THE MIRROR of Madness, or a Paradox maintaining Madness to be most excellent: done out of French into English, by ja. San. Gent.  
Imprinted at London in Fleetstreet, near to S. Dunston's Church by Thomas Marsh. Anno 1576.   

To the right woshipful Sir Arthur Champernon Knight, long health with increase of all prosperity.  
GReat is the force of fortune (Right worshipful (on either side, to welfare or evil fare, as Cicero the most abundant fountain of Eloquence confesseth, but far greater is that of nature, which, as Seneca saith, is a reason divine, sown in the world and the parts thereof. From whence all honest actions are derived as from there foundress, and by whom all things are maintained, as by their Preseruresse. Greatly it is to be wished, that nature, mistress and lady of living things, as a divine power, which to all men worketh all things for the best, were followed, not neglected: were embraced. not despised: and as every particular parson respecteth chief himself, and preferreth his profit before the commodity of the multitude, so hath she a special regard of all, not of some, of many not of a few, for then her force should fail, and living things should cease to live, men should become no men, the world no world, all things should be reduced to that Chaos and confuse mixture, which (as the poets feign) was in the beginning before beauty was given to the world. Some there be which endeavour to excel others or to be equal with others in learning, activity, and qualities commendable, as it were envying at their knowledges, because they do not countervail and surpass them, doubtless that emulation is good and proceedeth from nature: for it striveth for excellency, and seeketh to aspire to perfection, if we followed nature as she doth us, that is to say as she doth advise us, we should never tread besides the path, that golden age that was shortly after the beginning should eftsoons have recourse, common weals should be well ordered, and man's life well framed. Nature is now perverted by the corrupt customs of men, and an other Golden world far unlike to the other is crept in, whereof Tibullus the Poet maketh mention in these Verses.  

Aurea nunc verè sunt saecula, plurimus Auro  
Venit honos, Auro conciliatur Amor.   

Now golden are the times, and high renown  
For gold is sold, for gold eke love is won.   
This corrupt time hath continued many hundredth years, and nature is changed into a naughty nature, which doth well near infect the minds of all men, eating out that pure nature which is almost consumed, and few sparkles thereof remain: The chief cause and original hereof is a certain detestable desire engrafted in all men's minds of sovereignty, authority, honour and gold which one helpeth to the rest: for all things obey money and she alone beareth the sway. Love is little regarded and esteemed, and friendship in most men waxeth cold, which two, nature hath principally brought forth for the comfort and commodity of man: for man unto man is most comfortable and profitable, therefore the Greek Proverb saith 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 man is to man a God, your friendship and courtesy which Nature hath wrought in you (Right worshipful) moved me to address the few● leaves following unto you bearing witness of my good will and affection. Wherefore if you take it in good part, I shall not think my labour misspent, but requited: thus unwilling to trouble your worship with many words, I cease, wishing that fortune would favour and advance you, and Nature grant you long life.  
¶ Your worships during life. I S.   

To the reader.  
FRom foreign Realm, this treatise small,  
transported came  
To English coast, in French attire,  
still flitting Fame  
Doth blow abroad things once disclosed,  
in every land,  
In written words, which aye in Books  
shall firmly stand.  
Reprove me not, though fame by me  
enlargement take  
This trifling toy, this merry jest,  
for solace sake,  
Compiled was in foreign speech,  
I pardon crave,  
If any be, whom I herein  
offended have.  
For Cynic like the author here,  
with scoffs doth bark  
At men's mad deeds, which vainly bent  
no reason mark.  
Wherefore in earnest some will take,  
that which in jest  
Is meant of me, in doing so,  
they do not best.  
Receive and read with merry cheer,  
(good Reader) this  
With reasons rule, amend if aught  
be done amiss.  
Tutto per il Meglio.   

