THE Householders HELP, For Domestical Discipline: OR A Familiar Conference of household instruction and correction, fit for the godly government of Christian FAMILIES. Dedicated to all religious Householders by R. R. Minister of God's Word. REVEL. 3. 19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore and repent. Printed at London by George Purslowe, for john Budge, and are to be sold at the great South door of Paul's, and at Britain's Burse. 1615. To all Religious householders, their Children and servants: the saving knowledge of God's holy Word, most hearty wished. IN the first Chapter of the Proverbs of Solomon, it is written thus in the eight and ninth verses: My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forget not the law of thy mother: for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. From which words may be drawn a double doctrine: First, that all godly Parents should teach and instruct their children in the Law of the LORD: Secondly, that their children should learn & obey their wholesome instruction. For the first, we have both practice and precept thereof in the sacred Scriptures: the practice in David; who 1 The practice of godly Parents in teaching their children. taught Solomon his son, saying, And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart, and with a willing mind, 1. Chron. 28. 9 Solomon also saith, that his father David taught him and said unto him, Keep my commandments and live: Get wisdom, get understanding, etc. Prou. 4. 4. This was the practice, always, not only of godly fathers, but also of godly mothers: So did King lemuel's mother, she taught her son lessons of chastity, of temperance, of defending the afflicted, of choosing, using, and commending a virtuous wife; as appeareth throughout the 31. Chapter of the proverbs: and in this first Chapter thereof, in the eight and ninth verses, Solomon presupposeth that all godly mothers will be helpers to their husbands, in the religious and godly instruction 2 Precepts of this duty requiring it of Parents. of their children. Secondly, we have in the Scriptures plentiful store of precepts, requiring this duty of all godly Parents: As Deut. 4. 10. Deut. 6. 6. 7. Deut. 11. 19 Psalm. 78. 5. 6. Prou. 22. 6. In which place last mentioned, Solomon saith: Teach a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not departed from it. And Ephes. 6. 4. Fathers, provoke not your children unto wrath, but bring them up in nurture and information of the Lord. Thirdly, there are many reasons and 3 Reasons to persuade Parents to perform the foresaid duty. motives in the sacred Scriptures, to persuade all godly Parents to the performance of this duty: which I will hereafter in another place more largely relate; mean time remember (O Christian Parents) and look back to salomon's motive 1 By the practice thereof, they shall make them virtuous and gracious, adorn them and dignify them; yea, enrich them, and advance them. in this text, Prou. 1. 8. 9 to wit, that Parents shall (by the blessing of God) upon their good instruction, make their children religious and virtuous, as God promiseth, Prou. 22. 6. Yea, they shall thereby adorn them and dignify them, enrich them, and make them honourable and gracious, both with God and men; which Solomon also meaneth, when he saith: that Their instructions shall be an ornament of grace about their head, and chains about their neck. Contrariwise, dost thou neglect this 2 By neglect of it, they make them most miserable, poor, naked, loathsome and odious, both to God and men. duty of instructing them: then dost thou make them most miserable, poor, filthy, naked and deformed: yea, most loathsome and odious both to God and men: as were the Laodiceans, by their blindness, Revel. 3. 17. & 18. and Elye his sons by their profaneness, 1. Sam. 2. 12. & 17. Yea, assuredly, it may be said of thee, that through thy negligence, thou makest thy Children, as Aaron did the people; (Even naked unto their shame:) Exod. 32. 25. yea, and unto thine own shame and ruin for ever without repentance. Remember Elyes downfall, and his sons, though Ely were an elect; because he did not continually admonish them, and duly correct them: he admonished them earnestly for a fit, 1. Sam. 2. 23. but not constantly, say some; neither did he correct and chastise them accordingly, 1. Sam. 3. 13. But hereof we have nearer examples, even at home; for if we cast our eyes upon the World, we may by daily experience see, that such Children as are left unto themselves without Discipline, they shame themselves and their Parents, and live in all outrageous evils, in Swearing, Besselling, Whoring, Mocking, Lying, Murmuring, Sabbath-breaking, stealing; etc. till at length they come to fearful ends: accusing then their Parents neglect of discipline; who drew them to destruction, as the Dragon drew down the Stars with his tail, Revel. 12. 4. Remember (O Parents) that your 3 The necessity and equity of this duty, to be performed by Parents. Children have received corruption from you by natural birth, and by conception: having therefore polluted them, you should be careful to purge them: they are conceived, you know, in sin, and shapen in iniquity, Psal. 51. 5. They are by natural birth, as all others are, The Children of wrath and condemnation, Ephe. 2. 3. O therefore, let Christian equity and pity move you to use all good means, that they may be gotten again by the seed of regeneration, 1. Pet. 1. 23. To which purpose, prepare them for the spiritual seed, by catechizing them, and when it is sown in them, endeavour by daily admonition, and good instruction, to harrow it and to root it into their hearts: in so doing, 4 A farther enlarging of the utility and benefit of good instruction; by specifiing some particulars of it. whereas they are by natural birth only carnal, joh. 3. 6. and fleshly, having not the Spirit, Jude 5. 19 and so do resemble Satan, and are his Image, you shall cause them to become spiritual, and so to resemble God himself, john 4. 24. and to become the Image of God, Colos. 3. 8. 9 Ephe. 4. 23. 24. That seed of Regeneration sown in their souls, will keep and preserve them from the dominion and power of sin, so that they shall not sin as do others, 1. Thes. 5. 6. and Cant. 5. 2. nor as Satan and his sons do sin in a constant course, nor to condemnation, Rom. 8. 