MY LADIES LOOKING GLASS. WHEREIN MAY BE DISCERNED A WISE MAN FROM A FOOL, A GOOD WOMAN FROM A BAD: AND THE true resemblance of vice, masked under the vizard of virtue.  
By Barnaby Rich Gentleman, servant to the Kings most excellent Majesty.  
Malui me divitem esse quam vocari.  
LONDON, Printed for Thomas adam's. 1616.   

TO THE WORTHILY HONOURED, AND MOST WORTHY TO BE WORTHILY HONOURED, the LADY SAINT JONES, wife to the Right Honourable SIR OLIVER SAINT JONES, Knight Lord Deputy of Ireland.  
Madam, to avoid Idleness, I have betaken myself to those endeavours, that the world will repute to be more idle, than idleness itself; and perhaps some will not let to say, that it had been better for me to have continued idle still, than to ●●ue been thus ill occupied. For it is now accounted sin to reprove sin, and there is no exercise accounted to be more idle, than to reprehend the idle follies of this madding age, that Time hath now hatched up, and are long sithence become so flush and fligge, that they are flown into the world, and they have there nestled themselves amongst the Chickens of virtue, so disguising themselves under the habit of virtue, that they are reputed to be of virtues Brood, and are not easily to be discerned by their plumes, or outward show.  
To discover them therefore, to those that have any list to eschew them, I have composed this looking Glass, which I have fronted in the forehead with the title of My Ladies Looking Glass. Not that it is any thing less behoveful for my Lord, than it is for my Lady to look in; for although women do use their looking glasses, but to espy the deformities of their bodily beauty, yet this looking Glass is composed of a contrary constitution: for this maketh manifest the diseases of the mind, and discovereth the Imperfections aswell of men as of women, that doth behold themselves in it.  
It taxeth the abuses of the time and here is to be seen (though in a few lines) many actual breaches of Gods holy laws. I have presumed to present it to your ladyships protection, and although I know it be not fit for every one to read, that perhaps would winch, if they found themselves to be rubbed: yet your untainted virtues being free from all detection, you may with a clear conscience, and an unbended brow, aswell vouchsafe to read, as likewise to protect, when their is nothing therein contained but justifiable truth; the iniquities of these times being so palpable, that it is as easy to prove, as it is to reprove them. I have not presumed to present these lines whereby to instruct your knowledge, nor, to set down precepts for your Ladish▪ to follow; but knowing your Ladyship how worthily famed, of whom could I make better choice than of a Lady so highly renowned both for wisdom and virtue?  
I might here endeavour your ladyships further praises, and that without either fraud or flattery, but as the unskilful painter, that would take upon him the draft of some rare perfection that were more than ordinary, how well soever he might be furnished with colours, yet wanting art, he might rather blemish than grace the work he took in hand: I will therefore here stay myself, beseeching your Ladyship to pardon his bold presumption, that will rest to do you service during life,  
Your Ladyships, to command, BARNABY RICH.   

TO ALL READERS, EITHER CURTEOUS OR Captious I care not.  
CVrieous Reader, if thou prove so indeed, I would be glad; but if thou be disposed to cavil, I care not greatly: thou shalt but bewray thine own guilty conscience. And I am become to be a little foolish hardy. (And why may I not call it true valiance?) I have Adventured one of the labours of Hercules, to strike at Sin: And is not that as much as to fight with the Hydra? Nay, it is more: for where the Serpent had but two heads starting up, where one was taken off; let Sin but be dismembered of one vicious folly, there springeth up tenin the place of that one, more strange to be seen, and monstrous to behold; this general sickness of Sin is grown so contagious, that it is past recoucrie. It lies at the last gasp, and yet it is more dangerous to prescribe a Remedy, than it is to describe thee Malady. We must not say that the world is sick, nor that worldlings are infected with the diseases of Pride, of whoredom, of Drunkenness, of Swearing, of Swaggering, of Bribery, of Fraud, of Deceit, of Perjury, of Popery, of Idolatry. No, we must not speak of these abominations: we dare not say that sin is sin. And more safety for a man to commit sin than to reprove it.  
I have adventured yet, to Bait the vanities of this madding age at the Stake of Reproach, And I do look myself to be Baited at again, by the whole rabblement of these Slaves of Imperfections▪ but it is no matter, they shall do but their kind, and there best conviction is but Slander: If the better sort accept of it (as I make no doubt) let the rest except what they can, I care not; their invectives are as Impotent as themselves are Impudent. Take this now by the way and so farewell, I never meant to please those that be ill, by publishing in print any thing that is good.   

To the wide world.  
I Sing no Song to please the Formal Fool,  
Nor lull asleep, the vain Fantastic gull.  
I have no skill, nor never went to school,  
To pipe a dance to every Tricked up Trulle,  
That powders, paints, and periwigs her face:  
I can not flatter these in any case.  
I shoot at Sin, I tax none but the bad,  
The Shifting Swain that heaps up pelf by fraud,  
The Bribing Groom, the Drunken Swearing Swad,  
The Shameless quean, the Harlot and the Bawd.  
All these and more too many to be told,  
Look in this Glass, it doth them all unfold.   

MY LADIES LOOKING GLASS.  
TO be often prying, and beholding ourselves in a Glass, it hath been thought rather to favour of vanity and pride than of godliness or piety: yet we have been taught by a learned Philosopher to look in a Glass, and that very often, but with resolution that if we do find ourselves to be fair and well form, we should do fair and commendable actions: but if we do see ourselves in any thing imperfect, we should correct those defects of nature with the beauty of good behaviours.  

What one applies to vice, another may convert to virtue.  By this we may perceive that a looking Glass may be employed to a godly purpose; and what one doth employ to the supporting of vice, another may convert to the exercise of virtue.  
Looking Glasses have evermore been reputed amongst those necessaries belonging to women; I have not heard of many men that have made any great use of them unless in Barber's shops, or in Haberdashers shops; and yet in those Glasses he that is too much prying and beholding of himself, shall oftener spy out the picture of a Fool than the person of a Wiseman.  

Caligula used to look in a glass  Caligula used many times to behold himself in a glass, to see how sternly and how terribly he could frame and set his countenance.  

The nicety of young men in this age.  They are now as common and conversant to men as they be to women: And our young gentlemen in this age are as curious to behold themselves in a glass, as Dame-Folly herself when she is newly tricked up in the Attyre-makers Trim.  

Looking glasses flattering.  Amongst Looking glasses, there be some that be over much flattering, that will make the beholders to seem more young, more smooth, and better favoured than they be; and these sorts of glasses are best of all esteemed, but especially amongst women.  
There is yet an other sort that doth make defects 
Some make defects where none are.  where none are, that will show the round and well form visage to be long, lean, and wrinkled; and these kind of Glasses are little set by either of men or women.  

The nature of this Glass.  I have endeavoured the forming of this Glass, that I hope shall give a true representation, aswell of the perfections as of the defections either of men or women that shall behold themselves in it.  
Yet this Glass by me thus composed, it is not to view any exterior part of the body, but first to grope the conscience, and then by a diligent observation to survey the interior part of the soul: And as I have not fashioned any smooth resemblance whereby to flatter, so I have not forged any deformities thereby to slander.  
I have pictured forth divers representations, not aiming particularly at any man's private person that hath not a guilty conscience to accuse himself: yet I have grasped at abuse, and have strooken at those sins that are so supported and befriended, that I know, will rather become offensive than pleasing to the world.  

The loftiness of sins.  Iniquity, is grown proud, and nestles herself amongst the Cedars, and towers aloft as high as the clouds.  
The sins of this age are become so nice and so queasy that they cannot digest any potion of reproof: men 
Men are unwilling to hear their faults.  are more unwilling to have their sins ransacked, than to have these inveterate and mortal wounds searched into.  
And as the often taken potion never worketh, so the physic of Reproof turns rather to the hardening of their hearts, than to the amendment of their lives. Reproofs are but like Goads that do make beasts but to kick when they be touched with them.  
The world is become old, and now in this later age we have so far overgrown the Rod, that we scorn any correction, or to be controlled either by the rule of God's word, or by any other advertisement, and therefore it is but to knock at a deaf man's door.  

No speaking against sins  They are the vicious only, that cannot endure to hear sin reproved: and who are they but the impious that would bar the freedom of our tongues? these galled backed jades, are those that are so afraid of rubbing: but what will become of this world when we dare not speak against sin for offending of those, that in truth are but the very Slaves of Sin?  

Augustus' thought it necessary for men to find fault.  That good Emperor Augustus was never angry with accusers, but thought it necessary, that where there were store of vices there should likewise be many to find fault: And the Lacedæmonians thought it a necessary point of policy that there should be such Reproovers, whereby to reprove enormity in those for fear of worldly shame, that otherwise neither remorse of conscience nor any fear of their Gods could have reftrained or kept within compass.  

Pasquil's pillar why prohibibited.  And Pasquil's pillar was tolerated in Rome to reprehend all sorts of sins till they touched the Pope and his clergy: but they cannot endure now that their sodomical sins should be reputed for faults, but will rather rejoice in their abominations, making vaunts of their Adulteries, of their Fornications, of their Blasphemies, and their Drunkenness, taking as great pleasure in the boasting of them as they did in the acting.  
He that doth avow Pride, Drunkenness, Adultery, Swearing, and Blasphemy to be damned sins, is sooner derided than beloved.  

Sin grown malapert.  The Iniquities of this age are not ashamed to show their faces, they walk the streets more partly and bold, than either Honesty or Innocency.  
Sin was wont to walk in fear, but now men are so far from being ashamed, that as they make no conscience to commit evil, so they boast of that evil they have committed; And will again defend what they have boasted.  
But as they do glory in their own shame, so their end is eternal damnation.  
Though our own consciences will take no notice of our own iniquities, yet our sins do cry out and complain in the Audience Court of Heaven, where they press into the presence Chamber of God: And to our confusions they cry out for justice. And he will not spare for ever, but as he is lust so he must strike.  
Our consciences are so deaf and dull, in these days of our lolitie, what with the loud noise of Music, sometimes of Gaming, sometimes of Carowzing, sometimes of Oaths, sometimes of quarreling, sometimes of Blaspheming, that we cannot hear the Preacher cry out, That all flesh is grass.  

The fearful condition of the time.  We see at this present hour, how Sin is lifted up: and what leagues and conspiracies there are against those that be honest, that hath the fear of God before their eyes; and doth reprehend the follies of the time. The jews, that had thought to have nailed Christ to the Cross, they proudly cried out, If he be the Son of God, let him save himself. And how far hath this voice escaped us now in these later times? Are not those that doth live in the fear of God, reputed to be but the shame of men and the reproach of the people? have they not said: Let them trust in the Everlasting: and let him deliver them, and take them out of our hands, if he would their good? Is not God himself had in derision & made a byword? do they not multiply their blasphemies against his holy name? have they not said, Let us do it boldly, God doth not see it, the Almighty is asleep, he cannot hear it? at the least they do not let to think God doth not regard it, and some will not let to say, there is no God to regard it; from whence else proceedeth this swearing, this pride, this blasphemy, this drunkenness, this adultery, but that they think the seat of God is void, or that he is become regardless? But he that hath made the ear, shall he not hear? he that hath framed the eye, shall he not see? and he that judgeth the nations, shall he not convince?  
Let them know, that the Everlasting neither sleepeth nor slumbereth, but they shall find in the winding up, that he will cause his judgements to return in justice.  
The Devils do tremble to think of the day of judgement, these do but deride it, when they be put in mind of it: the custom of sin, hath so benumbed our senses that we feel it not, but after the infection of sin, follows the infliction of punishment. Security hath no resting place but Hell.  

Angry fault cinders.  It hath been told me, that I have already incurred the displeasure of a great number, for some lines by me formerly published, inveighing against pride, against drunkenness, against adultery, but especially for writing against popery.  
But those that doth tax and torture me with their tongues, they are not any persons of any great account, 
What they be that are angry,  they are but drunkards, adulterers, and other vicious livers: the most of them (indeed) poor ignorant papists, whom I do rather pity than any ways despite: but as the Philosopher, that suspected the uprightness of his own carriage, when he heard himself to be commended by a man that was noted to be of a loose and a lewd conversation: so, understanding what they be, that doth thus detect and deprave me, I do hold myself to be better graced by their discommendations, than if they would set open their throats, to publish forth my praises. For amongst all the slaves of imperfections, the Liar and the Slanderer, doth least of all offend me, because I know, that a thousand I mputations injuriously published by a thousand detracting slanderers, are not half so grievous to a man of wisdom and judgement, as one matter of truth 
A dangerous time.  avowed by him that is of honest life and reputation. But is not this a fearful time, when iniquity doth so reign and rage, that the wretches of the world would still wallow in their wickedness, without impeachment or contradiction, but especially the Papists, that are themselves so busy and so repugnant to the laws, both of God and the ‛ Prince? first the Pope with his Bulls, with his Indulgences, with his Pardons, with his Dispensations, with his Absolutions, 
The holy works of Papists.  with his Priests, with his Jesuits, with his Ministers, of all sorts and of all professions, that are still conspiring, that are still practising, with poisons, with pistols, with stabbing knives, with Gunpowder trains, that are still repugning, that are still perverting, that are still seducing, and drawing the hearts of the people, from that duty and obedience, they do owe to their sovereigns; nay, that doth draw so many poor souls to destruction: for although all sorts of sins did never so much abound, as they do at this hour, yet of my conscience, 
The Devil much bound to the Pope.  the Pope himself doth send more Christian souls to the Devil; and Hell is more beholding to the Pope's Holiness alone, then to all the rest of those ugly Monsters, that are called by the name of the seven deadly sins.  
But what sinner so intemperate but will himself confess in general, that all sorts of sins were never more inordinate, and that wickedness and abomination were never more apparent, and I might say again never les punished? The Adulterer will cry phough at the loathsome 
Vice deriding vice.  sin of Drunkenness, the Blasphemer will swear the usurer is a most damned creature, the Extortioner will laugh at pride, and make himself merry with the Folly of new fashions.  
Thus every vicious liver can one deride an other, but they cannot endure to hear themselves detected; and they will laugh at the very same imperfections in an other, that they cannot see in themselves, neither will they believe any other that should inform them of them.  
But I tell thee thou man or woman, whatsoever thou be that disdainest to hear thy wickedness reproved, thou art fallen into temptation, and thou art in danger of a judgement: he that is fallen into that Lethargy of 
A dangerous sickness.  sin that he neither feeleth himself nor will endure to be told of it, is in a dangerous plight, he is past recovery.  
There is no sickness so dangerous as that which is least felt: and as he that feeleth not his sickness, never seeketh the Physician, so he that feeleth not his sin never careth for repentance; and he that hath no remorse to repent can never be forgiven: for how should Christ forgive him his sins that will never acknowledge them? but if the sins of this age doth not make work for repentance, they will make a great deal of business for the 
Work for the Devil.  Devil.  
Forbear than thou captious Slave of sin, to complain against those that do complain against thee: 
Pitiful spectacles.  when we cannot turn our eyes on neither side but we shall see some roving with boldness, some raving with madness, some reeling with drunkenness, some rioting in wantonness, some cursing with bitterness. They have made a sacrifice of their souls to the Devil, they neither fear nor reverence God, but esteem all godliness as a mockery; they do but play with religion, and do but deride at Divinity itself: all will censure, none will amend, yet many will cry out the days are evil, when they themselves do help to make them worse and worse. If we have a little verbal devotion, be sure it is mixed with actual abomination. But they will say, it only belongeth to the preacher to reprove sins, but not fit for every particular person to meddle with.  
We cannot wear a garment in the new fashion, says one, we cannot drink a pot with a good fellow, says another; we cannot fortify our words with the credit of an oath, says a third: but every Fool will be shooting of his bolt: every Critic companion will be girding at us: busying himself with that which becomes him not to meddle with. It is truth, there are many will go to Church, 
Religious in show.  they will not miss a Sermon, they have their Books carried after them, they are very attentive, they turn over leaves, they consent to the preacher, they say his doctrine is good, they pretend great love to the truth, they make many signs and shows of zeal: but being once returned to their own homes: what reformation or amendment of life? do they not live still as if Heaven and Hell, were but the Fictions of Fools, and that the threatenings denounced by the preacher against sin were but dreams and old wives tales?  
The prophecies, pronouncing the punishment of sin, they are esteemed but as Cassandrias riddles, they are not regarded: And what is it but the unbelief of that doctrine, that the Prophets, the Apostles, and that Christ himself have delivered, that thus armeth the wicked with boldness to sin?  

