MERRY JESTS, Concerning Popes, Monks, and Friars.  
Whereby is discovered their Abuses and Errors etc.  
Written first in Italian by N. S. and thence translated into French by G. I. and now out of French into English,  
By R. W. Bac. of Arts of H.H. in Oxon.  
Omne tulit punctum, qui miscuit utile dulci.  
Printed by G. Eld. 1617.   

The Translator to the Reader.  
COurteous Reader (for so I hope to find thee) so nefande and execrable, I confess, have been the practices of the Papists in this exorbitant age of the world, as late barbarous attempts at home, & a later bloody deed abroad can well testify: that no man I think hath a tongue so Satirically invective, that he can any way make the bitterness of his speech correspondent to the cruelty of their actions. Wherefore these Apologues long since fitted to their follies, in comparison with it, may seem unto thee like Domitions pricking of flies, in regard of managing the astaires of his Empire: yet good use may be made of them in these our days. For as in former time among the Romans (who were never almost without wars) there were Ludi Circences, and Naumachiae, plays as they accounted them, but in nature consonant to their present employments; for they did both yield recreation for the present, and also excercise them against any future occasion; so in these our days of warfare against the treacheries of the Papists, after thy wiriting against their errors, or reading of grave controversies, or at least more serious consideration of their irreligious practices against us; these Apologues may serve unto thee as a recreation, and yet withal they will afford thee a manifest declaration of some of their sortish superstitions, & good arguments against them: for under a fabulous superficies, thou shalt find true substance, and in a seeming tale manifesteth truth. Wherefore as Virgil on a time having some of old Ennius his works in his hands, said to one ask him what he did, Ex Ennis stercoro aurum colligo: so mayst thou, reading in this book answer any demanding what thou dost, that thou gatherest gold out of the dust of Apologues. But (that I may come to myself) if the plainness of the translation be not pleasing to curious ears, I Apologize for myself two ways; first, that mine Author shall excuse me, whom I so followed as one intending to translate, and not to make a new. Secondly, (wherein also I excuse mine Author) that the form of the Apologues is such, namely, a relation of Dialogues, where inquam and inquit is oft inferred, that it could not be otherwise. Yet as gold is not to be refused, because it is digged out of the earth, nor pearls, because they are found in the sands: so I hope these witty conceits, will not be distasteful to any, although they be not related in curious terms; and that I shall not deserve dispraise in imitating him in words, of whom I borrowed the subject of my speech. And so committing myself & my translation to thy censure, I commit thee and myself to him that will censure us both: wishing thee as thou likest this first book, so to expect more of me hereafter.  
Thine, as thou art mine, Rowland Willet.   

To the Reader.  
We thought the Tuscans are more strange than true,  
Which by the new found Perspective descried  
Far off smooth-seeming Luna's rougher hue,  
Which simple ignorance had long belied:  
See here this Glass o'er Alps & clouds detects  
Rome's long-maskt Mconelike tumours & defects.   

W. R. to R. W.  
WOuldst know the vulgar censure of thy book?  
Or how the Apists Will thy fables take?  
He tell in brief, the first like Boys will brook  
Thy wholesome pills but for the gild sake:  
The last will put thee on the tenter book,  
And wink at that their sottish selves did make,  
Crying as once did the Athenians sad,  
Democritus by his laughing sure is mad.  
But when Hipocrates that learned sage  
Shall feel thy temperate pulse and know whence springs  
Thy laughter, he will cry, the Romans rage,  
Democritus is wise, the Pope and Popelings  
All are mad, who sell the heavenly heritage,  
While they themselves float on the devils wings;  
The Cordelier is mad who wears on's coat  
The rope, which better would become his throat.  
H. I.   

H.I. to R.W.  
IF painful Merchants who have ventured far  
To bring home treasure from a foreign Land  
Deserve great praise and justly honoured are,  
How can thy book but of the public band,  
Win general applause, though at the bar  
Of envy and her brood thy worth should stand?  
With 2▪ strange tongues thou deckest thy mother's tongue  
Merchants but fat the land with foreign dung!   

To R. W.  
'tIs true Italienated English men,  
Are by the Proverb still d incarnate devils▪  
But this Italian English by my pen,  
Contains a million of infernal evils,  
Of Popes, Monks, Cardinals, and Nuns ye tell.  
These are the fiends I mean and bags of hell.  
I. S.   

To the Papist Reader.  
Tush (will the Popish Reader say) theyare lies,  
Professed Apologues, slanders, all may see:  
I grant 'tis so; And yet as I surmise,  
'tis with a matter of truth ye slandered be.  
Your truest Legends are but tales Canonised,  
Your serious works ridiculous to view:  
His falsest tales are stories but misprised,  
And why may not the man which laughs speak true.  

Only for this untruth I must him blame,  
In that he gives the truth a liars name:  
Only in this I needs must say he fails,  
And tells a tale in that he calls them tales.   
I. H.   

The Translator to the Reader.  
IF that a jury do condemn or quit,  
Our judges and our Laws allow of it:  
And none is found so peevish and perverse,  
To go about their verdicts to reverse.  
A friendly juries censure here you see,  
Which of reproof doth quit my book and me:  
Then none I hope devoid of herese,  
Will either me dispraise, or it despise.  
But if the Papists rail, and Pope do curse,  
He bless again, not think myself the worse.  
Nor let men think these Apologues are lies,  
Being grounded on Authentic histories,  
As I m part, the learned well can tell;  
Then Reader be a friendly judge; farewell.  
R. W.   

MERRY JESTS of Popes, monks, and Friars: Wherein are discovered the Abuses of the Pope and his followers.  

The first Apologue, in which is showed, not only that the Pope may err in faith, but also what is the faith of Popes and their Prelates.  
A Roman Courtier, in a certain conference, said, that the Pope might err in faith: for which he was presently apprehended, and sent unto prison. And because he was a man of great credit, the Pope sent one of his Cardinals to cramine him; and he not only constantly maintained his former speeches, but also said again in the Cardinal's presence: that the Pope might err in faith; the Cardinal told him that he was as heretic to believe it. But he answering, said, what if I have known wherein the Pope did err in faith, shall I be accounted an heretic for believing the truth? wherein (said the Cardinal) have you perceived that the Pope did err in faith; Pope Paul (said he) on a time, as he was at dinner, said in my hearing, to many yet living, whom I can produce for witnesses, that he believed that he should recover Placentia before he died, but yet died before he recovered it; therefore I am persuaded that he did err, and was deceived in faith. Then the Cardinal answered and said, we thought that you had spoke of the faith in spiritual things; no (said the Courtier) I spoke only of faith in matters of this world, for as touching the faith in things which appertain unto God, so far am I from knowing whether he err or not, that I am altogether ignorant whether the Popes, or you their Prelates have any belief at all.   

The 2. Apologue by which is showed that the Pope cannot deliver souls out of Purgatory.  
IN the time of Bourbon, Pope Clement being afraid, withdrew himself together with some of the Prelates which were his friends, into the Castle of the Holy Angel, & being there as it were shut up in prison, a Roman Gentleman said; until this time I have always believed that the Pope could deliver souls out of Purgatory, but seeing that at this present he cannot deliver himself, and his dear friends out of prison, I am constrained to believe, that he is much less able to deliver souls out of Purgatory,   

The 3. Apologue, by which is discovered the folly of Priests and Monks, who pray unto God singing.  
A Certain Priest went unto Rome so beg a Benefice which was void, and such good friends he had, that he was permitted to enter into the Consistory, the Pope and Cardinals being there assembled, where devoutly falling down upon his knees he began to demand the Benefice singing after the same manner he was went to sing the Litany: saying with a loud voice: Most holy Father, I humbly crave such a Benefice, hear me I beseech you: then turning himself towards the Cardinals, and naming them one after another (singing as he did before) he said, Most reverent Lord (such a one) pray for me that I may obtain the Benefice, which I desire of the Pope. They hearing this began all to laugh, being notwithstanding very angry with him, because they thought that he had mocked them. Wherefore the master of the Ceremonies went unto him and reprehended him, saying, that he ought to ask that which he would have with greater reverence: to whom he answered and said, I know not how to desire a favour of the Pope and Cardinals with greater reverence and devotion, then with the same wherewith the Popes (who as we hold cannot err) have taught me to beg things heedful for me, of Christ, the Apostles, and other Saints. And because, when I would have any thing of Christ, or of the Saints, I pray for it singing (as the Popes have taught us to do in the Letanics) I should never have imagined that it had been ill to do as I have done. At this they all laughed, and granted his request.   

The 4. Apologue, by which is showed what force the Councils have, as also, upon what the Popedom is founded.  
POpe Paul on a time exhorted some of his Prelates to study the holy Scriptures, that at the Councils they might be able to overthrow and confound the reasons and arguments of the Lutherans; and one of them said it is needless that we should take so much pains in vain, and to no purpose, seeing that your Holiness may easily, and with a few words annihilate them all. When the Pope asked him by what means & he answered, in not accepting, but reproving, and condemning, as heresy all that they shall say contrary to your profit. The Pope confessed that indeed that was true, but nevertheless he thought it good that they thence showed some reasons which moved him thereunto, as also that the Popedom and doctrine thereof had good foundation. It is not best for us (said the Prelate) to read the Scriptures to that purpose, for they are contrary unto us; but we must betake ourselves to your and our decrees. Decretals, and extravagants: then the Pope answered and said, although nothing may be directly had out of the Scriptures, yet it is, good to study them, that when need shall require, we may be able to cavil, and wrest them to our purpose, and fantasy.   

The 5. Apologue, whereby is showed that Simony is a sinful thing, and whose successors the Pope's Prelates are.  
A Certain Roman made his confession (of some matters which must not be spoken of) to a Confessor in the Temple of S. Peter in Rome; but the Confessor would not absolve him, unless he would give him ten Crowns: wherefore the Roman said, Gratis accepistis gratis date, freely you have received, freely give. To this the Confessor answered he lies in his throat, who either saith, or will say these words: for I had not this office gratis, but I bought it, and it cost me more than an hundred Crowns. Then the Roman said, do you not know that these are the words of jesus Christ, will you say that Christ doth lie? To this the Confessor answered, although these words are his, he spoke them not to us, for we can at no time have of the Pope the least office, Benefice, or favour that is without money: wherefore you must address yourselves to the Apostles, to whom Christ spoke these words. It is true said the Roman, he spoke to them indeed, but he also meant thereby all that should succeed them: If it be so (said the Confessor) we are not the Apostles successors, but theirs who bought and sold in the Temple.   

The 6. Apologue, by which is discovered the folly of those who believe in Relics and worship them.  
A Priest of Geneva moved with devotion, traveled to visit certain holy places, and after a time returned home again, but with much less devotion than he had before, and with his purse quite empty. And being asked of many where the Relics were which he had brought to regain the money which he had spent in his journey? after a little deliberation he answered, that he had brought two most excellent and most holy Relics: and began to tell of them (but secretly) to his friends, entreating them that they would not speak openly of them, for fear lest they should be taken from him by the Signeurie, withal promising them that if they would be secret, he would impart the sight of them, so that they would make him some contribution towards his great expenses in procuring them; finally many being desirous to see them gave him money: and then he (having before ordered his business) drew forth a piece of silk, a goodly pair of Dreshornes, and holding them up, said unto the people, that he had brought them from mount Sina, and that they were the horns wherewith Moses descended from thence, after he had ended his speeches with God. Then taking a viol in his hand, he said that therein was contained the breath of jesus Christ reserved by his mother when he was a little one; and that he had now brought it from Bethleem: He had no sooner finished these things, but all the City was full of the news, so that he was presently called before the signory & demanded whether it were true that he had brought with him Moses' horns, and the breath of Christ? and he answered that it was true: then they asked him if he were not ashamed to make men worship a pair of horns: If you (said the Priest) are not ashamed to make men worship and fall down before the tail of the Ass on which Christ road on Palm Sunday; Ought I to think it a shame to make men worship these glorious horns of Moses? & dost thou believe (said one of the Seigneurie that these are the very horns of Moses, and that in this viol there is the very breath of jesus Christ Then he answered and said I do as verily believe that in this viol is the breath of jesus Christ, and that these are the horns of Moses; as I believe that to be the milka of the Virgin Mary, which is in your viols, which you say is hers, making men reverence and worship it as an holy Relic. When he had: thus said, they let him go.   

The 7. Apologue, in which is showed the folly of many, who laugh when they should weep, and weep when they should laugh.  
POpe julius the third, on the day of his coronation, made a great feast, especially for the Ladies of S. Peter's Palace; amongst which there was one who said, we women are the veriest fools in the world, and being asked why? she answered, because when jesus Christ went to be crucified, he went to his sovereign triumph over sin, death, and hell, to the great glory of his heavenly father, and to our salvation, and perfect happiness, and then we wept, and made great lamentation: but now on the contrary at this man's coronation, whence will proceed the great dishonour of God, and the certain ruin and destruction of many Christian souls, we pass the time in feasts and merriment,   

The 8 Apologue, in which is showed plainly that there is no Purgatory.  
THere was in Rome an excellent and learned preacher; of whom Pope Paul the third (as of one in whom he put great confidence) demanded on a time secretly, whether he did believe that the Pope had (as men said) so great power and authority over Purgatory that he could thence set at liberty all the souls therein, and cause that none should ever come thither again? but the preacher durst not boldly speak his mind herein, and would by no means say any thing against his own conscience, and therefore remained in doubt. Wherefore the Pope (perceiving it) gave him encouragement, saying that he would have him speak his mind freely, without fear, or rather respect. Then seeing that the Pope desired to know the truth, he answered that he had no power at all over Purgatory. Again (perceiving that the Pope did greatly wonder at his words) he said thus unto him; Holy Father, had your Predecessors as great power and authority as you, or had they less? the Pope made answer that it was equal to his: then (replied the Preacher) if they had as great power as you, and by the same were able at any time to empty Purgatory, as you suppose yourself able to do, it is fit we believe that among so many Popes, some one was found so full of charity to free all souls thence for ever. The Pope answered that he could not tell that. But (said the Preacher) I know this well, that jesus Christ the Sovereign Priest, hath of himself infinite charity and power; and seeing that with his own proper blood he hath truly and for ever purged the souls of his elect, what need have they of any other purgation? wherefore I know not what that power is, whereof you brag and boast so much.   

The 9 Apologue, by which is showed the great ambition of the Pope's Prelates, & the means they have to come unto dignity.  
POpe Paul the third, being asked of his kinsmen by what means he did ascend to the Papal dignity? answered and said, we came unto it by showing that by the course of nature our time in this life could be but short, and that we with patience had long expected it; by exquisite practices, by liberal promises, by bragging what great friends we had to terrify the Cardinals if they did not elect us to be Pope: and finally by subtle sleights, and a large conscience.   