The mirror of Madness.  
AS every thing shooteth to his end & scope, and according to the end is worthy or unworthy, praised or dispraised, vile, or excellent, base or commendable singular or vulgar, so when the thing obtaineth his perfect end, it is most set by, but when the perfectest of ends is compassed and achieved them is it an honour to have won the goal. Certes the Philosophers have made an endless disputation about ends: the Platonics one ways: the Stoics an other, the Peripatetics the third way, the Epicures the fourth, and all these contrary one to an other, full of diversity and disagreement, so that it should be no marvel for a blind man to grope sithence be that seeth cannot find the way, now if I show a chief end easier to be found out then all these, unto the which all these shoot and have their recourse and in the which they are contained, will there not a new Sect of Philosophers arise up even of themselves and say with me that Madness is best: Verily this were no hard matter to be proved for even upon madness have they invented new ways, strange devices, and forged innovations of ends, every man to eat out vain glory from an other. Now since the original of vain glory is Madness, and as the Latin Poet rudely singeth Insania, gloria Vana: Vain glory is Madness. Which eating the heart, saith Plato, even as a continual Worm, and as the Gripe doth he liver of Titius as our poets feign, endeth all in itself where it first had his beginning: so then, Propter quod unumquodúe tale & illud facit magis tale. Whatsoever thing maketh the thing such, the thing whereby it is made, is of necessity more such. But by the reason of Madness, that is to say, the matter, Philosophers books are esteemed, & accounted most excellent, therefore of Consequence Madness itself is without comparison. Now let us see which of them will prove best, the Mad man, that is as I have proved the notablest Philosopher. And first to begin with Zeno the Stoic who said, That the chiefest end of man's life was virtue which he calleth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, that is to say, The chief and perfectest Good, the way whereunto to aspire passeth all man's reason as he hath framed and invented it. For this granted, that all men be without perturbations which will reach this end, what is it else to say, but that all men are worse by his sentence definitive, than Bedlams.  
The king commandeth me to serve in his Wars, if I slay him that came to slay me, or if I revenge my dead friend upon the body of my yet living enemy, it was but for good will, and not for anger: Why so I pray you? Forsooth Zeno saith so. If I take a malefactor, which hath either despoiled me of my goods, or good name, peradventure some other of my liege's subjects, & arrayn them at the bar and sue him to death therefore: I did it not for anger, but for good will to the party: why so I pray you? Forsooth Zeno saith so. If I see my wife violated before mine eyes & I come to her succours, & endamage the Traitor of my body, and the Adultecesse a like, I did it for friendship, and not for malice: Why so I pray you sir? Forsooth Zeno sayeth so. All these things aught to move a wise man, and yet this man is so Choleric, that he graspeth nature fast by the bosom, we must not weep for our friends, our parents, or country no more than I must rejoice over them for their wealth: Yea although it touch myself to: the one, for that it is unseeming for a wise man, to conceive any grief, which he calleth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉: the other, for that neither barrel is better hearing, and that he calleth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is to say, surplusage of boasting. But here cometh in Aristotle and saith, A wise man's part is to measure his anger: and that he teacheth in his Ethics, and him taketh up Tully, in his Tusculans, with this fryendly taunt: Modun tu adhibes vitio? what (faith he) puttest thou a measure in a fault? Nothing against stomach (good Master Cicero) but if a man should ask you with out all choler I know you are a Stoic, you cannot be angry & that made you so stoicklike, in the face of the whole Court, to cry against Marcus Antonius, for very love I am sore, Sedens pro tribunali vino inebriatus & cructans frustis esculentis etiam judex & gremium suum & totum tribunal implevit: Sitting upon the Bench, being Chief judge, drunk with wine, & bealching in the faces of the people he filled with greasy gobbets his own lap, and the whole judgement Seat together. But to ask you in conclusion, what think you all anger, a Vice? what a little anger? what the lest? why, I perceive there is no mean, for all standeth in extremities: First Anger is a fault, and a vice most horrible, than Levity must needs be a vice, and as horrible as it: for all virtues, stand between two extremes, that is to say, Vices, as Aristotle well defineth, saying: Virtus est habitus in mediocritate positus rationi consentaneus: Virtue is an habit, consisting in mediocrity, to Reason agreeable. If all anger be nought, than all the contrary is naught: so by consequence, Virtue is jack out of office: & Virtue banished, Reason may go shake his ears, Reason exiled, what followeth but Madness? Therefore all turned to Vice, all is stark staring Madness. So is your master zeno's great end come to nothing. Ah sirrah, I am glad I have met with you, taise vous (saith Zeno) no more of that gear: I am sure there are as mad as myself. Whom think you? Forsooth Aristotle: yea sir, come forth & answer to your complaint, Zeno saith, you are as mad as he: let me hear what can you say for yourself: what purpose you, the chiefesse end of man's life? Forsooth I think felicity: Ah do you so sir? In deed sir, I do well remember, that in your School there are two kinds of felicity, the one consisting in Action, the other in Contemplation, and the first, you define after this sort, to be an Action perfect, in a perfect life: now Aristotle, I pray you, tell me where is a perfect life to be found? Sir, my works speak for me. Ah sir, I remember well in deed I read thus, There is (say you) a simple felicity, and there is a felicity Aggregate: The simple Felicity, consisteth of Virtue, and they are not able to stand in zeno's School, who magnifieth them a yard above you: Simple felicity (quoth you) alas poor shoten hearing, this will not serve the turn: but let us view a little further, you say, that: Felix semper agit: The happy man is always occupied: tell me Aristotle I pray you, how, sleeping or waking? Both: well bowled Aristotle, hath your head been occupied whilst you were a sleep? why not? well answered Aristotle, I believe you well for not so little as the bridle wherewith you were snaffled like a pack horse, (you know what I mean) and I think your head as greatly occupied in sleep, to contrive an Alexander root, in steed of natures Alexander buds, why, good Master Aristotle, do not you confess that dreams come of humours, in your books, De somno & vigilia? if then