DEMOCRITUS, OR Doctor Merry-man his Medicines, against Melancholy humours.  
Written by S. R.  
Printed for john Deane, and are to be sold at his shop at Temple-bar, under the gate.   

Honest Gentlemen.  

SOme ancient Seniors, that experienced be  
Of famous Doctors, do applaud these three:  
First, Doctor Diet, a right sober man,  
That near disordered courses ran:  
But keeps such rules as nature holdeth good,  
For to prevent corruption of the blood.  
He is no glutton, with the filthy swine,  
Nor drowns his wits, as drunkards do with Wine:  
But by his temperate carriage liveth long,  
Keeping an able body, sound, and strong.  
Next Doctor Quiet, of a modest life,  
That always doth avoid contentious strife,  
He enters not into the swaggering fits,  
With those whom rage depriveth of their wits.  
For every light occasion to contend,  
Not caring whom it be (with foe or friend)  
To vex himself, in fretful furies rage,  
For all these passions he can well assuage:  
Whereby he keeps himself in perfect health,  
Esteeming more of that, than Croesus' wealth.  
The third is Doctor Merry-man: whose diet  
Doth keep himself, and all his friends in quiet,  
With disposition of a pleasant sort,  
And men of wit will unto him resort:  
To drive away dull melancholy mind,  
Which to a madding frenzy is inclined:  
This Doctor, honest recreation useth,  
And such jests as are here, he often chooseth:  
Not to offend, but like Democritus  
That laughed at th' Athenians, he doth thus;  
He makes but merry with some shallow brains,  
And smiles at many in their knavish veins:  
And if that any discontentment grow,  
'tis not his fault, but theirs that take it so.    

Flatteries Fawn.  

I'll speak thee fair, and make a loving show,  
That thou the thing I wish for mayst bestow;  
I'll give thee honey words, with pleasing smile,  
But it shall only last a good turn while:  
I'll go with thee on foot, I'll run, I'll ride,  
To have like done, and ten times more beside:  
I'll give thee gifts, on warrant of this ground,  
For every shilling to receive a pound.  
What I enjoy, command it as a friend,  
But let me borrow better than I lend.  
Your own to use, I ever will remain,  
So I may use, and overuse again.  
This is the substance of my kindness meant,  
How ere I seem, this is my heart's intent,  
And in this humour I will ever be  
To please the world, that it may profit me.    

Doctor Merry-man.  


hypocrisy was kind, and used me well,  
So long as I had any land to sell:  
Many a (God save you loving sir) I had,  
For your good health I am exceeding glad.  
What is the cause you are a stranger grown?  
The meat doth me no good I eat alone  
Without your company, pray let me have it,  
Of all the kindness in the world I crave it.  
When will you ride? My Gelding's yours to use,  
The choicest Chamber that I have, come choose,  
And lodge with me, command what ere is mine,  
Shall we two part without a quart of Wine?  
That were a wonder, give it sure I will,  
Your presence glads me, I do wish it still.  
This usage I had daily at his hand,  
Till he had got an interest in my land:  
And then I tried his welcomes in my want  
To be, Sir I assure you Coin is scant.  
I would do somewhat for acquaintance sake,  
If you some good security could make:  
But sure to waste my wealth I know not how,  
Were folly, what you have been, is not now.  
I wish you were the man I knew you late,  
Faith I am sorry y'are in this estare:  
You should have thought upon this thing before,  
Patience is all, and I can say no more.  
My business now doth hasten me away,  
I would feign drink with you, but cannot stay;  
Urgent occasions force me, take my leave,  
I wish you well, and so I pray conceive.    