The 10. Apologue, by which is in part discovered the avarice and superstition of the Priests and Monks.  
A Rich Seigneur of Paris, being very sick the thief of all the Religious in the city went at several times to visit him, more indeed respecting the gifts and rewards they hoped for at his hands, than his soul's safety. And the Cordeliers exhorted him to call upon and put his trust in S. Francis, the jacobins in S. Dominicke: and the other in those Saints of whose order they were Monks The Priest likewise exhorted him that he would commend himself into the hands of S. Peter, or of the Saint to whom their Church was didicated. The Noble man perceiving this diversity▪ caused them all to be sent for, and to be assembled into his Chamber, and then said thus unto them. When I first fell sick, I caused all the Physicians in the City to come unto me: and they could not agree among themselves to give me a medicine, because that every one of them, to seem more learned than the rest, reproved all that the other would have given me, & counseled me to take that which he would administer unto me. Therefore calling them together, I said unto them, every one of you would have me take the Physic which he hath ordained for me, now if I should take all, they would bring my body into worse estate than it is already if not kill me, and if I should resolve to take but one, I know not which to choose: wherefore you shall go into this next chamber, from whence you shall not come, until you do agree to give me a medicine approved of you all to be the best; then the Physicians, knowing that long fasting would bring danger to their own bodies, did quickly consent and brought me physic; assuring me that it was far better, and more agreeable to my malady then any they would before have given me. Now in like manner, you being come to medicine my soul, are different among yourselves; for every one of you doth exhort me to call upon such a Saint, and I, by reason of my great sickness and debelity of body, am not able to make prayers particularly to so many. Therefore go you into the physicians Chamber, and assure yourselves that ye shall not come forth thence until you tell me all with one accord, to whom especially and only I ought to commend myself for my soul's safety. Then the Priests, and Monks, perceiving themselves likely to fall into two inconveniences, that they must either yield one to another, which they would by no means do, or else be oppressed with hunger, which their gluttonous paunches could not endure, found out a third way to avoid both; which was, that seeing none of them had made mention of jesus Christ, they would exhort the sick man to commend himself to him alone. Which when they had done, the noble man demanded of them, whether they all judged it much better for him to commend himself into the hands of jesus Christ, then of any of the Saints? and they all answered that it was better. If you are so persuaded (said he) why had you not said as much at the beginning? Is it possible that (when you exhorted me to call upon your Saints) you should be so ignorant, that you knew, it not more expedient for me that I commended myself wholly and only to jesus Christ? Get ye hence, get ye hence, you are a company of murderers, thieves, and wicked fellows, fraughted with avarice, lying and hypocrisy: and so with great disgrace, he commanded them to be thrust out at the doors.   

The 11. Apologue, by which is showed that the Pope ought not to be Bishop of Rome.  
POpe julius the third on a day wrote unto the Emperor, entreating him that he would be content to make a King of Naples in Italy, a king of Cicelie, and a Duke of Milan, on this condition that they should do homage and pay tribute to his Majesty: alleging this reason, that he was Emperor and King of Kings, and therefore ought not to be besides a particular King, and Duke also. To this Caesar answered, that he was content to do so, if that he in like manner would resign the Bishopric of Rome to another, the which, by his own reason he ought to do, contenting himself to be Pope, and universal Bishop of Bishops (as he himself said he was) and not to be the particular Bishop of Rome also. But he was assured that the Pope would never yield thereto, knowing well, that if he left off to be Bishop of Room, the world would no more hold him to be Pope, and Sovereign over them as now it did being abused by his greatness.   

The 12. Apologue, by which is showed the superstition of some of the commandments of the Pope.  
THere was a Bishop of Denmark, who because he dwelled far from Rome, and that divers occasions might happen in his Bishopric to cause him to send to the Pope; did for a thousand crowns buy the Pope's whole authority, with this proviso, that he should use the farce no farther than the precincts of his own Dicresse: notwithstanding he so behaved himself: that complaints of him were brought unto Rome, so that the Pope cited him to make his personal appearance before him, and the Bishop at the day appointed was present. Now because that he was a man of great authority, the Pope held the Articles whereof he was accused in his own hands, and examined him before all the Prelates, saying, we have understood that you have charged your people with many new fasts ordained by you, as if ours were not sufficient, but that you must supply our imperfections: and you (said the Bishop) have grieved the people with fasts ordained by you, as if that the temperance and sobriety given unto men by God were not sufficient, but unperfect, unless you added something thereunto. Again said the Pope, we gave you our authority, to the end that you should make men observe our ordinances, and not to forge a new Christianity: so (said the Bishop) jesus Christ hath given his authority unto you▪ to this end and purpose, that you should cause men to keep his commandments, and not by adding yours thereunto, to make a new Christian religion. We should have liked it well (said the Pope) if for the good of your Church, you had made any statute or ordinance, so that you had not also made the breach thereof a mortal sin, but you have obliged the people thereunto upon pain of eternal death, and which is more, have more severely punished the transgressors of your commandments then the transgressors of ours. In like manner (said the Bishop) if you had ordained any indifferent thing for the commodity of your Church, and not tied men to the keeping thereof under pain of damnation, it had not been displeasing to God: but you on the contrary have decreed that whosoever will not observe your commandments, shall go to hell; and do inflict more grievous punishment on those which transgress your ordinances, then on those which break the commandments of God; wherefore I have followed you, as your good and obedient son. Then the Pope said again unto him, but wherefore have you commanded, that in your fasts the people shall drink but once? If you (said the Bishop) have ordained, that in your fasts men shall eat but once; why may not I having all your authority (so that I can by no means err) command that they drink but once in mine? but were it not much better (said the Pope) that they drank three or four times, rather than pour down so much at once to make their eyes stare, and their bellies crack again? So (said the Bishop) they who eat but once in your fasts do so gorge themselves that their bellies are even ready to break, and were it not much more profitable for the health of their bodies, if they made three or four moderate repasts of that which they gourmundize at once? But what folly is it of you (said the Pope) that in your fasts you have wholly denied bread? what would you have them eat? And what I pray you (said the Bishop) hath moved you to forbid the use of flesh, and eggs, and milk in your fasts? what would you have them eat in those days? Other things (said the Pope) ordained for their sustenance; men may likewise live without bread (said the Bishop.) But if need be (said the Pope) I permit the use of flesh, so they pay me for it. So I (said the Bishop) suffer my people to eat bread if they will buy a licence of me. But bread (said the Pope is a creature ordained by God for the sustenance of man's life; so (replied the Bishop) is flesh created of God for the benefit of men, yet you notwithstanding have forbidden it. The Pope was now at the end of his roll, and for a conclusion added this. There is one thing more, which indeed hath offended us more than all the rest, which is, that when any of your subjects being grieved by your strange ordinance, do fly unto us for succour and refuge, you confiscate all their goods, yea and put them to death also, if they fall into your hands. That also (said the Bishop) I learned of you Holy Father; for if any one oppressed by your intolerable impositons, have recourse to God, hoping through faith only to obtain remission of his sins; you cause him to be burned, because he did not beg absolution of the Priests and Monks by you ordained; accounting him an heretic, who puts all his trust in God only through jesus Christ his well-beloved son, our only saviour and advorate. Well to conclude, the Pope would have punished him, but that the Bishop showed he could not do it, but he must much condemn himself thereby, and greatly derogate from his authority, for (said he) seeing I have done nothing, but I did it as I was Pope, and by the authority which you have given me, if you punish me, it will follow, that the Pope as he is Pope may err, and by consequence the Popdome will lose much of its credit and reputation. The Pope was advised that he spoke the truth. Wherefore he commanded him to renounce his presentment to the Popdome, and to resign his authority, which he would not do, aleadging that the Popdome was his, for he had well bought it, than the Pope offered to restore his thousand crowns, which he paid for it: but the Bishop would not accept of them, both by reason of the great gains he made thereof, as also for the great honour he received thereby. Finally, the Pope seeing no remedy, did earnestly entreat him, that he would govern himself so wisely in his affairs, that no tumult or controversy might thence arise▪ and so after great feasting, with many kind and friendly farewells, he sent him back again into his own country.   

The 13. Apologue, wherein is showed the original of the Popedom.  
AS some were talking of the controversies betwixt the Lutherans and the Pope: one said that at the Council of Trent the Lutherans would sure ruinated the Popedom, for they would show plainly that there was never any Bishop of Rome rightly Pope, and prove not only by histories, but also by the holy Scriptures, that S. Peter was never at Rome, and therefore could not leave the Popedom to the Bishops of Rome, which jesus Christ (if men will believe it) left unto him: but another answered him, and said, if they have no other reasons, they can never bring their enterprise to pass, for to overthrow the Popdome they must prove, not that S. Peter was never at Rome, but rather that the great Devil of hell was never there: and then it will necessarily follow, that no Bishop of Rome was Pope, seeing that, not S. Peter, but the Devil brought the Popedom thither: now because they shall never be able to prove that the Devil hath not been at Rome, which is the chief and principal City where the Devil keeps his residence, it follows that by this means, they cannot ruinated the Popedom.   

The 14. Apologue, by which is showed that the Pope as Pope, may err.  
IT happened on a time as Pope Clement was at dinner, that certain of the Monks disputed in his presence, whether the Pope might err or no? and after long disputations they concluded that he might err as he was man, but not as Pope; and the Pope giving ear unto them said, you are dissembling flatterers, for we err daily in many things, & nevertheless we are Pope still. Then one of them answering said, that when he erred it was as he was man, and not as Pope; to whom the Pope replied thus: when we bestow bishoprics, it is certain that we do it as Pope, and yet therein we often err in conferring them on wicked persons, esteeming them to be honest men. To this the Monks knew not what to answer having not only the truth, but also the Pope himself against them.   

The 15. Apologue, by which is showed that the Pope ought not to have dominion in the temporal estate.  
THe Emperor on a time demanded of Pope Paul, whether the same man might lawfully be both Pope and Emperor? The Pope fearing least that the Emperor (who was then without a wife) would make himself Pope also, said that it could not be, alleging many reasons for it, especially this, that a man could not at the same time well govern things spiritual, and temporal both. Then the Emperor said, and why then will you be both Pope and Emperor, and in sign thereof not only use the Mitre as Pope, but also the Imperial Diadem as Emperor? Leave off therefore (as it is fit, the Dominion, and government of the temporal estate, and let it suffice you to be Pope: this if you will do of your own accord, I shall take it kindly, and enrich and exalt your kindred to great dignity; and the succeeding Popes shall be so weak, that they shall not be able to hurt them; but if you will not do it in kindness, we shall be constrained to make you do it by force. The Pope understanding this purposed to give his son Peter Joys all the lands of the Church, and was about to give him Parma and Placentia, but his enterprise was hindered both by the Council, as also by the loss of Placentia, and the death of his son, but especially by his own death, so that he could not revenge himself of the Emperor as he had determined.   

The 16 Apologue, by which is discovered the excessive pride and folly of the Popes.  
Certain men were talking of Princes, Kings and Emperors, and one of them said, that their greatness did cause that many were found amongst them so proud, that they did forget themselves to be but men, and so made their folly known unto the world; but I pray you, said another of the company, was ever any of them known so proud and deneid of wit, and discretion, that they persuaded themselves, that they were Gods, as the Pope's esteem themselves to be.   

The 17. Apologue, in which is showed the vanity and folly of those which place their Daughters in Monasteries.  
THere was a Gentleman of Sienes, who (bring not able to give a great dowry with his daughter) was determined to place her in a Monastery; and first communicating his purpose with a friend of his, he said, I would willingly marry my daughter, but without the utter ruin of my estate, I am not able to disburse a thousand Florins, and therefore I am determined to place her in a Monastery. But his friend said unto him, you shall spend much more in making her a Nun; for first you must pay to the Monastery two hundredth Florins for her dowry, and afterward you shall spend so much in habits, surplices, mochovirs, veils, Images of our Lady, ornaments of her Chamber, with many other curiosities, & which is more in a sumptuous Banquet first when she is invested, secondly when she professeth, that you shall find no end; wherefore all being well considered, you shall, find that with much less damage to your estate, you may marry your Daughter to some honest man, according to the ordinance of God, then contrary to the same, prostitute and abandon her to those adulterous Monks, who burn continually with the fire of concupiscence as they well deserve: because they vow chastity which is not in their power, and contemme the remedy which God of his grace hath given to the human kind against this concupiscence, which is the holy marriage instituted of God in Paradise, and honoured by the presence of our Lord jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee, where he did his first miracle. This counsel so well pleased the Gentleman that he resolved to marry his daughter.   

The 18. Apologue, by which is showed us what commonly is the pride of the Pope, and faith of his Prelates.  
A Cardinal being sick, and likely to die, made his confession; and his Confessor amongst other things demanded of him whether he had worshipped one God alone? And he answered and said, knowing well that I ought to worship but one God and one Christ; and seeing that the Pope is God and Christ on earth, for fear lest I should worship two Gods and two Christ's, I have abandoned the invisible God in heaven, and in his stead have adored the visible God on earth, and therefore have always worshipped the Pope as my God and Christ, and on him have grounded all my faith and hope, him have I honoured, loved, feared, praised, magnified and glorified as my God. Then the Confessor said that there was but one God and one Christ, and that the Pope was neither God nor Christ: although indeed the abused world did account him as his Vicar. When he had thus spoken the Cardinal cried out upon him, and said thou art a fool and a very heretic too, if thou believest that the Pope is Christ's Vicar on earth, for than it would necessarily follow that jesus Christ were greater than the Pope; but on the contrary I would thou shouldst well know, that if jesus Christ should come visibly to Rome, the Pope would not entertain him, if he did not first humble himself before him, acknowledging him to be his superior, yea and also kiss his Pantosle.   

The 19 Apologue, by which is showed the great men of the world, what they ought to do.  
A Cerretan, or seller of pardons, arrived at a city, with authority to deliver souls out of Purgatory, and many went unto him to obtain this deliverance. Wherefore the Governor of the City communded him to show his bulls, and when he perceived by them that he had all the power of the Pope, he, demanded of him how many souls he could deliver out of Purgatory? The Cerretan answered, that the power of the Pope (which he had) was infinite, and that by the same he could deliver as many souls as were in Purgatory, although they were in number infinite: and moreover, that he could preserve all from coming thither, which should at any time deserve to be tormented there. Then the Governor said unto him, for how many crowns wilt thou deliver all the souls of those which either are dead or shhall hereafter die within my jurisdiction? And be demanded two hundred crowns, (contenting himself to gain four hundred by the bargain, for the odd hundred he had disbursed for the bulls, and authority which he had bought of the Pope) the Governor was contented with the price and paid him the money, and caused him to make a public and authentic acknowledgement of the sale. Then presently he let the Priests and Monks which were his subjects understand how the matter went: advertising them that they should no more take pains to read their Breuíere, nor to say Masses and prayers for those which either were dead or should at any time die within his liberties: but that they should pray only for the living, or if they would pray for the dead, that they should pray for those only which died out of his dominions, (but thee knew well enough that they would pray for none but those they were paid for.) Then he caused the yearly donatives and gifts which his Subjects had subjects had bestowed for saying of Masses, and Services for the dead to be brought unto him, and therewithal (converting it to a good use) he built an Hospital for the poor and maintained a great number therein for the revenues were very great.   

