A PARADOX, Proving by reason and example, that Baldness is much better than bushy hair, etc.  
Written by that excellent Philosopher Synesius, Bishop of Thebes, or (as some say) Cyren.  
A Pretty pamphlet, to peruse, and replenished with recreation.  
Englished by Abraham Fleming.  
Hereunto is annexed the pleasant tale of Hemetes the Eremite, pronounced before the Queen's Majesty.  
Newly recognized both in Latin and English, by the said A. F.  
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The badge of wisdom is baldness.  
Printed by H. Denham. 1579.   


〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.   

The life of Synesius drawn out of Suydas his gatherings.  
SYnesius borne at Ptolemais a City in Pentapolis, Bishop of Thebes in Aphrica, being a Philosopher, and a Churchman, wrote sundry books, both of Grammar, and of Philosophy: he wrote also Orations of commendation, or demonstration, to Princes and Great men; as the praise of Baldness: and a marvelous notable treatise concerning Providence, and that in the Greek tongue. Furthermore, he made many other books, and Epistles, full of wonderful wit, learning, and judgement.  
Thus much for the credit of the Author.    

The Epistle Apologetical to the lettered Reader.  
IT might be deemed dotage in the Deviser, and madness in the Translator, that they both by consent, would publish and disperse a toy so ridiculous, as this appeareth to be, penned in the praise of Baldness. But the devisers settled judgement dischargeth him of dotage, the Translators advisement cleareth him of madness, & the work itself consideratively perused, doth answer for them both.  
Whosoever therefore, at some evening vacation from their necessary affairs, shall pleasantly pass over this pretty Pamphlet (being but an hours reading) marking how the whole discourse is knit together by joints and sinews: the reasons natural, pithy, and ponderous: the examples historical, short, sweet, and ancient: I think they will vouchsafe it such favourable sentence, as a certain Philosopher gave in the like respect.  
" Namely, Sapientiam, quae splendore suo semper circumfunditur, in minutulis rebus seize exerere: fautorésque suos, vel in leviusculis conatibus, nobilitare. That in matters of small moment, Lady wisdom, always compassed with her own brightness, advanceth herself: and such as love her, though the trade wherein they travel be not weighty, she maketh famous."  
Which saying to be true, the events themselves give in evidence. For, such is the nature of wisdom, that where she dealeth, she leaveth beauty: yea, even in so base a thing as Baldness is, though it seem but a fable at the first blush.  
This being well weighed of our ancients, (men, for their ornaments of mind, matchless: & singularity of praise, peerless:) they might well enough, without controlment, make their knowledge known: powdering trifles with gravity, unlikelihoodes with probabilities, and follies with wisdom.  
This hath been a common practice of our Predecessors, men furnished with sundry gifts of excellency, as by examples of particularities, as well in Orators, as also Poets, both foreign & domestical, may be proved.  
" For, Lucian, and Apuleius written of an Ass, Themison in praise of the herb Plantain, Homer in commendation of Wine, Ephren in dispraise of Laughing, Orpheus & Hesiodus of Fumigations, or Perfumes, Chrysippus of coleworts, Phanias of Nettles, Messala made for every several letter of the A B C, a several book, Virgil of a Gnat, Ovid of a Nut, & Erasmus but lately of the praise of folly, and Heywood yet later, of the Spider and the Flie."  
Shall we give rash and unseasoned sentence against these learned men, naming them brainless & brainsick: or otherwise prescribing unto them matters more meet whereon to meditate? No.  
" But as the workmanship of Myrmecides was wonderful, who made four horses drawing a cart, & their driver with his whip, in such curious compass, that they were hidden under the wings of a fly: and Callicrates a ship, the whole body whereof a little bird covered with his feathers:" even so these, & the like writers, in small matters bewraying great wisdom, deserve no less praise for their travel, than others desire pleasure and profit of their toil.  
And therefore, well advised and prudent Reader, vouchsafe Synesius, a most learned and ancient Bishop, the reading: whom although some unskilfully (I fear) shall condemn, yet you discreetly (I hope) will commend.  
" Vera namque & germana laus eorum ab ore manat, qui omnia suo modulo metiri norunt: spuria verò & adulterina, quae rerum umbellas sectatur. For, that is true & perfect praise, which proceedeth from the mouth of them, that have skill to skan all things in their own kind: as for such praise as seeketh after shadows and fancies, it is false and sergeant."  
With which sentence I conclude, in the behalf of mine Author, submitting his travel to the censure of the sage, among whom, as all wise heads deserve enrolment, so I wish them wisely to weigh his words, who hath written this work upon the warrant of wisdom.  
Thy for thy pleasure and profit Abraham Fleming.   

A pretty Paradox pleasantly painting out the praise, profit, and preferment of Baldness, etc.  
DION 
(a) This Dion, surnamed Golden tongue, was both a Rhetorician, and a Philosopher: his wonted fashion was to go abroad with a Lion's skin over him, to the end that he might be the more reverenced among men. In process of time he become so familiar with Traian Caesar the Emperor, that he road in the chariot of royalty with the Emperor as his companion.  with the Golden tongue, wrote a Book in the praise and commendation of frizzled and shocked hair, a Book so well stored with plenty of good matter & gay words, that every bald pate must needs be ashamed of himself, in consideration of the worthiness of that man's work. For why, his whole discourse agreed with Nature: because all and every one of us, even by the inclination and drawing on of Nature, covet to be fair, handsome, and well favoured: to the attaining whereof, hair well grown, is no slender help, which even Nature herself hath appointed to spring and increase with us, as we ourselves rise in age. When this ornament of hair decayeth and falleth away, it striketh sore torments into the heart. Hereupon I thought, that my luck was to suffer far more grievous inconveniences, than the athenans did at the hands of Archidamus, in the cutting down of the 
(b) Among all other discommodities, which Archidamas did to the Atheniens, it appeareth that he hewed down their goodly woods and groves, lest by them they might any way be succoured.  trees of Acarnania. Presently upon that conceit, I fell in opinion, that I was one of the unseemly Euboeans, of whom Homer reporteth, that being bald before, and hairy behind, they marched unto Troy. Thus doubtful of mind, and at defiance with destiny, as a favourer of 
(c) This Epicurus denied God's providence, affirming that the world was not governed there by, etc.  Epicurus, I said: What place is there left unto divine providence, seeing that all things fall out and happen to all men otherwise than they deserve, considering that their worthiness would be well rewarded? And what offence have I committed, that I should become so unsavoury and unsweet a morsel unto women kind? If I were only contemned and set light by of such women, as are neighbours and borderers hereabouts, I should be never a whit grieved, considering that I keep my concupiscences in such subjection, and my ranging lusts in such bondage, that I dare, for continency & honesty, make challenge even to 
(d) Antëa the wife of king Praetus, lay sore at Bellerophon, and used all alluring means, that she might, to have carnal knowledge with him: but he having regard to his own honesty, & to the king's honour, with stood her incontinency by his chastity.  Bellerophon. But my mother which bore me, and my sisters which sucked of the same milk, what say they? Their words are these, that beauty and well favouredness standeth much upon the hair. This is confirmed by the doing of Queen Parysatis, who restrained her kindness and love from king Artaxerxes, when she saw before her the amiable parsonage of Cyrus. But whiles I mused upon this mischief, I began to take stomach, and put reason in arms against my fight affection, which giving place by little & little, as unable to encounter, I become well appeased. For against two, not not Hercules himself had strength sufficient, who when he was violently set upon of 
(e) These were the sons of Neptunus and Moliona, whom Hercules overthrew in a combat at Olympus, a hill in Thessalia.  Cteaton, and Eurytus, by privy assaults wanted ability and force to withstand them: and had not jolaus assisted him against Hydra, a fowl water Serpent, aided with the sea crab, Hercules had not escaped death. As for me, in so much as I have not 
(f) This jolaus was Hercules nephew, by whose help the heads of Hydra were cut off, & consumed in fire.  jolaus to take my part, I am commanded to give over all unto Dion. But yet, when I enter league with reason, and deliberate with myself in this manner: O! of all bald pates thou art the most excellent, & worthiest to wear the golden spurs: thou art valiant and victorious in deed, which makest no account of calamities, but at great banquets and solemn feasts, when baldness is called in question, and demands made concerning high foreheads, steppest out & showest thyself to the company, as doing thy diligence to maintain an honest seemliness: I forbore Dion in his foolish fancy, and in 
(g) A city in Greece, where such as should try masteries at Olympus, were admitted.  Pisa (as the Proverb is) I prepared myself for this present purpose. And as 
(h) Ulysses, notwithstanding that he felt in himself a disposition to wrath and vengeance, bridled himself with patience, saying to himself: 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, etc. Heart hold out, for thou hast endured far greater griefs than this, etc. Homer Odyss. 20.  Ulysses continued constant and patiented, not storming at the wantonness and lasciviousness of his maidens, nor violently rushing upon them, as greedy of revengement, notwithstanding they were merry and pleasant with their Paramours: even so will I behave myself towards Dion, and all his affections. To the intent therefore that I may not forget his long and gallant speech, which is continually before mine eyes, I will rehearse part thereof, and so proceed.  
