TO THE WORLD'S BLIND JUDGEMENT, that wants a pair of Spectacles with a true sight.  
TRuth doth avouch it, and experience says,  
Time serves us with his worst of wicked days,  
The world, even like a garment waxeth old▪  
Self-love is hot, charity deadly cold.  
The notes we have to know our good men by  
(As corrupt judgement deems with errors eye)  
Are wealth, and words, no matter how they live,  
he's a good man, that can good speeches give,  
And talk of Virtue, and Religious zeal,  
Although in deeds he like a Devil deal.  
Another sort there are, the world calls best,  
Only because they are of wealth possessed:  
Their gold and silver gildeth them so well,  
They are the best in Parish where they dwell:  
And so was ●iues, out of question too,  
Most richly magnified with much ado,  
Until the end tries truth, at dying day,  
When all the world's esteemed things decay,  
Devils with Gluttons soul did merry make,  
Angels, poor Lazarus to glory take.  
Blind judging world, senseless in censure thou'rt,  
With greatness, not with goodness taking part:  
Tell me, where's he that for true Virtue's sake,  
The poor Just man, will his companion make?  
Where's he that is the greatest findefault known,  
Reproves his brother's miss, and mends his own?  
Where's he that is to such a patience grown,  
That he will put up wrong, and offer none?  
What's he that nowadays doth good for ill,  
And would do hurt to no man by his will?  
Point out the man, breathing beneath the Sun,  
That doth, as to himself he would have done.  
What's he as willing will repay a Debt,  
As he was ready trusted goods to get?  
Who will not flatter Greatness nowadays,  
In all the errors of their graceless ways?  
Who will in losses on his God depend,  
And take that patiently the Lord doth send?  
Who will be weary to be moneys slave,  
And having wealth, confess, enough I have?  
Who will not catch (if by his craft he can,)  
The means, and living from another man?  
What's he that will his Covenant fulfil,  
As firm by promise, as by Bond or Bill?  
Where's he will lend of superfluity,  
Without the Usurer's gratuity?  
Who is it that of faithful true intent,  
Maintains the poor, defends the Innocent?  
Sure if Diogenes did live again,  
He might burn day, as once he did, in vain,   

READER.  
THis Crystal sight is not for all men's Eyes,  
But only serves for the judicious wise,  
Fools, they may gaze as long as ere they will,  
And be as blind as any Beetle still:  
A purblind Momus fleeringly will look,  
And spy no knave but's self in all the Book.  
A Sycophant, that slaves himself to all,  
Will his own Knave-companions honest call,  
And wilful wink, because he will not see,  
With diverse sorts of Buzzards else that be:  
But these we leave to their defective sight,  
With Bats and Owls that blinded are by light.  
S. R.   

A DRUNKARD'S Duello.  
A Worshipper of Bacchus, ripe in Grape,  
From merry drunk, and toyish as an Ape,  
Fell Lion drunkard, and in Claret heat,  
His cup-companion did with combat threat,  
To meet next morning in Saint George's field,  
Whereto the other did encounter yield,  
And so they left the Tavern very late,  
The Challenger reeled home with drunken pate,  
And put himself in complete armour, like  
The God of battle, Dagger, Sword, half Pike,  
And beats upon his adversary's door,  
Saying, I come like Bevis to the Boar,  
Appear, base coward, rouse thee from thy den.  
The other with the noise awakening then,  
Comes down, and finds behind his door to stand,  
A Paring shovel, which he took in hand,  
And lends to brave Sir Lancelot of the Lake,  
A blow that made his steeled coxcomb ache,  
Who double wounded, fell as he were slain.  
The other quiet went to bed again,  
And his confounded enemy lets lie,  
At last the stumbling watch with light come by,  
Seeing an armed man all myery foul,  
They gaze on him, like Woodcocks at an Owl,  
Then get him up, and leaning on their Bills,  
They samen him according to their skills,  
As who, and what, and where, and which, and why?  
And thus, and so, and then, and whence, and I,  
Then holding of the Lantern to his face,  
He thus delivers them his woeful case:  
You brave brown Billmen that behold the wight,  
Whom dirt hath spoiled of his armour bright,  
Note well the admonition that I give,  
In charity with all your neighbours live,  
For I with malice on my friend did frown,  
And jove with thunderbolt hath strooke me down,  
His very hand, none else hath done the deed,  
My wounds are inward, for I feel them bleed,  
Disarm this heavy burden from my back,  
Knock Vintners up, to save my life with Sack.   

