CERTAIN Characters and Essays of Prison and Prisoners. COMPILED BY NOWS HOMO A PRISONER in the Kings Bench. Experientia est optimus magister. LONDON Printed by William jones, dwelling in red-cross street. 1618. TO HIS MOST KIND AND EVER RESPECTIVE Kind Uncle, M. Matthew Mainwaring of Namptwitch in Chesshire. SInce my coming into Prison, what with the strangeness of the place, and strictness of my Liberty, I am so transported that I could not follow that study wherein I took great delight and chief pleasure, and to spend my time Idly would but add more discontentments to my troubled breast, & bring in this chaos of discontentments, fantasies must arise, which will bring forth the fruits of an Idle brain, for è Malis minimum. It is far better to give some account of time though to little purpose than none at all. To which end I gathered a handful of Essays, & few Characters of such things as by my own experience, I could say Probatum est: not that thereby I should either please the reader, or show exquisiteness of invention, or curious style. Seing what I write of, is but the child of sorrow, bred by discontentments and nourished up with misfortunes, to whose help melancholy Saturn gave his judgement. The night Bird her invention, and the ominous Raven brought a quill taken from his own wing, dipped in the Ink of misery as chief aiders in this great Architect of so row. This child is borne and brought to the Font all things ready, only there wants a patron. Hoc difficillimum est. For who will defend sorrow, and misery, who will give him entertainment, who will countenance this work the Author being miserable, who will respect the matter, the man being an abject, who will cherish the circumstance when the substance is almost perished? Surely none in his diebus, for friendship is banished, love extinguished, natural affection gone to travel, gold is dearer than a friend, treasure is nearer than a kinsman, and mammon better beloved then a son. Yet in this famine of true friends I will venture upon you (most loving Uncle) as a godfather to this my first borne though in misery. I can have but a denial which if you do it must die in oblivion. But why should I fear since you have always been my anchor when I have been Shipwrecked, and many times saved my poor Bark when it was ready to split. Why then should I doubt of your friendly patronage which have never failed me? Be bold then, and go thy way, thou shalt be entertained though not for any worth which is in thee, yet in respect thou dost but show a willing heart, and dost endeavour to expel ingratitude a thing most odious not only to man but God, not to Christians but Heathens, not to Heathens but Beasts. What then should I give to you for all your kindnesses which you have continually bestowed upon me which are so many that if I should endeavour to recite (Ante diem clauso componet vesper olympo) but to show my willingness to my power though I am not able to requite (for, ultra posse non est esse) do offer up unto the Oracle of your love the sacrifice of a loving heart, hoping that what is amiss you will impute it to the slenderness of my judgement, and the dullness of my brain which this place hath made worse (and not to the least defect of goodwill.) & that you would let none but yourself see my imperfections, which are sufficiently divulged by my own actions, & would be unwilling to have a second edition of them by my writing this was the chiefest cause I took. This in hand; another was because that happily some friend of mine (post mea funera) by accident may find this paper, & read them & by my example say. Foelix sum quem pericula huius authoris faciunt me cautum, for qui non ante cavet post dolebit, & that they may be afraid to enter into debt any further than necessity urgeth, & if they be forced to borrow to pay as soon as the can (for usury & extortion bite deep) and credit once cracked is not easily recovered nor all creditors of on mind, for some will in pity forbear and others will show the greatest severity. So hoping you will accept non donum sed animum▪ I rest this 27. of january Anno 1617. From the king's-bench Prison in Southwark. Your everloving nephew Yarffeg Lluhsnym. TO THE COVRTEous Reader. Courteous Reader only to banish melancholy and to wade through tedious time, tedious in respect of this place, I gathered a few essays & characters, with an intent not to have them seen of any, but to him to whom they were sent, being on that I might truly ground a certainty of, who would excuse my imperfections, and judge charitably of my slenderness of judgement, this copy by accident came to some of my friends hands, who having perused it wished me to put it in print, which I altogether refused, because I would not presume of my own judgement, or dare to venture to put myself to the censure of so many understanding readers into whose hands it is subject to fall, these persuasions prevailed not, entreaties were laid aside, and I must either divulge them, or else lose their love this was the first motive that with an unwilling willingness caused me to put my book to censure. Another was in respect some obdurate creditors may read it, & by reading mollify their strong hearts. The last reason because it may be as a caveat to young gallants, to terrify them how they run in debt, wherein they may know that imprisonment is of all miseries most lamentable. So hoping that the judicious will with laudable censure mitigate my many imperfections, and the other judge favourably of my intention, which if it take well is better than I can expect, if otherwise they do not injury me, giving desert his reward. Essays of a Prison. TO what end or purpose should I entreat half of the Muses for the aid of invention, or Cicero to adorn my phrase with eloquence, or Flora's deep judgement to write judicially, or implore aid of Martial to speak mystically, or Virgil's heroic style to please the hearers, since what I write is nothing but of sorrow, the subject but discontentment, and the whole matter but an Index of many miseries, & therefore my phrase shallbe altogether unpollished, being the servant of my more dull apprehension. Vade, sed incultus, qualem decet exulis esse, Infoelix habitum temporis huius habe. My purpose is with dim water colours to lime me