Religion but made a staale.  The word of God is not regarded, and if sometimes they do take the Mask of religion, it is but when piety becomes their advantage: virtue may now and then be set forth to the show, but it is but as a Staale, to draw into the Net of villainy.  
The preachers of the word, which are the Fishers of Souls, they fish but now introubled waters, they may fish perhaps, and catch a Frog, or peradventure light upon a Cuttell, that will vent forth ink; but if their Nets do sometimes enclose, yet they are seldom seen to hold a Fish that is great & mighty: he that seeth this & can not sigh, is not a witness but an agent: and he that can see this without compassion, is like a Nero, that can sit and sing, whilst he sees Rome a burning.  

We must exhort one another.  The Apostle willeth us to exhort one an other, and not for once and so away, but daily. Heb. 3. And in the 19 of Leuit. it is expressly set down: Thou shalt plainly rebuke thy Neighbour, and shalt not suffer him to sin. And there is none but a Cain, that will deny to be his brother's keeper.  
But is not every man tied aswell by the rule of God's word, as by the laws of every well governed common wealth, not only to reprehend, but also to inform against any person, that either by word or deed shall seek to eclipse the honour or dignity of his Prince? If we owe this duty to a King here upon the earth, how much are we further obliged to the King of Kings, to the King of Heaven? shall we see his laws despised, his name profaned, his Majesty blasphemed, and shall we be silent and hold our peace? Qui tacet consentire videtur, to hear and see and say nothing, is to make ourselves a party.  
But we dare not do our duties for displeasing of those that have already bequeathed themselves to the Devil: for offending a Drunkard, for offending an Adulterer, for offending a Blasphemer: for offending a Papist. From hence it is that vice doth now sleep in that 
The security of the time.  security, that Philip's Boy that every day cloyed his master with the clamour of mortality, is not able to awaken it: but thou that art so a sleep in sin that nothing can awaken thee; assure thyself thou shalt be so awakened that nothing shall bring the a sleep.  
I have hitherto spoken of the custom of sin, how it hath weakened our spirits and lulde us a sleep in the cradle of security: I do appeal from your drowsy lusts to your awakened consciences whether I have spoken the truth or nay. If I should now speak of the antiquity of sin, and should therewithal take upon me to deliver the manifold afflictions that from time to time, and from age to age she hath drawn from the judgement seat of God, to punish the enormity of wickedness here upon the earth, I might enter into such a labyrinth, as Theseus' clew would hardly suffice to wind me out.  

The effects of sins.  It was sin that first secluded the Angels from the joys of heaven: it was Sin that drove Adam out of Paradise. It was sin that caused the inundation of the whole world, It was sin that drew on the tempest of Fire and Brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrha, It was sin that brought destruction on that holy city of jerusalem, It is sin that at all times and in all ages hath played the Strumpet through all the parts of the world, and hath filled the whole face of the earth with her brood of bastards. And as the Armies of the Low countries are compounded of English, of Scots, of French, of Spanish, 
The sins of all nations brought into England.  of Italians, of Germans, and of all the nations of Christendom collected and gathered together: so the sins of all those countries and of all the world beside are every day engrossed and transported into England. We have stolen away the pride and ambition of the Spaniard, the fraud and falsehood of the French, the deceit and subtlety of the Italian, the drunkenness and swearing of the Germane: we have robbed the jew of his usury, the barbarous Sicilian of his rage and cruelty, the Turk and Infidel of his infidelity and unbelief; we have spoiled the Venetian Courtesans of their alluring vanities, to deck our English women in the new fashion: and Rome that sometimes hath been worthily renowned, but now reputed to be the very sink of sin, we have brought from them their idolatry, their superstition, their popery, their heresy; and we have robbed the Pope himself and all his college of Cardinals, both of their luxury, and their lechery; and all his whole rabblement of Monks, Friars, and Massing Priests, of their beastly Bawdry. This propagation of sin, that hath infected the whole world with their abominations thus transported into England, are now there resident and all entertained, not like strangers, but as natives that had been both borne and bred in the country.  

The wantonness of sin in this age.  And that old hag Sin herself, that a man would think should be so far spent in years and overworn with age that she should be passed trimming, is more propagating at this present hour, than she was five thousand years ago; and is become more wanton, nice, and toyish then ever she was before.  

Sin a known Strumpet become a Lady.  And notwithstanding though from the beginning she hath been notoriously known to be a most infamous strumpet common to all, yet now within these very few years one of these poor thread▪ bare knights Sir Nicholas New-fashions by name, that had so wasted and consumed himself in foolish pride and prodigality, that he was not worth the clothes that was belonging to his own back; hoping by her means to support his vain glorious pride, hath taken her to be his wife, and hath made her a Lady.  
And although sin of her own nature and disposition be both proud and presumptuous more then enough, yet now being dignified with a Ladyship and being inrould in the heralds book to march in the Lady's rank, she is become more bold and insolent then ever she was, and who now but my Lady New fashions that is had in esteem? she is almost every day troling in her Coach about the streets, insinuating herself into every company; there is no feasting, banqueting, reveling, nor any other merry meeting, but my Lady New fashions is a principal guest.  
When she meeteth and converseth with Ladies and Gentlewomen, some she teacheth to paint themselves, some to powder their periwigs, some she doth corrupt in manners, making them to be like herself, Bold, impudent, 
The Lady New-fashions a Strumpet, a Bawd, and a Witch  immodest, some she induceth to play the Harlots.  
For as she herself hath been a common Strumpet from the beginning, so she hath been a notorious Bawd and a Witch, and those women, that she cannot enchant with her Siren tongue, those she infameth by lying and slandering.  
And who is it but this old Beldame Sin, now bearing 
Sin setteth a work all sorts of Tradesmen.  the name of the Lady new fashions, that setteth a work these new fangled Tailors, these Body-makers, these Perfumers, these Imbroderers, these Attire-makers, and all the rest of these inventors of vanities, that are the instruments of sin, that doth enforce their whole endeavours to fit her in her follies, and to deck and adorn her in her pride and wantonness?  
The number, is almost without number, that doth both serve her, and will likewise seek to defend her, Artificers, Tradesmen, Shopkeepers, Men, women and children, are all depending upon her: and as Demetrius, the silver smith, in the 19 of the Acts, incensed the people against Paul, telling the Craftsmen, that he went about to diminish the dignity and reputation of their great Goddess Diana, which if he should bring to pass, their gains would likewise quail that got their livings by those works belonging to herself and to her great Temple in Ephesus: and as these persuasions stirred up the multitude in those days, so he that in this age doth but open his lips to speak against sin, shall want no accusers, not only to reprove him, but also to reproach him.  
Sin doth neither want silversmiths nor Goldsmiths, to serve her with plate and garnish her with jewels, that will call him Fool that will but speak against her excess.  
Sin hath her Silkemen and Mercers, that doth serve her of lace, silk, satin, velvet, cloth of silver, cloth of gold, that will say he is a Critic that will inveigh against her pride.  
Sin hath her Merchants, that will transport the commodities behoveful for the common wealth, into foreign countries, and will return back again toys and trifles; that will say he is but a satirist, that will detect her vanity.  
Sin hath her Lawyers, that will bring him into the star-chamber for a Libeler, that will speak against her Bribery.  
Sin hath her Proctors, that will cite him to the Commissaries Court, and make him do open penance, that will speak against her whoredom.  
I might yet speak of women, whereof a great number that are not to be detected with any bodily abuse, that would yet sharpen their tongues to chide at any man that would reprehend those enormities, that sin by custom had engrafted in them.  

A godly admonition to Ladies and Gentlewomen.  But I would I could now admonish Ladies and Gentlewomen, that amongst all the creatures of Gods handy work, I do acknowledge to be most excellent, here upon the earth: but as the finest cloth is most aptest to take a stain, so their mild dispositions inclined to all compassionate love and courtesy, are soon led astray, and most easiest to be seduced. And this old Hag of Hell, this loathsome Lady Sin, with her glazed eyes, her painted cheeks, her new-formed fashions, and her enchanting tongue, doth so bewitch and blindfold their understandings, that when they think they converse with an Angel of Light, they give entertainment to a Monster of Hell; but when Sin shall present herself to their new awakened souls, in her true form and shape, and begins once to play the makebate between God and them, and their own consciences to testify between them and themselves; then they shall see to their own sorrow, what Saint it is that they have served, they shall then perceive to their great horror and grief, that this darling of theirs so dearly esteemed and beloved, will then be most busy to affright and afflict them.  
I would, I could wish therefore, (and with a reverent regard I do entreat them) that they would bethink themselves of their own happiness whilst they have time, and not to do as that foolish gentlewoman, that never remembered to say her prayers till she heard it thunder.  

Women more excellent by nature then men.  But some will say, And why women, more than men) because as women are more flexible, and therefore more apt to be seduced to ill, so they are more tractable again, and therefore more easy to be induced to virtue.  
Men are composed of an uneven temperature of the elements, together with the malicious influence of the planets, prefiguring them to be sturdy, stubborn, froward and overthwart; but women are by nature of a more excellent metal, their hearts are more soft and yielding, and themselves more pliable to all virtue and goodness.  
There is more possibility to reclaim ten ill living women, to a conformity of a better life, then to reform one misliving man.  
Would they now bethink themselves, when they look in their Glasses, that there is no Forehead heeled so graceful (amongst many women) as that which the Prophet jeremy termeth to be graceless, the Forehead, that is past shame and cannot blush: let them therefore fall a chiding at their own resemblances, beginning first with 
I speak this but to those women that be wise & do fear God▪ More then would serve ●o▪ good women that feared God.  the Forehead, and say, o thou proud and shameless Forehead, the very Chair and Seat of pride: where thou shouldest be decked with a Crown of Glory, thou art clouded and overshadowed with a monstrous Map of Hair, no less offensive to the Majesty of God, then ugly and deformed in the sight of all good men; be ashamed therefore of thy intolerable pride, and by thy humility, and submissive lowliness, reconcile thyself again to thy God, whom thou hast so highly offended.  

wandering Eyes.  Descending then a little, say yet again, o you wandering and lascivious Eyes, the attracters and drawers on of lust and sinful thoughts; you that were first created to be the Deemers of my Discretion, but now become the Dimners of the insight of my Soul: forbear your wont trains of light and wanton glances, seek now with bitter tears, to bewail your former follies, and lifting up yourselves to Heaven, ask grace and mercy.  

I hope all this will offend no women that are good.  Proceeding thus, you may yet reprove the Tongue that is more apt to speak ill then good: the Ears again that are ever more set wide open to vanity, but still shut up to good counsel or godly instruction: And so we may say of all the rest of our necessary and natural members, that are displaced of their ordinary courses: for being first created as the Ministers of the Soul, are now become the Disturbers of our Innocency.  

How women should use their glasses.  This external beauty of the body, so much esteemed of amongst women, when they behold it in a Glass, it should stir them up a far off to display the majesty of the Creator, and from thence should pass with the wings of their cogitations to the contemplation of the highest Fair, which is the invisible beauty of the Almighty God, from whence as from a Fountain, all smaller Rivers derive their beauties.  
It is said that Africa, bringeth forth every year a new Monster, the reason is, that in the deserts of that country, the wild and savage beasts, that are both diverse in nature, and contrary in kind, will yet engender the one with the other: but England hatcheth up every month a new Monster, every week a new Sin, and every day a 
Monstrous fashions every day hatched up.  new Fashion: our Monsters are not bred in the Deserts, as those in Africa, but in every Town and City: where they are so cheerly fostered, & so daintily cherished that they multiply on heaps, by hundreds and by thousands. It were not possible for me now to set down how this monstrous generation thus hatched up by Sin, hath been from time to time procreated and brought into the world, one sin still begetting an other.  

The genealogy of sin.  Pride the eldest daughter of Sin, was first Spaund in Heaven: she was from thence expelled; but she drew after her a great dissolution of Angels. It was pride, that begat Contempt in Paradise, where there was no Apple in the Garden so well pleasing to Eve, as that which God had forbidden her.  
It was Contempt that begot Malice, And Malice again begat Murder, when Cain killed his brother Abel.  
As the sons of men increased in the world, so Sin began to multiply so fast, that God repented him that he had made man.  
To purge the world of her abominations, the Deluge came, and all were drowned, except eight persons. After the Flood, amongst the sons of Noah the generation of the accursed Cham, became to be great and mighty upon the earth; at which time Sin was grown again to that strength, that she began on the sudden to play the Rebel, and with a tumultuous assembly gathered together in the plains of Shinar, she began to fortify herself against Heaven.  
Amongst those Giants, then reigning over the face of the earth, that greedy Cur Covetousness, which the Apostle termeth to be the root of all evils, was (amongst a number of other monstrous sins) fostered up by Ambition.  

Covetousness the parent of many sins.  Covetousness, was the first parent of Oppression, Extortion, Bribery, Usury, Fraud, Deceit, Subtlety: and that common Strumpet Idolatry, was a bastard borne of this brood.  
Idolatry had issue, the Lady Lechery, who in process of time, became so conversant with the Pope and his Cardinals, that they procreated amongst them that loathsome sin of Buggery.  

The varieties of Iniquities.  It would be a matter of impossibility for me to set down the varieties of those sins that are hatched up in these days, when so many new fashioned iniquities doth swarm, both in City, Town, and Country; that were our bodies but half so diseased with sicknesses as our souls be with sins, it could not be avoided, but that some strange and unheardof mortality would ensue. The time hath been, men would mask their vices with cloaked dissimulation from the eye of the world, but now iniquity is set forth bare fast, without any mask of preteires to hide her ugly visage.  
They sought to cover their sins from the open show, we have so little shame, that we never seek to shelter them: our Ancestors were but bunglers at vice, they had not the wit to grace a sin, nor to set it forth to the show; they could but call a Spade a spade, a Green Goose a gosling, a professed Broker, a crafty knave: we are become far more exquisite, we can make an Owl a Hawk, a jack Naaps, a sheep, an old Milne Horse, a palfry for a man of honour; we can call Impudence, Audacity, Rage, Courage, Wiliness, wit, Obstinacy, Constancy; and Lewd Lust, Pure love.  
Our wits are become more capering than they were in times past, our conceits more nimble, and ready to find out new tricks, new toys, and new inventions, as well of follies as of fashions.  