The dishonest borrower.  
SIr, as you ever have (until this hour)  
Been my best friend by your assisting power,  
And done more for me in true action tried,  
Then all the friends I have, have done beside,  
So let me once again on urgent cause  
(Which all my credit into Question draws)  
Obtain to borrow for a month ten pound,  
And as I have tofore, I will rest bound  
In all the duties of a grateful heart,  
Till my Immortal substance hence departed.  
The money lent, as fawning friend desired,  
Month after month, and years at length expired;  
The Creditor, weary of such delay,  
Came to his Debtor, and entreats him pay.  
Pay, Sir (quoth he?) what money do I owe?  
What Bond or Bill to prove it, can you show?  
This you demand is false, and I deny it,  
First prove a Debt, and then come lawful by it.  
My answer is, I own you not a shilling,  
My conscience is, I'll ne'er pay penny willing.   

Old Doting Lust.  
Never persuade me, for I will have Bess,  
If I were elder, and her years were less,  
I have outlived the weary loathsome lives  
Of three old (good for nothing) worn-out wives,  
And now a young one I intent to try,  
For comfort to mine age before I die.  
Persuade me not, I will be ruled by none,  
Although to fourscore my grey head be grown:  
I will have one that shall be young enough,  
Preferring tender, before old and tough,  
Neither pass I though foolish people say,  
Yonder goes cold December, matched with May.  
Look how his brows are swollen within his Hat,  
For thus, my friends, I am resolved for that.  
He that wears Horns, and neither knows, nor thinks it,  
And he that takes a Fly unseen and drinks it,  
Should never with conceit themselves abuse:  
For what the eye ne'er sees, the heart ne'er rues:  
Come good-luck, bad-luck, Cuckold's luck between,  
My fourscore old will marry young sixteen.   

A Fantastical Knave.  
Sirrah, come hither, I must send you strait  
To diverse places, about things of weight,  
First to my Barber, at his Basin sign,  
Bid him be here to morrow about nine:  
Next to my Tailor, and will him be here  
About eleven, and his Bill I'll clear:  
My Shoemaker by twelve, haste bid him make  
About the Russet Boots that I bespoke:  
Stay, hark, I had forgot, at any hand  
First to my Laundress for a yellow Band,  
And point the Feather-maker not to fail,  
To plume my head with his best Ostrich tail.  
Speak to the Saddler: no, let him alone,  
he'll look for money, I can spare him none.  
Step to the Cutler for my fight blade,  
And know if that my riding sword be made,  
Bid him trim up my walking Rapier neat,  
My dancing Rapiers pummel is too great▪  
Stay, stay, forbear, some other time we'll borrow,  
I must take Physic, and lie in to morrow,  
The Doctor, I remember, will come hither,  
And he'll both purge me, and my purse together.   