out a heart, yea such a heart so discontented & oppressed, that I need not to be curious in fitting every colour to his place, or to choose the pleasantest chamber to draw it in, because in it I am to lay down the bounds of those tempestuous seas in which ten thousands are every day tossed, if not overwhelmed, which is so usual here amongst us that every one is arts master in this workmanship, & every minute some thing or other is still added to this distressed Picture, whose ponderous weight is so great that the frame is scarce able to bear the effigies. My travels hither to this infernal Island was but a short voyage, and my abode here as yet but few months, but it was longer to me then an East Indian voyage, and I am sure far more dangerous for if from the indies of sixty men twenty come home safe it is well, but in this if eighty of a hundred be not cast-over board it is a wonder Being once arrived, Loci incommoditas. no star of comfort here can be seen to sail by, no haven of happiness near, no anchor of hope to cast out, Topsail, Foresail, Spritsayle, Mizzen, Main, Sheate, Bollings and Drabblers are all torn by the winds, and the Bark itself so weatherbeaten, that there is few can come near to touch at the Cap of Bona Speranza. Being once arrived at, all are not only stayed, but the in chantments are so strong that it transformeth all that come thither. First the greatest courages are here wracked, the fairest revenues do here come aground, it maketh a wise man to lose his wits, a fool to know himself, it turns a rich man into a beggar, and leaves a poor man desperate, he whom neither Snows nor Alps can vanquish, but hath a heart as constant as Hannibal, him can the miseries of a Prison overcome. The Character of a Prison. A Prison is a grave to bury men alive, and a place wherein a man for half a years imprisonment may learn more law, than he can at Westminster for a hundred pound. It is a Microcosmos, a little world of woe, it is a map of misery, it is a place that will learn a young man more villainy if he be apt to take it in one half year, them he can learn at twenty dicing houses, Bowling allies, Brothelhouses, or Ordinaries, and an old man more policy, then if he had been Pupil to Machiavelli. It is a place that hath more diseases perdominant in it, than the pest-house in the plague time, and it stinks more than the Lord Mayor's dogge-house or paris-garden in August. It is a little common wealth, although little wealth be common there, it is a desert where desert lies hoodwinked it is a famous City wherein are all trades, for here lies the Alchemist that can rather make ex auro non aurum, then ex non auro aurum. It is as intricate a place as Rosamunds' Labyrinth, and is as full of blind Meanders; and crooked turnings that it is unpossible to find the way out except he be directed by a silver clue, and can never overcome Minotaur without a golden ball to work his own safety. It is as Inns of Court, for herein Lawyers inhabit, that have crotchets to free other men yet all their quirks & quiddities cannot enfranchise them. It is the Doctor's Commons where skilful Physicians frequent, who like Aesculapius can cure other men's diseases, yet cannot Quintessence out of all their Vegetals and Minerals a Balsamum, or Elixir to make a sovereign plaster to heal the surfeit the mace hath given them. It is the Chirurgeons hall where many rare artists live, that can search other men's wounds yet cannot heal the wound the Searieant hath given them. It is your Bankrupts banqueting house, where he sits feasting with the sweet meats borrowed from other men's tables, having a voluntary disposition never to repay them again. It is your Prodigals (ultimum refugium) wherein he may see himself as in a glass what his excess hath brought him to, and least that he should surfeit, comes hither to Physic himself with moderate diet, and least that his bed of down should breed too many diseases, comes hither to change his bed where he is scarce able to lie down. It is a Purgatory which doth afflict a man with more miseries than ever he reaped pleasures. It is a pilgrimage to extenuate sin● and absolve offences: for here be Seminaries and Mass— Priests which do take down the pride of their flesh more, than a voyage to the holy Land or a hair shirt in Lent. It is an exile which doth banish a man from all contentments, wherein his accounts do so terrify him, that it makes a man grow desperate. To conclude what is it not? in a word it is the very Idea of all misery and torments, it converts joy into sorrow, riches into poverty, ease into discontentments, and further, Of all the ill that may be thought, Imagined or be writ: In prison here a man shall find, Which will his own heart split. Of Prisoners. I Could wish that every one that comes to prison should not be dismayed, but carry it out bravely & with resolution, & to consider that no misery in this world is endless. After storms calms will arise, & though sorrow be over night yet joy will come in the morning, & to say as Caesar did to the Pilot that carried him when he was afraid, (quoth he) thou carriest Caesar: So every generous mind ought to be armed with resolution to meet all storms of adversity, Omnis homo Miser. and to consider that man was borne to misery, and therefore natural to him. But thou wilt peradventure say the name of a Prisoner is loathsome to thee, is it because thou art cooped under lock and key? Is it because thou feelest wants? Is it because thou art barred of freedom? Is it because thy friends look strangely on thee or forsake thee? Is it because thou art disgraced and holden in scorn? Is it because thou lodgest hardly and peradventure with an ill bedfellow: Yet let not all these dismay thee, for hadst thou the whole Country to walk in, yet thy soul is still imprisoned in thy corrupted body. Let not want discourage thee, for thy redeemer suffered hunger & cold to fulfil thy wants. Let not want of freedom trouble thee, thy Saviour was fettered and manackled to enfranchise thee. Let not the coy looks of thy friends dismay thee, thy Lord was scorned of all men to bring thee into favour. Let not disgraces molest thee, the King of Kings was most disgraced to honour thee, let not thy lodging or forced chamber fellows afflict thee, the Pilot