THE SCOURGE OF Corruption. OR A CRAFTY KNAVE needs no Broker.  
Qui bene latuit, bene vixit.  
Dominatur fraus in omnibus.  
Written by ANTHONY NIXON.  
Printed at London, for Henry Gosson, and William Houlmes, and are to be sold at his shop in Popes-head Palace. 1615.   

TO THE WORTHY and judicious Gentleman, ROBERT GARSET Esquire.  
SIR, if you only look upon the Title of this little Book, you will (perhaps) marvel that I am so bold to make passage of it under your Name, it brings so harsh a name with it: But if you be pleased to look further into the substance, I hope you will give it a kind entertainment. For I have taken that course in it, not to be offensive to any. But if (through mistaking) some shall think themselves touched: it proceedeth rather from their own corruption, then plain meaning: and in this humble tender of my love unto you, I do but play the ill debtor, who knowing that he is scarce able to ensconce himself against beggary, yet goes wilfully into further dangers, in hope to find pity at the hands of his Creditors, trusting upon mitigation or forbearance, till he be better able to make satisfaction: Even so as I confess myself bound to you, for some benefits received; and being unable to make recompense I have adventured to cast myself into further peril; in hope to be relieved by your wont favour, and to have my boldness remitted by your generous respects, to which I wholly submit myself.  
For I set before your eyes a mixed banquet of sweet, and sour, mirth and mourning, Seria cum iocis. If it be not so good as you deserve, nor so rich as I could wish it, I must entreat you to blame the vanity of our times, which affoord● no better condimenta or seasonings: I know you love to read▪ for that you know to censure: Read then, as it is writ (willingly) and censure as it is sent (in love:) Bear with the hard favourdnesse of the Title: For Diamonds are not undervalued by their roughness when they are uncut. Nor can it be shame to gather a violet, though it grow close to the ground. As I have better, you shall enjoy it; Such as it is, if you be pleased to embrace it, I shall rest▪  
In the best of obseruantes devoted yours Anthony Nixon,   

THE SCOURGE of Corruption: OR, A crafty Knave needs no broker.  
Our English Chronicles have left in remembrance, that in the time of Henry the fourth there lived in sundry places of this Kingdom: but especially about the City of London, divers lewd persons, that gave themselves to no good course of life: but because the times were then somewhat troublesome, watched diligently, when by the least occasion of mutiny, they might pray upon the goods of honest persons, and so in rich themselves by their spoil. At the same time likewise there lived a worthy gentleman, whose many famous deeds (which neither time, nor occasion will permit me to rehearse) do renown his name to all ensuing Posterities. His name was Sir Richard Whittington, founder of Whittington College, and three times Lord Mayor of th● City of London? This worthy man well observing the dangerous disposition of that evil disposed kind of people, took such discreet order (after he had sent many of them to the wars, and they loath to do so well, returned to their former vomit) that in no place about London they might have entertainment, unless they applied themselves to such honest exercises, as might witness their maintenance by true and lawful means: If any were found to the contrary, they were sharply proceeded withal in justice, as most hurtful and dangerous members of a Commonwealth.  
Now in this most quiet, and happy time of Peace (under out most Excellent and Sovereign Head) when all men (in course of life) should show themselves thankful for so great a benefit, this famous City (ray the most part of the kingdom) is pestered with the like (or worse ki●d of people) that bear an outward show of honest disposition, when 
— front politus,  
Astutaem vapido servat sub pectore vulpem,   
Their intentions being in deed very dete●●able, and their behaviours infamous, who, as by many close and cunning practices, they do wrong, and injury to a multitude of people, to their several hurts and undoing: So, if God should in justice be angry with ●s, as our wickedness hath well deserved, and (which God forfend) our peace should be molested (as in former times) even as they did: So will these be the first that will seek our Domestical spoil and ruin: not skilling how they come by it, so they may have it.  
By reading therefore, and taking a slight survey of th●se four several personages, that from divers places lately presented themselves to my sight, in such antic attire, and variable carriages, that they set my senses at amazement, you shall see the subtle policy at four deceivers, and discover some of their abuses and corruptions. And this (as near as I can) is a true touch of their several Characters.  


The first is, Conscience.  
THe first carried the shape of a goodly old ●atherly Man, but it seemed he had been much wronged, for his cheeks were lean and bloodless, his eyes hollow, his looks (like his fortunes) down and deject, his apparel comely, but much torn, his bosom was bare, bloody, and full of wounds, his wrists and ankles worn (almost) to the bones, with bolts and manacles, so that I could not imagine, what he was: but that he had been an ancient wronged prisoner.   

The second, Simon Saywell.  
THe second both in plac●, and order, a proper man, but of a contrary garb and temper. His chéek● were plump, and re●, as a crammed pullet, and covered with red rose leaves, his looks cheerful, the sap of sherry sack, hung at his moustache: The top of his nose was signed over with the English malt, w●ich the Master of Copersmiths' Hall, had ta'en up to build almshouses in, for certain impotent and tradefalne worms, that pestered their company. The roof of his head to my remembrance not much unlike the property of Tyburn. Red strossers, and a blue codpiece guarded with yellow, like the jags of a Ia●kealents jerkin, his gown under one arm, within the folds of that a latin Psalter, cry him heartily mercy, 'twas a Pewter pot, for I should blame him to say he ever carried a piece of latin about him so much as in conceit. A pewter vessel 'twas, contained some quart, or birlady more: under one arm his Hostess talley. His gate was sprightly, his habit antic, and his gesture apish and pear●.   

The third, Feedwell.  
THe third a Country homespun Russeting, none of the fattest, and yet his Equinoctial or waste, was at least two else in compass: His face and beard comely, and not lean, either cheek about the muchness of a two penny Pompion, or a great Cabbage in September, covered over with red ochre, and (but I knew him to be fled out of England) I should have ta'en him for the God of good housekeeping. His apparel comely, and plain as a pike staff: His legs like Hercules pillars: His sides sagging over his girdle like an Amazonians dugs: His gate careless, and his looks not curious.   