A Citizen for recreation sake,  
To see the Country would a journey take.  
Some dozen Mile, or very little more,  
Taking his leave with friends, two months before:  
With drinking health's, and shaking by the hand,  
As he had travailed to some new found land.  
Well, taking Horse with very much a do,  
London he leaveth for a day or two;  
And as he rideth, meets upon the way  
Such, as (what hast soever) bid men stay:  
Sirrah says one, stand, and your purse deliver;  
I am a taker, thou must be giver:  
Unto a wood hard by, they hale him in,  
And rifle him unto his very skin:  
Masters (quoth he) pray hear me ere you go,  
For you have robbed more now than you do know.  
My horse (in troth) I borrowed of my brother,  
The bridle and the Saddle of another:  
The jerkin and the bases be a Tailors,  
The Scarf (I do assure you) is a sailors:  
The falling band is likewise none of mine,  
Nor Cuffs, as true as this good light doth shine;  
The Satin Doublet and raised▪ Velvet hose,  
Are our Churchwardens (all the parish knows,)  
The boots are john the Grocers at the Swan,  
The Spurs were lent me by a serving-man:  
One of my Rings (that with the great red stone)  
Insooth I borrowed of my Gossip jone;  
Her Husband knows not of it. Gentlemen  
Thus stands my case, I pray show favour then.  
Why (quoth the thieves) thou needst not greatly care,  
Since in thy loss so many bear a share:  
The world goes hard, many goodfellows lack,  
Look not at this time for a penny back;  
Go tell at London, thou didst meet with four,  
That rifling thee, have robbed at least a score.    


A A Mony-monger choice of sureties had,  
A Country-fellow, plain in russet clad:  
His dowbled Mutton-taffaty, sheeps skins,  
His sleeves at hand buttoned with two good pins.  
Upon his head a filthy greasy hat  
That had a hole (eat thorough by some Rat)  
A leather pouch, that with a Snap-haunce shut,  
Two hundred Hobnails in his shoes were put:  
The stockings that his clownish Legs did fit,  
Were Kersie to the calf, and other knit:  
And at a word th'apparel that he wore,  
Was not worth twelvepences, sold At who gives more?  
The other surety of another stuff,  
All Silk and Velvet, in his double Ruff:  
Made Lawn and Cambric, both such common ware,  
His double set, had falling band to spare.  
His fashion new, with last edition stood,  
His Rapier hilts imbrued in golden blood:  
And these same trappings made him seem one sound,  
To pass his credit for a hundred pound:  
So was excepted, Russet coat denied,  
But when time came the money should be paid,  
And (Mounsieur Usurer) did haunt him out,  
Strange alteration struck his heart in doubt:  
For in the Counter he was gone to dwell,  
And Brokers had his painted clothes to sell;  
The Usurer then further understands,  
The Clown refused, was rich, and had good lands;  
Ready through rage to hang himself, he swore,  
That silken knaves should cousin him no more.    


A Wealthy Miser's Son, upon the way  
Met a poor youth, that did entreat and pray  
Something of charity in his distress,  
Help sir (quoth he) one that is fatherless:  
Sirrah (said he) away: be gone with speed,  
I'll help none such; thou art a Knave indeed.  
Dost thou complain because thou want'st a father,  
Were it my case I would rejoice the rather,  
For if thy Father's death, cause the repine,  
I would my Father had excused thine.    


Envy betwixt two friends, a breach did make,  
And th'one of tother very hardly spoke:  
Railing upon him, with untruths and lies,  
And all the slanders that he could devise.  
Th'other, that no good conceit did lack,  
Gave him all gracious words behind his back,  
Commending him for a kind honest man,  
With as much praise, as for his life he can:  
One that heard this, told him it seemed strange,  
That for bad words, so good he did exchange;  
But he replied, Sir we both liars be,  
I do but slander him, as he doth me.    


A Country fellow had a dream  
Which did his mind amaze,  
That starting up, he wakes his wife,  
And thus to her he says:  
Oh woman rise, and help our Goose,  
For even the best we have,  
Is presently at point to die,  
Unless her life you save;  
On either side of her I see  
A hungry Fox doth sit,  
But staying, upon courtesy  
Who shall begin first bit.  
Husband (quoth she) if this be all  
I can your dream expound,  
The perfect meaning of the same  
I instantly have found:  
The Goose between two Foxes placed  
Which in your sleep you saw,  
Is you yourself, that prove a Goose,  
In going still to law.  
On either side a Lawyer comes  
And they do feathers pull,  
That in the end you will be left  
A bare and naked Gull:  
Wife in good troth (quoth he) I think  
Thou art just in the right,  
My purse can witness to my grief  
They do begin to bite;  
I do resolve another course,  
And much commend thy wit,  
I'll leave the Goose's part for them  
That have a mind to it:  
And if thou ever find that I  
To lawing humours fall,  
Let me be hanged at Westminster,  
(Wife) I'll forswear the Hall.    


