NOBODY, AND SOMEBODY. With the true Chronicle History of Elydure, who was fortunately three several times crowned King of England. The true Copy thereof, as it hath been acted by the Queen's majesties Servants.  
 
Printed for john Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican, at the sign of Nobody.   

The Prologue.  
A subject, of no subject, we present, for Nobody, is Nothing:  
Who of nothing can something make?  
It is a work beyond the power of wit,  
And yet invention is ripe:  
A moral meaning you must then expect, grounded on lesser than a shadows shadow:  
Promising nothing where there wants a tongue;  
And deeds as few, be done by Nobody:  
Yet something, out of nothing, we will show,  
To gain your loves, to whom ourselves we owe.   

NOBODY, AND SOMEBODY.  Enter Cornwell and Martianus. Corn. 
MY Lord Martianus.  Mar. 
My Lord of Cornwell.  Corn. 
Morrow.  Mar. 
Morrow,  Corn. 
You are sad my Lord.  Mar. 
You melancholy.  Corne. 
So,  
The state itself mourns in a rob of Woe.  Mar, 
For the decease of Archigallo's virtues,  
I understand you Noble minded Cornwell,  
What generous spirit draws this British air,  
But droops at Archigallo's government.  corn. 
And reason Martianus, when the Sun  
Struggles to be delivered from the womb  
Of an obscure Eclipse, doth not the earth  
Mourn to behold his shine enveloped,  
O Corbonon when I did close thine eyes,  
I gave release to Britain's miseries.  Enter Elydure. Mar. 
Good morrow to Prince Elydure.  Elid. 
The same to you, and you, you are sad my Lords,  
your hearts I think are frosty, for your blood  
Seems crusted in your faces, like the dew  
In a September morn, how fares the king,  
Have you yet bid good morrow to his highness.  Corn. 
The kings not stirring yet.  Enter Vïgenius and Peridure. Perid 
Yonder's old Cornwell, come Vïgenius,  
we'll have some sport with him:  Vig. 
Brother content.  Perid. 
Good morrow to you brother Elydure.  Cornwel, 
God morrow to Cornwell.  Vig. 
Morrow old graybeard.  Corn. 
My beards not so grey as your wits green.  Vig. 
And why so.  Perid. 
We shall ha' you come out now with some reason that was borne in my great grand sire's time.  Corn. 
Would you would prove as honest princes as your great grandsire was, or half so wise as your elder brother was, there's a Couple of you, 'sfoot I am ashamed you should be of the blood royal.  Perid. 
And why father winter.  Corn. 
You do not know your state, there's Elydure  
Your elder brother next unto the King,  
He plies his book, when shall you see him trace  
Lascivious Archigallo through the streets,  
And fight with common hackster's hand to hand,  
To wrest from them their goods and dignities.  Perid. 
You are too saucy Cornwell.  Vig. 
Bridle your spirit.  Elyd. 
Your words are dangerous, good honest subject  
Old reverent statesman, faithful servitor,  
Do not traduce the King, he's virtuous  
Or say he tread somewhat besides the line  
Of virtuous government, his regality  
Brooks not taxation, king's greatest royalties  
Are that their subjects must applaud their deeds,  
As well as bear them their prerogatives.  
Are mural interponents twixt the world,  
And their proceedings.  Corn. 
Well, well, I have served four kings,  
And none of all those four but would have ventured  
Their safeties on old Cornwall's constancy,  
But that's all one, now I am called a dotard,  
Go to, though now my limbs be stark and stiff,  
When Cornwall's dead Britain I know will want  
So strong a prop, Alas I needs must weep,  
And shed tears in abundance, when I think  
How Archigallo wrongs his government.  Vig. 
Nay, now you'll fall into your tetchy humour.  Enter Lord sycophant. Sicoph. 
My Lords, Princes I should have said, and after  
Lords, I am the Usher and Harbinger unto the kings most  
Excellent person and his Majesty.  Vig. 
Is fourth coming.  Sicoph. 
Or coming fourth, hard by or at hand, will you Put your gestures of attendance on, to give his Majesty the bonjour.  Enter Archigallo and two Lords. Morgan Malgo. All. 
Good morrow to our sovereign Archigallo.  Arch. 
Morrow.  Corn. 
Why do you frown upon your servants king,  
We love you, and you ought to favour us:  
Will you to Counsel. here's petitions,  
Complaints and controversies twixt your subjects,  
Appealing all to you.  Arch. 
Let's see those papers. A controversy betwixt the Lord Morgan and the Lord Malgo, concerning their Titles to the Southern Island. We know this cause and what their titles be. You claim it by inheritance.  Morg. 
My liege I do.  Arch. 
You by the marriage of Lord Morgan's mother,  
To whom it was left jointure.  Malgo. 
True gracious Sovereign.  Arch. 
Whose evidence is strongest, to which part  
Inclines the censures of our learned judges.  Morgan. 
We come not here to plead before your grace,  
But humbly to entreat your Majesty,  
Peruse our evidence and censure it,  
According to your wisdom.  Arch. 
What I determine then you'll yield unto.  Both. 
We will my Sovereign.  Arch. 
Then that Southern I'll  
we take to our protection, and make you  
Lord governor thereof.  Sicoph. 
I humbly thank your highness.  Mal. 
I hope your Majesty.  Arch. 
Reply not, I but take it to myself  
Because I would not have dissension  
betwixt two peers, I love to see you friends,  
And now the Islands mine, your quarrel ends.  
What's next. A poor northern man's humble petition.  
Which is the plaintive?  Enter clown, Wench, and Rafe. Rafe. 
I if it please your Majesty I was betrothed to this maid.  Arch. 
Is this true my Wench.  Wench. 
'tis very true and like your majesty, but this tempting fellow after that, most feloniously stole my heart away fro me, carried it into the church, and I running after him to get my heart again, was there married to this other man.  clown. 
'tis very true and like your majesty, though Raphe were once look for a proper man, yet when I came in place it appeared otherwise: if your highness note his leg and mine, there is odds, and for a foot, I dare compare, I have a waist to, and though I say it, that should not say it there are faces in place of God's making.  Arch. 
Thou art a proper fellow, and this wench is thine by lawful marriage.  clown. 
Rafe you have your answer, you may be gone, your only way to save charges, is to buy a half-pennyworth of Hobnails for your shoes: Alas you might have looked into this before, go silly Rafe go, away, vanish.  Arch. 
Is not this Lass a pretty Neat brown Wrench?  Sicoph. 
She is my liege, and metal I dare warrant.  Arch. 
Fellow, how long hast thou been married?  Clown. 
I was as they say coupled the same day that my country man Raphe begun the law: for to tell your Majesty the truth, we are yet both virgins, it did never freeze betwixt us two in a bed I assure your grace.  Arch. 
Didst never lie with thy wife?  Clown. 
Never yet, but now your Majesty hath ended the matter I'll be so bold as take possession.  Arch. 
Hark my wench, wilt leave these rustic fellows & stay with me?  Wench. 
What will your highness do with me?  Arch. 
Why I'll make thee a Lady.  Wench. 
And shall I go in fine clothes like a Lady.  Arch. 
Thou shalt.  Wench. 
I'll be a Lady then, that's flat, sweet heart farewell, I must be a Lady, so I must.  Clow. 
How now, how now, but hear you Sir.  Wench. 
Away you Clown, away.  Clown. 
But will your highness rob me of my spouse.  Arch. 
What we will, we will, away with those slaves.  Clown. 
Zounds, if ever I take you in Yorkshire for this.  Sicoph. 
Away you slaves.  Corn. 
My Lord, these general wrongs will draw your highness into the common hatred of your subjects.  Arch. 
What's that to thee, old doting Lord forbear.  
What's here? complaints against one Nobody,  
For overmuch relieving of the poor,  
Helping distressed prisoners, entertaining  
Extravagants and vagabonds, what fellows this?  Corn. 
My liege I know him, he's an honest subject  
That hates extortion, usury, and such sins  
As are too common in this Land of Britain.  Arch. 
I'll have none such as he within my kingdom,  
He shall be banished.  Sicoph. 
Hear my advise my liege: I know a fellow  
That's opposite to Nobody in all things:  
As he affects the poor, this other hates them,  
Loves usury and extortion. Send him straight  
Into the Country, and upon my life,  
Ere many months he will devise some means  
To make that Nobody bankrupt, make him fly  
His Country, and be never heard of more.  Arch. 
What dost thou call his name.  Sicoph. 
His name is Somebody my liege.  Arch. 
Seek out that Somebody, we'll send him straight,  
What other matters stay to be decided  
Determine you, and you, the rest may follow  
To give attendance.  Exeunt all but the Lords. Manent Cornwell and Martianus. Mart. 
All's nought already, yet these unripe ills  
Have not their full growth, and their next degree  
Must needs be worse than nought, and by what name  
Do you call that?  Cornw. 
I know none bad enough:  
Base, vild, notorious, ugly monstrous, slavish,  
Intolerable, abhorred, damnable;  
'tis worse than bad, I'll be no longer vassal  
To such a tyrannous rule, nor accessary  
To the base sufferance of such outrages.  Mart. 
You'll not endure it, how can you remedy  
A maim so dangerous and incurable?  Corn. 
There is a way; but walls have ears and eyes,  
Your ear my Lord, and counsel.  Mart. 
I have ears  
Open to such discourse, and counsel apt:  
And to the full recovery of these wounds  
Made in the sick state, most effectual,  
A word in private.  Enter Peridure and Vigenius. Perid. 
Come brother, I am tired with reveling,  
My last coranto made me almost breathless,  
Doth not the Kings last wench foot it with art?  Vige. 
Oh rarely, rarely, and beyond opinion.  
I like this state where all are Libertines  
But by ambition's pleasure and large will:  
See, see, two of our strict lived Counsellors  
In secret conference; they cannot endure  
This freedom.  Perid. 
Nor the rule of Archigallo,  
Because 'tis subject to his liberty.  
Are they not plotting now for some instalment  
And change of state: old gallants if you be  
'twill cost your heads.  Vige. 
Bodies and all for me.  
List them, such strict reprovers should not live,  
Their austere censures on their kings to give.  Corn. 
He must be then deposed.  Perid. 
ay, are you there, that word sounds treason.  Vig. 
Nay, but farther hear.  Mart. 
The King deposed, how must it be effected,  
What strengths and powers can suddenly be levied,  
Who will assist this business, to reduce  
The state to better form and government?  Vig. 
ay mary, more of that.  Corn. 
All cornwall's at my beck, Devonshire our neighbour  
Is one with us, you in the North command.  
The oppressed, wronged, dejected and suppressed,  
Will flock on all sides to this innovation:  
The Clergy late despised, the Nobles scorned,  
The Commons trod on, and the Law contemned,  
Will lend a mutual and combined power  
Unto this happy change.  Peri. 
Oh monstrous treason!  Mart. 
My Lord, we are betrayed, and overheard  
By the two princes.  Corn. 
How, betrayed.  Mart. 
Our plots discovered.  Corn. 
I'll help it all; do you but sooth me up,  
We'll catch them in the trap they lay for us.  Mart. 
I'll do't.  Corn. 
Now sir, the king deposed  
Who shall succeed?  Mart. 
Some would say Elidure.  Corn. 
Tush, he's too mild to rule.  
But there are two young princes, hopeful youths  
And of rare expectation in the Land,  
Oh would they deign to bear this weighty charge  
Betwixt them, and support the regal sceptre  
With joint assistance, all our hopes were full.  Vig. 
A Sceptre.  Perid. 
And a Crown.  Mart. 
What if we made the motion? we have wills  
To effect it, we have power to compass it.  Vig. 
And if I make refusal, heaven refuse me.  Perid. 
These Counsellors are wise, and see in us  
More virtue than we in ourselves discern.  
Would it were come to such election.  Corn. 