The 20. Apologue, whereby is showed the folly of them who believe that the councils cannot err.  
Certain judges on a day went and visited their Bishop, and finding him very busy in the study of the holy Scriptures, they demanded of him why he did so trouble and weary himself with study? Because said he, I must go to the Council of Trent, where we must judge not of things which concern the goods, life, and honour of men, as you do in your judgements, but of things which concern the safety of men's souls. You are unwise (said the judges unto him) to study for that purpose, seeing that when you are at the Council, you cannot err in your determinations; (for the councils cannot err.) If that we temporal judges were as sure that we could not err in our judgements, we would never study the laws, than the Bishop said unto them. Ye say true indeed, and for that cause many of us Bishops who come to the Counsels are very ignorant and unlearned: but I study that I may be able to confer and talk with other men of matters which shall be presented unto us, or have been heretofore objected by the Lutherans for although we cannot err in our public determinations, it doth not follow that we cannot err in our private talks, and conference: nay if you were there present, ye should hear not only differences and dissensions amongst us, but also manifest contradictions. The judges said unto him, that for all this he did ill to study, seeing that by how much the more learnedly and truly he spoke of jesus Christ, by so much the more he should be esteemed a Lutheran.   

The 21. Apologue, whereby is showed the folly of them who believe in the Pope.  
IN the time of Pope Boniface the seventh who was very wicked, as commonly the rest of the Popes are) there was in Rome a foolish and wicked fellow possessed with such a frenzy that he thought himself to be the Pope's Lieutenant wherefore going up and down Rome, he would brag that he had all the Pope's authority: so that all laughed at his folly, except one Roman Gentleman who believed him, and there upon bought of him divers offices and livings; which when the Citizens understood they began to mock and laugh at him more than at the fool, saying unto him that he had less wit than the other, because he believed him; withal showing him certain reasons why he should not give credit to the fools words, as first because he showed no warrant, or authentic testimony from the Pope; secondly, because the Pope was then present at Room, so that he could well execute his office in his own person, and therefore it was not likely that he would ordain a Vicar in his place: Lastly, that if the Pope would make one, he would by no means substitute such a wicked fool as this fellow was to exercise his authority in his stead. But the Gent. answered them and said, by your own reasons ye are better fools than I, in that you believe that this Boniface is the Vicar of jesus Christ: for first ye have no warrant or testimony for it from the holy Scriptures, which are the word of God. Again, ye know well that jesus Christ in spirit is always present with his Church, so that he can well rule and govern it himself. Thirdly, if he would have another govern in his place, without all doubt to an office and government of such great importance, he would never have chosen such a foolish and wicked man, as this Pope Boniface is. These reasons so well pleased them all, and were found so sufficient, that presently they drove the Pope out of Rome. But indeed men were at that time wiser, than any that live in these our days.   

The 22 Apologue, in which is declared the impiety of them who commit the charge of souls to unworthy persons.  
THere was on a time at Rome a Cardinal of Germany, who entreated a learned Doctor who then lived at Rome, that he would undertake the charge of instructing his sons, offering him for his pains five hundred crowns by the year. And being asked by the Doctor when he would send them to Rome? he answered that he would not send them thither at all: then (said the Doctor) it is unpossible that I should be their master, for I have determined never to leave Rome; I care not (said the Cardinal) whether you be present with them or no, so that you will only bear the name of being their Master. That condition the Doctor willingly accepted: wherefore the Cardinal, as one very joyful thereat, went presently and recounted all to the Pope, saying, he now thought himself well eased of a great charge; but the Pope laughing at him, said, what profit, I pray you, will arise to your Children from such a Master who will never be with them, by this you show the small love that you bear unto them. Then the Cardinal answered and said, you show much less love to your spirituail Children, in that you appoint Italians and other strangers to be Pastors over the poor Germans, who notwithstanding never come at us; insomuch that many of them know not where their bishoprics lie; and yet things which concern the soul are of far greater consequence than letters: moreover I have provided for my children a master who is a learned man, and well able to teach and instruct them: but you ordain to be Bishops over the People, those who are not only sinful, and wicked, but also unlearned and ignorant beasts: wherefore if I in this case have not satisfied my duty, assure yourself that you much less satisfy yours, in placing such Pastors (or rather Wolves) over the sheep of jesus Christ: the Pope knew not what to answer, but being very angry, bade him departed out of his sight.   

The 23. Apologue, by which is discovered the foolish presumption of them, who teach new rules and manners of living like Christians.  
POpe julius the second, having caused the Church of S. Peter to be pulled down with an intent to re-edify it after a more beautiful and stately manner, commanded a portrait thereof to be drawn by the chiefest Architect and contriver of buildings which was then to be found, which he did so exactly that the Pope liked well of it as soon as he saw it, and gave charge that the foundation of the building should be laid according thereunto. Now at the same time, there were certain Master Carpenters, who knew how to make nothing well, unless it were a Box or a Coffir, or such small matters, yet notwithstanding did so much presume of themselves, that every one of them did undertake to draw a several Platform of S. Peter's Church; which being compared with the former, resembled rather little cottages than any thing else. Finally every one being desirous that the Pope should approve his for good, and build the Church according to it, made such means that the Pope had the sight of them; but he mocking at their foolish presumption said, unto them, our purpose is to build but one Church and therefore one platform will suffice, and already we have procured one, which, we think to be absolute; what therefore would you have us do with your cabins? then the Carpenters answered and said, Holy Father, you know that there is but one Church of God, and jesus Christ the Sovereign master and builder thereof, hath given it an absolute and most perfect form, and rule of living as Christians ought to do, approved even of you Popes to be very good, and nevertheless you receive and approve other rules and forms of living, made by Basill, Benet, Dominicke, Francis, and many other, who have presumed so far (at least as the monks would have men believe) as to add their foolish inventions & human traditions to the most perfect rule of the commandments of our Lord and only lawmaker jesus Christ: why therefore will not youreceive and allow of the platforms, and portraites which we have drawn? But the Pope made answer that theirs was nothing worth, because they did not serve (as the other did) either to the augmentation, or preservation of the Popedom.   

The 24 Apologue, wherein are condemned human rules and commandments touching spiritual living, together with a demonstration of the evil which proceedeth thence.  
IN the year of jubilee, two holy men went unto Rome, to see if it were true (as they had heard) that there were so many hypocrisies, superstitions, Idolatries, and impieties? And that they might be the better resolved, they went unto Cardinal Chietie, as to the fountain of all, and demanded of him what a man ought to do to be saved? and he answered that he ought to enter into his religion. As, said they, there is but one Christ one Gospel, one law of God, one Baptism, and one faith: so there is but one true Religion, which is that of jesus Christ. Then the Cardinal answered, I would have him enter into my religion, without departing from that of Christ; that cannot be (replied the other) for the Conuentual Friars of S. Francis, the Friars of S. Francis, the Friars of the Observance, and of the love of God, the Friars of S. Clare, and the Boscaines', and the Cabuchines, have all one same rule of S. Francis, and yet the same person cannot at the same time be of two of these religions, and then how can one at the same time be of Christ's religion and yours. seeing the rule of yours is repugnant to that of Christ? that is as much to say, as that a Dunke of S. Francis may be at the same time a Chartreuse also, which is a thing unpossible, for as much as their orders are not only different, but in many things quite contrary. Then the Cardinal said, although the rule of my religion be different from that of Christ, yet is it not contrary: but (said they) the rule of jesus Christ is so perfect, that nothing can be added thereunto, for we ran do no good work to the glory of God but we are obliged unto it, by the most perfect law of God, which commandeth us to honour him above all things, in all places, at all times, and by all means possible: wherefore if your religion being (according to your own speeches) different from that of Christ, do command any thing which you are not tied to do by the law of God, it followeth that it is all nought, seeing that God hath commanded all things which are good. Now that those things which you command beside the commandments of God are all bad, and wicked, yea and contrary to those things which God commandeth, it appeareth plainly, for you forbidden your sect to preach, and Christ would have the Gospel preached in season and out of season: you would not have them labour, and take pains, and God commandeth that we should get our bread with the sweat of our brows: you exempt them from their obedience to their Parents, Princes, and other Magistrates, and God commands the contrary, that we honour our fathers and mothers, and be obedient to the higher powers; you forbidden them to marry, although they have not the gift of contineutie, but God on the contrary invits men to holy marriage; you command them to abide always in the Monastery, although they be endued with good gifts from above to do some good and holy work abroad: and so of all your ceremonies, where with men being fast bound they are deprived of the true spiritual Christian liberty, and in nothing subject and obedient to God, and the holy spirit. The Cardinal knew not what to answer, but said, that although their words were true, yet the Pope could dispense with all, and so he bade them farewell.   

The 25. Apologue, whereby are showed the sottish frenzies of the monks and Nuns,  
THe Ambassador of Sultan being at Florence, demanded on a day of Laurence de Medicis, why he could not see fools running up and down the streets of Florence? as he had seen commonly in other Cities? And he answered and said because we keep all our fools locked up in divers places, according to the adversity of their frenzies: and then leading him forth of Florence, he showed him divers Monasteries of Monks, and Nuns, saying unto him, that therein dweiled all their he and she fools: And after the Ambassador had seen them and those also which were within the City, he did exceedingly wonder at the great number of fools: and especially that so many, and so different frenzies could enter into the brain of man.   

The 26. Apologue, where in is discovered the great ignorance of some of the Pope's Prelates.  
THe Reverend Fathers of the Council of Trent, disputed among themselves about Peter's supremacy of the Church; endeavouring to prove by the words of our Lord jesus Christ to Peter, when he said, Thou art Cephas, that the Pope was head of the Church, but some of them said that it could not be thereby proved, because that Cephas was a Syriac word and did signify (firm) or a (stone) but there was one, who bearing great affection to the French Tongue, said unto them, you know not what you say, for Christ in that place doth not speak in the Synacke but in the French tongue, wherein Chef signifieth (a head) and though he said Cephas, yet is it pronounced Chephas, so that he spoke both French and Latin.   

The 27. Apologue, by which is showed the original of the Popedom, and now it came to be so great.  
ONe demanded of his friend, what was the Original of the Popedom, and how it did increase to such an extraordinary greatness? And the other answered and said; the Emperor Phoca planted it, the Kings of France did water it, and the Devil of Hell hath given it increase: but little ones shall cut it down, and simple ones shall make it into Faggots, and jesus Christ will consume it by the fire of his holy spirit.   

The 28. Apologue, by which is showed the great pride of the Popish Bishops.  
THere was a Bishop who had been a diligent and learned Preacher; he being abroad in his Diocese in the Lent, was entreated by many, that he would give them a Sermon as he was wont; but he answered and said; these twenty years or there about I have taken great pains in preaching, only that at length I might ascend to the dignity of a Bishop: wherefore ye are very simple and foolish people to think that I will now descend, and debase myself so much, as of a Bishop to become a Preacher.   

The 29. Apologue, where in is discovered the folly of the Pope and Papists.  
IN the time of Pope Leo, there were ten notable fools running about the streets of Rome; all which on a day the Pope sent for to make him pastime as he was at dinner and assoon as he saw them he laughed exceedingly at the diversity of their follies; now there was one amongst them who thought himself to be Emperor of all the world, and as an Emperor did command the other fools and distributed amongst them the estates and governments of the World; doing it with such a vivacity and grace, that the beholders judged him to be thoroughly persuaded that be was an Emperor indeed. Therefore the Pope said unto them about him, this poor man is marvelous foolish, that in so great poverty, he doth persuade himself to be an Emperor. But the fool hearing it turned towards him and said: You are more foolish and boyd of understanding than I, in that (being a sinful man) you are made to believe, that you are a God on Earth: and your followers are berier fools then my companions, for although I give them Kingdoms and governments of the world, yet they give no credit to me at all: but your followers do steadfastly believe that you are able to give them Indulgences, Benedictions, jubilées, Absolutions, Remission of sins and also Paradise itself. Then the Pope said let not a man meddle with fools, if he would not have the truth told him without flattery: and so he departed from them.   

The 30. Apologue, wherein is discovered and condemned the Superstition of Bells.  
THe Priests and Monks of a certain City on a time when a great tempest was likely to arise, betook themselves to the Church and rang out the bells, to turn away the storm and tempest; wherefore the governor of the City (noting it) on another time when a tempest was likely to ensue, caused all the Canons and great pieces which were upon the walls to be shot off toward that way, which he thought the tempest would come: & the Bishop demanded of him why he did so: and he said, first I pray you tell me why you caused all the Bells to be rung out at such a time? And the Bishop answered that it was to chase and drive away the Devils, who were the causers and stirrers up of the tempest in the Air. Then the Governor said, although I know that the Devils do no more fear the sound of the bells than the Daws which sit in the town yet I commanded these Canons to be shot off to the end that you might plainly perceive, that if they did not fear the terrible thunbring noise of them, they would much less be afraid of the sound of your Bells.   

The 31. Apologue, by which is showed the great folly of those that believe that God hath given the charge of beasts to Saints.  
A Certain noble Lady of France being at the point of death, was exhorted by her Confessor to die willingly; assuring herself, that without all doubt she should go presently to Paradise, and she answered and said I could be very well content to go to Paradise were it not for one respect: and being asked by her Confessor, what could hinder her from going thither willingly? she said, seeing that God (as you say) hath given the charge of hogs to Saint Anthony, of hearses to Saint Elie, and of many other Birds and Beasts to divers holy Men and Women, and hath not yet given the charge and government of geese, turks, and hens, to any one: I am afraid, if I go to Paradise that he will give me that office which will much derogate from the nobility of my stock; wherefore if it will please God to commit the tuition of any Beasts to me, when I come thither. I would have you pray that it may be of little dogs: because it is the custom of Ladies and Gentlewomen to have them always about them.   