of thy safety was lodged in a manger and made a companion for thieves. But look into thy own bosom & learn but a short rule yet very difficult viz: (Nosce te ipsum) and thou shalt find it is not imprisonment that afflicts thee, nosee tuipsum. but the evil which is in thyself, makes thee so distasteful, for hadst thou all things at will, yet still thou wouldst wish for more. The greatest Monarch lives not without some discontentment, Nemo vinit contentus. and comfort thyself that one day thou shalt be enfranchised and go to that place and mansion house which is prepared for thee, where all scores shall be paid, all cares banished, and all tears wiped away. Varlets and Catchpoles arrest thee, fret not at it, if law have power to whet an axe, she must pick out a hangman to strike the mace, this doth but only put thee in remembrance of that arrest which shall Summon thee to appear at the Imperial Court of heaven. Thy accounts are many and great which are against thee, Red rationem. yea some of you come to a tormenting execution, grieve not at this, it doth but teach thee that thy accounts must be brought against thee, to draw thee to a reckoning to make thee to know that thou owest a reckoning to heaven as well as man, and justice will execute her power not to drive thee to despair, but to a mendment. Further I persuade myself their are many prisoners whose resolution are so noble, and resolute that before they would yield to the threats of an insulting creditor, they would cheerfully thrust their nekes into the yoke of adverfity, if no more veins herein were cut but their own, but here is none so poor which dies in prison but the last gap doth crack the heartstrings of a wife, Parents et Liberi sunt chari. children, father, mother, friends or allies, therefore art thou bound to take pity of thyself, and to hang out the flag of truce to thy bloody-minded Creditor, and seek or ransom to pay all so that thou mayst escape with life, though it be upon some ignoble terms, and much loss to thee, if none of these respects, yet for thy Country's sake, to whom thou art a Traitor if thou give thyself to thine enemies hand when upon parley thy peace may be made. Come forth of Prison, and die not there, that thou mayest honour thy King, and do service to thy country, and pay thy debts so far as thou art able, decause the greatest debt that ever thou didst owe was paid for thee. Prisoners of another nature. SOme there be which have gotten other men's goods and so lie here to defraud them, these of all men deserve no pity, or compassion, which tie their own hands, and make themselves galley slaves only to wear golden setters, how canst thou say thy prayers, and expect a blessing should be poured on thee, that so willingly errest from the type of a just man which is (Suum cuique attribuere) I will not speak much of thee, Fac aliis fieri quod velis ipse tibi. because it must be all gall. In a word the gallows on which the poor thief hangeth is most fit for thee, he robbeth one man, thou whole families, he is a fellow to man only, thou art a fellow to God and man, if he kill, he doth it suddenly and but one, when thou with a lingering ●eath destroyest father, mother, children, and peradventure many Orphans left to their charge. Diuiti●… faciunt homines potentiores non. meli oars. But look to it that although thou compound for two shillings or three shillings in the pound, the overplus which thou so ill hast got will bring thy soul into such debt that the remainder will not pay the interest to save the forfeiture of thy soul to the Devil, which will damn thee and thy angels, with him and his angels, and thy issue or allies which shall enjoy them shall never prosper with them. The Character of a Prisoner. A Prisoner is an impatient patient lingering under the rough hands of a cruel physician, Bona male parta, male di●abuntur. his creditor having cast his water knows his disease, and hath power to cure him, but takes more pleasure to kill him. He is like Tantalus, who hath freedom running by his door, yet cannot enjoy the least benefit thereof, his greatest grief is that his credit was so good, and now no better his land is drawn within the compass of a sheeps skin and his own hand the fortification that bars him of entrance, he is fortune's tossing-ball, an object that would make mirth melancholy, to his friends an abject, and a subject of nine days wonder in every Barber's shop, and a mouthful of pity (that he had no better fortune) to Midwives, and talkeative gossips, and all the content that this transitory life can give him seems but to flout him, in respect the restraint of liberty bars the true use. To his familiars he is like a plague, whom they dare scarce come nigh for fear of infection, he is a monument ruined by those which raised him, he speads the day with a hei mihi, vae miserum, & the night with a Nulla dolor estmedicabilis herbâ: & to conclude A Prisoner is a woeful man, Oppressed with grief of mind. And tell his miseries, no man can: Which he is sure to find. Of Creditors. A Creditor hath two pair of hands on of flesh and blood, & that nature gave him; another of Iron & that the law gives him: but the one is more predominant than the other, for mercy guides the one, & mammon the other. But if he once consider what he goeth about to do, and that it is the image of God whom he goeth about to deface and oppress with miseries, Deus fecit hominem secundum imaginem suam. & calamities then the softness of the one doth so operate, that it meets with the hardness of the other, which never comes to pass but when grace & mercy kills Law & justice, but such days are seldom set down in our Calendars, neither will it serve this Island, but persuade myself that for a strange meridian is that Almanac calculated in which they are found. I by mine own experience (though little, yet too much to learn it here) have known of my own knowledge a hundred creditors which have laid their debtors in irons as relentless as themselves, and of those hundred, if I should add a hundred more, I think I should nominate but one only, and only on of a merciful breast, who did not only grieve to see his debtor oppressed with misery, but also laid money out of his purse to free him, he shot a second arrow to find the first and suppose