My honoured Lord, we'll break it to those princes,  
Those hopeful youths, at our convenient leisure.  Mart. 
With all my heart.  Corn. 
You that our footsteps watched,  
Shall in the depth of your own wiles be catched.  Exeunt. Vig. 
A King.  Perid. 
And were a crown, a crown imperial.  Vig. 
And sit in state.  Perid. 
Command.  Vig. 
And be obeyed.  Perid. 
Our Nobles kneeling.  Vig. 
servants homaging, and crying Ave.  Perid. 
Oh brother, shall we through nice folly  
Despise the proffered bounty of these Lords?  Vig. 
Not for the world, I long to sit in state,  
To purse the bounty of our gracious fate.  Perid. 
To entertain foreign Ambassadors.  Vig. 
And have our names ranked in the course of kings.  Perid. 
Shadow us State with thy majestic wings.  Enter King, Cornwell, Martianus, and Elidure. Vige. 
Now sir, my brother Archigall deposed  Corn. 
Deposed! did you hear that my Lord.  Vig. 
For his licentious rule, and such abuses  
As we'll pretend 'gainst him in parliament.  Arch. 
Oh monstrous brothers.  Elidu. 
Oh ambitious youths.  Vig. 
Thus we'll divide the Land, all beyond Trent  
And Humber, shall suffice one moiety:  
The south part of the Land shall make the other,  
Where we will keep two Courts, and reign divided,  
Yet as dear loving brothers.  Arch. 
As vild traitors.  Perid. 
Then Archigall, thou that hast sat in pomp  
And seen me vassal, shalt behold me crowned,  
Whilst thou with humble knees vail'st to my state.  Arch. 
And when must this be done, when shall my crown  
Be parted and divided into halves.  
You reign on this side Humber, you beyond  
The river Trent, when do you take your states,  
Sit crowned and sceptred to receive our homage,  
Our duty, and our humble vassalage.  Perid. 
I know not when.  Arch. 
Nor you?  Vige. 
Nor I.  Arch. 
But I know when you shall repent your pride.  
Nor will we use delays in our revenge,  
Ambitious boys, we doom you prisonment,  
Your Palace royal shall a jail be made,  
Your thrones a dungeon, and your sceptres Irons,  
In which we'll bound your proud aspiring thoughts:  
A way with them, we will not mount our chair  
Till their best hopes be changed to black despair.  Perid. 
Hear us excuse ourselves.  Vige. 
Or let's discover  
Who drew us to this hope of sovereignty.  Arch. 
That shall our further leisures arbitrate,  
Our ears are deaf to all excusive pleas,  
Come unambitious brother Elidurus,  
Help us to lavish our abundant treasures,  
In masks, sports, revels, riots, and strange pleasures.  Exeunt: Enter Somebody with two or three servants. Somb. 
But is it true the fame of Nobody,  
For virtue, almsdeeds, and for charity,  
Is so renowned and famous in the Country?  Seru. 
Oh Lord sir ay, has talked of far and near,  
Fills all the boundless country with applause,  
There lives not in all Britain one so spoke of,  
For pity, good mind, and true charity.  Somb. 
Which Somebody shall alter er't be long.  Seru. 
You may my Lord being in grace at Court,  
And the high favours of King Archigallo  
Exile this petty fellow from the Land,  
That so obscures the beauty of your deeds.  Sombod. 
What doth this Nobody?  Seru. 
You shall hear my Lord,  
Come twenty poor men to his gate at once,  
Nobody gives them money, meat and drink,  
If they be naked, clothes, then come poor soldiers,  
Sick, maimed, and shot, from any foreign wars,  
Nobody takes them in, provides them harbour,  
Maintains their ruined fortunes at his charge,  
He gives to orphans, and for widows builds  
alms-houses, spitals, and large Hospitals,  
And when it comes in question, who is apt  
For such good deeds, 'tis answered Nobody.  
Now Nobody hath entertained again  
Long banished Hospitality, and at his board  
A hundred lusty yeomen daily waits,  
Whose long backs bend with weighty chines of beef,  
And choice of cheer, whose fragments at his gate  
Suffice the general poor of the whole shire.  
nobody's table's free for travelers,  
His buttery and his seller ope to all  
That starve with drought, or thirst upon the way,  Somb. 
His fame is great, how should we help it?  Seru. 
My Lord, 'tis past my reach, 'tis you must do it,  
Or't must be left undone.  Somb. 
What deeds of note is he else famous for?  Seru. 
My Lord I'll tell you.  
His Barns are full, and when the Cormorants  
And wealthy Farmers hoard up all the grain,  
He empties all his Garners to the poor  
Under the stretched prize that the Market yields,  
Nobody racks no rents, doth not oppress  
His tenants with extortions. When the King  
Knighted the lusty gallants of the Land,  
Nobody then made dainty to be knighted,  
And indeed kept him in his known estate.  Somb. 
The slaves ambitious; and his life I hate.  Seru. 
How shall we bring his name in public scandal?  Sombo. 
Thus it shall be, use my direction.  
In Court and country I am Somebody,  
And therefore apt and fit to be employed:  
Go thou in secret being a subtle knave.  
And sow seditious slanders through the Land,  
Oppress the poor, suppress the fatherless,  
Deny the widows food, the starved relief,  
And when the wretches shall complain their wrongs,  
Being called in question, swear 'twas Nobody,  
Rack rends, raise prizes,  
Buy up the best and choice commodities  
At the best hand, then keep them till their prizes  
Be lifted to their height, and double rate,  
And when the raisers of this dearth are sought  
Though Somebody do this, protest and swear  
'twas Nobody fore judge and Magistrate:  
Bring scandals on the rich, raise mutinous lies  
Upon the state, and rumours in the Court,  
Backbite and sow dissension amongst friends,  
Quarrels 'mongst neighbours, & debate 'mongst strangers,  
Set man and wife at odds, kindred at strife,  
And when it comes in question, to clear us,  
Let every one protest and swear for one,  
And so the blame will fall on Nobody.  
About it then, if these things well succeed,  
You shall prevail, and we applaud your speed.  Enter Nobody and the Clown. 
See where he comes, I will withdraw and see,  
The event and fortunes of our last policy.  Nobod. 
Come on mine own servant, some news, some news, what report have I in the country? how am I talked on in the City, and what fame bear I in the Court?  Clown. 
Oh Master you are half hanged.  Nobod. 
Hanged, why man?  Clown. 
Because you have an ill name: a man had as good almost serve no Master as serve you, I was carried afore the Constable but yesterday, and they took me up for a stravagant; they asked me whom I served, I told them Nobody, they presently drew me to the post, and there gave me the law of arms.  Nobody. 
The law of arms.  Clow, 
ay, as much law as their arms were able to lay on, they tickled my Collifodium, I rid post for a quarter of an hour, with switch though not with spur.  Nobod. 
Sure Somebody was the cause of all.  Clow. 
I'll be sworn of that, Somebody tickled me a heat, and that I felt, but Master, why do you go thus out of fashion; you are even a very hoddy-doddy, all breech,  Nobod. 
And nobody. But if my breeches had as much cloth in them, as ever was drawn betwixt Kendall and Canning street, they were scarce great enough to hold all the wrongs that I must pocket:  
Fie, fie, how I am slandered through the world.  
Nobody keeps tall fellows at his heels,  
Yet if you meet a crew of rogues and beggars,  
Ask who they serve, they'll answer Nobody.  
Your Cavaliers and swaggerers 'bout the town,  
That domineer in Taverns, swear and stare,  
Urge them upon some terms, they'll turn their malice  
To me, and say they'll fight with Nobody,  
Or if they fight, and Nobody by chance  
Come in to part them, I am sure to pay for it,  
And Nobody be hurt when they scape scotfree:  
And not the dastardst coward in the world  
But dares about with me. What shall I do?  Somb. 
Do what thou wilt, before we end this strife,  
I'll make thee ten times weary of thy life.  Clown. 
But do you hear Master, when I have served you a year or two, who shall pay me my wages?  Nobo. 
Why Nobody.  Clown. 
Indeed if I serve Nobody, Nobody must pay me my wages, therefore I'll even seek out Somebody or other, to get me a new service; but the best is Master if you run away, you are easy to be found again.  Nobod. 
Why so sir?  Clown. 
Mary ask a deaf man whom he hears, he'll straight say Nobody, ask the blindest beetle that is whom he sees, and he'll answer, Nobody, he that never saw in his life can see you, though you were as little as a moat, and he that never heard, can hear you, though you tread as softly as a Mouse, therefore I shall be sure never to lose you. Besides, you have one commodity Master, which none hath beside you, if you should love the most fickle & inconstant'st wench that is in the world, she'll be true to Nobody, therefore constant to you.  Nobod. 
And thou sayest true in that my honest servant,  
Besides, I am in great especial grace  
With the King Archigallo that now reigns  
In tyranny, and strange misgovernment,  
Nobody loves him, and he loves Nobody.  
But that which most torments my troubled soul,  
My name is made mere opposite to virtue,  
For he is only held peaceful and quiet,  
That quarrels, brawls, and fights with Nobody,  
He's honest held that lies with nobody's wife,  
And he that hurts and injures Nobody,  
All the world says, ay that's a virtuous man.  
And though a man have done a thousand mischiefs,  
And come to prove the forfeit made to law,  
If he can prove he hath wronged Nobody,  
No man can touch his life. This makes me mad,  
This makes me leave the place where I was bred,  
And thousand times a day to wish me dead.  Somb. 
And I'll pursue thee wheresoe'er thou fliest,  
Nor shalt thou rest in England till thou diest.  Clown. 
Master, I would wish you to leave the Country, and see what good entertainment you will have in the City, I do not think but there you will be most kindly respected, I have been there in my youth, there's Hospitality, & you talk of Hospitality, and they talk of you abomination to see: for there Master come to them as often as you will, four times a day, and they'll make Nobody drink, they love to have Nobody trouble them, and without good security they will lend Nobody money. Come into Birchin Lane, they'll give Nobody a suit, choose where he list; go into Cheapside, and Nobody may take up as much plate as he can carry.  Nobod. 
Then I'll to London, for the Country tires me  
With exclamations, and with open wrongs,  
Sith in the City they affect me so.  Clown. 
O Master, there I am sure Nobody may have any thing without money, Nobody may come out of the Tavern without paying his reckoning at his pleasure.  Enter a man meeting his wife. Nobody. 
That's better than the Country. Who comes here?  Man 
Minion, where have you been all this night?  Wife 
Why do you ask husband?  Man 
Because I would know wife.  Wife. 
I have been with Nobody.  Nobod. 
'tis a lie good man, believe her not, she was not with me.  Man 
And who hath lain with you tonight?  Wife 
Lie with me, why Nobody.  Nobod. 
Oh monstrous, they would make me a whoremaster.  Man 
Well, I do not think but Somebody hath been with you.  Sombo. 
Somebody was indeed.  Wife. 
God's life husband, you do me wrong, I lay with Nobody.  Man. 
Well minion, though Nobody bear the blame,  
Use it no more, lest Somebody bide the shame.  Nobod. 
I will endure no longer in this Climate  
It is so full of slanders, I'll to the City,  
And there perform the deeds of charity.  Enter the 2 man and a prentice. 2 Man. 
Now you rascal, who have you been withal at the alehouse?  Prent. 
Sooth I was with Nobody.  Nobod. 
Not with me.  2 Man. 
And who was drunk there with you?  Prent. 
Sooth Nobody was drunk with me.  Nobod. 
O intolerable! they would make me a drunkard to,  
I cannot endure any longer, I must hence,  
No patience with such scandals can dispense.  2 Man. 
Well sirrah, if I take you so again, I'll so belabour you:  
O neighbour good morrow.  1 man.. 
Good morrow,  2 Man 
You are sad methinks,  1 Man 
Faith sir I have cause, I have lent a friend of mine a hundred pound, and have nobody's word for the payment, bill, nor bond, nor any thing to show.  2 Man. 