AN idle fellow that would take no pain,  
Looking that others should his state maintain,  
Was sharp reproved by an honest friend,  
Who told him man was made to other end,  
Then only eat, and drink, and sleep, and play;  
To whom the lazy creature thus did say,  
(Sir) I do near intend to labour much,  
Because I see the bad reward of such  
As take most pains, Horses that labour great  
Are cast in ditches for the dogs to eat.    


A Crafty kind of knavish fool,  
Whereof there plenty be,  
Did break his Mistress looking-glass  
And swore it was not he:  
His Master did examine him,  
Demanding who it was,  
(Sir) if you'll be content (quoth he)  
I'll tell who broke the Glass.  
With that, he brought him in the Hall,  
To Fortune's picture there,  
saying Sir, 'twas Fortune did the deed,  
She ought the blame to bear.  
His Master took a Cudgel  
And belaboured him withal,  
Who crying out for mercy, down  
Before his feet did fall:  
Nay (quoth his Master) 'tis not I,  
To Fortune you must speak,  
For even she that cudgels you,  
The Glass before did break.    


A Sort of Clowns for loss which they sustained  
By Soldiers, to the Captain sore complained,  
With doleful words, and very woeful faces,  
They moved him to compassionate their cases.  
Good Sir, (says one) I pray redress our wrong,  
They that have done it, unto you belong,  
Of all that ere we had we are bereft,  
Except our very shirts, nothing is left.  
The Captain answered thus, fellows hear me▪  
My Soldiers robbed you not, I plainly see.  
At your first speech you made me some what sad,  
But your last words resolve the doubt I had;  
For they which rifled you, left shirts you say,  
And I am sure mine carry all away:  
By this I know, an error you are in,  
My Soldiers would have left you but your skin.    


ONe dying, left three sons  
Whom he advise did give,  
Of what profession to make choice,  
Whereby they best might live.  
Unto the first he said,  
Law, will be good for thee,  
I know as long as there be men,  
Some wranglers still will be.  
The second he did wish  
A canons life to choose,  
For when as others weep and mourn,  
Why thou shalt singing use.  
And to the third he said:  
Physic for thee is fit,  
For earth will smother all the faults  
Physicians do commit.    


AN old stolen Widower, quite past the best,  
That had nothing about him in request,  
Save only that he carried in his purse,  
Would have a tender Wench to be his Nurse.  
His sight was dim, his teeth were rotten out,  
His hands had palzy, and his legs the Gout:  
Yet he would Wench it with a dainty Maid,  
Whose beauties pride in all the parish swayde;  
And had her equal hardly to be seen,  
A tender young one, much about fifteen:  
This gallant to her did a Suitor go,  
With much ado, his legs did plague him so:  
Yet with his staff a pretty shift he made,  
To told her Cupid had the villain played  
With his poor heart, 'twas wounded for her sake,  
And she must needs the healing plaster make.  
She Maid beheld him with a loathing eye,  
And for his quick dispatch, made quick reply:  
And Sir (quoth she) your suit in love withdraw,  
You shall not thatch my new house, with old straw.    


A Gentleman, a curious building framed,  
A house like those that are from Founders named:  
The workmen had enlarged their Art thereon,  
Composing it, a curious heap of stone.  
Being perfect finished as't aught to be,  
The Founder brought his friend, the same to see;  
Demanding how he liked that house of his,  
Why well (quoth he) only one fault amiss,  
And that methinks disgraceth all the rest,  
Your Kitchen is to little I protest.  
Oh (Sir quoth he) in that you do mistake,  
A reason for the same I will you make:  
Of purpose I contrived the Kitchen small,  
To have my house the bigger therewithal.    


A Barber and a Mower did contend,  
With much ado before their strife could end:  
About the Privilege that each did claim,  
And thus the Barber did his reasons frame.  
Sir, I am head of all the trades that be,  
For Kings must sit bareheaded unto me;  
The greatest Monarch that on earth we find  
Puts off to me: Mower, you come behind?  
Tother replied, Barber, in vain you jar,  
I have a privilege exceeds you far,  
For when by me, the Grass with sith is shorn,  
Or that my Sickle cutteth down the corn,  
Upon the stumps I boldly can untruss:  
What Barber on his work, that dare do thus?    