When I was risen up early in the morning, and (after my common manner) had made my prayers to the gods, the next thing that I had to do, was to bestow some time and travel in trimming of my hair. For, in the years of my minority, being under age, and but weak of body, I was not so wise as to have regard unto it, but let it grow disordered and entangled, like wool upon weathers backs: yea more fowl and filthy, than it is now fine and frizzled. It appeared therefore wild and rough to the eye, and could not be sundered in locks, nor parted for comeliness, without tearing & renting from the scalp. Moved hereupon, I undertook to disperse the praise and commendation of such, as were delicate and nice about wearing of their hair, whereof, whosoever be not careful, in keeping it in such sort, I can term them no better than dolts & dissards.  
He proceedeth to enter discourse of womanlike gallants, such as carry in their bushy hair 
(i) It should seem that their hair was marvelously curled, that it could keep the bodkin fast wheresoever it did stick.  an ivory bodkin, that when leisure and time served, they might busy themselves in trimming the same: and of such also, as sleeping upon the ground, bolster up their heads in such sort, as they may at no hand touch the earth, having greater regard to the neatness of their hair, than to the sweetness of their sleep. For sleep maketh men clubbish and careless, but hair maketh them amiable and terrible. The 
(k) It is a custom among the Lacedæmonians, in adventures of life and death to comb and trim their hair.  Lacedæmonians (as it should seem) were not negligent in this behalf, of whom but poor three hundred being assembled in arms, and looking for the coming of king Darius to a fierce and furious conflict, set themselves a work in the mean time about their hair, trimming and making the same handsome. Homer in this case useth no small diligence and commendation, so often as he nameth the 
(l) Homer calleth them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, Black eyed Grecians.  Grecians. For he doth not so often praise the eyes, as though the beauty and well favourednes of Gallants consisted therein, as he doth the hair. And though he commendeth Agamemnon for his black eyes: yet notwithstanding he imparteth the same praise indifferently to other Grecians as well as him. But he commendeth Agamemnon by name for his hairy locks, even as he doth all other noble Gentlemen for the same property specially. He praiseth Achilles for his yellow locks, Menelaus for his Orange coloured hair, & Hector for his bright grey bush. Again, what doth he most commend: nay, what other thing doth he praise in Euphorbus the Trojan, whom Menelaus slew, but only his hair, using this kind of speech for the setting forth of that necessary seemliness: 
His lady locks like to the Nymphs,  
with blood seemed rusty red,  
With gold and silver knotted up,  
to beautify his head.  The same Poet speaking of Ulysses, whom Pallas made honourable, saith thus: 
Of her he did receive long hair,  
of iron colour very fair.   
Homer therefore is of opinion, that the ornament of the hair, doth better beseem men than women. For, in extolling the Goddesses, and ascribing unto every one of them their particular praise, he meddleth not with their hair, but buildeth their commendation upon other grounds: namely, the parts and members of their body, aiming at their proportion and making. He calleth Venus, 
(m) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  Golden Venus, juno, 
(n) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  Buleied juno, Thetis, 
(o) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. Homer Iliad. ●.  Siluerfooted Thetis. And setting out jupiter in his majesty, he beginneth with his hair, and calleth it heavenly, using these words: 

(p) Homer in his Iliads. lib. α  Th'immortal king God jupiter,  
his heavenly hair did shake,  
Which made the starry firmament,  
to quiver and to quake.  But I hearing this harmony of dion's tuning, become a Prophet to myself, gathering by conjectural reasons before hand, that it would far with me, as with 
(q) The allusion is to one Thrasymachus, who maintained, more impudently than learnedly, that justice is to be counted among evil things, and injustice among good: which opinion of his, Socrates made him, with shame enough, to recant.  Thrasymachus, namely to be put to shame & silence. Howbeit, this passion of mind hath but slender hold, when I try dion's discourse by the touchstone of truth: whose whole oration consisteth upon smooth words full of gravity, but in effect it is nothing, for it wanteth pith and substance. If he had undertaken to commend baldness, as he hath attempted the contrary, he had (no doubt) gotten himself greater credit, and purchased more praise. For, if so be that in a trifling thing, he be so well furnished, what shall a man think of him, if he had a weighty matter in handling? For he having hair enough to make him comely, and learning likewise to show himself cunning, presumed to speak his mind in the praise of shocked hair. It may be, he is one of those which carry about them an instrument of their vanity, namely a bodkin, therewith at due leisure to trim their flagging locks.  
Forsomuch therefore as I have the more excellent cause to defend, notwithstanding my cunning be not countervailable unto Dions, why should I not make ready myself, according to the equity of my cause, to praise Baldpates, and to dispraise such as are loaden with hairy locks? And for entrance into my matter, I need no curious or vehement beginning, which I am content to leave unto 
(r) Whose manner it is to use some plausible preamble, or preface thereby to wind themselves into the admiration of their auditors.  Orators, as properly pertinent to their earnest cases, wherewith they give strength to their present purpose, arming it (as it were) against the adversary, as the ships (called men of war) are prepared against the enemy. Neither will I take unto me for a precedent, Musicians or Minstrels, whose manner is in trial of excellency, either for praise or pension, nimbly to finger, and run over to and fro, the strings of their Lute, Citerne, harp, or other melodious instrument whatsoever: as though there rested not a further proof of cunning.  
Dion thus beginneth. When I was risen up early in the morning, etc. He doth not commend such bush hairy fellows, as in deed he aught. It is the point of an Orator, one while to delight his hearers, another while to amaze them, and set them a wondering, which things although 
(s) This 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, or modesty of mind, when a man doth not think too well of himself, is a most commendable virtue.  I cannot compass, as wanting that measure of knowledge (and yet not utterly destitute:) with that little which I have nevertheless, I will do mine endeavour, as one not trained up, nor practised in the Art of Rhetoric, but as a husbandman, or rude country clown, brought up at home, and exercised at plough & cart, digging and delving, grafting and planting, keeping of cattle. etc., so that with the spade & hedge bill, the pitchfork and plough handle, in stead of pen, ink, and paper, my hands are grown hard, & my fingers worn. For we will not vary from the custom of our country. 
(t) Not that he wanted cunning or knowledge: but note rather herein his humility.  Neither will I begin with smooth and delicate words, but according to my country fashion, as plain as a packstaffe: for that doth like me best. Assisted therefore with the goodness of the cause, I will set foot in field, and enter combat: framing my tongue rather to revenging than reasoning: that is to say, not uttering my words after the 
(u) For the Phrygian fashion of sounding their words, is more stirring, wherewith Timotheus the musician moved king Alexander oftentimes to make war: as for the Dorian sounding of words, that is more mild▪  Dorian manner, but after the Phrygian fashion. For the matter which I have in hand requireth earnestness, & must have a good heart, and a full mouth.  
We therefore thus determine and say: That a bald pate, of all other, hath lest cause to be ashamed. For why, having a smooth head, and a thin: he hath wisdom enough both for himself & his friend. Such a one doth Homer report Achilles to be: who tare his hair from his head, as esteeming it naughts worth, because he was content to part from it himself, to bestow it upon a 
(x) How devouty Achilles dealt with the dead body of Patroclus, cutting off his own hair, & burning it in the fire, Homer reporteth in the last book save one of his Iliads.  dead corsse: and to bury it with the body of his friend. For, what is the hair, but a certain thing void of life, yea a dead thing, belonging to the parts of the body endued with sense and feeling? Beasts therefore which are far from understanding and reason, have all their body overgrown with hair: but man, for that he is partaker of a more excellent estate of life, appeareth more naked and bore, but less hairy. And to the end he might not keep company with other creatures, his hair groweth not every where: but scatteringly here and there. Whereby it cometh to pass, that how much the less hair any one hath about his body: so much the more doth he excel other, even as far as a man is to be preferred before a beast.  