Have you nobody's word, I'll assure you that Nobody is a good man, a good man I assure you neighbour, Nobody will keep his word, nobody's word is as good as his bond.  1 Man 
ay, say you so, nay then let's drink down sorrow,  
If none would lend, than Nobody should borrow.  Nobody 
Yet there's one keeps a good tongue in his head,  
That can give Nobody a good report,  
I am beholding to him for his praise:  
But since my man so much commends the City,  
I'll thither, and to purchase me a name,  
Take a large house of infinite receipt,  
There keep a table for all good spirits,  
And all the chimneys shall cast smoke at once:  
There I'll give scholars pensions, poet's gold,  
Arts their deserts, Philosophy due praise,  
Learning his merit, and all worth his meed.  
There I'll release poor prisoners from their dungeons.  
Pay Creditors the debts of other men,  
And get myself a name 'mongst Citizens,  
That after times partakers of all bliss,  
May thus record, Nobody did all this.  
Country farewell, whose slanderous tongues I sly,  
The City now shall lift my name on high.  Somebody 
Whether I'll follow thee with Swallows wings,  
And nimble expedition, there to raise  
New brawls and rumours to eclipse thy praise.  
Those subtle, sly insinuating fellows  
Whom Somebody hath sent into the country,  
To rack, transport, extort, and to oppress,  
Will I call home, and all their wits employ  
Against this public Benefactor, known  
Honest, for all the rumours by us sown.  
But howsoever, I am sworn his foe,  
And opposite to all his meriting deeds,  
This way must do, though my divining thoughts  
This augury amidsts their changes have,  
That Somebody will at length be proved a knave.  Exeunt. Enter Queen, sycophant, and Lady Elidure severally. Sicoph. 
Good day to you both fair Ladies,  
But fairest of them both my gracious Queen,  
Good day to your high Majesty, and madam  
The royal Lady of great Elidure,  
My sovereign's brother, unto you I wish  
This morning prove as gracious and as good.  Queen 
Those greetings from the Lady Elidure  
Would pleasingly sound in our princely ears.  Lady 
Such greetings from great Archigallo's queen  
Would be most gracious to our princely ear.  Queen. 
What no good morrow and our grace so near.  
Reach me my glove.  Lady. 
Whom speaks this woman to?  Queen. 
Why to my subject, to my waiting maid,  
Am not I mighty Archigallo's queen?  
Is not my Lord the royal English King,  
Thy husband and thyself my servitors?  Lady 
Is my Coach ready, where are all my men  
That should attend upon our awful frown,  
What not one near?  Queen. 
Minion, my glove.  Sicoph. 
Madam, her highness glove.  Lady. 
My scarf is fallen, one of you reach it up.  Queen. 
You hear me.  Lady 
Painted Majesty be gone,  
I am not to be counterchecked by any.  Quee. 
Shall I bear this?  Sicoph. 
Be patient, I will school her.  
Your excellence greatly forgets yourself  
To be so dutiless unto the Queen,  
I have seen the world, I know what 'tis to obey,  
And to command. What if it please the Queen  
That you her subject should attend on her,  
And take her glove up, is it meet that I  
Should stoop for yours? You're proud, fie, fie, you're proud.  
This must not be twixt such two royal sisters  
As you by marriage are; go to submit,  
Her Majesty is easy to forgive.  Lady. 
Saucy Lord forbear, there's for your exhortation.  Queen. 
I cannot bear this, 'tis insufferable,  
I'll to the King, and if he save thy life  
He shall have mine: madness and wrath attend,  
My thoughts are leveled at a bloody end.  Exit. Lady. 
she's shadow,  
We the true substance are: follow her those  
That to our greatness dare themselves oppose.  Enter Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan and Malgo. Cornw. 
Health to your Ladyship, I would say Queen  
If I might have my mind, by'r lady Lady.  Mart. 
I had a suit unto the King with this Lord  
For the great office of high Seneschal,  
Because of our good service to the state,  
But he in scorn, as he doth every thing,  
Hath ta'en it from us both, and gin't a fool.  Morg. 
To a sycophant, a courtly parasite.  Sicoph. 
Bear witness Madam, I'll go tell the King  
That they speak treason.  Malgo. 
Pass upon our swords,  
You old exchequer of all flattery,  
I tell thee Archigallo shall be deposed,  
And thou disrobed of all thy dignity.  Sicoph. 
I hope not so.  Cornw. 
See here the counsel's hands,  
Subscribed to Archigallo's overthrow.  
The names of sixteen royal English Peers,  
joined in a league that is inviolate,  
And nothing wants but elidurus' grant  
To accept the kingdom when the deed is done.  Sicoph. 
Nay then I'll take your parts, and join with you.  Mart. 
We will not have a clawback's hand commixed  
With such heroic peers.  Sicoph. 
I hope my Lady  
Is not of their minds. My most gracious Queen,  
What I did speak in reprehensive sort,  
Was more because her Majesty was present  
Then any offence of yours, and so esteem it,  
God knows I love your highness, and these Lords.  Lady 
Which of you will persuade my Elidure  
To take upon him England's royalty.  Mart. 
Madam, we all have so importuned him,  
Laying unto his judgement every thing  
That might attract his senses to the crown,  
But he frost brained will not be obtained  
To take upon him this realms government.  Malg. 
He is the very soul of lenity,  
If ever moderation lived in any,  
Your Lord with that rich virtue is possessed.  Lady 
This mildness in him makes me so despised  
By the proud Queen, and by her favourites.  Enter Elidure. Cornw. 
See madam where he comes reading a book.  Lady 
My Lord and husband, with your leave this book  
Is fitter for an University  
Then to be looked on, and the Crown so near:  
You know these Lords for tyranny have sworn  
To banish Archigallo from the throne,  
And to invest you in the royalty:  
Will you not thank them, and with bounteous hands  
Sprinkle their greatness with the names of Earls,  
Dukes, Marquesses, and other higher terms.  Elid. 
My dearest love, the essence of my soul,  
And you my honoured Lords, the suit you make,  
Though it be just for many wrongs imposed,  
Yet unto me it seems an injury.  
What is my greatness by my brother's fall,  
But like a starved body nourished  
With the destruction of the other limbs.  
Innumerable are the griefs that wait  
On hoarded treasures, then much more on Crowns:  
The middle path, the golden mean for me,  
Leave me obedience, take you Majesty.  Lady. 
Why this is worser to my lofty mind,  
Than the late checks given by the angry Queen.  Corn. 
If you refuse it, know we are determined  
To lay it else where.  Lady. 
On your younger brother,  
And then no doubt we shall be awed indeed,  
When the ambition of the elders wife,  
Can scarcely give our patience any bounds:  
England is sick of pride and tyranny,  
And in thy goodness only to be cured.  
Thou art called forth amongst a thousand men,  
To minister this sovereign Antidote,  
To amend thy brother's cruelty with love,  
And if thou wilt not from oppression free  
Thy native Country, thou art wild as he.  Elid. 
I had rather stay his leisure to amend.  Lady. 
Men, heaven, gods, devils, what power should I invoke,  
To fashion him a new: thunder come down,  
Crown me with ruin, since not with a Crown.  Cornw. 
Long life unto the Kingly Elidure,  
Trumpets proclaim it whether he will or no.  Lady. 
For that conceit Lords, you have won my heart,  
In his despite let him be straight ways Crowned,  
That I may triumph whilst the trumpets sound.  Elid. 
Carry me to my grave, not to a Throne.  Lady. 
Help Lords to seat him, nay help every one:  
So should the Majesty of England sit,  
Whilst we in like state do associate him.  Elid. 
Never did any less desire to reign  
Then I, heaven knows this greatness is my pain.  Lady. 
Pain me in this sort great Lords every day,  
'tis sweet to rule.  Elid. 
'tis sweeter to obey.  Cornw. 
Live King of England long and happily,  
As long and happily your Highness live.  Lady. 
We thank you Lords, now call in the deposed,  
Him and his proud Queen, bring unto our sight,  
That in her wrongs we may have our delight.  Enter Archigallo, and his Queen bound. Archi. 
Betrayed, ta'en prisoner, and by those that owe  
To me their duty, and allegiance:  
My brother the usurper of the Crown,  
Oh this is monstrous, most insufferable.  Elid. 
Good brother grieve not, 'tis against my will,  
That I am made a King, pray take my place,  
I had rather be your subject than your Lord.  Lady. 
So had not I, sit still my gracious Lord,  
Whilst I look through this Tyrant with a frown,  
Minion reach up my glove.  Queen. 
Thinkst thou because  
Thy husband can dissemble piety,  
And therein hath deposed my royal Lord,  
That I am lesser in estate than Queen?  
No thine own answer lately given to me,  
I thus revet, stoop thou proud Queen for me.  Sicoph. 
Nay, then as I did lately to her Highness,  
I must admonish you, dejected Lady  
You do forget yourself, and where you are,  
Duty is debt, and it is fit since now  
You are a subject, to bear humble thoughts:  
Follow my counsel Lady and submit,  
Her Majesty no doubt will pardon it.  Queen. 
There's for your pains.  Sicoph. 
Which way soe'er I go,  
I have it here, whether it ebb or flow.  Lady. 
That pride of thine shall be thy overthrow.  
And thus I sentence them.  Elid. 
Leave that to me?  Lady. 
No you are too mild, judgement belongs to me:  
Thou Archigallo for thy tyranny,  
For ever be excluded from all rule,  
And from thy life.  Elid. 
Not from his life I pray.  Lady. 
He unto whom the greatest wrongs are done,  
Dispatch him quickly.  Morg. 
That will I.  Maglo. 
Or I.  Elid. 
And therein Lords effect my tragedy.  Lady. 
Why strike you not, oh 'tis a dangerous thing,  
To have a living subject of a King:  
Much treason may be wrought, when in his death,  
Our safety is secured.  Elid. 
Banish him rather, oh sweet spare his life,  
He is my brother.  Archi. 
Crowned, and pray thy wife.  Elid. 
Oh brother, if you roughly speak, I know  
There is no hope but your sure overthrow,  
Pray be not angry with me for my love:  
To banishment since it must needs be so,  
His life I give him whosoe'er says no.  Lady. 
What and his Ladies to.  Elid. 
I hers and all.  Lady. 
But I'll not have you banished with the King,  
No Minion no, since you must live, be assured  
I'll make thee meanest of my waiting Maids.  Queen. 
I scorn thy pride.  Archi. 
Farewell deceiving state,  
Pride making Crown, my dearest wife farewell:  
I have been a Tyrant, and I'll be so still.  Exit. Elid. 
Alas my brother.  Lady. 
Dry up childish tears,  
And to these Lords that have invested you,  
Give gracious looks, and honourable deeds.  Elid. 
Give them my Crown, oh give them all I have,  
Thy Throne I reckon but a glorious grave.  Lady. 
Then from myself these dignities receive,  
The Island wrested from you I restore,  
See it be given them back Lord sycophant.  
The office of high Seneschal bereft you,  
My Lord of Cornwell to your grace we give.  
You Martianus be our Treasurer,  
And if we find you faithful, be assured  
You shall not want preferment at our hands.  
Mean time this office we impose on you,  
Be Tutor to this Lady, and her pride  
With your learned principles whereof you are full  
Turn to humility, or vex her soul,  Queen. 
Torment on torment, tutored by a fool.  Sicoph. 
Madam, it is her Highness will be pleased.  Lady. 
Young Peridurus and Vigenius, Lords  
Release from prison, and because your King,  
Is mightily affected unto York,  
Thither dismiss the Court incontinent.  Sicoph. 
Shall it be so my Liege.  Lady. 
Are not we King.  
His silence says it, and what we ordain,  
Who dares make question of: this day for ever  
through our reign beheld a festival:  
And triumph Lords that England is set free,  
From a vild tyrant and his cruelty:  Elid. 