humours work in sleep, wha● hath virtue to do, let her go tell chearye stones, & then God give you good night, thus is your Simple felicity simply proved. Now let us come to your Aggregate felicity, but what are the goods of fortune and body who so of any of these is destitute loseth name of happy: & what be the goods of Fortune? not as uncertain as herself, ebbing and flowing like the Sea, waxing and waning like the Moon, flourishing & fading like the flowers, posts of lusts, slaves of time, and altogether unstable? as for the Body either disease withereth all calamity changeth, or death destroyeth and admit both were present, the goods of Fortune, and Body, let reason surcease in mind, which cannot be, but where virtue is, which is not to be found as I have proved, & all is turned topsituruye from discretion to madness, Ah sir, how do you by this time? let me feel your Pulses, me thinketh the fever is sore upon you, o Gods Lord I am deceived, but I perceive, where the shoe wringeth you, you seek your refuge, on God's name as felicity Contemplative, and therein you are altogether wrapped in the skies: your mind is altogether upon the Church, Forsooth of men, we must become Gods: of Terrestrial, Celestial: of bodies, minds: & to conclude, of men, mad men: We must not hincke on the kitchen, because of the parlour▪ nor of the parlour, because of the chamber: nor of the chamber, because of the garret: nor of the garret, because of the air: we must live far above the nature of Crows. Thus must men diet themselves with contemplation: thus lay ye bolsters under men's elbows, teaching them, to be secure, and idle, and to grow to the stole with contemplation. Is not this of all Madness the most extreme? Come hither, come hither Tully, let me hear thy judgement, thou sometimes madest a book, as concerning an orators, tell me when thinckeste thou such a one willbe? surely when the Alps and Apennine hills, stand bore without snow. Come hither Plato, thou madest as great a work as he, of the Common Wealth, when thinkest thou that such a one will ever arise as thou speakest of? surely not as long as my works be extant: doubtless then are ye both stark staring mad now. Set the ones Common Weal, the others Orator, the third Felicity, together in equal balance, & thereto of our time (if ye please) the Courtier of Count Baldesser Castilio, to help the scale as likely to be as any of these, and the excellency of all these things, is altogether Madness. Now to the Platonic, methink I here Aristotle accuse him hither, I warrant you a good scholar that can speak so well of his master, and yet I think in this place not without some good reason. Plato putteh his chiefest end in a certain thing which he calleth Idea, which is nothing else, but a conceit of mind in Imagination, whereby in the same we gather some thing: as for example, in Imagination, I conceive the nature of a Serpent, and by conceit I frame unto myself an Image: this Image so framed in Imagination, is called Idea. Now Plato how can Idea be Summum bonum, The sovereign good Aristotle, saith it cannot be: the greatest reason is, because it is in every predicament to be found, to use that reason only if it be in every predicament, as it must needs be granted, for all universals (as the Logitioners well say) are nothing else, but Conceptus animi, things conceived in mind, gathered and collected together, by a numbers of singulars, aswell in Accidences as in substances, as by this man, and that man, and so forth, from one to an other: I gather a whole nature, which is a man: so likewise, seeing a man tiding with his hawk on his fist, I gather a whole universal nature which is a living creature: Now Plato, if every universal be a Sovereign good, than every particular is a less good, but as the one is false, so is the other peradventure you will say, In suo genere: why then, where is the chief? Go further, every form conceived, is Idea, many of these be conceived in sleep, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, that is by mean of fantasy which is ever occupied, now if these Ideas bear the sovereignty, surely it is a fantastical sovereignty so as yet find you not that which you sought for. The Philosophers say, that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 soundeth Idea and that all forms, so resembled, be called by that name, and hereunto liken they the Soul, and doubt not to call Celestial nature's 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which the Latin Philosophers interpret Actus puri, pure Actions, segregate from all concretion mortal. Now certainly the Soul is not that, which Plato meaneth for it hath need of it, celestial Spirits are not it, for the Soul is of equal nature with them: Then is it some greater matter that we look, for perchance Plato ment that, which Aristotle could not perceive, for he hath always recourse Ad Opificem Formarum: To the shaper of forms, and to the principal form itself, the participation of which, we cannot enjoy, so long as in this life we remain: so than death is the end of this life, and the fruition of that form, the beginning of an other Moreover, Virtues excluded, as ye see, how shall the participation of that form be obtained and Plato himself confesseth, that the same is, Bonum inaccessibile, a sovereign good, which cannot be attained: what then is this life but mere Madness? and why may I not conclude with Solon, Ante obitum faelix nemo, Happy grave, happy man. The last Gentleman, me thinketh is fast a sleep in deed, I wear very loath to disquiet him, for the man hath a Bordeaux hammer working in his head, how say you Epicure, are ye awake? Ah well said, we may then talk with you by leisure, what is the chief good epicure? pleasure. How many branches be there of it? Four: which be they? rehearse the Articles of your belief.  
first I believe a cup of Wine is wonderful good, than I believe that custard, Tart and Marche●●ne, that minced Pies of the best sort, that Venery and Venison, that Quail, Fesaunte, Patriche & Plover with other such dainty wild fowl, that Oranges in Syrup, & Sirupes of all sorts, that comfits, Biscuits, and Caraways, that jelies of all colour, that Succettes, Marmalades, and green ginger, & briefly what soever delighteth mouth & throat, especially is to be regarded: marry sir here is an Article with all my heart, and of a substantial length, proceed: Thirdly, I believe that fine apparel, upon the which most cost may be bestowed, even to the highest bravery to glitter in Silks, and Velvets and to smell sweet of the Dung of a muskecat, to have the ca●pe full of Agglets and the bush of Feathers in the top brave and Bulloyne like the Chain of Gold five times double about the neck, and thereat a pendant ●ablet, and every finger beset with three or four rings, beside the great signet upon the thumb, and a pair of Gorgeous and perfumed gloves thereupon, lastly a great troop and train of men, and my Horse trimly trapped, with Velvet embroidered, set with golden Studs, and whatsoever appertaineth