And as man of all other living creatures is the smoothest, and the wisest: even so 
(y) Hereof cometh the common Proverb, As simple as a sheep, when we will note any one that wanteth wit & discretion, or other wise an innocent.  a sheep of all living things, is the foolishest, because there is no part of her body without hair. For what hair is to other beasts, that is will to the sheep. Hereupon it followeth, that the having of hair biddeth battle unto wisdom and discretion. For they will not be together at any hand. Such dogs as have smooth ears and bellies, are most fit for the game: but rough curs, which have more hair than heart, as they are rash and hasty, so they are soon dashed: it is greater vantage to the huntsman, that such hounds were kept away, than appointed for the game, lest in meddling they mar all.  

(z) Plato (as I take it) meaneth by these two horses, Reason and Affection, which draw the minds of men contrariwaies, even as they are of force one above the other. Read him in Phaedro suo, touching this matter.  Plato speaking of the two horses, which the soul (as a waineman) driveth and directeth, calleth that a crafty, a stout, and a stubborn stallion, which by reason of hair overgrowing his ears, waxeth dumb, and hath lost his hearing. Which must needs be so, as he in process of time shall become blind, who is full of hair about that part, which preserveth the sight. Nature cannot away with this, that vile & contemptible things should be joined in fellowship with precious and excellent things. The five senses are precious things, and those parts whereby all living creatures have life and feeling, are excellent things: among all which, the sight is the quickest, the liveliest, the most necessary, and (you know) the eyes have their smoothness and baldness. That therefore which in man is of this kind, deserveth most honour. So it followeth in conclusion, that the very best things are bald. For we showed a little before, that man is so much more excellent than any other creature, by how much he hath the less hair.  
Seeing therefore man is a living soul, and a most excellent creature: I say that such as by Fortune have lost their hair, and are become bald, must and aught to have preferment above the rest. Hereupon Diogenes, Socrates, Plato, and a world of wise men, incomparable for knowledge, learning, utterance and judgement, are painted with bald pates. Let not 
(a) This Apollonius let his hair grow about his shoulders in length, & he was such a seducer of men, that among other honours done to him unmeet for a mortal man, Alexander the Emperor, and son of Mammea, worshipped him for a God, placing his image between the image of Abraham and Christ, in his closet.  Apollonius Tyanaeus with his hairy locks scoff at our speech, neither let any other seducer, whatsoever he be, contemn our sayings. For, unless this kind of coggers had not shocked hair, the ignorant multitude could not so lightly be blinded with their jugglings. The black art or science (as they term it) is no wisdom, but a wily working of wonders: it is no knowledge, but a certain counterfeit show of cunning. For prudent lawemakers count wisdom most honourable, and against witches, sorcerers, conjurers, and such like, they maintain executioners. We say therefore in truth, turn it as you list, he that is wise, the very same is bald: and if he be not bald, surely he is not wise.  
In like manner it falleth out in divine affairs, that is, in things belonging to the supernal Gods. 
(b) These festivals were kept and holden at Athens, when winter wore away, and the weather waxed warm.  For in celebrating of Bacchus' solemnities, they to whom the charge thereof was committed, were all over grown with hair: but the younger Satyrs, who had about their heads, garlands of Pine tree leaves, were most reveling & outrageous. Now, in such a hurly-burly as it were of drunkards and Bedlams, bald 
(c) This Silenus, being an ancient Satire, was tutor and guide to Bacchus, and was ring leader to all the rest of the Satyrs.  Silenus bore principal rule: which was done, not without the great care of jupiter: that a Baldpate, endued with wisdom and soberness, should be foster-father unto Bacchus, lest through his natural inclination to wine bibbing, he become mad, and so falling into an extremity of lunacy, outface his father jupiter, and deny him all dutiful obedience.  
Socrates, among all other good properties, being possessed with the spirit of modesty, and marvelous sparing to spread his own praise: rejoiced notwithstanding, and boasted of himself, that he was like to bald 
(d) To whose images, Alcibiades compared Socrates, for that as the gravers of them cut them cunningly, in out ward show homely: but inwardli, their cases, wherein they were kept, being opened, they seemed divine and heavenly: even so Socrates outwardly appearing but a simple man, inwardly notwithstanding, was another manner of fellow than he was taken to be.  Silenus. For the head is the castle of knowledge, and wisdom. This comparison is not perceivable to the unskilful. Bushy hair is a beauty unto youth, in whom wisdom is not yet grown to her flower: but when age is come upon us, which breedeth in us understanding and experience: what mean we (old doting fools) to be proud of our hairy locks? If an old fellow be curious & delicate in trimming of his hair: surely he is brainsick.  
The case therefore standeth thus, that hair and wit will not draw under one yoke: but are like affected one to another, as light and darkness, whereof the ones departure, is the cause of the others succession: that is, the one must needs be absent, or else the other cannot be present. Will you have the cause of this contrariety laid open before your eyes? Of all things, hair, as it is simply the basest, & of lest account: so is it most subject unto change and alteration. In unperfect creatures it doth overcome, and bear a certain sway: but in perfect and excellent bodies, it hath no such force, but falleth off and consumeth away. Do but call to your consideration the trees of the earth, whose end is to yield and bring forth fruit. In the Spring time what gay shows do they make, what variable colours do they bear in their blossoms, with what beautiful braveness are they garnished? They have their blossoms, their buds, their leaves, etc. all which (when the fruit cometh to ripeness, whereof those are but certain foretokens) wax dry, wither away, and turn to nothing. For that which is perfect in itself, needeth no beautifying: and a thing is then said to be perfect, when there is to be seen in it, the appearance of another seed.  
Moreover, 
(e) A city in Greece, the people whereof, in celebrating the festivals of Ceres, called Anacalypteria, which are kept at such time as the fruits of the earth appear in their ripeness, are bald & bareheaded.  Eleusis doth celebrated the solemnities of Ceres, called Anacalypteria. Again, the mind of man, forsomuch as it is the most excellent of all seeds, which descend from above, and hath his mansion or dwelling house in the head, the fruit whereof is substantial understanding, it comforteth and reviveth the head to have fair hair, which is (as a man would say) but buds and blossoms. And as before the fall of the leaf, the fruit is not come to full perfection: no more is understanding settled in the head, until such time as all superfluities are fanned away. When therefore you see a baldpate, suppose straight way that the fruit there hath attained perfect ripeness, and made the head a garner to preserve it: yea, you may boldly guess, that such a head is the Temple of God. The festivals therefore of Ceres, as wisemen would have them named, were also called 
(f) In english, Ascendings: because the minds of them that were occupied therein, were lifted up aloft.  Epibateria, because of the ascending of the mind up to the contemplation of heavenly things. Which festivals, contrariwise, are termed of the simpler sort Anacalypteria, because that in celebrating of the same, the assembly were bald & bareheaded: thus imagined the multitude. For he which beginneth to be bald, hath entered holy orders, and is instructed and taught from above the mysteries of the highest God.  
And as Pomegranates, and walnuts are nought which die in their shells: so are all heads stark nought, which want the heavenly fruit of wit, being overgrown with the superfluous moss of a dead thing. 
(g) The Egyptians shave their bodies all over, to th'end that no vermin or other filthiness may breed about them, when they are busy about the service of their Gods.  The Priests of Egypt used of custom to keep their eye lids void from hair. Whereby although they seemed in show to be but fools: yet notwithstanding they were the wisest men in the world. For it is a common Proverb, that The Egyptians excel in wisdom. For there aught to be no agreement between things everlasting, and things corruptible. The bald pate hath a kind of natural acquaintance with God. Now Sir, whether God be bald, or not: that is counsel to us. Of this I am assured, that the things which are next unto God, are the Spheres of the heavens, and they are bald: in like manner are the stars. The Heaven itself appeareth bald in our sight: in the praise whereof what so ever we can say, the same may well serve to commend baldness.  
