THE THEATER OF THE Pope's Monarchy: Wherein is described as well the unclean Lives of that wicked generation, as also their Antichristian government, and usurped kingdom: Together with their horrible Superstition, and blasphemous religion, as it is now used at this present, where Antichrist the Pope & his members do bear rule.  
By Philip Stubbes.  
Imprinted at London by Thomas Dawson. 1585.   

To the right Honourable, Robert Lord Rich, his singular good Lord and Maecenas, Philippe Stubbes, wisheth all prosperity in this life with increase of Honour and eternal felicity in the heavenly hierarchy by jesus Christ.  
IN the Gospel after S. Matthew (right honourable, and my very good Lord) our saviour Christ teacheth us most notably, how to know and discern false Prophets, from such as be the true Pastors, & Ambassadors of jesus Christ: when he saith, They shall come unto you in sheeps clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves, you shall know them by their fruits. Then if the fruits of conversation be the ensigns, the badges, and cognisances to know false Prophets by (as our saviour saith they are) then surely may we judge, nay certainly persuade ourselves that the Papists are those false Prophets, Apostates, and seducers which the word of God speaketh of: as in the further discourse of this book shall manifestly appear: for not only do their works & fruits convince them hereof, but also their false, seditious erroneous, and heretical doctrine doth argue the same. But they will easily wipe away this blot: and say that we are those false Prophets of whom Christ speaketh of. To whom I answer, let their works, and doctrine be compared to ours, and both peyzed in the equal balance of God's word (the only touchstone to try all controversies by) and then shall it easily appear whether they or we are the false Prophets. Do not they come unto us in sheep's clothing, I mean in such habit as portendeth all kind of austerity, humility, and holiness of life outwardly: as namely, in their surplice, Copes, Tippets, forked Caps, Mitres, Hats, Crosiers, Hoods, cowls, Tunicles, Sandals, Shirts of hair, and a thousand other like playerlike garments? yea and do they not teach that all holiness consisteth in these rags? Is not this to come in sheeps clothing? But they will object, if this be so, why do you wear some of these garments? I answer, we have some of them in deed but that is upon sufferance and permission only, not upon constraint or necessity as theirs are. Besides, ours is commanded by a Christian Queen, and therefore lawful, theirs by antichrist, and therefore unlawful. Again we use them as things indifferent they as things of necessity, we repose no religion in them, they rely holy upon them.  
And for their doctrine, it is so erroneous, so corrupt, so seditious, nay so blasphemous, and Sacrilegious, that it would grieve a Christian man to think of it: As Prayer for the dead, justification by good works, Purgatory, Limbo Patrum, Inherent righteousness, Invocation to Saints, Transubstantiation, Adoration of Images, their seven counterfeit Sacraments extreme unction, christening of Bells, hallowing of churches & churchyards, making of holy bread, holy water, Auricular confession, shrift, penance, absolution, mass, matins, diriges, Lady Psalters, tapers, candles, beads censings, rings, perfuminge, & legions of like trumperies, which the word of God knoweth not: of all which points of doctrine of theirs I will entreat in a book by itself god willing very shortly, wherein shall appear whether they or we have the truth. This is their godly doctrine which there it come nearer to the word of God, or ours, let the world judge. And yet notwithstanding they set a fair face on it, they stamp and stare, & bear the world in hand, that theirs is the truth. For say they, our doctrine standeth upon sure pillars, antiquity, universality, generality & the like. Our doctrine is proved by descent of Bishops from time to time, by consent of all nations and so forth, but your doctrine is new and start up the last day, etc. But whether theirs or ours be the newer it shall appear in the discourse following. First we are able to prove that our doctrine is ancienter than theirs, ye as ancient as God himself whose truth it is. And first to begin with the divine institution in Paradise: we read that God the father gave unto Adam his word & commandment, to wit: Thou shalt not eat● of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, engraving, and as it were imprinting, this word & commandment in the heart of Adam, and in him, in all his posterity. By the which law, of conscience than lived almost 2000 years without any other law or word written, being guided & directed by the holy Ghost in all their actions: the 2000 years being ended, & men waxing dissolute, licentious & wicked, the Lord (as Theophilactus witnesseth) disdaining to speak to them any longer by his spirit for that they became wicked, gave them a Law, (for before they had no written Law, God appearing to them I mean the fathers and patriarchs, in visions in apparitions, in dreams, sometime in the form of angels, & wayfaring men, sometime in one shape, sometime in an other, according as their weakness could bear) written by the finger of God in two tables of stone, which is the x. commandments. Then Moses at the commandment of God committing to writing, the x. commandments with his other five books, as he was taught and directed by the suggestion of the spirit of God, ruled the Israelites thereby. The old testament being thus written by the servant of God Moses, & his faithful prophets at the commandment of God▪ continued in force till the coming of Christ, which was in effect 2000 years after. Then our saviour jesus Christ, coming in the flesh, gave in commandment to his Evangelists, Apostles, and prophets to write the new testament, which they, by the direction of god's spirit, did most happily perform. These 2. testaments now, the old & the new God be thanked, we have. Now let the papists disprove this if they can, or if they have any other Gospel, let than bring it forth: They cannot deny, but we have the same word of god which God the father, our saviour Christ & the holy ghost have given to the world: & this being granted, it must needs follow, that our doctrine is true, & theirs most false Now let them derive their antichristian doctrine lineally from such antiquity, & truth as this, if they can: but that they shall never be able to do. For their doctrine hath been longer in patching, than Solomon's temple was in building. Yea within these x or xii. hundred years, there was not a scrap of their pesteferous doctrine coined: no the egg was not then laid that hatched that poisoned Cockatrice. Then the truth of god's word through the iniquity of time, beginning by little & little to suffer eclipse, at the last sprang up such mountains of heresies, & corruptions, cast out of the bottomless pit, & as it were spewed out of the devils mouth, that the truth was altogether obscured.  
Then Antichrist the pope sprung up challenging superiority over all the face of the earth, and he begun the Romish religion, & so every one succeeding him put to somewhat yea every Friar, Monk, Abbot, Prior, Provost, parson, Vicar, Cardinal, and even all in general added to it, every one a patch. So that the papists religi- (if it may be called a Religion) is nothing else than the shreds, the pieces and patches, the dross & dregs of corruptible men: & ours the doctrine of the holy ghost. But although that it could not be proved that our doctrine is ancienter than theirs, yet the truth of the same dependeth not upon the antiquity. For Christ saith in the Gospel, Ego sum via, veritas & vita: I am the way, the truth, and the life. He saith not, I am custom, I am antiquity. And therefore I say Antiquitas sine veritate est vetustas erroris: Antiquity without truth, is the ancient of error. Custom, nor antiquity can not make that true, which in the beginning was false: neither can the novelties, or newness of any thing make that faise, which of itself is true. Hereby it is manifest, that the papists doctrine is a doctrine of novelty (I had almost said of divilry) and ours a doctrine of all ancientness the ancientest: and yet would they carry away the truth with a counterfeit show of antiquity. And whereas also they depend so much upon universality forsooth, god be thanked, their doctrine is not so universal, as they make fare of. For if the number of them that have received it be compared to the number of them that have not received it, they shall seem not to be one for a thousand, nay not one for ten thousand. For all the east church never received his doctrine, the Greek Church never admitted it. The greatest part of Italy, of France, of Flaunders, Rushia, Muscovia, Denmark, England, Scotland, Ireland, and many other countries beside, have utterly cast off his Antichristian yoke & usurped government. And therefore is not his doctrine so universal as he would persuade the world. But they will say, who shall be judge of the truth of our and your Doctrine betwixt us, I answer, the word of God according to this saying of our saviour Christ. Verbum quod ego predicavi vobis judicabit novissimo die: The word that I have preached unto you, shall judge in the last day.  
But to leave their doctrine, and to come to their lives▪ it is objected, they live well, and are plentifuller in good works than we, therefore their doctrine and their faith is the truth. I answer there is a non sequitur or rather a mere Fallax in this argument, for good works before the world is one thing, & good works before God is another. Those which in the eyes of the world seem to be good works, may be before god most filthy & abominable: except they spring out of a lively faith it is unpossible they should please God, as Paul sayeth. The jews, the Turks, the Pagans, and Infidels do good works outwardly (as it should seem) but because they are without Faith, they please not God. And even such are our papists good works: if they may be called, Good works, and not rather Civilia opera civil works or works of office, which the devils themselves may do. Besides this, if they do any good works, they are most detestable and loathsome before God, because they seek to be justified and saved by them, yea to merit heaven, & to make God greatly indebted and beholden unto them. And therefore I conclude that the papists although they do never so many good works outwardly, yet are they but hypocritical, and no true good works indeed. They err in the nature of good works also: for those whereupon the Lord hath set his seal and brand of curse and malediction for ever, they call good works: as namely the building and erecting of abbeys, nunneries, priories monasteries, & other religious houses, guilding of Images, erecting of Idols and statuaries in churches: creeping and offering to crosses, giving of money to buy cups chalices, copes, & other rich ornaments of the church. To bestow largely upon bells, but specially upon priests and clarks to sing mass for their souls, diriges trentals, Ladies Psalters, suppressing of God's word, slaying, murdering & killing of God's Saints for the maintenance of their kingdom, & a thousand like, which they call good works, but indeed are the works of the Devil. But such as the word of God doth commend unto us for good works, as namely, to visit those that are in prison, to cloth the naked, to feed the hungry, to lodge the harbourless, to relieve the poor & needy, to help poor orphans, widows and fatherless to their right, and such other good works, with them they have nothing to do, or if they have, they do them in such sort, and with such a mind, and intention, as they are not to be called good works, in respect of the end, as I have showed before. Thus we (see right honourable & most illustrious Lord) how they delude the world with their preten●ed show of good works and doctrine: neither whereof are agreeable to the word of God. For as for them, they have not, nor will have any thing in the Church but men's traditions, humane inventions, and vain constitutions of corruptible men, form and framed in the forge of their own deceitful brains, whereas the Lord speaking from heaven, saith, Hic est filius meus dilectus ipsum audite. This is my well-beloved son hear him, hear him. And in the Gospel after S. Matthew, our saviour Christ saith: In vain do they worship me, teaching the doctrines and traditions of men: And yet for all this they will have nothing in the church, but the vain traditions of men, clean contrary to the word of God. And, as for their adulterate lives, if any man weigh them in the balance of impartial judgement, he shall find them worse than the Sodomites, how soever they blanch them, and set a gloss upon them, to blear the eyes of the world withal. And no marvel, that they live most vilely. For when they have done, they have a trick of Legerdymayn to absolve themselves a culpa & paena, that is from the fault be it never so heinous, & from the punishment due for the fault. All which abuses because I have laid them down more at large in the further process of this book, I will refer your honour to the same.  
And now (my very good Lord) to bend to bend my style towards your honour. What shall I say? May it not be wondered, with what face I have presumed to dedicate this work to your Honourable Lordship rather than to many others? Truly it may so. But two things in especial have moved me thereto: the one, the Godly affection & zeal which your Lordship beareth in sacred breast to the truth of God his word and true religion: the other the unfeigned goodwill and fidelity which I ever have and do bear to that honourable house, the very diadem and mirror of true nobility. And to say truth, to whom should one dedicate the fruits of his labours, but to such as be both learned themselves, and otherwise famous and illustrious? which thing (if it be so) to whom should I present these few blossones of my immature studies rather than to your honourable Lordship? whose worthy fame not only for your incomparable courtesy, affability, and gentleness towards all men, but also and in especial for your singular zeal to God his sacred truth, integrity of life, liberality towards them that have need, valour, prowess, magnanimity, or else whatsoever may decore or beautify true nobility, is blown through out all Europe. Which brute through the golden trump of fame, sounding in my ears, excited me the rather to present this my book to your sacred honour, rather than to any others: most humbly beseeching the same not only to pardon my great presumption in this my bold attempt, but also to receive the same into your honours patronage and protection, defending as well the author from the open violence of malicious enemies, as also the book from the slanderous tongues of flouting Momus, and railing Zoilus, to whom all good things are had in contempt, and I shall daily pray to God for your honourable Lordship long to continue in health, and prosperity both of body and soul with increase of much honour, reward of laudable virtue, and eternal felicity in the heavens by jesus Christ.  
Your honours most humble to command Philippe Stubbes.   