he shot both away, do you think his quiver was the emptier? No, he scattered a handful of corn & reaped a bushel, he received treble interest, he gained by this new security, & such as would not fail him at the day; God became his debtor, and paid him more than his account came to. Thou that art a Creditor wilt not believe this: Ironia. do not. But in stead of this man's weeping make thy debtor melt into tears, and in stead of his lamentation rejoice he is in thy hands to use him cruelly, and flatter thyself in saying thou hast no reason to lose so much by him, and I will have his body, or in persuading thyself that his friends will not let him lie for such a debt, and that thou wilt not forgive him, but nolens volens will be satisfied, or else he shall starve and rot: Homo homini lupus. o thou wicked man, thou never dost consider what tears thy Saviour shed to free thee, and when thou wast given up to the prison of hell by the hands of thy cruel creditor the Devil to be cruelly tormented, yet Christ paid all thy scoares with his precious blood, and how canst thou lie down on thy pillow to pray to God to forgive thee a million of debts, nay they run into infinitum, which will not forgive thy brother one debt. And when all thy friends would not redeem thee thy Saviour freed thee, how canst thou do these things with a safe conscience? Dost thou not sleep on the pillow of thy own damnation, thy prayers turn into cursings, and thou dost but mock him that thou prayest unto. Consider what a great score thou art to pay, what an account thou art to make, and how thou shalt not escape if thou use such cruelty till thou hast paid the utmost farthing, thou that art a cruel murderer whom the revenge and wrongs of a wife, children, parents, and orphans will like the blood of Abel call to heaven for vengeance on thee and thy posterity: do but consider of this, and then thou wilt be afraid to torment thy brother. But imitate the romans who builded a temple for the relief of those which were fallen into decay & poverty, then find a prison to starve them in, and follow Titus Vespacian who having omitted but one day to do justice caused that day to be put forth of the calendar. So that day when thou shalt have but a thought of tormenting thy poor brother▪ do but look into thy own conscience and it will make thee repent that ever thou hast lived such a day wherein thou hast played the tyrant in thy heart. The rocks have yielded relief to men oppressed, but you more harder than they, are the cause of their misery. Be thou as great a tyrant over thy poor debtor as Nero was, as cruel as Phalaris, as inhuman as Lycaon, & in the end thou dost with thes get a staff to break thy own head, and lay a snare which thou thyself shalt fall into, which though thy own person escape, yet thy posterity shallbe sure to feel the punishment. Thou that vauntest, and wilt make dice of thy debtor bones, be these the words of a man? no, of a monster? no, but a devil, nay worse than a devil, a thing not worthy name, for these words thou art as infamous, as the jews hateful for casting of dice for the Lords garments, that garment was but a senseless thing but thou casts dice for a piece of thy redeemers body. Thou takest with one clap of a Varlet's hand, from the Courtier his honour, from the Lawyer his tongue, from the Merchant the seas, from the Citizen his credit, from the Scholar his preferment, from the husband man the earth itself (and from all men as much as thou mayst) the brightness and warmth of the sun of heaven, in a word if nothing will make thy stony heart relent, thou in being cruel to thy debtor, art worse than the hang man, he before he strikes begs pardon, thou takest a pride to condemn where thou mayst save. But it may be thy estate is sick, thy credit much engaged, and to save thyself thou art forced to do this. In so doing thou dost well, if another wear thy coat and thou goest cold thou mayst pluck it from his shoulders. If thou art hungry and another keepeth thy meat, thou mayst take it off his table; if he be able to cure thy wound, which for his sake thou hast made, thou hast reason to seek thy remedy, but if he which hath borrowed thy coat, hath worn it out, and hath not a rag to cover him with, wilt thou trample upon his naked body? If with the jew of Malta in stead of coin thou requirest a pound of flesh next to thy debtor's heart, wilt thou cut him in pieces? If thy debtor offer thee his bed he lies in, his chamber he sleeps in, his dish he drinks in, nay all that he hath, so that he leaves himself, wife and children as naked as they came into the world, wilt thou for all this suffer him to lie in prison? If thou be merciful to thy debtor that cannot pay thee, alas what is it? No more than if thou shouldst lift up the head of a sick man upon his pillow to ease him, he may recover and do as much for thee; in prison poverty is made beggary, and so thereby thou dost not only undo thy debtor, but lose all, therefore be merciful and pitiful, and thou shalt not lose thy reward. Lycurgus' being asked why he made no law for parricides, Particides. he answered because he thought there were none so unnatural: so if I should have studied all the days of my life, and that my years should be doubled, I should never have Imagined either to have invented, or to have been an eye-witness of such unnaturallnes as is here exemplary, as the son who being bound for his father, to free himself hath laid his father up in close prison, and here hath detained him seven years never yielding to any composition, but his poor father lives at his merciless mercy, and again the father suffers his son to be imprisoned for his own debt at his own suit, surely a thing so abhorred, that I tremble to write it, and none can read it without blushing. What will this world come to, when the Mammon of this world shall set father against son, son against father, and make them more merciless than Tigers, and more unnatural than beasts: for a beast forsakes not his own, but man respecteth gold before his friend, & the father, coin before the son of his body, flesh of his flesh. And the son the God of this world before his father, which gave him life, and being whom he ought to cherish, and undergo all troubles to ease him. But look to it, both