Sin thinks scorn to be reproved.  But what remedy? pride thinks scorn to be reproved or to be told of her faults, she is grown so stubborn and so stately.  
Swearing swaggers out admonition, and will not be reproved.  
Whoredom and Drunkenness, hath so hid themselves in the Maze of vanities, that repentance can nowhere fiinde them out.  
Rage & Fury are produced as arguments of valour, where the Lie shall be given but upon the speaking of a word, & the Stab again returned, but for the giving of the Lie: where not to pledge a Health, is a ground good enough for a Challenge, and the taking of wall, made a heinous matter, whereby many times murder doth ensue.  

Three shrewd witnesses.  But sinners have three shrewd witnesses to testify against them, the Devil, the Law, and their own Consciences: but if here upon the earth a man's own conscience condemns him for his sin, how much greater shall be 
The glory pride.  the judgement of God? The glory of pride as she passeth through the streets in this age, doth so far exceed, that the eye of heaven is ashamed to behold it. And those blessings which God hath given us in great measure, we consume in pride, and wantonness, and like Swine we beslaver the precious pearls of Gods abundant plenty, converting them by our excessive pride, into dearth and scarcity: and this wickedness ariseth not from Turks, jesuits, Heretics, and Papists, but from the professors of true Christianity, and even now in the hottest Sunshine of the Gospel: we have neglected Heaven, to dote upon the vain pleasures of the earth, and have forsaken God, but to wrap ourselves in the excrement of worms; a little guarded and garnished with the mineral of Gold and Silver.  
How many that are not able to pay honestly for homespun cloth, will yet wear silk, and will every day glister in Gold and Silver? the soul goes every day in her working day clothes, whilst the body keeps perpetual holiday, and jets up and down in her several suits.  

The effects of pride.  How many again are so eager of superfluities, that all their racked rents in the country are not able to discharge the Shop books in the City, when there be that will spend as much as some knights be worth, but in a pair of Garters, and a pair of Shooestrings?  
It is pride that hath banished Hospitality and good house keeping.  
It is pride that raiseth the rents and rates of all things universally.  
It is pride that breadeth our dearth and scarcities:  
It is pride that impoverisheth City, Town and country.  
It is pride that fills all the prisons in England, and brings a number to the Gallows.  
It is pride, (if it be not prevented in time) that will make a hangman's room in reversion, to be a good suit for a gentleman that hath honestly served his Prince and Country: for howsoever he may shift for meat and drink, he shall be sure to want no clothes.  

A happy age.  It was a happy age when a man might have wooed his wench, with a pair of kids leather Gloves, a Silver Thimble, or with a Tawdry Lace; but now a velvet gown, a chain of pearl, or a coach with four horses, will scarcely serve the turn; she that her mother would have been glad of a good Ambling Maare, to have rode to Market on, will not now step out of her own doors, to cross the other side of the street, but she must have her coach.  
It was a merry world, when seven or eight yards of velvet would have made a gown for a Lady of honour; now eighteen will not suffice for her that is scarce worthy to be a good Lady's laundress: we are grown from a petticoat of stammel to clothe of silver, cloth of gold, silk stockings, and not so much as our shoes, but they must be embroidered with silver, with gold, yea and sometimes with pearls.  
I have spoken of pride indifferently, how it enforceth a like both men and women▪ it is pride that draweth after it such a daily innovation of new fashions, that I think they have found out whole Mines of new inventions, or they have gotten the Philosopher's stone to multiply, there is such a daily multiplicity, both of follies and fashions.  
Vitellius in his days searched far and near for the varieties of Nature, but we have harrowed Hell in these days for the vanity of new fashions, and (I think) we have found them out; for he that had as many Eyes as Argus, were not able to look into the one half, that are now followed and embraced aswell by men as women. The Prophet Esay in his 3. Chapt. maketh mention of many strange engines belongeth to women: he speaketh there of ointments for their lips, of cawls, and round attires for their heads, of sweet balls, bracelets, and bonnets: of tabiletes, earrings, muffelers, wimples, veils, crisping pings, glasses, lawns, and fine linen.  
These and many other vanities belonging to women are there numbered up: but if the Prophet had now lately, but walked one turn through the Royal Exchange in London, he would have been put to his shifts to have 
Strange invented vanities.  made a true repetition of the new invented vanities, that are there to be seen; and this would more have troubled him more than all the restt, hat when he had heard them called by their proper names, he could never have understood whereunto they had belonged, without the help of a chamber maid.  

The devils Ingeny.  Some will say that these new invented vanities came first from hell, and I would be loath to excuse the devil himself in the matter, that I know is very ingenious, and is every day devising of new engines, and (I think) doth keep an attire-makers shops, whereby to attempt and allure 
Credible and true though strange to be believed.  both men and women, to sin: but this I dare assure myself, that our Ladies and Gentlewomen in these days are so exceeding in their attires, and so deformed in their fashions, that all the Ladies and Gentlewomen that be in hell▪ did never wear nor see the like.  
There be many both men and women, that to follow the new fashion, hath marred that fashion that God himself hath form.  

We mar that fashion that God hath made to follow our own.  I protest I have many times been heartily sorry, to see some women, whom God and Nature had adorned with beauty, with perfection, and with comeliness of parsonage, that have disguised themselves in that sort, with the deformities of fashions, that of amiable and lovely creatures, they have transformed themselves to be most deformed and loathsome monsters.  
There is a decorum to be kept (but especially amongst women) in attiring of themselves; for that attire that is comely for a round well-formed visage is as unseemly again in her that hath a little, a lean, or a long face: but as every shoe is not fit for every foot, nor every medicine to be applied to every malady, so every fashion, doth not befit every person, nor every colour agree with every complexion. The woman therefore that is wise, will fit herself with such a fashion, as may add comeliness to her own proportion: but mine intent is not here to instruct women how to adorn themselves to the show of the world, when there is no ornament so precious wherewithal to beautify a woman, as is the beauty of a good and godly behaviour. This one instruction I will yet leave to those that are desirous to follow the fashion: their is not a greater enemy to all complexions, either in men or women, then is this found fantasy of yellow starched bands, and therefore 
A most ridiculous folly.  as it is a certain argument of vanity, so there can not be a more ridiculous folly. The woman shall not wear that which appertaineth to the man, neither shall a man put on woman's raiment: for all that do so, are abomination to the Lord thy God.  

A precept from God neglected.  A precept left unto us by the Almighty, Deuteronom. 22. But the young man in this age, that is not strumpet like attired, doth think himself quite out of fashion, and the young woman again, that as well in her behaviour, as in the manner of her apparel is most ruffian like, is accounted the most gallant wench: and I know not what to say, or whether I should accuse men, for suiting themselves 
The little difference that is used between men and women in their apparel.  in women's apparel, or whether I should accuse women for suiting themselves in men's apparel; but this is certain, that their hats, their feathers, their bands so bestitched, so beedged, so belaced, and in their ridiculous banbeles, sir named picadillies, yea and in their gowns to, they are so suitable and like in fashion, that there is no more difference to be seen, then is between a horse shoe, and a Maares shoe.  
We are better known the one of us to the other by our faces, than we are by our virtues, and yet we are better known by our follies, than we are by our faces: but if we did not look asquint at the matter, we should find, that as we have provoked the wrath of God by our strange and new fangled fashions, so he hath in a sort requited us again, with as many strange and unknown diseases, almost every year with a new kind of sickness, such as our physicians are no less ignorant of the cure, than they be of the cause from whence proceeding. And what is it 
The new found out folly of taking tobacco.  now, but the custom of new fashions, that hath foisted in that Indian plant Tobacco? that till now of late was never known but amongst Indians, Barbarians, and such infidels as did every day adore and worship the devil, but it is now so entertained amongst us both in England and Ireland, that all the nations in Christendom beside do laugh at our folly.  
If it were but half so precious as a number would persuade, I think the people of other parts of Christendom could look into it aswell as we, neither amongst ourselves could it be so much desired in such generality, for the multitude was never inclined yet greatly to embrace virtue, or to like of any thing that were good.  
But some will say, I do want matter to quarrel with that will be finding fault with the sovereignty of Tobacco, that is so much admired, and therewithal, so generally received.  
I confess it maketh drunken every day in the week, the whole rabblement of panders, parasites, bawds, Brokers, knights of the post, Ostlers, Tapsters, Tinkers, Tailors, Cobblers, Costermongers, and the whole generation of Drunkards, cut and long tail, one and other: and I do look that all these will censure me from the Tribunal of their Alebench. Now for that old proverb, sometimes avowed by them that will cry out The more the merrier, yet let them know that the multitude of such guests, shall add to the horror of miseries. But yet to blemish and to make dim this my Looking Glass, by belching out their stinking vapour, they will speak of Knights, Gentlemen, old men, young men, wise men, learned men that do all use to take it, and will likewise defend it.  
I know there be Knights and Gentlemen both, that do vent more smoke out of their Nostrils, than they do out of their kitchen chimneys; and old men and young men may be led astray, the one through dotage, the other too much inclined to follow the fashion: but for those that are accounted to be so wise and learned, that will stand so much in the defence of their Tobacco, Cardinal Bellarmin will do as much in defence of the Pope, and in the approbation of his Idolatrous Mass.  
Shall we then deny the physicians testimony, will not his authority suffice in the matter?  
Give me leave to answer Master Doctor thus; I will enforce against his Philosophy, that which can not err, and that is the experience which many ages hath taught 
Experience much better than Master Doctors opinion.  us: that before Tobacco was ever known in England, we lived more free from all manner of sicknesses, than we have done sithence: and let them look yet again to the time now present, there be a number that never meddied with Tobacco, in their lives, do they not live in more perfect health then those that do take it fastest? if they do not see this, they are but blind Doctors, & some will say that an ignorant Physician is the worst of all diseases, and God bless me and my friends from his physic that will prefer his own skill before a known experience.  
But they say Tobacco is physical: the greater their folly that will then take it too fast, when the best physic accowted best indeed, is to take no physic at all unless upon urgent occasion, but he that taketh physic every day, can never have a healthful body.  
Well, yet they say Tobacco is of an excellent operation for the drying up of Rheums, Dropsies, and of all other moist humours whatsoever: as good a medicine picked out for those diseases as he that poured on oil to quench the 
Tobacco used but to draw dowue drink.  fire, when Tobacco is but made a shoeing horn to draw down drink, when every pipe must have his pot, and when both pipe and pot must still walk the round, and march together arm in arm, as lovingly as the Whore and the Bawd.  
But here is now a virtue picked out that cannot be denied, we see it with our eyes what water and Rheum it bringeth up, and maketh us to spit in that abundance, as must be very wholesome to be so avoided; but if the virtue of Tobacco be so precious because it will make a man to spit & too spawl, learn this of me; thou that so much desirest 
The loathsomeness of Tobacco.  to drivel & to slaver, take but one dram of the abstract that is drawn out of a Close-stool; it shall go further for that purpose then a whole ounce of the best Tobacco that ever came out of the West Indies, be it pudding or leaf.  
Let me entreat the gentle reader a little to pardon me, though I somewhat stray from the bounds of modesty, it is but to express one loathsomeness by another.  
I cannot tell what reverent terms I might use to deliver their rude incivility, that whilst they are taking their Tobacco do so spit and spawl, drivell and slaver, in that loathsome and unmannerly sort, as were enough to make either man or woman to turn up their stomachs, especially if they were such as had been trained up in civility, or had any regard of cleanliness. I know not therefore 
The Tobacconist and the Drunkard fit companions.  whether of the twain I might condemn to be most loathsome and beastly, whether the common Drunkard, or the Smoke taking Tobacconest, the one vomits up his draff when he is drunk, the other slavers out his drivel when he is sober; a sight as unlovely to look on the one 
Tobacco sophisticated.  as the other: but if Gentlemen did know what sophisticated stuff it were that they did buy at so dear a rate, I think some of them would be better advised; we might else conclude that draff were good enough for Swine, and that a Barley corn were fitter for Esop's Cocks then a precious stone.  
The Tobacconist yet hath this special virtue, when he hath bestirred himself well to his Tobacco-pipe, he will be more thankful for a penny pot of drink than he will for a twopenny loaf of bread.  
It is not without some special cause that I do thus inveigh against Tobacco, when for mine own part I am not so squeamish but that I can aswell endure the loathsomeness of the sight, as the filthiness of the stink: but if it were advisedly looked into and well considered of, we should find that the mass of treasure that is yearly blown out of the Tobacco pipe, would suffice to give royal pay to an army of forty thousand Soldiers, either for the 
A piteous expense.  service of the King, or the defence of the country if need should so require: or might rather be employed to many other charitable uses, now in this miserable time, then to be so vainly consumed and spent as it is.  
I refer it to the judgement of any man that hath but the grace or fear of God before his eyes.  
Now to set down mine own conceit what I do assuredly believe, from whence it should proceed that the English above all the nations in Christendom beside are so much inclined to dote on this stinking smoky vapour: I think it to be an engine of the Devils own devising, who by his ministers hath thus dispersed this misty hellish fog to stir up sin and wickedness, and in that place above all the rest where true religion doth shine most bright, and the word of God hath freest passage.  

The enormities that be drawn in by Tobacco.  Let us but now a little look into the enormity: it is Tobacco that consumeth that wealth that might be employed to many godly uses.  
It is Tobacco that in every Tavern, Inn, and Alehouse, is now as common as any Courtesan.  
It is Tobacco that Harlot like holdeth in society, the base and rascal sort of people, and containeth them as well in idleness, as in drunkennsse.  
It is Tobacco that maketh the poor Artificer to spend that at night, that he hath laboured for all the whole day, whilst his wife and poor children do sit at home without bread.  
It is Tobacco that maketh a rich man a poor man, a poor man a stark beggar, a wise man a fool, an old man to dote, and a young man to admire his own ignorance.  
It is Tobacco that draweth to drunkenness, from drunkenness to swearing, from swearing to quarreling, from quarreling to stabbing, kill, and murdering.  
It is the excessive taking of Tobacco, that hath hurt a great many, and of mine own knowledge hath killed some outright.  
For him that will yet oppose me with his own experience, and will tell me what himself hath felt of the virtue of Tobacco: I will entreat him to pardon me, though I give no better credit to his words than I do to the Papist, that will protest in good earnest that he hath found himself to be better assisted by his prayers to our Lady, than he hath been by the power of our Lord, and will not let to swear that a Pope's blessing is enough to preserve him from all the Devils in Hell, that will not so much as protect him from the poor Hangman.  
The Devil that hath so many superstitious conceits wherewith to blindfold the Papist, is not unfurnished of vain impressions wherewith to be sot the Tobacconist: to conclude, he that can take Tobacco, drink Bottle-ale, play an after game at Tables, and wear a Picadilly, is a complete man fit for the time, and pleasing to all companies.  
I have thus presented to your view, first the true picture of pride, together with the folly of New-fashions, amongst the which this inordinate taking of Tobacco, as it is the most vain, so it is the most loathsome. I would now give you a little glimce of that accursed cur Covetousness, and of some one or two of those whelps, that are crept out of his own kennel, namely Bribery and Usury; for the rest that be of the same litter, as oppression, extortion, exaction, and a number such other like, I may let them yet sleep till fitter opportunity may serve to awaken them. They say it is not good to awake a barking dog, but these be all biting curs, that sheep-biter like, do every day raven and worry the whole Commonwealth.  