On to our funeral, 'tis no matter where,  
I sin I know in suffering pride so near.  Exeunt. Enter Nobody, and the Clown. Nobody. 
Ahem boy, Nobody is sound yet for all his troubles.  Clow. 
And so is nobody's man for all his whipping, but Master we are now in the City, walled about from slander, there cannot a lie come in but it must run through brick, or get the goodwill of the warders, whose brown bills look blue upon all passengers.  Nobody. 
O this City, if Nobody live to be as old again, be it spoken in secret, I'll have fenced about with a wall of brass.  Clown. 
Of nobody's making, that will be rare.  Nobody. 
I'll bring the Thames through the middle of it, empty More-ditch at my own charge, and build up Paul's-steeple without a collection. I see not what becomes of these collections.  Clown. 
Why Nobody receives them.  Nobody. 
I knave?  Clown. 
You knave: or as the world goes, Somebody receives all, and Nobody is blamed for it.  Nobody. 
But is it rumoured so through out the City.  Clown. 
Do not you know that? there's not an orphans portion lost out of the Chamber, but Nobody has got it, no Corn transported without warrant, but Nobody has done it, no goods stolen but by Nobody, no extortion without Nobody: and but that truth will come to light, few wenches got with child, but with Nobody.  Nobody. 
Nay that's by Somebody.  Clown. 
I think Somebody had a hand in't, but Nobody sometimes pays for the nursing of it.  Nobody. 
Indeed I have taken into my charge many a poor infant left to the alms of the wide world, I have helped many a virtuous maid to a good husband, & near desired her maidenhead: redeemed many gentlemen's lands, that have thanked Nobody for it, built Pest-houses, and other places of retirement in the sickness time for the good of the City, and yet Nobody cannot get a good word for his labour.  Clown. 
'tis a mad world Master.  Nobody. 
Yet this mad world shall not make me mad, I am  
All spirit, Nobody let them grieve,  
That scrape for wealth I will the poor relieve,  
Where are the Masters of the several prisons:  
Within and near adjoining to the City,  
That I may spread my charity abroad.  Clown. 
Here they be Sir.  Enter three or four. Nobody. 
Welcome Gentlemen:  
You are they that make poor men householders  
Against their wills, and yet do them no wrong:  
You have the actions, and the cases of your sides,  
Whilst your Tenants in common, want money to fill them.  
How many Gentlemen of less revenues than Nobody,  
Lie in your knight's ward, for want of maintenance.  1 
I am Sir a Keeper of the Counter, and there are in our wards above a hundred poor prisoners, that are like near to come forth without satisfaction.  Nobody. 
But Nobody will be their benefactor. What in yours.  2 
As many as in the other prison.  Nobody. 
There's to release them. What in yours.  3 
Double the number, and in the Jail.  Nobody. 
Talk not of the jail, 'tis full of lime-twigs, lifts, and pickpockets.  1 
Is it your pleasure Sir to free them all.  Nobody. 
All that he in for debt.  2 
Ten thousand pound, and ten to that will not do it.  Nobody. 
Nobody Sir will give a hundred thousand,  
Ten hundred thousand, Nobody will not have a prisoner,  
Because they all shall pray for Nobody.  Clown. 
'tis great pity my Master has Nobody, and so kind a heart.  A noise within. Follow, follow, follow. Nobody. 
What outcries that?  Enter Somebody, with two or three. Somebody. 
That is the gallant, apprehend him straight,  
'tis he that sows sedition in the Land,  
Under the colour of being charitable,  
When search is made for such in every Inn,  
Though I have seen them housed, the Chamberlain  
For gold will answer there is Nobody:  
He for all bankrupts is a common bail,  
And when the execution should be served  
Upon the sureties, they find Nobody:  
In private houses who so apt to lie,  
As those that have been taught by Nobody,  
Servants forgetful of their masters friends,  
Being asked how many were to speak with him  
Whilst he was absent, they say Nobody,  
Nobody breaks more glasses in a house,  
Than all his wealth hath power to satisfy:  
If you will free this City then from shame,  
Seize Nobody, and let him bear the blame.  Const. 
Lay hold upon him.  Nobody. 
What on Nobody, give me my sword, my morglay,  
My friends, you that do know how innocent I am,  
Draw in my quarrel, succour Nobody,  
What Nobody, but Nobody remaining.  Clown. 
Yes Master, I nobody's man.  Nobody. 
Stand to me nobly then, and fear them not,  
Thy Master Nobody, can take no wounds,  
Nobody is no coward, Nobody  
Dares fight withal the world.  Somb. 
Upon them then.  A fight betwixt Somebody and Nobody, Nobody escapes. 
What has he scaped us.  Const. 
He is gone my Lord.  Somb. 
It shall be thus, now you have seen his shape,  
Let him be straight imprinted to the life:  
His picture shall be set on every stall,  
And proclamation made, that he that takes him,  
Shall have a hundred pounds of Somebody,  
Country and City, I shall thus set free,  
And have more room to work my villainy.  Exeunt. Nobody. 
What are they gone, than City now adieu,  
Since I have taken such great injury,  
For my good life within thy government:  
No more will Nobody be charitable,  
No more will Nobody relieve the poor,  
Honour your Lord, and Master Somebody,  
For Somebody is he that wrongs you all.  
I'll to the Court the changing of the air,  
May peradventure change my injuries,  
And if I speed no better being there,  
Yet say that Nobody lived everywhere.  Exit. Enter Archigallo. Archi. 
I was a King, but now I am slave,  
How happy were I in this base estate,  
If I had never tasted royalty:  
But the remembrance that I was a King,  
Unseasons the Content of poverty,  
I hear the hunter's music, here I'll lie,  
To keep me out of sight till they pass by.  Enter Morgan, and Malgo. Morgan. 
The stag is herded, come my Lord  
Shall we to horse and single him again.  Malgo. 
Content, the King will chase, the day is spent  
And we have killed no game, to horse, away.  Exeunt. Enter Elidure. Elid. 
herded, go single him, or couple straight,  
He will not fall today, what fellows this.  Archi. 
I am a man.  Elid. 
A banished man I think,  
My brother Archigallo, be't not so.  Archi. 
'tis so, I am thy brother Elidure,  
All that thou hast is mine, the Crown is mine,  
Thy royalty is mine; these hunting pleasures  
Thou dost usurp: ambitious Elidure  
I was a King.  Elidu. 
And I may be a wretch: poor Archigallo,  
The sight of thee that wert my Sovereign,  
In this estate, draws rivers from mine eyes.  
Will you be king again? if they agree  
I'll redeliver all my royalty,  
Save what a second brother and a subject  
Keeps in an humble bosom, for I swear  
The Crown is yours that Elidure doth wear.  Arch. 
Then give it me; use not the common sleights,  
To pity one, and keep away his right.  
Seest thou these rags, do they become my person?  
O Elidure, take pity on my state,  
Let me not still live thus infortunate.  Elidu. 
Alas, if pity could procure your good,  
Instead of water, I'd weep tears of blood  
To express both love and pity: say dear brother  
I should uncrown myself, the angry Peers  
Will never let me reach the imperial wreath  
To Archigallo's head. There's ancient Cornwell,  
Stout Martianus, Morgan, and bold Malgo,  
From whom you took the pleasant Southern I'll,  
Will never kneel to you: what should I say,  
Your tyranny was cause of your decay.  Arch. 
What shall I die then? welcome be that fate  
Rather than still live in this wretched state.  Enter Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan and Malgo. Corn. 
Yonder's the King; my sovereign you have lost  
The fall of a brave stag, he's dead my liege.  
What fellows this?  Elidu. 
Knowest him not Cornwell?  Corn. 
No my liege not I.  Arch. 
I am thy King.  Elid. 
'tis Archigallo man.  Corn. 
Thou art no king of mine, thou art a traitor,  
Thy life is forfeit by thy stay in Britain.  
Wert thou not banished?  Elidu. 
Noble Cornwell speak  
More gently, or my piteous heart will break,  
Lord Martianus, Morgan, and the rest,  
I am a weary of my government,  
And willingly resign it to my brother.  Mart. 
Your brother was a tyrant, and my knee  
Shall never bow to wrong and tyranny.  Elid. 
Yet look upon his misery, his tears  
Argue repentance; think not honoured Lords  
The fear of dangers waiting on my Crown  
Makes me so willing to resign the same,  
For I am loved I know, but justice bids  
I make a resignation, 'tis his right,  
My calls but usurpation.  Corn. 
Elidure,  
If you are weary of your government,  
We'll set the Crown upon a stranger's head  
Rather than Archigallo. Hark ye Lords,  
Shall we make him our King we did depose,  
So might our heads be chopped of, I'll lose mine  
Ere my poor Country shall endure such wrongs,  
As that injurious tyrant plagues her with,  Mor. 
Keep still your Crown my Liege, happy is Britain  
Under the government of Elidure.  Arch. 
Let it be so,  
Death is the happy period of all woe.  
The wretch that's torn upon the torturing wrack,  
Feels not more devilish torment then my heart.  
When I but call to mind my tyranny,  
I record heaven my Lords, my brother's fight,  
The pity that he takes of my distress,  
Your love and true allegiance unto him,  
Hath wrought in me a reconciled spirit,  
I do confess my sin, and freely say,  
I did deserve to be deposed.  Elidu. 
Alas good Prince, my honourable Lords,  
Be not flint-hearted, pity Archigallo,  
I know his penitential words proceed  
From a remorseful spirit, I'll engage  
My life upon his righteous government.  
Good Cornwell, gentle Martianus, speak,  
Shall Archigallo be your king again?  Arch. 
By heaven I not desire it.  Elidu. 
See my Lords,  
he's not ambitious, as thou lov'st me Cornwell,  
As thou didst love our Father, let his son  
Be righted, give him back the government  
You took from him.  Corn. 
What should I say? faith I shall fall a weeping:  
Therefore speak you.  Elid. 
Lord Martianus speak.  Mart. 
What say these Lords that have been wronged by him.  Elidu. 
Morgan and Malgo, all I have in Britain  
Shall be engaged to you, that Archigallo  
Will never more oppress you, nor impose  
Wrong on the meanest subject in the Land.  Morg. 
Then we'll embrace his government.  Elidu. 
Says Malgo so?  Malg. 
I do my Lord.  Elidu. 
What says Martianus?  Mart. 
Faith as my Lord of Cornwell.  Corn. 
I say that I am sorry he was bad.  
And now am glad he's changed; his wickedness  
We punished, and his goodness there's great reason  
Should be rewarded; therefore Lords set on  
To York then, to his Coronation.  Elidu. 
Then happy Elidurus, happy day  
That takes from me a kingdoms cares away.  Arch. 
And happy Archigallo that have ranged  
From sin, to sin, and now at last am changed.  
My Lords and friends, the wrongs that you have seen  
In me, my future virtues shall redeem.  
Come gentle brother, pity that should rest  
In women most, is harboured in thy breast.  Exeunt. Enter Queen, Lady Elidure, and Flatterer. Lady 
Come have you done your task, now do you see  
What 'tis to be so proud of Majesty,  
We must take up your glove, and not be thought  
Worthy the name of Sister, thus you minx  
I'll teach you ply your work, and thank me to,  
This pains will be your own another day.  Queen. 
Insulting, overproud, ambitious woman,  
Queen I disdain to call thee, thou dost wrong  
Thy brother's wife, indeed thy Kings espoused,  
And manger all thy tyranny I swear,  
Rather than still live thus, I'll perish here.  Sicoph. 
You are not wise, dejected as you are  
To bandy braves against her Majesty,  
You must consider you are now her subject,  
Your tongue is bounded by the awe of duty,  
Fie, fie, I needs must chide you, since I see  
You are so saucy with her sovereignty.  Queen. 
Time was base spaniel thou didst fawn as much  
On me, as now thou strivest to flatter her:  
O God, that one borne noble should be so base,  
His generous blood to scandal all his race.  Lady 
My Lord, if she continue these proud terms,  
I give you liberty to punish her.  