fathers and children, lest in a moment the just judgement of God fall upon you, and damn them and your gold together, loving it better than those whom you ought to cherish, and the one to be but a thing of the basest esteem in respect of the other. Ex paucis dictis plurima in●endere potes. I could exemplify it with histories as well foreign as domestic but that it is not my purpose, for Ex paucis plurima concipit ingenium. The Character of a Creditor. A Creditor is a man whose estate is wrapped up in sheepskins, his rising grows by his debtors fall, his credit relies upon his debtor's performance, and the death of a young gallants father is more pleasing to him than fasting days to a Usurer, or death to a Broker, he grows rich only by putting forth commodities, which mediately converts▪ to discommodities, he will not put out money for ten in the hundred, for usury is hateful to him, but he loves extortion and makes that his summum bonum, for he will merchandise with you, whereby he will gain sixty in a hundred, he is your Cities honest man, which is, to speak the truth, more than a knave, for a knave that is crafty needs no broker, but he cannot live without one. He is a man composed of all love, and protesting kindness to pleasure the occasions of his gallant debtor, with his much affirmation of his respect, how willing he is to do his worship a pleasure, whereby the chief aim of his pleasure is to have a footing upon some capital messsage, or else to be fingering some petty Lordship, or comely mamnor, who having no sooner glutted himself with the rich banquet of his debtors dear cost, but immediately to physic himself he is at the charge of a fair hackney Coach with three most absolute lads to draw him (whither he most willingly is drawn) with his curious wife, and two or three of his own conditioned neighbours, Similis simili gaudet. to see this goodly purchase, who prepare themselves some fortnight before hand, and prune themselves up in their Peacock's feathers like the puppets in a Lord Maior his pageant, and for this his great act he is admired at amongst his neighbours as the Owl in the day time amongst other birds, and esteemed of with as much respect as that captain Pigmi was, which was commander in that bloody wars against the terrible black Crows. A Creditor may further be said to be either, homo, monstrum, or daemon. A man when he casts his debtor into Prison with a determination to seek his own, not to ruin him, and if he be not able to pay all, to take what he can spare, and give him day for the rest, and so release him: this man is (homo homini Deus) that as he doth punish, so he doth preserve. A Monster when he hath not only extended his substance but casts him in Prison, and is as deaf as an adder to hear of releafe till he have paid him the utmost farthing. A Devil when he hath ruined him doth rejoice to see him fall, and in stead of coin will have his carcase, but to find a creditor both Homo et Angelus, that will release his prisoner when he is not able to pay him, and that will consider that ultra posse non est esse. Such a one is Rara avis in terris, etc. Some creditors are pitiful, And mercy still will show: And some as flint will harder be, Which many debtor know. Of choice of company in Prison. WOuldst thou learn to dispute well, be an excellent Sophister, wouldst thou dispute of foreign affairs, and be an excellent linguist, I counsel thee to travel? Wouldst thou be of a pleasing and affectionate behaviour? Frequent the Court. Wouldst thou dive into the secret villainies of man? Lie in prison. Via perieu losa. Take heed when thou interest into this wilderness of wild beasts, what path thou takest, some guide is necessary, or else unawares, thou wilt with the Roman emperors Steward fall into a pit, where cruel devouring are entrapped, which will ruin thee. Society is the string at which the life of man hangeth without which is no music, two in this mask is but a union, Adam had his Eve, and every son of Adam hath his brother whom he loves. No Chariot runs with one wheel, two makes it steady, a third is superfluous, four too cumbersome, thou must choose one and but one, who walks alone is lame. Men of all conditions are forced into prison, as all rivers run into the sea, therefore it is good to be familiar with all, acquainted with few, and if with any eandem cantilenam cano, but with one, make trial what the vessel will hold before thou power thyself into him, and be wary what thou sayest or dost, for thou shalt have the eyes of envy, not of reproof which will look upon thee, to malice thee if thou dost well, and if thou deny to follow them in their humours, or to dance after their own pipe, thou shalt be more emulated than the boy was of the two Ladies when he preferred Venus before in giving her the golden bal, and if by accident thou dost any thing amiss, as humanum est errare thou shalt be more vilified, and with inveterate malice more prosecuted to disgrace thee, than the Pharisees did the Hugonites. Be wary therefore of thy company, for to be a bowl for every alley, and run into every company proves thy mind to have no bias. Thy coming into prison is like a traveler coming into strange countries, and takes up several lodgings, hath many welcomes, but they are not to him, but to his money. If thou wilt dwell with thyself be not giddy, but composed, for he that is every where is nowhere, therefore be wary whom thou selectest, for here be of all sorts, for thou shalt as well find a flattering Gnatho, as a dissembling Sinon, and if thou have store of crowns, than thou shalt be sure to be humoured and be beloved with outward respects, and then they will counsel and advise thee with protestations of their love, but look to such, whose counsel to hear, and not embrace will do hurt but may much improve thee, but if once taken it will operate as the apple which Valentine duchess of Orleans cast to the young Princes which once tasted, will so poison thee with corruption that thou art uncurable. Further here be vain glorious & talkative headed fools, snch will more trouble thee, than any action of debt which is laid one thee here be common drunkards, which will lie heavier one thee then an execution. But if thou suffer a man to lie long in thy bosom, albeit his conditions