The 32. Apologue, by which is discovered the sottish superstition of them who think they can deliver souls out of Purgatory, by saying the Masses of Saint Gregory.  
A Cerretan, (that is a Pardonmonger, or popish Merchant) told the people, as he traveled about the Country, that he could say a prayer of Saint Gregory, which was of such force and virtue, that as often as he said it, he freed a soul out of hell: (always provided, that he had a crown paid him beforehand) & because many resorted unto to him, to obtain this deliverance for their friends, The Cordeliers enraged against him, sought him out and calling him Heretic, and fountain of all billanies, demanded of him who had told him, that by saying a prayer of Saint Gregory, he might free a Soul out of Hell? Then the Cerretan said, and who assured you that by saying thirty Masses you might, deliver Souls out of Purgatory? the Cordeliers answered that it was revealed to S. Gregory (as he was saying Masses, to retire a Soul out of Purgatory) that after the thirtieth the soul, was delivered. In like manner also, said the Cerretan, at the prayer of the same Saint Gregory the soul of the Emperor trajan being in Hell, was transported into Paradise, as he understood by Revelation; Oh (said the Cordeliers) it is no marvel if he delivered him, because he was Pope, and an holy man, which thou art not; and moreover, trajan had some fear of God, but thou sayest, that thou art able to deliver all Infidels as well as other: so said the Cerretan) when S. Gregory delivered the soul out of Purgatory he was Pope and an holy man, which you are not; beside that soul had not been any long time there, but you say you can deliver all indifferently. Then the Cordeliers said, it was by a singular privilege that he delivered the soul of trajan, which is not given to thee, in like manner (said the Cerretan) if he did deliver the soul out of Purgatory as you say) it was by an especial grace granted unto him, and not to you. Last of all the Cordeliers told him that he knew not what prayer S. Gregory said when he delivered the soul of trajan out of hell. And do you (said the Cerretan) know what Masses he said when he delivered the soul out of Purgatory? Wherefore do ye say nothing against me, and I will say nothing against you, and let us not discover one another's merchandise, but only study how we may more and more rosin and beguile the simple people, and so they agreed.   

The 33. Apologue, whereby is showed the folly of them that worship Images.  
AN old man of the third order of S. Francis, having seen in the Temple Saint Francis and S. Dominicke? at the feet of the Crucifire, the one on the right hand and the other on the left, and not knowing what they meant, demanded of his Confessor why one of them was painted with with wounds and scars and the other without? and the Confessor said, because that S. Francis had those wounds imprinted in hint and not Saint Dominicke Is one of them (said the old man) Saint Francis, and the other Saint Dominicke? yes (said the Confessor.) Then the old man cried out saying, O wretch that I am! I always thought they had been the two thieves between whom Christ was crucified; and which is worse, because that in the temples of Saint Dominicke, he that is without wounds is painted on the right hand of Christ, and the other on the left, and on the contrary in your Temples he that hath the wounds is on the right hand, and the other on the left: by reason that I could not discern, which was the good thief, I have held them both for sinners and never worshipped either of them.   

The 24. Apologue, wherein is discovered the folly of them who think they may be justified and saved by their own works.  
IT happened that a Citizen of Geneva had so grievously offended the Prince Dorie, that he condemned him to be a Gallislave as long as he lived; and when he was placed in the Galleys, he was counseled by his friends to procure the savour and mediation of the Lord janotin Dorie; for (said they) he is so dear unto the Prince, that he can easily obtain pardon for you; but he answered that he did not believe he either would or could profit him therein at all, and therefore he would not make suit unto him; principally because he did hope of himself, without any other means to regain the savour of the Prince; which that he might bring to pass, he busied himself in making tooth-pickers: and although by his continual labour he could not get sufficient to furnish himself with necessaries; yet so foolish he was, that he thought by his tooth-pickers at length to heap together such a treasure, that by it he might be able not only to pacify the anger of the Prince, get his favour, and deliver himself from the Galleys, but also with the surplusage to become a rich and wealthy Seigneur; and it chanced that two Capuchin Friars on a time, came to the same Galley to pass there into Naples; and seeing this poor man have rest neither night nor day (for when he left rowing he betook himself to his making of toothpickers) they demanded of him, what moved him to do so? and he answered and said. I hope by the gain which I make by this my labour to purchase the favour of the Prince, and to become a rich man; then the Capuchins said unto him, that he was a very fool to think to attain unto that, only by means of his tooth-pickers, and that they could more prevail in procuring him favour with the Prince, than the Lord janotin: But (said he) if ye well consider it, see Capuchins are verier fools than I; in that you think and steadfastly believe, that by your good works you may be able to free yourselves from sin, and servitude of the Devil, wherein you are, pacify the anger of God towards you, purchase his favour and become his children, and inheritors of the kingdom of heaven: and which is more, that your said works can more prevail with God, than jesus Christ his well-beloved Son, in whom he is well pleased.   

The 35. Apologue, by which is showed what the Popes are and what is their authority.  
THe Pope being dead, the Cardinals could not agree in the creation of a new Pope: for the Gibellins, would have a Gibellin, and the Guelphs would have a Guelfe to be Pope; and although they had already been some months in the Conclave, yet were they still so obstinate, that every one of both parts had sworn that he would much rather make the Devil Pope, than one of the contrary faction. Now the Devil well knowing their minds, appeared to them in the form of a man, and showed them, that by delaying the creation of a Pope, they did wrong both their Church and themselves exceeding much; and that (seeing they could not otherwise agree) they were best to choose him to be their Pope, saying unto them; If you will elect me I can greatly increase the Popedom, seeing that none of the Counsels of the great Signior are hid from me: and moreover being that I have no Children, nor Parents, I will bestow all the benefices and offices, and distribute all the treasure of the Church; only amongst you and your friends These conditions so well pleased them all, that they agreed to elect him, and called him Silvester the second. After this, it happened on a time that a Cardinal returning from the Pope's Palace, was demanded of a friend of his which met him from whence he came? And he answered that he came from the Pope, of whom he had obtained plenary indulgence, and remission of all his sins: but his friend said, what? Do you not know who is our Pope? Do you believe that the Devil is able to forgive sins? Then the Cardinal replied and said; other Popes heretofore have been sinners not only full of vices, but also the very fountains of all impiety, and oftentimes worse than the Devil himself; and do you think that, being such they had power to give indulgence, and remission of sins? Yes (said the other) as they were Popes, though not as sinners. In like manner (said the Cardinal) he that is now Pope hath power to give remission of sins, as he is Pope, although not as Devil: so that it sufficeth that they be Popes to save men; for the rest it is all one, whether they be good or bad, men or Devils; but I (said the other) believe that only jesus Christ can forgive sins, and not the Devil nor his Ministers, and that God hath ordained the Devils to be his executioners and not his Apostles.   

The 36. Apologue, by which is showed the folly of the Romans, who yield themselves to the Pope.  
THe Lord Duke of Melphe being sent for by the Emperor to undertake the government of Sienes took Room in his way and visited Pope Clement▪ who dissuaded him from going thither, saying that the Sieniands were madbraind and furious people, and that if any toy should come into their heads, they would either kill him, or chase him thence with great disgrace; but the Duke answered and said, I believe that to be true which your Holiness saith, that if they should become madmen they would either kill me or drive me thence; and yet I hope I shall speed well enough: for the Romans would do the like to you, if they should become wise men, & yet you are here at Rome without fear; without all doubt (than said the Pope) if the Romans were well in their wits they would not endure me, and therefore we keep them always drunk with the sweet Maladeys of S. Peter.   

The 37. Apologue, by which is in part showed what and how great the authority of the Pope's is.  
AN ginger went on a time to Pope Paul, and foretold him that in the year 1549▪ the heavens by reason of some malign influences, would threaten him a very grievous malady, with great danger of death and the Pope demanded of [him] whether he knew any remedy? Yes (said the ginger) if you will go that year to Germany, and abide there, you shall avoid the danger; that is true without doubt (said the Pope) for the Germans will take away my life, and by that means I shall be delivered from all maladies: but tell me, may not I avoid the danger, if I continue still at Rome? there is but one way (said the ginger) which is (seeing you have the Keys of Heaven) that you keep them fast shut all that year, so that the influences may not descend upon you. Is that sufficient (said the Pope?) Yes (said he) for if the Souls which are spiritual, cannot pierce the Heavens, and enter into Paradise, unless you open them with your Keys: the influences which are corporal can much less come down unto you if you keep them well shut up in the heavens; but (said the Pope) what means may we use to shut them? the (same said the ginger) which you use in opening them: that is, make a sign of the Cross, and command them to remain shut. At this the Pope laughed and departed.   

The 38. Apologue, wherein is discovered the cruelty and impiety of the Spanish inquisition.  
THe Spanish Inquisitors (or rather Inquinators and defilers of the faith) being desirous to extort and violently take away the goods of a simple (but rich Countryman, cited him to appear before them with an intent subtly to examine him in all the Articles of faith; hoping, that being he was a simple and ignorant fellow, altogether void of learning, they might easily entangle him in some of his speeches & so put him to death as an heretic, and lay hands on his goods. Well the Countryman at the day appointed was present, and they with seeming grave, & religious countenances demanded of him what he believed? and he said, I believe that which the holy Church believes. Tell us, said they what the holy Church believes? that which I believe said he. And though they proposed divers questions unto him, they could not draw him out of this answer: for when they said unto him, dost thou believe that the Mass is a sacrifice agreeable to the will of God, and that it profiteth the dead? and that the breach of the commandments of the Pope is a mortal sin? he answered still, I believe that which the holy Church believes. What (said the inquisitors) dost thou believe nothing else, but that which the holy Church believes? Is it not sufficient (said the Countryman) that I believe all which the holy Church believes? what I pray you would you have me believe else? Then they asked him of whom he had learned to answer in that sort? and he answered and said, I learned it of our Curate, who visiting me that year I was sick, said unto me take great care of yourself, and give ear to that which I shall say: when you are at the point of death, the Devils will come to tempt you, and to examine you subtly concerning your faith, to the end they may ensnare you in some of your words, and so carry your soul into hell, wherefore when they say unto you, what dost thou believe? do you say, that which the holy Church believes, and if they reply and ask what the holy Church believes? do you say that which I believe; and take good heed that you answer nothing else, and then they cannot hurt you; now since that time I never forgot his counsel; wherefore when you cited me, fearing I should have to do with Devils, who would take away my goods and life, I thought good to govern myself according thereunto; In the end the Inquisitors could him that this answer was not sufficient, but that he ought in particular to express what he believed. Then he said, If this answer be sufficient to satisfy all the Devils in hell, and yet will not content you, it follows that you are worse than the very devils: and so (they not knowing what to say to him) he left them.   

The 39 Apologue, by which is discovered the avarice of them, who desire to have the charge of diverse Churches.  
THere was a young jew at Rome, who said on a time to a Bishop of his acquaintance; I have a wife betrothed unto me, but I will not marry her, until I can find me out another: for we jews may have many wives, after the example of Abraham, Isaac, jacob, David, and many other holy men: then the Bishop said unto him, you are unwise in that first marry that which you have, and if she be not sufficient for you then seek for another. By your own reason (said the jew) you are far more unwise than I, in that having one Bishopric, one Church to govern) you are not contented therewith, but abide here at Rome that you may get a second; first betake yourself to that Church which you have already, and endeavour to discharge your duty therein, and when that is done, if you find yourself able to satisfy another, then procure it: but if it be so that I having two wives in the same house, cannot please them both, do you think that you can discharge your duty toward two Churches when one of them is in France, & the other in Lombardie? do you not understand that if it be a hard matter to govern one woman well, it is a thing harder (without comparison) to govern one Church well? And therefore (as it appeareth plainly by the words of Saint Paul writing to the Philippians) in former time one Church had many Bishops, and many husbands, and such as were holy men, so that one alone could not satisfy it: but now at this day: ignorant and sinful Bishops and Pastors, burn with an inordinate desire after many Bishoprics and Churches, whereas they are fit rather to govern an heard of Swine, than the Sheep of our Lord jesus Christ, dearly bought by the effusion of his most precious blood.   

The 40. Apologue, by which is showed the ridiculous superstition of the three knots in the Cord of the Friar of S. Francis.  
A Certain man demanded of the Cordeliers, whether it were necessary that their cord should have three knots? and they answered that it was necessary, by reason of three bows which they had made: for the knot below (said they) which oftentimes traileth on the ground, signifieth our obedience: that in the midst (which by reason of of the often handling is filthier commonly than the rest) doth signify our pure and undefiled chastity: and the third knot above, whereby we tie ourselves very straightly (unless it be when we eat and drink, for then indeed, fearing lest our bellies should burst, we untie it) signifieth our strict poverty.   

The 41 Apologue by which is showed the superstition of them who repugn and contradict the Gospel.  
ON a time the best learned jews of the Synagogue of Rome, went to the Cardinal of England (being then at Rome) and prayed him instantly, that he would speak to the Pope for them, that without forsaking their Law, Customs and Ceremonies, they might be made Christians, saying, that on that condition they would be Christened, or else not: but the Cardinal answered, that they sought for a thing impossible: why (said the jews then) a man may well be a good jew, and a good Christian, seeing that Moses is not contrary to jesus Christ, nor the Law to the Gospel: you say true (said the Cardinal) but Christ abrogated the Law, and all Ceremonies, because they were verified in him, so that at this time they are not only annihilated and dead, but also deadly to all that observe them any longer. To this the jews answered and said, we know well, that whosoever would now be circumcised in figure of the spiritual circumcision, which ought to be made by the Messiah, as if it had not been done already, should do ill, but we circumcise ourselves in remembrance of the spiritual circumcision already made by Christ: in like manner we purify ourselves in remembrance, that we are already purified by Christ, also we offer sacrifices for a memorial of that divine Lamb sacrificed by us an the Cross: and which is more, we use the Sacraments of jesus Christ. But (said the Cardinal) you think to be justified and saved by the observation of the Law, and the Christians believe they shall be justified and saved by grace: and therefore you cannot be jews and Christians. The jews replied and said, this opinion (as we think) is of the Lutherans, and conformable to that which of old tune was held by our Olders, who did believe they should be saved, not by their proper justice, but by the Messiah, and therefore we willingly agree therrunto: then the Cardinal said, that to be Christians they must abandon and forsake all judaisme: but the jews replied saying, amongst you there are many Monks, who think to be justified and saved not by the observation of the Law of God, but by keeping their own laws, and ordinances, invented and forged by their own brains: and also there are very many ceremonies amongst them which are not ionely without reason, foolish and ridiculous, but also full of impiety, and directly repugnant to the Law and Gospel of God: as not to be obedient to parents, or Princes, not to marry although they have not the gift of continence, not to labour, not to preach, and a rabble of other fantasies almost innumerable: and yet for all this you hold them for Christians. Now if they may be Augustine's, jacobines, Cordeliers, of the order of S. Benet, Carmelites, Basilianists, jesuits, Chartreuses, Teatines, and Christians also, with all these religions: why may not we well be Mosaicks & Christians, seeing the Moses doth in nothing repugn Christ but doth foretell him plainly, and the law doth comprehend in it the Gospel? All these reasons so well pleased the Cardinal that he promised to speak to the Pope for them, not doubting but he would grant their request, on this condition the they would promise obedience to him, & be his followers, worshipping him as their God on earth.   

