MARTIN'S Months mind, THAT IS, A certain report, and true description of the Death, and Funerals, of old Martin Marre-prelate, the great makebate of England, and father of the Factious. Containing the cause of his death, the manner of his burial, and the right copies both of his Will, and of such Epitaphs, as by sundry his dearest friends, and other of his well willers, were framed for him. Martin the Ape, the drunk, and the mad, The three martin's are, whose works we have had. If Martin the fourth come, after Martin's so evil, Nor man, nor beast comes, but Martin the devil. 1589. The Epistle Dedicatory to Pasquine of England. FRiend Pasquine, most hearty Commendations. For I cannot but both heartily commend me to you, pasquin's Countercuffe. & commend you also▪ The Cuff you lately gave to Martin the younker, in steed of his glove, was so smartly given, and sat so close to his ear; as I must needs praise both your courage, and cunning in cuffing. And for that both he, and his good brother, shall not want Cuffs to keep themselves warm withal this winter: I have given them both, now one Cuff more: which albeit in truth be but a whirred; yet am I clasping my fist as fast as I can, to give them one pair of Cuffs more, that shall be so soundly set on, as I doubt not shall make them stagger. Martin's sons say Martin is dead; I know it to be no fable: and have sent you here the true transcript of all that worthy & memorable history, containing, his Sickness, last Will, Death, Anatomy, Burial, and Epitaphs, with all other Implements belonging thereunto. Herein I have made them but a little merry, 1 Old Martin's Months mind. as they do us, and bobde them with their own babble, which I know must please them (for they are very pleasurable Gentlemen as their father was). In the next that shall be very shortly (which I term The suing of Martin Senior his livery) we shall give them a cuff shall make their ears tingle: 2 The suing of young Martin's livery. but in the third which shall be Martin's models, (for he is in the building vain as his father was) containing the mischiefs of Martinisme both to the Church and state; 3 Martin'S models. we shall reach them a rap, as they will never claw of, except they scratt off the skin from the very bones, till they come to the Crows and Pies to help them: and will prove in good earnest, what themselves report of themselves which is better than the best jury (prophesying with Caiphas) that they are the very botches and blains of both those bodies. In the mean space (Pasquine) remember your promise. It grows fast towards januarie: it were time your Almanac were out; pasquin's Almanac. and for that it seemeth you have some skill in Astrology, (if it may be) by your calculation, let us have a glimpse at the least, of the fools physiognomies. Thus much may we conjecture, without any figure, that they are some young Devils, and that their purpose is to make some hot work with us, (and therefore no marvel that they have been so fiery heretofore) that have chosen a Salpeter man for their foreman, Martin makes gun powder. and a gun powder house (an hell on earth) for their printing shop. But I hope they shall not want Matches to singe them with their own fire, and to blow up their powder and all about their ears. But especially (Pasquine) for that they are so busy with other men's doings, and themselves only, The Mirror of all modesty, honesty, courtesy, humility, patience, and all sanctity, pasquin's Legend. remember your legend in any wise. The lives of such Saints must needs be a singular piece of work, and edify much; especially against the seven deadly sins which they never transgress. Martins never transgress the 7. dead●● sins. Pride, for they despise all but themselves. Lechery, for three at a clap, their heaths can yield them. Sloth, for though they be seldom idle, yet they are never well occupied. Gluttony, for they would devour all. Covetousness, for they are never satisfied. Wrath, for they do nothing but quarrel. Envy, for they cannot abide any to have aught, but themselves. Their four Cardinal virtues. But especially for the four Cardinal virtues: Fortitude, for they hide their heads. justice, for they would take from every man his own. Wisdom, or else I report me to their witty conceits. And Temperance, for they govern their passions passingly well. Their three theological virtues. But for the three Theological virtues they excel, of all that ever I heard of. Faith, for I doubt me whether they be of any. Hope, which is to see the overthrow of all. And Charity, for they detest and damn all but themselves. And though they were at the first, and be still, passing impudent, and neither fear nor shame to say any thing, hiding their heads, and being out of the reach of all controlment: (for Qui semel impudentiae fines transierit, eum bene & kn●uiter, oportet esse impudentem) yet (Pasquine) since they are now become contemptible, amongst the most and best, let us trample on them as the dirt of the street; being in very deed the dross and dregs of the Common wealth. And so longing to hear from you, as you shall from me again, (God willing) very shortly, I bid you farewell. Your fast friend, and fellow in Arms Mar-phoreus. To the discreet and indifferent Reader. IT is a world to see this world (good reader) Never deeper dangers in hand, Martin's unseasonable contentions. nor less advisedly regarded. Never slighter toys in head, nor more seriously followed. Never greater tragedies tendered abroad, nor lighter Comaedies traversed at home. Never so many means of discord from others, nor ever so little concord among ourselves. The people never greater benefits, nor more unthankful; never more quietness, nor more unquiet. The Prince never more gracious, the subjects for a great part never so ungracious. And to be short, never better laws, nor wiser Magistrates; yet never such liberty in speaking, impudency in writing, nor mischief in working, both privately against particular persons (and those of the best) for their defacing, and publicly for the undermining of the Church, and overthrow of the common wealth as now. The Authors hereof, Martin's cunning and crafty proceeding in his affairs. though they shot at both at once, (whereof the one was and is used but as the underground work to blow up the other whereupon it stands which in the sueing of Martin's livery shortly shall be made manifest:) and desired to see the cleaving of the pin, withal the expedition that might possible be (wherein God be thanked their haste was more than their good speed): yet proceeded they therein cunningly by degrees, as the Fox did with the Lion: first peering at him a far of; then looking on him, but behind a bush, till at the last, finding his roaring to be without biting, he presumed to ●ett cheek by jowl with him: Or as that varlet did, that by oft striking at the picture painted on a board, that could not control him; adventured in the end to strike through and murder the man himself. For first of all, The four forms of old Martin's school. some of them which were the Petties and Punies of that school, whereof old Martin was the master; though then he was but as some blind and obscure parish Clarke that taught in the Belfry, The first form. not presuming, Admonishers. as he doth now, to press into the Church, (that place in respect of the appurtenances being fit for him) began but rawly with their little a, b, c. And though their fescue even▪ then pointed at Capital letters: yet for that time, the farthest lesson they took forth was but Title point in the end; neither could they come so far as Estamen, because God for beginning, was no part of their Cross row. Who like acquaint Choristers (for they love Music as the Ape the whip) first entered with their Solfaing notes, but not one in rule, (for they love that neither in word nor deed) and reached only at the rags; which yet made some jags in the seameles coat. And like the Saint Nicolas Clerks on Salisbury plain (I use the similitude, for that Martin loves Sarum so well) stepped out before us in the high way, and bid us stand. In the admonition to the Parliament. And these could not abide round heads to wear square caps, that yet could brook a round trencher (especially at another man's square table): nor a standing collar answerable to the neck, that would wear bowcases, and whole buttery hatches themselves upon their backs. Nor a woman to wear a kercher but an inch beneath the chin, that would wear themselves hats of the Babylonian block, a foot in length at least above their heads. No cross in the brow at Baptism, but never so many, at any time in the bag. No bells, but Libels, and babbles of their own. No Homilies read, but their own Hom-lies preached. No praying, either for women labouring with child, or thanks giving for women delivered. No more praying against thunder and lightning, than against sparrow blasting. * Their own godly speeches. They would correct Magnificat, not knowing Quid significat. They