john Niccols Pilgrimage, whrein is displayed the lives of the proud Popes, ambitious Cardinals, lecherous Bishops, fat bellied Monks, and hypocritical jesuits.  Apoc. xviii. 
It is fallen, it is fallen, Babylon that great Cities, and is become the habitation of Devils, and a cage of every unclean, and hateful bird.  Apoc. xvii. 
And in herwas found the blood of the Prophets, and of the Saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.  
Imprinted at London by Thomas Dawson, for Thomas Butter, and Godfrey Isaac. 1581.   

Jllustrissimae, serenissimaeque Principi, Angliae, Franciae, & Hiberniae Reginae, Elizabethae, fidei Catholicae defensori, etc. Cum omni beatitudine, salutem in Christo optimo maximo sempiternam.  
SI vel privatae utilitatis causa mea aliqua, vel affectato gloriae studio, vel levitatis inductu, ac non communi potiús multóque gravissima rerum ac temporum ratione, me ad scribendum huius peregrinationis libellum potissimum contulissem (serenissima Princeps, Regina Elizabetha 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉) optimo iure non vituperatione modó bonorum, sed publica etiam ira inveterata dignus viderer, qui misellus homulus ex Argilla & Luto fictus, quem miseriae, quem erumnae praemunt omnes, humi reptans scarabaeus, hunc tuae Maiestati codicem dedicare minime sum veritus. Inanis jesuitarum, sacrificulorum & Romani pontificis alumnorum ostentatio me valdé excitavit, ad hunc peregrinationis librú Dialogorum formula conscriptum, in lucem aspectumque omnium edendum. Publicum commodum mihi stimulos admovebat ut hoc scribendi munus susciperem: non mercedem expostulo, non applausum populatem expecto, non aestimationem ullam venor, non pingue sacerdotium (ut fingunt Papistae) peto, non divitias quae to, placeret mihi tenuis in Vinea christi vivendi conditio, taceant Iesuitae, sileant Papistae, obmutescant adversarij mej, pudeat illos dicere me in edendis codicibus, aut honorem aucupari, aut laudem aliquam exposcere, aut docti viri nomen mihi inaniter assumere, aut denique divitem fieri opinari, nihil horum posco, verbi Dei propagationem sitio, & seductos erroribus liberare contendo, & postremó hypocrisim Papistarum patefacere nitor. Quid me ad scribendum impulit ostendi, superest ut ostendam quo consilio ftetus tuam maiestatem praecarer, & suppliciter rogarem huius incompti libelli Patronam fore, nam fortassis dicent aliqui, nonne longé inferiorem patronam aut patronum tibi satis fuerat eligere, prae ter Reginam. Quid ei opus est hoc tuo libro▪ semel hoc anno ad illam nimis audactér scripsisti, cur iterum ad suam Regiam dignitatem scribis. Quid ab illa quaeris? opulentum sacerdotium, aut praemium aliquod in remunerationem laboris tui. Primum vacans sacerdotium tibiconcessum est per bonosviros Christianae Religionis fautores, atq, defensores, & hos a concilijs Reginae & in suis literis Archiepiscopus Cantauriensis rogatus eratcum caeteris eius fratribus Episcopis necessaria interim tibi subministrare. Multorum liberalitatem cum procerum, tum Episcoporum expertus es. Quid praeterea tibi opus est, nonné viri eximij virtute praediti fideles Dei dispensatores providerunt, aut sine dubio providebunt quod ad victum, & ornatum tibi necesse fuerit? Quid aliud ergo flagitas? Haec, & talia multi habebunt verba, & magnam arrogantiam, atque mihi summam audaciam obijcient cum sim indoctissimus pené omnium Concionatorum huius regni ut conarer (O Regina clementissima) tuae serenitati dicare meum hoc inornatum opusculum, dicatus est hic tibilibellus quem semel legere & evoluere si placebit summae tuae amplitudini: videas quàm perfide, nefarieque agunt in te Domestici nostri papistae, videas qua malitia imbuti, qua animi pravitate, nixi, quo infando scelere constricti, & quàm solertes sunt in pervertenda, & supplantanda fide Christiana, & propagando, & stabiliendo Romano dogma te, & cum perspectam habueris perfidiam & malitiam papistarum, tuum est (pace tua dixerim) debita castigatione pravam illorum voluntatem restringere: te Reginam huius imperij deus delegit, ut rebelles & nefarios homines acerrimé punires, atque bonos ac humiles subditos diligeres, extolleres, atque foveres. Domina, & Regina illustrissima, memor quaeso esto tui, religionis, status huius Reipub. & ob occulos habeas, te rationcm villicationis tuae reddituram fore: si tuo munere in regendo benè defuncta fueris, oh quantam habebis mercedem, si autem malé (quod absit) judica, quantum supplicium. Christianè huc usque regnasti, & magis christianè regnabis, si cunctas Papistarum ceremonias funditùs delere determinabis. Compellant te literis sapientes, ut foeliciter cursum dirigas in omni sanctimonia, ut magnanimiter verbum Dei defendas, & Anti-Christi dogmata gnaviter repellas. Ad hoc te suadent mediocris ingenij homines, hoc inculcant docti, ut tuum officium piê ac fideliter exequaris adhortantur etiam nulla doctrina exculti. Audaciusscripsi, quam me decuit, sed spero te audaciae meae veniam daturam multòcitiùs procul dubiomihi ignosces, quòd in me non cadit adulationis crimen. Benè tibi volo▪ bene amimae tuae O Elizabetha Regina maximè catholica, utinam dignus Concionator essem in auditu tuo narrare gesta Papistarum stratagemata, narrarem per id temporis muka, nova, & vera, sed ea horrenda & ab omni Christiano pectore remota, veritatis evangelicae inimicorum facta. Sed hoc munus subeundi dignus non sum, non licet cuivis adire Corinthum, vereor me longior sit Epistola haec quàm aequum est, persuasum habeo, satis longam fuisse Epistolam si nihil aliud exarassem quam haec verba Asseclae Philippi quondàm regis Macedonum, Memento te mortalem esse. Dixi. Concedat Deus opti. max. tibi quod bonus animus tuus postulat in hoc seculo, & in futuro, pacem in utroque jam bis ad te scripsi illustrissima Regina primum librum laeto ut opinor fronte exmanibus meis excepisti, spe ducor te & hunc alterum libellum eodem animo bonam in partem accepturam esse, 1581.  
Humilimus Subditus tuus, joannes Nicolaus Cambritanus.   

To the indifferent reader.  
NEw books of divers sorts you have plenty (loving Readers) some books are written for to comfort the afflicted in mind, & confirm the faith of the godly, such are the books of the learned Divines, godly Preachers, and faithful Ministers of God his holy word, some books are written to incitate pleasure, to provoke carnal lusts, to feed fancies, to nourish vice, to maintain pride, and to magnify unhonesty, the authors of these books are men void of godliness, careless of their salvation, addicted to self will, the instruments of Satan, and men pleasers in iniquity, they that buy & embrace books wherein consisteth matter of defence in true religion, or a plain discovery of the hypocrisy of the wicked, or the manifestation of the corrupt lives of such as fight against their own conscience, (I mean Papists.) What Papist is there of any knowledge, learning, or reading in divinity, but he knoweth, seethe, and readeth the truth. D. Alen. D. Bristol, D. Nicolson, Parsonnes, Campion, & others, were sometimes Protestants, but now as Demas, Crescens, Titus, and Alexander, they are departed from us, because perhaps they would not, nor could not any longer abide with us, what shall I say of the Seminary men the most part of them all, forsook their Country for want of livings, for want of maintenance, there are fifty Scholars in the English Seminary at Rome, that could not tell what shift to make for their living here in England, therefore being loath to be taken as vagrantes, and burnt in the ear as Rogues, they thought it far better for the avoiding of this infamy to hazard their souls, to keep their ears whole, and their neck bone unbroken, they feared master Recorder of London very much, they thought it good to prove the Pope's liberality in renouncing the truth, which before they professed, and in acknowledging him to be their Christ, to be their Messiah, to be their jesuah. And for some succour sake, they outwardly feign themselves to be Papists, but inwardly the most part of them do see the truth, and confess they are in a wrong way, some of them oftentimes told me at Rome, whose names I omit to put in writing, hoping their conversion, (that the Romish faith was not the true faith.) Four of these with me determined very often, secretly to forsake Rome, and return to our country. But these four Scholars, by their familiar friends and fellow Scholars, were with much a do persuaded to remain at Rome, until by their rectors they should be sent to England. But as for me, what I once determined to do, by the sufferance of god, that I thought to bring to pass, persuasions could nothing cause me to change my purpose, I was persuaded by divers, both by the jesuits and by the scholars to remain at Rome, but I would not, nor could not unless I had despaired of my salvation, as I did during the time of my sickness, for that in hypocrisy I lived as a Papist, my conscience strived so mightily within me, that I feared not in talk with my fellows to speak against the romish religion, insomuch that oftentimes I was at Rome called heretic. I appeal unto them for testimony of this truth that have heard me so speaking at Rome, but what is this to the purpose, greater was my sin, that for any temporal living, I should forsake my God, wherefore very often troubled I am in conscience, and grieved in mind that I committed such an horrible offence in the sight of God. In deed I must needs confess that I believed unfeignedly a Monastical life to have been allowable before God, I granted invocation of saints, and as for transubstantiation I doubted, these two points of the Romish religion, I did hold a little before my conversion at the Tower, to have been firm and agreeable to God his holy word, and as for the third point which was transubstantiation, I could not tell what to think thereof, but now God be thanked I am resolved in these three points as a Christian ought to be, this treatise is called the book of Pilgrimage, for that in my peregrination I have seen with mine eyes the most things which I have written in this book for your instruction christian readers, not for any profit of mine, estimation, fame, or glory to be gotten thereby, as the Papists do surmise, I am briefer than I would be, and that because there are certain books scattered against me, and against my works, which books if I may get, I mean God willing to purge myself of the slanders and false reports of the adversaries, I take no great pleasure in writing, greater pleasure would I take to apply my studies, but seeing that the Papists seek to deface my sayings, it is reason that I should defend mine own cause as far forth as I may, if they flow in terms of Rhetoric, and seek to shadow the truth with their subtility, I would be contented with a plain style, so that I were able to bring forth somewhat in defence of truth. I crave the spirit of mildness, and not the spirit of scoffing, and taunting, which spirit they never want. Farewell loving readers, God grant you a perfect faith and to me likewise, and also for my former sins and hypocrisy, the fatherly visitation of God here in this world, that I may once feel God's love towards me a sinner, an abject and worms meat, God be merciful unto me, and confirm my faith. God forgive me mine hypocrisy, my wicked life, and lewd behaviour, God give me grace never to commit the like trespasses against his divine majesty, in word or deed. Be thou favourable O Lord unto Zion, build up the broken walls of jerusalem, forsake not thy Sanctuary, but save thine elect from the pernitions' customs of the wicke● world, so full of poison, so full of murder, so full of whoredom, so full of avarice, so full of contempt, and so full of security, that (alas) even with horror it swelleth to the top of the uppermost heavens, and it annoyeth the seat of the most highest. Such as are gone astray, God bring them home, such as are converted, God make them strong, such as are, and ever hereunto have been in the true faith of Christ, God give them perseverance unto the end, and in the end, such as are wicked, God make them good, God increase the number of his elect, God make us all his faithful servants, to reign with him in glory, and bliss in his kingdom of everlasting joy. Amen.  

I. N.  
If virtue fail,  
as it doth begin,  
The people must quail,  
and die in their sin:  
And if it decrease,  
God's curse is at hand,  
To destroy us, our peace,  
our souls, and our land.  
Therefore let us amend,  
God's plagues to prevent,  
For when life is gone,  
it is to late to repent:  
Take heed then to preaching,  
God's word to embrace,  
And learn to take warning,  
lest God you deface.   
IN not well perusing my copy, through my default, Christian readers, five or six gross words have escaped my hands to the print uncorrected, but yet they are not so gross and obscure, but that others more learned than I am in a matter more grave have written the like: wherefore let not these five or six words offend your modesty, neither think the worse of my book, if any other faults be escaped in the book, amend them I pray you, and construe them to the best.  
A Lessandro imperatore diceva, che il prencepe doveria sempre essere piu pronto & presto in dare, che in Pigliare. O noble detto da un prencipe, fv un altro che demando a Alessandro, dove erano tutte le sue richezze, che lui havena aquistate in tante guerre che lui havena fat: lui fece segn● verso i suoi sudditi, & disse, ne li cuori della mia gente, o noble prencipe dice lui che piu gran cosa puo desiderar un prencipe da i suoi sugetti, che fede e verita verso lui, che piu laudabil cosa in un prencipe, che liberalita & lenita verso i suoi sudditi: la liberalita di un povero si e il suo bon volere, che piu gran dono puo dare le huomo, che quello chegli vien dal cuore, fu un Re in thebe, che fu si liberale mentrevisse, che quando mori, non si gli trovo tanti denari apressoper sepe lirlo: non si gli trovo denari in banchi, oro in casse, richezze nascoste non giou in cofani, de quellise netrova pochi perch piu che le huomo hae piu lui ha da temer la mutabilita di fortuna, ogni uno e liberale in parlare ma pochifran chi in danare ogni uno parla contra innidia e malitia e purci odiamo l' un l'altro noi continualment esclamiamo contra tirannia, e pur siammo senza miserecordia, noi dispreziamo superbia, e pur siamo senza his manita, noi abhoriamo glottonia e ebrieta, & pur sempre siammo a banchetti, a feast: noi sempre gridiamo contraotio, e pur sempre siammo otiosi: noi sempre diciamo male de la lingua che scandaliza, e pur non sapiavo dir been dines uno. O Dio ache termine siamo, ogni uno ha invidia al suo prossimo, ogni uno cerca di avanza, l' altro. Io credo che il mondosia quasi ala fine.  
Essendo il prencipe giusto, il clero sancto, la chiesa been favorita, la republica emendata & tutto il regno pacefico, quel pren cipe, quel clero, quella chiesa, quella republica & quel regno saranno beneditti a dio. The Prince being just, the Clergy holy, the Church favoured well, the common weal amended, and all the Realm peaceable, that Prince, that Clergy, that Church, that comen Weal, and that Realm shallbe blessed of God.   

The Argument of the Dialogue.  
TRisander the Pilgrim, entereth in talk with his father Panteleon, and craveth leave to departed the Realm into other foreign countries, humbly beseeching his father to disburse him such sums of money as may suffice him in all his peregrination. His father fearing lest his son were seduced by some crafty Papist, asketh the cause of this importunate request to forsake his native soil and to wander he knew not whither. His son declareth the cause of this his petition, and the cause being known, his father yieldeth to his sons demand, and giveth him so much money as is sufficient for him, he exhorteth his son to be virtuous in living, pure in religion, patiented in adversity, and humble in prosperity. He exhorteth him also to be mindful of God, and not forgetful of himself. His father more esteeming his sons soul, than his body, & dreading the eternal destruction of the one, more than the temporal death of the other, to confirm his son the more in religion, (which as yet he holdeth firmly to be true and agreeable to God's word) showeth the corrupt lives of certain pope's, that by the knowledge thereof, he might the more warily look to himself, and the more prudently take heed of antichrist, the deceiver of thousand silly souls, that are taken captive by his great threatenings, princely gifts, glorious promises, Papal countenance, singular hypocrisy, cavilling Sophistry. bulls of excommunication, and other sinister means.   