AN humorons fantastic Ass,  
Whose wit and wealth were spent,  
Did in all companies he came  
Boast of his great descent.  
And all the Gentlemen he knew,  
Unto his blood were base:  
For he could prove from Noyes great flood,  
His stock of royal race.  
Pray Sir (quoth one) take no more pains  
In this same worthy thing;  
For it is most apparent plain,  
From what old house you spring.  
You may just prove your pedigree  
From Noah to this hour:  
Your Ancestors good Masons were,  
That wrought on Babble Tower.  
And were I as your worship is,  
In spite of Bricklers hall,  
I would give Trowel in mine arms,  
A Ladder, Tray, and all.     

A Quacksalvers Humour.  

GEntlemen that approach about my stall,  
To most rare Physic I invite you all:  
Come near and hearken what I have to sell,  
And deal with me all those that are not well.  
In this box here, I have such precious stuff,  
To give it praise, I have not words enough:  
If any humour in your brains be crept,  
I'll fetch it out, as if your heads were swept.  
Almost through Europe I have shown my face,  
In every town, and every Market place;  
Behold this Salve, I do not use to lie,  
Whole Hospitals, there have been cured thereby?  
I do not stand here like a tottered slave,  
My Velvet and my Chain of Gold I have:  
Which cannot be maintained by men's looks,  
Friends, all your town is hardly worth my books.  
There stands my Coach and Horses, 'tis mine own,  
From hence to Turkey is my credit known:  
In few I cannot boast as many will;  
Let nothing speak for me but only skill.  
See you that thing, like Gingerbread lies there?  
My tongue cannot express to any ear  
The sundry virtues that it doth contain,  
Or number half the Worms that it hath slain.  
If in your bellies there be Crawlers bred,  
In multitudes, like hairs upon your head:  
Within some hour space, or there about,  
At all the holes you have, I'll fetch them out,  
And ferret them before that I have done,  
Even like the Hare that forth a bush doth run.  
Here is a wondrous water for the eye,  
This for the stomach: Masters will you buy?  
When I am gone, you will repent to late,  
And then like fools among yourselves will prate.  
Oh that we had that famous man again,  
When I shall be supplied in France or Spain:  
Now for a Stoter, you a box may have,  
That will the lives of half a dozen save.  
My man is come, and in mine ear he says,  
At home for me, at least a hundred stays.  
All Gentlemen, yet for your good you see,  
I make them tarry and attend for me:  
If that you have no Money, let me know;  
Physic of alms, upon you I'll bestow.  
What Doctor in the world can offer more?  
Such arant Clowns I never knew before:  
Here you do stand like Owls and gaze on me,  
But not a penny from you I can see.  
A man shall come to do such Dunces good,  
And cannot have his meaning understood;  
To talk to senseless people is in vain,  
I'll see you hanged ere I come here again.  
Be all diseased, as bad as Horses be,  
And die in ditches like to Dogs for me:  
An old wives Medicine, Parsely, Timbe, and Sage,  
Will serve such buzzards in this scurvy age,  
Goose-grease and Fennel, with a few Dog-dates,  
Is excellent for such base lousy Mates:  
Farewell, some Hempen halter be the charm,  
To stretch your necks as long as is mine arm.    

Doctor Merry-man.  


ONe came to court a Wench which was presize,  
And by the spirit did the flesh despise,  
Moving a secret match between them two  
But she insooth and sadness would not do.  
He did reply, so sweet a fair as she,  
Made of the stuff as all frail women be;  
Ought by the law of Nature to be kind,  
And show herself to bear a woman's mind:  
Well Sir (quoth she) you men do much prevail  
With cunning speeches and a pleasing tale.  
'tis but a folly to be overnice,  
You shall: but twenty shillings is my price:  
A brace of Angels if you will bestow,  
Come such a time, and I am for you, so.  
Well, he took leave, and with her husband met,  
Told him by bond he was to pay a debt:  
Entreating him to do so good a deed,  
As lend him twenty shilling at his need.  
Which very kind he present did extend,  
And other willing on his wife did spend:  
So taking leave with her, he goes his ways,  
Meeting his Creditor within few days,  
And told him, Sir I was at home to pay  
The twenty shillings which you lent last day:  
And with your wife, (because you were not there)  
I left it, pray you with my boldness bear.  
'tis well (quoth he) I'm glad I did you pleasure,  
So coming home, questions his wife at leisure:  
I pray sweet heart, was such a man with thee,  
To pay two Angels, which he had of me.  
She blushed and said, he hath been here indeed,  
But you did ill to lend, Husband take heed;  
The falsehood of the world you do not spy,  
It is not good to trust before we try:  
Pray lend no more, for it may breed much strife,  
To have such knaves come home to pay your wife.    