The fourth, Nemo.  
THe fourth and last, was a thin snouted fellow, about the April of his years, for the spring was newly budding upon his upper lip: His face well proportioned, his complexion sallow, his attire so full of variety, put my memory into such a quandary, that I have almost lost it: But to my remembrance thus. His upper garment was a loose rob of changeable taffeta, sky coloured or somewhat more bright: which had such a reflecting glass, and was of so great a length, it covered and over shadowed all the rest. His pace was flow, which made me think him a Saturnist. His parsonage tall and comely, an observing eye, a sullen and ireful countenance: and still as I thought to take strict view of his attire, the colour of the robe so dazzled mine eyes, that I clean lost it: Some strange fellow I took him to be, and but that I held it unpossible, I should have thought him invisible: For he was but (as it were) a solid clown cut out in the fashion of a man. Thus having given you a touch of their several habits, as I can remember. I will grow to their form of discourse, in which you shall from their own mouths, be made acquainted with their names, and cause of meeting, and continued parley.    
Quoth goodman Feedwell, (for so they did call our fat Countryman): Goodman Conscience welcome from London: we have wanted your company in the Country many a day: you were witness to the lease my young Land lord made me, and want of your Evidence, that was in good estimation, now the young man is come to the living, I am like to sit beside my right, but now you are come home I hope all shall be well. Old father Conscience thanks him for his good conceit, and withal, fetched a heavy sigh: what's the matter man, quoth Sir Simon Saywell, (for so is our quartpot master called:) the worse for mine enemies, quoth the old man, from which number Sir Simon I cannot seclude you: for had your deeds been answerable to your name, at my being in London, I had not tasted this long imprisonment, during which I have not only spent my means, undergone discredit, being counted a Banckerout, and endangered my health: but had it not been for this virtuous gentleman, Signieur Nemo, that paid my Frées, field of mine irons, and at his own cost and charges bailed me, I had there set a period to my wretched life. Alas Sir (replied our Maltworme) it stood not in the reach of my ability to bail you. The some was 1000 pound, your adversary mighty, your friends sew, and those very poor: Besides he was my chiefest solliciter in all my suits at Court, and should I have displeased him, I might have hoped without my benefice. At that Signieur Nemo (for so was the fourth and last in the sky coloured robe called) folding his brow, as if in anger. Thou scum of humanity, and basest part of our mother Earth, hast thou the shape of a man, and art not ashamed to shape such a beastly answer? Suppose his adversary ●ere mighty▪ his cause was just. This poor man, out of his love to his Country, groaning under the yoke of your base and upstart Corruption, made their public grief, his private grievance: sold all his means, trudged up to London, and there soliciting the cause of the who●e Country, was by that Italian jack, (whom we may truly term a Crafty knave that needs no broker) wrongfully arrested, & clapped into prison, thou being by, sufferest him to be laid up, and not so much as offered to bail him.  
Alas Sir, quoth Saywell, I durst not, for one word of his mouth to my Patron, had casshierd me: Base time observing Sycophant, (answered Nemo) doth thy place authorize thee to reprove? to open the master vain of some? and sluice out the putrefied and corrupted sore, and hast thou the face to say, Thou darest not? Hence beastly man: but 'tis not thy fault, but theirs that countenance thy ignorance, fitter to cobble a shoe, then to undergo that calling: To which none but free Spirits, and undaunted souls should be chosen: But I have long hoped, and at last met that happy day, in which such idle and unnecessary snails that feed and devour the April leaves, and May blossoms of our Country, shall by the hand of justice be rooted out of the Land, or by the milder Eastern wind of mercy, blown forth the bosom of this peaceful I'll.  
That were a happy day indeed (answered father Feedwell) but I fear your news is like an old Book: Too good to be true, for there's a Crafty Italian gentleman (whose name is Corruption) keeps such leuel● co●le● here in our Country, we can have no ho with him, and t●●l there be some good order taken with him, you and ●uch honest gentlemen, may feed a sort of poor fools fat with good words, but we shall find small redress: But you are a traveler, I pray you tell us, how the goodyer he came to be so great in England?  
I'd fame know that (quoth Conscience) for in my time when I was but a stripling (and yet, young as I was, more regarded) he came into England, and offered his service to certain Men of good sort, but his course and behaviour was so insinuating and vile, he was banished the land against. Now I wonder what wind brought him in, after his first Exile.  
I'll tell you what I know (quoth Nemo) let all the mad dogs snarl, and bite their own galls, I neither fear them nor stand in awe of their greatness. This Crafty knave, (as if occasion serve there be many, that could diversly prove it) is a fellow of long continuance in this I'll, marry (as father Conscience intimates) he hath been so suppressed, and many times banished: but still by foreign devices he is réentred the Land, and at last (yet many hundredth years since) he grew so wealthy, and purchased such friends, that notwithstanding many virtuous Kings, and our late sacred Mistress, did their uttermost to the suppressing, and rooting out of that grounded damnation, the Nobilities abuser, the Plenty's oppressor, and poor men's confounder, yet hath he so many private maintainers, and harbourers, that in stead of disgracing and removing him, his state is stronger confirmed, and his friendships inaugurate in our hearts.  
I but (quoth Saywell) me thinks 'twere easily mended, for we have in every Town likely a good justice, a Counsellor, or Lawyer, were all of my mind, we would prefer our petitions to them.  
An● 〈…〉 ●he near (answered Nemo) but because I f●●d you 〈◊〉 in this Knaves true proceedings, ●●e t●ll y●u w●at I known, yet tempered with such modesty, as shall (I hope) offend none, that are honest, if it touch any of any other kind, let them think it a fault and amend. Those whom it concerns not, I know will commend me.  
You talk of preferring a supplication to your justices, and Lawyers, for their own parts no doubt, as they are bound both by allegiance and place, they will do you right, but th●●e is none or very few of th●se, into whose services, Corruption hath not secretly engrafted some Intellige●c●●, as all 〈◊〉, that by one salary, or another, will so mangle the true f●ce of your proceedings, that you shall fall short of your expectations. As that you seek to wound some honest man's credit out of hate: Or, for some inveterate grudge, se●ke the undoing of harmless gentlemen: Or if it be so aprarantlie manifest, that no colour can show it contrary: Why, he is my friend, Let me meditate: He hurts not you: Every one would live: Blame him not to raise his fortunes, Et caetera, quis nescit? So by this means justice that should raze and pluck up sin by the root, is either for kindred, love, affection, or oil of Angels blinded, and by his means made the bawd, and dorekeeper of villainy. If it be so, as it hath been so where Corruption dwelled, true justice will see it amended.  
I saith (quoth Sir Simon) this goes with me, I'll neither eat, nor drink, till our justice knows this? with all my heart (quoth Nemo) if he be one of that sort, i'll to his teeth tell him much more? if he be a true justice, i'll request him to see the aduse reform in others, and I doubt not but he will thank me.  
God's blessing of thy heart (quoth Conscience) we have few such as thou art in our Country: For when our meadows are enclosed, and our Commons made several by the Lord of the soil, we have not a Man in the Town dares say ●o to a goose. The reason is, we are poor, and they are rich, and one or two Term's suit at law, would eat up a whole township of us, poor snakes of the Country, Lawyers take such unmerciful fees, and use such protracting of causes, we can hold no tack with them. Again most of our oppressors, are either Lawyers themselves, or have Lawyers to their Sons, Nephews, or acquaintance, so that we had as good loose somewhat, as undo ourselves by law, and then loose that too.  
Lord (quoth Nemo) what is the reason that the world is at so bad a pass, we never had more teaching then is now adays: never more warnings, nor more laws established.  

Conscience. Whence comes it (say you) that the world begins when each hath caused an other to reprehend, to wink at follies, and to soothe up sins; and draw their days to disaster end? can better reason be alleged then this, The world soothes sin because it lives in sin.  

HE that doth live by bribes and usury,  
And fills his purse by such unlawful gain,  
Doth Foxlike wink at loathsome lechery,  
Till such harme-breeding pleasure prove his pain.  
Craft gives Ambition leave to play his plot,  
And cross his friend because he sounds him not.   

All men are willing worse and worse to grow,  
And worldlike lull themselves in vain delight:  
But no man pleasure takes his faults to know.  
Or to prevent mishap with true foresight:  
But he's a Trojan, he's an honest man  
That with the world dissemble will, and can.   

He that can cog and lie shall have rewards,  
He that to feign and flatter will not fear,  
He shall maintain his wanton wife in guards,  
And spend his master forty pounds a year:  
But truth's pursued by hate, and he's held wise,  
That to the world; his worldly wit applies.   