¶ The first Dialogue, Wherein the corrupt lives of certain Popes are discovered, who arrogantly to the derogation of the divine authority, claim to themselves the title, and name of supreme Pastor, and chief head in the Church of God.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Panteleon his father. Trisander. 
OH out alas, my mind is sore troubled, I am grieved at the heart, I know not what to do, day and night I pass over with grievous complaints, bewailing the time wherein I was borne little rest I take, and less meat I eat. In the day time I walk the fair green fields oppressed so sore with divers thoughts, that no man is able to assuage my pain and dolour, but only my dear father. Wherefore I think it best to unsold to him the cause of this my grief. Oh Father, whom, next under God and my Prince, I love above all earthly things, whom I obey likewise, & whom I reverence with all humility. Oh father, I say, you are he that hath begotten me, nourished me, and brought me up from mine infancy in learning and virtue: you loved me dearly, as a Father should love his son. These five and twenty years I lived under your regiment and all this while I wanted neither meat nor drink, I lacked no apparel nor money in my purse, I had all things at my will, and at my request: Such a father you were unto me, as to leave I am very sorry. And yet alas I must leave you and departed from you, I cannot choose: I am so constrained, will I, nill I, yea I must needs forsake you. And where heretofore I have had plenty of all things belonging to the body, hereafter I am like to feel scarcity to the maintenance of this my little corpse. Notwithstanding, the very grief of mind wherein I languish, moveth me perforce to crave your favour and licence to be absent from you, for three or four years space.  Panteleon. 
What son Trisander, how cometh this to pass, that you are so vexed in mind, and your countenance so soon changed? Is it, because you are loath to dwell with me? What have I done against you? Have I grievously offended you? or have I withdrawn my fatherly affection from you, that should provoke you to be so sad, & so suddenly too seek to departed from me? If I have nothing degenerated from the nature of a father, what should then move you to crave my favour to be absent from me? I pray you good son tell me the cause of this your passioned mind: and without dissimulation utter the same, then shall unquiet thoughts and troublesome imaginations avoid from me. Speak on, be not afraid.  Trisander. 
You ask loving father, why I am in such perplexity of mind, fields oppressed so sore with divers thoughts, that no man is able to assuage my pains and dolour, but only my dear father. Wherefore I think it best to unsold to him the cause of this my grief. Oh Father, whom, next under God and my Prince, I love above all earthly things, whom I obey likewise, & whom I reverence with all humility. Oh father, I say, you are he that hath begotten me, nourished me, and brought me up from mine infancy in learning and virtue: you loved me dearly, as a Father should love his son. These five and twenty years I lived under your regiment and all this while I wanted neither meat nor drink, I lacked no apparel nor money in my purse, I had all things at my will, and at my request: Such a father you were unto me, as to leave I am very sorry. And yet alas I must leave you and departed from you, I cannot choose: I am so constrained, will I, nill I, yea I must needs forsake you. And where heretofore I have had plenty of all things belonging to the body, hereafter I am like to feel scarcity to the maintenance of this my little corpse. Notwithstanding, the very grief of mind wherein I languish, moveth me perforce to crave your favour and licence to be absent from you, for three or four years space.  Panteleon. 
What son Trisander, how cometh this to pass, that you are so vexed, in mind, and your countenance so soon changed? Is it, because you are loath to dwell with me? What have I done against you? Have I grievously offended you? or have I withdrawn my fatherly affection from you, that should provoke you to be so sad, & so suddenly too seek to departed from me? If I have nothing degenerated from the nature of a father, what should then move you to crave my favour to be absent from me? I pray you good son tell me the cause of this your passioned mind: and without dissimulation utter the same, then shall unquiet thoughts and troublesome imaginations avoid from me. Speak on, be not afraid.  Trisander. 
You ask loving father, why I am in such perplexity of mind, and why my visage is so altered. You demand, whether by your means I was so sore offended, that thereof my grief, sorrow, and woeful anguish should arise. You ask what moved me to ask your leave to departed from you. I tell you unfeignedly, that I have found you ever a loving father, and such a one as never offended me, or did otherwise then a father should have done unto his natural child. But why I seek licence to be absent from you for the space of three or four years, is a desire that I have to go to strange Countries, to view those things which are not to be seen in thy my native soil.  Panteleon. 
Oh my son, what? have you greater desire to travel abroad amongst unacquainted people, then to tarry at home with your familiar friends. But is there no other thing that embeldeneth you to forsake me your father, & to wander you know not whither?  Trisa. 
Yes father, the love the I have to diversity of tongues, & the hope the I have to be instructed therein, is partly the cause of this great desire which I have to forsake my native country for a while.  Panteleon. 
I see now my son, you desire to learn languages. It is very well, & I commend your intent. But for this so light a cause, would you departed from me, seeing you may learn languages at home?  Trisander. 
How can I, loving father attain to the knowledge of languages at home, seeing that our Country men use but one kind of speech?  Panteleon. 
Though the people of this land have but one language in general, yet some there be, as merchants, Gentlemen, & others, that understand & speak divers languages, and by such you may be instructed very well, without traveling any further.  Trisa. 
By what means, (I pray you father tell me) came they to the knowledge and understanding of so many languages?  Panteleon. 
I tell you, by traveling to far countries.  Trisander. 
If they learned this and that language, by going to this and that Country, wherefore then (loving father) will you deny me leave so to travel as they have traveled that I may learn as they have learned, this & that language?  Panteleon. 
They were merchants, and so are not you.  Trisander. 
But you have said that there were Gentlemen, as well as Merchants, that could speak divers languages. These Gentlemen in going from kingdom to kingdom, have gotten this knowledge of tongues, which merchants have obtained. Being a Gentleman then, as ye know me to be, grant me leave to travel, as they have traveled.  Pante. 
Doth the love of languages enforce you to forsake me, & to wander in foreign soils, is there nothing else that persuadeth you hereunto.  Trisa. 
I have told you my father, that it is the desire of languages the thus as you see disquieteth my mind, and moveth me so earnestly to crave leave to visit other Countries.  Panteleon. 
If there be nothing else than the desire of languages that driveth you into this perplexity of mind, I have an especial friend, that hath been a great traveler this long time, and now is returned home: he I am assured will teach you my son what language you can desire.  Trisander. 
Albeit you have such a friend loving father, that can teach me what language I can wish, yet I cannot so soon be taught to speak readily, and perfectly the understanding of any language. But if I were beyond the seas, I could in small continuance of time and with little pains, learn the language of that country whereto I traveled.  Panteleon. 
I see son you will not be persuaded to tarry at home with me, and enjoy that which shall be left you after my death. Oh how unfortunate am I, that am father to such a son as will not be ruled by my counsel, nor persuaded to forsake his fond fancy. Oh son, I love you so dearly, that loath I am you should departed from me, and I am so careful of your life, both bodily and ghostly, that by my persuasion, advice & counsel, I would have you prevent the evils & dangers incident to travelers, by tarrying at home. Ask whatsoéuer I have of worldly substance to set you forwards amongst the best of your degree, yea boldly crave it, nothing shalt thou want: if thou have a pleasure to hunt, and hawk, I will give thee leave, and maintain thee so to do, thou shalt have all things at will and commandment if I may procure the same for thee. Why wilt thou then depart, & refuse all these proffers, joys, and pleasures? be advised my good son, take counsel in time before it be too late, & when time & place will not serve me when and where to help thee.  Trisander. 
Oh father your mournful words do cause my heart to bleed. What with sorrow and pain, what with grief and anguish the very tears trickle down mine eyes. Oh how heavy is my heart to hear such words? Why are you more pensive than others have been, when their sons have forsooken them? be not (I pray you) more unwilling to grant me leave to departed out of my country, than others were to give their son's licence to travail to foreign countries. In one day I shall learn more in the understanding of any tongue, then hear in a whole year. For there I that hear nothing else but that language spoken, with I covet to learn, but here not so. For here in this my native country is spoken the language which I speak & under stand, and which my mother taught me.  Pan. 
Seeing my words are but wind, & will not prevail, tell me then to what country chiefly art thou bend to go?  Trisander. 
My mind and purpose is, if it may please God, and you my dear father, to make a voyage into Italy, there to behold the stately Cities, to see the fertile fields, pleasant hills, batefull pastures, shadowing woods, the plenty of all kind of trees and groves, the abundance of corn, vines and olives, fair cattle, sweet springs, fountains, lakes, rivers, and havens. For the country of Italy, is as it were an open lap, to receive the trade of all countries. My feet do covet to make haste to this noble land most dear father, & therefore give me leave to travel forthwith into that famous region.  Panteleon. 
You talk of Italy, my son, as though you had been there: but in Italy you were never I am sure, tell me therefore whom hast thou hard to praise Italy so much, that thou shouldest with such words extol the same.  Trisander. 
One who was both a gentleman and also well learned, who had been in Italy, & passed through many a fair City, as Rome, Naples, Bolonia, & Genua, with many more. He was a godly Gentleman always, and I take him to be so still: for he ceaseth not to pray to God, both night and day, nor to call upon the name of the Lord: he fasteth twice a week, he giveth alms unto the poor very liberally of that he hath. Now because this Gentleman is both virtuous of life, and true in his reports, I am the more inflamed with ardent desire, to see the Italian Country.  Panteleon. 
Good loving son, the Gentleman (of whom you spoke, before) & whose person I do know) I will never discommend, he may be learned and virtuous, I say not to the contrary, but yet tell me (my son,) was it he alone, or else many in number, that caused thee to be so desirous to travel to Italy?  Trisander. 
It was he alone, and none other that reported these words to me.  Panteleon. 
I like it so much the better, because thou saidst he was both learned, and godly. But canst thou tell where he was borne, and what is his name?  Trisander. 
A Saxonian borne, and his name is Rhodoman.  Panteleon. 
But what religion did he profess, canst thou answer me to that?  Trisander. 
He counted the Pope as Antichrist, his religion profane, and of his Church he esteemed as of the Synagogue of Satan. He believed whatsoever is written and contained in God's holy word, he misliketh the doctrine of meritum congrui & condigni: & as for being justified by his works, it is no part of his opinion. He denieth the real presence of the Lord in the Sacraments. He believeth no other thing then the word of God willeth him to believe, therefore I am persuaded his religion is good.  Panteleon. 
I am glad thou hast talked with such a Christian, and because thou art so fully minded to travel to Italy & other countries, I am contented to grant thy request, to travel whither thou wilt, for three or four years space.  Trisander. 
I thank you gentle father, but I desire moreover, that you give me so much money as may be sufficient to carry me throughout my voyage, so shall not I having money enough, do that which I would not.  Panteleon. 
Hold, I give thee three hundredth pound in gold use it well, and spend it not prodigally.  Trisander. 
I thank you good father, I request no more, this is enough for me: I will use your money well, and will spend no more than I must needs.  Panteleon. 
My son, thou art young, lusty, and prone to commit folly: wherefore I counsel thee to bridle thy fancies, to banish evil thoughts, and to cut off all occasion of any vice that may hinder thy voyage, and pronoke the wrath of God against thee. If the lust of the flesh entice thee, and the concupiscence of the eye allure thee to evil, tame thyself with fasting and prayer, & call for the assistance of God's spirit, be circumspect in thy talk, lowly in thy behaviour, ready to suffer all railings & revilings: if thou be abused with ill speeches, give fair words again, & if thou be offended with reproaches, offend not again: if thou be had in derision, deride not again. Moreover to what country soever thou comest, use thyself gently, soberly, mildly, and humbly: be ready to pleasure all, loath to displease any: if the manners of the people be rude, let not their rudeness move thy patience, and feign thyself always needy, than thy expenses shall not be so great, neither shalt thou be in any great danger of thieves. Before you receive any thing, ask the price: if the thing doth like thee take it with thanks, and pay that thou promisest: if the thing be proffered for more than it is worth in value, refuse it with courteous speeches. Now for thy lodging thou mayest be so bold as to crave a view of thy chamber, & of thy bed if the same doth not content thee, pay for a buccale of wine, & seek another lodging for thy contentment. In all thine affairs use thyself honestly, and practise humility, so mayest thou travail whether thou wilt as safely as in thine own country.  Trisander. 
Loving father I thank you, this counsel is good, & may save me from many dangers: God grant I do, as I am counseled, than I am sure, I shall give no occasion of wrath, to any man luing. Your exhortation good father, I will accomplish if the I may, in every respect. For I will so behave myself, that no stranger shall be displeased with me, if I may choose.  Panteleon. 
If thou dost so, thy state shallbe the safer. But I must tell thee one thing, and mark the same diligently, In traveling thou must needs fall in the company of Papists, take heed they deceive thee not: and when thou comest to Rome, suffer not thyself to be seduced, for they will make thee believe (unless thou stand steadfast in thy faith) that the Bishop of Rome is the universal head over the Church of God. Dost thou not see (say they) how beneficial the Pope is to Pilgrims, what Churches he buildeth, what high ways he mendeth, what company of strangers he daily sustaineth, how many hospitals he findeth, how many scholars he maintaineth, how devoutly he cometh once & month into his chapel, how reverently he giveth the peopls' benediction, how he never misseth twice a day to say his breviary, what pains he taketh, with orators, leagates, and such others, in hearing their causes? surely this man, if he were not of God, he would not be so liberal, in supplying the want of the needy: neither would he be so painful in causes ecclesiastical: Therefore (say they) persuade thyself, the Pope is here on earth in Christ's stead, he is Peter's successor, and may bind and loose whom he list: he may save whom be loveth, & destroy whom he hateth, he hath the same authority here in earth, in heaven, in purgatory, and in hell, that Christ himself hath in all these places. Oh take heed my son, these words are venomous, and as bitter as gall: beware, and never condescend to the opinion of these stifenecked Papists. The Pope hath no virtue in him, but all vice and hypocrisy. Let them brag of the Pope, until they be weary, yea nevertheless thou shalt find (my son) that the Pope is very antichrist, as by his life and religion most manifestly shall appear. I will tell thee (my son) of the parents of this Pope gregorie the thirteenth, otherwise named (and that properly) hugo, (that is to say) hugh: and by his surname boncompagnion, good fellow. His father at the beginning was such a one as sold old wares (which the Italians termed vechio) as old iron, old shows, old apparel, and such like things. This man at last became somewhat rich, and used the trade of merchandise. Now this Pope Hugh was borne at Bolognia, and brought up in learning there, where he studied the Civil and Canon laws, and became public professor of both those laws in that City, where he was borne. At Rome, and else where, before he was made Cardinal, he bore many offices, as it was reported unto me. Some in Bolognia, told certain of my acquaintance, that this Pope was married, and by that wife begat those children who are as yet alive. Some say otherwise, that he was never married, but say that those whom he calleth his sons, are in deed his Bastards: but whatsoever they be, they are Gentlemen, whether they be so in condition or no, I can not tell, but I am sure they are noble men in wealth, and in wordly pomp. The Pope's sir name is boncompagnion, good fellow, for that one of his Graundsyers' accompanied himself with another Italian, to kill a Serpent, who did much hurt in the Country of Italy, in slaying both man and beast: and for this cause the Serpent being stain, by one of this Pope's Grandsires, and by another Italian, from that day forwards he was called boncompagnion, and so was his father surnamed, and this Pope likewise. This Pope hath a brother in Bolognia, who hath the charge of many affairs, and also the Pope's bastard, though some call him his Nephew, he hath the rule of all things at Bolognia.  
This Pope hath his protrature lively set forth in many places of that City: and gave commandment to the Bolognians that his statute should be erected there: In deed his stature is erected at Rome, is erected in the Capitol. The Pope is liberal to those, by whom he hopes that the ruins of his kingdom shallbe repaired: he is beneficial to English men, and to Germans. For he hopeth that by their wit and policy, by their industry and labour, he shall recover to himself those countries again and have them in subjection. What the life of this Pope is, thou mayst read (my son) in diverse books, as thou travailest to other countries, but this I will say as I was informed by credible persons that had been travelers to Rome, that Omnia in curia Romana sunt vaenalia. All things are to be sold for money in the Court of Rome. If any man hath committed murder, if any man hath lived in adultery, if any man hath offended in gluttony, or drunkenness, or what so ever crime he hath committed, come to this Pope with your purse full of money, and for your silver you shall be absolved and forgiven of all your sins. But if you come with an empty purse, you shall depart as you come, without any indulgence and pardon of your sins: no penny no pater noster. If any will release his brother from purgatory, let him provide money, and an owl will fly with his brother to heaven, will you have Agnos dei, grava benedicta, medalla, crosses, beads, etc. Then go to this Pope and bring him a satchel of money, and you shall have all these things. Oh my son I tell thee the truth before these my neighbours. For a brother of mine hath dwelled with the Pope's chief Chamberlain, and hath seen the practices of this Pope Gregory the thirteenth, and knoweth the fashions of his Court. Let not his hypocriste delude thee, neither lef his magnificent gifts deceive thee: thou shalt overthrow by his supermajestical stateliness, that he is the son of perdition: he can not take the pains (being lusty of age) to go on foot from his chamber to his chapel upon festival days, but must be carried on eight scarlet men's shoulders.  
Oh pride, Lucifer like. When he goeth in procession, in the City he is honoured as Christ, over his head must carpets be laid, the walls must be covered with the same, and the streets strewed with flowers and rushes.  
The swishers are placed as it were in battle array, the meaner fort with their torches go before, the richer Citizens follow after, the Novices of moffe monasteries follow them, then come the fat belled Monks, Friars, Abbots, priors, and such like, after them the bishops, them the Pope's Chamberlains, with his Mitres, and after them follow the Cardinals, then appeareth the Pope, not going on foot, but carried on men's shoulders very pontyfically, the trumpets sounding, the double Cannons are charged. Which pontificallitye Christ himself never used, and therefore this excessive pride severeth the the Pope from the Imitation of Christ's steps.  
Thou shalt see my soon, that the Pope is not virtuous in deed though he be so accounted, but full of hypocrisy.  
He is (as the brute goeth at Rome) the cause of dissensions in divers Countries, and he only was the cause of the late rebellion in Ireland. For commandment was given unto them of the seminary by the Pope, that they should pray daily for the prosperous success of Doctor Saunders his affairs in Ireland. This Pope succoureth rebels and traitors, that in the time of the last commotion fled out of the North.  Trisander 
I understand now (father) that you are very well acquainted with one or other, that lately hath been at Rome.  Panteleon. 
Have I not told thee (my son) that my brother dwelled with the Pope's chief chamberlain? it was he that knew all these things, and reported them unto me.  Trisander. 
Truly this report shall be a caveat unto me, to beware of the Pope's engine ready prepared to entrap imprudent and undiscreet persons. All the persuasive words in the world shall not make me brook him.  Panteleon. 
In so doing happy shall I be, that have such a godly and obedient son.  Trisander. 
But father, by your patience I will ask one question: were all Pope's wicked in their living, as they are Heathenish in their religion?  Panteleon. 
Son, thou askest me a doubtful question. If thou askest whether all Popes wanted moral virtues, and such as the Gentiles had, or whether they all lacked those Christian virtues, which are the fruits of the Christian faith: whether thy demand be of the first or of the second, tell me without any dissimulation.  Trisander. 
I ask, whether all pope's that arrogantly claimed to themselves Supremacy in earth, and the false pretenced succession of Peter in the See Apostolic, were profane in conversation of life.  Panteleon. 
There were no such arrogant Popes, but they lived only Christianlike, and as their religion was repugnant to God's word, so their life and manners were contrary to the commandment of the living God.  Trisander. 
But father, can you tell their names, and how impiously they lived?  Panteleon. 
What their names were I know, and what their manners were likewise I know of certainty: but forasmuch as I have said somewhat of Pope Gregory the xiii. I think it not amisss to tell what his predecessor was, and how he came to the Popedom, this Pope Pius Quintus descended of very poor Parentage, as at Rome is reported of him. At Minerva, he was a Dominican Friar for a certain space, than he became Prior of that Monastery, at what time Cardinal Morone was suspected for one that savoured not of Popish religion. Wherefore this Prior Dominican was sent by the Pope to hear Cardinal Morons confession, which when he undertook, and thought to have heard the Cardinal's confession, he was rejected, for that he was neither Bishop nor Cardinal: But a poor Friar.  
This Dominican returned back again to the Pope's Court, and told the Pope that Cardinal Morone disdained to take him for his confessor, being no Cardinal, but a poor Dominican. The Pope hearing these words, was much out of pactence, he was sore offended, and his wrath was so kindled, that in his angry mood, he called for a Cardinal's hat, and gave it unto this Dominican, willing him forthwith to go again to Cardinal Morone.  
Now when he came Cardinal like, Cardinal Morone submitted himself, yielded to make his confession before him, to answer to any Article that he had to lay against him, and in his examination he showed himself conformable to the Pope's Laws. It happened afterwards, that this Pope died, and then, (as the order is) the College of Cardinals assembled together, in a certain appointed place of the Pope's Court, to elect and choose amongst themselves, some meet man to take upon him the charge of so great and Satanical function. The whole College of Cardinals, that were present there, except this one Dominican Cardinal, gave their assent and consent to this Cardinal Morone, that he should have been Pope: but when this Dominican Cardinal was asked why he gave not his voice with the rest, he made this answer, I will never (saith he) give my voice to any person suspected of heresy. Then spoke Cardinal Morone I will not be Pope, though I might.  
Hereupon all the Cardinals were willing, that this Cardinal Morone should elect whom he best fancied, to be Pope of Rome, which thing being granted unto him, he uttered these words, saying. I know none more worthy to be made Pope, than the Cardinal of Alexandria, who refused to give his voice to my election, for that some time I was suspected to be an Heretic: a worthier man than he to bear rule, may seldom or never be found though we sought for one through out the world. Therefore seeing your graces good will and pleasure, was, that I should choose whom I best liked to the Popedom, I nominate and pronounce this Cardinal of Alexandria. These words thus uttered, every Cardinal in his degree doing obeisance, came and kissed this new Pope's feet. This Pope had a nephew, (supposed of some Romans to have been his bastard) whom he created Cardinal over that City Alexandria, whereof he himself had been Cardinal before. This his nephew (or rather as the common bruit or same goeth at Rome) was bound apprentice to a poor Tailor, who dwelleth in the English Seminary at Rome: and because he was altogether unapt for that science, this poor tailor came unto his uncle, the aforesaid Pope Pius Quintus, (but then a Dominican Friar in the monastery of Minerva) and told him that his nephew was unfit to be a tailor, for that he saw no towardness at all in him touching that Art. But see now (my son) how fortune favoureth fools, how she exalteth the unworthy. For this fellow, the Pope's nephew can scarce read his Mass book, much less understand it, and yet lo, on a sudden he is created Cardinal of Alexandria. This Pope his uncle, as the report goeth, was a better practitioner in hearing Nuns confessions, and fit to play the Cook, then to supply an office and room of such high dignity, to the which the Majesty of Emperors & kings, by the judgement of the Papists, is counted inferior. This Pius Quintus at the first was a beggar, than afterwards he became a Dominican Friar, and consequently, a Cardinal, and in fine a Pope. Thus fortune exalted him to high degrees of promotion. The recordation and remembrance of his pristinate and former state, before fortune had smiled on him, should by right have moved him to be humble and lowly to all men in his Papal Majesty.  Trisander. 
Truly Father, as for his base estate of birth, if his virtues were good, or if his excellency of wit was such, that it surpassed the wisdom of others. I dde not weigh nor make any account, nor do so vilely think of his simple Parents that therefore I should esteem him unworthy to have been (as he was) promoted to a higher degree of function.  Panteleon. 
Loving son, to the derogation of his promotion I speak not a word, and as for his Papal dignity, it doth not touch me who hath it, or who ever had it, either noble or unoble, poor or rich.  
But mine intention was to tell thee, how at the first he became Chapline to saint Dominicke, then afterwards Chamberlain to Beelzebub, and last of all, son to Lucifer, by marriage. For he married his begotten daughter pride.  Trisander. 
From such offices and degrees of function good Lord deliver us. I pray you father will you show me, if you can, what his life was, being Pope?  Panteleon. 
Yes that I can, and hue he lived I will declare to thee as followeth. He was a bloody persecutor of the Christians, and caused many a faithful believer of the Gospel, most lamentably to be burned: yea he was the cause of that butcherly effusion of Christian blood at Paris, and in all other places of France. His successor Gregory xiiii. wickedly allowed, the cruel handling & formentes showed upon the great Admiral of France, the instrument of God, for defence of true religion, and for the consolation of the afflicted Christians. Which fact is entered in marble stone, in the imperial hall of the Pope's Court, artificially set forth: but to speak of Pius Quintus, this Pope was certified by a certain Cardinal, that in Rome there was an noble man, son to a Duke, borne in Germany, differing from the Papists in religion and disagreeing with their doctrine. So soon as the Pope had heard these words, being moved with furious indignation, he cried unto the Cardinal, burn him, burn him: but the Cardinal being more merciful than the Pope, desired his graceless Antichristian Majesty, to command the young noble youth to appear before him, and so he did. When the young Noble man came before his presence, he did prostrate himself at the Pope's feet, at whom the Pope began so to rail, and so to threaten him, that the Noble man overcome with his threatenings of death, was ready to believe whatsoever he would have him believe, and so with his grim countenance and threatening words he perverted this Noble young man to the religion of perpetual destruction.  Trisander. 
Surely, this man was more bitter than prudent, and more greedy of undeserved subjection, then careful over the life of true Christians. Fie upon such a proud persecutor, from such Tyrants, libera nos Domine. But father, it was told me, that he was a great conjuror or Necromancer.  Panteleon. 
And in very deed (as I suppose) thou hast heard nothing but the truth in that. For surely at Rome it is reported that he did those things which no man could have done, unless he had been skilful in Necromancy: He foretold of the victory of the Venetians, and Dun de Austria, over the Turks. He came also up on a certain time out of his study and told them of the victory that were then in his presence: Now, (quoth he) the Turks are vanquished and slain. These words he might foretell by Necromancy, as I suppose, and not otherwise. For he had not the gift of prophesy being a Tyrant, and an open persecutor of the truth. This Pius Quintus was so well-beloved of his servants, that some of his Chamberlains had besméered his Crucifix with poison, so that when he came to pray, and approached to kiss the Crucifix, it ran away: & when he saw the Crucifix removing itself after that manner, he créeped nearer, but the more he créeped, the farther the Crucifix removed. This thing I think was done by the Art of Necromancy, but it was one of the miracles of his Grandfather Satan. But the Romans report him to have been familiar with God, and that he very miraculously preserved him always, and caused the stones to certify him of any imminent dangers. This man of sin was so bend to the heavenly treasures, that he cared not for worldly riches: for he gave all his goods to the poor, & made them Noble men and Gentlemen: but they were such poor as were his kinsmen, some of them Cousins and Nephews, to speak plainly his bastards.  Trisa. 
Of this Pope Pius Quintus I also (good father) have heard much. Was it not he (I pray you sir) that first excommunicated our gracious Queen ELIZABETH.  Pante. 
It was even he, but she never prospered better, nor this Realm did never flourish more then since it was by him excommunicated: therefore for his cursing we pass not, neither do we regard the thundering Bulls of excommunication of his successors.  Trisander. 
It is so, as you say, that the Pope's curse can do us no hurt: but can you tell me (father) whether they are chosen Popes by the means of their virtue, learning, and wisdom, or by the means of bribery, gold and silver?  Panteleon. 
I have told thee (my son) that in the Popedom there is no virtue, and therefore it is the more lightly to be regarded. Learned they must needs be, not in Scriptures, for that they defy them, but in the Civil & Canon laws, that they may know what is their own jure illicito, & may plead for that which is not their own jure Pontificiali. Wisdom is requisite in a Pope, whereby he may know gold from silver, gems and precious stones, from common stones which be in the streets. He must have wisdom to count them, wisdom to lock them up in his treasure house: he cannot be without wisdom to pick out the best gold from the bad, to give to his waiting gentlewomen at bed and board. He must moreover have wisdom to provide for his bastardely children, which he begot whiles he was a soul Priest to the Putanne in the Bordello or whilst he said Mass elsewhere for money, to supply the necessity of any sober Courtesan, and deflowered Virgin. Such learning and wisdom, as before is recited, every Pope must have, and every Gentleman. Bribery, large gifts, and great promises must help him to that Papal dignity, or else he shall go without it, as most commonly it falleth out, unless perhaps some poor Cardinal be made Pope, and compoundeth with the college of Cardinals that the Papal revenues be equally parted amongst them all of the College of Cardinals.  Trisander. 
But what if a man had plenty of money? then peradventure he might be made Pope, and rule the roast at his pleasure.  Panteleon. 
If a man had money, as thou sayest, great plenty, he should quickly be made Pope of Rome, as it said of john the xviii. a Grecian borne, who obtained the place by bribery, sedition, and hurly burly. This man brought so much money to Rome with him, from Constantinople, as that he was able therewithal to draw and tempt unto him, aswell the wise and wary, as the simple sort, to be of his faction: whereby he corrupted Crestentius the Consul, violently to abuse Pope Gregory, and to drive him out being a German, and so purchased the Popedom, and the sequel thereof. But of those things that he and his train set to sale in his Popeship, Mantuan writeth thus:  
Pernices mercatur equos, vaenalia Romae,  
Templa, Sacerdotes, Altaria, Sacra, Coronae.  
john the xiii. being the son of Albericus the son to Maozia, obtained to be pope, partly by the bribery, and partly by the threatening of his father Albericus being Prince. Before the Emperor Otho, in an open Synod, it was laid to his charge (as Lutherandus writeth in his sixth book) that he never said Matins, that incelebrating the Mass he himself had not communicated, that he made Deacons in his stable among his Horses, that he had committed incest with two harlots being his own sisters, that he played at Dice, prayed to the Devil to send him good luck, the for money he admitted boy as to be Bishops, that he had ravished virgins, and strange women, that he had made the holy pallance of Lateran, a Stews & Brothelhouse, that he had deflowered Stephana his Father's Concubine, and one Rainera a Widow beside one Anna another Widow, and her niece: that he had put out the eyes of Benedict his Ghostly father, that he used common haunts, that he ware armour, and set houses on fire, that he braced open doors & windows by might, that he took a cup of wine and drunk to the Devil, and never blessed himself with the sign of the Cross. These and many more odious Articles, were laid to his charge: Whereupon the Emperor by the consent of the Prelates deposed him: and Leo the eight was set up in his steed. But so soon as the Emperor was gone, those Harlots that had been his companions, inveighed the Nobles of Rome, promising them the treasures of the Church to depose Leo, and to place john again: which they did out of hand for desire and covetousness of the treasures of the Church. Thus Leo whom the Emperor appointed, was deposed, and john established again. So that you see (my son) how this Pope who was once deposed, is restored again to the See antichristian.  Trisander. 
But Father do they all climb to the Popeship with money, with briberic, and dissension?  Panteleon. 
Not all (my son) for some obtained the popeship by Magic, as Benedict the menth, who before was called Theophilact, the son of Albericus, and nephew to Pope john xxi. As he by conjuring and devilish Arts, did first advance his uncles, Benedict the eight, and john xxi: So now, by his Magical Art, he brought to pass, that he succeeded them. This Benedict, after the death of Conradus, conspired with his councillors Laurence, and john Gratian, to disherit his son Henry the third of the Empire, and to plant in his steed Peter king of Hungary: and therefore he sent the crown of the Empire to him with this verse:  
Petra dedit Roman Petro, tibi Papa coronam.  
The Rock to Peter gave Rome the town,  
The Pope to thee Peter giveth the crown.  
Sylvester the third, obtained to be Pope by Magical sorcery, and that at the hands of his father Laurence the famous coniverer. For thus saith Benno after Benedict was driven out, and the Popeship sold, john Gratian being in the place, john Bishop of Saba was thrust in upon him, and called Sylvester the third. Thus these three being Popes all at once, divided the Church of Rome into divers factions: For what with cruel wars, and great bloodshed, the Church was torn in pieces, foully mangled with Schisms, and choked with errors, while under the colour of wine it gulled in poison. Thus wrote Benno of that wretched time. This Sylvester enjoyed the room of Pope but a while for within xxix. days, the friends of Benedict, with great tumult restored him to that which he had first both lost and sold. Anno dom. 1041. Pope Benedict made one Cazamirus, a Monk in Clunace Abbey, & a Deacon, king of Poleland, upon this condition, the for every head in Poleland, he should pay yearly to the Pope, and his successors, an ordinary sum of money: and furthermore, that they should not let the hair of their head grow long, and that they of Poleland should remember for ever, how that this polling had given them a shaven king out of an Abbey. Sergius the iiii. came to be Pope by Magical charms, and in his Popedom he exercised the same sorcery still, by which he obtained the seat. john the nineteen. an Italian succeeded Sylvester the second, and gate to be pope by the devils aid: for (saith Benno) the scholars of the said Sylvester, every one gaped for the Popedom. john the xx. called Fasanus, got the Popedom by magic and conjuring. For from the foresaid Sylvester, till Gregory the seven. (a notorious person) all the Popes were famous enchanters: by their charming they stirred up walking spirits, bugs, goblins, fiery sights, and divers terrible ghosts and shapes of things, with howlings, and groanings, about dead men's graves, persuading the simple people, that they were dead men's souls, & those spirits that being conjured up by priests, deluded men, dissembling that they were ●e souls of the dead, complaining of ●heir intolerable pains in Purgatory ●●e, and craving to be released by the me ●●torious deeds of their friends & kinded, bestowing Diriges, Masses, and Trentals upon them. Sylvester the se●onde, of whom mention is made already, betook himself to the Devil, both ●ody and soul, to be made Pope, and miserable ended his life in the palace of ●he holy Cross, which is called Hierusa●em, as he said Mass, and the Devils were ready to receive him into their hellish habitation. He commanded ●is tongue and his hands (as writeth ●enno) to be cut of, because that by them he had blasphemed God, in Sacrificing ●nto Devils: thus he died a reprobate, Anno. Dom. 1003. The report of him is this, that the Tomb of this Sylvester doth ever since Prognosticate the death of the Pope, by the rattling of the bones, and the gushing out of the water that rises out of the ground about it: as also (saith Platina) it is testified by the epitaph written upon his grave. Many such Popes could I recite, which by enchantments, and magic, obtained th● Popeship, whom for brevity sake I omit.  Trisander. 
Why then (father) i● these forenamed persons by Magical Ar● became pope's, it is easy for cunning conjurers to be made Popes. I thought that the holy Ghost chose them to been Popes, but now I see the Devil getteth them the Popeship: the Devil himself being the Author of Necromancy, i● he would transform himself into the likeness of a man should be exceedingly esteemed amongst the Papists.  Panteleon. 
And so he should in deed but because he is a spirit, he placeth in his room some ambitious mortal wretch as his Vicegerent, with conditions to be observed and kept of every Pope.  Trisander. 
Father, must they be all men, that are Popes? was there never woman Pope?  Panteleon. 
There is no matter whether they be men or women that are made Popes. For as long as they are Satan's Vicars here on earth, they may be both he and she Popes: but I read ●f one woman that was made Pope of Rome.  Trisan. 
But can you tell me her name, where she was borne, and how she came to the Papacy?  Pan. 
Yes that I can. Her name was ●oan the eight, and because of her bringing up under a certain Englishman, a monk of Fulda (whom she loved tenderly) her name was altered, and she was called john English: she sat as Pope in the Pontifical seat of Rome two years, and six months, she was a German by birth, and borne in Mentz. She was called at the first Gilberta, a lecherous beast, and such a one, as for the more enjoying of her levers company, & the better avoiding of suspicion, dissembled her kind, and put herself into man's apparel, and so traveled with the Monk her Paramour, to Athens who being dead she came to Rome, still disguising herself, and counterfeiting to be a man. For through the promptness of her wit, and her ready tongue, she talked eloquently in public lectures and disputations: and many had her in admiration for her learning she grew into so great credit, and wa● so well liked of all, that Leo the pope b●ing dead, they chose her in his room: 〈◊〉 which office, as other Popes had don● she gave orders, made Priests & De●●cons, promoted Bishops, creat●● Abbots, said Masses, hallowed Alte● and Churches, ministered the sacrament● gave men her feet to kiss, & did all oth●● things belonging to the Popes: and h●● doings stood in force. But in the time of h●● Popeship, Lotharius the Emperor being an old man, became a Monk, an● Lewis the second came to Rome, and received of her the Sceptre and Crown of the Empire, with Peter's blessing whereby the whore of Babylon shew●● herself so mighty, that she made king stoop unto her. Apoc. cap. 7. Further more, (as Hovedemus saith) in her tim● Ethelwolphus king of England ga●● the tenth part of his kingdom to th● Priests and Monks, to pray for hi● soul: and his son Ethelwaldus married judith a widow, the late wife 〈◊〉 his own father, and his Stepmother But as touching Pope joan, she was gotten with child by one of her familiar Chaplains, a Cardinal to whom her fleshly appetite caused her to disclose herself. For as she was going on Procession solemnly to Lateran Church, in the midst of the way, & in the open street, between Colossus & Clement Church, she was delivered of child, in presence of all the people, and died of her travel in the same place. For which wickedness she was stripped, and spoiled of all pontifical honour, and buried without any pomp or solemnity. Hereof Mantuan writeth, describing Hell in the third book of Alphonsus, thus.  
Hear long the dame that erst disguised,  
would seem a man to be,  
Whose head the Roman Mitre ware:  
with crest of crownets three,  
Who played a shameless strumpet's part,  
in place of Pope's degree.  
Lo, this is that seat that cannot err▪ being endued with the holy Ghost by succession, or rather an evident argument of the seat of Babylon. But the Popes since that time, in their Procession do shun that place, where she was delivered, as odious for the hap thereof Funcius saith boldly, that this was suffered by God's especial providence, that this woman should be made Pope, being also an Harlot, even then, when she should bring kings (as she did Ethelwolphus and Alphredus) in subjection unto her, whereby antichrist might bee● known. For than it was the lords pleasure, to bewray the whore of Babylon, in a Pope, being an whore. Wherefore the holy Ghost foretold it, Apoc. 17 that the elect might beware of her. But to avoid the like inconvenience of a woman for the time following, they devised that whosoever should be chosen Pope, should be searched very narrowly to be tried a man, & if he were, a cry should be made with a loud voice. Habet testiculos, dignus est Papari: A thing shameful to be reported, but used without shame, among such shameless shavelings. But now commonly they need not, when they choose them Popes, mistrust them to be women: for while they are Cardinals they play such carnal parts that they are able to bring forth bastards of their own begetting, to prove themselves men. Whereof one john Pannonius wrote a merry Epigram, in four Latin verses: testifying the truth of this their doing, of the which I omit the two first verses for civility sake. It may be gathered by these latter two, what is meant.  
Curigitur nostro mos hic iam temporecessat?  
Ante probat sese quilibet essemarem.  
How happeneth that this groping then,  
is used now no more?  
Because each one doth try himself,  
to be a man before.  Trisander. 
And will not the people for all this be reduced from their vain opinion, in taking the Pope to be Christ's Vicegerent, to the abhorring of that usurped high ambitious title of Supremacy?  Panteleon. 
My son, many are so obstinate, that they will never confess to the contrary: and the more wicked the Popes were in life and conversation, the more godly they think them to be.  Triasander. 
But were they all doers of mischief that became Bishops of Rome?  Panteleon. 
No, for all did not arrogantly claim to themselves Supremacy on earth. Linus a Tuscan borne, a man of pure and godly life, was Bishop of Rome: he was never puffed up with such pride, that he would name himself head of all Churches throughout the world. But this good man, according to the example of the Apostles, was not afraid to preach the Gospel, and for preaching of the same, suffered martyrdom under Saturninus the Consul, while Vespacian reigned. divers fancies are fathered upon this man, as that he decreed by the commandment of Saint Peter, being dead, that no woman should enter into the temple bareheaded: which cannot be, for there were no temples in Rome, till the time of Constantine the Emperor. For Christian congregations were constrained to live in deserts, woods, and mountains: they were enforced to dig them Caves under the ground, whereof many are yet to be seen at Rome, even to this day. Therefore these things may bewray the dotage of Platina, and others, who charge these first godly Martyrs with divers superstitions, devised by other long after. Anacletus the first borne at Athens, is placed by Irenaeus next after Linus: he was a man of an excellent and fervent spirit, and of great learning, he planted the Church of God with daily labour, and was put to death by Domitian. Anno. 94. Certain Epistles & decrees, stuffed full of falsehood, untruths and ambition, touching the ordering & primacy of Bishops, are counterfeited in his name. But Flaccus Illyricus, in the first century, doth so rip the seams of them, that every man may perceive what botched stuff it is. Beside Mantuan saith, that he lived not long in any such estate, as to have occasion to write of such matters, but in Caves and Dens, among woods. Clement the first, a Roman, advanced the Gospel by continual preaching and good deeds. They forge of him that he did divide Rome into Parish churches, which had scant a lodging in it. Again, they slander him that he made orders in Rome for confirmation of children, for Masses, Apparel, Vestures, and other Popish Ceremonies: and yet he (seely man) was of so small power and authority to establish these things in Rome, that he was a long time banished by the emperor, & he wed marble stones, till at length he was cast into the Sea, with an Anchor about his neck: Anno. 102. So writeth Mantuan. Fasto. 11. Evaristus the first, a Grecian, was especially endued with the grace of God, whereby in the time of persecution he ceased not to increase the Church of Christ by his diligent preaching; till he was martyred under trajan, An. 110. Alexander the first, a Roman, did travel painfully, both in preaching and baptizing, he suffered great torments, till he died thereof, under one Aurelianus fore● precedent to the Emperor: Ann. 21. Sixtu● the first a Roman, did both preach diligently, and did many good works, he● beautified the Church with godly deeds, ●eing always vigilant and careful for ●is flock, & died for it. Ann, 129. These three good Bishops are slandered with ●ertaine Popish decrees, as touching the consecrating of the Clergy, holy water, and holy vessels: but old verses made of these times, do testify, that they were not at such leisure, to furnish, or rather disguise the Church with these superstitious Ceremonies. Thus do some write of these times:  
Vrbibus antiqui patres fugere relictis, etc.  
The tyrants did our Ancestors compel,  
to fly to woods, & not in towns to dwell.  
Many such godly men, who were Bishops of Rome, I could recite, as Telesphorus the first, Higinus the first, Pius of Aquilia, Anacletus, Sother, Eleutherius, Victor, Zepherius, Calixtus the first, Vrbanus, Pontianus, Antheros, Fabian, Cornelius, Lucius a Roman, Stephanus, Sixtus the second, Dyonisi us, Foelix, Eutychianus, Gaius, or Caius, Marcellinus, Marcellus, Eusebius, Melchiades, Syl●ester the first, etc. Except this one bishop Silvester, all the rest gave their blood to be shed for testimony of their faith. these foresaid bishops never claimed the supremacy, as proud Popes do now a days, they never desired to be decked with such vain glorious titles, it was a thing which they never wished, nor never intended: yet were they bishops of Rome. And if the Supremacy were lawful for their successors, it had been much more lawful for than, being the succeeding pope's of their Predecessors. They knew well that Christ gave them no such prerogative above the rest of their fellow Bishops to be rulers over all: for they were Bishops, such as God loved, and such as loved God: they became not Bishops of Rome, to the end they might go in their Pontificalibus, to the end they might be richer than kings, or to the end they might command Emperors, Kings, Princes, and all estates, to do according to their fantastical mind, to make them kneel and kiss their feet. These Bishops were no such proud Lucifer like Prelates, they cared not for the vainglory of man, the deceitful pomp of his world, nor the glorious shows of his life: but all their delight was ●o preach the glad tidings of the Gospel's, to preach faith fixed in Christ, ●nd to preach repentance established in the mind, to preach the Sacrament of the Supper of the Lord, and to preach the Sacrament of Baptism: in confirmation of which their sound and perfect doctrine, they shed their innocent blood. But assoon as their successors vanquished with pride, and inflamed with ambition, took to themselves the name and title of the universal Bishop, and would have the Roman Church called the head of all Churches, than they reigned in the church of christians, without judgement or consideration of the heavenly spirit, they did cast their eyes on earthly things, forgetting Gods everlasting Testament, as if they regarded the flesh only, and not the soul. All their delight was in new Traditions, Ceremonies, buildings, pleasures, pomp, wars, treasons, and translations of kingdoms, so that they seemed to live in the glory of this world, & in contempt with Christ. Thus the Church under their government, is at length become the strumpet of Babylon according to the whole discourse of the Apocalyps. Yet men blinded by their own affections, and nouzeled in their own vanities, will needs confess these ungodly Popes to be Christ's Vicars here on earth, albeit their life be abominable, albeit many of them have believed the soul of man to have been mortal, and have taught that there was neither Heaven nor hell, neither God nor Devil, and have procured general disputations for that cause: as Clement the eight, who was a poisoner, a murderer, a bawd, an unclean liver, & that in such sort, as (if it were not for offending chaste ears) is not to be named. He is also charged with Simony, adultery, ravishing of women, perjury, conjuring, Church robbing: finally, to be fraught with all kind of villainy. And therefore a certain Poet wrote thus of him:  
Clementi nomen dedit inclementia fati,  
Bellorun hic fomes cunctorum lerna malorum.  
The inclemency of destiny gave this name to Clement. This man was a stirrer up of wars, & a worker of all mischief. john the xxiii. a Frenchman borne, ●aide, and stubbornly believed, that the ●oule of man dieth together with the bo●y, and is consumed to nothing, like the ●oule of bruit beasts: of which error ●ée never purged himself. These Popes are they, by the judgement of the Papists, that can never err: for the holy Ghost directeth them in all their doings. I would ask them this question, whither is the holy Ghost gone? or how both he direct them in all their doings, when they believe there is neither heaven nor hell, God nor Devil, and when they maintain this, that the soul of man is mortal? Surely the holy ghost is gone to prepare a place of miserere for such faithless Caitiffs. I could write many things touching the Popes of Rome, that lived most wickedly, and denied the immortality of the soul: but because thou art learned, thou mayest read (my son) of their lives at large in the histories of Platina, Christianus Masseus, Carsulan, Ptolomeus Lucensis, etc.  Trisander. 
The narration of the corrupt living, and horrible heresies of these Popes before recited, shall make me beware how I give credit to any proud Papist, that will have me confess the Pope to be Supreme head over all Churches.  Panteleon. 
God grant thou mayst do so: hold here, I give thee two hundred pounds, God bless thee, and make thee his servant.  Trisander. 
Far you well my good father.  Panteleon. 
Adieu my son.  
The end of the first Dialogue.   