A Crew of Foxes all on thieving set,  
Together at a Country Hen-roost met:  
Where the poor Poultry went to grievous wrack,  
For there they feasted till their guts did crack.  
Having well supped, ready to go away,  
Without demanding what they had to pay;  
Says one unto the rest: friends hark to me,  
Let's point where our next meeting place shall be.  
With a goodwill says one above the rest,  
At such a Farmer's house, his Lambs be best:  
Nay (quoth another) I do know a Clown  
Hath even the fattest Geese in all the Town:  
Well Masters, said a grave and ancient Fox,  
Had been the death of many Hens and Cox.  
The surest place to meet, that I can tell,  
Will be the Skinner's shop, and so farewell.    


A Shepherd that a careful eye did keep,  
Unto the safety of his grazing sheep:  
Perceived a Wolf through the hedge to pry:  
Sirrah (quoth he) pray, what make you so nigh?  
Why (said the Wolf) thou see'st I do no ill,  
Thy flocks are far enough upon the hill.  
What justice now a days these people lacks?  
The Crows ride boldly on thy cattle's backs:  
And not a word thou sayest to them at all,  
Yet but for looking on, with me dost brawl.  
The proverb's true, for now I find it well,  
Which once I heard an ancient old Wolf tell:  
He that upon a bad ill name doth light,  
Is even half hanged, as good be hanged outright:  
And I myself by proof can now allege,  
Some better steal, than some look over the hedge.    


THe Devil did complain he was not well,  
And would go take some Physic out of hell:  
To England, France, & Spain: with speed he got,  
Where all refused him, he did burn so hot.  
In haste he then to Germany did high,  
The cunning of a Quacksalver to try;  
Where in a Marketplace, upon a Stage,  
He found a fellow, could all griefs assuage.  
Doctor (quoth he) I want some of thy skill,  
For I do find I am exceeding ill:  
And any thing for ease I will endure;  
What, wilt thou undertake my pain to cure?  
If thou canst ease the Malady I have,  
Thou shalt have Gold, even what thyself will't crave.  
Gentleman (said this Doctor to the Devil,)  
Upon my life I'll rid you of your evil;  
Make unto me those griefs you have but known,  
And with the curing them let me alone.  
Why Sir (quoth he) my head with horns doth ache,  
My brains doth brimstone like Tobacco take;  
Mine eyes are full of everburning fire,  
My tongue a drop of water doth desire,  
About my heart do crawling Serpents creep,  
And I can neither eat, nor drink, nor sleep;  
there's no diseases whatsoe'er they be,  
But I have all of them imposed on me.  
All torments that the tongue of man can name,  
Within, without, in a continual flame.  
Quoth the Quacksalver, Sir I'll undertake,  
A sound man of you in a month to make:  
Wilt please your worship, show me where you dwell,  
Marry (quoth he) my Chamber is in hell:  
Thy charges in the journey I will bear,  
And I'll prefer thee to the Devil there.  
With speed get up, I'll take thee on my back,  
The world may spare you, and in hell we lack.    


A Bishop met two Priests upon the way,  
And did salute them with the time of day:  
Good-morrow Clerks, unto you both (quoth he)  
Sir (they replied) no Clerks, but Priests are we.  
Why said the Bishop, than I will consent,  
Unto the title of your own content:  
Since you deny to carry Scholars marks,  
Good-morrow to you Priests (that are no Clarks.)    


ONe climbing of a tree, by hap  
Fell down and broke his arm,  
And did complain unto a friend  
Of his unlucky harm.  
Would I had counseled you before  
(Quoth he) to whom he spoke,  
I know a trick for Clymbers,  
That they never hurt shall take:  
Neighbour (said he) I have a Son,  
And he doth use to climb,  
Pray let me know that same for him  
Against another time.  
Why thus (quoth he) let any man  
That lives, climb near so high:  
And make no more haste down then up,  
No harm can come thereby.    