For folly is both guerdoned and respected,  
And self will frowns when friendship doth reprove,  
Where honesty is hated and rejected:  
For he that errs, and counsel doth not love,  
He thinks his best, an others wits but dull,  
Until at last he prove himself a gull.   

And with free heaps of mischievous intent,  
'Gainst wisdom doth rebel unbridled will,  
Which hurts himself, neglecting to prevent  
Unhappy hap, by trusting to selfeskill:  
But are such wise? ay, as Amplestus strong.  
That burned his face because his beard was long.   

The wicked man repines to hear his fault,  
And folly flings, if good advice come near:  
But he's best liked that with the world can halt,  
And with her imperfections best can bear:  
For cunning sin is deemed but a shift,  
And covetousness is held an honest thrift.   

If thou tell Shunes that his breath doth stink  
And dost not cog and say 'tis sweet, and clear,  
he'll let thee pass, and never bid thee drink,  
When as Amphidius shall have good cheer.  
For now who loves to play a worldlings part,  
Must teach his tongue refrain to tell his heart.   

Thus ●an with man strives to dissemble still,  
And wends from good to bad, from bad to worse,  
And to his own confusion follows ill,  
Shunning the seeing eye, not sinful course,  
Holding the mean to make him fortunate,  
Is in this world to wink at each estate.   

He is a fellow politic and rate,  
That with a seeming love can colour hate,  
Whose courtly kindness gives a Congee fair,  
When as he aims to overthrow a state.  
For most men now in private will defraud  
Them, that in public they do most applaud.    
Me thinks (answered Nemo) if abuses be so gross, so palpable, and so general; they should be complained off to the Prince. Much the better (quoth Conscience) our petitions go thorough so many hands, it is either lost, or torn, or comes to some of their friends hands, against whom it is preferred; then are we checked, called seditious knaves, and go home perhaps an hundred miles with a flea in our ear.  
I must confess (quoth Nemo) this hath been a fault, but fear not, we have now both a skilful and a painful gardener, that will not lay the whole care of weeding his kingdom upon others, but himself in person will hear; and if he find it true, root out those rank weeds, that have heretofore overshadowed, and with their broad and bushy tops, hindered the growth of other better & more wholesome herbs. God long maintain his health (quoth Conscience) that hath such care of his wronged Commons, and I beseech you stand our good friend, that this superfinitive gallant knave Corruption, grow not inward with those that are the means to that sacred majesty, that bears such a respective care over our Weal.  
I'll give you my word for that (quoth Nemo) for I know them so well tempered, that neither fear, nor love, gold, nor hate can stir and draw their affections from the true course of justice.  
Marry (quoth Feedewell) would we had one of those Gentlemen in our Country, for we have fellow● that by means of friends, as they say, keep the living of a whole Towneshippe in their hands, and they but get the Countenance of some Noble man on their backs, they are so proud, a poor man may not speak with them under a couple of Capons. For example sake, here's Sir Simon Saywel, no Clergy man, for he can neither write, nor read, and yet he hath at this hour three or four Parsonages in his own hands, the least of them worth forty or fifty pounds a year, and keeps honest poor Scholars to read under him, where he purses up some two hundred pounds for a long in a manner, and hires but a Preacher to make four sermons in a year. Now the poor men that take all the pains, are scarce allowed five pounds a year. I think some honest Gentleman like you Mr. Nemo, might do God good service to see these abuses reform, that Lay men should not bear such sway in the Church.  
Fear not (Father Conscience quoth he) gather a short note of all corruptions and abuses in their kind, against the next Term, and i'll have him known for a crafty knave, you shall hear how i'll handle both him, and his Appendices.  
I marry (quoth Feedewell) but while the grass grows, the steed star●es. But as I remember Sir Simons Mountchanking. I'll no● forget how a couple of Turuers served two kinsmen of mine the last Term, Attorneys thou wouldst say.  
I cannot tell how you call them, but I think they cannot have a ●●tter name than Turner's: for if we go to law once, be our cause good, or bad, they'll so turn and wind it, that we turn the bottom of our purses up, and find near a cross. And since you are so kind a gentleman, i'll not be meal mouthed to tell you a merry, yet a true tale.  

A merry tale how two Attorneys juggled together to fetch off their Clients.  
A couple of near kinsmen of mine, called Pigeons, went to Law, and fed their Attorneys: Either persuading their Clients their cause was good, and kept them so long in hope of had I wist, that they were fain to sell their horse to continue law for the bridle. To be short, one of the Brothers going to carry a couple of Capons to his Attorney to seek speedy dispatch of his suit, he told him that for a couple of Angels extraordinary, he would assure him of judgement on his side the next Court day: The poor man glad of that news went home, sold a couple of pretty heyfars to provide the money, and carried it home. His Attorney to manifest how forward he was in his behalf, writ a letter to his adversaries Attorney to entreat him the cause might come to present dispatch; and who should carry it but this Pigeon: well glad was he of his good success, and to the lawyer he goes; and by the way he proved exceeding drowsy, and fell a sleep: In his sleep he dreamt that he saw the two Attorneys drinking, and exceeding merry in a stately Gallery, and two tame doves came flying in at the Casement, hovering about them: And whilst they sat laughing the poor tame birds, flew about into the fields, and gardaines adjoining, and in their beaks, brought wheat, peass, and such grain, as by their industry they could find, and presented it to the lawyers, who still as they were gone for more, laughed at their folly: At last the poor birds being tired, would have eaten some of the grains they had brought: But the covetous Attorneys shouted then away, and (not able to bring any more) shut the casement. At their unkindness he awaked, and comparing the kindness of the two doves to his brother and him, thought it might be a Moral of their own folly: But then calling to mind his Attorneys promise, and hope of his suits dispatch, he began to check his rash judgement. Notwithstanding he concluded with himself to see the contents of the letter: with that unripping the seal, he began to read, and found the letter written to this effect▪ The nest of Pigeons are ripe; do but you pluck the one, and i'll pluck the other, and we'll not leave them a feather to their backs. This unexpected news struck the fellow into such a quandary, that for a good while he stood like a man parted from his senses, at last coming to himself, ●e began thus;  
Why how now Pigeon? are thy wits a woolgathering? hast thou been once scorched in the fire, and wilt thou still dally with the flame? No, though thy Attorney has built his nest with some of thy feathers, i'll reserve the rest to keep me warm. In this resolve, he laid his staff on his neck, and his hand under his side, and setting the best foot afore, homeward he went: whom should he meet by the way, but his brother, (betwixt whom this deadly feud was) who perceiving 'twas he, forsook the path, and crossed over the Fallows, and summer leas, as if some occasion of business had called him that way: but the other knowing the length of his foot by his own last, guest where his shoe pinched him, though he complained not, & though he knew him full of stomach, and that he had rather spend half his land, than any way come to agreement, yet he out of his brotherly affection determined a nearer cut to the matter: whereupon mending his p●ce, not in hope to have his wages mended (as the fellow saith) but with an intent to amend somewhat amiss, and set love where none was. Having overtook him in a green Lea, as he stood giving directions to his Reapers, he plucked him by the steed, and very kindly gave him the time of the day, and related unto him what had happened. He careless either of him, or his discourse, ere he had ended his ave, gave him the vale, and prepared to depart: but he not willing to give over so good an occasion in the plain field, seconded his first assault with the sight of the letter, which drove his brother into such a maze, that taking him by the hand, after pardon craved for his strangeness, he led him into a shady brake, where he told him the Lawyers proceeding from the beginning to the end: whereupon they determined to let the matter slip until the next Court day, to try if there were any regard of conscience, or respect of humanity in them. The Court day come, they attended from s●x in the morning, till eight at night, but as the proverb is, They ●ere early up, and near the near: whereupon they complained, and had brought it to this pass, they should both have been discarded, and pitched over the Bar for wranglers: but in the mean time, being (as it seemed they were) very inward with Seigneiour Corruption, that was Broker sufficient crafty to make good both his own, and others proceedings, he undertook their causes, and made them clear: the poor man had had words, and their labour for their pains, and the Lawyers in as great credit and estimation as before.  
At this Nemo interrupted him, and asked if the men were yet living? No, replied Conscience, they died long ago, but I fear me some of their lineage live to continue their hellish and uncharitable beginning. Nemo began to speak bitterly against the unmerciful proceedings of the Lawyers: but Conscience did thus interrupt him, Temper your anger good Seignieur Nemo, and let me speak impartially for all; Though I have had much wrong by Law, yet I condemn not altogether the professors, they are but the hoof and Iron feet that Bribery uses to tread upon the naked bosoms of poor resistless people: therefore to rail against them, were as if a dog should bite the sword he is strucken with, which of itself is altogether harmless: So are Lawyers like swords or staves wherewith bribery strikes the resistless Commonalty: For till he had a hand in buying and selling offices, the Lawyers both would and could have done mo●e for an Angel, than they can since with two. I have heard (and as I dare not affirm it for truth, so I cannot condemn it for a lie) that there are none (or at the least very few) O●fices beelonging to the Law, from, and out of which bribery doth not fetch some tribute & annual stripend. Hence than I gather bribery or corruption being the cause of oppression in that kind, his power being removed, it necessarily follows that the effect must die.  
Why then (quoth Nemo) it seems you envy not the honest gain of painful Lawyers? No, answered Conscience, I speak impartially: neither for love of the one, nor fear of the other. I pity the state of wellminded Lawyers, as much as any one, and grieve that ever I lived to see that malapert jack Corruption to have such a hand over them.   