I'll not maintain my prisoner and my slave  
To rail 'gainst any one that honours me.  Enter Morgan and Malgo. Morg. 
Health to the Queen, and happiness to her  
That must change states with you, and once more reign  
Queen of this Land.  Queen 
Speak that again, o I will bless my fate,  
If once more I supply my former state.  Malgo. 
Long may your highness live, your banished Lord  
Is by his brother Elidurus seated  
Once more in Britain's throne.  Lady 
O I could tear my hair, base Elidure  
To wrong himself, and make a slave of me.  Queen 
Now minion, I'll cry quittance with your pride,  
And make you stoop at our imperial side:  
But tell me Morgan by what accident  
You met with my beloved Archigallo?  Morg. 
even in the woods where we did hunt the stag,  
There did the tender hearted Elidure  
Meet his distressed Brother, and so wrought  
By his importunate speech with all his Peers,  
That after much denial, yet at last  
They yielded their allegiance to your Lord,  
Whom now we must acknowledge our dread King,  
And you our princely Queen.  Lady 
Thou screech-owl, Raven, ugly throated slave;  
There's for thy news.  Queen 
Restrain her good my Lord.  Sicoph. 
Fie madam fie, fore God you are too blame  
In presence of my sovereign lady Queen  
To be thus rude, it would become you better  
To show more duty to her Majesty.  Lady. 
O monstrous, was not I thy Queen but now.  Sicoph. 
Yes, when your husband was my King you were.  
But now the stream is turned, and the state's currant,  
Runs all to Archigallo, blame not me,  
Wisdom near loved declined Majesty.  Enter Archigallo crowned, Elidure, Peridure, Vigenius, Cornwell, Martianus, and others. Queen. 
Welcome from banishment my loving Lord,  
Your kingly presence wraps my soul to heaven.  Arch. 
To heaven, and my kind brother Elidure,  
Fair Queen we owe chief thanks for this our greatness,  
Next them, these honourable Lords.  Corn. 
Great Queen,  
Once more the tribute of our bended knees  
We pay to you, and humbly kiss your hand.  Mart. 
So doth Martianus.  Perid. 
And I.  Vige. 
And I.  Queen. 
Our brothers, by how much that name exceeds  
The name of Lord, so much the more this duty  
Deserves requital, thanks both, and thanks to all.  Arch. 
Set on there.  Exeunt all but Lady & sycophant Sicoph. 
Madam, you are not wise to grieve at that  
Heaven hath decreed, and the state yielded to,  
No doubt her Majesty will use you well.  Lady 
Well sayest thou: no I look that she should treble  
All the disgraces I have laid on her.  
I shall turn Laundress now, and learn to starch,  
And set and poke, and pocket up such baseness  
As never princess did: did you observe  
What looks I cast at Elidure my husband?  Sicoph. 
Your looks declared the passion of your heart,  
They were all fire.  Lady. 
Would they had burnt his eyes out  
That hath eclipsed our state and Majesty.  Enter Queen, Morgan, and Malgo. Queen. 
Bring hither the proud wife of Elidure,  Sicop. 
It shall be done.  Queen 
Our shoe string is untied, stoop minion, stoop.  Lady 
I'll rather stoop to death thou moon-like Queen,  
New changed, and yet so proud: there's those are made  
For flexure, let them stoop, thus much I'll do,  
You are my Queen, 'tis but a debt I owe.  Queen 
Bring me the work there, I will task you to,  
That by the hour spin it, I charge you do.  Lady 
A distaff and a spindle, so indeed  
I told you this, Diana be my speed.  Morg. 
Yet for his Princely worth that made you Queen  
Respect her as the wife of Elidure.  Enter Cornwell. Cornw. 
Where's the Queen?  Queen 
What news with Cornwell, why so sad my Lord?  Corn. 
Your husband on the sudden is fallen sick.  Queen. 
How; sick.  Lady 
Now if it be thy will, sweet blessed heaven  
Take him to mercy.  Quee. 
Do not hear her prayers heaven I beseech thee.  Enter Martianus. Mart. 
Madam, his highness.  Queen. 
Is he alive, or dead.  Mart. 
Dead madam.  Queen 
O my heart.  Corn. 
Look to the Queen, let us not lose her to,  
She breathes, stand of, where be those women there,  
Good Queen that shall be, lends a helping hand,  
Help to unlace her.  Lady. 
I'll see her burst first.  Queen 
Now as you love me let no helping hand  
Preserve life in me, I had rather die  
Then lose the title of my sovereignty.  Lady 
Take back your Distaff yet, we'll stay our rage,  
We will forbear our spleen for charity  
And love unto the dead, till you have hearsed  
Your husband's bones, conduct her Lords away,  
Our pride though eager, yet for food shall stay.  Sicoph. 
willt please your high imperial Majesty  
Command my service, I am humbly yours.  Lady 
We do command what we well know you'll do,  
Follow the stronger part, and cleave thereto.  Exeunt. Enter Elidure crowned, all the Lords and ladies' attendants. Elidu. 
Once more our royal temples are ingirt  
With Britain's golden wreath, all seeing heaven  
Witness I not desire this sovereignty,  
But since this kingdoms good, and your Decrees,  
Have laid this heaven load of common care  
On Elidure, we shall discharge the same  
To your content, I hope, and this Land's fame:  
Our brother once interred, we will not stay,  
But then to Troynovant we'll speed, away.  Exeunt. Enter two Porters. 1 Porter 
Come fellow Porter, now the Court is here  
Our gains will fly upon us like a tide,  
Let us make use of time, and whilst there's plenty  
Stirring in Court, still labour to increase  
The wealth which by our office we have got.  2 Porter. 
Out of our large allowance we must save  
Of thousands that pass by us, and our office,  
we will give entertainment to Nobody.  Enter Nobody. Nobody. 
My name is Nobody,  1. Port. 
You are welcome sir, ere you peruse the court,  
Taste the king's beer, here at the porter's lodge,  
A dish of beer for master Nobody.  Nobody. 
I thank you sir.  2. Port. 
Here master Nobody, with all my heart,  
A full Carouse, and welcome to our Office.  Nobo. 
I thank you sir, and were your beer tems water,  
Yet Nobody would pledge you, to you sir.  1. Port. 
You are a stranger here, how in the City,  
Have you been long in town.  Nobo. 
ay sir, too long, unless my entertain  
Had been more pleasing, for my life is sought,  
I am a harmless well disposed plain man,  
That injure none, yet whatsoe'er is done  
Amiss in London, is imposed on me,  
Be it lying, secret theft, or any thing  
They call abuse, 'tis done by Nobody,  
I am pursued by all, and now am come,  
To see what safety is within the Court  
For a plain fellow.  2. Por. 
You are welcome hither sir.  
Methinks you do look wild, as if you wanted sufficient Sleep.  Nobo. 
O do not blame me sir,  
Being pursued I fled, coming though Paul's,  
There Nobody kneeled down to say his prayers,  
And was devout I wis, coming through Fleetstreet,  
There at a tavern door two swaggerers  
Were fighting, being attached, 'twas asked who gave  
The first occasion, 'twas answered nobody,  
The guilt was laid on me, which made me fly  
To the Thames' side, desired a Waterman,  
To row me thence away to Charing-Cross,  
He asked me for his fare, I answered him  
I had no money, what's your name quoth he,  
I told him Nobody, than he bade me welcome,  
Said he would carry Nobody for nothing.  
From thence I went  
To see the law Courts held at Westminster,  
There meeting with a friend, I straight was asked  
If I had any suit, I answered, yes,  
Marry I wanted money, sir quoth he,  
For you, because your name is Nobody  
I will solicit law, and nobody  
Assure yourself, shall thrive by suits in Law,  
I thanked him, and so came to see the court,  
Where I am very much beholding to your kindness.  1. Port. 
And Master nobody you are very welcome,  
Good fellow lead him to the Hall,  
Will you walk near the court.  nobo. 
I thank you sir.  Exeunt nobody and Porters. Enter Somebody and a Braggart. Som. 
Fie what a toil it is to find out nobody,  
I have dogged him very close, yet he is got into the court before me.  
Sir you have sworn to fight with nobody,  
Do you stay here, and watch at the court gate,  
And when you meet him challenge him the field,  
Whilst I set Lime-twigs for him in all Offices,  
If either you or I, but prosper right,  
He needs must fall by policy or slight.  Exit. Brag: 
I would this roundman nobody would come,  
I that profess much valour yet have none,  
Cannot but be too hard for nobody,  
For what can be in nobody, unless  
He be so called because he is all spirit,  
Or say he be all spirit, wanting limbs,  
How can this spirit hurt me, sure he dies,  
And by his death, my fame shall mount the skies.  Enter nobody. nobody. 
By thy leave my sweet friend,  
There's for thy farewell.  Brag. 
Stay.  nobo. 
That's but one word, let two go to the bargain if it please you, why should I stay.  Brag. 
I challenge thee.  no. 
I may choose whither i'll answer your challenge by your leave.  Bra. 
I'll have thee pictured as thy picture, unless thou answer me  no. 
For what sir, pray why would you have me printed.  Brag. 
For cowardice.  nobo. 
Methinks your picture would do better for the picture of cowardice than mine sir, but pray what's your will with me.  Brag. 
Thou hast abused one Somebody,  nobo. 
So have my betters abused Somebody in their time  Brag. 
I'll fight with thee for that.  no. 
Alas sir I am nobody at fighting, yet thus much let me tell you, nobody cannot run away, I cannot budge.  Brag. 
Prepare thee then, for I will spit thy body upon this weapon.  nobo. 
nay by faith that you cannot, for I have nobody.  Brag. 
Thy bowels then.  no. 
They are the fairer mark a great deal, come on sir, come on  Brag. 
Have at thy belly.  nobo. 
You must either hit that or nothing.  Brag. 
I'll kill and quarter thee.  nobo. 
You'll hardly find my joints I think to quarter me,  
I am so well fed, come on sir.  Fight nobody is down, Brag. 
now thou art at my mercy.  no. 
What are you the better to have nobody at your mercy  Brag. 
I'll kill thee now.  Nobo. 
I think you'll sooner kill me then anybody,  
But let me rise again.  Brag. 
No I will let Nobody rise.  Nobo. 
Why then let me sir, I am Nobody,  Enter Clown. Clown. 
How now, O fates, O heavens, is not that my M.  
what shall I do, be valiant▪ and rescue my sweet master,  
avant thou Pagan, Pug, whate'er thou be,  
Behold I come to set thy prisoner free.  Brag. 
Fortune that giddy Goddess hath turned her wheel,  
I shall be matched, thus will I gore you both. Hold captains,  
not Hercules himself would fight with two, I yield.  Clown. 
'twas your best course, down vassal down, and kiss  
My pump.  Brag. 
'tis base, O base.  Clow. 
Zounds, i'll nail thy lips to limbo unless thou kiss.  Brag. 
'tis done.  Nobo. 
Thanks honest servant.  Clow. 
Zounds if I say I'll do't, I'll do't indeed.  Nobo. 
For this i'll carry thee into the Court,  
Where thou shalt see thy Master Nobody  
Hath friends will bid him welcome, so farewell,  Clown. 
Farewell master Braggart, farewell, farewell.  Exeunt. Brag. 
I'll follow, I shall meet with Somebody,  
That will revenge, i'll plot and er't be long  
I'll be revenged on Nobody for this wrong.  Exit. Enter Vigenius Peridure and the Queen. Queen. 
Your hopes are great fair brothers, and your names, shall if in this you be advised by us,  
Be ranked in scroll of all the British kings,  
Oh take upon you this so weighty charge,  
too great to be discharged by Elidure.  Vig. 