could not like of any Benedictus, for they were (and yet are still) in their Maledictus and Malefactus altogether, neither could they then, or yet can they skill of any thing else. But these men were but bench whistlers, and shot but at short butts, and but for points after an halfpenny the dozen, for that they would not sit out, but be counted gamesters, and be thought to be able to shoot in a long bow, though but a bolt; or in a crossbow, though never so small a quarrel. Yet these were good fellows; for they craved but half, for that they thought some had too much; (as the manner of such make shifts is to do): and they had some reason for it, for Oxonium petit aequalia is an old said saw, and Soluatecclesia, was a fair and gentle text for that purpose. Next after these, The second form. followed another crew, somewhat more than a good deal quicker than these; Pistlers. who being past their A, b, c, sought to put together (and thought withal to put us altogether by the ears) and began their crooked descant, consisting only of discords: and these like lusty cutters, Old Martin in his Epistle. drawing out and brandishing their blades and threatening us with stripes yea to make our very hearts to ache if we would not yield, adventured to lay hold fast on our purses, and like strong thieves in deed proffered to rob us of all our monnie. And the Captain cuff of this bouncing band, was the old Sheepbiter, the ancient Gentleman this our young master's Father: who then was ●●pt from the Belfry, up into the Chancel of the Church. (O that the bell rope had not staid him by the way) and under took the traversing of greater matters. He not content to pluck of the clothes, pricks at the bodies. Old Martin thorough out all his works. He will pull the Archbishops and Bishops out of their doors by the ears. He will down with their houses, though the Gentleman's ancestors never built them. He will tumble down the Churches, for barns and stables will serve his devotion well enough. He must have their Manors and lands, to make himself, and his beggarly brats and shifting hang b●es, Squires and Gentlemen. He will sweep away all both the fish, and the fry at one draught, with his nets; and as it were dry up our very rivers with the breath of his mouth; and carry whole Countries before him; and snatch up houses and woods, and dales, and hills, and people, and all, into his budget: so as none shall dwell with him upon t●e earth. Nay he goeth farther, and setting his face against the heavens, he makes a mock of the Saints of God; Old Martin in his Epistle. yea the mother of Christ, (with his single sold Sirs) & the Scriptures themselves he beastly abuseth to his hick scorners jests. This man, In his Pistol tacking on a blind jest of a Benefice, to a text of S. Peter. like a mad dog runneth at every man without regard, and with foaming mouth, and venomous teeth, biteth not by the shins, but the very throat, ●e careth not whom; not only those, whom ●ee counteth his enemies (the worst better than the best of his hay gobetts) but those also, whom he saith untruesie men call; Puritans, Martin jumor in Thes. and himself, accounteth his half faced friends, he snarleth at; and termeth Traitors, for that they first set them on work, (as he pitifully complaining, showeth unto us), and now are ashamed of them (as they well may) and will not gallop with them so fast as they do upon the spur, and without the bridle beyond all honesty and discretion. Martin Senior in his Pistol in the margin. Nay his own pufellowes (whom indeed himself best knoweth, and with whom he may be boldest) he coteth with his own livery, Martinistes saucy knaves, by Martin's own testimony. and calleth saucy knaves: which me thinks, sits close to their backs, without pleite or wrinkle, and fitteth them so well, as no Tailor in England could do it better. And yet he revealeth the faults of others so whotlie, and revileth them so bitterly, as if that name at no hand appertained to him, or any of his. The right of spring of him, that is termed Sathanas, the accuser of his brethren, and a very limb of him, that is called Fur & homicida, a thief and a murderer, for he cometh not but to steal, and kill; and his marks are no dead marks, but livings, and lives; and his arrows all are forkers, and made for mischief, though feathered yet (as hereafter you shall hear) with woodcocks whing. After him, The third form. as if hell had been broken lose; Barbarians. out runs another rabble, of the same house and family, in the collateral line of lewdness, Browne, barrow, and Greenewood, that very three headed Cerberus the dog of hell: and these being of the former consort for taking of our purse (for that we should not be able to see belike to make Hue and cry after the thieves) would have us whoodwinckt, See D. Somes answer to their positions. and therefore being very asses themselves, would needs have our Universities, the only means of our knowledge down. And so might they also the better afterwards, scatter what heresies soever they should devise, (for that is their only occupation) as it were in that palpable darkness, and beastly barbarism, without controlment. These men, must needs (and so do) dislike of all degrees; worthy themselves to proceed by no degrees, but roundels. The Clergy, they will not afford so much as an hole to rest in; unworthy themselves to have any hole (save the pillory) to put their heads in. The Prince, may not meddle, (say they) in matters of religion. Neither must the people tarry for the Prince, or Parliament in Church matters: (neither should the hangman for such rib●lds). Churches, they will have none. Sacraments, they care for none. Ministers, they need none. They make all, and do all; and are all themselves. All set prayers, are babbling and blasphemy, and such prayers only as themselves make Ex trumpery, is the only pure, & perfect praying. As for the Lords prayer, that is but a toy, and a plain mocking of the Lord to say it. Yea that it is better for a man to lie with his Father's Wife (Quaere by the way whether that also be not an artiticle of their religion); than to resort to the Church, or come into the congregation, to public prayer. Lucian the Atheist, was never so irreligious; nor ever julian the runagate so blasphemous. And these coming out as it were with their three man's song, would confound all, and make a black fanctus of the matter: shooting out their venomous shafts, with mischievous heads, sharpened upon Martin's most malicious whetstone. For that they have issued from Martin's school, and are fellows in field with them, and fight together, against both the Church & State, in one and the self same quarrel, shall evidently be proved in Martin's livery. These are the very Locusts, that came from the smoke of the bottomless pit, to darken the Sun, and the air, with faces like men but teeth like Lions, and tails like Scorpions, to sting men, being not men infatuate, but beasts intoxicate, or rather very devils incarnate, sent out to deceive and disturb the world. And now last of all (and would GOD it were so) out steps me their Abaddon, The fourth form. a bad one indeed and the very worst of all, Seditious. Martin Senior for sooth, the old Martin's son and ●eire (worshipped might he be) and together with him, a brother of his, one Martin junior, a pretic stripling, (as he terms himself; and pretty striplings indeed would they be, if they were clean stripped, and well whipped, and trimly trust up withal), as very varlets both; (they shall pardon me, if for themselves, I borrow their own phrase): as ever was their Father, or great Grandfather, or any of that lewd lineage before them, and these men's Cater Cousins, on the surer side. And these, to fill up the iniquity of their forefathers, disdainfully scorn the Majesty of Princes and set light of them: Martin Iu. in Thes. and the one of them, abusing that most reverendname, to the rascal his father, one of the very scum of the people: calleth him a man of a kingly nature; Martin Sen. in cens. and not only that, but in plain and flat term maketh a test of Princes: and the troubling of the State, and offending of her Majesty, be turneth of with a frumping, forsooth, as though it were a toy to think of it. Pag. 3. And the other scoffeth at her majesties authority, scorneth her displeasure, jesteth at praying for her, Pag. 23. C●nsur. revileth her laws, threateneth her Magistrates; pag. 22. These things shall evidently be proved in Martin's livery. nay her Majesty herself; musters her subjects; stirreth up Clergy men, Gentlemen, and people: and plainly with open mouth and full cheeks, bloweth up the trumpet to rebellion; and as it were with banner displayed (though lurking in his den) doth enter the field, He braggeth that he hath 100000. disciples in the realm, and those the strength and sinews of the land. and giveth the defiance, except he have his forth; and pretending his Pistol, bendeth his Pistol at us. Nay further, (that plainly