How Corruption being once exiled this Kingdom, sent Emulation and Fashion to make way for him again.  

Then thus for Emulation.  
I'll tell you my poor opinion (answered Nemo) This crafty knave being expulsed this Kingdom, sent his insinuating children Emulation, and Fashion to make way for him, who intruding themselves by degrees into all societies, like toward imps to practise and effect his will that sent them. Emulation, he as he spies occasion, thrusts himself into the company of men of the better sort, and fills their heads with proclaimations, what a rare Lordship such an one hath purchased▪ what a sumtuous house another hath builded, and urges him to cast about ●or the like, intimating his means to be as great, his friends as many, and his hopes as possible.  
The well minded gentleman (before perhaps not dreaming of any such matter) lending an ear to his idle discourse, by his persuasions, determines to use all means to put his words in practice, and aske's his further advice in attaining it. He glad of that, joins with Occasion, tells him of Siegnior Bribery: by whose acquaintance and furtherance, he shall easily attain his purpose, marry it will cost him some few Angels, to buy his assistance. Being tickled with this news, he spares no cost to purchase his acquaintance, keepeth him close in his house, and gives him the best entertainment he can devise. Being once entered his society, he clean forgets the modern state of his Ancestors, and mak● his flight seven miles beyond the man i'th' Moon, and to maintain Corruption in his higher matters, uses him his precedent in lower; racks his poor tenants, raises his rents, and says he has made a Lease out to a poor man for three lives. Let but an other come, and give his wife a velvet Gown, his son a horse, or his daughter a Taffeta Petticoat, and himself an unreasonable sine, or income, and there shall be some unperfect clause found i'th' lease to colour, and face their practice, and the poor man (that perhaps sold all his means to purchase it, not two years before) shall by violence be thrust out, and lose all, I though his wife and children beg, he shall find no remorse but the Law, where he bids the poor man seek his redress. He knoweth that Bribery, whom he fees, will maintain his cause: and the poor oppressed man must either be glad to put finger in the eye, & live by the loss, or seeking redress, be clapped in Limbo patris, and after a twelve months imprisonment be injoind to ask his merciless Landlord forgiveness.  
I faith (quoth Feedewell) have they such tricks in their budgets? Well, you show directly the proceedings and effects of Emulation: and what way he makes for his Father Corruption his entrance into the Land. Now is his other son Fashion employed?   

By what ways Fashion the second son of Corruption makes entrance for his Father into this Kingdom.  
I'll tell you (quoth Nemo) and yet perhaps I shall purchase the ill will of a s●xe that I much reverence and honour. Fashion is second son to Corruption, borne (as I have read in Italy, nursed in France, and in his childhood brought over into England, by certain, more humorous then truly honourable gentlemen, and yet no enemies to his Father. Coming into England, being a very forward weed, according to the proverb, An ill weed grows a good speed: he was preferred to attend divers gentlewomen, with whom he proceeded as his elder brother had done with their husbands, though by an other course. After by his dutiful service, he had engrafted himself into their good opinions, he began to discourse of the strange and rare fashions used in his Country. As if a gentlewoman were borne with hair as black as jest, he could by Art frustrate the workmanship of Nature, and colour it as yellow as gold: if time (enemy to beauty) had by continuance writ down his characters of age in their foreheads, he could by the means of Art help, and make good that defect: make a brow of sixty, as smooth, and able to show, as one of sixteen. On him attending Mounsieur Shred, an Italian Tailor, snipped out of a piece of Devonshire Carsie, who with the shears of preferment, could at his pleasure cut out a shape of a new fashion, ad placitum, in an hours warning. These fellows with their ginny phreeses, and Italionate discourses, so set a fire the braving thoughts of our young gentlewomen, that what soever new fashion, Shred invented, they would have, or their husbands shall here out, on both sides of the head: yet some more respective than then the rest, would out of better consideration, cast with themselves, My husband's means are but weak, & his charge of housekeeping great and if I stretch his living to his breadth, it will not hold out: Tush (quoth Fashion) the French is your only garb, break up housekeeping, turn away those beef-eating swains, sell away your great horses: a Coachman and a Page are attendants enough. As for your offices of service, let me alone, I could supply five or six of them myself, and will be less charge to you, and perhaps more gains to me. Then will I bring your husband acquainted with a gentleman my father Corruption, that shall direct him a course far less troublesome, and much more commodious. Thus by the means of his forerunners Fashion, Pride, Emulation, etc. he became great, and drew the most part of this I'll to his acquaintance. Now I cannot rightly blame any one sort more than an other, since his familiarity is general, and equally embraced of the most, only those true tempered spirits of Nobility excepted, who from time to time since his first discovery, have made it their chief labour to spend their utmost endeavours in rooting of him out: But he having so many heads, that as fast as one is cut off, there springs up more in the room? The only way that I can prescribe for his final remove, is that every man should take adaduice of Conscience, and put themselves to the true taste of his touch, and finding how far he has drawn them from the end of their Creation, utterly Casshire, and for ever abjure his hellish society.  
This is the easiest and nearest course▪ and thus much I divine, that whosoever, either upon hope of private pain, or presumption of friends, conceal or harbour that Arch Caterpillar of England, will by the careful industry of vigilant Arethe be found out, and either hang with his wealthy hopes about his neck, or like a vagrant wander into his own Land with him for company, where all good minds hope they shall meet entertainment fitting such inconstant fugitives.  
You may see (quoth Feedewell) the longer a man lives, the more he may learn: I might have lived till all my friends h●d been weary of me, ere I should have found out this: but some reason there was that the cat winked, when both her eyes were out. I blame not our Landlords to keep such racket i'th' Country, when this vile Italian varlet hath his agents in the City: For I knew a man of good worship myself, give away as much Velvet in gowns and fore parts about an office, as would have made a Steeple a nightcappe. But (quoth Nemo, cutting him off) whom do you blame for that, the beggar, or the Patron? Marry (quoth Feedewell) the Patron: for I will count him a fool that will not bestow twenty or thirty pounds in jousts, to get an Office worth thirty pounds a year.  
You speak out of all discretion (answered Nemo) and such gross and unsensible parts as yours, cast scandal, & reproach without respect, or difference: as a cur having been cast into a puddle shakes himself, and casts his filth upon all that stand within his reach: so you having your Ass ears filled with maddy and scandaling reports, cast them forth, commonly as the blind man shoots at the Crow.  
Thus much let me (not for fear, but out of reverent modesty and equity) speak in the behalf of wronged Patrons. Suppose yourself or any other, belong, or follow some worthy Gentleman; an Office under his gift stands void, which he neither knows, nor respects: having received some kindness from him before, presumes if you can make some friends to the Patron, you may obtain i●▪ In this resolve you out of your free will, and rich hope of their assistance, give a Lady velvet for a gown, silk stockings or so: they receive it, and work means for the obtaining of your suit: You are possessed of it, where before perhaps it was an hundred pounds a year, you raise it to two hundred pounds, whose fault is this? Or say you had two or three Offices before, yet your petition is, that you are a poor Attendant of his Fortunes, & wanting means, such a piece of waste ground or so, to such, or such a value, lies void, and would stand you in some steed: you get it, he gives it with a free heart, and to a good intent: ●ut you contrary to his intent, and all honest proceedings invert his meaning, and abuse his bounty. But knew such Patrons, or givers of Offices, what inconveniences they bred, they would keep their credits from your scandal, and your greedy avarice from such preferment.  
Indeed (answered Conscience) there are a number of this condition, that walking in the shade of some great man, like Aesop's Stork, care not how many poor men they eat up and devour: But to quittance your fale of Corruptions first arrival: I'll tell you one ma● prank a Follower of his did in our Country.    