Of covetousness.  Covetousness is the cur, that devoureth his own Actaeon▪ it is the Charybdis, that greedy gulf, that swalloweth up all without respect either of friend or foe, either of virtuous or vicious: it is the Canker of the Commonwealth, that eateth up the gettings of the poor.  
It is the viper that poisoneth the ears of Princes, teaching them to set aside all just and honourable dealing.  
It is Covetousness, that thinketh nothing to be unlawful, where either gain is to be begotten, or gold to be gathered.  
It is Covetousness, that maketh no conscience in gathering of gold, nor spilling of blood, holding nothing to be unlawful that bringeth in gain.  
It is Covetousness, that eateth up the means, that the poor have to live by, and that reaves the sweat from the Labourers brows.  
The covetous wretch heapeth together abundance of wealth, with pain, with travel, with perjury, with oppression, with usury, with extortion, with wronging their neighbours, with the curse of the poor: which they leave again to their unthrifty heirs, no less prodigal in spending, than their fathers were miserable in gathering.  
Covetous persons (amongst all other) are most pernicious to be admitted to the administration of justice; for by how much more they be advanced to greatness, by so much the more they are accursed of the poor people, and daily vengeance denounced against them▪ by as many as do but hear them spoken of.  
The covetous miser is then most ready to devour, when he makes semblance of greatest love and amity, and when he begins once to give precepts of good counsel, his advise is then most dangerous, for if it bring not poison in the mouth, be sure it brings a sting in the tail: o what pains the miser will take, but to conjure a little money into the narrow circle of a canvas bag, he thinketh that the Angels of Heaven are not comparable to the Angels that be in his purse.  
I think if Hell were a place of return, and that either gold or gain were there to be gotten, more triple headed dogs then one, were not able to defend the entry.  
Mammon is a great God, and he is honoured by no base persons; he is served by the rich and reverenced by 
Bribery in great estimation.  the mighty. Bribery is a bird of the same wing, though not so great a God as Mammon, yet mightily befriended, defended and supported.  
But as a man that hath change of names, is seldom found to be honest, so a Bribe that is sometimes great by the name of a gift, sometimes of a present, sometimes of a 
Bribery disguised.  gratification, sometimes of a Benevolence, doth so slily pass from hand to hand under so many names and titles, that Bribery indeed, is hardly discerned.  
Under these names and shows Bribery many times preiudiceth the service of the Prince, perverteth good Laws, and armeth all sorts of sinners with boldness to offend.  

Many sins boulstered out by bribery.  The laws and ordinances that are sometimes decreed in Cities and Towns corporate, for the common good of the inhabitants, Bribery so dissolveth them, as if they had been ordained to no other purpose but to bring in gifts and rewards: and God forgive them their sins that will say, their be many institutions, ordained (indeed) amongst 
Laws ordained but to bring in bribes.  these inferior sort of town magistrates, rather to bring in bribes, then to punish abuse.  
Bribery many times standeth in the door of greatness, and sometimes helps up injury to the place of audience; but he that hath but a bad matter to follow, bribery, is the man, that must first do his message: for he that hath art and skill, to know both how to give and take a bribe, he hath the only approved medicine, to pass through any affairs that are possible to be effected.  
There be many notes whereby thou mayest know a briber, for all his cunning counterfeiting, but take these few for the most special: he loveth still to be near about a magistrate, or at the elbow of any other great person in place and authority, and if you mark him well, he is ever more encroaching, to creep into an office, and if you miss him in any of these places, you shall lightly hit upon him amongst some of the Clerks, that are belonging to some of the four Courts.  
I would be glad now to present to your view, the true picture of usury, but there hath been question made of 
Usury.  usury what it is; some would have it to consist only in the letting of money: but if we could aswell understand 
What usury is.  the spiritual, as we do plod at the literal, there was never more occasion to exclaim against usury, then at this present.  
But it is written, Thou shalt not give thy money to usury: therefore to extort, to exact, to oppress, to deceive, by false weights, by false measures, by lying, by flattering, by perjury, or by any other manner of deceitful villainy: they think it honest trade and traffic.  

Whether all these be usurers or nay.  The Landlord, that racketh up his rents, the Farmer, that hoiseth up the market, the Merchant that robbeth the Realm, the Shopkeeper, that buyeth by one weight and selleth by another; the Baker flatly cossineth the poor, in every loaf of bread, that he buyeth to fill his belly; the Brewer that is no less deceitful in the measure of his cask, then in the price of his beer; the crafty Tradesman, the deceitful Artificer: what are all these and many 
If no usurers, then arrant thieves. A question demanded.  other more that might be here inserted, if they be not usurers, what are they but arrant thieves?  
And I would here crave the censure of Divinity, whether he that will not sell but for excessive gain, whether he that selleth upon trust, and will therefore hoist up his commodity to the higher prizes; whether he that will not lend upon a pawn, unless he may buy it out right to the great hindrance of the party that selleth it; whether he that takes advantage of his neighbour's necessity either in buying or selling; whether he that purchaseth his neighbour's house or living out of his hands, whether he that buys an office thereby to paul and pill, whether he that doth take excessive gain, or excessive fees, whether these or such other like are to be accounted usurers, or nay, and whether all these things thus mentioned and spoken of are not as fit to be reform, as the usury in lending of money?  

I speak now of Dubline.  There be some that have done their endeavours for the reforming of usury: but now, as the Apostle saith, The law speaketh to them, that are under the law, Romans 3. so I speak now of the place where myself was resident at the writing of these lines, namely, at the city of Dubline in Ireland, where money being scant, and where there be no lender's but upon good security, and profit both together; yet in Dubline (as in all other places) men are driven upon necessary occasions (that have not money of their own) to borrow of others that have to lend, though they sometimes pay dearly for it; whereupon some well disposed persons (stirred up by a godly zeal) began to inveigh against usury, wherein without doubt, they honestly discharged their duties towards God, but the usury that they so much reprehended, was only the use of lending of money: when pretermitting now to speak of the excessive gain that is encroached by shopkeepers, and by all other sorts of Tradesmen that do live by buying and selling: I dare boldly avouch thus much, that all the Usury, and Extortion, 
The extortion of Bakers and Brewers, piteous to be suffered.  or call it what you will, that is used by Bakers, and Brewers alone, is ten times more grievous and especially to the poorer sort of people, than all the interest that is taken for the letting out of money.  
But they only denounced against the letting of money, and they did it no doubt but according to the rule of God's word, for the lending of money to use is directly forbidden by Gods own mouth, and therefore sin; but the inconvenience that I do find is this, Usury is reproved, 
Usury reproved, but not truly defined  but it is not defined but according to the letter, whereupon the great Usurers indeed, that do think that in their trade of buying, and selling, the gain of one hundred pounds for an other a great deal too little, and that howsoever they can defraud or exact by bargaining, they do think themselves to be very honest and true dealing men; and that this prohibition: Thou shalt not put thy money to usury, doth nothing at all concern them; and as they suppose, it stretcheth no further than to the lending of money, when many great Divines have given their opinions, that as in that petition give us this day our daily bread: all our other necessaries are there comprehended; so in those words, Thou shalt not give thy money to usury: all other excessive gain, is likewise included.  
To this agreeth the opinion of that ancient Father Saint Hierome, who writing upon the Prophet Ezekiel, 
Usury defined  delivereth these words, Some think that there is no usury but in money. This did the holy Scriptures foresee, and therefore taketh away all excessive increase or gain in any thing.  
What should I need to bring any further testimony in this case, when there is no learned Divine that did ever deny it? I would not have men therefore to flatter themselves too much, or to think themselves more honest than they be; for he that taketh excessive gain in any thing, is as great a usurer as he that dareth out money: but he that hath the most corrupted Lungs himself, will soon complain of the unsavoury breath of others. And who will be more ready to exclaim against usury than he that is himself the greatest usurer?  
Usury needs no more but the bare name to make it hateful: the Ribald, the Robber, the Thief, the Murderer, the Drunkard, the Whoremaster, the Swearer, the Blasphemer, they all cry out against usury; they that are of noreligion will yet plead religion, and bitterly rail at him, that dareth money to use: he that hath no conscience at all, will yet pretend a conscience, and will exclaim against the usurer: when if he did but look into his own impiety, or if his own faults were written in his forehead, he might pull his cap over his brows as low as his neighbours: but whilst they would bereave the usurer of his interest, they themselves would rob him of his principal.  
I would not have any man to think that what I have formerly spoken is in the defence of usury, that I know at all times, in all places and by all good men, hath ever been condemned.  
I am now come to figure forth a sin that in a certain kind hath some affinity with usury, and that is that monstrous 
Of Murder.  sin of Murder: for as he that in bargianing, buying, & selling, can by any fraudulent or deceitful means, cirumvent, or so over reach his neighbour to make him pay for a commodity three times more in value than it is worth, yet this he accounteth to be no usury, nor any manner of crack to his credit or reputation; but doth think it to be Merchant-like, or Tradseman-like traffic, and will in no wise acknowledge himself to be an Usurer: so the malicious wretch that by practice and by policy seeketh the utter wrack and ruin of his neighbour whom he doth malign, so long as he layeth no violent hands on him, he thinketh himself to be no Murderer at all.  

Of Murder as it is determined by Christ.  When the High Priests by subtlety brought Christ to Pilate, and by false accusations procured his death, they thought themselves to be clean and pure.  
Pilate again, when he had delivered Christ to be crucified, washed his hands, and pronounced himself to be innocent: but our Saviour Christ in the fifth of Matthew, hath there determined the matter, both what Murder is; & who is a Murderer; his words be these: Ye have heard how that it was said, to them of old time, kill not, for whosoever killeth shall be in danger of judgement. But I say unto you, whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of judgement; and whosoever saith to his brother Racha, shall be in danger of council, but whosoever saith to his brother, thou Fool, shall be in danger of Hell fire.  
The pharisees that had corrupted the Scriptures with their false glosses, interpreted this place: he that slayeth shall be guilty or in danger of judgement, that is to say, if a man commit a Murder, his act is enough to testify against him, there needs no more but to pronounce the sentence of death: this text did the pharisees extend no further than to kill with the hand, or to murder by stroke or dent of weapon; but our Saviour Christ restoring again the true sense, avowed flatly, that a man to be angry 
Who be murderers by God's Law  with his brother, is to murder him, and deserveth death, for the Law is not so much respecting to the hand, as to the heart.  
But this is a hard saying saith the malicious, but yet a true saying, as Saint john in his first Epistle, & 3. Chap. plainly affirmeth, that he that hateth his brother is a Murderer.  
But now actual Murder indeed findeth friends, and to kill a man▪ though sometimes cowardly, it is rather reputed for Manhood, then for Murder, or will be found but Manslaughter or Chance-medley: and there be that 
Cowardly Murderers.  can tell how to murder a man with a Pin, better than they know how to do with a Pike, and dare adventure to murder him with a word, that they never durst look in the face with a sword; but these sorts of Murderers are not to be taxed, when murder in former ages hath been known sometimes to sit roabed in Scarlet, and when 
Cruel Murderers  histories do make mention of some merciless Magistrates, that hath murdered more poor suitors with their Currish answers, than the Hangman of London did ever strangle with his Hempen halter.  
To conclude, as amongst Usurers, those that do offend by the letting out of money, are the fewest in number, so amongst Murderers, the number is far more greater of those that doth both slay and slaughter by their merciless cruelty, then are the other that do most bloodily commit murder with their hands.  
But see here a monster in nature, that presseth now to show himself in my Glass, a common Drunkard, the very dregs of double Beer, and strong Ale: amongst men a Beast, and amongst Beasts a very Swine.  
A Drunkard is called the King of goodfellows, but it is but a drunken kind of good-fellowship, when amongst all sorts of friends, a drunken friend is most to be detested and abhorred.  
A drunken friend is the worst friend that may be, for in his drunkenness he discloseth all that he knoweth: the Drunkard dissolveth all his gettings into the pot, and drowneth all his virtues in the Ale-Fat: he is not fit to be employed in any good or godly exercise.  
There are three things that are not to be credited, a Woman when she weeps, a Merchant when he swears, nor a Drunkard when he prays.  
But it is accounted now to proceed from a generous spirit, to be drunken once a day, and they have gotten conjurations, and enchantments, whereby to draw on drunkenness.  

Charms to draw on drunkenness.  A health to the King, a health to the Queen, a health to my Lord, a health to my Lady: And who dares deny to pledge one of these healths? they will scarcely avow him to be a good subject, that will deny to pledge the King's health: as though the king were honoured by a company of drunken sots, that will make themselves beasts, under the pretence to do the king honour. It is like the honour the idolatrous papists do give to the virgin Marie, who in a superstitious zeal do attribute that to her for honour, that being well examined, is her greatest dishonour.  
These Art-Magicke Charms, that do draw on men to power in more than they are able to bear, if it be not vomited up again by the drunkard himself, it is yet spewed out of the soul of him that doth behold it with an honest conscience. The Prophet Esay in his third chap pronounceth an endless woe unto them that are mighty to draw down drink, and as their end is damnation, so their damnation is without end.  
But see, here comes in the adulterer, with his harlot in his hand; but they must needs go (they say) that the Devil drives, and there is no hope to keep out whoredom, where drunkenness her gentleman usher hath free and quiet passage to lead the way.  

Whoredom hath many friends and favourites.  Whoredom hath many friends in these days, a number of favourites, that giveth her boldness whereby she insinuates herself into the world.  
Solomon tells us, That the plague is in the house of the harlot, and that she sits in the doors of her house on a seat in the high places of the city.  
Whoredom scorns to be closed up in any obscure place, no, she hath friends to bolster her out, and to support her in the highest and most principal places of the city.  
Harlot's now adays; do not lurk in by corners as thieves are wont, nor in secret chambers, as strumpets have been accustomed, nor in close closets as conspiring Papists, when they be at their Mass; but she frequents the principal places of the city, where she gives entertainment to those that comes unto her, that are not of the basest sort, but many times of the best reputed: but they do not know, saith Solomon, that the dead are in her house, and that her guests are in the depth of hell. And wilt thou yet enter her house, that carries death and damnation about her? beware 
A true description of a harlot.  of her, thou that art wise; she first enticeth, and then she killeth, she woos thee with her eyes, for in these days eyes can both speak and understand, and the harlot baits her desires, with a number of prostituted countenances whereby to allure and entice.  

Nothing more true.  As the harlot destroyeth his soul that doth frequent her, so she is a plague to the flesh, more infectious to the body then the common pestilence, and carries more diseases about her, then is in an hospital.  
And as the known whoremonger, is but of a rotten reputation, 
A reward fit for whoremongers.  so he is most commonly as full of loathsome diseases; or let it be that God sometimes doth suffer whoremongers to live, till they may struck there grey and hoary hairs, yet they never escape the filthy diseases of botches, biles, aches, inflâmation, & of that loathed disease of the french pox, a little gilded over by the name of the gout, or sometimes of the sciatica: & besides a corporal stroke of heavens heavy hand in this life, the whoremonger shall feel the fearful addition of an eternal woe in the fire of hell.  
The harlot is like a new play, that being thrice presented on the stage, begins to grow staale. And the harlot that is 
These old antiquities are little set by.  once past thirty five years, is fitter to furnish an Hospital, then to garnish a bed chamber. The proverb is old, A Pope's Bull, a dead man's skull, and an old trull, are not all worth a pound of wool: marry there is some comfort yet left to a harlot, when she comes to years, for an old whore will make a spick and span new bawd.  
The best commendations, I can give to a harlot is this; she brings a man to repentance in the end, though not for his sins, yet to curse the time that ever he knew her.  