1. because God's seed remaineth in them, and because they are borne of GOD, 1. john 3. 8. 9 Lastly, by that seed of Regeneration once received, they are made Immortal, as the seed itself is; which is therefore called Immortal seed, 1. Pet. 1. 23. 24. 25. because it makes them Immortal, and to live for ever which do receive it, john 5. 24. Marcus Aurelius, speaking sometimes to such as were to teach his son, said, that he himself being a Mortal man, had made his son Mortal by generation; but yet he hoped that his teachers by good instruction, would make him Immortal. So may we say of our sons and daughters; that by generation we have made them Mortal, even subject to a double death: yet may we comfort ourselves in this, that by Christian instruction we may make them to become Immortal. See then by this, and consider (O 5 A Corolary conclusion from all the former reasons. Christian Parents,) what special privileges and dignities you may procure for your Children by Christian instruction; thereby you may enrich them and adorn them with all general saving graces, and with outward wealth and honour; in particular, you may make them of carnal, to become spiritual; of being Satan's Image, to become Gods own Image; and of Mortal to become Immortal, and to live for ever. But what course must I take (will some 6 Questions and Objections answered. 1. Question Answer. say) with my Children, when they are well instructed in the principles of Religion? I answer, that after they have been fed with milk, they must be nourished and fed with meat: when they have attained knowledge and understanding, than their affections must be much moved and wrought upon, by the word of admonition, reprehensions, consolations, etc. otherwise they will be hardened by the custom and deceitfulness of sin, Heb. 3. 13. you should therefore daily admonish them, as job did his sons, job 1. 5. without which course taken with them, the word preached will not work upon them so effectually, as otherwise by that means it might. I know no cause, nor need, say some, Object. 1 to admonish my children for any gross sin. No more, may I say, did job: yet Answer. in a godly jealousy did he oft-times admonish his sons, thinking, it may be they have sinned; (though not in outward behaviour, yet in their hearts) by blaspheming GOD in their hearts, Ib. job. 1. 5. For as job always feared even his best works; which who so doth not, cannot be be blessed, Pro. 28. 14. so he considered that man's heart is a sink and sea of all iniquity, Gen. 6. 5. Mat. 15. 19 and therefore he saith, that man Is abominable and filthy, and drinketh iniquity like water, job 15. 16. You say, you see in them the true Object. 2 works of regeneration: they are spiritual, they cannot therefore sin, incessantly. True; yet they cannot but sin by Answer. infirmity, and even haply sometimes presumptuously, as David did: yea, if they be not oft-times admonished, they cannot discern the greatness and dangerousness of their grossest sins: for as the custom and deceitfulness of sin hardeneth, so it also blindfoldeth, as in David's example you may perceive, who, till he was reproved by Nathan, did not effectually repent, because he considered not, nor saw not the greatness and dangerousness of his sin, but by means of admonition, 2. Sam. 12. 13. Hence is it, that th' Apostle willeth us to rebuke the works of darkness: so calling them, because they darken our understanding, and compareth the light of reproof and admonition, to the light of a Candle, because it discovereth our sins that were hid unto us without it, as the light of a Candle doth the things which we cannot without it espy and see, Ephesi. 5. 13. They are, you say, God's image, endued with true righteousness and holiness: yea they are undefiled, Can. 5. 2. without spot, unblemished, not to be blamed, Ephes. 5. 27. I answer, that Christians are perfectly pure, by the purity of justification, by Christ's righteousness imputed; but not by the purity of sanctification, or by righteousness renewed: in respect of the latter purity, we are commanded continually to purge ourselves from all filthiness of flesh and Spirit, 2. Cor. 7. They are God's Image also, by true righteousness renewed, Ephes. 4. 23. Cap. 553 Imago Dei, sicut est abolita corruptione vitiorum, sic est obscurata fumo peccatorum. 24. Take heed therefore, that God's Image be kept undefiled, and as much as in you lieth, unspotted of the world, james 1. 27. The Image of God in us, is much defiled by us: it is daily obscured by the fume and smoke of our offences; (saith Augustine in his Manuel:) Wherefore, you should often set before you & yours, the looking-glass of God's Law, that thereby beholding, both inward and outward blemishes, daily received by the deceitfulness of sin; you and they may be moved and directed, how to wash them away by repentance. Who would endure his own, or his friend's Image or picture to be polluted, or his own apparel, or his face or hands, to be stained; and would not often have them purified, and preserved from pollution? And shall we carelessly suffer the polluting and defiling of so great and worthy a jewel as God's Image is? See the danger of it, consider it : If any man defile the same, him shall God destroy, Gen. 38. 10. 1. Cor. 10. 10. Num. 25. 9 But now Quest. 2 to grow to an end: a question here again may be moved; namely, whether Masters are as carefully to teach and instruct their servants, as their sons? whereto Answer. I answer, that they are: for a householder Why servants should be catechised as well as sons and children. should have a fatherly care of his servants, as if they were his sons or Children, and is not to use them as they use their beasts, respecting only their labour, and the feeding of their bodies, as many Masters do: Abraham, whose family consisteth as well of servants as of sons, circumcised his whole Family, Gen. 17. 13. and charged his whole household to do justice and judgement, Gen. 18. 19 If such as provide not for their Family bodily food, as well for servants as others, be worse than Infidels, as th' Apostle saith they are, 1. Tim. 5. 8. then they must needs be much more worse than Infidels, which provide not spiritual food for them. But what, are not thy servants thy brethren in the Lord? And have they not Souls to be fed and saved, as well as others? did not GOD ordain the Sabbath, as well for instruction of servants as sons? Exod. 20. 