Laquei ridiculosi: OR Springs for Woodcocks. Caveat Emptor.  
LONDON: Printed for john Busbie, and are to be sold at his shop in S. Dunstan's Churchyard in Fleet street.  
1613   

Lectori benigno, Scienti, & ignoto.  
DVo propemodum anni elapsi sunt, ex quo primum Epigramata haec (qualiacunque) raptim & festinanter perfi●ebam: Quae cum Capellano sive Officialitiam ●isa (sicuti mos est) & approbata, ●unc equidem aut non omnino in lucem pro●irent: partim quod secundum tempora & occasionem composita aptiora magis & ●ece●ntiora gustare videantur; & quod hisce studijs aut potius vanitatibus minus iam dudum versatus, valedixissem. Sed num placuerit ei cum Typographo citius agere, cui gratís (ut priora) lubenter contuli: aut alia (qu● nescio) impeditus occasione, eadem sine me edita iam sunt, & in publicum diwlgata: Si tamen cuicunque fortasse placeant perlegenti, mihi etiam gratissimum fuerit & perplacebunt, dummodo quae commissa sint errata, humaniter condonaverint, aut quae omissa, non culpaverint imprudenter. At non sum nescius quam a●●ara & virulenta quoru●dam sint ingenia, qui cum mellis nihil habeant, a●uleu● tamen venu●atum gerunt, quo obuiu● quemque vulnerent atque insectentur Hisce, ego Absinthium & graveolentes her●as potius quam suavissimas rosas grati●ue odoris Thymum (Hyblaeis Apibus degu●tandum) offerrem. Sed ut desistam pau●is; Si qui de●ique laqueis istis (quem●dmodum appellantur) necesse & volenter ●iodo incidere certabunt, ita quod de me ●essimè & immeritò postea loquentur, tali●s ego proxima tantummodo editione, ●lanculum (si coactus) responsionem fa●am.  
Hen: Parrot. uni, sipossim posse placere, sat e●t.   

dives Arabs aurum, gemmas dat laetior orbis,  
Et quaeis confines Indus & Americus:  
At sterilis Gens ista mea est, fulgentis Eoi  
Lumina, quam solis nulla bear solent.  
Quae tamen indigno concessit jupiter almus,  
(Nulla licet tanto judice digna,) dabit.   

To the Reader.  
TO the Courteous, Generous, and Scolasticke Readers: I cannot stoop too submissive-low with that observance which to them belongeth. But to th' illiterate and home-spun-Pea●ants, prove I as harsh and indigestable as is their spite and ignorance unreprovable. I know I shall be foully censured of some Slavonians that scarce have any taste or feeling of invention; yet will be meddling though they cry but Mew, whom to revenge were less expedient by how much the labour in so base a business would prove impertinent. If any one in the reading hereof shall aught assume to his own particular▪ and say expressly it is meant by him, ● cannot help his incredulity, but rather wish his folly more apparent▪ that men might note him as a public Coxcomb.  
For mine own part, I had long since bidden adieu to these idle toys not thinking my labours (done then● should now again be brought unto the Press, which is indeed without ●y privity. Wherhfore, if any thing ●oeuer be escaped or misplaced, it shall ●ot be imputed unto my fault, being ● neither was nor would be thereunto consenting or assisting: Nor shall I ●eede be so obsequious, seeing it was only done then to please my ●elfe; much less to use any long Apol●gie, which were to erect a large portal to a little Cottage. In brief, ●t is to me no otherwise then as a cast ●r game at Passage, that am indifferent ●hough I ●ling out at first: and therefore to conclude, as I seek to please none, so look I for as little thanks, ●sse praise, & least reward: so farewell.   

To the vulgar Censurers.  
IF my ill-tuned Rhymes content the wise,  
Whose deeper judgements I desire to please,  
Let not the ruder sort be so precise,  
That (Critic seeming) cannot censure these.  
I write not to the rustic Rabblement,  
Nor fawn upon the curious kind of men,  
But hold it more than bootless labour spent  
To beg their poor applause; nor care I then  
If such repine, whose envy cannot hurt,  
Though like a raging Sea they foam their dirt.  
FINIS.   

MY honest friends that reads, I you beseech  
To make the best construction of each lett●  
And not to blame my lavishness of speech,  
In paying sound where I am a debtor:  
My word and credit else you should infringe,  
Which was to catch the Woodcock in a Spring   

SPRINGS FOR Woodcocks.  

1  
Crispati erines, Plumae, daunt calcar amori.  
WHy is young Anas thus with feathers dight?  
And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock:  
The one foretells he'll sooner fly then fight;  
The other shows he's wrapped in's mother's smock.  
But wherefore wears he such a jingling spur?  
Oh, he deals oft with lads that will not stur.   

2  
Pariiugo sociantur Asini.  
Cothurnus thinks he hath the rarest wit,  
That any self-conceit can glory in;  
Do but applaud him, and you are as fit  
Unto his purpose as an Ass to's skin:  
Mark if to Paul's the Gallant be not gone,  
You seldom there see one fool walk alone.   

3  
Consuetudo, lex.  
TWo wooers for a wench were each at strife,  
Which should enjoy her to his wedded wife;  
Quoth th' one, she's mine, because I first her saw,  
she's mine, quoth th' other, by Pie-corner law;  
Where, sticking once a P●ick on what you buy  
It's then your own, which no man must deny.   

4  
Ingrata Gratia,  
GRace, I confess▪ she hath a comely face,  
Good hand and foot, as answerable to it:  
But what's all this except she had more grace?  
Oh, you will say, 'tis want that makes her do it.  
True: want of grace indeed; the more her shame,  
Disgrace by nature, only Grace by name.   

5  
Quo maior, peior.  
Aetus, that late a great Divine did meet,  
● Would, jesting, needs presume his health to gree●,  
●ho (not offended) told him he was well:  
●o●d then, quoth Letus, see what lies men tell,  
Last day I was abroad, where I did hear  
Your Worship hath been speechless all this year.   

6  
Magnis fortuna nocet.  
TWo Knights in London (the Term being ended)  
Would of a Scrivener borrow fifty pound:  
●ho said, by him they could not be befriended  
●lesse a Citizen with them were bound:  
For, quoth the Scrivener, thus much understand,  
The men we trust have either goods or Land.   

7  
Videantur quae non sunt.  
SAltus goes booted to the dancing school,  
As if from thence his meaning were to ride;  
But Saltus says they keep his legs more cool,  
And which for ease he better may abide:  
Tut, that's a cold excuse. It rather seemed  
Saltus silk stockings were not yet redeemed.   

8  
Vmbras non scelus metuit.  
Mistress Marina starts to see a Frog,  
A Naked Rapier, or a creeping Mouse;  
To hear a Gun, a barking mastiff Dog,  
Or smell Tobacco that defiles her house,  
To taste of Fish no man alive shall woe her,  
Yet fears she not what flesh can do unto her▪   

9  
Sal●em videretur.  
A Welshman and an Englishman disputed,  
Which of their lands maintained the greatest state;  
●he Englishman the Welshman quite confuted,  
●●t would the Welshman nought his brags abate,  
●en Cooks (quoth he) in Wales one Wedding fees▪  
True, quoth the other, each man to●t● his Cheese.   

10  
Latet aliquid intus.  
Mistress Mallina waxeth ill at ease,  
And keeps her Bed, sick of a burning fever:  
●t she's persuaded 'tis some worse disease,  
●nd that the foolish Doctor doth deceive her;  
For why? she feels it shooting in her bones,  
That griping puts her to most grievous groans.   

11  
Naturam expellere durum.  
Profuse borrows, but ne'er pays again,  
(A custom he hath kepte'er since his Cradle)  
Although you bind him in an Iron chain,  
Can any man pay debts more than he's able?  
Fore God, not he. Let Noverints sink or swim,  
he'll sooner deal with Kate, though she pay him.   

12  
Tempora praesagit Venus.  
KAte, for a need, deals in Astronomy,  
And can of times and things prognosticate;  
For as they use upon their backs to lie,  
And censure of the weathers changing state;  
So she (her body laid) can prophesy  
Whether it shall prove cold, hot, moist, or dry.   

13  
Sensus falluntur ●ept●.  
WAT told his wife she closely played the whore,  
For, ipso facto, he himself espied it  
from forth the keyhole of the chamber door:  
●ut she regardless to his teeth denied it  
Saying, Thou Rascal, wilt believe thine eyes  
Before thy Wife, that in thy bosom lies?   

14  
Improbè Neptunum accusat qui bis naufragium fecit▪  
SVsan hath sworn to deal no more on trust,  
What shift so ever she be forced to make her;  
●r such as promise most in heat of lust  
●ill least perform (saith Susan) but forsake her:  
And can ye blame her then? judge those that know it,  
twice to be got with child and no man owe it?   

15  
Ingl●uiem seavitur fames.  
CVrio would feed upon the daintiest fare,  
That with the Court or Country might compare▪  
For what lets Curio that he need to care,  
To frolic freely with the proudest that dare.  
But his excess was such in all things rare,  
As he proved bankrupt ere he was aware.   

16  
Omnis vicessitudo grata.  
PArnell accounts it deepest policy,  
To shift her lodging every month at least;  
'tis strange you should demand the reason why,  
Are not her Clients thereby more increased;  
Besides, her years and actions yet in prime,  
That else might prove a Bawd before her time.   

17  
Nunquam saturata libido.  
●Vcas so long lies surfeiting in's Bed  
As seldom it permits him rise to dinner  
●ntill his lustful appetite be fed,  
●hiles he's consorting with some female sinner,  
Whom hackney-like he hires from night till noon,  
And turns her off his journey being done.   

18  
Spreta tamen viwnt.  
●Ocunda is become an idle liver,  
Supported by the bounties of so many  
●s may be thought the fault is in the giver,  
●hen pity 'twere she be relieved by any.  
And yet you'll say, if there were none to give,  
How should such creatures as jocunda live?   

19  
No● omnia possumus omne●.  
FVscus forgets since first he was a Clerk,  
And (now I think on't) well he might do 〈◊〉,  
That had of learning but so little spark:  
Should he remember what he did not know?  
No matter (Fuscus) half t'hexchequer knows thee,  
That now so ancient shall not need to pose thee.   

20  
Sequitur vestigia matris.  
'Tis marvelled much how Martha holds it out,  
That's thought to have so little comings in,  
Pish, none that knows her duly makes that doubt:  
Besides, she comes not of so base a kin,  
For though her father were of Gentry wide,  
she's borne a mad wench by the mother's side.   

21  
Quantum mutatus ab illo.  
●Edes grown proud, makes men admire thereat,  
Whose base breeding should (they think) not bear it,  
●ay he on Cockhorse rides, how like you that?  
●ut Pedes proverb is, win gold and wear it:  
But Pedes you have seen them rise in haste,  
That through their pride have broke their necks at last.   

22  
Malum commune pri●atum inc●ndium.  
HEllen of Tr●y, was held a wondrous Woman,  
(If all things wondrous be which we admire)  
●et never was she known so wondrous common,  
●hough 'gainst her will, she caused that wondrous fire:  
But wondrous is our Helen's more mistrust,  
That kindles thousands with her fire of lust.   

23  
Modò dives, pessimus vocetur.  
Praws th'attorney proves himself to blame,  
By taking, as 'tis said, excessive fees;  
But his excuse is others do the same,  
Which else for want of ask they should lose:  
Tut, who is he but scandal may deprave,  
That twice was under-shreive and yet no K.?   

24  
Sat, Si formosa Camilla.  
CAmilla hath a fair and pleasing face,  
But it's as common as her conversation,  
She like esteems your praise as her disgrace,  
That with a pox bids farewell reputation;  
For she'll maintain the course she first began,  
To swear, carouse, or lie with any man.   

25  
Vritur omnis Amor.  
● Wonder Petrus looks so paily on it,  
Whose late resemblance seemed of sanguine hue?  
●ou shall not need (Sir) question much upon it,  
●is too well known how (with a pox) it grew:  
'twas ne'er yet sound with him since first he swore,  
To love Rebecca that polluted—   

26  
Domi parcus, for as prodigus.  
WHen Toruus seldom sups or dines abroad,  
He seems more curious than the best at table,  
●nd with the daintiest dishes lays on load,  
although it cost him more than's means is able:  
Thus at one meal himself the Buzzard robs,  
That basely feeds at home on hearing-cobs   

27  
Nummorum impensas, non Veneris luxum fugit.  
GA●fridus grown a flincher now of late,  
'mongst his Comrages (as men he never knew)  
Will henceforth (swears) those cursed courses hate;  
And truly learn to lead his life anew,  
For proof whereof and to avoid such cost,  
He keeps him only to one Wench at most.   

28  
Ingenium, vent●is amor, et pocula laedunt.  
WHy should not Pr●cus have a pregnant wit,  
That hath so many proofs thereof professed,  
I see no reason much should hinder it,  
he's rich enough, and fareth of the best:  
Drinckes as good liquor as is made of malt,  
But with his meat he eats too little Salt.   

29  
Quis tantiemeret poenitentiam?  
SImplex, a Citizen was gulled of late,  
Who sporting scarce a minute with his wench,  
●ought his repentance at so dear a ra●e,  
●s ere he could the Panders fury quench  
Was forced through coward fear, to pay the shot,  
Which might ensue that Simplex never got.   

30  
Quam sequimur deteriora.  
● Aurentius hath of Ladies long been loved,  
But he Adonis-like regards them not,  
●or by their best enticements can be moved,  
●nd yet an issue of his loins hath got:  
By whom think you? some beauteous Nymph at least:  
To tell you true by joan his kitchin-Beast.   

31  
Vindicta vim sequitur.  
KIt being kicked and spurned pursues the Law.  
That doomed the damage at twice forty-pences,  
Which when the party that had wronged him saw▪  
Thought 'twas too great a fine for such offence,  
Why then (quoth Kit) if I too much request,  
Thou mayst at any time kick out the rest.   

32  
Sic jupiter ●lim.  
WHen Silvio seeks a broad for Venery,  
He suits him ever in some strange disguise,  
And like the Lapwing farthest off both fly,  
That none his dwelling know in any wise:  
Hath he not reason to be close and fearing,  
That justice gives for others good abearing?   

33  
Opinio maior veritate.  
WHat tell you Grosus now of Grammar rules,  
That hath a Chequer-clarke so long been bred,  
●s good you question him of Mares, or Mules,  
●s pose him in a thing he never read:  
And yet your clients stoop with cap and knee,  
To some (God wot) as scurvy Clerks as he.   

34  
Turpe lucrum Veneris,  
WIll in a wilful humour needs would wed  
A wench of wonder: but without a Stock,  
●hose fame no sooner through the street was spread▪  
●ut thither strait our chiefest Gallants flock:  
Put case she's poor: brings she not chapmen on?  
I hope his Stock may serve to graft upon.   

35  
Fronti nulla fides.  
CAntus, that woolward went, was wondered at,  
Which he excused as done through mere cont●tio●  
But who so simple (Cantus) credits that?  
'tis too well known thou art of worse condition:  
And therefore if no linen thee begirt,  
The naked truth will prove thou hast no shirt.   

36  
Lucri bonus odor.  
FAber, not fond or jealous of his wife,  
(Though near so fair) from no man's sight restrain  
For well he knows 'twould prove a hellish life,  
Besides the want of that which oft it gains her:  
Taking no knowledge than they come for sin,  
Says, Please ye enter Sirs? my wife's within.   

37  
Magnis ●ors ausibus obstat.  
MOunseir le Grand, is hence from London go●,  
On urgent business that concerns him near,  
●nd more disturbs him but to think upon,  
●hen any sudden chance that came this year:  
Which might have wrought his vt●er dissolution,  
Had he not scaped that scurvy Execution.   

38  
Curiorum Bacchanalia.  
●Aulinus posteth every day to Paul's,  
But not to pray: that holds he out of fashion,  
from whence returning, to some Tavern trolls,  
●here of his sins he makes more due relation:  
And calling most to mind the scriveners band,  
He than bethinks him Doomsday is at hand.   

39  
Voluisse satis, si non datur ultra.  
BEhold yond Green-goose in his hawking suit,  
That's booted still a month before he rides,  
To urge the reason were but vain dispute,  
there's no man living knows all times and tides:  
What can he more than pawn his scarf and swor●  
And yet the Ostler will not take this word.   

40  
Quod amamus laudamus.  
MArcus maintains it boldly with his pen,  
And will approve it by Philosophy,  
That greatest Clerks are not the wisest men,  
(And therein shows you many reasons why:)  
Amongst the rest not least considerate,  
Brings his defence from Tom the Coryate.   

41  
Suum cuique pulchrum.  
●Osthumus not the last of many more,  
Asks why I writ in such an idle vain,  
●eing there are of Epigrams such store,  
●h, give me leave to tell thee once again,  
That Epigrams, are fitted to the season  
Of such as best know how to make rhyme reason.   