The 42. Apologue, wherein is showed the authority of the Pope.  
TWo Romans on a time, were talking together of the power of the Popes; and one of them said that they as bicars of jesus Christ on earth had all the authority that jesus Christ had: but the other said unto him, thou art much deceived, for as here in Rome the deputy of the Pope hath authority only to lay hands on wicked men, to put them into prison, to bind them, torture them, and finally to lead them to the place of execution: so the Pope, as he is vicar of Christ, hath authority only as the Tailor, executioner, and very scourge of God, to apprehend men which are reproved of him, with his external show of probity and hypocritical sanctity, to imprison them with vows, to bind them with his commandments, to torment them with his importable impositions, and in the end to put them to death eternally with his superstitions, Idolatries, impieties, false indulgences and absolutions: and moreover he hath power as the Tailor, executioner, and vicar of the great Devil, to persecute, imprison, torment, burn and slay the elect of God, to the end that passing through the furnace of persecutions they may be the more replendent, and glorious in the sight of God.   

The 43. Apologue, whereby is discovered the folly of them which place their daughters into Monasteries.  
THere was a German Lady, who having many daughters, and not wherewithal to marry them according to their degree, bred them up, and instructed them in all kind of honesty and virtue in her own house, and some of her friends, coming on a day to see her, said that it was small honour and credit for her, that she did not use means to place her daughters abroad, and that it were better to marry them to Carremen and Posters, then to suffer them to spend the flower of their age in her house: The Lady answered, if my daughters were willing to marry, I could find honest men to match them unto, although they were not of so noble an house; but they are contented to remain unmarried. If they will not marry said her friends, you were best to place them in a Monestery, both to avoid all inconveniences, as also for the honour of the world: then the Lady said, I am not in that so unwise as you, who keep your daughters locked up in your houses, while they be little and young, at which time they might without any danger go all abroad, and afterwards when by age they are marriageable (which is the tune wherein they ought either to be well married or else most carefully looked unto) you put them into Monasteries, and suffer them to go abroad in public. Do you think that strangers, Monks, Priests, and Abbesses can have greater care of your Daughters then yourselves? as for me, I cannot believe that any one will keep my daughters more carefully and faithfully than I myself, and mine house is a more holy and honourable Monastery for them then all these of the Priests and Monks, but if my daughters do change their minds, and desire to he married, I will provide husbands for them, whereas yours not having the gift of continence, do commit such things as turn to their own confusion, and your great dishonour. To this her friends (being vanquished) with the truth) could not tell what to answer.   

The 44. Apologue, whereby is showed the folly of them who would have God painted.  
A Certain Bishop, spoke to a painter to draw the picture of the Trinity in his Chapel, which the Painter promised to perform, so that he would give him a hundred Crowns for his pains, and also pay them before hand) alleging that else he should not be able to buy colours, the Bishop having granted him that, he also added that being the Trinity was a thing very difficult to be painted, he must have the key of the Chapel, and have none to see it (that he might have no hindrance) until he had finished the work: to this also the Bishop agreed, and caused coverings of boards to be set up against that place where he would have the Trinity painted, to the end that none might see what was done there. All things thus ordered, the Painter with his tools and colours entered every day for a month's space, into the said Chapel, and busied himself secretly in painting, not the Trinity, but other works of his own, which he brought in with him, and after the end of a month, having carried forth all his own things, and taken down the boards, he went and delivered the key to the Bishop saying that he had finished the work, and that he had never in all his life made any thing so fair and perfect as that was; whereat the Bishop rejoiced so much, that he gave him sire crowns more, and as one full of ostentation and vain glory, invited some of his friends to go with him to see thee said Chapel, and so accompanied, be entered into it, but casting his eyrs towards the wall where the trinity should have been painted, he perceived that there was no painting at all, wherefore in a great rage turning himself to the Painter, and said, and where I pray thee is the Trinity which thou didst brag thou hadst made so fair? why ur? (said the Painter) do you not see it painted in the air? not I (said the Bishop) but what dost thou tell me of in the air, or not in the air, I would have had thee painted it on the wall, and not in the air. At (said the painter) do not you know, that a man can paint none but visible things on walls, and that it is unpossible to paint invisible things such as the Trinity is any where but in the air? the Bishop was constrained to laugh at this answer (although not well pleased) and to leave the Painter with his hundred and sire crowns which he had pocketed.   

The 45 Apologue, showing hue little the reverence of them is, who believing that Christ is in the host do keep him as it were in prison.  
THere was a certain country Curate, who (being greedy of gain) would serve now at one Church, and now at another, and leave his own cure void: so that his parishioners oftentimes could not have him to administres the Sacraments, nor to perform other necessary duties, in their greatest necessity. Wherefore after they had often told him of it and saw no token of ament; by the consent of the whole Parish, they shut him up in a Chamber, and kept him under lock and key, that he might be present to serve them at their need. But when the Bishop was certified of it, he was greatly moved thereat, so that he cited the Churchwardens of the Village to appear before him, and sharply reprehended them, but they, excusing themselves said that, that which they had done to their Curate, was not to do him harm, but that they might have him present when they stood in need of him, what (said the Bishop) are ye not ashamed to do an act so worthy of blame, as to keep your Curate shut up as it were in prison? why sir? (said the Churchwardens) you keeps not only a simple priest, but jesus Christ the great Pastor and Bishop of our souls, and the only Son of the living God, shut up (as yourselves confess) under lock and key, in a little chest or bare, to serve you against maladies: and if you therein do nothing worthy of dispraise, have we done ill in keeping our Curate in a fair and spacious Chamber? nay which is more, that jesus Christ may be present at your need, ye keep him imprisoned not only in a boar, but also in the host itself, wherein he is so irrately held that he cannot move, and yet ye can easily (namely with speaking only fine words as our Curate hath told us) make him descend thither, when ye please: but as for us, the words, admonitions, and entreaties, which we used to our Curate, prevailed nothing: for though we did call and seek and send for him, yet oftentimes he would not come at us. To conclude, the Bishop, (seeing they spoke reason) promised that their Curate should forsake them no more.   

The 46. Apologue, wherein is showed on whom the Pope's Church is founded.  
IN a disputation concerning the foundation of the Ramane Church, it was concluded that the Pope was the foundation thereof, because that jesus Christ had said to Peter, Thou art Peter, and upon this rock will I build my Church: but there was one, who dissenting from the rest said, I am not of your opinion, but I think that it is much rather founded on the King of France, and the Emperor, for if they should become Lutherans, they would utterly ruinated the Roman Church, because that all men, following their example would be Lutherans also: but it would not be so, if the Pope should turn Lutheran, for in that case it were to be feared, that they which are Lutherans (by reason of the Antipathy between them and the Pope) would suddenly become Papists.   

The 47. Apologue, wherein is showed the foolly of them who give credit to the Indulgence of the Portioncula.  
THe Capuchin Cordeliers, having understood that S. Francis had heretofore obtained of the Virgin Mary full remission of sins, for all those who at any time should go, or cause other to go and enter for them into a certain Chapel of hers, and knowing that they could not do a work of greater charity then to deliver souls from their sins, on a day five and twenty of them went to that Chapel: and did nothing else but go in at one door, and out at another: so they thought by that means they did every day deliver more than five and twenty thousand from their sins: therefore after a little time, supposing that they had deliver all Christians of their sect, they were determined to enter also for Turks, jews Gentiles, and Heretics: But the Cordeliers of the Observance, violently set upon them, and brave them thence, saying that if they had gone forward with their enterprise, none would have come to the Portiuncula, because all would think themselves by their means freed from their sins; which would be a cause of cooling the people's devotion and by consequence of withholding their alms from them.   

The 48. Apologue, which showeth what the Pope and Popish Bishops are.  
ON a time there was a new Pope created while a Council was held, and a friend of his came privately unto him, and said, holy Father use means to dissipate the Council, and do not you trust the Bishops who are all Traitors; for if they were so bold to lay hands on jesus Christ, and cast him out of the Church, to set the Pope in his place, do not think they will spare you: but the Pope answered, we are not at all afraid in that respect, for we know certainly that the Bishops are so wicked that they do not desire that an honester man than myself should be Pope, and a worse they can by no means find.   

The 49. Apologue, by which is showed how great the Pope's authority is.  
THe Fathers of the Council of Trent, desiring to increase the dignity of the Popedom, proposed whatsoever they thought fit to accomplish their purpose: and one of them said thus, I think it fit to be enacted that S. Peter be hereafter painted with three keys in his hand; and that to those pictures, which are already made, there be one added, to show and declare unto the world, that the Pope hath not only the key of Paradise, and the key of Purgatory, but also the key of hell; and I greatly wonder, that the Bishops in precedent councils had so little wisdom and discretion as to neglect a matter of such great importance. What (said the other Bishops) shall the Pope have authority also in hell? without doubt (answered he) the Pope hath more authority there then in Paradise; the other replied, that the Pope could not deliver the damned out of Hell. As more (said he) can he call back those which are saved out of Paradise, although he have the key thereof; the other Bishops answered that it was sufficient he could send them thither, so (said the Bishop) he can send souls to the Devils, and much easier too, then to Paradise: and being asked by what means, he answered by his commandments, articles of faith, excommunications, maledictions and bad examples, and principally, (according to the Lutherans) by his false doctrine. Of all these things the Pope was certified, and he was content to do as they should think convenient.   

The 50. Apologue, by which is condemned the foolish superstition of Confession.  
A Certain Priest demanded of his Bishop, whether he ought not at confession to cause the sinners to show the members where with they offended? saying that as it was the part of a good Physician not only to hear of his sick patient what his disease is, but also to see the soar (if it be possible) and touch it with his hand, for fear lest he fail in the cure; so he thought it his part being a spiritual Physician, not only to be informed of the sins with their circumstances, but also to behold the Instruments wherewith they were committed; then being asked by the Bishop whether he were not ashamed to behold the secret parts of man? he answered and said, If I ought not to be ashamed to see with the eyes of my spirit (which are much more precious than those of my flesh) not only the villainies of men and women, but also their members wherewith they committed them, and if you have obliged sinners to reveal all the wickedness they have committed, why should I think it shame to behold those parts which God hath made? It hath been ordained (said the Bishop) that they should do so, to the end that by the shame thereof, they might merit remission of their sins; and be moved to abstain from the like afterward: for the same reasons (said the Priest) ought they also to show the instruments. But where (said the Bishop) do you find in the Gospel that a man ought so to lay open himself? do you not remember (said the Priest) that Christ said to the Leper, go and show they self to the Priest? now the Priest would see him naked that he might judge whether he were clean or not and I think that I ought to do the like, lest I should judge amiss Now I believe that you cannot find in all the Gospel any place so favourable to your confession as this is to mine. The Bishop not knowing what to determine in the matter, carried it with other Articles to the Council of Trent, to yield the Bishop's matter of disputation, and said, that he thought it sit to be made an Article of faith.   

The 51. Apologue, by which is showed how easily the Pope's followers deceive the world.  
THere came to Venice a Cerretan or Pardonmonger, who having bought of the Pope all his authority over the dead, did brag that he could deliver souls out of hell, and because many fools gave credit to his words, he got great store of money: but the Pope's Legate understanding it, sent for him and asked him where he got authority to deliver souls out of Hell? and he said, of the Pope, and withal showed him his Bulls, the Legate (having read them) said, the Pope hath given thee authority over those which are in Purgatory, and not over those which are in hell. Then the Cerretan said, you are a very heretic, who would thus limit the power of the Pope: tell me I pray you is not God omnipotent? may not he do what he will? can any one limit or bond the power of God? And the Legate answered no: so (replied the Cerretan) in as much as the Pope hath all the power of God, as his Lieutenant on earth, none can bond or restrain his power. But, said the Legate, we read that out of hell there is no redemption, but that the pains thereof are eternal. Do not you know (said the Cerretan that there is no rule so general but hath some exception? that which you say is to be understood thus. That they cannot ordinarily be delivered thence: as here in the prisons of Venice the malefactors kept therein cannot come out when there will, notwithstanding the Signiory can set them at liberty when they please. But (said the Legate) what authority have you over hell? The same (said he) which the Pope hath over Purgatory; but I have gained more by Hell then by Purgatory, and therefore if the Pope would follow my council, he might quickly fill his coffers with Treasure: the Legate asked him how? And he said, If he would say that he would deliver Souls out of Hell; which might easily be done, if (only) in that place of his Bulls, where he saith, Deliver souls out of Purgatory, he would also add deliver Souls out of Hell. But the chief and principal matter of the business is, (said the Legate) not that he only say so in words, but that they be delivered in deed and effect. What (said the Cerretan) need the Pope care whether they be delivered or no, so that the world doth believe they are delivered? Is it not sufficient for him, that he may fill his Chests with the gain which he reaps thereby? But (said the Legate) it is a very hard matter to make the world believe that he can deliver souls out of Hell: nay (said the Cerretan) so much hath he blinded and besotted the world that it is a very easy matter. Yea if you well consider it, you shall find that the Pope shall have much less labour to persuade the poor world that he can deliver Souls out of hell, then that he can free them from Purgatory. For as touching Purgatory, he hath two labours, the first to make men understand that there is a Purgatory; the second to make them believe that he can deliver Souls thence: but as touching Hell, whereas every one is already persuaded that there is one, there remaineth but one labour for him, which is to make men believe that he hath power to free the damned from their everlasting torments. These things pleased the Legate so well that he presently wrote thereof unto the Pope.   

The 52. Apologue, whereby is condemned the little reverence of them who believe that jesus Christ is in the Host.  
THere was a Pope, who had loved his mother dearly, I therefore for a remembrance of her kept her Picture always hanging in his presence Chamber; now the Ambassador of Florence understanding of it, as also in what part of the chamber it was placed, having occasion on a time to go to the Pope, when he entered into the Chamber he presently kneeled down before the picture, turning his backside to the Pope, before he had done his duty to him, and the Pope very much disdaining at it reprehended him for the little manners and reverence he used towards him; but the Ambassador excusing himself, said, we Florentines have a custom that when we enter into our great Church of Florence, incontinently we do reverence to the Image of the mother of jesus Christ, turning our backs to her son, who (as they say) is in the host, and the Monks of that Church say, that it is the will of Christ we should do so: wherefore I thought it would likewise have pleased your Holiness, that I should have done reverence to the picture of your Mother, before I did reverence to you. The Pope laughing at it, said, that indeed he had showed a good reason for it.   

The 53. Apologue, of the Miracles of the Devil.  
AS certain Romans were talking of miracles, there was one of them said, when I think upon Popes, Cardinals, Priests, and Monks, and other of the irreligious, their lives, their works, their credit, dignity and riches, I am almost persuaded that the Devil hath done more miracles than jesus Christ.   