be full of flaws, yet labour to piece and seam up his vices, rather than to cast him off least that it call thy own judgement in question. All men have imperfections, humanum eum errare. and being in prison we must not look to have them stars, this place is no Orb for such constellations. Let not thy companion be a miserable base minded fellow, for then nigardliness will hold her fingers one thy purse strings, let him not be a Prodigal for then he will draw thee to riot, of adultery to lust, of swearers to damned oaths, Divitiae faciunt homines potentiores non meliores. of pot companions to drunkenness, acquaint thyself therefore not with the most, but best, not the best in clothes or money, but in virtue, if there be none such in prison then keep company with thyself, Cum bonis bonus. and in thy chamber keep company with Plutarch and Seneca, or rather Perkins and Greeneham, the one will teach thee to live well, the other to die well. The good will teach thee good, Cum bonis bonus, cum malis malus. The bad will thee defame: The one to virtue thee will bring The other grief and shame. The Character of Companions in Prison. Quot homines, tot sententiae. All companies are not alike, neither is there a union in their dispositions. I will therefore touch but three kinds of persons which thou shalt be sure to find in prison. viz. 1 A Parasite. 2 A john indifferent. 3 A true hearted Titus. The first loveth thee better for thy means then merit, thy substance then thyself, who will rip open thy bosom to thy enemy, and when thy money begins to sink, will fly from thee, and will be the first that will disgrace thee. He is like a whore who will no longer fawn, than thou wilt feed him. He is a trencher rascal, which will more hate thee when thou leavest to relieve him, than ever he did seem to love thee. The second is one that will flatter thee, and will neither absolutely love thee nor hate thee, but when present will be with thee, when absent against thee, he is hic et ubique, here and every where, and in very truth he is no where. The last of these thou mayst call the masculine sweet heart, on which may be resembled to truth whose bosom is always bare, and hath a breast of Chistall, that thou mayst look through his body to his heart, he is one that will love thee in adversity, he will respect thee in the kitchen as well as in the parlour, he will reverence thee in the hole as well as in the masters side he will look on thee in rags as well as in robes, and will acknowledge thee in fetters as in a featherbed, come storms, come calms, come tempests, come sunshine, come what can come, he willbe thine and stick to thee therefore. Be careful that thou keep always, Verus ami, cousin optimus thesaurus. A friend in time of need: That will thee help without delay, If that thou stand in need. Of Visitants in Prison. Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes. From a ruinous house every man flies, they that are abroad ask every day how thou dost, when in prison they protest they are sorrow for thy misfortunes, but never come to thee, such are idle passengers pressing about a Barber's shop, when a man is carried in wounded, who will peep in amnd climb about the windows, but dare not enter into the shop, for fear they should fall into a swoon to see him dressed, a Prisoner is as much beholding to such leapfrog acquaintance as a man shaken with an ague to every gossoping woman he meets who will teach him a hundred medicines and not one worth taking. But if thy abiility be such that thou workest thy liberty than thou shalt have as many hands embracing thee as Centimanus had, much wine with little love bestowed upon thee, with oaths infinite that they were coming forty times to see thee, but this or that occasion hindered them, when indeed they were afraid thou shouldest have had occasion to use them, & they had purposed to hath come this day, but they are happy that thy so much desired liberty have prevented them, to such give no credit, only salute them with a Salve, and a Vale. Others will come to thee with weeping and sighthing to cheer thee up, but such are like Robin-redbrests that brings straws in their charitable bills to cover the dead. Others will promiss to lend thee money, but try them before thou have occasion to use them, which if they deny thee, when thou art at liberty be then unto them as a shadow. But true friends in a prison are like strawberries in a barren country, that one can hardly get a handful in a whole year, nay they are like your roses here in Christmas, a thousand to one if in an age, one be found so in prison it is a great odds if of a thousand kinsmen, allies, and acquaintance I find but one true friend. Donec eris foelix multos numerabis amicos. Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris. But if in this great dearth of friends wherein we live, under what fortunate planet may I judge myself to be borne, and that the constellations of the stars have much favoured me, that amongst all my flesh and blood I have found one true Damon or faithful Pylades, and amongst all my acquaintance have found some faithful, and more constant in their love and respect to me in this place, then when I was at liberty they did make show of, that I may truly say. Of Visitants some faithful are, When Prisoners them require: And to them nothing will deny, If that they them desire. The Character of Visitants. Visitants for the most part are men composed all of protesting promises, and little or no performance they are like your Almanacs, which when they promise fair weather, it is a million to a mite if it prove not contrary, they are like the Germane clocks which seldom go right, their tongues run faster than the clock one shrove-tuesday, the pissing Conduit in cheapeside, or an Irish man's pair of heels when he runs one a wager, he will tire thy ears more in one hour with his loud protestations, than a Scholar, Citizen or Tailor will a hackney horse in half a days riding, but in performance will be as slow as a Snail in her pace, and when thy messenger comes to them for money, them they will be sure to have the Strongullion, or Colic that they cannot speak, and look as rustily one thy messenger, as a Lawyer will one his client which sueth under forma pauperis, your letters as acceptable