where brawls may be stirred, not quietness sought.  
The wine Maroneum which thou commendest, and the salt ground which thou inferrest, the one is neither fit for thy drinkng, nor the other for thy taste, for such strong Wines will overcome such light wits, and so good salt cannot relish in so unsavoury a mouth, neither as thou desirest to apply them, can they stand thee in steed. For oftentimes have I found much Water in thy deeds, but not one drop of such wine, and the ground where salt should grow, but never one corn that had savour.  
After many reasons to conclude, that jars were requisite, thou fa●●est to a kind of submission, which I marvel at: For if I gave no cause why didst thou pick a quarrel: if any, why shouldest thou crave a pardon? If thou canst defy thy best friend, what wilt thou do to thine enemy? certainly this must needs ensue, that if thou canst not be constant to thy friend; when he doth thee good, thou wilt never bear with him, when he shall do thee harm: thou that seekest to spill the blood of the innocent, canst she we small mercy to an offender: thou that treadest a Worm on the tail, wilt crush a Wasp on the head: thou that art angry for no cause; wilt I think run mad for a light occasion.  
Truly Phylautus, that once I loved thee I cannot deny, that now I should again do so, I refuse: For small confidence shall I repose in thee, when I am guilty, that can find no refuge in innocency.  
The malice of a friend is like the sting of an Asp, which nothing can remedy, for being pierced in the hand it must be cut off, and a friend thrust to the heart it must be pulled out.  
I had as lief Phylautus have a wound that inwardly might lightly grieve me, than a scar that outwardly should greatly shame me.  
In that thou seemest so earnest to crave atonement thou causest me the more to suspect thy truth: for either thou art compelled by necessity, & then it is not worth thanks, or else disposed again to abuse me, and then it deserveth revenge. Eels cannot be held in a wet hand yet are they stayed with a bitter Fig leaf, the Lamprey is not to be killed with a cugell, yet is she spoiled with a cane, so friends that are so slippery, & wavering in all their dealings, are not be kept with fair and smooth talk, but with rough & sharp taunts: & contrariwise, those which with blows are not to be reform, are oftentimes won with light persuasions.  
Which way I should use thee I know not, for now a sharp word moved thee, when otherwhiles a sword will not, than a friendly check killeth thee, when a razor cannot raze thee.  
But to conclude Phylautus, it fareth with me now, as with those that have been once bitten with the Scorpion, who never after feel any sting, either of the Wasp, or the Hornet, or the be, for I having been pricked with thy falsehood, shall never I hope again be touched with any other dissembler, flatterer, or fickle friend.  
Touching thy life in my absence, I fear me it hath been too lose, but seeing my counsel is no more welcome unto thee then water into a ship, I will not waste wind to instruct him, that wasteth himself to destroy others.  
Yet if I were as fully persuaded of thy conversion, as thou wouldst have me of thy confession, I might happily do that which now I will not.  
And so farewell Phylautus, and though thou little esteem my counsel, yet have respect to thine own credit: So in working thine own good, thou shalt keep me from harm.  
Thine once Euphues.  
This letter pinched Phylautus at the first, yet trusting much to the good disposition of Euphues, he determined to persever both in his suit & amendment, and therefore as one beating his iron that he might frame it while it were hot, answered him in this manner.  
To mine only friend Euphues.  
THere is no bone so hard but being laid in vinegar, it may be wrought, nor ivory so tough, but seasoned with Zutho it may be engraven, nor Box so knotty, that dipped in oil cannot be carved, & can there be a heart in Euphues, which neither will yield to softness with gentle persuasions, nor true perseverance? What canst thou require at my hand that I will deny thee? have I broken the league of friendship? I confess it, have I misused thee in terms? I will not deny it. But being sorrowful for either, why shouldest not thou forgive both.  
Water is praised, for that it savoureth of nothing, Fire, for that it yieldeth to nothing: ● such should the nature of a true friend be, that it should not savour of any rigour, & such the effect, that it may not be conquered with any offence: otherwise, faith put into the breast that beareth grudges, or contracted with him, that can remember griefs, is not unlike unto Wine poured into Fir vessels, which is present death to the drinker.  
Friends must be used as the musicans tune their strings, who finding them in a discord, do not break them, but either by intention or remission, frame them to a pleasant consent: or as Riders handle their young colts, who finding them wild and untractable, bring them to a good pace, with a gentle rain, not with a sharp spur, or as the Scythians ruled their slaves, not with cruel weapons, but with the show of small whips. Then Euphues consider with thyself what I may be, not what I have been, and forsake me not for that I deceived thee, if thou do, thy discourtesy will breed my destruction. For as there is no beast that toucheth the herb whereon the Bear hath breathed, so there is no man that will come near him, upon whom the suspicion of deceit is fastened.  
Concerning my life passed I conceal it, though to thee I mean hereafter to confess it: yet hath it not been so wicked that thou shouldst be ashamed, though so infortunate, that I am grieved. Consider we are in England, where our demeanour will be narrowly marked if we tread awry, and our follies mocked if we use wrangling. I think thou art willing that no such thing should happen, and I know thou art wise to prevent it.  
I was of late in the company of divers gentlewomen, among whom Camilla was present, who marveled not a little, that thou soughtest either to absent thyself, of some conceived injury, where there was none given, or of set purpose, because thou wouldst give one.  
I think it requisite, as well to avoid the suspicion of malice, as to shun the note of ingratitude, that thou repair thither, both to purge thyself of the opinion, may be conceived, and to give thanks for the benefits received.  
Thus assuring myself, thou wilt answer my expectation, and renew our old amity, I end, thine assured to command.  
Phylautus.  
PHilautus did not sleep about his business, but presently sent his letter, thinking that if once he could fasten friendship again upon Euphues, that by his means, he should compass his love with Camilla, and yet this I durst affirm, that Phylautus was both willing to have Euphues, and sorrowful that he lost him by his own lavishness.  
Euphues perused this letter oftentimes, being in a mammering what to answer, at the last he determined once again to lie a loof, thinking that if Phylautus meant faithfully, he would not desist from his suit, and therefore he returned salutations in this manner.  
Euphues to Phylautus.  
THere is an Herb in India, Phylautus, of pleasant smell, but who so cometh to it, feeleth present smart, for that there breed in it, a number of small Serpents. And it may be, that though thy letter be full of sweet words, there breed in thy heart many bitter thoughts, so that in giving credit to thy letters, I may be deceiue● with thy leasings.  
The Box tree is always green, but the seed is poison: Tilia hath a sweet Kind and a pleasant leaf, but the fruit so bitter, that no beast will bite it, a dissembler hath evermore Honey in his mouth, & Gall in his mind, which maketh me to suspect their wiles, though I cannot ever prevent them.  
Thou settest down the office of a friend, which if thou couldst as well perform as thou canst describe, I would be as willing to confirm our old league, as I am to believe thy new laws. Water that savoureth nothing (as thou sayest) may be heated and scaled thee, and fire which yieldeth to nothing, may be quenched when thou wouldst warm thee. So the friend, in whom there was no intent to offend, may thorough the sinister dealings of his fellow be turned to heat, being before cold, and the faith which wrought like a flame in him, be quenched and have no spark.  
The pouring of Wine into Fir vessels, serveth thee to no purpose, for if it be good Wine there is no man so foolish to put it into Fir, if bad, who would power it into better than Fir.  
Musty Casks are fit for rotten Grapes, a barrel of poisoned ivy, is good enough for a tun of stinking Oil, and cruelty, too mild a medicine for craft.  
How Musicians tune their instruments I know, but how a man should temper his friend I cannot felt, yet oftentimes the string breaketh that the Musician seeketh to tune, and the friend cracketh which good counsel should tame, such Colts are to be ridden with a sharp snaffle, not with a pleasant bit, and little will the Scythian whip be regarded, where the sharpness of the sword is derided.  
If thy luck have been inforunate, it is a sign thy living hath not been godly, for commonly there cometh an ill end, where there was a naughty beginning.  
But learn Phylautus to live hereafter, as though thou shouldest not live at all, be constant to them that trust thee, & trust them that thou hast tried, dissemble not with thy friend, either for fear to displease him, or for malice to deceive him, know this, that the best simples are very simple if the Physician could not apply them, that precious stones were no better than Pebbles, if Lapidaries did not know them, that the best friend is worse than a foe, if a man do not use him.  
Mithridate must be taken inwardly, not spread on Plasters, Purgations must be used like drink, not like Baths, the counsel of a friend must be fastened to the mind not to the ear, followed, not praised, employed in good living, not talked off, in good meaning.  
I know Phylautus we are in England, but I would we were not, not that the place is too base, but that we are too bad, and God grant thou have done nothing, which may turn thee to discredit, or me to displeasure. Thou sayest thou wert of late with Camilla, I fear me too late, and yet perhaps too soon, I have always told thee, that she was too high for thee to climb, and too fair for others to catch, and too virtuous for any to inveigle.  
But wild Horses break high Hedges, though they cannot leap over him, eager Wolves bark at the Moon, though they cannot reach it, and Mercury whisteleth for Vesta, though he cannot win her.  
For absenting myself, I hope they can take no cause of offence, neither that I know, have I given any. I love not to be bold, yet would I be welcome, but guests and fish, say we in Athens, are ever stolen within three days, shartly I will visit them, and excuse myself, in the mean season I think so well of them, as it is possible for a man to think of women, and how well that is, I appeal to thee, who always madest them no worse than sancts in heaven, and shrines in no worse place than thy heart.  
For answering thy suit I am not yet so hasty, for accepting thy service, I am not imperious, for in friendship there must be an equal●tie of estates, and that may be in us, also a similitude of manners▪ and that cannot, unless thou learn a new lesson and leave the old, until which time I leave thee: wishing thee wall as to myself.  
Euphues.  
THis letter was written in haste sent with speed, and answered again in post. For Phylautus seeing so good counsel could not proceed of any ill conceit, thought once again to sollycite his friend, and that in such terms as he might be most agreeable to Euphues tune▪ In this manner.  
To Euphues health in body and quietness in mind.  
IN Music there are many discords, before there can be framed a Diapason, and in contracting of good will, many jars before there be established afrindshippe, but by these means, the Music is more sweet, and the amity more sound. I have received thy letter, wherein there is as much good counsel contained, as either I would wish, or thou thyself couldst give: but ever thou harnessed on that string▪ which long since was out of tune, but now is broken, my inconstancy.  
Certes my good Euphues, as I cannot but commend thy wisdom in making a stay of reconciliation (for that thou findest so little stay in me) so can I not but marvel at thy incredulity in not believing me, since that thou seest a reformation in me.  
But it may be thou dealest with me, as the Philosopher did with his knife, who being many years in making of it, always dealing by the observation of the stars, caused it at the last to cut the hard whetstone, saying that it skilled not how long things were a doing, but how well they were done.  
And thou holdest me off with many delays, using I know not what observations, thinking thereby to make me a friend at last, that shall last: I praise thy good meaning, but I mislike thy rigour.  
Me thou shalt use in what thou wilt, and do that with a slender twist, that none can do with a tough with. As for my being with Camilla, good Euphues, rub there no more, lest I winch, for deny I will not, that I am wrong on the withers.  
This one thing touching myself I say, and before him that seeth all things I swear, that hereafter I will neither dissemble to delude thee, nor pick quarrels to fall out with thee, thou shalt find me constant to one, faithless to none, in prayer devout, in manners reform, in life chaste, in words modest: not framing my fancy to the humour of love, but my deeds to the rule of zeal: And such a man as heretofore merrily thou saidst I was, but now truly thou shalt see I am, and as I know thou art.  
Then Euphues appoint the place where we may meet, and reconcite the minds, which I confess by mine own follies were severed. And if ever after this, I shall seem jealous over thee, or blinded towards myself, use me as I deserve, shamefully.  
Thus attending thy speedy answer, for that delays are perilous, especially as my case now standeth▪ I end thine ever to use as thine own.  
Phylautus.  
EVphues seeing such speedy return of an other answer, thought Phylautus to be very sharps set, for to recover him, and weighing with himself, that often in marriages there have fallen out bra●●●●, where the chiefest love should be, and yet again reconciliations, that none ought at any time so to love, that he should find in his heart, at any time to hate. Furthermore, casting in his mind the good he might ●o to Phylautus by his friendship, and the mischief that might ensue by his fellows folly, answered him thus again speedily, as well to prevent the course he might otherwise take▪ as also to prescribe what wa● he should take.  
Euphues to his friend Phylautus.  
Nettles Phylautus have no prick-eared, yet they sting, and words have no points, yet they pearre: though outwardly thou protest great amendment, yet oftentimes the softness of Wool, which the Seres send, sticketh so fast to the shin, that when one looketh it should keep him warm, it fetcheth blood, and thy smooth talk, thy sweet promises may when I shall think to have them performed so delight me, be a corrosive to destroy me.  
But I will not cast beyond the Moon, for that in all things I know there must be a mean.  
Thou sweareth now that thy life shall be lead by my line, that thou wilt give no cause of offence by thy disorders, nor take any by my good meaning, which if it be 〈◊〉, I am as willing to be thy friend, as I am to be mine own.  
But this take for a warning, if ever thou far when thou shouldest jest, or follow thine own will, when thou art to hear my counsel, then will I depart from thee, and so display thee, as none that is wise shall trust thee, nor any that is honest shall live with thee.  
I now am resolved by the letter, of that which I was almost persuaded off, by ●ine own▪ conjecture, touching Camilla.  
Why Phylautus, 〈◊〉 thou so mad without acquaintance of thy part o● su●●●●liarit●● of 〈◊〉, to attempt a thing which will not only be a disgrace to thee, but also a discredit so her▪ Thinkest thou thyself either worthy to wood her, or she willing to w●doe thee? either thou able to frame thy tale to her 〈◊〉, or the ready to give care to thy conclusions?  
No, no Phylautus, thou art too young to woo in England, though old enough to win in Italy, for here they measure more the man by the qualities of his mind, than the proportion of his body. They are too expert in love, having learned in this time of their long peace, every wrinkle that is to be seen or imagined.  
It is neither an ill tale well told▪ nor a good history made better, neither invention of new fables, nor the reciting of old, that ran either allure in them an appetite to love, or almost an attention to hear.  
It fareth not with them as it doth with those in Italy, who prefer a sharp wit▪ before 〈◊〉 wisdom, or a proper man before a perfect mind: they live not by shadows, nor feed of the Air, nor lust after wind. Their love is not tied to Art, but reason, not to the precepts of Ovid, but to the persuasions of honesty.  
But I cannot but mer●aile at thy audacity, that thou ●iddest once dare to move her to love, whom I always feared to solicit in questioning, aswell doubting to be graveled by her quick and ready wit, as to be confuted, by her grave and wise answers.  
But thou wilt say she was of no great birth, of meaner parentage, than thyself. I but Phylautus, they he most noble who are commended more for their perfection, than their petegrée, and let this suffice thee, that her honour consisted in virtue, beauty, wit, not blood, ancestors antiquity. But more of this, at our next meeting, where I think I shall be merry to hear the discourse of thy madness, for I imagine to myself, that she handled thee very hardly, considering both the place she served in, and the person that served her. And sure I am she did not hang for thy mowing.  
A Phoenix is no food for Phylautus, that dainty tooth of thine, must be pulled out, else wilt thou surfeit with desire, and that eagle's eye picked out, else will it be dazzled with delight. My counsel must rule thy conceit, lest thou confound us both.  
I will this evening come to thy lodging where we will confer, And till then, I commend me to thee.  
Thine ever to use, if thou be thine own. Euphues.  
THis letter was so thankfully received of Phylautus, that he almost ran beyond himself for joy, preparing all things necessary, for the entertainment of his friend, who at the hour appointed failed not.  
Many embracings there were, much strange courtesy, many pretty glances, being almost for the time but strangers, biause of their long absence.  
But growing to questioning one with another, they fell to the whole discourse of Phylautus love, who left out nothing that before I put in, which I must omit, lest I set before you Coleworts twice sodden, which will both offend your ears which I seek to delight, and trouble my hand which I covet to case.  
But this I am sure, that Euphues conclusion was this, between waking & winking, that our English Ladies and Gentlewomen were so running in love, that the labour were more easy in Italy to wed one & bury her, than here to woe one & marry her. And thus they with long talking warred weary, where I leave them, not willing to talk any longer, but to sleep their fills till morning.  
Now Gentlewomen, I appeal in this controversy to your consciences, whether there be in you an Art to love as Euphues thinketh, or whether it breed in you as it doth in men: by sight, if one be beautiful, by hearing, if one be witty, by deserts, if one be courteous, by desire, if one be virtuous, which I would not know, to this intent that I might be instructed how to win any of you, but to the end I might wonder at you all: For if there be in love an Art, them do I not marvel to see men that every way are to be beloved, so oftentimes to be rejected. But so secret is this matter pertaining nothing to our sex, I will not farther inquire of it, lest happily in guessing what Art women use in love, I should minister an art they never before knew: And so in thinking to be wray the bait that hath caught one, I give them a net to draw many, putting a sword into the hand, where there is but a sheath, teaching them to strike, that put us to our trying by warding, which would double our peril, who without Art cannot allure them, and increase their tyranny, who without they torment, will come to no parley.  
But this I admonish you, that as your own beauties make you not covetous of your alms towards true lovers, so other men's flattery make you not prodigal of your honours towards dissemblers. Let not them that speak fairest be believed soonest, for true love lacketh a tongue, and is tried by the eyes, which in a heart that meaneth well, are as far from wanton glances, as the mind, is from idle thoughts.  
And this Art I will give you, which we men do commonly practise, if you behold any one that either your courtesy hath alured, or your beauty, or both, triumph not over him, but the more earnest you see him, the more ready be to follow him, and when he thinketh himself nearest, let him be farthest off: Then if he take that with patience, assure yourself he cannot be faithless.  
He that Angleth, plucketh the bait away when he is near a bite, to the end the fish may be more eager to swallow the hook, Birds are trained with a sweet call, but caught with a broad net: and lovers come with fair looks, but are entangled with disdainful eyes.  
The Spaniel that fawneth when he is beaten, will never forsake his master, the man that doteth when he is disdained, will never forego his Mistress.  
But too much of this String, which soundeth too much out of square, and return we to Euphues and Phylautus.  
The next morning when they were risen, they went into a gallery, where Euphues, who perceived Phylautus grievously perplexed for the love of Camilla, began thus between jest and earnest to talk with him.  
PHilautus, I have well nigh all this night been disputing with myself of thy distress, yet can I resolve myself in nothing that either may content me, or quiet thee.  