10. If by good instruction and admonition thou purge not their spiritual pollutions, thou neglectest God's Image in them, and they must needs infect thy Family, and other Families: they will serve thee with eye service, unless thou make them, as much as in thee lieth, to serve the Lord Christ: Then in serving Christ truly, they will serve thee faithfully, doing, as he saith; The will of God from the heart, with good will doing service unto thee, as to the Lord, Ephesi. 6. 6. 7. 8. These motives therefore, let them be 7 A final conclusion from the end and use of all the former Arguments. well meditated and pondered, that Parents may be stirred up thereby to catechize and instruct their Children, in regard of their welfare and their own: Secondly, let Children be willing for their own credit and profit to hear and obey their Parents instructions: Thirdly, let Masters for the like respect of God's Commandment, and their own commodity, in making them to serve themselves in the LORD; be diligent to catechize, instruct, and admonish them, accordingly. THE Householders Help, FOR Domestical Discipline: OR A familiar conference concerning Christian instruction, and correction, fit for Godly Families. The first conference betwixt a gracious Gentleman, and his eldest son and heir, concerning household instruction omitted. FATHER. Son, I have sent for you, as job sent for his sons: who, though his sons dwelled apart from him, and had houses, and Families of their own: yet he sent and called them home to his house, to give them needful a Father's are to admonish their children, though they dwell apart from them, and have Families of their own. admonition. job. 1. 4. & 5. Verses. SON. GOod Father, I thank GOD for that your Christian care of me, and according to my duty, I will be willing and glad to receive any good instruction from you. FATHER. I Desire to have some religious conference with you, and to admonish you, concerning b The subject or matter of the whole conference, concerneth domestical Discipline. domestical Discipline; For I have heard that your Family is not c The occasion of this first conference. catechised, admonished, nor corrected, according as formerly it was wont to be, by your wife, when you are from home; and which more is, I hear that yourself do oft-times fail in the foresaid duties, when you are at home; Is it so, my Son, is it so? SON. GOod Father, with shame, and sorrow for it, I do confess it, to be so: we are much subject to Spiritual idleness, and to Worldly carefulness; I pray God give us pardon of, and power against these sins. FATHER. I Am sort, my Son, I am very sorry for d Parents should be grieved at their children's ungodliness, and pray for their reformation. you; I pray God forgive you, and amend these evil manners in you: I perceive, by your tears, and speeches, that you are humble-minded; and you do well to confess your sins, and to crave pardon of them, and power against them; e We should prayas earnestly for power against sin, as for pardon of sin. as David did, Psal. 19 13. And as Christ directs us all to do, Mat. 6. 12. 13. Consider also, my son, that unless you do as well forsake your sins, as confess your sins; you have no promise of the pardon of them, Pro. 28. 13. 14. Esay 55. 7. nay, pardon is denied to them that go on in their sins, f Pardom of sin is denied to them which continue in sin: and their destruction is denounced. Deut. 29. 20. Psal. 68 21. in which places, you may also see, that unavoidable destruction shall seize upon all such. SON. O My Father, my heart's desire is, not to love sin, nor to live in sin, but to loath and to leave all sin; show me, (I beseech you) by what means I may subdue and overmaster these my predominant sins; these so strong and mighty giants. FATHER. IF you desire to overcome these strong corruptions, these mighty Champions: g The means to overcome our strongest corruptions, and our predominant sins. you must be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might, wrestle stoutly, and constantly encounter with them, Ephe. 6. 10. you have hitherto let the spiritual sword too much rust in the sheath: if you had often drawn that spiritual sword, and skilfully with courage and constancy resisted Satan with it, as you are willed, Ephe. 6. 10. etc. & verse 16. 17. 18. Satan would have fled, as God hath promised, james 4. 8. Ephe. 6. 16. and as Christ for our consolation and direction hath showed, Matthew 4. 11. Now therefore you must be better armed with more courage and constancy against the next encounter; mean time you must judge yourself, that you may h The means to prevent future judgements, is to judge ourselves before they come. prevent future judgements, 1. Cor. 11. 31. SON. WHat (I pray you) is it, and how are we to endeavour it, to judge ourselves aright? FATHER. AS a temporal judge doth first examine the malefactors, and their evils done, what, how many, how great, etc. and then proceeds to punish; so must we in judging ourselves; i The degrees of judging aright. first examining ourselves, what, how many, and how great evils we have committed: next, we must proceed to a spiritual judgement, censure, & punishment, by arraigning our Souls and Spirits, with indignation inditing them of high treason and rebellion against GOD, at the Tribunal seat of God: Thirdly, we must put up supplication with strong cries, in the name of Christ, for pardon of sin past, and power against sin to come. Fourthly, we must curb and correct ourselves, even corporally, and externally; taking revenge of ourselves for our former faults, 2. Cor. 7. 12. by watchings, fastings, and by restraining ourselves from many lawful delights, joel 2. 16. Fiftly, we must cross our corrupt courses by contrary courses opposite to our former vices, Dan. 4. 24. for as the rule is: Contraria contrarijs curantur. Contraries are cured by their contraries. And lastly, if afterwards all these means being used, you be again and again overcome with these corruptions: yet cease not to encounter; bid battle always unto them, and with greater force afresh resist them; considering that true Christians have always crucified the flesh, Gal. 5. 24. and do daily mortify their earthly members, in regard of that glorious life that they look for, Col. Bernard, Si labour teterret, merces invitet. 