A fine piece of knavery done by a Churchwarden in show of piety and religion.  
THere was a man of good credit, and no-small honesty reputed: for we now a days value men's honesties by the King's book, so much in the pound: so that if he be weighty in the purse, he must needs be honest. He shall be nameless in this place, and yet for a groat matter you shall find him registered in Bulls Calendar, amongst the rank of his best Benefactors. This Franklin (I scorn to do the attribute of gentility so much wrong, as to lay it upon him) being one of the head men of the parish, and having passed through many under Offices of Sir Reverendshippe, as Scavenger, Sideman, cum multis aliis, he was by the general consent of the Towneshippe elected Churchwarden, and to win the name of a Benefactor to the Church, and have his name writ up in Roman letters over one of the glass windows. The boys playing at stooleball, by chance broke a quarry of the glass, whereupon he complained to the township, and tither had, or did his utmost to have the poor boy whipped, and under show of zeal (which had a little afore scorched him, he took me down the whole window, and at his own proper costs & charges built up an other in the place: But by report of the workmen, the new was too foot every way less than the old. And the same Churchwarden two months after built him a new window in his Parlour, with the same glass he took down at the Church, yet stands his name in villainous Roman letters over the window for a good Benefactor. The same year the foresaid Founder continuing his ancient care of maintaining the Church, one part of the Leads being faulty, and a drop or two of rain falling through, looked up, and spied the Church well leaded, presently had a knaviske Crotchet in his head, a note beyond Ela, and with a zealous verily, broke into these words, Have we a care to clothe our pampered bodies, and see the Church v●apparrelled? this must and shall be remedied: whereupon wtthout any more words, he sent for workmen, and the next day set them a work, to unlead the Church clean. That day he set Thatchers a work, and in steed of the Lead coat, clapped on a jerkin of straw: according to that of Dionysius, who coming into a Church, he saw many Idols richly clothed, some in gold, and some in silver: he disrobed them all, and made them good handsome suits of linsey-woolsey. Being asked the reason, Oh (quoth he) these golden coats in winter were so could, that the Saints were fain to blow their fingers ends to catch them a heat, and in summer so heavy, they could not walk abroad for heat, privily checking the vain superstition of those that were prodigal in bestowing such bounty upon a stone: but (quoth he) I out of a tender respect of their healths, have made them good Linsey-woolsey cassocks, good & warm for winter, & exceeding light & cool for Summer. So this Churchwarden feeling the foundation of the Church too weak for the Leaden cover, clothed it in straw, and turned the lead to his private use, which by the judgement of the workmen, trebly equalled his stubble upper garment, besides the parishes allowance which was not little. About the same time, a friend of his, as I remember, his brother's son, for some trespass against the Law lay in prison upon a reprieve, and some ten pound matter would have purchased his pardon. He having none, or very few friends of ability to disburse so much money on the sudden made means to him being his uncle, and sent his letter by two sufficient poor men, to enter bond for the repayment of it, his answer was, he would do any reasonable matter for his kinsman, to his power, but he was employed about building, and repaying the Church, and not having of his own to finish it, he was fain to stretch his credit to borrow. The poor men urged in what a desperate estate his kinsman's life stood, and past all recovery, without his aid, but all in vain, they had a cold suit of it, and as far as I could learn, the uncles unkindness cost the poor young man his life.  
At that they all interrupted him, saying, 'twas pity he lived, nay more than that (quoth Feedewell) I have been credibly informed, that unmerciful uncle had in his hands a will of that young man's Fathers, by virtue whereof he was to receive at the death of his mother, being an aged and impotent woman, a Farm, rent at thirty pounds a year: and a quarter of Wheat will not stop their mouths that say, he was the chief man that incited the young man's enemies to seek the extremity of Law, in hope to possess● the same land, which came rightly to pass, for the young man dead, his careful mother lived not long after, at whose death for want of heirs, the land fell to him as next of kind. The Devil helps his servants still (quoth Nemo) but your tale tends nothing to the Theme we handle, and your close come no nearer than your Exordium, you will have villainous battles made against you: Our purpose is to talk of Corruption, and heers nothing of that relish yet. If I might (then answered Feedewell) i'd come over some of their thumbs, with Gammer Gurton's proverb, and request them either to hear out my tale, or kiss the backside of the book, and trade it ou● for their labour.  
But to the matter, no sooner were the two honest Solicitors of the poor man's suit departed, but this zealous Church-builder, that had not a penny to cast at a dog, could find two hundred pounds to buy the reversion of an Office for his Son. and for twenty nobles given him of an other, made suit to a friend of his, and got a reprieve for as honest a man as ever cried stand. This was no branch of Bribery, but one man's tale is good, till an others be heard. He is reprieved, (and for bribes and gifts that he received from his friends, being Foreman of the jury, contrary to all Conscience) saved his life. But his his poor kinsman passing under the same jury, came to his long home. Within short time after this most charitable deed, 'twas his fortune to stay in Kent, and there came to be head Constable, during which Office he continued and strengthened his former acquaintance with the company of Saint Nicholas clerks, and now by reason of his Office could do them much more good and favour, than before: For had they taken any prize, his house was their harbour, and his credit their cloak, till the heat of the hue and cry was over. And I pray you what under Constable or Headborow durst be so saucy as to search there? Besides, it was evidently proved, divers gentlemen of his acquaintance traveling with any charge of money about them, would make his house their Inn●, and request his company and aid for their safe passage, being reputed a very virtuous man. But mark how kindly he used them, or at least some of them; It fortuned a young gentleman, a friend of mine, from whom I learned this intelligence, travailing that way, with some hundred pounds or more, and having sent his man back to dispatch some other business at home, he requested him to favour him so much, as to l●t a servant of his bear him company, telling him ●hat store of money he had, and that he was next to tender it at Lo●don upon a bond: he very careful of the young gentleman's safety as it seemed, told him the day was old, and the wa●es dangerous, and should by no means leave his house that night, but in the morning (as early as he pleased) not only his man, but he himself for the more security would bear him company: which kindness the young man accepted very gratefully. Hereupon our High Constable intending to be well paid for his night's lodging, sent to three or four of his consorts in these actions, and appointed in what place, and in what hour they should meet their prey, which took effect: For the next morning very early our civil high Constable called up the young Gentleman, and he, & one of his men rod to bring him the safest and nearest way: Scarce had they rod the quantity of a mile, but under a wood side they were set upon by three or four Gallants, who not only made the young Novice an hundred pound lighter, but with vile words abused our honest Constable, took away his money, and were very hardly entreated to let him scape with life.  
There was no knavery (quoth Conscience) but how came his villainy discovered?  
I'll tell you (quoth Feedewell) the Gentleman's man, whom I told you before he sent back upon some business, was by this time returned, and come to the Constable's house, thinking to call his master, and being there these three gallants, not dreaming of any such matter, came galloping into the yard, turned their horses in to the stable, and through a back garden, to which themselves had keys, went to their chambers. The ●ellow noted all this, but neither knew nor suspected what had happened till he met his Master, whom Mr. Constable had sent an other way. The fellow hearing his Master describe the colour of their horses, and attire of the men, straight saw a pad in the straw, and told his Master what he had seen, who seeing how unkindly they had used the Constable, a●d taken away his money, would by no means be won to credit him. The Fellow grounded in the certainty of his resolve, quite contrary to his Mast. knowledge, went to a justice, acquainted him with that he saw, and requested his aid and authority for the trial of his suspect, which he granted, and sent to beset the house: where to be short, they were all taken with the money about them: and the next Assizes made their several recantations out of a hempen pulpit.  
Believe me (quoth Conscience) they met but their deserts, but to quittance your tale I'll tell you an odd jest, played between a cowple of crafty knaves: wherein one deceived the other.   

