A contention between three brethren: That is to say, the Whoremonger, the drunkard, and the Diceplayer, to approve which of them three is the worst, by reason that their deceased Father had given his Succession from the worst of them three.  
¶ A work no less profitable than pleasurable to read, for so much as the vileness of those three vices, is herein set out at large.  
Compiled by Thomas Salter. Tout á l'honneur de Dieu.  
Imprinted at London, for Thomas Gosson, dwelling in Pater noster Roe, next to the sign of the Castle. 1581.   

WIthin this little book,  
is vice set out at large:  
By those that to excuse the same,  
give severally his charge.  
In it also is seen,  
how every several man:  
Others to blame (and hides his own  
Vice) doth the most he can,  
Whereby we may perceive,  
how Satan subtly:  
Makes men seem blind in their own faults,  
when others they descry.  
FINIS.   

¶ TO HIS 〈…〉 Scholar, William 〈…〉 wisheth 〈…〉 felicity 1581.  
AS the giving of a gift unto any one (my good Scholar) on hope to receive for it a greater gift, is a kind of usury: So to give none at all for fear of losing reward, is a degree of avarice.  
Again, as to repent the giving of a gift after it is given, is a testimony of imprudency: So to give one perforce without receiving satisfaction for it from them that receive it is an unwise bargain. But who so considereth in his giving of any gift, what he giveth, when he giveth, to whom he giveth & how much he giveth, may not only be thought a true, but also a liberal and discreet friend.  
Now I thy Tutor, loving thee faithfully, do give unto thee with a most hearty & Zealous good will, this little Pamdhilet, entitled: A strange Contention between three brethren etc. And therefore even as the right giving of a gift, is an act of liberality, so a little remuneration is a manifest token of a thankful mind. Now the recompense that I request (for this) at thy hands, is no other, than first to have thee courteously to accept it, next willingly to read it, & lastly, wisely & discreetly to consider of it. And so doing, although it beareth outwardly the badge of brawling between brethren, yet by means of the same, thou shalt see three execrable vices so pithily deciphered & set forth, that is to say, whoredom, Dronkenness, & dice-playing, as I have no doubt, but it shall both turn to thy pleasure, and others Profit. For what greater Pleasure may be presented unto the, or what sweeter profit unto other, then to see, (by sundry exampls, valeable reasons, & invincible arguments) those dangerous shelves, & Perilous rocks laid open (thereby the better to shun & avoid them) on which many erst have made, & divers yet daily do make most shameful and grievous shipwreck. Well as I said, touching this my gift, my request once again is, that you first courteously accept it, & them that you request others uprightly to judge of it. By doing whereof they whom you request shall do wisely to themselves, & thankfully to you, & you courteously unto them, & thankfully unto me, & I lovingly, liberally, & courteously unto you all, which am yours in all I may to do you good.  
Thomas Salter.   

〈…〉 Reader  
Here have I set forth unto thy view (gentle Reader) a strange Contention moved between three brethren which notwithstanding is not so strange as profitable to be considered of, and therefore although it be not so filled with fine phrases, as the works of some late worthy writers are: yet for so much as it tendeth only to the treading down of vice, & rearing up of virtue, (for I tell thee, vice now is aloft, and virtue lieth low, and therefore needeth help of rearing) I beseech thee to take it in good part, & by so doing, thou shalt encourage me to invre my pen to thy farther profit, in other such petite Pamphlets.  
Farewell T.S.   

¶ THE ARGUMENT OF this present Book, Entitled: A Contention between three brethren: that is to say, the Drunkard, the Whooremonger, and the Diceplayer.  
A Certain Father drawing near unto his end, (having three lewd disposed sons, the one a Whooremonger, the other a drunkard, and the third a Diceplayer, ordained by his last Will and Testament, that the most wicked and vicious of them three should be deprived of his succession. He being deceased, by reason of the strife risen through this bequest between the said brethren, they pleaded their cause themselves before judges, for the same purpose appointed. To the intent that by reciprocal, and mutual accusations, personally declaimed, the matter might more clearly, and with greater Vehemency be deciphered and understood, then if it were set forth and debated by the voice and Organ of an advocate. The Drunkard first, (as appertaining unto him for some cause) beginneth the Alarm against his two brethren, severally, and by sundry assaults: to the intent that he might again at one time, receive from both of them, by one only assault the like. Upon this the parties being amply heard, there is sentence given. Certifying you right courteous and gentle Readers (for it is to you, and to no envious or malignant persons, that I address this present) that if it please you to behold the same, it shall not be without some pleasure, and as I hope less without profit. For the principal end thereof tendeth unto the teaching of all men, chiefly and first of all to be careful of themselves, and not to think or imagine any thing prejudicial or hurtful to their neighbour, neither to search (as Socrates alleged in xenophon) the imperfections of others, leaving to inquire after their own fault, by examining of themselves. Being counseled by this wise advertisement, to take heed rather (as the scripture teathe us) unto the great beam that rests in our own eyes, then unto the little more that hindereth the sight of others, that is to say, to consider, make clear, correct and a mend our own great faults, and offences, before we intermeddle with those little ones of our neighbours. For to do the contrary, and to stumble on this error no less dangerous than common, is the right property and nature, saith Cicero in his Tosculanes of folly and ignorance.   

The declamation of the Drunkard, against his brother the whoremonger.  
THe three brethren aforesaid, to wit, the drunkard, the whoremonger, and the Dice player, being come (according to appointment) before the judges to plead their causes themselves, concerning the inheritance of their deceased Father's succession: the drunkard first and for some consideration, stood forth and after silence was made, said in this manner.  
I am not ignorant (right honourable) with what weight and importance, the present altercation and controversy between us three brethren, is pursued & followed by means of our Father's last will and Testament. By the which our vices must of necessity, be openly heard and understood, and by reciprocal accusation, one brother must unnaturally and wickedly by constraint set upon an other, a deed no doubt greatly to be avoided: But he which hath (as having sequestered from him all honesty) according to the French proverb, once passed over the bridge of Gournay, or entered the Pïc bakers door, that is to say, hath drunk up all his shame, feareth not so much reproach and infamy, as he doth, hunger & beggary, but stayeth himself upon the Greeke proverb mentioned in Homer, and reported in Titus Livius, that is, to die for hunger is a most miserable thing, which thing having before mine eyes & with the same, the pitiful complaint of Franclipeur in plautus, where he thus crieth. O misery of miseries, to be hungry, & not to have whereof to feed or satisfy hunger, to the end I may avoid such a calamity, & not be forced to stretch out my hand in begging (if by adventure I should by your sentence be disherited) I entennd this day to plead mine own cause, on purpose by fallible reasons & sufficient arguments to approve that our father meant not to disherit one of these my brethren, but both of them, & I only to be his successor & heir, for so much as I am assured to prove that both of their crimes and offences do far exceed & surpass mine, and to make it clear and manifest unto you, I am purposed to set upon both of them, to the intent that the vile filthiness of the one being beaten down, I may with one only charge and alarum assail the vile infamous life of the other, not forgetting nevertheless how sacred the name of invectable brotherhood is, neither how straightly the conjunction of brothers is bound, nor how much one brother ought to love an other. But at this present all the same is not so much of my part to be observed and kept, as beggary is to be contemned and avoided, beside there is of antiquity a proverb no less practised than common, which is: nearer unto me is my shirt then my coat, by following of which every man commonly loveth his own profit more than others. Wherefore (right honourable) not to hold you with to long an oration know you that our present strife is to understand which of us three brethren, as the most wicked & vicious, shall be deprived of our deceased Fathres succession, following the order of his last will and Testament, which of necessity and infallibly we must accomplish & keep, and you to the same, as to the only mark, direct and areste your sentence.  
Now to begin my assault, who is he that doth not evidently see that my brother the whoremonger is notably & especially marked as worthy for the vileness of his life, to be disherited more than any other. I cannot but confess myself to be an excessive bibber, marvelous desirous of strong drink, as by the Scarlet colour on my face and fiery heat in mine eyes it is evidently to be seen: but though the same be a vice, yet is it much less than that of whoredom: 
Every man given to think his own fault ●east.  for (speaking only now unto the whoremonger) is there any thing more vicious and infamous then to be tormented and incensed even unto the becoming Bedlam mad for the love (if so I ought to term lascivious lust) of one or many harlots: and among such vile and infamous sows not to live so long, as to languish and to imprison themselves, as in a most vile and filthy stinking hogs sty, and with those lewd Callottes and accursed queans to change their most desired liberty, into a most vile and filthy subjection & servitude where and with whom they make shipwreck not only of good name and honour, (treasures most precious) but also of health and goods, only there to attain shame, infamy, misery, and beggary.  