as water into a ship, the King's privy seal to a usurer, a Subpoena to a country Gentleman, or a catchpole amongst the friendly society of Gallants. They are like the riches & chains bought at Saint Martynes who were fair for a little time, but shortly after will prove alchamy or rather pure copper. Lastly, they are like the apples which grow on the banks of Gomorrah, they have crimson and beautiful rinds, but when they come to gather them, they crumble all to dust; and truly can I say: Of Visitants some deserve the name, And friendly are to some: And some there be that mean no good, But hurt to them they come Of entertainment in Prison. AS soon as thou comest before the gate of the Prison, do but think thou art entering into hell, and it will extenuate somewhat of thy misery, for thou shalt be sure not only to find hell, but fiends & ugly monsters, which with continual torments will afflict thee, for at the gate their stands Cerberus a man in show but a dog in nature, who at thy entrance will fawn upon thee, bidding thee welcome in respect of the golden Cruse which he must have cast him, than he opens the door with all gentleness, showing thee the way to misery is very facile, and being once in, he shuts it with such fury, that it makes the foundation shake and the door & windows so barricaded, that a man so looseth himself with admiration that he can hardly find the way out, and be a sound man. Now for the most part your Porter is either some broken Citizen, who hath played lack of all trades, some Pander▪ Broker, or Hangman, that hath played the knave with all men, and for the more certainty his emblime is a red beard to which sack hath made his nose cousin jerman. No sooner shall a man pass this fury, but he is conducted to little ease his chamber, where he no sooner hath entered, but (hard usage) his chamberlain salutes him, and protests he hath lodged thee with as honest a man as himself, when in truth, as a pair of Shears cannot part the knave betwixt them, and protesteth thou shalt have a clean pair of sheets, and of the best, who having no sooner fingered thy coin but sends thee a pair of sheets fitter for a horse then a man who having played the lade so with thee, then leaves thee. He no sooner departs but threadbare, and moneyless thy chamber-fellows, come upon thee for a Garnish, which if thou deny them or hast no money, then Exit cloak from thy shoulders, and enters two dozen of pots, and one dozen of pipes, this is the pillow which shall be given thee to sleep on the first night: now thou must be saluted in the morning, or else peradventure thou wilt think thyself not welcome. In the morning at thy uprising, (Pothearbe) the Gardener appears in his likeness, and he will have unguentum arum for the narrow path thou hast to walk in. Then to whet on thy stomach to dinner comes (cut-throat) the Steward for his crown, who professeth much kindness he will show thee, for thou hast bound him with thy courtesy, to cozen thee, not only in thy meat but money. Next after this comes (Mistress Deceit) the head Cook, who protesteth thou shalt command her, who having no sooner greased her fingers with thy silver, but ever after she will have a hand in thy dish what thou canst to prevent it, so on all sides the blood of thy purse must be powered out to maintain such merciless blood▪ hound's and continual purseleaches. These furies, as they have divers shapes, so have they several kinds of temptations, for after thou hast been some fortnight in prison, they will come to thee, to cheer thee lest thou shouldest add melancholy to discontentment, and will tell thee they wish thee well, and thou shalt command them, and in their opinion the sight of thee street will much content thee, and they will attend thee to the Tavern within the rule, where thou must quench their thirst with sack, and what is got of thee is well got, being obtained by rule, for he that lives by rule cannot err. Suppose thou either perceivest these things by others, or by thy own example, and so refuse this proffered courtesy of theirs purchased for their pleasures at thy own cost. Then if at any time upon just occasion thou desirest it, than thou must give them a cup of aurum potabile, or else expect not the least favour, or smallest courtesy for no penny no paternoster, no gold no friendship. If thou continually be offered injuries bear them patiently, or else thou shalt be laid in irons for satisfaction. If they perceive thou art like to continue, and hast good means, thou shalt want no content that prison can yield, but every dram of content will cost thee a pound of silver. When they hear thou art upon discharge, than they will be very sorry and make all the best means that possibly they can to detain thee, but if there be no remedy, but thou must needs depart, than what with their three halfpences apound for Action money, and three in the pound for Execution, they will make such a large bill, which will be more unconscionable than a Tailors, for he will abate of the Summa totalis, but in this, here is nothing to be abated, all their speech is legem pone, or else with their ill custom they will detain thee, for thy denial is an Execution without trial by law, for notwithstanding that amongst just men malus usus abolendus est, here conseruandus et preseruandus, and so thy entrance into prison▪ thy continuance in prison, and thy discharge out of prison will be nothing but racking the heartstrings of poor prisoners, and exhausting the substance of the distressed, whatsoever their wants be, holding it for a maxim, that Summa iniuria est summum ius. Of Keepers which go abroad with Prisoners. HAst thou a desire to go abroad thy Argos which attends thee, 4 shillings per diem cum Cerere et Baccho. will be more chargeable than the Lord majors galley foist on Simon & judes day, or a citizens wife to her husband when strawberries and cherries are first cried in the streets, and will consume thee if thou forbear not, thou mayst better cheaperide one thy foot-cloth, then go abroad with thy keeper. If thou walkest abroad with thy keeper use him friendly, but respectively, so manage him, that he shall rather think himself beholding to thee then thou to him, for howsoever he fawns upon thee with compliments standing bare with officious