How one crafty knave cunningly overreached an other.  
SVspend your judgements till you hear this discourse following, and then as you please censure of a couple of knaves that deceived one an other: for it hath been used a common byword, A crafty knave needs no Broker, by which it should appear, that a c●aftier knave than a Broker can hardly be found.  
A Country Lady sent up a servant, whom she might well trust, to provide her a gown according to some directions which she had given him, and the outside and lace (every other thing no doubt being answerable) show that it was of good price: for the Tailor had no less than seaventeneene yards o● the best black Satin could be got for money, and as much gold lace (beside spangles) as cost thirteen pounds, what else I know not: but let i● suffice; thus much was lost: the manner how, followeth ●hus,  
The Satin and lace being brought, to the Tailor that should make the Gown, and spread abroad on the shopboard to be measured; certain crafty knaves chanced to to go by, who seeing so rich a lace, and so excellent good satin, began to lay their heads together, and devise how they might make purchase of it: and quickly they thought it was to be done, or not at all. In a crew of crafty knaves there is (for the most part) one more ingenious and subtle than the rest, or at least covets to make himself more famous than the rest: as in this company there was one at that instant did swear his cunning should deeply deceive him, but he would have both the lace and satin: and having laid the plot with the rest, how their help might stand him in steed, they proceeded in this manner:  
They noted the Seruingm●n well that stood in the sho● with the Tailor, and gathered by his diligent attendance that he had some charge of the gown to be made there: By him therefore they purposed to work their treachery, and to use him as an instrument to beguile himself.  
One of them sitting on a seat near the tailors st●le, could easily here the talk that passed between the Servingman and the Tailor, w●ere amongst other communication it was concluded that the gown should be made of the self same fashion in every respect, as an other Ladies was not far off, and that measure being taken by her, th● same would fitly serve the Lady for whom the gown w●s to be made. The Servingman intended to speak wi●h the Lady, and upon a token agreed between them (which he carrlesly spoke so loud, that this crafty knave heard it) he would as her leisure served, certify the Tailor, and he should bring the stuff with him, to have the Lady's opinion both of the one and the other.  
The Servingman being gone about his business, this subtle mate tha● had listened to all their talk, acquainteth his Companions both with the determination, and token appointed for the Tailors coming to the Lady. The guide and leader of all the rest for villainy, thought there was no one but was better skilled in such matters then in honesty. He appoints that one of them should go to the Tavern, which was not far off, and laying two faggots on the fire in a room by himself, and a quart of wine f●lled for countenance of their treachery. An other of that Crew should give attendance on him as, if he were his master, being bare headed, and humbly answering (Sir) at every word. To the Tavern goeth this crafty counterfeit gentleman, and his servant waiting on him, where every thing was performed, as is before rehearsed. When the Master Knave calling the drawer, demanded if there dwelled not near hand a skilful Tailor, that could make a suit of velvet for himself, marry it was to be done with very great speed.  
The Drawer named the Tailor that we now speak off, and upon the Drawer's commendation of his cunning, the man was sent for in all haste to the gentleman, for whom he should make this suit of Velvet. Upon talk had of the stuff, and how much was to be boug●t of every thing: he must immediately take measure of this crafty knave: this counterfeit gentleman, because he knew not when he should return that way again, and afterwards they would go to the Mercers,  
As the Tailor was taking measure of him, bare headed, as if he had been some substantial gentleman in deed: This crafty mate had cunningly got his purse out of his pocket, at the one string whereof was fastened a little key, and at the other his scale ring: whether he got any thing thing else or no, he was sure of this booty already, and stepping to the window he cuts the ring from the purse, & by his supposed man (rounding him in the ear) sends it to the plot layer of this knavery, minding to ●rame the Tailor along with him, as it were to the Mercers, while (he the mean time) took order for the other mat●er.  
Afterwards speaking loud to his man, Sirrah (quoth he) dispatch what I bade you, and about four of the clock meet me in Paul's, by that time the Tailor and I shall have dispatched. To Cheapside goes the honest Tailor, with a notorious dissembler, not missing his purse for the space of two hours after. In less than half which time, the Satin and gold lace was likewise gotten by the other Knave from the tailors house in this order;  
Being sure the Tailor should be kept absent, he sends an other mate home to his house, who abused his servants with this devise; That the Lady's man had met their master abroad, and had him to the other Lady to take measure of her, and lest they should delay the time too long, he was sent for the Satin and lace, declaring the token appointed, and withal giving the Master's seal ring for better confirmation of his message. The servants could do no less but deliver it, being commanded (as they supposed) by so credible testimony: neither did the leisure of any one serve to go with the messenger, who seemed an honest young gentleman, and carried no cause of distrust in his countenance: wherefore they delivered him the lace and Satin, folded up together as it was, and desired him to will their Master to make some speed home, both for cutting out of work, and other occasions.  
To a Broker fit for the purpose, goes this knave with the Satin and Lace, who knowing well they could not be come by honestly, nor any thing else he brought of that crew, either gave them not so much as they would have, or at least as they judged they could have in an other place: for which the Ringleader of the Knavery vowed in his mind to be revenged on the Broker. The Master Knave who had spent two hours and more with the Tailor, and would not like of any Velvet: when he perceived that he missed his purse, and could not devise how, or where he had lost it, skewed himself very sorry for his mishap; and said in the morning he would send the velvet home to his house, knew where to speed of better than any he had in the sheps; home goes the Tailor very sadly, where he was entertained with a greater mischance: For there was the Lady's servingman, swearing and stamping that he had not seen their master since the morning they parted, neither had he sent for the Satin and Lace: But when the servants justified their innocency, beguilded both with the true token rehearsed, and their masters seal ring, it exceedeth my cunning to set down words answerable to the exceeding grief and amazement on either part: but most of all the honest Tailor, who sped the best by the Broker's wilfulness as afterwards it happened, which made him the better brook the loss of his purse. That night all means were used that could be, both to the Mercers, Brokers, Goldsmiths, Gol●finers, and such like, where happily such things do come to be sold: But all was in vain, the only help came by the inventor of this villainy, who scant sleeping all night, in regard of the Brokers extreme gaining both by him, & those that he knew practised the like knaveries. The next morning he ca●e by the tailors house, at what time he espied him with the Lady's serving-man co●ming forth of the doors, and into the Tavern he went to report what a mishap he had upon the sending of him thither the day before.  
As he was but newly entered his sad discourse, in comes the party offended wihh the Broker, and having heard all, (whereof none could make better report of then himself) he takes the Tailor and servingman aside, and pretending great grief for both their causes, demands what they would think him worthy of, that could help them to their goods again. On condition to meet with such a friend, offer was made of five pounds, and after sundry speeches passing between them alone, he seeming that he would work the recovery of them by Art, and they promising not to disclose the man that did them good, he drew forth a little book out of his bosom, whether it were latin, or English it skills not, for he could not read a word on it: then desiring them to spare him alone a while, they should perceive w●at he could do for them,  
Their hearts encouraged with some good hope, kept all his words secret to themselves, and not long had they sitten absent out of the room, but he called them in again, and seeming as though he had been a Scholar in deed, said he found by his Figure that a Broker in such a place, had their goods lost, and in such a place of the house they should find it; bidding them g●r thither with all speed, and as they found his words, so (with reserving to themselves how they came to knowledge thereof) to meet him there again in the Evening, and reward him as he had deserved.  
Away in haste goes the Tailor and the Servingman, & entering the house with the Constable, found them in the place where he that revealed it, knew the Broker always laid such gotten goods. Of their joy again, I leave you to conjecture and think you see the Broker with a good pair of bolts on his heels, ready when time shall serve, to take his turn in a halter. The cunning crafty knave went thus far beyond the Broker, and (as I have heard) was paid his five pounds that night. And thus you may see the old saying verified, That a crafty knave needs no Broker. One crafty knave having thus beguilded an other, that he brought h●m in danger of the Gallows. And here Conscience brings in an other jest that happened during the time of his imprisonment, wherein Corruption played the chief part.   