Harlots of two sorts, the first a stain to good women.  Harlot's be of two kinds, the one induced the rather unto it, by the currish demeanour of an unkind husband: or sometimes enforced to play the strumpet to relieve her want, o (perhaps) to uphold her pride: these kind of harlots are very secret, in all their carriages, & will make choice of such friends (as near as they can) as shall conceal all their escapes, and maintain their reputations in the eye of the world.  

The second a limb of the devil.  A second sort there be that setting aside all fear of God, or shame of the world, doth surrender themselves to whoredom, through the vicious heat of there own intemperate desires: these be those that doth live of the spoil of all comers: they consume them in goods, in body, and in soul that doth frequent them. And these are desirous to make themselves known strumpets to the world, thereby to get themselves to be hunted after and sought unto: for these are ready for all that will come, and that they might be the rather noted in their vocation, they do manifest themselves in there attire, in there demeanour, in there audacious boldness and immodest behaviour.  
They will show themselves what they be, at masks, at meetings, at banquets, at feasts, which they will still frequent, but of purpose to seek acquaintance, and to draw in customers.  

The custom o● good women piteously neglected.  The time hath been when a woman that had been once infamed, should have been shunned, nay she should have been scorned of every good woman, and she that had been honest (indeed) would never have endured her company that had been tainted in her credit: but now every marked creature, that is notorious to the world, will insinuate herself into the most principal places, and into the company of those women that are not only regarded for their greatness, but in like manner esteemed for their goodness.  
But I will not take upon me to detect Ladies and Gentlewomen, what company they shall keep, but the old proverb can no longer hold, That birds of a wing will fly together: but alas poor virtue, sul little dost thou know how much thou wrongest thyself, by thy associating thy 
The practice of harlots to slander good women.  self thus with vice, when the practice of a harlot is, that where she knoweth a woman to be most worthily renowned, and most honourably esteemed for her virtue; there she will intrude and press to get admittance, not so much to countenance herself, as to disgrace & discredit the other, bending all her endeavours to diminish the reputation of every good woman, and to bring them into a suspicious conjecture, to be birds all of one feather.  
How many women, both good and honest, (and sometimes 
Many good women defamed by conversing with harlots.  honourable) that by this practice of insinuating harlots, hath been betrayed and infamed?  
And as good women, by their over much kindness and affability, have sometimes thus diminished their own credits: so men that be of place and authority, had need be very wary and circumspect, how they give grace or entertainment to a woman that hath been noted to be of lewd life: for beside, it breedeth suspicion in as many as doth behold it; so it is the rather confirmed, when every harlot is desirous to slander herself with great personages, and the greater a man is either in office or dignity, by so much the more she is desirous to be slandered by him: for she is not ignorant, but that to be accounted a paramour to him that is had in any regard at all, is available for her advantage: and she makes use of it for several purposes: for first, she prizes herself at the higher rate amongst her base companions that doth frequent her, than otherwise she could do.  
Again it shelters her from being called in question, for who dares detect her that they think shall be supported and borne out by so mighty friends?  
It yet again so armeth her with that audacious boldness, that she dares insinuate herself into any company, be they never so honest, that otherwise would spit at her.  

Harlot's better countenanced then those women that be good.  But what woman would be honest now adays, when the worse a woman lives, the better she is thought on: if there be any that lives in want, it is poor chastity, she finds fewest friends, and least countenance.  
He that hath a wife, if she be a little wanton, she is as good as Comminseede, to draw home customers, & there hath been husbands, that hath had discreetion to make use of it; as Phanlius the Argian, who to raise his fortunes, 
A wittal the very shame of manhood.  offered his wife to King Philip: and as Galba, who seeing Maecenas to cast some amorous glances on his wife, shrunk down upon his Cushion, as one oppressed with sleep, thereby to give him the better scoop, whereby he might persist.  
He that can thus tolerate, may keep his wife to ruffle it out amongst the best, without any charge to his own purse, and she will win him many friends, that will bring him in Caates, to the kitchen, fish, foul, wine sugar, spice, The proverb is old, though to make up a Rhyme, it be a little unmannerly: i Blessed be the Hoole, that brings in both 
The proverb old, though something unmannerly.  wood and cool: that helps to pay house-rent, and some money to the good man's purse. Women are wise, and by their sleights they have Emperors idle, as Amthoxy, strong men feeble as Samson, valiant men effeminate as Hercules: wise men dissolute, as Solomon: and eloquent men lascivious, as Aurelius.  
But I hope all that I have said, cannot offend those women that be good, whom I protest, I have ever reverenced, and do still esteem to be more precious than silver or gold, and therefore to be honoured of all good men; but as the Apostle writing to the Corinthians: There must be 
Good women more precious than silver or gold.  Heresies, that those that are proved may be known: so say I, Amongst women, there must be some bad amongst the good; that those that are good indeed may be the more 
With a reverent regard I do thus advise them.  glorious▪ but yet I would wish Ladies and Gentlewomen, that do tender their own credits, to be well advised how they converse or give entertainment to those women that be bad; because if the rules of Philosophy be true, there is not a better mean to discern of men or women what they be, then to measure them by the company that they are accustomed to keep.  
But let us enter a little into consideration, how we might distinguish between a good woman and a bad: we cannot do it by the outward show; for if we should 
A hard matter to judge of women by their outward show.  aim our judgements but according to their looks, we might sometimes think the old painted face of Proserpsna, to be the same that it was, when she first became to be Pluto's wife.  
If we should judge of them but by the show of their apparel, we might many times presuppose the virtuous young woman, to be a lascivious Courtesan; they are all alike attired in their coloured silks, and they do so narrowly imitate the one the other, both in form and fashion, as that they cannot be discerned but only by behaviour.  

Precious things ordained by God to be used to his glory.  I am not ignorant, but that silk, silver, yea and gold itself, were created by the almighty God: and not only for his own glory, but likewise for necessity's sake, and may well be used by good and godly persons, such as are in degree, and of ability to pay for them. We have some precedents out of the holy Scriptures: Isaac a godly man sent Bracelets, and other habiliments of gold to Rebecca, a good and a virtuous woman: and we read of Hester, that sometimes clad herself in rich and sumptuous apparel, protesting before God that she did it to no other end, then to feed the liking of that great King Assuerus, that had chosen her for his wife.  
And judith praised in the Scriptures for a godly woman, though after the death of her husband, during the time of her widdowhoode she suited herself in sackcloth, yet whilst her husband lived, she had been both sumptuous in apparel and rich in jewels and other precious ornaments, wherewith she afterwards decked herself, but of purpose to free the City of Bethulia from the power of Holofernus, that then had besieged the same.  

A woman's garment no argument of incontinency.  It is not the Frock that maketh the Friar the more devout, nor the garments of any woman, a true confirmation of incontinency of her body. This therefore may well be avowed by the rule of Christian sobriety: that a woman 
What is fit for good women to observe.  (neither exceeding the decency of fashion, nor going beyond the limits of her own estate, nor surpassing the bounds of her husband's calling) but that such a woman may wear any thing.  
Silk, silver, and gold, are things iudifferent of themselves, the use is all whereunto they are employed: yet as there is a conveniency to be used in behaviours, so there is a decency to be followed in fashion; neither do I think that all fashions that are now in use, are fit for every good woman to follow.  

gaudy attires by whom first devised.  I am persuaded, that a number of these new invented Gauds that be now in use and custom, were first devised to please the appetites of such women, as were either of loose life or of little wit, & afterwards becoming general, 
Why taken up by good women.  were taken up & reputed for the new fashion: and that many women again, that are both good & gracious, are the more inclined to follow them the rather to avoid suspicion, either that they are not able to support it as other women, be or otherwise to be accounted Hypocrites and contumelious despisers of that which is received by all.  
There is not a woman so vain or ungodly that can devise a toy (be it never so fond and foolish) but it is taken up for a fashion, and then it is as good a warrant as a Non omittas to an under sheriff, for every woman to follow. But where chastity is joined with vanity, what commendations it may merit, I will leave to good women themselves to be censured.  
This I would infer, that the incontinent woman is no so easily conjectured by the outward show, as by the inward disposition.  

Things tolerable.  Do you see her that is sumptuous in apparel, that doth shine in silk, in silver, and in gold, that is decked with Gems, and lewels, that be rich and precious? look into her ability, is she able to pay for them, doth she not exceed the limits of her degree and calling? she useth them then to the glory of God, that hath created them to that end and purpose, to deck and ornifie such worthy persons.  
See yet another that is gaudy to the show, garish to look upon, and new fangled in all the manner of her attire: look yet again into her disposition, is she sober, is she silent, is she bashful, is she modest? let us think reverently of that woman, let us not judge of her by the outward show, she doth but follow the fashion.  

Things not to be excused.  I would I could now frame a cleanly excuse for those women that be Painted, that be Powdered, that be Periwigde; that do bend their whole endeavours but to the adorning of their bodily beauties, as if they had been created of God, but only to make themselves to appear to be gay and beautiful but I know not how to do it, for she that is not ashamed to falsify those exterior parts of the body, is much to be suspected that she will make little conscience to adulterate the inward beauty of the mind. But amongst these women that do so much affect this bodily beauty, tell one of them of some other woman that is reputed to be more wise, more modest, or more virtuous than herself, alas it is a matter of nothing, 
A matter of nothing.  the news doth little offend her; but tell her of another that is reputed to be more beautiful, more fair, or better favoured then herself, this is a heavy cross indeed, 
A matter intolerable.  enough to make her sick, and keep her chamber, and there is nothing that doth more grievously afflict her, then to see another woman's gown, more gaudy than her own.  

Marks whereby to know a good woman from a bad.  But my promise was to give rules how to distinguish between a good woman and a bad, and promise is debt, but I must be well advised how I take the matter in hand; for we were better to charge a woman with a thousand defects in her soul, then with that one abuse of her body; and we must have two witnesses, besides our own eyes, to testify, or we shall not be believed: but I have bethought myself of a couple that I hope will carry credit.  

The testimony of the Prophet Esay.  The first is the Prophet Esay, that in his days challenged the daughters of Zion for their stretched out necks, their wandering eyes, at their mincing and wanton demeanour as they passed through the streets: these signs and shows have been ever thought to be the especial marks whereby to know a harlot. But Solomon in 
The testimony of Solomon.  a more particular manner doth better furnish us with more assured notes, and to the end that we might the better distinguish the good woman from the bad, he delivereth their several qualities, and wherein they are opposite: and speaking of a good woman he saith, She seeketh out wool and flax, and laboureth cheerfully with her 
The properties of a good woman.  hands: she overseeth the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  
Solomon thinketh that a good woman should be a home housewife, he pointeth her out her houseworke. she overseeth the ways of her household, she must look to her children, her servants and family: but the paths of a harlot (he 
The properties of a harlot.  saith) are mooveabl, for now she is in the house, now in the streets, now she lieth in wait in every corner, she is still gadding from place to place, from person to person, from company to company: from custom to custom, she is ever more wandering; her feet are wandering, her eyes are wandering, her wits are wandering, Her ways are like the ways of a serpent: hard to be found out.  
A good woman (again) openeth her mouth with wisdom, the Law of grace is in her tongue: but a harlot is full of words, she is loud and babbling, saith Solomon.  
She is bold, she is impudent, she is shameless, she can not blush: and she that hath lost all these virtues, hath lost her evidence of honesty: for the ornaments of a good woman is temperance in her mind, silence in her tongue, and bashfulness in her countenance.  
It is not she that can lift up her heels highest in the dancing of a galliard, that is lavish of her lips or loose of her tongue.  
Now if Salomon's testimony be good, the woman that is impudent, immodest, shameless, insolent, audacious, a nightwalker, a company-keeper, a gadder from place to place, a reveller, a rampart, a roister, a rioter: she that hath these properties, hath the certain signs, and marks of a harlot, as Solomon hath avowed. Now what credit his words will carry in the Commissaries court, I leave to those that be advocates, and proctors in women's causes.  
I have hitherto presented to your view the true resemblance of a harlot, aswell what she is, as how she might be discerned: I would now give you the like notice of 
The whore of Babylon.  that notable strumpet, the whore of Babylon, that hath made so many Kings and Emperors drunk with the cup of abominations, by whom the nations of the earth have so 
Of spiritual fornication.  defiled themselves by their spiritual fornication, called in the scripture by the name of idolatry, (but now within these last 500 years, amongst Christians) shadowed under the title of Popery. This harlot hath heragents, Popes, Cardinals, Bishops, Abbots, Monks, Friars, Jesuits, Priests, with a number of other like, and all of them Factors and her Bands, the professed enemies of the Gospel of jesus Christ, that do superstitiously adore the Crucifix, that are indeed enemies to the Cross of Christ, and do tread his holy blood under their scornful feet: that do build up devotion with ignorance, and do ring out their 
The doctrine of the Pope.  hot Alarms, in the ears of the unlearned, teaching that the light can be no light, that the Scriptures can be no Scriptures, nor the truthcan be no truth, but by their allowance, and if they will say, that high noon is midnight, we must believe them, and make no more ado, but get us to bed.  
These be they that can make God the creator that made both heaven and earth, of a little piece of bread; this 
The God of the Papists.  doctrine they do teach, and this the poor ignorant Papists must believe, and zealously say Amen to: but alas, their pretended holiness in zeal, is indeed but the hollowness in zeal, and the fullness of that zeal wherewith 
The blindness of Papists.  they be so blinded, ariseth through the emptiness of that knowledge which they will not see.  
If blindness be a misery, what is ignorance, or if the duskiness of the night be uncomfortable, what is the darkness of superstitious Popery?  
A Papist and a Tailor are of like affinity, they do both rely on their good works: their faiths do hang on other 
A papist and a tailor of some affinity.  men's beliefs, they do exercise all their religion by an exorcizing Mass, accounting the old & new testaments, to be but books of controversies, holding it to be a peremptory sacrilege for any lay-man to meddle with; they think they may see more by a wax candle when it is lighted, than they may do by the light of God's word: they say they be good subjects dutiful and loyal, and yet what a wrangling they do keep with the Prince for his supremacy?  

Things unpossible.  The hound that followeth two hares at once can catch neither, and he that serveth two masters of contrary kinds, must be a traitor to the one. As much possible to unite two contrary religions in one conscience, as to reconcile fire and water, Christ and Beliall, God and the Devil.  
If the Pope court in the conscience, and sit in the Throne of the heart, the King can have there but a cold entertainment. He was wise therefore that turned his 
A wise part.  guest out of doors, that could warm his cold hands with the same breath, wherewith he cooled his hot pottage.  

The double dealing of Papists.  The Papists have mouths for their Masses, tongues for their Prince, and hearts for their Pope: but let them say what they list, and let them sometimes bind it with an oath, the Pope hath taught his vermin a new doctrine of equivocation, and of mental reservation: and he hath dispensations in store, not only for infringing an oath to a King, but also for the murdering of a King, if he be such a King as doth profess the Gospel.  

The Pope's power.  If the Pope's penance chamber were opened, we might find a rate of pardons for all offences that might be committed either against God or man, those only excepted, that may be any ways prejudicial to himself; nay, you shall find indulgences for future offences, for sins that are not yet committed.  
Christ forgiveth no sin, but upon hearty repentance: 
A happy thing for richmen  the Pope forgiveth all sins only for ready money; a happy thing for rich men that may buy heaven for money: but the devil in the mean time, is like to be basely attended on in hell, with a company of poor beggars, that are not able to buy pardons, nor to purchase dispensations.  
The Pope shutteth up all goodness into his own 
The Pope's charity.  waare-house, God receiveth us now no more to mercy, but he receiveth us to penance, to plunge us in purgatory, where we shall lie scorched and broiled, till the Pope in his charitable disposition, will mercifully release us: which he is ever ready to do if we have ready money to give him.  