Dear sister Q. how are we bound to you,  
In nearer bonds than a fraternal league,  
For this your royal practice to raise us,  
Unto the height of honour and estate,  
Let me no longer breathe a prince on earth,  
Or think me worthy of your regal blood,  
If we embrace not this high motion.  Perid. 
Embrace it brother, we are all on speed,  
My princely thought inflamed with Ardency  
Of this imperial state, and sceptered rule,  
My kingly brows, itch for a stately Crown,  
This hand to bear a round Monarchal Globe,  
This the bright sword of justice, and stern awe,  
Dear sister you have made me all on fire,  
My kingly thoughts, beyond their bounds aspire.  Vig. 
How shall we quit your love, when we ascend  
The state of Elydure.  Queen. 
All that I crave,  
Is but to make the imperious Queen my slave,  
That she that above justice now commands,  
May taste new thraldom at our royal hands.  Perid. 
The Queen is yours, the king shallbe deposed,  
And she disgraded from all Sovereignty.  Queen. 
That I might live to see that happy hour,  
To have that stern commandress in my power.  Vig. 
she's doomed already, and at your dispose,  
And we prepared for speedy execution,  
Of any plot that may avail our pomp,  
Or throne us in the state of Brittany.  Enter Morgan and Mallgo. Perid. 
Here comes the Lords of this pretended league,  
How goes our hope, speak valiant English Peers,  
Are we in way of Sovereignty, or still stand we  
Subjects unto the awe of Elidure.  Mor. 
Long live the valiant brothers of the King,  
With mutual love to wear the British Crown,  
Two thousand Soldiers have I brought from Wales,  
to wait upon the princely Peridure.  Malg. 
As many of my bold confederates  
Have I drawn from the South to swear allegiance,  
to young Vigenius.  Vig. 
Do but call me king,  
the charming Spheres so sweetly cannot sing.  Malg, 
To king Vigenius.  Vig. 
Oh but where's our Crown,  
that make knees humble, when their sovereigns frown.  Mal. 
King Elidure's shall his state resign.  Perid. 
Say Morgan so, and Britain's rule is mine.  Mor. 
king Peridure shall reign.  Perid. 
And sit in state.  Mor. 
And thousand subjects on his glory wait.  Perid. 
Then they that lifts us to the imperial seat,  
Our powers and will shall study to make great.  Vig. 
And thou that raisest us, as our best friend,  
Shall as we mount the like degrees ascend.  Queen. 
When will you give the attempt.  Perid. 
Now royal sister.  
Before the king have notice of our plot,  
Before the Lords that love his government,  
Prepare their opposition.  Vig. 
Well determined,  
And like a king in Esse, now this night,  
Let's make a hostile uproar in the Court,  
Surprise the king, make seizure of the Crown,  
Lay hands upon the Counsel, lest they scape  
to levy forces, those Lords  
that serve the king, and with austere reproofs,  
punish the hateful vices of the Land,  
Must not awe us, they shall not reign, we will,  
those that applaud us, raise, despise us, kill,  Perid. 
I see a kind of state appear already  
In thy majestic brow, call in the soldiers,  
Man the Court gates, barricade all the streets,  
Defend the ways, the lands and passages,  
And girt the palace with a treble wall  
Of armed soldiers, and in dead of night,  
When all the peers lie drowned in golden sleep,  
Sound out a sudden and a shrill Alarum,  
to maze them in the midst of horrid dreams.  Vig. 
The king and Crown is ours.  Q. 
The Queen I claim.  Perid. 
It shall go hard, but I the shrew will tame,  
trumpets and drums, your dreadful clamours sound.  Vig. 
Proclaim me captive, or a king new crowned,  Alarum, they watch the doors, Enter at one door Cornwell. Corn 
Treason, treason.  Perid. 
thou art mine whate'er thou be.  Corn 
Prince Peridure.  Perid. 
I Cornwell and thy king.  Corn. 
He discords taught, that taught thee so to sing.  Alarum Enter at another door Martianus. Mar. 
Who stops this passage.  Vig. 
Martianus we.  Mar. 
Vigenius.  Vig. 
unto whom thou owest thy knee.  Mar. 
My knee to none but Elidure shall bend.  Vig. 
Our reign beginning hath when his lines end.  Alarum, Enter at another door Elydure, stopped by the Queen. Lady 
What traitorous hand dares interdict our way?  Queen. 
Why that dare ours, 'tis we command thee stale.  Lady. 
Are we not Queen?  Queen. 
be't you, then happily met,  
I have owed you long, and now I'll pay that debt.  Lady. 
Vild traitoress, darest, thou lay a violent hand on us thy Queen?  Queen. 
We dare command thee stand,  
Thou wast a Queen, but now thou art a slave.  Lady. 
Before such bondage, grant me heaven a grave.  Alarum Enter Elidure. Elidure. 
What seek ye Lords? What mean these loud  
Alarms, in the still silence of this hunnied night?  Perid. 
King we seek thee.  Vig. 
And more we seek thy Crown.  Elidure. 
Why Princely brothers is it not our own,  
That 'tis ours we plead the law of kings,  
The gift of heaven, and the antiquity on earth,  
Election from them both.  Vig. 
We plead our powers & strength, we two must reign.  Perid. 
We were borne to rule, and homage we disdain.  Corn. 
Do not resign, good King.  Perid. 
How saucy Lord?  Corn. 
I'll keep still thy Crown.  Perid. 
I say that word shall cost old Cornwall's life.  Corn. 
Tush this for care.  
tyrant's good subjects kills and traitors spare.  Vig. 
Wilt thou submit thy Crown?  Mar. 
Dread sovereign, no.  Vig. 
He hates his own life that adviseth so.  Mar. 
I hate all traitors, and had rather die,  
Then see such wrong done to his sovereignty.  Queen. 
Give up thy state to these two princely youths, and thy resignment shall preserve thy life.  Lady. 
Wilt thou so much wrong both thyself and wife?  
Hast lived a king, and canst thou die a slave,  
A royal seat, doth ask a royal grave,  
Though thousand swords thy present safety ring,  
Thou that hast been a Monarch, die a king.  Queen. 
Whether he live or die, thou sure shalt be no longer Queen, but vassal unto me, I'll make ye now my drudge.  Lady. 
How minion, thine?  Queen. 
Thart no more Queen, thy husband must resign.  Corn. 
Resign, to whom?  Perid. 
I am one.  Vig. 
And I another.  Lady. 
Canst be so base to see a younger brother,  
Nay two young Boys placed in thy throne of state,  
And thou their sudden in their trains to wait,  
I'll die before I endure it.  Perid. 
So shall all,  
that do not prostrate to our homage fall.  
Shall they not brother king?  Vig. 
They shall by heaven.  Mar. 
Come kill me first.  Corn. 
Nay make the number even,  
And kill me to, for I am pleased to die,  
Rather than this endure.  Lady. 
The third am I.  Queen. 
Nay strike her first.  Perid. 
Rage give my fury way.  Vig. 
Strike valiant brother king.  Elid. 
Yet he are me, stay.  Perid. 
Be brief for God's sake then,  Elidure. 
O heaven, that men so much should covet care,  
Sceptres are golden baits, the outsides fair:  
But he that swallows this sweet sugared pill,  
'twill make him sick with troubles that grow still:  
Alas you seek to ease me being wearied  
And lay my burden on your able loins,  
My unambitious thoughts have been long tired,  
With this great charge, and now they rest desired,  
And see the kind youths coveting my peace,  
Bring me of all these turmoils free release.  
Here take my Crown.  Lady 
Wilt thou be made a stale,  
Shall this proud Woman, and these boys prevail?  
Shall I for them be made a public scorn,  
Oh hadst thou buried been, assoon as borne,  
How happy had I been.  Elid. 
Patience sweet wife,  
Thinkst thou I praise my Crown above thy life,  
No take it Lords, it hath my trouble been,  
And for this Crown, oh give me back my Queen.  Queen. 
Nay she's bestowed on me.  Elydure. 
Then what you please,  
Here take my trouble, and resign your ease.  Sicoph. 
My Lords receive the crown of Elydure,  
Fair hopeful blossoms of our future peace,  
Happy am I, that I but live to see,  
the Land ruled by your double Sovereignty.  Vig. 
Now let the king descend to be disposed of  
At our high pleasure, come give me the Crown.  perid. 
Why you the Crown, good brother more than we.  vig. 
we'll prove it how it fits our kingly temples,  
And how our brow becomes a wreath so fair.  perid. 
Shall I see you crowned, and myself stand bare,  
Rather this wreath majestic let me try,  
And sit enthroned, in pompious Majesty.  vig. 
And I attend, whilst you ascend the throne,  
Where had we right, we should sit crowned alone.  perid. 
Alone, darest thou usurp upon my right.  vig. 
I durst do much, had I but power and might,  
But wanting that, come let us reign together,  
both kings, and yet the rich crown worn by neither.  perid. 
Content, the king doth on our sentence wait,  
To doom him, come let's take our double state,  
What shall he live, or die?  Elid. 
I know not how I should deserve to die.  Lady. 
Yes to let two such usurpers live.  Sicoph. 
Nay Madam, now I needs must tell your grace,  
You wrong these kings, forget both time and place,  
It is not as it was, now you must bow,  
Unto this double state i'll show you how.  Lady. 
Base flattering groom slavish parasite,  Vig. 
Shall I pronounce his sentence.  Perid. 
Brother do.  Vig. 
Thy life we grant thee and that Woman's to,  
But live divided you within the tower,  
You prisoner to that princess.  Lady. 
In her power,  
Oh double slavery.  Perid. 
Convey both hence.  Elid. 
My dooms severer than my small offence.  Queen. 
Come Minion, will you go.  Lady. 
To death, to hell,  
Rather than in thy base subjection dwell.  Vig. 
Cornwell and Martianus you both see,  
We are possessed of this imperial seat,  
And you that were sworn liegemen to the Crown,  
Should now submit to us that owe the same,  
We know without your grave directions,  
We cannot with experience guide the land,  
Therefore we'll study to deserve your loves.  Perid. 
'twas not ambition, or the love of state,  
that drew us to this business, but the fear,  
Of elidurus' weakness whom in zeal,  
To the whole land we have deposed this day,  
speak, shall we have your loves?  corn. 
My lords, and Kings,  
'tis bootless to contend 'gainst heaven and you,  
Since without our consent the kings deposed,  
And we unable to support his fall,  
Rather than the whole land should shrink,  
You shall have my assistance in the state.  Mar. 
Cornwell and I will bear the self same state.  Perid. 
We now are Kings indeed and Britain sway,  
When Cornwell and his brother Vive say  Vig. 
Receive our grace, keep still your offices,  
Embrace these peers that raised us to the throne,  
Britain rejoice, and Crown this happy year,  
Two sons at once thine in thy royal sphere.  Corn. 
And that's prodigious, I but wait the time  
To see their sudden fall that swiftly climb.  Mar. 
My Lord much honour might you win your land  
To give release unto your sister Queen,  
Being a Lady in the land beloved.  Vig. 
You have advised us well, it shall be so.  Corn. 
Should you set free the Princess might not she  
Make uproars in the land, and raise the Commons.  
In the releasement of the Captive King.  Perid. 
Well counselled Cornwell, she shall live in bondage.  Mar. 
Renown yourself by being kind to her.  Corn. 
Secure your state by her imprisonment.  Vig. 
we'll have the Queen set free.  Perid. 
we'll have her guarded,  
With stricter keeping and severer charge.  Mar. 
Will you be braved by one that's but your equal,  
Having no more than party government.  Corn. 
Or you be scorned by one to you inferior,  
In general estimation of the land.  vig. 
Set free the Princess, say the king commands.  Perid. 
Keep her in thraldom still, and captive bands.  vig. 
we'll not be countermanded.  perid. 
Sir nor we.  vig. 
Before I'll be half a king and controlled  
In any regality, i'll hazard all,  
I'll be complete or none.  Perid. 