The second Dialogue. Wherein mention is made of the lives of Cardinals and Bishops etc.  The speakers are Trisander the Pilgrim, and Tiptelichia his mother. Trisander. 
SEeing that I have obtained my father's good will, and received money sufficient for my voyage, I think it my duty likewise to request your leave (O loving mother) to travel to foreign Countries. The cause of this my request to travel to strange & foreign kingdoms I have already declared. I have taken my farewell of my father, and I mean to take my leave of you in like manner dear mother.  Tiptelichia. 
Son, seeing that your mind and pleasure is to departed from us: and seeing your father my husband hath satisfied your request, I am not to deny what you ask of me in that behalf. But forasmuch as your father tendering the safety of your soul, hath told you many enormities of the Popes, for your greater detestation of them, it behoveth me being your mother, to impart unto you my son a farther declaration of the corrupt lives of Cardinals and Bishops.  Trisander. 
To hear your talk touching the abominable and hypocritical life of Cardinals and Bishops, I would gladly give ear, that I may take heed of their delusions.  Tiptelichia. 
Then listen to my words, and mark what I say, I will tell thee but truth, and what I heard reported unto me by my brother that hath been a great traveler, & hath seen with his eyes those things which I shall recite unto thee.  Trisand. 
I pray you (mother) without farther tract of time, reveal unto me what your brother (my uncle) hath uttered unto you.  Tiptelichia. 
My brother being at Rome, hard of many that Cardinal Far ●n his youth loved a boy better than a woman, and in his old age (as it is supposed of many) of an Agent is become a Patient. Nam succumbit libidini quorundam Sodomitarum. Shamefastness prohibiteth me to tell this abominable practice of his in English. This is he notwithstanding, whom certain of the Papists writ to be virtuous and learned.  Trisander. 
But is not he the chief and principal Cardinal amongst all the rest in office and dignity?  Tiptelichia. 
Yes, and in his office is great: for he is the Pope's vicechancellor, and his revenues are likewise great. For his rents amount in the year to sixscore thousand Crowns, his servants are many, his house is sumptuous, and his going is majestical. This man wanteth no worldly pomp, no glory, no majesty, that may be lawfully demanded in respect of his courtly dignity, and princely revenues.  Trisander. 
I understand (mother) that his office is great, and his riches as great: but can you tell (gentle mother) whether he be a temporal or spiritual man, a secular or a Priest.  Tiptelichia. 
I understood by my brother, that his crown is shaven, and that he saith Mass, I suppose therefore he is a Priest after the order of jupiter, or of Venus, I cannot tell which.  Trisander. 
But is he learned? Can he preach? And doth he keep hospitality?  Tiptelichia. 
He is very well learned, for he understandeth the scriptures, as though they had not been written: and he is as cunning in the Doctors, as though he had never seen or heard of their writings. He speaketh as good latin, as there is in the Italian tongue, he is a singular good preacher, when he is in his garden of pleasure, and repast with his loving nieces, he hath a good gift in teaching: for he teacheth his cur dog to lick his Priestly beard. This man hath such a grace in utterance, that all the whelps he hath would commend him, if they had the gift of speech. He cometh as often to the Pulpit, as the Pope doth to England, to show himself Peter's Successor by life and doctrine.  Trisander. 
I see that this man is more glutted with dainty dishes of meat, them replenished with copy of wholesome places of Scripture: more fatted in eating of crammed Capons, than well read in the ancient and grave Doctors: and more occupied in playing with his fawning Spaniel, then exercised in preaching, and delivering the word of God unto the flock committed to his charge. But (mother) can you tell whether any other liveth so corruptly as this Cardinal hath, and (as far as I know) doth as yet?  Tiptelichia. 
Good son, to tell how the Cardinals of Rome lead their lives, contrary to their calling and profession: some (whom declaration of truth can never or hardly make pliable to embrace true reports) will think that whatsoever I reveal unto thee, touching their wicked and hypocritical lives, to be either feigned, or else uttered of malice, no● knowing that which I report unto thee t● be either true or false. be my words never so true, nor uttered of malice, ye● will the Papists say, that all things that I speak are false, and spring of a malicious and cankered stomach. But no faithful Christian may otherwise persuade himself, but that the Cardinals may now live as licentiously and lewdly, as they have in times past. What the life of many Cardinals and Bishops hath been in times past, the histories of their lives in sundry Historiographers books expressed may give sufficient notice unto the world 〈◊〉 and what I shall utter unto thee, shall be so true and manifest, the divers that have been in Italy, and have seen the fashions of those Cardinals & Bishops, may verify my words to be true.  Trisander. 
Are all Cardinals (I pray you) priests?  Tiptelichia. 
All, for the most part, have shaven crowns, and are bound to make a wheaten god of a wheaten cake, & to drink to Baal a carouse once every week.  Trisander. 
But do they preach as ●he superintendents in Germany, and as ●ur Bishops in England do?  Tiptelichia. 
They preach not after ●he same manner, for they preach in Coaches and in gardens, but the Bishops in Germany and in England preach in pulpits both in Churches and else where.  Trisander. 
It was told me, that Cardinal Medici's is a brave fellow, when he cometh to the pulpit, that he is a singular good scholar, and a passing Divine both in the Scriptures and Doctors.  Tiptelichia. 
He is a brave fellow in deed, albeit he never cometh to the Pulpit, his apparel is gay and costly, and he hath a comely body & a fair complexion. But surely he hath such an impediment (which they vulgarly call the cramp) in his feet, that he is not able to ascend or go up to the pulpit: and he hath such an ache in his back, that he may not be carried to the Pulpit without intolerable pain. Therefore, by reason of the cramp of slothfulness, & the ache of insufficiency, he hateth the Pulpit, as the mouse abhorreth the sigh● of the Cat. I confess he is a singular scholar to dispute with any Doctor, i● the knowledge of the making of goodly Rocks, fair mounts, and artificial mills under the ground. Moreover; I d● not deny but that he is a passing divine in the scriptures, & books of Venus, Diana jupiter, & Mercury, in the oracles of Apollo he is a skilful man, in the writings o● the Heathen doctors he is very well seen This Cardinal Medici's, a noble man by birth, a Papist by profession, and a shaveling by vocation, bestoweth more cost and expenses in his garden, house, and mount, then will satisfy the wants and necessity of three hundredth poor men. This thing is to be conjectured by the number of workmen, and by the cost linesse of every thing that appertaineth to the workmanship in his house. He hath caused the likeness of a lively rock to be made, and on each side thereof to be portraited the shape of naked women he hath laid out great riches in this & such like vanities, he hath consumed much Church goods in his mount of pleasure. For the charges that are bestowed in his ●arden, he is not much to be discommened, for that I think it requisite, that spiritual as well as Temporal men ●oulde have some worldly felicity. The ravest dames in Rome may be glad to recreate themselves in this pleasant garden, the like whereof I never saw, and ●et I have seen many, but ●●lacke, this Noble Cardinal abuseth himself to much, and abuseth the name of a Christian, in feigning himself to be one, where in deed he is none. Why doth he if he were not a Gentile) spend so much money in making such Gods as the gentiles had? No God of great renown was amongst the Pagans, amongst the Gentiles, amongst the unbelievers, but this Cardinal Medici's hath caused the like to be made.  Trisander. 
Mother you say that this Medici's is a Cardinal, and therefore a pillar of the Church of Rome: how can this Church stand, if the pillars do fail? Is it possible that a Cardinal may be a Gentile, and a Christian? a worshipper of God, & a runner a whoring after other Gods? I pray you (mother) tell me, who told you that Cardinal Medici's hath made the Statue of Venus, Diana, Mercury, juno, jupiter, Apollo, Hercules, and a hundredth more Gods?  Tiptelichia. 
My brother was he that hath seen these things with his eyes, and hath told me even as he saw them. There is no day in the year almost, except Sundays and holy days, but this Cardinal hath ten at the least that are about the making of the gods of the gentiles: they are to be seen in his garden, & in his house adjoining to his garden, I mean not his palace.  Trisander. 
But (mother) can you tell me whether all the rest of the Cardinals reserve the Gods of the gentiles?  Tiptelichia. 
All (for the most part) as cardinal Comedone, cardinal Columna, Cardinal Savello, Cardinal Farnefio, Cardinal Alexandrino, etc.  Trisander. 
Oh abomination of all abominations, that these worldly Cardinals should thus profane themselves in making and keeping the Idols of the gentiles, should thus usurp unto themselves the name and title of Christians, should in word profess Christ, but in avowing and having these dumb, deaf, and insensible Idols, utterly deny him. Oh men void of the grace of God, what should they do with these Statues, that were the Gods of the Gentiles, if they would be counted Christians? But in deed they do as Antichrist their graund-captaine doth, and alloweth.  Tiptelichia. 
My son, seeing that thou art persuaded, that these Cardinals are not the right worshippers of Christ, for that they make such unlawful account of the Idols of the Gentiles, I am the more beholding unto thee, & God grant thou mayest never be otherwise persuaded than thou art at this time. I have declared unto thee the manifest and express Idolatry of these Roman Cardinals, for this one only cause, that thou knowing what they are, mayst the more earnestly stick to the saith wherein thou art now, and strive with thy Ghostly and bodily enemy with all might and main (as the Proverb is) that the Papists may not have power over thee, nor ability, by their crafty juggling and feigned Legends of Saints to deceive thee. Mark the manners of the Cardinals of Rome, and thou shalt see them void of any virtue, or godliness, mark their proneness and readiness to idolatry, mark that Paganism took such deep root in their forefathers, that they themselves are infected with the spot of idolatry, and worshipping of self Gods. To dissuade them from this horrible crime, no man dare, without danger of his life If a man should come to Rome, and make a Sermon before the pope and the Cardinals, willing them to forsake their Gods, to break them in pieces, and to cast them into the rider Tiber, they would all with one consent & open mouth exclaim against him, they would lay hands upon him, as judas and Caiphas laid hands upon Christ: they would shut him up i●●prison, and accuse him for an Heretic. Therefore very few or none dare utter such words, for fear of their great displeasure, undeserved indignation, and sore revengement. If any of these Cardinals have any moral virtue, be it never ●o little the Papists will extol him to the kies, and commend him beyond all ●easure: but if they he all nought, they ●hall not want but one or other will ●raise and magnify their names.  Trisander. 
I understand by the proesse of your talk, that riches, and not virtue, dignity, and not Pastorlike granitie make them to be beloved, to be draysed, to be defended, and to be reverenced. If they were as poor, and as humble as Christ & his Apostles were, ●o doubt there would not be so many flatterers, and so many idle shavelings, to commend these cardinals living in wantonness, licentiousness, and carnal security.  Tiptelichia. 
Thou sayest true (my son) if is honour and dignity, it is pomp and pride, it is cruelty and tyranny that unholde the Church of Rome. poverty and humility, submission and loyalty, carefulness and Pastorlie watching preserve not the state of Babylon, of that whorish and idolatrous Church of Rome. But to let these words pass, I will tell thee (my son) how the Cardinals live at Rome. First it is said, that in their Gardens divers times are seen fair and comely Gentlewomen, whom they call either nieces, Cousins, or sisters: but what they be let the Romans judge, that know better of their order, in that kind of dealing. They say plainly, that they are chamberlains to the Cardinals (I will not say their bedfellows, for I know not that.) These Cardinals ride gallantly in their coaches, almost every day in ye●reetes of Rome, they keep their men lusty and bran in apparel, their Pages are most gallant, amongst all the rest, in their costly attire. There are in Rome, above twenty Cardinals, but yet not one of them preacheth. There are bishops I know not how many, but yet not one exhorteth the people. In common or private assembly, all their talk is of worldly matters, all their doings tend to their own glory, to their farther promotion, and to their greater gain. If ever there were Epicures and Saducees in the world, or are now in these dages, surely they were and are the Cardinals of Rome: For they want no pleasure, they want no treasure, they ●acke no promotion, & they want no reverence done unto them. They have the world at will, soft beds, dainty fare, stout geldings, goodly mules, princely coaches, gorgeous apparel, huge buildings, and what flesh and blood can wish beside: I will not add beautiful women, and imagine more: Fie, I am loath to write Formosos pueros. These forsooth (if you give credit to diffembling Papists) are virtuous priestly Cardinals, devout, religious, sptrituall Potentates, clearkly churchly princes, and holy reverend fathers.  Trisander. 
I see (mother) that the Church is weak, where the pillars are feeble: and the Church must needs be nought, when as the Cardinals are nought, who are the holder's up thereof. But I beseech you (mother) tell me whether they imitate the Apostles in some point or other, or else follow the gentiles in all their proceed.  Tiptelichia. 
They altogether degenerate from the Apostles ways. For the apostles preached, they never preach they study to please God alone, but the study to please many Gods, therefore they follow not the Apostles. They seek to become rich and glorious in the sigh of men, they are busy in seeking for th● Gods of the Gentiles, therefore it appeareth that Paganism is not clean roote● out of their hearts.  Trisander. 
Is it not Cardinal Ferrara that keepeth a great rout of gallant Gentlemen, and maintaineth them to do as they list?  Tiptelichia. 
I think it be the very same person, that hath such Gentleman as you talk of, and if it be, he caused his men to kill one of the Sbirri, wheresoever they took him, though it were in the Church. It chanced, that his men followed this poor Sbirri, even to Saint Peter's Church, & they would have killed him in the Vestiarie, had not the shaven crowns helped him, and delivered him from the danger then imminent.  
Cardinal Como, Cardinal Morono, cardinal Savello, best favourers of the English Seminary at Rome, are very prompt and ready to exhort the English Priests ●o seduce the simple people here in England, and to stir up dissension amongst ●he Gentry. But to warn the pope's scholars to go decently in apparel, to walk circumspectly in their calling, to deal with all men simply and justly, & to live virtuously they never intend it. But what crafty counsel may be given to make hurly burly in this land, they give it. To speak a little of the Bishops I think it not amiss. The Bishop of Versellis, and the Bishop of Pavia, were at great dissension for worldly dignity, as my brother reported unto me, who was with them both, and heard how the one backhited the other, and the one maliciously slandered the other. The one dealt with my brother very liberally, & willed him to certify the Bishop of Pavia, what liberal gifts he had received at his hands: The other knowing of the Bishop of Versellis liberality, gave him more jewels, than other wise he would have done, and willed him to tell the other Bishops, what he had given. But when they gave him so much money, for that the one would seem more vertrous than the other, I cannot tell: bu●● surely, because the one willed him to certify the other how much money he harecentued, I think it hypocrisy. The Bishop of Turym had the name in the town to be very much fleshly minded, but when there he was such a one or no, I canno of certainty tell: how beit thus went th● report of him. Though the Bishop o● Granoble hath vowed chastity, yet he● hath two or three base borne children, and keepeth a well complextioned gentlewoman to serve him at bed & at board. What livers the Bishops are in France, they that have daily traffic in those countries may soon know: and how wickedly most Bishops (I do not say all) lead their lives, they that be travelers can easily show. I will not name all, whom I have known (by the report of many) to have lived very hypocritically & naughtily in germany, where papistry reigneth. The Bishops in many places live not spiritually but secularly, as my brother hath seen with his eyes. Let no man think that I report these things to thee of malice. How the generation Papistical Bishops have lived from me to time, histortes do declare. He ●at was Bishop sometime of Cambray, 〈◊〉 his book de vitis Patrum, & de rebus estis Catholicorum, writeth how that in ●raunce, Germany, Italy, Spain, and Eng●ande also, when the saying was Vivat Papa Romanus, Bishops lived more after the example of Sodomites, Tyrians, & Sydonists, then after the example of true virtuous Christians. There was a Bishop (saith this writer) that was born in Germany & dwelled there: when this Bishop was a boy, he was so dull of conceining any thing the was taught him by his master, that he provoked to himself more stripes than all the rest of the schollexs beside. This lad being weary of suffering more stripes and beatings, made his prayer to our blessed Lady Marie, the mother of our Lord jesus Christ, who being as it were overcome with his often supplication, asked him at the last, what he would have: then answered the boy, the gift of learning. For now through defect thereof I am beaten without compassion. Our blessed Lady powered so much doctrine into his mouth, tha● he was ready to cry, It is good? Ther● she told him, that after the decease o● the Bishop of his Diocese, he should b● created a Bishop, and be his successor This man soon after excelled his master in perfect knowledge of good Literature, and after the disease of the Bishop he became Bishop in his room: but afterwards he lived so sensually, and so voluptuously, that he surpassed the beasts of the field in sensuality and voluptuousness. For he took the Nuns out of their Monastery and made them his bedfellows, he ravished his neighbour's maidens, and defiled his neighbours beds, insomuch that upon a time there came a voice unto him, and said, Thou hast done enough repent now: but he lightly regarding what the voice had told him, became worse & worse. Another time the voice came, and told him again, Thou hast done enough now repent: but the next night, he took two Nuns out of a Nunnery, and stepped with them both. Then the spirit of illusion came, as they were a bed, in the form of a man, and willed ●e bishop tomake room: who asked him owe he entered into the chamber, the o'er being locked? The spirit answered, ●at he opened the door by his cunning. Then he asked him again, how he durst ●ée so bold: but the spirit making no unswere too this demand, bade the Bishop make room, without ask any ●nore questions. Then the Bishop asked whence he was, he answered, from Hell: ●hen said the Bishop, what is it the thou wouldst have: then said the Hellish spirit, come thy way, thou hast lived too ●ong in pleasures and delights. These words being said, he took the Bishop and lifted him up in the air, and letting him fall, bruised and mangled so piteously; that it was horrible to be beholded. As ●oone as the day light appeared, the Bishop's servants being up saw their master ●ying dead on the ground, very deformed & dissigured by the furious spirits of Hel. He writeth another history in his book of a certain Bishop, who had a temporal princely dignity, beside his reverend spiritual function. As this Bishop was on a day, riding abroad, there beheld him a far of a poor husband man, whom when the Bishop saw, he called vnt● him, and asked why he beheld him 〈◊〉 greedily? Marry (quoth the poor man) was strange in my sight, to see you princely attire, and your courtly rou● of valiant champions, and noble Gentlewomen. Dost thou not know that am both a Secular Prince, and a Spiritual Bishop? Then answered the country man, I know not so much, but surely I think it is hard for a man to seru● God and the world, to be chaste and 〈◊〉 maintain waiting gentlewomen. The● said the Bishop, thou sayest truth, tha● being a Bishop, I must live as a bishop but whereas thou seest I am a tempora● prince beside, I may flaunt in my bravery here in this world, and do God goo● service: I may keep as many men an● women as I list. What followeth i● the History, thou mayst read my son at thy leisure. Thou mayest see (m● son) many such pretty histories in tha● Bishop of Cambrays book full of delectation. I will tell thee my son of on● Bishop that got a child by his own ●aughter, he dwelled in Bavaria, and had ●is daughter to keep his house, whom he ●iked so well, that he tried the mastery with her whether he were able to get a child by her or no. But it so fell out, as it was reported at Inglestade that his ●aughter was gotten with child by her father. The Cardinal of Trent that ●ately deceased gave himself so much to drinking, that he became a famous Clerk in that science, especially in the assembly of swyll pots. Many such ●elly Gods, horned Prelates, and oiled Priestly Bishops could I recite, but these few already recited may content thy mind, until thou hast seen with thine eyes what many of them be in deed.  Trisander. 
The Papists blame the lives of our bishops very much: but surely compare their lives together, you shall see, that they differ much the one from the other.  Tiptelichia. 
Thou sayest truth, for albeit there be one or other that liveth not so uprightly as he ought, yet where as one or other liveth otherwise then well, yet have you the most part live very well, and are good Preachers. This to be true all men know. To wade any farther in talk with thee at this present time, I may not, nor will: I may not, in respect of my business: nor will, for that I know the lives of these few Cardinals & Bishops, recited according to verity, may serve thee for a sufficient warning how to take heed of papistry, being the religion of Devils, and not of faithful Christians. Adieu my son, God bless thee, and make thee his servant, to do his will as he commandeth, to thy Parent's joy, and thine own comfort and consolation in Christ jesus. Cleave to the truth, be mindful of thy calling be warned in time to fly from iniquities once again, farewell my son, and forget not my words.  Trisander. 
As you have counseled me to do, so will I do God willing: Adieu good mother, god have you in his keeping.  Tiptelichia. 
Hold here, I give thee four score pounds, spend not too liberally, lest that thou want, and then find● none that will secure thee. be wise, circumspect, humble, provident, sober, patiented, and careful.  Trisander. 
I will: once again adieu, god preserve you evermore, & grant that I may return happily unto you again.  Tiptelichia. 
Amen, God grant that thy returning home may be as joyful to me, as thy departure from home is troublesome and grievous.  
THus are these two former Dialogues finished and ended: I must make haste to the third. And (courteous Reader) if thou be not already tired, in reading the few leaves going before, proceed a little further, and thou shalt see very pretty stuff, and worthy to be noted.  
The end of the second Dialogue.   