The Theatre of the Pope's monarchy, wherein is described as well the unclean lives of that wicked generation, as also their Antichristian government, and usurped kingdom: together with their horrible superstition, and blasphemous religion, as it is now used at this present, where Antichrist the Pope and his members do bear rule.  The Speakers. Philemon and Stuperius. Philemon. 
MY friend (Stuperius) seeing it hath pleased God that we be hear met together at this present so conveniently: let us spend the time in some such godly talk, and communication, as both may tend to the glory of God (for to that end chief was man ordained: 
Why man was created.  ) and also to the mutual edification one of another: knowing that at the day of judgement we must tender accounts, 
What accounts we must render at the day of judgement.  not only for all our thoughts, words, and deeds (whether they be good or bad) but also for every least moment of time that hath been lent us in this life, how we have spent and bestowed the same.  Stu. 
I am very glad (brother Philemon) to hear you so well affected. And with all my heart, I will obey your good advertisement and godly request: assuring you, that I rejoice not a little of such a good companion. For indeed (as you say) all our speeches ought to tend to the glory of GOD. 
All our speeches ought to be to God's glory.  And therefore when we speak, we ought to follow the commandment of the Apostle, who sayeth. Si quis loquitur, ut sermo Dei loquatur. That is, If any man speak, let him speak as the word of God teacheth him. Again, we have an other commandment given us by God himself in the sixth of Deuteronomie namely that we talk and commune of the word of God, when we rise up in the morning, 
We ought always to talk of the word of God.  when we are at our meat, when we lay us down to sleep, when we walk abroad by the way, when we are at home in our houses, or whatsoever we do else, all our communication ought to be of God, and of his wondrous works. And the Apostle in another place willeth us that our communication be such, as may give grace to the hearers, and not offence to any. But now adays the cleave contrary is every where practised. For if any man talk of the word of GOD never so little a while, doth it not movere nauseam as it were, that is, seemeth it not loathsome, when in the mean time too talk of bawdry, 
Filthy talk counted a creation.  of filthiness and uncleanness, a whole hour, a whole day together, yea all their lives thorough seemeth a recreation (as they call it) and an exercise most pleasant. But if they would remember what our saviour Christ saith in the gospel of S. Matthew 12. chap. 
Mat. 12.  I think they would take heed what they said. De omni verbo otioso homines reddituri sunt raetionem nouiss●me die. That is: Men shall give account of every idle word at the day of judgement. Again he telleth them that Exsermonibus suis iustificabuntur, & ex sermonibus suis condemnabuntur. 
A caveat for unclean talkers.  Of their words they shall be justified, and of their words, they shallbe condemned. If they would be mindful of this, I doubt not, but they would leave off to interlace their speeches as they do with bawdry, scurrility, wantonness, & blasphemy, with swearing, cursing, and banning, rather resembling herein the infernal furies then sober wise Christians.  Phile. 
You have said well. And therefore the Apostle james biddeth us, if we be merry, to sing Psalms, & if we be sad or sorrowful to pray: by which rule of the Apostle is forbid and condemned all filthy talk or communication contrary to the word of God, 
All filthy talk condemned.  all unclean words, wanton songs, lascivious sonnets, bawdy ballads, and all other profane talk whatsoever▪ For wherefore did the majesty of GOD give unto man the use of the tongue above all other creatures, 
Why God gave man the use of the tongue.  but to this end? namely, that he might glorify his Creator therewith, and edify his Christian brethren? And therefore that we may discharge our duties, as well in the one as in the other, let us descend into some particular points, which we may handle to the glory of God, and our mutual edification.  Stupe. 
I am well contented, proceed in God's name, and demand what you will.  Phile. 
I pray you how many churches are there generally?  Stupe. 
To speak generally there be two Churches. 
Two Churches.  to wit, the Church of God, & the Church of the Devil: the beloved spouse of Christ, & the whorish synagogue of Satan, the Elect, and the Reprobate, the vessels of salvation, & the vessels of damnation.  Philem. 
How many fold is the Church of God?  Stupe. 
Two fold, militant, and triumphant. Militant is that, which being dispersed every where upon the face of the earth, 
Militant church what it is.  fighteth and warreth daily against the Devil, the world & the flesh. And Triumphant is that, 
Church triumphant what it is.  which being delivered out of this life, resteth in eternal glory. Both which Churches Militant & Triumphant, as they be members of one mystical body (Christ jesus) so shall they a●ter the dissolution of this life, be united together as members of the same body, 
Church triumphant and militant all one.  christ jesus being their head. And albeit that they be distinct in time and place only, yet make they both, but one true Church of God, as many members make but one perfect body.  Phile. 
How many fold is the Church malignant?  Stupe. 
Two fold, the wicked & reprobate, which live here militant upon the earth, & the wicked reprobates which are departed hence, which last may be called the Church infernal.  Phile. 
Why call you it militant?  Stupe. 
Because it fighteth & warreth against God, against Christ jesus his word, against his glory and sacred truth in all things, yea, and against all godliness and virtue in general.  Phile. 
Why call you it the Church infernal?  Stupe. 
Because it being dissolved, liveth in eternal pains, suffering (in the justice of God,) the punishment of everlasting damnation. And even as the mylitant & triumphant Church of God, do make but one body: so these Churches of the devil, both which do live here, & whiare departed hence do make but one body also, the Devil being the head thereof,  Philemon. 
What do you call the Church of God?  Stupe. 
I call the Church of God, the universal number, 
What the church of is.  & society of all Christian people, dispersed throughout the whole world agreeing together in one truth, one faith, and one hope of eternal life by jesus Christ.  Phile. 
What be the marks and tokens whereby this church is known, and discerned from the Church malignant, and synagogue of sathan?  Stu. 
They be many, but especially these. The true preaching of the word of God, the due administration of the sacraments, 
The infallible narkes of the rue Church.  the execution of Ecclesiastical discipline according to the prescript rule of God's word, and the like. So that where thou seest these things duly & truly practised, know thou that there is the undoubted church of God. Upon the other side where thou seest all these things neglected (as it is in the papacy) nay clean impugned, know thou, that there is not so much as the face of the true visible Church of God but the sergeant church of Satan where the Devil maketh his continual residence.  Phile. 
Seeing that the Lord hath his Church his beloved spouse, and chosen congregation in this world, whom hath he constituted the supreme head, and governor of the same.  Stupe. 
Christ jesus whose the body is, must needs be the head of the Church, 
Cor. 11.3.  according to the saying of the Apostle. I will that you know that Christ is the head of every man. 
●e. 1.22.  Again, God hath made all things subject under his feet, and hath appointed him over all things to be head over the church. In another place he saith: 
Ephe. 4.15.  But let us follow the truth in love, and in all things grow up in him, which is the head, that is Christ. And to the Collossians he saith plainly thus: 
Colos. 1.18.  And he (meaning Christ) is the head of the body of the Church. Again in the second chapter following he saith: 
Colos. 2.10.  And ye are complete in him, which is the hear of all principality and power. And further in the book of Samuel he saith: 
2. Sam. 22.44.  Thou hast delivered me from the contentions of my people, thou hast preserved me to be head over nations, etc. By all which places (besides infinite the like, 
Christ the only head of his body the church▪  which, fearing lest I might seem tedious, I omit) it appeareth that Christ jesus only is the sole, true, & only head of his body the church, and not any other power or principality upon earth whatsoever. And although that Christ be the only universal & peremptory head of his Church, yet my meaning is not to deny Christian Princes that lawful power and authority which the word of god doth allow them: 
How princes are heads over the church of God.  that is to be the chief heads over every several Church or congregation, and over every particular person and member of the same, within their kingdoms and dominions as his lieutenants, and Uicegerents under him, to rule and govern the people of God by the rule and sceptre of his word.  Phile. 
But I have hard that no christian prince can be head over the Church of God, but the pope only, what is your opinion in that?  Stupe. 
In deed the Pope (I will not deny) is Supreme head over the universal Church upon the earth: 
The pope head over the church of Satan.  but of what universal Church? Of the Catholic or universal church of satan (according to my former division). Of this malignant church I confess he is the only Supreme head. But over the church of God, 
The pope no head over the church of god, nor any member of the same.  the Spouse of Christ jesus, he is so far from being head, that he is not so much as a perfect member of the same: For proof whereof, do mark but this one reason: he that impugneth the word of God, and the doctrine of Christ jesus wittingly and willingly is no true member of Christ jesus. But the Pope (as the world beareth witness) in all his Acts, doings, and proceedings generally, impugneche the word of GOD both wittingly and willingly, ergo, neither he nor any of his Adherents are the true members of the mystical body of Christ jesus.  
And notwithstanding, 
The pope in pudent.  that he is convinced both by the word of GOD, the testimony of his own conscience, & the common verdict of all the world, that he is so far from being the supreme head over the Universal Church of Christ upon the earth, that he is not any true member thereof, 
The pope d●●ludeth the world.  yet he beareth (or would bear) the world in hand, that he is the only Supreme head over the Church of GOD, that Christ jesus hath made and constitute him his Vicar, and lieutenant general, to rule and reign according too his own corrupt humour. But how falsely he arrogateth this superiority to himself, every man (except wilfully blind) may perceive. For is not the Church of GOD, 
The Pope a varlet.  the wife and Spouse of Christ jesus? Than how dareth he challenged to be head over another man's wife? Is he not a varlet, that will require it? and is not the wife a harlot that will permit it? And is not that a monstrous body, which hath more heads than one? Therefore co conclude, Christ jesus is the only Supreme head of the Church, 
●●rist jesus, & ●●t toe pope is ●●ad over his ●●urch.  and not the Pope. The Pope hath his Church (to wit the malignant church, & Synagogue of Satan) whereover he is head. And as for the Church of God, he may let it alone, for he hath no part, nor fellowship therein, except he repent, and convert in time.  Phile. 
Who was the first of those lusty bruits, that challenged this Supremacy before all others?  Stupe. 
It is said that john Patriarch of Constantinople, began to take upon him to be called the supreme head, 
●ho challenged the name ●f universal ●●shop first.  or universal Bishop over all christendom. Then Bonifacius the third Bishop of Rome, seeing, that to be called head over all the world was a glorious title, obtained of Phocas the Emperor to be called head over all the world. in the year of our Lord .680. 
The pope haunched of a C●●catrices egg  And thus was the egg laid, that hatched this Cokatrice, with all his filthy puling brood.  Phile. 
There hath been & is great controversy amongst many concerning the Pope, of whom yet hitherto, I could never hear a perfect description. I pray you therefore what is the Pope?  Stupe. 
Are you such a simple fool that you know not what the Pope is? He is a man as others are, 
What the pope is.  but in all kind of mischief far surpassing any: who, by blood, murder, Simony, money, and a thousand such like indirect means usurpeth the Sea of Rome, where he sitteth as Bishop general, and head over all the world, even as Lucifer and and Beelzebub do in the kingdom of hell. 
The pope 〈◊〉 forth in hi● colours.  But if you will have a plainer description of him, he is a blasphemer, a sacrileger, an impostor, a seducer of the people, a false prophet, an Apostatae, a teacher of lies and fables, a father of superstition, and idolatry, an enemy to Christ jesus, and his word, a cruel Tartarian in sheadding of innocent blood, a homicide or murderer, a sour of sedition and dissension among Christian Princes, a perturber of the whole world, And to be short, even Antichrist himself, 
●he pope An●●christe.  the son of perdition, and first borne of Satan, whom Christ jesus shall destroy with the breath of his mouth.  Phile. 
This is an odd fellow in deed, wherefore doth he call himself by the name of pope?  Stupe. 
Because he would be thought too be some great and wonderful thing, and to be had in admiration amongst men. For whereas the Latin word (Papa) in English (Pope) was at the first a name common too all good Bishops, 
〈◊〉 a commō●●me to all B. 〈◊〉 fathers in 〈◊〉 time.  and fathers throughout the world, he like a greedy ambitious gripe, challendgeth that name properly to himself. And why? Forsooth because he may seem the grand captain over all the world. 
●hy the pope called Papa.  And therefore he greatly delighteth to be called Papa, that is Pope, or holy father, as it were pater patrum, the father of all fathers, & head of all people. 
●hereof papa ●●mmeth.  But some think (& not unlikely) that this word papa Pope, cometh of this interjection papè, which is a word of great wonder, & admiration, for when we hear any strange & uncouth thing that greatly amasseth us, we cry out in admiration of the same (papè) oh jesus, oh good Lord, what a wonder is this? So that by arrogating this name to himself he would bear the world in hand that he is some strange thing, and as it were some divine power sent down from the heavens.  Phi. 
Proceed further I pray you to declare unto me the glorious estate, the princely power, the large dominions, the infinite riches, the magnificent titles, & dignity of this monster, and worlds wonder the pope, as he will be called, for they say, that in these things, as in all things else he passeth all others  Stupe. 
There was never any earthly power, neither Emperor, king, prince, duke, 
No power upon earth comparable to the pope.  Lord, nor any other Potentate, no not Alexander the great conqueror of all the world, Hannibal, Catiline, Hector, nor any other that herein might compare with this greasy prelate: And no marvel. For whereas their power extended no further than from east to West, from North to South, and from one end of the earth to another: his power (or else the beast lieth) reacheth not only over all the face of the earth, and from one end of the world to another, but also from the earth too heaven (yea heaven is his own good, 
The wonderful power of the pope.  to bestow on whom he will at his pleasure,) from heaven to hell, from hell to purgatory, a place which neither God nor the devil ever knew, nor yet once hard of, till the pope who knoweth all secrets found it out.  
Now is it any marvel though his power be greater than all others upon earth, whereas he hath such absolute power and authority in heaven that the Angels are at his beck▪ in hell that the Devils tremble and quake at his check, 
The Pope greatly feared ●n purgatory.  and in Purgatory that the poor souls broiling in heat, look for release at his hands, and fear his Majesty a great deal more, than the glorious Majesty of GOD? These things how absurd soever they be, he blushsheth not to publish in books and pamphlets to the view of the world.  Phile. 
What arms gives this mighty Monarch, for seeing that his power is so great, it must needs be, that his arms are rich, and such as may set forth the glory and magnificence of his Papal estate?  Stupe. 
I am very unskilful in blazing of arms, for I was never herald in all my life: but yet I will tell you the best that I can. 
The Pope's arms which he giveth.  The Pope giveth the two cross keys, which he calleeh (falsely) Saint Peter's keys. These keys he blazeth very richly in gold and silver Scutcheons, thereby the rather to persuade the world, that neither Emperor, 
None can enter into heaven without the Pope's passport.  King, Queen, high nor low, rich, nor poor, can enter in●to the kingdom of heaven without the grant of his passport, & commission, & except he open, and unlock the gates. By force of these keys he persuadeth the world that it lieth in his power to open heaven gates to whom he will, and too shut them against whom he will, 
The force of the Pope's keys.  to send to heaven whom he pleaseth, and to throw down to hell again whom he thinketh good.  
This is a worthy knight Martial, I trow, and such a fellow as is too be feared. Is it any marvel though Kings and Princes, high and low, rich and poor, even all in general have trembled at the very name of the Pope? Thus playeth he both the juggler in casting mists before men's eyes, 
The pope playeth the juggler and the traitor together.  the rather to deceive them with his Devilish deceptions, and illusions: and also the false Traitor to GOD in stealing away the hearts of the people from the Lord.  Phile. 
How came he by these pretenced counterfeit keys, can you tell?  Stupe. 
I will tell you. As he cometh by all things else, that is, by usurpation, 
How the pope cometh by all things.  by false wresting, and writhing of Scriptures, and a thousand such like indirect means, which he hath coined in the forge of his own brain, And the better to bring his purpose about, he pleadeth to have received them from Saint Peter▪ who (as he falsely allegeth) was Pope of Rome before him. But least action be commenced against him, his Plea proved nought and himself a liar, it behoveth him first of all, 
Doubted whe●ther Peter wer●euer at Rome▪  to prove whether Peter was ever at Rome, which is doubted of many: nay clearly proved by as learned and famous men as have writ in all tongues, that he was never at Rome, much less Bishop or Pope there. And having proved that he was there (which he can hardly do) it standeth him then in hand to prove that he was Pope there, 
Peter never pope of Rom●  which neither he, nor all the world too help him with beside, shall never be able too do. Then having proved that he was there, and that he was Pope there also, yet helpeth it him not, except he can prove that Peter gave it him either by will, Deed of gift, Feaftment, or some other lawful grant, whereby he may with good conscience enjoy that, which both Christ jesus, the blessed Apostle Saint Peter, and all the rest of the Apostles in general did always refuse. 
The Pope pu● to his shifts.  Or if that he can not do this, let him then show us by what other hidden means it may come unto him, whether by lineal descent, by hereditary possession, or by what other conveyance. And having proved all this, yet helpeth it him nothing at all unless he can prove that Peter had such large power and authority as he pretendeth by these keys. These things if either he or a nigh of his whelps can prove unto me, 
The Pope's whelps.  than will I say more unto them: in the mean time I rest persuaded that he is so far from having any power in or over, 
The no pope member of the church of god.  the Church of God upon earth by reason of these keys, or any thing else, that he is not so much as a member of the same. But notwithstanding I confess, 
The spiritual keys of the kingdom of heaven.  that Peter received the Spiritual Keys of the kingdom of heaven, that is, the power of binding, and losing of sins, together with the power and gift of expounding, interpreting, and explaining of the holy Scriptures to the people. And not only did Peter receive these keys, but also all the rest of the Apostles with him, and in them, all other faithful Preachers, Pastors, Doctors, and Ministers of the Gospel as effectually, as fully, and as amply as the Apostles themselves.  Phile. 
What is meant by these keys?  Stupe. 
A key (ye know) is an instrument that men use, to open, and to shut withal. 
Wthat is meant by the keys.  Therefore is this Metaphor borrowed thereof: by which keys is meant potestas soluendi, & ligandi, the power of binding and losing: as I told you before in the Page precedent.  Phile. 
How is binding, & loocing performed?  Stupe. 
By preaching of the law, and the Gospel, as for example. When the law is preached, and the fearful threats, and comminations thereof thundered forth against any impenitent sinner, then may he be said to be bounden, and his sins to be retained. And when the glad tidings of the Gospel is preached too the penitent, and contrite sinner, 
How binding and losing is performed.  then may he be said to be loosed and his sins to be remitted.  
Again, when any one ariseth against the Majesty of GOD, and rebelleth against his laws and commandments without either remorse of conscience, fear of God, intention of amendment, or repentance at all, this man is bounden, and his sins retained. But upon the other side, if he sin of frailty, and afterward truly repenteth, amendeth, and turneth too the Lord withal his heart, 
How we are said to be bound and loosed.  with an intention never to commit the same offence again, and constantly believing in jesus Christ trusting too be saved and pardoned by his death, then is he loosed, and his sins clearly put away and remitted. In this sort, and in this case hath every faithful Pastor and Preacher of the Gospel, full, absolute, and Plenary power too bind the impenitent sinner, 
How the Ministers of the gospel have power to remit sin.  that is, to pronounce him by the warrant of God's word, to be bound, and to lose him again, that is, to pronounce him by the word of God too be loosed when he repenteth, and turneth to the Lord with all his heart, as I have said.  
Thus ye see the power of the keys, that is, 
Binding and losing restrained within the compass of God's word.  of binding, and losing, is restrained within the Pale and wall of God's word, and not in such a lavish manner, and ranging sort as pleaseth Magister noster, our great Master the Pope too determine. For if it were true, or could be proved, that the Pope had this Plenary power, too bind and lose whom he would without the warrant of the word of GOD, then would I not blame them if all the world went after him, and not only worshipped him as a man, but as a GOD upon earth. Is it any marvel though he hath with this Sweet Bait, 
The pope's venomous hook and poison bait.  and venomous Hook, drawn unto himself the most Kingdoms and Nations of the world? But now (GOD be thanked) they being better instructed in the word of GOD, and seeing his horrible Blasphemy, Superstition, Idolatry, and even devilry itself, have the most of them made Defection, and shrunk from him. And daily do they fall from his Antichristian kingdom, 
The most part of the pope's ●ingdomes are ●alne from him.  and the Lord grant that more and more may fall from him every day and hour, till there be none left with him, that God may be glorified and they eternally saved in the day of the Lord jesus.  Phile. 
Me think that men might easily spy out his doings being so detestable as they be, and having spied them out, might then eschew them, might they not?  Stupe. 
Yes: And God be praised, so they do daily, England hath spied out his knaveries: 
Kingdoms ●●lne from the ●●pe.  and therefore hath spewed him out. scotland hath done the like. France hath abandoned him. Germany hath utterly forsaken him: Yea, and part of his own country of Italy seeing his abominations, have and do daily fall from him, with infinite other places, Countries, and Nations, which for brevities sake I omit.  Phil. 
It cannot otherwise be, but having the word of God amongst them, they must needs find out his knaveries being so gross, that a man with half an eye (as they use to say) may easily perceive them.  Stupe. 
You say the truth. 
God's word the overthrow of the Pope's kingdom.  But if the word of God should once be set a; broach, and come to light, than (he knoweth it very well) his kingdom of ignorance, and darkness would soon decay and come to nought. And therefore to the end that he may the better maintain his kingdom of ignorance, he clappeth up the Bible, 
The Pope forbiddeth the reading of the Scriptures.  forbidding all men whatsoever to read it, or once to look one word upon it, and that upon pain of damnation: saying further that none ought to look upon it, but he and his rabbynes, or such others as he shall licence and authorize thereto by his bulls of dispensation. This is clean contrary to the doctrine of our saviour Christ, who biddeth us search the Scriptures saying. 
The Pope's doctrine contrary to Christ's.  Scrutamini Scripturas eae sunt enim qui testificantur de me. Which is, Search the scriptures, for those are they that bear witness of me. In an other place, he saith, Scrutamini scripturas, in eyes enim speratis vitam eternam habere. 
All men ought to search the Scriptures.  That is, search the scriptures, for in them you hope to have eternal life. This is contrary to the example of the Birreans in the Acts of the Apostles, 
Birreans their notable example.  who searched the scriptures daily to see whether the things preached by the Apostles were true, or not. Now whether it be better to obey Christ who commandeth us to search the scriptures or the Pope, who forbiddeth us the sight of them, judge you. And to the end that he may be sure to keep the world in Cymmeriis tenebris, in palpable darkness, & gross ignorance still, (for ignorance he calleth the mother of devotion, 
Ignorance the mother of damnation not of devotion.  whereas indeed it may well be called the mother of damnation) he not only locketh up the bible under strong locks, & keys, but also turneth it into a strange tongue, 
Bible locked up and in a strange tongue.  contrary to the doctrine both of our saviour Christ his blessed Apostle Paul, who commandeth that all things be done in the Church to edification, 
1. Cor. 14.  & in a known tongue: & also to the example of the primitive and Apostolical Church, who ever used to have the bible, and other divine books, in the mother tongue, which they understood. And as though this restraint were not bad enough, he giveth in charge that no man be so bold as to interpret or expound the scriptures, 