If all men, after Caesar in his Commentaries, naturally desire to live free and at liberty, hating above all things to be held in servitude, a thing most noisome and loathsome to all, chiefly to such as be noble and free borne: how can we sufficiently and worthily blast out the execrable vice of the infamous whoremonger or Adulterer, who like to a brute beast (for Whoredom or Adultery transformeth a man into a beast, sayeth Plutarch: and it is most near to bestiality saith Erasmus of any vice, and far more meet saith Herodian for a heard of swine than for men) goeth willingly as it were headlong, & casteth himself into the gulf & bottomless bondage of an harlot, a bondage saith Socrates mentioned in Plutarch most vile and infamous, of which opinion Cicero was also, saying: In his book of age, shall I call or account that man free or at liberty, whom an harlot commandeth, or to whom such a one imposeth & giveth laws? If she ask, he must give: if she calleth, he must come: if she becketh, he must bend, if she biddeth, he must avoid: if she threateneth he must tremble. No: such a one saith the most eloquent Orator, & famous Philosopher, in my judgement ought not only to be called a slave, but a most wicked, vile, & filthy slave, yea, were he issued out of the stock of Priam, or any other more illustrius. But pass we on farther, all those that be given to whoredom, & thereon setteth all their minds and thoughts as on their only joy & felicity, they be not only breakers, & disdainers of humane laws, but also of divine precepts, & that even unto their leaving & losing, both of the true knowledge & pure worshipping of the only almighty & omnipotent God, to convert & turn to the culture, & sacrifice of Idols, & other such like execrable abominations By harlots & whores, the wise king Solomon became an adulterer: & for the same, as it is written in the book of kings, all the realm of Israel fell wholly into the hands of jeroboam his servant, the stock & cities of juda excepted, which ramained under the rule of Roboam his son. By adultery many and sundry have been perverted, & the sacred estate of marriage so violated, as bastards became possessors of the inheritance of the right begotten, through harlot's children have assailed & murdered their own fathers and mothers, by adultery divers wives have died & imbrued their hands in the blood & bowels of their loving husbands. By whoredom many kings & princes, which their kingdoms & countries have been betrayed & rendered into to the hands of their enemies, even by those of his own Country, yea, oftentimes of their kindred, & their Towns and Cities sacked, and thrown to the dust. The most wisest and learnedst have become mad and foolish, and the most virtuous, strong, and magnanimous have been made weak, and effeminate, and of men (even like as by the poison and witchcraft of Circe's the companions of Ulysses) have been transformed and turned into swine, and other such kind of Beasts. Which things well considered, is there any to be found more worthy to be blamed, or more vicious and damnable than the whoremonger, Adulterer, or fornicator. Trust me these kind of livers anciently by the law of the most just God, were condemned to be publicly stoned to death among the children of Israel (as the most faulty) and it was executed as in josua it is to be approved. There be two things greatly desired and esteemed among men, that is, renown and riches. For what thing can there happen during this life unto men, that is more precious and dear, than renown, and the Title of an honest and virtuous man, which thing, saith the wise man, is far better than infinite riches, and unto us more permanente and laudable than all worldly Treasures, yea what thing can a man wish or desire to have more noble, or more bright and honourable, than a good name, and glorious renown: to attain unto the which, all labours perils and dangers even unto death, are freely and with a willing heart undertaken, and borne with an invincible courage, and constancy, as Horace that famous Author affirmeth by these words following, Thou Glory only dost heat both the hearts and minds of men: Likewise what greater contentment is there to be found in the world. or what greater felicity than a wealthy patrimony, and abundance of riches, for the getting of which, the lives of men are continually in labour and without rest, and that in such wise, saith Ecclesiasticus, as a number do account it better to be without life, than to live in need & poverty, as who should say, it is almost impossible to support and suffer our lives to want that, whereof we have had afore time abundance. Now notwithstanding that those two things, renown and riches, be so precious, excellent, and necessary, and so much esteemed and sought for of all men, yet is the whoremonger, adulterer and fornicator so wicked and evil of himself, as he nothing at all esteems of them, but rather as one without any respect or care, doth willingly make shipwreck of them: for this filthy lusting love doth always bring & draw after it, dishonour and beggary, the reason is forsomuch as the whoremonger or adulterer doth ever more slenderly foresee or regard his goods and fame, of which two things, when a man is once naked, especially of the last, that is, renown or good name, he is then most vile and reproachful, and as an infamous person is pointed at with the finger of all men, as one unworthy to be moaned or lamented, because that of his own free will, as preferring like a brute beast) lascivious lust and lechery, before virtuous humanity, he plungeth himself into an execrable puddle of filthiness, wherein both his goods and good name are so swallowed up and devoured, as he ever afterwards remains like one bewrapped in misery and beggary: for besides so many instructions both natural and evident, it is good reason saith the harlot in plautus, that infamy, reproach and beggary should follow and pursue my company: Besides for me and for my sake saith she in Solomon, man shall be consumed unto a crumb of bread, that is to say, who soever haunteth the company of an harlot, shall waste his substance as it were Wax against the warm Sun.  
Also sayeth plautus, the Whoremonger accoumptes of his goods as of dross, for without any regard he selleth and spendeth it away, for it is the property of these villainous Harlots, to waste and ruinated all, soul, body, and goods, and to be so catching, and shameless snatching, that they never cease craving and taking. For even as the lecherous desire of the Whoremonger increaseth and springeth up hot and insatiable within him, even so is the importunity of an Harlot never satisfied nor filled from ask, catching, and drawing? for hast thou given her to day, to morrow thou must also do the same, yea, saith Plautus, so long as she seethe any thing to be gotten by thee, as money, or moneys worth, she will with sweet honey words in flattering wise seek to content and please thee, and all the rooms in her house shall be opened unto thee, and her servants as slaves shall serve and obey thee, but art thou frowned on by Fortune? or are thy goods and substance gone and wasted? then farewell, fair friends have good day, for no longer Penny, no longer pater noster, thy credit is cracked, and thy former professed friendship, utterly maimed, nay, saith the Harlot, if thou bringest no money with thee, thou comest in vain to have dalliance or countenance of me. Besides, being so disfurnished and polled of substance, every one will fly from thee, and reproach and sorrow accompanied with grief will pursue and follow thee, banished from all estimation, as a thing by thee, and unto thee, worthily merited, for saith the Poet.  
We cannot enough reprove  
him, that his goods so spends:  
Or who in lust doth love,  
his fame and credit ends.  
Likewise it appeareth, that the worthy Poet, and most famous Philosopher Hesiodas, went about carefully to advertise and withdraw us, by these his verses.  
Beware and take good heed,  
that thou so rul'st thy heart,  
As it be not agreed  
to take an harlot's part.  
For when she fairest speaks,  
and sweeteliest seem to smile:  
Then only doth she break,  
her trains thee to beguile.  
Likewise, whereunto tendeth all the Comical Poets, or the end of their Comedies, for Comedy is nothing else after Cicero, alleged in the Aucolastus of Gnaseus, than the mirror and representation of human life, save only to reprove and blame this filthy shameless & abominable love, and from the same, as from a thing most vicious and infamous to estrange and turn all wanton youthful folk, as also to be an example and instruction to fly and abhor the baits and allurements of these harlots, together their infinite cautels and deceptions, and as many dangers and evil haps as depend thereupon: behold in the Merchant of Plautus, how the father with sharp threatenings and verbal rebukes, with all the force he hath endeavoured himself to revoke and unwrap his son Charin out of the snares & hooks of harlots, in which he was sinfully snared, as knowing the same vice to be above all other most pernicious and hurtful, principally to youth, and generally to all ages. In the Turculent of the same Poet, saith one named Getus, I cannot better resemble an harlot than to the sea: because that she devoureth, like unto the sea, all that she getteth, & yet never will be satisfied, give unto her as much as thou wilt, & there shall nothing be seen either of the giver or the receiver: for which cause Diogenes in plutarch calleth the belly of an harlot▪ the Caribdes or gulf of life, because that it swalloweth and glutteth up all things, & is never content nor filled. Now Caribdes was a gulf of the sea, & very dangerous, which swallowed up only all that passed by it, nevertheless it afterwards did vomit it out again. But as touching the insatiable belly of an harlot, neither the air, the earth, the sea, nor the rivers suffice, but it swalloweth & devoureth fields, castles, & houses, & never rendereth or returneth any thing back again, which thing Argiripus knowing very well, though somewhat too late, for so much as he had been spoiled of all that ever he had, in a brothel house, and afterwards cast out of it naked: he cried out in his complaint, and said: O sea, thou art not the sea, but you O ye harlots are the same, whereon so many thousand of young youths sustain shameful loss & shipwreck, for you suck & sip up the blood of men, of whose labours and travails you have your houses most sumptuously and gorgeously decked and adorned to their shame, ruin, and confusion. Wherefore, saith Plautus again in his Stico. Whosoever can eschew them, let them eschew them, whose name among the ancients, have been in such detestation, as many fathers have disherited their Heirs, because they yielded their necks to the yokes of Harlots. The nature of whom being engendered of Pluto and Tisiphone (sayeth Palingenius) is to promise Sugar, and honey, but to give nothing but bitter Gall and poison.  
Among the x. Commandments of Almighty God, this one is specially noted Thou shalt not commit adultery, by which words we are expressly prohibited and forbidden all manner of fornication, whatsoever it be comprehended (as it is written in Augustin) under this word, Adultery. The which commandment is notably and very often reapeated in the holy Scriptures, by the only mouth of God, his Apostles, and Evangelists. Now than if it behoveth us inviolably, and infallibly, and that on pain of eternal death, to observe, fulfil, and keep the divine Laws and statutes, in which there is nothing forgotten needful to our health: What sayest thou O Adulterer, O Whoremonger, O Fornicator, which against sayest the same, dost thou not see, or wilt thou not confess thy vicious life to be far more filthy & abominable than mine? I will tell the, whoredom was in old time so abhorred in Italy, as by the thirteenth Law of Romulus the first King of the Romans, it was established and permitted to husbands and parents to kill or cause to be killed after what manner so ever they would, their wives or kinsfolks taken in adultery, which thing thou never heardst any Law command against any drunkard.  
And although that Lycurgus, that King and severe Law maker of the Lacedæmonians, hath not written (as the jurisconsull Baw●ow● in his Commentarye upon the Romulan Laws re●●●eth) neither made any Law for whoremongers, possible it was because he thought that there would be no whoredom, used in Lacedaemon, where the people by means of his severe Laws, were most modest and content: nevertheless the time of Romulus was not so, and therefore he wisely thought no Law to be more necessary in a common weal, then that against Adulterers and Whormongers.  
And yet Lycurgus peradventure would have answered, to them that had demanded it, that he omitted and left out that Law, because that he hoped, that with great pain and difficulty it could have endured with such severity. For what is it that Whoredom dareth not do? what is it that it undertakes not?  
