THE MOUSETRAP.  
MORDENTEM MORDEO▪  uni si possim, posse placere sat est. 
Printed at London for F. B. dwelling at the Flower de Luce and Crown in Paul's-churchyard. 1606.   

To his no little respected friend little JOHN BUCK, I dedicate this my little Book.  
Sirrah jack, it fareth with me, as with a fearful and fainthearted Soldier, that being daunted at the brunt of Wars, would fain betake himself unto his heels; or as some humorous or fantastic Painter, who falling in dislike with his own workmanship, dasheth out that in a moment, which he framed not in a month. I once was willing to publish these idle rhymes, which then I reckoned without mine host (as thinking on the surveyors, but not controllers hereof) for to their doom and indignation I either must submit myself, or yield to be beaten with mine own Inckehorne. Alas you see 'tis but the silly Mouse, I only aim at, for any greater or more venomous vermin, I leave them altogether to the cunning Rat-catcher, (my little trap being much too weak and unable to hold them.) Thy counsel gentle john) comes now to late in this extremity or rather ambiguity of difference, that should have held my peace (thou wile say) till mine accusers had brought their actions; whereunto I might better have pleaded, Non est factum, then rashly thus in Publicum proripere: But seeing that which is done, cannot be now undone, I must adventure the worst that may come, Semel insanivimus omnes, and there's my rest. Farewell.  
Thine in the prodigality of his loves sincerity. H P   

To the plain-dealing Reader.  
HOnest friend, and good fellow, (for so durst I call a very good man's Son) howsoever others may take exceptions; if any such there be, 'tis ten to one I know them not, or at lest desire not to be known of them, for to none such offer I these abortive lines, that either are of curious apprehension, famous profession, or austere disposition. But then may they come upon me with that old saying of Quam quisque norit artem, with nec Sutor ultra crepidan: 'tis true, i'll not deny but that every fool may make a rhyme, though for my own part, I no more profess the one, then willingly would assume the other. I could have said Right Courteous, worthy, and respected Reader, but that you know were to insinuate; which in a preface of so plain consequence I hold most frivolous and unnecessary: Howbeit with some it is as usual as salt and spoons before meat. But you may see I meddle not with you, or any so judicious Audience. To thee my therefore kind familiar, and old acquaintance, I trust I shall not need use many complements (a word more stale than Mackarel in july) which if it but relish in thy mouth near so little (I mean if it but jump with thy worst conceits) I care not: At least do but suspend what thou immaginest, and it shall suffice. Farewell.   

The Mousetrap.  
Ad Curiosum.  
ANd why the Mousetrap, quoth my cavalier?  
and looking further (says) What have we here▪  
Faith neither Physic, nor Philosophy,  
affected Proze, or learned Poesy,  
The homespun russet, suiteth some that wear it,  
and many brave it out, that ill may bear it:  
I neither treat of stout Themistocles,  
nor use I choice or acquaint Hiperboles,  
Only unfold by way of borrowed rhyme,  
some few fantastic humours of our time:  
Wherein (if aught that's pleasing) may content thee  
take it: If not, suppose no harm was meant thee,  
and good enough.   

Faults escaped in Printing.  
Epigram. 1. for their, read his. ep. 35. for lights, alights, ep. 50. for as, are. ep 51. for he, she. ep 57 for, but (proviso,) but (with proviso) ep. 62. for daily, duly. ep. 70, leave out for. ep. 92. leave out good. Ibid, for haste, hadst.   

The Mousetrap.  

Epigram. 1.  
LVseus that once lay with his Mistress maid,  
And (fearing much to have the matter known)  
Went to his fellow, whom he friendly prayed,  
To counsel him, as were the case his own:  
He that more cunning knew what should be done,  
took this advantage for their better speed.  
To finish that which th'other had begun;  
But then alas, she proved with child indeed:  
And made the Woodcock (who did first bewray it)  
Stand to the reckoning, that could better pay it.   

2.  
NIsa, who from her window glanced her eyes,  
saw Mopsus come, as fast as foot could troth:  
For joy whereof, upon her bed she lies,  
(as who should think, she slept and saw him not.)  
'Twas very strange, unless she meant herein,  
Her eyes should not be open unto sin.   