Before i'll stand,  
Thus for a Cipher with my half command,  
I'll venture all my fortunes, how now pride,  
Perched on my upperhand.  Corn. 
By heaven well spied.  vig. 
'tis ours by right, and right we will enjoy.  perid. 
Claimest thou pre-eminence, come down proud boy  vig. 
Then let's try masteries, and one conquer all,  
We climbed at once, and we at once will fall.  They wrestle and are parted peri. 
They that love Peridure divide themselves upon their part.  Corn. 
That am I.  Mor. 
and I.  vig. 
They that love us on this side.  Mar. 
I.  Mal. 
And I.  vig. 
Then to the field, to set our sister free.  perid. 
By all my hopes with her i'll captive thee.  vig. 
Trumpets and Drums, triumphant music sing.  perid. 
this day a captive, or a complete king.  Exeunt. Alarum, Enter Somebody and sycophant. Somb. 
Sir you have sworn to manage these affairs,  
Even with your best of judgement.  Enter Clown. Sicoph. 
I have provided, you will let me share,  
Of the Grand-benefit you get by dice,  
Deceitful Cards, and other cozening games  
you bring into the Court.  C. 
O rare, now shall I find out crab, some notable knavery  Somb. 
You shall have equal share with Somebody,  
Provided, you will help to apprehend that Nobody,  
On whom the guilt shall lie,  
Of all those cheating tricks I have devised.  C. 
O the fates, treason against my m. person, but I believe  
Somb. will pay for't, I'll tickle your long waist for this i'faith,  Sico. 
Give me some bales of dice. What are these?  som. 
Those are called high Fulloms.  Clo. 
I'll Fullom you for this.  som. 
Those low Fulloms.  C. 
They may chance bring you as high as the Gallows.  som. 
Those Demi-bars.  clow. 
Great reason you should come to the bar before the gallows.  som. 
Those bar Sizeaces.  Clo. 
A couple of Asses indeed.  som. 
Those Bristle dice.  clo. 
'tis like they bristle, for I am sure they'll breed anger  sicop. 
Now sir, as you have compassed all the Dice,  
So I for cards. These for the game at maw,  
All saving one, are Cut next under that,  
Lay me the Ace of Hearts, then cut the Cards,  
O your fellow must needs have it in his first trick.  clow. 
I'll teach you a trick for this i'faith.  sicop. 
these for Premero cut upon the sides,  
As the other on the ends.  clow. 
Mark the end of all this.  sicop. 
these are for post and pair, these for saunt,  
these for new cut.  clown. 
they'll make you cut a feather one day,  sico. 
Well, these dispersed, and Nobody  
Attached for all these crimes, shallbe hanged.  clow. 
I or else you shall hang for him,  sico. 
Come, shall's about our business.  som. 
Content, let's straight about it.  Exeunt clow. 
O my heart, that it was my fortune to hear all this, but beware a lucky man whilst you live, Alas if I had not rescued my master, the swaggering fellow would have made Nobody of him. Again if I had not overheard this treason to his person, these coney-catching knaves, would have made less than Nobody of him. For indeed they would have hanged him, but here's my master, O sweet master how cheer you?  Enter Nobody. Nobo. 
O excellent, admirable, and beyond comparison, I think my shape enchants them.  clo. 
I think not so, for if I were a Lady, I should never abide you: but Master, I can tell you rare news you must be apprehended, for a Cheater, a Cozener, a libeller, and I know not what.  Nobo. 
Not I, I am an innocent, no Cheater, no Cozener, but a simple honest man, hunted from place to place by somebody.  clo. 
'tis true sir, it is one some. that would attach you, therefore  
Look to yourself, but Mai. if you be took never fear,  
I heard all their knavery, and I can clear you I warrant.  Enter Somebody and officers. Som. 
O have I found you, this is he my friends,  
We have long sought, you know when 'twas enquired,  
Who brought the false Dice, and the cheating cards  
Into the court, 'twas answered Nobody.  Clo. No. 
( qd than) I am afraid you'll prove the knave some.  som. 
Lay hold upon him, bear him to the prison.  No. 
To prison, say you well, if I be guilty this fellow is my partner take him to.  som. 
Are you confederate in this treason sirrah?  clo. 
If I be not sir somebody is, but if I be guilty I must bear  
If off with head and shoulders.  som. 
To prison with them, now the bird is caught,  
For whom so long, through Britain have I sought.  Clow. 
I believe I have a bird in a box, shall catched you for all this.  Someb. 
Away with them I say.  Exeunt. Enter severally Peridure, Vigenius, Cornewell, Martianus, Morgan, Malgo, with drum and Colours. Vig. 
In Arms well met, ambitious Peridure,  Perid. 
Vigenius thou salutes me with a title,  
Most proper to thyself,  Vig. 
Art thou not proud.  Perid. 
Only to meet thee on this bed of death,  
Wherein the Title to the English Crown,  
Shall perish with thyself.  Vig. 
Fair is the end  
Of such as die in honourable war,  
Oh far more fair, then on a bed of down.  Mar. 
War is the soldiers harvest it cuts down.  Perid. 
The lives of such as hinder our renown.  Vig. 
Such as are apt for tumult.  Perid. 
Such as you,  
That to our lawful Sovereign are untrue.  Vig. 
Blushes not Peridure to brave us so.  Perid. 
Blushes Vigenius at thy overthrow,  
Who was't that told me he would submit.  Sicoph. 
'twas I my Lord.  Vig. 
Peace fool thou dost forget,  
'tis not an hour since, to our princely ear,  
Thou saidst thou did desire us to forbear.  Sicoph. 
True my good Lord.  Perid. 
True that I sought to stay.  vig. 
That I would basely my rich hopes betray.  Sico. 
I did it of mine own head to make you friends.  Perid. 
Still playing of the sycophant.  Vig. 
What still.  Perid. 
A gloze I see to insinuate our good will.  Vig. 
That whosoever conquered, he might gain.  Perid. 
the favour of us both, that was his train.  Vig. 
But henceforth we cashier thee from the filled.  Perid 
Never hereafter bear a soldiers shield,  
A soldiers sword, nor any other grace,  
But what is like thine own, a double face.  sicoph. 
Now I beseech jove hear my prayer, let them be both slain in the battle.  Exit. Perid. 
If there be any other of his heart,  
We give them free licence to depart.  corn. 
Cornwell hates flattery.  Mar. 
So does Martianus.  Malg. 
Malgo is resolute for all affairs.  Morg. 
And so is Morgan, for he scorns delays.  Vig. 
then where the field consists of such a spirit,  
He that subdues conquers the Crown by merit.  perid. 
that's I.  Vig. 
'tis I.  Perid. 
Rivers in blood declare it.  Vig. 
Grass turn to Crimson if vigenius spare it.  Elid. 
Air be made purple with our reeking gore.  vige. 
Follow my friends.  Perid. 
Conquer or near give over.  Alarum, Excursious, periduras, and vigenius fight, and both slain. Enter cornwell, Martianus, Morgan, and Malgo. Mar. 
this way I saw vigenius on the spur.  corn. 
I periduras, this way.  Morg. 
A strange fight, my Lord is breathless.  Malg. 
My dear Lord is dead.  Mar. 
True Brothers in ambition, and in death.  Corn. 
Yet we are enemies, why fight we not  
With one another, for our general's loss.  Mar. 
too much blood already hath been spent,  
Now therefore since the difference in themselves,  
Is reconciled in either's overthrow,  
Let us be as we were before this jar,  
And joining hands like honourable friends,  
Inter their bodies as becomes their state,  
And which is rare once more to Elidure,  
Who now in prison leads a wearied life,  
With true submission offer England's Crown.  
Of all the charges of tumultuous fate,  
This is most strange three times to flow in state.  Exeunt. Enter Queen and sycophant. Sico. 
Madam.  Queen. 
You are welcome, what new flatteries,  
Are a coining in the mint of that smooth face?  Sicoph. 
Where is the Lady Elidor I pray.  Q. 
Amongst my other waiting maids at work.  sicoph. 
'tis well, yet Madam with your gracious leave  
I wish it better.  Queen. 
What in love with her,  
Canst thou affect such a dejected wretch,  
Than I perceive thy flattery is folly,  
Or thou'lt prove honest, loving one so poor.  Sico. 
I know not Madam what your highness gathers  
Out of my troubled words, I love you well,  
And though the time should alter, as I am sure,  
It is impossible, yet I would follow  
All your misfortunes with a patient heart.  Queen. 
I have seen too much of thee to credit thee.  Sico. 
Now in your height of glory use your servant,  
now Madam, whilst the noble Peridure  
That loves you dearer than the British Crown,  
Whilst he's conqueror, use me to destroy  
Your greatest enemy, and I will do it.  Queen. 
Thou wilt not.  sicoph. 
Be it Elidure the king,  
The prisoner I should say, I'd murder him,  
To show how much I love your majesty.  Q. 
Thou wouldst not poison for me his base Queen,  
Whom I so often have triumphed over,  
That torment now is her beatitude,  
And tedious unto me.  sico. 
no more, she's dead.  Enter Lady Elidure. queen. 
See where she comes, dispatch her presently,  
For though the Princely Peridure be king,  
His brother's death in time will make him odious  
Unto his subjects, and they may restore  
Mild Elidure again, and then I die,  sico. 
Withdraw, she's dead, as surely as you live.  Lady. 
What shall I never from this servitude  
Receive releasant evermore be plagued,  
With this insulting Queen? Is there no change,  
no other alteration in the state  
I know there is not, I am borne to be  
a slave, to one baser than slavery  sioo. 
I will release you by a speedy death.  Lady. 
By death, alas, what tongue pronounced that word?  
What my Lord weathercock? nay then I see,  
Death in thy mouth is but base flattery.  sico. 
By heaven I am sent to kill you.  Lady. 
By whose means.  sico. 
By one that will avouch it when 'tis done.  Lady. 
not the proud queen.  sico. 
Yes, but I am determined  
in full amends for all my flattery,  
to save your life, and kill her instantly.  La. 
Oh if a Devil would undertake that deed,  
I carded not though she heard me, I would say,  
He were a star more glorious than the day.  sicoph. 
And would you for that good deed pardon me.  Lady. 
And quite all former injury.  sicoph. 
But let me tell your highness by the way,  
the Queen is not so hasty of your death.  Lady. 
no, for she had rather have my life prolonged.  sicoph. 
I do assure your highness on mine honour,  
When I did say she sent me to destroy you,  
I slandered her great mercy towards you,  
For she had given me order to release you.  Lady 
Oh monstrous lie.  sicoph. 
believe it, for 'tis true:  
And this moreover, she somuch repents  
Her former pride and hardness towards you,  
that she could wish it never had been done.  Lady. 
then I repent me of my wrongs towards her,  
And in the stead of a reward proposed  
to him that should destroy her, I do wish,  
Death be his death, that undertakes the deed.  sicoph. 
but will you not forget these princely words,  
if any alteration should ensue.  Lady. 
not I, I in my oaths am true.  sicoph. 
Except once more the Lords crown Elydure.  Lady. 
though that should chance, i'll hold my promise sure.  sicoph. 
And you too Madam.  Q. 
So thou murder'st her.  sico. 
Know that Lord periduras and his  
brother, are in the battle slain, and by the nobles,  
her husband Elidure raised to the state,  
setting aside all jesting, Queen believe it.  
And truce with her, lest she triumph again.  Queen. 
For God's sake make us friends.  sicoph. 
Good Lord how strange this reconciled foes behold each other.  Lady. 
Sister.  Queen. 
Kind sister.  sicoph. 
Then make me your brother, say are you friends.  Both. 
We are.  sicoph. 
Then chance what can,  
in this I have proved myself an honest man.  Enter Malgo. Malgo. 
The king your husband, madam new released,  
Desires your presence at his Coronation.  Lady. 
My Elydure a third time to be crowned.  Mal. 