42  
Fama Mendax.  
REport thou sometimes art ambitious,  
At other times too sparing covetous,  
●ut many times exceeding envious,  
●nd out of time most devilish furious:  
Of some or all of these I dare compound thee,  
But for a liar have I ever found thee.   

43  
Quid non ●brieta●?  
RVbin reports his Mistress is a Punk,  
Which being told her, was no whit dismayed,  
For sure as death (quoth she) the villain's drunk,  
And in that ●aking knows not what he said:  
'Twas well excused: but oft it comes to pass,  
That true we find In Vino veritas.   

44  
Ex Nihilo nihil.  
'Twere wondrous, Niger should so long neglect  
To take a Wife, either for wealth or wit,  
But that 'twas known he had some close defect,  
Which from his very rising hindered it:  
For what to women most content should bring,  
Was flatly found in him to prove no Thing.   

45  
Nescit modum rationis expers.  
WHen late Bartellus wife began to breed,  
She longed for Crabs, and Dagger-Puddingpyes;  
●ext time on pickled Oysters must she feed,  
●ll which, and more, her careful husbands buys,  
So oft she longs for sundry dainty things,  
As all is spent er' she her Bastard brings.   

46  
Non penna, sed usus.  
Caius' accounts himself accursed of men,  
Only because his Lady loves him not:  
●ho (till he taught her) scarce could hold her pen,  
●nd yet hath since another Tutor got.  
Caius it seems thy skill she did but cheapen,  
And means to try him at another weapon.   

47  
Pari iugo ●ulcis tractus.  
WILL and his wife so well love one another,  
As oft their strife is which would first be dea●  
Mean while (the better to partake with other)  
Lie closely kissing all day long a bed:  
For so their fancies both jump on the nick,  
He calls her Coney, she him little Prick.   

48  
Manus manum fric●t.  
CAecus indebted, wants wherewith to pay,  
Unto mine Host; but doth therewith appeal  
To his kind Hostise, craving longer day:  
That with her ever yet did kindly deal,  
For let her speak (quod Caecus) just and truly,  
She cannot say, but I have paid her duly.   

49  
Opus & Vsus.  
OPus for need consumed his wealth a pace,  
And ne'er would cease until he was undone;  
●is brother Vsus lived in better case  
●hen Opus did, although the eldest son;  
'twas strange it●should be so; but here was it,  
Opus had all the Land, Vsus the Wit,   

50  
Posse non velle, virum nobilitat.  
FEstus could find in's heart to eat good cheer,  
To wear rich garments, and converse with Ear●e●,  
●o revel it with the best, and domineer  
Amongst the choicest and most sweetest Girls.  
But this (quoth Festus) feels to him curse,  
To find in's heart, and cannot find in's purse.   

51  
Vulgaria sperno.  
SOme marvel why these Epigrams I write,  
To one proportions limit me confines;  
As if I could no more nor less indite,  
But just the measure of so many lines.  
To answer such as therein think I err,  
Spite of their spleen I will be singular.   

52  
Dulce lenimen, miseriarum.  
RAueus restrained of liberty, lies by it,  
But therewith is resolved to take no care:  
For Raucus reckons not who ere espy it,  
So long as there are yet some chinks to share,  
Let Fortune do the worst that she can do him,  
If but his Doll, that dainty Duck come to him.   

53  
O tempora, O mores.  
Same says this new world differs from the old,  
Who knows not that? there's no man can deny it:  
victuals were near so dear, nor love so cold,  
The matter is, he wants where with to buy it.  
But (Sam) thou never yet couldst hear or see,  
That beggars were more proud than now they be.   

54  
Regina paecunia quid non?  
NVmmus suborned a Counsellor on his part,  
'Gainst Innocence that knew not what to speak▪  
●ut free in Conscience had a cheerful heart:  
And yet constrained, his mind at length did break  
Unto him, saying, Sir, you play the Poet,  
That know the truth, yet will not seem to know it.   

55  
Veniunt spectentur ut ipst.  
WHen young Rogero goes to see a play,  
His pleasure is you place him on the Stage,  
The better to demonstrate his array,  
And how he sits attended by his Page,  
That only serves to fill those pipes with smoke,  
For which he pawned hath his riding Cloak.   

56  
Sic ar● diluditur arte.  
A Sergeant that a Servingman arrested,  
Bade him bring Bail, or else to prison go,  
Which, to procure on's word, the man requested,  
And left his Ring as in deposito:  
The Saricant having stayed till Sun had set,  
Was forced (as Fortune would) to pay the debt.   

57  
Naturam Ducern sequi●ur.  
MEstus grown dull and dead through discontent:  
But if his Trull, that sees him sotted, say,  
●ow cheer you Sir? or is impatient  
●f her dispatch, and swears she will not stay,  
Oh, then he'll rouse himself, and 'gins to fall  
Unto his business, like a natural.   

58  
Rediculae admirationis facetum responsum.  
LAnius that late a load of Calves did bring,  
Upon his horse through Fleet street to his door,  
Was of a Student thought so strange a thing,  
As if he near had seen the like before:  
When boldly Lanius (looking back) replied,  
there's many a Calf (Sir) doth on horseback ride.   

59  
Conscius ipse sibi, etc.  
REader, perhaps thou think'st I aim at thee,  
Yes, much: to mean a man I do not know?  
Besides I hope thou never iniur'dst me,  
Then 'twere unlikely (faith) it should be so:  
But as by chance the blindman takes the Hare,  
So may I hit thee ere I am aware.   

60  
Male agens, odit lucem.  
DOrus disdains those verses he composed,  
Should to the press or public view be borough  
Lest greater matter be thereby disclosed,  
Then ever yet before was done or thought:  
Provided always you may see him drunk,  
Spend, sport, or spew, with any Shoreditch Punk.   

61  
invisibilis forma.  
Mistress Madrill wears evermore her mask,  
Which makes the people very much admire;  
●●t none so saucy dares the reason ask,  
●●r contradict it since 'tis her desire:  
For painted pictures, must (you know the guise)  
Be always curtained from the vulgar eyes.   

62  
Mali corui, maelum owm.  
SQuinto that peasant, with his meager face,  
Whose tongue is like unto an Adder's tail,  
●ust out of spleen these Epigrams disgrace,  
And if you'd hang him cannot choose but rail)  
His reason is that old distempered rage,  
Who writing near but once was hist from Stage.   

63  
Vsur●em damnat● vim patitur.  
Craesus' a Gallant, but of no great wit,  
Inveighs 'gainst Usury and interest;  
Maintaining simply that it is unfit  
men's substance by such profit were increased:  
But Croesus, talk no more, for I have known,  
When you yourself have put up three for one.   

64  
Canis ad vomitum,  
〈◊〉 that each night goes duly drunk to bed,  
Forgets to pray until her●●en is;  
And hath next morning drunk again and fed,  
Then swears as fast at whatsoeres amiss,  
So much he's mou'dat wagging of a hair,  
As Dick dares damn himself fore morning pra●   

65  
Ictus Piscator sapit.  
Brutus' at length escaped the surgeons hands,  
Begins to frolic as if all were well;  
●nd would not for the worth of thrice his lands,  
●ndure the brunt of such another hell;  
But leaves this farewell for his Physics hire,  
The child that's burnt, for ever dreads the fire.   

66  
Contemptae i●cent arts.  
●Oung Valentinus writes as many hands  
As any Clerk within the Town he dwells;  
●e Latin, French, and Du●ch he understands,  
multis alys more than much excels:  
●here's no man knows how Fortune yet may lift him,  
●hough at this time he wants a shirt to shift him.   

67  
Caecus amor, caeca libido.  
SEcretus in the night a drabbing goes,  
That lurking lives by daylight like the Owl;  
But then his lustful limbs upon her throws,  
And near looks on her, be she fair or foul,  
Or lewd, or loathsome, lamed, diseased, or commo●  
It only likes Secretus she's a woman.   

68  
Quorsum purgatio haec?  
COrnelius thinks it best he take purgation,  
As well t'expel those humours that abound,  
As to beguile some others expectation,  
That for his pleasure pleaseth not be found:  
I doubt Cornelius then will purge so long,  
As he'll not leave himself a penny strong.   

69  
Tunica Pallio proprior.  
TIburnus keeps a Tavern near the Fields,  
Where Ba●chus filled with Nectar nightly sports,  
And Venus pleased, with sweet persuasion yields;  
Unseen of Vulcan when as Mars resorts,  
But to jump plainly to the point indeed,  
'tis thought his Wife best serves the turn at need.   

70  
Stultorum Sapientia.  
COrinus waxen poor devised best  
What Art or skill might next advantage bring,  
So many proofs his cunning had professed,  
As could be framed almost on any thing:  
At length resolved, his Country he for sook,  
And of his travails wrote a fustian Book.   

71  
Non Brachia sed Nasus.  
NIck being drunk one night disgraced his nose  
Against the post, he groping could not feel,  
Nor how he hurt himself doth yet suppose,  
But that his head was lighter than his heel:)  
But Nick, if I might censure of thy harms,  
I think thy nose was longer than thine arms.   

72  
Faetido sic fla●u, turget superbia.  
AS young Renaldo stood devising best  
To please his Lady with some pretty tale,  
(Whose settled countenance there to addressed  
And bashful blushing did him then appall)  
He therewith coughing, chanced to let a fart,  
Which ever since hath dashed him out of heart.   

73  
Nec caste, nec cautè.  
Wlcanus vows to prosecute the law,  
'Gainst one that wronged his beloved Nell;  
Whom for her part she never felt nor saw:  
And how she lives that let her neighbours tell,  
If she her carriage do not closely bear,  
Though he, her husband, once a Bankrupt were.   

74  
Infamia, fama.  
SArdinia swaggers, but with good report.  
Though she preserve a morsel for her friend,  
The course she takes is of another sort;  
Then doth to Grooms or Waistcoat wenches tend;  
For, (but herself excepted) she'll be sworn,  
The worst are Knights on Gentlewomen borne.   

75  
Nescis quò serus vesper vehat.  
LIncus deviseth as he lies in's bed,  
What new apparel he were best to make him;  
So many fashions flow within his head,  
As much he fears the Tailor will mistake him:  
But he mistook him not that by the way  
Did for his old Suit lay him up that day.   

76  
Est mihi diua parens, etc.  
OWinus wondereth since he came from Wales,  
What the description of this I'll should be,  
That near had seen but Mountains, Hills, and Dales,  
Yet would he boast, and stand on's Pedigree,  
From Rice ●p Richard, sprung from Dick a Cow,  
Be Cod was right good Gentleman: look ye now?   

77  
Nulli Thai negat.  
LVcina likes not to be over coy  
Amongst those friends that come in love to greet her  
For mirth and Music ever was her joy,  
And therein fails she none that dares but meet her:  
So firm her fancies do on pleasures fix,  
As she is wholly made of Merry-tricks.   

78  
Matrimonium meritrici Pallium.  
MArcella doth her daughter oft advise,  
She take example by her sister's fall,  
Lest worse danger should to her arise,  
And may her credit in like question call,  
Till she in marriage so herself advance,  
As may support it whatsoever might chance.   

79  
Simul & semel.  
CAntus both wood and wedded in one day,  
(Nor was it wondrous, as the case required)  
For she with child, no reason had to stay,  
And he contented, liked what love desired:  
Until he saw how soon her womb did rise,  
Which she excused, was now the common guise.   

80  
Bacchus triumphans.  
COcus that quondum kept both horse and man,  
And could have ta'en what not? upon his word:  
Now walks the Suburbs without Cloak or Wan,  
And fares as Fortune pleaseth to afford;  
More shame than pity 'tis, a man would think  
So great a portion could be spent in drink?   

81  
Sequitur vestigia Matris.  
●Idus too frankly brings his Wife abroad,  
Amongst our Roisters of the deepest rank,  
● who should say she that awry hath troad,  
●ll play the same, but not a worse prank,  
Unless she jump so just her Mother's mould,  
As like to her she'll prove as often sold.   

82  
Monstrum intus & extra.  
MOnsieur Mendoza wears a nose notorious,  
Not like the lustre of each Malmsey nose;  
●t such whose splendour is more glorious,  
●en richest Rubies, or the reddest Rose,  
Briefly the tenor, if I must di gelose,  
Mendoza hath indeed a monstrous nose.   

83  
Par pari, refers decet.  
OLd Menedemus that would never wed,  
But made his wenches serve in stead of men,  
Is now at length of such a morsellsped  
As quits his quondams with a Card of ten;  
For all those mungers did her most maintain,  
She now pays home with twice as much again.   

84  
Quid cogit necessitas?  
WHen Luscus late beheld a proper Lass,  
And of her dainties had desire to taste,  
Not knowing how to bring his suit to pass,  
He vowed to speed or hang himself in haste;  
She, fearing Luscus would have done't indeed,  
Yields, more to save his neck then serve his nee●.   

85  
Ingentes, tollunt aminos.  
Qvintus by nature was so hot and fiery,  
As on the least occasion strait would draw,  
And run himself into a Proeminiri,  
●ith resolution, in despite of law,  
Until the gail for twelve month taught him diet,  
Where (purged of choler) Quintus now lives quiet.   

86  
Parturiunt montes, etc.  
PEtrus will bring forth Epigrams hereafter,  
But I delivered am: my pains are past.  
●hen must his Muse be but my Muse's daughter,  
because (you see) mine gives the name of last:  
But Petrus means t'enlarge his Book with blanks,  
Fearing more labour, and more lines, than thanks.   

87  
Furoris praecipitium.  
Josephus hath his learning quite forgot,  
Yet, hence these Epigrams he headlong flings,  
That by no means his fancy feedeth not,  
They are such brutish beastly bawdy things,  
Was't not well aimed at, on so short a sight?  
Few of your fools do always jump so right.   

88  
Superbioe comes, inopia.  
SVsan that whilom wore her gowns of satin,  
And fared deliciously from day to day,  
(Translated into French from out of Latin,)  
Is fallen at length into that foul decay  
As all the means and money she can win,  
Will scarce procure the spital take her in.   

89  
Tempus ed●x rerum.  
WHen Mistress Winifrid did first her waistcoat wear,  
She scarcely could that carriage then maintain,  
● now on float herself a lost doth bear,  
●h flags and topsails launching forth amain:  
Whose force in hottest fight exceeds so far,  
As dares encounter any man of War.   

90  
Asp●●um nimis condimentum.  
MOunseir Albanus new invested is  
With sundry suits and fashions passing fit,  
● never any came so near as this,  
● joy where of Albanus frollickes it,  
Until the Tailor's bill of Solui fias,  
Diverts his humour clean to another bias.   

91  
Tobacco, vinum, Venus.  
FOcus grown fat, lives like an Epicure,  
And studies daily how he shall be fed,  
That can no more your walks in Paul's endure,  
But takes Tobacco as he lies in's bed:  
Where belching (like a Boar) he calls for Sack▪  
And only keeps a Whore to scratch his back.   

92  
Mulus mulam fricat.  
HOw comes it Mildred our next neighbour's m●  
That serves for wages scarce four marks a ye●  
Should go so rich and gorgeously arrayed,  
As to no little wonder may appear?  
Oh, 'tis her Master deals so like a brother,  
As one good turn deserves to quite another.   

93  
Quis Ebrius laudat temperantia●?  
Severus likes not these unseasoned lines,  
Of rude absurdities, times soul abuse  
〈◊〉 all posterities, and their assigns,  
●●at might have been (saith he) to better use:  
What senseless Gull, but reason may convince,  
Or lad so dull but being kicked will wince?   

94  
Fancies, non uxor amatur.  
CAnutus known a man of substance plenty,  
And grown a Grandsire to no mean a stock▪  
●ath wedded one supposed was under twenty,  
●hom poorly he received but in her smock:  
That since for recompense a son hath brought him,  
So old and able who would ere have thought him?   

95  
Nobilitas ignota, ignobilis.  
〈◊〉 boasts his Kin and Pedigree,  
Are such as may compare with greatest Peers,  
Nor can your Coat by half so ancient be;  
Before the Conquest known for many years;  
If that be ancient, which we do not not know,  
Then I conclude, his Gentry may be so.   

96  
Summis negatum stare di●.  
THarsus in Office bears himself as great  
As 〈◊〉 Bastard, who such labour won:  
Or 〈◊〉 himself that sat in 〈◊〉 seat,  
Or 〈…〉 said to rule the Sun:  
But so presumptuous he forgets his calling,  
As with young Ica●us I fear his falling.   

97  
Nonre, sed nomine Sponsus.  
LVcina languishing through long despair,  
That since her marriage-day ner'bred young bones,  
(And yet a Woman lusty, young, and fair,)  
〈◊〉 now delivered of two Boys at once:  
For which the Midwife praised her husband's skill,  
Yes: true (quoth she) the man did his good will.   