3. 4. 5. job. 31. 2. SON. Dear Father, this your counsel and comfort is as sweetness to my Soul, and as healing to the bones that are broken, Pro. 16. 24. FATHER. Give ear then again, and I will yet go on in this argument, of judging, punishing, and correcting yourself; upon often relapse and falls into one and the same offence, (which if you do) you shall prevent both temporal and eternal judgements of sin, and in time overcome the sin itself; of what sort, or how great soever, the sin be, with which you are l The utility of judging ourselves. in war. SON. O But yet, some sins are much more stronger then that I can (weak wretch that I am) ever be able to overcome them: of which sort are those, (I fear me) aforementioned. FATHER. O Nay, say not so, my Son; have you ever aforetime overcome lesser sins? yea, I do know you have; you say you have overcome rash anger, swearing, etc. why then, mark what comfort from thence you may conceive unto your Soul: m Comforts to encounter with our strongest corruptions. he that can over-uercome rash anger, wrath, pride, lust, or any other like, Is stronger than he that overcomes a City, Pro. 16. 23. Saint james doth affirm that the tongue is an unruly member, and no man can tame it, james 3. 8. It is the only grace and gift of God to tame it, which whoso hath, not sinning as before in word, he is a perfect man, and able also to bridle all the body, james 3. 2. SON. SIr, I remember well that ancient rule in religion; n An ancient rule in Religion, (viz.) that the weakening, wounding, and death of any one sin, is the death in time of every other sin. that the weakening, wounding, & death of any one sin, is the weakening, wounding, & death in time of every other sin: and S. john saith, that All that is borne of God, overcometh the world, and that this great victory is attained by faith, 1. joh. 5. 4. 5. Lord therefore, I pray thee, confirm and increase my faith, Luke 17. 5. O my good God, give unto me the shield of faith, wherewithal I may quench all the fiery darts of the devil. Eph. 6. 16 FATHER. YOu say well, concerning that rule; and it doth me good at my heart, that you collect the same in sense from scripture, and conclude thereupon so well with earnest prayer: I will therefore in conclusion of this counsel, encourage you by some examples of such as by chastising and correcting themselves, have overcome most strong corruptions: o Examples of such, as by chastising and judging themselves, have by denying themselves overcome themselves that is, the strongest corruptions of their flesh: or their strongest natural, & occasional corruptions. Hemingius on the 15. Psalm showeth; that he being at Witenberge, there came thither to hostage, a man exiled and banished for the profession of the Gospel: this man, when he did oft times swear, through an evil custom, and did at length consider with himself, how he might amend this evil custom; he came to D. Luther, and requested his counsel, how he might by some means correct that custom and abuse of swearing. To whom, D. p Luther's counsel. Luther gives counsel, saying: Command (saith he) thy wife, thy children, and the rest of thy family, under a great penalty, to admonish thee of thy fault, as oft as they hear thee swear, and that straightway thereupon, they require of thee a great forfeiture of excellent gold. The honest Guest observeth and followeth Luther's counsel: he swore, as before he was wont, he is thereupon admonished, and payeth for every oath he sweareth, much, and very good gold: but after a while, upon much payment, he happily, at length left this custom of swearing; so that afterwards he was never heard to swear at all. Other such like examples Heminge in Latin showeth upon the foresaid Psalm. q Chrysostom's counsel. Chrysostome also giveth counsel in like case, to appoint a penalty of refraining some dinner, or some supper. And another learned Author counseleth such Householders as know their own proneness, to fall oft in the same offence, whatsoever open sin it be, to determine with themselves; yea, to resolve and vow, that as oft as they fall again into the same offence, to make open confession to the family of the first offence, if the fault be known to the family: for the second fault to use abstinence, and to eat but only bread, and to drink water only for one or two meals: For the third fault, to refrain all ordinary food for one or two meals, and to give it to the needy and hungry: For the fourth fault, to forfeit and to give away much money to many poor and r The counsel of ancient, and of very excellent authors. needy men. Such examples are seldom showed, nor found in families: s Three examples, experienced by the Author of this Dialogue; yet such examples are very seldom to be seen: howbeit without this care of correcting & judging ourselves, we cannot prevent temporal judgements, 1. Cor. 11. 31. Neither is our repentance renewed effectually. here-hence it is, that many of God's dear Children, not using conscionably and diligently, as well these as other ordinances of God, are so often overcome by some grievous corruptions, as were the Disciples and the Corinthians, Matthew 18. 1 etc. Luke 22. 23. & 1. Cor. 3. 1. etc. Howbeit I have seen only three such examples, which I will prescribe for patterns. The first was a very religious man, who in the hearing of all his family confessed his fault, saying: I have forgotten one main and most principle doctrine, this Sabbath day delivered, which I intended to have repeated, confirmed and applied to mine own use and all yours: and therefore I am verily grieved at my own forgetfulness: I will assuredly thus, and thus, chastise, judge and correct my own fault. Again, I have seen a second example hereof showed by an honest hearted householder, who upon some open show of discord betwixt his wife and him, before the family, was presently humbled for it, confessed it, etc. And compared himself & his wife, to the couple pieces of the house, which if they fall asunder, they cause other timber of the house to shrink and to go out of order: so we, saith he, having fallen at variance, and openly reproved one another, (which reproof should have been in private) have caused all the family to go out of order, and to imitate (as they are apt to do) our evil example: and thereupon will the less reverence our counsels, our persons or reproofs hereafter: we will therefore (say they) confess our faults, & chastise ourselves &c. that thereby we may remove these stumbling blocks from our family, and learn to wax wiser hereafter. A third example, an other time I saw, t Third example seen. when the Heads and Rulers of a Religious family had heard a Sermon on the Sabbath, and had received a good monition from the Minister their Preacher: namely, that Masters and Mistresses must not be like Nabal, froward, and angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools, Ecclesiastes 7. 