3.  
WHen Caeus was accused of a rape,  
for stealing secretly to his maid's bed:  
He hardly could the doom of law cape,  
(had he not thus the matter coloured.)  
That took his oath (nor did he swear amiss,)  
He went not to his maid's bed, for 'twas his.   

4.  
Ask Fiens how his luck at Dicing goes,  
Like to the Tide (saith he) it ebbs & flows:  
Then I suppose his chance cannot be good,  
for all men knows, 'tis longer ebb than flood.   

5.  
YOung Codrus Landlord to his father's rents,  
which happy time (long looked for) doth expire,  
Addresseth him with these abiliments,  
as lest beseems the son of such a Sire.  
And thus he gallants it some year and more,  
Until his Tenants thrust him out of door.   

6.  
A Scoffing mate, passing along Cheapside,  
incontinent a gallant Lass espied:  
Whose tempting breasts (as to the sale laid out,)  
incites this youngster thus to gin to flower.  
Lady (quoth he) is this flesh to be sold?  
no Lord (quoth she) for silver nor for gold,  
But wherefore a●ke you? (and there made a stop)  
To buy (quoth he) if not? shut up your shop.   

7.  
BRisco that gallant youngster keeps his bed,  
as feigning to be sick, but (wot you why?)  
Not of an ague, or an aching head,  
no burning fever, or French malady.  
Tush, none of these can half so much molest him,  
As yonder flatcap fool, that would arrest him.   

8.  
IEsu how strange you make it Mistress jane,  
Will you not know your quondam tried friends?  
Remember since you lodged in Pudding lane;  
Shall former kindness merit no amends?  
I say no more: well may you change your name,  
But once a whore, you should be still the same.   

9  
monsieur Flemingo, fraught with Angel's store,  
Would see fair London, never seen before:  
Where (lodging with his Mistress but one night,)  
had (ere he parted) put them all to flight.   

10.  
FIne Mistress Delia defies the man,  
That proffers less to her then golden fees:  
What, think you her some common Courtesan,  
That will her credit or her custom lose?  
In faith sir no: But ere you shall go hence,  
She will for once, accept of eighteen pence.   

11.  
Brutus', that brave and complete Cavalier,  
Who thus of late in Fleetstreet flourished▪  
Thought then no pleasure or expense too dear,  
But see how soon the case is altered.  
As that constrained to divide the street,  
He now betakes himself unto the Fleet.   

12.  
MAdam Rugosa knows not where to find,  
one chambermaid of ten, that likes her minds  
But still my Lord (on proof of comely charge)  
Prefers them to his serving-men in marriage.   

13.  
THe times are waxen dead with Dalila,  
who (since the Term) hath had but little stirring,  
Then was he soughtto more than Helena,  
And Gallants galloped then in Coaches hurrying.  
But now she speaks with all that please to call,  
Lo thus her trade doth Termely rise and fall.   

14.  
FAunus for feats of Fencing bears the Bell.  
for skill in music on each instrument:  
For dancing, carving, and discoursing well,  
with other sundry gifts more excellent.  
But striving still to make his credit stronger,  
The Tailor will not trust him any longer.   

15.  
LAwrence hath loved his Mistress full seven year,  
(served her I should say) yet near durst come near  
So much as kiss her glove, or tie her shoe,  
Think you your M●stris (Laurence) should you woe?   

16.  
I Pray Sir, did you note on Sunday last,  
how richly Rubin was appareled?  
Well may he be compared to a blast,  
or liked to one that's metamorphised.  
For on next morning (ere the day did dawn,)  
All that he wore, and more, was laid to pawn.   

17.  
WHat meaneth Rosamond to walk so late,  
when no man can decern her face or feature:  
(But by her habit may prejudicate,)  
she is some fair, or rather famous Creature.  
Oh good Sir, understand that in the dark,  
One man of twenty may mistake the mark.   

18.  
I Asked Brusus, why he takes that pains,  
To troth in Term time for so little gains:  
His answer was, that such as stand on woo,  
must howsoever, seem to have some doings.   

19  
LOrellos wife is lately brought a bed,  
(as luck would have it) of a goodly boy:  
The hopeful issue of her maidenhead,  
And only jewel of the father's joy.  
Well (God forgive them that may think amiss,)  
But sure as death, the Child is none of his.   