attendance, yet know he serves in his place but as the dog the Butcher he is to thee as a cur to a drove of beasts if thou goest one quietly (be it to thy slaughter amongst griping Citzizens, & cruel creditors to work thy own freedom, he waits gently and brings thee to the door, but if thou once off●r to stray he woo●e es thee. Remember his eye shoots at two whites, thy person and thy purse, the one is to guard thee the other to feed him, thou art compelled to ptotect thy carcase under his shelter, as a sheep in a terrible storm under a briar, and be sure thy standing there is to hae some of thy woo●… torn off. The Character of Keepers. YOur Keeper's most commonly are insinuating knaves, and mercenary rascals▪ wearing their masters livery, but their own badge which is slave, in full proportion they look like the picture of envy, with their hands continually diving into poor Prisoners pockets, with their heads uncovered, still proffering courtesies when their hearts make answer, what kindness they do is (non tibi sed pecuniae,) they most commonly feed well, to their masters credit, but the tablers charge. Now if any take exception of the badge knave which I have given them, as the old proverb is, touch a galled horse and he will kick. I will maintain (I say) what out of their own authors, a bird of their own nest yet not altogether so ill, who said to me that he was weary of his slavish life, in respect he must be knave in his place, who said, if he were true to his Master, he must be knave to prisoners, if true to prisoners, knave to his master. So be he honest in his vocation, or dishonest, he must be still knave for mala mens, malus animus. There are abundance of these snakes which lie lurking in this place, whose chiefest felicity is to talk of so many new prisoners which are committed, and are ready to faint if they but hear of release, and all the dogs at Paris-garden keep not such a bawling as these curs every morning in the Term, to go abroad with poor prisoners, by rule only to prey and seize upon their coin, and they will not abate one penny of their extortion, though the poor prisoner fast a week with bread and water▪ And they rejoice more for a Habeas Corpus in the vacation. than the husband man for a plentiful harvest, or the Merchant for the safe landing of his ship. For money they will do any thing, be it never so ill, so thereby they may purchase coin, holding it a maxim, that silver is well gotten, if by any means obtained, and to use cruelty to prisoners, is policy, and wisdom; because now is the time or never, for being once enfranchised they will be as wary to come in again as the bird which hath escaped the fowler's net. Of jailers, or the Masters of prisons. VTrum horum mavis accipe, there is not a hair to choose, the old proverb must be verified, never a barrel the better herring, jack must be equal to Gill, they are all one in nature, in place only they differ (nomine tantùm: but learn them as you please, or by what name, they are as origine, but laylors. All laylors are not alike, some are more worthy than other, I only touch the worst sort of them, and that for the most part, for the baseness of the one cannot any ways impeach the worth of the other, but doth give greater splendour to the truly noble, being most contrary, for Duo contraria opposita magis elucescunt. For the most part your keepers of prisons are very obdurate, and will show no favour and do look to be spoken to by men of worth to be favourable to their prisoners, who will promise faithfully, but the crossing of the water derounes their remembrance, they put much confidence in the porter, and other officers, and will believe the words of such insinuating knaves, before the oaths of Gentlemen of worth, or other conscionable men their prisoners, they are more griping than an Usurer, for he will be content with security, but when a prisoner is upon discharge they will not take bail or security, nay they will not abate one poor twenty shillings, though they have gained never so much by them, but will be King and Keysar having the laws in their own hands, will iustrfie the detaining of trunks or clothes; if the prisoner have none, than they by violence will take cloak, or doublet, and turn you out naked. Further, they are far more unconscionable than a Broker, who takes forty in the hundred, but they will think it charity to take fifty, I and for a chamber where poor prisoners lie like beasts, not men. For cruelty they exceed Nero, for he would kill suddenly, but your laylors do detain men of good parts, who have lain there seven year, not taking any commiseration, in being content to take what they can spare, and give day for the rest, but when the cruel creditor hath relented, than the obdurateness returns, and penetrates the breast of his keeper not to redeem him till he have paid all demands. But what are they enriched by it? It so consumes them, that they are so poor, so compassed about with troubles, that they live beggarly, and die poor, and that which they enrich themselves by exhausting their substance out of the very blood of prisoners, their issue lives the worse by it; and, without godly repentance, they may keep hell gates to give his men place, which for their talent hath been worse than their master. The Character of jailers. A jailor is as cruel to his prisoners, as a dogge-killer in the plague time to a diseased cur, and shows no more pity to a young Gentleman, than the unconscionable Citizen that laid him in: when they meet you in the streets they show themselves more humble to you, than a whore when she is brought before a Constable, or a cheater before a justice, but when you fall into their fingers, they will be as currish as they seemed kind. They are like Bawds and Beadles,, that live upon the sins of the people, men's follies fill their purses. But some conflict is, he hath some misery, for his pillow is more stuffed with feats than feathers, and though every prisoner sinks under the weight of his own debts, yet his keeper feels the burden of all, and if sometimes by escapes (though against his will) he did not pay some poor men's debts, his extortion would be so weighty, that the earth could scarce bear him and to conclude, he deserves the old proverb, as cruel as a jailer. ⸪ FINIS.