11. and great frowardness is a note of great wickedness and foolishness, as Nabals' example showeth, 1. Sam. 25. 17. Afterwards they repeated the principal doctrines, which before were taught them in the Church, the which being applied to the humbling of their own hearts, before in hearing, and then more particularly in repeating: they confessed themselves before all the family to have been in time passed very foolish; for by frowardness and continual correcting, chiding & threatening, which the Apostle wills Masters to put away, Ephes. 6. 9 they saw they had exasperated and hardened the hearts of their sons and servants, made them more froward, and provoked them to wrath, Ephes. 6. 4. and caused servants to counterfeit that, which they should not, Titus 2. 9 for as they had heard from the Preachers mouth, that day, such as are always chiding, threatening, or correcting, are as little feared as the thunder would be feared, if it did daily thunder. u The fruit of this last example. This their foresaid confession wrought in them such a change, & a renewed conversion, that they vowed as they were taught & directed to do: To wink at and pass by many faults; either not Zach. 7. 12. Psal. 130. 4 Mal. 3. 17. Pro. 19 11. reproving but seldom, or else not so sharply, but more mildly reproving, and correcting with less severity. Thus afterwards they became Lambs, which before were Lions, through the power of Preaching, as the Prophet prophesied it should be performed, Esay 11. 6. 7. 8. 9 This caused their Children and servants, (they seeing them to rebuke and correct themselves, and to reform their manners,) to bear all rebukes and corrections with more humility, yea, both to be ready without gainsaying to yield, confess, and acknowledge a fault committed, with meekness and amendment ever afterwards. * The general end and use of these examples. By all this that you have heard, you may evidently see the dignity and commodity of this domestical Discipline, which should first be imposed by Householders upon their own shoulders, before it be laid upon their servants. SON. I Pray you (good Father) go on yet a little farther, and as you have showed good general remedies, so I humbly desire you to apply to my sores some more special salves, and corrosives to mine x A good hearted hearer of God's word is glad of sharp reproofs, 1. Cor. 14. 25. and desireth to be smitten as David did, knowing that to be the only way to bring comfort and health to soul and body: But on the contrariwise health is far from the ungodly, because they regard not Gods statutes, saith the Psalmographe, and they hate to be reproved, Psal. 50. 17. Pro. 1. 22. 1. Thessa. 4. 8. ulcers. FATHER. Sigh I see you so willing to have your sores thoroughly searched into, and thoroughly healed; in particular therefore, for spiritual idleness and sluggishness, to salve that sore, consider how Gods own hand doth discover the foresaid sore, and first, how he bids us to beware of so great a harm and hurt to our souls, Gal. 6. 9 2. Thes. 3. 13. Heb. 6. 12. Rom. 6. 11. 2. Peter 1. 8. Prou. 6. 9 Math. 20. 6. Secondly, consider more specially the evil effects thereof, spiritual idleness is checked and blamed, mocked and shamed. 1. y Arguments or motives against spiritual idleness. Checked by Christ, Mat. 20. 6. 2. Disgraced by Solomon, Prou. 6. 6. Pro. 19 24. 3. It bringeth beggary, and spiritual poverty speedily, which we can neither, resist nor easily afterwards overcome, Prou. 6. 11. Revel. 3. 17. 4. An idle person shall have God's livery and his badge pulled off from his back, sent out of God's house and service with shame: he shall be without speedy repentance afterwards at last, perpetually imprisoned, Luke 8. 18. Mat. 25. 28. Lastly, consider z A special comfort applied to the repentant. that they which by idleness are brought to such extreme poverty, that they are utterly unapparelled, and unmonyed, as were the Laodiceans, Revel. 3. 17. 18. yet they are called and counseled to come to Christ, who if they come humbly and faithfully unto him, will adorn them with royal robes, and enrich them with all spiritual treasures, Revel. 3. 17. 18. as in the foresaid place he promiseth. Now next I come to cure the second sore: * The curing of covetousness, a sore very hardly healed, yet a common contagion, a very dangerous, & deadly disease. which is worldliness and covetousness, in which consider. First, that by covetousness we are made slaves and servants unto riches, Luke 16. 13. Secondly, by covetousness we commit spiritual whoredom against God, making the world our god. Ephes. 5. 5. Col. 3. 5. Thirdly, by worldliness, we choke the growth of the Word of God, Luke 8. 14. Fourthly, by covetousness all evils are occasioned: for, it is the root of all evil, 1. Tim. 6. 10. Fiftly, meditate oft, and consider the end wherefore God gives us much goods, and riches: They are (saith one) God's wages wherewith Note. he binds us to obey & do his work. When God gives us wages to serve him, shall we serve the world, God's enemy? We cannot serve God & Mammon, Luke 16. 13. Now, that riches are God's wages, to occasion us to fear to offend GOD our master the giver of them, it may be plainly proved from Satan's own confession, job 1. 9 10. And from Deut. 28. 