20.  
Tush hang it: have at all (says Curio,)  
Comes not deuce ace, assoon as six & three?  
Who would not rather, half his lands forego,  
Then be out dared, by such a one as he.  
But thus he speaks (his father scant yet cold,)  
And never means to live, till he be old.   

21.  
SOto is lately gone to Sturbridge fair,  
whose little take, makes the Gull despair:  
'Twere good some friend of his, would tell the Mome  
his wife hath had take enough at home.   

22.  
HOw comes it, Druso lives unmarried,  
that whilom was a suitor to so many;  
Alack, his love hath still miscarried,  
And he (misled) was never loved of any.  
I doubt the grief of such remembrance past,  
Will cause the Coxcomb hang himself at last.   

23.  
HOw like you little Dol in her deep ruff,  
seems she not now as proper as the best?  
You think you may command her: marry muff?  
she scorns the motion: fough that were a jest.  
Because she sold her wares so cheap of late:  
Must they be always prized at that rate?   

24.  
THis makes Menalcas muse above the rest,  
to see how acquaint my Lady is a dressed:  
For from the girdle upwards (durst he swear,)  
she doth the shape of very man appear.   

25.  
GAllus that greatest Roost-cock in the rout,  
swelleth as big as Bacchus did with Wine:  
Like to a Hulk, he bears himself about,  
and bristles as a Boar, or Porpentine.  
'Tis not his locks that makes him look so big,  
For all men knows he wears a Periwig.   

26.  
NOw fie upon thee Coward Nemius,  
that oft hast pulled thy Lady's stockings on:  
Yet still wert bashful, not so venturous,  
as scarce so much, her leg to look upon.  
Who comes so near fair game, and lets it pass,  
(At least vnproou'd) approves himself an Ass.   

27.  
YOung Lady Flora, when she first did wed,  
was then but careless of her Husband's bed:  
Which want of years made her esteem as light,  
yet with her serving-man would dance all night.   

28.  
'tIs strange to see, how pure, precise, and neat,  
Rufinus walketh in his ruffe-set band:  
Who will (forsooth) no flesh on Fridays eat,  
but still on nice and curious points doth stand.  
Ask him wherefore, he gives you ghostly reason,  
But then his whore comes never out of season.   

29.  
GVydo hath goodly lodgings that he lets,  
to Gentlewomen of the better sort:  
Nor careth he how little gain he gets,  
so they approved be of good report.  
But still he lights upon some lawless Trull,  
That by her sleights Guydo is made a gull.   

30.  
WOuld any deem Dacus were now the man,  
who was not worth of late a wooden Can?  
Doubtless his skill in something doth surpass,  
but his Red nose is still the same it was.   

31.  
I Wonder when our Poets will forbear,  
to write 'gainst Citizens their honest wives:  
Who (though unknown to me) yet durst I swear,  
they never wronged man in all their lives.  
Put case their husband's pocket (you know what)  
Must they on Stages needs be pointed at?   

32.  
Persuade not Romulus to take a wife,  
who is to wedlock sworn an enemy:  
And ever vows to lead a single life,  
which he accounts most honest purity.  
Besides a thousand reasons that constrains him,  
Amongst the rest a merchants wife maintains him.   

33.  
DAmon his Dick hath not these three years seen,  
nor knoweth where he hath concealed been:  
Was it not strange, that they so jump should meet,  
both at a bawdy house in Turnbull-street?   

34.  
I Cry you mercy sir, I knew you not,  
thus Courtly Metamorphised of late:  
The Country questionless hath you forgot,  
you brave it out with that ma●estick state.  
As (but I now recall whose son you were)  
You might have passed for some Nobles heir.   

35.  
Pontus' is posting hitherward apace,  
to dine with divers that in Fleetstreet meets him,  
But see the luckless chance of such a case,  
assoon as he alights, the Sergeant greets him,  
So that the burden he should have defrayed,  
Was wholly now, upon mine Hostess laid.   

36.  
RVfus is wondrous rich, but what of that?  
he lives obscurely like a water Rat:  
And his apparel, which he seldom buys,  
are such as Houns-dich and Long-lane supplies.   