or maketh to pompous state and princely port that singularly is to be holden precious. Now doubtless you believe well, go further: fourthly, I believe that to have my house richly dight and hanged according to my state and condition, and in all parts furnished after the best manner, my chambers I say, Parloures and other such rooms hanged with Cloth of tissue, Arrace, and goold, my Cupbordes heads set out and adorned after the richest, costliest, and most Glorious manner, with one cup cock height upon an other, beside the great basin and ewer both of Silver and Gold, filled at convenient times with sweet and pleasant waters wherewith my delicate hands may be washed, my head recreated and my nose refresh, provided always that there be of all sorts to content and please the eyes of the beholder, I perceive ye know how to spend money, if you knew aswell how to come by it, proceed: Fyftlie, I believe that to have my chamber well perfumed, my bed softly made, my Cortaynes finely drawn, & my pretty Pigsney gingerly in mine arms, or else my wanton Ganymede is a thing even alone for my tooth: now doubtless you show bush natural Epicure, yet notwithstanding bold one as you have begun. Lastly, I believe to sleep even till noon, & then to arise to dinner, and then to borrow an undermeale of sleep again and then to walk a little be fore supper, to get a stomach, and at every meal to have my trull tricksy, and merry minion by my white side, and to make the square bones, or Gromeporters dance between two candlesticks, peradventure a whole night together: this with the residue of the Articles above mentioned, I take to be the chief, perfectest, and most absolute end of man's life. Now surely properly and deftly done Epicure, have you all said? You told me there were four branches of pleasure, which be they? eating, Drinking Sleeping, and Mutinge: how are you able to aspire to all this? this doctrine is so sweet, and so many resort to hear it, that it never, shameth his master: Of this Sect hath been a great number, aswell greeks as Romans. Truth we will remember, first Sardanapalus is to well known, whose death I am sure, the preaty pewlinge dames so much bewailed, that the tears fell down from their eyes, as huge as millstones: to let the residue pass and to come to Alexander, the great, who knoweth not that as upon a Madness he would needs subdue the whole world, even so, given to pleasure, he become of a Soldier a sawyer, of a captain, Captive, and of a noble Conqueror, a notable Haukeroure: the first original of this began in the wars pretended between him and the Amazons, whom when the Queen had seen, and he well fixed his Eyes on her, with wanton regards and countenances every sparkle kindled a brand, and every brand raised a flame, and so the flame seeking his issue took truce for affections sake, & raged upon the bodies of them both, thus was the battle of manhood turned to the battery of Cupid, whereof the end was this that the fortes of both their honours razed, and pleasure taking such deep root in the haughty heart of the Prince after many worthies slain by him in drunkenness, and royalty transported to tyranny, Poison become the end of pleasure. As for Heliogabalus, his Tower garnished with glistering stones, polished and set with gold, to fling himself down, if need we are: his Halters set with Pearl, and curiously wrought, to hang himself if need were: his sword so rich and costly guilt, engraved and set with Margaritee, to slay himself if need were, saved him not from the violent sword of his enemies. To speak nothing of Nero, whose end was most miserable and tyranny most insatiable, and pleasure in oft abominable. The like of Periander we read, and he a wise Philosopher, but a wild and savage Tyrant, whom pleasure in the end brought to end and destruction. If emperors, if the Conquerors of all the world, if many more beside tyrants, if Philosophers, if high, if low, if one, if other, search out pleasure so diligently, follow it so inordinately, wallow in it so shamefully, end with it so desperately, what shall I think, but that since all our life, is set on pleasure and pleasure altogether Madness, that all our life is Madness. Now excepting the vile and beastly pleasures, which are the causes, of these shameful ends, no man will say, but that all pleasures may be allowed, for all pleasures, moderately taken, are profitable, are honest, are necessary, profitable for that they prolong life, honest for that they be decently used, necessary, for without some pleasure, our life is nothing.  
And for this cause, nature invented them, but pleasure, as pleasure is of necessity Madness, yet honest, profitable, and necessary, as before is proved, Ergo. Madness is both honest, profitable, and necessary. But what if I make for Epicure, and prove, that all pleasures are good, and excellent, than I trust, I shall enforce the like consequence of Madness, my chief reason shall be a subiecto, for every accident, hath his excellency of his subject: now, if pleasure be in the most excellent subject: and the same Madness: then Madness for the excellency of the subject, must needs be most excellent: in the most excellent subject it is, as it may be with a wet finger showed: for what subject can be more excellent in Heaven, Earth, purgatory and Hell, next to God, or the Devil, than the most Holy, Reverend, and Renowned Father, the Vicar of christ, the successor of Peter, the Lieutenant of saint paul, & our Ladies chief Chauncelloure and Chamberlain, who hath all knowledge in the depth of his breast, all mysteries within the ambrie, & gross press of his understanding, who can do asmuch as Chryst can, by the virtue of saint Peter, and more than Chryst by the authority received from him, wherein he hath bound himself to his Holiness, in somuch that he is able to dispense with the New and old Testament, and to call things which are not, even as though they were, & of nothing to make something, and to created his crea, tour, whereby he giveth the same authority to Pryestes, and ghostly Fathers, likewise to judge all men without controlment, or check, or judgement of any other man, although he drew infinite heaps of souls to Hell after him, likewise in his mouth is every word established, & the least word thereof standeth to as great effect as the Bible, thus may Novatus rejoice, for his Heresies become Scripture, and above it, which was that for those that once fell, there remained afterward no repentance: thus may john the xxii triumph, who denied the immortality or everlastingness of the soul, affirming that there was neither Heaven nor Hell after death, and now his opinion is above Scripture, and Leo decimus hath no cause to complain, who said, he would have Wild foul in despite of God's teeth, and maugre the Bible, this is above Scripture. O holy governors of Peter's ship O blessed Porters that carry the keys both of Heaven and Hell, of the one to shut other men from thence, and of the other for surety of repairaunce, but he is Lord of all. 