The third Dialogue, Wherein the lives of certain Monks, Friars, my Lady Nuns, and sister Nuns are discovered.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Diawinckian● the wandering Papist. Trisander. 
NOW I have for saken the presence of my father and mother, and bidden adieu to my loving country. Now will I frequent and use the company of strangers, and travel into sundry foreign soils: now have I hazarded my life to a thousand dangers, to danger of drowning, to hazzarde of robbing, to peril of murdering, I fear the raging waters, I dread the covetous robbers, and I mistrust the cruel murderers. Good God, what shall I do? I am compassed round about, and environed on every side, how shall I scape the imminent perils in every way? There lurketh a thief in most woods through France, there are noterious murderers, I want company, I know not the language. Good Lord, what shall I do? would God I were in England again, I would I were with my father and mother, who loved me so dearly, that no Parents more entirely could love their children. But seeing I am thus far out of my country, and am at Rhone, not far from the famous City Paris, I will go forwards in my journey, be the way never so dangerous. Si Deus sit mecum, quis contra me? If God be with me, who can do me any wrong? I see a man coming behind me a far of, I will ask him whether he determineth to travel. But I think by his apparel, that he is no scholar, wherefore I will first expect & look for some words from his mouth, and if he begin to speak French, I will answer him in Latin, and by that means I shall prove if he be a scholar or no.  Diawinckiani. 
Dieu vous gard monfieur, ou voulez vous chevaucher?  Trisander. 
Amice mi, externus sums, & sermonem tuum non percipio: I am a stranger, & understand not your words, Sed pace tua diverim (ni fallor) tua in Auglia familiaritate quondam usus sum, tempore Mariano. But with your good leave I speak it, unless I am deceived, in Queen Mary's time we were well acquainted in England.  Diawinckiani. 
je suis bien ioy●ux vostre trowe company: si il vous, playst, nous irons ensemble, d' ou estes vous? I am glad to have your company, if it may please you, we will go together, whence are you?  Trisander. 
I understand you are no Latinist, but seeing that you speak French, I will answer you in English, if you be he whom I mean, you can speak the English tongue.  Diawinckiani. 
I understand and can speak your language, & I am glad you have not forgotten me, in deed in Queen Mary's time I have lived in England, ●nd fared very well, with powdered beef, ●nd fat mutton, good wine, and strong beer, in faring so daintily, and living so méerily, in fléeping so softly, & carousing so stoutly, I served Thomas Becket, and my Lady Anne of Cleve, I looked to their rotten bones, and swept the dust from their images, I did them good service, and therefore by their intercession I deserved to redeem many souls out of the boiling Cauldron of Purgatory.  Trisander. 
I rejoice, and am glad that it was my good luck to find you in this foreign country. In deed I remember your state very well, your life then surely was pleasant, you were cook in the monastery of Glastenburie, about fifty years ago, you were then young and lusty, & could have brought to your Abbot's Chamber a pretty young damosel to keep him waking, and to comfort his weary members feebled with overmuch studies.  Diawinckiani. 
Your words are true, I was such a one as you speak of, than my diligence was acceptable to many an Abbot and prior, to many a Monk and Friar, I have gotten wealth by them, obtained much pleasure, enjoyed great estimation, by coupeling Male and Female together: at the last they saw me so fortunate in bringing to pass those things which they had wished, that they promoted me to be the Clerk of the Monastery Chapel. I had the precious reliks of Thomas Becket, & my Lady Anne of Cleve in my custody, I had their images likewise in my keeping.  Trisander. 
I know my friend what you were in times past, therefore superfluous it shallbe to make many words of that matter: but I pray you tell me, whither are you bounding, what is your state and condition? where dwell you? and how long have you stayed in this Country?  Diawinckiani. 
For old acquaintance sake, courtesy moveth me to give a direct & resolute answer to every particular demand of yours. I intend to travel to Italy, my state is not so happy as it hath been, for now I am poor, than I was rich, now and then I have money plenty, but then I had store always. Haec est vicissitudo rerum. This is the course of the Cards. I have no certain limited dwelling, but sometimes I dwell in this Monastery, sometimes in that, now in this Nunnery, and to morrow in that, now in this Hospital, now in that, now in this Country, in another soon after: now here, now there: now I cannot tell where: Hanc vivo vitam, This life I lead in spite of the Devil. Lastly, I tell you that in France, Germany, Italy, Bohemia, Polonia, Flaunders, Brabant, and Freezeland, I have traveled ever since the Coronation of this Queen▪ Elizabeth.  Trisander. 
Wherefore went you out of the Realm? and why return you not again?  Diawinckiani. 
I went out of the Realm for conscience sake, and because of religion.  Trisander. 
What religion then do you profess?  Diawinckiani. 
Papistry, otherwise (and that rightly) termed the Catholic faith, which I do embrace with all my heart.  Trisander. 
What do I here? Are you still! a Papist▪ Will you never renounce the Pope with all his Traditions and filthy abominations? With all his idolatry and superstitious Ceremonies? I pity your case, alack my friend, hath Satan blinded your eyes with the cloudy mist of ignorance, and hardened your heart as the flint or adamant stone? I lament your state, I bewail your gross error, wherewith you are entangled. Oh my friend, for the love I bear you, and for the old acquaintance that hath béene-betwixte us these many days, I council you, for your own salvation, for your own glory, & life everlasting, to examine your unstable religion, grounded upon a sandy and fickle foundation, which is easy to be overthrown with the least blast of wind that can be.  Diawinckiani. 
To examine my religion I have no need, it is warranted and grounded upon a rich rock, strong, & available against all storms, winds, and tempests, My religion standeth built upon a good foundation, as the pope, ●s Cardinals, Bishops, and Abbots, do ●ouch and declare in their assemblies ●nd counsels general.  Trisander. 
Surely my friend thou ●iest truth. For I heard tell, that S. ●eters Church is built upon a little ●ocke, very rich, I cannot deny it. For the Pope dwelleth fast byit, and hath ●he most of his treasure in that plot of ●rounde. But your religion should not ●ée contrary to the truth of Christ's heavenly Gospel, though Saint Peter's Church were richer than it is, & though ●he Pope and his Cardinals, with the ●est of his adherentes, to keep their great titles, honours, dignities, and promotions, boldly say that the romish faith is the true religion.  Diawinckiani. 
My friend Trisander, the Pope hath larger revenues than any Prince in Christendom, why therefore is he not Christ's Vicegerent? And the Church of Saint Peter is the costliest Church in the world, in many respects, why therefore is not the Church of S. Peter the holy Catholic Church? the holy ghost, in the form of an ow● hath confirmed this faith before the fa● of a Council, and in the presence of t● Pope himself. Therefore assure yo● self, this is the Catholic faith, whi●● I hold and allow. This is the tr●● religion confirmed by the Pope.  Trisander. 
O my friend, thou a 〈◊〉 foully deceived. For the holy Ghost wont to appear in the form of a Dou● but not in the likeness of an owl. Th● Pope is not able to establish true religion, but he can pervert all truth, for th● he fitteth in the chair of pestilence, an● claimeth to himself supremacy on earth But I purpose not to discuss of religion seeing that I have no sufficient leasu● & opportunity thereunto: but this briefs I tell thee, give over thy lewd opinion and let us both travel together as tw● brethren, and reconciled Christians. Fo● sometimes I was of thy religion, albeit not in all points.  Diawinckiani. 
Let words of religion pass by, and let us talk of our long and tedious voyage, which we have to take.  Trisander. 
I am content, let us do you have said. How many miles have ●ée now to Paris?  Diawinckiani. 
Three short miles.  Trisan. 
What is it of the clock? ●ay we be at the City before night?  Diawinckiani. 
It is one of the clock, ●●d easily before the going down of the ●unne we may beat Paris.  Trisa. 
Let us ride a pace, where shall ●e find good lodging?  Diawinckiani. 
Do not you care for ●hat, we shall be very well entertamed ●●y the Prior of Saint Dominicks Mona●erie, and our good fare shall cost us nothing.  Trisander. 
But can my Lord Pri●r speak English?  Diawinckiani. 
Not a word, but he speaketh Latin, no man better than ●ée.  Trisander. 
I am glad that he speaketh Latin so well, but is he so virtuous that he will so friendly receive into his Monastery such travelers as I am?  Diawinckiani. 
He is very virtuous. But this I forewarn you of, that if you see him with others of his Cloister walking after supper to the fields, and many of the Parisian Clergy sporting in the fair meadows, speak not a word, if (after their wonted manner) man with man work filthiness, as Saint Paul writeth in the first Chapter to the Romans, That some men leave the natural use of the women, and burn in their lusts one with another. This thing hath been done this long time, and this wickedness is as yet practised amongst them secretly.  Trisander. 
In the book of the Bishop of Cambray I have read of this abomination, used most commonly amongst the Parisian Clergy: and whether in those places as yet they use the like filthiness, I cannot tell: but surely I am persuaded, that at home in their houses they are not ashamed to defile themselves one with another. For I resorting to some of their houses as a stranger, might easily gather by their unseemly playing one with another, that their life is Sodomitical: and by their carnal and venereal talk, a man may rightly he persuaded, that they live as the Sodomites and Gomorreans did.  Diawinckiani. 
They had rather live like Sodomites, then be married, as the ministers of the reform churches are, for the avoiding of all occasions of these carnal and fleshly pranks. I will bring thee my friend to many Monasteries in the Popish Countries, where it is the Monks and friars custom to practise the vices specified by S. Paul, in the first Chapter to the Romans. At Shalome in Burgundy three Monks were taken in doing this deed, and were banished the City. A Germane Priest, and a French Priest of the Cathedral Church there, in the said City, will not be ashamed to offer this villainy to strangers that come to their houses. This vice, and iniquity aboundeth in most places amongst the Monks, Friars, and Priests. At Troy, albeit by the Magistrates they are sore punished, for associating themselves to the company of lewd women, yet for all that, there is no woman but she shall be welcome to their bed and board. I traveled the most towns in France, in Anno, Dom. 1578. And I could come to no Monastery, but that I found one or other in that Cloister having in his chamber a fair waiting Gentlewoman. On a certain time it fortuned, as I came to a Cloister in the Dolphin of France, to seek some relief of the Prior of that Monastery, I met the Subprior, and he demanding from whence I came, and whither I would wander, caused me to come to his chamber, and there was in his bed a woman groaning, as though she had been with child. I was so bold to ask the Subprior what she was, and he answered, his sister. I being a stranger and merrily disposed, I know by her countenance, said I, and understand by her groaning, that your sister is with child. Then spoke the Subprior, and are you a Physician, that you understand so much by my sister, that she is conceived? Yea marry do I, quoth I, and I am a Physician. Then smiled the subprior, and said, surely my friend, thou art welcome, and be thou assured of any friendship that I can show thee, thou hast judged right by this woman, she is with child, she is not my sister, but my Concubine, I had rather naturally deal with a woman, than unnaturally and Sodomittically defile my body with a man. Many of my brethren, the benedict's, keep maid servants to look to their chambers, and to be their bedfellows, and by that means they annoyed the offence of pollution, and the other crime Sodomitical: but my friend hold two franckes, go to the buttery, take some meat, and go forwards in thy journey, tell no body those things which thou hast seen and heard. Garamercie with all my heart (quoth I) good master Subprior, I will conceal whatsoever I have heard and seen. At Lions in France, as I came to the Nunnery of Saint Bridgit, craving some relief, I found them very courteous, sober, and quiet, and some of them so still, that the brave youths might do with them as they would? Master Pound (who is now gone to Jerusalem) as he himself reported unto me often, secretly played with two of the Nuns, and in one bed with each one of them said his breviary. One of the Nuns loved this M. Pound a gentle man Priest so well, that in all his journey to Rome, and the world throughout, she would be his clerk, and forsake her sisters.  Trisander. 
Truly good companion, these Monks and Friars are manifest hypocrites, and woe and sorrow shall be their reward. They pretend chastity, and live (as thou sayest) Sodomitically: they suffer themselves over easily to be snarled by the allurements of the flesh, and yet they will he counted holy Fathers, good livers, and the adopted children of Christ. But unless they reform their vicious manners, and corrupt life, I cannot see how these men may rightly be named the servants of the most highest, and the lawful inheritors of the incorruptible crown of eternal happiness. How do they think to excuse themselves in the sight of Christ our Saviour, that dissemble thus with the world? Do they persuate themselves that they are virgins, and shall obtain the glorious and uncorrupted reward of virginity, because the world doth judge them chaste virgins: Let the people imagine of themselves as they will, hyporrisie may not, nor shall escape unpunished at the dreadful day of judgement. Do they think, that because they intrude themselves into Monasteries & Nunneries, they are able to keep their virginity undefiled, & able to perform the vow of chastity? nay surely, daily experience teacheth, & the eyesight testifieth, that Monks and Friars, are no otherwise able to refrain the lusts of the fleshes, than men living in the world. These hypocrites say that they live out of the world, only for that they are enstraunged and feigned from the common assembly of the secular people: and that their conversation savoureth not of the would. These are their words, but their deeds are contrary: they say they forsake the world, but yet they will not despise the things that are in the world, as high titles, good estimation, great credit; large possessions, ample revenues, full purses of gold and silver, fair buildings, goodly orchards, and delight some gardens. They say they are not of the world, but yet the pomp, pride, and glory of the world, the vanity, wealth, felicity, bravery, and jollity of this earth, and of earthly things, with dalliance, pastime, eating, drinking excessively, and all other sensual delights and desires, serving to carnal appetite, they highly eshéeme and magnify. And albeit they sequester themselves from the common company of the secular people, yet their life is not a whit more holy than theirs: yea, to say the truth, their condition is far worse than theirs. They have vowed chastity, but who more unchaste than they? They have named themselves virgins; but who more defiled, and more incontinent than they? How perjuriously they have violated their rash● and unadvised vow of continency, histories make mention. The artificial and secret places to keep their concubines in many places of England, do plainly notify to us all, that they were incontinent violatours of their professed vow, and abusers of the people, in causing them to believe, that they were the ●hast and undefiled members of the holy Ghost. Nigellus wireker saith, in speculo stultorum.  
Quid de sempinghan, quantum vel qualia suman,  
Nescio, nam nova res, me dubitare facit.  
Hoc tamen ad presence, nulla ratione remittan,  
Nam necesse nimis fratribus esse reor,  
Quod numquam nisiclan, nullaquesciente sororum,  
Cum quocunquesuo fratre manner licet.  
Thus are these verses englished of Sempingham.  
What should I much prate,  
An order it is, begun but of late:  
Yet will I not let, the matter so pass,  
The siely brethren and sisters alas.  
Can have no meetings but late in the dark,  
And this ye know well is an heavy work.  
The same Nigellus writeth moreover, these verses following.  
Canonici missam tantum, reliqunque sorores,  
Explent officii debita iura sui,  
Corpora non voces murus distinguit in unum,  
Psallunt, directo psalmatis absquemero.  
Thus are they to be englished.  
The Monks sing the Mass, the Nuns sing the other,  
Thus doth the sister take part with the brother:  
Bodies not voices, a wall doth dissever.  
Without devotion they sing both together.  
Nigellus the foresaid Poet, doth largely touch the corrupt living and hypocrisy of his time, chief in bishops, priests, Abbots, Monks, Canons, and Nuns. His book is all in old Latin verses, and is named the Glass of Fools, that every dissolute Prelate might behold his folly therein. Of the Monks and Friars he giveth this judgement among other.  
Qui duee Bernardo gradiuntur vel Benedicto,  
Aut Augustint subleviori ingo,  
Omnes sunt fures, quocumque charactere sancto,  
Signati veniant, magnificentque deum.  
Necredas' verbis, ne credas vestibus albis,  
Vix etenim factis est adhibenda fides.  
Quorum vox lenis, vox jacob creditur esse,  
Caetera sunt Esau, brachia, colla, manus.  
Rursus in Egyptum quam deseruerereversi,  
Dulce sibi reputant à Pharaone premi,  
Carnis ad illecebras nulloretinente ruentes,  
In foucan mortis carne trahente cadunt.  
They that pretend to follow S. Bernard,  
Bennet or Austen which is not so hard,  
False thieves they are all, seem they never so good  
Nor yet so devout, in their cowl & their hood,  
Believe not their words nor apparel right white,  
For nothing they do, that afore god is right,  
As gentle as jacob in words they appear,  
But all in their works they are Esau clear,  
To Egypt again they are come to dwell,  
Under great Pharaoh fearing no peril,  
They follow the flesh and seek no restraint,  
Which will at the last with hell them acquaint.  
This also he writeth of the Nuns.  
Harun sunt quaedam steriles, quaedam parientes,  
Virgineo tamen nomine cuncta tegunt,  
Quae pastoralis baculi do tatur honore,  
Illa quidem melius, fertiliusque; parit,  
Vix etiam quaevis sterilis reperitur in illis,  
Donec eius aetas talia possenegat.  
Some Nuns are barren, & some bearing beasts,  
Yet all are virgins at principal feasts:  
She that is Abbess, as her doth befall,  
In fruitful bearing is best of them all.  
Scarce one shall ye find among the whole rout,  
which is unfruitful till age cometh about.  
Much more of the Lecherous lives of Monks and Nuns hath this Poet Nigellus written. Geraldus Cambrensis declareth in the 2. part of his work, called the Glass of the Church, Cap. viii. that by the Sea Coast a she fish was found of a wonderful greatness, called a thirl Pool. The people in great number came from all quarters there about, some to behold the monstrous shape of the fish, and some to cut it in pieces & to carry them home to their houses, for some profitable use. Among all other there was a Monk more quick and stéering to perceive all things than any other there: This monk drawing very near to the fish, beheld, viewed, and marked the privy part thereof above all which (the history saith) was as it had been the opening of a great door or gate: he looked thereupon very seriously, & much wondered, neither could he in any wise be satisfied with the sight thereof: at the last without modesty, shame, and all bashfulness, he approached somewhat nigh, that by the stime and fatness thereof, which then lay upon the sand, his footing failed him and he fell flat into the foul hole, so he was swallowed up of that which his lecherous heart most desired. This Adage than was found true, such Saint, such shrine, such beer, such bottle, and such treasure, such trust. Many such vicious & lecherous monks could I recite, but because I am persuaded these few may suffice the Reader, I pass them over, and refer the Reader to the histories of every age, since the beginning of this monkish and solitary life. When Antichrist chief reigned in the consciences of men, and when his doctrine repugnant against GOD his word most flourished in all quarters of Christendom, yet God did raise up some that boldly spoke in public assemblies, and with great boldness wrote against the Pope and his poisoned doctrine. In their books a man may read how wickedly and hypocritically the Papistical votaries lived. But loving companion I pray you tell me how do the other monks, Friars, and Nuns, live in the Countries, which you have traveled, besides the Cities before specified?  Diawinckiani. 
Surely they live very unchastely and loosely, as I have declared of some already. At Granoble in France there was an Augustinian Friar, who in his talk, apparel, and gesture, in the presence of the Citizens appeared very religious, godly, and devout: but this man had no good fortune. For as he Sodomitically meddled with a sworn brother of his own profession, he was taken doing the deed: but this horrible fault being forgiven upon his denial, he was at an other time apprehended and imprisoned, for the under a rock, nigh the foresaid City Granoble he cracked a louse in a whores Codyéece. At Shalome in Savoy there were two Dominicans, that were in outward conversation like Angels of heaven, but yet they loved the woman kind so well, that they studied more in making a Cave in a Rock, not far from the City before mentioned, to entertain two young queans, them they endeavoured to perform their friarly vow of chastity. Their often walking from their Cloisters, to these caves, bewrayed them at last, and made them infamous amongst the Citizens. This thing was done in the year of the Lord, 1578; and the infamy thereof was bruited in the City, at my being there.  Trisander. 
Oh my friend and fellow traveler, hast thou seen the horrible abuses of these monstrous and ugly hypocrites, and wilt thou not condemn their idolatrous doctrine, and superstitious Ceremonies, tending to the perpetual destruction both of body and soul? What do they profess, but a religion invented by man, for his worldly gain and honour, not conformeable to God's word, but agreeable to the Pope's will and commandment? What is their life, but Pharisaical, injurious, lascivious, lecherous, & sodomitical? They talk of heaven, but they walk not to heaven, they brag of chastity, but they keep concubines, or else do much worse: they defile themselves one man which another they speak of justification by good works, but they have no good works, but vice, as buggerry, adultery, fornication, fraud, tyranny, ambition, covetousness, and all uncharitableness: they talk of Christ, but have no experience of him, nor any acquaintance with him: they honour him with their lips, but their heart hungereth not after him: outwardly they profess him, but inwardly they pass not for him: in the hearing of men they utterly forsake the world, but in the sight of men they embrace the world. The Scripture calleth the world, as it is written in the first of john. 2.5. The ambition, the covetousness, the lechery, and all those other things, that Savour of nothing else but the flesh: so that the flesh, the world, & the Devil, are those three furies, that with their firebrands, and serpents, make an intermingling & confusion of all things. The fat bellied Monks and Friars, that say they forsake the world, carry it with them into the monasteries. For without doubt, it is not possible to see the world better than in the monasteries, where a man shall see nothing else, but affections and passions of the mind, with the which they seek to advance themselves, or to drive one another out of the doors. Oh that men will suffer themselves to be thus mocked and deluded, by these friarly shavelings, that endeavour as much as they may in deceiving the people with counterfeit holiness, to live like Epicures, and to be esteemed as Lordlinges. Oh that men should credit these Pharisaical hypocrites, that more regard the pampering of their bodies, than the salvation of the souls of men, which is the end of our hope and faith, yea, the very end of our life in this life. Oh that men cannot see how they fight against the Gospel, and seek to overthrow faith with superstition, covered with the cloak of true holiness. Oh that men will not perceive how each one of these monstrous marked Friars traveleth to seek out some new toy, therewith to draw the common people unto him, who are full of wandering. Do they not see that they prepare new fashioned hoods, strange and horrible Ceremonies, not seen in the world past, but reserved to oppugn the truth of the Gospel? What Christian is he that seeth not their hypocrisy, that understandeth not their fraudulent superstition, wherewith the foolish people is inneigled? what true believer of the Gospel, thinketh, that to wear the weed of S. Frances, or to go clothed in that colour, is good against the quartan Ague, and other diseases, and (that worse is) that to be buried in that habit, is the very right way to go to heaven? And therefore that cunning man Longolius, leaving the name of a citizen of Rome, (in whose practice he had so long laboured) would be laid in his grave a Fraunciscane rather then a Roman. This self same honour had the Lord Albert of Carpi in his head, Rodulphus Agricola, and other innumerable. But what need so many words? These Friars are come to that point, with that opinion of holiness, that they have rid themselves out of all other men's hands and authority, and have brought all other men under their fee. Who knoweth not, that in old times pastil when learning and good studies were laid a sleep, that all men held them for God Almighty's kinsmen? And esteemed more of their commandments, then of the commandments of God. And they knew not Christ, whom the Gospel doth plainly set forth unto us, which they keep in prison. And sith they only had the handling of the book of peace and liberty, the common people thought that they had taken all things out of that book, and with cursed and abominable lies, they took out here a piece, and there a piece, and with strange & fearful miracles, and feigned dreams of Purgatory, they kept the poor people in so great fear and wonder, that they were constrained to believe their wicked devices and lies. I● we consider their laws, and the weights and beauty burdens, that they have laid upon men's shoulders, we shall truly say, that the jews law is an hundredth times more pleasant & easy than theirs: but let these words pass. Every Christian (I am sure) knoweth, that by the devils Rhetoric, they make the world believe too too many manifest fashoods. and foolish toys of the devils invention, these monkish fathers seek to be judges over them that are godlier than they themselves, and less spotted with any worldly affection: they have the bare name of Saints and nothing else. Oh what a presumptuous boldness is this? to usurp the names of Saints, and under that godly name to deceive the world? under the form of an Angel of light, to work all their deceits? their Coats, hoods, and sundry colours, are devised by the Devil, to deceive the world. For if they were the same that they would be counted, what need should there be of such disguised garments? the which (say they) do signify that which they ought to be. This is a clear case, that while there is a shadow and signification of the thing, there is not the thing itself. If they were so in deed, then what should they need seek to be so in show? outwardly they are one thing, and inwardly another. Of such the gospel maketh mention, which saith, that there shall come wolves to devour us, clad in sheeps skins, because they will not be known. For right well we know, that one sheep eateth not an other. If these Monks used not such strange garments, there should not be so many seduced from the truth. The Devil is crafty, and he knoweth how prone and ready we be to believe every toy & trifle, every counterfeit holiness, and superstitious hypocrisy, he oftentimes transformeth himself in his members, to an Angel of light, he informeth and teacheth his children to frame themselves alter the manner of hypocrites. This ancient adversary of ours maketh his servants learned, & skilful in his art: he maketh them to go bare legged, and bore footed, to put on shirts of hair, that by means of their outward austerity in apparel, and food, the people may proclaim them as saints, and honour them as God's omnipotent, and finally believe (whatsoever they teach) their words to be evangelical. How Monks and Friars have lived from time to time, I need not to write, for that others have sufficiently written thereof.  Diawinckiani. 
Now loving friend Trisander tell me, how do the Monks and Friars live now, in these Countries, which thou hast traveled, I long to hear, I pray thee inform me.  Trisan. 
Before I satisfy your petition, I am so bold as to request you, (for that I think you have read more histories than I have done) to make rehearsal of some notable Monks lives, of their enormities and ill behaviours in their Diabolical & pernicious function.  Diawinckiani. 
I will tell thee of the juggling of hypocritical Friars espied at Orleans, as writeth Sleydane in his ix. book of his Chronicles. In Orleans a City in France, it is not long since the Precedents wife died, a noble and great woman, who ordained by her Testament, that they should carry her to be buried without light, without Masses, and without any manner of pomp: and in deed she was buried so in the monastery of the Friars of Saint Frances. Anon after they began to hear in that place horrible noyces, until one of those Massemumblers turning his back to the people, showed them their round God made of dough. When this was once spread abroad, every man was moved, one said he heard it, one said he understood it, and another said he saw all. The husband hearing this, came thither himself. Then doth the conjuror bind the spirit to answer to his questions, and asked it she were in Paradise, and there was no answer made: he asked if she were in hell, and yet there was no answer: he asked if she came from purgatory, and then the spirit made a great rushing against the wall. Then did the conjuror ask, whether he was such a one, or such a one, naming many and sundry persons that died long ago, and yet there was no answer heard, nor no manner of noise, but when he named the woman the was buried without pomp, than the spirit made two great rushings against the wall, than did the conjuror ask whether she were condemned for this or that cause: and in the end the spirit said, because she was a Lutherave. Then was heard three great rushes against the wall. The husband being a wise and circumspect man, marked every thing, and made as though he had much marveled at the matter, and desired those wolves to Supper: and the day following, caused an hundred Masses to be said, and to light a whole world of candles. The wolves howled, they sent their Gods into Purgatory, wet the grave with unholy water, and perfumed it with Frankincense: and when this was done, carried the Friars into dinner, and in the mean season sent the officers to the place where this deceit was done, where they found certain vaults and there within were three spirits hidden, whom they took & carried away. But how could they do this considering that they are spirits and no bodies?  Trisander. 
That is soon answered. For these were of those spirits that have bodies, of whom Saint Augustine speaketh, and of which sort almost all those that dwell in Monasteries are.  Diawinckiani. 
But were they not spirits in deed?  Trisander. 
Thou art very gross, they were three Friars of those that they call Novices, that is too say, such as know not yet very well the sleights and falsehoods of the Friars. And in deed the Monasteries are even full of deceipres, and the world is very blind in that they espy them not. In Turine also of late, the like matter hath been seen well, the officers having found the bugs that made them a feared, lead them away like three little Devils (as they were) into the place, where the other great Devils were at meat, who when they knew their knavery bewrayed, as men all dumb, they began to look one upon another, and with shame enough were punished afterwards and rewarded according to their demerits.  Diawinckiani. 
Such feats played by the Monks I have known full oft. Wherefore this is no rare thing whereof thou tellest. It was told me that the like thing was done in Polonia, and forasmuch as this is an usual craft amongst them, as histories do write, and as Cities and towns do testify, who have seen these deceits practised amongst them, I mean not to speak hereof any more, but of their juggling in other respects I purpose to say somewhat as shall be profitable for thee to hear, for thy greater instruction, & shall not be hurtful unto me in uttering the same for the observation of true fellowship in brotherly company. Wherefore give attentive ear, and diligently mark what shall be revealed unto thee.  Trisander. 
I will, say on.  Diawinckiani. 
At Versillis, a notorious false Friar desirous to get money, under colour of religion, enticed a rich widow, and carried her away with him to Naples and from thence to other Cities and Towns. At Verona a City in Italy, in the year of our Lord, 1578. There was a false thief, a Friar of the order of the Minorites franciscans, that had put into the heads of the foolish women this opinion, that they must give to the Church the tenth of all things, and even in like manner, the tenth night as they do with their husbands. In a Monastery not far from Palestro, there was a Monk named Padre Francisco, that loved laced mutton so well, the oftentimes he would take the bridles bit in his mouth, & cause his jillian to kick him with her feet, and then he would gallop as though he had been a horse: But surely not as wise as a horse. At Viglevano in Lombardie, 1578. There was a Dominican preacher, that was counted virtuous, learned, and eloquent, yet he loved Nuns with all his heu●te, with this man I have kep'st company, very often, at the commandment of my Lord Bishop of that city Viglevane. This man in the Pulpit was very earnest, he made the place where he stood to shake, he spoke very emphatirally to the cross that stood before him, he spoke mightily, & sweated very much, a man would surely have thought, if he had heard him, that he had been a Saint in living and conversation, for that so stoutly he rebuked vice, and in preaching maintained virtue. But from such hypocritical Saints, libera nos Domine. This Dominican Friar, at evening time, would repair to his brethren of the same profession, and the Prior or Subprior, with some other of the society, always would keep him company to the Nunnery of Saint Brigit, and there this gentleman Friar, with the rest of his company, would shrive the Nuns in the dark. Their kissing and ungodly behaviour, their unchaste words, & unseemly handling each other, were demonstrative tokens of their incontinency. Prate they till their tongue be worn to the stumps, & writ they till their fingers be not able to hold a pen, they shall never make me believe that Friars and Nuns be chaste virgins, when they commit such unchaste dealings secretly, let the Friars (if they willbe chaste) bridle their lascivious affections, let the nuns in like wise, forsake the suspicious company of dissolute Friars, let them fast & pray, or if they have not the gift of continency, let them marry according to the counsel and advise of S. Paul, who advertiseth the incontinent to live in holy wedlock, and thereby to avoid fornication, it is hard for them to beguile now the world as they have in times past, the people have already smelled out their dissolute & lascivious living. Now it is time for them to repent and amend their sinful lives it is time for to renounce their hypocrisy. For surely it is impossible for them to bring the people in this belief the their life is chaste, seeing by daily experience they are taught, otherwise, that they live unhonestly and unchastely, so that unless they recant in time, before it be too late, woe & destruction shallbe their end.  
These Friars and Nuns observe the saying of Bennet, who taught his disciples if they could not live chastened, then to work closely. These Monks abroad in the sight of the world look as though they cared for no women, but in the dark, with jilian and jone, they love good jumbling, they dread not God that sitteth above, For all is but play, and as they do say, the night must vade away. This Dominican preacher I am sure, with the rest of his company, in the face of the world appeared as saints: the words they spoke savoured of holiness, in gesture, in countenance, & in outward appearance, they were as Angels, holy, & holy, & double holy, and more than holy: they blinded the people with their counterfeit show of holiness, and made themselves to be honoured amongst the silly people as god almighty's kinsmen. This Dominican preacher, with the Bishop's secretary, in my presence full off would use Sodomitical words. It is not possible almost to speak of that honestly, which both preacher & secretary so unhonesty spoke and did. I was ashamed to hear their beastly talk, but they were shameless to utter such ribaldry. The like in England I never heard, & God grant I may never hear the like. In another Augustinian monastery of that city, I was well acquainted, and beloved also of many, so that in going with them to the Nunneries, I saw many horrible practices, and detestable abuses amongst them, which shamefastness doth forbid me to receipt. An Augustian confessor, having heard the confession of a Fleming, enjoined him in his penance, that he should visit Madonna diloreto, and offer his gift at her alter, & crave her intercession to her son jesus Christ: In the mean while, this incontinent and unchaste Friar slept with his wife, and being taken naked in bed by the officers of the City: they let him go to his monastery without any trouble or punishment, for that he was a grave father & eloquent preacher. At Auspurgh in Germany, there was a monk that craved leave of his superiors, to visit the holy sepulchre at Jerusalem, and at Venice. As I was lodged with him at Rialto, at the sign of the George, I fell in acquaintance with him, and he made me privy of his counsel very often: he would have enticed me, (had I not avoided his enticements by lawful excuses unknown unto him) to the Bordello, to the place where lewd women dwelled, a street full of naughty packs, amongst whom he was always conversant, and adjoining to the street where our lodging was. I asked this M●nke on a time with what devotion he took his Pilgrimage to Jerusalem, haunting (as he did) the Brothel houses? he answered, that what sins he had committed in his life time, & in his pilgrimage, should soon after his arrival to Jerusalem be forgiven and forgotten. At Bolognia I met with a Friar and an Nun, that took their Pilgrimage to Madonna diloreto: this Friar called this Nun his wife in the viteling houses where he came: for he travailed like a Gentleman, and she like a Gentlewoman. For they had put off their friarly and Nunnish weed. I went with them even to that idol of Madonna, kept them company, & saw how in our journey one bed served them twain. This Friar very craftily covered his head with a great coif, that his shaven crown might not be seen. How when we came to Madonna diloreto, (a little before they changed their garments) they went in their professed weeds, and were as devout in any man's judgement, as saint Frances and saint Clare. How they returned home I can not tell, for I bore them company no longer. At Seravallis I met a Neapolitan, whom accompanied with a brave Italian whom she called brother: these two slept in one chamber, & what they did, I cannot tell, but surely I saw right well in the fields that under a hedge they played as man and wife. I was a mere stranger, and therefore they had the less fear to do what they would. I kept them company four days, & all that while both brother and sister did as man and wife would have done in secret. It is no news to hear how that Monks and Friars in their Pilgrimage, resort to the Brothel houses: for it is a common thing amongst them. At Pavia in Italy, there was a Benedictine, that asked leave of his superiors to visit Madonna di loreto, & a Nun likewise craved licence of her Prioress, to visit the said idol of Loreto. This Nun and Friar met together at Venice and there renewed died friendship, in kissing & lulling and in playing the part of man and wife: they forgot that they had vowed chastity, they would no longer be continent he at a foil, and she at defence made themselves ready and apt, they went forwards in their peregrination, with kissing, embracing, & playing each one with the other unchastely. A friar out of Cicilia came in devotion to Madonna di loreto likewise, with a stolen Nun from his country, as I came from Madonna di loreto in urbin a city in Italy, I met this lusty friar with Itlian his loving saint, whom he would needs have in his bed to pray unto: his shaven crown was covered with a coif, that he might be taken for a temporal man, for so he would seem to be, although he was not. In rome 1580 an Augustinian Friar was imprisonned, for that he had slain a man. This friar (by report) was a preacher, and of unchaste living, he had slain either two or three, & yet was never executed, the fact being wilful: belike he had some good friends, otherwise he had suffered as malefactor & Homicide. Travel (my friend) all I talie, Polonia, Bohemia, part of Germinie, and throughout all these countries thou shalt hear people complain of their Buggery, (for the which no less than twelve Monks at once were hanged at Rome) of fornication, adultery, incest, bloodshed, and the very. If they covet to satisfy their carnal appetite, if they covet to steal, if they desire to far delicately, if they intend to range the country from place to place, them must they fayne to their Abbots, or priors, the they have vowed to visit either Madonna di loreto, or the sepulchre of the Lord at Jerusalem, or the place where saint Francis body hangeth in the air, not touching the earth, but miraculously hanging between the firmament and the earth, wearing a golden ring on his singer, which a Pope of Rome in commandment gave him to put on. And in that place (say the Pilgrim Papists) remaineth his body uncorrupted, being there five hundredth years at least. Or else the Friars and Monks go on Pilgrimage to the tomb of S. Andrew the Apostle, out of which floweth clear oil, profitable to heal many diseases. The Nuns obtain leave to the like places, and on the way they meet their Paramours, whom in courtesan (courteous I would say) manner they kiss and lick with stretched out tongue, and white lily lips. They use such dalliance one with the other, as I am loath to declare. Their songs savour of nothing else but ribaldry, and abomination. God grant them repentance, and make them his servants: for surely they do amiss, & violate their oath, break Gods holy commandment, and wonderfully abuse his divine Majesty. They would be counted holy Virgins, and devout fathers, albeit they are painted sepulchres, and vicious hypocrites. At Milan there were two Monks that so hated Cardinal Brhomeo, for that he endeavoured to reform their lose living, that as this Cardinal was at Mass, one of them charged a dag towards him. But as Fortune favoured this Cardinal, the bullet flew under his arm, and was not found between his shirt and his skin, as he that wrote in his book of the discovery of john Nichols falsely reporteth. For at Milan the Cardinal's confessor told me the contrary. Surely it was a weak bullet, weaker than a bullet of paper, that could not pearcethrough his body, having no other thing for defence, but his thin Garments about him. He that shooted towards him, was not far from the place where he said Mass. Therefore it is an untruth, that the bullet was found betwixt his skin and his shirt. I could say much more than I have recited of the ungodly lives of Monks, Friars, and Nuns, & yet not exceed the bands of truth. A priest of their own order, & sometimes bishop of Cambray, wrote very amply, at large, of the corrupt living of these lazy lubbers, fat bellied Monks. If he being one of their crew discovered so much of their grievous & abominable wickedness, why should not I write what I have seen with mine eyes, practised lewdly amongst them? and why should I notify to thee my fellow companion, the hypocrisy and dissimulation of these unclean and incontinent Monks, Friars, and Nuns.  Trisander. 
Thou hast delighted my hearing very much, in thy discovery of the lives of certain Monks, Friars, and Nuns. That I met such a companion I am very glad, I hope by the grace of God, & the recordation of the wickedness of these votaries, thou art free from all papistical contagion, with superstitious ceremonies, and venomous idolatry. Now let us in one faith, and in one mind serve God daily, & hourly. Let us like true Christian Pilgrims travel to farther countries, that we may see what religion they have, and how they do live. Go swifter, amend your pace, the night approacheth: we are strangers, and if we come too late, we shall be unprovided of our lodging.  Diawinckiani. 
Content, let us go apace: here in this Inn I will take my rest for this night: go you to the other, lest we be suspected for spies. Good night, rise early in the morning.  Trisander. 
I will God willing, go● give you good night also.  
The end of the third Dialogue.   