Angry Saints.  And for the Saints, they are become very tyrants, malicious and vengible, if their eves be not fasted, their images worshipped, and their Shrines visited, with a Candle, or with some other offering; they will else wreak themselves of us without any compassion, & will both punish and grievously afflict us: so that there is no mercy remaining in God nor in his Saints, but all resteth in the Pope alone. Do not the poor Papists run mad in conceit, 
No mercy but in the Pope.  to think that Indulgences for all sins, may be derived from the Pope's Exchequer; that if a man wants not money, 
The mad conceits of Papists.  he needs not want heaven: that the mere sign of the cross, can fray away the devil; that priests should be licenced their concubines, and inhibited there wives: that one Benefice, and one honest wife, should be unlawful, but that two Benefices, and three whores should be tolerable?  

The Pope's votaries.  But let us a little consider of these holy votaries that have vowed obedience, that have vowed poverty, that have vowed chastity: what is their vowed obedience, but an exemption of all obedience, either to God or man, to serve their Pope alone? what is their vowed poverty, but to enjoy the wealth of the world, to live in ease and idleness, and to feed themselves fat? and now to speak truly, what is their vowed chastity; but vowed Bawdry?  

The grounds of Popery.  The efficient cause of Popery: it first springeth from a blind zeal, it doth vaunt of true religion, and attributeth a certain virtue unto things without God's ordinance.  
The Pope himself steals his ceremonies, from jews, from Turks, from Pagans, some from Idolatry, all from Heresy.  
Popery could never endure the preaching of the Gospel, and there is neither Turk, jew, nor Pagan, whatsoever, 
The hatred of Papists,  that the Papists do so much hate, as they do these Heretics that do seek their salvation in the death & passion of jesus Christ: we pity them, they persecute us, we pray for them, they pursue us, we love them, they loathe us, we seek to convert them, they seek to confound us; they pursue us, not for that we are sinners, but because we are zealous of the glory of God, & of sincere & pure worship: they hate us not because of our offences, but because of that will and desire it hath pleased God to give us, to serve him purely according to his word; they seek us not out for our abominations and Idolatries, but because we detest theirs.  
Thus they hate us, but it is with a contrary hatred; for they hate us because we do seek the glory of God according to his word, of the which they would dreprive us.  

The true picture of a Papist.  In a brief manner now to show you what a Papist is: he is blind in knowledge, lame in judgement, self conceited, apt to believe lies, he is wilful, obstinate, he is wise and holy in his own conceit, walking in the steps of other men's opinions; he cannot believe that God understandeth any prayers but those that are made in latin: he thinketh there is no other high way to heaven, but that which leadeth through purgatory. Amongst all the Beasts in the field he loves a Pope's Bull, but amongst all the Herbs in the garden he cannot endure that which the Apothecaries do call Gratia Dei: his eyes are dimmed, his ears are stopped, his heart is hardened, his senses are benumbed, he is so afraid of rusting, that he doth use to scour himself with ashes and oil: he is so zealously inclined to the deeds of love and charity, that he had rather murder a Protestant on Sunday, then eat an egg on Friday.  
If I should still prosecute as I have begun, to present to your views the true representations of vice and vanity, as they do offer themselves to open show, I might compose such a Looking-glass as were fitter for a Barber's shop, than a Lady's chamber: I will therefore give you but a little glimce of those deformities, that are yet to follow.  

The Flatterer  The Fatterer was never yet ashamed to show his face, yet in former ages palpably to flatter, was accounted but the profession of a knave: but now vain glory doth so sway amongst us, that he that wants a knave to flatter him, can play the Fool and flatter himself.  
A Parasite seeing Dionysius in private discourse with certain Favourites of his own, burst out into a great laughter, but being demanded by Dionysius why he laughed so loud? answered, At your majesties pleasant conference: why (said the Emperor) dost thou hear our communication? no (said the Parasite) I do not hear your speeches, 
A notable Flattering Knave.  yet knowing your words to be always full of wit, and all your discourses so pleasant and pithy, it produceth me to laughter, but to see that speech, though I hear not any thing what you say.  

Flattery and Tobbaco two violent purgers.  Flattery and Tobacco, are but two smoky vapours, yet as the time serveth, the one purgeth wise men of their wit, and the other Fools of their money.  
The Flatterer is nearly allied to the Cannyball, they do both feed on men; the difference is, the Cannyball feedeth on those that be dead, but the Flatterer devoureth those that be alive.  

A dangerous Parasite.  The Court Parasite doth more often subvert and overthrow the wealth of a Kingdom, than an open enemy.  

jestmonger  But see here another bird of the same wing, a jestmonger, a kind of creature that a man would think, Nature had hatched up into the world, to be a scorn to all wisemen:  

uncivil jests  His most pleasant mirth is uncivil jests, and for want of better matter, he will sometimes help it out with a bawdy song.  

Stolen jests.  Some wanting conceits of their own, are driven to commit felony, and to steal from other men, and putting them in execution, the effect may so well fall out, as it did with Esop's Ass, who counterfeiting the little Dog, would play with his master, till he was surely banged.  
There be some of them that will steal sentences, and phrases out of books, which having once committed to memory, when they be amongst company, they will deliver them as familiarly as if they were children of their own begettting, both lawful and legitimate.  

audible jests.  There be amongst them, that will break jests upon Heaven & sometimes make themselves merry with God that created Heaven: another will sport as pleasantly with the word of God▪ as he will do with the fictons of the Poets one will avow a villainy, a second will swear it, a third will defend it, and all the rest will laugh at it.  

No jest without a Fool and a Flateter.  It is not worthy to be called a jest, where there is not a lester, and a Parasite to cheer up the Guests, the one to rail and slander, the other to smooth and flatter: for as the body must be balanced with excess, so the mind must be recreated with slavish delights.  

The Temporiser.  The next that now maketh his appearance, is the Temporizer; a fellow that can carouse with Alexander, abstain with Romulus, eat with the Epicure, fast with the Stoieke, sleep with Endymion, watch with Chrysippus, laugh with Democitus, weep with Heraclitus.  
He is like a Windmill, that will still grind, let the wind blow where it will: he never troubles himself about matters of Faith; for look how the Prince believes, so believes he.  
He hath some pretty sight in music, and is very apt to play a base part, and although sometimes he may fail in the Note, yet he will be sure to keep the Time.  

The Formalist.  Here comes now the Formalist, a fellow that is full of compliments; one that doth use to frequent other men's tables, and can make sauce to every dish as it comes to the board, with other men's discredits: he never drinks to any man, but with some quick conceited sentence, and not a word but at your service sir, at your command, at your pleasure; and in all his communication, so full of Fustian phrases, that do many times lay open their Master's ignorance.  
This over much affectation is more ridiculous than mere and simple ignorance, the one is to be pitied, the other to be denied: but the Formalist taketh great pains to make himself to be mocked at▪ all that he endeavoureth, is to be reputed a flower of courtesy▪ when by his demeanour he shows himself to be a right spectacle of folly.  

The Fantastic.  Here follows now an other, that one pair of couples might serve them both, it is the fantastic, one that is so near a kin to the fool, that they cannot marry without a licence from the Pope: he hath robbed a jack Naapes of his gesture, mark but his countenance how he mops, how he mows, and how he strains his looks: he hath the French Congé, the Spanish Baselos Manes, the Italian shrug, his countenance is the true description of the time.  

The Nynnyhammer.  Will you see now, one that is new come from the dancing school, a Nynnyhammer, that had rather tread you out a trick of one and twenty follies, then to perform one action, tending either to virtue or wisdom.  

His observation.  He thinks boldness to be a principal part of virtue, and that makes him to become impudent: his greatest observation is about the New fashion: his ambition is, to be highly commended, but especially by fools, fiddlers, and 
His Ambition.  tapsters: his greatest dexterity is in the managing his Tobacco pipes: 
His Dexterity.  and he hath the gulp, the whiff, and the snuff very exactly and at his finger's ends.  

His skill in Astronomy.  He is very judicious, in censuring of plays and players, and is well seen in the high Art of Astronomy, and without the help of an Ephemerideses, he is able to calculate the whole number of Bawdy houses, that be near about his own lodging, in what temperature they be seated, and whether they stand in a hot or a cold Climate.  

Special notes whereby to know him.  You shall know him partly by his feather, partly by his long lock, that hangs dangling by his ear, partly by his garters and his roses, but that which comes nearest the mark indeed, is his yellow starched band. Will you now make a little room for a fellow that perhaps can tell you 
The Newes-monger.  some News, and it is the Newesmonger himself, that can acquaint you with all the occurrence, from Italy, from France, from Spain, from Germany, from the East, from the 
Good news for Tyrones' well-willers in Ireland.  West, from the North, from the South: he can tell you news from the Pope, how he means to give assistance to the Earl of Tyrone, of men, of money, of munition, of shipping, and of all other r essaries, and to send him into Ireland, new sanctified a●●ngst his friends, that hath long looked for him, and do daily wish for him, and alas are like to do so still, to their great grief and sorrow.  
These Newesmongers be those that from time to time do spread such reports, as doth sometimes arm the ill disposed, 
Papists are very credulous.  with vain and frivolous hopes, but especially the Papists▪ that are so strong of faith, that they will believe any lie, be it never so vain or foolish, if it doth any ways serve their purpose.  
And as the Newesmonger is not without Art sometimes to spread a lie, that is of his own coining, so by some prery skill that he hath in Arithmetic, he can both multiply and divide lies, that be of other men's making.  
He useth to frequent fairs, markets, and other places of aslembly: sometimes he will stumble into a Barber's shop: but about ten of the clock in the forenoon, you may hit upon him in the middle walk in Paul's: but from aleaven to twelve, he will not miss the Exchange.  
These be the places, from whence he makes his collections, and if there be any news at all stirring, he pockets them up for his own provision, and he never vents them but for his own advantage, for he knoweth that men are so well inclined to have novelties, that they are as good payment for a dinner, or a supper, as eighteen pence to go to an ordinary.  
Here comes yet another, a fit companion to march in one rank with the news monger, it is the state ape: a 
The state ape.  man that will take upon him to know more than he understandeth: he speaks of nothing but of matters of state and what laws are fit to pass and repass by act of Parliament; and in the Parliament time, he makes himself as conversant with all intents and plots, purposed for the Commonwealth, as if they had been of his own begetting.  
And what Ambassador can be sent from any foreign Prince or Potentate, but before he hath delivered his message, or before he hath put his foot in at the court 
A wonderful prescience.  gate, but he will tell you, both what his errand is, and what shall be his answer, if a man will believe, what himself will make vaunt of? there is not a Court counsel holden, 
The malcontent.  but he will seem to know whereof they have consulted, and what they have concluded.  
I think I do but pester your eyesight with presenting to your views these vain prospects; but a man may the better learn to eschew vanity, by learning first to know it: here is yet one other of the same strain, a malcontent, a right cornish Diamond, that although a counterfeit, would yet be set in gold.  
He is singular in his own conceit, and will sometimes withdraw himself into retired places, for bearing speech and conversation, reproving the vanities of the world but with a word, and the manners of the people with a shrug, or a countenance, giving answers with signs and dumb shows, pacing his steps, with sad and sober aspects, as if he would have it said, Lo, yonder goes the melancholy gentleman: see there virtue and wisdom both despised and neglected, this is the man that doth carry a whole Commonwealth in his head, that can manage the whole affairs of a state, and that is able to draw the world about by the nose in a string.  
His very gate, as he passeth along the street, cries Look upon me: and although to some men's thinking he is but a man, yet in his own opinion, the wisest of men.  

Swaggerers and quarrelers.  I will not trouble you with these angry fellows, that will swagger, and be ready to give the stab, sometimes for the pleasure of a harlot sometimes for the speaking of a word, sometimes for the taking of the wall: sometimes, for the not pledging of a health. And what a 
Precedence.  stir we keep again about precedence? we strive with Zebed●us children, who shall sit on the right hand, who on the left, we dispute of dignities, who shall go before, & who shall come behind; and as this infection is common amongst men, so it is become so violent amongst women, that they are ready to scratch for their places, many of them, taking their rooms perforce, and will render reasons whereby to maintain their causes: one makes her plea, my husband is an Esquire, and I will give place to none but to my Lady; an other will allege, my husband is a Doctor, and I will therefore march with the foremost: one stands upon her pedigree, and derives herself from some ancient family; an other challengeth precedence by her husband's office, an other by her wealth, by her chains, by her jewels, by her silken gowns, by her guarded petticoat; and they are so eager, and so vehement in these encounters, that if their husbands should once fall a dealing in these quarrels, they could not be determined, without bloody noses.  
But amongst all the spectacles of folly, that we have yet surveyed, he now presents himself that is best worthy to bear the Babble: look upon him, it 
The Amorist.  is the amorist: see how gastfully he looks, his arms crossed, his eyes blubbered, his hat pulled over his brows, and all for love sir reverence. Alas poor gentleman, I do pity him, and I think Dame folly his mistress, would simper to see the fool her servant, how he is besotted.  
I can not believe that ever virtue was known to be a dotard, in that we call love.  
I have heard of some that have been mad for love, yet I never heard of any that were wise in love: I have read of courageous men, that love have made effeminate, yet I never read of any whom love hath made truly valiant; I have known where wise men hath been besotted by fancy, but I never knew where fancy made a wise man.  
In love what seeth the eye, lasciviousness, what heareth the ear, lasciviousness: what uttereth the tongue, lasciviousness: what thinketh the heart, lasciviousness: what incurreth the body lasciviousness: and call you this love, no, it is filthy lust, that marcheth under the banner of love.  
The folly of affection is wonderful, but the indiscretion of an Amorist is more admirable, that will hang the whole estate of all his fortunes in a woman's word, but in the yea or nay, of his light heeled mistress.  
To conclude, I never heard of any of these loving worms, that was ever besotted of any woman that was famed for her virtue, yet if the brains of my Amorist be not barren, they will sometimes hatch out Rhymes, and learn to indite amorous verses in the praise of his mistress 
The folly of Amorists.  (that is many times scarce worth the speaking of) and will borrow colours from lilies and red roses to beautify her cheeks, her eyes shall be sapphires, her lips, coral, her teeth, pearl, her breath, balm, a Pallas for her wit, but he never strains so far as to her honesty; women have ever been witty, but now more wise than they have been in 
The wisdom of women in this age.  former ages, they ever knew well enough how to make use of one of these amorous gulls, that they saw did affect them (indeed) with an ardent desire: for they would make him to hold the Candle, whilst they had an other, that should offer to our Lady.  

A new way to woo.  But now adays there is a newer way to woo, then for a man to spend a whole month together in making of love: he that will win a wife now (though he be but Sot, a Dolt, a Fool, an Ass, let him be never so silly, or never so simply, if he hath but so much wit, as to make a great and a large jointer, he shall speed, and he 
The next way to win.  shall get a wife when a wise man shall fail.  
I could here find in my heart to blame some parents, that will bestow their well nurtured daughters on such persons, they do little consider of the fault they commit by bringing their children (sometimes) to a loathed bed.  
But parents do seem to be very careful to provide for their children, and very diligent they be to seek a stay for them; but they do not seek it as they should do, in the hand of God, but in the wisdom of their own foolish flesh.  