And although Homer the Poet, & Phidias the Painter, give jupiter such 
(h) He alludeth to the words of Homer, in the first of his Iliads, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, that is to say, jupiter shook heaven.  long shocked hair flagging about his shoulders, as that with the wagging thereof he maketh the very firmament to quake and tremble: yet notwithstanding what a jupiter is in heaven, we are not now to learn. Whether there be besides him, another visible jupiter, consisting of soul and body, members and limbs, etc. it passeth my skill to conceive. But if there be such a one, let him be so good as to stoop: for there is one above, whose majesty is unexpresseable. But that there is such a jupiter, whose hairy locks make him so wonderful, who affirms it, but the Poet, and the Painter, men so far from setting out truth in her nakedness, that they delight wholly in the flattering colours of falsehood and lies? 
(i) Poets and painters have a quicker eye to their own private praise than to the setting out of truth in her kind.  They are fantastical bragging fellows, & what soever they do, they do it for their own vain glory, & not for truths sake.  
The ignorant sort imagine that bushy hair maketh men honourable: and at all external or outward things, if they be gay and rare, the rude multitude do wonder. Creatures having outward hair, it is to them in stead of outward goods. In place of the Mind: Nature, yea variable Fortune hath the hair at commandment. The gifts therefore of Nature and Fortune, are supposed of the unskilful commonalty, to be (as it were) bridges to blessedness. He which either writeth or speaketh to the unlearned people, necessary it is, that he get their good opinion: yea, he must invent and devise, reason and discourse of such matters, as the people like well of, and allow. The unlearned and untaught multitude are favourers of absurd opinions: whereby it cometh to pass, that if any one presume to bring in a thing contrary to common custom, he must needs 
(k) He alludeth to Socrates, who was condemned to drink poison, when he was accused of Anytus, and Melytus, that he thought scarce well of the athenans Gods.  drink poison: this punishment cannot be avoided. Unto what torments (think you) would the Grecians have condemned Homer, if those things which he spoke of jupiter had been consonant and answerable to the truth?  
The Egyptians, and specially the Wise men and Prophets, put not men of occupation in trust with the making of the images of their Gods: but look what baggage chanceth to fall from the greedy Hawk and ravennous 
(l) A bird in Egypt coal black, which devoureth much noisome and venomous vermin. Cicero speaketh of them somewhat largely, lib. 2. De natura Deorum.  Ibis' bills, therewith they deceive the people in the Church porch, whiles they themselves being in the Chancel, hide their sacrifices, and proceed in their solemnities in the clossettes of their Gods, where certain round boxes are kept shut, whereof if the people should have but a glimpse, it were as much as the Sacrificers lives were worth: or else they show unto them Aesculapius with his bald pate, although the Grecians have him hairy locked in 
(m) Epidaurus, a city in Peloponnesus, wherein was built the famous temple of Aesculapius.  Epidaurus, but they neglected the searching out of the truth. The Egyptians maintain the art of enchantment towards their Gods, and they speak by certain signs and figures in their tongue.  
Now, if you say that a blazing star is a hairy star, it resteth to be proved first that it is a star in deed: but doubtless it is no star, although it be termed so amiss: neither doth it continued above four days, and then consumeth away by little and little. But suppose it were a star, and consider what a mischievous and evil thing the hair thereof is, which bringeth decay even to the star itself (if it be a star:) besides innumerable miseries whereof it is a foretoken, all which I pass over in this place. Have we ever read that any good star wasted to nothing? But this star with crisped hair vanisheth, and the substance thereof dieth.  
Seeing then that all celestial bodies are blessed, and therewith also 
(n) The round figure which keepeth in itself an even proportion: of this figure is the Heaven, etc. His meaning is, that if the outgrowing of the hair were shaven away, the head would have a resemblance of that perfect figure.  the spherical figure: I would wish that both I myself, & all my friends, were endued with that good thing, that we may be like Gods. Look what things are like the true God, we may boldly call them fair, beautiful, & amiable. But you will say, it is a fond thing, yea repugnant to reason, that we should attribute unto baldness such honour, as to give it divine names, and heavenly praises: considering that it hath no likeness or agreement with things celestial. But we being disposed to speak well by, & to please baldpates, say, they are certain little Moons: neither know I what may be applied unto them more deservedly, or more peculiarly. For first of all it appeareth with two horns, than it entereth into the quarter, afterwards it showeth more than half, and lastly ariseth the full Moon. So it fareth with baldpates, who are (as it were) full Moons, or rather Suns, because they diminish not, but keeping continually their full compass of roundness, give light unto other stars in the skies.  
We read of the 
(o) Among the rest, Melanthus is mentioned in this manner, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, etc. They fly upon him, they catch him by the cock's comb, and hold him fast by the hairy locks. Hom. Odyss.  wanton wooers with whom Ulysses had to deal, after his return from his long travel, how he being a baldpate, made a slaughter of above a hundred hairy locked younkers with his own hands, having none other help. Baldness therefore is an excellent thing: for it hath light in itself, & it giveth light unto others. The cause of this brightness is baldness and smoothness. At what time we go to the better, at the same time we departed from the worsser. Life and light being two of the best companions, are contrary to death and darkness. And if so be that brightness have nakedness, & yet beautifieth: darkness undoubtedly having hairmesse, of necessity beseemeth. But you say that hair is a natural shadow, such as the praises whereof the Poet Archilochus describeth in the person of an harlot, saying: 
Her neck & shoulders darkened were  
with shadow of her broidered here.  And as for shadow, what is it else but darkness? The night is the greatest shadow of all shadows, proceeding from the earth, which in deed stoppeth the Sun beams. Woods & Groves, because they are dim and dark, notwithstanding their pleasantness, are destitute of light, even at noon day. Light, for so much as it is the proper goods of the Gods, is heavenly, and therefore is to be ascribed unto heavenly things. Whereupon when many yield their heads to the barbers scissors & raisor, to be shorn and shaven, that thereby they might recover and preserve their health, which of all things is the most excellent, being in deed heavenly, it falleth out, that they are no sooner bald, but by and by they are safe from sickness, which otherwise they might have sustained. 
(p) A reason drawn from health, whereby Synesius persuadeth baldness to be very commodious and good.  The rheum leaveth them, deafness forsaketh them, blearedness biddeth farewell unto them: and a multitude of other maladies, which proceed & issue from the head, vanish away: all which prove sufficiently, what a worthy and notable thing it is, to be bald and without hair.  
To the head, as to a Castle or Tower, the strings or ropes of diseased are tied, & hung down through the rest of the body. If any be bald, then is he healthful: yea, he beareth about with him, the image of bald 
(q) This Aesculapius was the first finder out of Physic, and was bald: whom divers people adored & honoured as a God.  Aesculapius of Egypt, of whom he is lively representation and pattern. He that intendeth to recover and preserve health, let him address himself to be like the first finder and inventor of Physic. The skull abiding bore, and suffering the heat of the Sun, & the rage of tempests, in short time changeth from bone to iron: and thereby is set free from the assault or danger of any sickness. And as the spears of the mountain, are much more excellent than those of the fens: even so a bald & smooth sconce, is to be preferred by many degrees, before a shocking frizzled hairy head.  

(r) Chiron was Achilles' Master, and made him a spear of Ash, which grew upon the mountain Pelius, this spear none could handle but on he Achilles, as Homer saith, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, etc. Achilles' only had skill to handle it, etc.  Chiron, not without good cause, cut Achilles' spear out of the mountain Pelius, where it grew, and not out of any low land or down. A hairy head may be compared to trees growing in fens: for as they, so this is nourished and fostered in the shadow, and therefore unfit to come in place, where there is any war or dangerous tumult. About Arabia towards Egypt, in a conflict between Cambyses and Psammenitus, there was a sore slaughter made of both their soldiers: for the putting apart of whose carcases, (the dead bodies lying mingled one with another) they had none other mark whereby to know them, than their heads: and where they were slain, there they were buried. Now they were discerned by this token. The heads of the Medes are thin, tender, and not able to abide the bitter brunts of war, yea so soft they are, that a stones cast is able to bruise and break them. Contrariwise, the heads of the Egyptians and Aethiopians are thick, hard, and tough: so that it had need be a sharp & shrewd stone that must make them smart. What was the cause of this difference? The Medes do wear thick coverings upon their heads: but the Egyptians are brought and trained up in the scorching Sun shine. 
(s) Synesius proveth his reason by example of experience and trial.  If this will not breed in you belief, then hear what I shall tell you. Give a Scythian a hard blow on the head, he dieth by and by thereupon: strike the Mede, he complaineth not of pain.  