As wise as john of Gotehams' Calf: OR, This fellow brought his Hogs to a fair Market.  
HVmphrey would up to London forty mile,  
He vowed to travel over Bridge and Style,  
To see the Zitty, though his Father pray him,  
And Mother weep, and Sisters cry to stay him.  
There's no persuading Humphrey bide at home,  
He will to London spite of cock and's comb,  
When parents see nothing prevail they can,  
They point Tone Carter for his Servingman,  
And stock their Youngman with good store of crowns,  
Who taking leave with all his fellow clowns,  
Sets forward bravely like the Wand'ring Knight,  
And could not take contentment day nor night,  
Until the City skirts he overtook,  
Where, as about for harbour he did look,  
To drink a Health back, for their town's carouse,  
They cast their Anchor at a bawdy-house,  
The Punks perceiving they of prey were sped▪  
Entreated them to sup, and take a bed  
Which Humphrey took most kind. Oh Tom (quoth he)  
here's Gentlewomen of good breed, I see,  
A man shall stay at home with Sisse and jone  
And all his life have no such kindness shown,  
At every word w' are Gentlemen, hang gold,  
we'll make it good, while father's bags do hold:  
When my purse shrinks, why, to supply our store,  
Thou shalt ride down (brave Tom) and fetch up more.  
Thus having lavished there, away they go:  
But in short time the matter fell out so,  
The country Gull, with Punks was so bepayed,  
That he must needs seek out for Surgeon's aid,  
A burning grief did overtake at last,  
And he must sweat to think on what was past,  
Take up his Chamber and a while lie in.  
Oh Pocky grief to think where he had been!  
But Master Mendall did so hold him to't,  
That in short time he got him up on foot,  
When Humphrey crept no sooner out of door,  
But he would rail, revenge upon his whore,  
And to the place of foul confusion went:  
His Punk came to him with fair compliment  
Demanding what he'll give her? Give, quoth he?  
Thou damned Whore hast given the Pox to me.  
Quoth she, Thou liest, and dost abuse me base  
I will disprove thy speeches to thy face:  
I give the Pox? 'Tis false, I ne'er gave any:  
I sold the Pox, thou boughtst it with thy penny:  
We made a bargain, I had thy French gold,  
And thou my French disease, full bought and sold.  
Oh ' abomination, Tom, let's home, I vow,  
We brought our Hogs to a fair Market now.  
No longer (Gentlemen) we will remain:  
Go thou to Cart, and I'll to Blow again.  
But Tom, sweet Tom, in any case be trusty,  
Never tell Father I have been so lusty,  
Nor tell our country Wenches I beseech,  
What I have brought from London in my breech:  
For if thou dost, I shall be quite undone,  
As ever was any poor mother's son.   

A Marriage Merchant.  
Captain, in lieu of love I have a plot,  
Whereby on both sides money may be got,  
And thus, the Lady I did marry late,  
Hath a rich Daughter life's in Widow's state,  
To whom her Father gave a Legacy  
Of fifteen hundred pound when he did dye,  
This money to her must my Lady pay,  
Being executrix: now what d'ye say?  
If I between my daughter in law and you  
Do make a match, will you release this due?  
Her state is better than a thousand pound,  
All this will come to you as money found.  
You shall discharge me paying of this portion,  
And I'll gain you a thousand, by my motion.  
Quoth Captain Needy, Sir, with thankes agreed,  
Pray help yourself and me by this good deed,  
This plot between us we will friendly smother,  
And thus with one good turn, requite another.   

Courteous compliments between a Traveller and the Hangman.  
A Giddy gallant, that beyond the seas  
Sought fashions out, his idle pate to please,  
In travelling did meet upon the way,  
A fellow that was suited richly gay,  
No less than Crimson Velvet did him grace,  
All guarded and re-garded with gold Lace,  
His Hat was feathered like a Lady's Fan,  
Which made the Gallant think him some great man,  
And veiled unto him with a meek salute,  
In reverence of his gilded Velvet suit.  
Sir (quoth his man) your Worship doth not know  
What you have done to wrong your credit so:  
This is the Bewle in Dutch, in English plain  
The rascal Hangman, whom all men disdain,  
I saw him other day on castle green  
Hang four as proper men as ere were seen.  
At this his Master in a raging vain,  
Swore he would call his kindness back again,  
And in great haste after the Hangman goes,  
He and his man, so basting him with blows,  
That never Hangman was in worse case  
For a dry beaten, battered, fist-swolne face,  
And then departing, said, Thou Rogue, take that,  
For wearing clothes made me put off my Hat:  
Rope-trader, keep thyself to Hemp and cord,  
And wear not Suits to counterfeit a Lord.  
Sir (quoth the Hangman) do not so disdain me:  
Such swaggerers as you do thus maintain me:  
For I upon my back their kindness bear,  
And they, about their necks my favours wear.   