What metal art thou made off Phylautus, that thinkest of nothing but Love, and art rewarded with nothing less than love: Lucilla was too bad, yet didst thou court her, thy sweet heart now in Naples is none of the best, yet didst thou follow her, Camilla exceeding all, where thou wast to have least hope, thou hast wo●d not without great hazard to thy person, and grief to mine.  
I have perused her letters which in my simple judgement are so far from allowing thy suit, that they seem to loathe thy service. I will not flatter thee in thy follies, she is no match for thee, nor thou for her, the one wanting living to maintain a wife, the other birth to advance an husband. Surius whom I remember thou didst name in thy discourse, I remember in the Court, a man of great birth and noble blood, singular wit & rare parsonage, if he go about to get credit, I muse what hope thou couldst conceive to have a good countenance. Well Phylautus to set down precepts against thy Love, will nothing prevail, to persuade thee to go forward, were very perilous, for I know in the one, love will regard no laws, & in the other persuasions can purchase to liberty. Thou art too heady to enter in, where no heed can help one out.  
Theseus would not go into the Labyrinth without a thread that might show him the way out, neither any wise man enter into the crooked corners of love, unless he knew by what means he might get out. Love which should continued for ever should not be begun in an hour, but slowly be taken in hand, and by length of time finished: resembling Zeuxis that wise Painter, who in things, that he would have last long, took greatest leisure.  
I have not forgotten one Mistress Francis, which the Lady Flavia gave thee for a Uiolette, and by thy description, though she be not equal with Camilla, yet is she fit for Phylautus. If thy humour be such, that nothing can feed it but love, cast thy mind on her, confer the impossibilytie thou hast to win Camilla, with the likelihood thou mayst have to enjoy thy Uyolet: and in this I will endeavour both my wit and my good will, so that nothing shall want in me, that may work ease in thee. Thy Violet if she be honest is worthy of thee, beautiful thou sayest she is, and therefore too worthy: Hot fire is not only quenched by the clear fountain, nor love only satisfied by the fair face. Therefore in this tell me thy mind, that either we may proceed in that matter, or seek a new medicine. Phylautus thus replied.  
OH my good Euphues, I have neither the power to forsake mine own Camilla, nor the heart to deny thy counsel, it is easy to fall into a net, but hard to get out. Notwithstanding I will go against the hair in all things, so I may please thee in any thing, O my Camilla. With that Euphues stayed him, saying.  
●E that hath sore eyes must not behold the candle, nor he that would leave his love, fall to the remembering of his Lady, the one causeth the eye to smart, the other the heart to bleed: well quoth Phylautus, I am content to have the wound searched, yet unwilling to have it cured, but sithence that sick men are not to prescribe diots but to keep them, I am ready to take potions, and if wealth serve, to pay thee for them, yet one thing maketh me to fear that in running after two Hares, I catch neither. And certainly quoth Euphues, I know many good hunters that take more delight to have the Hare on foot, & never catch it, then to have no cry & yet kill in the form: whereby I guess, there cometh greater delight in the hunting, then in the eating. It may be said Phylautus, but I were then very unfit for such pastimes, for what sport soever I have all the day, I love to have the game in my dish at night.  
And truly answered Euphues, you are worse made for a hound then a hunter, for you mar your scent with carrion before you start your game, which maketh you hunt oftentimes counter, whereas if you had kept it pure, you might ere this time have turned the Hare you winded, and caught the game you coursed. Why then I perceive quoth Phylautus, that to talk with Gentlewomen, touching the discourses of love, to eat with them, to confer with them, to laugh with them, is as great pleasure as to enjoy them, to the which thou mayst by some fallacy drive me, but never persuade me: For than were it as pleasant to behold fruit, as to eat them, or to see fair bread as to taste it. Thou errest Phylautus, said Euphues, if thou be not of that mind, for he that cometh into fine gardens is as much recreated to smell the flower, as to gather it. And many we see more delighted with pictures, then desirous to be Painters: the effect of love is faith, not lust, delightful conference, not detestable concupiscence, which beginneth with folly, and endeth with repentance. For mine own part, I would wish nothing, if again I should fall into that vain, then to have the company of her in common conference that I best loved, to hear her sober talk, her wise answers, to behold her sharp capacity, and to be persuaded of her constancy: and in these things do we only differ from brute beasts, who have no pleasure but in sensual appetite. You preach heresic, quoth Phylautus, and beside so repugnant to the text you have taken, that I am more ready to pull thee out of thy Pulpit, then to believe thy gloss.  
I love the company of women well, yet to have them in lawful Matrimony, I like much better, if thy reasons should go as currant, them were love no torment, for hardly doth it fall out with him, that is denied the sight & talk of his lady. Hungry stomachs are not to be said with sayings against surfeitings, nor thirst to be quenched with sentences against drunkenness. To love women & never enjoy them, is as much as to love wine, & never taste it, or to be delighted with fair apparel, & never wear it. An idle love is that, & fit for him that hath nothing but ears, that is satisfied to hear her speak, not desirous to have himself speed. Why then Euphues, to have the picture of his Lady, is as much, as to enjoy her presence, & to read her letters, of as great force, as to hear her answers: which if it be, my suit in love should be as much to the painter to draw her with an amiable face, as to my Lady to write an amorous letter, both which, with little suit being obtained, I may live with love, and never wet my foot, nor break my sleeps, nor waste my money, nor torment my mind.  
But this worketh as much delight in the mind of a lover, as the Apples that hang at Tantalus nose, or the River that runneth close by his chin. And in one word, it would do me no more good, to see my Lady and not to embrace her, in the heat of my desire, then to see fire and not to warm me in the extremity of my cold.  
No, no Euphues, thou makest love nothing but a continual wooing, if thou bar it of the effect, and then is it infinite, if thou allow it, and yet forbidden it, a perpetual warfare, and then is it intolerable. From this opinion no man shall withdraw me, that the end of fishing is catching, not angling: of birding, taking, not whistling: of love, wedding, not wooing Otherwise it is no better than hanging, Euphues smile to see Phylautus so earnest, urged him again, in this manner.  
WHy Phylautus, what harm were it in love, if the heart should yield his right to the eye, or the fancy his force to the care. I have read of many, & some I know, between whom there was as fervent affection as might be, that never desired any thing, but sweet talk, and continual company at banquets, at plays, and other assemblies, as Phrigius & Pieria, whose constant faith was such, that there was never word nor thought of any uncleanness. Pygmalion loved his ivory image, being enamoured only by the sight, & why should not the chaste love of others, be builded rather in agreeing in heavenly meditations, then temporal actions. Believe me Phylautus, if thou knewest what it were to love, thou wouldst be as far from the opinion thou holdest, as I am. Phylautus thinking no greater absurdity to be held in the world than this, replied before the other could end, as followeth.  
IN deed Euphues, if the king would resign his right to his Legate, than were it not amiss for the heart to yield to the eyes. Thou knowest Euphues that the eye is the messenger of love, not the Master, that the ear is the carrier of news, the heart the disgester. Besides this suppose one have neither ears to hear his lady speak, nor eyes to see her beauty, shall he not therefore be subject to the impression of love. If thou answer no, I can allege divers, both deaf & blind, that have been wounded, if thou grant it, them confess the heart must have his hope, which is neither seeing nor hearing, and what is the third?  
Touching Phrigius and Peria, think them both fools in this, for he that kéeketh a Hen in his house to cackle & not lay, or a Cock to crow and not to tread, is not unlike unto him that having sown his wheat never reapeth it, or reaping it never thresheth it, taking more pleasure to see fair corn then to eat fine bread: Pygmalion maketh against this, for Venus seeing him so earnestly to love, & so effectually to pray, granted him his request, which had he not by importunate suit obtained, I doubt not but he would rather have hewed her in pieces than honoured her with passions, and set her up in some Temple for an image, not kept her in his house for a wife. He that desireth only to talk & view without any further suit, is not far different from him that liketh to see a painted rose better than to smell to a perfect Violet, or to hear a bird sing in a bush, rather than to have her at home in his own cage.  
This will I follow, that to plead for love, and request nothing but looks, and to deserve works, and live only by words, is as one should plough his ground, & never so we it, grind his colours and never paint, saddle his horse and never ride.  
As they were thus communing, there came from the Lady Flavia a Gentleman, who invited them both that night to supper, which they with humble thanks given promised to do so, and till supper time I leave them debating their question.  
Now Gentlewomen, in this matter I would I knew your minds, and yet I can somewhat guess at your meanings, if any of you should love a Gentleman of such perfection as you can wish, would it content you only to hear him, to see him dance, to mark his parsonage, to delight in his wit, to wonder at all his qualities, & desire no other solace? If you like to hear his pleasant voice to sing, his fine singers to play, his proper parsonage to undertake any exploit, would you covet no more of your love? As good it were to be silent and think no, as to blush and say I  
I must needs conclude with Phylautus, though I should cavil with Euphues, that the end of love, is the full fruition of the party beloved, at all times and in all places. For it cannot follow in reason, that because the sauce is good which should provoke mine appetite, therefore I should forsake the meat for which it was made. Believe me the qualities of the mind, the beauty of the body, either in man or woman, are but sauce to whet our stomachs, not meat to fill them. For they that live by the view of beauty still, look very lean, and they that seed only upon virtue at board, will go with an hungry belly to bed.  
But I will not crave here in, your resolute answer, because between them it was not determined, but every one as he liketh, and then.  
Euphues and Phylautus being now again sent for to the Lady Flavia her house, they came presently, where they found the worthy Gentleman Surius, Camilla, Mistress Francis, with many other Gentlemen and Gentlewomen.  
At their first entrance doing their duty, they saluted all the company, and were welcomed.  
The Lady Flavia entertained them both very lovingly, thanking Phylautus for his last company, saying be merry Gentleman at this time of the year, a Violet is better than a Rose, and so she arose and went her way, leaving Phylautus in a muse at her words, who before was in a maze at Camillas looks. Camilla came to Euphues in this manner.  
I am sorry Euphues that we have no green Rushes, considering you have been so great a stranger, you make me almost to think that of you, which commonly I am not accustomed to judge of any, that either you thought yourself too good, or our cheer too bad, other cause of absence I cannot imagine, unless seeing us very idle, you sought means to be well employed, but I pray you hereafter be bold, and those things which were amiss shall be redressed, for we-wil have Quails to amend your commons, and some questions to sharpen your wits, so that you shall neither find fault with your diet for the grossness, nor with your exercise for easiness. As for your fellow & friend Phylautus we are bound to him, for he would oftentimes see us, but seldom eat with us, which made us think that he cared more for our company, than our meat.  
Euphues as one that knew his good, answered her in this wise.  
Fair Lady, it were unseemly to strew green rushes for his coming, whose company is not worth a straw, or to account him a stranger, whose boldness, hath been strange to all those that knew him to be a stranger.  
The small ability in me to requited, compared with the great cheer I received, might happily make me refrain which is contrary to your conjecture: Whether was I ever so busied in any weighty affairs, which I accounted not as lost time in respect of the exercise I always found in your company, which maketh me think that your latter objection proceeded rather to convince me for a truant, then to manifest a truth.  
As for the Quails you promise me, I can be content with beef, and for the questions they must be easy, else shall I not answer them, for my wit will show with what gross diet I have been brought up, so that conferring my rude replies with my base birth, you will think that mean cheer will serve me, and reasonable questions deceive me, so that I shall neither find fault for my repast, nor favour for my reasons, Phylautus in deed taketh as much delight in good company as in good cates, who shall answer for himself, with that Phylautus said.  
Truly Camilla where I think myself welcome, I love to be bold, and when my stomach is filled I care for no meat, so that I hope you will not blame me, if I come often and eat little.  
I do not blame you by my faith quoth Camilla, you mistake me, for the oftener you come, the better welcome, and the less you eat, the more is saved.  
Much talk passed, which being only as it were a repetition of former things, I omit as superfluous, but this I must note, that Camilla earnestly desired Surius to be acquainted with Euphues, who very willingly accomplished her request, desiring Euphues for the good report he had heard of him, that he would be as bold with him, as with any one in England, Euphues humbly showing his duty, promised also as occasion should serve, to try him.  
It now grew toward Supper time, when the table being covered, and the meat served in, Lady Flavia placed Surius over against Camilla, and Phylautus next Mistress Francis, she took Euphues and the rest, and placed them in such order, as she thought best. What cheer they had I know not, what talk they used I heard not: but Supper being ended, they sat still, the Lady Flavia speaking as followeth.  
GEntlemen & Gentlewomen these Lenten Evenings be long, and a shame it were to go to bed: cold they are, and therefore folly it were to walk abroad: to play at Cards is common, at Chests tedious, at Dice unseemly, with Christmas games untimely. In my opinion therefore, to pass away these long nights, I would have some pastime that might be pleasant, but not unprofitable, rare but not without reasoning: so shall we all account the Evening well spent, be it never so long, which otherwise would be tedious, were it never so short.  
Surius the best in the company, & therefore best worthy to answer, and the wisest, and therefore best able, replied in this manner.  
GOod Madam you have prevented my request with your own, for as the case now standeth, there can be nothing either more agreeable to my humour or these gentlewomen's desires, to use some discourse, aswell to renew old traditions, which have been héertosore used, as to increase friendship, which hath been by the means of certain odd persons defaced. Every one gave his consent with Surius, yielding the choice of that night's pastime, to the discretion of the Lady Flavia, who thus proposed her mind.  
Your task Surius shall be to dispute with Camilla, & choose your own argument, Phylautus shall argue with Mistress Francis, Martius with myself. And all having finished their discourses, Euphues shall be as judge, who▪ hath done best, and whatsoever he shall allot either for reward, to the worthiest, or for penance to the worst, shallbe presently accomplished. This liked them all exceedingly. And thus Surius with a good grace & pleasant speech, began to enter the lists with Camilla.  
Fair Lady, you know I flatter not, I have read that the sting of an Asp were incurable, had not nature given them dim eyes, and the beauty of a woman no less infectious, had not nature bestowed upon them gentle hearts, which maketh me ground my reason upon this common place, that beautiful women are ever merciful, if merciful, virtuous, if virtuous constant, if constant, though no more than goddesses, yet no less than Saints, all these things granted, I urge my question without condition.  
If Camilla, one wounded with your beauty (for under that name I comprehend all other virtues) should sue to open his affection, serve to try it, & drive you to so narrow a point, that were you never so incredulous, he should prove it, yea so far to be from suspicion of deceit, that you would confess he were clear from distrust, what answer would you make, if you gave your consent, or what excuse if you deny his courtesy.  
Camilla, who desired nothing more than to be questioning with Surius, with a modest countenance, yet somewhat bashful (which added more commondation to her speech then disgrace) replied in this manner.  
THough there be no cause noble Gentleman, to suspect an injury where a good turn hath been received ●ot is it wisdom to be careful, what answer be made, where the question is difficult. I have heard that the tortoise in India, when the Sun shineth swimmeth above the water with her back, & being delighted with the fair weather, forgetteth herself, until the heat of the Sun so harden her shell, that she cannot sink when she would▪ whereby she is caught. And so may it far with me, that in this good company, dasplaying my mind, having more regard to my delight in talking, then to the ears of the hearers, I forget what I speak, and so ●e taken insou●● thing, I should not utter, which happily the itching ears of young Gentlemen would so canvas, that when I would call it in, I cannot, and so be caught with the tortoise, when I would not.  
Therefore if any thing be spoken either unwares or unjustly, I am to crane pardon for both: having but a weak memory, and a worse wit, which you cannot deny me for that we say women are to be borne with all if they offend against their wills, and not much to be blamed if they trip with their wills, the one proceeding of forgetfulness, the other, of their natural weakness, but to the matter.  
IF my beauty (which God knows how simple it is) should entangle any with desire, than should I thus think, that either he were inflamed with lust rather than love (for that he is moved by my countenance, not inquiring of my conditions,) or else that I gave some occasion of lightness, because he gathereth a hope to speed, where he never had the heart to speak. But if at the last I should perceive that his faith were tried like gold in the fire, that his affection proceeded from a mind to please, not from a mouth to delude, than would I either answer his love with liking, or wean him from it by reason. For I hope sir you will not think this, but that there should be in a woman aswell a tongue to deny, as in a man to desire, that as men have reason to like for beauty, where they love, so women have wit to refuse for sundry causes, where they love not.  
Otherwise were we bound to such an inconvenience, that whosoever served us, we should answer his suit, when in every respect we mystic his conditions, so that Nature might be said to frame us for others humours, not for our own appetites. Wherein to some we should be thought very courteous, but to the most, scarce honest. For mine own part, if there be any thing in me to be liked of any, I think it reason to bestow on such a one, as hath also somewhat to content me, so that where I know my self loved, and do love again, I would upon just trial of his constancy, take him. Surius without any stop or long pause replied presently.  
LAdy if the tortoise you spoke off in India, were as cunning in swimming, as you are in speaking he would neither fear the heat of the Sun, nor the gin of the Fisher. But that excuse was brought in, rather to show what you could say, then to crave pardon, for that you have said. But to your answer.  
What your beauty is, I will not here dispute, lest either your modest ears should glow to hear your own praises, or my smooth tongue trip in being curious to your perfection, so that what I cannot commend sufficiently, I will not cease continually to marvel at. You wander in one thing out of the way, where you say that many are inflamed with the countenance, not inquiring of the conditions, when this position was before grounded, that there was none beautiful, but she was also merciful, and so drawing by the face of her beauty, all other moral virtues, for as one ring being touched with the Loadstone draweth another, and that his fellow, till it come to a thaine, so a Lady endued with beauty, pulleth on courtesy, courtesy mercy, & one virtue links itself to another, until there be a rare perfection.  
Besides touching your own lightness, you must not imagine that love breedeth in the heart of man by your looks, but by his own eyes, neither by your words when you speak wittily, but by his own ears, which conceive aptly. So that were you dumb and could not speak, or blind, and could not see, yet should you be beloved, which argueth plainly, that the eye of the man is the arrow, the beauty of the woman the white, which shooteth not, but receiveth, being the patiented, not the agent: upon trial you confess you would trust, but what trial you require you conceal, which maketh more suspect that either you would have a trial without mean, or without end, either not to be sustained being impossible, or not to be finished being infinite. Wherein you would have one run in a circle, where there is no way out, or build in the air, where there is no means how.  
This trial Camilla must be sifted to narrower points, lest in seeking to try your lover like a jennet, you tire him like a jade.  