47. From which last place, we also learn, that when Note and mark this well. God's work is lessened by us, Gods wages shall be lessened to us: yea, if for plenty, we serve him not with alacrity and cheerfulness, we shall have worldly want, in place of worldly wealth. And so much (I hope) shall suffice, for the salving and healing of that other sore, of worldliness. SON. heal my soul, O Lord, for I have sinned against thee: heal me A Prayer. sound with these thy salves applied to me. Amen, Amen. The second Conference, concerning Household instruction to be renewed. FATHER. Our last conference was, concerning Household instruction omitted: a The subject or matter of this second conference. our next shall be now, how the same should be renewed. And because you have no public catechizing, we will first consult what order & manner of catechizing is fittest for your family, on the week days, and then what instruction is most meet for them on the Sabbaoth days. SON. We have indeed no public Catechizing in our Church to be followed and exercised in our houses: otherwise, I suppose you would wish us to use the same in our Families FATHER. YEs, so I would do, in that case: but it being not so, I would have you to use a certain Catechism, commonly printed: called, b I do not extol this Catechism, to impair the credit of any other, but only commend it for the brevity and addition of some needful things, which larger Catechisms have not, howbeit Master nowel's, Perkins, and Pagets' Catechisms are very excellent in many things: Yet no one man hath all things. Mr. Attersoles Catechism, which hath many things needful, which other have not: as first, the difference of original and actual sins: also, rules for the true understanding of the Commandments, and the Sacraments, which no other brief Catechism hath hitherto prescribed: it is a very pithy and an excellent Catechism. Now, to prescribe an order & manner of using it: After your Sons and servants have learned by the book the meaning of the Commandments, then teach them the sense, by use and experience: for all arts and tongues are better taught (you know) and learned by use and experience, then by rule and precept only: and so are also the grounds of Religion. SON. Explain your meaning (I pray you) by some example. FATHER. I Would wish, I say, after the meaning of the Commandments learned by the book, that you would teach the understanding of each Commandment, by use and experience: c Mark this and continue this course this order and manner of catechizing. As namely, by daily occasion thus: When any in your family shall deceive, lie, swear, murmur, curse, mock, rail, etc. then presently thereupon examine, and show them by the book, what Commandment they break: and when any duty to God or men is omitted, examine, and show them by the book, what precept they offend against, teaching them to express the sense in other words, that you may know they understand the meaning; and teaching them not only by the book, but also by lively voice and speech. Thus to teach them, (I say) upon occasion, the use and experience of that they have learned, will, as I have by trial perceived, both help their capacity, confirm their memory, and work upon their affections, the more effectually. SON. AFter this course of catechizing, continued daily in the Week days, what other order of instruction would you wish chiefly to be continued upon the Sabbath day? FATHER. I Would wish you always upon the Lord's day d Conference concerning Sabbath days instruction, to be used them in each reformed family. to examine all your Family in those things which are every day taught them on the Sabbath by your Minister, who is a godly, learned, and a zealous Preacher: and examine them so, that you may know how every one doth mark and remember, what things were taught, and how they were confirmed and applied. e The carelessness of common Christians, of lukewarm Laodiceans, and Protestant's at large, which abound in this our age, and are even glutted with heavenly Manna. Many men are exceeding careless herein, for where almost is one among many, that questioneth with his servants, about Religion at all? It may be, sometimes (saith one) that they will send them to the Church: but when they return, what do they ask them of their learning or profiting there? unless perhaps once at the hundreds end, he vouchsafe to know the Chapter, and the Verse of the Text, (which betwixt the Church door & home,) even a Parrot would be taught to pronounce. Let such send any of their people upon some worldly business, and they will be sure to ask his servant how he sped, and nothing will he leave unasked to understand the effect of the errand he sent him about: but for God's business, and Soul matters, be they performed negligently, or not done at all, it mattereth not. And almost all men do now content Note this. themselves with a flight examination; hence is it, that their sons and servants can neither show the sum and division of the Text, nor what doctrines were drawn from it, much less how they were confimed and in the use applied, but only they bring certain words, and sentences, or similitudes, not understanding the purpose whereto any thing was spoken by the Preacher. I Note this. would wish you therefore, I say, to examine your Children and servants with such diligent care, that you may know how every one doth mark and remember, what things were taught, and how every doctrine was confirmed and applied, and where any one faileth, let the next that standeth in order by him, show and teach him: & when all have brought out their store, and showed their best endeavour to make repetition, than you yourself are also to help them therein, by a diligent repetition, confirming and applying to your whole Family (and to your own heart and affections) Note this. all the doctrines that were delivered: which I would wish you to do with all Godly zeal and fervency, forthwith and immediately after your coming from Church, before you receive your bodily food. SON. WHere that course is continued, Object. men are commonly accounted Puritan, and we that have used it, have been much derided, scorned, and mocked for it, and many men (you know) in the Country, do call it and term it a private Preaching, and do not cease to say, that therein we show ourselves to be more precise than wise: what say you of such scorners? FATHER. FIrst I say, that though such esteem Answer. wisdom itself to be but foolishness and folly: yet are they themselves the only fools by God's account; Who scorneth the scorner, Pro. 3. 34. and saith, that fools despise wisdom and instruction, Pro. 1. 7. Secondly, I say therefore, that such as would be wise, must not sit in the seat of scorners, nor be daunted with such scorning, though it be a persecuting, Gal. 4. 24. Heb. 11. 