The Devil, and the Usurer.  
GOod husband, careful man, to thrive and live,  
Embrace the gainful counsel that I give,  
Keep not thy Coin a rusting on thy hand,  
But put it out, it is thy house and land,  
Make profit of thine own, be't to thy Brother,  
And make thy hundreds one beget another,  
Thou shalt have me and all the Devils in hell  
To take thy part, that thou dost wondrous well,  
Although some conscience Christian, some nice fool,  
That will have only Scripture for his school,  
Do tell thee that it is a damned thing,  
To be a Usurer, and places bring  
To prove the same. Why, man if that be all,  
I can myself t' alleging Scripture fall,  
As once in Wilderness I did enlarge  
'tis written, He shall give his Angel's charge,  
Thou shalt not dash thy foot against a stone.  
And so for thee. Tush, let the Devil alone.  
For Usury this Scripture I have found,  
Of him that hide his Talon in the ground,  
And did not put it out to make a gain,  
As did his fellows: here's a place serves plain,  
He was condemned for to let it lie,  
And no increase of profit come thereby.  
Thou lendest thy money unto one that takes it,  
And very gainful in the use he makes it.  
He gives gratuity to thee for lending:  
You both get wealth, this course deserves commending.  
And therefore in the Devil's name go on,  
It is thy money thou must live upon.  
Name me one handicraft, show any trade,  
Will sell his ware, at that same price he paid.  
Let Usury be kept in practice than,  
For it maintains many an honest man.  
Innumerable multitudes of jews,  
And countless Christians, that the trade do use:  
The sons of Mammon, mony-monger slaves,  
With bribing Scriveners, and with broking Knaves,  
That if it were not for the souls of such,  
Lucifer's Kingdom would diminish much,  
That golden Legion are his constant friends,  
To whom his graceless favours he commends.  
And one thing more, my son, thou mayst be bold,  
The Mony-monger, of all trades will hold:  
When Merchant, Mercer, and the rest prove weak,  
My holdfast Usurer will never break.  
Who ever shear the Hogs, he'll shear the sheep,  
And like a Lawyer, is for catch and keep.  
They two (though with the Fox theyare often cursed)  
Yet still far well, for neither of them burst.   

Usurer.  
I Do embrace this counsel with my heart,  
Ten in the hundred, thou and I'll ne'er part;  
Bonds, Bills, and words, I'll trust none of you three.  
Bring good security to deal with me.  
Plate shall be welcome, with a Bill of sale,  
Fast bind, fast find, sure work can never fail;  
Or lend good sums, & have good land bound for it,  
I'll not be catcht nor laughed at, I abhor it:  
Neither trust one, nor yet believe the other:  
I'll credit pawn, before I'll credit brother.   