What is that it doth not break, violate and pervert? What is it that can restrane the lascivious and lewd will or affection of sensual and disordinate men? Truly there was never Law more required, nor oftener made and reapeated, neither more boldly and often broken and despised.  
Which Law of Romulus, the ancient Germans or Almains seemed to follow: For among them as Tacitus writeth, husbands were so permitted to punish their wives taken in adultery.  
Also by the Law of julius, it was lawful for the Father, to bury his Daughter quick, if he had taken her in Adultery.  
Zeleucus likewise among many other laws which he made to the Locrians, ordained that the adulterer or whoremonger, what soever he or she were, should have both his and her eyes put out, & as he would have executed the said Law in the person of his own son accused of the same crime, and that the magistrates and citizens of Locres, in favour of the virtues and deserts of his father, had compassion and pity of the Son, and remitted and acquitted his offence, he nevertheless being a rare mirror of Princely justice, desirous first to keep the Law inviolate, which he himself had made, caused one of his own eyes and one of his sons to be put out.  
Beside amongst the ancient Egyptians, the whoremonger was whipped till the blood followed, & the harlot had her nose cut, to the end that by the same means (as Tavet writeth in his cosmography of Levant) she might be deprived of that part of her face, by loss of which she presently lost all her beauty which had lead both her, and the whoremonger, her vicious lover to commit evil.  
Thus lo by the Laws and statutes both of the Scripture and otherwise it is evidently approved, that the whoremonger hath been used to be condemned to death, and to be grievously punished for adultery, which thing never was done upon the Drunkard: by which only argument, O whoremonger thou art justly to be adjudged far more worse and evil than I, and so by consequence deprived of our Father's Lands.  
And yet notwithstanding all these vices and inconveniences above named belonging to the whoremonger, tell me what is whoredom and such unhonest love (if as before I said, I may term it love) but only a mere madness, a forgetfulness of reason, a trouble of Council, a corrupting of good and virtuous minds, and a plucking back of virtuous and Heavenly enterprises, to dark and earthly, nay rather hellish usages, making men become ever more, complaynours, quarrellours ready to riot and anger, proud, rash, slavishlye fawning, unprofitable for all things, yea finally, for themselves.  
For the Whoremonger broiling in the disordinate and insatiable desire of reaping his delight, after that he hath during this hunting, lost and consumed long space of his time, in madness, mourning, tears, sorrowing and lamenting, he at the last, wasteth in such manner, as miserably (sayeth Alciat) being so wrapped and snarreled, he wholly perisheth, whereby he not only becometh hateful to all other, but also to himself, for than he hateth to live.  
O where is that so shameless an Whoremonger or so obstinate a venerean warrior, or bold Souldioure of Cupid, that these advertisements will not enforce to blush and sound for shame, and that acknowledging his own infamy, with weeping and wailing, trembling and quaking, will not condemn himself as the most reproachful and vile creature in the world.  
Or if this will not suffice thee, O Adulterer, hark yet what Valerius saith in exclaminge against thee.  
What is there (saith he) more vicious and infamous, more infectious and hurtful, than whoredom: the which as by Witchcraft or Inchauntement so far transporteth the mind of man, that it throweth him from reason to beastialitye, making him not only foolish, sottish and filthy mopish, but also so mad and witless, that he willingly nourisheth the Asp in his bosom that biteth him even to the heart, not feeling the poison so near.  
By the which: Virtue is changed, Glory quenched, and good name killed, for it doth not all only consume and waste the goods belonging to the body, but also those most precious gifts belonging to the soul: in such manner, as it is hard to judge, which of these two dangers are most to be feared, either to be taken of enemies or of harlots, which misery most woefully wrapped the City of the Volsians in grievous calamities and shameful infamies: for as soon as the same City, (which wontedly was the head of Hetruria, no less garnished with good Laws, manners and customs, then with abundance of wealth and riches) was once brought into the bonds of filthiness, it fell in and unto the very bottom of all wretchedness, in such wise, as it submitted itself most slavishlye unto the servitude of slaves.  
At what time also that the mighty King Xerxes, gave himself over unto lust and Whoredom, at that very same time, began both the ruin of himself and his Persian Monarchy.  
By Whoredom that mighty tamer of Monsters, and only subduer of tyrants, Hercules became so vile and effeminate, that he took a Distaff and spindle, and with the same in the attire of a woman did spin among women, as hereafter I will show more at large.  
Who, or what brought that victorious and deadly vowed enemy of the Romans, Hannibal to utter ruin in Capua, and that most famous King Priam of Troy, but only Whores, & Whoredom, the which also alienated the good King and Prophet David, from the fear of god, and provoked him to murder.  
Infinite of such other like examples of mighty Princes, and worthy personages I might and could allege, which through that vice of Whoredom, became soon infamous and most ruinous of goods and honour.  
Likewise many glorious public Weals, puissant empires and kingdoms, yea the most mightiest, sayeth Titus Livius, thereby have been brought to utter ruin and desolation.  
But because that books be filledfull with such things, & that the same unto us all is so evidently known, I will as from superfluous matter, make my retreat, although to speak truly, I cannot sufficiently set out the abomination of the same sin.  
For the brave and gallant train belonging thereunto is: Effemination, Pusillanimity, Destruction, loss, Ill hap, Infamy, Care, Grief, Dolour, Sorrow, Frenzy, Derision, Travail, Tribulation, Follie, Filthiness, Foolishness, Rashness, shameless Malice, Covetousness, Sloth, Beggary, Rage, Suspicion, Injury, hate, Wrath, and Enmity. To be short, as an other Poet sayeth, in speaking of the same infamous, and voluptuous love, the cause of many evils.  
Love (saith he) is a gulf of evil, meaning lascivious love, for it assotteth the wise, it blindeth reason, it overthroweth houses, it shameth renown, it engendereth nothing but repentance, and yet it is but a Smoke, which dispearceth itself into wind in the air.  
Likewise saith he, those lusting lovers, (Lubbers he might have termed them) are so tied unto their harlots, as their hearts, minds, and thoughts, are as it were imprisoned within their breasts, where they make them live and abide in other bodies besides their own: in such manner, as the whoremonger may say with Plautus, where I am, I am not: and where I am not, my heart, mind, and thought is. To which the elder Cato agreeing in plutarch, saith. The Lover liveth and dwelleth in the body of his beloved.  
Besides, we commonly say in these days, the mind and affection is rather there where it loveth, than there were it liveth.  
If it be then so certain, that such villainous love is no other thing but mere madness and fury, and that whoredom or adultery is nothing else but destruction and infamy, doth it not appear more then plainly, that the whoremonger is the most vicious, and so much the more to be blamed, because of his own free will he subjecteth himself to so villainous and pernicious a vice, for the entertaining of which, he committeth a thousand evils, carrying all that he can catch or come by, unto his polling mistress. moved thereunto, by the wrath and iealousye that he hath, least any of his companions, or other as honest as himself, should shroud themselves between her sheets, a suspicion sure not without cause, for as it is written in Ecclesiasticus: The common woman is trodden down under the feet of all passers by, as it were dirt, and mire in the high way, for so much as it is not her nature and condition to serve only to one, but to entertain many, and of sundry Grapes to make her Uintage, and fill up her Barns, for she openeth her mouth to drink of all waters, and notoriously dareth and selleth herself to them that give most, resembling (saith Plautus in his Cistellarius) a great mighty City which cannot come to abound in wealth without the use and frequention of many men.  
Thus by reasons before alleged it is made manifest unto you (right Honourable) how the whoormonger is not only most wicked and infamous, but also most filthy and vicious, above all other: in such manner, that the more I am moved against him, the more matter I find still abounding to beat down his vile ignominious life.  
Wherefore I pray hearken what the Mother of king Lamuel said.  
My son, give neither thyself nor thy substance to these common uncomely Courtesans: for they be the cause of many king's destruction, neither hearken thou to their deceits, saith the wise, for their lips are like distilling honey: but the end more bitter than gall. Their tongues cut as a two edged sword: they walk not in the paths of life, but their feet stretch unto death, and their steps unto the pit. Make thou thy passage therefore far from them, & beware of approaching near to their houses, for who so ever followeth them is foolish, & the gain he getteth by them is▪ shame, reproach, & dishonour, which can no ways be done away again, yea, to be short, whosoever is in the favour of harlots, is lead by them as an Ore to the Sacrifice. Avoid them therefore, for by them the most mightiest have been slain: Their houses are the ways to death, and I have found them saith Ecclesiasticus more bitter than death, for their hands be mere hooks and limetwigs.  
Whosoever will please God let him eschew them, for he with whom the Lord is angry shall fall into their pits, and the sinner shall be taken in their gins & snares, through which many have perished, refrain thy heart therefore from them, lest thou also perishest with them, for the false sweetness and honnied flattery of an harlot, hunteth after the precious soul of a man, unto his hurt and ruin, drawing the unwary and il advised to go towards them to their shame and destruction▪ for so much as it is the peculiar property of harlots to consume & waste all things in their filthiness (saith Alciat) which thing is approved by the Acolastus of Gnafeus, when he crieth out in complaining, saying: Thou whoredom, whom I have had for my especial friend and companion, hast carried from me, both my gods, renown, and friends, leaving me in their places, thy daughters, infamy and beggary.  
Fly from fornication saith S. Paul: for all other sins, whatsoever man committeth is without the body, but who committeth adultery sinneth within his body, & therefore shall not possess the kingdom of God, wherefore I shallbe a sudden witness against whormongers and adulteries saith the Lord in Malachi, and their portion shall be in the lake burning with fire and Brimstone.  