Scripture to be no otherwise interpreted, then pleaseth the Pope.  otherwise than he shall think meet in his commentaries, gloss, and paraphrases. Thus he would be thought too have all knowledge in his breast (for so some of his Sorbonisis have written of him, that in scrinto pectoris Papae conditur omnis scientia, that is, In the chest of the pope's breast, lieth hid all knowledge whatsoever) & to be only wise, 
The pope would be thought only wise.  & all the world beside to be blind as beetles, & to see, or know nothing. Under which gay pretence of wisdom & knowledge, whatsoever he deereeth must stand for an infallible & an undoubted truth: no man must ask any question of it, but what soever he commandeth be it right or wrong, truth or falsehood, it must be obeyed forthwith upon pain of damnation. And why not? 
Nether the Pope nor his Father the Devil can err.  for whatsoever he speaketh, yea although he but dream it, it is truth forsooth, & so m●st all men take it: for he is the only fellow upon the earth that cannot err, neither in life, nor doctrine, no more than the devil himself.  Phile. 
Every man may count him but an Ass in so deeming of himself, for the holy Ghost teacheth us, that Omnis homo mendax, solus Deus verax, that is: Every man is a liar, and God only is true. Therefore if he be a man (but I rather think him a Devil incarnate) he must needs err: For hominis est errare, labi, & decipi: It is naturally given to every man to err, to fall away, & to be deceived. But notwithstanding they hold (as I hear say) that he is not a plain or naked man as other men be, 
The Pope a deyfied creature and no man.  but a divine creature, deified with the Godhead, and even as it were a God himself, and therefore cannot err. But Peter of whom he so much braggeth, & whose successor he boasteth himself to be, 
Peter denied his Master thrice.  when the Lord had taken his grace from him for a time, denied his master, not once, nor twice, but three times. Christ called him an other time bar Satana the son of the devil, saying come after me sathan, thou savourest not those things which are of GOD, but of men. By all which reasons (with infinite the like which might be alleged, if either time would permit me, or the necessity of the cause required the same) it manifestly appeareth, that the pope not only doth err simply both in life and doctrine, 
The Pope erreth in all things.  but also erreth most grossly, and most shamefully in all things.  Stupe. 
Nay, but he hath provided a cooling card for them that shall so judge of him. For, be his doings, his whole life, & doctrine never so detestable, yet may none be so bold, 
The Pope's cooling card.  as to judge of them. And his reason (or cooling card) is this. Qui omnium viventium judex constitutus est, a nemine est iudicandus, that is, He who is appointed to be the judge of all men, aught to be judged of none. No although he draw infinite millions of men, 
No man may judge of the Pope.  and women to hell, by his wicked example of life, yet may no man judge of him for it. Thus reigneth he upon earth as one, neither fearing God, nor yet reverencing man. And why not? For this is a maxim in his law, 
A maxim i● the Pope's law  Sic volo, sic jubeo, sic mando, est ratio praeclara, voluntas, that is, so I will, so I bid, and so I command, my will is the balance of equity, and the square rule of justice.  Phi. 
If his will stand for law as in truth it doth, then must he neads be of a wonderful power, and might, yea even as a God in comparison of other men, is he not taken so to be?  Stupe. 
Yes truly. And not without great cause, for as they say, he is of such a wonderful power, 
The great power of our Master Pope.  that of wrong he can make right, of falsehood truth, of injustice, justice, of light, darkness, of darkness light, and when his holiness is pleased he can make the swan black, and the crow white. He can also divorce those whom the law of God hath joined together, and again whom the law of God hath divorced, he can join together. He can dispense either with the law of God, or of man, breaking, allowing, or disallowing what pleaseth his humour. Subjects he can discharge from their allegiance to their prince. 
The Pope must have a share in every thing.  He also licenseth, & dispenseth with all kind of the every, robbery, whoredom murder, manslaughter, or else what abomination soever, so that his share may be therein, which you may be sure is not the smallest part.  Phile. 
This follow seemeth rather a monster in nature then a man, that thus dareth pervert all things to serve his own turn.  Stupe. 
If you knew all, you would say so. For he taketh into his hands the whole power, and state of Caesar, & therefore writeth he himself heir apparent to the Empire. 
The Pope heir apparent to the Emperor.  And to this purpose he hath persuaded emperors, kings, & princes that he may & aught so to do iure divino, that is, by force of god's law, which seemeth most monstrous. Wherein if any do resist him, then putteth he them in fear, & threateneth them with his absolute power in heaven, 
The Pope's fray bug.  earth & hell, & with excommunication, & other his flashing thunderbolts of commination. Yea to this pass hath he brought it, that neither Emperor, king, nor Prince is lawfully crowned, which is not crowned by him: 
The Pope crowneth emperors with his feet.  & as though his holy hands were too good to set the crown upon their heads, he crowneth them (for the most part) with his toes, they laying their heads down upon the ground. 
The Pope deposeth kings and Emperors when he ly●t.  He also maketh and putteth down Emperors, kings and princes at his pleasure. So that if any one displease his holiness, he is by and by thrown down as low as hell, deposed from his regal dignity, his crown plucked of his head, and sceptre out of his hands, excommunicate, and an other put in his place. And then if it fortune that this king so deposed do rise in arms to defend his people, his country, and his own right, then raiseth he up other kings, & Princes against him: So that were he otherwise never so mighty of himself, yet shall he not be able to prevail against them all. Upon the other side, if he refer his cause to a general Counsel to be decided there, 
No general counsel can be gathered with out the Pope.  it booteth not. For there is no Council that can be gathered without his consent, and allowance of the same. Neither may they determine, or decree any thing but what shall sound pleasant in his ears. And then the small end of all is, 
The next way for kings to come by their own at the pope's hands.  and the next way for the kings and Princes deposed, to come by their dignities again, to submit themselves, bodies, lands, goods, people, country, life and all into the Pope's hands, to ask forgiveness, and falling down upon their knees, too prostrate themselves, and kiss his feet in hope of grace. This done, then peradventure if he will give money enough he shall be restored to his kingdom again. 
Mark the conscience of this fellow.  But yet if an other will give more than he for it, he goeth without it too, my life for yours. And notwithstanding all this submission, if they please him not well, he will not stick to tread and crample upon them, like dogs. As we read of a certain Emperor, 
The proud Pope stamped upon the neck of a good Emperor like a dog.  whose neck the Pope proudly stamp upon as though he had been, a beast. There was also another pope, who used to makkings & Emperors his blocks to stand upon, when he mounted upon his horse. Some kings must hold his styrrops, 
Kings made footstools to the pope.  other some (on either side one at the least) must lead his horse by the bridle thorough thick and thin. 
King's holding the pope's styrrops.  And thus maketh he all men, both Emperors, kings & princes even all in general subject unto him, in the mean time he himself being subject to none. And yet notwithstanding, there is now, neither emperor, king, nor prince, that dares mute against him, but him they obey as sole lord of heaven & earth. 
None dares mute against the pope.  Whatsoever he commands, they dare not but fulfil. In so much that if he command them to make war against the country, people, or nation, them gather they their troops & legions of armed men together, & forward they go, sacking, spoiling and burning both cities, towns, & countries. And imbruing their hands in the blood of poor innocentes, 
The pope's mercy in shedding of blood.  they slay and kill even all without mercy, man, woman, and child, putting all too the edge of the sword most cruelly too behold. And this they must do. Why? Because the Pope commands them so to do: whose commandment whether it be wrong or right above all things in the World is to be obeyed in every point without exception.  Phil. 
This is an intolerable slavery, and seruilitye, I marvel that ever christian princes will suffer themselves so to be abused, and that of a greasy prelate.  Stupe. 
Nay, he proceedeth further, & as though the former abuses were not sufficient, he maketh the laws, the Courts, 
All courts subject too the pope.  and Offices of kings and princes subject unto him: So that if any man dislike of the laws, & Courts of their Princes, he may frankly, and freely make his appeal to the pope, 
Appeal to the court of Rome  and Court of Rome. By which means he raketh in money not a little every year.  Phile. 
Is it possible that princes will put up this injury at his hands, and not be revenged? I pray you how doth he behave himself towards them, that they rise not up against him, and pull him out of his kingdom by the ears?  Stu. 
He feeds their humours he speaketh pleasant things unto them, 
The pope's profession.  he flattereth & fawneth upon them in such sort as he makes them believe the moon is of green cheese, and so it is indeed, if he say so. But for fear of the worst, and for further safeguard of his person, he entereth into league with all such kings & princes of every country, 
The pope enreth League with kings & princes, and why.  as are of any great force & power, lest (happily) they might endanger his estate, incase they should resist his majesties person. And if it happen that at any time he want money, 
What shift the pope maketh when he lacks money. The pope's beagles do hunt for money.  and knoweth not how to come by any, then sendeth he forth his Ambassadors, his Legates, his suffragans, and his cardinal's into all lands, thorough whose diligent industry he setteth kings and princes together by the ears: and being at bloody wars amongst themselves, then will he be sure to take part with him that is the stronger: be it wrong or right that maketh no matter: for of wrong he can make right. Always provided that in all spoils, 
The pope's share.  prays, bootyes, and escheats, he have the greatest share, for that is the thing that he desires, 
The mark the pope leveleth at.  and the only mark that he shoots at. Thus he feedeth himself with the blood of the poor innocent Lambs, contrary both to the law of God, 
The pope thirsteth for blood  and his own calling, which is to save blood and not to shed innocent blood.  Phile. 
Doth he ever go to field in his own person?  Stupe. 
Yea very often, in this sort. First of all he is clothed in his rich Corselet coat, 
The pope warreth in his own person.  guilt and behanged with all manner of precious stones, in his shirt of mail, and his head piece all glistering in gold, with his hoar goatish beard, hanging down too his gyrdlesteede. And in this warlike manner marcheth he forward with his ●andes of men, 
The pope's march in the field when h● fighteth for joanes best cap.  horses, and charettes, like the sands of the Sea in number. All which being at his beck, when he commandeth, they enclose mighty towns, circumuall huge cities, subvert castles & towers, trench in strong holds, & in fine battering them with great ordinance (for munition want they none) they lay them level with the ground. 
The pope's le●nity and com●passion.  And like merciless Tartarians, they slay man, woman, and child, without respect had either of age, 
The pope a bloodsucker.  sex, time, place, or person. Which noble stratagem achieved, this bloody Villain with all his cut-throats return again to Rome with no small spoils, where is such bonfires, such feasting and banqueting, 
Bonfires at Rome for slaughter of God's saints.  such going of procession, such massing, and mumming for joy of this great victory, (or rather most bloody massacre of God's Saints) as the like hath not been seen of many years before.  Philemon. 
Me think it is altogether against his calling, as I said before, that he being a Priest, should show such cruelty.  Stupe. 
What? Cruelty do you call it? No, it is not cruelty. You may not flaunder our holy father so. Do you not know that of cruelty, 
The pope's metamorphosis.  he can make lenity, and of lenity cruelty, changing any thing into the nature of another at his pleasure? And although he rid them of their lives in this world (which of force they must once leave, if he were not) yet can he send them packing into heaven when he will: and so have they made a good change, have they not? Or if they go to hell, even thither sends he his power down, with charms & solemn ceremonies, which reach even unto the smoky pit itself, 
The pope's power sent into hell.  & unto the burning lake of the same. By means whereof although he can not peremptorily lose the damned souls from their chains, nor free them from their pains, nor although he he not able to break the turning wheels, to kill the dreadful snake, to cool the boiling led, nor to quench the flaming fire, yet can he ease & make lesser their pains by far. And which is more, some writ that, when he will, such is his absolute power) he can bring to pass that the fire of hell cannot burn, 
The pope ca● make the pains of hell to cease.  the wheels turn, the led boil, the snakes not sting, nor the worms gnaw or bite any more. And if the devil anger him much, or it chance too rain a golden shower, he will empty hell in spite of the devils head, and send them with a passport into Heaven, whether God will or not. And why may he not do this? For hath he not the keys of Heaven gates, and may he not open and shut them when he will? Now he that can do these things, may he not play the Rex well enough? And is he not worthy to be made of, 
The pope playeth the Rex.  & accepted amongst men, not as a man, but as a God rather?  Phile 
Yea truly. And as I remember one of his whelps hath thus written of him. 
The pope better than God.  Papa deo maior & praestantior est, & quicquid potest deus, idem & Papa. That is the Pope is greater and better than God & look whatsoever god can do, the same can the pope do. Yea & some of them say, that he can do more than God. For say they, God cannot make God, 
The pope can do that God cannot do.  but the pope can make God when he will, & therefore must he needs be not only a god, but also more than a God. I pray you therefore what authority and power hath he elsewhere more than this?  Stupe. 
Besides his power in heaven, earth, & hell, he hath also power in another place called Purgatory nullibi, 
Purgatory. Nullibi.  or Purgatory pickpurse choose you whether, a place which neither God nor the devil ever knew of, till he of late found it out, & yet for all that cannot he himself tell where it is, nor in what part it is adjacent. But in this place he rules the roast, he is rector chori, the leader of the dance there, and none rules but he alone. In this broiling fire must every soul that departeth this life be cleansed and purified (saith this master liar) before it can enter into the kingdom of heaven seven years space, 
The pope saith every soul must be punished 7. years in purgatory for every sin that ever he committed in thy● life.  for every sin that ever he committed in all his life, whether they be small or great, except they be released by his means. And therefore teacheth he the people to give money to Friars, Monks, 
The Pope's merchandise.  and Priests too say Masses, Diriges, Trentals, Lady Psalters, Hymns, Prayers, Orisons, Exorsizations, and the like for the souls in Purgatory: which as soon as ever they be said, 
So soon as money rings in the boxes, the souls in purgatory feel ease.  the souls feel wonderful great ease thereby: yea of such force are they that so soon as ever the money ringeth in the box, the souls receive comfort. And if money come in freely, he will not stick too grant you forth such a general pardon and indulgence, 
Money will sweep Purgatory clean.  as shall sweep all Purgatory clean. And being once granted forth (they carry such meal in mouth as they say) neither Pluto, 
The pope's bandogs.  Cerberus, Lucifer, Beelzebub, nor the greatest devils in Hell can withstand his power, nor keep back one soul, although they labour never so fast with their crooked claws & crabbed fleshooks to stay the souls there stil. No they dare not mute against him, 
How the devils tremble.  his power maketh them all too tremble like mountains, & to shake like Okes: By this devise of poling purgatory he gaineth more to himself, than the mightiest prince that lieth upon the earth, may dispend in annual revenues yearly. And therefore I cannot blame him though he make much of such a pad, 
Purgatory the pope's sow.  and cherish such a sow that will bring him forth every year such a farrow of pigs as these.  Phile. 
I perceive his power is marvelous great, & far surpassing the power of any earthly wight else. I pray you with what manner of attire and habit is he clothed? For seeing, that he excelleth all men in power, & dignity, it seemeth incident too his majestical estate, that he be richlier clothed than all other men.  Stupe, 
In sumptuous robes, and rich attire, there may no earthly creature compare with him. For when he is disposed to be seen abroad, he is clad all over from top to too, (as they say) in purple colour, 
The pope's attire.  in silks, velvets, satins, damasks, and withal, in cloth of gold, silver, and tinsel, beset about with all kind of precious Stones from India, and from all the coasts of the world. Than upon his head hath he a Triple crown all of perfect gold, 
A triple crown  hanged with Diadems, Carbuncles, Smaradges, sapphires, Pearls, and all kind of precious Stones glistering like the Sun. 
The pope's crosier.  His crosier then & double cross of gold is carried solemnly before him, he bring guarded behind and before with swarms of Cardinals, 
The pope's guard.  Monks, Friars, Priests, and an infinite number of harnished men marching in battle array: besides these things, they have their strange gestures, 
The strange gestures of the papists.  aswell with hand and foot, as with head and shoulders, & all parts of their body, which to see & mark would make a man to laugh that hath but one laughter in his belly. 
All things the pope cometh near are holy.  And in such veneration is this holy father had, that the ground whereupon he standeth or goeth, is taken to be holy ground, all things that he handleth or cometh near, yea if he but took upon it with his holy eyes, it is strait way holy.  
In this order marcheth this holy satanist towards the Temple or Church carried a wonderful height upon men's shoulders, 
The pope carried on men's shoulders.  even as the sacred Ark of Aaron was, wherein the hiden Manna lay. Compare now all things which this great Antichrist the Pope doth, with the doings and actions of our Saviour Christ, and thou shalt see no analogy, resemblance, or agreement betwixt them, but rather a plain Antithesis, and contrariety. 
The great difference betwixt Christ and the Pope.  Christ jesus when he was upon the earth, lived in poverty, and mean estate. The pope liveth in wealth, and abundance of all things. Christ jesus had neither silver nor gold, and therefore when he should pay tribute was forced to fly to a miracle to get a penny, The Pope hath Millions of gold, and mountains of silver by him. Christ jesus commanded his Apostles that they should not carry money in their purses, nor two coats for their backs: and that they should preach the word freely. 
The pope will none of that.  The Pope commandeth the clean contrary, insomuch that it is grown into a Proverb, No Penny, no Pater noster. Christ jesus went on foot long and tedious journeys, 
If the Pope should go on foot, it would hurt him, for he is so fat, that it would fry and melt his grease within him.  so that he being weary was forced to rest him at the well of jacob, about the sixth hour of the day, that is twelve of the clock after the Computation of the jews. The Pope he is carried on men's shoulders too too goodly, and rideth in sumptuous Wagons, Charets, Quoches, Horselitters and the like, being all either of pure gold or silver, or else of some other costly thing, behanged with precious stones, cloth of gold, velvet, silk, damask, Satin, and what not else seemly to behold. Christ jesus was glad to wear a crown of thorns upon his head, 
But the Pope means not to change his crown of gold for Christ's crown of thorns.  pricking him to the brain pan. The Pope weareth a triple crown all of gold, and precious stones, betokening his threefold power in heaven, earth, and hell, wherein we think the Pope is much deceived. For as he hath power in heaven, in earth, in hell, and in Purgatory, 
The Pope ought to wear a quadruple crown.  so he should wear a quadruple crown, too signify his absolute power in them all. And therefore would I wish some of his Bastards to tell his holiness of his great oversight, and to amend it in time. And thus too conclude, thou seest by these few comparisons betwixt Christ and the Pope, what agreement there is between them, as much as is betwixt light, and darkness, truth and falsehood, heat, and cold, God, & the Devil, heaven, and hell. And therefore mayest thou know that he is that great Antichrist that was forespoken of, should come towards the end of the world, 
The pope proved antichrist.  whom the Lord shall destroy with the glory of his coming.  Phile. 
It is greatly to be wondered at, how he cometh by money to maintain this great cost, and stately port withal?  Stupe. 
Never wonder at that: for neither emperor, king, nor prince hath such store of Gold in their chests, as he hath. For besides his own inheritance which is both far & broad, he hath from all the parts in Christendom (almost) taxes, tallages, 
The pope's exactions too maintain his pride.  contributions, tenths, tithes, Peter pence (as he calleth them) & other grievous impositions not a few, all which by most intolerable exaction he usurpeth: he hath also belonging to his pretenced patrimony, both cities, towns, countries & nations, castles & towers, besides havens, ports, sinques, & creeks, whereby he gaineth yearly 1000 talents & more to his coffers, Beyond all this, he gaineth as much or more, by granting pardons, & indulgences, by pardoning & remitting sin, 
Pardons & indulgences.  by giving forth dispensations, qualifications, tot quots, pluralities, non residentaries, anuates, & like devices infinite. Besides this, by his pelting palles, 
The gain that comes in too the pope by pelting palles.  he may drink 100000. li. a year. And what he gaineth by selling, by chopping & changing of bishoprics, abbeys, nunneries, 
The pope's chaffer.  priories, prebends, personages, vicarages, and the like, let the world judge, is it any wonder now, how he cometh by money enough too support his estate withal, having so many ways to gain by? Insomuch that Pope john 22. after his discese left 25. millions, 
The treasure of Rome infinite.  or 25. times a thousand thousand of crowns in ready money behind him, besides what he spent upon whores, 
That was not the least part I warrant you.  bawds, and knaves, in pride, riot, gluttony, and excess during his life.  
In the time of Pope Martin 5. there was brought too Rome 9 Millions of gold at one time out of France, which is 9 times a thousand thousand crowns, 
Oh extreme polling.  for Benefices, and other Ecclesiastical promotions, whereat the Archbishop of Madenbourgh admiring said, judicet timoraius, quae verago haec: 
Rome a devouring gulf.  that is, Let a wise man judge, what a devouring gulf the City of Rome is. All things as I told you before are sold for money at Rome, and therefore john Picus writeth thus, 
All things sold at Rome for money.  Vendit Alexander, cruces altaria Christum, vendere iure potest, emerat ille prius: that is, Alxander the pope selleth crosses, altars, yea, and Christ himself also, and why not? For, saith he, he bought all before with his money? Whereto agreeth Baptista Mantuanus, a Monk writing thus: Venalia nobis templa, Sacerdotes, altaria, sacra, coronae: ignis, thura, praeces coelum est venale, Deusque. That is, At Rome Churches, priests, altars, sacrifices, crowns, fire, frankincense, prayers, heaven, and God himself is is to be sold for money. And therefore he concludeth thus and saith, 
The wickedness & corruption of Rome described.  Vivire qui sanctè cupitis, discedite Roma, omnia cum liceant, non licet esse pium: that is, All that desire to live in the fear of God get you from Rome: for whereas all other things are lawful there, yet is it not lawful too be good there.  Phile. 
I marveled not so much before, how he came by money sufficient to maintain his estate withal, 
A thing to b● marveled at  but now I marvel a thousand times more how he spendeth so much as cometh in yearly into his treasury?  Stupe. 
He hath ways enough to spend it I warrant you, and if it were x. times as much. For rather than to fail he will spend you a hundredth thousand crowns in a year, upon whores, bawds and harlots, upon strumpets, brothels, & vile filthy Sodomites. 
He will spend a hundred thousand crowns in a year upon whores and harlots, etc.  He will spend you as much, nay ten times as m●ch, in riot, gluttony, drunkenness, gourmandize, and all kind of excess. And what he spends in pride, in erecting of gorgeous houses, in building of abbeys, Priories Hospitals, 
How the pope spendeth his money.  Seminaries, Monasteries, Churches, castles, and towers (wherein he will be sure to place his dear friends kinsmen, and familiars) it is infinite and unmeasurable. Thus briefly hast thou heard what the Pope is, and how Luciferlike he liveth: now judge thou whether he be the same that he would be thought to be, and not rather Antichrist himself. And therefore I cannot but marvel greatly at the blindness of the world, 
The pope unholy.  who either effectionate him so much, or yet think him to be holy, whereas of himself you see, he is nothing less. But belike he taketh his holiness of the place and Sea of Rome which if it were true that the place could make an unholy man, 
The place cannot make a man good, which before is nought.  holy, or a naughty man good, then should it follow that all that have been at Rome, should be as holy as the Pope, which were blasphemy to say. 
The Devil holier than the pope.  And then why should not the Devil be holy, yea and holier than the Pope, for that he was in a holier place than Rome is: namely, the kingdom of heaven. And thus much concerning the pontifical person, state, and dignity of the Pope, the great antichrist of the world. Now to speak a word or two of Cardinals the chiefest pillars of this antichristian usurped kingdom.  