37.  
Mistress Finetta, for her ready wit,  
is much admired, and beloved of many,  
B●t this one fault of hers confoundeth it,  
she will divide, and jesting scoff at any.  
Which by an ill accustomed use comes on her,  
And yet there's one that plays as much upon her.   

38.  
monsieur Montanus is no little man,  
of unaprooved valour to his foe:  
Persuade, or woo him, with what words you can,  
he'll be revenged, all the world must know.  
But when he found one with his wife in bed,  
For fear, or shame, he durst not show his head.   

39  
CElso but newly wedded, doth repent,  
and means to be divorced incontinent:  
Alas (poor Celso) knewst thou not before,  
she ever was, and will be still a (—)   

40.  
A Knot of Knaves are early met together,  
consulting where to break their fast that day:  
Each well prepared, said no matter whether,  
for none amongst them had wherewith to pay.  
At length an honest gull, that knew them not,  
Came in by chance, and needs would pay the shot.   

41.  
CVtbert our Cobbler can no more forbear,  
to take Tobacco, then to live unknown:  
He drinks all whiffs at least, and learns to swear,  
by Heavens: his oaths and humours are his own.  
But adding hereunto a pot or more,  
He stands to nothing which he spoke before,   

42.  
CLitus with clients is well customed,  
that hath the laws but little studied:  
No matter Clitus (so they bring thee fees)  
how ill the Case, and thy advise agrees.   

43.  
FIe, would you offer Winifrid that wrong,  
as to attempt her Virgin chastity?  
Well wotteth she, you cannot love her long,  
and (which is worse) the world may it espy.  
Which (once revealed) she weet quite undone,  
And yet at length chaste Wynifride was won.   

44.  
PHilo is wondrous jealous of his wife,  
and urgeth terms of shrewd suspicion:  
But knows not him the causer of his strife,  
yet will he yield to no condition.  
For more he vexed is that knows it not,  
Then if you horn him to his face God wot.   

45.  
SIsley and Kate are gone to frolic it,  
late in the evening with their Tom and Kit,  
What luck had they to buy their sport so dear,  
that in the morning must have whipping cheer.   

46.  
Such were those Epigrams of elder times,  
done by that rare and matchless martial:  
As what's now written, are but idle rhymes,  
(compared to him) that did surpass them all.  
Not Virgil, Homer, Horace, Juvenal,  
Nor all the rest were like to Martial.   

47.  
Mistress Morinda is more coy than wise,  
but fair she is, and that most richly fair:  
Her husband bears it out (let that suffice)  
and all defects is able to repair.  
But yet I wonder they should so excel,  
That have been bankrupt, all the world can tell.   

48.  
Nilus' that Niggard, spendeth much in waist,  
true: for he keeps a Drab, yet seems she chaste:  
Who (lest a wife from Limbo should enlarge him,)  
at all times serves his turn, but more doth charge him.   

49.  
WHy should Hippolito be malcontent,  
with that which pleaseth fortune to allot:  
He thinks it not perhaps indifferent,  
that some take ease, whiles other toil and troth.  
Besides, will any man of patience,  
Be called a Cuckold in his own defence?   

50.  
WHat tell you me of such a Peasant Groom,  
that scrapeth up together so much thrift:  
Which he obscures within some desert room,  
and basely lives unknown by any shift.  
His looks as Characters of his descent,  
sprung from the loins of some mechanic site:  
That never knew what civil usage meant,  
but to be only rich doth still aspire:  
Spur such a one in aught but in his trade,  
And you shall soon perceive he'll prove a lade.   

51.  
PEter hath lost his purse, but will conceal it,  
Lest he that stole it, to his shame reveal it.   

52.  
LIeutenant Lentulus lives discontent,  
and much repineth at the want of wars▪  
For when his credit, coin, and all is spent,  
what should he do, but idly curse the stars.  
Content thee Lentulus with thine estate,  
That wert not idle when thou ●●●als● the plate.   

53.  
MArcellus museth how to spend that day,  
wherein it likes him not to see a play:  
But then he falls in some worse place I doubt,  
and stays so long till he be fired out.   