Then seeing that the whoremonger is in such execration before God and men, it most evidently appeareth that the vice or sin of whoredom is greatest, vilest, & most infamous of all other, go your ways therefore you whoremongers, or adulterers, go your way and hide your loathsome heads, within the brothel houses of your most lewd lascivious Ladies.  
I was ready to conclude when there came mustering and marching before mine eyes, these most profitable advertisements of the most rare & learned Poet and Christian Philosopher Pallingenius. The which I think good, descent, and convenient to allege here, translated as followeth.  
Neither the Circe's of Libya, nor the devouring Silla, nor the rage of Charybdis, nor any other thing in the world whatsoever it be, is so much to be detested, feared, and evited, as filthy fleshly pleasure, for alas to how many destructions and ruins, do that abominable sin lead men unto.  
How many renowned and valiant captains, how many Cities, Towns and kingdoms have there been brought to utter decay thereby.  
And to the end I may not annoy you by citing so many examples.  
This one which I will now rehearse shall suffice, and so I will end with the whoremonger.  
Who was ever more renowned and famous for his works, than Hercules, who ever ended more noble acts them he.  
First being but a child, he strangled two horrible Serpents by force of hands.  
He bruised and broke in sunder the bones of Lions, and cut off the seven increasing deeds of the Lernian monster Hydra.  
He out ran by footemanshippe the mighty stag of Menalon.  
He overcame▪ the fierce furious Bull of Crete.  
Likewise the cruel king of Thrace was slain by his prowess.  
He subdued the Oxen of Iberides.  
He broke the horn of Achelous.  
He turned the Strinphales'. He won the golden apples of Hesperides. He broke the gates of Hell, and from thence he drew the three headed hound Cerberus. He slew the Erimautean borne, Cacus and Anteus.  
Afterwards he sustained & bare upon his shoulder (whilst the mighty Atlas for being weary, took his ease and rest) the two near falling Poles.  
And yet notwithstanding all these his invincible virtues, he slavishlye did quake and tremble at the commandment of a simple Lady.  
I pray you consider the case, he that neither feared the wrath, ire, or filthy flames of Pluto, Megaera, and phlegethon.  
He that never quaked at the terrible looks of ugly Charon.  
He fearing oftentimes (most effeminatly) the blaming threats of his Mistress: in steed of a black warlike Morian, took one him the white kerchief of a woman, and in steed of his sword and Targotte, (most infamously) he took the distaff and spindle, and spanne thread all day, and at night as a servile servant he rendered up his task to his Mistress among the rest, quaking for fear, lest she finding fault should chide or beat him.  
O what infamy, nay rather what villainy was this, by which only example, every man may easily and rightly judge that there is nothing more contrary to virtue then whoredom: Seing that by the same, we behold here the over comer of Monstrous and Extirpatour of tyrants, to be short, the most valiant and virtuous worthy that ever was, to be most vilest beaten down and brought under the yoke and servage of joele, a silly young Damsel.  
Credit me I am abashed to behold men make no more account of the greatness of this vice than they do, and that they consider not how much it displeaseth God, seeing with what grievous wounds and daily plagues: without exception of person he punisheth Whores, and whoremongers, as with scabs, gouts, pocks, baldness, and other like lazares diseases, the due and ordinary rewards of whormongers, whose bastards moste oftentimes sit in the seats, and inherit the lands of the true begotten.  
Well I have done, wherefore now vaunt ye, you Adulterers, vaunt ye hardly, upon you to common and unruly adultery, for seeing it is time to sound retreat, I will conclude yielding good and profitable mediocrity.  
Advertising thee, seeing that among and with harlots thou dost willingly waste and spend both thy time, honour, and goods, taking as it seems delight and pleasure in following thy ruin and destruction, to confess & acknowledge thyself to be, (as certainly thou art) the most vicious & reproachful of us three, which thing good brother I believe thou wilt not deny, by following the use of such as thou art, which is, never to hide or keep close their vice, but rather to vaunt & boldly boast of it. Thus having said sufficient against the adulterer, I will bend my piece towards the dice player, and with him I will skirmidge an other while with other new examples, unto which I beseech you right honourable, to lend as attentive ear as they shall by me be curiously and zealously set forth.   

¶ The Drunkard's declamation against his Brother the Dyce-palyer.  
TO the end I may in like manner bring to open view the greatness of the Dice-players vice and infamy, as I have done the same of the Adulterer, I beseech you my Lords, consider if there be any thing more pernicious and unhonest than that Game of dice-playing (if the same be worthy to bear the Title of a Game) the which is no other thing, than a mere torment: a conciliation of thieves: a father of bloody thoughts, a racking of the interioure man, that is to say, a labour of the mind, a repulse of virtue, a decaying of honesty, a raiser of anger, a kindler of blasphemy against GOD and men, and a breaker of friendship, unto which accursed Game, whosoever is given or inclined, they are always sorrowful and disquieted with vexation, for wrath and despite makes their faces pale and wan, they always do that which they have to do in fury and desperately being continually tossed & tormented with a malicious will, and consequently noted with open reproach: in such manner, as not without just and great cause, all good authors have condemned and reproved this game or play, infaminge and blaming all those that give themselves unto it.  
Among which, that excellent Philosopher Aristotle, in the fourth of his morals, very sharply doth follow their defame, calling them infamous villains, as giving themselves to all abominable filthiness.  
All Law makers by their statutes doth reprove and punish them severely.  
The Iurisconsul●s have a title, by the which penalty is indicted and constituted, not only against those which play at the Dice, but also those which make, lead, or move any to play at them.  
Likewise that the laws prohibit them, Horace witnesseth by this his verse The play of dice, the law forbiddeth. etc.  
Moreover Cato teacheth and instructeth us to eschew them. Also the most ancient and virtuous Roman senate, forbidden it straightly by express decree: following the which, Lenticulus who played oftentimes, with the renowned Mark Anthony at dice, was sharply reproved & condemned. The Author whereof is Cicero (who calleth that man most wicked and evil, which commonly playeth and ordinarily spendeth his time among dicers, saying: that the congregation and assembly of them is most filthy and villainous.  
The satirical teeth of Juvenal, not only justly, but jollily doth touch & bite them, and before him Plato (as Plutarch rehearseth) reproved & blamed a young man bitterly that had played at dice. To be brief, the ordinary judgements cryminally executed upon dice players do sufficiently witness how great vicious, and punishable dyce-playing is.  
O thou inventor or devisor of them, whatsoever thou art (for to thee it is that I direct my speech) hearken unto me, thou haste not devised or invented a place of pleasure, or of pastime, as no less coakishlye than commonly men make account of it: but rather bloody torment and dangerous pain. The end of which among a thousand inconveniences and evils that happen, is, (after they have despoiled men of their goods, honours, and faculties, to provoke and (almost by force and necessity) constrain and thrust them, to the committing of murders and theft, and so lastly most miserably and shamefully to yield up their bodies as a pray to the hangman, and a most infamous spoil to the Gallows.  
But for so much as we plead not before unlearned judges, or ignorant folk, I will a little stray abroad, and wander along the pleasant Rivers & green flourishing groves, of such humane documents and disciplines as have been collected and taken of the most fertile and delightful studies of plato, which Prince of Philosophers saith, that there was once in Egypt one named Theuth or Theuthas, otherwise Tempungine, or Trivegeste, whom some, only Cicero and Lactantius, affirm to be Mercury the fift, to whom the bird called Ibis, was dedicated, which bird is like the stork, not that it is the same, the which feedeth upon Serpents, and with the end of her Bill or Beak, purgeth herself behind: whereby it is thought that some learned of it, that art or practice of Clysters: The which Theuth or Theuthas, first devised geometry, Astronomy, Arithmetic, and Letters, and also Dice, for the which first four inventions, I worthily think him worthy of great honour and commendation. But as I think him so for these four, so I am of opinion, that he deserves no less reproach and infamy, for devising and inventing of the fith, which is Dice, for the great evil and hurt that commeh of their use, being put in balance against the goodness and profit of the first four noble Arts is found to be far more heavy and weighty,  
Notwithstanding Herodotus the father of Histories attributeth unto the Lydians (a people of Asia the less) the first invention of Dice: But be it that Theuth or Theuthas (after Plato) or the Lidians (after Herodotus) that were the inventors, surely which of them soever did it, did devise for men a most pernicious and miserable thing. For the use & exercise thereof, engendereth in the heart of the diceplaier, a facility & inclination to all wickedness & vice: In such wise, as many have been, & oftentimes are most filthy & infamous ends to themselves, and a sorrow, grief, dolour and shame to their friends & parents. The which no less elegantly then truly, the worthy renowned Bourbon Poet noted in these words following.  
The play at dice begotten by avarice,  
That father of theft or plague of friendship.  
Being a bloody toil and pitiless fury.  
Is wholly filled with grief, care and iniquity.  
For alas how many, hath the use thereof.  
Drawn as it were by hap most damnable.  
To an infamous death, and end abominable.  
The Germans or Almains of antiquity were such great & obstinate players at dice, as not withstanding how earnest so ever their other affairs were, they would thereat continually exercise themselves, forgetting & neglecting all their other business, committing to the hazard and peril of that game all their goods and faculties, and that oftentimes in such sort, as being thoroughly heat with grief of loss, when all other means to maintain play wanted, they would lastly hazard their bodies and liberty.  
So that the loser entered (as willingly) into miserable bondage and subjection of the winner, at whose will and for his profit the loser (were he never so noble, young or strong,) suffered himself to be bound and sold like a beast. Which thing saith Cornelius Tacitus was a great presumption and pertinacity, howbeit among them, they called it faith or fidelity.  