Nec Deus es, nec homo sed neuter & inter utrum que  
Te deus elegit socium socialiter egit  
Tecum, namque tenet Caelum dedit & tibi terras.   

Ne God, ne man but middle plain thou art,  
God hath thee choose his fellow meat to be,  
And with thee played a right good fellows part.  
Reserving Heaven himself, and Earth for thee.   And yet his grocers and glossers worthiness stick not to call his Holiness Regem Regum & Dominum dominantium, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, of whose curse all the whole world standeth in awe, and trembleth as greatly as doth the Cat by the kitchen fire or else in the milk pan over head and ears. But to reckon up all his gross opinions, especially of Transubstantiation, will not every man confess the same to be a solemn Madness? mark how soberly it is proved 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which is as much to say, as-give us this day our daily bread, which they interpret give us this day our supertransubstantiated bread, fie, fie, Super sub, and trans, this is able to bring a man into a trance, they must have the Calf with the white face, they must have they know not what, and yet is their transubstantiation as good as before, if a man ask them what the Accidents be, they say visible, if ye ask whereof, they say of Bread, likewise of the tangible Accidents, and the gustable being demanded, they answer asmuch. Yet must we believe under pain of damnation, that every lousy dolt & bussardlye Sacrificer, may fetch down Christ from Heaven into the Pixe at a sudden, yet say they not to Crucify him, although that they grant him to be passable, otherwise he is not flesh, blood, and bone, borne of the virgin Mary, I will make but this reason, he said when he was living in human flesh in this world, hoc est corpus meum: This is my body, which verily was then living when it was spoken, otherwise surely would he have said Hoc est cadaver meum: This is my carcase Now how the Bread may be the incorruptible body considering the nature thereof, is object to our senses, I see not, I am sure the dead body they eat not, then be like they eat the living as it was before it was crucified, that were most absurd to grant. For the words of john are, Ci bus, quem ego dabo, ca●o mea est: The meat which I will give, is my flesh. And this Sinaxis was instituted before his death, to be retained and used after his death, admit the priest should lose one Host among a number as we read that once he did, going to visit a sick man, there is no other way to find the same again, but by viewing all the beasts that kneel about it, to mark whether there be ever a black Cow among the company that kneeleth on one knee, and then he shall know it is not for gracing, but for worship, or else if we cannot find him in deed, to do as I hard a merry Priest did once coming to an old woman & having lost his Host, he began to Coin an other of his glove, and approaching near to the beds side, willed the good old mother to gape and receive her maker, she greedlye opened her mouth, and he thrust in his white letheren God, which being somewhat touth & she toothelesse made a fowl agreement, at length having long chawed it, and unable to digest, she began to cry, is it he, Master Parson? it is he? I ipse he qui the which, mother quoth he, thus the poor woman endeavouring to swallow it was for her great devotion devoutly choked, if the Priest had been as graciously hanged all men wooulde have said, there had been but one Knave out of the way, and peradventure repentance might have overtaken him at the Ghostly Gallows, which never did in quiet bed, for as the fame goeth he died desperately, but to make conclusion we say not that christ was ever such a fool, to think to eat himself, or that his Mother was ever so unkind to eat her son or his Disciples their master, & that raw flesh without bread too, at the least for fear of surfeit, for I think they knew not how to make Aqua vitae in those days: We then confess with Augustine and say: unicum habemus Domini corpus semel revera in Cruce oblatum semper autem ipsius Fidei dentibus attritum: We have one Body of the Lord offered in deed once upon the Cross, but always broken by the teeth of faith. We confess with Ambrose, Caro Domini in Caelis caro est, in terris Fides est: The flesh of the Lord in Heaven is flesh, in Earth faith. And with Tertullian, Corpus Christi manducare nihil aliud est quam in Christum credere: To eat the Body of Christ is nothing else but to believe in Christ. Thus speaking one thing and meaning an other like Madmen we dispraise, yet praise we right Madmen, whose holy opinions and clerkly conclusions enforce us to think still that Madness excelleth. Ye have hard before little trifles, now behold and view at large the great and notable stage & triumph of Madness, now behold her in all her pomp, ruff, and iolitye, riding into the Capitol thorough the Roman gates and City most victoriously, with a thousand Captives and Pezauntes at her Chariot, she I say who before triumphed in Carthage over the puissance and power of Romans, under the most worthy and valiant Hannibal, now doth the like over whole Africa, judea, Assiria, Egipte, Greece, Germany, Spain France, Britain, and a number more under the most renowned and courageous Fabius Cunctator, Scipio Affricanus, Lucius Scaevola, Lucius Torquatus, julius caesar, & pompei the great: and before their time Caius Marius, whose sounding fame throw deadly dint of sword, hath won such glory immortal and achieved such praise, that neither the envious rage of greedy death, neither the churlish chaps of devouring time, neither the hurling poise of unconstant Fortunes wheel shall ever be able to impair, or remove the same from the siege of memory, & how came they to such high advancement? not by the prerogative of nobility, nor by the stately stem of Parentage nor by the sundry blasts of the light and vulgar sort, but by feats and deeds in Arms by Martial prowess, and hardy attempts, the parent whereof is War, battle, and Fight, wherein, what mayst thou else perceive but very Madness, the crashing Canon with rumbling, ratlinge and roaring thunderclappes, the Captains swelling, fretting and foaming at mouth, and setting up their bristles, the heads and quarters of men flying in the air, the hideous groanings and Cries of the wounded, here a whole rank cut of with a chain, there a whole number murdered by the sword, here the grayslye bodies of the slain, there the merciless stroke of the murderour, here the rage of the sword, Cuius imbuti semel vecors libido est, saith Seneca, Who once imbrued with blood still thirsteth after more, there the streams of blood, most pitiful to behold and shed withoutt all mercy in most abundance and sl●●ghter on every side: where is that noble Hector, which at one time slew so many thousand Grecians, burning and spoiling their ships most ruefully and doing so valiantly that both sea and land, and all Greece quaked to hear his name? where is Achilles, the stout and valiant, of whom the River Xanthus,, will tell marvelous things namely that he filled the same with dead bodies, in somuch that the stream was unable to bear them? these things are not without cause left to memory, and committed to the register of eternal fame, which Fame they obtained not but by Martyall feats, wherein consisteth the praise and proof of fortitude, wherein we well perceive nothing but plain madness, which notwithstanding bringeth with it most notable ends, for therefore we take war in hand to live in peace, and in war we show manhood to win Renown: propose therefore which of these two ends ye will, it shall not be amiss, for what can be more desired than peace in common wealth, and what is more to be embraced then renown? than make I this reason, what soever is good, and to be embraced, the same is so to be embraced, for the end, but the ends of War wherein fortitude exerciseth herself, are most excellent as before is proved, and war itself nothing else but Madness, as before is showed, therefore Madness is most sovereign and excellent. The like reason may be made Ab efficienti causa, for who seeth not that Wars are taken in hand for two causes, either to defend the Common weal or to revenge our injuries, that therefore whereby these things are wrought is most excellent, by war they are wrought, Ergo, it is most excellent, but war before is proved Madness, therefore Madness is most excellent. Do not all the four virtues concur together, linked as it were in one Chain, wheresoever therefore thou findest Fortitude, think also that there concurreth with it justice, Temperance, and Prudence, now if war lead all these virtues as it were by a string, as certainly it doth, for every man will confess that it is but justice to revenge Injuries, fortitude then executeth revenge, wisdom subministreth policy to revenge, temperance appointeth measure how far to revenge, then followeth consequently that Madness must needs be good, who hath for his aid so many virtues, wherewith it is guarded? but here some curious head will object, and say, Sir can a man be mad and modest, I answer yea, aswell as warlike and valiant for where one virtue taketh place there the residue ensue, thus may you perceive that nothing letteth Madness more to be modesty, than valiancy in battle to be fortitude, but every virtue is in his own nature singularly good, joined to an other more good, concurring altogether most good, & so make the thing to be wherein they be in madness they be as I have proved, therefore Madness is most good. All things in nature are grounded upon these two, Love, and Hate, and of (love to let Hate pass) there be many kinds, the Love of God, of our Parents, of our friends, of our Country, of our Wives and Children, and of ourselves, and all these loves nature inferreth, whereby we be combined and linked one to an other in full and perfect league and amity, now is there one love which beareth the stroke, the Love of procreation naturally incident to every one of us, guided as the poets feign, by the piercing shoot and amorous arrows of that little wanton boy Cupid, whose Golden arrow worketh Love, and leaded dart engendereth hatred, and alas what is Love, but a sweet hate of ourselves and a pleasant Madness, as Angelus Politianus notably recordeth in that book, which is entitled Stanza di Messer Angelo Politiano where he bringeth in Julian Medici's speaking to young Lovers, part of whose words in that place be these.  