A Roaring Boys Description.  
AMongst the Monsters of this present Age,  
That in the world like fiends incarnate rage,  
Acting such villainies, and horrid crimes,  
(Unknown to men, in our forefather's times)  
The Devil hath (amongst his fashions new)  
Begotten children of the cursed crew,  
In whose ungraciousness he greatly joys,  
And these by name are called his Roaring Boys:  
Villains that in all villainies abound,  
Which in the lives of Reprobates are found;  
Their days, and nights, are thus consumed away,  
To live in sloth, and eat, and drink, and play:  
God's name is never in their mouths, or hearts,  
Unless by oaths, to tear him out in parts,  
Blasphemously abusing his dread name,  
And hating those that do reprove the same.  
The choicest, loving, dearest friends they have,  
Is Punk and Pander, thief and cozening Knave,  
Shark, Shifter, Cheater, Cutpurse, high way-stander,  
With these, the broad wide way to hell they wander.  
Your Roring-Boy is come of such a strain,  
He is a Villain died in brimstone grain,  
And will hold out while endless flames endures,  
(Such hardened hearts, delight in sin procures)  
If the to life, his picture you will have,  
To know him, by description of a Knave,  
Then thus his outside carries all the wealth,  
Coos'nage can compass, by fraud's secret stealth:  
And what our neat fantastics newest hatch,  
That at the second hand he's sure to catch:  
If it be Feather time, he wears a Feather,  
A golden Hatband, or a silver either,  
A beastly bushy head of lousy hair,  
A Horse-tail lock most nitty he doth wear,  
Wasted like to some Dwarf, or coated Ape,  
As if of Monsters misbegotten shape  
He were engendered, and rejecting Nature,  
Were new cut out and stitched, the Tailor's creature:  
An elbow Cloak, because wide Hose and Garters  
May be apparent in the lower quarters.  
The pocky legs, that bear his carrion corpse,  
Are daily booted, though he back a horse  
Twice in a twelve month, or forswear to ride  
Until a Cart to Tyburn be his guide.  
Yet still in Russetting he will appear,  
Although with Shoemaker he never clear.  
His Cabage Ruff of the outrageous size,  
Starched in colour to beholders eyes:  
A box of Infidels and Heathens drink,  
Composed as hell, of fire, smoke and stink,  
His whole estate is borrow, cousin, cheat,  
This is a Roring-Boyes true Picture neat.   


How kind goodwill, did love requite,  
Between a Cuckold, and a Knight.   
A Knight of Cupid's Court (with Lust being led)  
Got kindly with his neighbour's Wife to bed,  
And by Venereal sport heated (I think)  
Most impudently called the Maid for drink.  
Which when it came, did prove exceeding small:  
But thus Sir Tarquin made amends for all:  
The frugal Cuckold for his humour salt,  
Out of the Knight got forty seams of Malt.  
Which had, he said, Sir, lest I die your debtor,  
Pray come and taste if now my Beer be better.  
If you mislike, before that we do spend it,  
I hope your Worship once again will mend it.   


The boarding of the Alehouse Ship, fought so,  
Till Smug the Smith could neither stand nor go.   
THere was a Smug, that dealt in Iron mettle,  
That in a humour to close fight would settle,  
And board a Bark laden with Beer and Ale,  
Till brain forsook him, and his legs did fail:  
For resolute one night, (this iron-trader  
Entered the Hulk, supposing to unlade her.  
But she so banged him with her Barley shot  
His legs to bear his body, quite forgot)  
And foundering in the dirty kennel laid him,  
Where many passed by, but none that stayed him:  
When wallowing with his face, late hot and fiery,  
He sings no other note, but Ala-mi-re,  
Yet to his shanks that suffered him to tumble,  
This angry speech the threatening Smith did grumble,  
Since you'll not bear me, legs, let who will mutter,  
I for this night will lodge you in the gutter.   

One good turn requires another.  

MArget doth know her Mistress is a whore,  
For she herself hath often kept the door:  
Megg is a Thief, her Mistress can protest,  
For she hath seen her rob her Master's Chest.  
But Maid (says Mistress) my abuses smother,  
And one good turn (thou knowst) requires another.   

One called a Lady whore, (which was the same,  
Yet she (though bad) stood much upon good name,  
Making a vow, unless he did submit,  
His purse should very sound pay for it.  
He to save charges, in a cunning vain  
Did thus recanting, call her whore again.  
Madame, I come, submissive unto you,  
And do confess I called you whore, 'Tis true:  
Which to recant, Sorry in troth am I,  
Your ladyship's no Whore, Madam, I lie.    

