The Cooper of Norfolk: OR, A pretty jest of a Brewer and the Cooper's Wife: And how the Cooper served the Brewer in his kind.  
To the tune of, The Wiving Age.  

 

ATtend my Masters, and listen well  
Unto this my Ditty, which briefly doth tell  
Of a fine merry jest which in Norfolk befell:  
A brave lusty Cooper in that County did dwell,  
And there he cried Work for a Cooper,  
Maids ha'ye any work for a Cooper?   

This Cooper he had a fair creature to's wife,  
Which a Brewer i'th' Town loved as dear as his life,  
And she had a trick, which in some wives is rife:  
She still kept a sheath for another man's knife,  
And often cornuted the Cooper,  
While he cried, More work for a Cooper.   

It happened one morning the Cooper out went,  
To work for his living it was his intent:  
He trusted his house to his wife's government,  
And left her in bed to her own hearts content,  
While he cried, What work for a Cooper,  
Maids ha'ye any work for a Cooper?   

And as the Cooper was passing along,  
Still crying and calling his old wont song,  
The Brewer, his rival, both lusty and young,  
Did think now or never to do him some wrong,  
And lie with the wife of the Cooper,  
Who better loved him than the Cooper.   

So calling the Cooper, he to him did say,  
Go home to my house, and make no delay,  
I have so much work as thou canst do to day:  
What ever thou earnest, I'll bountifully pay.  
These tidings well pleased the Cooper,  
Oh, this was brave news for the Cooper.   

Away went the Cooper to th'house of the Brewer,  
Who seeing him safe at his work to endure:  
Thought he, now for this day the Cooper is sure,  
I'll go to his wife, her gréen-sicknesse to cure:  
Take heed of your forehead, good Cooper,  
For now I must work for the Cooper.   

So straightways he went to the Cooper's dwelling,  
The goodwife to give entertainment was willing,  
The Brewer & she like two pigeons were billing:  
And what they did else they have bound me from telling:  
He pleased the wife of the Cooper,  
Who better loved him than the Cooper.   

But mark how it happened now at the last,  
The sunshine of pleasure was soon overpassed;  
The Cooper did lack one of's Tools, and in haste  
He came home to fetch it, and found the door fast:  
Wife, open the door, quoth the Cooper,  
And let in thy husband the Cooper.   

Now when the goodwife and the Brewer did hear  
The Cooper at door, affrighted they were:  
The Brewer was in such a bodily fear,  
That for to hide himself he knew not where,  
To shun the fierce rage of the Cooper,  
He thought he should die by the Cooper.   

The good wife perceiving his woeful estate,  
She having a subtle and politic pate,  
She suddenly whelmed down a great brewing Fat,  
And closely she covered the Brewer with that.  
Then after she let in the Cooper,  
What's under this Tub? quoth the Cooper.    

The second Part, To the same Tune.  

SHe hearing her husband that question demand,  
She thought it was time to her tackling to stand:  
Take heed how you move it, qd she, with your hand,  
For there's a live Pig was sent by a friend:  
Oh, let it alone, good Cooper:  
Thus she thought to cozen the Cooper.   

Is it a Sow pig, the Cooper did say?  
Let me have't to my Supper: the good wife said nay,  
It is sir, a Boar-pig, quoth she, by my faith:  
'tis for my own diet, 'twas given me to day:  
It is not for you, john Coop●●●  
Then let it alone, john Cooper.   

I would it were in thy belly, quoth john,  
Indeed, quoth the goodwife, so it shall be anon:  
What, ere I do with it, faith thou shalt have none.  
Why stand'st thou here prating? I prithee be gone,  
Make haste to thy work, john Cooper,  
Worse meat's good enough for a Cooper.   

Cannot a good wife have a bit now and than,  
But there must be notice ta'en by the good man?  
I'll have't to my dinner, sir, do what you can:  
It may be I long to have all or none:  
Then prithee content thyself Cooper,  
Oh go to thy work, john Cooper.   

The Cooper mistrusted some knavery to be  
Hid under the brewing Fat, and therefore he  
Was fully resolved, for his mind-sake, to see.  
Alas, thought the Brewer, now woe be to me,  
Oh what shall I say to the Cooper?  
I would I were gone from the Cooper.   

You whore, qd the Cooper, is this your Boar-pig?  
He has been well fed, for he's grown very big:  
I'll either of him have an arm or a leg;  
I'll make him unable his tail for to wrig.  
Before he gets hence from john Cooper,  
I'll make him remember the Cooper.   

Oh pardon me Neighbour the Brewer did say:  
And for the offence I have done thee this day,  
I am well contented thy wrath to allay,  
And make restitution for this my foul play:  
O prithee forgive me, john Cooper,  
And I'll be a friend to john Cooper.   

If from this offence thou wilt set me clear,  
My bounty and love to thee shall appear:  
I'll freely allow thee and thine all the year,  
As much as yée'l drink, either strong Ale or Beer:  
Then prithee forgive me, john Cooper,  
Accept of my proffer, john Cooper.   

Oh no, quoth the Cooper, I'd have thee to think,  
That I with my labour can buy myself drink.  
I'll geld thee, or lame thee, ere fram me thou shrink.  
These words made the Brewer with fear for to stink;  
He feared the rage of the Cooper,  
Yet still he entreated the Cooper.   

The Cooper by no means would let go his hold,  
The Brewer cried out to the Cooper, and told  
Him, there was the key of his silver and gold  
And gave him free leave to fetch what he would:  
O than he contented the Cooper,  
These tidings well pleased the Cooper.   

If thou, quoth the Cooper, wilt swear with an oath,  
To do all thou tell'st me, although I am loath,  
I will be contented to pardon you both:  
Content, quoth the Brewer, I will, by my troth,  
Here take thou my key, john Cooper.  
Yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.   

On this condition they both went their way,  
Both john and the Brewer, but john kept the key,  
Which opened the Coffer where more money lay,  
Than john the Cooper had seen many a day:  
This is a brave sight, thought the Cooper,  
I'll furnish myself, thought the Cooper.   

john was so far in affection with that,  
That he took up handfuls and filled his Hat:  
I will have my bargain, quoth john, that is flat,  
The Brewer shall pay well for using my Fat:  
I'll cry no more work for a Cooper,  
Farewell to the trade of a Cooper.   

Thus money can pacify the greatest strife:  
For john never after found fault with his wife.  
He left off his Adz his Saw and his Knife,  
And after lived richly all days of his life;  
He cried no more work for a Cooper:  
Oh he left off the trade of a Cooper.   

And in his merry mood, oft he would say,  
If that I had hooped twenty tubs in one day,  
I should not have got so much wealth, by my faith:  
Gramercy kind wife, for thy wit found the way  
To make a rich man of john Cooper:  
Oh what a good wife has john Cooper.   

Let no married couple that hear this tale told,  
Be of the opinion this couple did hold,  
To sell reputation for silver or gold:  
For credit and honesty should not be sold.  
Thus ended the song of the Cooper.  
That cried, Ha'ye any work for a Cooper.    
FINIS.  M. P.  

Printed at London for Francis Grove, on Snow-hill.