98  
Vadas si invideas.  
MOmus, thy malice I have looked for long,  
And made provision fit to entertain thee;  
●ut if thou guerdon my good will with wrong  
●hy coming I'll prevent, and much disdain thee.  
My board for bitter foes no meat affords,  
Thou therefore shalt be forced to eat thy words.   

99  
Quam fallimur in certis?  
IOcus in's humour weareth out the day,  
Counting it sin to take thought for to morrow,  
And makes a jest when he should come to pay;  
But pleads good earnest when he means to borrow.  
Yet see how jocus jests at length deceives him,  
That in the hole of Wood stre●t-Counter leaves him▪   

100  
Inequales trahunt Iuu●ncae.  
CVrta near mourned her husband being dead,  
Because she was too young, and wanted wit;  
But Curta since (the second time) hath sped,  
With one as much too old, and more unfit,  
Which (if you mark it) makes the prouerbef●  
She that hath borne a Calf, now bears a Bull.   

101  
Ambitio faeminini generis.  
Mistress Matressa hopes to be a Lady,  
(Not as a dignity of late expected)  
But from the time almost she was a Baby,  
That hath your richest Gentlemen rejected,  
But yet not dubbed in present, as she should be,  
Proves in expectance still, my Lady would be.   

102  
Amor non est acceptor personarum.  
IVlia hath sworn to love her Servingman,  
On whom she dares before her husband smile;  
And interchange those greetings now and than  
As may the times and his mistrust beguile,  
For julia thinketh it in conscience meet, (sweet  
Who tastes the sour, should sometimes feel th●●   

103  
unus Diabolus dominatur intribus.  
Ascrivener and a Usurer contends  
Against a Sergeant, which performeth most:  
Th'one says, he binds; th'other his money lends  
Then what (quoth they) remains that thou shouldst  
Yes (saith the Sergeant) if you note it well, (boast?  
I can conduct men living into Hell.   

104  
Sublata causa tollitur effectus.  
MOunseur Riero hath his wedlock lost,  
That 'gainst his credit proves a strong invective:  
Some censure this, and that; but by the most  
It's found apparent that he was defective:  
And therefore must he in a case so slender  
Be forced perforce his right and claim surrender.   

105  
Aquila non capit muscas.  
GRandus that great Colossus 'gins to learn him  
The Rules that longeth to a cunning Clerk:  
But saucy he's to think my lines concern him,  
Or any drunkard stumbling in the dark.  
No Grandus, know, I write of greater men,  
Thou art too base a subject for my Pen.   

106  
Praestat otiosum esse quam male agere.  
Vcres' lives lazily, and loves her ease,  
Meddling with nought that toil or labour brings;  
●ut to be idle less doth Lucres please  
●hen to be meddling with the meanest things,  
Which she accounts but as a venial sin,  
Having (alas) no other comings in.   

107  
Quot capita, tot sensus.  
SOme much commends your Humours ordinary,  
Others do more affect the lovely Greek;  
But most extols our English Secretary,  
No one can please all: all love not alike.  
Give me that fellows wit, whose follies Rhyme,  
Was bare-arst pictured on the back of Time.   

108  
Nititur in vetitum.  
Ask Minos why he marries not, he'll say  
Because he will not live at Rack and Manger;  
Whiles he may take a snatch, and so away  
In common corners, as a common Ranger;  
'twere no great matter if a man should name him▪  
Pish, bring him on the Stage you cannot shame hi●▪   

109  
unusquisque suo sensu.  
AS are my Epigrams no way precise,  
Or curiously compact, but plain indeed;  
So wish I not the Reader, overwise,  
To wrest or censure where there is no need,  
But if thou wilful wilt apply them to thee,  
All that I say, is, much good may they do thee.   

110  
Aliud simulat, aliud agit.  
proface (quoth Fulvio) fils the other quart,  
Nay, since weare met, let us not budge till ten:  
●hat's he that will not pledge me with a heart?  
●ll this to any one dares say Amen,  
But calling for a jourden, steals away,  
And leaves the reckoning for the rest to pay.   

111  
Serio, si Sero.  
NO more carousing Tomki●, if you love me;  
When was there seen a civil woman drunk?  
In any thing but this command or prove me:  
Nay, than you'd use me as a common Punk.  
Faith Sir, I scorn't: nor care I for your Wine,  
Give me your money ere you have what's mine.   

112  
Ede, bibe, lude.  
COme on, says Mounseur Rake-hill, what shal● do●  
shall's kill a Sergeant, or go rob for treasure?  
What hath thy stomach most a mind unto?  
We ne'er shall younger purchase greater pleasure:  
Live still, and lack? 'sfoot, something we'll intend,  
They can but hang us for't and there's an end.   

113  
Moritur cum tempor● mutant.  
SVperbus looks no lower than the sky,  
Yet is unskilful in Astronomy:  
●is like he knows for certain he must die,  
●ut would not see the place where he should lie:  
Take heed Saperbus, may a number cry,  
Thou be not damned for pride and villainy.   

114  
Nocturnae lu●ubrationes periculos●.  
●Lora gains more by labour in the night,  
Then can her husband purchase any way:  
●hat would she not procure her if she might  
●e so employed ' with business all the day?  
That might be censured soon by him, or those  
Who best the burdens of her labour knows.   

115  
Sequentur tandem deteriora.  
HAng't, a pox on't (quoth Vincent) let it go,  
'tis not the most that I have lost before,  
He was a Rascal to abuse me so:  
Spent I as much as he is worth and more  
'Twill not undo me: but (brave Vince) it will,  
If you continue in this humour still.   

116  
Quod roget Natura ●iat.  
MAtilda grown to age, full fourteen years,  
Betrothes herself against her Father's will,  
And less the threatenings of her mother fears  
To join in wedlock, prove it good or ill:  
Which to undo she scorneth with her heels,  
So much she now the prick of conscience feels.   

117  
Sic ars diluditur absent.  
WHen Ralph returns each evening from a play,  
He tells his wife he was at shop that while,  
Which simply she believes and goes her way,  
●hen laughs to see he could her so beguile  
And come upon her: but if all be true,  
there's many (Ralph) plays on her more than you.   

118  
Quisque sua vindicat.  
MY Epigrams how ever poorly borne,  
And at an instant huddled up in haste,  
●oe boldly yet the name of Bastard scorn,  
●hat savour not of stolen or borrowed taste:  
Many have fathered what they have not known,  
My comfort only is, What's mine's mine own.   

119  
Quaesola, magis errat.  
YOung Mistress Rose to Pymlico is gone,  
(A place I hope no City creature blames,)  
But it's suspicious that she walks alone,  
And not in troops amongst our London Dames:  
Because the wicked terms it as a Burse,  
To meet and talk, but afterwards do worse.   

120  
Facile obliviscuntur maximi.  
GAllanto falls in rage this other day,  
Missing a suit he thought was stolen, or sold,  
But presently remembered where it lay,  
For by his Page 'twas peremptory told,  
He knew before (which need no such vexation)  
That that and more was pawned the last vacation.   

121  
Audentes fortuna juuat.  
●Souldier once a Widow would have wooed,  
But being poor and loath to be denied,  
●st not impart how he affected stood,  
●ich she as soon thus censured as espied:  
You may be valiant (Sir) but seem unlusty,  
That either have no weapon, or 'tis rusty.   

122  
Exclamat Sydera sero.  
●Oung Master Pignus swears he less endures  
To deal with Brokers then so many Devils,  
●ich next to Bawds, and Panders him assures,  
even as bad or rather worse evils:  
That more inflict (saith he) than sword, or dearth,  
And therefore calls them very Devils on earth.   

123  
Forma, bonum fragilè.  
RVgosa waxen old hath broke her glass,  
And lives in hatred with her own complexion  
Remembering but the form it whilom was,  
Which when she looked on gave that sweet reflecti●●  
But now despairing, thinks no crystal stone▪  
Can show good countenance that receiveth non●   

124  
Conscia mens quaeritur.  
Lysanders' wife near joyed her heart's content,  
Since now this second time she proved with chil●●  
For well she knew the labour ill was spent,  
That had her Husband secretly beguiled:  
But most to think (which is the worst she f●●  
The world's suspicion when it comes to years.   

125  
Amica omnibus, inimica nulli.  
NEd with his first espoused never thrived,  
The reason was her unalluring feature,  
●ut now at length with such a wench hath wived,  
〈◊〉 is composed another kind of Creature:  
Who faster than a man bespeaks her wares,  
Deals all she can to free her Husband's car●s.   

126  
Fatinecessitas.  
WHen Taurus plagues the people through his might,  
he'll still allege the law shall bear him out;  
●hough conscience knows 'tis neither just nor right,  
●et threats by law to bring the same about:  
But Taurus for a Cuckold's pointed at,  
I wonder Taurus hath no law for that?   

127  
In caud● non in capite.  
SIlla in rage hath sworn to leave the law,  
That will not half suffice to bear his charge,  
Such take in a Term he never saw,  
And little reason hath to spend at large,  
Were not his wife of Clients better sped,  
Silla had long ere this been dead, or fled.   

128  
Cynicus.  
Nature hath framed Fastidius like a Dog,  
Of that unhuman shape, so true a Dog  
As he's reputed for a very Dog,  
Or rather one more biting than a Dog:  
Who since by due he is so deemed a Dog,  
It must ensue that he will die a Dog.   

129  
Aliquid bonum propter vicinum bonum.  
WHen Borus with his betters ●its at Board,  
He vomits strait his humours bitterness,  
●nd will exceptions take at every word:  
although it poison prove to more or less,  
Who patient must perforce therewith partake,  
Not for his own, but for his Phillis sake.   

130  
Tam notus ut nasus.  
TOM takes it as a pride that I should name him  
Within the Circuit of my Books precinct;  
〈◊〉 intercepts me, with, I can not shame him,  
● if he knew my meaning by instinct:  
For thus, hopes he, the more a man rails on him,  
The more he will in time bestow upon him.   

131  
Theatrum licentia.  
COtta's become a Player, most men know,  
And will no longer take such toiling pains;  
For here's the spring (saith he) whence pleasures flo●  
And brings them damnable excessive gains,  
That now are Cedars grown from shrubs and sprig●●  
Since Green's Tu-quoque and those Garlic ligs.   

132  
Sola meamecum porto.  
SOme, that my lines have madded, make report,  
What er' I write is all by imitation;  
Others, of whose abuses I make sport,  
Say, that I want more matters variation,  
Or that from borrowed-wit I seek my fame,  
Let them have patience, I'll pay each his shame.   

133  
Equitare i● arundine longa.  
●Oane loveth not this jesting with edge-tools,  
That oft were wont to hurt her unawares,  
●nd therefore means to deal with none but fools  
●●frich enough) how blunt, she never cares;  
Though well 'tis known her iestings too too evil,  
For she is able coney-catch the Devil.   

134  
Maximus Ignotis.  
GOrgonius brags what wonders he hath wrought,  
Tickling himself with self-conceit vainglory,  
●sin what fray or skirmish he hath fought:  
●o strangers whom he meets he'll preach a story,  
But what thou art Gorgonius well I wot,  
'Tis best thou tell it them that know thee not.   

135  
Audi, cerne, tace.  
FOrtune (it seems) respects not honesty,  
Nor envies any man that doth her scorn;  
For Tassus seemed her honest friend to be,  
And yet his Fortune is to wear the Horn,  
Which kindly he puts up and will not blow it,  
Because his foes, to spite him, shall not know it.   

136  
Contra vim durare noluit.  
PArnella pines away with discontent,  
And of misfortunes deeply doth deplore her▪  
Deeming the powers no way indifferent,  
Her younger sister should be match before her:  
And herein will the case no longer smother,  
For since she is no wife she'll prove a mother.   

137  
Peccatum vetus, paenitentia nou●.  
●Agus, with's wit, at length was overreached,  
Who having won a widows chastity,  
〈◊〉 more her credit then his own impeached,  
●her with child through importunity,  
But since supposing all things done and ceased,  
●s forced to pay an hundred pounds at least.   

138  
O stulte hac nocte, etc.  
●Varus wished his Coin and cou●●les store,  
Might in a moment yield him so much more;  
〈◊〉 saw behind him in a looking glass,  
●worthlesse wish at length was come to pass:  
●ut than came Death that did the Miser smother,  
●nd gave him equal joy of th'one as th'other.   

139  
Stultus varietatis avidus.  
ZOilus expects my verses more should vary,  
To please the Readers ear with choice digressed  
Tut Zoilus, know, I am not mercenary,  
Besides, it is no badge of my profession:  
Yet few have writ more Epigrams then I.  
Who says the contrary, I say, they lie.   

140  
Tandem sese ●urgit in al●um.  
DIck swore he doubted not to mount ere long,  
And be no more the man he whillome was,  
For he would live or lie in prison strong,  
Which to make good he quickly brought to pass●  
That having rob the vestry at All-hallows,  
Was forced within a fortnight mount the gallo●●   

141  
Non intus sed extra.  
A Citizen (whose wife would sometimes sport)  
Spying her tricks, first grieved, and then fell sick,  
To whom his friends would oftentimes resort,  
And ask him where his pain did ache or prick;  
No where (quoth he) yet well I shall be never,  
The pain I feel, is long of my bad liver.   

142  
Vt populus Nanus.  
NAnus, though dwarfish, hath a devilish wit,  
Whose tongues the harbinger, that gets him diet,  
●nd therewith strives all companies to fit,  
Though what he wants, he'll boast his gold shall buy it:  
Ask how he lives, he'll tell you strait (with oaths)  
By tricks, Tobacco, strumpets, and good clothes.   

143  
Amalo ad peius.  
MIlo with's swearing makes absurdities  
Amongst the vulgar, seem as verities;  
For that (thinks he) a man esteems his oath,  
Whom otherwise to credit would be loath:  
But now such is his chance whereat he's grieved,  
The more he swears, the less he is believed.   

144  
Quae vetera non curamtu.  
MY Epigrams escaped the Printers hand,  
Either on Stationer's stal's regardless lie,  
Or must on Posts, for penance, nailed stand,  
That every one may gaze on, passing by;  
Which to prevent, and therewith purchase pelf,  
Tom Coriat sold the Books he made himself.   

145  
Non honos, sed onus.  
A Knight that bought his Order, strait grew ill,  
complaining much that he had caught mischance  
physicians could not cure him with their skill,  
●or he himself with all his strength advance:  
He strained his back so stooping to the ground,  
As he near since could lift up twenty pound.   

146  
Dignum, quod merito.  
●Ammon the Usurer hath such a wife,  
As lays it on, though he himself doth starve;  
〈◊〉 is resolved to live a Lady's life,  
●●e whilst his pelf may her in pomp preserve:  
Mammon, this curse pursues thy wealth's abuse,  
She spends for pleasure what thou gets by use.   

147  
Patris aegrotans.  
DEgo grew sick because his Dad left giving,  
And of consumption would have died outright▪  
Had not the Churl the sooner left his living.  
Whereby Master Diego since was dubbed a Knight.  
Unhappy son, to draw such vital breath,  
That Phoenix like liv'st by thy father's death?   

148  
Facile parta, facilius locata.  
TWo Lawyers opposite in two men's cases,  
Railed at each other in most vehement sort;  
With many bitter terms and foul disgraces,  
As those that heard them, blushed at such report:  
Next night they meeting, laughed at their past-ia●  
And what they got, spent freely at the Bar.   

149  
A malo ad peius.  
A Country Farmer had a friend at Court,  
That for his Coin procured him to be Knighted  
On whom his neighbours now gives worse report,  
Saying, that since all housekeeping is slighted,  
Therefore, in truth, they did him much unright,  
To spoil so good a Clown for such a Knight.   

150  
Vt tempora, mores.  
A Pander once apparelled wondrous brave,  
Was asked why Fortune favoured such a knave;  
Who said, by Fortunes-wheele he did not climb,  
Our riches comes (quoth he) by this bald time,  
Wherein we free ourselves from pains and care,  
Living, like Barbers, by men's loss of hair.   

151  
Non Verbera, sed verba.  
TWo Scholars late appointed for the field,  
Must (which was weakest) to the other yield;  
●he quarrel first began about a word,  
●hich now should be decided by the sword:  
But ere they drew, there fell that alteration,  
As they grew friends again with disputation.   

152  
Vera filia matris.  
A Gentle Virgin sprung of gentle blood,  
Much on her birth and reputation stood,  
Who proved so gentle to Gentility,  
As she was got with child apparently:  
For if men gently would put kindness on her,  
She never would ungently put it from her.   

153  
In fundis Parsimonia.  
CAius hath vowed it for this year at least,  
To sup no more in Taverns at such charge,  
But in his private Chamber means to feast,  
And send for victuals by his men at large,  
Tut, what should Caius in such cost excel,  
When Eggs, and Butter will suffice as well?   