Vice reproves Wickedness.  
THere is no sinner in so vild a kind,  
But with some Vices he a fault will find.  
The Prodigal, with Covetous man being met,  
Said to him, Fie, base wretch, thou art in debt  
Unto thy belly and thy back, for both  
Do want the use of meat, and drink, and cloth:  
And thou dost only pinch, and pine, and spare,  
To hoard up money, keeping body bare,  
To cram thy bags, and fill thy gaping purse,  
Fool, beast, baseminded, none so vile, none worse.  
Quoth Covetousness, Thou spendthrift of thy state,  
Whom I detest with a most deadly hate,  
Thy fleshly carrion all consumes, and spends,  
(Besides thine own) what thou canst catch of friends.  
To eat and drink thyself in endless Debt,  
And in the end thou wilt a lodging get  
In Ludgate, or the Counter, there to lie,  
Till loathsome life constrain thee wish to dye.  
Then came a Drunkard, that could scarcely go,  
And he upon a Broker did bestow  
Outrageous raylings, cursing him to hell,  
With all that ever he should buy and sell:  
Unworthy wretch, to live in Commonwealth,  
That darest not do as I do, drink a health  
To all good fellows, that by Sea and Land  
Will pledge carouse, as long as legs can stand.  
Sirrah (quoth Broker) look you fetch your pawn,  
I will unto no longer day be drawn:  
You have had time enough to pay me in,  
And now I'll plague thee for thy drunken sin.  
Base Knave, I hate a Drunkard with my heart,  
Though I▪ with Usury will never part.  
It is the trade by which my living's,  
I'll use it still, honest, or honest not.  
Drunkard, reel on, until the Stocks possess thee,  
Broker (quoth Drunkard) Brandon's Halter bless thee.   


Instructions given to a Country Clown,  
To take Tobacco, when he comes to Town.   
A Cheater meeting with a simple Clown,  
Would give him Wine, because he knew the town,  
Where goodman Boor his countryman did dwell,  
And all his neighbours he knew passing well:  
Entering the Tavern, and the wine bespoke,  
Quoth Cheater, Bring me here a Pipe of smoke  
To purge my Rheum, by spitting to forsake it.  
Gentleman (quoth the Clown) would I could take it▪  
Says he, I'll teach thee, (do observe me here)  
To take Tobacco like a Cavaleere.  
Thus draw the vapour thorough your nose, and say,  
Puff, it is gone, fuming the smoke away.  
The Gull, that would be a Tobacconist:  
Had cup, or pipe, continual in his fist,  
Until with puff, 'tis gone, his senses shrunk,  
And he was got by practice, Claret drunk.  
The Cheater took his time, and did pretend  
To go fast by, and call a special friend  
To drink with them, and so conveys the Cup,  
And lets him sit, who takes his pipeful up,  
And smokes it off, with puff 'tis gone. Oh brave,  
The very whiff, most dainty now I have.  
At length the Drawer looked into the room,  
And said, My friend, where is the Cup become?  
He with his Pipe, the old tune plays upon,  
Oh brave Tobacco, gallant, Puff, 'tis gone.  
Gone, quoth the Vintner? by my faith an't be,  
You are the man, is like to answer me.  
Where is the friend was with you even now?  
we'll have our Cup before you go, I vow.  
He noses it, and holds the Pipe to t'other,  
And says, hay, puff, 'tis gone most bravely, Brother.  
Is't gone, quoth he? then friend, thus much I'll say,  
You have the reckoning, and a Cup to pay:  
Your puff 'tis gone, is like to cost your purse,  
The reckon's something, but the Goblet's worse.  
When all's discharged, that doth as yet remain,  
Then welcome puff, our Cup is come again.   