Costui ch' el vulgo errant chiamo Amore  
E dolce ynsania   

A Madness sweet is he whom erring Love  
The common sort do call.   
And Fraunciscus Petrarcha, bereft, I suppose of his wits for the Love of his Lady Laura in his Songs and sonnets singeth thus: 

Veggio senz'occhi, e non ho linqua egrido  
E bramo di perir, e geggio aita  
E ho in odio me stesso, & amo altrui  
Pascomi di dolour, piangendo, rido  
Egualment mi spiace morte & vita  
In questo stato son Donna per vui.   

With eyes I nothing see, my tongue is lost:  
Yet do I cry and languish to my cost.  
Desirous life to end, yet help require,  
Self hate me burns while love stirs up the fire.  
With dole I feed myself, in tears I laugh  
At life and death a like I fling the staff.  
In this estate I rest Madam for you.   How say you by this gear, is Love now madness or not and yet as Count Baldessar Castilio saith, in his book of the Courtier, if an host of Lovers were in the field, and should hire every man but the cohortation of a weak woman to battle there would be in such bickering and such murder, and smiting down to please their Ladies, that after great hewing & flashing, they would lay their carckasses and manly corpses before their eyes in the open field, or else obtain such a precious and triumphant victory, that both sea and land should wholly be astonished, to hear the great renown & glory thereof, Although Mantuan we know being a lusty Freer, and restrained from his manelye appetites, and from the amorous girls, which peradventure be more desired then deserved, crieth out upon Love in this wise: 

Ludit amor sensus, oculos perstringit & aufert  
Libertatem animi & mira nos fascinat arte.  
Credo aliquis daemon subiens praecordia, flammam  
Concitat & raptam tollit de cardine mentem  
Nec Deus ut perhibent amor est sed amaeror & error.   