54.  
PRiscilla proves most dainty of a kiss,  
when she entreated, wooed, and courted is:  
Lord how she simpering sits, and minceth it,  
in very deed Sir, she'll not eat a bit.  
As full of manners as of modesty,  
True▪ if her virtue be hypocrisy.   

55.  
OLd doting Claudus doth in haste desire,  
with beauteous young Penelope to wed:  
Whose frozen appetite is set on fire,  
Until the match be thoroughly finished.  
Indeed as good dispatch, as make delay,  
That must be horned on his wedding day.   

56.  
signor Fantasmus near such pleasure found,  
in any thing, as in a deep mouthed hound:  
Small was that pleasure, when upon one day,  
he lost his hair, and hunted all away.   

57  
Have you not heard of Mounseir Maximus,  
that lives by lending without interest:  
Yes, yes: but (Proviso tells you thus)  
you must assure your lands, for such request.  
Which done, you'll find that inconvenience,  
As better 'twere the Devil had fetched him hence.   

58.  
WHen Cacus had been wedded now three days,  
and all his neighbours bad God give him joy:  
This strange conclusion with his wife assays,  
why till her marage day she proved so coy.  
(Quoth he) we man and wife in manner were,  
a month before, then could we have repent?  
Alas (quoth she) had I not cause to fear,  
how you might construe it (had I consented.)  
Fore God (quoth he) 'twas well thou didst not yield,  
for doubtless then my purpose was to leave thee▪  
Oh Sir (quoth she) I once was so beguiled,  
& thought the next man should not so deceive me.  
Now out alas (quoth he) thou breed'st my woe:  
Why man (quoth she) I speak but quid pro quo.   

59  
TAssus hath learning, but no ready wit,  
For drink and dotage daily drowneth it.   

60.  
WHere hath Sir john so long been resident,  
leaving his pensive Lady all amort:  
Who will not say (woe worth such time misspent)  
(for grief whereof she hath no list to sport.  
But leave her not again in such a plight,  
Lest (out of mind) she prove more out of sight.   

61.  
Same swore an oath, that those late Lotteries,  
were mere deceits, and idle mockeries:  
For of a hundred, if he two did pluck,  
the slanders by would say, 'twas Cuckold's luck.   

62.  
Siluanus' boasteth of those debts he owes,  
as who should think, his credit then was such:  
But all his substance, valued now (God knows)  
amounts not to the twentieth part so much.  
Tush, that's no debt which (due) thou still delayest,  
But what with honest care thou daily payest.   

63.  
Herded ye not yet of Captain Ferdinand?  
that was so wont to swagger and earowse:  
He lodgeth now no longer in the Strand,  
but is removed thence to such a house:  
Where all his best acquaintance that he knows,  
Will not redeem th'one half of what he owes.   

64.  
CAstus (of all sins) makes most conscience,  
that men should thus with chastity dispense:  
She that weds him, must have his maidenhead▪  
at lest may chance to bring a fool to bed.   

65.  
NAy see if Momus yet can cease to flout,  
how should he choose, his mere conceits are such?  
'Tis good sir: I'll not say you are a lout,  
(but may not one presume to think as much?)  
I doubt, when we have both done what we can,  
The best will scarce prove good Gramatian.   

66.  
SHall Simon Suckegge, simple Simkins son,  
be matched with beauty for his little pelf?  
Much better were the Lobcock lost then won,  
unless he knew how to behave himself.  
But this hath ever been the plague of it:  
That such are loved more for their wealth then wit.   

67.  
FEstus that feasted long on delicates,  
now such fantastic fulsome diet hates:  
Is it not reason he should spare at last,  
that hath consumed more than all in waist?   

68  
Brave minded Medon can no more endure,  
to live in England, then to brook the lie▪  
Tush, your temptations cannot him allure,  
he scorns them as an idle mockene.  
Urge him no more, I tell you 'twill but grieve him:  
For here his means no longer may relieve him.   

69.  
NAy good Sir, give us leave at least to know you,  
was not your father once a man of trade?  
You now are rich: I know who may beshrew you,  
that for your sake, were younger brothers made.  
(Hark in your ear: 'tis not the wealth you have,  
Can shield you from the scandal of a Knave.   