The 54. Apologue, whereby is discovered, the impiety of them who constrain men to worship jesus Christ in the host.  
THere was a Gentleman of Venice, who would never worship the host; for the which being on a time reprehended by the Pope's Legate, he answered and said, I have not this long time worshipped Christ in the Sacrament, neither will I ever do it; for if he be present there at all (which I will presuppose to ease you of the labour of proving it) yet as yourselves say he is not there until the Priest hath finished the words of consecration, with an intent to consecrate it. Now because he always speaketh the words with a low voice, I am never certain whether he speaketh them or no: again, if I did hear him speak the words, I am not sure that he doth it with an intent to consecrate, especially, because I find by experience that the Priests are commonly liars and dissemblers. Therefore being uncertain that he is in the host, and most certain that he is in heaven, what evil do I, if I worship him in heaven, and not in the host? for knowing that the mass-priests have very little faith or none at all; would you have me commit to their credit a matter of such consequence as to leave off worshipping of Christ where I am assured he is, to worship him where I altogether doubt of his presence? but put the case that I were also sure that he is in the host, as I doubt not that he is in heaven: what injury should I do to jesus Christ, if I did worship him only in heaven & not in the host? I do verily believe that he would not condemme such a fact; yet you repute me an heretic for worshipping of him where I know certainly he is, and not worshipping him where I am persuaded he is not. And an heretic let me be if I leave off worshipping him in heaven, & begin to worship him where you would have me. And having thus said he went his way.   

The 55. Apologue, wherein is discovered the folly and arrogancy of the Pope's Prelates.  
THe bishops being assembled at Trent, with a purpose to enact something beneficial to the Romish Church, one of them said that it was good that every one proposed his opinion therein, to the end they might add something to the dignity of the Popedom, as Bishops in precedent Counsels had done; but some answered the it was sufficient to uphold and maintain it in that scale of greatness whereunto it had already attained, especially in these times where many did endeavour to ruinated & bring it to destruction; besides being it was already mounted to that height of dignity, that if they would have it under heaven they could exalt it no higher. The other answered, that it was their parts not only to preserve it, but also still to endeavour to augment and exalt it: for as (said he) we who live in this world, are but travelers and possengers, never, during this life, attaining to the wished end of sovereign perfection, but aspiring daily unto it: so in like manner the Popedom is not yet come to the highest degree thereof. The Lutherans say that the holy spirit taught the Apostles all things necessary to salvation: but we hold on the contrary, that the same holy spirit doth day by day give greater light unto his Church, by revealing new things unto it: wherefore we ought to hope that he will reveal unto us some hidden secret which may serve much to the exaultation of the Popedom, Then one of the most ancient among them said, at the beginning they who came to visit the Bishop of Rome did kiss his mouth, as judas kissed jesus Christ; but after he was made Bishop of Bishops, they kissed his hand in token of greater reverence: after that being made equal to the Emperor, whereas he was mounted higher, it was fit that they should kiss lower, and therefore they did kiss his knee: at length when he was ascended above the Emperors, they began to kiss his foot (as they do at this day) because it was the lowest and basest member of man: but as yet they kiss the upper part, and not the sole of the foot, but now seeing that the Pope is exaulted not only above the Emperor, but also above jesus Christ himself, I think it fit that the Cross which he hath heretofore worn on the upper part of his shoe, be hereafter placed on the sole thereof; and that all henceforth who will do reverence to the Pope, even to the Emperor himself, be compelled to kiss the bottom of his foot; which will be a very great exaultation of the Popedom; for we shall thereby plainly show that the Pope is so highly advanced in glory, that he hath troad under his feet the Cross of jesus Christ, and all holy things. He had scarcely ended these words, before all the Bishops (lifting up their hands towards heaven, and giving praise to God for the revelation of so great a secret) began to say, that although in that Council they did determine of nothing else but that, and could profit the Church by no other means yet they thought that they had well bestowed their cost and pains in coming together. Wherefore in all hast they made it an article of faith. But they say that Pope julius was not well pleased with it, because he was unwilling to take so much pains as to lift up his foot to all that came unto him, as also because he feared that if he did lift up his foot when he was standing he should fall down backward; so that the Bishops were very much discontented, because they thought that they had never made any decree better, or more profitable to their religion.   

The 56. Apologue, by which is showed the faction of human religions.  
A Certain Roman Gent. caused an enigmatical description of the four first facts of their religion to be made in a fair house which he had in the Country. And in the first place there was painted a Monk of the order of S. Benet, with scrolls and writings in his hand, and attorneys, proctor's, and notaries round about him; who taking monsieur Monk by the habit did draw him, one this way another that way, to show that they are never out of strife and contention Next there was a young Friar of S Augustine, who having a fair beard did Kombe it with one hand, and held a looking glass in the other, wherein he beheld how handsome it was. And a little below that there was a Monk of S. Dominicke sitting with a fair young Damsel on her knees before him, with her bosom all open making her confession unto him; and he, that he might seems not at all to regard that spectacle, had his hand put before his eyes, but with his fingers spread abroad. In the last place was a Cordelier, who held down his head, having his hood over his eyes, and his arms a cross within his sleeves, so that he seemed to be a Saint; but out at one of his sleeves, there hung part of a roasted Capon which he perceived not.   

The 57 Apologue, wherein is discovered and reproved the ignorance of some of the Popish Prelates.  
IN the Council of Trent (as I have heard) the Fathers did discourse of faith and good works, wresting the Scriptures to prove that faith was not sufficient to justify us, but that works also were thereto required; And there was a Bishop amongst them of great learning as they thought, who said, I marvel greatly that the Lutherans, dare say that faith alone doth justify, seeing that there is a text in the Gospel which doth manifestly beat down this their opinion, and I wonder much more at ourselves, that none of us heretofore could find it out; for by this means we had long since shut up the mouths of all the Lutherans, and constrained them to magnify good works, and say with us that they justify. And willing to reveal it unto them, he said, do ye not remember, that it is written in the Gospel that the Apostles being in a ship tossed with a tempest. jesus Christ appeared unto them on the waves, and that S. Peter (who was then a Lutheran believing that faith alone was sufficient to save him) said unto Christ bid me come unto thee on the waters? and that after Christ had commanded him to come, he leapt into the sea with his faith, and was almost drowned? Yea he had been drowned in deed, if jesus Christ had not miraculously aided him, and placed him again in the bark, making him return unto works and rowing with the oar. Wherefore, let who will do as Peter did, & be drowned with their trust in jesus Christ, for my part I am determined not to abandon the little ship but therein (for my better assurance) to remain rowing with the Dare, and traveling with works, these his speeches (as containing the revelation of a rare and excellent secret) were entertained with a great applause by all the other Bishops, except the Bishop of Cava, who said thus, my opinion is that whereas Peter began to sink, it came to pass not by reason of his faith, but of his infidelity and want of faith. And therefore Christ reprehending him said, O thou of little faith! why didst thou fear? As if he had said, If thou hadst been strong in faith, thou mightst safely have marched upon the waves of the Sea. So that if other Bishops heretofore did not produce this text of Scripture to prove that faith alone was not sufficient to save us, it was because they did plainly see that it served nothing to their purpose. He had scarce made an end of speaking, but a Bishop great in wealth and dignity, called the Greguetto, said that he was an heretic, for his words did savour strongly of heresy. Now the first Bishop (who was very angry that his reason which he thought invincible was gainsaid) when he perceived that his opinion was maintained by a man of such credit, he ran upon the Bishop of Cava which contradicted him and paid him by the beard, and had done worse to him if the rest had not speedily come between them, and parted them, and also reconciled them one to the other, enjoining them straightly that for the honour of the Council they should never speak word of it.   

The 58. Apologue, whereby is showed what are the foundations of the Popedom.  
IT is reported that the Emperor was desirous to have three questions disputed and agreed upon at the Council of Trent. The first whereof was, whether Constantine could give Rome, or did give it to the Bishop of Rome? The second, whether it were true as Platina hath written, that the Emperor Phoca was he who gave power to the Bishop of Rome to be Superior and chief of other Bishops: and whether by that it did follow that the power of the Pope did depend on him? The third, whether it were consonant to reason, that a Bishop who ought to be busied altogether in spiritual things, should also have the government of the temporal estate? These questions (they say) he gave to the best learned of the Lutherans; that they might study and examine them well, to the end they might come to the Council armed and furnished with good and solid reasons. When the Pope heard of this he was very much perplexed with it, and therefore proposed this enterprise of the Emperor to the Cardinals in the Consistory, to know their minds therein; and some of them told him, that he had no remedies for it, but to hinder the Council by moving new wars and dissensions in the Christian Commonwealth. But others were of opinion that it was more for the Pope's profit to agree secretly with the Lutherans; to which the Pope answered, we would willingly yield unto them in all things which concern the soul, so that they would suffer our Kingdom and Popedom to remain safe and entire without diminishing.   

The 59 Apologue, whereby is showed the use of the Pope's Excommunications.  
THe Emperor after the death of the Lord Peter Joys, took possession of Placentia as his own. Wherefore Pope Paul (who was the Lord Joys his father) being much displeased with it, said to the Emperor's Ambassador that he would have him certify his Majesty, that if he did not out of hand restore it to him, he would excommunicate him & publish his excommunication in the world: but the Ambassador answered & said unto him; As fathers to keep their little Children in fear and obedience are accustomed to show them vizards and other strange sights, to make them afraid; in like manner your Holiness to keep the Christians in fear and subjection, have found means to terrify them by excommunicating, Anathematizing and cursing them; causing them to be painted with fire and Devils round about them, and even as little Children when they come to maturity and years of discretion, do no more stand in fear of their Father's bugbeares: So the Christians, (who thanks be to God begin to open their eyes) do now little regard your excommunications; wherefore may it please you to unde'rs tanned, that the Emperor is nothing afraid of any such vain terrors, and also that if you thunder and lighten with your Excommunications, his Majesty will thunder and lighten with his great Canons, and Engines of war.   

The 60. Apologue, showing the cause that moveth the Pope to persecute them that believe in Christ.  
ONe asked Pope julius the third, wherefore he did so cruelly persecute the Christians who did believe that faith did justify and save, and he answered that it was because he did fear lest they would begin to believe in jesus Christ: and when the other asked of him, what evil it was to believe in Christ? He answered, that it would be his ruin, and destruction: for if they did once believe, in jesus Christ, they would no more believe in him.   

The 61. Apologue, whereby is showed that the Popish Absolutions are of none effect.  
A Confessor demanded of his Penitent (before he had absolved him) whether he did believe that God had pardoned his sins? And the Penitent answered, that he did not: for (said he) if I assuredly believed that God had pardoned me. I would not have come to you for your absolution: then the Confessor said unto him, unless thou dost steadfastly believe that God hath forgiven thee, I cannot absolve thee. If (said the Penitent I verily believe that I am pardoned, do I believe true or false? thou dost believe that which is true said the Confessor. Then (said the Penitent) you cannot absolve me unless God absolve me first, and being so, what would you have me do with your vain Absolution? When he had thus said he departed from him.   

The 62. Apologue, whereby is showed that in the Church of God there ought to be no Pope, nor Cardinals.  
POpe Adrian was asked on a time, why S. Paul speaking of Ministers ordained by God to govern his Church: and saying that he had appointd some to be Apostles, some Prophets, some Evangelists, some Pastors and Teachers, had not also added (as it was convenient & necessary he should) that he had ordained, that there should be one Pope, and a great number of Cardinals? and he answered that in the primitive Church, men were so simple & gross of understanding, that if he had named such kind of Creatures, they would not have understood what they had meant.   

The 63. Apologue, whereby is showed the folly of them who believe they shall be saved by the Masses of S. Gregory, and how the world is abused.  
A Cerretan or Popish Merchant, traveled about the Country to utter his commodities, and wheresoever he came, he said unto the people, when any of you is likely to die, he ordains by his last Will and Testament that his friends shall after his death, give a Crown to the Cordeliers to say the Masses of S. Gregory for him: but you do not consider that before they are begun and ended many days do pass away, during which time ye must needs remain in the fire of Purgatory. Now if ye will give me but half a Crown for a man, I will assure you that ye shall not come thither at all; so that ye will only wear about your necks continnually a little cross which I will give you, and die with it about you. And so many of the people received these crosses, that the Masses of S. Gregory lost their credit, wherefore the Cordeliers made all means they could against him, calling him a seducer of the people and a preacher of lies; but the Cerretan excusing himself, said that he had spoke nothing but the truth. What? said the Friars, will thou affirm that thou hast authority to bring back Souls out of Purgatory? If I had so said answered the Cerretan, I would acknowledge myself the greatest sinner in the world: I said, indeed that I could préserue them from going thither, but I spoke not a word of bringing them back thence. Dost thou presume then (said they) that thou canst send them immediately into Paradise? No (said he) than I were a fool and an heretic; but I said that if they would wear my little crosses, and pay me half a Crown a man, I would assure them they should never go into Purgatory; and my reason why I said so, is, that in such a case they shall be sure to go to the Devils in Hell, because they believe they shall abtaine remission of their sins, not by jesus Christ but by paying half a Crown, and wearing a little piece of wood about their necks: If that you would take as great heed to those things which you say when you preach your Indulgences, Suffrages, Merits, Benedictions Absolutions & Masses of S. Gregory as have taken to my words, so many false and feigned things which would never proceed out of your mouths, to the detriment and ruin of so many simple people, who give credit to your lies, after that ye have blinded their eyes with your hypocrisy.   

The 64. Apologue of the Cardinal of Chiety.  
THere was two men on a time talking of the Cardinal of Chiety; and one of them said, that he had a brain so dry and hard, that a man could not with mattocks root up the superstitions which grew there, much less imprint jesus Christ in it; and the other answered; It is no marvel if his brains be so hard and dry, for heretofore the measure thereof did consume away with his studying to be Cardinal: and since he was Cardinal, to be Pope, so that it doth waste and consume continually.   

The 65. Apologue, showing why Pope Paul made the Bishop of Chiety Cardinal.  
AFter that Pope Paul had made the Bishop of Chiety Cardinal, one of his friends came unto him, and said that he had done ill, seeing that the Fishoppe was not so holy a man as the foolish world was persuaded; and the Pope answered, we did not make him Cardinal because we judged him an holy man, but that the world might judge us holy in that we exalt those which are commonly thought good men. Then his friend replied that the Bishop had taught some Venetian gentlemen part of Luther's doctrine; we know that said the Pope, and therefore to be revenged on him we made him Cardinal; is it a revenge (said the other) to make him Cardinal? Yes, very great said the Pope, for whereas the world before took him for a Saint, now every one will account a Devil: and we will yet make him more resemble a braced, for we will not only not esteem or regard him at all, but also make him commit a thousand gross and absurd errors.   

The 66. Apologue, showing how men are abused by the Pope.  
Certain Germans being asked why they went not to Rome as the custom was? answered, that it was because they did no more give credit to the jubilees and Indulgences of the Pope, but only to the indulgences of jesus Christ, which through faith are offered by God, in all places and to all persons: when the other replied that it were good to go thither, if for no other cause, but to see the City of Rome, which is so famous and admirable for monuments of antiquity: they answered and said, Seeing that for a long space, we have been so blind and foolish that we have believed that Antichrist was our God, and upon that confidence have not spared our purses to buy Paradise, we are now much ashamed to go abroad, & to be seen and known to be Germans.   

