Man's Felicity and Misery: Which is, a good Wife and a bad: or the best and the worst, discoursed in a Dialogue between Edmund and David.  
To the tune of I have for all good wives a song.  
 
Edmund. 
KInd Cousin David prithee stay.  
Good news to thee I will bewray,  
Since last I saw thee I am married,  
Now things with me are better carried,  
I dare say that which few men can,  
I have the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
I am right joyful Cousin Ned,  
To hear that thou so well art sped:  
As thou mayst thy good fortune bless,  
I may curse my unhappiness;  
My torments none on earth can scan,  
I have the worst Wife that ever had man.  Edmund. 
My wife for beauty bears the name.  
From all i'th' town from whence she came,  
For shape she might a Lady be,  
And so all say that do her see:  
Her middle I can easily span,  
O she's the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
My wife so loathsome is to view,  
She every morning makes me spew,  
For person she's scarce good enough  
To try, maids ha' ye avy Kitchen-stuff:  
She 〈…〉 Dripping pan,  
O she's the worst Wife that ever had man.  Edmund. 
My wife is affable and meek,  
To please my fancy she doth seek.  
My humour she will never th'wart,  
But d●t my will with all her heart,  
We use no words but Ned and Nan,  
She is the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
My wise is obstinate and froward,  
she's sullen, peevish, and untoward;  
she's glad at heart when she can find,  
Occasion to molest my mind:  
she'll I have her will do what I can,  
O she's the worst Wife that ever had man.  Edmund. 
My wife is careful of her charge,  
She never rome's abroad at large,  
Her business she will ne'er neglect,  
But brings all things to good effect:  
she's to her Babes a Pelican,  
O she's the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
My wife among her Gossips doth gad,  
As though nothing to do she had,  
The children go undressed all day,  
Unless I put on their array:  
I ●ot faint to make what shift I can,  
For she's the worst wife that ever had man.  Edmund. 
My wife's 〈◊〉 constan chastity,  
Like Lucrece or Penelope:  
She is so wary in her carriage,  
That if a kiss would wrong her marriage,  
No one should get that favour than,  
For she's the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
My wife is full of merry tricks,  
She hath been naught with five or six,  
If she can get me out o'th' door,  
Ere I return she'll play the whore,  
she'll say though I can't others can,  
O she's the worst Wife that ever had man.   

The second part,  
To the same tune.  
 Edmund. 
My wife so cleanly is and neat,  
She adds a goodness to my meat,  
I eat when I no stomach have,  
Because 'tis done as I do crave,  
In sickness she is my Physician,  
For she's the best Wife that ever had man.  David. 
My wife is such a beastly Slut,  
Unless it be an Egg or a Nut,  
I in the house dare nothing eat,  
For fear there's poison in the meat,  
The Dogs do lick both Dish and Pan,  
O she's the worst Wife, etc.  Edmund. 
My wife will wear no yellow hose,  
No wench can make her swell ith'nose,  
She knows that I to her am just,  
And in my faith she puts her trust;  
she'll not be vexed say what I can,  
For she's the best, etc.  David. 
If I upon a woman look,  
My wife will swear upon a book,  
That she is certainly a Whore,  
Though I ne'er saw the Woman before,  
she'll claw her eyes out if she can,  
O she's the worst, etc.  Edmund. 
My wife will never follow me,  
Go where I will, at home stays she,  
Though I from morn till night do room,  
She smiling bids me welcome home.  
This makes me haste home to my Nan,  
For she's the best, etc.  David. 
If I unto the Alehouse go,  
To drink a jug of beer or so,  
Though ne'er so fast I thither hie,  
My wife is there as soon as I:  
At me and my friends she'll curse and ban,  
For she's the worst, etc.  Edmund. 
If any friends come home to me,  
My wife gives entertainment free,  
But out o'th' doors she will not stir  
Unless I go along with her,  
She scrapes and saves what ere she can,  
O she's the best, etc.  David. 
My wife will at the Alehouse sit,  
And waste away both money and wit,  
Nay rather than she'll liquor lacks,  
she'll sell the smock from off her back,  
she'll steal from me all that she can,  
O she's the worst  Edmund. 
Kind Cousin David I am very sorry,  
To hear thee tell so sad a story,  
Marriage and hanging now I see,  
Go as they say by destiny  
I would thou couldst say as I can,  
I have the best wife, etc.  David. 
I thank you Cousin for your good will,  
Long may your blessing continue still,  
My cross I must with patience bear,  
Till God or the Devil end my care,  
And thus I end as I began,  
I have the worst Wife that ever had man.  Author. 
You wives who have heard this discourse  
Now show who's better and who's worse.  
The best will freely buy this Song,  
The worst will show she hath a tongue.  
The head's soon broken that is scald,  
And jades will kick if they be galled.   
FINIS.  
M. P.   

Printed at London for Francis Grove.