70.  
PIso hath stolen a silver Boul in jest,  
for which (suspected only,) not confessed:  
Rather than Piso will restore the boull,  
boldly adventureth for to damn his soul.   

71.  
But may they swell with envy till they burst,  
(so thou be rich,) let others fret then fill:  
The Fox much better fareth being cursed,  
and those that threaten, have least power to kill.  
It cannot be thy trade should ever fall,  
That hast already got the Devil and all.   

72.  
MArcus that had a fair (but wanton) wife,  
by whom, all hope of issue was in vain:  
Thought it a hellish and ungodly life,  
to reap no fruit, but labour still for pain.  
At length expecting (what he found by chance)  
and wisely seeing (what he would not see.)  
Steps him aside with smiling countenance,  
as if his luck were such as it should be.  
Was it not wit (think you?) well go thy ways,  
Thou more deservest then a Martyr's praise.   

73.  
CRasus of all things loveth not to buy,  
so many books of such diversity:  
Your Almanac (says he) yields all the sense,  
of times best profit and experience.   

74.  
PAulus a Pamphlet doth in proze present,  
unto his Lord (The fruits of idle time:)  
Who far more careless, then therewith content.  
wished he would convert it into rhyme.  
Which done (& brought him at an other season,)  
Said, now 'tis rhyme, before nor time nor reason.   

75.  
Tyb took an oath, that Tomisin was no maid,  
who angry bad bear record what she said,  
As good have published it with Trumpets blown,  
as call for witness in a case so known.   

76.  
WHen Milo means to spare, then spends he most  
let him but come where sport or gaming is,  
His humour cannot hold till all be lost,  
and never thinketh he hath done amiss.  
For thus resolved, Milo cares not whether,  
He pay th'one half or lie for all together.   

77.  
SIr, can you tell where my young master lives,  
that was surnamed here the Prodigal,  
He that so much for his silk Stockings gives,  
till nought is left him to buy boots withal.  
Oh blame him not to make what show he can,  
How should he else be thought a Gentleman.   

78.  
PHilippus flouteth at such ragged rhymes,  
that much distasting, tax not these his times:  
Indeed I judge him much more better seen,  
in other trades that he hath trained been.   

79.  
YOung Mistress joice her husband doth solicit,  
to hire a garden-house near to the fields:  
Which with her gossip she might weekly visit,  
(for some thing must she have that comfort yields)  
I fear this Bower of weekly recreation,  
Will prove a place of daily occupation.   

80.  
BIndo hath lost his wife he knows not where,  
and frantic seeks her all the street throughout:  
Take courage (Bindo) and be of good cheer,  
to morrow shalt thou find her, there's no doubt.  
To morrow came, deserved she to be shent,  
That brought him home enough to pay his rent?   

81.  
SIlus hath sold his Crimson Satin suit,  
and needs would learn to play upon the Lute  
'Tis well done (Silus) for such suits soon waste,  
whereas thy skill in Lutes will ever last:   

82.  
WHen Rose had reckoned her full time at large,  
she then bethinketh whom to nominate:  
That might partake with her ensuing charge,  
at length with wisdom more considerate.  
She guesseth none ('mongst all the rest) so fit,  
As is the Parish Priest to father it.   

83.  
'tIs known how well I live says Romeo,  
and whom I list I'll love or will despise:  
Indeed it's reason good it should be so,  
for they that wealthy are, must needs be wise.  
But then 'tis known you make most use of that,  
Which better minds contemn, and spurn thereat.   

84.  
MEcus is now become a frugal Sire,  
that spends no more than nature doth require:  
And yet his wife will prove a traveler,  
although but once a year he lie with her.   

85.  
THe humour of Tobacoo (and the rest,)  
wherein our gallants took their chief delight:  
Is daily had (me thinks) in less request,  
and will (I fear) in time be worn out quite.  
For now each Peasant puffs it through his nose:  
As well as he that's clad in velvet hose.   

86.  
THe wicked reap what other men do sow,  
But Cuckolds are excepted (that you know.)   

87.  
THe world is well amended with Sir Hugh,  
since from the time he was a Shepherd swain,  
And little dreamt then (I may tell you)  
he should be made one of the Knightly train.  
But (for his substance answers not his will,)  
As good have dreamt or been a Shepherd still.   