Then you require this liberty (which truly I cannot deny you) that you may have the choice as well to refuse, as the man hath to offer, requiring by that reason some qualities in the person you would bestow your love on: yet craftily hiding what properties either please you best, or like women well: wherein again you move a doubt, whether parsonage, or wealth, or wit, or all, are to be required: so that what with the close trial of his faith, and the subtle wishing of his qualities, you make either your Lover so holy, that for faith he must be made all of truth, or so exquisite that for shape he must be framed in ware: which if it be your opinion, the beauty you have will be withered before you be wedded, & your wooers good old Gentlemen before they be spéeders.  
Camilla not permitting Surius to leap over the hedge, which she set for to keep him in, with a smiling countenance shaped him this answer.  
IF your position be granted, that where beauty is, there is also virtue, then might you add that where a fair flower is, there is also a sweet savour, which how repugnant it is to our common experience, there is none but knoweth, and how contrary the other is to truth, there is none but seeth. Why then do you not set down this for a rule which is as agreeable to reason, that Rhodope being beautiful (if a good complexion and fair favour be termed beauty) was also virtuous? that Lais excelling, was also honest? that Phrine surpassing them both in beauty, was also courteous? But it is a reason among your Philosophers, that the disposition of the mind, followeth the composition of the body, how true in arguing it may be, I know not, how false in trial it is, who knoweth not?  
Beauty, though it be amiable, worketh many things contrary to her fair show, not unlike unto silver, which being white, draweth black lines, or resembling the tall trees in Ida, which alured many to rest in them under their shadow, and then infected them with their scent.  
Now whereas you set down, that love cometh not from the eyes of the woman, but from the glances of the man (under correction be it spoken) it is as far from the truth, as the head from the toe. For were a Lady blind, in what can she be beautiful? if dumb, in what manifest her wit? when as the eye hath ever been thought the Pearl of the face, and the tongue the Ambassador of the heart? If there were such a Lady in this company Surius that should wink with both eyes, when you would have her see your amorous looks, or be no blab of her tongue, when you would have her answer to your questions, I cannot think, that either her virtuous conditions, or her white and red complexion could move you to love.  
Although this might somewhat procure your liking, that doing what you list, she will not see it, and speaking what you would, she will not utter it, two notable virtues and rare in our sex, patience, and silence.  
But why talk I about Ladies that have no eyes, when there is no man that will love them, if he himself have eyes. More reason there is to woo one that is dumb, for that she cannot deny your suit, and yet having ears to hear, she may as well give an answer with a sign as a sentence. But to the purpose.  
Love cometh not from him that loveth, but from the party loved, else must he take his love upon no cause, and then it is lust, or think himself the cause, and then it is no love. Then must you conclude thus, if there be not in women the occasion, they are foolrs to trust men that praise them, if the cause be in them, then are not men wise to arrogate it to themselves.  
It is the eye of the women that is made of Adamant, the heart of the man that is framed of iron, and I cannot think you will say that the virtue attractive is in the iron which is drawn by force, but in the Adamant that searcheth it perforce. And this is the reason, that many men have been entangled against their wills with love, and kept in it, with their wills.  
You know Surius that the fire is in the flint that is stricken, not in the steel that striketh, the light in the Sun that dareth, not in the Moon that borroweth, the love in the woman that is served, not in the man that sueth.  
The similitude you brought in of the arrow, flew nothing right to beauty, wherefore I must shoot that shaft at your own breast. For if the eye of man be the arrow, & beauty the white (a fair mark for him that draweth in Cupid's bow) then must it necessarily ensue, that the archer desireth with an aim to hit the white, not the white the arrow, that the mark allureth the Archer, not the shooter the mark, and therefore is Venus said in one eye to have two Apples, which is commonly applied to those that witch with the eyes, and not those that woo with their eyes.  
Touching trial, I am neither so foolish to desire things impossible, nor so froward to request that which hath no ende●●●ut words shall never make me believe without works, lest in following a fair shadow, I lose the firm substance, and in one word set down the only trial that a Lady requireth of her lover, it is this, that he perform as much as he swore, that every oath be a deed, every gloase a gospel, promising nothing in his talk, that he perform not in his trial.  
The qualities that are required of the mind are good conditions, as temperance, not to exceed in diet, chastity, not to sin in desire, constancy, not to covet change, wit to delight, wisdom to instruct, mirth to please without offence, and modesty to govern without preciseness.  
Concerning the body, as there is no Gentlewoman so curious to have him in print, so is there no one so careless to have him a wretch, only his right shape to show him a man, his Christendom to prove his faith, indifferent wealth to maintain his family, expecting all things necessary, nothing superfluous. And to conclude with you Surius, unless I might have such a one, I had as leave be buried as married, wishing rather to have no beauty and die a chaste virgin, them no joy & live a cursed wife. Surius as one daunted having little to answer, yet delighted to hear her speak, with a short speech uttered these words.  
I Perceive Camilla, that be your cloth never so bad, it will take some colour, & your cause never so false, it will bear some show of probability, wherein you manifest the right nature of a woman, who having no way to win, thinketh to overcome with words. This I gather by your answer, that beauty may have fair leaves, and foul fruit, that all that are amiable are not honest, that love proceedeth of the woman's perfection, and the man's follies, that the trial looked for, is to perform whatsoever they promise, that in mind he be virtuous, in body comely, such a husband in my opinion is to be wished for, but not looked for. Take heed Camilla, that seeking all the Wood for a straight stick, you choose not at the last a crooked staff, or describing a good counsel to others, thou thyself follow the worst: much like to Chius, who selling the best wine to others, drank himself of the lees.  
Truly quoth Camilla, my Wool was black, and therefore it could take no other colour, and my cause good, and therefore admitteth no cavil: as for the rules I set down of love, they were not coined of me, but learned, & being so true, believed. If my fortune be soil that searching for a wand, I gather a camocke, or selling wine to other, I drink vinegar myself, I must be content that of the worst poor help patience, which by so much the more is to be borne, by how much the more it is perforce.  
As Surius was speaking, the Lady Flavia prevented him, saying, it is time that you break off your speech, lest we have nothing to speak, for should you wade any farther, you would both waste the night, and leave us no time, and take our reasons, and leave us no matter, that every one therefore may say somewhat, we command you to cease, that you have both said so well, we give you thanks. Thus letting Surius and Camilla to whisper by themselves (whose talk we will not hear) the Lady began in this manner to greet Martius.  
We see Martius that where young folks are, they treat of love, when soldiers meet they confer of war, painters of their colours, musicans of their crotchets, & every one talketh of that most, he liketh best. Which seeing it is so, it behoveth us, that have more years, to have more wisdom, not to measure our talk by the affections we have had, but by those we should have.  
In this therefore I would know thy mind, whether it be convenient for women to haunt such places where Gentlemen are, or for men to have access to Gentlewomen, which me thinketh in reason cannot be tolerable, knowing that there is nothing more pernicious to either, then love, and that love breedeth by nothing sooner than looks. They that fear water will come near no wells, they that stand in dread of burning, fly from the fire: & ought not they that would not be entangled with desire, to refrain company? If love have the pangs which the passi●na●● set down, why do they not abstain from the cause? if it be pleasant why do they dispraise it.  
We shun the place of pestilence for fear of infection, the eyes of Catherismes, because of diseases, the sight of the Basilisk, for dread of death, and shall we not eschew the company of them that may entrap us in love, which is more bitter than any destruction?  
If we fly thieves that stolen our goods, shall we follow murderers that cut our throats? If we be héedie to come where Wasps be, lest we be strong▪ shall we hazard to run where Cupid is, where we shallbe stifled? truly Martius in my opinion there is nothing either more repugnant to reason, or abhorring from nature, then to seek that we should shun, leaving the clear stream to drink of the muddy ditch, or in the extremity of heat to lie in the parching Sun, when he may sleep in the cold shadow, or being free from fancy, to seek after love, which is as much as to cool a hot Liver with strong wine, or to cure a weak stomach with raw flesh. In this I would hear thy sentence, induced the rather to this discourse, for that Surius and Camilla have begun it, then that I like it: Love in me hath neither power to command, nor persuasion to entreat. Which how idle a thing it is, and how pestilent to youth, I partly know, and you I am sure can guess.  
Martius not very young to discourse of these matters, yet desirous to utter his mind, whether it were to flatter Surius in his will, or to make trial of the Lady's wit: Began thus to frame his answer.  
MAdam, there is in Chio the Image of Diana which to those that enter seemeth sharp and sour, but returning after their suits made, looketh with a merry and pleasant countenance. And it may be that at the entrance of my discourse ye will bend your brows as one displeased, but hearing my proof be delighted and satisfied.  
The question you move is, whether it be requisite, that Gentlemen and Gentlewomen should meet.  
Truly among lovers it is convenient to augment desire, amongst those that are firm, necessary to maintain society. For to take away all meeting for fear of love, were to kindle amongst all, the fire of hate. There is greater danger Madam, by absence, which breedeth melancholy, then by presence, which engendereth affection.  
If the sight be so perilous, that the company should be barred, why then admit you those to see banquets, that may thereby surfeit, or suffer them to eat their meat by a candle that have sore eyes? To be separated from one I love, would make me more constant, and to keep company with her I love not, would not kindle desire. Love cometh as well in at the ears, by the report of good conditions, as in at the eyes by the amiable countenance, which is the cause that divers have loved those they never saw, and seen those they never loved.  
You allege that those that fear drowning, come near no wells, nor they that dread burning, near no fire. Why then let them stand in doubt also to wash their hands in a shallow brook: for that Serapus falling into a channel was drowned: and let him that is cold never warm his hands, for that a spark fell into the eyes of Actina, whereof she died. Let none come into the company of women, for that divers have been alured to love, and being refused, have used violence to themselves.  
Let this be set down for a law, that none walk abroad in the day but men, lest meeting a beautiful woman, he fall in love, and lose his liberty.  
I think Madam you will not be so precise, to cut off all conference, because love cometh by often communication, which if you do, let us all now presently departed, least in seeing the beauty which dazzleth our eyes, and hearing the wisdom which tickleth our ears, we be inflamed with love.  
But you shall never beat the Fly from the Candle though he burn, nor the Quail from the Hemloch though it be poison, nor the lover from the company of his Lady though it be perilous.  
It falleth out sundry times, that company is the cause to shake off love, working the effects of the root Rhubarb, which being full of choler, purgeth choler, or of the Scorpion's sting, which being full of poison, is a remedy for poison.  
But this I conclude, that to bar one that is in love of the company of his Lady, maketh him rather mad then mortified, for him to refrain that never knew love, is either to suspect him of folly without cause, or the next way for him to fall into folly when he knoweth the cause.  
A lover is like the herb Heliotropium, which always inclineth to that place where the Sun shineth, and being deprived of the Sun, dieth. For as Lunaris herb, as long as the Moon waxeth, bringeth forth leaves, and in the waning shaketh them off: so a lover whilst he is in the company of his Lady, where all joys increase, uttereth many pleasant conceits, but banished from the sight of his Mistress, where all mirth decreaseth either liveth in melancholy, or dieth with desperation.  
The Lady Flavia speaking in his cast, proceeded in this manner.  
LKuely Martius I had not thought that as yet your costs tooth stuck in your mouth, or that so old a truant in love, could hitherto remember his lesson. You seem not to infer that it is requisite they should meet, but being in love that it is convenient, least falling i●●o a mad mood, they pine in their own peevishness. Why then let it follow, that the drunkard which surviveth with wine be always quaffing, because he liketh it, or the Epicure which glutteth himself with meat be ever eating, for that it contenteth him not seeking at any time the means to redress their vices, but to renew 〈◊〉. But it fareth with the Lover as it doth with him that poureth in much wine, who is ever more thirsty, than he that drinketh moderately, for having once tasted the delights of love, he desireth most the thing that hurteth him most, not laying a plaster to the wound, but a corrosive.  
I am of this mind, that if it be dangerous, to lay Flare to the fire, Salt to the eyes, Sulphur to the nose, that then it cannot be but perilous to let one Lover come in presence of the other. For Surius overhearing the Lady, and seeing her so earnest, although he were more earnest in his suit to Camilla, cut her off with these words.  
GOod Madam give me leave either to depart, or to speak, for in truth you gall me more with these terms, than you witted, in seeming to inveigh so bitterly against the meeting of lovers, which is the only Marrow of love, and though I doubt not but that Martius is sufficiently armed to answer you, yet would I not have those reasons refelled, which I loath to have repeated. It may be you utter them not of malice you bear to love, but only to move controversy where there is no question: For if thou envy to have lovers meet, why did you grant us, if allow it, why seek you to separate us?  
The good Lady could not refrain from laughter, when she saw Surius so angry, who in the midst of his own tale was troubled with hers, whom she thus again answered.  
I cry you mercy gentleman, I had not thought to have catched you, when I fished for an other, but I perceive now, that with one bean it is easy to get two Pigeons, & with one bait to have divers bits, I see that others may guess where the shoe wrings, besides him that wears it.  
Madam quoth Surius, you have caught a Frog, if I be not deceived, and therefore as good it were not to hurt him, as not to eat him, but if all this while you angled to have a bit at a Lover, you should have used no bitter medicines but pleasant baits.  
I cannot tell answered Flavia, whether my bayght were bitter or not, but sure I am I have the Fish by the gill that doth me good.  
Camilla not thinking to be silent, put in her speak as she thought into the best wheel, saying.  
Lady your cunning may deceive you in fishing with an Angle, therefore to catch him you would have, you were best to use a Net. A Net quoth Flavia, I need none, for my Fish playeth in a net already, with that Surius began to winch, replying immediately, So doth many a Fish good Lady that slippeth out, when the Fisher thinketh him fast in, and it may be, that either your net is too weak to hold him, or your hand too wet. A wet hand quoth Flavia will hold a dead Hearing: I quoth Surius, but Eels are no Hearings, but Lovers are, said Flavia.  
Surius not willing to have the Grass mown, where off he meant to make his hay, began thus to conclude.  
GOod Lady leave off fishing for this time, and though it be Lent, rather break a statute which is but penal, than sew a Pond that may be perpetual.  
I am content quoth Flavia, rather to fast for once, than to want a pleasure for ever: yet Surius betwixt us two, I will at large prove, that there is nothing in love more venomous than meeting, which filleth the mind with grief, and the body with diseases, for having the one, he cannot fail of the other. But now Phylautus and Néece Francis, since I am cut off, begin you: but be short, because the time is short, and that I was more short than I would.  
Francis who was ever of wit quick, and of nature pleasant, seeing Phylautus all this while to be in his dumps, began thus to play with him.  
GEntleman, either you are musing who shall be your second wife, or who shall father your first child, else would you not all this while hang your head, neither attending to the discourses that you have heard, nor regarding the company you are in: or it may be (which of both conjectures is likeliest) that hearing so much talk of love, you are either driven to the remembrance of the Italian Ladies which once you served, or else to the service of those in England, which you have since your coming seen, for as Andromache, when so ever she saw the Tomb of Hector could not refrain from weeping, or as Laodamia could never behold the picture of Protesilaus in wax, but she always fainted: so Lovers whensoever they view the Image of their Ladies, though not the same substance, yet the similitude in shadow, they are so benumbed in their joints, and so bereft of their wits, that they have neither the power to move their bodies to show life, nor their tongues to make answer, so that I thinking that with your other senses, you had also lost your smelling, thought rather to be a Thorn, whose point might make you feel somewhat, than a Uyolet whose savour could cause you to smell nothing.  
Phylautus seeing this Gentlewoman so pleasantly disposed, replied in this manner.  
Gentlewoman to study for a second wife, before I know my first, were to resemble the good housewife in Naples, who took thought to bring forth her Chickens, before she had Hens to lay Eggs, and to muse who should father my first child, were to doubt when the Cow is mine, who should owe the Calf. But I will neither be so hasty to beat my brains about two wives, before I know where to get one, nor so jealous to mistrust her fidelity, when I have one. Touching the view of ladies, or the remembrance of my loves, me thinketh it should rather sharp the point in me, then abate the edge. My senses are not lost, though my labour be, & therefore my good Uyolet prick not him forward with sharpness, whom thou shouldest rather comfort with savours. But to put you out of doubt that my wits were not all this while a wolgathering, I was debating with myself, whether in love, it were better to be constant, bewraying all the counsels, or secret being ready every hour to flinch: And so many reasons came to confirm either, that I could not be resolved in any. To be constant, what thing more requisite in love, when it shall always be green like the ivy, though the Sun parch it, that shall ever be hard like the true Diamond, though the hammer beat it, that still groweth with the good vine, though the knife cut it. Constancy is like unto the Stork, who wheresoever she fly cometh into no Neaste, but her own, or the Lapwing whom nothing can drive from her young ones but death: But to reveal the secrets of Love, the counsels, the conclusions, what greater despite to his Lady, or more shameful discredit to himself can be imagined, when there shall no Letter pass but it shall be disclosed, no talk uttered, but it shall be again repeated, nothing done but it shall be revealed: Which when I considered, me thought it better, to have one that should be secret though fickle, than a blab, though constant. For what is there in the world that more delighteth a lover than secrecy, which is void of fear, without suspicion, free from envy: the only hope a woman hath to build both her honour and honesty upon.  
The tongue of a lover should be like the point in the Dial, which though it go, none can see it going, or a young tree, which though it grow, none can perceive it growing, having always the stone in their mouth, which the Cranes use, when they fly over Mountains, lest they make a noise, but to be silent, and lightly to esteem of his Lady, to shake her off, though he be secret, to change for every thing, though he bewray nothing, is the only thing that cutteth the heart in pieces, of a true and constant lover, which deeply weighing with myself, I preferred him that would never remove, though he reveal all, before him that would conceal all, and ever be flyding: thus wasting too and fro, I appeal to you my good Uyolet, whether in love be more required secrecy or constancy.  
Francis with her accustomable boldness yet modestly, replied as followeth.  
GEntleman, if I should ask you whether in the making of a good sword, iron were more to be required or steel, sure I am you would answer that both were necessary: Or if I should be so curious, to demand whether in a tale told to your ladies disposition, or mention most convenient, I cannot think but you would judge them both expedient, for as one metal is to be tempered with an other in fashioning a good blade, lest either being all of steel it quickly break, or all of iron it never cut: so fareth it in speech, which if it be not seasoned as well with wit to move delight, as with Art to manifest cunning, there is no eloquence, and in no other manner standeth it with Love, for to be secret and not constant, or constant and not secret, were to build a house of mortar without stones, or a wall of stones without mortar.  
There is no lively picture drawn without couldur, no curious image wrought with one tool, no perfect Music played with one string, and wouldst thou have love the pattern of eternity, coloured either with constancy alone, or only secrecy?  