proveth him to be a right limb of Antichrist) he rusheth into men's consciences, and sits him down in the seat of God's secrets, and tell us, Martin Sen. in cens. that such an one shall have a fearful end, for that forsooth, he resisteth their shameful beginnings. It shall be the bane to such a one, both in this life, (as if he had a purpose to kill him) and in the life to come, (as if he had the power to damn him. And what is the offence? To moderate and marshal such miscreants as himself, and his mates are? An heinous matter. I marvel then what shall become of Master Recorder of London, that every month, dispatcheth many less hurtful, and some much more honest, than the most of these are. Nay the Lord hath no part in such a one; whose grace (I use that phrase in despite of both the martin's and all the Martinists) hath more grace, than all the rabble of such Rakehells, and most miserable, Martin the Iu. in conclus. and desperate kaitives'. I do return, but their own very words, that themselves lent unto those that mind not to borrow them, nor to be in their debt. And these lusty youths, not contented with the 'pon, threaten us the penknife: nor being satisfied with our purse, hackle at our throat. And these are (as Martin the more speaketh more truly than himself is aware of touching himself and his yoke fellows) most rebellious, Martin Senior his own words of himself and his fellows cens. pag. 6. and shall sufficiently be proved in his Livery. and disobedient to all good proceed: Traitors and enemies to her Majesty: They will overthrow the states: to the which they shall add thus much (to make it a perfect and a most true period) they show in their writings, that they say in their hearts, there is no God. For (to leave further stirring of this stinking sink) it is now come to this pass, The substance and end of Martin's lessons. that if these men may have their sway, (but we hope first they shall have their swing) we shall have left us, I will not say, No cap, no coats, no money, no house, no living, but (better no life) no learning, no Magistrates, no Prince, no Church, no Sacrament, no prayer, no nor God, for us to worship, or fear at all. These men, would I call (as I well might) Monsters; save that in these mischievous days, wherein our Europa, i● become an Africa, in bringing daily forth new monsters, I can account them but ordinary Vermin. But very fitly have they taken their name of Marring; that profess nothing else but marring: both the names of men▪ and quiet of the common wealth, and peace of the Church, and livings of the Church, and Churches themselves: and the rewards of learning, and places of learning, and degrees of learning, and learning itself: and the laws of the land, and the authority of the Prince, and last of all (for what can be left after for the Devil himself) sacraments, Ministers, prayers, yea the lords prayer; and so set their brazen faces against heaven, and bend their forces against the Lord himself. For they are not only now come to shoot at rovers, and seek out at every bout a new mark; but begin as fast as they can, (leaving the obscurer hobbs that first they began with, to shoot a main for the upshot, at the fairest marks of all. Martin's Cards. They are now in hand to shuffle the Cards (as ill as they will seem to love them) and to confound all, to amend their bad games, having never a good Card in their hands, and leaving the ancient game of England (Trump) where every coat, and suit are sorted in their degree, are running to their Ruff where the greatest sort of the suit carrieth away the game: and to their Maw, where the five fingers is a card of great strength, and though the King and the Queen be in the deck; yet the knave must command all and bear the sway. Martin's Dice. And that thou mayst know them to be good Dicers, too; when their Dice are so cunningly coggd: as though they cast Sins for the most part, yet they may in the end with a tripsie Tray, carry all away smooth; and come once to the sweepe-stake, and make a bare board, and how they mean than to proceed (if they pass) shall be a Mumchaunce for me; that are like (as wiser heads no doubt do see) to hazard all. For then the Dice are like to rule all; be the caster never so cunning, and his heap never so great before him. Which point perhaps they will carry the cleanlier, covering it with this cloak that (as they pretend in other matters of less moment by them) to reduce all to the precise form of the Primitive Church; so for this matter especially, they being as it were our new Apostles (and very Apostolic are their writings no doubt, and their pistles savoureth much of the phrase of the Apostles epistles) all must be sold, and brought to their feet; that they may set their feet, on the highest head. For this generation is like the ivy, that from the root groweth up, and roundeth itself, as it were for pure love; about the Elm, and never leaveth to creep up, till it ●ath advanced itself to the highest of all, and sucked out the sap clean, and dried it up. The green leaves make a fair and a glorious show, but in the end, when it hath clunged close, and climbed aloft, it marreth all both top and trunk. Thus have I showed thee (gentle Reader) a short sight of Martin's school the degrees of his forms, the sum of his lessons, and the drift, both of the master and scholars: and for so much as, the old Martin is dead, (as straight thou shalt hear) were it not that we are bound rather, for the quiet of the Church, and safety of the state, as well to wish the utter extirpation of all such untractable and seditious schism sowers, as to work withal, by all orderly means we may, to effect the same in time convenient, before it be grown to so great a head, as will trouble the wisest heads, and the highest head perhaps to help it: we might otherwise pray, with the old woman of Siracusa for the good health and welfare, Martin must be prayed for. of these two young Slips his sons, least after them come out unto us, the great devil their grand master Beelzebub himself, whose next forerunner, out of all doubt this race of martin's is. And these are the younkers that we now undertake; The Martins are almost become bankrupts. the old Martin's reverend son and heir, and his worshipful Brother; who being both but newly come to their Father's lands and goods, (I mean his good and are full of them, and therefore can make no one form of themselves. And this also, with many other as material points, shall in the next at large be proved. These fellows, Martin answereth nothing but with whoops and haloes. have heretofore been answered to their chiefest matters (which God knoweth were both few and frivolous) by 〈◊〉 of the best sort, (an unfit match for these of the basest baggagerie) both gravely, and learnedly. But as the Ape, the more sagely you look on him, the more he grinneth; and 〈…〉 substantially you reason 〈◊〉 him, the less he understandeth: so these Panions, scorning all modesty, and rejecting 〈…〉, delight in nothing, but in their most miserable vain, of resting and foolery. It is therefore thought the best way (for experience and time tries all things) and some wisemen wer● before of that judgement, The best way of answering Martin. and the wise man himself doth so advise us, and Martin the fool himself is of the same opinion, to answer the foole●, according to their 〈…〉. For I have here at this time only played with their foolish coxcomb; purposing in my next, to decipher their knavish head also: and when they shall put off their fools coat, and leave snapping of their wooden dagger, and betake themselves to a soberer kind of reasoning, (which will be very hard for such vices to do) to accept of their glorious glove. Till then; we will return them the Cuff, in stead of the glove, and hiss the fools from off the stage, as the readiest means to outface them; though (besides that they hide their heads) they be most impudent, and cannot blush. For what face soever they set on the matter, these jigs and Rhymes, have nipped the father in the head & killed him clean, seeing that he is overtaken in his own foolery. Martin the vice condamneth the Players Eigulus, sigulum. And this hath made the young youths his sons, to chafe and fret above measure, especially with the Players, (their betters in all respects, both in wit, and honesty) whom saving their liveries (for indeed they are her majesties men, and these not so much as her good subjects) they call Rogues for playing their interludes, and Asses for traveling all day for a penny; not remembering that both they, The Martin's right rogues. & their Father, playing the fools without any livery, are rogues indeed, by the laws of this land; and that for nothing, now two years together; are the veriest Asses of all the rest. And yet shalt thou find (good Reader) in this jesting with him, (but especially in the next) that the fool is bobbd withal in good earnest, and that he is proved a plain Hermaphrodite, Martin an Hermaphrodite. that