Of Cardinals the pillars of the Pope's kingdom, their original, offices, Pride, and corruption.  Philemon. 
I Pray you (brother Stuperius) what are the Cardinals, whom you call the pillars, and supports of this popish antichristian kingdom?  Stupe. 
They are such as for the most part, are descended of noble blood, of honourable Parentage, 
Cardinals what they are  and of ancient houses, intruded into this office of Cardinalship, by money, Simony, and friendship, altogether unlearned, especially in the law of GOD. These Cardinals have joint power with him, in some measure, to govern his kingdom withal: but the whole power is denied them, as a thing which resteth in the pope alone, as head & prince over all the rest.  Phile. 
Whereof do they take their names too be called Cardinals?  Stupe. 
They take their names of this latin word Cardo (as some think) that is, 
whereof Cardinals take ●heir names.  a hook, a hinge, or staple, whereupon a door or a gate doth hang. Too this end (no doubt) that they may be thought and taken to be the very hinges hooks, staples and charmels, whereupon the whole frame, and building of the Church doth hang and depend. And even as no door nor gate can hang without a staple or hook, or hinge too rest upon, so no Church can stand without it be underpropped with the staff of their stay. And so holy a society and brotherhood is this viperous generation of Cardinals, 
The holy society of cardinals.  that even the Pope himself is hatches of them, 
The pope chosen by cardinals.  and chosen by them in conclaves, and secret places. And thus they delude the world with their pretenced shows of feigned holiness.  Phile. 
When they are created Cardinals by the pope, what oath, & charge do they undertake, & promise to their idol God the pope?  Stupe. 
First of all, they swear to be faithful, 
The oaths tha● the cardinals take when they are admitted.  true, and loyal to the pope's person: secondly, they promise to maintain and uphold his kingdom, power, and dignity, and to enlarge S. Peter's patrimony, as much as lieth in their power. Thirdly, to see that all his law●s s●●ctions, statutes, orders, constitutions & ceremonies, be duly kept, and observed in every point. Fourthly, that they neither do cause, nor consent to be done any manner of injury, violence, or oppression to the Pope's person, nor too conceal i● by whomsoever it be intended. And fifthly, 
Oh cursed oath  that they fight and contend against Christ jesus and his holy word, to the maintenance of popery, & extirpation of christianity. These Cardinals thus sworn, & alleageanced to his holiness do in such diligence execute their charge, that they will rather be torn in pieces with wild horses, 
The constanc● of these cardinals to their dad the pope.  than to fail in the least point. And for the great credit that he hath in them, oftentimes he sendeth them Ambassadors & Legates, to emperors kings, and princes, by whose means he easily undermineth the state of every country, 
The Pope ma●eth whole kingdoms & country's ●ys pray thorough cardinals ●ood help.  knoweth all the secrets thereof, and in the end as a greedy puttock maketh the same a pray for his own paunch. By them he exciteth kings and princes too wars, by them he whetteth them against the sincere Professors of the Gospel, but as he calleth them against heretics. Finally by them he worketh all mischief in general.  Phile. 
In what manner be they received, when they come as ambassadors, and Legates too kings, and princes?  Stupe. 
Like Gods almost, for going forth, they send before them their messengers in post, 
The manner of ●eceiuyng of cardinal's being ●ent as ambassadors into a●y land or country.  too signify to the king, or prince of their coming, to this end that preparation may be made for them according to their calling. Then, when as they come within the territories of the Land or Country whither they go: noble men are sense 〈…〉 them with great pump, and someways the prince himself is glad to t●●dge towards them, 
The concourse of people running to meet cardinals.  or else they will look 〈◊〉 on him. And as for the great company of Friars, Monks, Abbots, Priors, Covents, Priests, Clarks, Schoolmasters and the like, they go not, but run, thick & threefold, all clad in white surplice, with crosses either of gold or silver carried before them. The common people also of every sex and age, are not behind, who coming before their great dads Legate, down they fall upon their knees, with capping & crouching, bowing and becking, wonderful to behold. And to the end that this pageant may have all his perfect members, and right limnies, they are commanded to cry out, jesus save your grace (our holy father the cardinal) holy S. Marry, 
The people's cry to the cardinals grace.  & all the holy saints of god, preserve your highness, and send you long life. Then goeth he marching forward guarded with whole armies of men & horses. And all the way as they go, the mad people kneeling down before him, desire their holy father's blessing. 
The manner of the the Cardinal's blessing.  Then falleth he to blessing, & crossing either with the two foremost fingers of his right hand, or else with all the whole hand, much like the foolish gander that blesseth his goslings with his bill.  Phile. 
These fellows are lusty bruits in deed, and carry a stately port, marry sir, tell me what do they else?  Stupe. 
Their port passeth any king's port for seldom or never do they ride without two or three thousand men with them, 
The stately ●ort of cardinal's.  besides noblemen, gentlemen, and others, with such a sort of horses, mules, camels, asses, (yea asses the most of them) Wagons, Chariots, Quoches, horslitters, 
Cardinal's beg ●●rly attire.  carts & other carriages, as is wonderful to see. And as for their apparel, it is for the most part of crimson silk, velvet, satin, damask, grogram, & the like. Upon their heads they wear great broad hats of purple colour. But if you will have a plainer description of Cardinals, and what a port they carry, mark this example following of Cardinal Wolsey sometime Cardinal in England, 
Cardinal Wol●●y his example ●t wonderful ●ride.  & by him, mayest thou learn what all the rest are: first, he had in his hall continually 3. boards, or tables, kept with three several officers, that is a shewarde which was always a priest, a treasurer being a knight, & a controller an esquire. His cofferer also being a Doctor, 3. marshals: three yeomen Ushers in the hall, besides two grooms, and almners. Then in the hall kitchen, two clerk of the Kitchen, 
Mark this gear well.  a Clerk controller, a Surveyor of the the dresser, a clerk of the spicery. Also in his hall kitchen, he had of ma●ster Cooks two, and of other inferior cooks, scullions, and labourers twelve persons, four yeomen of the scullery, four other yeomen of the silver scullery, 
Oh famous cardinal.  two yeomen of the pastry, with two other pastelers under the yeomen. Then in his privy Kitchen a master Cook, who went daily in Velvet or in satin with a great chain of gold, and two other yeomen, and a groom. In the scalding house a yeoman, 
Oh excelling pride.  and 2. grooms. In the Pantrey two persons. In the buttery two yeomen, 2 grooms, and two ●●ges. In the yeomanry likewise. In the seller three yeomen, and 3. pages. In his chaundry 2. In the wafary two. In the wardrobe of beds, the master of the wardrobe and ten other persons. In the Laundrye a yeoman, a groom, thirty pages, two yeomen purveyors and one groom. In the bake house, a yeomen and two grooms. In the woodyard a yeoman, 
Oh surpassing vanity.  & a groom. In the barn one: in the garden a yeoman & two grooms. Porters at the gate, 2. yeomen & 2, grooms a yeoman of his barge, and a master of his horse, a clerk of his stable, 
Here were more offices than a few.  a yeoman of the same. The Saddler: the farrior: a yeoman of his chariot: a sumpter man: a yeoman of his styrroppe, a mu●●ter. Sixteen grooms of his stable, every of whom kept 4. Geldings. In the almory a yeoman, and a groom. In his chapel he had a Dean a great divine, 
The pomp of the Cardinal's Chapel.  a Subdeane, a Repeater of the choir: a gospeler, a Pistler. Of singing priests ten. A master of the children. Seculars of the chapel: singing men twelve, singing children ten, with a servant to wait upon them. In the revestry a yeoman, & two grooms besides divers retainers that came thither at principal feasts. For the furniture of his chapel it passeth man's reason to declare with the number of jewels, vessels & ornaments, which daily were used there. There hath been seen at one procession in his hall forty four rich copes of one suit wor●, besides rich Crosses, candlesticks, vasons, Ewers, censors, and the like infinite. 
Copes 44. in the cardinals hall at one time.  He had 2. Crossebrarers, and two pillar bearers, in his great chamber: And in his privy chamber, first the chief chamberlain, & vizechamberlain. Of gentlemen ushers (besides one in his privy chamber) he had 12. daily waiters: & of gentlemen waiters in his privy chamber, he had six, and of Lords niene or ten, who had each of them 2. men aperte allowed them to wait upon them, 
Oh pontifical Prelate.  except the earl of Derby who had 5. men allowed him: Thē●ad he of Gentlemen, of Cupbearers, Carvers and sewers, both of the privy Chamber, and great chamber. With Gentlemen daily waiters there forty persons: Of yeomen Ushers 6. of grooms in his chamber 8. of yeomen in his chamber forty five daily. 
Here is good stuff mark it who will.  There was attending on his boord● of Doctoures, and chaplains sixe●eene besides them of his chapel: a clerk of his closet: 
Attendants upon the cardinals person.  2. secretaries, & 2. clerks of his signer, & four Counsellors learned in the Law, he had divers Officers of the Chancery also waiting upon him, that is to say, the clerk of the crown: a riding clerk, a clerk of the hamper: and a chaffer of the ware, than a clerk of the check: he had also four footmen garnished in rich running coats: 
Oh Lucifer-like pride, who ever saw the like.  when he road in any journey, he had an herald of arms, and a Sergeant of arms: a Physician: an Apothicary: four minstrels, a keeper of his ten●es: an armourer, an instructor of his wa●des, two pe●●en of the wardrobe of his robes: and a keeper of his chamber continually in the court. He had also the Surveyor of York and a Clerk of the green● cloth in his house. All these with others mo● were up rising, 
By S. Cronian he feasts a pretty ordinary▪ then.  and down lying▪ at bed, and a●boorde in his house. Besides this, every Gentleman. Officer; or worthy person, had one dr●wn, or more allowed them to attend upon them, which grew to a wonderful company. Thus hast thou ●●arde the stately port▪ and lusty countenance, that these Cardinals do bear. And look what a one thou seest this Cardinal Wolsey, too have been, even such are all the rest of the Cardinals at this day. judge thou now whether they pass not any, 
This passeth the beggerlyenesse of poor Christ and his Apostles.  either king, prince or Emperor in all kind of excess whatsoever: and whether there be any thing in them, worthy of commendation, or savouring of Christ jesus, or his Apostles. And thus much briefly concerning Cardinals and their pride.   