There must in every triangle be three lines, she first beginneth, the second augmenteth, the third concludeth it a figure. So in love three virtues, affection, which draweth the heart, secrecte, which inereaseth the hope, constancy, which finish the wor●ie: without any of these lines there can be no triangle, without any of these virtues, no love.  
There is no man that runneth with one ledgge, no bird that flieth with one wing, no love that l●●eth with one limb. Love is likened to the Emerald 〈◊〉 cracketh rather than consenteth to any 〈◊〉, and can there be any greater villainy than being secret, not to be constant, or being constant not to be se●●●●t●. But it falleth out with those that being constant and yet full of babble, as it doth with the serpent Fabulus & the ●iper, who burst with their own brood, as these ●●●o●e with their own tongues.  
It is no question Phylautus to astle which is vest ●●●● being not joined there is never a good▪ If thou make a question where there is no doubt, thou must take an answer where there is no reason. Why then also dost thou not inquire whether it were better for a horse to want his foreleggs or his hinder, when having not all he cannot travelt: why art thou not inquisitive whether it were more convenient for the wrestlers in the games of Olympia to be without arms or without feet, or for frees to want roots or lack tops, when either is impossible? There is no true lover believe me Phylautus▪ sense telleth me so, not trial that hath not faith, secrecy, and constancy. If thou want, either it is lust, no love, and that thou hast not them all, thy profound question assureth me: which if thou didst ask to try my wit, thou thoughtest me very dull, if thou resolve thyself of a doubt, I cannot think thee very sharps.  
Philatus that perceived her to be so sharp, thought once again like a whetstone to make her sharper, and in these words returned his answer.  
MY sweet Violet, you are not unlike unto those, who having gotten the startte in a race, think none to be near their heels, because they be foremost: For having the tale in your mouth, you imagine it is all truth, and that none can control it.  
Francis who was not willing to hear him go forward in so fond an argument, cut him off before h●● should come to his conclusion.  
GEntleman, the faster you run after me, the farther you are from me: therefore I would wish you to take heed, that in seeking to strike at my heels, you trip not up your own▪ You would feign with your wit cast a white upon black, wherein you are not unlike unto those, that seeing their shadow very short in the Sun▪ think to for●h their head with their heel, and putting forth their leg are farther from it, then when they stood still. In my opinion it were better to sit on the ground with little ease, then to rise and fall with great danger.  
Philatus being in a maze to what end this talk should tend, thought that either Camilla had made her privy to his love, or that she meant by suspicion to entrap him: Therefore meaning to leave his former question, and to answer her speech, proceeded thus.  
Mystris Francis, you resemble in your sayings the Painter Tamantes, in whose pictures there was ever, more understood then painted, for 〈◊〉 a gloze you seem to shadow that, which in 〈◊〉 you will not show. It cannot be my Violet that the faster I run after you, the farther I should be from you 〈◊〉 that either you have wings 〈◊〉 your 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉 thorns thrust into mine. The last 〈…〉 catcheth the Hare, though the 〈…〉 him ● the flow. Snail climbeth the Tower at law, though the swift Swallow mount it, the last●st 〈…〉 the go●e, sometimes though the lightest be née●● it▪ ●n 〈◊〉 I had as lief stand at the receive, as at the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 running rather endeure long with an 〈…〉ble, then leave off being out of wind, with a 〈…〉: Esspecially when I run as Hippomanes 〈◊〉 with Atlanta, who was last in the course, bu● 〈◊〉 the crown: So that I guess that women are either easy to be out stripped, or writing.  
I seek not to trip at you, 〈◊〉 I might to hinder you and hurt myself: for in sitting your course by striking at your 〈◊〉 heels, you would when I should crave pardon, show me a high 〈◊〉.  
As for my shadow, I never go as out ●●●●●th it, but when the Sun is at the highest, for than is my shadow at the shortest, so that it is not 〈◊〉 it's to t●u●h my head with my heel, when it lye●● 〈◊〉 under my heel.  
You say it is better so fit 〈…〉 to 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉, and I say he that 〈◊〉 climbeth for 〈◊〉 of falling▪ is like unto him that 〈…〉 of surfeiting.  
If you think either the 〈◊〉 so 〈◊〉, wherein I run, that I must ●●éede● fa●●, 〈◊〉 feet so chill that I must needs founder, 〈…〉 change thy court hereafter ● but ● mean to 〈◊〉 it now: for I had rather fall out of a low window to the ground then hang in the mid way by a briar.  
Francis who took no little pleasure to hear Phylautus talk began to come on roundly in these terms.  
IT is a sign Gentleman that your footemanshippe is better than your stomach, for whatsoever you say, me thinketh you had rather be held in a slip, then let slip, wherein you resemble the grayehounde, that seeing his game, leapeth upon him that holdeth him, not running after that he is held for: or the Hawk which being cast off at a Partridge, taketh a stand to prune her feathers, when she should take her flight. For it seemeth you bear good will to the game you cannot play at, or will not, or dare not, wherein you imitate the Cat that leaveth the Mouse, to follow the milkpan: for I perceive that you let the Hare go by, to hunt the Badger.  
Phylautus astonished at this speech, knew not which way to frame his answer, thinking nows that she perceived his tale to be addressed to her, though his love were fired on Camilla: But to rid her of suspicion, though loath that Camilla should conceive any inkling, he played fast and lose in this manner.  
GEntlewoman you mistake me very much, for I have been better taught then fed, and therefore I know how to follow my game, if it be for my gain: For were there two Hares to run at, I would endeavour not to catch the first that I followed, but the last that I started: yet so as the first should not scape, nor the last be caught.  
You speak contraries quoth Francis, and you will work wonders, but take heed your cunning in hunting, make you not to lose both.  
Both said Phylautus why I seek but for one, and yet of two quoth Francis, you cannot tell which to follow, one runneth so fast you will never catch her, the other is so at the squat, you can never find her.  
The Lady Flavia, whether desirous to sleep, or loathe these jests should be too broad, as Moderator commanding them both to silence, willing Euphues as Umper in these matters, briefly to speak his mind. Camilla and Surius are yet talking, Francis and Phylautus are not idle, yet all attentive to hear Euphues, as well for the expectation they had of his-wit, as to know the drift of their discourses, who thus began the conclusion of all their speeches.  
IT was a Law among the Persians, that the Musician should not judge the Painter, nor any one meddle in that handy craft, wherein he was not expert, which maketh me marvel good Madam, that you should appoint him to be an Umper in Love, who never yet had skill in his laws. For although I seemed to consent by my silence, before I knew the argument whereof you would dispute, yet hearing nothing but reasons for love▪ I must either call back my promise, or call in your discourses, and better it were in my opinion, not to have your reasons concluded, then to have them confuted. But sure I am that neither a good excuse will serve, where authority is rigorous, nor a bad one be heard, where necessity compelleth. But lest I be longer in breaking a web, than the spider is in wearing it, your pardons obtained, if I offend in sharpness, and your patience granted, if molest in length, I thus begin to conclude against you all, not as one singular in his own conceit, but to be tried by your gentle constructions.  
SVrius beginneth with Love, which proceedeth by beauty (under the which he comprehendeth all other virtues) Lady Flavia moveth a question, whether the méering of lovers be tolerable. Phylautus cometh in with two branches in his hand, as though there were no more leaves of that tree, ask whether constancy or secrecy be most to be required: great hold there hath been who should prove his love best, when in my opinion there is none good. But such is the vanity of youth, that it thinketh nothing worthy either of commendation or conference but only love, whereof they sow much, & reap little, wherein they spend all, and gain nothing, whereby they runue into dangers before they witted, and repent their desires before they would. I dde not discommendè honest affection, which is grounded upon virtue as thè mean, but disordinate fancy, which is builded upon lust, as an extremity: & lust I must term that, which is begun in an hour, and ended in a minute, the common love in this our age, where Ladies are courted for beauty, not for virtue, men loved for proportion in body, not perfection in mind.  
It fareth with Lovers, as with those that drink of the river jellus in Phrigia, whereof sipping moderately is a medicine, but swilling with excess it breedeth madness.  
Lycurgus set it down for a law, that where men were commonly drunken, the vines should be destroyed, and I am of that mind, that where youth are given to love, the means should be removed. For as the earth wherein the mines of silver and gold are hidden, is profitable for no other thing but metals, so the heart wherein love is harboured, receiveth no other seed but affection. lovers seek not those things which are most profitable, but most pleasant, resembling those that make garlands, who choose the fairest flowers not the wholesomest, and being once entangled with desire, they always have the disease, not unlike unto the Goat, who is never without an Ague, then being once in, they follow the note at the Nightingale, which is said, with continual ●raining to sing, to perish in her sweet lays, as they do in their sugared lives: where is it possible either to eat, or drink or walk, but he shall hear some question of love? insomuch that love is become so common, that there is no artificer of so base a craft, no clown so simple, no beggar so poor, but either talketh of love, or liveth in love, when they neither know the means to come by it, nor the wisdom to increase it: And what can be the cause of these loving worms, but only jolenesse?  
But to set down as a moderator the true perfection of love? not like as an enemy to talk of the infection (which is neither the part of my office, nor pleasant to your ears,) this is my judgement.  
True & virtuous love is to be grounded upon Time, Reason, Favour, and Virtue. Time to make trial, not at the first glance so to settle his mind, as though he were willing to be caught, when he might escape, but so by observation and experience, to build and augment his desires, that he be not deceived with beauty, but persuaded with constancy. Reason that all his doings and proceedings seem not to flow from a mind inflamed with lust, but a heart kindled with love. Favour to delight his eyes, which are the first messengers of affection. Virtue to allure the soul, for the which all things are to be desired.  
The arguments of faith in a man, are constancy, not be removed, secrecy not to utter, security not to mistrust, credulytie to believe: in a woman patience to endure, jealousy to suspect, liberality to bestow, fervency, faithfulness, one of the which branches if either the man want or the woman, it may be a liking between them for the time, but no love to continue for ever.  
Touching Surius his question, whether love come from the man or the woman, it is manifest that it beginneth in both, else can it not end in both.  
To the Lady Flavia's demand concerning company, it is requisite, they should meet, and though they be hindered by divers means, yet is it impossible but that they will meet.  
Phylautus must thus think, that constancy without secrecy availeth little, and secrecy without constancy profiteth less.  
Thus have I good Madam, according to my simple skill in love, set down my judgement, which you may at your ladyship's pleasure correct, for he that never took the oar in hand, must not think scorn to be taught.  
Well quoth the Lady, you can say more if you list, but either you fear to offend our ears, or to bewray your own follies: one may easily perceive, that you have been of late in the painter's shop, by the colours that stick in your coat, but at this time I will urge nothing, though I suspect somewhat.  
Surius gave Euphues thanks, allowing his judgement in the description of love, especially in this, that he would have a woman if she were faithful, to be also jealous, which is as necessary to be required in them as constancy.  
Camilla smiling said, that Euphues was deceived, for he would have said, that men should have been jealous, and yet that had been but superfluous, for they are never otherwise.  
Phylautus thinking Camilla to use that speech to gird him, for that all the night he viewed her with a suspicious eye, answered, that jealousy in a man was to be pardoned, because there is no difference in the look of a lover, that can distinguish a jealous eye, from a loving.  
Francis who thought her part not to be the least, said, that in all things Euphues spoke Gospel, saving in that he bond a woman to patience, which is to make them fools.  
Thus every one gave his verdict, & so with thanks to the lady Flavia, they all took their leave for that night. Surius went to his lodging, Euphues and Phylautus to theirs, Camilla accompanied with her women & her waiting maid, departed to her home, whom I mean to bring to her chamber, leaving all the rest to their rest.  
Camilla no sooner had entered in her chamber, but she began in strange terms to utter this strange tale, her door being close shut, and her chamber voided.  
AH Camilla, ah wretched wench Camilla, I perceive now, that when the Hoppe groweth high it must have a pole, when the ivy spreadeth, it cleaveth to the flint, when the Nine riseth, it wreatheth about the Elm, when virgins war in years, they follow that which belongeth to their appetites, love, love? Yea love Camilla, the force whereof thou knowest not, & yet must endure the fury. Where is that precious herb Panace, which cureth all diseases? Or that herb Nepenthes that procureth all delights? No no Camilla: love is not to be cured by herbs which cometh by fancy, neither can plasters take away the grief, which is grown so great by persuasions. For as the stone Draconites can by no means be polished, unless the Lapidary burn it, so the mind of Camilla can by no means be cured, except Surius ease it.  
I see that love is not unlike unto the stone Pantura, which draweth all other stones, be they never so heavy, having in it the three roots which they attribute to Music, Mirth, Melancholy, Madness.  
I but Camilla dissemble thy love, though it shorten thy life, for better it were to die with grief, then live with shame. The sponge is full of water, yet is it not seen, the herb Adyaton though it be wet, looketh always dry, & a wise lover be she never so much tormented, behaveth herself as though she were not touched. I but fire cannot be hidden in the flar without smoke, nor Musk in the bosom without smell, nor love in the breast without suspicion: Why then confess thy love to Surius, Camilla, who is ready to ask before thou grant. But it fareth in love as it doth with the root of the Keede, which being put unto the fern taketh away all his strength: and likewise the root of the fern put to the Kéede, depriveth it of all his force: so the looks of Surius having taken all freedom from the eyes of Camilla, it may be the glances of Camilla have bereaved Surius of all liberty, which if it were so, how happy shouldest thou be, & that it is so, why shouldest not thou hope. I but Surius is noble, I but love regardeth no birth, I but his friends will not consent, I but love knoweth no kindred, I but he is not willing to love nor thou worthy to be wooed, I but love maketh the proudest to stoop, and to court the poorest.  
Whilst she was thus debating, one of her Maidens chanced to knock, which she hearing left of that, which all you Gentlewomen would gladly hear, for no doubt she determined to make a long sermon, had not she been interrupted: But by the preamble you may guess to what purpose the drift tended▪ This I note, that they that are most wise, most virtuous, most beautiful, are not free from the impressions of Fancy: For who would have thought that Camilla who seemed to disdain love, should so soon be entangled. But as the straightest wands are to be bend when they be small, so the precisest virgins are to be won when they be young. But I will leave Camilla, which whose love I have nothing to meddle, for that it maketh nothing to my matter. And return we to Euphues, who must play the last part.  
EVphues, bestowing his time in the Court, began to mark diligently the men and their manners, not as one curious to misconstrue, but desirous to be instructed. Many days he used speech with the Ladies, sundry times with the Gentlewomen, with all became so familiar, that he was of all earnestly beloved.  
Phylautus had taken such a smack in the good entertainment of the Lady Flavia, that he began to look askewe upon Camilla, driving out the remembrance of his old love, with the recording of the new. Who now but his Violet, who but Mistress Francis, whom if once every day he had not seen, he would have been so solen, that no man should have seen him.  
Euphues who watched his friend, demanded how his love proceeded with Camilla, unto whom Phylautus gave no answer but a smile, by the which Euphues thought his affection but small. At the last thinking it both contrary to his oath and his honesty to conceal any thing from Euphues, he confessed, that his mind was changed from Camilla to Francis. Love quoth Euphues will never make thee mad, for it cometh by fits▪ not like a quotidian, but a tertian. In deed quoth Phylautus, if ever I kill myself for love, it shall be with a sigh, not with a sword.  
Thus they passed the time many days in England, Euphues commonly in the court to learn fashions, Phylautus ever in the country to love Francis: so sweet a violet to his nose, that he could hardly suffer it to be an hour from his nose.  
But now came the time that Euphues was to try Phylautus truth, for it happened that letters were directed from Athens to London, concerning serious and weighty affairs of his own, which incited him to hasten his departure, the contents of the which, when he had imparted to Phylautus and requested his company, his friend was so fast tied by the eyes, that he found thorns in his heel, which Euphues knew to be thoughts in his heart and by no means he could persuade him to go into Italy so sweet was the very smoke of England.  
Euphues knowing the tide would tarry for no man, & seeing his business to require such speed, being for his great preferment, determined suddenly to departed, yet not without taking of his leave courteously, & giving thanks to all those which since his coming had used him friend lie: Which that it might be done with one breath, he desired the Merchant with whom all this white he sojourned to invite a great number to dinner, some of great calling, many of good credit, among the which Surius as chief, the Lady Flavia, Camilla and Mistress Francis were not forgotten.  
The time being come of meeting, he faluted them all in this manner.  
I was never more desirous to come into England, than I am loath to departed, such courtesy have I found, which I looked not for, and such qualities as I could not look for, which I speak not to flatter any, when in truth it is known to you all. But now the time is come that Euphues must pack from those, whom he best loveth, and go to the Seas, which he hardly brooketh. But I would Fortune had dealt so favourable with a poor Grecian, that he might have either been borne here, or able to live here: which seeing the one is past and cannot be, the other unlikely, and therefore not easy to be, I must endure the cruelty of the one, and with patience bear the necessity of the other.  
Yet this I earnestly crave of you all, that you will in stead of a recompense accept thanks, and of him that is able to give nothing, take prayer for payment. What my good mind is to you all, my tongue cannot utter, what my true meaning is, your hearts cannot conceive: yet as occasion shall serve, I will show that I have not forgotten any, though I may not requite one. Phylautus not wiser than I in this, though bolder, is determined to tarry behind: for he saith, that he had as lief be buried in England, as married in Italy▪ so holy doth he think the ground here, or so homely the women there, whom although I would gladly have with me, yet seeing I cannot, I am most earnestly to request you all, not for my sake, who ought to desire nothing, nor for his sake who is able to deserve little, but for the courtesies sake of England, that you use him not so well as you have done, which would make him proud, but no worse than I wish him, which will make him pure: for though I speak before his face, you shall find true behind his back, that he is yet but wax, which must be wrought whilst the water is warm, and iron which being hot, is apt either to make a Key or a lock.  
It may be Ladies and Gentlewomen all, that though England be not for Euphues to dwell in, yet it is for Euphues to send to.  
When he had thus said, he could scarce speak for weeping, all the company were sorry to forego him, some proffered him money, some lands, some houses, but he refused them all, telling them, that not the necessity of lack caused him to departed, but of importance.  
This done, they sat down all to dinner, but Euphues could not be merry, for that he should so soon depart the feast being ended, which was very sumptuous, as merchants never spare for cost, when they have full Coffers, they all heartily took their leaves of Euphues, Camilla who liked very well of his company, taking him by the hand, desired him that bring in Athens, he would not forget his friends in England, and the rather for your sake quoth she, your friend shallbe better welcome, yea, and to me for his own sake quoth Flavia, whereat Phylautus rejoiced, and Francis was not sorry, who began a little to listen to the lure of love.  