Thr 67. Apologue, whereby is declared the great perfection of the Chartreuse Friars.  
THe Chartreuse Friars do in virtues exceed all other religious men, which is proved, first, because they keep Charity always locked in their Cloisters for fear lest they should lose her, and never suffer her to enter into the Hospital where they lay their Sick, lest she should be infected with their diseases. Again, they never suffer dame poverty to come amongst them, lest that being a woman she should defile their chastity. Thirdly, because they would not offend through disobedience, they keep themselves for the most part in their chambers to the end that no man should command them any thing. Fourthly, the greatest part of their time they spend in sleep, that they may observe the great virtue silence. Fiftly, they keep patience alway prisoner lest she should escape them, so that there is none among them hath patience, but he that is in prison. Sixtly, they eat alone that they may lay up what they leave. Lastly, that they may be humble in the lowest degree, they tie their humility at their heels.   

The 68 Apologue, wherein is showed of what sort the life of the Monks is.  
THe Monks of S. Benet were in hand with a young man of a village near unto them, to have him be their Gardener: and he told them that he would speak to his father about it, and give them an answer on the morrow; but when his father understood of it, although he were a very old man, yet the next morning he went unto the Abbot, and made a great complaint unto him, saying that the Monks would mar and corrupt his Son. How corrupt him? said the Abbot. we would have him be our Gardener, and do him good, and not harm; then the old man said, my son is a very careful young man, willing to take pains, and hath so strong and able a body to endure labour, that he can work night and day, though his fare be but bread and water: but you would make him a sluggish and slothful fellow, yea and a glutton too; wherefore do not you think to have him, for althhugh you would give him twenty Crowns wages by the year, and all the shoes which he should wear out, yet he should not serve you. Then the Abbot said, that they would make him labour hard and give him but moderate diet. As it is unpossible (said the old man) to be in company with Millers, and not be defiled with their meal: so a man cannot frequent the company of gluttonous, floathfull and Idle persons, but he shall be infected with their gurmundizeing, and sluggish kind of life. Moreover my son shall lose his credit for ever hereafter, and never get him any other Master, for who will accept of his service, when he understands, that he hath lived with Monks: nay, every one will say unto him, get hence, thou art not for my purpose; for all men will persuade themselves that he is become a sluggish and unprofitable person, and so he left Mounsieur Abbot without a Gardener.   

The 69. Apologue, whereby is showed what good the Monks do in visiting the sick.  
A Certain man having learned the true knowledge of jesus Christ, and that his souls safety did consist in him alone, made his only son partaker thereof. And within a while after it came to pass that his son fell sick, and in the extremity of his sickness had a con●●●t with the Devils, who tempted him, as they who were present might easily perceive; wherefore his friends were very desirous to send for the Monks to drive them away: but his father withstood them saying, that it was sufficient to pray unto God for him: notwithstanding, when he was gone abroad about some business his friends sent for the Monks; who were no sooner entered into the Chamber, but the Devils left the sick man, as he himself witnessed; not long after his father returned, and as he was coming into the Chamber, he heard the Monks exhorting him to put his trust in S. Francis, and his meritorious works, and in the absolutions and pardons of the Pope, wherefore being very angry, he took the gentlemen by their frocks and haled them out of the Chamber, as they were well worthy: but his friends said, alas, what do you mean in such sort to thrust out those holy and religious men? who as soon as they came into the chamber, made all the Devils fly away, for they could not abide in their presence. Then the good old man answered, I do easily believe you, for where these Devils are, all other are needless and superfluous. Did not I hear them exhorting my son to put his trust in their trumperyes, leaving the confidence which he ought to have in God through jesus Christ? And so shutting the do over upon the Monks, he exhorted his son to put all his trust and confidence in God alone.   

The 70. Apologue, concerning the beard of the Capuchin Friars.  
THere was one marveled much at the long beards of the Capuchin Friars, and a man in his company told him that the reason why they did wear them so long, was that, being they were young plants, they might through feigned devotion, and seeming gravity, take deep root in the hearts of men.   

The 71. Apologue, showing the folly of them, who do alms to the Monks.  
A jacobine preacher on a time inveighing against the Monks, amongst other things. said thus unto his auditors, all of ye deal very preposterously and foolishly, for if a wolf at any time be seen in your fields, ye presently set upon him with dogs and outcries to kill him, or at least to chase him away, and yet he cometh but seldom, and then constrained by hunger, being not otherwise able to live; and if heedde escape unespied he killeth but one sheep at the most: but on the contrary ye kindly entertain and do alms to the Cordeliers of the observance, worshipping them as Saints, and yet they are domestical wolves, far more dangerous than those which are wild: for although they can well live (as they ought) by their own labour, yet without any necessity they are daily at your gates, and devour not only your sheep, but also your Calves, your poultry, your bread, and wine, and other of your goods, and finally your credit and souls.   

The 72. Apologue, by which we may perceive what are the Consciences of the Popes.  
POpe Paul minding to give Parma and Placentia to his son, proposed his purpose in the Consistory: and some of the Cardinals withstood him, saying, that he could not do it without danger of damnation, and proved it by divers reasons. But the Pope answered and said: If S. Paul had so great Charity, as to desire to be an Anathema, and separated from Christ, for his carnal brethren's sake, why may it not also be permitted to us, to go to the Devil through charity, that we may exalt our own son? To this the Cardinals (being vanquished by the authority of S. Paul) could not tell what to answer, and therefore they suffered him to do what he would.   

The 73. Apologue, showing how much authority the Pope hath over Paradise.  
POpe Leo bring at the point of death made show of great trouble of Conscience, and anguish of mind. Wherefore his Confessor said unto him, what do you fear? you have the keys of Paradise, and of all the merits of jesus Christ, and there is none hath such authority and jurisdiction over them as you; then the Pope answered, do you not know that he which selleth any thing, hath no right in it after it is sold? wherefore I fear lest that we, who have heretofore sold Paradise, jesus Christ, and his merits to others, shall now have no right nor interest in them ourselves.   

The 74. Apologue showing a reason of the common saying that Antichrist shall be borne of a Monk and a Nun.  
A German asked a learned man, whether it might be found in the Bible that Antichrist ought to be borne of a Monk and a Nun according to the common saying? and he answered no, and that in all the holy Scriptures there was no mention at all made either of Monk or Nun: whence then (said the German) cometh it to pass that this saying is so commonly used, whereas (said the learned man all men knew that Antichrist must needs be a great and extraordinary sinner, it seemed likely and agreeable to the truth, that he should be borne of such persons as were notorious sinners above all others; now because amongst Women, none are so bad as the Nuns, and amongst Men, none so wicked as Monks, men judged he should be borne of a Monk and a Nun.   

The 75. Apologue, carping at the ignorance of the Papisticke Bishops.  
A Certain man being asked what the two parts of the Episcopal Mitre did signify? answered that the part before did signify the new Testament, and that behind the old, and that the Bishops did wear them on their heads, to show they both aught to be well understood of them and laid up in their hearts; being asked again what the two labels did signify which hang on the right side, and the other on the left? he answered that they did show, that the Bishops did understand neither the one nor the other of them.   

The 76 Apologue, showing where the Pope's holiness lies.  
THere was a man in Rome which did mock at them who did call the Pope most holy, and demanded of them whether he were more holy than jesus Christ, who is the Saint of Saints, and the holiest of all? we know well enough (said he) that he is a sinful man as we are, yea that he is an extraordinary sinner. so that all his holiness is in his heels; then (said another which was present) that is the reason that men use to kiss his feet, namely because his holiness lies in his heels.   

The 77. Apologue, by which is showed in what Pope Leo was a good Cock.  
IAmes Saluiaty having some occasion to, speak to with Pope Leo, came one morning very early to the Palace, and had much ado to get in to the Pope, because the Grooms of his Chamber were all asleep. Yet, when at last he was got in, he found that the Pope had been up a good while before. Wherefore wondering at it, he said, Holy father, you were up very early this morning: It is true said the Pope we are a good Cock, you are not a good Cock (said Saluiatie) to waken your Servants, for I found them all asleep; you are not a good Cock to Crow, for you have a very bad voice: & as touching fight you are not a good Cock, for you are so fat and gross that you can hardly go, much less fight well: it remaineth then that you be a good Cock in scraping in the earth as he doth, or else in satisfying many women as he contenteth many hens. At this the Pope laughed hearty, and confessed that he had said the truth.   

The 78. Apologue, showing that one cannot be Pope and an honest man.  
AFter the death of julius the second Leo (although he were a very young man) was created Pope▪ because all men thought him to be a holy and religious man; but after he had been Pope a while, he proved a notorious sinner, and a dissipator of the Church's goods: wherefore on a time, certain ancient Cardinals reprehended and chid him handsomely for his evil life. And he answered and said, If we are wicked, let it be imputed to you, for you are they which have made us such as we are; the Cardinals thought his words very strange, and asked him how they had made him wicked▪ than he answered; it was in making me Pope; for it is unpossible at the same time to be both Pope and an honest man.   

The 79. Apologue, of the folly of the Cardinal of Lunes.  
THere were some that had made the Cardinal of Lunes believe, that the eating of salt did damage and impair the health of the body; wherefore that he might live long without sickness, he would never eat salt in any kind of meat; when a certain man understood of it, he said it is no marvel if the Cardinal of Lunes be a fool seeing that he doth never eat any salt.   

The 80. Apologue, by which is showed the quality of the Monasteries.  
A Gentlewoman of Sienes on a time meeting with a Sister of hers, amongst other things, said unto her; I am much grieved in mind by reason of my Daughter, who is you know already marigeable, and to tell you the truth she hath so little wit, that I am ashamed of her; for so simple and foolish she is, that one might easily make her believe that the Moon is made of a green Cheese (as the proverb is) wherefore I am afraid to marry her lest she should be a laughing stock to all that come in her company. And her Sister answered place her then in a monastery for a time, and you shall find that by frequenting the company of Nuns, and other young Maids, she will be changed; for indeed it is no marvel if she be so simple, seeing that you keep her always locked up in your house, not having any to keep her company; now the Gentle woman, following the advise and counsel of her Sister, placed her in a Monastery, where she had not been a year, but being sent for home, she showed that she knew more than her mother. Insomuch that when she met with her sister again, she said, I desired that it might rain, and not that there might be a deluge: but my Daughter is of a little Angel become a great Devil; for I think that if she had been this time among so many Devils, she could not have learned more wicknednes than she knows.   

The 81. Apologue, showing what thing the Popedom is.  
POpe Clement (being very angry by reason of letters which he had received from England) sent for the English Ambassador and said unto him: we understand that your king saith, that we are not Pope nor vicar of Christ on earth; then the Ambassador answered, surely, Holy Father it is but your imagination: an imagination (said the Pope) we have a letter to confirm the truth thereof. If it be so (said the Ambassador) it may be that the King's Secretary did misunderstand him. He that wrote this (said the Pope) hath written nothing but plain and manifest things. Then the Ambassador said, it may be that the Secretary did of purpose write that which was false to breed discord between your Holiness and the Majesty of the King my Master. But the Pope said, he that wrote these letters is an honest man, and one that desireth peace and unity betwixt us: perhaps then (said the Ambassador) the King spoke these words in his anger, and is now of another mind: that cannot be (said the Pope) for he spoke them in the presence of his Counsel, and with good advice, for he added that it was the opinion of all the learned in his Realm. If it be so, (said the Ambassador) that this is no feigned thing, but that it was written by a man fearing God, and faithfully executing the King's command, and that the King spoke them not in his anger; be you assured that he hath spoken the truth; for so well am I persuaded of the King's wisdom, that I know he would not publicly have spoken a thing of so great importance, if he had not been certain that it was true. What (said the Pope) will he take the Popedom from us? persuading his subjects that we are not Pope: then the Ambassador said, If you be not truly Pope, the Popedom cannot be taken from you, because you never had it: and if you be, although all England do not hold you to be Pope, yet are you Pope notwithstanding; withstanding: then (said the Pope) we will be Pope in other places, where they will account us sa; and not in England whers they will not have us Pope. It followeth then (said the Ambassador) that if you be accounted Pope in no place; you are not Pope at all. It is true, said the Pope. If it be so (said the Ambassador) the Popedom in itself is no true thing, but only a dream and imagination of men. Wherefore the King my master saying that you were not truly Pope, said the truth.   

The 82. Apologue, by which is showed what kind of men the Popes and Popish Bishops are.  
THere was on a time a Bishopric of Florence void; and a young man of the same place well known to be a very wicked man, made all the means he could both with money and friends which he had at Rome, to obtain it: and indeed the Pope would very willingly have bestowed it on him, in regard that he offered great store of money for it, but he was ashamed considering the qualities of the person; notwithstanding he said to them which did solicit him in the matter, procure the Lord Duke to give us good information of him, and we will confer the Bishopric on him. Then the young man's friends went unto the Duke of Florence, & desired him that it would please his Grace to write unto the Pope, and give good testimonial of him, for all his preferment did depend thereon; and the Duke answered that he would do it without lying, wherefore to satisfy them, and perform his promise, he wrote unto the Pope, that the young man was worthy, not only to be Bishop, but also to be Pope, meaning thereby that he did abound with all kind of wickedness. Hereupon the Pope not understanding (or rather feigning that he did not understand) his meaning, as if the Duke had said he had been a very honest, learned, and religious man, presently made him Bishop.   

The 83. Apologue, showing the great fault of the Emperor Phoca.  
THere were certain learned men talking, and reasoning together of faults, which Emperors of Rome had committed; and in the end they concluded that the grossest, and most pernicious fault of all was that of the Emperor Phoca, when he granted to Boniface the third, that he should be Bishop of Bishops; for thinking to give him the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, he mistook himself and gave him the keys of Rome, and of the Empire. Wherefore it was Phoca, and not Constantine, who did enrich the Roman Church.   

The 84. Apologue, whereby is showed what are the deeds of the Popes.  
WHen Leo was made Pope, the Florentines made a great triumph: because he was the first Florentine Pope; and at that there was a man of Gennes in Florence, who making as though he did not know the cause of their rejoicing, demanded of some of the Citizens why they made such a great feast? and they as it were wondering at his question, said, what? Do you not know that we have a Florentine Pope? Is that then the cause (said the other) of your feasting and rejoicing? O foolish people! There is no place except Rome, which hath had more Popes out of it then Gennes; so that if Popes would make their Country's happy, ours had exceeded others in happiness, whereas it is now more miserable than any other, and principally by reason of Genuan Popes, which have ruinated it, as Florentine Popes will ruinated and destroy Florence.   