The fourth Dialogue, Touching the hypocritical lives of Iesn●es and Theatines, who neither inhabit, nor in Ceremonies differ much the one from the other.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Diawinckiani the wandering Papist. Trisander. 
GOod morrow loving companion how were you entertained to night? What lodging have you found?  Diawinckiani. 
My entertainment was good, I pray you tell me how was yours?  Trisander. 
Truly loving companion, worse lodging I never found in all my life: my Hostess did frown, and mine Host did chafe, because I would not pay willingly three julies' for one. My bed was very hard, and my sheeets were somewhat scabbed: yet durst I not speak boldly, and say, that I was sore misused. But I healed my peace, and when I saw them angry, I did what I could to content their minds by paying them more than was their due. Therefore I say farewell that Inn, I will never lodge there any more. Now let us be going forwards in our journey the we may the sooner shorten both the time, & the way: and pass through it with the less tediousness, let us talk of somewhat worth the marking. And for as much as thou art the better learned, and most able to discover the wicked lives of idolatrous Papists, both by reading of divers notable histories, as also by the experience that thou hast had amongst them, I crave of thee to tell me how the jesuits live, and what their profession is? For surely they are of great fame, and many think they are as holy as the Scribes & pharisees, who were the greatest hypocrites amongst the jews.  Diawinckiani. 
To tell thee the original of these jesuits, I think it be but lost labour: forasmuch as Master Hanmer hath so displayed their original and success, their vow and oath, their hyyocrisie and superstition, with their doctrine & positions, that to speak more thereof, (except of that which I have seen and heard) I think it but vanity. Thou askest me how they live? I answer (as conference, familiarity, & acquaintance taught me) they live spotted with hypocrisy, they pretend holiness, but work wickedness. For they have feigned a new profession, a new and strange title, never heard of before. They were ashamed to be named Christians, and for this cause they called themselves jesuits, that is of jesus. And why? because they vamely persuade themselves, the perfect & absolute holiness consists in their society only. Otherwise these sowgelders (jesuits I would say) should be afraid to take upon them such a glorious name, as passeth all names, for this name jesus, and this title Christ, by the commandment of the Father, was given as proper & peculiar unto the son of God, borne in the world: and therefore no name for them. If this name were lawful for them to take by the word of God, as it is not, why should not in like manner, this name be proper to all by the same word of God? the Monks and Friars cry out in private talk, & in public preaching against their presumptuous loftiness of mind, in taking unto themselves such a name as excelleth all names. Why say the Monks, and Friars, do the jesuits arrogantly presume to say, that they are only of the society of jesus, and none other? What (say these religious men) is their life holier than ours? Do they fast oftener than we? pray oftener than we? or lead a more austere life than we? seeing that we know they do not live more austerly than we, this prerogative to be of the society of jesus, above us that are their coequals in living, and doctrine, they cannot justly challenge, as proper and peculiar unto them. But we would gladly know why they term themselves jesuits? jesus signifieth a saviour, and belike they term themselves jesuits, because they are compartuers with jesus in salving. O proud and arrogant lucifer-like monsters. O wretched creatures. Would no other name serve your turn Gentlemen hypocrites, but jesuita, the name of a jesuite? if Lucifer himself, your father and Progenitor, had taken upon him the shape of a man, he would never have chosen a more proud & arrogant title. What moved you (you blind creatures) to forget your own state, and miserable condition? What did you think by this title to be magnified here in this world? What did cause you to take this name jesuita upon you, and refuse to be called Ignatians Layola? what are you ashamed of your poor Patron Ignatius Layola, who although he were a crippled soldier, oppreffed with extreme poverty, and well nigh spent or worn with sores and infirmities of body, who although he were a wanderer, or (as you term poor travelers) a rogue yet take no scorn to use his name, seeing the you allow as favourers, follow as disciples, & practise as pupils, his superstitious & idolatrous inventions? The Monks and Friars blush not to be named according to the name of their patrons, the Monks of Dominicke, are called Dominicans: the Monks of Benedict, Benedictines: the followers of james, jacobines: of Basil, Basilians: of Augustine, Augustinians: and of Bernard, Bernardines. And why then will not you likewise be called by the name of the lame soldier Ignatius Layola? But surely I think he was so infamous, so wicked, and superstitious, that they are afraid to be called Ignatians, lest their good name be called in question. But yet, albeit he was (as far as I surmise, by his foolish vows, rogishe peregrinations, & lewd practices in many countries) impudently disposed & naughtily bend to pervert good manners, to establish gross errors in the Synagogue of Satan, and besides that, busily occupied in preferring many superstitious ceremonies: yet they should not disdain after his name to be termed Ignatians or Layolans, because they acknowledge and follow him as their Patron in doing according to his doctrine, council, and precepts. For as they obey his will, so should they acknowledge his name, and think no scorn, to be called thereby as for the name jesus, it is not for their mowing, neither ought they to desire the honour due to so great a title and name of jesus: contrary to the godly meaning of all true Christians. Surely (loving companion Trisander) there is such enmity between the Monks and the jesuits, (I speak not this of malice, but of experience) that greater is hardly to be found between the Turk and the Christian. The Monks never report well of the jesuits, and the jesuits never speak well of the monks. From cardinal Brhomeo, there came jesuits oftentimes to my Lord Bishop's house of Viglevano, now there were two Dominicans in his house, that always denied to keep them company, for this cause only said they, for that they were Hypocrites. I waited at their table, and marked their behautour, they would drink but once at one meal, they would use such Ceremonies about the Cups with crossing, double crossing, and mumbling I cannot tell what, that it would make a man to wonder. But at the first time I was so weary in holding the cup, and not knowing the meaning of their Ceremonies in blessing the cup, that I took it from them, and left them thirsty and dry, until I was taught yea with rebukes of my ill manners, in taking the cup before they had drunk) to stay with the cup until they had quenched their thirst, The jesuits must have patience if any thing once be denied to them, they must not seek it twice, they eat but very little at a meal, they are nourished (say they) by daily contemplation, and the Angel feedeth them assoon as they dine or sup, after thanksgiving to GOD, and our blessed Lady, as the manner of the Papists is, and after washing of their hands, they go to the Temple, & there they kneel before a dusty image: there is such crying and knocking on their breasts, that oftentimes I was afraid their hearts should have leapt out of their Bodies. There was such howling, and such weeping, that tears as big as millstones came out of their eyes. Blessed Marie (quoth pardon me, for I have offended thee, not only in thought but word, and deed. Oh help me holy saint with speed, thy sweet son jesus Christ also, I have offended alas for woe, but through thy intercession, he will forgive my transgression, and as I hope will favour me, and pardon mine iniquities. Then he knocketh his breast, and boweth his body to kiss the ground. Blessed Lady quoth the other, pray so, me to the Lord jesus thy loving son. For I am a sinner, and therefore I say ora pro me peccatore, O beata Maria, matter unigenti: O blessed Marie, the mother of the only begotten, pray for me a sinner. This, and such like prayers do the jesuits use before the Image of Marie the mother of Christ; they go from image to image, from stock to stone, from post to pillar, and pass by no image but they touch it with their beads, and kiss it with their mouths. If they find a rotten post, they think immediately that some saint was bound to the same to be scourged. If there appear upon the pillars the picture of a mouse, forthwith they would imagine it to be the picture of a Saint, and therefore they will kneel before those pillars, & adore them, with kissing them, and bowing their bodies before them. Doubtless the jesuits are very superstitious, & from them (as from a founraine) floweth all kind of Idolatry and superstition. Let the Monks and Friars bear witness of this, let Balaams' marks bear record of my words. There is such brawling & chiding oftentimes amongst the jesuits, and the Monks, in Cardinal Browmeo his house at Milan, that greater can not lightly be amongst two scolds: first there is a question moved, then in the answer to the same there followeth great contention: one dispraising each others insufficiency & defect of knowledge, sometimes each one seeketh to excel the other, with vain brags of their life and conversation. The jesuits, more boldly then wisely, say that their life is Angelical, and spotted with no spot of iniquity. The thing which we promise (say they) we perform, we vow chastity, and we keep it: we never have access unto women, we never have conference with them, we never come in their sight, and if they come to talk with us, we avoid their company, by which means all occasion of carnal copulation is clean cut off, and so is our vow kept, and never violated. These words of the jesuits are but brags, the truth insinuateth the contrary. For at Venice, Ann. do. 1580. a jesuite was found in bed with a Courtesan, or (as in English I may term her) with a common strumpet: what he did in bed with her I can not tell, for that certain venetians at my lodging, at the sign of Saint George at realto told me that a jesuite and a courtesan were found in bed together, they told me not that they were both taken in doing the deed, but found in bed, as I said. Alac good jesuite, I think he came to bed to his sister, to give her some ghostly comfort and to hear her confession being in ashaking ague. I dare say the young gentleman jesuite meant no hurt in the world, unless perhaps we think it hurt, that he ventured to be in one bed with her, without consent of his rector: or else that he endeavoured to get a pretty boy by one that was a lay woman, and a strumpet, and not by some nun being a spiritual sister, but yet a common woman, and common aswell to Monks, as to jesuits. At Milan, as it was reported unto me by a Bargamesco Gentleman in the Cathedral Church, there was a lusty stout jesuite that loved to haunt the stews very well. And that the jesuits violate their unlawful vow of chastity, these examples following may testify. At Auspurgh late in the evening there was a jesuite found with his companions, that resorted to a suspicious & defamed house of harlots. When they came into the house, they told the mistress of the house that they brought with them holy water to sprinkle about in every chamber, to the expulsion of devils, that through their absence they might do as they would, & that their offence might not be known unto the Devil, and therefore not like to be punished. But these holy fathers, when they had sprinkled all their conjured water, they were rapt in love with two queans of the house, and because they had no money, they gave their books unto the haudie drabs, that they should accomplish their venereal lust and carnal concupiscence. In the Franciscan monastery, I heard this of truth by three monks. At Florance a city in Italy the like thing happened between two jesuits, who could not for all their meditations and divine contemplations, bridle the lusts of their flesh: these were taken in the stews late in the evening, and being examined what they did there, they answered that they gave good exhortations, to the end that they might be converted from curtezanes unto Nuns.  
Better is a bad excuse than none. Thus they were dismissed, and their intent commended, albeit it was suspicious that the jesuits were nought, seeing that they were found abroad so late, & also with infamous women: but let this matter pass. I know not their intent, whether it was to beget two boys to make them in time to become soul priests to say mass for their souls, or else to beget two wenches, that in time they might become Nuns to serve the greedy need and fleshly desire of them of their society. I tell thee not (good friend Trisander) what is the chiefest cause of the jesuits Pilgrimage to Madonna di loreto, no other cause then to visit this idol and to serve their incontinency, their youthful toys, being not as yet set apart. I have been in their company, and therefore with less fear I may report of them, they would never remain in any other lodging, except in such, where they might find Italian mares ready, and easy to be ridden, that was so sober that every man might handle her as he would, they bowed unto that saint, and made their offerings unto her, they loved a saint with wanton looks and rolling eyes, better (I am sure) than Madonna di loreto. These jesuits while they are in their peregrination, are Venus lulibie babes, and her sweet darlings, they love to play with women, they are so lascivious, luxurious, & vicious, that they regard not how lewdly they behave themselves, so that their habit be changed, and their persons unknown. These examples recited may serve to daunt the pride, and cool the vaunting brags of wicked and licentious jesuits. They have ears more vigilant to hear themselves praised, than a purposed intent to deserve praise. If it be possible that fire might be void of heat, then may the jesuits keep themselves chaste from women. For how much so ever they punish their flesh, yet can that ielousnesse be never expelled. Naturam expellas furca, licet usque recurret. I will not saith Christ, Matth. 19 that all men understand this word, but he which can understand it, let him understand it. therefore the jesuits are worthy of rebuke, that vow chastity, and can not keep it.  Trisander. 
The jesuits are hypocrites, and though they carnally know forty women, yet they say they are blessed and sanctified virgins. They make their belly their god, their lust, their heaven, their pleasure, their bliss: they hunt greedily for such delights, they be drawn with a twine thread to the company of a woman, and cannot be kept from them with a cable rope. For they hover like feathers in the wind, and are blown away like chaff with every blast. They esteem this life for a wonderful pleasure and a great felicity, that pretend chastity, and yet satisfy the lusts of the flesh. Their esteminate minds are more addicted to fleshly pleasure, than the minds of such as have not vowed chastity. They will take no warning to fly from hypocrisy, seeing that the world knoweth thereof. Will they be counted continent and have not renounced their filthy delights, that are so deeply drowned in the dirty ditch of dissoluteness, wherein they neglect the safeguard of their souls, in following of filthy pleasure, the only enemy to virtue, than the which (as Cicero saith in his book De Senectute, nullam Capitaliorem pestem, quam corporis voluptatem a natura datam, etc. There is not a more deadly poison given to man by nature, then sensual pleasure of body. Their importance and greedy desires, whereof, were set and bend outrageously, to bring their purpose to pass: and (as he saith a little after) Cuique homini sive natura, sive quis deus, nihil tam esse inimicum, quam voluptatem. Nec enim libidine dominante temperantiae locum esse omnino; nec in voluptatis regno virtutem posse consistere. That is. And seeing that nature, or God hath given unto man nothing more excellent than wit, and reason there is nothing more enemy to this divine gift, then voluptuous pleasure, which sensual pleasure ruling him, there is utterly no place left to temperance, neither may virtue remain where pleasure reigneth. Whereby it appeareth how like unto a beast it transformeth a man, during the which nothing can be exercised in mind, nothing done by reason or study: for this drowneth a man in the whirelepoole or gulf of all ungodliness. These jesuits, for all their grave and fatherly looks, do fix their unhonest love in fleshly filthiness, and like the beasts of the field lie wallowing in the mire, they take great delight, by their auricular confession, to make a spoil or pray of maids and wives: against these jesuits, unless they repent, the heavenly gates are shut for ever, to exclude them out, for their reward is appointed in darksome hell, there to remain amongst the cursed reprobate. I would they should repent, & be hearty sorry for their hypocritical dealings. The world hath spied their hypocrisy already, & condemneth them of folly, that will not confess their lives, which are nothing inferior to the lives of the Scribes & Pharisees, whom Christ often rebuketh, and accuseth of hypocrisy. Their deeds do bewray them to be so holy as they would be counted, their words do condemn them of plain hypocrisy, when with unmeasurable praise, they laud and magnify themselves. God convert their hearts, and make them penitent: I wish them well to do. God lighten their hearts with the bright beams of his holy spirit, that the misty cloud of ignorance expelled, they may see the truth, and confess it, and according to the rules of Gods holy word, direct their lives in all holiness, to his glory, and the good example of their neighbours, & the benefit of their own souls. But friend Diawinckiani, tell me I pray thee a little more of the jesuitical manner of conversation and living.  Diawinckiani. 
As I gather by the history of Hierosolomitanus the pilgrim, & by the report of the Turks themselves, with whom I have had conference at Venice, especially for such matters, to know what religious votaries they had. It is this in the history of this Pilgrim I have read, and the Turks with whom I spoke, confirmed the same, that there be two sorts of religious votaries, the one is of them that dwell in Cloisters, where Magical Art is taught, who when they have been Novices two or three years, than they are taken to be members of that Cloister, and are bound to pray for the emperors good success in all his affairs. The Emperors of the Turks oftentimes consult with these Monks, touching the state of his Empire, they foretell him what mishap is like to chance in his enterprises, and prognosticate the event of all his proceedings. These Monks never depart out of their cloisters, except upon some great and urgent occasion. This order is not far unlike to the Carthusians order, for they are seldom seen out of their cloisters. another order is of them that go a begging from door to door, with great beads about their arms and cry Allah Mahomet save you good dame and good master, I will pray for the soul of your fathers and mothers and of your Grandsires, allah bless you little children. We see (say they) that these children of yours are like to come to high degree of honour. This pilgrim who lived fourteen years at least as captive amongst these Turks, in his history maketh mention of their begging from house to house: such flattering I think they use, as these jesuits do, when they are commanded to go a begging. These Monks are like the jesuits in superffition, and idolatry, These Turkish Monks never go a begging, but when their rector, or their provost commandeth them. So the jesuits in like manner, when they are commanded by their general or rector to go a begging, they must needs obey, yea, admit he be a preacher, a confessor, a public professor of divinity, or philosophy, or of any other science, if he be commanded to take wallet and bottle, he must needs do it, and may not deny, unless he will incur his superiors displeasure. Father Peter, & father joseph, jesuits of the English Seminary told me, that the vicegenerall, being a gentleman man borne of most noble parentage, was commanded at his first entrance into the society of jesus, to carry a basket to be sold, which basket being not worth vi. d. He was willed notwithstanding to receive no less than a crown, and as for his dinner he should beg it at other men's houses abroad in the city of Rome. This man being commanded to go & sell his basket, did so, and as he sought to sell it, being very old and rotten, all men laughed him to scorn, and when they knew the price, which he demanded for the basket, they derided him the more, and cried, what meanest thou, thou fool, to seek u.s. for thy basket, being not worth v. .d. This thing was done by his superiors to prove his patience and to try how well he would frame himself to their orders, as this Novice, being sometimes a Lord by birth, and rich in possessions, suffered himself to be laughed of all sorts of people, and as he went about the marked places of Rome, and walked in every street, he met by chance with one, that in time past had been his servant: this Novice jesuite knew him not, but this man that had been his servant in time past, knew the said Novice jesuite very well, and saining as though he had not known him, he came unto him, & asked him the price of his basket. This Novice answered u.s. than he that had been his servant, gave him v. s according to his own demand. And when this Novice jesuite had added moreover, that he was commanded to seek his dinner abroad, than this man invited him to dinner. The duke of Milan's son and heir, was enchanted by these jesuits to forsake his father, his mother, and all the friends that he had, yea, & to renounce his inheritance that should have befallen into his hands after the decease of his father. This noble youth, tobecome a jesuite, regarded no worldly wealth, nor princely promotion. But this young Gentleman was abused very much, as you may hear as followeth. They caused him, not only to practise the art of begging, but also to fast, and to whip himself so often, having neither respect to his tender and feeble state of body, by reason of his delicate education on and bringing up: neither yet to his unaccustomed manner, in so chastising him beyond all reason and measure, that he fell into a pitiful consumption, in so much that being worn and consumed to the bare bones, he died. The parents in sundry Cities of Italy cry out against these new sect of jesuits, for they seduce their children to their sect, and with their flattering words, fatre speeches, and large promises of great gifts at Christ's hands, in the heavenly city Jerusalem, they deceive and corrupt the towardely dispositions of many a youth, to virtue and Christian religion, and abuse them unto all ungodliness and heresies. In Rome, Anno domi. 1579. There was a young Gentleman of great reputation amongst the Romans, this man being heir to his father deceased, was beewitched with such an immoderate desire to be a jesuite, that neither his mother nor any friend that he had, could persuade him to the contrary.  
At last he was admitted into the society of jesuits, and being amongst the jesuits, his mother made earnest supplication unto the Pope, that her son being commanded by his holiness letters, directed unto the general, might be be put out of their society, and might return unto her, and peaceably enjoy that which his father had bequeathed him in his last will and Testament. Now as she demanded of the Pope, to have her son released, & set free from the society of jesus, so it came to pass. But yet the jesuits having access unto the youngman, so incensed his mind with the love of their profession, the being kept for a space in a close chamberr under a false and forged pretence of looking for his shirt to be made warm before the fire, he conveyed himself out of the chamber, and came directly to the jesuits College. Of many such could I make rehear all, but the time doth not permit, nor my leisure doth suffer me to say more hereof, then is already said.  Trisander. 
It was told me, that the jesuits take great pains to inform youth in learning & virtue, what say you do they so or not?  Diawinckiani. 
They do inform the youth with such austerity, and in such order, that they are become odious to most Students, as may plainly appear by this example following. In the Roman College, Anno Domini, 1580. there was a jesuite slain by a Student of the College, and because belike the jesuite had offended the Student too too much, the Superiors of that College suffered the Student to departed without any manner accusation. The jesuits in that College oftentimes were hurt by the Students for their proud and haughty mind, in seeking to overrule them. The like happened in many other Colleges of Italy, as it was told me traveling the Country, but for this thing that was done at Rome, I know it myself to be true, being at that present at Rome, & a scholar in the English Seminary, For about this time, German a priest, the Pope's Scholar appointed for the perversion of Germany, threw himself headlong from an high window, and so broke his neck. About this time one of our own Students would have drowned himself in a Well, had not God delivered him from that danger, by some of the Students.  Trisander. 
You went about once loning brother to compare the conversation and doings of the jesuits, with the Monks of the Turks: I pray you proceed in this matter, as you first began.  Diawinckiani. 
I will, then give ear. Trisander. I will be attentive to hear you do so: then go forwards in your talk.  Diawinckiani. 
The Turkish Monks must have their garments very short, of divers colours, with many patches, and in all respects they must go like Fools, that they may be a laughing stock unto the Beholders. So after this manner go the jesuits a begging, for they will follow Christ and his Apostles (say they) their jesuitical weed is very curtal, it reacheth no farther than the knee, it hath divers colours, and many patches, they go from door to door, and cry, Date noi ●lcuna elemozina peramoredi Christo, del quale discipulisiamno: give us some alms for Christ's sake, whose Disciples we be. The Turkish Monks have great heads, upon on the which they pray, they have the Picture of Mahomet, about their necks, they pray in the streets, they go a Pilgrimage to their pretenced God Mahomet, they take no money with them, but a staff to defend them from the sharp teeth of Dogs: thus doth the jesuits, let them deny it, and they shallbe proved Liars. They have great beads about their necks, about their arms, and in their hands, I brought a jesuite a little before night, from the English Seminary unto the Roman College, of whom I demanded upon the way, why he had such great beads, that every bead should be almost as big as my fist: he answered, that in the dark night he had need the his beads should be so big, for the better feeling of every bead in saying over his beads. The jesuits have the picture of S. Ignatius, their Patron, or the picture of our blessed Lady Marie, in the streets, they pray very often, and to Pilgrimage they go very often without any money given by their Superiors unless they have somewhat of their own, as most commonly they have, they use a staff, yea in the City of Rome are some novices not twenty years of age, and the cause is, for that they may be counted as the Apostles of Christ. The turkish Monks shorten their lives with too much austerity of life, so do the jesuits discipline and whip themselves at the Evening of every festival day, that the blood trickleth down from their bodies, as streams of water, that it is lamentable to make report thereof. They scourge themselves voluntarily so extremely, that oftentimes many of them before the due course of nature yield up their Ghost. They fast so often, and give themselves to such contemplations, that sometimes seem of them are ravished of their wits. I speak this with grief of mind. They follow the Turkish Monks in life and conversation, and so they may be rightly Mahometaines, of the society of Mahomet. The Turkish Monks praise themselves above measure, so do the jesuits brag, boast, and extol their names above the Clouds. The jesuits of the English Seminary would always be praising men of their society, and discommending others, especially Dominicans. and Franciscans, who are no better than sworn enemies: for the one cannot speak well o● the other. If any amongst the jesuits hath either disputed egregiously, or declaymed Rhetorically, or done any thing learnedly, they publish his name with great brags and praises, of his excellent and ingenious capacity, and rare gifts of knowledge. If any afflict themselves so severely, that they fall into sicknesses, and danger of death, than they commend his doings every where, and deem him (for that he spared not to scourge his own body) a worthy Saint, and a blessed disciple of Christ. The Turkish Monks, more boldly then prudently, say they are saved, by reason that they lead a Monastical life: so do the jesuits brag that they are sure of life everlasting, because they are secluded from the company of them that dwell in the world, for they will not confess that they live in the world, and therefore must their Colleges be counted heaven, or called by som● other name, or else (I will say as I hau● said) they live in the world. Father Benedictus reader in positive divinity, entreating upon Predestination, said that he knew that he was sure of life eternal in the kingdom of God, because God called him, as he said into the society of jesus: and if I had not been made a jesuite I know (saith he) I had been a reprobate. This man's knowledge was greater than his wisdom, and his words of greater force than his holiness. These Hypocritical jesuits were taught (as I think) by the Turkish Monks, for in their idolatrous practices, and superstitious ceremonies, they differ little or nothing. From such Turkish Monks, and Papistical jesuits good Lord deliver us. These jesuits in words profess humility, but in mind and deed they practise pride, they seek great obeisance to be done unto them, they look for capping and kneeling, and they would be worshipped. If any of the students of any Seminary, where the jesuits bear sway, forget to put off his hat in the street as he passeth by the jesuits, and then will the jesuits remember to get these students a penance. They are sworn to keep no money, yet they have money some of them plenty These jesuits are full of scoffs and mocks, as I myself have proved, the● have vowed chastity, but I do not like the things that were practised in th● dark, between some of the jesuits an● the English Seminary, and some of th● fairest complexion of the English Students, whose names I remember, bu● for modesty sake I conceal them. These jesuits make great show of integriti● of life, and mortification of the flesh, bu● their deeds bewray them, and their va●nities are known to proceed from an hypocritical habit. They more regard th● praises of men, than the kingdom 〈◊〉 heaven, and the glory of the highest.  Trisander. 
I was informed by man Pilgrims, that the jesuits, wheresoever they come, preach upon bulke● stools, and such like things: they stan● prattling unto the auditory of the worth●nesse and excellency of their profession & the evangelical life of the jesuits. 〈◊〉 have heard a jesuite preacher, myself at Piacentia, that was so impudent, as 〈◊〉 say that the jesuits were more acceptable to God, than the Angels of heaven.  Diawinckiani. 
Thou hast been truly informed, for they preach in deed upon bulks, stools, chairs, or any other such thing, yea, they preach in market places, in open streets, and buy corners, We are the disciples of Christ (say they) we have his Angels, to guide us, we have the holy Ghost to move us to preach unto publicans and sinners, to courtesans and ruffians.  Trisander. 
A fair piece of work I promise you, they boast that they are sent from Christ, to instruct publicans sinners, and courtesans: I would they learned first to live godly themselves being publicans, sinners, and harlots, bedfellows, and play mates. I would to God they framed their lives according to the will of God. They deserve more glory at Christ his hands, say these jesuitical hellhounds than the Angels do: they merits the kingdom of heaven of their own works. What shall I speak of their erroneous doctrine, seeing many, both learned and verivous, have written at large thereof. And therefore I pass it over, the rather because their pernicious doctrine is well known, and published to the world in print. But brother Diawinck. can you tell whether they say they have any conference wish Christ.  Diawinckia. 
Tush man, what speak you of conference, seeing that our blessed Lady as you know bringeth them, as they are sleeping, both bed and all unto heaven, and in their dreams they talk as familiarly with Christ as Robin-hood, and William of Clowdesly. All their talk with Christ is in dreams & visions, & I think ever will be. There talked once with me a jesuite, traveling to Madonna di loreto, who told me, that Christ is a vision appeared unto him, and said, that he should prove a notable Philosopher, well esteemed of all men, and therefore said this jesuite, this Aristoles book which you see, I carry always with me. Then I asked him, why rather he brought not with him the book of the new Testament▪ Then answered this jesuite, Aristotle's book is more profound and learned then the book of the new Testament. Thus we see, that the book of an Heathen philosopher, is more esteemed amongst these jesuits, than the book of the new Testament, containing nothing else in it, but the heavenly verity. Had not the Rector of the Germane College at Rome, seen in a vision our blessed lady come to him, telling him he should be a jesuite, he had never (as he thinketh) been a jesuite, nor rector of that College. He that feigneth best, and excelleth in hypocrisy, shallbe in great reputation amongst this new order of the jesuits. Here in this place I surcease to speak of the jesuits any more. Now will I speak a word or two touching the Theatines. The Theatines are a kind of religious men, who differ nothing in habit from the jesuits: their shirt bands are scarce to be seen, so are the jesuits: their gowns are sometimes of one colour, and sometimes of another. These Theatines have more revenues, yea and they far better than many an honest man doth: they hear confession, & there by so delude the people insomuch that they give them both money, & other things necessary. this foolish generation goeth never a begging, but all things necessary for provision are brought to their houses, I have been at their monasteries & have had such good cheer, the better lightly is not to be gotten. They have wine plenty, & all other things in great abundance. Now because this generation is obscure & unknown to the world, therefore to make them famous, is not mine intent, but this I say, that these jesuits, & these Theatines are in great emulation: the one speaketh evil of the other, the one envieth the other. There is no difference almost between the jesuits, & the Theatines. I would speak more abundantly of this order of the Theatines, if our English men were any whit molested by the name & sect thereof. God be thanked, England knoweth not what they be, & by me surely at this time England shall not know what they are. The remembrance of the present state of this our miserable time, wherein so many sects & so many vowed orders of vain profess●ds abound, doth drive a marvelous sorrow & grief into me, who have seen them. I bewail & lament their cases. For considering the pitiful plight of these our wretched days, what true Christian is there, but will power out a fountain of tears, to bewail the calamity thereof. The ruin of our adversaries is exceeded so far that it withdraweth man's expectation to look for amendment, unless God of his great mercy do work supernaturally the restitution. Again none might now double his exclamation, in these days as Seneca reporteth, which is: good life, law, good order, godliness, & faith are now decayed. Therefore, calling to my remembrance this our careful case, I mused with myself what might be the cause thereof, and suddenly came to my remembrance the comfortable promises of God the father, made to the keepers of his laws and commandments: and likewise I considered his intolerable threatenings to the breakers of the same. Then comparing the wretchedness of our lives to the sincerity of his holy precepts, I find a marvelous difference. Good life was never in such contempt, malice at no time bare such rule, the godly never more despised, and finally, God never more dishonoured, nor the Catholic faith at any time had in so little regard, especially of such as of arrogancy challenge to themselves the name of true Christians, who in very deed are utterly void of all christianity. To these the words of Christ may be well applied, where he saith in the 9 Chap. 15. If I had not come unto them, they should have had no sin in them, but now their sin doth remain. Which words are verily verified in those false Christians, which did err not only in faith, but also in all other points of religion, and yet obstinately seem to defend their religion. They will not yield to scripture, they will not consent to reason, they will not acknowledge the truth. It is by nature given to men, in some things to err, but to persist therein is against nature. For (saith Tully Lib. 1.) We be all drawn and led to aspire unto knowledge, wherein to pass other we think it a goodly matter: but to slide, to err, to be ignorant, to be deceived, we count it evil and dishonest. Therefore saith he, one thing is to be avoided therein, which is, that we take not things that we know not, as though we knew them, and rashly assent to them. Wherefore, deliberation and advertisement is to be required in such causes. Now than it is the office and duty of man, to apply his will to the grace of God, by whom truth is revealed in time, whereunto he ought to consent: The serpent Hydra, with whom Hercules fought, had not so many heads, as each of these serpents had devised opinions: nor yet Ixion begat so many Centaurs, as these monsters imagined heresies: insomuch that upon one point, which is the chiefest comfort left here upon earth, there are myriads opinionum, innumerable opinions, and one so contrary to another, that they agree like germans lips. The monstruossitie of which opinions are such, that to remember them, it yieldeth a marvelous terror to the heart of many a good christian. These adulterate jesuits think it not sufficient, to effeminate the minds of the simple with their false doctrine, and to defile the same with the venom of their viperous tongues, but also therewith have so slain the conscienses of many, that like men desperate of their own salvation, they make haste to their own destruction, who being puffed by with presumption, seek to climb up to the chariot of the sun. But as Phaeton was served, for going about to aspire to his father's secrets, and with a flash of lightning was set all on fire: so these presumptuous and ignorant people, shall be plagued with the like, unless they repent, as a due reward of presumption. This it is to follow the hissinges of the viper's brood, who never leave their haunt, till they have infected whole countries.  
For this cause (well-beloved readers) this present treatise is published, to set before men's eyes, the abominable lives, and odious practices of these papists, who in their own conceits presume, that they have the undoubted truth: whom (if you mark intus & incute) you shall well understand to be quite contrary. And thus much touching the jesuits: more of them (God willing) shallbe said in mine answer to the books written against me, most maliciously, and slanderously, by a jesuite as I guess. Belike he was ashamed to write his name lest that his ill qualities should be called in question.   