is both a foolish knave, and a knavish fool also; and the veriest fool in the world, if he be not as very a knave withal, may soon see, to what pass, both religion, & the state would shortly come, if Mad Martin, & his mates marrings, and his sons shiftings, might by such as are of might, (which the GOD of all might forefend) be made account of. These jests, that now we deal withal, are partly the old man's monuments; but especially the elder sons censure, and the youngers Theses. The occasion of this worthy work. The first occasion indeed, grew of this latter, published by the dawling Martin junior, by means (as himself saith) of certain maimed, and imperfect Articles, The death of Martin the great. which he found dropped out of some man's (belike the hangman's) budget, Mar. the Iu. in Thes. in the conclusion. (whereof you shall hear more in the next) wherein he imagineth his Father (whose articles they were) to be dead; Martin Sen. in cens. & that the elder saith also he can not gaine-fay; which is the ground work and foundation, of our building, here for this time. What he omitted I have supplied; touching the cause of his death, and manner of his burial; for that I would be loath so memorable matters, should be buried with him, (which is but an Introduction to other matters that shortly shall follow, & sit somewhat nearer them; His livery & Models. upon the truth whereof thou mayst much better build I wis, then upon their fond & frenetical fancies; whereupon they would have thee, (if thou were so wise) to found thy faith. To conclude; mark Martin's life, and his proceed; and thou wilt say, his death, and funerals were answerable unto it. And since he is dead: let him be buried also, in thy conceit, and so let his vain works, together with his remembrance, lie still (as he doth) and 〈◊〉 as carrion. And as for these young martin's, both the one, and the other, and all the brood of such beastly brats; assure thyself, they are not long lived: that in the noses of all, that are not stuffed to much with the Pose of prejudice, but can smell any thing in the world: do even now, stink above the ground alive. Far well, And if thou wilt far well indeed: Beware of Martin. ¶ A true report of the death and burial of Martin Marprelate. Incipit faeliciter. GOod news to England. Old Martin the Marre-all is dead and buried. He telleth you the tale that knoweth it to be true. I pray GOD never worse news come either to Court, or Country, and all good people say, Amen. You long (I know) to hear the cause, and manner of his death, whose life and doings were so infamous; and many (I doubt not) will think, (and probably too) that it should be in reason some strange, and violent death, that is befallen him; that was so monstrous and immoderate in all his proceed; and that either in the fire, water, or air, that so troubled the earth while he lived upon it. The very truth I will tell you (for pity it were to bely the dead) from point to point, without altering so much as a pings point, as near as my memoric will give me leave, and therefore listen. Many are the reports scattered abroad of both, Sundry reports of Martin's death. (as commonly in such great accidents is accustomed) and all false. Some say he was taken by the Spaniards, and burnt in the Groin, and they that report so, say that he brought the cause thereof from hence with him, not for religion, but some other causes that now I omit. Some, that he was hanged by his own company at Lisbon for a mut●nie, which was very likely to have been true also, that ever was given to factions and mutinies, while he lived here. Some, that coming thence, having before overdronke himself with the hot wines of those Countries (which he could not but love well, being so seldom sober for the most part as he was) he died of a surfeit, and was thrown over board, & so was double drowned both within and without. Some, that riding in his visitation his horse stumbled, and he broke his neck which other some say, was in some other sort, as that he wandering to that purpose in the manner of a Gipson, for that he would not be known, was taken, and trust up for a rogue, and that only known to his companions. Indeed, I deny not, any one of these haps were likely enough to have befallen him, and not without his just deserts: and most men say, it was well enough, which way soever of these he ended, and worse (if worse might be). Howbeit, it was not that so well, as they do ween for, (being perhaps reserved for his two sons hereafter) but neither better nor worse than I will tell you. Martin junior his son, who knoweth the truth as no man better, yet loath to have it published, for that it toucheth his, and his friend's credit very nearly; seeketh to shadow it, with other some-saies: and that you may know him to be no bastard, (though perhaps yet base begotten, for even at this Age he doubteth who was his Father, Martin Iu. in conclus. and therefore must we take him to be terrae filius) not so much as one word true. Some say (quoth he) that he died at the Groin in service of her Majesty and his Country. Martin Senior in censur. But what saith Martin Senior his son and heir, and this man's brother to that? He die at the Groin: nay he'll be hanged, earth die there. Lo Martin junior, your bigger brother (besides the reverend remembrance of his, dear Father) gives ye the flat lie; for that he died not there. And no marvel. For he never lived in the service of her Majesty, and therefore who will believe he died in it? He never carried so good a mind to his Prince and Country, faithfully to fight for it, that would so spitefully write against it, and seek so wickedly to undermine it; whose overthrow he sought (in his kind) at home as hotly, with his shot of ink & paper, as the master of the Groin did abroad, with his of powder and pellet. And therefore say no more so (Petrie Martin) no man will believe it: neither have Those others (you talk of, Martin Iu. in Thes. in the conclus. (The man in the moon belike, and the carter of Charles wain) any just Motives, inducing them to be of that mind. Indeed there died many an honester man, and much more profitable members of the Common wealth (the greater though our grief yet their glory that valiantly triumphed over their cowardly enemies, and constantly rendered their lives in their Princes & country's service, which none of you all will ever either live or die in); and if Martin your father & you two martin's his sons, and your mates, had excused them; it had been a great good turn, both for the Prince and country; especially there, where one trouble State might have played upon another, and so a good riddance made of both together. After this, as knowing himself how ridiculous a suppose that is he requireth in scorn, of his N●nkaes the BB. (see how like the old Ape this young Monkey pattereth) whether they have not el●selie Martin Iu. in Thes. murdered the Gentleman in some of their Prisons and strangled him) knowing him to have kept himself far enough from their fingers, as these youths themselves minding to be neither valiant martin's (though they like lusty Martin's talk so much of venturing their lives in the quarrel, & vaunt themselves to be the best subjects of the Realm, nor constant confessors, though they brag so much of the goodness of their cause, which they gloriously gild with the flaunting phrase of Sincerity, and dam others to the deep pit of hell for not advancing it) do, and will do, I warrant them, (and they be not caught in the snatch against their will) for fear of a Lambathisme; Martin dares ● not land in his likeness at La●beth stairs. which of all things in the world they cannot abide. Howbeit pretty youth, I must needs confess the Tippet you talk of (as il as he loves them) was very due unto them, (though a much meaner man, than any of those might have fitted his neck withal) and you his son & your fair brother withal, as good a gentleman as he, may live to enjoy it, and that as your right by course of law, being a portion of the inheritance, that your father l●ft unto you. But it seemeth your father was not borne unto it, for that he died not possessed of it (the more is the pity) but purchased it since, belike by his own penny. Or have you not given him (quoth Martin the Medium) an Italian fig? n● no Matt. Martin Iu. in Thes. That's a Machiavellian trick; and some of your mates are better acquainted with it. Martin might die of figs but not of reasons. Marry for all sorts of Figs I will not swear, let them inquire it; for Martin was a great surfeter. Or have you not choked him with a fat Prebend or two? His sons may be choked with le● cost. Much les good Sir, that were a death for an honest man; neither is there any one of all your crew, that would not be glad to die that death: but it will not be, except you will be installed in a hempen hood, (for you love neither silk nor miniver) and of that condition (young Martin) I dare assure thee four; and thy elder brother (as reason is) double the