The 85. Apologue, whereby is showed what are the exercises of the Monks.  
A Certain Proctor of the law, being desirous to become a Monk of S. Benner, did discover his mind to some Monks of the same order; and they promised him to speak to their Abbot about it, not doubling but they should prevail. Now when they did first commence their suit, the Abbot inquired of them of what profession the person was? And they answered that he was a Proctor, who did frequent the Courts of Law, and had been exercised in pleading. Then (said the Abbot) let him not escape us by any means, he is the man we would have, for if he knows how to plead well, he cannot choose but be a good Monk, and so they received and invested him.   

The 55. Apologue, showing of what sort the Monasteries are, and what ought to be done unto them.  
THere was in times past a Monastery of Nuns, which by reason of factions and dissensions reigning in it (according to the custom of all other) as also for many other respects might very well be called hell. The Abbess well knowing it, on a day called all the Nuns together into the Chapter house and said unto them: ye see plainly how miserable our life is, in this place, where we live as it were in a coniinuall hell; and without doubt if we persevere in this kind of life, we shall one day go to the other. Ye know well that when we came first into this Monastery, we were pure as Angels, chaste, humble, devout, fervent to call upon God, charitable, and full of all virtues: but thinking to come hither, as to the school of perfection, we are become crafty, proud, factions, unchaste, enuicus, disobedient, covetous, yea filled with all kind of impiety; and yet every day we grow worse and worse, so that without all hope we shall be damned, if we do not in time seek some remedy. Wherefore I earnestly entreat you that if ye know any means to redress it, ye will impart it to me, and if it be good, I will very willingly put it in practice. Then one of them said, I think it good that we resign our offices to novices, (who are Angels in respect of us) and that we choose out of them, one to be Abbess, another to be Uicaresse, and another to be Mistress of the school, and so, for all other principal offices; and this we ought to yield unto, because they are not yet entered into our factions, nor divided among us, but are pure and virtuous, so that we being governed by them may procure our own safety, and after our deaths the Monastery will be reform. But all the rest opposed themselves against her, saying: Truly that were a fair matter, that we should become novices again, and now at length obey them which yet savour strongly of the world; and it were a great credit surely for us that the world should know that we had so resigned our offices to novices; it is far better (if you would not have the novices corrupted) that they govern themselves, and we ourselves; the other replied, that so of one Monastery they should make two, and beside the novices should have none to teach & instruct them in the Ceremonies of Religion. In the end, the Abbess seeing they could not agree among themselves, said, for my part I think it most expedient for us, that we burn the Monastery, and that all of us return some to our friends, where we may live peaceably, and honestly: this motion pleased them them all, and within a while after they set it on fire and departed.   

The 87. Apologue, showing the pride, covetousness, and foolish superstition of them that say they can deliver Souls out of Purgatory.  
IN a City of Sicily, the Cordeliers in their Sermons to the people, said that S. Francis did every year on his feast day descend into Purgatory, and deliver the souls of all that had given alms to his Friars; whereupon many men to be in the number of their Benefastors, gave them alms continually, that after death they might be delivered out of Purgatory by S. Francis: when the Friars of Saint Dominicke, or jacobines, (who are also called the Friars of the Virgin Mary) perceived that by this means, the people's alms was diminished in their endroit, they got up into the Pulpits and said, that the Virgin Mary, having more charity and authority than Saint Francis, did not suffer them which had been beneficial to her Friars, to lie a year in Purgatory, as he did but only seven days at the most; for (said they) every Satterdaie (which is dedicated to her) she descends into Purgatory, & delivereth all which have been benifactors to her Friars. After this, many believed in them, so that they also had great store of alms. When the Friars of S. Augustine (called also the Friars of the Crucifix because their Church is dedicated to it) perceived this, they began to preach jesus Christ, and say that he being charity itself, and far more powerful than either S. Francis, or the Virgin Mary, did not suffer them which believed in him alone, to enter into Purgatory at all, but sent them immediately into Paradise. And after that, many did address themselves to jesus Christ, wherefore the Inquisitors (or rather Inquinators) of the faith, approving the opinion of the Cordeliers, and also that of the jacobines: but on the contrary reproving & condemning of this the Friars of S. Augustine, as false & heretical, cited them to appear before them; & said they would have them burnt, because they were so bold to magnify and exalt jesus Christ above the Saints. For (said they) if this were true which ye say, it would follow that not only the Saints but also the Pope himself, should have no authority in Purgatory.   

The 88 Apologue, by which is showed what are the fruits of the Confessionals and Confessors.  
A Certain man having many sons and daughters did nourish and bring them up carefully: not suffering them to frequent the company of any out of his own house, for fear lest they should be lead aside into any kind of vice; and he himself supplied the place of a master, for he both instructed them in good learning, and was unto them an example of virtue and piety; But it happened for all this, that in time they became all very wicked, committing among themselves much dishonesty. When their father perceived it, he much wondered and grieved at it, and calling them unto him, he sharply reprehended them, and demounded of them where, and of whom they had learned so great wickedness? and they answered that they learned it out of the book which he gave them to study in, and of the master which expounded it unto them; then their father said, I am sure that I suffered you to read none but honest books, and that you have had no other matter then myself, and I never taught you this dishonesty. Then they said, do you not remember, that when we were to make our confessions, you gave us a book called the Confessionall, commanding us to study our sins therein? Out of that book we learned all the evil we know, and because we did not understand the one half of the wickedness contained therein, our Master, that that is to say the Confessor, did expound it unto us, when their father heard this, he presently cast the book into the fire, charging and commanding them, that when they were to make their confessions, they should study none but the books of their own consciences, and that they should never after confess their sins to any, but God alone.   

The 89. Apologue, whereby is condemned the pride and ignorance of the Monks.  
A Carmelite on a time spoke much in the praise of his own religion, and preferred it before all other, principally, by reason of the antiquity thereof, saying, that the original of it was from Elias in mount Carmell, whence they were called Carmes, or Carmelites; and also that in the time of Christ there were no other Monks or Friars beside them. And one which heard him, said then S. Paul where he saith, Periculum in falcis fratribus, speaketh of you, seeing that there were no other Friars at that time, and consequently your religion is jewish, and not Christian▪ because it began before Christ. The Carmelite, not knowing what to reply, departed from him ashamed.   

The 90. Apologue, whereby is discovered and condemned the ridiculous covetousness, and superstition of the Cordeliers.  
IN Florence the Cordeliers, with many fair words exhorted a Citizens to hire them to say the Masses of S. Gregory for a son of his which was lately dead, saying, that by them he should be delivered out of Purgatory, and he, making as though he were persuaded by their words, said unto them, go and say your Masses, and if my son be delivered by them, as your promise is, I will give you a crown; so the Cordeliers went to the Temple, and quickly mumbled up their Masses, and then returned to him for the crown, but he said first show me some token that ye have delivered my son out of Purgatory and then I will give it you; for so far am I from knowing that he is freed from Purgatory by your Masses, that I cannot tell whether he went thither or no when he died: when the Cordeliers saw he would not satisfy their expectation, they went unto the Duke, humbly entreating him that he would do them justice; and he presently sent for the Citizen to come before him, and asked him why he would not pay the Friars the crown which he promised them? Then he said, I did not promise them absolutely, but in case, that by their Masses they did deliver the soul of my son out of Purgatory: now seeing they can show me no good proof that he is delivered, I see no reason why I should give them the crown; when the Duke heard this, he turned to the Cordeliers and said, procure the soul which ye have delivered, to come and tell me that he was delivered by your Masses: or else to send two other souls to testify unto me that it is true which ye say, or at least to send me a writing subscribed with the hand of Christ to confirm your words, and ye shall presently have the crown, otherwise I cannot in justice compel him to pay it. When the Cordeliers had heard these words of the Duke they went their ways hanging down their heads and very much ashamed, but nothing at all amended.   

The 91 Apologue, showing that the Cordeliers of the Observance enjoy more worldly pleasure then all other.  
THere were certain men talking of the felicity of this world, and one of the company asked the rest whom they thought had the happiest life of all? and an old man answered him, that the Cordeliers did exceed all other in happiness; for first (saith he) as touching their goods, they are exempted from all tithes, impositions, taxes, charges, molestations, and troubles, they may have what they will, and yet they live in continual idleness. Again, they need not fear banishment, seeing that there are Monasteries every where, and that the folly and superstition of the world is such, and so great, that they should be sure never to want any thing concerning their credit, so grievous that if the viless rogue, and greatest sinner alive were of that order, he should be reverenced of all; and for carnal pleasures, man and wife from the first time they fall in love, have no greater delight and pleasure than they, for they never marry, that they may be free from the trouble, and charge of marriage, but as continual lovers, wholly apply their minds, by pleasant devices and love tricks to win the love and good will of the Nuns, devout sisters, and other of their spiritual daughters, as they term them. Finally, if we speak of their consciences, it is certain that they persuade themselves that they are perfect Saints, & that they can distrbute an overplus of their own merits to their benefactors: (& indeed they are so over charged with them, that if they did not disburden themselves on other, they were in danger by reason of the great and horrible weight of them, to sink down into the deep pit of hell) and they think that they never offend God, but judge themselves the greatest friends he hath on earth, so that they pass all the time of their life without any remorse of conscience, persuading themselves that Paradise is their own, as sure as if they had it in their hands.   

The 92 Apologue, showing the superstition of them that whip themselves.  
THere was on a time a Tyrant in a city of Italy, who fearing lest he should be stain by treason, did strictly forbid all kind of Masks, so that every one for fear of punishment did abstain from them; but it chanced that in the week which they call holy, certain young men appareled after the manner of whippers, went (as the custom is at that time in Italy) in procession through the streets, whipping themselves cruelly, to gain pardon for their sins. The Tyrant being certified of this, caused them to be aprehended, and brought before him, and then he demanded of them how they durst be so bold, to go masked contrary to his express commandment? But they answered that they were not masked, but only appareled after the manner of those that whip themselves. Then the Tyrant said, are ye not masked, when ye are so disguised that no man knows you? And the whippers answered, that they so disguised themselves, not with an intent to do any evil thereby, but to gain remission and pardon for their sins. If it be so (said the Tyrant) I hold you excused; and that I may not hinder but rather further your good work, and be partaker with you in it, you shall go hence to all the Temples in the Town, to gain pardon for your sins, and the Beadle shall follow you at the heels and whip you after his best fashion to ease you of your labour; and so he commanded that they should be our after another well scourged. Thus they who at the first went forth whipping themselves of their own accord, departed very much discontented, and well slashed by the Beadle.   

The 93. Apologue, showing that the Popes do nothing else but suck and eat the Church.  
IN the time of Pope Leo one asked a Florentine which came from Rome, what he brought thence? And he answered, good news; for the Pope hath given the Church to be a nurse to his kindred.   

The 94. Apologue, showing the liberty of a Council.  
POpe Paul the third being certified that the Council of Trent was fled away, did rejoice greatly for many reasons, but especially because by that flight the World might plainly perceive, that the Council was free and not tied; for if it had been tied, it could not have fled away as it did.   

The 95. Apologue, showing that the Emperor had not taken hold of a good occasion.  
THere were certain men talking of the Emperor's friends; and one asked them who they thought had been his greatest friend? And some said the Prince Dorie, other the Marquis of Pescaire, other Don Ferrand: but in the end there was one said, that it was Martin Luther, because that he had opened him the way, and given him the occasion to make himself an absolute Monarch, which notwithstanding he hath not made use of.   

The 96. Apologue, showing how Pope Paul repent.  
POpe Paul as he lay on his deathbed fell into an agony, & therefore was exhorted by his Confessor to have patience, and to bewail his sins, recommend himself to God, and have steadfast faith in jesus Christ: and after that his Confessor was departed, a private friend of his came unto him and said, holy father, have not these words of such great importance, which your Confessor spoke unto you, augmented the pain and grief of your heart? no surely, (answered the Pope) for they did not move me at all.   

The 97. Apologue, which showeth what evil proceedeth from bad examples.  
A Certain Gentleman reproving his son, said unto him, art thou not ashamed to live as thou dost? Thou dost not lead the life of a Gentleman, no nor of a Christian but of an idle, lewd & wicked fellow; for thou dost nothing else but eat, drink, sleep, & play, and do all the villainies which may be invented. And his son answered and said; Truly Father, I have hitherto thought that I had lived the holiest and most honourable life of all, seeing that such is the life not only of many Lords and Gentleman, but also of Priests, Monks, Prelates, and Cardinals, yea and of the Pope himself.   

The 98. Apologue, showing what manner of fellow the Pope is.  
THere were certain men talking together of the wickedness which was in the world, especially of whoredom and the Patrons thereof: and one of them said unto the other, whom do ye think to be the most notorious Band alive? And although for a time their opinions were different, yet at last with one consent they answered, that it was the Pope; for first, as a Band he is the Protector of that Whore he keepeth himself, and secondly is the safeguard, and Defender, not only of one Quean, but of more than fifteen thousands which are in Rome; so that he punisheth those which offend, or displease them, and doth participate with them in the gain which they make as appeareth by the yearly tribute they pay unto him.   

The 99 Apologue, whereby is discovered the unsatiableness of the Mend cant Friars.  
A Friar said on a time, that he did wonder the Sea did not increase, seeing that so many rivers did run into it daily, and not go out again; but a secular said unto him, ye ought much rather, to marvel at yourselves, seeing that every one throughout the whole Papisticke common wealth, doth give unto you, and ye give nothing to other, and yet like unsatiable gulls ye devour all, and so far are ye from being rich, that on the contrary, ye are always in one same estate of poverty.   

The 100 Apologue, whereby are showed the qualities of the Friars.  
TWo Cordeliers on a time met with some of the Monks of Saint Bennet, and mocking at them, said, we are in far better estate than you, seeing that we pay no tithes as ye do; & the Monks of S. Benet answered, and said unto them, it is not to be marveled at; for men do never shear Asses, nor milk Fores.   

The 101. Apologue, by which is showed what benefit men receive by the spiritual medicines of the Pope.  
THere was on a time in a city of Italy, a Physician of great fame, who did not cure the diseases of his patients, but with certain syrups and drugs made them stupid and senseless, in such sort, that although they did still remain sick, and worse than they were before, yet they felt no grief, but thought themselves cured; wherefore certain Monks reprehended him for it. And he said unto them, ye do the like, for so far are ye from curing those which are spiritually diseased; that on the contrary, with your human traditions, superstitions, and hypocrisies, ye make them inwardly stupid, and unsensible of their sins, and spiritual sicknesses, so that when they, giving credit to your lies, think themselves freed from them, they are in a far more dangerous estate than they were before.    

Epigram Englished.  
A Curate old within the Town of Bresse,  
Did an a time to Mass himself address:  
He was an honest man esteemed of all,  
But yet a great mishap did him befall,  
For's sight being bad, and also being in haste,  
I'th' Altar clothes he wrapped his God of paste:  
So when he minded was on him to feed,  
He could not find him out to serve his need.  
Wherefore he turned & gropt, & looked, & cried  
Ho, ho, thou devil, where dost thou now abide?  
FINIS.