Euphues having all things in a readiness, went immediately toward Dover, whether Phylautus also accompanied him, yet not forgetting by the way to visit the good old father Fidus, whose courtesy they received at their coming. Fidus glad to see them, made them great cheer according to his ability, which had it been less, would have been answerable to their desires. Much communication they had of the Court, but Euphues cried quittance, for he said, things that are commonly known, it were folly to repeat, and secrets, it were against mine honesty to utter. The next morning they went to Dover, where Euphues being ready to take ship, he first took his farewell of Phylautus in these words.  
PHilautus, the care that I have had of thee, from time to time, hath been tried by the counsel I have always given thee, which if thou have forgotten, I mean no more to write in water, if thou remember, imprint it stil. But seeing my departure from thee is as it were my death, for that I know not whether ever I shall see thee, take this as my last testament of good will.  
Be humble to thy superiors, gentle to thy equals, to thy inferiors favourable, envy not thy betters, justle not thy fellows, oppress not the poor.  
The stipend that is allowed to maintain thee▪ use suisely, be neither prodigal to spend all, nor covetous to keep all, cut thy coat according to thy cloth, & think it better to be accounted thrifty among the wise, than a good companion among the riotous.  
For thy study or trade of life, use thy book in the morning▪ thy bow after dinner, or what other exercise shall please thee best, but always have an eye to the main, whatsoever thou art chanced at the buy. Let thy practice be law, for the practice of Physic is too base for so fine a stomach as thine, & divinity too curious for so fickle a head as thou hast. Touching thy proceed in love, be constant to one, & try but one, otherwise thou shalt bring thy credit into question, and thy love into derision.  
Wean thyself from Camilla, deal wisely with Francis, for in England thou shalt find those that will decipher thy dealings be they never so politic, be secret to thyself & trust none in matters of love, as thou lovest thy life.  
Certify me of thy proceedings by thy letters, & think that Euphues cannot forget Phylautus, who is as dear to me as myself Commend me to all my friends: And so farewell good Phylautus, and well shalt thou far if thou follow the counsel of Euphues.  
PHilautus the water standing in his eyes, not able to answer one word, until he had well wept, replied at the last as it were in one word, saying, that his counsel should be engraven in his heart, and he would follow every thing that was prescribed him, certifiing him of his success as either occasion, or opportunity should serve.  
But when friends at departing would utter most, than tears hinder most, which broke off both his answer, and stayed Euphues reply, so after many millions of embracings, at the last they departed, Phylautus to London where I leave him, Euphues to Athens, where I mean to follow him, for he it is that I am to go with, not Phylautus.  
there was nothing that happened on the Seas worthy the writing, but within few days Euphues having a merry wind, arrived at Athens, where after he had visited his friends, & set an order in his affairs, he began to address his letters to Livia, touching the state of England in this manner.  
LIuia I salute thee in the Lord, etc.  
I am at length returned out of England, a place in my opinion, (if any such may be in the earth) not inferior to a Paradise.  
I have here enclosed sent thee the description, the manners, the conditions, the government and entertainment of that country.  
I have thought it good to dedicate it to the Ladies of Italy, if thou think it worthy, as thou canst not otherwise, cause it to be imprinted, that the praise of such an Isle, may cause those that dwell else where, both to commend it, and marvel at it.  
Phylautus I have left behind me, who like an old Dog followeth his old scent, Love, wiser he is, than he was wont, but as yet nothing more fortunate. I am in health, and that thou art so, I hear nothing to the contrary, but I know not how it fareth with me, for I cannot as yet brook mine own country, I am so delighted with another.  
Advertise me by letters what estate thou art in, also how thou likest the state of England, which I have sent thee. And so farewell.  
Thine to use, Euphues.  
To the Ladies and Gentlewomen of Italy: Euphues wisheth health and honour.  
IF I had brought (Ladies) little dogs from Malta, or strange stones from India, or fine carpets from Turkey, I am sure that either you would have wooed me to have them, or wished to see them.  
But I am come out of England with a Glass▪ wherein you shall behold the things which you never saw, & marvel at the sights which you have seen. Not a glass to make you beautiful, but to make you blush, yet not at your vices, but others virtues, not a glass to dress your hairs, but to redress your harms, by the which if you every morning correct your manners, being as careful to amend faults in your hearts, as you are curious to find faults in your heads, you shall in short time be as much commended for virtue of the wise, as for beauty of the wanton.  
Yet at the first sight if you seem deformed by looking in this Glass, you must not think that the fault is in the glass, but in your manners, not resembling Lavia, who seeing her beauty in a true glass to be but deformity, washed her face, and broke the glass.  
Here you shall see beauty accompanied with virginiie, temperance, mercy, justice, magnanimity, & all other virtues whatsoever, rare in your sex, and but one, & rarer than the Phoenix, where I think there is not one.  
In this glass shall you see that the glasses which you carry in your fans of feathers, show you to be lighter than feathers, that the Glasses wherein you carouse your wine, make you to be more wanton than Bacchus, that the new found glass Chains, that you were about your necks, argue you to be more brittle than glass. But your eyes being to old to judge of so rare a spectacle, my counsel is, that you look with spectacles, for ill can you abide the beams of the clear Sun, being scant able to view the blaze of a dim candle. The spectacles I would have you use, are for the one eye judgement without flattering yourselves, for the other eye, belief without mistrusting of me.  
And then I doubt not but you shall both thank me for this Glass (which I send also into all places of Europe) and think worse of your garysh Glasses, which maketh you of no more price than broken glasses.  
Thus fair Ladies, hoping you will be as willing to pry in this Glass for amendment of manners, as you are to prank yourselves in a looking glass, for commendation of men, I wish you as much beauty as you would have, so as you would endeavour to have as much virtue as you should have▪ And so farewell.  
Euphues.  

¶ Euphues Glass for Europe.  
THere is an Isle lying in the Ocean Sea, directly against that part of France, which containeth Picardy and Normandy, called now England, heretofore named Britain, it hath Ireland upon the West side, on the North the main Sea, on the East side, the German Ocean▪ This Island is in circuit, 1720. miles, in form like unto a Triangle, being broadest in the South part, & gathering narrower & narrower till it come to the farthest point of Cathnesse, Northward, where it is narrowest, & there endeth in manner of a Promonterie. To repeat the ancient manner of this Island, or what sundry Nations have inhabited there, to set down the Giants, which in highness of bone have passed the common size, and almost common credit, to rehearse what diversities of languages have been used, into how many kingdoms it hath been divided, what religions have been followed before the coming of Christ, although it would breed great delight to your ears, yet might it happily seem tedious: for that Honey taken excessively cloyeth the stomach, though it be Honey.  
But my mind is briefly to touch such things as at my being there I gathered by mine own study and inquiry, not meaning to write a Chronicle, but to set down in a word what I heard by conference.  
It hath in it twenty & six Cities, of the which the chiefest is named London, a place both for the beauty of building, infinite riches, variety of all things, that excelleth all the Cities in the world: insomuch that it may be called the storehouse and Mart of all Europe. Close by this City runneth the famous River called the Thames, which from the head where it riseth named Isis, unto the fall midway, it is thought to be an hundred & fourscore miles. What can there be in any place under the heavens, that is not in this noble City, either to be bought or borrowed.  
It hath divers Hospitals for the relieving of the poor, sixscore fair Churches, for divine service, a glorious Burse which they call the Royal Exchange, for the meeting of Merchants of all countries, where any traffic is to be had. And among all the strange and beautiful shows▪ me thinketh there is none so notable, as the Bridge which crosseth the themes, which is in manner of a continual street, well replinished with large & stately houses on both sides, & situate upon twenty Arches, whereof each one is made of excellent free stone squared, every one of them being thrée-score foot in height, and full twenty in distance one from an other.  
To this place the whole Realm hath his recourse, whereby it seemeth so populous, that one would scarce think so many people to be in the whole Island, as he shall see sometimes in London.  
This maketh Gentlemen brave, and merchants rich, Citizens to purchase, and sojourns to mortgage, so that it is to be thought, that the greatest wealth and substance of the whole Realm is couched within the walls of London, where they that be rich keep it from those that be riotous, not detaining it from the lusty youths of England by rigour, but increasing it until young men shall savour of reason, wherein they show themselves Treasurers for others, not horders for themselves, yet although it be sure enough, would they had it, in my opinion, it were better to be in the Gentlemen's purse, then in the merchants hands.  
There are in this Isle two and twenty Bishops, which are as it were superentendauntes over the Church, men of great zeal, and deep knowledge, diligent Preachers of the word, earnest followers of their doctrine, careful watchmen that the Wolf devour not the Sheep, in civil government politic, in ruling the spiritual sword (as far as to them under their Prince appertaineth) just, cutting off those members from the Church by rigour, that are obstinate in their heresies, and instructing those that are ignorant, appointing godly and learned Ministers in every of their Seas, that in their absence may be lights to such as are in darkness, salt to those that are unsavozie, leaven to such as are not seasoned.  
Uisitations are holden oftentimes, whereby abuses and disorders, either in the laity for negligence, or in the clergy for superstition, or in all, for wicked living there are punishments, by due execution whereof, the divine service of God is honoured with more purity, and followed with greater senceritie.  
There are also in this Island two famous Universities, the one Oxford, the other Cambredge, both for the profession of all sciences, for Divinity, Physic, Law, and all kind of learning, excelling all the Universities in Christendom.  
I was myself in either of them, and like them both so well, that I mean not in the way of controversy to prefer any for the better in England, but both for the best in the world, saving this, that Colleges in Oxenford are much more stately for the building, & Cambridge much more sumptuous for the houses in the town, but the learning neither lieth in the free stones of the one, nor the fine streets of the other, for out of them both do daily proceed men of great wisdom, to rule in the common wealth, of learning to instruct the common people, of all singular kind of professions to do good to all. And let this suffice, not to inquire which of them is the superior, but that neither of them have their equal, neither to ask which of them is the most ancient, but whether any other be so famous.  
But to proceed in England, their buildings are not very stately, unless it be the houses of noble men & here and there, the place of a Gentleman, but much amended, as they report that have told me. For their munition they have not only great store, but also great running to use them, and courage to practise them, their armour is not unlike unto that which in other countries they use, as corselets, Almain Kivetts, shirts of male, jacks quilted, and covered over with Leather, Fustian or Canvas, over thick plates of iron, that are sowed in the same.  
The ordinance they have is great, and thereof great store.  
Their Navy is divided as it were into three sorts, of the which, the one serveth for wars, the other for burden, the third for fishermen. And some vessels there be (I know not by experience; & yet I believe by circumstance, that will sail nine hundred miles in a week, when I should scarce think that a bird could fly four hundred.  
Touching other commodities, they have four baths, the first called Saint Vincents, the second, Hallie well, the third, Buxton, the fourth (as in old time they read) Cair Bledud, but now taking his name of a town near adjoining, it is called the Bath.  
Besides this, many wonders there are to be found in this Island, which I will not repeat, because I myself never saw them, and you have heard of greater.  
Concerning their diet, in number of dishes & change of meat, the Nobility of England do exceed most, having all things that either may be bought for money, or gotten for the season: Gentlemen and merchants feed very finely, & a poor man it is, that dineth with one dish, and yet so content with a little, that having half dined, they say as it were in a Proverb, that they are as well satisfied as the Lord Mayor of London, whom they think to far best, though he eat not most.  
In their meals there is great silence and gravity, using wine rather to ease the stomarke, then to load it, not like unto other nations, who never think that they have dined till they be drunken.  
The attire they use, is rather led by the imitation of others, than their own invention, so that there is nothing in England more constant, than the inconstancy of attire, now using the French fashion, now the Spanish, than the Morisco gowns, than one thing, than another, insomuch that in drawing of an Englishman, the painter setteth him down naked, having in the one hand a pair of shears, in the other a piece of cloth, who having cut his choler after the French guise, is ready to make his sleeve after the Barbarian manner. And although this were the greatest enormity that I could see in England, yet is it to be excused, for they that cannot maintain this pride, must leave of necessity, and they that be able, will leave when they see the vanity.  
The laws they use are different from ours, for although the common and civil law be not abolished, yet are they not had in so great reputation as their own common laws which they term the laws of the Crown.  
The regiment that they have, dependeth upon statute law, & that is by Parliament, which is the highest court, consisting of three several sorts of people, the Nobility, Clergy, and Commons of the Realm, so as whatsoever be among them enacted, the Queen striketh the stroke, allowing such things, as to her Majesty seemeth best.  
Then upon common law, which standeth upon Maxims and principles, years and terms, the cases in this law are called pleas or actions, and they are either criminal or civil, the mean to determine are writs, some original, some judicial: Their trials & recoveries are either by verdict or demur, confession or default, wherein if any fault have been committed, either in process or form, matter or judgement, the party grieved may have a writ of error.  
Then upon customable law, which consisteth upon laudable customs, used in some private country.  
Last of all, upon prescription, which is a certain custom continued time out of mind, but it is more particular than their customary law.  
Murderers & thieves are hanged, witches burnt, all other villainies that deserve death, punished with death, insomuch that there are very few heinous offences practised, in respect of those that in other countries are commonly used.  
Of savage beasts and vermin they have no great store, nor any that are noisome, the cattle they keep for profit, are Oren, Horses, Sheep, Goats, & Swine, and such like, whereof they have abundance, wild foul & fish they want none, nor any thing that either may serve for pleasure or profit.  
They have more store of pasture then tillage, their meadows better than their corn fields, which maketh more grasiors, than Cornmongers, yet sufficient store of both.  
They excel for one thing, their Dogs of all sorts, spaniels, hounds, mastiffs, & divers such, that one they keep for hunting and hawking, the other for necessary uses about their houses, as to draw water, to watch thieves, etc. and thereof they derive the word Mastiff, of Mase and thief.  
There is in that Isle Salt made, & Saffron, there are great quarries of stones for building, sundry minerals of Quicksilver, Antimony, Sulphur, black Lead, and Orpiment red and yellow. Also there groweth the finest Alum that is, vermilion, Bittament, Chrisocolla, Coporus, the mineral stone whereof Petreolum is made, and that which is most strange, the mineral pearl, which as they are for greatness and colour most excellent, so are they digged out of the main land, in places far distant from the shore.  
Besides these, though not strange, yet necessary, they have Cole mines, salt Peter for ordinance, Salt Sode for Glass.  
They want no Tin nor Lead, there groweth Iron, Steel and Copper, & what not, so hath God blessed that country, as it should seem not only to have sufficient to serve their own turns, but also others necessities, whereof there was an old saying, All countries stand in need of Britain, and Britain of none.  
Their Air is very wholesome and pleasant, their civility not inferior to those that deserve best, their wits very sharp and quick, although I have heard that the Italian and the Frenchman have accounted them but gross and dull pated, which I think came not to pass by the proof, they made of their wits, but by the englishman's report. For this is strange (and yet how true it is there is none that ever travailed thither, but can report) that it is always incident to an Englishman to think worst of his own nation, either in learning, experience, common reason, or wit, preferring always a stranger rather for the name, than the wisdom. I for mine own part think, that in all Europe there are not Lawyers more learned, Divines more profound, Physicians more expert, than are in England.  
But that which most allureth a stranger, is their courtesy, their civility, & good entertainment, I speak this by experience, that I found more courtesy in England among those I never knew, in one year, than I have done in Athens or Italy among those I ever loved, in twenty.  
But having entreated sufficiently of the country, and their conditions, let me come to the glass I promised, being the Court, where although I should as order requireth begin with the chiefest, yet I am enforced with the Painter, to reserve my best colours to end Venus, and to lay the ground with the basest.  
First then I must tell you of the grave & wise Counsellors, whose foresight in peace, warranteth safety in war, whose provision in plenty, maketh sufficient in dearth, whose care in health, is as it were a preparative against sickness, how great their wisdom hath been in all things, the twenty two years peace doth both show and prove. For what subtlety hath there been wrought so closely, what privy attempts so craftily, what rebellions stirred up so disorderly, but they have by policy bewrayed, prevented by wisdom, repressed by justice? What conspiracies abroad, what confederacies at home, what injuries in any place hath there been contrived, the which they have not either foreseen before they could kindle, or quenched before they could flame?  
If any wily Ulysses should feign madness, there was among them always some Palamedes to reveal him, if any Thetis went about to keep her son from the doing of his country service, there was also a wise Ulysses in the court to bewray it: If Sinon came with a smooth tale to bring in the horse into Troy, there hath been always some courageous Lacaon to throw his spear against the bowels, which being not bewitched with Lacaon, hath unfolded that which Lacaon suspected.  
If Argus with his hundred eyes went prying to undermine jupiter, yet met he with Mercury, who whiselled all his eyes out: in-somuch as there could never yet any craft prevail against their policy, or any challenge against their courage. There hath always been Achilles at home, to buckle with Hector abroad, Nestor's gravity to countervail Priam's counsel, Ulysses subtleties to match with Antenois policies. England hath all those, that ran and have wrestled with all others, whereof we can require no greater proof than experience.  
Besides they have all a zealous care for the increasing of true religion, whose faiths for the most part hath been tried through the fire, which they had felt, had not they fled over the water. Moreover the great study they bend towards schools of learning, both sufficiently declare, that they are not only furtherers of learning, but fathers of the learned. O thrice happle England where such Counsellors are, where such people live, where such virtue springeth.  
Among these shall you find Zopirus that will mangle himself to do his country good, Atchates that will never start an inch from his Prince Aeneas, Nausicla that never wanted a shift in extremity, Cato that ever counseled to the best, Ptholomeus Philadelphus that always maintained learning. Among the number of all which noble and wise counsellors (I cannot but for his honour's sake remember) the most prudent and right honourable the Lord Burgleigh, high Treasurer of that Realm, no less reverenced for his wisdom, then renowned for his office, more loved at home then feared a broad, and yet more feared for his counsel among other nations, than sword or fire, in whom the saying of Agamemnun may be verified who rather wished for one such as Nestor, than many such as Ajax.  
This noble man I found so ready being but a stranger, to do me good, that neither I ought to forget him, neither cease to pray for him, that as he hath the wisdom of Nestor, so he may have the age, that having the policies of Ulysses, he may have his honour, worthy to live long, by whom so many live in quiet, and not unworthy to be advanced, by whose care so many have been preferred.  