Of popish Bishops their office, superstition and pride.  Philemon. 
WHat manner of Bishops hath the Pope, for I am sure they are not the least pillars of this his whorish and Adulterous Church?  Stupe. 
Such as his Cardinals are, such are his Bishops, 
The manner of the Pope's Bishops.  saving that they carry not such a great port, and stately sway as the other do: else they are like them in all kind of wickedness. first of all, they take upon them names, and titles proper to kings, princes & Lords. They be stout, 
The proud humours of the Bishops of Rome.  proud and disdainful, looking not only for cap and knee of every man, but even for kneeling and crouching down to the ground. They have great bishoprics worth by estimation two or three thousand pounds by year, whereto belong both castles & towers, wy●h cities, countries, and towns. They have also the rule & government of Abbeys, granges, nunneries, priories, personages, vicarages, & all other kind of Ecclesiastical benefices & spiritual promotions whereof they feed themselves (for change of pasture is good for them) with the daintiest morsels. 
The fat morsels of Romish Bishops.  Being thus furnished with abundance of all things, commonly they lie in some strong castle, sytuat in a solitary place, where they preach as strawberries use to grow, 
Where the romish bishops lie.  that is once a year, nay happily not once in 7. years. And to say truth, as they say, it needeth not, 
Blynking Sir john's,  for they have their blincking Sir johns, their begging Friars, Monks, & cloisterers that do it for them. These blind buzzards, 
friars etc. the pope's spaniels.  and Assye peisants being sent forth by their Bishops, set abroach with all their might, the pope's decrees, ceremonies, & orders: in the mean time not forgetting to declaim against heretics, that is against such as put their confidence and trust in Christ jesus alone, & his sacred truth. 
The papists take ● great heed lest they preach any truth.  But above all things, they take great care lest any of them might at unawares preach any truth out of the word of God, for that were Heresy to God, and treason to the Pope's person. For if they should preach the truth (being sworn to maintain the pope against Christ jesus, 
Oh damnable oath.  & his word) then might they be attainted of perjury, and beside accused of heresy. Thus neither Bishop, nor prelate sworn to the pope, 
None of the papists dare preach Christ jesus aright.  dares preach Christ jesus aright: for that were too destroy their proud Antichristian kingdom, which consisteth only of lies, falsehood, murder, treason, usurpation, & rebellion. Insomuch that a good bishop of Coleyne seeing what wickedness under the vizard and pretence of of godliness was daily committed: 
The example of the bishop of Coleyn, who rather forsook his Bishopric than to dishonour Christ jesus, as the papists did.  begun to discover & lay open their impieties, blasphemies & treacheries: but he was resisted of all, every barking friar whetted his pen against him, & like serpentine vipers stung him even to the death. Well, report hereof coming to Rome, the pope assembled a council, & cited this good old father to appear before him. Who seeing their wicked intentions against him, gave over his bishopric, rather choosing without it, to preach Christ jesus truly, then with it to dishonour him every way, as they did. These blockheaded popish bishops, as blind as blind bayards, 
The Papists say preaching is not necessary.  think, yea and shame not say that preaching is not necessary, and that the people do learn more by their dumb ceremonies, imageries, and other bableries, than they do by hearing the word of God preached. And indeed I think no less, for whereas by the word of God preached they learn the way to salvation, 
By hearing the word of God preached men learn the pathway too heaven, by papistry the path way to hell.  and life eternal, by imageries and other popish ceremonies, they learn the pathway to hell, and everlasting damnation. And therefore they learn more by the one, than by the other. But more what? more wickedness and sin. But notwithstanding their seldom preaching, yet when they do preach, it shallbe commonly upon some popish holiday, or festival day of their own invention, which is always of greater estimation amongst them, than the Lords day, to wit, the Sabbath day is. In this their Pope holy day, what idolatry is committed, what superstition is practised, and what gross blasphemies, 
Idolatry committed upon popish holidays.  & filthy absurdities are permitted, and exercised of them, it is almost unspeakable. Then, even then, is there such censing, and singing, such masking and ringing, such chanting, and roaring, in the quyre, with Orgayns playing, and music sounding, that thou wouldst rather think it a Satirical stage play of fools consecrated to the Devil, than a sober service of wisemen instituted to G●d.  Phile 
How be the bishops attired in these solemn holy days, & how do they behave themselves amongst the rest in this goodly stately Pageant of theirs?  Stupe. 
The Bishops are attired with 14. sundry forts of garments upon their backs at once, 
The ridiculous attire of Popish bishops upon holidays.  without the which, they cannot sacrifice, nor (mask) I should say mass well. And some have fifteen several kinds of garments, besides their pall, which maketh sixteen. First of all, he puts on his sandals eythes of silk or velvet, his amias & his albe as white as snow, hanging down to his shoe. About his loins he girdeth himself with a girdle of silk. About his neck is there a stole, wrought for the greatest part of very good silk: 
This is dogin.  which having a cross overlaid upon it, is ou●vnderneath his girdle, & so buckled to him. Then he putteth on his tunicle of purple colour, and▪ over that, his Dalmatic, a short sleeved garment: next ●e pulls on his sweet gloves upon his delicate hands, 
That is pat.  his fingers being thwack with rings, precious stones. The over all these, he puts ●n his cope, with crosses thereon both behind and before: he hath also his brave wrought napkins & handkerchiefs, bedecked with gold & silver round about. Then hath he his pall of a wonderful price, 
That is worth the wearing then  compassing in his porkishe neck. His hood with a strange devised knot, hangeth behind his neck in the midst of his back. Next after this comes in his forked mitre, with 2. labels (I had almost said babels) hanging down beset round about with gold, silver & precious stones. Last of all, he takes his crosiare staff in his hand, bedeck with gold, silver, and castly jewels. And in this playerly manner doth this hystrionical bishop play his part amongst the rest, 
The popish bishops like so players.  making the temple of the Lord a stage or theatre, themselves players, and the people stark fools in beholding their fooleries.  Phil. 
What doth the bishop, when he is thus appareled?  Stupe. 
He marcheth towards the altar as fast as he can trudge: which is but very softly, for the burden of clothes, not only almost weigh him to the ground but also well-near take away his breath. And being come to the high (halter) altar I should say, mark his strange ●●stures, & thou wilt wonder. For first of all, (besides the shuffling of priests, and clerks, 
The bishops gestures at the high altar.  to & fro like swarms of bees) the his●●● as●ing up the which of his eyes towards heaven▪ as though he would sain● strait way, mumbleth to himself, certain charms or exorcisnies (I think) which neither he nor any of the rest▪ understand. 
The bishop conjures.  This done, he putteth off his mitre from his head, where one is 〈◊〉 at hand to receive it, to keep it, and to put it on and off, as occasion shall serve. 
Variety is pleasant.  One while he stands, another while he sits, sometime he trippeth, on this side of the Altar, sometimes upon that. Now he kisseth the Altar here, 
Instead of his leman.  now there, now the Chalice, now the Pax, now the Book, now one thing, than an other. Then having fisked in this sort about the altar enough, at the last he comes to the midst or Centre of the same, and there he maketh an end of his play. Sometime he standeth hanging down the head, 
The bishop in a brown study  as though he were in a brown study, mumbling to himself no man knoweth what.  
Sometime he joineth both his hands together upon the Altar, 
The lifting up of the bishops' hands.  sometime he lifteth them up towards heaven, sometime he spreaddeth them towards the North, sometime towards the South, sometime towards the east, & sometime towards the west. One while he pattereth & blesseth, an other while he crosseth and censeth, fearing belike lest any saucy spirit, should come near to deface his doings. Upon the otherside his ministers are ready to lay cushions of silk, 
For flesh upon his back he hath none and therefore hath need of cushyons.  or cloth of gold under his elbows to lean upon, under his buttoc as to sit upon, & under his feet too stand upon. After these things thus set in order, the bishop calleth for frankincense, censors, sweet odours, candles, crosses, banners, & the like trumpery, which being brought, then falleth he to kissing & smearing the altar, & altar stone, as a sovereign thing. Besides one standeth behind the bishop to see the nothing be wanting, holding up the patin enclosed in silk. Thus all things ended, the bishop eateth, and drinketh up all himself, not giving any part to any present. Which done the Satire or Pageant, is perfected and ended. 
The papists delude the world with gewgaws.  Now seest thou with what gewgaws, these beetle headed papists, do delude the world, and dazzle the eyes of the simple.  
Besides this, there are some of these bishops, that will not blush too have a sword carried before them, and placed upon the holy Altar, 
A sword carried before popish bishops to the high altar, and why.  too the end that men may know their magnyficall power, and so both fear, and reverence them the more. Thus they will be both kings, and priests themselves alone, whether God will or not. Othersome there are, that will not take this pains upon them, but covet rather too be conversant in Kings Courts, hoping thereby to attain too greater promotion, 
bishops conversant in kings courts.  then by poring upon a book, and preaching of Christ jesus. Where, by that time, that they have been a while, they feed humours so excellently, & are so skilful in the eight liberal science (to wit, the noble art of flattery, and assentation) that in short space, they are admitted to be of the privy council, 
Popish bishops skilful in the art of flattery.  without whose knowledge, consent, & agreement, nothing can be set forth, or established. In parliaments they give their Counsels, and rule all the rout, even at their pleasures. 
bishops victuallers of camp●.  Some others again are victuallers of camps, and captains in the wars now and then. These Popish bishops also are justices of peace, justices of Quorum, of heir determiner, and assizes, yea and judges of life and death, for the most part. All which callings as they be contrary to the word of GOD▪ in them, so do they withdraw them from the discharge of their duties otherwise.  Philemon. 
That is very true, it must needs be so, for if there were never any, that could discharge the one office sufficiently, much less shall there ever be any found able too discharge them both. But I pray you what officers hath every Archbishop under him?  Stuperius. 
Every Archbishop amongst the Papists hath almost as many officers under him as you heard before, the cardinal had, and therefore I will speak but of one of them, which is a bishop, 
A bishop suffragan.  but called by the name of a Suffragan.   