36. Thirdly, because such men account this course to be a novelty, and seem to yield much unto Antiquity, I would wish them to consider well Saint Austin's censure, who saith; That every Paterfamilias concionator est in domo sua, juxta Augustini sententiam dicentis; quod concioator est in suggestu, hoc quilibet paterfamilias in domo sua. Householder should be the same in his own house, as the Preacher is in the Pulpit, or in God's house: That is, that he should diligently teach and instruct his household, as Abraham did, who commanded his household to do justice and judgement, Gen. 18. 19 And as the Mother of Lemuel did, Pro. 31 2. 3. who by their sedulity and earnestness in teaching, did set as it were, an edge upon their doctrine, in applying it to the affections of their hearers, that it might move much their minds, & pierce deep into their hard and stony hearts. Now the same that they did, you and every Householder is commanded to do, Deut. 6. 6. 7. where the Hebrew reading is; Thou shalt whet these words on thy Children: and agreeable thereto is that, Heb. 10. 24. 25. Let us whet one another, as it is in the Greek: pointing at, and noting, by that metaphor of Whetting, our spiritual dullness, which like blunt tools, have need to be whetted by daily teaching and admonishing, Heb. 3. 13. SON. I Perceive by the former places, that such as are Parents and governors of Families, should not be like Lukewarm Laodiceans, whom the Lord jesus willeth to repent, Revel. 3. 14. & 19 For none indeed do truly repent till they be fervent, (saith one) for fervency or zeal is an effect of true repentance, 2. Cor. 7. 11. I perceive also by the former places, that not only ministers, but also all Christians should be zealous, according to that general precept: Be fervent in Spirit, serving the LORD, Rom. 12. 11. And that therefore they should set an edge upon their admonitions and instructions, is not that your meaning, sir? FATHER. YEs assuredly, for it is the very life of good doctrine, to move affection much, being well applied, without which, it is but like a plaster kept in a pocket, and not applied to the place infected. A Similitude. SON. Sigh then, in teaching, it is so needful to move affection, show me (I pray you) some helps and means, to make my household admonitions and instructions powerful, to work upon the affections of my Family. FATHER. TWo things are needful in teaching, to move affection much: First fervency; Secondly, constancy: Teach therefore and instruct your Family with feeling and with fervency; in particular, in reproving such as are audacious and presumptuous, do it not as some do, with a smiling countenance: but as our Saviour did with an angry countenance, mourning also, as he did, for the hardness of their hearts. Mark 3. 5. Secondly, in admonishing the unruly, Charge & command them to deal religiously, justly and truly, as Abraham did. Thirdly, in comforting the féeble-minded, and when any matter of comfort is to be applied, speak then with cheerful speech and countenance, if you can: for God requireth mercy to be showed with cheerfulness, Rom. 12. 8. and he loveth a cheerful giver, (chief in giving spiritual gifts:) be not therefore in comforting, drowsy, heavy-hearted, and leaden like: but show yourself in comforting, comfortable, and to be comforted. Thus much concerning fervency. Again, to make your instruction powerful, you must teach and admonish constantly and diligently: for as the drops of rain cannot wear thorough an hard stone, without often dropping, how sharp soever the water, or the dropping be: so the Word applied not often, but seldom earnestly, will not pierce thorough the stony heart of man; though doctrine well applied be as the dropping of the rain upon the stone, or earth, Deut. 32. 2. which must have, to Deut. 32. 2 make it fruitful, both the early and the latter rain. The heart of man is more hard than the Adamant stone, and yet by often beating upon it, by the hammer of God's Law, it may be bruised and humbled, jer. 23. 29. The powerful applying of jer. 23. 29. doctrine is as the nails, which unless they be with many blows hammered and beaten up thoroughly unto the head, will not hold a strong and thick shipboard, Ecclesiastes 12. 11. Eccles. 12. 11. Lastly, the effectual applying of doctrine, is like unto the grindstone or whetstone, which will not without much grinding & often whetting make edge-tools (being much and often dulled) fit to work withal, or keen to cut: So our hearts and affections being hardened, blunted, and dulled by the deceitfulness of sin, had need to be much whetted, that they may be made fit for God's work, by daily and earnest admonition and exhortation, Heb. 10. 24. 25. Heb. 3. 13. Therefore Moses in the foresaid place showeth, Deut. 6. 6. 7. That we must Deut. 6. 6. 7. make our admonitions powerful to pierce: first, by having and feeling the power thereof abiding and working in our own hearts, and then next in whetting the same upon our children and others, by continual talking and conferring of the sacred Scriptures: when we walk in the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up. Lastly, if you do desire to teach and instruct your family so, that you may move much & thoroughly work upon the hearts of your hearers, even all good and holy affections: Consider then also of other needful helps thereunto belonging: namely, that in your family you must walk wisely, Adjuncts to the former means praise orderly, reward worthily, and correct accordingly. THE THIRD CONFErence, concerning the four last mentioned helps and means to make Household instruction powerful, to work good and holy affections in the HEARERS. SON. Question. Explain and confirm, I pray you, in particular, these former directions. FATHER. Answer. FIrst, as God commandeth, you must walk wisely, Colos. 4. 5. Ephe. 5. 15. shun therefore all gross and open vices, otherwise that which you build with the one hand, you pull down with the other, and are in God's account a murderer, 1. Cor. 8. 11. 12. Rom. 14. 15. Secondly, walk wisely, in all good ways, that so doing, you may adorn the doctrine of our Saviour in all things, Titus 2. 10. In particular, pray hearty Tit. 2. 10 and daily for (and with) your Family; and in special, for every one, upon all occasions as job did, job. 1. 4. 