¶ The fift Dialogue. Wherein the lives of Certain Popish priests, with their Concubinesare declared.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Diawinckiani the converted Christian. Trisander. 
I Would desire thee, if thy leisure were such, loving companion, as to tell me more at large the corrupt lives of the hypocritical jesuits, who have none other care all their life time, but to feed and pamper their paunches with delicious wines, and delicate dishes to seek their ease, and use all kind allurements and enticements to whoredom, to keep themselves in all pleasures and idleness, & to give them selves into all monstrous infamies: the which they may very well do, and that freely. For they have many privileges, wherein they are well armed, and warranted to be exempted from all punishment. But for as much as your talk extendeth no farther touching jesuits, let me hear how the Popish Priests do live?  Diawinckiani. 
As their life was two hundredth years ago, such is their life now.  Trisander. 
How they lived then, and long time sithence, I find in histories. A Curate of Clavenie in the Duchy of Guienne, as Stephanus reporteth in his Apology upon Herodot. fol. 72. did seek to Saibborne the daughter of an honest man of the same town to his lewd lust and pleasure, whom he haunted in all places where she went: notwithstanding, she still flatly and constantly denied him, which bred the greater fire to his beastly desire. And therefore on a day, as the maid was going to her father's farm (somewhat out of the town) this minion masked in blue sarsenet, set all over with little starts of gold, having a fine  over his face, and his arms and legs bare, but covered likewise with . In this attire he appeared unto her on the way, and with counterfeit voice, showed her that he was the Virgin Marie, declaring unto her that sundry afflictions should fall upon the town, for the Luterane heresy that was entered amongst them, (against the which this Priest was a great Preacher) with sundry other purposes, touching the same: and further willed her to show it to the town, that they might celebrate her feast with fasting and prayer, telling her withal, how she had refused the friendship and love of a holy person, who in the same place (not long before) made suit unto her, but she denied him: and therefore, if he sought any thing at her hands hereafter, she was admonished that she should obey him, for in so doing there would great happiness fall unto her by it: finally she was charged that she should not discover this last part to any Creatures: the simple wench believed all for truth, and delivered it as a prophesy, and forewarneth them of that should happen to Clanuenie, for the which cause (at the first) the inhabitants feared much: and in the mean time this poor soul yielded to his villainy, which was shortly after spied, the practice discovered, and he executed as well worthy. In a village near unto Coignake, called Shermes; the Parson there abused his own sister so long, that in the end he gate her with child: which the Curate so covered, as she (being holden very holy through her deep Ipocrifie) was taken to be as chaste a Virgin as might be: and therefore when this fault was spied, he was not a shamed to publish, that it proceeded of the holy Ghost, and that she was a second Virgin Marie. The brute whereof coming to the hearing of Charles, the Earl of Angoleme, he sent of purpose to see how it was for that he suspected some abuse in it. In whose presence the supposed Virgin (of the age of thirteen years) being solemnly charged by her brother, upon the damnation of her soul, to deliver them the truth (repeating the second time the same miracle) she answered, I take this holy Sacrament to my damnation, before you all here present, that never any man did carnally know me, or in that sort of sin touch me, no more than that my brother have done: they hearing so vehement a vow returned, and confirmed the shameless report that was broached afore. But the Earl being wise, and noting the order of her oath nearer than they did, found the fire by the smoke, and therefore sent, and commanding that they should be severally committed, and they both examined, whereby the truth was confessed, and they both burned into ashes, and dedicated unto Vulcan. An example of a horrible incest, joined with blasphemy, which witnesseth the continente and chaste lives of those that were vowed from Matrimony: approving the godly fury of the Cardinal of Lorane, who hearing that a Bishop was secretly married, said, I marvel how these Lutherans have given themselves over to all the devils, to marry, seeing they have liberty otherwise, after their liking to satisfy their lusts, at their own pleasure. This did he speak generally to those that lived then of their holy mother the Church. For, what was it that those wretches would not attempt, to fulfil (after their insatiate gluttony) their beastly and rompwood lechery, having this Privilege, Si non caste, tamen caute. A jesuite Priest in Vienna in Austria, made it no conscience to abuse a merchants wise (whom he had under confession) before all the Saints of either kind, not simply in the church, but behind the Altar, and on good Friday. This fellow being taken with the manner, although the fault deserved as vile death as might be devised) yet he was only enjoined to do penance, and to forbear saying of Mass three months. Their Legate (coming from Rome) thinking this too sharp a punishment for so small a fault, presently absolved him, whose ordinary Masses were afterward found of as good savour, taste, and digestion, to those that willingly devoured them) as if they had been said of the most maidenliest Priest in the world. So that it one would search the evils of all sorts, committed by these ravening rabble that feed on the Church, he should find them innumerable. But, as touching their punishments, it was seldom, or for the most part so light, that it seemed (in deed) but a mockery: where as, on the other side, if any were but suspected to covet the true way to their salvation, fire and sword was laid upon them, with all the rigour and violence that might be. Many such histories could I recite, but because they are written in divers books at large, I purpose to make no more words thereof, but will refer the Readers to Stephanus, Platina, and other Historiographers, who have written abundantly thereof. Now I am desirous to hear the enormities and errors of these late Priests, whose life and conversation is altogether unknown to all this English land.  Diawinckiani. 
As I have begone to reveal the abuses of the Clergy, so will I proceed to speak thereof in all degrees. Now there remaineth that I should display the wickedness of the Mass Priests, I will speak no more, then that which mine eyes have seen. At Gaunt in Flaunders, there was a priest that told me Anno domnini. 1578. that if among the Turks he could find better living, he would not be afraid to offer sacrifice to Mahomet. For (said he) it is not the outward action that proveketh the indignation & displeasure of the most highest, but it is the inward cogitation, being rebellious and disobedient to God's holy will and ordinances, that causeth the reprobation of man. I am not constrained (said this wretched caitiff) to observe the commandments of God in word and deed, but in thought only. How void of reason, understanding, and Christianity these his words were, all men may see. Amongst the Turks he would live as a Turk, amongst the Papists, (the Turks cozen germans,) he would live as a Papist, and amongst the Christians he would fayne himself a Christian. At Augsburg in high Almain, there was a Priest at Mass, Anno domini 1578. that had his Leman to supply the room of the Clerk that was absent, now sir she being unfit for that place, when she should have said Suscipiat dominus hoc sacrificium, etc. she said, Et cum spiritu tuo. What hore (quoth he) canst thou not say, Suscipiat dominus hoc sacrificium etc. Master Parson (quoth she) you are to blame to use such terms by me, in presence of this people. What Drab (quoth he) avoid in haste, or else I will strike thee with my Chalice. Hereat his Leman ran away, crying, the devil take thee villainous Priest, thou hast abused me too too much.  Trisander. 
I would, if I had been at the sight hereof, have laughed as merrily as ever I did in my life. But I pray you tell me, did he make little God Almighty, and eat him also then.  Diawinckiani. 
Yea that he did, but what manner of Sacrifice he offered then in his rage unto God, surely I cannot tell, or with what charity he then received his maker, let the reader of this s●●ry judge by the railing disorder of his vehement words. At Curtrike in Flaunders, Anno domini 1578. there was a Priest who willed a little boy that was his Clerk, to fill his Chalice up to the brim: this drink is good (quoth he) and tasteth well in my mouth, therefore good child fill a little more.  Trisander. 
I think this Priest was glad to say Mass, to quench his thirst and to please his palate. At a village called Westendorfe in high Almain, there was a Priest, by report of the Parishioners, that as he was saying Mass, there came news unto him by a little lad, that a certain young man was a bed with his Leman. Assoon as he heard these words, he left the residue of his Mass unsaid, and came presently with his Clerk and two more, and found his Leman and the young man together in a bed: to whom he said, what in the devils name do you here? Can you not have told me of this your pastime, that I mought have taken part with you? Now therefore I enjoin you this penance, that you come in your shirt and smock to hear the rest of my Mass. At Alberstat in Saronye there was a Cannon Priest that wanted money, and could not tell what to do to get some wherefore he thought it good to con●●●e up a devil, with whom he compounded, that if he would procure him two thousand Dollars, he would assure the devil of a baptized body. To the which promise the devil assented, and procured the money. The day being appointed, when the body baptized should be given to the devil, this Cannon Priest had provided before hand, that a goose should be baptized in the font, where Christians were wont to be baptized, and this goose was given to the devil. When the wicked spirit had perceived this policy, he said, thou hast beguiled me now, but I will deceive thee an other time.  Trisander. 
Is it not strange that men are deluded by these crafty Priests seeing the devil himself is beguiled by their craft and policy.  Diawinckiani. 
It is nothing strange. In Italy there happened the like thing, for in the Neapolitan kingdom there were certain (as far as I do remember) Priests, that borrowed a great sum of money of the devil, and promised to repay the debt by such a day, if not, that he should use them at his pleasure. When the day came, these Romish Italian Priests were merrily banqueting, not being mindful of their promise touching the discharging of the debt: the devil came amongst them, and demanded his money: now, when it was told him that they had it not ready, he stew them every one to the number, of five and twenty Priests, and lay men. This thing was reported unto me to be true at Sinegallie, whether it be true or false I cannot tell, but I suppose it to be rather true than otherwise, because many avouched the same to be true, and they were all Italians. At Ausburghe there was a Priest that had drunken more than sufficient who when he was at Mass, he cried, ho lafoy hosts, give me some more beer for I am a thirst. This Priest notwithstanding was about to make his Saviour, in transubstantiating the bread and wine by a few words uttered by him, into the very body and blood of Christ. This Priest was not far unlike unto him that was at Mass, who when he was at his memento, his boy came unto him, and told him that his neighbour's swine were entered into his garden: he had no sooner heard these words, but in a fury he broke forth into this speech, forgetting his memento, and not remembering the place wherein he was, what in the devils name do the swine there: go thither (said he to his boy) and kill them every one.  Trisander. 
No doubt this man wanted patience and charity, and received the Sacrament of the Altar unworthily, not only for other causes, but also for these his furious and unquiet Passions, he received the Sacrament as an ill disposed Parson, no doubt.  Diawinckiani. 
In a City called Guntzburgh, there was a Priest so dron●ke, that he could not stand to say M●s●e, and when he had filled his chlalice with wine, he cried with a loud voice praising the wine: the Clerk whispered in his ear that he had received the blood of Christ, God send me more such blood (quoth he) and I pray thee good Clerk fill the Chalice again. Master Parson (quoth the Clerk) I pray you dispatch your Mass, for surely good bear hath made your head so light, that you know not what you do. I tell thee knave (quoth he) fill the Chalice, or else I will make thy pate ache. This Mass was dronkenly begun and dronkenlye ended.  Trisander. 
Surely this Priest was 〈◊〉 fit man for such a profane and polluted Sacrament. To serve the devil a drunken man is most meet, for if he ●hall transform himself into the likeness of a child and so appear in the host of bread, he may bid him convey a pottle of wine at a need, out of the Pope's sared Chaplains wine-cellar,.  Diawinckiani. 
Thou sayest well and duly: but mark, I will tell thee a ●errie and a true story of a Priest of Palam, where a Queen a Virgin the emperors daughter albeit a Papist, ●●t surely affable, amiable, and a succourer and favourer of strangers) hath her abode. This Priest Anno domini 1580. travailed to Italy, & as he came to Venice, there was brought him such wine as pleased him so well, that he asked what drink it was: his hosts being a merry man, and knowing he was a German, told him that it was the tears that came down from the eyes of Christ, in such abundance, they his tears at three several times, when he wept filled a whole hogshead. Oh (quoth the Priest) how is this credible, that he being a man, could shed so many tears, and that his tears should be converted to so sweet a drink as I taste of, than answered his host, in that he was a man alone he did not this miracle, but in that he was both man and God, this came to pass by that means, this thing I say, that his tears filled a whole hog● shed, and became notable good wine. Then said the Priest, but how got you● his tears converted into this pleasant drink, whereof (I thank you) I have had a taste? then said his host, that Christ sent it by his Angel to all italy, and the more we drink thereof the more we have. Oh good God (quoth this Mass Priest) wherein have we● Germans offended Christ, that he sent nothing of tears to us also to make our hearts merry therewith?  Trisander. 
Surely this Priest was a very witty man, I think that if a man had told him that the Citizens of Venice brought their merchandise from heaven, he would have believed them. indeed I must say that it was a strange thing, for this Almain Priest, to get such pleasant wine as he did then at Venice and belike he never tasted the like drink before. At Eraneble in France, there came a fellow to the Bishop, minding to take holy orders: the Bishop willed him to read this place of Scripture, Faciemus hic tria tabernacula, unum tibi etc. this word Tabernacula, he could not well pronounce, but thus he read that place, Faciemus tria traber●ula. The Bishop being angry, said, three turds: unum tibi (quoth he, my Lord that sought to have been made Priest) alterum for Mary your sweet ●arte, and tertium for Margaret your ●aughter. With these words the Bishop was so moved, that he called the Reader knave. Then said the Reader, have you made me Deacon now my Lord: whether this story be true or no, I cannot tell: for it was told me of certain Frenchmen being merrily disposed, and if it be a fable, let it pass as a fable. But I will now speak of one that came to the Bishop of Graisoble. Anno domini 1579. to seek for Priesthood, and when he came to be examined of the Bishop's Chaplain, touching doctrine, he put his hand in his pocket, and said to his examiner, Ecce hic: and gave him a handful of money. Then the Bishop's Chaplain came to his Lordship, & told him that he had not a better Scholar to be examined in three years before. Then the Bishop sent this man to a singing Cannon of the Qutere, to be proved whether he could sing Mass or no, and when he came to be examined, he gave also a handful of money to this singing Cannon: and as soon as he received the money, he told the people that he knew by a few interrogations propounded unto the said fellow, that it was in vain to examine him farther in notes of singing. Thus by means of his money, he was counted both learned, and also a good Qutereman, whereas he was neither of both. This story I know to be true for the same thing hath been reported unto me by divers, aswell of the clergy, as of the laity. Many such stories could I recite, but few may content the mind of the Reader. And at Moleina, a little town in the Dolphin of France, there was a Priest that kept his sister, in stead of a concubine, as it appeared at last, in that she was with child, and confessed her brother to be the father thereof. Whereupon it was enjoined him by way of penance, to go and visit Madonna di Loreto.  Trisander. 
surely an easy penance for such an horrible crime, hanging had been too too good for such an execrable fact: but one Popish Priest will bear with an other.  Diawinckiani. 
Thou hast said truth. But mark, I will tell thee of a story worthy the hearings, wherein is to be noted the dissimulation of a shavelinge Priest. In city called Langue in Picardy, there was a holy (as they termed him) Priest, that took his pilgrimage to S. james in Spain: who when he returned home, he boasted of so many revelations and visions, that he would not otherwise have the people persuaded, but that S. james brought him to heaven, and there showed him all the glorious buildings that are to be seen. The walls (said he) of that Princely Palace of God, were altogether of crystal, sapphire, Diamonds, Carbuncles, and such other precious stones. The pavements, both within and without that heavenly and celestial court of God, were of gold, silver, and such other costly metal. The covering thereof was bright shining gold, the like whereof I never saw before. Then S. james brought me to dinner, amongst the Apostles, where I refreshed myself very princely: at the last I shook hands with all the Apostles, and so took my farewell of them. Then S. james gave me his picture in silver, and promised, that whosoever would offer to the same, during the time that I am at Mass, he would carry his soul at his departure to heaven The people believed every word that he spoke, and offered much money to the picture, which the Priest received, and applied it to his own use. This Priest made simple women believe, that if the would not condescend to his luxurious and fleshly request, S. james would take revengement upon them: so that by this his pilgrimage, he gate money abundantly, and alured many women, to Venus' folly. This is the fruit of priests pilgrimages, I would to God they considered the end of this their counterfeit holiness. There was another Priest that travailed with me on Pilgrimage in France to S. Sebastian, this man's life-was dissolute, his words profane, and his manners lewd, when any Massmonger had committed some heinous offence, he determined with the consultation of his ghostly father, and other of his anointed company, to make a vow to visit one or other holy place, for expiation of his sins: and in his whole pilgrimage he meditated upon nothing else, then upon liberal women of their bodies. Oh God, what do these hypocrites mean, to vaunt of holiness, and meddle so much with the world: do they not pass to dissemble thus with men, as they do, for temporal gain, and to be disherited of life everlasting by this their folly? Let not the Papists imagine that I have reported this of malice, or that I untruly told the lives of their lascivious clergy: or pray for them, I wish their conversion in the Lord. Their malicious and untrue reports of me have troubled my patience never a whit: speak what you will, rail and revile, scoff and taunt me at your pleasure, count me what you will, a fool, an ass, unlearned, and whatsoever beside, I am not offended, I am not moved with these your uncharitable terms: God convert your mind to understand his holy word, and unfeignedly to observe it, during life: and God make us all fit instruments for his blessed kingdom, and grant that we may glorify him in our doings, edify his church and congregation, and profit our own souls, and so enjoy the crown of glory in the kingdom of the most highest. I will recite three or four more incontinente Priests, and so make an end of this matter. Lingano in Italy, a Priest kept his own daughter, in steed, of his concubine, and being made great with child by this Priest she confessed, (as soon as she was examined by the Magistrates) that her father, the Priest and parson of the parish had gotten her with child. When this Priest was brought to be● examined, he denied not his manly fact, but stood in proving the same his unnatural deed, to have been lawful and commendable: for (said he) she is my base daughter, I have nourished and brought her up from a child unto woman's estate, and in recompense of all my charges, costs, and labour, she ought to supply my want with her own body, being forbidden to marry: and with whom can such a man as I am, being destitute of a wife, be better pleased, then with his own daughter base begotten? If I had taken an other man's daughter, I had offended none but the parents: but seeing I have used mine own daughter, to fulfil my lust, no man (I think) ought to be offended. This bawdy Priest escaped unpunished, for they that had the examination of him, belike were as had as he. How witty his words were, let all men judge. If a Massmonger cannot get one or other to accomplish his libidinous lust, he will then procure to himself his daughter, yea sister, yea and his mother, rather than fail: such is the impretie of the idolatrous Priests. At Viterbo in Italy, Anno domini 1579. there was a Priest borne at Naples, that loved the Burdell house so well, that he said three or four Masses in one day, to get him some money, to the end his often coming to the Burdell houses might be more accepted. As I myself travailed from Milan to Rome, I have had them oftentunes in my journey, that woulds not stick to play the part of a ingler in their masking garments at the altar, before whom they would, yea even a sheep if you gave him but six pence. And you shall find a popish priest, that will say Mass in the fields for the safeguard of the sheep against the wolf. Let travailers reprove me: if this be untrue, that a man for a little money, shall have many Masses, and that of one Massmonger, in one day. At Viglevan a city in Italy Anno domini 1578. there was a rich citizen that had buried his wife, and afterwards could take no rest in his house in the night time, for the stir and noise of his wives spirit. This citizen asked council of a Chaplain of our Ladies, what was best to be done▪ this priests device was, for lucre and gains that there should be many Masses soonge for his wives soul, which was (as he said) tormented by the devil in his house. This citizen demanded of the priest what money he would take to redeem his wives soul by his Masses, from all such torments, misery and grief, wherewith she was perplexed and tormented. The priest undertook for a hundredth crowns that his wives soul should fly to heaven. The citizen, to be in quiet, was content to grant his request. The priest used a long season to say Mass for the delivery of this spirit, but it would not b●e: the more Masses were said, the more was the spirit vexed, and made the greater rumbling in the citizen's house. The citizen being in a chafe, came to the priest, and told him, that if he would not use better Masses, to deliver his wives spirit from that vexation and trouble wherein she was, he would not only have his money back again, which the priest had received, but also take revengement upon him, for that he by his flattery had been deluded: when the priest heard this being somewhat skilful in magic, he craved to come to his house that night, and I cannot tell how, whether by his conjuration, or by any other means, it came to pass that the spirit never appeared afterwards nor yet was heard. But surely if he had not been skilful in Necromancy, he had never chased away this spirit of illusion out of the citizens house by his Masses. He tried seven or eight weeks by these Masses to get this somme of money and could not for all that, but for one or other covenant and bargain he made with the devil in one night, the citizen's wives spirit never did afterwards once disquiet the house. Thus oftentimes it happeneth with the papists, that when with their Masses they obtain not their purpose and intent, then by their magical art they will do what they can. There was a Priest at Hadocke in Bavaria, that made a woman believe, that she should be transformed to a mare, and that the devil should ride upon her over craggy mountains and stony places unless she would fulfil his fleshly lust. This Priest, for that he had fallen out with her husband, durst not come to his house, nor his wife to the priests house. The priest wanting no craft and subtlety, when the woman came to confession, he willed her to repair home, and to feign herself very sick, and like to die, and to cry for master Parson to hear her confession again, for that she had concealed some notorious crime from him. As soon as she came home she sounded, as though the spirit was ready to take her, vitimum vale from the body. Why how now frowe (quoth her husband) what aileth you to be sick, and so sick, that you are like to die? Oh husband send speedily for master Parson, or else I must say adieu to you all, adieu to this world, before I have confessed that to master parson, which troubleth my conscience, and from whom I have concealed in my confession a thing which I could have uttered to day. Ah my body is feeble, my heart panteth full sore, my strength faileth me, my feet begin to ware cold, my breath is short, I am ready to give up the ghost: Oh call for master parson, that I may be shriven again. The priest was sent for, and as he entered the chamber, he sprinkled the same with water, and then he said so his patient, how do you neighbour, I am come hither to give you ghostly comfort, and to hear your confession, and to minister the Sacrament of holy unction. He caused all them that were in the chamber to departed thence, until he had played his feats of activity with her: but the morning following she being recovered, was very merry and jocund. The woman's husband being a wise man suspected some secret friendship to have been between his wife and the parson, in so much that ever afterwards he invited the parson to dinner and supper, twice or thrice a week. Upon a tune he feigned that he would make a journey to Inghelstatte, and remained at home unknown to his wife in a counting house of his, and then the good wife, not mistrusting any thing, made the priest of the parish to be called, and ordained notable good cheer for his entertainment: at night, as they were merry & had made good cheer, her husband took them both naked, & made the priest lighter by both his stones. Oh villain (quoth the husband to the priest) hast thou thus used me for the great courtesy that I have showed thee? therefore I am revenged on thee: hold, take thy stones, and keep them in thy purse at all times when thou sayest Mass: now I am out of doubt thou wilt never make more kuckoldes. Then he put his wife in a close chamber, and gave her bread and water once a day, for the space of one whole year. There was an other priest but here in England by report in Queen Mary's time that heard the confession of a gentlewoman, how she used the carnal company of a young gentleman of that parish: the priest being of a lecherous disposition practised by all means possible to obtain her favour, and by amorous talk he assayed her many ways, but all in vain: at last there came a maid a servant of that gentlewoman's to him to shrift, and when she had made an end of her confession, he asked her where she was borne, she told him in such a shire, naming Yorkshire: he asked in what place there, and she told him, the place, he asked the names of her parents, and she told him, I am glad (quoth he) that I have found a cousin here, I came from thence where you were borne, and your mother was my aunt. You know I am parson of this parish (quoth he) and have some substance, I have no kinsfolk here in this parish besides you good cousin, and therefore come often and continualiye to my house, for I will make you executrix of all that enjoy. The poor maid was glad to find such a cousin, but when she came unto his house, he had bought a pair of perfumed gloves to be delivered by his cousin to her mistress, which being delivered, her mistress on a sudden was wrappeth in love with the priest, so that she from that time forwards feasted the priest full o●ten, and took him for her second paramour. Thus the Priest, by his knavish conceit, got his pleasure on the gentlewoman. Popish priests want not their trains of subtleties, to bring that to pass, which they desire: as by many histories of their lives it plainly appeareth. If I should put in writing the abuses of those priests whom I have partly known, and of whom I have partly heard, than this book should grow to a great volume: but the christian reader may by the history of the ungodly shavelings here recited take heed of their hypocrisy, and count them as false Prophets, and wolves in sheeps clothing. Their works do testify, that among them, there is no God, but the Pope: and they say with the fleshly Epicure, give me that is here present, and let God alone with that is to come. If they were true Christians, and had regard to their soul's health, would learn by the sermons of faithful preachers, and understand by the holy scriptures, that besides this life, besides this world, this kingdom, these things here present, there be other things, and much greater things, an other life, an other kingdom, an other world to be looked for, doubtless they would never dissemble with the people as they do. What do they think that God knoweth not their secret sodomy, their pollution, and carnal copulation? Will they be named holy virgins, sacred priests, and chaste sacrificers, because many of them, follow the council of S. Benet. Si non caste, tamen caute. If thou canst not live chastely, walk closely. They pass not to displease God in his heavenly sight, but the displeasure of man they dread: and therefore they think themselves as happy as any Saints, if the people know not of their wickedness. Here in this world, they hunt for praise, vainglory, opinion of holiness, and for humble reverence: they will be esteemed before all others, and saluted as holy fathers, and chaplains to our Lady. O English men beware of these false Prophets, and you that are infected with the poison of Popish superstition, ask council in time, use some good remedy to purge the infection out of your soul, apply the salve of the word of God unto your grief, and you shallbe helped, and made whole, safe, and sound again: repent, repent, fly from papistry while it is time, ere it be to late, for our life is very short. To write farther of the incontinency of the Pope's holy priests, I think it not needful, for that the whole world knoweth, that popish priests, for the most part (yea in a manner all) have ever lived and do live incontinently, for all their brags of chastity: they let loose the rains to all the just of the flesh. Let travailers to foreign countries bear witness with me, of that which I have reported by them. Mark the lives of the popish priests that are in Flaunders, Brabante, Holland, Friesland, France, Savoy, Italy and Germany: you shall confess, albeit they are wifeless, yet that they are not womanlesse; albeit they are forbidden to marry, yet that they are permitted to keep concubines: they have them, I have seen them, I have talked with them, and both he and she have confessed that they were dispensed with all. It is not one priest that is dispensed to take a concubine: neither is it two, neither is it twenty, neither is it a thousand: but all massmongers, of what country soever, are suffered to have concubines. Is it marvel then, that the Pope's shavelings do so vehemently inveigh against priests marriage, seeing it is tolerable for them to keep concubines▪ if the Pope's dispensation were good and godly (as it is not) surely better it were to take a concubine, then to marry a wife. For a concubine if she were a shrew, and sharp of her tongue, a man might put her away, and take an other, and so he could take the choice and proof of two and fifty in one year, and the Pope should dispense withal. Is it to be wondered that the Pope hath so many subjects, more loyal unto him, then to their natural Princes, seeing he dispenseth with them in all their wickedness, and alloweth their devilish practices, and furthereth their impious and Venereous inclination, with his Antichristian permission? The whore of Babylon, the minister of antichrist, and the false Prophets prohibit matrimony, but allow all manner of whoredom. They condemyne chaste wedlock and approve a lascivious life. These are the enormities of the church of Rome, this is the iniquity of the Pope and of his Cardinals, to establish impiety, and to suppress virtue, to punish yea and count the heretics Priests, that seek under the yoke of wedlock to avoid fornication, and to leave others unpunished that keep concubines: yea to permit them to take as many as they list. The law of chastity enjoined unto Priesthood, the which was first ordained to the prejudice of women, induceth Sodomy into the Church: the delicate feeding and fare of the Clergy, will have ryther a natural purgation, or some worse: the secret trial and proof of such men is, that they do delight in women. But God of his might for priny sins doth send open vengeance. And though the world spieth their proneness to leacherye, yet never reckou they wedlock any godly estate of living, though it were an only order instituted of God in the beginning: yea for his Priests also But commonly they have dissuaded both men and women from it, as from a most pernicious evil, or from a mischief of all mischiefs, calling it foolishness, beastliness, a walking in darkenesie, a mainetenance of lechery, a fullfilling of fleshly desires, a ground of all vice, an entrance of death, a corrupting of maydenhoode, a lake of misery, a clay pit of uncleanness, a thraldom of Egipte, a net of Satan, a snare of the devil, and a pond of perdition: such perverse stomachs have they borne to holy wedloeke, instituted by God himself in Paradise, and confirmed by Christ's presence in Galilee, and by the first miracle that he wrought there, as some writ, at the marriage of S. john the Evangelist, that they seek to subvert the same. Let the Pope disannul priests marriage, yet some will follow the council of Paul in this, that it is better to marry than burn, better it is to take a wife, then to shut a whore in his study, as Bonner did, the which place was showed unto me. Pope Calixtus the second of that name, was he that first forbade Priests, Deacons or Subdeacons to have wives: whereupon one in England wrote a sharp Epigram against him, thus much in effect:  
O bone Calixte, nunc omnis clerus odit te,  
Quondam praesbyteri poterant uxoribus uti,  
Hoc destruxisti, postquam tu Papa fuisti,  
Ergo tuum meritò nomen habent odio.  
O good Calixtus now the Clergy doth thee hate,  
In former time the Churchmen might enjoy their spousal mate:  
But thou hast taken this away to popeship since you came,  
Therefore as thou deserved haste, they do detest thy name.  
This was the arrogant and shameless impudency of this minister of Satan, Pope Calixtus, to forbid the marriage of Priests. And who seeth not manifestly these men's impudency, which contemn and dispraise that honourable estate of holy wedlock, to the end that they might advance their own filthiness, and bring unclean single life, and the abominable vows of their counterfeit chastity in estimation, to the verefyinge of that in themselves which hath been long ago foretold by the holy Apostle. I will tell you of the knavery of one or two priests, in hearing the confession of two maids at Naples, as I was credibly informed of certain merchants that had been there when this thing was done: and travailed in my company, Anno domini 1578. This Neapolitan Priest was incensed with the love of a fair maid of Naples, he attempted many ways by large effers, & greater promises to win this maid to satisfy his inordinate lust: but he laboured in vain. At last, he devised to allure her to folly after this manner, when the maid came to be shriven of him, and had ended her confession, the Priest sayned that our blessed Lady appeared before him in his study, and willed him to tell the maid, that in stead of absolution she should sleep with him that night. For of her (said our Lady to the Priest) should a child be begotten that should be one of the pillars of the Church. When the maid heard this, she answered, oh good God, what caused our blessed Lady to bid me sleep with you, but seeing our blessed Lady hath willed me to lie by your side to night, I will do as she hath commanded, for fear of her heavy displeasure. There was a Priest at Sinagaglia Anno domini 1580. who wanted money, it may be to offer to the Courtesans, and therefore he invented this shift. There was a rich widow that had good store of money, and came to him to be shriven: now when she had ended her confession, he told her that it was revealed unto him in a vision, that if this woman would not gove him tourescore crowns, he should not absolve her of her sins, until she would vow a monastical life. This woman had rather departed from sourscore crowns, than not to have been absolved. I have written of these jesurtes, for that they are sent by their Rectors to this land, to pestre the same with heresies, and have given evident notice to our countrymen of their hypocrisy and dissimulation, exhorting them to beware that by their outward show of holiness they do not deceive them. They are as crafty as the Scribes and pharisees, and they pervert the people as the Scribes and pharisees did in Christ his time. These jesuits preach not as they ought, for they leave the word of God, and teach their own traditions, they preach evil, for they wrist the very Scriptures, or rather rashly gather them out of old rotten papers, ready wrested by others. And for that I say wrested by others, the stolen books of controversy that are scattered here in England, who bring them but the jesuits, and from whence came they but from Rome, or from some other city where there is a Covent of begging jesuits? What written books of divinity soever the learned jesuits of any nation have, by the post they impart the copy thereof to all jesuits of all countries. And whereas he wrote, that I took some part of my first book out of Philip of Norleyes' book, what is that to the purpose? You take, to answer that part the help of Bellar●●inus dictates, which have made D. Bristol famous. For he committeth his lesson to memory as a child doth the dictates of his master, and readeth them publicly to the English students. His books that are written against that learned man D. Fuilke, & others, are gathered (as I suppose) out of father Robert Bellar●●inus dictates. Well, let these things pass, until a more convenient time serve to write hereof. But this by the way I annswere to Parson (as I surmise) his malicious detractions, where he sayeth that they of the reformed church are driven to this exigent, that they are glad to have such simple fellows as I am, and others whom he named. But let him be assured that in England, at this day, there are a thousand that can encounter with him, and all the whole crew of blasphemous jesuits. They are able (God be thanked) to confute them in their errors, albeit in hugger-mugger they are groat bragger's, and little doers: they are fearful barkers, but small biters. What praise shall the learned win by meddling with these boasters and bragger's of themselves, who when they come to defend their cause, they allege eld wives tales, the lives of feigned Saints, false miracles and such like trifles. As for the Scriptures, when they allege them, they pervert the sense thereof. Now, should learned men trouble themselves with such perverse men, that have no knowledge in God's book, the most unlearned minister in England is able by authority of Scripture to overthrow them with their sophistical and fantastical religion. For these great Rabines and masters, do never once read the bible orderly, and yet the blind and ignorant people doth reverence, these sowgelders in steed of Gods. For in Germany these jesuits are so termed in their language. These are they which now leave their bellies, seeking their own glory, & not the true glory of God, which might be s●tfoorthy even by Balaams' ass: much less than ought we to contemn such abjects, as preach the word of God. We have (saith S. Paul) this treasure in bricketh vessels that the glory of the power might be of God, and not of ourselves. God hath chosen the foolish things of the world, to confound the wise: and the weak things hath God chosen, to confound the mighty: and utle things of the world and despised, hath he chosen, and things that are not, to bring to nought things that are, that no flesh should glory in his sight. But now all men (in a manner) will be wise, and therefore they are ashamed of the simple Gospel, and of uneloquente preachers, they are ashamed (truly) to say with Paul, and to performent in deed: I brethren, when I came unto you, did not come with excellency of words, or of wisdom, preaching the testimony of Christ. For I esteemed not myself, to know any thing amongst you, but only jesus Christ, and him crucified. 2. Cor. 2. O voice of a true Evangelist? But now we are ashamed of this foolish preaching, by the which it hath pleased God to save all those which believe in him and being puffed up with out own fleshly mind, we do rather choose proudly to deal in those things wherein we are slenderly seen, preaching fables and lies, and not the law of God, which is undefiled, and converting men's souls. God give the people grace better to esteem his word than they have done hitherto, that they may give due honour unto the ministers thereof, according as they are admonished in the Scriptures. For now scarce the Bishops are stéemed, as they ought to be: as for others, they are had in contempt with the proud, rather than otherwise. Who now a days more vile with the foolish people than a minister? who more abject than he? the Papists have their Priests in greater reverence, who are better loved by a great deal, than our ministers are amongst their own flock. I do not write this, that men should come to the ministers with cap and knee: no, they ought not to be so vainglorious as to require such obeisance, but they ought to be regarded and honoured, as Christ himself hath appointed. But of this matter I will write no more, let the people if they will follow Christ, do as Christ hath commanded: or else let them be sure they are not the followers of Christ. But lest I might seem too tedious in this discovery of the jesuits, and Papists, I will here make an end directing all the rest of my talk wholly unto them both, whom this dialogue specially concerneth, exhorting them to be reformable, and to cease of from having the word of the eternal God in contempt. Be ye therefore better minded than you have been hitherto, say with Haule, It is hard to kick against the prick, O leave your erroneous opinions, abhor heresy, and be reconciled to the truth, that you may be received again into the perpetual favour of God, purchased by Christ to all them that by faith and repentance come unto him. You have examples of divers that recanted and forsook the dregs of popish superstition, and spent their blood for the testimony of their faith, as you may read in the histories of the church of Christ. And as you have them, so follow them, to your own salvation. Now as long as you are obstinate, and stiff-necked in your naughty and perverse opinion, so long shall you be under the indignation and displeasure of God and the Prince, so long shall your state be miserable, your mind unquiet, fraught full of fear and dread, your heart out of comfort, no safety in your life, briefly you shall lack no calamity: but if you will recant, your trespass shall be pardoned, and displeasure removed, than fear shall depart, comfort shall come, and you shall receive hope of eternal life. Your fear shallbe turned to hope, death to life, damnation to salvation, hell to heaven, malediction to blessing, the power of Satan shallbe dissolved, your care shallbe turned to consolation, finally all the felicities of heaven, so many as Paradise can hold, shall belong to you as to all other unfeigned believers of the Gospel of Christ jesus. O Englishmen, you that are Priests secundum ordinem Antichristi Papae Romani, after the order of antichrist the Pope of Rome, be no longer enemies to the truth divided and sundered from God and your loving Queen Elizabeth. Your obstinacy engendereth wrath, and provoketh judgement: and judgement by law ministereth death and damnation: with death entereth the devil, and with him heaps of infinite miseries and calamities. In this pickle the impenitent lieth for ever, without redemption of our Lord and Saviour jesus Christ. So long as you hold with the Pope, you shall be execrable unto God, and odious unto your Prince: expend therefore and weigh in your minds, cast with yourselves, in what a miserable perplexity & wretched case you massmongers are, so many as be not yet reconciled unto the truth in Christ. Turn unto the living God, and as you have long tasted of his wrath so now begin to taste his friendship. A better friend you cannot have, yea, to say the truth, no other friend ye lack but him, whom if you have your friend, no enemy can do you hurt: if he be your enemy, no friend can do any good: if ye desire his friendship, ye need not seek it far, it is offered unto you in the Scripture, at what time so ever ye recant, God is ready to receive you into his favour and grace. But than you must take it while it is offered. Behold, now the acceptable year: yet is the good time, yet the golden time, yet is the day of salvation, yet to day lasteth, and yet the gate is open, wherein the wise virgins may enter. But if it be once shut again, the foolish virgins shall never have it open any more. Take mercy and pardon therefore, while it is offered: refuse it not least ye be refused. The eternal God, and father of our Lord jesus Christ, which is true in his promises, and wonderful in all his works, have pity of all Papists, and speedily conduct you to the knowledge of the truth, that you may be saved through the merits of Christ jesus, our only redeemer and Saviour.  Trisander. 
Amen, And I beseech the same God, to give them some portion of his holy Spirit, to keep and confirm them in the knowledge of the eternal truth of his Gospel: that we all, like brethren, and children of one father, may laud and praise the name of the Lord our God, that exalteth the humble and meek, doth throw & pull down the proud and high minded Papists. And thus much briefly touching this Dialogue of Popish Priests, and their execrable abuses.  
The end of the fift Dialogue.   