Of suffragans amongst the papists, their horrible blasphemy, pride, and superstition.  Philemon. 
Hath every bishop a Suffragan under him?  Stupe. 
Oh: no. None but Archbyshops, and metropolitanes only. For if every inferior bishop should have another bishop under him, that were a great inconvenience, and would burden the church of God too much.  Phile. 
Whereof do they take the names of suffragans.  Stupe. 
Truly I could never learn from whence they take them, nor I think Apollo himself neither.  Phile. 
What is the office of this suffragan bishop, and what doth he in his office?  Stu. 
He bishoppeth & confirmeth children halloweth altars, 
The office of suffragans in the church of Rome.  churches, churchyards & the like, he crosseth & blesseth the people, he provideth greasy priests in every parish, he halloweth water in the font, stones, fire, palms, ashes, and many other things: he christneth bells & giveth them proper names with great solemnity. Many other toys & knacks belong to this suffragans office, which for tediousness I omit. Only a few of his foolish ceremonies, will I show which he useth in hallowing of churches & chapels, christening of bells, and giving of orders.  Phile. 
I pray you do so, for they are things which I greatly desire too know.   

The manner of hallowing of Churches, and churchyards, as it is now used amongst the papists.  Stuperius. 
FIrst of all, the sexton lurketh secretly in some corner of the church, 
The order of the Papists hallowing of churches & church yards.  all others being thrust forth, & the church doors fast closed, then are there twelve tapers set burning before the Altar, and as many before the cross without. The Bishop or Suffragan all this while standeth without the Church with a wonderful great pomp and pride, having holy water hallowed with salt enough standing by him. And taking the holy water, 
Holy water always one.  he goeth three times about the Church, casting thereof upon the walls of the Church as he goeth. Than having gone thrice about the Church in this order, he cometh to the Church-door, and knocking three times on the door with his staff, saith, these words of the Psalm, 
Oh, blasphemous villainy so to abuse the words of the psalm to such a lewd purpose as this.  Lift up your gates, etc. as though a whole legion of devils were within the Church. Then cometh me Master clerk, and in the name of all the Devils, he saith, what king is he that thus dareth knocks at these gates: 
Marry it is a proud prelate, whom all the devils in hell cannot resist.  And strait way as though the Devils gave place, the Clerk openeth the doors, and the bishop entereth with a few others, who are thought worthy to behold such mysteries. Being then come into the Church, first of all he calleth upon Saints, and Images, crosseth, and blesseth every thing that he seethe or cometh near. The Church floor also being strewed over with ashes, or else with sand, ●●e first maketh crosses thereon, than letters in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, whereof he nothing understandeth what they mean, no more than the man in the Moon. 
Holy water purifieth & sanctifieth all things  Then falleth he to conjuring of new holy water (for now the old hath lost his force) with wine, Salt, and Ashes intermixed. This done, he proceedeth too hallow the Altar, and having first made twelve crosses thereon, 
The manner of hallowing the Altar.  he anointeth it with oil, and chrism round about: after this having set upon every corner of the Altar, a great many of crosses, he besprynckleth it all over with his new made holy water, never ceasing but jetting about it 7. times, and as many times sprinkling it with holy water as before. In the midst of the Altar is a four square hole, hewed out by great art, representing the Sepulchre, this he annoyteth with chrism, 
He crosseth the altar so often to fear away devils.  and oil, with a thousand crosses on every side. In this Sepulchre, he layeth his relics, his Frankincense, and his gear.  
Thus all things done in order, and anointed with Oil, and Chrism, be-sprynkled with holy water, and crossed on every side, 
The play is ended.  he endeth his Pageant and departeth. And thus much concerning the hallowing of Churches, and churchyards.  Phil. 
This is a wonderful interlude indeed, the sight of this would make a Dog too cast his gorge. I pray you what Ceremonies useth this Suffragan in giving of orders?   

The Manner of popish orders giving and what Ceremonies are observed in the same.  Stuperius. 
FIrst of all, the Suffragan Bishop being come in place, clothed in his pontificalibus, 
The manner of giving of popish orders.  every one that is too be made Priest, is called particularly by name, who standing all upon a cluster, or heap together, clad in their long albes: the bishop asketh whether they be good and virtuous men, and of sufficiency able to take upon them that high calling. The officer (greased in the fist before) answereth that they are learned, able, & sufficient men, and yet he never knew them in all his life, nor yet so much as ever saw, 
Because they are bnzzardes, & cannot see.  or heard of them before. Then is there a candle, & a candlestick brought from the high Altar to the Acolouth, with instruction given them that their office is continually to light candles in the Church, and to bear them about. This done, than is there an empty cup brought, and put into their hands with lessons given to them, that their office is too give wine too the Priest at his mass, which they do not, & yet is their crown shorn for it, 
These crown● shorn make 〈◊〉 many a man to wear a horn.  neither it is lawful for them ever after to wear hair there any more. After this master conjuror the Bishop receiveth the book●, and delivereth it to the new Priests, commanding them to learn it by heart: 
Let them learn to read it first good my lord, before they learn it by heart.  & by power and verity thereof to cast out Devils. Than is the book carried again to the high altar's, the Priest never reading one word of it, being delivered him clasped, and yet is he commanded to get it by heart, and to cast out Devils with the same. Then is delivered him the testament, 
The testament is given him, but to preach truly thereout is forbidden him.  in token that he ought to preach the same truly too the people: which thing neither he their great grandsire the Pope, nor any of them all do perform.  
Next after this, there are delivered unto them, the keys of the Church doors together with ropes of Hemp, 
If they must keep out dogs out of the church than must they shut forth themselves  in token that their office is too shut fast the doors, too drive out the Dogs out of the Church, and to keep the Church, and all the holy Relics fair & clean. Then is there oil brought▪ wherewith every Priest hath his head, 
Priests anointed.  his fingers, and thumbs oiled and greased. In the doing whereof is great heed taken, lest any of the oil should chance to drop ●owne upon the ground, for that were a heinous offence. And therefore the Suffragan Bishop, and the Priests they spounge, they wiped, they rub, and dry their fingers, 
Oh greasy hypocrites who strain at a gnat, & swallow down a camel.  their head & all wonderful to behold. And for fear of the worst, they scour their fingers & head with ashes, or sand, to the end that all the holy oil may be dried up and none spilled. For further security whereof, because they will be sure that 〈◊〉 shall be spilled, they send for hot bread from the o●en, 
Hoa●e bread ●ent to dry up the oil.  which being carried to the bolye Altar 〈…〉 they apply it too their heads and fingers, that they may be sure the 〈◊〉 of their farred oil is 〈◊〉▪ Which 〈◊〉, the Bishop and Priests depart, and so endeth the play.  Phile. 
What is the order observed in Christening of Bells, and what ceremonies doth he use therein?   

The order and manner of christening of Bells, with the ridiculous ceremonies used there in by the papists.  Stuperius. 
WHen the● 〈◊〉 disposed to christian any Bell first of all there in warning thereof given in the church, 
The order and manner of christening of bel● amongst the papists.  & good while before & the day appointed which day being come▪ the people ●●ock thick and threefold to see this comedy played. The godfathers & godmothers also being warned before by the churchwardens are present in all the best apparel that they have. Besides whom you shall have 2. or 3. 〈◊〉 present every one striving & contending who shall be godfathers, 
They strive who shall offend god most.  & godmothers to the bell supposing it a wondered preferment, a marvelous promotion, & singular credit so to be.  
Thus all things made ready, the bishop in all his masking gear cometh forth like a conjuring juggler, and having made holy water with salt, and other sibbersause, he sprinkleth all things with the same, as a thing of an unspeakable force. And although it be at noon days, 
His tapers why not, to light him to the devil.  yet must he have his tapers burning round about on every side: & then kneeling down he very solemnly desireth the people to pray, that God would vouchsafe to grant to this Bell a blessed and happy Christendom: and withal a lusty sound to drive away devils, and 〈…〉 against all kind of peril and ●●●●pe●s whatsoever. 
The only will make the gentleman bell too look with a cheerful countenance.  This prayer ended, the Bishop ●●m●yuteth the bell in 〈…〉 pla●s with oil, and chrism, mumbling 〈◊〉 himself certain conjurations & exorcisms, which no man heareth but he alone, and yet do all men understand i● as well as he. Then commandeth he the godfathers, & godmothers too give the name to the Bell which being given, he poureth on water three or four several times, anointing it with oil and chrism as before, for what cause I know not, except it be either to make his belly soluble, 
Why oil is given to the bell.  his joints nimble, or his colour fair. This done he putteth on the Bell a white linen chrisom, commanding the godfathers and godmothers thereof, too pull it up from the ground by ropes, 
It were fits the ropes served to hang you all in, than to pluck up the bell withal.  and engines made for that purpose. Then fall they down before this new christened bell, all prostrate upon their knees, and offer up to this idol gifts, gold, silver, frankincense, myrrh, and many other things, every one striving who shall give most. These Sacrifices, and offerings too the Devil ended, the Bell is hanged up in the steeple, with great applause of the people, every one rejoicing that the bell hath received such a happy christendom. For joy whereof they celebrate a feast to Bacchus, 
Bacchus' feast celebrate by the papists.  spending all that day, & peradventure 2. or 3. days after in dancing and ryotting in feasting and banqueting, in swilling, and drinking like filthy Epicures, till they being as drunken as swine, 
The papists sobriety and christianity▪  vomit and disgorge their stinking stomachs, worse than any dogs. And thus endeth this satire, together with the plays Interludes, Pageants, office, and ceremonies of this Suffragan bishop.  
Now whether there be anything here, either provable by the word of God, or by the example of the primitive Apostolical church, or any particular member of the same ever since the beginning of the world, I refer it too the judgement of the wise and learned.  Phile. 
What Courts hath the pope under him, I pray you for it can not be that such a mighty monarchy can stand without any?   

Of the Pope's Consistory Courts, with the abuses thereof.  Stuperius. 
HE hath courts of divers and sundry kinds, the several abuses whereof, if I should particularly entreat of, I should rather want time then matter. And therefore I will speak but only a word or two concerning his consistory court, the warehouse of all his horrible fraud, cozenage & deceit. In this court, 
The description of the Pope's consistory court.  for money, crooked things are made strait, rough, smooth, truth, falsehood, falsehood truth, light darkness, darkness light, as pleaseth the master of the fees. Hear gold striketh the stroke, silver ways down the balance, and friendship, bribes, and gifts carry the palm of victory away. Hear such marriages as God's word knitteth together, are dissolved and broken: and such marriages as God's word doth separate are united together. In this bawdy Court are such filthy matters handled, 
Bawdy matters handled in the pope's consistory court.  as chaste ears would blush once to hear spoken of, continent sober minds would shame once to think of, and shamefast lips would bash to utter or speak of. And yet will these Romish Doctors (Doctors of bawdry) laugh at them till they chynke again. 
Doctors of bawdry.  Out of this Consistory Court of Faculties the Quavemyre of all abomination there be granted licences too marry with whom, 
What things be granted forth of this consistory court of the pope.  where, and when thou wilt, for money, although it be thy own sister, and at any time of the year, as well at times prohibited, 
Fruits of the pope's court.  as not prohibited, licences to eat flesh in lent, or any time else, licences to stand with thy cap upon thy head in the Church, at time of high mass, licences to marry as many wives as thou wilt, licences to commit whoredom, adultery, and incest at thy pleasure, to keep whores, & harlots besides thy wife, licences to commit Sodomitry & buggery, licences to rob, to steal, too murder, to slap, & kill, to swear, & blaspheme the sacred name of god: licences to have as many benefices as thou canst get, licences to discontinue from thy Benefices. And to conclude, there is no deed so heinous, no fact so pernicious, nor any crime so infamous, but for money thou mayst have a licence in this court safely to commit it, & not only to commit it, but also to live, and continue in it. Finally, in this court mayest thou have a licence, 
All things in the pope's courts to be had for money  a toleration, a qualification, & dispensation for any thing, & when thou hast done, for money thou shalt have a fair absolution granted thee under hand and seal manuel, to be discharged & set free à culpa & poena, 
Poena & culpa  that is, both from the Fault or Sin committed, and also from the punishment or guilt, due for the same. Therefore what needest thou to care what thou dost? For if thou hast money enough, 
The pope for money will thrust thee into heaven whether thou wilt or no.  fear not, thou shalt not only have absolution, and pardon for all thy sins, but also in the end shalt be chruste into heaven whether thou wilt or not. Such force hath money in this court.  Phile. 
Be there many officers in this cou●te?  Stupe. 
Yea a great many: but because I will not be tedious, I will speak but of one only: namely the official. This Official (I may tell you) is no small fool in this court, 
The official, & his office.  but even such a fellow as ruleth all with a beck. Him must you please (I had well-nigh said grease) with money, bribes, and gifts: if at least you ever mean too have good of your Suit: he only is the yolk of the egg (as they say) or as it were the right hand of the Bishop. By him the bishop casteth forth his flashing thunderbolts of citations, 
The thunderbolts of the romish bishop.  suspensions, excommunications, and the like, when no cause requireth it, against better men than himself. But howsoever it falleth out, if thou be once cited to appear in this court, I warn thee (above all things) to carry argent enough with thee, 
Money will serve thy turn doubt thou not.  and then I warrant thee, thou shalt speed better than if the matter were such, that all laws were on thy side. Then needest thou 〈…〉 care, 
Quid non pecunia potest.  whether thy matter be right or wrong, all is one for that if thou haste money enough. And thus much concerning the Pope's consistory court, the officers, and abuses of the same.  Philemon. 
I have heard talk of certain popish Cha●ons, I pray you what be they?   