number, for double fee●. But to leave thy flim flam tales, and loitering lies (that canst do no other if a man should hang thee) the truth is this; which my little Martin knoweth as well as I, and you that are old Martin's friends, report it of my word; for it is as true as steel. After that old Martin, The true manner of old Martin's death. having taken a most desperate cause in hand, as the troubling of the State, and overthrow of the Church, (both which attempts at once, Alexander the Copper Smith, that did Paul so much harm, would never have adventured; nor Herostratus, that burned Diana's temple, by many degrees came near unto) and being therefore (and well worthy) sundry ways very curstly handled; as first dry beaten, T. C. & thereby his bones broken, A whip for an Ape. then whipped that made him wince, then wormed and lanced, that he took very grievously, The Theatre. to be made a may-game upon the Stage, and so bangd, both with prose and rhyme on every side, as he knew not which way to turn himself, and at length clean Marred: Marre-martin. the grief whereof vexed him out of all cry; and that if he were taken, it was to be feared he should be made a Bishop (of the fields) which name he never loved, and to wear a tippet, that he ever detested: but especially being drawn so dry (so as he could say no more,) Martin Iu. in conclus. whereby his radical moisture began to fail him, and his vital powers in such sort to decay, as he saw that he could not long continue; but especially, that his labours being so great, took none effect, but was termed, by some a Vice, by some a Viper, This Period Martin is long, but it containeth great store of necessary matter, and therefore you must bear with it. by some a Scismatique, by some a Traitor; and that every stage Player made a jest of him, and put him clean out of countenance, yea his own familiars disdained to acknowledge him, and so had both friends and foes, both good & bad, even the whole realm (save a few of his faction) that cried out shame upon him (having beside of old as many diseases as an horse both HH's and PPé's that had time out of mind possessed him, albeit he bore it out long with a lusty courage): the old gentleman began at the length, (being discouraged in his courses) to droop (as sorrow and shame tameth both man and beast) and to mislike himself (for he termeth himself unwise, Martin Iu. in Thes, In the poem. that is to say, a Noddy for meddling with it) and through mere melancholy fell into a fever (lurdaine) whereby he grew so costive, In conclus. Martin costive. as nothing came from him in three or four months space. And so having taken his bed, he fent for his Physicians, (whereof he had some choice) that knew very well the constitution of his body, (though not so fit to see into a water) who albeit at the first touch of the pulse, Martin's Physicians. that went very disorderedly, perceived that he was past cure: yet loath to lose so profitable a member to their commencing common wealth, they ministered to him a potion, Martin Iu. in concls. No such pills as Praehends. (for pills he could swallow down none) whereby (as it falleth out with such as are long bound) he voided certain uncertain and imperfect Articles for a farewell to Book making: Ibidem. but afterwards when they perceived that the force thereof wrought so strongly upon him, as that it purged away all the conscience, wit, and honesty he had; and that Purgarentur ea, Ibidem. quae purgari non oportuit (a deadly sign, grounded uponan undoubted maxim of their Physic) they came unto him, & with tears in their eyes, told him that there was no way with him but one; and therefore wished him to set his worldly affairs in order, The 〈◊〉 resolution of Martin's death. that no controversy might grow amongst his, after he was gone. Wherewith Martin, Martin's answer to the Physicians. fetching a deep sigh: Nay (quoth he) do what I will, I may not hope for that, unlikely it is, that I should make peace after my death, that did nought else but make bate while I was alive. And withal, calling his sons (these two scapethrifts to him, who like a couple of good and virtuous Babes stood grinning all the while, as glad they should enjoy their father's Patrimony, and be chief Martin's themselves) and wring the elder by the hand, with another great sigh, said to them as followeth. Oh my sons: I see my doings, Martin's oration at his death to his two sons. and my course misliked of many, both the good, and the bad; though also I have favourers of both sorts) marry very few of the good indeed). The Bishops and their train, Martin Iu. in Thes. In the proem. though they stumble at the cause; yet especially mislike my manner of writing. Those whom foolishly men call Puritans, like the matter I have handled; but the form they cannot brook: His fathers own words. so that herein, I have them both for mine adversaries. And unwise I was, I confess, to undertake the matter. And not only that, but (which much more grieveth me) I perceive that every stage player, The causes of old Martin's sickness, sorrow and shame. if he play the fool but two hours together, hath somewhat for his labour: and I that have taken as great pains, as the veriest fool of them, have travailed with my toys, now these two years, and gained nothing, save that I have gotten many thousand eye witnesses of my witless and pitiful conceits, Martin Iu. in conclus. Martin Senior in work for C. and ameverie where noted for an ignominious fool and dig●ised Ass. I had thought that my works sauced with those i●sts would have had both speedier access to the greater States, The great states beholding to Mar. that think their grave heads cannot be moved to weighty matters but by jests. and better success with the common people; for the humours of men in these days, especially those that are in any place are given thereto. But sure I was deceived: The one, are wise, and like of no such fooleries: & the other, now weary of our stolen mi●th, that for a penny, may have far better by odds at the Theatre and Curtain, and any blind playing house every day. These things with other which I will keep to myself, that more nearly touch my conceit (for my conscience alas is purged and gone) to tell you the plain truth, have broken my heart, and I am now no man of this world: which I must tell you in counsel, I take in good part, for that in very deed, Martin feared a shrewd turn. I feared a worse turn: that if you my sons take not the better heed, may hap befall you. And though I can scarce speak any more: yet will I strain myself, to use a few words unto you (for that none but you & our friends be here) which receive from me with good regard, as you tender the stuffing of your doublet collar, being your father's last farewell; that may do you good, if you have the wit, or grace (which I much doubt) to mark them well. Three things there are (my sons) that were my bane, Three causes of Martin's death. and whereby (which grieveth me most of all) I did greatest hurt to the cause I undertook, and most grievously offended, both God, and the world. The first was my foolery; 1 Foolery. unfit (in truth) for the matter I handled. For though I know jesting is lawful e●en in the greatest matters, Martin Senior in work for C. and that the Lord is she author both of mirth and gravity, yet after that some of our companions, had dealt sagely in the cause, and gained good credit with some of some sort; in leapt I (like a woodcock I must confess). with twattling tales, Martin Senior in his Pistol and work for C. and Epitome. of Sir jefries Aletub; and of Ganmer Gurton's needle; and of beef and brews; and rubbing of bowls; and cussins, and livery coats; and leadeu shoeing horns, and wooden daggers, and ●xecombes, and such like tr●mperies: with my fond phrases of parsous, Fukars, and Currats, Confocation house, Paltripolitanes: so, ho, how, h●: h●: Tse, Tse, Tse: The quintessence of Martin's wit. whoop and hall●we: fleering, leering, ieeringe and such paltry peering (that I am now ashamed to talk of) in my Epistle: and in my work for Cooper, Py, high, be, hold my cloak some body: I will so bumseage him; and the foolish tales of the King of M●ie at H●●ct●●de; and the boy with the red cap there: and such other twittle twattles; that indeed I had learned in Alehouses, and at the Theatre of Lanam and his fellows; and in one hour overthrew, what the wiser sort had been working, and with heave and shove, had reared up and set on end, many years before. Martin marred all with his foolery. And therefore my sons beware of that. The wooden dagger may not be worn at the back, where S. Paul's sword, hangs by the side: neither can he well find fault with the corner cap; that weareth the furred night cap on his head, Martin's wardrobe, a wooden dagger & furred night cap. as I did. These gambols (my sons) are implements for the Stage, and beseem jesters, and Players, but are not fit for Church plotters, nor common wealth casters, such as we are: which I must now confess was one my foul errors. And therefore (my good sons) avoid it, as you tender the service you have in hand; and hope one day, to sit aloft in your long wished for Consistory, amongst your lay Lordings, which your father hath lost for ever, through his foolery. The next means of my misery, was my ribaldry. 