Such Oast, such guest, the Proverb says,  
Ill Servants choose bad Masters ways.   
A Master that delight in lies did take,  
Did keep a man, would soothe up all he spoke,  
Who being one time with Gentlemen of worth  
At dinner set, this lie he vented forth:  
It was my hap of late to make a shoot,  
And strike a Dear quite thorough ear and foot.  
This may seem strange, unto all you that hear it,  
But ask my man, he saw it, and will swear it.  
Quoth they, This is incredible: and we  
Entreat some reason, how the same could be.  
Why, quoth his Man, even as the Deer did lie,  
My Master took his aim, and letting fly,  
The Dear with hinder foot did scratch an ear,  
And he shot thorough both at once, I'll swear.  
Indeed (quoth they) thou dost some reason show,  
There's possibility it may be so,  
And laughing past it merrily away,  
At last his man in secret thus did say,  
Sir, I entreat, that if your Worship please,  
To let your friends have any more of these,  
That are so gross they lie upon your hand,  
And I unto the proof of them must stand,  
To give your Tales more scope into the weather,  
For I could hardly bring this lie together:  
The distance 'twixt the Foot and Ear was such,  
That I had much ado to make them tuch.  
Therefore in selling bargains to your buyers,  
Take heed we be not (as we are) found liars.   

Epigram.  
A Scholar riding on the way alone,  
Fearless of Coin, (for money he had none,)  
Was set upon by two, that did command  
With Thief's authority, Deliver, Stand,  
For Stand (quoth he) my masters that I'll do,  
But t' other word, I cannot yield unto,  
Which is Deliver: Pray you give me leave  
Before I do Deliver, to Receive.  
But yet I will deliver, and unfold  
Advice, that shall be better worth than gold:  
Deliver not your soul to Satan thus,  
Remember Christ, that hath redeemed us.  
Deliver not your members slaves ro sin,  
That Newgate so do entertain you in.  
Deliver not yourselves unto the Bar,  
To be condemned (as you know thiefs arr.)  
Deliver not your Necks unto the Halter,  
But from false Knaves, to honest true men alter.  
Scholar (quoth they) for this we are in debt,  
We will leave thieving, but we cannot yet.  
We are sworn Brothers for a year in troth,  
If the Rogue Hangman, do not break our oath.   

Epigram.  
MAdam, you overcharge me with expense,  
Which to my purse, I find a great offence,  
This catching fashions at the first rebound,  
I am afraid, will run your Knight a ground:  
We are in Mercer's books, and Tailor's Bills,  
And there remain (God knows) against their wills,  
No helping trick, that I to mind can call,  
But make new debts, to pay old scores withal.  
Sir Barren Brain (quoth Madam, to her Knight)  
What tell you me of charge? take I delight,  
To have account how you do run in Debt?  
My care is how to spend; care you to get.  
I do protest, I will not forth of door,  
Until our Coach have got two Horses more.  
Ride but with two? why, what says vulgar speeches?  
'Tis very basely done, You wrong your Breeches.  
And therefore, Sir, Hark private in your ear,  
Give me content, or I'll do that, I swear.   

Epigram.  
WHat was the cause we two fell out last night?  
Let's know some reason for it ere we fight,  
Though thou regard'st not thy flesh, nor I mine,  
Yet let's not be insenced by drunken wine.  
Speak, prithee speak, who gave the first distaste?  
Wert thou by me, or I by thee disgraced?  
Marry (quoth t'other) as I take it, thus:  
There was a Health refused by one of us,  
I know not which: but who did stab the chair  
Even in contempt of her that last sat there?  
Which of us first on Mistress Luce did rail?  
Who put the salt into the bottle Ale?  
And thrust the Candle in the quart of Sack?  
Who called Tom Roring-Boy behind his back?  
And broke Snels Pipes, in spite against the wall?  
This I remember very perfect all▪  
But cannot tell which of us swaggered so,  
And therefore let this scurvy quarrel go.  
Rapier, and Poniard, shall not have the day:  
Rabbit, and Pullet, they shall end the fray.