Of Popish Canons, their offices, and abuses.  Stuperius. 
THE Canons are jolly fellows I promise you, being all either gentlemen at the least, or else descended of some noble blood, 
Popish canons what they be, and their office.  race, or parentage. In the old time, this room was reserved for the poor, and such as were godly, learned and virtuous men. But in the end Gentlemen and other fat cubbes, seeing the great wealth, ease, credit, and promotion that they were in, and with all their dainty fare & idle life, began to thrust forth the poor men and to intrude themselves. So that now they are nothing in effect, 
canons swarms of lubberly gentlemen.  but swarms of luberly Gentlemen, and rich chaps, living in idleness, gluttony, and all kind of riotous excess.  Phile. 
What is their attire and office?  Stupe. 
They use too wear about their shoulders fine skins of hair, and rich furs hanging down to the skirts of their garments, a goodly sight (forsooth) and well beseemingg such persons. 
Note the hypocrisy of these deceivers.  And sometimes they go in black mantles (if it please their humours) as though they mourned for some notable matter: But Sub vest lugubri latitat ●●r amoenum. That is to say, Under a mourning weed, lurketh many a pleasant and merry heart. Their office is, now and then too resort too the church, attired in their linen white garments, in their cowls, or else in their fox skin hoods with tails hanging down to the ground. 
Foxes attired like Foxes.  Where being assembled, they have nought to do else, but to sing, and chaunte up their Canonical hours, neither they themselves, nor others, understanding what they say. And lest these porkyshe hogs should take too much pains or strain their throats over wide, 
Choir men the canons lurdens.  they have got a sort of Lurdens, too Sing, Chaunte, and Roll it up for them, and these they call Quyre men. For money these fellows will ring it up in deed, and in short space dispatch you the seven hours, and al. And no marvel, for from the time they begin till the time they have made an end, they never cease, but roll it over (like as the waves of the Sea do use to tumble one over another) as fast as ever they can gallop. And whilst they be at their singing, there is such striving who shall go the highest, with such quavering and shivering, 
Hog's striving one too excel another in grunting.  such boing and roaring, that (if thou heardest them) thou wouldst either think them mad, and ready to go to Bethleem, or else that they strove for some wager. By means of which choir men, 
A great grief for poor canons to sit so long.  the Canons themselves are discharged from great burdens, & pains: so that they need to do nothing, but only to sit by, as hearers of this melodious harmony. And oftentimes they seem weary of that too, and therefore strain they courtesy, and without saying, much good do it you, they depart before the play be ended. This is all the toil and travel which these men (poor souls) do take, 
Canons their estimation & reward for doing nothing  & for the which they have great gifts given them, fair houses built them, and are of all men called Rabbi, Sir, Master, worshipful, and I cannot tell what else. At home they keep great hospitality: but what is he that fareth the better for it: The Devil, and their fat paunches. 
Gluttony of Canons.  And thus they live in all kind of pleasure, gluttony, and e●●esse worse than ever did the heathen. And for their pleasures (least melancholy and study together, might macerate their bodies) they keep parrots, Apes, Monkeys, Hawks, 
The fooleries and bableries of Canons.  Hounds, and what not else, to delight them withal. And thus they delight in sin, and take pleasure in iniquity, and I fear me will so continue still, till their mouths be full of clay, and their breasts full of gravel. Hitherto, briefly of popish Canons, their offices and abuses.  Philemon. 
What other degrees be there? I have heard of a certain sort of Curtesanes belonging to the pope's Church, I pray you what be they?   

The manner of the pope's Courtesans, with their horrible exactions, and abuses.  Stuperius. 
THese Courtesans are such fellows, as have overrun their masters, 
The description of the pope's Courtesans.  or as are for some evil face driven out of their country, who coming to Rome, creep either into some cardinal, or Bishop's stable, and so become their horsekeepers. Then in the end, in recompense of their great pains, and long service done, they make them priests. And after they have schooled them well, and made them wise, and fit for their purpose, they send them abroad into the countries: with bulls, and lycenses, to snatch up prebends, 
Popish courtesans benefice catchers.  and benefices for themselves, not when they fall, but before they fall. And if any man be so bold, as in defence of his ●●ght, too withstand their proceed, them they threaten him with the pope, the pope, 
The weapons that papists fight withal.  the court of Rome, the court of Rome: thinking, nay certainly knowing that no man dare mute against them, when once they hear the name of the Pope. In this case the patron like a peisaunt, standeth like one nipped in the head, neither dareth he, nor any, for him, resist this cormorant courtesan, nor yet go to Rome to try his right. By this means his beagles, 
Courtesans the pope's beagles, to hunt for gain.  & greedy gripes the courtesans, not only cease upon fa● prebends, and benefices for themselves, but also for the Pope, and other his whelps at Rome. Thus they having got benefices enough, sometimes they are resident upon them. and sometimes not. And being weary of their benefices, sometimes they sell them, 
Selling of Benefices.  taking great sums of money for them, which done, they trudge too Rome again, with all possible speeds where for money they renew their bulls, and lycenses again. Then run they ranging over the Countries afresh, 
Oh vile & insatiable caterpillars never content with enough.  seizing upon all kind of livings, (as before) and when they have got them they sell them like filthy Simonists as they be. Thus some of them heap up mountains of gold and silver with the spoil of poor churches. Other some come by their prebends, 
Benefices come by, through a strange manner of cozenage.  and livings, by a strange manner of cozenage, as this. After that they have obtained their warraunts, & their grants from the cou●t of Rome, (the month well observed) they clothe themselves either in the habit of some Country man, 
Wolves in sheeps clothing.  or else of some poor Beggar, and when they see the Church door ●pen, then skip they in, & mounting up to the high altar, there t●ei make declaration, how that they hold the prebend belonging to that Church, and holy altar by the plenary power, & absolute authority of the pope, commanding both the patron, and the people that they presume not to molest him, 
An arraund at Rome will cost him either his life, or all that he hath.  lest they fetch him an errand at Rome: this done, than coming down from the altar, he entereth into the house, discharging them that dwell in it, and commanding them to avoid with bag and baggage, and to deliver up the keys, which done, they enter, and take possession of it, and so convert it too their own proper use.  Phile. 
Are these fellows learned or not, for being horsekeepers, as you say they were, I cannot see, how they can be learned?  Stupe. 
They are so well learned, as the best of them all can hardly speak you 4. true words in Latin. 
The great leavening of popys● horsekeepers the Courtesans  They may well be posed in their A. B. C. And yet when they come amongst the ignorant, and simple people, then sclat they it out like dirt upon a wall, and so are they taken to be great learned men. And thus as well they, as the rest delude the world with vain shadows, and live upon the spoil of the church. But of Courtesans, and their abuses enough.  Phil. 
Hath the pope any people & beneficed men in the country? if he have, I pray you show me their office somewhat, with their manner of living.   

The manner of popish persons & beneficed men, with their idolatry, blasphemy and superstition.  Stuperius. 

The true office of parsons and preachers.  THe pope hath great store of them, in every corner. Their office is to preach the word of GOD truly, to minister the sacraments sincerely, & to govern their several flocks & congregations according to the word of God. Then the which they do nothing less, for the pope hath commanded them to the contrary, and therefore they preach (almost) nothing, but lies, dreams, and fantasies of men, 
Preaching of dreams.  idolatry, blasphemy, superstition, and old wives tales, tending to vanity, & leading to untruth. And to the end that they may the deepelier root Idolatry, and superstition in the people's hearts, they have framed them a book, called the Popish portesse, 
The popish portesse a book full of all abomination, blasphemy, & sacrileges.  full of most horrible blasphemy, fables, and ●yes, whereto they are so nearly tied, that they think it an offence inexpiable too dygresse an inch from the same.  Phile. 
What manner of Sermons do these lusty parsons make adays?  Stupe. 
Excellent Sermons I warrant you: for some spend the time whilst he is in the pulpit, 
What manner of sermons the popish persons preach.  in railing & scolding like queans, some in showing what wrong they have done them, what slanders they have sustained, & what tithes, & duties they have lost. Some prophesy what shallbe dear, what good cheap, what shallbe plenty, what scarce, & what weather shall happen all times & seasons of the year. 
Good stuff I warrant you.  othersome fill the people's ears in showing them of the pope's wars, the emperor's wars, the Turks wars, & a thousand such like toys, and novelties. These Robin hoods sermons ended, 
Robin hoods sermons.  there is brought a long bederoll of paper, or parchment, wherein are writ the names of infinite thousands of men, women, and children departed, all which being openly read with a loud voice, are then prayed for, that they may escape the broiling fire of purgatory. This done, too mass go they as round as a ball, 
blasphemies in the mass.  wherein are more blasphemies, errors, abuses, & corruptions, than there are sands in the sea, stars in the sky, or grass upon the face of the earth. But that is no matter, their stomachs are so wranke, that they can brook any thing. 
Person Choploches.  To conclude, mass being ended, these Person Choploches gallop as fast as they can trudge towards Dinner, where how daintily they far, and how well they fill their paunches all the world knoweth.  Phile. 
What exercises do they follow after dinner?  Stupe. 
Dinner being ended, they go commonly to the alehouse (for recreation, 
Exercises after dinner of the Papists.  or else to study, you must imagine) where they carouse, and drink about, till they prate like parrots, and that like pies. 
Good recreation forsooth and sit for the devils grace.  And for further recreation to pass the time away withal, the go to cards, to dice, too chess, tables, and chequer, where wanteth neither drinking, nor swearing, nor any thing else that might offend the majesty of God. And sometimes being weary of these exercises, they fall to talk of hawdry, 
Talking of bawdry.  filthiness, scurrility, and all kind of uncleanness, most shameful to hear. And lest the long winter nights should seem wearisome, or irksome unto them, they have 2. or 3. or as many whores and harlots as they will, 
Whore's papists bedfellows.  to lie by their sweet sides, to solace themselves withal, after long study of good ale and bawdry. Thus hast thou heard the lives of the popish priests or parsons of the country, with their offices, exercises, and abuses. And hereof hitherto.  Phile. 
What say you of Monks, & their doings? I would very fain hear something of them, what fellows they be.   

Of Monks, their order, hypocrisy, blasphemy, superstition, & abuses.  Stuperius. 
THey are such as forsake the world utterly, and betake themselves to a certain kind of straight, 
The order & life of Monks described.  and austere life, living either in the wilderness or desard, or else in monasteries, and other religious houses, situate far from high ways, and devoid of company. Their apparel and habit as it is strange, and monstrous, nay apish and foolish in fashion, 
apish attire of monks.  so is it of diverse and sundry colours. They prescribe to themselves certain very strict rules, and orders to live by, through the observation whereof, together with these works of merit, and desert, 
Merits and desert.  they trust to inherit the kingdom of heaven. Which place if merits might purchase (as they cannot) why should not they have it? for they have such store of them, that for money they will sell you as many as you list. And sometimes for these their works of merit (or as they please to call them, 
Selling of merits.  works of supererogation) they have benefices, farms, granges, castles, & towers, yea whole towns, countries, & dukedoms given them, as the sundry donations of divers kings, 
Gifts for works of supersti●●  dukes, & others in old time can testify. And no marvel, their holiness is very great, for do they not chant up Psalms in the quire like hogs in the stal● do they not roar in the church like the fat ●uls of Basan? do they not fast & pray, & do many good works? And yet for all that, are they not worth a straw. For notwithstanding their fast and abstinence from certain meats, they will be sure to eat twice at the least, 
Fast of papists how strict it is, good Lord.  the shortest winters day that is. When at dinner they giu● up their paunches withal kind of dainties, so as their bellies swelling like ticks or horseliches, 
Fasting in gluttony.  their girdles are fain to be loosed, that their guts may have more scope: at these fasting meals they will be sure too have all kind of fish, all kind of spices, & all manner of wines of the best, & yet notwithstanding these fellows fast to, yea & merit greatly thereby▪ but whether this be a true fasting, or not, both Bacchus, Milo, & Apitius themselves princess of drunkenness, and gluttony. I think, will deny. Thus through their hypocrisy and counterfeit holiness, they have a long time so bewitched the world, the even kings themselves, dukes, Lords, and others all in general, have not only thought them wondrous holy men, but also, have bought good works. 
Good works, and Heaven bought for money.  and heaven itself of them for money.  Phile. 
Why do they separate themselves from other men in that sort, living in the wilderness and desert?  Stupe. 
They say, they do it, because the world being corrupt, they would not be corrupe with the same: 
Why monks live in the wilderness.  and because it liveth in darkness, and they in the light. Because they are holy, and the world wicked, they good, and the world nought, and therefore do they fly from it.  Phile. 
These are vain allegations, & frivolous reasons: for if the world be corrupt, (as it is) and sick, nay dead in sin, than hath it more need of the physician to heal the same, 
Yea but Sir, they may do what they list.  & not to fly away: And if the world be in darkness, then hath it more need of the light to shine amongst them. And albeit that the world be wicked, may not they live godly in the same notwithstanding? Did not Daniel, & many other jews in Babylon live very godly, 
The godly may live godly amongst the wicked.  amongst the wicked? Did not Lot live godly amongst the Sodomites? Did not joseph live godly in egypt, and many others? And therefore their separating of themselves from the world for these causes, is most superstitious, vain, and ridiculous.  Stu. 
You say very well. For although they p●●●end, that they forsake the world, yet is it but metre hypocrisy, 
The deep hypocrisy of Monks.  and deceit: for there are no men, that live more in the world, nor of the world, than they. In so much that there is no great thing any where done, or attempted, but these Monks be at the one end of it. In assemblies for matters of policy, concerning the common wealth, they are not only there▪ but also publish, and set forth laws, statutes, and decrees of their own authority. 
Monks have an oar in every boat, and burn their lips in every man's pottage.  If any wars he toward, their council and advise is required, if any wedding or solenn feast he any where solemnised, they are there. If any church he dedicate, they are at hand, or else the Comedy hath not all his parts. So that albeeyt that they pretend to lead spiritual lives, yet mayst thou find a worldly life in them, if all others had loss it. To what end therefore serveth their riot, their pomp, their proud array, their shaven crowns shorn down to the hard ears, or their houses out of high ways, and the like? Are they any thing else, then sergeant shadows, and pretenced shows of sanctity, 
Practices too win worldly credit and to lose heaven.  and holiness, to win them credit withal, and too get them estimation in the world?  Phil. 
What kind of vows do they make, when they are made Monks?  Stup. 
They vow first of all to obey the abbot or prior, 
Vows which monks make.  the superintendant, or regent of their house. Secondly they swear & vow single life. Thirdly they vow to live in poverty all the days of their life, and utterly to forsake the world, than which they do nothing less. Now how well they keep, & perform their vows all the world seethe. Thus they 〈…〉 the world with their hypo●●●sie, 
Monks their religion wherein it consists.  and feigned Religion consisting, in singing, in rules of life, and sundry other laws, and gestures, quoyned in the crooked forge of their own deceitful brains.  Phile. 
How many sorts of monks are there, any more than one?  Stup. 
There are of divers sorts, but because I may be short, 
Two sorts of Monks.  I will divide them into a sorts, into rich monks, and poor beggars, even such as get their livings with plain begging. The welthyer sort are such, as have been enriched by emperor's, kings, dukes, & noble men: who willingly have bestowed upon them great possesions, 
How Monks have been enriched in old time.  & revenues, yea whole countries, together with pastures, meadows, cities, towns, parks, pureness castles tower●, vine yards, orchards, & sometime whole dukedoms, & earledoms, to this end, & purpose, that by their prayers, merits, alms deeds & good works, their souls might escape the broiling fire of purgatory, and come to rest: which things they promised them without all doubt to perform.  Phi. 
Seing they have vowed to forsake the world, to fast and pray, & to mortify their lives, what should they do with these great possessions & glory of the world? me think this is contrary to their profession, and manner of living.  Stupe. 
You say true, but what then? No man may say, Domine cur ita fancy, Sir you do amiss, but all is well that they do, and all truth that they speak, though it be stark false. Indeed they fas● (I cannot devy) but how? till they be as lean as a brawn, 
Popish fastings.  they pray till they be 〈◊〉 fast on sleep as a Dormoufe, and they embrace poverty, till they be as rich, as any Emperor, king, or prince upon the earth. These are they that have forsaken the world, and yet no men more worldly than they. For mark where any fine valleys were, 
Monks planted themselves ever in the best places of the land.  where any pleasant meadows, or pastures ●ay compassed about with plenty of woods, & waters, wherein they might keep plenty of fish against fasting days came upon them: there commonly they planted themselves, these were the solitary places, where this Porket fathers punished their stately poor bodies, 
Porket fathers.  as you have heard before. And as for the stateliness of their houses they might compare with any King Prince, or Emperor whatsoever. For commonly they were built either of stone or bri●k, 
The stateliness of monks houses.  or both, moted about, & having draw bridges too draw up when they would with parks, forests, and chases adjoining, impaled, and trenched round about, and well stored with all kind of game. In the midst of their houses, commonly they had stately towers▪ furnished with all kind of munition, and bedecked with curious furniture, and rich ornaments and hangings to banquet & feast in. Their c●ndu●ts run most pleasantly in every place, 
The wilderness wherein monks do live.  their gardens, and orchards lie most pleasantly on every ●or, with five herbs, ●urious knots, and cloisters made quadrant wise. So that it seemeth rather a pleasant▪ Paradise of delights, than a wilderness, or de●are to punish or afflic●●nes body in. The other sort of monks be they that live (as I told you) of begging▪ of poling, 
Monks living on begging, poling & pilling.  and pilling most miserably. But of monks their hypocrisy, covetousness, and several abuses hitherto.  Phile. 
Is there not a certain other sect in the pope's church, which they call Abbots? If there be, I would feign hear somewhat of them, for I think they be all whelps of one litter, all pigs of one sow, and all feathers of one nest?   