Credit me, I cannot comprehend how so many men should come to be so subject and thrall to such a miserable hap and hazard, whether it proceedeth of themselves, of Nature, or of the influence of Stars, and yet now I remember myself (if we may credit Firmicus Maternus) whatsoever they be that have their Horoscope and birth in the ninth part of Libra, shall be hot and hardy dice-players. O Star most dangerous, O complexion most calamitous, and O Planets most cruel and pernicious: under which, and by which, men are borne to be Dece players, and thereby bound to the bondage of all vices. Would to God for my part, that all Dice, with the games and pastime belonging unto them, I mean their cursed hap, misery and torment (for in them there is not found neither doth there proceed from them, any other thing) I would to God I say for my part, that they were altogether taken away, & removed from men, to the end that so the thousand inconveniences, calamities, hurts, & mischances might be avoided, which the same vile and most execrable game bringeth and draweth with it.  
I pray thee, thou Dice player, tell me one thing truly, as often and when sooner thou hearest thyself called by that abominable name, dost thou not blush? or if thou knowest not what it is to blush, (for blushing is a sign of grace) dost thou not wax pale and wan?  
Trust me, I had rather far be called a drunkard, then either a whoremonger, or a Dice player.  
For to be drunken now and then 
Every man flatters himself in hi● sin.  is a point of Physic because (as a Prusian Doctor writeth) by wine the strength of the body is nourished and increased, the courage quickened, the magnanimity exercised, the blood & natural heat conserved, the debilytie or weakness of the stomach comforted, the appetite caused, the urine provoked, and besides all the rest, it is a sovereign remedy against venyms and poisons hurting by coldness.  
Also even as Whoredom & dice-playing are accompanied ever more with grief, sorrow, vexation, and anguish, so to the contrary, wine drinking, carrieth with it delight to the heart (saith Solomon) driving away sadness, and clearing the darkness of the mind, and is a very ready help against all cares & solicitudes, for it carrieth with it (saith Horace) rest & sleep: calling it forgetful (an Epithet very proper unto it) because it causeth forgetfulness of all wrath and dolour.  
Therefore to be short considering the great commodity that cometh by Drinking, and the exceeding discommodity by Whoredom and Dice playing, I conclude, that it can not be, but that by observing the laws and institution of our deceased Fathers Will, my Brother the Whoremonger, or both of them, as the Dice player, or both of them, as the most vicious and wicked, shall be condemned, and I by your upright and unpartial judgement, adjudged wheritour of the succession, for which presently we contend, and so I end.  
¶ This being said, the Drunkard gave place, and his Brother the Whoremonger proceeded in answering him as followeth.   

Right honourable, Aesop in one of his Fables no less eligant and delighfull, then full of good Doctrine, and erudition, maketh mention of certain men, carrying by Sacks or Wallets, upon their shoulders, who in the Bag that hangs before them, use to put all the little faults and small crimes of other men, and in that behind their backs their own great and horrible ones, thereby giving us no less truly then pleasantly to understand that we willingly watch and carefully take heed to the imperfections and faults of our neighbours, as men by an natural ill hap covered over with clear seeing eyes, much like unto Argus & Linx: but to see, search out, and understand our own faults and offences we be as blind as Beetles, and sleepy as Moles. The which with infinite other we have this day especially and manifestly perceived in our Brother the drunkard, who more then assotted and blinded in his own doings, but most subtle and watchful in ours, casting his eyes upon our small biles, neither seethe nor favoureth his own most dangerous fistoles and deep scars, and so abused in himself declaiming against us twain his brethren, & such like whormongers, and diceplaiers, as we be, hath not only maintained drunkenness by certain small examples, touching the virtue of Wine to deserve as it were excuse and pardon, but also in a manner to be desired as a thing praise worthy. But we will not any ways hide or keep secret our vice, but freely & plainly we confess whoredom, and dice-playing to be two things very vicious and infamous, marry yet not so much as drunkenness: the which we will sustain and plainly approve, by invincible examples & arguments. Beseeching you, as you have attentively heard our brother to complain against us, so with willing affection you will do the like on our side: to the end that if in defaming and quibbing other, he hath taken pleasure, he in hearkening and feeling the like, may be set beside his Cushions. Now to the end, that by this we may begin, I say, that man is not made and composed of soul only, nor of body only, but of both of them together, & therefore for that cause he entertaineth and preserveth by great care and diligence the good disposition and integrity of them both. As touching the soul, he endeavoureth himself with all his force, to conserve it in the gifts of grace, divinely bestowed upon it, which are the virtues: among the which, Prudence first and principally glistereth, as the Sun among the Stars, and touching the body he giveth no less heed and care to keep & preserve it in the gifts of nature, as in strength, agility, dexterity, health, & such like, & although both these gifts be so precious and inestimable, only that first (to wit of that soul, especially prudence, which is the only art of life, without which it is impossible for any to guide himself by reason) yet notwithstanding all this, they be spoiled & utterly overthrown by drunkenness, For saith Plautus, Drunkenness is no other thing, than a mere and manifest hurt, neither doth it draw after it (saith the prophet Abacuc) other than defame and beggary. Besides, it is a thing greatly to be noted, that all such as are given to wine, how excellent and perfect workman soever they be in any Art or Science, they never wax rich, saith Solomon.  
Doth not Drunkenness deprive man of understanding? doth it not make him to become as one mad, and frantic, doth it not spoil him of his brain, banishing both reason and prudence from him, doth it not steal away health, and engender prodigality, and consume honour, it hath shame of nothing, it expulseth virtue it wasteth renown, it shivereth judgement, and blindeth the mind, In considering of which, I cannot but greatly marvel at the diligence and sagacity of our forefathers, who no less learnedly then wittily, did term Wine by the name of T●ema, that is to say, holding or tempting the thought: and by consequent have also named Drunkenness Temulenes, names no doubt very apt and proper, for the lively expressing of the effect of wine taken above measure. For Drunkenness tosseth & turneth the mind & thought of man here & there, casting it at pleasure, like a ship upon the wallowing waves,  
O what vice more infamous and unhonest can happen unto man then drunkenness, the which (after the opinion of Ennus Seneca, that deadly enemy to all vices) is a mere madness and voluntary incensement. Is there any thing more villainous, or more near to bestiality, then for a man voluntarily & of will to throw & alienate himself from himself, that is to say, from his understanding and power, & to become without judgement & reason, like unto a child of a year old? which thing the drunkard doth ordinarily and of use, for so soon as the wine or strong drink excessively taken spread in the body, beginneth once to wax hot and to boil, then even as soon doth it beat down and cast under feet, the vigour or virtue of the mind, ravishing & bereaving man of courage and spirit, and that in such wise as he hath no understanding or knowledge what he doth.  
●rust me it is the greatest injury that to a man may be done, to reprove him of a will to have pleasure in foolish madness, and to say that of himself he is such a one: for so much as it is the property of a man to seem prudent and to have his wit and understanding at will, of which, drunkenness is the only decay and ruin. Wherefore not without cause hath Androcides said very wisely that even as the hemlock is a venom & poison unto a man, so is wine unto the hemlock, signifying thereby, and giving to understand, that wine is unto man, a venom of venoms, or poison of poisons. And truly if we have good consideration of the words and effect, venom is rightly no other, than a dimunitive of wine, forsomuch as of it, more than of any other venom, proceedeth greatest evils & dangers, For who knoweth not that the superfluity and intemperature of Wine, engendereth infinite evils & inconveniences, to the prejudice and hurt of man's health, as well inwardly as outwardly? From whence cometh these swimmings of the brain, these head aches, this continual heaviness to sleep, this grief of stomach, these fiery eyes, this weakness of sight, this stiffness of sinews, this palsy, these stinking breths, these hot burning agues, these ulcers in the legs, & thousand other such like, save only of drunkenness? which also maketh a man's going stumbling, staggering, & uncertain. For saith Plautus, wine is a wily wrestler, & it first gets victory over the legs, To be short, of drunkenness cometh innumerable sorts and kinds of sicknesses, and oftentimes intested death.  
For which cause Drunkenness is rightly called the nurse or Mother of diseases, and therefore so soon as any one is fallen into any sickness or disease, the Physician the first thing that he doth, forbiddeth the patiented to drink wine, as the only root and nourishment of sickness. Which thing Cicero approveth in his third book of the nature of Gods, because that wine (saith he) hurteth the sick very oft (yea very rare and seldom doth it good to the healthful) therefore is it much better to give than none at all, than any at all. For fear least under a dowbtfull and uncertain hope of giving them health, ye give them death, or some other certain and assured grief or inconvenience? Beside that which dangerous accidents, infamies and above named miseries, the drunkard never makes an end, until he hath prodigally spent all his goods and substance upon the liquorous delicious wine, esteeming and weighing it far more dear and precious than gold, silver, or other metal, and with far greater pleasure and delectation he beeholdeth it, than he doth either the Sun, Moon, or other glorious parts of the Heavens.  
Yea, finally (as it is daily to be seen) without need of other examples, Drunkenness being evermore attended and waited one by grief and sorrow, goeth infamously and shamefully to yield up itself all naked, saith Solomon, into the hands and arms of his dear beloved companion, beggary, with whom he ever afterwards remaineth, as estranged, and void from good fame and honour, for which causes, even in these days, if any one offend us, if we be disposed to vex and touch him as it were to the quick, we presently call him drunkard.  
And not only in these our days, but of antiquity, men have used to reprove men, by the detestable name. Achilles' being moved very wrathfully, with Agamemnon in Homer, could not devise a more injurious and bitinger name, by which he might shame and vex him, then to call him Oenobares, a Greek word, which is as much to say, as taken or overcome with wine.  
The mother of Saint Augustine having been reproved and quibbed by the same word at the hands of her handmaid, took the same so grievously, that she never after would drink any other then fair water.  
Besides, consider how many murders, and unnatural slaughters have been committed and perpetrated (yea oftentimes on their own natural parents and kinsfolk) by those of god Bacchus his hand.  