154  
Suum cuique pulchrum.  
CVruus being asked why he such Roses wore,  
Upon his dirty Calue-skin-cobbled shoes?  
●nd evermore in summer Socks forbore?  
His answer was, he could nor will, nor chose:  
But Curnus know such Roses are unmeet,  
To help the savour of thy stinking feet.   

155  
Post dulcia finis amarus.  
IEnkin a Welshman that had suits in law,  
journeying to London chanced to steel a Cow,  
For which (pox on her luck, as near man saw,)  
Was burnt within the fist and know not how:  
Being asked if well the laws with him did stand,  
Was have her now (quoth jenkin) in her hand.   

156  
Ignotae, nulla Cupido.  
FLorella, fallen a year before her time,  
(To salve the forfeit of her Maiden head  
That must no longer for promotion clime)  
Prostrates herself unto a Vintner's bed,  
Where Gallants knock each midnight at her do  
To taste the juice that had no Bush before.   

157  
Nemo nascitur Artifex.  
●F these (quoth Potus) prove not things admired,  
When poor Mechanic toiling watermen,  
●●all with Apollo's Muse be strait inspired,  
●o leave their skulls, and deal with Poets-pen:  
Let Hercules be henceforth termed a Dwarf,  
And Paules-Church-yard exchanged for Puddle-wharf.   

158  
Pravi magis p●osunt.  
●Ionus the Scrivener by procurements gets  
More in a month than keeps him all the year,  
●owing those Mountibanckes that money lets,  
〈◊〉 forfeit-pledges (prove they near so dear:)  
Let Bawds (quoth Pignur) beg, and Brokers fall,  
It's too well known, he gains the Devil and all.   

159  
Mala crescunt deteriora.  
PHilo taketh Physic every spring and fall,  
Presuming thereby to prolong his life,  
But never notes the danger therewithal  
That comes by niggling with his neighbour's wife,  
Pox on't: but last year shaven to the chin,  
Must now again this term anew begin?   

160  
Tandem saturata Cupido.  
IEta that whilom Ladylike did let it,  
Upon the wheel of Fortune's highest top:  
And scorned to fear mischance (if Gold could let●  
Now prostrate keeps a poor Tobacco-shop,  
Where wont pains to win the golden fleece;  
Of each, is purchased but at pence a piece.   

161  
Foeminae ludificantur ●irs●.  
●Inde Katherens to her husband kissed these word●,  
Mine ownesweet Will, how well do I love thee?  
●●rue (quoth Will) the world no such affords,  
●nd that it's true I durst his warrant be:)  
For near heard I of Woman good or ill,  
But always loved best her own sweet Will.   

162  
Timet, seipsum noscere.  
●Acus doth daily to his Doctor go,  
As doubting if he be in health or no;  
〈◊〉 when his friends salute him passing by,  
〈◊〉 ask him how he doth, in courtesy,  
He will not answer thereunto precise,  
Till from his Doctor he hath ta'en advise.   

163  
Cignus per plumas A●ser.  
Put off thy Buskins (Soph●eles the great,)  
And mortar tread with thy disdained shanks,  
Thou think'st thy skill hath done a wondrous feat,  
For which the world should give thee many thancks▪  
Alas, it seems thy feathers are but loose,  
Plucked from a Swan, and set upon a Goose.   

164  
Fingit quod Foemina vellet.  
CLara half angry with my Bawdy song,  
Strait told her husband she had done with 〈◊〉  
Fie Clara, I should suffer much more wrong,  
Ere I would tell what I have done with thee;  
But Clara, should I speak my conscience plain●  
I know thou wouldst it were to do again.   

165  
Per linguam ●audam.  
FRisca saith fain she would be rid of me,  
And in that scorn she takes a wondrous pride:  
Frisca, hark hither what I'll say to thee,  
Thou art too rank a jade for me to ride:  
And therefore prithee (Frisca) do not rail,  
For fear they venomed tongue disclose thy ()   

166  
Dupliciter beatus.  
A Freeman once of London made a Knight,  
Would in that Order still maintain his Trade,  
●nd traffic as before, taking delight  
●o say, his wealth would grow when Titles fade,  
'Twas wisely thought upon, so let it be,  
Thy son shall brave it for himself and thee.   

167  
Sic surd● canimus.  
A Welshman was to an Italian told,  
That could his language perfectly dispute,  
Which he believed as Gospel uncontrolled,  
And with Italian gins him strait salute,  
Th'other, admiring as a man dismayed,  
Answered in Welsh he knew not what he said.   

168  
Conscia quae nota.  
LExander called Carina Hackney-woman,  
True: borne at Hackney; that was no disgrace:  
Oh yes, she doubts you deemed her hackney-commo●  
Alluding more her person then the place.  
For why? her conscience tells her vnrequired,  
How like a Hackney she hath long been hired.   

169  
Praestat latrare quam mordere.  
OLd Chubb for cheapness chose to live in Commons,  
But not to study more than kitchens law;  
〈◊〉 hearkening when the Cook a manger summons,  
●nd that's Chubb's chiefest care, to cram his maw,  
Oh no, I lie: he keeps in cleanly case,  
The Pump, the Privy, and the Pissing-plac●.   

170  
Dignior faemnia marito.  
●Aius shifts not so oft his Serving men  
As doth his wife exchange her Chamber-maid●,  
●e one but notes him jealous now and then,  
tother (should seem) her secrets more upbraids,  
The poor effect whereof consists in this,  
He but the shadow, she the substance is,   

171  
Senibus voluisse satis.  
OLd Caecus that a young wench sought to win▪  
Protested he would prove an honest man,  
Saving this one proviso putteth in,  
You may not bar his feeling now and than;  
For though his stomach doth your flesh despise,  
To sup the broth would Caecus yet suffice.   

172  
Quid non verba suadeant?  
SExtus half salved his credit with a jest,  
That at a reckoning this devise had got,  
When he should come to draw amongst the rest  
And saw each man had coin; himself had not,  
His empty pocket feels, and 'gins to say,  
By jesus Sirs, here's not a Cross to pay.   

173  
Nemo ●isi per vultum notus.  
CAcus constrained on sudden to untruss,  
Turned up his podex in the open street  
But hid his face: and to them answered thus  
That passed by, and told him 'twas unmeet,  
there's none (quoth Cacu●) by mine arse that knows me,  
How beastly else soever they suppose me.   

174  
Posteriora placant.  
DRuso his Darkis had not kissed all day  
Which he entreated she would bear in mind,  
That longing at her lips provoked him stay:  
But therewith told her 'twas the more behind,  
Till fit occasion might desire fulfil)  
As much behind (quoth Darkis) as you will.   

175  
Sat, satis esse dives.  
C●im, since his father's death, is clean unapt,  
To follow now his former course began,  
That better Suits to be in Velvet wrapped,  
And seems to brave it out with any man;  
Why may not Clim such garments boldly wear?  
Being left more money than an Ass can bear.   

176  
Aliquid in nubibus.  
SCorus gives reckonings most irregulate,  
For Salads, thus: for Fruit and sweetmeats, so much▪  
But that is commonly when Mistress Kate  
Sups in the Flower-d●-Luc● with Sir john owemuch:  
Who, if his credit be ●o longer took,  
Will mortgage him the Manor of Goe-looke.   

177  
Nil violentum perpet●um.  
●Haedra transformed from being a Chambermaid,  
Ruffled a while with Robes of richest price,  
●ll of a Bastard she was lately laid,  
●●d had foretold, her Lord did her entice,  
But then she carelessly repulsed, and gone,  
Fell for the Seruing-groomes to seize upon.   

178  
Formidat Stollidus vmbr●s.  
●Oung Tregoose would by no meane● seal that Bill  
Which worse (saith he) than Drabs or Dice enthrall men,  
●edging this to be the only ill,  
'cause 'twas written, Be it known to all men,  
For were't (quoth Tregoose) to my Father known,  
he'll think me sure some Bastard, not his own.   

179  
Huic fronti fides.  
CReta scorns any but her own complexion,  
Wishing her spotless lives integrity,  
Were but as free from faults and foul detection,  
As is her face from filthy Mercury:  
'Tshall near be said but Creta for her part,  
Dealt plainly upwards without tricks or art.   

180  
Prosunt modo, verbera verbis.  
MVsco would always use to beat his maids,  
Unless 'twere little Susan that came last,  
Not caring which his service most upbraids  
With deeds of darkness that are done and passed,  
But here the question is how Susan dealt,  
That she with Child his weight yet never felt.   

181  
Si hody tibi, cras mihi.  
A Scornful Dame invited over night,  
To come and dine next morrow with a Knight,  
Refused his sudden bidding with disdain,  
To whom this message was returned again,  
Since with so short time she could not dispense,  
To pray her come as that day twelve month hence.   

182  
Vt populus mundus.  
PLancus complains the world's still worse & worse,  
Whether he means the people or his purse,  
Or both in one, or one in both combines  
But thus I think, he rather it defines,  
Like as with people there's less conscience found  
So yields his purse, of late, more lighter sound.   

183  
Occulta tandem prodiunt in lucem.  
AS Curios Page lay sleeping in the Porch,  
That had been watching th'other night before,  
A servingman in th'interim stole his Torch,  
Which after missing made him much deplore:  
To whom quoth some that saw him in such plight,  
Peace boy, thy Torch (no doubt) will come to light;   

184  
Adte (Scabiose Poeta▪)  
SCalpo hath got an itch in Poetry,  
With which conceit doth oft his elbow scratch,  
And sooner hopes to come in print hereby,  
Then any young beginner of his match:  
As cast-off Chambermaids convert to Drabs,  
So may thy itch in time break out to scabes.   

185  
Ebrius plus vitium t●ahit.  
Cestus' must sometimes solace with his Punk,  
Which he accounts more needful than his meat,  
● and holds it Physic to be often drunk,  
● both which mesteries he's so complete,  
As seldom with the one he'll dine or sup,  
But will be sure to cast the other up.   

186  
Magnus persona, parvus Crumena.  
GRandus grows great, yet lives he poor with all  
How mean you then? he's fat and well set forth?  
●rue: but 'tis strange his Incomes are so small,  
●man of that huge show and seeming worth,  
How could his belly half so big have been,  
But that it shows he had great comings in?   

187  
Quos amat, ampleclitur.  
Franciscus' loves to feast men at his table,  
Sparing for nought that money can procure,  
All which he thinks too little and unable,  
Their least of loves or friendships to allure:  
Yea Master Francis; use you so to do?  
Prithee feast me and have my friendship to.   

188  
Bis monitus, armatus.  
Mistress Mallina vows she'll never marry,  
Whiles some survive; that her amendss should m●  
Hath she not reason to be wise and wary,  
That would so great adventures undertake,  
Thrice to be got with child by younger Broths  
That swore to wed her, and are matched with oth●   

189  
Clericus sine libro.  
PRomus the Puritan though clownish, knows,  
Atricke of ten which he from Clerks hath found,  
●ho to the Tenant in possession goes,  
●o prove him if for purchase he'll compound:  
And thus doth Promus like a Tumbler toil,  
Whiles greater Dogs expect to share the spoil.   

190  
Incerta, somnia.  
●Orastes dreamt he was so fortified,  
In spite of Fates, with favour and protection,  
●s through the Streets he did in triumph ride,  
●nd proudly rule the roast by his direction:  
But waking since, with passions most extreme,  
he's vexed that all this while he did but dream.   

192  
Ad Th●mam Coriat. Nuper admirabilem.  
WOnder of writers (for so once thou wert,)  
What pity 'tis thy fame no longer lasted,  
That such of note in travel and desert,  
Like timeless Blossoms should so soon be blaste●  
For thus far boldly may thy Book compare,  
How ill so ever sure 'twas passing rare.   

193  
A●eundem.  
WHat fame at first exceeding worths in 〈◊〉  
Had thy late travels and adventures wrough  
Wherein thou simply didst put down that woma●  
Which to the Court a Devonshire white pot brought  
Hers for reward was quickly done and passed,  
Thine on Record will ever extant last.   

193  
To john of Powles-Church-yard.  
Hail jocund john made all of jovizance,  
And midst the Garden of the Muses dwellest,  
●hou best deserves my verse should thee advance,  
●hat with those curious compliments excellest:  
And Galla●●s gret'st with that abundant grace,  
Vssh'ring thy flatcap fore thy fleering face.   

194  
To the guilty Coxcomb.  
●Ease gald-backt Gull to question what or whence,  
Or who I am that did these lines compose,  
〈◊〉 thou not privately with shame dispense,  
〈◊〉 needs must have it published to thy nose?  
Will any fool suspect what no man thinks?  
Know'st not a ●. the more it's stirred it stinks?   

195  
Improbè quae parta, periunt.  
GIgas that iourneth daily to and fro,  
'mongst Courts and Clerks his causes to retai●  
Will no advantage, time, or toil, foreslow,  
To bring him damned and detestable gain:  
All which and twice as much will not defray,  
The charge that Gigas (with a pox) must pay.   

196  
Duplex pudor, Impudentia.  
SCruto the Scrivener that had lost his ears,  
Whereon his locks he much more pendant wea●  
Hath late the like or worse Cousnage wrought,  
And to the Pillory again is brought,  
Where now the Hangman (nought suspecting) 〈◊〉  
Why sl●●e quoth Scruto, must I still find ears?   

197  
Quaere aliud diuerscri●m.  
Pontus' in's journey traveling towards Lyn,  
Grew wondrous weary and of force would Inn●,  
Where he an Ostler calls, who cries, Anon,  
But stayed so long that Pontus would be gone:  
With that he heard within one laugh, and say,  
Prithee make haste the Cockney will not stay,  
But Pontus cries again, and would not pass,  
Until mine Host himself put up the Ass.   

198  
Si quae latent, peiora puta.  
MVrus when first he married with a Whore,  
Was truly termed a cloak to shield the rain,  
But he his cloak since that time never wore,  
Because the world should do him right again▪   

199  
Mens hominis novitatis a●ida.  
YOung Prodigus new fashions still invents,  
And aught that ancient is will nought esteem,  
What others fancies likes least him contents,  
But all things needs will out of order deem;  
Which is the urgent cause I understand  
Why Prodigus did sell his fathers Land.   

200  
Ne Suitor ultra, etc.  
A Cobbler and a Curate once disputed,  
Before a judge about the King's Injunctions;  
Wherein the Curate being still confuted,  
One said, 'twere good if they two changed functions  
Nay (quoth the judge) I thereto should be loath▪  
But and you will we'll make them cobblers bot●   

201  
Magnis, minora a grata.  
rued Lalus, came to me six Crowns to borrow,  
And swore (God damn him) he would paid to morrow,  
●ew his word as currant as his band,  
〈◊〉 therefore gave him but three Crowns in hand,  
●his I to part with, he to take was willing,  
●nd thus he gained, and I saved fifteen shilling.   

202  
Domina, non Sponsa perita.  
Ou wished me to a wife fair, rich, and young,  
That had the Latin, French and Spanish tongue;  
〈◊〉 thanks I told you, I desired none such,  
〈◊〉, one language might be tongue too much,  
〈◊〉 love not I the learned? yes as my life,  
learned Mistress, not a learned wife.   

203  
Amicus incertus in re certa.  
COquinus vowed all kindness that he could,  
I should command and find him as I would,  
No sooner thanked I him, but presently  
He craved my help, which I could not deny:  
But then he swore since I his friend so stood,  
'Sfoot he would die the death to do me good,  
It chanced I claimed his vow in time of need,  
But to perform it he proved dead in deed,   

204  
Artes laudantur et algent.  
PLancus the Poet lives but poor and bare,  
Yet near was known a man, of miccle spending  
For Puddings still were wont to be his fare,  
Tut, Bad beginnings may have better end.   

205  
Sudor servi pascit dominum.  
LArgus hath Offices so great so many,  
As he can scarce directly serve in any,  
No matter Largus, thou look'st to the gains,  
And tak'st the profit who ere takes the pains:  
Thy Clerks sufficient are to do thee grace,  
That on thy Gate this Emblem well may place.  
A Penman prostrate at an Idiot's foot,  
(This being the motto) Sir, my man shall do't.   

206  
Vulgaris ut nomen.  
parvus whose purse at reckonings near appeared,  
carries a conscience blacker than his beard,  
Which to the world doth boldly testify,  
〈◊〉 not so damned as yet he means to die.   