2 ribaldry. An homely term (specially of myself) but it is now no time to dissemble; and I will conceal nothing, that may tend to your instruction; whom I would feign bring to some wit & grace, if it might be, which I could never yet do. And herein I must confess, I called them, Asses and Old Martin throughout all his works. Dunces; that I knew far better scholars than myself. I noted small faults in them, as bowling, and by my faith, Martin Sen. in his Pistol. and such other trifles: and knew far greater in myself, and my purest brethren. Wherein, my part (I confess) had been, first privately to have warned them: whereas now, I have both broken the rule of the Gospel, and given the enemy's cause to speak eurill of the Gospel, which I cannot denic, they sound preach. I have most intemperately, raised against them, with most shameful and unseemly terms, The flower of Martin's sweet phrases. as Swinish, and Antichristian rabble, proud, popish, presumptuous, profane, paltry, pestilent, and pernicious Prelates, wainscot faces, Dolts, Asses, Beasts, Patches, knaves, kaitives', lewd swagges, ambitious wretches, and many other like most filthy phrases, which now grieveth me to the very heart to think of, fit (I confess) for Bedlam, than for our pretended purity. Wherein, Martin now seethe himself in his own glass. I have not spared (the more knave I) (and with that he struck himself on the breast) such as her Majesty hath made special choice of, for her Counsel; whereby also, I hindered our cause more at that time, than I did foresee: and therein to be plain, I showed myself the greatest Ass of all. A Machevillein trick of the Martinists yet in practice. Again (which worse was) many of them I slandered against mine own knowledge; & thought it enough, if I might but devise against them the vilest things of the world, to bring them in hatred with the credulous multitude: (a di●ellish trick, my sons, which I learned in machivel, Old Martin in his 〈◊〉 etc. but take heed of it for it asketh vengeance). As some to be Papists, whom I knew to be sound Protestants: some to favour the Spaniards, who I knew detested them: Some to be traitors, who my conscience told me were good subjects: yea (if I should speak the truth and shame the devil) far better than myself: whereby what I lost, you may consider of; but gained nought else, save that, which commonly liars do; which was, when I spoke the truth, no man would believe me, no not the veriest kennel raker, nor vilest rascal that was in a country, except he were of our crew; The greatest part of Martin's thousands are such. of which sort indeed, we have no small store. But sons, let these few words serve herein: for I am weary of this rehearsal, that hath been the very knife to cut my throat: and therefore (and you be wise) see that no such sharp stuff, do pass your weasel. And the best (when all is done) is to mend ourselves; Martin Iu. in Thes. In the prome old Martin's own words. that the Lord knoweth have the greatest need thereof, even of all others, the best of us, be they never so bad. The third, and last means that hath brought me to my last end, was worst of all; and that was (woe is me therefore) my Blasphemy. Blasphemy. For being once entered into the vicelike vain of foolery; and making no respect of men: I was carried most wickedly, like a wretch as I was, in a scorn against the saints: of GOD, the Scripture of GOD, and GOD himself. I called mine own mates, Sainsts; and his Saint's Sirs: wherein I spared, In his holy Pistol. neither David, nor Peter, nor Paul, no nor the blessed mother of Christ herself: oh vile varlet that I was, (and therewith he whimpered and put finger in the eye, which was some sign of grace) whom the spirit of God himself said, Martin mocks the Saints. speaking within her, that all generations should still call blessed. Preserreth his own Saints. For she is blessed, and a glorious Saint: and I a shameful wretch, and most miserable miscreant. Yea the Scriptures themselves, I made a mock of: jesteth with the Scriptures. for to a text of S. Peter, I tacked on a blind jest, of the Bishop of Rochester's benefice: and made a fools motley of it, like a profane & blasphemous kaitife as I was: whereby I moved all sorts of people, In his Lucianlike Pistol. that professed any religion, to detest & condemn me for a most manifest Atheist: of which humour, I fear, many of our hottest favourites be. But let that rest: and let them look to it themselves, and others, whom it concerns: and to end with you, of whom I have greatest care (being the lively image of myself whom I must leave behind me that may continue the memory of our house): this is the short & the long, and the some of all. Avoid these three rocks, whereon your father hath made his shipwreck: Foolery, ribaldry, and Blasphemy. Be quiet at home; we have troubles enough abroad. It is no time now to play the fools: Wise men indeed care for no ●ooles. wise men's heads are occupied about great matters, & they have better means to make them merry. And touching the matter you strive for, Martin's mark. take heed what you do: you shoot at Church livings; you hope to have the spoil. See what hath come by it in Scotland: Foresee what will become of it here: forget not the last partition. Omnia in adversum spectantia, nulla retrorsum. Remember the shreds that fall into the Tailor's hell, never come back to cover your back. (I m●ane the claws of our ravenous brethren) If you play the goose, and lend them a feather to feather their shaft withal, they will shoot you through: Martin plays the goose. and then will you creak out too late, as he did, Hei mihi quod propr●s pennis pereo. And so will you Sons both, like a couple of goosecaps, (if you look not to it) as your father did, with your own goose quill. Let them once cut a helm for their hatchet, but of a branch of you, and they will cut down all the wood handsmooth: for the which you can blame nothing, but the foolish handle. The Eagle, watcheth for jacke daw, till he have broken the shell, Martin like lack daw. that he may run away with the kernel. So as, though they persuade you to chatter like Pies, yet they will make right jacke daws of you. They will praise you, as the fox did the foolish Crow: and call you fair birds, as white as the driven snow, and make you open your mouth to sing, after their pipe, that they may deceive you of the meat, you have in your mouth. And when they once have i● they will then say to you, Nec vocem (stulte) nec mentem habes. A●ue Peri phrasis of Martin. That is, (Martin) you have played the fool for us, and you shall have a fools reward: that is, a flap with a fox tail: and then shall you be as very dogbolts, as now the other are dunces, with them. They will commend you to the skies, as the Wolf did the Conie, and the Ram; and say to you, O you are no ravenous beasts; you content yourselves with grass; you eat no flesh; you feed, and cloth others: but at the last, he will eat you both (quoth Rei●old the Fox who is mine author). Martin the Father and his two younglings. For his two sons are; Empty belly, and Never be full, and himself is called Devour all. To conclude, (for it is now no time to fiddle out fables, though it be the fittest learning for your capacities) The beasts you hunt withal, must have all. And this will be the end of all, after your hot hunting; So●● hoc audito abierunt tristes non ausi mutire contra lupos. And so I will end: for these are the things, that have ended me. And therewithal, lifting up himself on his pillow, he commanded the elder Martin, to go into his study, and to fetch his Will, that lay sealed in his desk, A fit Label for a ●●beller. and bound fast with an hempen string: which when he had brought, he commanded to be broken up, & to be read in their hearing; which was as followeth. After he had begun with the usual style; Martin's Will. next touching his body, (for it should seem he had forgotten his soul: for the party that heard it told me, he heard no word of it) he would, should not be buried in any Church, The place of his burial. (especially Cathedral, which ever he detested) Chapel, nor Churchyard; for that they had been profaned, with superstition: but in some barn, outhouse, or field, (yea rather there then fail dunghill) where their privy prophesyings had been used; without bell, pomp, or any solemnity; save that his friends should mourn for him in gowns, and whoods, of a bright yellow; the whoods made of a strange fashion, for no ordinary thing contented him (belike with a crest after Hoyden's cut) and Minstrels going before him; The manner of his burial. wherein he would have a Hornpipe at any hand, Mourning