She cannot want a husband that doth not want a portion.  I think there is not a woman so unlovely, nor so unnurtured, but if she doth bring a large portion in her purse, she shall have a husband; neither is there so silly a Clown, but if he be able to make a great jointer, he may quickly get a wife: I thank God I have never a daughter to marry, but if I had, and that I were of ability to give bountifully with her, I would sooner bestow my money to buy her a husband that had a little wit, then to buy her a lump of flesh, that is but leapt together in a fools skin. Now for myself, if I were young, & were again to marry, I would bless myself from her that hath been brought up in pleasure, in pride, in idleness, or in audacious boldness: from such a one as is called her father's joy, his jewel, his darling: he that lights on such a wife, had need to light on a good portion with her, for if she doth not bring him a grief to vex his soul, I am sure she will bring him 
The vanity of many young women.  a charge to empty his purse, her vanity will far exceed marriage good, and for every hundred pounds in money, she brings him a thousand vanities, a thousand fits, a thousand fancies, a thousand follies, and a thousand new fangles.  
To day she keeps her chamber, sick of a quotidian fit of Folly: to morrow the Coach must be made ready, she must about the town to inquire after new fashions, the next day she begins to breed child, and then for forty weeks after, what queasiness, what squeamishnes, what curiosity, what nicety, what lustig after vanities? she longs for plumbs before they be ripe, for chickens before they be hatched, for dainties that cannot be come by: she must have the hen that sits next the cock, the apple with the red side▪ the calf, with the white face: she longs for the fish, the foul, the fruit, that is but spoken of: we must take heed how we speak of any thing in her hearing for setting her into a vein of longing; she must have an eye to the temperature of the air, the sun must not shine too hot, nor the wind blow too cold on her.  
To conclude, she must be more nice, more curious, and more dainty, then ever was that blessed virgin that bore the Saviour of the world.  
I commend me yet to the women of Laconia, that to increase their strength and vigour (where propagation 
The worthiness of the women of Laconia.  might become the more strong and sturdy) they used to exercise themselves to running, to leaping to wrestling, to heaving and throwing of weights: these were excellent wenches to breed upon, these were gallant girls to maintain a race, of men, fit to make soldiers, fit to fight for their country; for what doth it avail to have a cock 
An excellent issue.  of the game, unless we have again a hen of the same? the whole strain will be but of a craven kind, and the brood a great deal fitter for the dunghill, than the cock pit.  
I would not be thought yet to be so derogating to the reputation of good women, but that I do know there be a number amongst them, that during the time whilst they were breeding of child, they are not free from fits and qualms: and many of them subject to pain, sickness more 
This is always to be respected.  then enough▪ and therefore they are not only to be comforted and cherished, but likewise to be pitied and commiserated: yet there be amongst them again, that if they should not be more nice, then wise, they would think themselves to be quite out of fashion; and the offspring of these (for the greatest number) are fitter to follow a Taber and a Pipe, then to march after a Drum and a Fife, and do know better how to give fire to a Tobacco pipe, then to buckle on an Armour of proof.  

A precious sight.  O what a precious sight it were to see a woman that is but young in years, to be sober & modest, as the time now serveth; glory & admiration attends on her in all her actions; and it is good likewise in those that be aged, because the contrary in an ancient woman were abominable.  

Good women plenfull to be found.  And such there be, both old and young, and well considering the condition of the time, in great plenty to be found, and the number of these would far exceed, and be yet more abundant than they be, were they not not alienated from their own proper natures by the seducements of men.  

Women made worse by the ill example of men  Do you see a woman that is garish to look upon, that is new fangled, and gaudy to the show? look amongst men, and you shall find ten men for one woman, that are more vain, more nice, and more foolish than any woman you can seek out, or that is most noted for her vanity: and 
Wise women and foolish men an unfit match.  would you have so many women Saints, and men Devils? nay there must be vain women, if it be but to satisfy the humours of foolish men: where men have given themselves over to follow sensuality, they must have women that be of their own element to encounter them, otherwise they would never sympathise, for virtue and vice could never agree.  
A woman that should bind herself apprentice to modesty, sobriety, and bashfulness, might sit long enough without a husband in these days, when a thousand crowns are more preciously esteemed amongst our Hermaphrodites, than two thousand good conditions: for so they may embrace the quantity, they never look after the quality; virtue, wit, wisdom, nor honesty itself, is not regarded: good women may say with Friar Bacon's 
A pitiful saying.  Brazen head, Time is past.  
Is it any marvel though women do become both vain and dissolute? it is but to feed the humour of those men that are both lascivious and sensual.  
It is the base disposition of men, that maketh so many Harlots as there be at this present, when there is not so common a Courtesan, but she shall be supported by vicious men: and how many Prodigals are there that will spend their stock, their store, their lands, their livings, and all to 
It is men only that seeketh the defamation of women.  maintain Harlots, and such other women as be loose and lewd of life? now show me but the man, that will extend his bounty, his liberality, or almost his good word, to her that is honest.  
If women were not stayed, and mightily propped up by their own virtues, they could not converse with men, but to their great peril and danger; for if they meet with one man that doth present to their modest eyes, the example of wisdom, they shall meet with ten for that one 
Dangerous for women to converse with vicious men.  that doth still carry about them, the badge of Folly; if they meet with one man that will soberly advise them for their honest reputation, they shall meet with ten for that one that will seek their defamation.  
They are men therefore, yea most wicked and ungodly men that have thus sought to overthrow (and do yet seek to diminish) the honour of women, the which I know they are not able to do, for although they may wrest some few vicious minded like themselves to their lewd allurements, yet as good women have evermore defended their honours, so their virtues will still shine in that wont oriental brightness, as the malice of wicked men shall never be able to extinguish nor eclipse.  
I will speak no more of women, but will you now see the honesty of this age? it is put in print, and there are none dishonest now, but those that are poor.  

A foul fault to be poor and honest.  Poverty in this age is the greatest dishonesty that a man can fall into, neither can there be a greater blemish to any manscredit, then to be reputed poor and honest.  
Rich men be all honest, and their honesties are accounted so much the more, or so much the less, as they be rated in the Subsidy book.  

The honesty of richmen.  A rich man's wealth, is his wisdom, his virtue and his honesty: and he that is better able to give you white money for your gold, then to give you a wise answer to your honest demand, may yet speak his opinion in despite of wisdom, and his words must carry credit and authority, when truth itself shall not be believed, if it proceed from the 
Honesty is d●●d many years since.  mouth of poverty. Plain dealing: honesty is dead, many years since, he died of a consumption, but this is the mischief, he died without issue.  

Knaucry in never better health then at this present.  Knaucry hath taken physic, and is grown so strong and lusty, that he walks the streets at pleasure, but yet disguised, sometimes like a promoter, sometimes like a broker, sometimes like a scrivener, and many times like an under sheriff.  
In the Term time he will be sure to look into Westminster hall, sometimes amongst the catchpoules, and otherwhile like a poor client, with a paper in his hand, and will look so ruthfully that a man would sooner pity him, then be able truly to discover him.  

Virtue grown poor.  Virtue is grown poor, and hath few or none to attend her, but that is no great wonder, for who would follow a beggar?  

A cold recompense.  Her best deserts are recompensed, perhaps by a ballad-maker, or if they be sometimes canonised on a stage amongst players, she is highly favoured: alas poor virtue, that hast no better recompense than what thou thyself canst draw from vice; yet there are many that will speak of virtue, and tell of her excellency, but they are few that will translate her truly out of words into deeds.  

Conscience exiled.  Conscience is exiled, and banished quite out of City, Town and Country.  
My self having some occasions, making inquiry where I might find him, I was told he used sometimes to frequent fairs and markets, whereupon I went to Bartholmew-fair, and missing him there, I went to Sturbridge-Fayre, and likewise lost my labour; whereupon I came to Romford market, where I could no news at all of him: then coming back to London I made inquiry amongst shopkeepers, tradesmen and Merchants: they told me they knew him not, but wished me to inquire amongst the stationer's, and those that sold books: to Paul's Churchyard I went, and they showed me a book, that made mention of one that was sometimes called by the name of Robin Conscience, but what was become of him they could not tell, but willed me to ask amongst the Lawyers; but coming to them, they began to laugh at me, and thought me to be out of my wits, that would ask for Conscience amongst them: I was then in despair for ever to find him, thinking to give over my guest, till a friend softly whispering in mine ear, willed me to seek amongst the Papists that will make vaunts, that they have gotten Conscience tied up in a string, and that Conscience and they were as familiar the one with the other, as the Beggar and the Louse; but when I came amongst them, he that they stood so much upon, whom they called by the name of Conscience, was a mere counterfeit hypocrite, no more like Conscience then a traitor is like a true man: it was (indeed) wilful opinion, froward, blind and obstinate, whom they imposed to carry the name of Conscience: & leaving them where I found him, being out of hope for ever to find out Conscience, it was my fortune yet in miraculous manner to hit upon him, but if I should tell you where, and in what country, you would think it strange: but to tell you 
Conscience found only amongst Soldiers.  the truth, I found him in Ireland, and would you know amongst whom, it was amongst a company of poor and needy soldiers: when I had a while wondered at the matter, I asked him what he meant to abandon better company, to associate himself with these thread bear fellows, the very Abjects of this age, that amongst all other professions were of the basest account & least esteemed: his answer was, their fellowship was fittest for him, that now at this day, took but eight pence a day pay, no more than they took many hundred years ago, when they might buy more for their eight pence, than they can do now for their eighteen, and therefore he knew not any profession more fitting for him to associate himself of, then amongst Soldiers.  
Having thus heard his reason and his resolution I dispatched my business, and there I left him; but I see conscience will not stay amongst them, that a man would think, were best able to support him, I mean amongst rich men. But some will say, riches that are not honestly come by, will not long stay, but as they are quickly gotten, so they are suddenly gone, but they are much deceived, 
Ill gotten goods very kind to their master.  that are of that belief: for riches are as kind and loving to their master, as the Body louse, that will never leave his master, though he be going to the gallows, but will there hang with him for company; and riches that are unlawfully gathered together, will never leave their master till they have brought him to hell, and there they will be a corrosive to his Conscience still world without end.  

Riches but a tickle commodity.  But this worldly wealth I see is but a tickle commodity, for he that hath most, he hath notynough, neither to keep his head from aching, nor his conscience from despairing.  

Who is to be accounted rich.  He is only to be accounted rich, that possesseth, what he hath gotten justly, and useth what he possesseth honestly▪ but for the ungodly, they may well be reputed wealthy, but never rich.  

An excellent Touchstone.  There cannot be a more excellent Touchstone, whereby to discover the dispositions of men, then is the superfluity of wealth, and the extremity of want, the spring tide of prosperity, and the low ebb of adversity; for although the mattess of themselves are indifferent, yet the managing of them is it that giveth light.  

Prosperity.  Prosperity, pampereth us up in pleasure, it maketh us to forget God, and to repose our greatest confidence in the vanities of the world.  

Adversity.  Adversity, maketh us contemptible in the Eye of the world, it is the means whereby we are taught to know ourselves, and to draw us to God.  
Prosperity, so swelleth us in pride, that we forget ourselves, it so blindeth our understanding, that we are not able to discern a friend from a flatterer, nor to judge whether those that do fawn upon us, be more in love with ourselves or with our fortunes.  
Adversity, maketh us humble, it cleareth the understanding, and giveth us Eyes to discern between Friendship and Flattery, and to make assured trial between a Friend and a Foe. Adversity may be both judge and jury.  
What have I said, may Adversity judge between a friend and a foe? I never heard that poverty was cloyed with many friend, and adversity, if he once begins to want, shall never want a foe: they will say a friend is tried 
Of friends and friendship.  in time of need▪ but I say, that need is it that makes a friend a foe, he is a fool that wanteth friends, and if he wants not wealth.  
But he that hath poverty to cast up his accounts, and is become Needs Ambassador, to beg or to borrow, if he find a friend to supply his wants, I say such a friend is 
Strange to be found.  more precious, & more rare to be found, than Plato's Common▪ wealth, More's Utopia, Cicero's orator, or Baldesers' Courtier: he that is a friend to all can be friend to none, but it is nothing so smarting to be called a Niggard or to be reputed for a Miser, as to have it said, He is every man's 
A foolish commendation.  friend but his own.  
It were too great a presumption in me now to meddle with Divinity, the dignity of the subject may suffice, for where the object is God, the ground work is infallible, there needs no further demonstration.  

Of Divinity.  Divinity is a heavenly Law, sealed by God the lawgiver, written and set down by the finger of God, and delivered by those that were inspired by his holy spirit.  
It hath likewise pleased God from the beginning, to raise up patriarchs and Prophets, to teach and govern his people and after in the kingdom of our Saviour, he ordained the ministry of the Gospel, appointing it perpetual to the end of the world, and hath further taught us to pray, that Labourers might be thrust into the Harvest.  

The worthiness of the Divine.  Shall I then speak of the Divine, that is the Steward of God, appointed to dispose his mysteries, that is, the Ambassadors of glad and joyful tidings, that doth bring unto us the word of our salvation, that is the light to shine before us in all godly example, of Love, of Charity, of Humility, of Temperance, of Chastity, of Sobriety, of integrity of life, of honest conversation, and therefore worthy of double honour?  

Our English Clergy what they are.  I think, of my conscience, our English Clergy at this present hour, are as complete in learning in living, in doctrine, in wisdom, and in all manner of godly knowledge, as although in some other parts in Christendom (perhaps) there may be some found to second them, yet none to disprove, or exceed them.  
But as amongst the twelve Disciples, there was a ludas, so amongst this honourable function, there creeps in now and then a false Disciple, that knows how to bait his 
A false Apostle.  book with gravity, till he hath caught a benefice, & then the Surples must serve to cover a most ungodly carcase: & he that should set up a light for other men to follow, his Lamp doth burn so dim, that he that were not well sighted of himself, might sooner stumble, than hit the right tract.  

Parson please time.  Another intruder there is, Parson please-time by name, that being unbeneficed, will therefore become a Chaplain, to some man of worth, and worthiness: he will sometimes step up into the Pulpit, and he will preach against sin, but it shall be done with half a lip, he dares not press it till it smarts; he knows it is no time of year, to be too vehement against all sorts of sins, for offending those that he would more willingly please.  

An other Nathan hard to be found.  Where shall we find another Nathan, that dares tell his master to his face, Thou art the man? 2. Sam. 12. Thou art the man that hast sinned in Pride, thou art the man that hast sinned in Drunkenness, in Adultery, in Blasphemy; thou art the man that hast racked up thy rents that hast oppressed thy tenants, that hast wronged thy poor neighbours: no, Parson please-time knoweth well enough, this is not the ready way to get a fat Benefice.  
To speak now in general, and to speak according to a truth, the Pulpits in England, and in Ireland both, were never better supplied, with a more reverent, and a more learned Ministry then at this present, for their sakes therefore that be good, I will speak no more of those few that be ill.  