207  
Signum ventris, Apetitus.  
WHen trusty Tom his Master durst reprove,  
That once a wench besides his wife did love▪  
He angry seeming at his bold report,  
Requires him shortly after in this sort:  
Calling to mind how much beyond all meat,  
His man would most these buttered Parsnips ●ate,  
He caused his Cook according to his wish,  
To dress that only and no other dish;  
Which Tom (suspecting nought) devours apace,  
And never ceased to debate the case.  
But fell upon them like a hungry Boar,  
That had not fed himself a day before,  
But n●xt meal, finds the like and falls aboard,  
Eating what then his stomach could afford,  
〈◊〉 now presuming of some other change,  
〈◊〉 finding Parsnips still; thought then 'twas strange,  
〈◊〉 once again (quoth Tom) I mean to eat them,  
〈◊〉, to his Master (swears) he will repeat them:  
〈◊〉 still that dish was dressed accordingly,  
●●ich when as Tom the fourth time did espy,  
〈◊〉 to his Master goes to know the meaning,  
〈◊〉 only this, and other meats restraining,  
〈◊〉 (qouth he) you asked me this last day,  
〈◊〉 I for change of pasture went astray:  
〈◊〉 Buttered Parsnips you so much desire,  
〈◊〉 strange you then should other meats require,  
Sir, (quoth Tom) I now pick out the sense,  
〈◊〉 Parsnips teach me that experience.   

208  
Sic Daemon Daemona fallit.  
Zanthus' arrested, did the Sergeant pray  
He might not strait unto the Counter go;  
But thence persuades him in some Tavern stay  
To send for Bail, and fees on him bestow:  
Whereto the Sergeant freely condescends,  
And being come they call for Wine at large,  
Which Xanthus seeing, doth invite his friends  
That passed along, to make the greater charge:  
For nought he meant (nor could he ought defray,  
Though seeming takes it to himself alone,)  
But when the reckoning came at length to pay,  
Draw that have coin (quoth Xanthus) I have no●  
●he Vintner vexed, swore he should not part  
from thence that night, till he were satisfied▪  
●ary (quoth Xanthus) even with all my heart,  
could desire I might with you abide▪  
●he Sergeant daunted in this case to see him,  
●as volens nolens forced discharge the shot,  
●or being now grown late he thence must free him,  
With coin or credit where he would or not,  
But well young Z●nthus knew they would not fail him,  
●hat did next morning from the Counter bail him▪   

211  
Rarus, qui publicus olim.  
OF all the Toms that ever yet were named,  
Was never Tom like as Tom Coriat framed:  
Tom Fool may go to school, but near be taught  
Speak Greek, with which our Tom is richly fraught  
Tom Ass may pass, but yet for all his ●ares  
No such rich jewels as our Tom he wears:  
Tom telltruth is but froth, and truth to tell,  
Of all Toms our Tom bears away the Bell.   

212  
Similis cum simili.  
●OM went to th'Market where Tom met with Tom,  
Tom asked Tom, What Tom● how farest thou Tom?  
●ho Tom, I Tom? yes Tom (quoth Tom,) you Tom:  
●ell God a-mercy Tom: how do you Tom?  
●ayth near so well (quoth Tom) since Tom was Tom,  
And thus was the greeting passed twixt Tom and Tom.   

213  
Foras parcus, domi prodigus.  
While Caius doth remain beyond the seas,  
And follows there some great important suit  
〈◊〉 lands bears neither Oats, nor Beans, nor Peaz,  
〈◊〉 yet his wife bears full and fair grown fruit;  
His Lands wants occupiers to manure them,  
But she hath store enough, and can procure them.   

214  
Postrema graviora.  
INcul●us comes to Town to learn new fashions,  
And will no more these rustic imitations,  
But not resolved as yet what course to affect,  
Entreats some stranger-friend would him direct▪  
Who first my Gull to Birchin-lane doth carry,  
To suit himself: from thence to th'Ordinary,  
Where, after many a pledge with full carouse,  
He needs must visit next a Bawdy-house,  
B●t there Incultus 'gan anew to quaff,  
And ever since was forced to leave his staff.   

215  
Timidus gloriosus.  
forbear t'attempt my patience if you love me,  
For I shall draw upon my dearest friends:  
he lest occasion on the earth will move me,  
●nd then 'twill be too late to seek amends.  
●ill you be quiet whiles I warning give?  
●hat? yet again provoke me to this gear?  
●rike but once more, as surely as I live  
●e be thy Priest though't cost me near so dear;  
〈◊〉, now remember you have drawn my blood,  
●elpe me, some honest man, or I shall sown,  
●eigh ho, he'll never do me so much good:  
●eare witness Gentlemen, he struck me down,  
●hich to revenge (oh that my blood would cease)  
●rue as I live I'll bind him to the peace.   

216  
Fronti●ulla fides.  
VO●us hath vowed to do me many favours,  
And by no means I must him gratify,  
But all his oaths and protestations ●auors  
Of nought but perjured vile hypocr●sie:  
Well, for this trick I'll near have more to do  
With one so wicked and a Witall too.   

217  
Dura●d● sordida surgunt.  
WHen Nut brown Nancy newly made a Bride  
(That used before to feed her father's swine  
Should more (sir reverence luck) be Ladify  
And all remembrance of what's past resign:  
Thereto preferred, alas poor pigs quoth she,  
Now I am gone, who must your mistress be?   

218  
Cedant arma Nummis.  
●H spare you Sir, you offer great disgrace  
To wish me sell my Rapier? fie, 'twere base:  
●arshall Gentleman of my profession  
〈◊〉 should be prostitute to such condition?  
●ooner part from forth the house I dwell  
〈◊〉 leave my pleasure I esteem so well:  
Rapier is my hearts sole excellence,  
lives chief propagation and defence:  
● blade Sir, I'll besworne is such a one  
●arther came from hence then Prester-Iohn,  
●et if it needs will please you look upon it,  
would but borrow some small silver on it.   

219  
Clericus sine libro.  
WHen Crassus in his Office was installed  
For sums of money, which he yet doth ow●  
A Client by the name of Clerk him called,  
As he next day to Westminster did go,  
Which Crassus hearing, whispers thus in's ear,  
Sirrah, you now mistake, and much do err,  
That henceforth must the name of Clark forbear,  
And know, I am become an Officer,  
Alas, quoth he, I did not so much mark,  
Good Master Officer that are no Clerk.   

220  
Durum telum necessitas.  
COquus with hunger, pennyless constrained,  
To call for meat and Wine three shillings cost,  
●ad suddenly this project entertained,  
〈◊〉 stead of What's to pay, to call mine host;  
●ho, being come, entreateth him discuss,  
●hat price the law allots for shedding blood,  
●hereto mine Host directly answers thus,  
●was always forty pence, he understood,  
So then (quoth Coquus) to requi●e your pains,  
Pray break my head, and give me what r●maines.   

221  
Amalo ad p●ius.  
IN elders time, as ancient custom was,  
Men swore in weighty causes by the Mass;  
But when the Mass went down (as others note)  
Their oaths were by the cross of this same groat:  
But then the cross was likewise held in scorn,  
And by their faith their common oath was sworn,  
Last having sworn away all Faith and troth  
God damn me, now is used their common oath.  
And thus by custom kept from times gradation,  
They loose Mass, Cross, and Faith, to find damnation   

222  
Habet & Rosa spinam.  
A Cater that of late some Wildfowl bought,  
Incontinent unto his Master brought;  
●ho smelling at them near about the rump  
●ayd out, thou knave these savour of the pump;  
●is man that was a rude and saucy lout  
●ounds, answers, Sir, swell you them thereabout?  
Smell your fair Lady there, and by your favour,  
You'll find a foul if not a fulsome savour.   

223  
Omnia probato, quod bonum est teneto.  
MY Epigrams dispatched, abroad I send them,  
To good and bad, that but a look will lend th●  
If any prove so kind that can befriend them,  
When they shall hear or know 'twas I that penned th●  
Even so▪ if otherwise, I'll not defend them,  
Much less (which were a shame) I should comes  
Then Reader (if thou wilt) ay prithee rend them▪   

224  
V● Case●s Li●er.  
●Eywood affirms, and proves in some degrees,  
That one may well compare a Book to Cheese:  
every Market some buy Cheese to feed on,  
every Mart some men buy Books to read on,  
sorts eat Cheese, but wherefore? there's the question,  
〈◊〉 poor for food, the rich for good digestion:  
sorts read Books, but why? will you discern,  
〈◊〉 Fool to laugh, the wiser sort to learn:  
〈◊〉 sight and sent of Cheese to some is hateful,  
〈◊〉 sight and sense of Books to some ungrateful:  
No Cheese there is that ever pleased all feeders,  
No Book there is that ever pleased all Readers.    

Liber Secundus.  

1  
Dulce, quod v●ile.  
AN honest Vicar riding by the way  
(Not knowing better how to spend the day;)  
〈◊〉 sing unto himself Geneva Psalms.  
blindman hearing him strait begged his alms,  
〈◊〉 whom (quoth he) with coin I cannot part,  
〈◊〉 God thee bless (good man) with all my heart:  
Oh, said the blind man, greater is our loss,  
When such as you do bless without a cross.   

3  
Sequitur invidia famam.  
TWo Madams once were striving for the wall,  
Both standing on their terms of worthiness:  
The one but young (howbeit rich withal)  
The other ancient, though of substance less,  
Said, soft and fair, till time hath ta'en fruition,  
Your Ladyship is of the last edition.   

4  
Quo se vertat, nescit.  
CVcullus hath disguised his former feature,  
And like Pythagoras transformed shape,  
Is now (me thinks) become another creature,  
Half French, half English (pox on such an Ape)  
That imitates all fashions far and near,  
Though 'gainst the hair he buys them never 〈◊〉   

5  
Credit colori,  
BAitus believed for a simple truth,  
That yonder gilt-spurre spruce ●nd velvet youth,  
Was some great parsonage, or worthy wight,  
●ntill one told him he was but a knight.  
A knaight (quoth Battus) vaith ay chud a zworne,  
A hod not been lass then zome Gentleman borne.   

6  
locabunda, ludibund●.  
Mistress Finetta for her ready wit,  
Is much admired, and beloved of many:  
But this one fault of hers confoundeth it,  
She jesting will deride and scoff at any:  
Which by an ill accustomed use comes on her,  
And yet there's one that plays as much upon her.   

7  
Sequitur fortuna nefanda.  
CRaicus through craft redeemed his credit cracked,  
That forced to leave his bankrupt occupation,  
Closed with a widow ere he was contract,  
Whose riches once more raised his reputation.  
That now midst fortunes floating to the brim,  
Craicus keeps strumpets, whiles his wife keeps hi●   

8  
Non omnibus dormit.  
SAy that Carina keeps a vitling house,  
I hope 'tis for no vulgar men of mean resort,  
That basely will a cast of Cannes carouse,  
Or at some game at Cards but idly sport:  
'tis known her weekly risings and downefalling  
Equals her state with some of higher callings.   

9  
Multum principia suaden●  
WHen Kate with Country Clients courted is,  
She seems more coy than any new beginner,  
●iuing, as if she knew not how to kiss,  
ever saw the man that yet could win her:  
But all to draw the Gulls more eager on,  
●hat shares her gains with Tinkers being are gone.   

10  
Mag●is non est mo●andum.  
E● how Silenus walks accomplished,  
With due performance of his father's Page,  
●kes back of purpose to be honoured,  
● on each sleight occasion 'gins to rage,  
●ou villain, Dog, where hath your stay been such?  
Quoth he, the Broker would not lend so much.   

11  
Fingit Adultera castam.  
NIsa, who from her window glanced her eyes,  
Saw Mopsus come as fast as foot could troth:  
For joy whereof, upon her bed she lies,  
As who should think she slept and saw him not.  
'Twas very strange, unless she meant herein,  
Her eyes should not be open to her sin.   

12  
Filius terrae.  
LVcas that hath been long concealed of late,  
Upon the penance of some purchased blame,  
lives now at Court in most heroic state,  
(But you must note 'tis by another name:)  
Call him not Lucas now, lest you disclose him,  
Nor ask whose son he is, for than you pose hi●   

13  
Turpe est cum foenore lucrum.  
Anus hath lived this last vacation,  
Upon his wives bare charge without all reason,  
●o since she knew at first her occupation,  
●e saw worse take in a Lenton season.  
A man would think thou shouldst her more beshrew,  
That did so many burdens undergo.   

14  
Criminibus celare studet sua crimina Maechus.  
WHen Cacus was accufed of a Rape,  
For stealing secretly to his maid's bed,  
hardly could the doom of law escape,  
● he not thus the matter coloured:  
That took his oath (nor did he swear amiss)  
He went not into her bed, (for 'twas his.)   

15  
Non videmus manticae quod in tergo est.  
NAso could wish the people would forbear,  
To scandalise his more than honest N●n:  
Who for this twelve month will expressly swear  
He hath not found her false with any man:  
If otherwise she do, he knows not what,  
Why should poor Nafo be so pointed at?   

16  
Luditur ●rte.  
Mark but the semblance of Fucatas face,  
How to the life her picture doth excel,  
For lovely feature, sweet and comely grace,  
(Surely the Painter hath done wondrous well:)  
But here's the doubt (both faces made by art)  
Which you would choose to be the better part.   

17  
Sp●liatis arma supersunt.  
GRand Captain Quid, of coin is quite bereft,  
Whose Page was wont his purse & coin to carry,  
●ow neither Page, Purse, Coin, nor aught is left,  
●ue what he's forced to pawn at th' ordinary.  
● Thus squint-eyed Fortune partial in her gifts,  
● Puts men of note oft-times to needy shifts.   

18  
Duo i●nguntur in v●u●.  
WHy was young Lancel●t, Lynsey-wolsey named,  
Whose Ancestors were of one Lineage framed?  
●t that 'twas known Wa●ling and fridaystreet,  
one conjunction coplative did meet.   

19  
Anguis in he●ba.  
HIlus hath hid himself this year and more,  
Not in respect of fear to show his face,  
But for he rashly in his humour swore,  
The Sessions-house should no more sift his case:  
But if you'll needs the reason understand,  
He hath been burned already in the hand.   

20  
Labour impr●bus omnia vincit.  
CLogo will needs be knighted for his lands,  
Got by the labours of his father's hands,  
And hopes to prove a Gentleman of note,  
For he hath bought himself a painted coat.   

21  
Magni constabi● parva vo●upt●●,  
HAnd off sir Saucebox, she's no meat for groom●▪  
Or common wights of b●se borne parentage:  
as, your lean expense fits Alehouse rooms,  
●at with Maid-malkin holdeth equipage:  
Because sir Tristram late intrcated me,  
You therefore think to do as much as he.   

22  
Quantum mutatus ab illo.  
WOuld any deem M●●●sses now the man,  
That whilom was not worth a wooden can●  
doubtless the Dunce in some thing doth surpass,  
his red Nose is still the same it was.   

23  
Quifuit a●te Peses.  
THe case is altered with Mercutio,  
Since his preferment to that Noble man,  
What erst he hath been, boots not now to know,  
Those times are changed you see, what's then wasth  
I dare presume Mercutio doth forget,  
That ever he a Bill in Paul's did set.   

24  
Omnibus hoc vitium.  
PRu that had patience to have borne with any,  
And loved plain-dealing (witness all that kn●●  
Is now undone by bearing one too many,  
So that you see plain dealing overthrows her▪   

25  
V●rijs mutata figuris.  
Ettis' length hath left her old profession,  
●And closely coucheth in a Sempster's shop,  
●ich may the burden of her late transgression,  
●h less suspect support and underprop:  
To such as knows her not, she and her wares,  
For perfect pureness with th' Exchange compares▪   

26  
Plus quam prudentia nummus.  
'mongst our later knights, sir Thomas knew it,  
● By common practice more than cunning wooing,  
●t being rich enough he could not rue it,  
●icke should take him with his Doll a doing.   

27  
Hoc omnibus datur.  
CVt●bert our Cobbler can no more forbear,  
To take Tobacco, then to live unknown:  
He drinks all whiffs at least, and learns to swear  
By Heavens; his oaths and humours are his own:  
But adding hereunto a pot or more,  
He stands to nothing which he spoke before.   

28  
Premit altum cord.  
Wleanus guilty, doth himself persuade,  
Some of these Epigrams by him were made:  
But dares not tell you wherein for his life,  
Lest men should play on him, as on his wife.   

29  
Velle placere s●t est.  
Mistress Parnella holds it requisite  
To keep more maids at home then need requires  
well to please her husband's appetite,  
for abroad she like exchange desires:  
For thus they absent best content each other,  
That else should be but bawds to one another.   

30  
Pocule i●●●gnutur ●mici.  
A Health, saith Lucas, to his loves bright eye,  
Which not to pledge were much indignity:  
●u cannot do him greater curresie,  
●en to be drunk and damned for company.   

31  
Redit orbis in or●em.  
Young Codrus, Land lord to his father's rents,  
Which happy time (long looked for) did expire  
Addresseth him with those habiliments,  
As lest bescemes the son of such a Sire:  
And thus he gallants it some year and more,  
Until his Tenants thrust him out of door.   

32  
Oculus Adulter.  
OF all the pleasures that our London yields,  
calvus commends the walks about Moor- 〈◊〉  
There's many reasons that provokes him to it,  
He must be looking though he cannot do it,   

33  
Mutavit fortuna genus.  
RVfus was reckoned once a man of might,  
That would severely domineer and swagger,  
●ring the stoutest of the Guard in fight  
● single Rapier, or at Sword and Dagger:  
Who would not muse that such a great commander  
Should be translated to a lousy Pander?   