apparel. because he loved that instrument above measure: the rest he referred to their discretion; but a Rebuke, and a Shame, in my opinion, Mastins Music. were the fittest fiddles for him. Minister he would have none to bury him, but his son, or some one of his lay brethren, to tumble him into the pit. He would not be laid East, and West, (for he ever went against the hair) but North, His manner of lying. and South: I think because ab Aquilone omne malum; and the South wind ever brings corruption with it. Tomb he would have none, Grave. (for fear belike that his disciples finding the monument, would commit some Idolatry to it) nor Epitaph upon his grave, Inscription. but in some post, or tree, not far from it, he would have only engraven; M. M. M. Whereby his sons say, he meant; Memoriae Martini magni. But I think rather, this; M●nstrum Mundi Martinus. This being thus provided for, afterwards ensued his bequests, Martin's Legacies. in manner and form following. Inprimis, I give and bequeath, to Martin Senior, my eldest son, and Martin junior, my younger son, His Knavery and Ribaudry. jointly, all my knavery, full and whole; together with my ribaldry, with my two Manners of lying, His two Manners of lying and slandering. and slandering, annexed thereunto, to be equally divided betwixt them: and for want of heirs of their bodies, unlawfully begotten (or else in this land they are not inheritable) to my heirs at large, of the house of Martinisme: requiring them to use it more wisely, and in other cases than I did. Item, all my foolery I bequeath to my good friend Lanam; His Foolery. and his consort, of whom I first had it: which though it be now outworn and stolen, Lanam look to your Legacy. and far inferior to his, yet to him it belongeth of right, and may serve (perhaps) for young beginners, if it be new varnished. Item, my scolding and railing, I bequeath to my dear Sister, His scolding and railing. Dame Law. and to her good gossips, of the household of Martinisme, & to their heirs female for ever. Item, to my ●ealous brother Wig. I bequeath the Vicarage of S. Pools; His Vicarage of S Fools. And for that I could never abide now residents, he shall be resident thereon, during his life; the Patronage thereof, always reserved to my two Sons. Provided alway, that ●one shall have 〈◊〉 but a Martinist; A good proviso. and he not to be admitted by any Bishop, but by the lay Martinists of the same Parish: wherein I will have no difference to be made, betwixt the veriest fool, and wisest man; but all men shall have their voices indifferently; because it is a matter that concerneth all, and everic one particular, of that family. Item, I bequeath to my dear cozen P●ag. my cradle, swaddling clouts, His Cradle. and cast linen; for that I hear, he is like to prove a father of many children, whom I doubt not one day he will make all Martinists. Item, I bequeath to Greenewood, Browne, and Barrow, my good friends, my parrock of ground, lying on the North side of London, His house by London. and abutting upon three high ways, whereupon standeth a Cottage, built triangle wise, with the appurrenances; only for the term of their three lives; reserving the reversion thereof, to my two sons, and the heirs of their bodies as before, Inheritance to the Martinists. and for want thereof, to my heirs at large, of the family of Martinists for ever. Item, I bequeath to my lay brethren, my works of machivel, with my marginal notes, and scholies thereupon; His works of machivel. wishing them to peruse, and mark them well, being the very Thalmud, and Alcoran of all our Martinisme. Item, I bequeath to all the friends and favourers of that faction, for a gentle remembrance, a Ring; wherein shall be engraven, Rings for remembrance. on the inside; Nitimur invetitum: and on the outside, St●●crum plena sunt omnia: wherein I will have Waldgrane the Printer, and cliff the godly Cobbler, especially to be remembered. Item, I bequeath all my plots, and models, that I have drawn, His plots and models. of Churches, & Common weals, (a matter of great importance) to the number of twelve, for every month of the year one, both for the one and the other, to our chief builders, (you know their names) to dispose of at their pleasure. Item, touching my Wardrobe, I bequeath all my apparel, His Wardrobe. equally to be distributed betwixt my two sons: provided, that my eldest son shall have my best suit; as Coat, hood, Coxcomb, and babble, and all the rest suitable thereunto. Last of all, I give and bequeath my affections to Bridewell; His entrails. my senses to Bedlam; my conditions to Newgate; my heart to the beasts; my bowels to the birds; and my body at the discretion of my overseers: that is, (I say) neither in Church, Churchyard, nor Chapel of ease, nor any place appointed by order, for that purpose. The rest of all my goods, and Chattels, not before bequeathed, His goods. especially my imperfect works, and waste papers, I give and bequeath to my two martin's, whom joindy I make my executors, and I appoint my especial good friends Prichard and Penrie to be mine overseers; His oue●see●. and to each of them an Aduouson: To the former of small Wittam: and to the other of little Brainford, now in the possession of Pag. and Wig. for he hath a plurality; reserving the Patronages, and with the conditions as above. And for that I know the civilians are not my friends: The proving of his Will. for in my foolery I called them See-villaines, (which was foolishly done of me, for they might see us, as well as others) and that I shall hardly have any thing proved at their hands; and my will being a prerogative case, for that my doings are dispersed over the whole land, will hardly pass with such expedition, as is convenient: let my executors perform the legacies, & let them prove it, or disprove it, at their pleasure. For you may live to see the day, (if you handle your matters wisely) which day I hoped myself to see, when all wills shall depend of your wills, and come to be proved in your Consistory. Witnesses P. T. B. E. M. F. G. K. Witnesses. Copia vera. This being done; it was not half an hour, Martin's death. but he began to faint: and turning about on his left side, he belked twice: and as my friend Pasquin reporteth very truly, the third time he belked out his breath. The Physicians, His Anatomy. for that they doubted of his disease, though they knew he wanted no imperfections, would needs have him cut up, where they found a wonderful corrupt carcase. His Heart, His Heart. great, yet hollow; (as before many guessed) especially to the peace of the Church, and quiet of the State. Lungs. His Lungs, huge and made to prate. His Spleen large, Spleen. that made him so gamesome. His Gall, Gall. wonderfully overflown with choler, that made him so testy, & wayward withal. His Stomach, Stomach. full of gross and salted humours, that procured him that same Caninum appetitum, that he had, and unquenchable desire, to devour all. His Entrails full of filth, Entrails notwithstanding he had uttered so much before (marry of late days indeed, as you heard, he voided nothing). I pass over the rest, whereof there was not one good part, but all disordered (as he showed himself alive) and clean rotten. Tongue. I had forgotten his Tongue, which was wonderfully swollen in his mouth; I think by reason of his blasphemy. But when they came to open the Head, Head. (a strange case) they found no crumb of brain within it. Wherefore having bestowed his bowels in a ditch, (for they might not carry them farther from the place) and filled up his hungry belly (that could never be full, Spicing. while he was alive) with coal dust; for spice they would not bestow, (his carrion being not worth it) and saw dust they could have none: They wrapped him in a blanket, (like a dog to be canuasde) for that all others are lapped in sheets, Shrude. (and he loved ever to be singular) and so threw him under board. The next night after, His Burial. (for the horrible stink thereof, because his body was so corrupt) and for that he durst not in his life time be seen by day, being a night bird; they carried him forth in the dark; and by reason he died excommunicate, and they might not therefore bury him in Christian burial, and his will was not to come there in any wise; they brought him unawares to a dunghill, Mar. Grave. taking it for a tumpe, since a Tomb might not be had, and there cast him in. And so, if any man will know where Martin lies; let him understand, that he is endunged in the field of Confusion's ● enditched in the pit of Perdition: and cast over with the dirt of Derision: and there lieth he; and so I leave him, with this Catastrophe. Sic pereant comnes Martini & Martinistae. And this is the very truth of Old Martin's death, which if the young martin's, or any Martinist of them all deny; I cast him here my Mitten upon the quarrel. The true Copy of such Epitaphs as were made by old Martin's fu●otites, and others for him. YEllout thou earth, and ye two lights