True Madam, and expects your company.  Lady. 
And you knew this before.  sicoph. 
No on mine honour.  Lady. 
Neither you Sister.  Queen. 
neither.  Lady. 
If you did My oath is past, and what I have lately sworn i'll hold inviolate, here all strife ends, thy wit has made two proud shrews perfect friends.  Exeunt. Enter in state, Elidure, Cornwell, Martianus, Morgan, and all the Lords. Corn. 
A third time live our gracious sovereign  
Monarch of England, crowned by these hands.  Elid. 
A third time Lords, I do return your love,  
And wish it with my soul, so heaven were pleased,  
My ambitious Brothers had not died for this,  
But we have given them honourable graves.  Enter Queen and Lady. 
And mourned their most untimely funeral,  
My loved Queen, come seat thee by my side,  
Partner in all my sorrows and my joys,  
And you her reconciled Sister sit,  
By her in second place of majesty,  
It joys me that you have outworn your pride.  Lady. 
Methinks my gracious husband and my King,  
I never took more pleasure in my glass,  
Than I receive in her society.  Queen. 
Nor I in all my state as in her love.  Elid. 
My Lord of Cornwell, whose's that whispers to you?  
Or what's the news?  Corn. 
My liege, he tells me here's a great contention  
betwixt two noted persons of the Land  
much spoke of by all states, one somebody  
Hath brought before your highness and this presence,  
An infamous and strange opinioned fellow,  
Called Nobody, they would entreat your highness,  
To hear their matters scanned.  Elid. 
we'll sit in person on their controversies,  
Admit them Cornwell.  Lady. 
Is that strange monster took, somuch renowned,  
In City, Court, and Country, for lewd pranks.  
'tis well, we'll hear how he can purge himself.  Enter somebody, bringing in Nobody and his man, with Bills and staves. Som. 
now sirrah we have brought you before the king,  
Where's your heart now?  Nob. 
My hearts in my hose, but my face was never ashamed to show itself, yet before king or kaiser.  som. 
And where's your heart sirrah?  Clown. 
My hearts lower than my hoof, for mine it at my heel, but wheresoever it is, it is a true heart, and so is not somb.  som. 
Health to your Majesty, and to the Queen,  
With a heart lower than this humble earth  
whereon I kneel. I beg against this fellow,  
justice my liege.  Eli. 
Against whom.  som. 
Against Nobody.  No. 
My liege, his words well suit unto his thoughts,  
He wishes no man justice, being composed  
Of all deceit, of subtlety and slight,  
For mine own part, if in this royal presence,  
And before all these true judicial Lords,  
I cannot with sincereness clear myself,  
Of all suggestions falsely coined against me,  
Let me be hanged up sunning in the air,  
And made a scarecrow.  Mar. 
Let's hear his accusations,  
And then how well thou canst acquit thyself.  som. 
First, when this monster made his residence  
Within the country, and dispersed his shape  
Through every shire and country of the Land,  
Where plenty had before a quiet seat,  
And the poor commons of the Land were full,  
With rich abundance and satiety,  
At his arrive, great dearths and scarcity,  
By engrossing come, and racking poor men's rents.  
This makes so many poor and honest Farmers,  
to sell their leases, and to beg their bread,  
this makes so many beggars in the Land.  Corn. 
ay but what proof or lawful evidence  
Can you bring forth, that this was done by him.  som. 
My Lord I traced him, and so found him out,  
But should your Lordship not believe my proof,  
Examine all the rich and wealthy chuffs,  
Whose full crammed Garners to the roofs are filled,  
In every dearth who makes this scarcity,  
And every man will clearly quit himself,  
Then consequently, it must be Nobody.  
Base copper money is stamped, the mint disgraced,  
Make search who doth this, every man clears one,  
So consequently it must be Nobody.  
Besides, whereas the nobles of the land,  
And Gentlemen built goodly manner houses,  
Fit to receive a King, and all his train,  
And there kept royal hospitality,  
Since this intestine monster Nobody,  
Dwells in these goodly houses keeps no train,  
A hundred Chimneys, and not one cast smoke,  
And now the cause of these, mock-beggar Hal,  
Is this they, are dwelled in by Nobody,  
For this out of the country he was chaste.  No. 
My royal liege why am I thus disgraced,  
I'll prove that slanderous wretch hath this all done.  Elid. 
'tis good you can acquit you, such abuses,  
Grow in the country, and unknown to us:  
nay then no marvel that so many poor,  
starve in the streets and beg from door, to door.  
Then sirrah purge you from this country blame,  
Or we will make thee the world's public shame.  Corn. 
now Nobody, what can you say to this.  Clo. 
My M. hath good cards, on his side I'll warrant him.  No. 
my Lord, you know that slanders are no proofs,  
nor words without their present evidence,  
If things were done, they must be done by somebody,  
Else could they have no being. Is corn hoardward,  
somebody hoards it, else it would be dealt,  
In mutual plenty throughout all the land,  
Are their rents raised, if Nobody should do it,  
then should it be undone. Is  
Base money stamped, and the king's letters forged,  
Somebody needs must do it, therefore not I,  
And where he says, great houses long since built,  
Lie destitute, and waste because inhabited,  
By Nobody my liege, I answer thus,  
If Somebody dwelled therein, I would give place.  
Or would he but allow those chimneys fire,  
They would cast clouds to heaven, the Kitchen-food  
It would relieve the poor, the cellar's beer,  
It would make strangers drink, but he commits  
These outrages then lays the blame on me,  
And for my good deed, I am made a scorn.  
I only give the tired a refuge seat,  
The unclothed garments, and the starved meat.  Clow. 
How say you by this master Somebody. I believe  
you will be found out by and by.  Corn. 
If this be true my liege, as true it is,  
Somebody will be found an arrant cheater,  
Unless he better can acquit himself.  Sich. 
Touch him with the city, since you have taken the foil in the Country.  Mar. 
Sirrah, what can you say to this?  Someb. 
What should I say my Lord, see hear complaints,  
Made in the city against nobody,  
as well as in the country. See their bills,  
here's one complains his wife hath been abroad,  
And asking where she revels night, by night,  
She answers she hath been with nobody.  
hear's queans maintained in every suburb street,  
Ask who maintains them, and 'tis nobody.  
Watches are, beaten, and Constables are scoffed,  
In dead of night men are made drunk in taverns,  
Girls lose their maiden heads at thirteen years,  
Pockets picked, and purses cut in throngs.  Queen. 
Enough, enough, doth nobody all this?  
Though he hath cleared himself from country crimes,  
He cannot scape the city.  No. 
Yes dread Queen,  
I must confess these things are daily done,  
For which I here accuse this Somebody,  
That everywhere with slanders dogs my steps,  
And cunningly assumes my borrowed shape,  
Women lie out, if they be took and found  
with somebody, than Nobody goes clear,  
Else the blames mine, he doth these faults unknown,  
then slanders my chaste innocence for proof.  
somebody doth maintain a common strumpet  
i'th' garden-allys, and undid himself.  
somebody swaggered with the watch last night,  
was carried to the counter.  
somebody once picked a pocket in this Playhouse yard,  
Was hoisted on the stage, and shamed about it.  Clow. 
Ha, ha, hath my master met with you.  no. 
Alas my liege, your honest Nobody  
Builds Churches in these days, and Hospitals,  
Relieves the several prisons in the City,  
Redeems the needy debtor from the hole,  
And when this somebody brings infant children,  
And leaves them in the night at stranger's doors,  
Nobody fathers them, provides them nurses,  
What should I say, your highness love I crave,  
That am all just.  corn. 
Then somebody's a knave.  sicoph. 
If neither city nor country will prevail to him, with the court ma. somebody, and there you will match him.  som. 
Then touching his abuses in the court.  corn. 
I marry Nobody what say you to this,  
See, here are dangerous libels 'gainst the state,  
And no name to them, therefore nobody's.  Mar. 
Besides strange rumours and false buzzing tales,  
Of mutinous leesings raised by Nobody.  Malg. 
False dice and Cheating brought even to the presence, and who dares be so impudently knavish,  
Unless some fellow of your name and garb.  Morg. 
Cards of advantage with such cheating tricks,  
Brought even amongst the noblest of the land,  
And when these cozening shifts are once discovered,  
There is no cheater found save Nobody.  som. 
How canst thou answer these.  nobo. 
even as the rest,  
Are libels cast, if nobody did make them,  
And nobody's name to them, they are no libels,  
For he that sets his name to any slander,  
Makes it by that no libel, this approves  
He forged those slanderous writs to scandal me.  
And for false cards, and dice, let my great slops  
And his big bellied doublet both be searched,  
And see which harbours most hypocrisy.  queen. 
Let them both be searched.  sico. 
I'll take my leave of the presence.  Clow. 
nay M. sycophant we'll have the inside of your pockets translated to, we'll see what stuffing they have, I'll take a little pains with you.  Elid. 
What have you there in nobody's pockets.  Corn. 
Here are my liege bonds forfeit by poor men,  
Which he released out of the usurers hands,  
And canceled. Leases likewise forfeited,  
By him repurchased. These petitions,  
Of many poor men to prefer their suits.  
Unto your highness.  Elid. 
Thou art Just we know,  
All great men's pockets should be lined so.  queen. 
What bombast bears his gorge.  Mar. 
False Cards, false Dice;  
The king's hand counterfeit,  
Bonds put in suit to gain the forfeitures,  
forged deeds to cheat men of their ancient land,  
And thousand such like trash.  Clo. 
Nay look you here, hears one that for his bones is prettily stuffed. hear's fulloms and gourds: here's tall-men & low-men Here trey duce ace, passage comes apace.  som. 
Mercy great King.  Sicoph. 
Mercy my Sovereign.  Corn. 
My liege you cannot to be severe in punishing,  
Those monstrous crimes, the only stain and blemish  
To the weal-public.  Eli. 
villains hear your doom,  
Thou that hast been the oppression of the poor,  
Shalt be more poor than penury it self,  
All that thou hast is forfeit to the Law,  
For thy extortion I will have thee branded,  
Upon the forehead with the letter F.  
For Cheating whipped, for forging lose thine ears,  
Last for a basing of thy sovereign's Coin,  
And traitorous impress of our kingly seal,  
Suffer the death of traitors. Bear him hence.  som. 
Since I must needs be martyred grant me this,  
That Nobody may whip, or torture me,  
Or hang me for a traitor.  Morg 
Away with him.  Som. 
Or if needs I must die a traitor's death,  
That Nobody may see me when I die.  Malg. 
Hence with the traitor.  Clo. 
I know by your complexion you were ripe for the hangman, but now to this lean Gentleman.  Lady. 
Let me doom him, smooth spaniel, soothing groom  
Slick Oily knave, egregious parasite,  
Thou turning vane, and changing Weathercock,  
My sentence is thou shalt be naked stripped,  
And by the city beadles soundly whipped.  Clow. 
I'll make bold to see th'execution.  No. 
Well hath the King decreed, now by your highness patience let Nobody borrow a word or two of Everybody.   

The Epilogue.  
here if you wonder why the king Elidurus bestows nothing on me for all my good services in his land, if the multitude should say he hath preferred Nobody, Somebody or other would say it were not well done, for in doing good to Nobody he should but get himself an ill name. Therefore I will leave my suit to him, and turn to you. Kind Gentleman if anybody here dislike Nobody, than I hope Everybody have pleased you, for being offended with nobody, nor Anybody can find himself aggrieved, Gentlemen they have a cold suit that have nobody to speak in their cause, and therefore blame us not to fear, yet our comfort is this, if nobody have offended you cannot blame Nobody for it, or rather we will find Somebody hereafter shall make good the fault that nobody hath done, and so I crave the general grace of Everybody.  Eli. 
now forward Lords, long may our glories stand,  
Three sundry times Crowned king of this fair land.  Exeunt. 
FINIS.   


SOMEBODY