Wine (saith Esdras) as a seductor and overthrower of understanding, causeth drunkards, to run to weapons, and with them to kill one another, of which deed, afterwards when they are become sober and have slept, they have no more remembrance than beasts.  
That mighty Alexander, did he not being drunken, kill even at his table, that faithful friend and wise counsellor of his, Clitus? did he not as much also unto his virtuous Philosopher Calisthenes, and to other his familiar and household acquaintance?  
For whom after that he became again sober, he so mourned and lamented their deaths, that he bitterly wept and wished to be dead himself.  
Who is ignorant of the great slaughters, ruins & calamities that drunkenness hath caused?  
By it, the most warlike and puissant nations that ever were, have been thrown and rendered into the hands of their enemies: it hath submitted the most proud and arrogant under the yoke of others, it hath overcome and vanquished those, which at arms have been invincible: it was the only overthrow of the Lapiths, a people of Thessaly, & most mighty warriors. By it, the Siracusians fell into the hands of Marcel, and under the power of that Romans. By it that horrible Massagetes were overcome by that Persians. By it, the pride of Babylon, came unto the lot of king Cyrus. By it, the so famous & renowned city Troy was finally brent & sacked in one only night by a small company of Greeks, for they found them (using the self same words of Virgil, buried in wine and sleep.  
Drunkenness inflamed the king Cambisus, unto the murtheringe and killing of his good and faithful counsellor paraxa●pes, because that he told him of his drunkenness.  
Likewise the most valiant King philip of Macedon, being in Wine, by judgement, reverted the right cause of a poor widow: which widow perceiving him to be drunken, with a free and bold voice, said unto him: in crying, I appeal unto thyself, I when thou art become sober.  
Also drunkenness caused the cruel and monstrous Ciclops, poliphemus to lose his only eye by the hands of Ulysses, whom the same monster held prisoner with other Greeks in cave.  
Besides, right honourable, to the end, that there may not remain within your breasts one scruple or dram of doubt, but that you may have great reason on your sides to adjudge our brother the drunkard the most vile and vicious, and so by consequence to lose the inheritance of our Father, we are determined (following the example of our brother, who helped himself with the opinions and sentences of the best learned Aucthoures that he could find, to allege the like, for the justice of our cause, and set forth the authorities and opinions also of the best and most approved, that of Drunkenness have written and entreated. A thing to wright, no less fruitful and profitable, then unto the ears of the wise, learned, pleasant, and delightful.  
The Lacedæmonians, who were so notably well instructed in all virtue and modesty of life, by the laws of Lycurgus, never knew saith Xenophon, what Wine was: as men drinking none, or if they drunk any, it was with so much water, as it tasted nothing of wine.  
For the same worthy Lawmaker, most straightly for bad superfluous drinking and bibbing, upon great pains and punishments, as a vice, saith he, that doth both infect the health, the jollity of the body, the nobility and integrity of the mind.  
And yet notwithstanding he sometimes permitted them to drink, but always under subjection of drinking very little and soberly.  
Plutarch in his Apothegms maketh mention that the same Lacedæmonians, fearing lest their children should run into the vice or sin of drunkenness, the better to estrange & drive them from it, they caused oftentimes their servants, (or as others say) porters or such kind of men as used to be drunk, to be brought before them, to the end, that their children seeing the beastly behaviour and filthy fashions of those drunkards, might have the same vice in perpetual horror and abomination.  
The Persians anciently (being a warlike people) used to drink no wine, but (saith Xenophon) their only drink was altogether pure water. Whose children saith the same author, when they travailed abroad, used ordinarily to carry with them cups and pots of earth, to drink water in by the way, always when they were thirsty, thinking (as no doubt it is) that to drink when thirst enforceth, and that only pure water, was no less profitable & healthful, then pleasant & delightful, and that they did to avoid wine, whereof by that means they had no desire or care.  
The Egyptians, they had of old a certain measure which was very little, the quantity whereof they durst not exceed, when or wheresoever they were drinking of wine.  
Plato, Aristotle, Eusebius, and Galen, do greatly commend and praise the Carthaginians law, by which it is denied to any whatsoever he be, during the time that they be in camp, or in siege, or in that affairs of war, to drink any wine at all, but altogether do abstain from it, drinking all the time no other than fair water, as being of opinion, that by Wine men are made effeminate, and do become over delicate and dainty to bear any labour or travail, and also that it doth hinder and hurt as well the head Captain, as the soldier, of that care, study, policy, and diligence which they ought to have against their enemies.  
Which consideration it should seem did make the ancient Captains, men of war, and Legionaries of Rome, being most worthy and valiant warriors, to be sober in drink: in such wise as it is written of the Noble captain, Lucius Papirius Dictator, that being ready to give battle to the Samnites, he made a solemn vow that if he obtained victory over them, he would drink a Cup full of wine to jupiter, as who should say, that to do so, it is a marvelous strange thing.  
Cato likewise, whom thou O drunkard, didst often bring in for thy purpose against us, returning victoriously from Spain, environed with many notable spoils, accoumted it a great praise and glory unto him that during the whole voyage and expedition which he had made unto the same country by Sea, he had drunk no other drink then the same of the common mariners.  
Caesar in his Commentaries rehearseth that the Sweaves and Almains, a nation very warly, & the Neomans', at this day called Tourulsians, in old time never suffered wine to be brought into their countries, because they thought that thereby the bodies of men would be made feeble and unapt to endure labour and sweat, and that the virtue & vigour of their minds and brains, did thereby wax weak▪ their courages saint, and their hearts and strength towardly  
Which though Homer went about to approve when he introduced that honour of knighthood, the most valiant Hector, who apperilling himself to pass out of Troy in battle against the Greeks, said thus unto Queen Hecuba his dear mother, let no wine be brought unto me: to the end (after the intense of that divine Poet) that it might not weaken or make him forget his accustomed force and virtue.  
In following of which opinion, Archidamus, a most famous prince of the Lacedæmonians said unto such as promised him sweet & delicate wine: To what end, seeing that the more we drink of it, the more it maketh vain of no force, the things appertaining to worthy valiant men? a refusal & sentence, no doubt worthy the mouth of a Spartaine Prince, plutarch in the Apothegms aforenamed rehearseth that Crates, & Theban Philosopher, & disciple unto Diogenes, Cinike was greatly angry & vexed with Demetrius Falerean Duke of Athens, because he had sent him wine, which was nothing serviceable unto a man desirous of wisdom, and knowledge said he, whose modesty & sobriety, he being sent ambassador by that Thebans unto this Demetrius Falerean, whom others named Poliocretes, so much prevailed as the same Athenian Emperor, seduced thereby raised his Camp from before Thebes which he then besieged, unto certain other that inquired wherefore the Lacedaemon's so refraind & abstained from wine, drinking scarce any: (the Prince Cleomines son to Anaxandrides, answered) to the end that others should not be troubled in counseling of us, but rather we others▪ Signifying by this wise & laconical answer, with sharpness and sagacity, men being overcome & laden with wine, are not apt nor capable to counsel well and wisely: but to the contrary sobriety is that only course and head spring of laudable enterprises, good counsels & their executions for it is always accompanied with prudence, diligence, & honesty, as to the contrary. Ebriety or drunkenness is never without folly, sloth, & filthiness, for so much as there is nothing in this world more unmeet for a man, than the same vice, contrary to all virtue, & therefore for that occasion the Lacedaemon's, had it in such horror & execration, as only unto strangers at their feasts & collasions they gave none but the hardest wine with Biscuit. It is also written that Romulus being at a sumptuous feast, was asked why he had drunk so little: because, said he, to morrow it behoves me to talk on matters of great importance.  
Also it is not without cause that the good modest Emperor, Mark Anthony (whose history Herodian gins) drawing near his end, was in a marvelous great care and pensiveness. Lest that his son Commodus (which very young should succeed him) should give himself to riot and drunkenness.  
It cometh now to my memory that my brother the drunkard alleged that he never heard of any law or statute that condemned the drunkard to death, but if he had turned the lease (as it was said unto the Nun that read but half the Sentence and left the other half unreade for want of turning over the leaf) to read a little farther, he had found the contrary, for only Romulus by himself heretofore mentioned, did expressly ordain by his thirteen law, that all women drinking wine, should be punished with death, like to the adulterer, the which law or the like, long time before the building of Rome, was made and observed, generally through out all Italy: where women wholly abstained from drinking of wine, for fear lest they being overcome therewith, should fall into shame and dishonour, they being forbidden the same, upon pain of death, with which they were punished without excuse, or exception of person, whensoever it was proved that they had offended: The author of which is Denis in his antiquities.  
The which law or custom (as Bawdoen, the jurisconsull in his commentaries aforesaid, upon the Romulan Laws affirmeth) in Latiae a Region of Italy, was executed only upon the queen Fawna or Fatua, Daughter to Picinino of the Latins, and Sister and wife to Fanus, the king of the most ancient Aborigenes, which queen having against the decency of royal dignity drunk so much Wine as made her drunken (was whipped to death with willow rods by the only hands of the king her husband in such great detestation they had Drunkenness there, and to the contrary, sobriety in Estimation.  
Likewise the wife of the Mecenian Egnacius (as Valerius reheareeth in his commentaries) was slain by her husband with whips or wands in the cave or seller hard by the vessel, out of the which she had drawn the Wine that made her drunken.  
For whose slaghter Egnacius not only remained untouched or reproved, but also he was for the same highly commended and praised by Romulus, for it was his advise and counsel that the said woman had justly suffered her punishment, for breaking and violating the bands of sobriety, notwithstanding the forbidding of his laws.  
In the Annualles of Fabius Pictuer, I read of a certain widow that was forced by her near parents and kinsfolk to starve for lack of meat (in following the same law) because only she had opened the cubburd privily wherein the keys of the wine-cellar were.  