34  
Vi●escit vulnere Venus.  
● Vsan's well sped, and wears a velvet hood,  
As who shall know her breeding hath been good:  
〈◊〉 rcason she should rise once in her life,  
●●at fell so oft before she was a wife.   

37  
Voluptat is prae●ium dolour.  
WHat cause had Livia to leave the City,  
Where she so flourished until now of late?  
Oh, there's a fault escaped (the moor the pi●●  
Which the Churchwardens will not tolerate:  
And yet the year before they could dispense,  
Taking no knowledge of the like offence.   

38  
Et manibus p●dibusque levis.  
LAys of lighter metal is composed,  
Then hath her lightness till of late disclosed,  
For lighting where she light acceptance feels,  
Her fingers there prove lighter than her heels.   

39  
Faeminae ludsficantur viros.  
LVce had a secret longing to go see  
Her child at nurse, for that she dreamed 'twas sick;  
●nd would by no means pacified be,  
●ill she had seen her pretty little Dick:  
Full little knows her husband (silly groom)  
Who by this match ere midnight takes his room.   

40  
Fallentem fema ●efellet.  
●Riscus gave out he went to Pr●ster-Iohn,  
Presuming to have purchased three for one;  
●t that 'twas known, which did him sore beguile,  
●iscus had ta'en the dyct all the while.   

41  
Dominatus seruilis.  
Fallen fought Furio hath now met his match,  
And is severely sent unto the gail,  
For blurting at Master Constable and his watch:  
Who bids away with him, admits no bail:  
As who shall know he's now the King's peace-make  
Although the last year was but Kennell-raker.   

42  
Par pari.  
BAl●us (too blame) runs in his Laundress score▪  
And will not pay her scarcely once a year,  
But then his shame is twice so much the more,  
For she hath paid him truly to a hair.   

43  
Sic vos non vobis ●ellera fer●is ones.  
Herded you in what surpassing rich array,  
Young Roger ruffled on S. George's day?  
'Twas pity more than spite it should be known,  
That none of all those garments were his own,  
So that in stead of what report did scatter,  
He simply was nonsuited on the matter.   

44  
Praestat videri que esse.  
CLitus with Clients is well customed,  
That hath the Laws but little studied,  
〈◊〉 matter Clitus so they bring their ●ees▪  
●ow ill the case and thy advise agrees.   

45—  
ortus nouu● urbe Bri●tannus.  
WHo braves it now as doth young Histrio▪  
Walking in Paul's like to some Potentate,  
Richly replenished from the top to●'h toe;  
As if he were derived from high estate:  
Alas, there's not a man but may descry,  
His begging trade, and bastard faculty.   

46  
Iweni, quid curua senectus?  
SIlla hath got a wife that's wondrous old,  
But 't is well known he wooed her for her gold:  
I hope her maids are young, and serve for hire,  
And that's as much as Silla doth desire.   

47  
Castus erat vul●●, etc.  
KNow you not Criticus our City's Mule,  
That haunts the harbours of iniquity?  
●er like a Beadle of disordered rule,  
dasheth at lust, to cloak his villainy:  
Cruicke, 't is not your looks (I dare assure you)  
Can fear the surgeon that of late did cure you▪   

48  
Plus Maechus omnis amat,  
●Eace, weep no more (sweet S●) and all is well,  
say I had found thee false, thinks thou I'll tell?  
●o by this iron and steel, which plainly shows it,  
〈◊〉 honest Wit all is no Gull that knows it.   

49  
Fugit huc i●risque pe●itu●.  
TObi● hath every term great suits in hand,  
But sits at home like lohn indifferent;  
His wife hath law enough to understand,  
What by joint-tenant and In-●●●le is meant,  
Have not our Clerks with fees been fain to woe her  
And for bare knowledge put their cases to her?   

50  
Omnes querunt sua.  
THis observation seems (quoth F●sco) strange,  
Why merchants walk in pauls, & knights th'exchange  
Belike the one seeks those their debts should pay,  
While● th' other goes to crave a longer day.   

51  
Quicquid oritur inoritur.  
ZOnus our neighbour, and his spouse are parted,  
True demonstration of her whorish hate,  
〈◊〉 could she not have been so stonyhearted,  
●o leave her husband for a straggling mate:  
But then the statute (Zonus) sets thee free,  
Thou didst not banish her, she fled from thee.   

52  
Qnàm partus ventrem sequitur.  
RAlph hath an office in reversion bought,  
But rues the time that yet no wi● hath wrought▪  
●ntent thee (Ralph) for wealth to let it pass,  
●ou art no worse fool than thy father was.   

53  
Non omnibus dormit.  
WHat reason is it Omphida should yield  
To any man that's but a stranger to her?  
Thinks he at first assault to win the field?  
Tut let him do his worst, that worst can do her:  
Had there but colour been for such intent,  
She might allow your weakest argument,   

54  
Mors ut vita ita.  
LEno lies sick, and to the Doctor sends,  
Who bids him look for what he least intends  
And being oft to make his will requested.  
Away (saith Leno) I will die detested.   

55  
Tunc tua res agitur, etc.  
A jealous Merchant that a Sailor met,  
Asked him the reason why he meant to marry,  
Knowing what ill their absence might beget,  
That still at sea constrained are to tarry?  
Sir (quoth the Sailor) think you that so strange?  
'tis done the time whiles you but walk th'exchange.   

56  
Ingeniosa Venus.  
Foed●s hath got his neighbour's wife with child,  
And yet hath not her husband's bed defiled,  
For why the plot within moorfield's was wrought,  
From whence a place was for that purpose sought.   

57  
Sine crimine nemo.  
GVido hath goodly lodgings, which he lets  
To Knights and Ladies, of the better sort,  
Nor careth he how little gains he gets,  
So they be honest, and of good report:  
But maugre all the means that may be tried,  
Guido's brave house will still be baudifide.   

58  
Nec vultus indicat virum.  
DIcke in a raging deep discourtesy,  
Called an Attorney mere necessity.  
The more knave he, admit he had no law,  
Must he be flouted at by every daw?   

59  
jugum suave patientia.  
Minos' a man of much impatience,  
Proves himself Cuckold in his own defence;  
●nd further doubts of greater danger fearing,  
●tends to prosecute the good abearing:  
His reason is, because he would seem loath  
To be cornuted, and bombasted both.   

60  
Sat saltem sic habeatur.  
RAlph says, this rabblement of new made Knights.  
Makes Coaches dear, & Chandler's sell their lights,  
●t scarce a Servingman the more is fed,  
〈◊〉 Foote-boyes only bring their Sirs to bed.   

61  
Dant otia ludum.  
YOung Master Newcome, late of th'Ins of Court,  
Hath newly laid aside his Littleton,  
And for his pleasure deigns no other sport,  
Then these unsavoured rhymes to seize upon:  
Which having read, he comments on the weather,  
How jump his law and learning met together.   

62  
Citò parata Venus.  
LEt Mistress Su be stirring near so soon,  
She'll not be ready until afternoon,  
Nor scarcely then: for why this summer season,  
The least Thing makes her sweat beyond all reason.   

63  
Quem suspicaveris, ipse.  
●Vco is fled, more for his credit sake,  
Then to be burdened with so base a deed:  
●ould he (think you) such trifles undertake,  
●auing that kindred, and so little need?  
Damned might he be that ever meant to do it,  
Had not his whore, or something urged him to it.   

64  
Mala crescunt deteriora.  
SOto is lately gone to Sturbridge fair,  
Whose little take makes him half despair:  
●were good some friend of his would tell the mome,  
●is wife hath had take too much at home.   

65  
Non caret effectu quod voluêre duo.  
COnstant Renaldo, who can but commend thee,  
That still one Mistress in reversion servest?  
She could do little, if not least befriend thee,  
With gleaning licence for so long a harvest:  
Gleaning said I? nay more, to mow her Corn,  
And catch the Hare whiles others blow the Horn   

66  
Enecat amplexu nimio, sic Simia foetum.  
CAll Danus knave, he straightway draws his swor●  
And makes you prove as much, or eat your wor●  
But if you call him honest Rogue▪ or jew,  
He hugs you then, for giving him his dew.   

67  
Si nihil attuleris, ibis, etc.  
PLanus, an honest Swain, but monylesse,  
Besought a Lawyer to be good unto him,  
Who either (gratis) must his cause redress,  
Or promise what he never meant to do him,  
Being asked why he careless lingered it,  
Made this reply: Ex ni●ilo nihil fit.   

68  
Semel & semper.  
CElso but newly wedded, doth repent,  
And means to be divorced incontinent:  
●ut, hang it (Celso) since 'tis done and passed,  
As good prove Cuckold at the first, as last.   

69  
Form●sa facies.  
FIne Mistress Foetida perfumes herself,  
With sweetest odours that she can devise,  
Which she prefers before all worldly pelf,  
That nought availeth when her beauty dies:  
But this despair is very death in thinking,  
That one so fair should have a breath so st●●king.   

70  
Sapiat qui vendit oportet.  
●Anus doth jesting use Equivocation▪  
Which he alludes as doubtful words of Art,  
To hide the colour of his occupation,  
But to the Devil he bears an honest heart.   

71  
Consilium post factum.  
Ask not Vincentio now when things are past,  
Why he so often sported with his Punk,  
〈◊〉 wherefore so much hath been spent in waist;  
● As good you told a tale to one that's drunk:)  
Let it suffice, he hath consumed it all,  
And as you see, walks like the prodigal.   

72  
Ne suitor ultra crepidam.  
PHilippus flouteth at these ragged rhymes,  
That much distasting, tax not these his times:  
●ndeed I judge him much more better seen,  
●n other trades that he hath trained been.   

73  
Mole ruit sua.  
QVesto that acquaint and brisk Italian,  
When first his trade for Merchandise began,  
Would so much undertake more than his own,  
(I think of purpose to be overthrown)  
For when 'twas thought his fullness did abound,  
Even than he broke for seventy thousand pound.   

74  
Parturiunt montes murem.  
DEgo will draw, and stoutly stand unto it,  
Upon the utmost of his words bravado,  
But being urged on equal terms to do it,  
He basely pockets up the bastinado.   

75  
Degeneres animos timor arguit.  
MOnsieur Montanus is no little man,  
Of unapproved valour to his foe,  
Persuade, or woo him with what words you can,  
he'll be revenged, all the world shall know:  
But when he found one with his wife in bed,  
For fear of knocks he durst not show his head.   

76  
Vilescit dives avarus.  
RVfus is wondrous rich, but what of that?  
He lives obscurely, like a water-Rat,  
●nd his apparel, which he seldom buys,  
●re such as Hounds-ditch, and Long-lane supplies.   

77  
Mal● parta, male paeriunt.  
OLd Collins son is newly come to age,  
And may dispend five hundred marks a year  
But wanteth wit to hold his heritage,  
Which hath been evermore his uncles fear:  
Because his father got it by extortion,  
And therefore ill to be a Woodcocks portion.   

78  
Habet & musca splenem.  
MOpsus maintains that bankruptship less mou●●  
Than such a slave as for his wives sake loves 〈◊〉  
Yet well the Witall woteth though it grieve him,  
His tongue might starve except her Tail relieve 〈◊〉   

79  
Olim haec meminisse dolebit.  
GRuntus lies groaning of a grievous gout,  
And would give thousands to be sound cured,  
But all the cunning that his coin finds out,  
Cannot expel those pains so long endured:  
Oh Grunto, thou hast lived so vnrepenting,  
As scarce two hells sufficeth thy tormenting.   

80  
Matrimonio Patrimonium.  
MVsco, that always kept with policy,  
What he had scraped● since his infancy,  
Scarce one year wedded (for he needs would marry)  
Hath taken Ludgate for his sanctuary.   

81  
Duplex Iniquitas.  
NOw yea and nay, quoth Mistress Temperance,  
You are to blame to be so vainly given:  
Cannot your eyes upon a woman glance  
But they must covet? sooth you should be shriven:  
Fie, that you'll swear so rashly by your troth,  
Truly I would not do't but for your oath.   

82  
Non omnia possumus omnes.  
WHo says Al●ides hath no wit, they lie,  
His place and office proves the contrary,  
Though 'twas not meant he should more understand  
Then might concern him to subscribe his hand.   

83  
Sumus omnes deteriores.  
Cornutus' boasteth of the debts he owes,  
As who should think his credit then was such:  
●ut all his substance valued now, God knows,  
●mounts not to the twentieth part so much:  
'tis to be thought, because his wife grows old,  
And hath less doing now a thousand fold.   

84  
Cani facile inveniendum Baculum.  
MAdam Ventoza can no longer frolic,  
She is so troubled with a sore winde-cholicke,  
●hich to the standers by may less appear,  
●ause her fyesting-Cur is still so near.   

85  
Aliud simulat, aliud agit.  
YOung Mistress joice her husband doth solicits  
To hire a Garden-house near to the fields,  
Which with her Gossips she might weekly visit,  
For something must she have that comfort yield  
Pray God this Bower of private recreation,  
Prove not a place of common occupation.   

86  
Quae placuit Domino nupta est ancilla sodali.  
MAdam Rugosa knows not where to find  
One Chambermaid of ten to please her 〈◊〉  
But yet my Lord so likes their comely car'age,  
As he preferre● them to his men in mar'age.   

87  
Crede quod habes & habes.  
LOrellos wife is lately brought to bed,  
As luck would have it, of a goodly boy,  
The hopeful issue of her maidenhead,  
And only jewel of the father's joy:  
Then who would doubt the time, or once but note it,  
When it's as like him, as himself had got it.   

88  
Mendici mendaces.  
Ponderous spends the day by telling news,  
Of such his travels as will make you muse:  
Nay sir, believe it, he'll discourse at large,  
How should he else be fed at others charge?   

89  
Aeger, cui chara libertas.  
BRisco that gallant youngster keeps his bed,  
As feigning to be sick, but wot you why?  
Not of an ague▪ not an aching head,  
No burning fever, nor French malady:  
Tush, none of these can half so much molest 〈◊〉  
As yonder flatcap fool that would arrest him.   

90  
Qui modò rusticus, olim.  
PO-lo pecks up a pretty proling trade,  
That hath him prouder than his master made  
But yet when all is done, the world mistakes him,  
For 'tis not's money, but the Tailor makes him.   

91  
Ab Equis ad Asinos.  
Brutus' that brave and complete Cavalier,  
(Who but of late in fleetstreet flourished,  
〈◊〉 thought no pleasure or expense too dear)  
〈◊〉 now how soon the case is altered:  
As that constrained to forsake the street,  
He hath beta'en himself unto the Fleet.   

92  
Furor armae minis●rat.  
●Agus hath studied long to break a jest,  
Upon these rhymes he doth so much detest:  
〈◊〉 can you blame him? well he may be chiding,  
〈◊〉 hath so often spurgaled been with riding.   

93  
Dubitat mens conscia cornu.  
LEt jealous Ralph but read of Capricorn,  
Or simply of the sign that's in the Ram,  
He strait way thinks you tax him with the horn,  
And thereon have composed some Epigram:  
If Ralph on every rhyme the worst will construe  
It must conclude, in time he'll prove a monster.   

94  
Volucrem sie decipit a●ceps.  
Hydrus the Horse courser (that cunning mate)  
Doth with the buyers thus equivocate,  
Claps on his hand, and prays he may not thrive.  
If that his Gelding be not under five ☞   

95  
Quod mora tardat, abest.  
●Vscus hath long since learned his Accidence,  
And now turned Sexton (Clerk I mean at least)  
●ight yet for age more further far commence,  
〈◊〉 lost his time wherein he was a Beast.  
●or why his father kept him still a Calf,  
And would not wean him at twelve years and half.   

96  
Perdat qui caveat Emptor.  
NOr less meant Promus when that vow he made,  
Then to give o'er his cozening Tapsters trade,  
●ho (checked for short and frothy measure) swore,  
〈◊〉 never would from thence forth fill pot more.   

97  
Humilis iam surgit in altum.  
THe world is well amended with sir Hugh,  
Since from the time he was a shepherds swain,  
And little dreamt then (I may tell you)  
He should have been one of the knightly train,  
But (for his substance answers not his will)  
As good have dreamed, or been a Shepherd still   

98  
Post dulcia finis amarus.  
WHat grief it was Grace had no better fortune,  
But that Bridewell must her disgrace importune  
And which is worse, if worse it might perplex her,  
The Beadle comes behind her back to vex her?   

99  
Frustra sapit qui fi●i non sapit.  
●Anthus, that wise and cunning Sophister,  
Lies now in Limbo for a small offence,  
●ho when he came before the Officer,  
〈◊〉 not one word of wit to free him thence,  
Why thus it fares, when he should best dispute,  
The Devil, or some ill Planet strikes him mute.   