88  
MVsco, that always kept with policy,  
what he had scraped since his infancy:  
Scarce one year wedded (for he needs would marry)  
hath taken Ludgate for his Sanctuary.   

89.  
Zanthus' that wise and cunning Sophister,  
lies now in Limbo for a small offence:  
Who when he came before the officer,  
had not one word of wit to free him thence,  
Why thus it fares, when he should best dispute,  
The Devil or some ill Planet strikes him mute.   

90.  
WHo brutes it Mistress Parnell is no maid▪  
and will not answer such discourtesy?  
She scorns the very worst that can be said,  
and stands so much on her v●rginitie.  
As flatly to their teeth she doth retort it,  
presuming none so vile that will report it.   

91.  
DIck Swash (or Swaggering Dick) through Fleetstreet  
with Sis & Beatrice waiting at his heels (reels)  
To one that would have ta'en the wall, he swore,  
dost thou not see my punk and Paramour?   

92.  
DAcus hath damned himself on due regard,  
from Taverns, Plays, Tobacco, & from wine,  
Swearing he'll live like john of Paul's Churchyard,  
at least will sometimes with good Duke Humphrey dine.  
'twere well done (Dacus) hast thou power to do it.  
But Dice and Drabs (I fear) will hold thee to it.   

93.  
VRbanus that committed an offence,  
with a young country lass (poor silly fool)  
To salve his credit soon conveys her hence,  
unto a Garden-house, or vaulting-schoole.  
Where now (unloaden of that luckless ill,)  
and all dispatched (save the household charge:)  
The goodman-Bawd, or Pander, (which you will)  
brings him no ticket, but a Bill at large.  
Item, for Pipkins, Pap, and other things,  
amounting all to twenty marks or more▪  
And this aloud into his ears he rings,  
pay Sir (quoth he) for shame discharge your score.  
Vrbanus loath to be proclaimed a gull,  
was willing to compound in any wise:  
But yet not tending his demand at full,  
said, he had seen the Lions once or twice.  
The lions answers he, that may be true,  
but think you thence to merit any praise:  
Each Rustic may the lions daily view,  
have you not seen the Dragons in your days?  
No (quoth Vrbanus) that I must confess,  
Then said the Pander, you must pay no less.   

97.  
MAgus would needs forsooth this other day,  
upon an idle humour see a play:  
When ask him at door, that held the box,  
What might you call the play? (quoth he) the Fox.  
In goes my Gentleman (who could judge of wit)  
And being asked how he liked it:  
Said all was ill, both Fox and him that played it,  
But was not he think you a Goose that said it?   

95.  
NAso is hurt, but how none can suppose,  
Lest being drunk, so fell and broke his nose.   

96.  
CAll Danus knave, he straightways draws his sword  
& makes you prove as much, or eat your word▪  
But if you call him honest Rogue or jew,  
he hugs you then, for giving him his due.   

97.  
HAnd off sir Saucebox, she's no meat for Grooms,  
or common wights of base born parentage:  
Alas your lean expense fits Alehouse rooms,  
that with Maid-Malkin holdeth equipage.  
Because Sir Tristram late entreated me,  
You would (forsooth) be thought as good as he.   

98.  
QVintus hath laid a wager of a Crown,  
he'll make a rhyme with any man in town:  
For none (thinks he) may Quintus skill surmount,  
Who can both write and read, and cast account.   

99  
A Health (saith Lucas) to his loves bright eye,  
which not to pledge, were much indignity:  
You cannot do him greater courtesy.  
then to be drunk and damned for company.   

100  
WE make our Epigrams, as men taste Cheese,  
which hath his relish in the last farewell:  
Like as the purest liquor hath his leeze,  
so may you harshly end the tale you tell.  
The Tail (of all things) some men aim at most,  
Those that had rather fast, may kiss the post  
And there's an end.    

EPILOGUS.  
THus have I waded through a worthless task,  
Whereto (I trust) there's no exceptions ta'en:  
For (meant to none) I answer such as ask,  
'tis like apparel made in Birchin lane.  
If any please to suit themselves and wear it,  
The blame's not mine, but theirs that needs will bear it.