Solon in his laws affirmeth, that Prince to be worthy of death which is approved to be given to drunkenness, or much drinking of wine.  
Pittacus of Mittelene established grievous punishments against the drunkard.  
Aeneas Domicius deprived his wife of her dowry because that unknown to him she had drunk wine.  
For the same cause the ancient Romans following the institution of Marcus Cato (as himself witnesseth, & Tertulian repeateth in the Apologitica) used always, and as of custom, to kiss their friends & kinswomen oftentimes, for no other occasion, save only to know if they smelled of wine, or not, to the end, that if they were thereby taken in fault, they might without favour be punished.  
And no doubt to speak uprightly, all women overmuch given to drink, little regarding sobriety, easily and lightly do leave that rain of continency to follow & prostrate themselves to all vicious things. Furthermore, the law whereof we have spoken before (made by Romulus, which law he himself kept and observed) hath not only been kept & maintained in Rome and Italy, but also in Greece, as Xenophon showeth in the said commentaries.  
To which law agreeing Zeleucus (of whom our brother also hath much vaunted him) among many other excellent laws that he made unto the Locrians, ordained & established that whosoever drunk any wine without permission of the Physician, should suffer death, whereof Atheneus & Elian are authors. Moreover the grave Roman Censor saith, that if any woman doth commit a vile or filthy offence, as drinking of Wine, she shall be punished sharply by her husband.  
And surely this laudable▪ reason that women should not drink wine unless their husbands licence them, remained and stood in effect and force a long time, among the best and most famous families or houses in Italy.  
But passing from these profane examples, I will a little enter among those of the sacred and holy Scriptures.  
The most mighty, just, and merciful God, creator of all things, speaking unto his Minister of holy things, said: When thou interest into the witness of the Tabernacle, thou, nor thy children shall drink any wine, nor other thing whatsoever that may make you drunken, least that you die the death.  
In an other place by the same divine voice this warning is expressly repeated to all, ministering in his temple, in the which besides wine there is also comprised by these express words, Ale and Cider: by which words (Ale and Cider,) the Hebrews understand and signify all sorts and manners of drink, by which a man may be made drunken.  
And the said interdiction was made to the end that they might attend and watch more holy and warily about the divine Ministry: which thing they had not done, neither could have done, had they been overcharged or laden with wine, the only corruption and marring of the mind and thought, the devertor and neglector of true worship, and the very bate or prick of dissolution and intemperance.  
For which cause the ancient Priests of Egypt abstained wholly from wine, all the time of their sacrifices, even from the beginning of them, unto the end.  
That vessel of election, and most faithful preacher of the truth Saint Paul, condemning drunkenness, willed and ordained (writing unto Timothy the first Epistle) that among other things the Bishop should be sober, and not given to wine, Whereof the decrees make mention, in the place containing these words: Then Apostle condemneth the Priest given to wine.  
And therefore his disciple Timothy drank nothing but water, as his writing unto him witnesseth, where he saith, let not thy drink hereafter be water, but for the health of thy stomach, and the sickness, with which thou art often troubled, use a little wine. Also in the first Epistle to the Corinthians, the same most Christian Doctor saith, that drunkards shall not inherit the kingdom of Heaven.  
For which cause Saint Jerome forbiddeth in a manner the whole use of wine unto Priests & Churchmen, writing and commanding unto his nephew Nepotion, in this sort: Beware (saith he) that thy breath doth not smell at any time of Wine, for fear least approaching near any one, thou hearest this saying of the philosopher pronounced against thee: this is no kiss that thou presentest, but Wine, the scent of which, issuing out of thy mouth, yieldeth a most filthy smell.  
The same holy man also forbiddeth by express words, all Christian Uirgines, the use of drinking Wine, commanding them to eschew and abhor it, as venom or poison.  
The Esseans a people of judea, whose sect for their virtues have been so highly esteemed by Saint Jerome, Philon, josephus, Eusebius, Pliny, and porphine, drunk no wine at all.  
Was it not prophesied of that Prophet, and more than a Prophet, Saint john Baptist, that he should not drink strong drink, to the end that he might choose the good and leave the evil? an argument most plain & evident that wine and strong drink corrupteth & perverteth judgement and reason: and that a man overcome therewith in steed of taking and choosing verity and virtue, taketh & chooseth falsehood and vice.  
Solomon was of opinion that unto a king it was good to minister neither wine nor strong drink, to the end that he thereby might judge the causes of the poor, with a more just and sound reason.  
Cursed be he saith the Prophet, that riseth early to make himself drunken.  
We read in Genesis, that drunkenness was the only cause that Lot that godly man, committed execrable incest with his daughters, who else by no means could have drawn him to such an abomination.  
After the Deluge, as it is written in Genesis, as No first planted the vine, first made wine and first drunk thereof: so also he was the first that was made drunk therewith: whereby we may gather, that if wine was nothing favourrable to him that first made it, what favour should any other hope to find in it save the like.  
Thus by sundry agitations and divers troubles arising by excess of wine and strong drink, the thoughts of men are diversly tossed and moved▪ some become mad and furious, full of noise, quarrels, and injuries: others idle rash and careless, of all manner of work and business, some raylors, and gibing jesters: some vile and vicious talkers: some merry without modesty: some wrathful without virtue or honesty. For wine in force and efficacy is like unto black Choler, that is to say, of divers and variable effects, and of many sorts and manners: which thing one of the problem doctor's of the most noble Philosopher Aristotle declareth, being as it seemeth, borrowed by Horace, thus writing.  
Be it that Wine bringeth joy and delight,  
Be it that it draws us with ease unto sleep:  
Be it that of it cometh hate, fury▪ and strife,  
Be it that foolish love therein nousleth deep.  
Which thing an other Poet also approveth writing of Bacchus, as followeth.  
Before thy pompous seat,  
Where thou triumphing sits:  
Their goeth an army great,  
of such as mar men's wits.  
There marcheth wrath and ire,  
lewd talk ●ake and disdain:  
with discord▪ sloth, and fire  
of fury, grief, and pain.  
Of like opinion is that Scythian Anacharsis, for he saith that the vine beareth three sorts of grapes, the first of pleasure, the second of drunkenness, and the third of wrath and violence.  
The like speech in manner hath been used by Aesop▪ howbeit that others say it came from the foresaid Anacharsis, but be it whosoever ye will, it is certainly the words and sentence of a man both prudent and wise & these they be: The first Glass of Wine, belongeth to thirst, the second to delight, the third to pleasure, and the fourth to fury or frenzy. If then the fourth glass of wine being drunk, do make men become mad and furious, what will become of them, that glows and carouse, down their throats, thirty or forty at a time? trust me not only mad but most beastly and brutishly mad, as: men transported and alienated wholly from their right sense and understanding.  
For most certain it is, that the more such drunkards do drink, the more desirous of drink they be, whereby their folly and ma●nsse doth the more increase.  
And sure this alteration and hot desire of wine is no otherwise engendered then by the vicious and excessive use of drinking: unto which they be so outrageously given, that it seemeth rightly, that such men (if it be lawful for me to call them men) are not borne, but only to devour, and glows, or glut up wine.  
Among which number, Nouelie a Millannon deserveth to be put, who being a Consul during the time of Tiberius Cesar, and having drunk three Congees of Wine at one meal, (which Congee was a vessel anciently containing six Septiers,) had no shame to cause himself to be called and surnamed Tricongiarie, seeking to acquire renown and fame, by a most vile, filthy, and infamous vice.  
But if drunkenness be so much the more to be blamed and abhorred by how much the more the party or parsonage which is infected and noted therewith is raised to honour & dignity, with what worthy note shall we make the infamous Bonosus, that drunken Emperor of Rome. Of whom Aurelian was wont to say, Bonosus is not born to live, but to drink. Whose death was as honest as his life, for being vanquished by the Consul Probus, he ended his days with an halter: of whom being hanged up in the air, this Proverb went. This is no man that hangeth, but an Hogsheade: only because he had during his life, Tonned up as it were whole hogsheads full of Wine with in his belly, for which cause he deserved perpetual infamy.  
Where to the contrary, the most virtuous Alphonsus King of Naples is worthy of eternal praise and glory, for his being (among many other excellent virtues▪ to the example of all famous Princes) very sober in drinking, for he never did drink any wine, but he had three parts of water mingled with it, which argueth great generosity in the said Prince: for the right noble man which esteemeth of honour, will above all things have drunkenness in horror, as a vice most brutish, vile, and infamous, the abomination & filthiness whereof, is impossible to be deciphered and also the evils and inconveniences that comes thereof.  
Because the drunkard is unwise, (saith the most sapient Solomon) and hath no honour nor prudence in him, I am determined to alienate myself and abstain from Wine: forbidding and warning us (as the Apostle also doth) not to be like unto them, which thereunto be inclined and given, neither to be assistant at their tables, nor at the meals or banquets of tumulous drunkards: for so much as of drunkenness springeth dissensions, quarrels, hates, rancours, and most often, murders, and slaughters.  
Yea, it is the death of Virtue: it is the forgetfulness and misknowledge of all honest duty, for in it, (saith the Mother of King Lamuell) is no secrecy, but it uttereth all things, for the tongue of a drunkard cannot be healed, it also commandeth the wise as well as the foolish, the learned as well as the unlearned, and thereof cometh, Folly, Fury, Presumption, and pride.  
Also the reason why Denis (commonly called Bacchus) after the Ethnics, the first inventor of Wine, is pictured or painted with Horns upon his head, is not because the same goodly God of drunkards, did first couple Oxen together, as Diodorus believeth, but because that only by his invention, that is to say, of Wine, and the outrageous use thereof, men become horned, that is to say, furious, and easily moved to excess and rash insolence.  