100  
Vsus promptos f●ci●,  
●His makes Menalcas muse above the rest,  
To see how acquaint my Lady is addressed,  
〈◊〉 from the girdle upwards would he swear,  
〈◊〉 doth the shape of very man appear.   

101  
Humilis prostrata quadrante.  
FIne Mistress D●lia defies the man,  
That proffers less to her then golden fees,  
What think you her some common Courtesan,  
That will her credit with each Lobcock lose?  
In faith sir no, but ere you shall go hence,  
She will for once accept of eighteen pence.   

102  
Qu●m bene ●otus amor.  
SHould Spruso leave the wearing of his muff,  
His golden nightcap, and his double ruff:  
He would be still the same he was before,  
For half the Parish knows he loves a ()   

103  
O infoelices quos fata seq●untur iniqua.  
Pontus' is posting hitherwards a pace,  
To dine with divers that in Fleetstreet meets him,  
But see the luckless chance of such a case,  
As soon as he alights, the Sergeant greets him:  
So that the burden he should have defrayed,  
Is wholly now upon mine Hostess laid.   

104  
Cucullus non facit Monachum.  
Siluanus' is become so pure and holy,  
As he accounts all mirth but idle folly:  
Ask him wherefore, he gives you ghostly reason,  
But then his whore comes never out of season.   

105  
Cres●it amor pretio.  
HOw like you Dorcas in her deepest Ruff,  
Seems she not now as proper as the best?  
●ou think you may command her, marry muff?  
●he scorns the motion, fough, that were a jest:  
Because she sold her wares so cheap of late,  
You think they should be still the self-same rate.   

106  
Senibus voluisse satis.  
●ESop must yield when Rodop will ride,  
And take no knowledge where, or who's her guide  
●et could the wizard wish her more in sight,  
●●nce she at Braynford lodged this other night.   

107  
Nocte latent mendae.  
WHat meaneth Rosamond to walk so late,  
When no man can discern her face or feature▪  
(But by her habit may prejudicate,  
She is some fair, or rather famous creature:)  
Oh good Sir understand, 'tis in the dark  
When many a good man mistakes the mark.   

108  
Natura paucis contenta.  
MEcus is now become a frugal Sire,  
That spends no more than nature doth require;  
And yet his wife will prove a traveler.  
Although but once a year he lay with her.   

109  
Fortuna multis nimium dedit.  
NOw fie upon thee Coward Nemius,  
That oft hast pulled thy Lady's slippers on,  
Yet still were't bashful, not so venturous,  
As once so much her leg to look upon:  
Were I thy father, and thou heir to me,  
I would for certain disinherit thee.   

110  
Hic laqueos tendit, qui laqueo moritur.  
WHo ever held Mendoza half so wise,  
To have attempted such an enterprise,  
As had not Tyburn soon prevented it,  
Mendoza would have learned but too much wit.   

111  
Sic transit gloria mundi.  
I Pray sir, did you note on Sunday last,  
How richly Rubin was appareled?  
Well may he be compared to a blast,  
Or unto one that's metamorphosed:  
For one next morning, ere the day did dawn,  
All that he wore, and more, was laid to pawn.   

112  
Post ga●dia luctus.  
A Ye me (quoth Amy) who would ere have though  
So great a mischief should arise of nought?  
Which, had she known, ere she began to swell,  
Each yard of pleasure should have proved an ell.   

113  
Noctes aique dies patet atri lanua Ditis.  
The times are waxen dead with Dalila,  
Who since the Term hath felt but little sturri●  
Then was she sought to more than Helena,  
When Gallants galloped with their Coaches hurrying:  
But now she speaks with all that please to call,  
Lo, thus her trade doth termly rise and fall.   

114  
Linguam vis nulla domabit.  
MVns skill in horses doth so much excel,  
As no man living breaks them half so well:  
And yet one Filly quite comptroles his art,  
He never backs her but she breaks his heart.   

115  
Fronti nulla fides.  
GAllus that greatest Roost cock in the rout,  
Swells now as big as Bacchus did with wine,  
●ike to a Hulk, bearing himself about,  
●nd bristling as a Boar or Porpentine:  
'tis not his locks that makes him look so 〈◊〉,  
For all men knows he wears a Periwig.   

116  
Roganti dabitur.  
●Arcus stood musing, maugre all his might,  
Where he should go to lodge this other night,  
●till the Beadle unawares came on him.  
●●d volens nolens thrust a bed upon him.   

117  
Dat census Honours  
'tis plainly known that our young knight, sir Ad●●  
Had his beginning from an ancient name,  
And (though not rich) may make his wife a Madam,  
That brings her dowry to maintain the same:  
Say, that the Herald cannot blaze him forth,  
Must Knightship therefore be of no more worth▪   

118  
Tremuit sub pondere Cymba.  
HAd not Formosa very foul ill luck,  
Who●e stooping simply but a rose to pluck,  
Made to the hearers that so loudly known,  
Which never yet before report had blown?   

119  
Negat o●cula gratè r●ga●a.  
●Riscilla proves most dainty o● a kiss,  
When of a stranger she entreated is,  
●ord, how she simpering fits, and minceth it!  
〈◊〉 very deed sir, she'll not eat a bit:  
What, would you have her by and by suspected,  
That for a Whore hath been so long detected?   

120  
Coitum, non oscula la●da●.  
WHen Kester courted Kate but for a kiss,  
She coily told him, that he aimed amiss:  
●ou mayst believe her (K●ster) what she said,  
〈◊〉 half the parish knows she is no maid.   

121  
Calum non animum mutat,  
NAy fie, how strange you make it Mistress jane,  
That will not know your quondam tried friends,  
Remember since you lodged in Cart-her-lane:  
Shall former kindness merit no amends?  
I say no more, well you may change your name,  
But once a Whore, you should be still the same.   

122  
Purtus ventrem sequitur.  
MAud being moved at fourteen years to ma●  
Said (were she tall enough) she would not car●●  
'Twere good her sister but so wise had been,  
That had a Bastard ●re she was fifteen.   

123  
Di●es quis stultus habetur?  
'tIs true that Simon (simple though you think him)  
Knows how to execute his father's trade,  
●hich (no dispraise) may with that substance link him  
●s quickly shall amend what nature made.  
Do not your most fools thrive exceeding well,  
That have but wit enough to buy and sell?   

124  
Hoc aliquid nihil.  
GVido hath gotten very goodly suits,  
That of his labours are the only fruits,  
●eane no other suits then those he wears,  
●hich how to compass, is that Guido fears.   

125  
Qui deierat peierat.  
DAcus hath damned himself on due regard  
From Taverns, Plays, Tobacco, and from Win●  
Swearing he'll live like john of Paules-Church-yard,  
At least will often with Duke Humphrey dine:  
'Twere well done (Dacus) hadst thou power to do 〈◊〉  
But Dice and Drabs (I fear) will hold thee to it.   

126  
Impar aetas, impair sque mores.  
IT could not be (me thinks) imagined,  
That julia could have lost her maidenhead  
Being so young, but that herself first told it,  
To whom, and where she this vacation sold it.   

127  
Soluat Ecclesia.  
WHen Rose had reckoned her full time at large,  
She then bethinketh whom to nominate  
●hat might partake with her ensuing charge,  
●t length, with wisdom more considerate,  
She guesseth none 'mongst all the rest to fit,  
As is the parish Priest to father it.   

128  
Indomitae tandem veniunt ad aratra i●●encae.  
●Esbia the fair, that would be wooed of none,  
Hath since been won by many more than one:  
●●d like a flower, whose colour soon doth fade,  
●th often riding, proves a hackney jade.   

129  
Casta est quam, Nemo roga●it▪  
WHo bruits it Mistress Parnell is no maid,  
And will not answer such discourtesy?  
She scorns the very worst that can be said,  
And stands so much on her virginity:  
As flatly to their teeth she doth retort it,  
Presuming none so vile that will report it.   

130  
Aurum volat ocius Euro.  
MOnsieur Fleming fraught with Angel's store,  
Would see fair London, never seen before:  
Where lodging with his Mistress but one night,  
Had (ere he parted) put them all to flight.   

131  
Musae spernuntur egenae▪  
FA●nus for feats of Fencing bears the Bell,  
For skill in music on each Instrument,  
For dancing, carving, and discoursing well,  
With other sundry gifts more excellent:  
But striving still to make his credit stronger,  
The Tailor will not trust him any longer.   

1ST  
Non patitur res seria iocum.  
Tyb took an oath, that Tomesin was no maid,  
Who angry, bad, bear record what she said:  
As good have published it with Trumpet blown,  
As call for witness in a case so known.   

133  
Frustra timet, qui sperat nihil.  
Tush, hang it, have at all (says Curio)  
Comes not duze ace as soon as six and three?  
Who would not rather half his Lands forego,  
Then be outdared by such a one as he?  
Damn him, he'll ventured all upon a cast:  
Wert not as good turn Rogue at first as last?   

134  
Sic ne perdid●rit non cessat perdere lusor.  
Ask Ficus how his luck at dicing goes,  
Like to the tide (says he) it ebbs and flows:  
Then I suppose his chance cannot be good,  
For all men know, 'tis longer ebb than flood.   

135  
Sapiat qui dives, oportet.  
'tIs known how well I live, says Romeo,  
And whom I list, I'll love, or will despise:  
●●deed it's reason good it should be so:  
●or they that wealthy are must needs be wise:  
But this were ill, if so it come to pass,  
That for your wealth you must be begged an ass.   

136  
Similis doctrina libello.  
Craesus' of all things loveth not to buy  
So many Books of such diversity:  
●our Almanac (says he) yields all the sense,  
●f times best profit, and experience.   

137  
Nilgratum ratione carens.  
PAulus a Pamphlet doth in prose present,  
Unto his Lord (the fruits of idle time)  
Who far more careless than therewith content,  
Wished it were converted into rhyme:  
Which done, and brought him at another season,  
Said, now'tis rhyme, before nor rhyme nor reason.   

138  
Ingenio pollet cui vim natura negavit.  
IF Nanus had but common gifts of nature,  
And no arts cunning to his cubit-stature;  
He never could with Ladies come so near,  
Nor get his victuals gratis all the year.   

139  
Turba gravi paci Meritrix.  
Enkin is wondrous jealous of his wife,  
And urgeth terms of shrewd suspicion,  
●●t knows not him the causer of his strife,  
●●t will he yield to no condition:  
For now you offer jenkin more disgrace,  
Then if you horn him to his very face,   

140  
Quid queat esse diu.  
signor Fantasmus never such pleasure found  
In any sport, as in a deep mouthed hound:  
●●all was that pleasure, when upon one day,  
〈◊〉 lost his hair, and hunted all away.   

141  
Non Hospes ab Hospite tutus.  
Lieutenant Lentulus lives discontent,  
And much repineth at the want of wars,  
For when his credit, coin, and all is spent,  
What should he do but idly curse the stars?  
Content thee Lentulus with thine estate,  
That wert not idle when thou stolest the plate.   

142  
I am sumus ergo pares.  
DAmon his Dick had not this three years seen,  
But rather thinks he hath concealed been:  
Was it not strange that they so jump should meet,  
Both at a Bawdy house in Turnbull street?   

143  
Turpe senilis amor.  
OLd doting Claudus doth in haste desire,  
With beauteous young Penelope to wed,  
●hose frozen appetite is set on fire,  
●ntill the match be thoroughly finished:  
Indeed as good dispatch as make delay,  
That must be horned on his wedding day.   

144  
Incidit in Syllam cupiens vitare Charibdim.  
●Arcellus museth how to spend that day,  
Wherein it likes him not to see a play;  
●t then he falls in some worse place (I doubt)  
〈◊〉 stays so long till he be fired out.   

146  
Laesus amor in Furor.  
WHere hath sir john so long been resident?  
Leaving his pensive Lady all amort,  
Who well may say (woe worth the time misspent)  
For grief whereof she hath no list to sport:  
But leave her not again in such a plight,  
Lest (out of mind) she prove more out of sight▪   

147  
Nocet empta dolore voluptas.  
SIsly and Kate are gone to frolic it,  
Late in the evening with their Tom and Kit:  
What luck had they to buy their sport so dear,  
That in the morning must have whipping cheer?   

147  
Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes.  
Herded you not yet of Captain Ferdinand?  
That was so wont to swagger and carouse:  
He lodgeth now no longer in the Strand,  
But is removed thence to such a house,  
Where all his best acquaintance that he knows,  
Will not redeem th'one half of what he owes.   

148  
Quid non speramus amantes?  
●Lerce was espoused ere he went a wooing,  
What should such Dunces be so long a doing?  
●is wife (the wiser) thought to save that pain,  
〈◊〉 getting her a cloak fit for the rain.   

149  
Ingenium natura dedit, queis non dedit  
NAy, see if Stark as yet can cease to flout,  
How should he choose? his mere conceits are suc●  
'tis good sir: I'll not say you are a lout,  
Yet may a man presume to think as much,  
I fear, when we have both done all we can,  
The best will scarce prove good Grammarian.   

150  
Lateat benèqui malè vixit.  
FRancisco flies, not daring once come near,  
●ut makes th'infection to be most his fear:  
W●en those his Creditors that least believes him.  
Knows 'tis his debt more th● the devil that drives h●   

151  
Patria est ubicunque.  
Brave minded Medon can no more endure  
To live in England, then to brook the lie,  
Tut, your temptations cannot him allure,  
He scorns them as an idle mockery:  
Urge him no more, I tell you 'twill but grieve him,  
For here his means no longer may relieve him.   

152  
Ignoti nulla Cupido.  
CAstus of all sins makes most conscience,  
That men should with their chastities dispense;  
She that weds him, must have his maiden head,  
At least may chance to bring a fool to bed.   

153  
Hoc tibi sort datum.  
NAy (good sir) give us leave at least to know you,  
Was not your father once a man of trade?  
You now are rich, I know who may besthrow you,  
That for your sake were younger brothers made:  
(Hark in your ear) 'tis not the wealth you have  
Can shield you from the scandal of a—   

154  
Nec castè, nec cautè.  
MOunsiur Du pry hath promised to take heed,  
That in the dark he do no damned deed:  
Fie Monsieur, fie, a man of your fair means,  
And found a bed with filthy Oyster queans?   

155  
Alea nil moderabile suadet.  
WHen Milo means to spare, then spends he most  
Let him but come where sport and gaming is  
His humour cannot hold till all be lost,  
And never thinketh he hath done amiss;  
For thus resolved, Milo cares not whether,  
He pay th' one half, or lie for altogether.   

156  
Sero sapiunt Phryges'.  
FEstus, that feasted long on delicates,  
Now such unpleasing foolish diet hates;  
Is it not reason he should spare at last,  
That hath consumed more than all in waist.   

157  
Sine fuco pulchra venustas.  
Mistress Morinda is more coy than wise,  
But fair she is and that most richly fair,  
Her husband bears it out, (let that suffice)  
And all defects is able to repair;  
But yet I wonder they should so excel,  
That have been ●ankerupts, all the world can tell.   

158  
Mortali● cunctacaduca.  
STella the star, that whilom shined so bright,  
●s now eclipsed, and hath lost her light;  
〈◊〉 pity (Stella) that thy stars were such,  
Better for thee they had not shined so much.   

159  
Pestis, cum finis amarus.  
Fie, would you offer Winefrid that wrong,  
To set abroach her Virgin chastity?  
Well wotteth she, you cannot love her long,  
And which is worse, the world may it espy:  
Which is the thing that makes her look into it,  
Or else you know how easy 'twere to do it.   

160  
Similes labris lactucae.  
DIck swash (or swaggering Dick) through Fleetstreet reels,  
With Sister and Beatrice waiting at his heels;  
●o one that would have ●ane the wall, he swore,  
●ounds, dost not see my Punk and Paramour?   

16● Nec te quaesiveris extra.  
SIr, can you tell where young Ponderous lives,  
That was surnamed here the prodigal:  
He that so much for his silk stockings gives,  
Till nought is left to buy him shoes withal?  
Oh blame him not, to make what show he can,  
How should he else be thought a Gentleman.   

162  
Qui quondam Li●a, Lanista.  
'tIs said that Whittington was raised of nought,  
And by a Cat, hath divers wonders wrought;  
But Fortune (not his Cat) makes it appear:  
He may dispend a thousand marks a year.   

163  
Auro cedit honos.  
BL●do hath lost his Bess he knows not where,  
And frantic seeks her all the streets throughout,  
Take courage (Bindo) and be of good cheer,  
To morrow thou shalt find her, there's no doubt▪  
To morrow came: deserved she to be shent,  
That brought him home enough to pay his rent?   

164  
Sors universa r●tat.  
Same swore an oath that those late Lotteries,  
Were mere deceits, and idle mockeries,  
For of a hundred, if he two did pluck,  
The standers by would say, 'twas Cuckold's luck.   