AN aged Gentleman, sore sick did lie,  
Expecting life, that could not choose but die,  
His fool came to him and entreateth thus,  
Good Master ere you go away from us  
Bestow on jacke (that oft hath made you laugh)  
Against he waxeth old, your walking staff.  
I will (quoth he) go take it, there it is,  
But on condition jacke which shall be this,  
If thou do meet with any while thou live,  
More fool than thou, the staff thou shalt him give:  
Master (said he) upon my life I will,  
But I do hope that I shall keep it stil.  
When Death drew near, and faintness did proceed,  
His Master calls for a Divine with speed,  
For to prepare him unto heavens way,  
The Fool starts up, and hastily did say:  
Oh Master, Master, take your staff again,  
That prove yourself the most fool of us twain.  
Have you lived now, some fourscore years and odd,  
And all this time are unprepared for God?  
What greater fool can any meet withal?  
Than one that's ready in the grave to fall.  
And is to seek about his soul's estate,  
When Death is opening of the pryso n-gate.  
Bear witness friends, that I discharge me plain:  
Here Master, here, receive your staff again:  
Upon the same condition I did take it,  
According as you wiled me, I forsake it.  
And over and above, I will bestow,  
This Epitaph, which shall your folly show.  
Hear lies a man, at death did heaven claim,  
But in his life he never sought the same.    


A Simple Clown in Flanders,  
As he traveling had been:  
(Having his wife in company)  
Came late unto his Inn.  
A Spanish Soldier being there  
A Guest unto the place:  
No sooner saw, but liked his wife,  
(She had a comely face.)  
And watched when they were gone to bed,  
Then boldly in comes he,  
And never said friends by your leave,  
But made their number three.  
The Clown lay still and felt a stir,  
Yet durst not speak for's life;  
At length his patience was so moved,  
He softly jogged his Wife.  
And said to her, prithee entreat  
The Spaniard to be still,  
Can I speak Sanish man, (quoth she)  
You know I have no skill?  
But Husband if you please to rise  
And for the Sexton go:  
He understandeth Spanish well,  
Assuredly I know.  
Faith and I'll fetch him strait (quoth he)  
And so the Rustic rose,  
And softly sneaking out of doors,  
About his message goes.  
Mean while (imagine what you will)  
To me it is unknown:  
But ere her Husband came again,  
The Spaniard he was gone:  
Which when the simple Fool perceived,  
He fell to domineer;  
Oh wife (said he) for twenty pound  
I would I had him here.  
Tell me sweet heart, when I was gone,  
How long the Knave did stay:  
Quoth she) you scarce were out of doors  
Before he ran away.  
Wife (said the Clown) thou makest me laugh  
That I did scare him thus,  
Come let us take a little nap  
for his disturbing us.  
You see what comes of policy  
and good discretion wife:  
if I had been a hasty fool,  
● might have cost my life.     

A Courtesans Humour.  

I Am a Professed a Courtesan,  
That live by people's sin:  
With half a dozen Punks I keep,  
I have great coming in.  
Such store of Traders haunt my house  
To find a lusty Wench,  
That twenty gallants in a week  
Do entertain the French;  
Your Courtier, and your Citizen,  
Your very rustic Clown,  
Will spend an Angel on the pox,  
Even ready Money down.  
I strive to live most Ladylike,  
And scorn those foolish Queans,  
That do not rattle in their Silks,  
and yet have able means.  
I have my Coach, as if I were  
A Countess, I protest  
I have my dainty music plays  
When I would take my rest.  
I have my serving-men that wait  
Upon me in blue Coats,  
I have my Oars that attend  
My pleasure with their Boats.  
I have my Champions that will fight,  
My Lovers that do fawn,  
I have my Hat, my Hood, my Mask,  
My Fan, my Cobweb Lawn:  
To give my Glove unto a Gull,  
Is mighty favour found:  
When for the wearing of the same,  
It costs him twenty pound.  
My Garter as a gracious thing,  
Another takes away:  
And for the same a silken gown  
The Prodigal doth pay.  
Then comes an Ass, and he forsooth  
Is in such longing heat,  
My busk point even on his knees,  
With tears he doth entreat.  
I grant it, to rejoice the man,  
And then request a thing;  
Which is both Gold and precious stone,  
The Woodcocks Diamond Ring.  
Another lowly minded youth,  
Forsooth my shooe-string craves,  
And that he putteth through his ear,  
Calling the rest base slaves.  
Thus fit I Fools in humours still,  
That come to me for game,  
I punish them for Venery,  
Leaving their purses lame.  
In Newgate some take lodgings up,  
Till they to Tyburn ride,  
And others walk to Wood-street,  
With a Sergeant by their side.  
Some go to Houns-ditch with their clothes  
To pawn for Money lending:  
And some I send to Surgeon's shops,  
Because they lack some mending.  
Others pass ragged up and down;  
All tottered, rend, and torn,  
But being in that scurvy case,  
Their companies I scorn.  
For if they come and fawn on me,  
there's nothing to be got;  
As soon as ere my Merchants break,  
I swear, I know them not.  
No entertainment, nor a look  
That they shall get of me?  
If once I do begin perceive,  
That out of cash they be:  
All kindnesses that I profess,  
The fairest shows I make,  
Is love to all that come to me  
For Gold and Siluers sake.  
To forward men, I forward am,  
Most frank unto the free,  
But such as take their ware on trust,  
Are not to deal with me.  
The world is hard, all things are dear:  
Good-fellowship decays,  
And every one seeks profit now,  
In these same hungry days.  
Although my trade in secret be  
Unlawful to be known,  
Yet I will make the best I can,  
Of that which is mine own.  
For seeing I do venture fair,  
At price of whipping cheer,  
I have no reason but to make  
My Customers pay dear:  
Our charge beside is very great  
To keep us fine and brave,  
A Whore that goes not gallantly,  
Shall little doings have.  
Therefore all things considered well  
Our charges and our danger;  
A daily friend shall pay as much  
As any Termtime stranger.    