of heaven; Ye Graces three, and Elements four on high: Ye senses five, six song notes; Sciences seven, Eight parts of speech, and Muses nine mourn by: Weep our ten Tribes, with sects ten times eleu●n: Ring out thy Noon, (O twelve a Clock) and ●rie. But chief wail our orders four and twenty, Martin is dead, our Master dear and dainty. Grex Martinistarum. NOw Martin's dead, the type of all our hope: And that our building leans, and lies aslope: If men might hang, when they have lust thereto, I know for my 〈◊〉, what I would straight do●. qd. Pen. ARt dead Old Martin? farewell then our schools, martin's thy sons, are but two paltry fools. qd. Pri. A Dieu both awl and bristles, now for ever; The shoe and sole (ah woe is me) must sever. Bewail mine Awl, thy sharpest point is gone. My bristles broke, and I am left alone. Farewell old shoes, thumb stall, and clouting leather, Martin is done, and we undone together. qd. cliff the godly Cobbler. AWay with silk, for I will mourn in sack. Martin is dead, our new sect goes to wrack Come gossips mine, put finger in the eye; He made us laugh, but now must make us cry. qd. Dame Law. MY hope once was my old shoes should be stitched, My thumbesygilt, that were before b●pitcht, Now Martin's gone, and laid full deep in ground; My gentries lost before it could be found. qd. Newmanthe Cobbler. Sundry other Epitaphs his friends have made for him, but they run secretly amongst them, & none may see them, but such as are of that family. But these that follow are framed by some friends of theirs that are yet unknown, but wish to be better acquainted with them. YE Martin beasts, bewail this woeful ha●; Both Martin Apes, and drunken martin's all; Martin your mast, alas hath caught a clap, And Martinisme, with him, is like to fall. qd. R. M. FArewell old Martin, and three Ms. with thee; Mirth, Madness, Mischief, in the highest degree. qd. R. C. THou didst reprove me, for my dogs of late; Thyself being worse, than any Cur I keep. My dogs bite none, but where they justly hate: Thou those, that never hurt thee, bitst most deep. But hadst thou lived, my dogs had hunted thee, Now thou art dead, all carr●on they do flee. qd. D. K. LAment you fools, ye vices make your moans, Ye Ribaulds, railers, and ye lying lads: Ye schismatics, and Sectaries, each one: Ye Malcontents and ●ke ye mutinous swads: Ye Machivelists, Atheists, and each mischievous head: Bewail, for Martin your great Captains dead. qd. N. N. HA, he, tse, tse py, high, see fortunes wheels, So how, Mad Martin hath turned up his heels. qd. R. L. London lament, the East, that sticks on sand: The West, that stands before the stately hall: The North, the bower, that's bound with triple hand. The South, where some at Watering catch a fall, Newgate, and Bedlam, Clinke, and Bridwell bray, And ye Crows cry, for ye have lost your pray. qd. R. R. YOu say, that Martin at the Groin was marred; It was not so, as I for truth have hard. But whether so, or no, it is all one; A great good turn so bad a beast is gone. qd. W. T. MArtin the great, what? railer, fool, or liar, Is dead. How? Drowned, or burnt, or hanged w●● he? No, these are kept for his eldest scurvy squire And younger brat; as you may shortly see, qd. T. L. MArtin denied that Christ went down to hell: Yet he himself is theher now descended, Then did he more, than Christ (belike) could well: But all this doubt shall in this sort be ended: Christ did descend, and did return thence too, Which he cannot, and therefore less can do. S. I The lamentation of the saltpeter man. MArtin I would, long since, thou hadst been dead, And thy two sons fair buried close by thee: Then had I not by thy fair words been led To this foul place, that now i● happened me: But were I out; ere shackles I would shake, Of all your bones gunpowder would I make. The Authors. Epitaph. HIc jacet, ut pinus, Nec Caesar, nec Ninus, Nec magnus God winus, Nec Petrus, nec Linus, Nec plus, nec minus, Quam clandestinus, Miser ille Martinus, Videte singul●. O Vos Martinistae Et Vos Brounistae, Et Famililovistae, Et Anabaptistae, Et omnes sectistae, Et Machivelistae, Et Atheistae, Quorum dux fuit iste, Lugete singuli. At gens Anglorum, Praesertim verorum, Nec non, qui morum, Estis bonorum, Inimici horum, Ut est decorum, Per omne forum, In soecula soeculorum, Gaudete singuli. FINIS. Qd. MARPHOREUS. The conclusion to the two young martin's. ANd now pretty youths, that your Father's funerals are ended, we shall have some nugifrivolous leisure to talk with you; which shall be doubt you not with speed convenient. For as there want not desperate Dicks amongst you, to write, and (if opportunity served) no doubt to work anything, Martin shall not want Antagonists. be it never so mischievous: so are there you shall well know it, some Sco●uolas that have vowed by all lawful means to remove, such proud and pestilent Porsenna's, as you, and your mates are, from the desperate siege of our walls. In the mean space, that you may continue your father's sweet memory, and good credit, amongst us; play still the desperate, and shames Swadds as you have begonn; for you couch your Coddsheads; and your paper cannot blush, nor yourselves neither, if you durst show your faces, being past grace. Only, one pretty grace you have, (specially you Sir Martin the More. K.) that if any man anger you (as some did of late, Martin's chief grace. and more doubt you not will a little better) your Ass' heels, are up straight, and you wince, Martin learn● to climb gibbe●●s. as if you had a swarm of Bees behind you, and you skip up straight to the top of some gibbett; where indeed you may be bold (being all tenements belonging to your chief mansion house) and in the name of another, you play the part of your own proper person, which is (as your other brother tells you) as if you should be taken by the Constable, for cutting of a purse; you would by and by cry out, and say to him; O Sir your nose sits not right on your face, which, albeit, it be a pretty thievish grace: yet you use that so like a fool to, Two foolish tricks of Martin. as it looseth the grace, that (for want of 〈◊〉 grace) otherwise it might 〈◊〉 had For first 〈◊〉 Wi●● 〈◊〉, when you know not who bo●d you, you strike him that first 〈◊〉 your foolish head. You are so afraid of Sa●●● that you 〈◊〉 (like a woodcock) ●●●ie thing that gird● you comes from thence, for that there first began your bane. And then like a Noddy, because one saith that your works should pass the way of all waste writings, The whip for the Ape. you give him his own word again, and make him Gr●●me of a close 〈◊〉, which office if he had (but he leaveth it to such cleanly ma●es as your noun good self) the fees I dare say for him, (Martin) should be yours. And because he tells you of the gallows, that both you deserve, & cannot but befall you: you come in with the fame again; which shows you to be but a doltish dunce, and make us a speech fitting your own self. But Sirrah, see you learn your lesson perfectly, and have it without book ad unguem, A friendly admonition to Martin Senior. when it may stand you in steed, that when you come to your climbing, that is up Newgate, up Hurdle, up Holborn, up Tyburn, up cart: Martin's climbing. (as if you follow your rebellious vain, that shall be proved, you are like shortly to do, if you happen upon your saltpeter man's and your two fugitive printers good luck) and to take real, and actual possession, not of the single gibbe●, but of the triple trestle, your undoubted inheritance, that your father left you, which ye reserve (as reason is) for yourself, and your friends as your only Prerogative, Martin's Prerogative. you may pronounce it perfectly, to the edifying of your brethren, and make a better end than you have done a beginning. In the mean space we have provided you steed of a single) a triple Epitaph, (in Martin Seniors Epitaph. to be engraven, not on your grave (for you will never come to the worship, to have so much as a ditch, or a dunghill, as your Father had to lie in) but in the three posts, of your place Paramount, in worship of the Father, and his two sons, which is as followeth. Who marks the scope whereto vile Martin's words do tend: Will say a rope of right, must be at last his end. Upon the first post. HEre swinge●● he, One of th●● hree, Well known to be, rebellious mates. But this, le●d swad, His match near had, No not his dad, for foe to states. The second post. His heart, in mutiny, His tongue in blasphemy, His life in villainy, was his desire, By nature an Atheist By art a Machivelist, In sum a Sathanist, lo here his hire. The third post. Ye birds of the Sky, Both Crow, and pie, Come, and draw nigh. behold a feast. Tyburn your host, On his triplepost, Hath made a roast. and killed a beast. And so (gentle Martin) much good do it you: you see your fare for this time, and you are heartily welcome. Take this in good part, the next course shall be provided for your own●●ooth, and glut you better. Farewell Pasquin, and dispatch. FINIS.