5. Next, look and pry upon every Week day, into their carriage; and on the Lord's day, see that every one from Sabbath to Sabbath, do diligently frequent the public ministery, and how they profit in knowledge, and grow in Grace, 1. Pet. 2. 2. Secondly, you should praise and commend your Child, your son, your daughter, your Servant, when they do any thing well, laudably, or praiseworthy; for praise is a spur to quicken, & encourage them in all good courses, 1. Cor. 1▪ 5. 6. Revel. 2. 3. 6. 13. 19 Revel. 3. 8. Thirdly, reward them when they do well; for a Reward is as a precious stone, saith Solomon, it prospereth whithersoever it turneth, Pro. 17. 8. That is, as one expounds it, a gift or reward hath great force to gain the hearts of them to whomsoever it is given. Fourthly, correct them also, when they do evil: correction must be used when any will not be amended by admonition; if after due and many admonitions, you give not meet correction; then do you honour your sons above the Lord, as Elye did, 1. Sam. 2. 19 yea though for a fit you do earnestly reprove them with Elye, 1. Sam. 2. 23. 24. 25. His cockering of his Children, brought destruction upon him and his, and general calamity (as you know) to the Church of God, 1. Sam. 4. 10. 11. etc. Yet h Carelessness of correcting. many careless Christians, like lukewarm Laodiceans, never correct their unreformed Family, for dishonouring God by swearing, Sabbath-breaking, or for other faults against the first Table, but only in such cases as concern their own persons, their own credit, profit, pleasure, etc. But, let all such know, that not correcting such foul offences, they draw on themselves and others all common calamities, as Elye did, 1. Sam. 4. 10. 11. 18. 19 20. Correct therefore your unreformed Family, if you desire to free yourself & others from fearful & grievous judgements: The order & manner of correcting children & servants. And correct them, in this order & manner: First, after due monition, convincing, if possibly it may be, their consciences; otherwise they will wax worse, and become more obdurate, stubborn & subtle. Secondly, correct after anger, not in anger, and in passion; for anger oft-times can keep no measure. Anger, said a Philosopher, is a short madness: and therefore when Tarentinus was to correct his servant, he said: I would beat thee, but that I am angry with thee. Thirdly, correct also chief & principally, for the breach of the first four Commandments. Fourthly, correct not with too much lenity; for too much lenity causeth (as one saith) security: so too much security provoketh to wrath and to desperate iniquity: severity should be shunned therefore. Ephes. 6. 4. And therefore, saith one, Correct not, nor beat not thy servants with staves, as if they were dogs, nor with too many stripes, as if they were bondslaves: but keep always an even hand betwixt these two extremes: and when thou correctest, be thou humbled to God; considering in them, thine own natural Gal. 6. 1. or occasional corruption, Gal. 6. 1. Fiftly, delay not correction too long, left they grow sturdy and incorrigible, Ecclesiastic. 30. 8. 12. Proverbs 13. 24. Proverbs 23. 13. 14. Proverbs. 19 18. & lest any root of bitterness spring up, and thereby many be defiled, Heb. 12. 15. sixth and lastly: if private correction in the Family reform them not; bring them (if their vices be openly nocious and scandalous to many,) before the Magistrate; or Church-governors, to be openly corrected, Deut. 20. 21. Mat. Deut. 21. 21 Mat. 18. 17 1. Cor. 5. 5. 18. 17. 1. Cor. 5. 5. And if neither private nor public correction work upon them, to their reformation; expel them, and rid thy house and Family of them, as David's example should direct thee to do, upon that occasion, Psalm 101. 7. Psal. 101. 7 FINIS. A Prayer uttered by R. R. Minister, and Preacher of God's Word, in time of his sickness: Penned for a remembrance, etc. (▪) O Most glorious & most gracious God, who killest and makest alive: bringest downe to the grave, and raisest up again: 1. Sam. 2. 6. who usest sickness as thy Sergeant, thereby arresting us, to renew our reckoning with thee, and our conversion. 1. Cor. 11. 31. joh. 5. 14. Psal. 38. 3. There is no health in my flesh, O Lord, because of thy displeasure: nor any rest in my bones, Psal▪ 38. 3 by reason of my sin: I have deserved a double death, both temporal and eternal, by original and actual sin: Rom. 5. 12. Rom. 6. 23 & Deu 27. 26. O that I could chatter like a Crane, and mourn like a Dove, Esay 38. 12. as Ezekias did. Grant me (O my God) to mourn and sorrow more for my sins, then for my sickness, for through my sins, thy Gospel hath been blemished, thy glory impaired, thy Spirit grieved, good men offended, and evil men emboldened. O gracious Father, forgive me, & grant unto me, both pardon of my sins, and power against my sins: Psalm. 19 12, 13. Matth. 6. 12, 13. O subdue sin and Satan speedily: thou hast promised to tread Satan shortly under all our feet. Ro. 16. 20 Reign thou wholly over us, and suffer Satan no longer to subdue us, to Mar. 6. 10 Rom. 7. 23. 24. captivate or to imprison us: Break off his bolts, hale me from his holt: draw me from his dungeon. cant. 1. 3. O draw me unto thee and we will run after thee: Father of Heaven hear me, and make speed to help me. O grant me grace, henceforward (if I live) always to adorn Tit. 2. 10. thy glorious Gospel, that heretofore I have blemished, to Mat. 6. 13 augment thy glory that in time passed I have impaired: to cheer Re. 3. 20 cant. 4. 10. 11. up thy Spirit, that heretofore I have grieved Ephes. 4. 30. cant. 5. 2. Esay 7. 13. Esa 7. 13. : To glad the godly, whom heretofore I have made heavie-hearted, Psal. 119. 136. 139 2. Pet. 2. 7. 8. and to reclaim others from evil, which heretofore I have emboldened unto evil. 1. Cor. 8. 10. Rom. 14. 21. Luke 17. 1. 2. Mar. 9 42. And forasmuch (O gracious Father) as thou hast promised to strengthen us upon our bed of sorrows: yea to pillow us up, and to make all our bed in our sickness, Psal. 41. 3 and that thou wilt send thy good Angel to deliver us, when no hand can help us Ps. 34. 7. : O therefore perform this thy sweet and gracious promise: Let now thy power appear in my weakness: 2. Cor. 12. 9 to the praise of thy rich Eph. 2. 4. mercy: in Christ our Saviour: even so be it, even so, Amen. REVEL. 5. 13. Praise, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the Throne, and unto the Lamb for evermore. Amen. FINIS.