Is not this a Glass fair Ladies for all other countries to behold, where there is not only an agreement in faith, religion, and counsel, but in friendship, brotherhood and living? By whose good endeavours vice is punished, virtue rewarded, peace established, foreign broils repressed, domestical rares appeased? what nation can of Counsellors desire more? what Dominion, that excepted, hath so much? when neither courage can prevail against their chivalry, nor craft take place against their counsel, nor both joined in one be of force to undermine their country, when you have dazzled your eyes with this Glass, behold here an other. It was my fortune to be acquainted with certain English Gentlemen, which brought me to the court, where when I came, I was driven into a maze to behold the lusty and brave gallants, the beautiful and chaste Ladies, the rare & godly orders, so as I could not tell whether I should most commend virtue or bravery. At the last coming oftener thither then it beseemed one of my degree, yet not so often as they desired my company, I began to pry after their manners, natures, and lives, and that which followeth I saw, whereof who so doubteth I will swear.  
The Ladies spend the morning in devout prayer, not resembling the Gentle women in Greece and Italy, who begin their morning at mid-noon, and make their evening at midnight, using ●onets for Psalms, and pastimes for prayers, reading the Epistle of a lover, when they should peruse the Gospel of our Lord, drawing wanton lines when death is before their face, as Archimedes did triangles and circles when the enemy was at his back. Behold Ladies in this glass, that the service of God is to be preferred before all things, imitate the English Damoselles, who have their books tied to their girdles, not feathers, who are as cunning in the scriptures, as you are in Ariosto or Petrack or any book that liketh you best, and becometh you worst.  
For bravery I cannot say that you crcéede them, for certainly it is the most gargeoust court that ever I have seen, read, or heard of, but yet do they not use their apparel so nicely as you in Italy, who think scorn 〈◊〉 kneel at service, for fear of wrinchless in your 〈◊〉, who dare not lift up your head to heaven, for ●eare of ●umpling the rufs in your neck, yet your hands indefesse are holden up, rather I think to she i● your rings, I then to manifest your righteousness. The bravery they use is for the honour of their Prince, 〈…〉 you wear for the alluring of your prey, the ri●●h apparel maketh their beauty more seen, your 〈◊〉 causeth your faces to be more suspected, they ●●●●mble in their raiment the Ostrich who being gazed on▪ closeth her wings and hideth her feathers, you in your robes are not unlike the pococ●e, who being praised spreadeth her fail and bewrayeth her pride. ●elueltes and Silks in them are like gold about a pure Diamond, in you like a green hedge, about a filthy dunghill. Think not Ladies that because you are decked with gold, you are endued with grace, imagine not that shining like the Sun in earth, yea shall climb the Sun in heaven, look diligently into this English glass, and then shall you see that the more costly your apparel is, the greater your courtesy should be, that you ought to be as far from pride, as you are from poverty, and as near to princes in beauty, as you are in brightness. Because you are brave, disdain not those that are base, think with yourselves that russet coats have their Christendom, that the Sun when he is at his height shineth as well upon course kersey, as clothe of tissue, though you have pearls in your ears, jewels in your breasts, precious stones on your fingers, yet disdain not the stones in the street, which although they are nothing so noble, yet are they much more necessary. Let not your robes hinder your devotion, learn of the English Ladies, that God is worthy to be worshipped with the most price, to whom you ought to give all praise, then shall you be like stars to the wise, who now are but staring stocks to the foolish, then shall you be praised of most, who are now pointed at of all, then shall God bear with your folly, who now abhorreth your pride.  
As the Ladies in this blessed Island are devout and brave, so are they chaste and beautiful, insomuch that when I first beheld them, I could not tell whether some mist had bleared mine eyes, or some strange enchantment altered my mind, for it may be, thought I, that in this Island, either some Artimedorus or Lisimandro, or some odd Necromancer did inhabit, who would she we me Fairies, or the body of Helen, or the new shape of Venus, but coming to myself, and seeing that my senses were not changed, but hindered, that the place where I stood was no enchanted castle, but a gallant court, I could scarce restrain my voice from crying, There is no beauty but in England.  
There did I behold them of pure complexion, exceeding the lily and the Rose, of favour (wherein the chiefest beauty consisteth) surpassing the pictures that were feigned, or the Magician that would feign, their eyes piercing like the Sun beams, yet chaste: their speech pleasant and sweet, yet modest & courteous, their gate comely, their bodies straight, their hands white, all things that man could wish, or women would have: which how much it is, none can set down, when as the one desireth as much as may be, the other more. And to these beautiful moulds, chaste minds: to these comely bodies, temperance, modesty, mildness, sobriety: whom I often beheld merry, yet wise: conferring with courtiers, yet warily: drinking of wine, yet moderately: eating of delicates, yet but their ear full: listening to discourses of love, but not without reasoning of learning: for there it more delighteth them to talk of Robinhoode, than to shoot in his bow, & greater pleasure they take to hear of love, than to be in love.  
Here Ladies is a Glass, that will make you blush for shame, and look wan for anger, their beauty cometh by Nature, yours by Art: they increase their favours with fair water, you maintain yours with painters colours, the hair they lay out groweth upon their own heads, your séemelynesse hangeth upon others: theirs is always in their own keeping, yours often in the Dyars: their beauty is not lost with a sharp blast, yours fadeth with a soft breath: Not unlike unto Paper flowers, which break as soon as they are touched, resembling the birds in Egypt called Ibes, who being handled, lose their feathers, or the serpent Serapie, which being but touched with a brake bursteth. They use their beauty, because it is commendable, you, because you would be common: they, if they have little, do not seek to make it more, you that have none, endeavour to bespeak most: if theirs wither by age, they nothing esteem it, if yours waste by years, you go about to keep it: they know that beauty must fail, if life continue, you swear that it shall not fade if colours last.  
But to what end (Ladies) do you alter the gifts of Nature, by the shifts of Art? Is there no colour good, but white, no Planet bright but Venus, no Linen fair but Lawn? Why go you about to make the face fair by those means that are most foul, a thing loathsome to man and therefore not lovely, horrible before God, and therefore not lawful.  
Have you not heard, that the beauty of the Cradel is most brightest, that paintings are for Pictures without sense, not for persons with true reason. Fellow at the last Ladies the Gentlewomen of England, who being beautiful, do those things as shall become so amiable faces, if of an indifferent hue, those things as shall make them lovely, not adding an ounce to beauty, that may detract a dram from virtue. Besides this, their chastity and temperance is as rare, as their beauty, not going in your footsteps, that drink wins before you rise to increase your colour, and swill it when you are up, to provoke your lust: They use their needle to banish idleness, not the pen to nourish it, not spending their times in answering the letters of those that woo them, but forswearing the company of those that writ them, giving no occasion either by wanton looks, unseemly gestures, unadvised speech, or any uncomely behaviour of lightness or liking. Contrary to the custom of many countries, whers filthy words are accounted to savour of a fine wit, broad speech of a bold courage, wanton glances, of a sharp eye sight, wicked deeds, of a comely gesture, all vain delights of a right courteous courtesy.  
And yet are they not in England precise, but wary: not disdainful to confer, but fearful to offend: not without remorse where they perceive truth, but without replying, where they suspect treachery, when as among other Nations, there is no tale so loathsome to chaste ears, but it is heard with great sport, and answered with great speed.  
Is it not then a shame (Ladies) that that little Island should be a mirror to you, to Europe, to the whole world?  
Where is the temperance you profess, when wine is more common, than water? where the chastitic, when lust is thought lawful? where the modesty, when your mirth turneth to uncleanness, uncleanness, to shamelessness, shamelessness to all sinfulness? Learn Ladies though late, yet at length, that the chiefest title of honour in earth, is to give all honour to him that is in Heaven, that the greatest bravery in this world, is to be burning Lamps in the world to come, that the clearest beauty, in this life, is to be amiable to him that shall give life eternal▪ Look in the Glass of England, too bright I fear me for your eyes. What is there in your sex, that they have not, and what that you should not have?  
They are in prayer devout, in bravery humble, in beauty chaste, in feasting temperate, in affection wise, in mirth modest, in all their actions though courtly, because women, yet angels, because virtuous.  
Ah (good Ladies) good, I say, for that I love you, I would you could a little abate that pride of your stomachs, that looseness of mind, that licentious behaviour which I have seen in you, with no small sorrow, & cannot remedy with continual sighs.  
They in England pray when you play, sow when you sleep, fast, when you feast, and weep for their sins, when you laugh at your sensuality.  
They frequent the church to serve God, you to see gallants, they deck themselves for cleanliness, you for pride, they maintain their beauty, for their own liking, you for others lust, they refrain Wine, because they fear to take too much, you because you can take no more. Come Ladies, with tears I call you, look in this glass, repent your sins past, refrain your present vices, abhor vanities to come, say this with one voice. We can see our faults only in the English Glass: a Glass of grace to them, of grief to you: to them in steed of righteousness, to you in place of repentance.  
The Lords and Gentlemen, in that court, are also an example for all others to follow, true types of Nobility, the only stay and staff of honour, brave courtiers, stout soldiers, apt to revel in peace, and ride in ware. In fight fierce, not dreading death, in friendship firm, not breaking promise, courteous to all that deserve well, cruel to none, that deserve ill. Their adversaries they trust not, that showeth their wisdom, their enemies they fear not, that argueth their courage. They are not apt to proffer injuries, nor fit to take any: loath to pick quarrels, but longing to revenge them.  
Active they are in all things, whether it be to wrestle in the games of Olympia, or to fight at Barriers in Palestra, able to carry as great burdens as Milo, of strength to throw as big stones as Turnus, and what not, that either man hath done, or may do, worthy of such Ladies, and none but they, and Ladies willing to have such Lords, and none but such.  
This is a Glass for our youth in Greece, for your young ones in Italy, the English glass, behold it Ladies and Lords all, that either mean to have piety, use braveric, increase beauty, or that desire temperancy, chastity, wit, wisdom, valour, or any thing that may delight yourselves, or deserve praise of others.  
But an other sight there is in my Glass, which maketh me sigh for grief I cannot show it, and yet had I rather offend in derogating from my Glass, than my good will.  
Blessed is that Land, that hath all commodities to increase the common wealth, happy is that Island that hath wise counsellors to maintain it, virtuous courtiers to beautify it, noble Gentlemen to advance it, but to have such a Prince to govern it, as is their Sovereign Queen, I know not whether I should think the people to be more fortunate, or the Prince famous, whether their felicity be more to be had in admiration, that have such a ruler, or her virtues to be honoured, that hath such royalty: for such is their estate there, that I am enforced to think, that every day is as lucky to the Englishmen, as the sixth day of February hath been to the Grecians.  
But I see you gaze until I show this Glass, which you having once seen, will make you giddy: Oh Ladies I know not when to begin, nor where to end: for the more I go about to express the brightness, the more I find mine eyes bleared, the nearer I desire to come to it, the farther I seem from it, not unlike unto Simonides, who being curious to set down what God was, the more leisure he took, the more loath he was to meddle saying that in things above reach, it was easy to catch a strain, but impossible to touch a Star: and therefore scarce tolerable to point at that, which one can never pull at. When Alexander had commanded that none should paint him but Appelles, none carve him but Lysippus, none engrave him but Pirgoteles, Parrhasius, framed a Table squared, every way two hundredth foot, which in the borders he trimmed with fresh colours, and limmed with fine gold, leaving all the other room without knot or line, which table he presented to Alexander, who no less marveling at the bigness, then at the bareness demanded to what end he gave him a frame without face, being so naked, and without fashion being so great. Parrhasius, answered him, let it be lawful for Parrhasius, O Alexander to show a Table wherein he would paint Alexander, if it were not unlawful, and for others to square Timber, though Lysippus carve it, and for all to cast brass though Pirgoteles engrave it. Alexander perceiving the good mind of Parrhasius, pardoned his boldness, and preferred his art: yet inquiring why he framed the table so big, he answered that he thought that frame to be but little enough for his picture, when the whole world was to little for his person, saying that Alexander must as well be praised as painted, and that all his victories and virtues were not for to be drawn in the compass of a Signet, but in a field.  
This answer Alexander both liked and rewarded, insomuch that it was lawful ever after for Parrhasius both to praise that noble king and to paint him.  
In the like manner I hope, that though it be not requisite that any should paint their Prince in England that cannot sufficiently perfect her, yet it shall not be thought rashness or rudeness for Euphues to frame a table for Elizabeth, though he presume not to paint her. Let Appelles show his fine Art, Euphues will manifest his faithful heart, the one can but prove his conceit to blaze his cunning, the other his good will to grind his colours: he that whetteth the tools is not to be misliked, though he cannot carve the Image, the worm that spinneth the silk, is to be esteemed, though she cannot work the sampler, they that fell timber for ships are not to be blamed, because they cannot build ships.  
He that carrieth mortar furthereth the building, though he be no expert Mason, he that diggeth the garden, is to be considered, though he cannot tread the knots, the Goldsmiths boy must have his wages for blowing the fire, though he cannot fashion the jewel.  
Then Ladies I hope poor Euphues shall not be reviled, though he deserve not to be rewarded.  
I will set down this Elizabeth, as near as I can: And it may be, that as the Venus of Appelles, not finished, the Tindarides of Nichomachus not ended, the Medea of Timomachus not perfected, the Table of Parrhasius not coloured, brought greater desire to them to consummate them & to others to see them: so the Elizabeth of Euphues, being but shadowed for others to varnish, but begun for others to end, but drawn with a black coal, for others to blaze with a bright colour, may work either a desire in Euphues hereafter if he live, to end it, or a mind in those that are better able to amend it, or in all (if none can work it) a will to wish it. In the mean season I say as Zeuxis did when he had drawn the picture of Atalanta, more will envy me then imitate me, and not commend it though they cannot amend it. But I come to my England.  
There were for a long time civil wars in this country, by reason of several claims to the Crown, between the two famous and noble houses of Lancaster and York, either of them pretending to be of the royal blood, which caused them both to spend their victual blood, these jars continued long, not without great loss, both to the Nobility and Eommunaltie, who joining not in one, but divers parts, turned the Realm to great ruin, having almost destroyed their country before they could anoint a king.  
But the living God who was loath to oppress England, at last began to repress injuries, & to give an end by mercy, to those that could find no end of malice, nor look for any end of mischief. So tender a care hath he always had of that England, as of a new Israel, his chosen and peculiar people.  
This peace began by a marriage solemnized by God's special providence, between Henry Earl of Ritchmond heir of the house of Lancaster▪ and Elizabeth daughter to Edward the fourth, the undoubted issue and heir of the house of York, whereby (as they term it) the red Rose and the white, were united and joined together. Out of these Roses sprang two noble buds, Prince Arthur and Henry, the eldest dying without issue, the other of most famous memory, leaving behind him three children, Prince Edward, the Lady Marie, the Lady Elyzabeth. King Edward lived not long, which could never for that Realm have lived too long, but sharp frosts bite forward springs, Easterly winds blasteth towardly blossoms, cruel death spareth not those, which we ourselves living cannot spare.  
The elder sister the Prince's Marie, succeeded as next heir to the crown, and as it chanced next heir to the grave, touching whose life, I can say little because I was scarce borne, and what others say, of me shall be forborn.  
This Queen being diseased, Elyzabeth being of the age of xxii. years, of more beauty than honour, and yet of more honour than any earthly creature, was called from a prisoner to be a Prince, from the castle to the crown, from the fear of losing her head, to be supreme head. And here Ladies it may be you will move a question, why this noble Lady was either in danger of death, or cause of distress, which had you thought to have passed in silence, I would notwithstanding have revealed.  
This Lady all the time of her sister's reign was kept close, as one that tendered not those proceedings, which were contrary to her conscience, who having divers enemies, endured many crosses, but so patiently as in her deepest sorrow, she would rather sigh for the liberty of the gospel, than her own freedom. Suffering her inferiors to triumph over her, her foes to threaten her, her dissembling friends to undermine her, learning in all this misery only the patience that Zeno taught Eretricus to bear and forbear, never seeking revenge, but with good Lycurgus, to lose her own eye, rather than to hurt an others eye.  
But being now placed in the seat royal, she first of all established religion, banished Popery, advanced the word, that before was so much defaced, who having in her hand the sword to revenge, used rather bountifully to reward: being as far from rigour when she might have killed, as her enemies were from honesty, when they could not, giving a general pardon, when she had cause to use particular punishments, preferring the name of pity, before the remembrance of perils, thinking no revenge more princely, than to spare when she might spill, to stay when she might strike, to proffer to save with mercy, when she might have destroyed with justice.  
Here is the clemency worthy commendation & admiration, nothing inferior to the gentle disposition of Aristides, who after his exile did not so much as note them, that banished him, saying with Alexander, that there can be nothing more noble, then to do well to those, that deserve ill.  
This mighty and merciful Queen, having many bills of private persons that sought before time to betray her, burned them all, resembling julius Caesar, who being presented with the like complaints of his Commons, threw them into the fire, saying: that he had rather not know the names of Rebels, than have occasion to revenge, thinking it better to be ignorant of those that hated him, than to be angry with them.  
This clemency did her Majesty not only show at her coming to the crown, but also throughout her whole government, when she hath spared to shed their bloods, that sought to spill hers, not racking the Laws to extremity, but mitigating the rigour with mercy, insomuch as it may be said of the royal Monarch as it was of Antonius, surnamed the godly Emperor, who reigned many years without the effusion of blood. What greater virtue can there be in a prince than mercy, what greater praise than to abate the edge which she should whet, to pardon where she should punish, to reward where she should revenge.  
I myself being in England, when her Majesty was for her recreation in her Barge upon the Thames, hard of a Gun that was shot off, though of the party unwittingly, yet to her noble person dangerously, which fact she most graciously pardoned, accepting a just excuse before a great amends, taking more grief for her poor Bargeman, that was a little hurt, than care for herself, that stood in greatest hazard: O rare example of pity, O singular spectacle of piety.  
divers besides have there been: which by private conspiracies, open rebellions, close wiles, cruel witchcrafts, have sought to end her life, which saveth all their lives, whose practices by the divine providence of the almighty, have ever been disclosed, insomuch that he hath kept her safe in the Whales belly, when her subjects went about to throw her into the Sea, preserved her in i hot Oven, when her enemies increased the fire, not suffering a hair to fall from her, much less any harm to fasten upon her.  