For only the most poor and wretchedest abject that is, if he be once overcome with wine, he then as forgetful of his calling and quality, taketh horns upon him, saith the Poet, that is, he raiseth himself up in all fierceness and presumption, even unto the disdaining of the most noble and mighty, and like unto Aesop's Crane, he compareth himself with his superiors and betters.  
Also the same is to be seen in the most ignorant, sottish, and unlearned, for being once upon his Horns, you shall presently hear him, be it right or wrong, upon his Ergoes, philosophying against Plato and Aristotle: or so encherubind, he will dispute obstinately on some other Art or Science, against the best learned and most experimented men that are in the world.  
Yea, only the most wicked and infamous, if he be once drunken, he will boldly intermeddle himself with the most honourable, and stand upon his slippers against the honestest man that is.  
For which occasion the Scythians wisely and wittily quibbing and reproving the Greeks Orges and Bacchanales, (which were wont to celebrate the Feast of their drunken God Bacchus, by excess drinking of wine, in playing on Tabors, Timpanies, & such like dissolate drunkenness) denied and disavowed that a God should be an inventor of so pernicious and hateful a thing (speaking of wine) seeing that men thereby become furious and frenticke.  
Also Diogenes called such feasts and banquets as they celebrated to Bacchus in Athens, the miracles of fools.  
And pallingenius following the same (in mocking also the Thebans, who gloried that Bacchus was brone in Thebes, but Indie denieth it,) cried out: O you offspring of Cadmus, why vaunt you of your Orges and Bacchanales? your frenticke frisks and mad Dances? your Bacchus is no God, neither did Semel conceive him of jupiter, but rather the black and furious Tartar, begat him on the most cruel and horrible Fury, Megara. No, no, he is no God: for he himself is the disdayner and hater of the Gods, and never can a drunken sacrificer, order the use of a Sacrifice orderly.  
But who can rehearse the thousand thousand part of the evils, and inconveniences that proceed of this red nosed God, for (saith Solomon) to whom, happens care, dolour, ill hap, strife, wounds, want of sight, trouble of mind, and such like, save only unto those that haunt the Wine Tavern, and that study and take delight to empty the pots.  
Beware (sayeth he) how thou takest pleasure in beholding the Wine sparkle or sprinkle in the Cup, or desire to taste & drink it afterwards morely corouslye or wantonly, for besides that we of ourselves, are too much inclined and ready thereto, the nature thereof, is at the beginning so agreeable and well liking, as it slides down men's throats with great sweetness and pleasure, but the tail thereof poisoneth and venometh much like the Serpent, in such manner that almost by the virtue only of the hot sparkles that proceedeth thereof, (much like to the Basilickes eyes, it beateth down, overcomes and casteth him that useth it, into all opprobrious ignomy.  
Thou therefore, that dwellest altogether with the Wine (saith the wise man) art like unto him which during the greatest storm, & rainiest part of a tempest, sleepeth in the top of the ships Mast, and is so tossed and tumbled on the wallowing waves and surging billows of the raging Seas, as he is in imminent danger of drowning.  
The like whereof, Homer in his Odisses rehearsed, happened unto Elphe●●or, who having drunk himself drunken, broke his neck going down a high hill near unto the Palace of Circe's, in following of Ulysses and his fellow Grecians, which already were descended and nigh embarked. Which thing himself afterwards confessed for short time after, the same King of Ithaca finding him in Hell, asked the cause of his coming thither, to which Elphenor answered, the Wine which I drank so excessively whiles I lived, did slay me.  
The same also, beguiling the strength of Holophernes, as it is written in judith, was the cause that he lost his head, by the hands of that good Matron, which thing had not happened unto that fearful and dreaded Giant, had he read and followed the saying of the Prophet Esdras, where it is written: Wine is stronger than they that drink it, for it converteth all our fantasies into an assured pleasure, it corrupteth judgement, it maketh the thoughts of men vain and ridiculous: those of little children, like unto those of mighty kings: those servants like unto those of masters: and those of the poor like unto those of the rich. For the drunkard knoweth neither what he saith, nor what he doth: thinketh and dreameth, all his high thoughts to be honest and laudable: he maketh no account of King or Magistrate: he never speaketh but by talentes and thousands: he never remembreth or esteameth of freindeshippe or brotherhood: but to the contrary, all furious without occasion, and for a thing of nought he takes his sword in hand: for strife and contention (saith Solomon) is in wine: and even as fire approveth the hardness of iron, so wine argueth the heart of the proud, being a biternes to the soul, & engendereth in man by his excess: a despiteful boldness & anger to all wrestlings: which thing is the right and peculiar property of an incensed fool.  
For which occasion wise and discreet men are sufficed with little Wine, considering that against the force and violence thereof one can resist, be he never so wise, grave, strong magnanimous, or of what estate or condition so ever. Thus gentle drunken brother, I have made plain unto thee the gallant, courteous, precious gifts, and excellent properties with the honest guerdons, and virtuous recompenses of thy great God Bacchus, whom thou in heart, adorest, worshippest, and tearest up to the highest degree of gods.  
But to the end (right Honourable judges) that whiles we render to our brother the Whoremonger the like assault that he rendered us, we appear not immodest and superfluous we will sound a retreat, not denying, but freely confessing to leave many things vnconf●●ed, and unaunswered, which our brother alleged against us. Howbeit, no hard thing to do: but we do not seek only after that, for so to do is the part of him that intendeth to justify himself, and to be approved and found innocent, touching ourselves, we mean otherwise, for we will not hide our faults: neither will we, like unto many other, excuse ourselves, or say, we are blameless, for certain it is, that whoredom and dice playing are both so vile and vicious offences, as they are no less damageable than dishonest, and also the name of them are (as names filthy and infamous) to be avoided, notwithstanding to the contrary we will maintain & uphold the vice of drankennes to be far more greater: then either the whoormonger or the diceplayer: for as we have evidently shown before, not only, honour and good na●e (the only treasures of men) with goods and faculties, are consumed & wasted by drunkenness, but also the soul, health, and understanding, and the mind of man is troubled, ●ossed and grieved, & hurt thereby, even unto the making of him that useth it, to become more vile than any brute beast, which thing our brother chief and especially argued and blamed in us, as a vice most greatest and most infamous of all other, and for such a one justly, and with good reason did condemn & reprove it by the authority of many famous Philosophers, and worthy authors. Moreover, besides the same afore rehearsed, whosoever will wisely and diligently advise & have regard unto the original soever and first beginning of all vices, & also to the exercise and continuing of them, they shall find that drunkenness ought only to be accused, and adjudged most worthy to bear the burden & blame as the only causer, kindler, & mover, and procurer of men to all villainous iniquitis, and especially to fornication, whoredom and adultery. For wine, saith Titus Livius, among many other excellent authors, followeth, draweth, provoketh, & nourrisheth, the dishonest pleasures and desires of the flesh. The rest concerning the equity of this present strife (right honourable (lieth in your fidilcie & prudence, unto which we do commit our cause, beseeching you, if you do see evidently (as no doubt you do as clear as the Sun) that drunkenness is the worst or more vile and infamous than whoredom or diceplaying, that you will dismiss our brother the drunkard of our father's succession, for which our present question is, adjudging the same unto my brother the diceplayer, and to me, by your just and rightful sentence, at which we conclude. Thus pleaded & concluded the parties, which done, the precedent arose up on his feet to ask and require the advice and opinions of the judges assistant. During whose counsel many learned men and other of sundry estates and qualities there's present assembled, (who had heard and understood the difference) murmuring and muttering with soft voice, talked and uttered their advises, every one according to his fantasy: being all in a manner of divers and contrary opinions, as naturally and commonly we be willingly included and given to favour and excuse or hide our own faults and vices. Some hold with the Drunkard, others with the diceplayer, but the greatest part with the whoremonger, as these here for the one, and those there for the other.  
Many said, that they were all three as vicious the one as the other, and that it were therefore best and most expedient (notwithstanding the will of their father) that each of them did inherit his succession equally. There were others of opinion the said, that seeing they were all so vicious & evil, that it were therefore good to disherit them all three. To be short, there was no one among them that agreed. The cause peradventure was, for so much as each of them were particularly touched, & infected with one of these three vices, or with two, or possibly with all three together. But at last among all the rest, there stood up one an ancient grave Gentleman, named Theophilus Equicolus, who after he had made obeisance, said.  
My Lords, to speak in truth and uprightly, I cannot see nor perceive, but that this judgement is of great weight and importance, and not to be lightly looked unto and let slip, also I do not think the contrary, but that these honourable judges before they give a difinite sentence, will have great consideration thereof, but trust me they should not be in this care & trouble if one of these brethren were a covetous person: for such a one should presently be dismissed & put out of the succession (for which this present contention & question is) as the most vile, wicked, & infamous: not only of th●se three, but of all other living, by a thousand, thousand reasons, examples, authorities, & invincible arguments which might be brought forth & alleged against him only among the rest (for all) these to witnesses of the Scripture would suffice: covetousness is a servitude of Idols, which is the ground of all abomination & iniquity: covetousness is the root of all evil: & chiefly, said Theophilus, covetousness is the only poison & pestilence of charity, without the which saith the Apostle, nothing profiteth, because, (as the same Apostle saith father) the charity is of God, & god is charity, & charity is the ground of perfection, & the end of commandment, wherefore follow it, & you shallbe clothed therewith.  
Which opinion of Theophilus, all the assistants together with one voice approved, condemning covetousness as the most wicked and most pernicious vice that is upon earth. But finally, the officers having caused silence to be made, the same generally kept, the precedent being returned from counsel, pronounced his sentence, by the which it was ordained: that the parties should correct and amend their plea, and give replies, and should inform one an other, if it seemed good unto them, within one month, for all prefixins and delays, that the same being brought again unto the court might be ordered and adjudged according to equity and reason,  
FINIS.