Love all the senses doth beguile  
and bleareth all our eyes.  
It cuts of freedom of the mind  
and makes us gape for flies.  
I think some furious fend of Hell  
the heart doth this inflame,  
And bringeth quite the same a down  
from lofty reasons frame:  
Ne is this Love a God in deed  
but lies and bitter bane.   Be it what it will be, it is certainly a burning fire consuming the sinews, and piercing thorough the bones, and eating out the peaceable quietness of the mind, even as a moth a garment, as a Grasshopper a green Herb, as a rust and canker all kind of Metal, in fire we see nothing but madness, for it burneth and wasteth all things most vehemently, in Love of every sort we perceive nothing but fire and zeal, for it fretteth the heart, and burneth it up most fiercely, either because of the thing that it loveth, already, obtained, or for the thing that it loveth to obtain it, which is the cause that poets in comedies, and Tragedies, have set forth Ad vivum, the sundry loves of sundry parsons, as of Ariadne, and Theseus, Medea and jason, Deianira & Hercules, Clytaemnestra and Hippolytus, Paris and Helena, and that which ovid singeth most for a wonder, the love of Narcissus & Echo: Pygmalion, & his Image: these are all set forth to show the nature of love most igniferous and fiery, which never is staunched but by death or desire whereupon this little reason may serve for proof, all fire is madness in his operation, every Love is a fire, therefore every Love is madness.  
But here by and by cometh Mounsieur Beaumains, and shaketh me by the fist, and saith sir. Where is your fisher town of Caletum, whoose chief Merchandise were Sprats and pilchardes, which made all our Country men sick of the yellow jandise, and of the white Leprosy: be shrew my head Thurlpole and Gardener, the one with his white rod, the other with his parsley mattock, well rescued the Town, when the plum boats of France came in, to offer a powdered bullies, in the worship of saint Nicolas to his Church and Temple there, I cannot tell, quoth I, where our friend Thurlepole was at that time I know where he was at one other time, videlicet at Rome with a certain noble man of England, who for honours sake shallbe nameless, for that he went more modestly to work then the other, as ye shall well hear, mark the Comedy I pray you, it chanced that these aforesaid entering into Room with solemn Procession, with Streamers and Banners, with bagpipes, Bellles and Basins, and all manner of solemnity, the Pope's holiness and mighty fatherhood in worship of Saint Bank the bawdy sent unto their lodgings two Lemons to season their wine with all for the great joy that he conceived of that little Kirke of England, that was lately skipte into saint Peter'S faith again and had put of the greasy buskines of that Heretic Luther, as he termed it, the temporal pear made answer thanking his holiness, that he had at, home an Orange that better contented him then his Leman.  
Nay quoth the other prelate (and put on stump Legs face on the matter I will never refuse our holy father's gentleness Et sic fuerunt duo in carne una. As for Gardener what should I speak of him, for I know he was aright gubbing monger of our Holy father's Fisheborde, and died accordingelye but I am sure that these loving worms with their cowplices, gave the Town for Love, because they would not have their Country men die of the lask, by mean of white herrings: yet I am sure, that their Love was plain Madness: yet all the Catholics from the most to the least commended it, therefore such Catholic Madness aught not to be spoken against. Now of virtues, let us surcease our communication, for as it hath been uttered, pleasures altogether Madness, yet nature hath invented them: but Omne simile generat simile, so by consequent, nature is Madness, yet what is better than nature? Naturan quip sequentes ducem nunquam aberravibus: saith Tully. using nature for our guide we shall never go amiss. And yet do we not see that many are born blind by nature, dumb by nature, fools by nature, made men by nature, ah goodly nature: but here they come with a goodly Wipe, and say, that particular natures may be hindered, but the universal nature itself cannot, as who should say, that particular natures proceed not from the universal: but admit we grant it true, what say they to these things that come? Preter naturam & Contra naturam: Monsters of nature, can nature do any thing against itself. For there is in these things, Motus & quies, there is matter and torme, and to conclude what is there not? yet are they borne contrary to the Laws of nature, and to natural things compared are monsters in nature, if so be that particular nature erred, in that it should bring forth, then was the particular nature so deceived mad, for nothing striveth against itself but madness: but being Contra naturam, in deed against all nature, as by common experience is proved (for monsters are in every place) if a man would but describe the monsters of India and Arabia, where monsters be most common, and of every sort infinite, this shift of Descante may go sleep in the bench hole, and so nature erreth universally, or doth not at all, for monsters be in those places naturally borne, Thus would they make nature tear her own coat and so by a consequent nature is Madness: but peradventure they mean in these parts, and so the reason may stand: for as it is in these parts most unnatural, to have a monster brought forth, even so for the most part whatsoever is there brought forth, is monstrous: but to leave this curious question which notwithstanding might be well prosecuted, for the question is of Madness, whatsoever is eternal, is nature and Virtue, Aristotle in his books, De Caelo et Mundo saith, that the World is eternal, and the reason is because it is a globe: and hath his circumference, and perpetual motion, now of all eternalles, the most eternal is surely Virtue, which being proved before to accompany Madness: maketh the thing itself, whereunto it is joined of like nature, Bonum quo durantius eo melius A good the more of continuance the better. But nothing can be of moor continuance than Virtue which as hath been already proved is turned into Madness, Ergo, nothing is better than Madness. All the whole head of man (as the wise affirm) is divided into three parts, the place of fantasy, the place of common distinction and the place of memory, fantasy conceiveth and offereth the forms of conceptes to common distinction to decern, common distinction to memory to retain, now manifest it is that the fantasy is deceived, and that it maketh man to offend especially when comen distinction giveth consent thereto, aswell in forms in reasons which it conceiveth, for example informs may appear by the strange devices now a days, great, big and boisterous, bumbarreld burst belled and burden buttock Breeches, the wearers where of sithence such gear was invented become square bounce buttocks whereof they need not greatly to be ashamed, for I believe no one thing hath so many qualities, first in war for want they may serve for great Drums, and if the King have need the worst breech in the company is able to command ten, twenty thousand at a clap in less than half an hours warning, as for the time of peace in it they serve to many purposes, first when he rideth they may serve very well for a pair of pulterers' paniers, secondly when he goeth they may serve for Collier's sacks, and lastly when he sitteth they may serve for fats to keep plate from rain and snow, & yet I had all most forgotten one thing that they may serve for counting houses for Rats to keep their reckeninges in, and for livery stables to keep quick cattles to rack and manger, and had not these profitable properties come to memory, I would peradventure have said that these inventions came from Bedlam in juda, but now knowing what they be indeed I can sing of them as the Poet sometimes did of the Harpies, which, defiled the meat of Aeneas' complices.  

Tristius haud illis monstrum nec saevior ulla  
Pestis, & ira Deûm Stigijs seize extulit undit   

There never rose more monster fell,  
or plague more dire and black:  
Or ire of gods or fiends of hell,  
from gulf of Stygian lack   
As for strange devices of fantasy in Apparel, whereof common distinction misled, not so uprightly decerneth as they have taken effect in hic passer: so have they wrought the same in haec aquila, both he and she, and so respecting the parsons in whom this excess rageth, we may say Nominativo hic & hec both nought: and respecting the monstrousness of the thing, every man will say: Nominativo hic, hec & hoc, stark nought, Genitivo huius, never worse, Dativo huic, never better, Accusativo hunc, hanc, & hoc, out nettle in dock, one mischief in an other's neck vocativo O Lord amend it, Ablativo ab hoc, ab hac, & ab hoc, beware the plague, the pile, the pestilence, and the pocke, these be the mischiefs that follow pride who leadeth no where else, but to the sign of the shepeshead in Winchester to eat a goose.  
Now see how preatelye the change one with an other, he hath borrowed of she, the measure of she's great berdingale to make he's great hose, and she hath borrowed of he, the last vice she saw his coat to make she a coat by God, send them caps fit for the proportion, but this much may I say without treason to my Lord majors Mule, that their womanhood is never the more to wear it, nevertheless to leave beetyme: good Lord what have I done? I cry them mercy, I am sure I shall never come in their books again, I am wiped out of their Memento, I shall not have a drop of the milk of their breasts if I would kneel down, & ask beawtye their puppy forgiveness, yea, & much less stand by when with pretty shrill voices the cry, fie have away with this dog, when they have made a fault, but in hope they willbe reclaimed and pardon my rudeness I will sing them a Greek Fpi gramme which is this: 

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉,  
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.   