Dion telleth a tale of certain games called 
(t) Which were solemnly kept the first day of every month, or of every new moon. They may be called in English▪ The feasts of the new moons.  Hieromenia, at the celebrating whereof, an odd fellow having a bald pate, suffered a Ram to run full butt against it with his horns. This fellows use was, to get him day by day to the Barbers, and after his shaving, to have hot pitch powered upon his pate. The Megarenses would stand in need of flagons, if they should hit them against such a stony sconce, where unto potshards oftentimes stick fast, and make it harder. 
(v) Synesius answereth the objection of Dion, affirming (as Pindarus the Poet saith) that need and hunger will make a man do that which is against honesty: again, he saith that the deed of one private man, aught not to turn to the blame of a whole company.  This was Pindarus wish or request, that having enough to serve our turn at home, we might sit in the Theatre, beholding & hearing such things as were said and done. And if so be that this failed, yet desireth he thus much, namely, the suffering of many miseries, rather than to fall into the extremity of all evils, even impoverishment and famishment. For they that are driven to distress, being destitute of succour, are compelled to lead the life of Players, to strip themselves naked upon a stage, to bewray their exceeding folly and madness, to juggle themselves into sundry shapes, and to become gazing stocks to the whole multitude, etc.  
Dion supposing hair more handsome for men, than for women, speaketh against himself, and tumbleth out flat contraries. For how should we attribute that to strong men, which when they have, maketh them weak? Furthermore, it was decreed by law, that men should not always have hair. For the 
(x) This field fell to the Lacedæmonians by law of arms: after which time the Argives sustaining the loss, vowed baldness, till they had recovered Thyreae field again. The Lacedæmonians contrariwise, enacted by law, the wearing of long hair, which before they neglected.  Lacedæmonians, after the strife about a parcel of land, called Thyrea field, which they, being on the surer side, had in possession: and the Argives before the same variance, both of them suffered their hair to grow. As for women of all ages, and all quarters of the world, because it hath been, and is a great ornament unto them, they make much of their hairy locks, they comb, they sponge, and they trim them with no small care and diligence: neither hath it been heard, that any woman hath suffered her head to be shaven with a raisor: and as for any of that sex, there hath not been seen any one, time out of mind, having a bald pate. But if they chance to be bald, or otherwise to have scant of hair, that is to be imputed unto sickness: for sickness is a cause of baldness. Name me any one man, that having lived out his full age, hath not been bald. Baldness therefore is the end of nature, which end every one hath not the gift to attain.  
The 
(y) Herodotus in his seventh book of histories, called Polynmia, setteth out this Stratagem at large.  Lacedæmonians encamping in Thermopyle, and looking for the coming of the enemy, exercised themselves, in the mean space, in trimming and dressing their hair: but though in this they thought themselves jolly fellows, yet notwithstanding not one of them was partaker of victory. The hair is a dead and senseless superfluity, & in dead things they have their nourishment. The Egyptians shaving of the hair of their dead bodies, even to the very stumps: found notwithstanding their hair grown again, and their beards shot out in length the year next following. Dion passeth over with silence, those valiant Grecians, which got the conquest. He maketh no mention of those that went on warfare with 
(z) Read Quintus Curtius, writing of the feats of arms, which Alexander & Darius did.  Alexander, and felt the force of Darius to their smart, the Lacedæmonians alone plaguing them: in which skirmish or encounter they perceived what a fowl discommodity and inconvenience, the soldiers at 
(a) A country in Persia, where the mighty power of Darius was vanquished.  Arbela, in a battle there fought, sustained: who when they were shaven, and disburdened of that cumbersome superfluity, Fortune was so favourable unto them, that they endured the fury of the conflict.  
Ptolomeus the Son of Lagus, was present at a combat fought between a Macedonian, and a Persian, wherein, at the beginning of the encounter, the Macedonian lay so sore at the Persian, that he went to the worst. But the Persian, casting his weapon one way, and his target another, got within the reach of his enemy, and catching fast hold of his beard and hair, laid him along upon the ground, and slew him. 
(b) The example of one private man followed of a mighty and populous army, to their great advantage, fame, & renown.  The Persians seeing this, as their Countryman had done before, so did they, not neglecting so good an advantage. For it grew to be common through out all the Persian army, yea it was to them all an infallible rule, that if they might come within the Macedonians, and lay hold upon their hair, it was as much as they required towards the obtaining of the conquest. Hereupon it came to pass, that such soldiers in Alexander's host, as were bald, endured the whole force of the conflict, and bore the burden of the battle: Alexander himself, being glad to put off his armour, and warlike furniture, fled with shame enough out of Cilicia. Afterwards when he had caused his host to be conducted out of the enemies reach, and had paused a space, he persuaded the Macedonians to shave off their hair, of which hindrance when they were eased, he returned with a fresh power, took courage, gave assault to the Persians, encountered with them valiantly, and triumphed over them victoriously. 
(c) If not terrible to their enemies, then amiable to their lovers: such will seldom prove stout soldiers.  A bushy beard therefore, & shocked hair, make not men seem terrible, unless peradventure unto fearful infants, in whose sight they appear like Robin good fellows, or Hobgoblins.  
How then are the enemies terrified? When there is a strong bright helmet upon the head, which (to speak plainly and to the purpose) is nothing else but an armed skull: it is that wherewith the enemy is terrified. And if it so fall out, that for ornaments sake, any one, or more, beautify their headpiece, with the hair of a horsemaine, considering that usually it hangeth behind, this is no hindrance at all unto baldness. If Achilles (as Dion reporteth) had long hair, it was in the heat and flower of his youth, when his mind was prove and inclinable to anger. 
(d) Of such speaketh the common proverb, Moore hair than wit.  His head was wild with hair, and his mind was wood with wrath. But as (for Achilles' sake) we commend not anger in the mind: so do we not (for his sake) praise bushy hair upon the head: and yet Achilles did set so little store by his lovely locks, that he was content to let 
(e) For he cut them off, and cast them into the fire, to be burnt with the body of Patroclus.  Patroclus' father them. Dion doth not rehearse the words of Homer truly, but applying the verse to his purpose, falsifieth the Poet. Whose saying is this. 
Behind Achilles' back did stand  
A Goddess passing fair,  
And plucked with her heavenly hand  
his yellow coloured hair.  Whereas indeed the Poet's words lie in this order. 
Down Pallas came, in nothing slack,  
that junos' grace beesought,  
And standing at Achilles' back,  
his hair behind she caught.  Out of which speech of the Poet, his meaning may be conjectured to be this, that Achilles' baldness 
(f) Because his hair failed before, and grew all behind: as it should seem by the Poet's manner of speaking.  at that time took beginning. Aristoxenus reporteth of Socrates, that he was quickly kindled to anger, even by nature: and not only to anger, but also to other evil and lewd vices: but mark this by the way, he was not then bald. Afterwards, when he grew to be five and twenty years of age, Zeno and Parmenides the Philosopher's coming to Athens, to see the festival solemnities of five days continuance, called 
(g) The Festivalles of Minerva, which lasted five whole days, with great solemnity: these festivals in Latin are called Quinquatria.  Panathaenea, kept in the honour of the Goddess Pallas, he turned over a new leaf, and learned another lesson.  

(h) As is to be seen in Homer's Iliads, lib. 7. To whose worde●, Philostratus assenting saith: 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉: That is, He chid and took up Paris, as one fearful and too much given to niceness.  Hector upbraided his Brother Paris, for the womanly trimming of his hair: whereby it appeareth, what resemblance, or rather alliance there is betwixt baldness, and wisdom. Moreover, the verse of Homer, which Dion repeateth concerning Hector, is mangled: neither is any such verse found in that Poet. For I think that jupiter himself, should hardly have a place in his works, in that respect. If Menelaus had yellow hair, yet notwithstanding we gather not thereby, that he had bushy locks, neither did his commendation depend upon his hair: but the Poet described the whole parsonage of Menelaus, by naming one part. Dion lacking matter to whet his wits withal, supposeth that the praise of his hair, and the praise of his person are all one, without difference.  