The sixth Dialogue, wherein is laid open the dissension that hath been in the English Seminary at Rome, and the orders of that Seminary.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Theophilactus the converted Christian. Trisander. 
Now are we come to Rome the famous City of the world, and the seat of Antichrist: but before we enter into this City can ye tell me how this Church is called, and who paid for the building of the same?  Theophilactus. 
What the name thereof is I cannot tell, but Pope julius the third, when the state of true religion, was subverted, and altered, and papistry planted, erected the same Church, of his own expenses, and made processions, and singing Te Deum with great solemnity, to declare the joy and gladness that was pretended for this reconciliation.  Trisander. 
I think the Devil triumphed very much, & great joys were then in hell amongst his rout of Angels. For this metamorphoses, and sudden alteration in religion, the Pope his vice gerent here on earth rejoiced, and the Devil his master was glad that both king and queen, nobles and commons disjoined and dissevered themselves from the unity of Christ's Church. The Pope was more enriched, his authority amplified, & his kingdom enlarged: the Pope had plenty of worldly goods, and Peter pence pleased him best, the Devil sought nothing else but the silly souls of the wretched persecutors, and their unhappy souls contented him most of all. But tell me (I pray you good friend Theophilactus) what moved the Pope to erect this Church without the walls of the City?  Theophilactus. 
I know not in good sooth what caused him so to do, unless he had thus conceit in his subtle brains, that K. P. and Q. M. should stand without the City to see the repairing of the ruinous walls of Rome, the city of iniquity, and there both K. P. & Q. M. should stand to pay the workmen their hire. And surely so it came to pass in the days of K. P. and Q. M. that a great part of the ruins of that City was repaired up again, to the contentment of the Pope and his master, whom he serveth, even the jailer of hell. But now all praise be ascribed to the Lord, that by the means of his faithful servant Queen Elizabeth our gracious princess, the light of the Gospel shineth throughout all this kingdom, the ruins that were once repaired are now broken down again, Antechristes' religion is exiled, and the truth is preached of painful labourers in Christ's vinyeard, and their doctrine is embraced of all true English subjects. God's holy name be praised therefore.  Trisander. 
Let us now enter into the City, where shall we take our loading to night? can you tell?  Theophilactus. 
Yes that I can, we will go to the English hospital, and there we shall be welcome, if we tell the scholars any news that are in the college adtoyning to that hospital.  Trisander. 
What news shall we show them? they are of a contrary religion to us, they are disloyal subjects both to God, and to their princess. And if we would tell them any such news as they covet to hear, we should offend both God and our loving Queen: therefore we dare certify them of nothing done in England, without offence: and if we durst, yet we would not, for that they are degenerated from the faith, and are unnatural unto their Country.  Theophilactus. 
Tush man, you are melancolique, you fear to utter that which may be uttered for news unto the scholars. Let us tell them that father Edmund Campion, Ignatius di layolas priest is highly promoted in England. For he is Archbishop of the Tower of London, and retaineth in his service many a stout Prelate. Let us tell them of their Catholic martyr William Sherwood, which was executed and put to death, for that he committed a horrible murder upon Richard Hobson, Gentleman, both prisoners in the kings bench for the profession of Popery. Let us bid them make haste to return home, they shall want no preferment: the Bishopric of Newgate? is void, the Archdeaconship of the kings bench is vacant, and many rich benefices in the tower do wait and tarry their coming home. For these recited places are receptacles of all the worthiest unreformed priests that come from beyond seas. These news will animate & embolden the Pope's scholars very much, to seek to have access to Cardinal Modone, for their letters of presentation to this deanery, and that deanery, to this Archdeaconship & that Archdeaconship, to this benefice and that benefice. About a two years ago, there was such a brute at Rome, that Queen Elizabeth was dead, that the scholars triumphed, and were at variance between themselves, who should have the beast Ecclesiastical livings here in England, some said he would be dean of Paul's, another would assign to himself the deanery of York, & so every one would choose to himself, one peculiar place or other, therein to be dean, archdeacon, or parson, one of the scholars made suit to Cardinal Modone, to have his letters of presentation to be made M. Parson assoon as he came to England. And at another time there was great stir, and controversy at Rome, between Goldwel Quondam bishop of saint Ass: and Shelley, Prior of the order of the cross: which of them should be Archbishop of Canterbury, for both of them were persuaded, through a false surmised report, that our loving Queen was diseased, whom God preserve from day to day, to his glory, and the public benefit of this fortunate English Island. Their vain interrogations may be fed and pleased by the news before mentioned.  Trisander. 
I am content to dee as you have said, for by the recital of such news I will satisfy their inquisitive demands. But tell me (good friend Theophilactus) how long may we lawfully remain in the English hospital, without offence unto the superiors of that house?  Theopilactus. 
Eight days may we stay there, and have both meat drink, and lodging, which days being expired, we must departed thence.  Trisander. 
But shall we be examined of our religion of the Pope's inquisitors?  Theophilactus. 
There is no examination of religion, unless they have you in suspicion of a contrary religion. You may be in Rome twenty years, and never be examined touching your religion, unless some of your acquaintance to bewray you, or else that you speak one word or other invectively against their Romish religion: which if ye do, then shall you be straightly examined of the inquisitors, and have no favour, without recanting the truth, but suffer taunts and railing words which you shall not want nor any misery or sorrow that they can procure you in any respect.  Trisander. 
But we will take heed what we speak, that we fall not into their mercy. But let these words pass, and now tell me (I pray you) who were the founders of this hospital, and what revenues hath it, and what is he that is protector of this hospital.  Theophilactus. 
Kings of England first founded this hospital, and bought certain houses within the walls of the City of Rome for the maintenance thereof: as for lands, it hath none belonging unto it. Cardinal Morone is protector thereof, and of the English college adjoining unto the same. D. Morris, a welsh man, is the provider and manciple thereof, which D. Morice was sometimes rector of the English Seminary, but during the time of his Rectourship, there was such dissension in the College amongst the English men, and the welshmen, that I think the spirits of darkness did better agree together in hell. This D. Morice favoured his own countrymen more than he did the other, wherefore the English men could not abide him, nor allow him to be rector. D. Parkar, if he used no partiality, but spoke uprightly, surely he was worthy to be commended. D. Morice said he to me (being then at Milan in his house) is appointed rector of the English Seminary, but he is so proud and stately, that he rideth in a Wagon, as though he were a prince, and causeth the English scholars to follow him all a long, aloof, a far of.  
While he thus rangeth and wandereth abroad, the English scholars are sure to far hard: but the Welshmen will not be so used. Master Morice (say they) is our countruman, and therefore we will far of the best: and surely so they did, as I understood by their own confession. For they had the best chambers, the best apparel and the best commons: for the cook was a welshman, the keeper of the wine seller was a welshman, & all were welshmen that had any office: so that they could control the other scholars at their pleasure. And when any english scholar made suit to be of the College, he would ask him with a grim countenance from whence he came, and what was the cause of his coming: then he would tell him that there came more wandering fugitives out of england then out of Wales. But if he understood there came a welsh man, he would receive him very courteously and entertain him joyfully, and so would his countrymen take him by the fist, with many congratulations. O proud uncharitable wretches, what distinction make you of Wales and England, that there should breed in your poisoned breasts, such cankered malice towards them that be of your own crew, and superstitious sect of popery. This Morris the welshman never loved them that were borne in England, for proof whereof I will bring his own slanderous reports, which I have heard with mine ears uttered from his own mouth, even to his countrymen. The englishmen (said he) are proud and ambitious bragger's, and they are slanderers of our nation. If he had said, both we welshmen, and you englishmen are high minded, full of envy, bragging and standering one of another, I would have holden with him: but seeing he sought to clear himself, and his own countrymen, in shifting their faults from themselves to the englishmen, I commend not his charity. He would say often, that the english papists were plain hypocrites, and had no more religion (to use his own terms) than a dog: that they sought for vainglory, and a name of holiness. And so they did doubtless, and so did his own countrymen too, albeit he spoke nothing against them, as hereafter in the sequel of this chapter most manifestly shall appear, to the view of England. I will speak the truth for both, I will not spare to discover the malice and hypocrisy of the one and the other, I will not be partial, neither shall affection draw me to display the offences of the one, and keep in silence the enormities of the other: but with an upright conscience and an equal mind I will write of them both, as well of welshmen as of Englishmen, as the truth shall give place. They never came to dinner or supper without jarring & brawling one with the other, they used such ignominious names the one to the other, as I am loath to rehearse for Civility sake. I am a Gentleman quoth the one: thou art a rascal, quoth the other. The welshman beginneth to fret and fume, and saith, albeit I came to Rome with broken & rend apparel, yet I am borne of as good blood as thou art: stop there quoth the other: nay, I tell thee plainly I am as good a Gentleman as thou art: where sir, quoth the Englishman, in Wales I trow. For if a man of your country, be able to spend forty groats a year, and pay thirty to the Queen, he is a Gentleman of Wales. Then chafed the other, and said, there are as good gentlemen in Wales, as in any place of England. Before you came out of Saxony, and conquered this ancient Island of Britan, now named England by the trains of your subtlety, we Welshmen ruled the coasts of England: but now being vanquished through your policy, we are driven to Wales. Oh devilish minds to conceive such wicked and ungodly thoughts: the Englishmen not able to abide such malicious reproaches, called them vacabounds, variets, and beggarly rascals, horsestealers, stealers of kine and orens. The Englishmen would abuse them with quips, scoffs, and mows, that my mind is troubled sore to remember and put in writing the uncharitableness, and mutual dissension of both countrymen, English and Welshmen. At last D. Morice brought all the English students before Cardinal Morone, and complained of them very uncharitably, and said they would be ruled by no advertisements or exhortations which he used as he said, to have them reconciled to the Welshmen, and to be contented to live orderly and peaceably the one with the other. He moved the Cardinal of their dissolute living, and unorderly behaviour in the City of Rome. Whose complaints were of such force with the Cardinal, that they were charged to departed the College, and to get them packing out of the City. This charge being given to D. Morice, that they should no longer remain in the College, Morris warned the English-students to departed, and kept his own Country birds with him, to solace and comfort himself with their company. Then the Englishmen took their scrips and bottles, & went to an englishman's house that was married, to dinner: and after dinner, as far as I remember, they had access unto the Pope, and the Pope having heard before (I know not by whom) how unruly they were, asked the English students, assoon as he saw them, how chance they went not out of the City. For (said he) the gates of Rome are open, & you may departed out of the City when you will, no man shall let you. Then said the English students, if your holiness command us to forsake the City, we will and must obey your holiness commandment: but this we tell your holiness, that we are come hither to Rome for conscience: sake, and for refuge. Hitherto your holiness hath sustained our need, but if now (we know not for what offence) we be banished the holy City of Rome, we shallbe the most unfortunate men living. For to our own Country we dare not return, being alienated and severed from their religion, and whither we may go (most holy father) we know not, we have neither lands, nor money to maintain our wretched state: oh holy father have compassion upon us, and forsake us not utterly, seeing we are ready to suffer martyrdom for your holiness sake, and that by our death your authority shall be enlarged, your power increased, and your kingdom enriched. We are yours (holy father) both bodies and souls, by our life to do your holiness obedient service, and by our death to do you holiness honour. Therefore (holy father) receive us again (we beseech your holiness) to favour and grace, and we shall from henceforth give your holiness no occasion of indignation or displeasure against us. The Pope having understood before, the cause of their dissension with the welshmen asked why they would not be ruled by their Rector D. Morice, they answered, because D. Morice favoured his own Countrymen more than them, being englishmen borne. The Pope being persuaded by D. Lewis his Suffragan, the if he should not maintain the englishmen, they would then return to england, and revolt from papistry, and deny him to be Peter's successor and Christ's vicar here on earth, and fearing the recantation and backsliding of his scholars▪ from him assented to their request, and their petition was to have the jesuits to be their superiors, so that as they requested it came to pass. Then the Pope caused one of his chamberlains to place them in the college again. D. Morice was removed from thence to be provider of the english hospital, and father Alphonsus an Italian jesuite in D. Morice time of his rectorship, confessor, was chosen to be the rector of the english seminary. Father Ferdinando a Neapolitan was chosen to be master of the students and so now eight jesuits have the rule of the english seminary. And since the jesuits came to bear office in that seminary, at the request of the english students there were two welshmen put out of the college, who as yet remain in the City, and live as the Pope's pensioners, much better than they did in the College, because there was such enmity and serpentine hatred between one country man and another. And because I perceived that the holy fathers the jesuits used partiality, and blind affection, to the one country more than to the other, full often I attempted to escape out of the city secretly, and could not, for that fear kept me back. I went to the Rector very often to ask him leave to depart to Rheines, there to be made priest, and to study out my course in divinity. But where as it is written, I was put out of the College, as non proficiens, how can that be? For they could not put me out of the College, if I had been such a one as he maliciously feigneth me to be: because I was half a year in probation. And if I had been non proficiens, the laws of the college, were such that then the Rector should have warned me to forsake the college. But it came not so to pass, for I stayd there afterwards, somewhat more than a twelvemonth I am sure, & I was in that College in probation, well near the space of two years: and with much ado I got leave of the Rector, and the Pope, to go to Rheines, as it is said in my book of recantation, etc. Now, to proceed farther in the narration of the dissension of the students of the English Seminary, there is such backbiting amongst them) such slandering, such mocking, such railing and reviling the one of the other, that their college may well he named a Seminary of dissension, a Seminary of hypocrisy, a Seminary of pride, a Seminary of treachery, and a Seminary of all mischief. They have conceived such an inward grudge one towards an other, they are so stiff necked, so wayward, and so crabbed, that seldom or never they will be reclaimed. Assoon as they have received the idol of the Mass, and are gone out of the Church, they fall out for some odd trifle or other, and use such reproachful words one to another, that it is rather a Hell then a house, a place of dissension than a seminary of godliness. When they come to confession, they kneel down before a picture, and there look as though they came to Tyburn: they bend their eyes towards the ground, their faults are so many, that they are ashamed to look up to the heavens, and there they tell the Priest one venial sin or other, for mortal sin they never commit (as they say, and as the jesuits report of them. Such like faults as these they tell their confessor, that they neglected to come to dinner at the first toll of the Bell, or else left their beads behind, or came too late to associate his fellows to the school, or rose tardy to meditation. These faults are counted venial, but as for mortal sins, they never commit any, for than they should lose the name of holiness, and the jesuits should be much discommended, to suffer them to offend mortally. The students must be counted as holy as the jesuits, for that these holy fathers are appointed by our most holy father the Pope, to train up the Students in all virtue and godliness. The jesuits cannot abide to hear that they have sinned mortally, ever since they became members of that society of jesus. Amongst the students of the English Seminary, & the jesuits their overseers, it is a venial sin to go to the Bordello, I mean the Stews secretly, they make it no mortal sin. I could name some of the scholars, that in resorting to those places got the French pocks, but their names, unless I be called to question, I will bury in the pit of silence. When the scholars come to receive the idol of the Mass, they look down so sad as may be, some weep, and some receive it gaping and knocking of their breasts, with such sighing and sorrowful looks, as though they should swallow up a Toad or a Frog. And when the Priest is at the elevation, they begin to knock their breasts apace, & to kiss the ground, crying signiore mio, that the Italians may understand their holiness. When the Priest departeth from the altar, they touch his masking garments, and then put their hands to their mouths. They think there proceedeth some virtue from the priests Cope, and when they put their hand to their mouth, that the holy Ghost entereth into their bodies. There they kneel after Mass is said, rattling their beads, as though they meant to awake our blessed Lady (being fast asleep) with the noise thereof. They are as busy in counting their beads, as any usurer in summing his money, so they go from image to image, with kissing, bowing, & kneeling before them. But when they come from the Church, all that show of holiness is quite forgotten, the one be ginneth to praise himself for his virtue, & is not ashamed to say that assoon as he received the body (as he termeth it) of the Lord, he felt the holy Ghost suggesting & prompting him to say over his beads. The other beginneth likewise to extol himself: I have said (saith he) so many Pater nosters, and so many creeds, so many ave Maries, & so many Psalms of our Lady, only by the suggestion of the holy Ghost. By and by after, they will hold a Parliament how all things shall be ordered in England, than they will begin to name who are favourers of their side, and what jolly champions they be: Oh (say they) if these were dead, it would be a happy world, with us: or if these were received to the bosom of our holy mother the Church, than we should be blessed, and have our heart's desire. These are the men of whom they talk so often, my L. of B. my L. of L. my L. T. my L. of H. Sir F. W. S. F. K. S. I. of C. Sir W. M. with divers others, to whom God grant many joyful years, with health both of body and soul: I hope they shall never see that golden day, that day of Jubilee.  
God prosper the reign of our sovereign Lady Queen Elizabeth, and make her an old woman in Israel: God defend her from all dissembling Papists. Now to come again to our English students, the Pope's scholars, they are ready to fall down to painted walls, and fair Sepulchres full of rotten bones: they are Saints in the sight of men, and Devils inwardly. They hunt for vain glory, and lightly regard the portion of the godly in the kingdom of God. They are devout in visiting holy places (as they term them) and in going to Stations: they think that all their sins are forgiven, if they mumble up a few prayers in a covert tongue, before a dumb idol, and a painted image clothed like a living creature. What vice soever they commit, if it be not against the Pope, nor against his proceedings, indulgentiam plenariam obtinebunt omnium suorum peccatorum. They shall be released of all their sins, be they never so monstrous and execrable: yea, & they shall deliver their parents out of Purgatory. I think a mouse will carry their souls to heaven, upon his back, or else Robin Redbreast, for greater expedition, will fly with their souls under his wings to heaven. They say it is unpossible for them to be out of favour with God, if the Pope love them, and grant them indulgence. Oh Rome, Rome, What a holy City art thou, in thee all men shall be saved that are rich, and will please thy ruler with frank gifts, and humble obedience done unto his holy reverence: his scholars are happy to be in his grace, and to dwell in his holy and more than holy City, the Pope will grant his scholars a free pardon of all their sins, live they never so wickedly, the Pope is their friend, and will give them heaven, which place Lucifer holdeth in possession. But when the Pope his trusty servant sendeth any of his well-willers thither, it is so large a room, that he prepareth such chambers for them, as are meet for their degrees: but if he will presume to send any of his acquaintance, or of his favourers, or of his disciples to the other heaven, where Christ reigneth perpetually: Saint Peter the porter of heaven gates will not suffer them to enter in, but will charge them to departed, for that the Pope usur p the seat of an Apostle, and saith, he is Saint Peter's Successor, whereas he followeth not Saint Peter in life, nor in doctrine.  Trisander. 
You have sufficiently declared the dissension of the College, now I pray you speak somewhat of the orders thereof.  Theophilactus. 
That will I do gladly to pleasure you, if I may therein. First, they must rise early in the morning, assoon as they have heard the second sound of the Bell. For the first sound is for the jesuits, to rise and fall down on their marrowbones, and fall to contemplation. The second sound of the Bell is for the jesuits, to cease from meditation &, for the scholars to rise up to roll their beads, after the manner of a piece of cloth: then to kneel down to contemplation for one hour space, and when the Bell hath roung again, to rise up from contemplation, and to hear Mass, and Mass being ended to repair to their chambers, and there to abide until the Bell warneth them to the schools. First the divines scholastical and positive, than the philosophers and logicians, and afterwards the rhetoricians and grammarians. One form after another, at divers and several ringing of the bell, goeth to hear the public lectures of the schools of Rome: and when they are come home from the schools, than one or other ringeth the bell to washing of hands, over one of the Towels, which are there to wipe their hands therewith there is written, pro sacerdotibus, no scholar dareth to wipe his hands therewith. Than one ringeth the bell to dinner, and one of the priests is appointed by father minister a jesuite, to say grace, and grace is said in latin, and during dinner time, one of the scholars, who is appointed for that weak, ascendeth and goeth up to the pulpit, which standeth in the lower end of the refectory or haul, and there-hée readeth one history or other, and afterwards the Martyrologue. But if any of the scholars have committed some venial sin, as they term it, than he pronounceth his fault, and enjoineth such penance as is specified by the superiors or written in his schedule, or piece of paper & assoon as he hath done reading, he cometh down, & immediately after wards, one or other ringeth the bell, & then they rise up from dinner to recreation, & their talk is of England, wishing & hoping the subversion thereof, they had rather that aliens and strangers did rule the land. And that I lie not, he that is reconciled to the verity of the Gospel, and to the concord of the reformed Church, may bear testimony (for this man was in my time in the English Seminary, and visited a scholar, once lying sick in his bed) which scholar died within a while after. There were five or six scholars, with the Neapolitan Priest, and a jesuite then being of the English Seminary, now reader of Philosophy in the common schools: these perfect scholars talked of the Spanish Navy, of D. Nicholas Saunders then Captain general over the soldiers which came out of Spain with him, they hoped (said they) to see the Mass openly advanced in England, for (say they) we had rather have the Queen of Scots, or the King of Spain to govern the land, then our gracious Queen Elizabeth, whom God defend, for his glory sake, and the maintenance of true religion. When I heard these unnatural words pronounced of unnatural subjects towards their natural sovereign, and Country: I could no longer forbear to speak somewhat after this manner, against these most malicious and bloody wishings. Though (said I) being then moreinclined to superstition, than otherwise, the religion of our Queen & Country differeth from the Catholic faith, yet do I not read in God's word, that it is lawful for us to wish the death of our natural Princess, the overthrow of our loving Country, wherein we were borne. We ought say they (as we may read in the scripture) heartily to pray unto God for the happy conversion of our Queen and country to the faith of the Romans. Oh (say they) we had rather have our parents and friends burned to ashes, then that they should renounce the profession of the faith of Rome: but God sendeth a shrewd cow short horns. Nevertheless, our hope and confidence is in the Lord of hosts, that the wished day of theirs shall never come to pass: if the event of all things should happen according to their wished mind, they would not spare to imbrue their guilty hands in the innocent blood of their parents and kinsfolk, that should boldly and constantly confess Christ to be the invisible head of the Church, and not the Pope. Father Ferdinando commended their villainous and Devilish wishes. For brevities sake, I omit to delate upon their tir amnous doings, desires, and demands. Now I proceed to certify the courteous Reader of their manner of penance. If any had committed some fault by negligence or through disobedience, or contrariwise, he hath penance enjoined him according to the quality of the crime. As if he cometh to late to acompany his fellow to the schools, than he is commanded to stand at dinner or supper, until the rector biddeth him sit down. If any other rose somewhat too late to contemplation, he is charged to lie prostrate on the ground upon some coverlet or blanket, and there he lieth on his back, until father Reetour, or father Minister, in the rectors absence willeth him to rise up. Some for not coming to church, some for neglecting the hearing of exhortations, some for passing by any jesuits, some for one fault, and some for another receive diverse penances. Some hold their fingers in their mouths in the middle of the haul, some are forbidden to drink, some have not their antepast their first dish of meat, or of fruits, or of roots: some of their post-past their after dish, either of fruits or cheese. And thus much in brevity fouching their manner of penances. Every one hath his bed alone, for fear of the abominable act of Sodomy, which is usual at Rome amongst all forts of people. And a little before midnight, one of the jesuits cometh to the scholars Chambers, to see what rule they keep, and whether every one be in his own bed. The scholars, both in winter and summer, wear two gowns, the one upon the other, and a doublet, and brieches in summer: but in winter, they have warmer apparel. Every week they are bound to say over their beads, for the Pope's health, and his flourishing prosperity: and for the whole college of the the princely & Majestical Cardinals. The first time that I came to the English Seminary, father rector asked if I had any holy beads, I told him no: the next day the rector gave me a pair of beads, and warned me diligently and affectionately to pray incessantly for our patron the Popes holiness, as he termed it. I will (said I) say over my beads as well as I may: but I could not tell what to do with my swapping beads, unless to fray away dogs. For I could better number the beads severally, than say my prayers on them. I never learned to use my beads, but contented myself with my little primer book, and when I lost them, I never sought any other.  
I was complained of to the rector, for that I regarded no better the devils guts. To proceed further, to write of the orders of the english seminary, I think it not amiss once a month, every student hath given him the name of some Saint, whom for that month he taketh to be his patron and defender to him, he directeth his prayers, and supplications, as to God himself. In that little fragment of paper is written, to what purpose he shall pray, as for the Pope's health and long life, that he may see revengement done upon princes, who are favourers of the reformed religion, that he may subdue all countries fallen from him under his servile subjection. They pray for the Queen of Scots, that she may be restored to her former dignity, that she may attain to the Crown of England, establish the Romish religion, and set abroach the Pope's supremacy. They pray for the prosperous success of D. Nicholas Saunders proceedings in Yreland. I think the saints, to whom they prayed were fast asleep, and heard not their prayers, or else their minds were over much troubled with she prayers of other men, so that they could not bend down their ears to them, most heartily beseeching their divine graces so fight with Saunders, disloyal to his sovereign, false to his Country, and enemy to the truth. They prayed that certain hollow hearted papists, of great countenance, & high reputation, should make an insurrection, and join all their powers, mights, and forces to assist and aid the rebellious caitiff and wickedly disposed wretch D. Saunders, captain general of a company of rakehells, and blood suckers. He that hath defended both our Queen and Country from all maltgnant devices & treachiries, wrought & attempted by disloyal and unnatural subjects, I hope (of his free mercy and bounty, and not for any of our deserts) shall continue and preserve the royal estate and dignity of our gracious Queen and the desired welfare of this worthy English Island.  
Lushe, we Christians set not a rush by all the students ungodly prayers, what evil they wish to their native soil, the same evil chanceth to themselves: they prayed earnestly, seriously, and as a man would think by their outward show, and by the often moving of their lips, very devoutly: theyprayed, but their prayers took no place, the victory redounded to the praise of the Christians, and to the shame of the Papists. D. Nicholas Saunders was glad to run away, and leave his soldiers to abide the endless woe of unfortunate destiny. One pair of feet were better than two pair of hands to D. Saunders, and his adherents. Oh how vainly did the Students pray, that he, for whom they prayed, should abide such loss of his soldiers, and such infamy, with well near the hazard of the rope, that it had been better for the English Students to have healed their peace, and not to have wearied their brains, with unlawful invocation of the help of saints. For sometimes the saints are wont (belike) to take their recreation, solace, and pleasure being overwearied with the continual suits and supplications of fantastical, and busy headed Papists. Thus much for this matter, and this I add by the way. Examine the state of thy religion, oh thou papist, how it began with cruelty, is nourished with tyranny, and defended with forged fables of lying spirits: whereas the christian religion took her beginning by lenity, was maintained with sincere and perfect simplicity, and is as yet sustained with genilenesse, mildness, and amity. If any be gone out of the pathway of faith, we exhort him brotherly and friendly to forsake his error, and to become a reformed man. These means the Papists despise: by threatenings and violence they seek to enforce Christians to their pretenced religion, invented of man, through the malice of our ancient adversary the subtle Serpent, that deceived Eve in the Garden of all pleasures and delights. Every Saints evening, some of the Students are appointed to cover their body's au● their faces with sackcloth, and come to the common haule, whiles their fellows be at supper, and there to whip themselves, so long, that some of their backs shall be altogether bloody. Some lay the strokes on their backs very softly, some make their whipcordes not to smart, and these fellows will come forth, when the rector hath knocked his fingers on the board, and say, Oh what a good saint was he, whose feast we celebrate to morrow. I whipped myself with joy, to remember the good deeds of this celestial saint. Oh (said he) and took a deep sigh from the soles of his feet, my back acheth, I think it be altogether bloody. Well, no force, I will once again, for the saints sake whom I serve, whip myself. And then he goeth to his chamber, and in the dark he layeth on his gown, & not his back which such mighty strokes, that if his gown could speak it would bid him hold his hands. When he hath done beating his gown in stead of his back, he cometh down to his fellows, and saith: I will mortify this proud flesh of mine. For if I suffered but half the grief and sorrows that this saint Agnes, or saint Lucia, or saint Bridget, or any other saint did, I were not able to abide it: but yet I will not spare my back, for my saints sake. If he had said: I will not spare my gown in the dark, he had told the truth. Every chamber hath one saint or other to be patron or patroness thereof, as one Chamber hath S. Katherine of Stenna, another hath our Lady the virgin Marie, and another saint Gregory, and another saint Peter, and such like Saint hath every chamber, to keep the same: and every chamber is called according to the name of the saint. As for example, one Chamber is named saint Peter's chamber, and another our Lady's chamber, and another saint Gregory's chamber, etc.  Trisander. 
Have the Students once every fortnight days of recreation?  Theophilactus. 
Yes they have once a fortnight a day to recreate themselves, and the rector provideth vineyards for them, for their recreation, and there they practise Marshal feats. The one taketh upon him to be the chief leader of the camp, and some become Captains, as Divines: and all the rest are soldiers. Sometimes they fight with the canes of reeds in sport, but at the end of the skirmish they fall out by the ears in earnest. The jesuits are glad sometimes to come and part them, lest they grievously hurt each one another. Twice a year there are priests sent from Rome and Rheims, to england, at Michaelmas & at Easter, and assoon as they are arrived in England, they have their patrons to maintain them. some go like serving men, some like gentlemen, and some like countrymen. There go from both places, I mean Rome and Rheims, about the number of twenty priests. We may see what untrue subjects there be in England, to maintain such a seditious brood of pestilent shavelings. If they were all loyal subjects, there should not be one mass priest in England: but seeing they are most delicately nourished, and most bravely maintained in apparel. What pass they for Christianity, and true religion. Amongst the Christians of the reformed Church, it is but in vain to hope for such delicate feeding, and gorgeous raiments. These Epicures the papists, perceive very well and often speak thereof, how bare and poor the Christian Clergy is, how it is pouled and peeled by Gentlemen, Esquires, Knights, and others: we shall shortly (say they) see the spiritual livings joined to the temporal, sir john lack latin shall be master Parson to serve the parish, and the patron of the benefice shall reap the commodity. If the benefice be worth threescore pounds a year, sir john shall have twenty or scarce that: if it be worth more, the patron of the benefice hath the greater profit, and sir john lack latin not a whit the better. And when these popish priests are apprehended, some had rather wilfully wear Story's Tippet, then yield to the truth. They know their names shall be celebrated as the names of Saints, amongst the viperous Progeny of wicked papists. They know moreover, that their apparel shall be adored and worshipped, if it may be bought or gotten of the Papists: their bodies also should be holy relics in the Pharisaical synagogue of Papists, if they could come by them, by some secret means. Thus have I briefly, and without prolixity of words, declared the dissension and discord of the Students amongst themselves. I have written also of the orders of the English Seminary at Rome, I have showed how unnatural the Students be to their natural & merciful princess, to rail upon her majesty in their sermons, & revile her which reproachful words: I have showed likewise how much hurt they wish to their country, I mean England. For they had rather it were destroyed with fire, sword, and famine, then if should continue in the truth of Christian religion. Now the Christian reader may easily understand, what cruelty they would practise upon their own Country men, if power and strength were correspondent to their satanical desires. God hath weakened the might of our adversaries, and I hope will hold it enfeebled continually. Let the Pope's scholars, and all other papists wish what tyranny they list to be used upon England, it will not be as they desire: but it will be as it pleaseth the Lord. If persecution and misery fall upon England, it is for the sins of England and not for that they reject the Pope's authority, and his forged religion. This English Seminary hath four thousand Crowns a year for the maintenance thereof. There was great suit made unto the Pope, before he would grant any exhibition for the maintenance of any number of scholars at Rome. There was an English Lady that wrote unto him about it, and many Doctors, besides other Englishmen of some worship and credit. Doctor Allen, the chiefest scholar of an English man that is beyond the Seas, and precedent of the English Seminary at Rheims, came a foot to Rome, and was glad within these seven years, to have been Thomas Beckettes Chapilan, and to receive four crowns a month, to buy him meat, drink, and cloth. His favour then with the Pope was very small, but yet he could not get this poor living, for that Doctor Morice, being a malicious, and envious man, who under Cardinal Morone had the preferring of him there unto, denied it him, partly for that he was an English man, and partly fearing lest that by such means, by little and little, he should come in favour with the Pope as well as he.  
At the first the Pope was entreated to give exhibition for six scholars, secondly he was persuaded to maintain fourteen, and by little and little the number is grown to threescore. So that in Rheims he maintaineth fourscore, and eight. But our English Gentlemen, (as I have heard D. allen report to the Rector of the English Seminary at Rome) supplieth the want of that College with sevenscore pounds at a time.  
I Have now (Gentle Reader) put in writing the dissension and orders of the English Seminary, and have written so truly whatsoever I have heard and seen, that my adversaries (except they have an impudent face) can say nothing to the contrary. And yet I have not written all the disorders of that College, but leave that for another time, when occasion shall better serve. In all this book I have feigned nothing, neither emptied my gall, neither spoke I any thing of hatred or favour to any man, God (the judge of all men) is my witness. But I have written thus much to this end, that our cake holy Priests may not delude the people with the false praises of their feigned holiness. If proud, malicious, envious, slanderous, luxurious, and ambitious men, deserve to be counted virtuous, why then, the Pope's scholars are virtuous? For they are proud, malicious, envious, etc. For when they come on the saturdays to receive their shirts, the one saith to him that delivereth the shirts, come give me a good shirt, for a naughty shirt doth not become the beauty of my face very well. There will be sometime such contention amongst them, who shall have the fairest shirt, that it is a world's wonder to see it. One saith, I am of better complexion than he, another doth contrary him in his saying, oftentimes I have looked two or three hours for a shirt, and was loath to contend with any, for my beauty was burnt with the heat of the Sun, or (to say as it is) I never had any, and pass not it I never shall. There was one honoredin that college as a saint for his beauty's sake, but lo, now he is a carcase: I saw him dead, but so deformed, that I scarce knew him, albeit I used his company for a long tyme. Quid superbis terra & cinis? Why art thou proud thou earth and ashes? The Lord gave thee that beauty wherein thou so much gloriest, and within one hour will take it away at his pleasure, and leave thee an ugly sight to the beholders. Repent you that are the Pope's scholars, repent you of your pride, repent you of your Romish religion, repent you of your cankered malice both to Queen and Country, be humble, embrace the truth, be loyal to your Sovereign, and love your Country. God grant you may do so, for your own soul's health, Amen.   