All women are indeed misled  
Yet chiefly two good hours have,  
The one in chamber when they wed,  
the other when they go to grave.   Whereof springe all these things verily upon this that fantasy, hath persuaded common distinction, who once being overthrown taketh every thing that foolish fantasy upon head persuadeth to be very singular, and useth the same for head strong reason, and this ariseth by the perturbations of the mind, which once disquieted, altereth the head & driveth it into strange quandares, estraunginge it often times from the Law of nature and procuring within the same a mortal combat by restraint of understanding, while fantasy fighteth with distinction, and enfeebleth memory in such sort that uneath it is able to entertain enye wholesome lesson, or instruction if there be such a continual battle inwardly in every of us, and yet the same necessary for the exercise of our Virtues (for Vices are the matters against the which they work) and Virtues before proved Madness, seeing the strange effects of fantasy we must conclude, that neither outwardly nor inwardly there is aught else but Madness, but fantasy (saith some) is natural: truth: neither can be without perturbations: truth: ney-worketh any thing but after a perturbated manner fondly: truth: yet it is natural, that is granted before, I perceive this man is my friend, go too, go on, Natura agit propter finem, truth, Nature doth all for some end. And so doth fantasy likewise, for it is a singular good and a part of us without the which we cannot be, yet we esteem not fantasy otherwise then Madness but whatsoever worketh to end, is reason, than fantasy is reason, for it worketh for end, but fantasy is Madness as is before said, therefore reason is Madness, and what is more worthy than reason, and what is more praise worthy then Madness, which thing Democritus considering, plucked out his eyes as I think and all to study the better, and truth it is that study is Madness, for many have been known to run Mad of study, Qualis causa, talis effectus: Such as the cause is such is the effect. Thus Ab effectibus study is proved Madness: moreover where can be found more anger than in heaven, the first movable burleth so swiftly about from the West to the east, that if the other circles strived not with contrary motion from the east to the West, he would inflame the whole world and set all a fire, doth, not Sol and jupiter in conjunction and cankered sly Saturn, or Venus, or Mars, and some such planets in Domo 2.7. or 9 or such like conspire the destruction of Man and Beast, of herbs, and trees, of all things upon the earth, and of the earth itself: Read the Prognosticatoures, and yet I read of three great Eclipses that are like to be this year there is the Eclipse of Faith, and the fear of god, and that is to common and to be lamented and deplored with tears, marry the two other's Eclipses are not so sore, albeit somewhat grievous, and they be the Eclipse of the pot when good Ale is out of town, and the Eclipse of the purse when Master Usurer and Cuthrote live by the bargain, but to make return, if anger be so great, in Celestial bodies and planets, and that naturally incident and allowed shall we not think well of Madness if the less be reputed, be esteemed of, shall not the greater? the Philosopher could say to his servant, if I were not throughly angry how would I torment thee, thus anger you see worketh patience and forbearance, which is a rare gift in a wise man, much more than Madness, which is the very extremity of anger, so then to be a Mad man is to be a wise man, and I think the philosopher was then Mad when he so said to his servant, for he himself confesseth himself to be throughly angered. Cicero hath a Paradox well known 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 That all wise men only be free men, and all fools Bondslaves and demanding of himself, what liberty is, he saith, it is nothing else, but Potestas vivendi ut velis: A power to live as ye list. And who liveth as he list? doth the poor man who always complaineth himself of his grievous misery, and bewaileth to himself his most unfortunate calamities? doth the rich man who the more he hath the more desireth, and yet feareth every hour to lose that he hath? doth the idiot who knoweth not how to order his life? doth the learned, who repineth always at an other's knowledge? if no man therefore live as he list, then is no man free, if no man be free, then is no man wise, for if this be true all wise men are only free, then is this as true all free men are only wise, but freedom and wisdom booth excluded the rest is nothing but only folly, so then all men are fools even next door to Madness. The wise man speaketh very notable, Stultitiam simulare loco prudentia summa est. To counterfeit folly in place is the highest wisdom, the sentence is most wise but Aristotle's as good 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, it is better to be, than to seem to be, said notably, as booth thought wisely, now in my mind the greatest folly that may be is Madness, which sithence it is the very end that all things shoot at, must needs be accounted the parfectest of all: and I doubt not but since the wise men have said their minds, the one it is wisdom to counterfeit folly in place, the other better to be then seem, but at the jest, if the one have any defendants, the other shall have all followers, and thus we shall all be extreme fools, that is to say, Madmennes, that is to say wisemen, we shall have Genus & species, toast in the schools among the Logitioners, Ad nauseam like a tennis Bale, we shall have sometimes Boars flesh & Bullbeef like a roister, sometimes cage ware, & cuckingstole herb grass, like a Scold, some time Marie Mawdlines beads, and Mereticular tears and treable tonged language among the rhetoricians, to say nothing of heaven gazers, Clock keepers, air meaters, & of a number such like whose end of study, every man knoweth to be but Madness, yet are they wonderfully praised and extolled, and I am one of them myself, which so do praise them, because I know they are fools in most extremity, and will take pains, I trust to defend this little treatise from the hands and teeth of nippers, as proceeding from a sincere mind and made of good will in the behalf of them all, wherein if I have taken such pains, as I would have wished then nature and art, than reason and virtue, then wise men & wisdom, them fools & of all sorts, will give their dew praise & honour to Madness.  
FINIS