When juno desired the carnal company of jupiter, and longed to lie with him, among all other light allurements to make herself amiable, 
(i) Homer affirmeth it in his Iliads, Lib. 14. where he showing the shifts that juno used, to flatter jupiter, saith of her: 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is to say: When she combed her hair, she folded up her locks very cunningly.  the trimming of her hair was a principal. I confirm not my matter with lies, as Dion doth. I allow not, that any hairy thing should have a dwelling place in heaven. In the Stars there is nothing to be found that smelleth of Venus. As for jupiter's hair, I say the Poet spoke after that sort, for the capacity of the people, whose ignorance must be helped by demonstrations. Dion, in all his discourse, concludeth not that hair is a good thing to them that have it: nor that it is an evil thing to them that have it not. Our treatise contrariwise searcheth out the very secret properties of things, and findeth by reason, that baldness is excellent, that it is heavenly, that it is the end of Nature, that it is the thing whereby we attain heavenly wisdom, and that it purchaseth to them, which have it, the possession of innumerable benefits, as well of the body as of the mind. Whereas indeed bushy hair, in steed of commodities, bringeth inconveniences, and namely, likeness unto beasts. For hair, being but an excrement, or peerless thing, the toys of Nature, and relics of an unperfect stuff: besides that, being common to beasts, putteth them in mind, whose lot is to have it, of their brutish nature, and of all things contrary to that which is divine.  
Of this stamp are adulterers, and lascivious livers. Homer was of opinion, 
(k) The mischiefs which follow that vanity, in either sex, are like: for thereupon ensueth shipwreck of honesty, and other villainies.  that violatours, or ravishers of Virgins, were semblably given to have their hair delicately trimmed, as wanton women to the colouring, counterfeiting, fri●ling, and laying out of their locks, which is a ready help to make them harlots. And surely the Poet spoke but the truth. For take me such a one, whose delight is in this vain niceness, and it is a hazard if he or she be not lewd of life. These are the ringleaders to all villainy, who have laid their honesty to pledge, never minding to redeem it: a kind of people given to the spoil, void of hope, without grace, destitute of truth, etc. Some lusty younker, whose beauty hath bred in him extreme boldness, hath the face to entice and carry whither he will, both by sea and by land, men's wives, and daughters, without remorse of conscience: they have the cast to convey them to this corner & to that, there is no darkness to fail them in their knavery. The silly weak soul, thus kept like a captive, doing service with her body to a whoorehunter, hath her mind perhaps upon her husband. The whoorehunter with his harlot's hair, & minionlike manners, inchaunteth the woman's wits, whereby it falleth out, that the husband looseth his wife forever, having no hope of recovery. This bushy hair, with the like yoke fellows, have been the overthrow of many a populous City. What other cause was there that Asia and Europa were in arms, but adultery? What other thing set the Grecians on fire, to destroy the 
(l) He meaneth Troy, whereof Priamus was king: who●e Son Paris, through the help of V●nus, with whom he was in favour, for preferring her in beauty, before Pall●s, & juno, stolen away Helena, the fair Lady of Greece, whereupon followed a bloody battle of ten years continuance.  City of Priamus, but adultery?  
There is yet a mischief much worse than that of Paris, wherewith 
(m) This Clisthen●s being given to lewdness and wantonness, would be sure every da●● to be ●●●med at the barbers, that he 〈◊〉 always 〈…〉 young.  Clisthenes, 
(n) This Timar●●●s was so ●●●●tinent and filthy that he made it 〈◊〉 matter of conscience to deal with his own ●●●●e and na●●rall mother.  Timarchus, and all those are empoisoned, which blasoning their beauty, sold themselves for salary & wages to commit filthy lewdness: & if they all, at all times, did not for money, make an exchange of their honesty: yet they spared not to do it, for the satisfying of their abominable pleasure. To be at a word, such as so daintily do dress their crisped sconce: what are they but effeminate fellows, womanlike wantoness, and hucksters of their own honesty? For what do they else but train customers unto them? And he thinketh best of himself, that can come nearest to women in niceness, whereby favour is obtained. Now Sir, they that are of the Goddess Cotys religion, other judgement than this shall not prevail against them. Let them counterfeit their hair often, let them frisle and crispe it often, let them tie it up in locks often, let them perfume it with sweet ointments often, and this report they shall have for their labour, namely, that they offer unto 
(o) This Cotys was the Goddess of filthy bawdry, and was highly honoured at Corinth. Priapus the God of Gardens a meddler in the same merchandise. Horat. satire. 8. Lib. 1.  Cotys and Priapus, sacrifices fit & seemly for their personages.  
Pherecydes meeting a youth with frizzled bushy hair, hid his eyes with his cloak, pointing as it were with his finger, at the disease wherewith he was infected. For he declared by his body, what was in his mind: whereby Pherecydes judged, that he was of the right stamp of stallions. Again, if Proverbes have in them any smack of wisdom, as Aristotle is of opinion. For he saith that proverbs are certain ancient remnants of Philosophy, left unharmed after a great slaughter of people, and that for their shortness, and wittiness, they are kept and used. A Proverb therefore is a speech having in it a kind of excellency, and bearing a badge of his ancientness, that it was taken out of the treasury of Philosophy. For our forelivers were much more bend to the contemplation of the truth, (called Philosophy) than we are in these days. If Proverbs therefore have in them any smack of wisdom, what then is the meaning of this Proverb? There is no bush hairy fellow, but, 
(p) But he is bawdy. For so Beatus Rhenaenus supplieth the rest of the Proverb, in his comment upon this place.  etc. The end of this Proverb I will suppress with silence, referring it to the sound of the Echo: for I make it a matter of conscience, to express that in plain speech, which is filthy in nature and in name. Good Lord, have you found it? How think you? Is it not truth itself? Surely I take it for an oracle. Thus you may see, what pith there is in Proverbs. Furthermore, Proverbs are warranted and authorised aswell by the testimony of those that have them now in their mouth, as by the witness of them which lived long ago. For nothing maketh Proverbs immortal, that is, always to continued in memory, but the tongues of such as daily and accustomably do use them, who by their speech keep that thing alive, and as it were in doing, which is meant and signified by the words. For Proverbs springing from particular deeds, and grounded upon special examples, do not only purchase to themselves the more credit, but also by their testimony confirm examples. To what purpose serveth Plato's disproof? 
(q) He rejecteth the testimony of Rhetoric, as not indifferent in this case: because like loveth like. For a flourishing tongue, and a fri●●ed head have some agreement.  He being an Orator, manifestly showeth, that Rhetoric is a smooth, a painted, and a pausible science: and therefore more addicted to flattery, than to truth and equity.  
They are much bound to Dion, (and no men in the world more) which betake themselves to woods, caves, and dens, choosing rather there savagely to live, than in places of civil society: that with an unjust eye, they might long after that which is not theirs: and with the hands of violence pluck unto them that which belongeth unto others. Whatsoever is commended by common consent, that must needs be embraced and followed, if it be with credit and belief received. Whereupon it cometh to pass, that Dion would choose rather to advance a rabble of outrageous rioters in our City, than contrariwise. Such as we set against these hairy heads, are men of all other most praiseworthy, in whose number are to be reckoned the 
(r) Officers, who had the ministration of all holy rites and ceremonies in their hands: as our Bishops, Persons, and Curates, etc.  Flamines, the Prophets, the Aedites, etc. Reverend officers in the temples of the Gods: Teachers and instructors of youth in Schools, and places of learning: Generals, Captains, and Lieutenants, in armies: Governors of households and families: with diverse more, which excel each other in dignity. 
(s) Agamemnon would never commit fair Lady Chrysis to the credit and keeping of him that was bush hairy. And it is wisdom in men, that they will not have near their wives, to serve them such nice and effeminate fellows: with whom to see how women are pleased, & delighted, it is a world's wonder.  Agamemnon never put a bush hairy fellow in trust with a Gentlewoman nobly borne. When Painters delineate and portrait out in colours any younker bawdilie bend, or an adulterer, they will be sure to remember his bushy hair. But in setting out the image of a Philosopher, or other grave, and wise honest man, they make him bald: noting in the one a youthly wild lightness, and in the other an ancient soberness. I am of belief, that Philosophers, Governors of commonwealths, discreet Citizens, & all modest men, will take in good part this discourse of ours. And although the common people will not (peradventure) altogether allow it, let them notwithstanding, that are 
(t) Which have curled pates, whose hair hangeth about their heads, as moss upon trees, etc.  mossy headed learn this lesson: that if they mean to be sober, honest, and prudent, the next way for them so to be, is often to be shorn and shaven. And let them furthermore esteem such happy and fortunate, as 
(v) Because of their baldness.  need not the edge of the scissors or razor.  