Of Abbots, their office, sodomitry, superstition, and horrible abuses:  Stuperius. 
THere are Abbots enough, and more than a good many. Their property is this. 
The property of Abbots.  They contemn, and utterly despise both the Monks themselves, their orders, rules, titles, lives, and names, contending with tooth & nail (as they say) to be head over them. And as for their conversation, they are so well given and virtuously inclined; that neither maid, 
The chastity of Abbots.  girl, nor wife (almost) can scape their hands without defiling. Their time (for the most part) as well the day as the night, they spend in wanton lewd dances, filthy talk, in plays, Interludes, & the like lascivious sports tending unto vice. Their crowns they use too have shaven▪ as the Monks have, their beards cut very ill favouredly, 
Abbot's cowls like draf sack  and their cowls hanging down to the midst of their backs, like a bag or Sack to put draff in. Their superstition, blasphemy, and hypocrisy, is nothing inferior to the others: and for their most detestable and horrible vices of Sodomitry and Buggery, they far excel the ●est. Thus much briefly of Abbots, and their ab●ses.  Phile. 
What say you of begging Friars; be there any of them?   

Of begging Friars, their filthy Hypocrisy, cozenage, dissimulation, covetousness, and abuses.  Stuperius. 
Friars quoth you? Yea I tell you, the Pope hath whole Legions of them, swarming like swarms of Bees in every Country and Coast. And as they be man in number, so be they of divers, and sundry names.  Phil. 
What be those?  Stupe. 
Some are called Franciscane Friars, 
Friars of divers and sundry sorts and names.  of S. Francis, Dominick friars, of S. Dominick, Benedictin friars, of S. Benedict. Barnardine friars of S. B●rnard, Augustin● friars of S. Augustine, and so of the rest. Othersom are called White friars, Black friars, Grey friars. Observant friars▪ Friars Mendicats, Smocked friars, & a thousand others the like, which for tediousness I let pass, for as the saying is: pauca sapienti, to a wise man a few things are sufficient. By these you may conjecture what the rest are▪ These friars with the rest of that filthy brood do all of them get their livings by begging. By the practice whereof within few years they heap up to themselves such mountains of gold and silver (and yet it is a marvelous thing▪ 
Friars never handle money (forsooth) and yet have whole mountains of gold and silver  for they never handle money neither, but belike it is given them by miracle) that they build them gorgeous houses, stately edifices, and sumptuous mansions to dwell in, furnished with all kind of necessaries supelle●●iles, comparable to any prince or noble man. 
How friars get their riches.  And these riches they get with their hypocritical prayers, long service, selling of merits, & by their other apish ●estures of ●●cking down the head, & the like, by their dissembling hypocrisy, filled eloquence, 
Pretty practices for vices on stages.  severe grau●tie & austerity of life, by these crossing and blessing, & by their deep profound flattery, and a thousand such devices, wherein they are so skilful, that they may seem not practisioners, but masters, not masters but doctors. Out of these puddles proceedeth all their game. Thorough the exercise & practise whereof, they are grown so impudent, 
The impudence of friars.  that there can be no marriage solemnised neither in town, nor country, no feast, or good cheer any where, but these shameless friars are ready with boxes in their hands, begging, 
Begging friars scratching every man on the elbow.  & craving money, meat, drink, and all things else of every one present. Neither can any man sit quietly either at dinner, or at supper in his house, but in come these beging friars, crossing, blessing, & so faring, that they weary every man and away will they not, till their bellies be full and their hacks well loaden also. Then when certain holy times of fasting and praying cometh in, that the people must fast pray, and do penance, then, and never until then, their gains cometh tumbling in thick and threefold. Then doth every man hire them too fast, 
How Friars gains comes tumbling in.  to pray and do penance for them, and pay them well for their labour. Besides these devices they get abundance of their good dames of the country both of cheese puddings, 
My good dames of the country the friars best friends  pork, bacon, brawns, souse, corn, hemp, flax, bread, pies, custards, flawnes, tarts, and what not; for all is fish that cometh to net, and nothing cometh amiss, that carrieth a penny, or a halfpenny on his back. And because they may seem to give somewhat again, 
The pedlary ware of friars.  they carry about with them tooting glasses, needles, pings, points, laces, ribbons, and other pedlary trifles, which they bestow upon their good dames of the country for bussing them in the dark: Which thing when they be about least they should be cumbered with untrussing of their points, they wear no hosen at all, but long side gowns to the foot: so that with little ado, they may go to their business. And if the good man chance to come in, in the mean time & find him at it, yet must he imagine that he is but in shriving of her, and then all is well.  Phile. 
How many sorts of Friars are there?  Stupe. 
There be two sorts, 
Two sorts of friars.  the rich friars, and the poor begging friars. The richer sort the Pope dispenseth withal, giving them leave that after they have got their great riches together by their begging through the world, they may build them gorgeous houses, and stately buildings, plant orchards, Gardens, vineyards and what they will: purchase lands and livings as much as they please. Then are they called by the names of Lords being ashamed of the names of beggars any longer. The poor begging friars are such, as by their orders are constrained to remain in poverty & to beg as long as they live. 
The poor friars do better service to the pope than the rich.  By them the Pope uttereth his merchandise, and getteth himself into favour of every one. For the better performance whereof they make no conscience to tell lies, to preach fables, 
Friars make no conscience of lies.  & to utter Canturbury ●ales for the word of God. They come & range all abroad every where, both by sea and land: they creep into the bosoms of kings, princes, noblemen, gentlemen, subjects, & others, seeking by all means possible to withdraw them from the way of truth, 
The practice of friars.  & to establish their dads kingdom. And thus by this means, they uphold the pope's estate, and their own credit and wealth.  Phil. 
Whatfurther authority have they?  Stup, 
They have commission granted them from that pope (for fear lest their proud kingdom should catch any s●at●e) to inquire after heretics Lollards & other schismatics, 
Commission to friars to en●uyre after heretics.  which divide themselves from their blasphemous church. By force of which commission (like bloody butcher's dogs) they trouble good men, & women, & in the end, suck their blood, by burning their bodies to ashes, if they will not forsake the truth, & believe their lies. But if there be any out of their jurisdiction, whom they cannot handle so, then fall they the year of our Lord God. 1523. And coming to the Pope afterward, confirmed the same order of jesuits by his Bulls. These holy jesuits (forsooth) are vowesses as well as the rest, but whereas the others make but 3. vows, they make four. 
jesuits ma four vows  First, they vow poverty, secondarily, chastity: thirdly, obedience, and four, that they will trudge over all the world if they be commanded either by the Pope, or any of their good masters else, to set abroach popery, to abandon Christianity, 
The chiefest office of Ies●●ites.  to plaunt superstition, & to root out goodly religion, for this is their chiefest offce, as far as ever I could perceive. And of such perfection are they thought to be, that in holiness they are comparable to the majesty of god, 
The pretenced holiness of se●dicious Iesuit●●  in godliness excelling the angels & in righteousness far surpassing the common nature of mankind. And therefore have they taken to themselves a name derived very blasphemously from the name of jesus. To this end no doubt, that they may be thought to be the servants of jesus and none else, and too hold the truth, and none but they.  
These seditious jesuits, a 〈◊〉 kind of vipers, run roving, from place to place, from country to country, now openly now secretly, sometimes in their priestly habit, 
●h deceitful ●●●elians, ha●ing all shows ●f godliness, & ●et none at al.  and, sometime in serving man's attire, now like lawyers, then like Courtiers, now like one sort of men, and then like another, and all to root up (as I have said) christianity and too plant popery. And if they perceive that the prince will not incline to their humours, nor agree to their idolatry, and papistry, but maintain the true religion of God, then fall th●y to this policy. They creep secretly into the minds of the Nobility, 
jesuits creep secretly into ●●e mind● of ●he nobility.  Gentry, and Commonalty, endeavouring by all means possible to draw their hearts from their allegiance, and obedience too their lawful Prince, to dislike of all things and too sow the seeds of Sedition, to move Rebellion, Insurrection, Commotion, War, Mutunie, Murder, Bloodshed, and all kind of trouble: to this end, that they and their Complices may with more security make Inuast●●s, and Incursions into that Realm, or mites, Lateranes, Georgeans, joannians, Trinitaries, judians, Ambrosians, Magdalines, or Lazarines', red Augustine's, Helenians Sophians, Wincesbaterers, Gregorians, Constantinopolitanes, Columbins, crossed brethren, Fratres clavorum, black friars, brethren of the holy sepulchre, brethren of the vale of josaphat, brethren of S. joseph. brethren of S. Rufines, & a thousand others. Also of women, as Bagghines, 
Orders of 〈◊〉 men.  Cloak Nuns, sister's Chanonesses, Ancresses. Next come in their orders of hermits, as hermits of S. Antony, 
Orders of H●●remits.  hermits of S. Hilary, of S. Macarins', of S. Theon, of S. Frontinean, S. Horns, S. Helen, S. Apolonia, S. Paul the Eremite, S. Piamotus, S. Casomianus, and infinite the like members of the same rabble, all which too recite, were, infinitum fi●ito comprehendere, that is, to comprehend that in number which is without number. Besides these, they have also knights of the Rhodes, or of Malta, Dutch knights, the knights of Saint james, our Lady's knights, S. George's knights, knights of Herusalem, Calitravenses. Montenienses, Gartarienses, Templars, jesuits, and the like which for brevities sake I omit.  Phile. 
I pray you what is the order and original of these jesuits?   

jesuits their order, original, treason, hypocrisy, and sedition.  Stuperius. 

●●e order and ●●ginning of jesuits.  THE order of these dounghill jesuits was first found out in the year of our Lord, 1537. by a spaniard borne in Biskey, named Don Egnatio Leguiola, who with twelve of his companions, whom he called his Apostles, went to Rome, from thence too Venice, pretending to go too Jerusalem, but finding no shipping at Venice ready, returned to Rome again, where he published and set abroach his holy religion of jesuitanisme, never heard of before since the beginning of the world. There was also one john Peter Guarrassa, Bishop of Quietta, a little before found out a stamp or pattern of the same in they are kings, and princes over sin, that they have cut of, and divided themselves from the world, with many other like fanatical mysteries.  Phile. 
Are these friars also anointed as others are, at the time of their initiation?  Stupe. 
They are all anointed, even from the highest to the lowest, from the meanest priest to the head ruler, & governor of all. 
Friars all anointed.  But from whence they derive this annoyling, and greasing I cannot tell, except it be from the ceremonies of Moses law: which if they do, then deny they Christ to be come, and to have fulfilled the law for us. For all ceremonies of Moses law ceased, 
Their ceremonial law of Moses abroge by Christ.  and were abrogate by Christ, as being but types and shadows of things to come, and therefore may they not be used now under the Gospel without great impiety. And albeit that they grease and anoint themselves at sundry tunes, yet espeically do they it, at three several times: 
Friars anointed at three times especially.  namely, the day of their christendom, the day of their consecration, or initiation (as they call it) & at the day of their death. Besides all this, the church, & churchy walls are anointed, the high altar, the bells, & every thing else almost: for their holy oil hath a wonderful power, and force in itself, & therefore as without it they can almost conjure nothing, 
〈◊〉 s holy oil 〈◊〉 h appease 〈◊〉 broil.  so with it they can (in effect) do any thing.  Phil. 
What other orders of religion have they besides these that you have spoken of?   

Orders of religion amongst the papists.  Stuperius. 
THey have infinite orders of religion, and religious men, as orders of the Basilians, 
〈◊〉 infinite order of religō●mongest the papists.  Augustinians, Benedictines, Dominicans, jacobines, Carthusians, Carmelites, Lady brothers, Servitors, observants, Conuentnals, Penitenciaries, Minimers, Capucines, Mendicants, Cluinares, Camaldulenses, Valenbrosences, Cisteriences, Bernardines, Coelestines, Gibertenenses, Milicenses, Castellenses, Mountolevites, Castinenses, Armetes, Regulars, Premonstratenses, Whilliamites to making of filthy books, & railing pamphlets against them, thereby to discredit both them & the doctrine which they profess. They are also ghostly fathers, & do shrive as well kings, princes, dukes, & noblemen, as also all others of what degree soever they be of, & have absolute power (or else they lie) to absolve them a culpa & poena, (as pleaseth them to distinguysh) from their sins, and the punishment due for the same, so soon as ever they have whispered them into their ears. 
shrift a brau● devise for papists and such as maketh 〈◊〉 their purpose.  This is a devise, passing all devices, for by this he knoweth and understandeth the secrets of all both men, and women, of kings & princes, & if they perceive any thing to be intended against the state of their usurped kingome, they certify the pope of it, who strait way sendeth out his flashing thunderbolts of excommunication, 
The pope's curse is God's blessing no doubt.  never ceasing till the authors of that practice be cursed with book bell and candle, as black as Hell pitch. These friars carry pardons through the world, shrive & forgive sin, certify the pope of the secrets, & estate of every country, & often times return to Rome with their bags, and their caskets stuf● full of money like faithful children of such a cursed father.  Phile. 
Have these poling friars shaven crowns as the other their cousin germans the monks have?  Stupe. 
Yea, their crowns are shaven, but after an other manner. For look how much holier they be then the monks or any others, 
friars crowns brother shorn them any others because they are holier than any others.  so much brother are their crowns shorn than any others: and therefore is there no hair permitted to grow all their head over, save around ring or circle, compassing their pate like a headlace or band, with these shaven seonses they range all abroad, despising all others that have not their heads so shor● as theirs is.  Phile. 
I wonder that they be not ashamed to put off their hats, or to let their heads be seen bare?  Stupe. 
They shame at nothing. For know you not, that they have brazen faces, and therefore cannot blush. But if they had not, yet would they not blush at this: for say they, hereby is signified great things: as namely, that ●