These injuries and treasons of her subjects, these policies and undermining of foreign Nations, so little moved her, that she would often say: Let them know, that though it be not lawful for them to speak what they list, yet is it lawful for us to do with them what we list, being always of that merciful mind, which was in Theodosius, who wished rather, that he might call the dead to life, than put the living to death, saying with Augustus, when she should set her hand to any condemnation, I would to God we could not write. Infinite were the ensamples, that might be alleged, & almost incredible, whereby she hath showed herself a Lamb in meekness, when●she had cause to be a Lion in might, proved a Dove in favour, when she was provoked to be an Eagle in fierceness, requiting injuries with benefits, revenging grudges with gifts, in highest Majesty bearing the lowest mind, forgiving all that sued for mercy, and forgetting all that deserved justice, O divine Nature, O heavenly nobilitic, what thing can there be more required in a Prince, then in greatest power to show greatest patience, in chiefest glory to bring forth chiefest grace, in abundance of all earthly pomp, to manifest abundance of all heavenly piety? O fortunate England, that hath such a Queen, ungrateful if thou pray not for her, wicked if thou do not love her, miserable, if thou lose her.  
Here Ladies is a Glass for all Princes to behold, that being called to dignity, they use moderation, not might, tempering the severity of the Laws with the mildness of love, not executing all they will, but showing what they may. Happy are they, and only they that are under this glorious and gracious Sovereignty: insomuch, that I account all those abjects, that be not her subjects.  
But why do I tread still in one path, when I have so large a field to walk, or linger about one flower, when I have many to gather: wherein I resemble those, that being delighted with the little brook, neglect the fountains head, or that painter, that being curious to colour Cupid's bow, forgot to paint the string.  
As this noble Prince is endued with mercy, patience, and moderation, so is she adorned with singular beauty, and chastity, excelling in the one Venus, in the other Vesta. Who knoweth not how rare a thing it is (Ladies) to match virginity with beauty, a chaste mind with an amiable face, divine cogitations with a comely countenance? But such is the grace bestowed upon this Earthly Goddess, that having the beauty that might allure all Princes, she hath the chastity also to refuse all, accounting it no less praise to be called a Virgin, than to be esteemed a Venus, thinking it as great honour to be found chaste, as thought amiable.  
Where is now Electra, the chaste Daughter of Agamemnon? Where is Lala that renowned Virgin? Where is Aemilia, that through her chastity wrought wonders, in maintaining continual fire at the Altar of Vesta?  
Where is Claudia, that to manifest her virginity, set the ship on float with her finger, that multitudes could not remove by force? Where is Tuscia, one of the same order, that brought to pass no less marvels by carrying water in a siue, not shedding one drop from Tiber to the Temple of Vesta? If virginity have such force, than what hath this chaste Virgin Elizabeth done, who by the space of twenty and odd years, with continual peace against all policies, with sundry miracles contrary to all hope, hath governed that noble Island. Against whom neither foreign force, nor civil fraud, neither discord at home, nor conspiracies abroad could prevail.  
What greater marvel hath happened since the beginning of the world, than for a young and tender Maiden to govern strong and valiant men, than for a Virgin, to make the whole world, if not to stand in awe of her, yet to honour her, yea, & to live in spite of all those that spite her, with her sword in the sheath, with her armour in the Tower, with her soldiers in their gowns, insomuch as her peace may be called more blessed, than the quiet reign of Numa Pompilius, in whose government the Bees have made their Hives in the Soldiers Helmets.  
Now is the Temple of janus removed from Rome, to England, whose door hath not been opened this twenty years, more to be merualed at, than the regiment of Deborah, who ruled twenty years with Religion, or Semiriamis that governed long with power, or Zenobia, that reigned six years in prosperity.  
This is the only miracle that virginity ever wrought, for a little Island environed round about with wars, to stand in peace, for the walls of France to burn, and the houses of England to freeze, for all other nations either with cruel sword to be divided, or with foreign foes to be invaded, and that country neither to be molested with broils in their own bosoms, nor threatened with blasts of other borderers: But always though not laughing, yet looking through an Emeraud at others jars.  
Their fields have been sown with corn, strangers theirs pitched with Camps, they have their men reaping their harvest, when others are mustering in their harness, they use their pieces to fowl for pleasure, others their Calivers for fear of peril.  
O blessed peace, oh happy Prince, O fortunate people: The living God is only the English God, where he hath placed peace, which bringeth all plenty, anointed a Virgin Queen, which with a wand ruleth her own subjects, and with her worthiness, winneth the good wills of strangers, so that she is no less gracious among her own, then glorious to others, no less loved of her people, than marveled at of other nations.  
This is the blessing that Christ always gave to his people, peace: This is the curse that he giveth to the wicked, there shallbe no peace to the ungodly: This was the only salutation he used to his Disciples, peace be unto you: And therefore is he called the God of love, and peace, in holy writ.  
In peace was the Temple of the Lord built by Solomon, Christ would not be borne, until there were peace throughout the whole world, this was the only thing that Esechias prayed for, let there be truth and peace, O Lord in my days. All which examples do manifestly prove, that there can be nothing given of god to man more notable than peace.  
This peace hath the Lord continued with great and unspeakable goodness among his chosen people of England. How much is that nation bound to such a Prince, by whom they enjoy all benefits of peace, having their barns full, when others fami●●, their Coffers stuffed with gold, when others have no silver, their wives without danger, when others are defamed, their daughters chaste when others are deflowered, their houses furnished when others are fired, where they have all things for superfluity, others nothing to sustain their need. This peace hath GOD given for her virtues, pity, moderation, virginity, which peace, the same GOD of peace continue for his name's sake.  
TOuching the beauty of this Prince, her countenance, her parsonage, her majesty, I cannot think that it may be sufficiently commended, when it cannot be too much marveled at: So that I am constrained to say as Praxitiles did when he began to paint Venus and her son, who doubted, whether the world could afford colours good enough for two such fair faces, and I whether our tongue can yield words to blaze that beauty, the perfection whereof none can imagine, which seeing it is so, I must do like those that want a clear sight, who being not able to discern the Sun in the Sky, are enforced to behold it in the water, Zeuxis having before him fifty fair virgins of Sparta whereby to draw one amiable Venus, said, that fifty more fairer than those could not minister sufficient beauty to show the goddsse of beauty, therefore being in despair either by Art to shadow her, or by imagination to comprehend her, he drew in a table a fair Temple, the gates open, and Venus going in, so as nothing could be perceived but her back, wherein he used such cunning, that Appelles himself seeing this work, wished that Venus would turn her face, saying, that if it were in all parts agreeable to the back, he would become apprentice to Zeuxis, and slave to Venus. In the like manner fareth it with me, for having all the Ladies in italy more than fifty hundred, whereby to colour Elizabeth, I must say with Zeuxis, that as many more will not suffice, and therefore in as great an agony paint her court with her back towards you, for that I cannot by art portray her beauty, where in though I want the skill to do it as Zeuxis did, yet viewing it narrowly and comparing it wisely, you all will say that if her face be answerable to her back, you will like my handicrafte, and become her handmaids. In the mean season I leave you gazing, until she turn her face, imagining her to be such a one as nature framed, to that end that no art should imitate, wherein she hath proved herself to be exquisite, and Painters to be Apes.  
This Beautiful mould when I beheld to be endued with chastity, temperance, mildness, and all other good gifts of Nature (as hereafter shall appear) when I saw her to surpass all in beauty, and yet a Virgin, to excel all in piety and yet a Prince, to be inferior to none in all the lineaments of the body, and yet superior to every one in all gifts of the mind, I began thus to pray, that as she hath lived forty years a virgin in great majesty, so she may live fourscore years a mother, with great joy, that as with her we have long time had peace and plenty, so by her we may ever have quietness and abundance, wishing this even from the bottom of a heart that wisheth well to England, though feareth ill, that either the world may end before she die, or she live to see her children's children in the world: otherwise haw tickle their state is that now triumph, upon what a twist they hang that now are in honour, they that live shall see, which I to think on, sigh. But God for his mercy's sake, Christ for his merits sake, the holy Ghost for his name's sake, grant to that realm, comefort without any ill chance, and the Prince they have without any other change, that the longer she liveth the sweeter she may smell, like the bird Ibis, that she may be triumphant in victories like the Palm tree, fruitful in her age like the vine, in all ages prosperous, to all men gracious, in all places glorious: so that there be no end of her praise until the end of all flesh.  
Thus did I often talk with myself, and wish with mine whole soul.  
What should I talk of her sharp wit, excellent wisdom, exquisite learning, and all other qualities of the mind, wherein she seemeth as far to excel those that have been accounted singular, as the learned have surpassed those, that have been thought simple.  
In questioning not inferior to Nicaulia the Queen of Saba, that did put so many hard doubts to Solomon, equal to Nicostrata in the Greek tongue, who was thought to give precepts for the better perfection: more learned in the Latin their Amalasunta: passing Aspasia in philosophy, who taught Pericles: exceeding in judgement Themistoclea, who instructed Pythagoras, add to these qualities, those, that none of these hadd●, the French tongue, the Spanish, the italian, not mean in every one, but excellent in all, readier to correct escapes in those languages, then to be controlled, fit to teach others then learn of any, more able to add new rules, then to err in the old: Insomuch as there is no Ambassador, that cometh into her court, but she is willing and able both to understand his message, & utter her mind, not like unto the kings of Assiria, who answer Ambassades by messengers, while they themselves either dally in sin, or snort in sleep. Her Godly zeal to learning, with her great skill, hath been so manifestly approved, that I cannot tell whether she deserve more honour for her knowledge, or admiration for her courtesy, who in great pomp, hath twice directed her Progress, unto the Universities, with no less joy to the Students, than glory to her State, where after long and solemn disputations in Law, Physic, and Divinity, not as one wearied with scholars arguments, but wedded to their Orations, when every one feared to offend in length, she in her own person, with no less praise to her Majesty, than delight to her subjects, with a wise and learned conclusion, both gave them thanks and put herself to pains.  
O noble pattern of a Princely mind, not like to the Kings of Persia, who in their progresses, did nothing else but cut sticks to drive away the time, nor like the delicate lives of the Sybarites, who would not admit any Art to be exercised within their City, that might make the least noise. Her wit so sharp, that if I should repeat the apt answers, the subtle questions, the fine speeches, the pithy sentences, which on the sudden she hath uttered, they would rather breed admiration than credit.  
But such are the gifts that the living God hath endued her withal, that look in what Art or Language, wit or learning, virtue or beauty, any one hath particularly excelled most, she only hath generally exceeded every one in all, insomuch that there is nothing to be added, that either man would wish in a woman, or God doth give to a creature.  
I let pass her skill in Music, her knowledge in all the other sciences, when as I fear least by my simplicity I should make them less than they are, in seeking to show how great they are, unless I were praising her in the gallery of Olympia, where giving forth one word, I might hear seven.  
But all these graces, although they be to be wondered at, yet her politic government, her prudent counsel, her zeal to Religion, her clemency to those that submit, her stoutness to those that threaten, so far exceed all other virtues, that they are more easy to be marveled at, then imitated.  
Two and twenty years hath she borne the sword with such justice, that neither offenders could complain of rigour, nor the innocent of wrong, yet so tempered with mercy, as malefactors have been sometimes pardoned upon hope of grace, & the injuried requitted to ease their grief, insomuch that in the whole course of her glorious reign, it could never be said, that either the poor were oppressed without remedy, or the guilty repressed without cause, bearing this engraven in her noble heart, that justice without mercy were extreme injury, and pity without equity plain partiality, & that it is as great tyranny not to mitigate Laws, as iniquity to break them.  
Her care for the flourishing of the Gospel hath well appeared, when as neither the curses of the Pope, (which are blessings to good people) nor the threatenings of Kings, (which are perilous to a Prince) nor the persuasions of Papists, (which are honey to the mouth) could either fear her, or allure her, to violate the holy league contracted with Christ, or to maculate the blood of the ancient Lamb, which is Christ. But always constant in the true faith, she hath to the exceeding joy of her subjects, to the unspeakable comfort of her soul, to the great glory of God, established that Religion, the maintenance whereof, she rather seeketh to confirm by fortitude, than leave off for fear, knowing that there is nothing that smelleth sweeter to the Lord, than a sound spirit, which neither the hosts of the ungodly, nor the horror of death, can either remove, or move.  
This Gospel with invincible courage, with rare constancy, with hot zeal, she hath maintained in her own countries with out change, and defended against all Kingdoms that sought change, insomuch that all Nations round about her threatening alteration, shaking sword throwing fire, menacing famine, murder, destruction, desolation, she only hath stood, like a Lamp, on the top of a hill, not fearing the blasts of the sharp winds, but trusting in his providence, that rideth upon the wings of the four Winds. Next followeth the love she beareth to her subjects, who no less tendereth them, than the apple of her own eye, she wing herself a Mother to the afflicted, a Physician to the sick, a Sovereign and mild Governess to all.  
Touching her Magnanimity, her Majesty, her Estate royal, there was neither Alexander nor Galba the Emperor, nor any that might be compared with her.  
This is she that resembling the noble Queen of Navarr, useth the Marigold for her flower, which at the rising of the Sun, openeth her leaves, & at the setting shutteth them, referring all her actions and endeavours, to him that ruleth the Sun. This is that Caesar that first bond the Crocodile to the palm tree, bridling those that sought to rain her: This is that good Pellycan, that to feed her people spareth not to rend her own person: This is that mighty Eagle, that hath thrown dust into the eyes of the heart, that went about to work destruction to her subjects, into whose wings although the blind beetle would have crept, and so being carried into her Nest, destroyed her young ones, yet hath she with the virtue of her feathers, consumed that fly in his own fraud.  
She hath exiled the Swallow that sought to spoil the grasshopper, and given bitter Almonds to the ravenous Wolves, that endeavoured to devour the silly Lambs, burning even with the breath of her mouth like the Princely Stag, the Serpents that were engendered by the breath of the huge Elephant, so that now all her enemies are as whist as the Bird Attagen, who never singeth any tune after she is taken, nor they being so overtaken.  
But whether do I wade Lad●●● as one forgetting himself, thinking to sound the depth of her virtues with a few fathoms, when there is no bottom: For I know nothow it cometh to pass, that being in this Labyrinth, I may sooner lose myself, then find the end.  
Behold Ladies in this Glass, a Queen, a Woman, a Virgin, in all gifts of the body, in all graces of the mind, in all perfection of either, so far to excel all men, that I know not whether I may think the place too bad for her to dwell among men.  
To talk of other things in that Court, were to bring Eggs after Apples, or after the setting out of the Sun, to tell a tale of a shadow. But this I say, that all Offices are looked too with great care, that virtue is embraced of all, vice hated, Religion daily increased, manners reform, that who so seeth the Place there, will think it rather a Church for divine service, than a court for Princes delight.  
This is the Glass Ladies, wherein I would have you gaze, wherein I took my whole delight, imitate the Ladies in England, amend your manners, rub out the wrinkles of the mind, and be not curious about the weams in the face. As for their Elizabeth, ●ith you can neither sufficiently marvel at her, nor I praise her, let us all prey for her, which is the only duty we can perform, and the greatest that we can proffer.  
Yours to command. Euphues▪   


¶ JOVIS ELIZABETH.  
PAllas, juno, Venus, cum Nympham numine plenam  
Spectarunt, nostra haec, quaeque triumphat, erit.  
Contendunt avidè, sic tandem regia juno,  
Est mea, de magnis stemma petiui● avis.  
Hoc leave, (nec sperno tantorum insignia patrum)  
Ingenio pollet, dos mea, Pallas ait.  
Dulce Venus risit, vultusque in lumina fixit,  
Hec mea dixit erit, nam quod ametur habet.  
judicio Paraidis, cum sit praelata venustas:  
Ingenium Pallas? juno quid urgit avos?  
Haec Venus: impatiens veteris Saturnia damni,  
Arbiter in coelis, non Paris, inquit erit.  
Intumuit Pallas numquam passura priorem,  
Priamides Helenam, dixit adulter amet.  
Risit, & erubuit, mixto Cytherea colore,  
judicium dixit jupiter ipse ferat.  
Assensere, iovem, compellant vocibus ultro,  
Incipit affari regia Iuno iovem.  
jupiter, Elizabeth vestras si venit ad aures,  
(Quam certe omnino coelica turba stupent)  
Hanc propriam, & merito sem●●r vult esse Monarcham,  
Quaeque suam, namque est pulchra, deserta, potens.  
Quod pulchra, est Veneris, quod polleat arte, Mineruae,  
Quod Princeps, Nympham quis neget esse meam?  
Arbiter istius, modo vis, certaminis esto,  
Sin minus, est nullum lis habitura modum.  
Obst●pet Omnipotens, durum est quod pos●stic, in quit,  
Est tamen arbitrio res peragenda meo.  
Tu foror & coniux juno, tu filia Pallas,  
Es quoque quid simulem? ter mihi chara Venus.  
Non tua da veniam juno, nec Palsadis illa est,  
Nec Veneris, credas hoc licet alma Venus▪  
Haec juno, haec Pallas, Venus haec, & quaeque; Dearum,  
Divisum Elizabeth cum jove numen habet.  
Ergo quid obstrepitis? frustra contenditis inquit,  
Vltima vox haec est, Elizabetha mea est.   
Euphues.  
Es iovis Elizabeth, nec quid jove maius habendum,  
Et jove teste iovi est, juno, Minerva, Venus.   

THese Verses Euphues sent also under his Glass, which having once finished, he gave himself to his book, determining to end his life in Athens, although he had a months mind to England, who at all times, and in all companies, was no niggard of his good speech to that nation, as one willing to live in that Court, and wedded to the manners of that country.  
It chanced that being in Athens not passing one quarter of a year, he received letters out of England, from Phylautus, which I thought necessary also to insert, that I might give some end to the matters in England, which at Euphues departure were but rawly left. And thus they follow.  
Phylautus to his own Euphues.  
I Have oftentimes Euphues since the departure complained of the distance of place, that I am so far from thee, of the length of time that I could not hear of thee, of the spite of Fortune, that I might not send to thee, but time at length, and not too late, because at last hath recompensed the injuries of all, offering me both a convenient messenger by whom to send, and strange news whereof to write.  
Thou knowest how froward matters went, when thou tookest ship, and thou wouldst marvel to hear how forward they were before thou strokest sail, for I had not been long in London, sure I am thou-wast not then at Athens, when as the cornewhich was green in the blade began to war ripe in the ear, when the seed which I scarce thought to have taken root, began to spring, when the love of Surius which hardly I would have guessed to have a blossom, showed a bud. But so unkind a year it hath been in England, that we felt the heat of the Summer, before we could discern the temperature of the spring, insomuch that we were ready to make Hay before we could mow grass, having in effect the joes of may, before the kalends of March, which seeing it is so forward in these things, I marveled the less to see it so ready in matters of love, where oftentimes they clap hands before they know the bargain, and seal the Dbligation, before they read the condition.  