The seventh Dialogue, Wherein is showed, that the Turks & jews by the Pope's licence, are permitted to have their synagogue in his usurped kingdom, & jurisdiction, & how he suffereth Courtesans in their filthiness, for a yearly tribute paid to his Treasure house, which tribute of theirs amounteth in the year to twenty thousand pounds.  The speakers are Trisander the Christian Pilgrim, and Merandulabasca, the Turkish Merchant, and Rabbi Diacothelah the crafty jewe. Trisander. 
seeing my friend Theophilactus is gone away from me, to look unto his business, I think it necessary for my comfort and greater ease to me in mine expenses, to join myself to the company of some trusty traveler, and pilgrim which intendeth to go to Madonna di Loreto.  
As he bethought himself in this wise, how to find a faithful friend in his journey, lo here he meeteth with a wealthy rich merchant Turk, that determineth to go to Ancona, a City not far from Madonna di Loreto, & this man understanding that Trisander wanted a companion, saith after this manner as followeth.  Merandulabasca. 
Your fair and clear complexion doth make manifest that you are an Englishman, your stature, behaviour, gesture, and apparel doth testify the same: are you not? What say you?  Trisander. 
I am an English man borne sir.  Merandulabasca. 
So I thought by your countenance, you were an English man, but whither are you bounding sir?  Trisander. 
To Madonna di Loreto to see what abuses are practised there. I pray sir let me be so bold with your patience, as to crave your name, and the Country wherein you were borne: and if it may please you to have my company to Ancona, I shall be hearty glad thereof.  Merandulabasca. 
I am glad I have met you, for I trust I shall find a trusty companion in all my journey to Ancona, unto the which City I purpose to go. And because you ask my name, and the Country wherein I was borne, I tell you, my name is Merandulabasca, by birth a Turk, and by profession a Mahometan.  Trisander. 
Bear with my rudeness Gentleman, I am loath to use your company, seeing you are no Christian.  Merandulabasca. 
Why sir, do you refuse my company, for that I am no Christian? Have you not read that Christ and his Disciples kept company with Publicans and sinners, and will not you imitate them? Accept my company, I pray you, and we will confer together of worldly matters, and not of religion.  Trisander. 
But how is it that the Pope doth permit you to traffic in his Country, being Turks his sworn enemies?  Merandulabasca. 
We pay yearly Tribute to the Pope for his permission, to use our merchandise in his kingdom, and for money the Pope will grant us whatsoever we request at his hands: and as for his subjects, they are so greedy of silver, that they sell us their own native Country men. The Inn keepers that are round about the Sea side, put up a Lantern with light in the top of a turret, for a watchword, unto our countrymen that are in little galleys roving near the Sea shore, expecting their prey. Thus very often in one night, they appre hende twenty, and sometimes thirty guests, that never premeditate of the treachery of their host, who selleth them to our Countrymen, for such a price as he and they can agree. And if our countrymen be taken, they are pardoned for a little money of the Pope. We have our synagogue by the Pope's sufferance.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
What Merandulabasca, what talk you of with this lusty Bentleman: and you Gentleman where were you borne?  Trisander. 
I am an Englishman borne Sir, and Master Merandulabascas talk and mine is of the Tribute of all his Countrymen that are within the Pope's dominion.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
That shaven Priest polleth us of more money than his neck is worth. He receiveth tribute for five thousand of us jews at Rome, and for as many at Ancona: but the more he rateth upon us, the busier we are to deceive his Priests: yea his Cardinals and Bishops, with our great usury, maintain their Concubines so brave & gallant, that sometimes the most of his Clergy are glad to crouch to us, for the lone of certain sums of money, which if they want, then must they forego the amiable countenance of their sweet peragons, and fine minions. And they had rather be deprined of their livings, then to be separated from their fair bedfellows. When they stand in need of our helps, than they begin with flattery, as a preparative medicine to mollify lifie the mind: and assoon as they have received that which they demand, they extol us for our virtuous charity, and say that we are sure to be the children of God, and to be justified by works of charity. We shall have the Popish Priests ready to do any thing that we request, if we give them money, they will not stick to say Mass for a stolen dog, as once it happened at Rome, Anno Dom. 1575. that Rabbi Solomon was méerily disposed, to deride the palpable error, and gross ignorance of the whafer Priests, in believing that Christ whom his countrymen the Hebrews have crucified, is in a little whafer cake, as really as he was on the Cross. Therefore he gave to a Romish Priest two julies' to say Mass for a Dog, which was lost. These shavelings will say Mass for a sick horse, to recover his health, if he may have a little money. They will do any thing that they may perform, if they be rewarded. We have a licence of the Pope, to have our Synagogue, and such service, & Ceremonies as our Forefathers the Hebrews used.  Trisander. 
The Pope hath his kingdom here in this world, here is his joy, pleasure, riches, and honour, seeing he may not hope for the fruition of the kingdom of heaven, heavenly joys, celestial pleasures, and eternal happiness. It is no marvel though he setteth so much store by silver and gold, the more treasure he getteth, the greater his dignity increaseth, and the larger possessions, and revenues his Bastards are like to obtain.  Merandulabasca. 
Seeing you said you were loath to travel in my company as far as Ancona, I must therefore bid you farewell, and provide me another companion.  Trisander. 
Do so, and far you well.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
Adieu courteous Gentleman, do you lack my friendship to the Pope in your behalf, tell me, and you shall find me ready if you will promise to recompense my pains.  Trisander. 
Adieu I say to you also, and if you will get me the Pope's Cope, and his triple crown, you shall do me a great pleasure, and I will give you an hundred crowns for your pains.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
His Cope, and triple crown, I am sure I cannot have, to give you: but if you lack his blessing, or will have a dispensation to live as you list, without danger of Hell, to marry whom you will, your cozen, your niece, or whom you fancy best, yea if the same be your mother in law, if you get a dispensation once, what sins soever you commit, shall be forgiven and forgotten of God, if the Pope's dispensation be true. If you have committed murder, or any other crime as wicked: for a little money I will get you your pardon of the Pope for he is Christ.  Trisan. 
I had rather the Pope should curse then bless, his dispensation and pardon can do me no good, the Lord of heaven and earth is he that can pardon mine offences, and not the Pope, who is but a lump of clay, to day rejoicing and laughing in his sleeve, to morrow wallowing in Hell, in sorrows, pains, and torments: now a mighty Potentate, a worldly Monarch, a pretenced Apostle, and a stately chief Priest: to morrow an abject, forsaken of all men, worms meat, and a stinking carcase, whose soul shall be carried to Hell, there to be tormented with endless woe, misery, and calamity, both for his own sins, and the sins of others, that have been perverted by him.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
I perceive by your words, that you regard his riches but not the power and authority which Christ your Messiah hath given him.  Trisander 
Christ our Saviour hath given him no such power or authority, as he arrogantly claimeth, and fasty challengeth to himself. He is an adversary to Christ, a corrupter of his word, and a persecutor of his Saints: from his tyranny, and from his idolatrous and superstitious religion, Good Lord deliver us.  Rabbi Diacothelah. 
Once again, I bid you farewell, and I thank you for our courteous communication.  Trisander. 
If your business be such that you may no longer tarry, why then adieu, and I thank you for your talk.  
If I should speak of the abominable practices of Rome, by way of discourse, this little treatise should grow to a huge volume,: and therefore at this time, as not having sufficient opportunity, I surcease. I need not to write (for that I know the world is certified of such matters already) of the sins of the Papists. There is not one City of any account in Italy, especially of any that I have traveled unto, or could hear of, but hath a brothel house. These naughty women are so void of grace, and honesty, that as men pass the streets, they seek with flattering words to allure them to come to their chambers, they sit all day in the open street with their clothes lifted up above their knees: how filthily and beastly they use themselves, openly in the view of all men that pass that way where they be harboured, modesty constraineth me to be silent. But by report of my Lord Alexander Cazalis chaplains, there are at Rome. above twenty thousand harlots, whose tribute is xx. thousand pound by the year, which the Pope receiveth from the Courtesans of Rome. Come to the Pope's court, when you list, at morning, at evening, at midday, or at midnight, you shall find Courtesans in one odd corner or other, with some bawdy Priest, or the Pope's man. He that will bend himself, but slightly to behold the dealings of the Papists at this day, shall perceive (even to the great horror of his mind) the small ability of well doing, that remaineth scant superficially rooted in the consciences of them: he shall see their wills so bend to evil actions, their wits so prone to ungodly inventions, their consciences so lose, wide and hypocritical, and their hearts so full of dissimulation and fraud: that alas even the very principles, as well practive, as speculative, are quite and clean forgotten, and the infallible doom of our conscience (which of the learned is called Synteresis) holdeth no place of terror amongst them. Reasons as well superior, as inferior, as well divine as civil, have no power to reclaim them. And (to conclude) even human mortality will not, cannot, nor (I fear) shall not withdraw them: so great is their liberty, so secure their lives, and so presumptuous their hearts, thoughts, and attempts. Chastity is exiled, and whooredom is maintained, nourished, practised, defended, and provoked by them. What are Nunneries, but brothel houses? what are Monasteries, but a receptacle of idle lubbers, and luxurious Epicures? live they never so dissolutely, the Pope will pardon them, the Cardinals will commend them. Amongst the religious men there is nullus ordo, amongst the Canons and Cardinals there is horror inhabitans: go round about Rome, and in every place, thou shalt see lechery and buggery, deccit and fraud in every corner and place. Five thousand jews are suffered to have their judaical ceremonies at Rome in their Synagogue: Turks shall live and have their service in his kingdom: but three or four godly Christians or preachers, may not be permitted freely to hear, or preach the word of God, as the jews are suffered to preach against Christ, and against his holy works. The Turk is not forbidden to shaw the law of Alcoran, and to preach of Mahomet: the Papists will answer, it is better to permit the jews and Turks to dwell amongst them, than Heretics that are seducers of the people. I demand of you Gentlemen Papists, do not the jews & Turks, what they may, to convert the people to their heresy? Yes no doubt, as by experience I have proved. I know the cause why the Christians are not suffered to have the breathing of the air amongst them. Christian's would not give the Pope so many pounds of money as the Turks and jews do, & moreover, he seeth the spirit of God is mighty in operation with the Christians, so that if but xx. preachers were suffered to preach throughout all Italy, the people would soon afterwards deny the Pope, they would doubtless take his crown even from his head, they would make him give over his haughty title of pretenced supremacy, and content himself with his own diocese.  
But keeping silence, I will here abruptly leave the Papists in their sin, and with hearty prayer commit their amendment to the will of our God: who for Christ's sake, and for his holy name sake, frame their hearts to more love of his truth, that his Gospel by them be no more hindered, nor the professors thereof hated, nor the sound of his word stopped, nor the hearers thereof afflicted or persecuted, which he grant for his sons sake jesus, our only mediator and advocate, to whom be all honour, glory, power, majesty, and dominion, for ever and ever, Amen.  
The end of the 7. Dialogue.   

The Papists objection to prove transubstantiation.  
In Queen Mary's time as there was in the North a priest at Mass, from heaven Christ fell into the chalice, he appeared like an unfeathered daw and cried gna, gna, was there not then in sight miraculously flesh, blood, and bones: Ergo, there is transubstantiation in the sacrament of the altar. Albeit this be not their objection, yet the like they have.   

The Solution.  
This miraculous Christ was a Daw that fell from the nest into the chalice, and belike the priest thought he had been very Christ, and that he spoke that which he could not understand, for gna, gna, was not in his mass book, nor he never was taught what it meant, but he thought that Christ willed him to eat him flesh, blood, and bones, and therefore the priest said, good lerde hold thy peace, and I will eat thee up all, and so he did eat his master Christ the Daw, flesh, blood, & bones. Surely I grant the wine was converted into an unfeathered daw, and there was then transubstantiation, and I counsel the Papists always to say mass under the nests of such daws, for the daws perceiving how weak the opinion of the Papists is touching transubstantiation, will not stick to spare them one of their unfeathered birds to fall into their chalice for a miraculous probation of their transubstantiation, and the people being as wise as the priest hearing the sound of the syllable gna, gna, thinketh there in the chalice to be Christ corporally, and sensibly, this report I received from a Gentleman in presence of three or four other persons, whither such an unfeathered foul fell into the chalice in Queen Mary's time, the priest being at Mass, I cannot tell, but I writ it as it was told me.  
Another pretty story was told me by a man here in London, of good reputation, & such a one as in Spain and Naples was persecuted for his Christian profession, in a town of Galizia, there was a german Merchant that as the idol of the Mass was carried in the streets, he neglected to kneel down, wherefore he was apprehended and put in prison, and bein● there, a Monk came unto him to perua●t him, but could not, the Monk aske● him if h●e could make a hundredth Duccates, this Dutch Marchante answered that he could make so much, why then said the Monk I will warrant thee thy life without denial of thy faith, but thou must do as I will tell thee, when thou comest before the Inquisitor, whatsoever he demandeth, say I would gladly learn. The Dutch merchant said, as I by you am instructed, so will I do, but my faith I will never godwilling renounce. The Monk went before the Inquisitor, and told him that he had conferred with this Dutch merchant, but with a verier fool he never talked.  
Therefore said this Monk, seeing I gather by his words that he is worth a hundredth Duccates, take what he hath and let him go to his country. The In quisitour was contented to take the money, and caused him to be sent for, who when he came was willed to say his pater noster, I would gladly learn said the Dutch merchant, did not I say the truth quoth the Monk that this man is a very fool, the Inquisitor bid him say his credo in Deum patrem, I would gladly learn quoth the Dutch merchant, the Inquisitor asked him why he kneeled not before the reverend Sacrament of the altar, than he said, that cost me a hundredth Duccates. I perceive now quoth the Inquisitor to the Monk that he is a very fool, well, go with him into his ship and receive the money. As the Monk & the Dutch merchant passed by a Church, the Monk stooped down, moving his hood and doing obeisance to the picture of Christ, & to the pictures of saint Francis, and saint Dominick, the Dutch merchant never touched his bonnet. Wherefore the Monk rebuked him, the dutch merchant asked to whom he should uncover his head, said the monk to the picture of christ, and to the pictures of saint Francis, and saint Dominicke. Truly said the Dutch merchant I was to blame for not putting off my bonnet, there is Christ in deed, for I heard tell that Christ was crucified between two thieves, and I think that saint Frances, & saint Dominicke were those thieves, this Dutch merchant paid to this Monk the hundredth Duccates, and gave the Monk a cloth gown.  

Grant Lord that none within this land  
no one that draweth breath.  
In heart disdain to cry God save  
our Queen Elizabeth.    


I Youth, when Fancy bore the sway,  
Within my peevish brain:  
And reasons lore by no means could,  
my wanton will restrain:  
My gadding mind did prick me forth,  
a Pilgrims life to prove:  
Whose golden shows, & vain delights,  
my senses then did moan.  
O mighty God which for us men,  
didst suffer on the cross,  
The painful pangs of bitter death,  
to save our souls from loss,  
I yield thee here most hearty thanks,  
in that thou dost vouchsafe,  
Of me most vile and sinful wretch,  
so great regard to have.  
Alas none ever had more cause,  
to magnify thy name,  
Then I, to whom thy mercies showed,  
do witness well the same.  
So many brunts of fretting foes,  
Who ever could withstand,  
If thou hadst not protected me,  
with thy most holy hand:  
A thousand times in shameful sort.  
my sinful life had ended,  
If by thy gracious goodness Lord,  
I had not been defended.  
In stinking pools of Popery,  
so deeply was I drowned,  
That none there was but thee alone,  
to set my foot on ground.  
When as the fiend had led my soul,  
even to the gates of hell,  
Thou calld'st me back, & dost me choose,  
in heaven with thee to dwell,  
Let furies now fret on their fill:  
let sathan rage's and roar,  
As long as thou art on my side,  
What need I care for more?   
God save our Queen Elizabeth, and grant her many years to reign with health, peace, and prosperity.  
God defend her honourable Counsel and guide them with his holy spirit in all their actions, the nobility, Bishops, Magistrates, and commons, their hearts good Lord, incline, to all goodness.   

The complaint of a sinner.  
LIke as the thief in prison cast,  
with woeful wailing moans,  
When hope of pardon clean is past,  
and sighs with dolelfull groans:  
So I a slave to sin,  
with sobs and many a tear,  
As one without thy help forlorn.  
before thy throne appear.  
O Lord, in rage of wanton youth,  
my follies did abound,  
And eke, since that I knew thy truth,  
my life hath been unfound.  
Alas I do confess,  
I see the perfect way,  
Yet frailty of my feeble flesh,  
doth make me run astray.  
Ay me, when that some good desire,  
would move me to do well,  
Affections fond make me retire,  
and cause me to rebel.  
I wake, yet am asleep.  
I see, yet still am blind,  
In ill I run with headlong race,  
In good I come behind.  
Lo thus in life I daily die,  
and dying shall not live,  
Unless thy mercy speedily,  
some succour to me give.  
I die O Lord, I die,  
If thou do me forsake,  
I shall be likened unto those,  
That fall into the lake.  
Yet though my hard and stony heart,  
be apt to run astray:  
Yet let thy goodness me convert.  
so shall I not decay:  
Sweet God do rule my plants,  
And shield me from annoy:  
Then my poor soul this life once past,  
shall rest with thee in joy.  
H. G. G.   
FINIS.  

¶ Imprinted at London at the three Cranes in the Vinetree by Thomas Dawson, for Thomas Butter, and Godfrey Isaac.  
1581.