Doctor Merry-man.  


A Rich man and a poor did both appear  
Before a judge, an injury to clear:  
The Rich did tell a tale most tedious long,  
Mending as he supposed with words the wrong.  
And ever when the poor man would have spoke,  
With bold outfacing speech he did him choke.  
The woeful wight at length could hear no longer,  
But boldly raised his voice both loud and stronger;  
My Lord (quoth he) pray now bid Dives stay,  
And hear but what poor Lazarus can say:  
My Ox came in his field, which he doth keep,  
And swears for that, he'll pay me with a Sheep.    


TWo Beggars did encounter on the way,  
That had not seen each other many a day:  
Nor met together at the hedge (Rogues hall)  
As perfect lousy, as they both could crawl.  
Each had a hat, and Nightcap for the cold,  
And Cloaks with patches, full as they might hold;  
Great Satchell scrips, that shut with leather flaps,  
And each a Dog to eat his masters scraps.  
Their shoes were Hobnail proof, sound bepegged,  
Wrapped well with clouts, to keep them warmer legged:  
Says one to tother, come, hang care, let's drink,  
Our trade is better than a number think:  
For I, my wife, and jacke, ply up and down  
To make our ery day, worth half a Crown.  
Most towns in Flanders, I have learned to name,  
And am a poor distressed Soldier lame.  
And sometimes I their charities desire,  
Like one hath lost all that he had by fire:  
Fire (quoth other) come along mad knave,  
Let's go where we some watering place may have.  
where's the best Beer to give a man content?  
I have a penny that was never spent.  
And twenty slaves, I Gentlemen did name,  
Before I could be master of the same:  
To many an Ass I do the worship give,  
With Lord preserve your goodness while you live:  
Now jesus prosper you by Sea and Land,  
And bless you Master, all you take in hand.  
God keep your limbs, and Lord increase your store,  
I eat no bread to day, (but drank the more.)  
For Christ his sake, make this same up a penny,  
Thus do I angle Silver out of many;  
I, when I have it for my speaking fair,  
If he were hanged that gave it, I near care.  
The other Beggar laughed, and did reply,  
Roger, of that same humour right am I.  
I can afford good speech as well as thou,  
And unto any knave such words allow;  
I will not want that till my tongue do frail,  
But prithee come, let us go find this Ale.  
I am as dry, as ever was March-dust,  
And here's a groat I mean to spend it just:  
Well said old Tom (says other) if thou do,  
My groat shall go, and my Tobacco too.  
Although a beggars credit be not great,  
We will be Gentlemen in our conceit:  
I think myself as good a man each way,  
As he that goes in Velvet er'y day.  
we'll spend a Crown, and drink carouses round,  
Before some Churls are worth ten thousand pound:  
there's nothing but a pair of stocks we fear,  
I'll bring thee to a cup of tickling gear.    
FINIS.