At my being in the house of Camilla, it happened I found Surius accompanied with two knights, and the Lady Flavia with three other Ladies, I drew back as one somewhat shamefast, when I was willed to draw near, as one that was wished for. Who thinking of nothing less than to hear a contract for marriage, where I only expected a conceit of mirth. I suddenly yet solemnly, heard those words of assurance between Surius and Camilla, in the which I had rather have been a party, than a witness, I was not a little amazed to ● them strike the iron which I thought cold▪ & to make an end before I could hear a beginning. When they saw me as it were in a trance, Surius taking me by the hand, began thus to jest.  
You muse Phylautus to see Camilla and me to be assured, not that you doubted it unlikely to come to pass, but that you were ignorant of the practices, thinking the dial to stand still, because you cannot perceive it to move. But had you been privy to all proofs, both of her good meaning towards me, and of my good will towards her, you would rather have thought great haste to be made, then long deliberation. For this understand, that my friends are unwilling that I should match so low, not knowing that love thinketh the juniper shrub, to be as high as the tall Oak, or the Nightingale's lays, to be more precious than the Ostritches feathers, or the Lark that breedeth in the ground, to be better than the Hobby that mounteth to the clouds. I have always hitherto preferred beauty before riches, & honesty before blood, knowing that birth is the praise we receive of our ancestors, honesty the renown we leave to our successors, and of two brittle goods, riches and beauty, I had rather choose that which might delight me, then destroy me. Made marriages by friends, how dangerous they have been I know Phylautus, and some present have proved, which can be likened to nothing else so well, then as if a man should be constrained to pull on a shoe by an others last, not by the length of his own foot, which being to little, wrings him that wears it, not him that made it, if too big, shameth him that hath it, not him that gave it. In meats, I love to crave where I like, and in marriage shall I be craved where I like not? I had as lief an other should take measure by his back, of my apparel, as appoint what wife I shall have, by his mind.  
In the choice of a wife, sundry men are of sundry ●indes, one looketh high, as one that feareth no chips, saying that the oil that swimmeth in the top is ● wholesomest, and other poreth in the ground, as dreading all dangers that happen in great stocks, alleging that the honey that lieth in the bottom is the sweetest, I assent to neither, as one willing to follow the mean, thinking that the wine which is in the midst to be the finest. That I might therefore match to mine own mind, I have chosen Camilla, a Virgin of no noble race, nor yet the child of a base father, but between both, a Gentlewoman of an ancient and worshipful house, in beauty inferior to none, in virtue superior to a number.  
Long time we loved, but neither durst the manifest her affection because I was noble, nor I utter mine, for fear of offence, seeing in her always a mind more willing to carry Torches before Vesta, than Tapers before juno But as fire when it bursteth out, catcheth hold soonest of the dryest wood, so Love, when it is revealed, fasteneth easiest upon the affectionate will: which came to pass in both of us, for talking of Love, of his laws, of his delights, torments, and all other branches, I could neither so dissemble my liking, but that she espied it, whereat I began to sigh, not she so cloak her love, but that I perceived it, whereat she began to blush: at the last, though long time straining courtesy who should go over the style, when we had both haste, I (for that I knew women would rather die than seem to desire) began first to unfold the extremities of my passions, the causes of my love, the constancy of my faith, the which she knowing to be true, easily believed, and replied in the like manner, which I thought not certain, not that I misdoubted her faith, but that I could not persuade myself, of so good fortune.  
Having thus made each other privy to our wished desires, I frequented more often to Camilla, which caused my friends to suspect that, which now they shall find true, and this was the cause that we all meet here, that before this good company, we might knit that knot with our tongues, that we shall never undo with our teeth.  
This was Surius speech unto me, which Camilla with the rest affirmed. But I Euphues, in whose heart the stumps of love were yet sticking, began to change colour, feeling as it were new storms, to arise after a pleasant calm, but thinking with myself, that the time was past to woo her, that an other was to wed, I digested the Pill which had almost choked me. But Time caused me to sing a new Tune, as after thou shalt hear.  
After much talk & great there, I taking my leave departed, being willed to visit the Lady Flavia at my leisure, which word was to me in steed of a welcome.  
within a while after, it was noised that Surius was assured to Camilla, which bread quarrels, but he like a noble Gentleman rejoicing more in his love, than esteeming the loss of his friends, maugre them all, was married, not in a chamber privately as one fearing tumults, but openly in the Church, as one ready to answer any objections.  
This marriage solemnized, could not be recalled, which raused his Allies to consent, and so all parties pleased, I think them the happiest couple in the world.  
Now Euphues thou shalt understand, that all hope being cut off from obtaining Camilla, I began to use the advantage of the word, that the lady Flavia cast out, whom I visited more like to a sojourner, than a stranger, being absent at no time, from breakfast till evening.  
Draff was mine errand but drink I would, my great courtesy was to excuse my grievous torments: for I ceased not continually to court my violet, whom I never found so coy, as I thought, nor so courteous as I wished. At the last thinking not to spend all my wooing in signs, I fell to flat sayings, revealing the bitter sweets that I sustained, the joy at her presence, the grief at her absence, with all speeches that a Lover might frame: she not degenerating from the wiles of a woman, seemed to accuse men of inconstancy, that the painted words were but wind, that feigned sighs were but flights, that all their love was but to laugh, laying eayghts to catch the fish, that they meant again to throw into the River, practising, only cunning to deceive, not courtesy to tell truth, wherein she compared all Lovers to Mizaldus ●he Poet, which was so light, that every wind would blow him away, unless he had lead tied to his heels, and to the fugitive stone in Cicyco, which runneth away if it be not fastened to some post.  
Thus would she dally, a wench evermore given to such disport: I answered for myself as I could, and for all men as I thought.  
Thus oftentimes had we conference, but no conclusion, many meetings, but few pastimes, until at the last, Surius, one that could quickly perceive, on which side my bread was buttered, began to break with more touching Francis, not as though he had heard any thing, but as one that would understand some thing, I durst not seem strange when I found him so courteous, knowing that in this matter, he might almost work all to my liking.  
I unfolded to him from time to time, the whole disscourses I had with my Violet, my earnest desire to obtain her, my lands, goods, and revenues, who hearing my tale, promised to further my suit, wherein he so bestirred his study, that within one month, I was in passibilytie to have her I most wished, and least looked for.  
It were too too long to write an History, being but determined to send a Letter: therefore I will defer all the actions and accidents that happened, until occasion shall serve either to meet thee, or minister leisure to me.  
To this end it grew, that conditions drawn for the performance of a certain jointer (for the which I had many Italians bound) we were both made as sure, as Surius and Camilla.  
Her dowry was in ready money a thousand pounds, and a fair house, wherein I mean shortly to dwell. The jointer I must make, is four hundred pounds yearly, the which I must here purchase in England, and sell my lands in Italy.  
Now Euphues imagine with thyself that Phylautus beginneth to change, although in one year to marry and to thrive it be hard.  
But would I might once again see thee here, unto whom thou shalt be no less welcome, than to thy best friend.  
Surius that noble Gentleman commendeth him unto thee, Camilla forgetteth thee not, both, earnestly wish thy return, with great promises to do thee good, whether thou wish it in the Court or in the Country, and this I durst swear, that if thou come again into England, thou wilt be so friendly entreated, that either thou wilt altogether dwell here, or tarry here longer.  
The Lady Flavia saluteth thee, and also my Uyolet, every one wisheth thee so well, as thou canst wish thyself no better.  
Other news here is none, but that which little appertaineth to me, and nothing to thee.  
Two requests I have to make, as well from Surius as myself, the one to come into England, the other to hear thine answer. And thus in haste I bid thee farewell. From London, the first of February. 1579.  
Thine or not his own, Phylautus.  
THis letter being delivered to Euphues, and well perused, caused him both to marvel and to joy, seeing all things so strangely concluded, and his friend so happily contracted: having therefore by the same means opportuntie to send answer, by the which he had pleasure to receive news, he dispatched his Letter in this form.  
¶ Euphues to Phylautus.  
THere could nothing have come out of England, to Euphues more welcome than thy letters, unless it had been thy person, which when I had thoroughly perused, I could not at the first, either believe them for the strangeness, or at the last for the happiness: for upon the sudden to hear such alterations of Surius, passed all credit, and to understand so fortunate success to Phylautus, all expectation: yet considering that many things fall between the cup and the lip, that in one lucky hour more rare things come to pass, than sometimes in seven year, that marriages are made in heaven, though consummated in earth, I was brought both to believe the events, & to allow them. Touching Surius and Camilla, there is no doubt but that they both will live well in marriage, who loved so well before their matching: & in my mind he dealt both wisely and honourably, to prefer virtue before vainglory, & the godly ornaments of nature before the rich armour of nobility: for this must we all think, (how well so ever we think of ourselves) that virtue is most noble, by the which men became first noble. As for thine own estate, I will be bold to counsel thee, knowing it never to be more necessary to use advise than in marriage. Solon gave counsel that before one assured himself he should be so wary, that in tying himself fast, he did not undo himself, wishing them first to eat a Quince pear, that is, to have sweet conference without brawls, than salt to be wise without boasting.  
In B●etia they covered the Bride with Asparagonia▪ the nature of the which plant is, to bring sweet fruit out▪ of a sharp throne, whereby they noted that although the Virgin were somewhat shrewish at the first, yet in time she might become a sheep. Therefore Phylautus, if thy Violet s●●moth in the first month either to chide or chafe, thou must hear without reply, and endure with patience, for they that cannot suffer the wranglings of young married women, are not like unto those, that tasting the grape to be sour before it be ripe, leave to gather it when it is ripe, resembling them, that being stung with the be, for sake the Honey.  
Thou must use sweet words, not bitter checks, and though happily thou wilt say, that wands are to be wrought when they are green, lest they rather break then bend when they be dry, yet know also that he that bendeth a twig, because he would see if it would bow by strength, may chance to have a crooked tree, when he would have a strait.  
It is prettily noted of a contention between the Wind & the Sun, who should have the victory. A Gentleman walking abroad the wind thought to blow of his cloak, which with great blasts and blusteringes, striving to unloose it, made it to stick faster to his back, for the more the wind increased, the closer the cloak clapped to his body: then the Sun shining with his hot beams, began to warm this Gentleman, who waring somewhat saint in this fair weather, did not only put off his cloak but his coat, which the wind perceiving, yielded the conquest to the Sun. In the very like manner fareth it with young wives, for if their husbands with great threatming, with jars, with brawls seek to make them tractable, or bend their kn●ees, the more stiff they make them in the joints, the oftener they go about by force to rule them, the more froward they find them, but using mild words, gentle persuasions, familiar counsel, entreaty, submission, they shall not only make them to bow their knees, but to hold up their hands, not only cause them to honour them, but to stand in awe of them: for their stomachs are all framed of Diamond, which is not to be bruised with a hammer but blood, not by force, but flattery, resembling the cock, who is not to be feared by a Serpent, but a glead, They that fear their vines will make to sharp wine, must not cut the arms, but graft next to them Mandrake, which causeth the grape to be more pleasant. They that fear to have cursed wives, must not with rigour seek to calm them, but saying gentle words in every place by them, which maketh them more quiet.  
Instruments sound sweetest, when they be touched softest, women beware wisest, when they be used mildest. The Horse striveth when he is hardly rained, but having the bridle never stirreth, women are stark mad if they be ruled by might, but with a gentle rain they will bear a white mouth. Gall was cast out from the sacrifice of juno, which betokened that the marriage bed should be without bitterness. Thou must be a glass to thy wife, for in thy face must she see her own, for if when thou laughest, she weep, when thou mournest she giggle, the one is a manifest sign she delighteth in others, the other a token she despiseth thee. Be in thy behaviour modest, temperate, saber, for as thou framest thy manners, so will thy wife fit hers. Kings that be wrestlers cause their subjects to exercise that feat. Princes that are musicans, incite their people to use Instruments, husbands that are chaste and godly, cause also their wives to imitate their goodness.  
For thy great dowry that ought to be in thine own hands, for as we call that wine, wherein there is more than half water, so do we term that, the goods of the husband which his wife bringeth though it be all.  
Helen gaped for goods, Paris for pleasure, Ulysses was content with chaste Penelope, so let it be with thee, that whatsoever others marry for, be thou always satisfied with virtue, otherwise may I use that speech to thee that Olympias did to a young Gentleman, who only took a wife for beauty, saying: this Gentleman hath only married his eyes, but by that time he have also wedded his e●re, he will confess that a fair shoe wrings, though it be smooth in the wearing.  
Lycurgus' made a law that there should be no dowry given with Maidens, to the end that the virtuous might be married, who commonly have little, not the amorous, who oftentimes have too much.  
Behave thyself modestly with thy wife before company, remembering the severity of Cato, who removed Manlius from the Senate, for that he was seen to kiss his wife in presence of his daughter: old men are seldom merry before children, lest their laughter might breed in them looseness, husbands should scarce jest before their wives, lest want of modesty on their parts, be cause of wantonness on their wives part. Imitate the Kings of Persia, who when they were given to riot, kept no company with their▪ wives, but when they used good order, had their Queens ever at their table. Give no example of lightness, for look what thou practisest most, that will thy wife follow most, though it becometh her least. And yet would I not have thy wife so curious to please thee, that fearing lest her husband should think she painted her face, she should not therefore wash it, only let her refrain from such things as she knoweth cannot well like thee, he that cometh before an Elephant will not wear bright colours, nor he that cometh to a Bull, red, nor he that standeth by a Tiger, play on a Taber: for that by the sight or noise of these things, they are commonly much infensed. In the like manner there is no wife if she be honest, that will practise those things, that to her mate shall seem displeasant, or move him to choler.  
Be thrifty and wary in thy expenses, for in old time they were as soon condemned by law that spent their wives dowry prodigally, as they that divorced them wrongfully.  
Fly that vice that is peculiar to all those of thy country, jealousy: for if thou suspect without cause, it is the next way to have cause, women are to be ruled by their own wits, for be they chaste no gold can win them, if immodest, no grief can amend them, so that all mistrust is either peerless or bootless.  
Be not too imperious over her, that will make her to hate thee, not to submiss, that will cause her to disdain thee: let her neither be thy slave, nor thy sovereign, for if she lie under thy foot she will never love thee, if climb above thy head, never care for thee: the one will breed thy shame to love her so little, the other thy grief to suffer too much.  
In governing thy household, use thine own eye, and her hand, for housewifery consisteth as much in seeing things as settling things, and yet in that go not above thy latchet, for Cooks are not to be taught in the Kitchen, nor Painters in their shops, nor housewives in their houses let all the keys hang at her girdle, but the purse at thine, so shalt thou know what thou dost spend, and how she can spare.  
Break nothing of thy stock, for as the stone Thyrrenus being whole swimmeth, but never so little diminished, sinketh to the bottom: so a man having his stock full, is ever a float, but wasting of his store becometh bankrupt.  
Entertain such men as shall be trusty, for if thou keep a Wolf within thy doors to do mischief, or a Fox to work craft and subtlety, thou shalt find it as perilous, as if in thy barns thou shouldest maintain Mice, or in thy grounds Moles.  
Let thy maidens be such, as shall seem readier to take pains, then follow pleasure, willinger to dress up their house, than their heads, not so fine fingered, to call for a Lute, when they should use the distaff, nor so dainty mouthed, that their silken throats should swallow no packthread.  
For thy dyette be not sumptuous, nor yet simple: For thy attire not costly, nor yet clownish, but cutting thy coat by thy cloth, go no farther then shall become thy estate, lest thou be thought proud, and so envied, nor debase not thy birth, lest thou be deemed poor, & so pitied.  
Now thou art come to that honourable estate, forget all thy former follies, and debate with thyself, that heretofore thou didst but go about the world, and that now, thou art come into it, that Love did once make thee to follow riot, that it must now enforce thee to pursue thrift, that then there was no pleasure to be compared to the courting of Ladies, that now there can be no delight greater than to have a wife.  
Commend me humbly to that noble man Surius, and to his good Lady Camilla.  
Let my duty to the Lady Flavia be remembered, and to thy Uiolyt, let nothing that may be added, be forgotten.  
Thou wouldst have me come again into England, I would but I cannot: But if thou desire to see Euphues, when thou art willing to visit thine Uncle, I will meet thee, in the mean season, know, that it is as far from Athens to England, as from England to Athens.  
Thou sayest I am much wished for, that many fair promises are made to me: Truly Phylautus I know that a friend in the court is better than a penny in the purse, but yet I have heard that such a friend cannot be gotten in the court without pence.  
Fair words fat few, great promises without performance, delight for the time, but yerk ever after.  
I cannot but thank Surius, who wisheth me well, and all those that at my being in England liked me well. And so with my hearty commendations until I hear from thee, I bid thee farewell.  
Thine to use, if marriage change not manners, Euphues.  
THis Letter dispatched, Euphues gave himself to solitariness, determining to sojourn in some uncouth place, until time might turn white salt into fine sugar: for surely he was both tormented in body and grieved in mind.  
And so I leave him, neither in Athens nor else where that I know: But this order he left with his friends, that if any news came or letters, that they should direct them to the Mount of Silixsedra, where I leave him, either to his musing or Muses.  
GEntlemen, Euphues is musing in the bottom of the Mountain Silixsedra: Phylautus married in the Isle of England: two friends parted, the one living in the delights of his new wife, the other in contemplation of his old griefs.  
What Phylautus doth, they can imagine that are newly married, how Euphues liveth, they may guess that are cruelly martyred: I commit them both to stand to their own bargains, for if I should meddle any farther with the marriage of Philatus, it might happily make him jealous, if with the melancholy of Euphues, it might cause him to be cholaricke: so the one would take occasion to rub his head, fit his hat never so close, and the other offence, to gall his heart, be his case never so quiet. I Gentlewomen, am indifferent, for it may be, that Phylautus would not have his life known which he leadeth in marriage, nor Euphues, his love descried, which he beginneth in solitariness: lest either the one being too kind, might be thought to dote, or the other too constant, might be judged to be mad. But were the truth known, I am sure Gentlewomen, it would be a hard question among Ladies, whether Phylautus were a better wooer, or a husband, whether Euphues were a better lover, or a scholar. But let the one mark the other, I leave them both, to confer at their next meeting, and commit you, to the Almighty.   
FINIS.   

¶ Imprinted at London, by Thomas East, for 〈…〉 Cawood dwelling in Paul's Churchyard▪ 〈…〉