How a jailor was corrupted to give certain prisoners leave to go abroad without Keepers.  
BEing (as I told you before) arrested, and clapped up in the jail, from whence you bailed me, I saw and observed many strange, and almost incredible practices of our Keeper, a good com●y proportioned man, and fit for all companies but good men's, to whom he was a mortal enemy▪ Cut purses, and men of that qu●ll●ty that wanted no money, were debarred of no liberty: the Orchard to walk in, the Guard to shoot or vowle in: Provided their fellows abroad, now and then visited them, and forgot not the Keeper, they had all things at command. Amongst man, of these (to a well known, yet winked at) I observed one notable piece of villainy, and that was this.  
Our Keeper (as I said) being a b●●n Companion, as they term it, and one that would rather take two purses, then loose one, was in leagued with all the night wanderers of the Country: And it happened a couple of rank riders, that lived only upon Moonshine Evenings, and misty mornings for bidding a gentleman stand instead of good-morrow, were apprehended, and committed to prison: where having store of Crowns, the Keeper and they were hail fellow, well met, which continued till their gold fell to an ebb: well, live they must, and fare of the best they will, and money they have none: Now mark how ready this crafty Arch-uillaine Corruption is, to take hold upon the least occasion that makes for his benefit.  
They seeing the condition of their Keeper to be as most men are, covetous of Crowns and on ●hat thought the savour of gain sweet, though gathered from the smoke of attorneys. One day training him into the Garden, began to break with him to this purpose; Sir so 〈◊〉, we are Gentlemen, and hold you a man of so good an● well t●mper'd constitution, that we intent to trust not only our hope of life, but very heart and soul of our secrets into your bosom, and will you but observe one course that we have plotted in our thoughts, you shall not only highly pleasure us, but without any noted prejudice, much advantage yourself: The Keeper ready of preferment, took hold of the last word (vantage) and his greedy thoughts like a woman with child, longed till they saw their dear begotten babe Commodity borne.  
Therefore in a resolve, not only to conceal, but with the utmost strength of his endeavours, to assist and further their proceedings of what condition soever. After a pottle of wine sent for into the Arbour, he desired them to unpart their secrets, which briefly tended to this effect; Sir (quoth one of these goodfellows) you see our means begin to grow shor●, and by reason of our restrained liberty we canno● get abroad to increase it: would it lay in my power (quoth the Keeper to help it, why so it doth, quoth the other, and that's the very end of our suit, I know you have a couple of good geldings in your stable, l●nd us them for a day or two, and to colour our absence, give it out that we are sick, and keep our chambers, and let us alone, there shall not a passenger of any sort pass, till his purse hath paid us tribute, If we fear any pursuit, your jail is as safe as a Sanctuary: Grant but this, and you shall have your full share, absent, or present, as deep as any. The jailor in a full carows of the best blood of the grape, swore to conceal, and what in him lay, to aid their attempt. 'twas pity of his life (answered Feedewell) but what success had they in their practice? Long they continued that hellish exercise, and so much they presumed upon their unexpected Sanctuary, they would not let any pass, but as the proverb is, All was fish that came to the net: sometimes they stayed out a week, sometimes more, or less, but still their coming home paid for all: for they never came empty; but laden with golden bags, like bees to the hive. At last (for so long goes the pitcher to the water, that it comes broken home) it was their chance to meet, and set upon a Gentleman & his two men, fitted with a thousand marks, which was the same man, that at ●irst was the cause of their imprisonment, and in the hurly burly one of their vizards fell off, by which the gentleman presently knew him, and had a shrewd guess at the other. They not regarding any such matter, being sped of their purpose, set spurs to their horse sides, and by some odd by-ways, rid a full fling to their Rendezvous, the Keeper himself being at that instant in their company. They gone, the gentleman strait imagined by the smoke whereabout the fire was, sent his man to the next justice for a warrant, to call such prisoners before him, to answer to further objections, by him to be alleged. The Fellow spared no horseflesh, but having got the warrant drawn, overtook his Master entering the jail door, ●ug in the edge of the evening: ●ell to be short, they knock at the Castle gate, called for the Keeper, word was brought he was cod from home, well, out he draws the warrant, and by virtue of the contents, commanded two such prisoners at such a time, and by such a man, for such an offence committed: should without any stay be brought that present evening before the justice, Answer was made, the two Gentlemen (with grief as it seemed, for their offence) were sorely sick, and had for two days together kept their beds: This report gave full shape and proportion to his former suppose: well they knocked at their Chamber door, no answer was m●de: with the aid and authority of the Constable, they broke it open, but the Prisoners could not be found. the good wife and servants were questioned about their depart, they knew nothing, but imagined the thieves had secretly broke prison. Upon this search has made round about the chamber, but no likely means for their escape could be found, which confirmed the Gentleman's thoughts. Well down they went with an intent to place a strong watch about the jail, and whom should he meet at the stairs foot, but the honest Keeper, and his two sickly prisoners, whom no sooner spied the gentleman, attended by officers, but their blood left their faces, and their hearts fell into their heels, as the proverb is. Well, the Constable by virtue of his authority, arrested ●hem all of flat felony. At which the jailor began to storm, and told him both he and the gentleman should dearly repent his wrong, being as honest a man as himself, and began to relate how the two Felons (unknown to him) broke Prison, and stole his geldings secretly out of his stable, and that he had spent so many crowns, and rod so many horses to death in their quest: and if they had before his coming robbed him of his money, he was sorry, but there it was, and what was diminished should be restored, and they satisfy his wrongs with their lives, this bold or rather impudent excuse (the Constable having a good opinion of his former conversation) passed with them for currant, and seeing their Commission stretched no further than these two, they would by no means take charge of the Keeper: the other two they carried to the justice, who (as it seemed) touched with the singer of remorse, confessed the just manner of their proceedings. And what (quoth Feedewell) became of the Hoa●●? Fearing (as indeed it came to pass) that they would reveal his practice, he put money in his purse, and offered to fly, but was quickly surprised, and at the next Sessious, out of his own Office condemned, and most worthily hanged. They all replied that it was too favourable a death. At the end of this tale they were all about to sing Loath to depart: Nay stay (quoth Nemo) and for a parting blow i'll tell you one mad prank more of a Searcher, done not long since at London: but because I will not be troublesome,, i'll knit it up in three words, etc.   