165  
Omnia vincit amor.  
HOw comes it Malcus lives unmarried,  
That whilom was a suitor to so many,  
Doubtless his love hath still miscarried,  
And he misled, was never loved of any.  
So that I fear, the grief of what is past,  
Will cause the coxcomb hang himself at last.   

166  
Pravis communia prava.  
Ask Minos why he marries not, he'll ' say,  
He loveth not, to live at rack and manger,  
Whiles he may take a snatch and so away,  
In common corners, like a common ranger.   

167  
Hic laque●s rendit, qui laqueo leditur.  
I●us, that like to Aesop's Spaniel snatched,  
〈◊〉 The shadow, for the substance, in the water,  
thought his eggs chickens, being yet unhatched,  
●●d needs would thrive ere Lady-day the later:  
Sure thou wert blind, that couldst, or wouldst not see,  
To lay a trap for them that now catch thee.   

168  
Trahit sua quemque voluptas.  
WAt wills, you know how much he scorneth it,  
To be a pickpurse of another's wit:  
●●t in a pocket, please you understand,  
●e hath a reaching, deep, and diving hand.   

169  
Tempora mutantur, etc.  
I Cry you mercy sir, I knew you not,  
Thus Courtly Metamorphosed of late,  
Your Country kinsfolks have you quite forgot,  
You brave it out with that Majestic state,  
As but I now recall whose son you were,  
You might have passed for some Nobles heir.   

170  
Na●uram expellere durum.  
PArcus now sparing cost, swears he'll begin,  
To enter commons in some Chancery Inn,  
And will no longer once a day be fed,  
That still before went supperless to bed.   

171  
Nummos & Demona iungit.  
BAt bids you swell with envy till you burst,  
So he be rich, and may his Coffers fill,  
●ringing th' example of the Fox that's cursed,  
●nd threatening folks that have least power to kill,  
For why 'tis known his trade can never fall,  
That hath already got the Devil and all,   

172  
Vivit post funera virtus.  
SIlus hath sold his Crimson Satin suit,  
And needs will learn to play upon the Lute,  
●is well done (Silus) for such suits soon waste,  
●hereas thy skill on Lutes will ever last.   

173  
Grata superueniet quae non sperabitur hora.  
Persuade not Romulus to take a wife,  
That is to wedlock sworn an enemy,  
And ever vows to lead a single life,  
Which he accounts most honest purity:  
Besides a thousand reasons that constrains him,  
And more (but mum) 'tis known whose wife maintain hi●   

174  
Opinio prevalet veritati.  
I Asked Pontus. why he took such pains,  
To troth in Termtime for so little gains,  
His answer was, that such as stand on woo,  
Must, howsoever, seem to have some doings.   

175  
Moritur, cui fama perennis.  
AMongst our Poets Rauchus reckoned is,  
But less beholding to be so reputed,  
For honest truth itself known to be his,  
With feigned Poetry was never suited:  
Then must it certainly be said amiss,  
Amongst our Poets Rauchus reckoned is.   

176  
Canis ad Vomitum.  
MAt in the mood of his distemperature,  
Swears he must fight to keep his hands in ure,  
For being weary of his thieving trade,  
What should he do, if not approve his blade?   

177  
Sper●it gens rustica musas.  
WHat tell you me of Pontus' peasant groom,  
That Tearmely posteth upto purchase pelf  
Which he obscures within some desert room,  
And basely lives a slave unto himself?  
Spur him in any point, but in a lease,  
You'll sooner tyre the jade, then melt his grease.   

178  
Fluent periuria furtum.  
PIso hath stolen a silver Boule in jest,  
For which (suspected only, not confessed,)  
Rather then Piso will restore the Bowl,  
To quit the body he will cast the soul.   

179  
Timodos' fortunae repellit.  
WHen Miles the Servingman my Lady kissed,  
She knew him not, (though scarcely could resist  
So sweet a youth, and well appareled)  
Had not the Dunce himself discovered:  
For this (quoth he) my Master bade me say,—  
How's that (quoth she?) and frowning flings away:  
●ext to the heart, she took her mark amiss,  
And th●●●hee should a Seruing● creature kiss▪  
Why thus it is, when fools must make it known●,  
They come o● others business, not their own.   

180  
Venaeli veneri suspensa haedera.  
A Scoffing mate, that past along Cheapside,  
Incontinent a gallant Lass espied:  
Whose tempting breasts (as to the sale laid out)  
Incites this youngster thus to gin to flout.  
Lady▪ (quoth he) is this flesh to be sold?  
No Lord (quoth she) for silver nor for gold:  
But wherefore ask you? (and there made a stop)  
To buy (quoth he) if not, shut up your shop.   

181  
Nonnunquam iactat egenus.  
IAcke is a Gentleman, I must confess,  
For there's no woman's Tailor can be less.   

182  
Nemo omnibus horis sapit.  
NIsus that doth his nightcap so much use,  
Was nearly brought unto his winding sheet,  
Whose guilty conscience did him most accuse,  
That he was plagued for walking late the street;  
And well deserved, nor could he well do worse,  
Then deal with drabs, be drunk, and lose his purse   

183  
Pudor est suae d●mna refer.  
●Eter hath lost his purse, but will conceal it,  
Lest she that stole it, to his shame reveal it.   

184  
Prodit se lumine Luscus.  
LVscus that late lay with his mistress maid,  
And (fearing much to have the matter known)  
Went to his fellow, whom he friendly prayed  
To counsel him, as were the cause his own:  
He that (more cunning) knew what should be done,  
took this advantage for his better speed;  
To finish that which th' other had begun,  
But then alas, she proved with child indeed,  
And made the Woodcock (who did first bewray i●  
Stand to the reckoning, that could better pay it.   

185  
Quos ego? sed motos praest at, etc.  
FLaccus gives out (because the world shall know it)  
How bitter shortly he intends to write,  
Threatening therein to firk his fellow Poet,  
'Gainst whom he beareth such revenging spite:  
But soft (quoth Flaccus) should I say he's poor?  
Oh no: lest others talk as much of me.  
Or shall I tell him that he loves a whore?  
Tush, therein likewise we both jump agree.  
Faith, Flaccus doubtless will his spleen recall,  
I, I: As good be friends, nor write at all.   

186  
Quid non pecunia?  
SHall squint-eyed Mopsus, old Cincanters son,  
Be matched with Beauty for his little pelf?  
Much better were the Lobcock lost then won,  
Unless he knew how to behave himself.  
But this hath ever been the plague of it:  
That such are loved more for their wealth then wit.   

187  
Forma bonum fragile.  
MArce●la now grown old hath broke her Glass,  
Because it flatters not as't did: alas,  
Who would desire that any senseless stone,  
Should show good countenance, that receiveth none?   

188  
Sorte tua contentus.  
BArtus being bid to supper to a Lord,  
Was marshaled at the lower end of the board.  
Who vexed thereat, amongst his Comrag's doth fret,  
And swears, that he below the salt was set.  
But Bartus thouart a fool, to fret and swear,  
The salt stands on the board, wouldst thou sit there?   

189  
Malum est quod tegitur.  
BArtellus for a swelling in his groin,  
Hath cut his shoe, and of his toe doth whine,  
●ut what by that (Bartellus dost thou gain?)  
●he neighbours know too well where lies thy pain.   

190  
Vox impedit Esurienti.  
GLute at meals is never heard to talk:  
For which the more his chaps and chin doth walk●  
When every one that sits about the board,  
Makes sport to ask, what Gluto, near a word?  
He forced to answer, being very loath,  
Is almost choked▪ speaking and eating both.   

191  
Semper tibi pr●ximus esto.  
THe will that women have, doth show the want of wit we 〈◊〉  
For we fro women take our woe, by giving way to wom●●   

192  
Post dulcia finis amorous.  
Have you not heard of Monsieur Maximus,  
That lives by lending without interest?  
But then he tells you with proviso, thus,  
You must assure your lands for such request:  
Which done, be sure you never in peace shall rest  
But more perplexed, then with the devil possessed.   

●94  
He● domus antiqua, etc.  
Brutus' whose buildings cost a thousand pound,  
(Being newly framed, of late, even from the ground)  
Is fairer far than when his Father lived,  
Because it's richer and more rare contrived;  
Yet many times I hear the poor man weep,  
Saying, his father better house did keep:  
Which unto me a Paradox doth seem,  
That what is worse that men better deem.   

195  
Nil refert loqui, dum v●iliceat.  
AN English Lad long wood a Lass of Wales,  
And entertained her with pretty tales:  
Although she understood not how to try him,  
●et gave consent at last to under-lye him;  
●oth having dallied with full satiety,  
The wench to manifest the more sobriety)  
●old, in her language, she was fully p'ayd:  
●nd Degon, degon, once or twice she said,  
Degon in Welsh doth signify enus●,)  
●hich he mistaking, answered thus in snuff,  
Degon that will, (for I protest) so sore  
Have digged already, I can dig no more.   

196  
Lenones Leones.  
VRbanus that committed an offence,  
With a young country Lass, (poor silly fool)  
To salve his credit, soon conueys her hence,  
Unto a Garden-house, or Vaulting-schoole.  
Where (now unloden of that luckless ill)  
And all dispatched (save the household charge:)  
The good-man-Bawd, or Pander (which you will)  
Brings him no Ticket, but a Bill at large.  
Item for pipkins, pap, and other things,  
Amounting all to twenty marks, or more:  
And this aloud into his ears he rings,  
Pray sir (quoth he) for shame discharge your score.  
Vrbanus loath to be proclaimed a Gull,  
Was willing to compound in any wise:  
But yet not tendering his demand at full,  
Said, he had seen the Lions once or twice,  
The Lions (answers he) that may be true,  
But think you thence to merit any praise?  
Each Lobcooke may those lions daily view,  
Have you not seen the Dragons in your days?  
No (quoth Vrbanus) that I must confess,  
Then (said the Pander) you must pay no less.   

197  
Pud●re suo impudens.  
A Certain fellow of the purer sect,  
Who outwardly did holiness respect,  
Could not endure a Surplice in the Church;  
Yet was he lately found in such a lurch,  
That though he could not with a Surplice bear,  
Did in the Chancel yet a white sheet wear.   

198  
Non novit seipsum.  
COuld Titus deem the times he now bestows,  
To be the same he did prognosticate,  
●hat thus of late transformed himself not knows,  
He is become so great a Potentate,  
Who would have thought (his father but a Tanner)  
The son should brave it in that pompous manner.   

199  
Spernit gens rustica Musas.  
WHat tell you me of Porcus Pesant-Groome,  
That scrapeth up together so much thrift,  
Which he obscures within some desert room,  
And basely lives unknown by any shift.  
His looks are Characters of his descent,  
Sprung from the loins of some mechanic Sire,  
That never knew what civil usagement,  
But to be only rich doth still aspire:  
Spur him in any thing but in his trade,  
And you shall see how scone he'll prove a jade.   

200  
Ictus Piscator sapit.  
WHen Caecus had been wedded now three day  
And all his neighbours bad God give him io●  
This strange conclusion with his Wife assays,  
Why till her marriage day she proved so coy;  
(Quoth he) we man and wife in manner were,  
A month before: then could we have repent?  
Alas (quoth she) had I not cause to fear,  
How you might construe it, had I consented?  
Fore God (quoth he) 'twas well thou didst not yield  
For doubtless than my purpose was to leave thee.  
Oh Sir (quoth she) I once was so beguiled,  
And thought the next man should not so deceive me  
Now out alas (quoth he) thou breed'st my woe,  
Why man (quoth she) I speak but quid pro quo.   

201  
Detur quod meritum.  
A Courtier kind in speech, cursed in condition,  
Finding his faults could be no longer hidden,  
Came to his friend to clear his bad suspicion,  
(And fearing lest he should be more then chidden,)  
Fell to a flattering and most base submission,  
Vowing to kiss his foot if he were bidden:  
My foot said he? Nay, that were too submiss,  
You three foot higher; well deserve to kiss.   

202  
●enus in specie.  
WHat curl'd-pate youth is he that sitteth there  
So near your wife, and whispers in her ear?  
And holds her hand in his, and soft doth wring her?  
And slides her Ring oft up and down her finger?  
Sure 'tis some man that's seen in both the laws.  
Retained by her in some important cause:  
Prompt of behaviour in his words and action,  
That doth her business with great satisfaction.   

203  
A malo ad peius  
YOu sent to me to borrow twenty mark,  
But to that suit by no means would I hark,  
Then presently you sent a man in post,  
To tell me that a Lord with you would host:  
And you must have to entertain his state,  
A Silver Basin with some other plate,  
Are you a coxcomb? or think me a fool?  
That should be set again unto the School?  
Indeed I were a Woodcock to be wondered,  
(Denying twenty marks) would lend a hundred.   

204  
La●et aliquid occultum  
●F Doll step out of Doors into the street,  
● But towards Church or with a friend to meet,  
What is the cause (it may be some will ask,)  
Why she still hooded goeth in her mask?  
Oh she's afraid it would be much disgrace,  
The wind or rain should mar her painted face.   

205  
Vsus promptos facit  
WHy strives old Turnus still to have the wall●  
Oh, he is ever drunk and fears to fall.   

206  
Semper idem Incultus.  
TOr●●s hath left his late mechanic trade,  
And useth now another new profession,  
But being still the same that Nature made,  
Yields to his former stamp the same impression:  
Of whom I well may write this Epigram,  
Ne quisquam Sutor ultra Crepidam.   

207  
Foras expertus.  
PRiscus hath been a traveler for why,  
He will so strangely swagger, swear, and lie.   

208  
Levi, responsio levis.  
PRetus that late had office borne in London,  
Was bid by 〈◊〉 good morrow Pretus quondom,  
He, with a jest (no whit put out of temper)  
Replied incontinent Ad●e kn●●● Sempe●:  
Another in a kind of scoffing speeches,  
Would needs request his gown to line his breeche●  
Not so quoth he, but sure 'twill be thy hap,  
That for thy knavish head thou line thy Cap.   

209  
Nil perdit ign●tus.  

Unto a certain Gentlewoman's chamber  
A peddler came, (her husband being thence)  
To sell her linen, civit, Musk, or A●ber:  
●he frank of favours, sparing of expense,  
●o bargains with him ere he par●ed thence,  
That for a parcel of his purest lawn,  
To grant dishonest pleasures she was drawn.   

Next day the man repenting of his cost,  
Began to think upon some restitution,  
How to be paid at length for what was lost,  
Which he intends to put in execution;  
And therefore bend with settled resolution,  
Unto her husband presently repairs,  
To ask him fifty shillings for his wares.   

Her husband ignorant what cause had bred it,  
Says wife, how comes it you have spent such store,  
And must with petty Chapmen run in credit?  
Now for my honour sake do so no more.  
Good Sir (quoth she) I meant it to restore,  
That took it of him only for a trial,  
And find 'tis too high prized by a rial.    

210  
Vt nascimur, morimur.  
WHen to the world we came, we nought did bring  
Borne therefore first of nought, & nought dying   

211  
In obitum Promi.  
THat Death should thus from hence our Butler catch,  
Into my mind it cannot quickly sink,  
●●re Death came thirsty to the Buttery Hatch,  
●hen he (that busy was) denid him drink:  
●ut 'twas not so: 'tis like he gave him liquer,  
●nd Death made drunk, took him away the quicker,  
Yet let not others grieu● too much in mind,  
(The Butler gone) the Keys are left behind.   

212  
Imp●r Impares odit.  
SOtus hates wisemen (for himself is none)  
And fools he hates because himself is one.   

213  
Quod nimis, nequicquam.  
CReta respects her husband wondrous well,  
It needs no proof, for every one can tell  
How kind she is, that if I not mistake,  
Her love extends to others for his sake.   

214  
Ignavis stimulum.  
VOrax is vexed that I thus reprehend him,  
Faith if words will not, Silence cannot mend him.   

215  
Sapiunt quaecunque probantur.  
WE make our Epigrams, as men taste cheese,  
Which hath his relish in the last farewell:  
Like as the purest liquor hath his leeze,  
So may you yearly end the tale you tell,  
The Tail (of all things) some men aim at most,  
Those that had rather fast, may kiss the post.  
And there's an end.   
Semel insanivimus omnes. 

THus have I waded through a worthless task,  
Whereto (I trust) there's no exceptions ta'en,  
For (meant to none) I answer such as ask,  
'Tis like apparel made in Birchin-Lane.  
If any please to suit themselves and wear it,  
The blam's not mine, but theirs that needs wi●● bear   

VT tibi lecta placent, mea sic mihi scripta placebu●  
I●dicio seruit gratia nostra tuo.  
Abijois ista ferus? mo●●tur mea musa dolendo,  
Accipis ista libens? illa quod optat habit.    
FINIS.