It is not I that deserve thanks for that which I have written, but the equity of the cause, which hath offered me this discourse: whereby, he that is never so babish in knowledge & utterance, shall be sufficiently furnished to reason with the wisest head in the world. My wish and desire is, that this travel of ours, may turn to the benefit of many, whereby we also hope to have commendation.  
FINIS.   


The tale of Hemetes the Eremite pronounced before the Queen's Majesty.  
NOT more, most valiant Knights. 
He speaketh unto two knights that fought there.  violence must yield to virtue: and the doubtful hazard you be in, by a most noble help must be ended. Thus the immortal Gods by unmovable destiny have decreed: therefore cease your fight, and follow me: so shall you hear that, which you would little believe: and shall have with me that, which will most behove you. 
He speaketh to a Lady present.  And you (fair Lady) fall into this company, where it shall appear Sibylla said true, and your misfortunes shall have end.  
Most excellent Princess, 
He speaketh to her Majesty.  appointed from above, with your presence to please, and your virtue to profit, more than you are ware of: how much you are bound to the immortal Gods, and mortal men bound to you: our present case will partly prove. But before you understand the worth of your virtue, it may please you to hear the variableness of our adventures.  
Not long since, in the country of Cambaia, which is situate near the mouth of the rich river Indus, where a mighty Duke bore dominion, called Occanon, who had heir to his estate but one only daughter, named Gandina. This Lady then, more fair than fortunate, lived most dear to her father, and most beloved of his people. But to prove that beauty is not ever a benefit, nor high estates be always the happiest: it chanced within a while, Gandina (sought by many that were great, and served by many that were worthy) had more competitors of her beauty, than did either well content her, or prove it commodious unto her. For love, which is not led by order, nor chooseth by appointment, limed her affection unmovably, with the liking of a knight of estate but mean, but of value very great, called Contarenus, who exceedingly loved her. So the desires of many other was somewhat for her glory, but nothing for her gain. In small process of time, the secret fires of their fancies discovering the smoke of their desires, bewrayed this matter to her father, long before they would.  
The Duke dissembling what he saw, determining to disappoint that which he most misliked, neither made challenge to the knight, nor charged his daughter for any love that was betwixt them: but devised a way (as he thought) most sure, but (as it proved) most sorrowful, to set these lovers in sunder, by the work of an Enchantress most cunning in her kind: who had caused Contarenus to be caught up, and carried in the air, from the coast of Cambaia, to the very bounds of the Ocean sea, which cost Occanon twenty M. Crowns: a dear price of repentance.  
But it is no novelty to Princes, to make their wills very costly: and sometime to pay dear for their own displeasure. Contarenus thus strangely divided from his joy, & perplexed above measure, was charged by this Enchantress, to wear his punishment with patience, which necessity did put on, and destiny would put off. And ere seven years came about, she truly assured him, that he should have, for his reward, the height of his desires: but first he should fight with the worthiest knight, and see the worthiest Lady in the whole world. Now, the whilst, she told him, that he must take the guard of a blind Heremit, who should recover his sight, and he his satisfaction: both at one time. So she left him on the earth, and went her way again into the air.  
Gandina now lacking long that she looked for: namely, the sight and service of her knight, fell soon into those diseases that accompany such desires, as she was accumbred with, to wit, distrust, curiosity, and exceeding troublesome thoughts. At last, (as Princes do few things so privily, but they have partakers of their counsel: and heirs of crowns lack never servants of hope, which be curious to please them: the devise and dealing of Occanon came to the ears of his daughter.  
The which being told her: And is it even so? (quoth Gandina.)" Care kings for no right? And right cares for no kingdom. It is neither the court of Occanon, nor the country of Cambaia, that I can accounted of, if Contarenus be gone. Farewell unhappy country, and most cruel father, that turns me to this fortune, to follow my faith: which neither greatness of estate, nor hazard of mine adventure, shall make me forsake. But if I lose not my life, I will found Contarenus, if he be in the world."  
This said, she pursued her most hard determination, and taking only a damsel with her, in simple habit, with such things as were necessary, she strait conveyed herself most closely from the borders of Cambaia, and with toil (too long to tell) passed perils past belief, till at last she arrived at the den of Sibylla, where (by chance) she met with a most noble knight icleped Loricus, by love likewise drawn thither, to learn what should betide him.  
This Loricus loved a Lady that was matchless, in such manner as was strange. For after much devise, and diligence, to attain to this favour, that she would be pleased he might love her, not looking for reward, seeing no glimpse of her liking, his uttermost devotion to found surely out her fancy, which she carried most closely, he made a strange assay with all semblance that might be showed, to set by her but little, that was so sought for of all. And the better to colour the passion, which he was not able to conquer, he made a show of choice of a new mistress, that lived every day in her eye (a piece surely of price, but far from such a pearl as his heart only esteemed:) and to this idol he seemed to offer all his love, and his service, leaving no manner of observance that to love appertaineth, as wearing her colours upon his back, and her picture in his bosom, keeping her company before all other, & continuing most at her commandment. Which deed espied by the Lady, (whose peer and equal, for any natural quality, either of body or mind, was no where to be found) though she cared not for his choice, yet she showed scorn of his change, and disclosed by controversy that which love could not discover.  
Loricus this perceiving, fell by and by to consider, that it was the want of his worth that made his service unacceptable, & no impossibility in her will to receive them to serve her, that merited the honour of such favour. Therefore he left his own country, and betook himself altogether to travel, and to arms, desiring with most endeavour to deserve that reputation, as this great and noble Mistress would but think him worthy to be hers, though she would never be his. So thinking no toil too tough, and no attempt too hard to attain to renown, he wandered through the world, till by painful ways he came to sibylla's den, where he met with Gandina.  
There these two lovers having occasion to unfold all their fortunes, the Lady seeking to know the end of her travel, and the Knight some advise for the ease of his hope: they both received this answer of Sibylla:" That as they were now coupled by fortune, so they should never part fellowship, till they had found out a place, where men were most strong, women most fair, the country most fertile, the people most wealthy, the government most just, and the Princess most worthy. So should the Lady see what would content her, so should the Knight hear what would comfort him."  
Now (most dear and best deserving Lady) it falls to my purpose, & your praise, to say somewhat of myself. And though you see me here old, wrinkled, and cast into a corner, yet once have I been otherwise a Knight known, and accepted, even with the best in the world. And living in a Court of most fame, amongst a swarm of Knights and Ladies of great worth, and rare virtue, where beauty bade the base, and desire sought the goal: it chanced me to love a Lady, to be beloved of 
* He meaneth Cupid, who is feigned to be blind.  Love himself, if he could have but seen her. But as she was such as did excel, so was she of wonderful condition, without disdain to be desired, but most dainty to be dealt withal. For touch her, and she would turn to twenty divers shapes, yet to none but to content me as I thought, who supposed still to touch her was a heaven. And so it seemed by my hold, that was most loathe to let her go, till she liked (alas) at the last to put on the shape of a Tigress so terrible to behold, that I durst hold her no longer. And being so escaped, I could never more set eye upon her  
Madam, thus began my pain: but you hear not yet my punishment. Being shifted from the sight of that I sought above all things in the world, and then little delighting to look upon any thing else: I took by and by a pilgrimage to Paphos in Cyprus, trusting to hear of my Mistress there, where Venus was most honoured: whither when I was come, I began to step in at the doors of her temple, and was suddenly stricken blind. Astonished at my mischance, and understanding no cause, I fell on my knees, and said:" O fairest of the Goddesses, and furthest from cruelty, what hath been my fault, that you are thus offended? Thy folly & presumption, (quoth Venus' Chaplain) as I guess. From my youth up (quoth I) I have been an honourer of virtue, a delighter in learning, and a servant of love. But it is no parted affection (quoth he) that Venus will be honoured with. Books and beauty make no match, and it is a whole man, or no man, that this Goddess will have serve her. And therewithal taking me by the shoulders, he thrust me out of the temple."  