How certain Searchers made prey of a Fellow, that hid unaccustomed goods in a private place of the Ship, and how cunningly they wrought upon him.  
THey have an order amongst them at London, that no Merchandise must be carried out of the Land, till it be customed, as they term it. Now to the maintaining of this decree, are certain Searchers appointed: and any such unwarranted goods, by their authority and place, they may seize to the Prince's use, & part to themselves. Amongst many other, one honest fellow going to Sea, and willing to make the most he could of his small stock, had bestowed to the value of some twenty pounds, even all he had, and because he would not go to the cost to customett, hid it in a private place of the ship, and intended to stand to the courtesy of the Searchers: So it chanced, a Searcher more in hope of some small Bribe, than any care of his duty, came aboard, and found this unaccustomed commodity, and as his Office warranted, might have seized it to the Prince's use, but the owner acquainted with their dealing, came, and put a couple of French crowns in his hand, which so dazzled his sight, that he winked at his small fault, and departed: but mark the profound knavery of this fellow, he was no sooner a shore, but the first man he met was a fellow officer of his, to whom he imparted this news, and half his gain, urging him to go aboard the same ship, and in such a place he should find a forfeit commodity, and except he would give him the better consideration, he should (as he might by his Office) seize it to the Prince's use, which took effect: for the poor fellow, rather than he would hazard the whole stock, was content to give the second Searcher five pounds, for which he was content this custom of the country should be broke, and the Prince robbed of his due, but mark how this fellow was rewarded, A third searcher came, sent by the means of the other, and without more words took it clean away, and in steed of converting it toth' King's use, sold it amongst themselves. He was well enough served (answered all) that for a private commodity would go about to wrong the state public, but they were worthy all punishment possible, that being Officers, and sworn to do equity, should attempt to do such a notable piece of villainy, that may bring them to the Gallows their lawful inheritance, without the speedier amendment.   

Well (says Nemo) seeing the night steals hence, and we have several business in the morning, I will proceed to some of Corruptions injuries. I left at the great thieves, and the little, some judging, others hanging, but if you shall ask how the King is deceived of his customs, the Country wronged by convey of forbidden Commodities? I answer, that it is only by Corruption, who blinds the Searchers, begs Licenses. does all injuries: and till he and all his Officers be cut short, there is no help to be hoped for.  
Therefore Nemo let it be your work to draw an indictment against Corruption at the next Sessions, and prefer it to the great inquest of Honesty, what though they be for the most poor, that's the better for our purpose. Some of the old inquest were mixed with Asses, that had no more wit than the gold that loaded them, others were only forenoon men, and fitter to lie and sleep after drinking, and their dinner, then sit or stand on causes between the innocent and the guilty: divers, or the most part were cherishers and servants of Corruption, and except some very few, they were hardhearted cowardly fellows, that for fear of Commitment, durst not speak their consciences: but our inquest of Honesty are confident men, and will rather die then deliver untruths: as for example, 

Mr. Humf. Honesty the Foreman.  
Thomas Teltroth.  
Daniel Dread-naught.  
Samuel Sufferance,  
Peter Pay forall.  
Clement Consideration.  
Gabriel Goodman.  
jonas judgement.  
Bartholomew Bettercause  
Francis Free-heart.  
Nicholas No-lyer.  
Marmaduke Man-loue●    
Twelve good men and true: but if any of these should be out of town, or otherwise employed, there is, 

Ferdinando Fearless.  
Henry Hate-hurt.  
Leonard Love-truth.    
With sundry other, that Honesty will inform you off, who are no less careful for the wrongs done to virtue, though they be but a few, and poor, than the proudest oppressors are sorry to see the times changed, wherein they think to be called to account for their corruption, and wrongful extortions, from the sweat and travel of the painful labourer.  
On this resolution Conscience, and Nemo agreed, and Feedewell said, he would be glad all were well, so 'twere not long of him, for he was not able to endure travel by any means: he must feed, and be fat how ere the world waged. Sir Simon Saywell said, he spoke honestly, and like a wise man, and a wealthy politician, whose part it was to meddle with nothing but their own ease, and to séed of what they had, and still to follow the faction of the strong.  
At this Conscience and Nemo in great anger parsed with them, call them Temporizers, belly gods, and I not not what, but they went laughing away hand in hand, to the next Tap house, there to determine deeply of the matter, by which means I was left all alone, whereupon I took pen and ink, which I had by great chance about me, and sitting upon the side of a green bank, having no desk but my knee, set down so near (as I could) the meaning and drift of their several discourses, and the rather, for that laying open some part of Corruptions enormities, you might judge with me, whether he be not that crafty knave, that needs no Broker, and such an one as is able to confound the common estate and condition, both of City, and Country.  
Pardon me if it answer not your expectation, being it was done in haste, and but the indigested remnant of a dream: but if you favour this, i'll ride my horse to death, but i'll get you a true copy of Corruptions indictment, answers, arraignment, sentence, and execution: and labour to frame all to your general good like.   
FINIS.