Of Philosophy.  I shall not need to speak of Philosophy; the study of wisdom is now out of season, and the natural part of Philosophy, but showeth us what we have, and the moral, how to use rightly what is our own, a burden too heavy for every man's head to carry: I will leave it, and speak a little of Soldiers, 
Of counterfelt Soldiers  or at the least of such as in these days, would fain be taken for soldiers, and do march some of them under the title of Captains, that never spread Ensign of their own before an enemy, nor never saw enemy march in the field: yet he will relate of wars, of skirmishes and encounters, as briefly, as if 
Their bravadoes.  he had been an eye-witness, when he hath but pilfered them from report, or (perhaps) stolnethem from some new printed ballad: and he that hath but seen the siege of Troy, pictured forth in a painted cloth, will speak of sallies, of assaults, of encounters, of retraites, of palizadoes, of ravelins, of parapites, all his speeches shall be nothing else but powder and shot.  
He will spend a whole after noon, in relating his own valours, and this he doth to prevent quarrels, because he loves not every day to fight; he bears down strangers with the story of his own actions, & will attribute the honour of a victory to his own valour: now he that is but weak of faith, & will not believe these wonders, must be terrified with the stab.  

The title of a Captain. A good privilege for a Drunkard.  It is as good a warrant for him that would swagger, swear, and be every day drunk, to be called a Captain, as for him that would become a Rebel both to God and his Prince, to be called a Catholic.  
Honour was wont to be the Adamant to draw the soldiers sword, but now the instigation of a Harlot, or a pot of strong Ale.  

A soldiers virtue.  His virtue is this, if it be but for a matter of a thousand pounds, a soldiers word is as good as his band.  

Of Knights.  I might now speak of Knights, that in former ages were had in honourable reputation, and the order so remaineth honourable still, where the dignity is bestowed upon worthy persons; but as amongst Captains and Soldiers, there be a number that doth march under those titles, that are but counterfeits, so amongst Knights, what a number are crept into the order, that doth but bedirty the dignity, and are become a scandal to that honourable order?  

The one a carpet Knight the other King Arthur's fool.  Knighthood was wont to be the reward of virtue, but now a common prey to the betrayers of virtue, & we shall sooner meet Sir Dinadine, or Sir Dagonet, at another man's table, than with Sir Tristram de Lionis, or Sir Lancelot de lake in the field.  
Knights in former ages have been assistant unto Princes, and were the stays of the Commonwealth; but now, they live by begging from the Prince, and are a burden to the commonwealth.  

Of a Courtier.  May we yet speak a little of the Courtier, I will speak but softly; the first principles of a Courtier (I speak but of the meaner sort) he must learn to creep to crouch, to flatter, and to climb up to immerited praise, by the steps of others disgrace: and the ambitious sort, must not be without base minds to attend them that will stoop to any villainy for preferment.  
A right Courtier, is high in his own imagination, and his best compliments, are Pride, and Ignorance; he is more curious in his words, then constant in his promises: the matter that he most admireth, is the beauty of his Mistress, his greatest circumspection is about his apparel, how he may pink it, how he cut it, stitch it, and lace it: he is still inquisitive after news, and in all his discourses, he dares speak more than himself understands.  
He spends his greatest time, in the contemplation of suits, and he will not open his lips to salute any man, that is not clad in silk, and his apparel made in the new fashion.  

Of Lawyers.  Now I cannot tell what I should call the study of Law, whether I should term it to be a profession, a science, or an art: a trade I cannot call it, yet there be some that do think it to be a craft, because a Gentleman demanding of a Lawyer's servant, what craftsman his master was? answered, Sir, my master is a crafty Lawyer.  
But I think it may rather be called an occupation, for they have those amongst them, that they do call apprentices at Law, who by that time they have served out their years, and that they are become journey men, they do trouble 
journey men Lawyers.  the whole commonwealth, with their practice, as they make it an ungracious practice that doth breed such disturbance.  
There be three sorts of men, that they say may tell a lie by authority, and those are, an old man, a travailer, and a Poet; but a Lawyer hath both authority and law to tell any lie, that his Client will inform.  

The effect of the Law.  The office of the Law is to command things that be honest and virtuous, & again, to countermand what is dishonest and vicious, and next after the Gospel the Law is the greatest comfort that God hath given to the sons of men; it remedieth injuries, and giveth to every man what is his: but by the corruption of some Lawyers the Laws are made traps, and trains, whereby both rich and poor are caught and spoiled; for they have such a number of subtle 
The subtillty of Lawyers.  subtillties, that they do yet make more subtle by their subtle handling, that they be able to set the Laws themselves together by the ears, and utterly to overthrow one Law with another.  
The Lawyer is more hated for his inconstancy, than loved for his learning, when he will take money to defend a matter, that in his own conscience he knows to be unjust.  
Their tongues were wont to be tied to ten shillings, but they have raised their market, and they think four for 
The charitable disposition of Lawyers.  one, now to be too little; yet they do show themselves to be of a charitable disposition, they do love their enemies; they do love, and with an entire affection, they do heartily embrace the Angels, that with fair shows sometimes shining and glistering in their faces, do send a number of them to the Devil.  
Now to wind up all, and for a last farewell, I could find in my heart, to praise Poetry, and to commend a great number of writers, which I do better know by the excellency of their lines, then by their persons; but their own works are a better commendation, than I am able to apply: but there are 
Bastard Poets  a number in these days, that make semblance, to be retaining to the Muses, that do pester the Stationer's stalls, with such unprofitable stuff, that learning might seem to be the mistress of ungodliness, when our especial endeavours consisteth but in the abuse of knowledge: and Poetry that hath been accustomed (under feigned fictions) to discover Vice, is now become the Art of Flattery.  
Be there not printed lines, or to speak more truly, may be called printed lies; for take away but so much of the matter as they have enforced but to Lying and to Flattering, and there would nothing be left remaining that were worth the 
Flattering and lying.  reading. How many Writers be there, that do labour with the Mountains, to bring forth Mice, that do seek to draw the lions skin upon Aesop's Ass, and Hercules Shoe upon a child's foot?  
Some again converts all their Reason into Rhyme; and some will write a whole Volume, neither in Rhyme nor Reason: & let their lines be never so vain and frivolous, yet they must be fronted with the name of Excellent.  
But they do well to suit the World with Books according to the time; for rude limping lines, are best befitting a lame halting age. Writers are not so vain, but Readers (for the most part) are three times more foolish, and a vain glorious title, doth better fit their appetites then a good book: the Stationer dares hardly adventure to print a good book, if it tend to the reprehending of vice or vanity. Idle toys tending to sensuality, or other like licentious folly, are set forth upon their Stalls, in bright and glistering covers, when those Books that are either drawing to virtue or godliness, are thrown into dusty corners.  
Socrates admonisheth, that if any man be careful of his honour, let him foresee that he hath not a poet to his enemy, because they have not so great a grace in pray sing, as in ill speaking: but yet to blaze the praises of my friend, I would wish a learned Poet's pen, that with a drop of Ink can exalt him whom they love, and leave him famed to posterity.  

The travel of wit, but slightly regarded.  But this travel of wit, is the most thriftless and unprofitable exercise that any man can endeavour: for where doth it find recompense, or who is he that doth reward it? The Swain that followeth his handy work, is paid at night for his handy labour: the Cobbler that sits and clouts a Shoe, receives his penny for his patch: but he that digs the Mine of wit, and gives the world new eyes to see into conceits beyond the common sense, what gaineth he, or what is his reward? perhaps good words. A poor satisfaction: yet he that gets good words from all, must have a strange Subject and a pleasing pen. But stay my braynesick thoughts, whither 
The conclusion.  will you gallop, you have ridden a large circuit, and I fear me quite out of the way, or at the least to little purpose. You have inveighed against sin, and that is all one to roll Sisyphus Stone, or to fill Daneas Tubs. We must not tax the times abuses; we may make a show to expel vice, and to shut it out at the broad gate, but we may privily take it in again at the wicket: we may desire to come to Christ, but it must be with Nicodemus; it must be in the night when no body may see us. We may dance with Christ in the one hand, and the world in an other; and so we enrol ourselves in his Muster book, we may march in Satan's camp, and fight under the devils banner.  
It is enough to cry Lord, Lord, but not to do any thing that is commanded by the Lord: if we think of God, we think him to be a good man easy to be pleased, and we know how to put him off with fair words, and dumb shows, till our prime of pleasure be passed: it is time enough to repent us of our sins when we be well spent in years ready for the grave: but if we will have our wills in sin, God will have his will in punishment, and our short pleasures being ended, even than begins our everlasting pains: the pleasures and delights of the world, as they are soon loved, so they are as quickly ended, but they are long, yea very long lamented. My conclusion is, it is less misery when we die to give up the ghost, then whilst we live, to give up the holy Ghost.  
I leave what I have written, to thy conscience, and leaving again thy conscience to God, I rest.  
FINIS.   

EPILOGUS▪  
I Have here cast into a small volume, a large discourse of sin and wickedness, the which I have endeavoured rather by a diligent observation of the time, then by any other shadow of complement. I have composed a Glass wherein to behold the inconstant follies of this giddy headed age; a task that I know, will rather produce hatred, then win love: the vicious sort doth so hug their sins, and doth so bestroke and flatter their own abominations, that he that should but detect there vice and villainy, he could not be accounted to be Caesar's friend, they cry out, crucifige, crucifige▪ away with him, and deliver unto us Baxabas.  
Let us have him that can sing lullaby to folly, that can smooth up sin and wink at any manner of wickedness.  
He that is too busy with his ve vobis, he must be brought coram nobis, he must have his tongue charmed, & he must be taught to know to whom he speaks, and how he dares presume to disturb their quietness that are so addicted to follow their pleasure and delight, that they cannot endure to hear neither of God nor the Devil, neither of heaven nor of hell, nor of any other motion, that should either move them to repentance, or reprehend there sins.  
When Lot went about to dissuade the Sodomites from their abominations, were they not angry with him, did they not say unto him: What hast thou to do, to take upon thee, to correct and judge us?  
He that should now speak against the pride of the time, where should he be able to show his face, but that both men and women, would be ready to worrow him? whoredom and adultery, hath so many friends to support them, so many favourites to uphold them, so many of all sorts, both old and young, rich and poor: that doth delight & follow the game, that he that should but open his lips to reprehend it, the whole rabblement of whoremasters, harlots, bawds, panders, and such vicious livers, they would say he were a critic, a satirist, a precisian, a puritan, or a counterfeit hypocrite, but they would not mend their lives.  
Drunkenness again is grown into that generality that he is not accounted to be an honest man that will not be drunken for good fellowship, but amongst drunkards that be of diverse kinds, I hold those to be more dangerous ill, that are drunken with vanity, than those other that are drunken with wine; for the one, two hours sleep may restore him again to the use of his senses: but the other, many hours, days, months nor years may suffice to make him to look into his own folly. Amongst these I commend me to the drunken Tobacconists, that doth besot themselves in their own conceits, attributing that sovereignty to a stinking Indian weed, that if they were not enemies to their own discretions, daily experience would teach them that their excessive sucking at their Tobacco pipe, is but a flat mockery; and would make that favourite, that doth think himself most wise to defend it, to confess his own ignorance: neither can there be a stronger argument to prove it mere vanity indeed, then to see it so much embraced by so many vain men, that doth so much dote and are so far in love with it, that some of them are more angry with him that doth but speak against their Tobacco, than they would be with him that should take exceptions at the shalownesse of their wit.  
But he that wears a silver or a golden Mine on his back, there is no question to be made, neither of his wit nor of his honesty: he may praise or dispraise, how or what he list, he is privileged, and he hath a parcel of scripture to avow in his own behalf, Dixit insipiens, Psal. 14.  
By this it may appear, Sin is grown to that stateliness of Pride, that she will not be controlled. If we speak against sin, we must do it lispingly, we must not speak it out too bitterly: but the follies of this age must be seasoned with sugar, they must be made sweet; but those sins that do seem sweet in the committing, will be found as bitter, when without repentance they come to be accounted for.  
Lo●ke upon the actions of this age, consider of the times abuses, & whose eyes are so bleared with vice, that doth not behold how sin and sensuality did never so much abound? he is blind that seeth not this, and too malicious that will not acknowledge it. The sins of this age are become like old festered sores, that are not to be cured but with biting corrosives; we can not therefore too bitterly reprehend them. We are become like natural beasts that do bring all things to trial but by the senses; but if we could carry them to the inquisition of the soul, we should find it a fearful judgement of God, for men to be given up so much to their own lusts, to have no sense nor feeling of their sin: he that hath this hardness of heart, that he neither feeleth his own sin, nor will not be told of it by another, he is no more of the race of Adam, who was ashamed of himself, but of Pharaoh, who hardened his own heart, and whose heart God did harden.  
If the head doth but a little ache, our urins must knock at the physicians door, and alas how inquisitive we be about the state of our bodies? but let our consciences cry out and exclaim how they list, our sickly famished souls are never respected, we are so far in love with our sins, that we care not for the losing of our souls.  
Are these the works that faith affordeth, is this the life that God requireth? we go to Church (indeed) and we say, to seek the Lord▪ but we do not seek him as if we meant to find him, we seek him not with humble and penitent heart, but with proud and presumptuous spirits, decking and pranking up ourselves with those gaudy and ungodly attires as are more liker to poison our prayers then to profit our souls, better fitting indeed for a Brothel house, then for the house of God.  
We go to Church, rather to show our pomp and our pride, then with any zealous intent, to serve our God as we should do▪  
We go to the Church, as judas went to the Supper of the Lord, we return home in a worse case than when we first went thither.  
With what faces can we make show to profess the Gospel▪ when we be so given up to that monstrous pride, that we rather desire to follow our own voluptuous pleasures, then to serve God? the world doth see it, our consciences doth witness it, neither can we deny it.  
They will make show by their speeches, as if they could not endure that God should be dishonoured: but look upon their actions, their pride, their vanity, their drunkenness, their excess; and they do show them plainly what they are: and he that should judge them by the rules of holy scriptures, might boldly pronounce them to be far from everlasting life: our Saviour Christ hath confidently avowed: The unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of heaven: and the Apostle, 1. Cor. 6. Be not deceived, neither fornicator, neither adulterer, nor drunkard, nor idolater, shall not inherit the kingdom of God.  
Let them flatter themselves therefore how they list, they are in a dangerous plight, & we cannot be too plain to put them from that vain hope that thus deludeth them, that will every day pollute themselves with these abominations, & yet will trust or hope for salvation, they think it time soon enough to repent, when their climacterical year is past, & then if they have but time to say, Lord have mercy upon us, and for their executors to give penny dole when they be dead, it will serve for a quietus est, for all their sins forepast: they may perhaps sometime dream of a dying time, and it is but a dream, for being not thoroughly resolved, that this time draweth every day nearer than other, they never prepare themselves against the time, but are many times taken suddenly in the fullness of their filthiness, and in the very prime, when they be acting of the abominations.  
I have little hope therefore to reform those by my writing, whom the thundering voice of God's word pronounced every day by the Preacher, can neither conform, nor any thing at all terrify: I know I shall rather procure hatred, for speaking truth, then win love for wishing well: but I little fear the Adulterate censure of a senseless multitude; the wicked are like an Ocean, that cannot rest from raging: and a madness for him that will run amongst thorns, and think scorn to be pricked; let them then rage & rail as they list, he that is thoroughly settled and composed in himself, moves in so high an Orb, and at so far a distant from the malicious and ill disposed, that their unsavoury belchings can never annoy him. It sufficeth me that I mask in the true simplicities, of a loyal honesty, my conscience bearing me witness, I have spoken those truths, that I am in nothing more aggrieved, then in that they are too true.  
FINIS.