So with sighs and sorrows I sat down in the porch, making intercession to Apollo, the particular God I honoured, to have compassion of mine estate. Now faithful prayers being heard, ere they be ended, Mercurius comes unto me, & bids me be of good comfort." The Gods (quoth he) be just, though women be angry. The Goddesses be all found to have this fault. Diana with Actaeon, Pallas with Arachne, juno with Teresias, were angry without measure: so is Venus now with thee. The cause with thy remedy shall be told thee at Delphos, whither strait I must carry thee." Which he had no sooner spoken, but by and by I was set in the temple of Apollo, where first demanding my fault, the Oracle made answer," Thy fear, and not thy faith. And what (quoth I) may be my remedy? The best besides the beautifullest", the Oracle strait answered.  
With this, Apollo's Priest took me by the hand, recounting unto me the whole course of my life, whom I loved, and how I lost her. And when I told him of the faithfulness of my service, and the faultlesnesse of my meaning: of the variableness of her condition, and at last, of the fearfulness of her appearance:" Ah good Hemetes (quoth he:) it is not the kind of women to be cruel, it is but their countenance. And as for their variableness, who so will not apply himself thereto, shall not much please them, nor long hold them. Neither is it to be found fault withal. Nature herself loveth variety, so it be without deceit. Now for thy faultlesnesse, it sufficeth not. The servant of Venus must not only have faith, but also lack fear. Fear lost thee thy Mistress, and thy boldness to enter into Venus' temple, being unacceptable, made her strike thee blind. But Apollo bids me tell thee, the Gods accept whom women forsake. The eyes shut from delight, have minds more open to understanding. This punishment shall be thy profit. Venus can bar thee but from her felicity of love, but for the devotion thou bearest to Apollo, he giveth thee this gift: to be able to decipher the destiny of every one in love, & better to advise them than the best of her darlings: and further now doth promise' thee, in revolution of years, thou shalt recover thy sight. But this shall not betide thee, till at one time, in one place, and in a country of most peace, two of the most valiant Knights shall fight, two of the most constant lovers shall meet, and the most virtuous Lady in the world shall be there to look on. And when thine eyes may behold that thy heart delighteth in, a Lady in whom inhabiteth such learning and beauty, as never was in any creature, then shall they be opened, and that shall be thy warrant. All Apollo saith is sooth. The whilst it is determined, thou shalt devil in an hermitage, where nothing that longs to nature's use shall be lacking unto thee."  
So suddenly I was shifted to this hill hard by, where I have wintered many a year, far from the woes and wrongs which the world beside is full of. And now (best Lady and most beautiful) so termed of the Oracle, and so thought of in the world, what the Enchantress told Contarenus, Sibylla showed Gandina and Loricus, and what Apollo said to me, by your most happy coming is verified." The most hardy Knights Contarenus and Loricus here have fought: the most constant lovers Loricus and Gandina here be met, and I poor Hemetes (as this Knight knoweth) full long blind, have received again my sight. All which happened by the grace of your virtue, which the best so much do honour, & we are now most bound unto."  
And so I present these noble persons to please you with their service, and myself to serve you with my prayers. And leaving the lovers to their delight, I must leave Loricus this advise▪ Knight, prosecute thy purpose, it is noble (learning by me) not to fear, and of thyself to take pain, remembering that nothing notable is won without difficulty. Hercules had by his labour his renown, & his ruin by his love. Loricus, thine end will be reward: at lest, most reputation, which noblest women most esteem. But I fear I have too long tired your most noble ears, and therefore only now I beseech your Majesty, with your happy presence to honour my poor home, whither I mean strait to guide you.  

This tale ended, he led her to his hermitage, where when he was come, he used these words following, and so did leave her.  
Here (most noble Lady) have I brought you to this most simple hermitage, where as you shall see small cunning, but of nature: and no cost, but of good william. Mine hours approaching for my Orisons, which according to my vow I must never break, I must hear leave your Majesty, promising to pray as for my soul, that whosoever wisheth you best, may never wish in waste.  
FINIS.    

Fabula ab Hemete Eremita coram Maiestate Regia prolata.  
SAtis iam (milites invictissimi) satis decertatum est. 
Alloquitur Equites duos, qui tunc temporis ibidem pugnam inibant.  Virtuti vim cedere oportet, ancépsque martis alea nobilissimo auxilio dirimenda est. Sic dij immortales, inevitabili fato decreverunt; absistite itaque pugna, méque sequimini; sic audietis ea, quae minimè credituri estis; mecúmque eo fruemini, 
Alloquitur Heroinam quandam ibi praesentem.  quod vestri permagni intererit. Tu autem (Virgo venustissima) ad hanc te societatem adiunge, ubi facilè constabit ea vera esse omnia, quae fatidico ore cecinit futuri praesaga Sibylla, tuis iam tandem adventare finem aerumnis.  
Illustrissima Princeps, 
Alloquitur Reginam.  divinitùs dimissa, ut esses quae & praesentia nos oblectares, & virtute opinione magis prodesses tua; quantum dijs debeas immortalibus, mortales autem tibi; huius nostri acerbissimi casus recordatio demonstrabit. Sed priùs quàm tantae virtutis tam admirabilem (excellentissima Princeps) dignitatem despicias, placeat (quaeso) Maiestati tuae varios casus, & crebras fortunae nostrae commutationes intueri. Non ita multis abhinc diebus, in terra Cambaiae, quae sita est ad ostium Indi fluminis praedivitis; Occanon dux quidam, magni nominis, & fama percelebri, rerum potiebatur, unicam, quam duntaxat habebat filiam Gandinan (sic enim appellabatur) principatus sui relicturus haeredem. Haec, à forma, magis quàm fortuna foelix, ut chara pàtri, sic omni grata populo, & periucunda fuit. Caeterùm, non semper formae decus possessores beat suos; nec sublimis semper fortuna foelix: exemplo erit Gandina, (ad quam nobiles proci, nec pauciores haud mediocri dignitate servi confluxissent) longè plures formae rivales habuit, quàm aut ipsa percuperet, aut rationibus suis magnoperè expediret. Siquidem amor, qui nullius ad vota consilio directis vestigijs insistit, sed caeco semper preceps impetu ruit, sese huic dulcissimae virgini, in venas atque medullas sensim infudit; mentèmque illius Contareni cuiusdam desyderio, qui eam quoque miserè deperibat, haud magni sanè loci militis, sed maximae virtutis, incendit. unde adeò factum est, ut ille tantus nobilium amatorum concursus, plus ad formae famam, quàm ad mentis tranquillitatem delectationis attulerit. Etenim, non ita multis interiectis diebus, igneus ille ardor, qui secreto intùs exaestuabat incendio, se prodit; &, longè antequam illi volebant, ex fumo flammas incensis subesse pectoribus persensit pater. Veruntamé dux, quae vidisset dissimulanda ratus; atque id, quod tantoperè displicebat, novo atque inaudito commento avertere cogitans; neque equitem, neque filiam, ullius unquam insimulandum amoris existimabat. Caeterùm, quò infoelices quamprimùm disiungeret amantes, firmssimum ad id ipse (opinionis errore) consilium suscepit; sed (ut exitus docuit) infaustum nimis, & perlugubre. Veneficae cuiusdam artificio, quae in suo genere, scientia longè caeteris omnibus antecellebat, Contarenum in aërem magno miraculo sublimem rapi fecit, atque Cambaiae in ultimas Oceani oras transferri; quod ut fieret, viginti aureorum millia veneficae dederat. Magna (herclè) poenitentiae merces.  
Verùm illud principibus in viris néque novum, néque inusitatum videri debet; quorum plerúmque desyderia, immanibus solent condiri sumptibus; magníque maxima interdum emuntur incommoda. Contarenus interea tam admirablli modo ab amore diwlsus suo, consternatus, atque animo (supra quàm dici potest) anxius, à venefica admonebatur, uti eam, quam fatum inflixerat, eandémque brevi depulsura foret necessitas, calamitatem, aequo & recto animo perferret. Futurum namque (ídque persanctè recepit) ut nondum peracto septennio, patientiae praemium obtineret suae; votíque compos fieret: antè tamen cum perstrenuo sibi milite depugnandum, & Heroinam etiam videndum, unam omnium, quas sustinet terrarum orbis, praecellentissimam. Interea verò, caeci Heremitae curam susciperet; & quo is tempore amissum recuperaret lumen, eodem illum idipsum, quod tantoperè cupiebat, consecuturum. His quidem dictis, pertristi & lamentabili fato eum relinquens, in aërem denuò subvolavit.  
At Gandina, dum nusquam Contarenum videt suum, nusquámque eum, quem ante à quotidie, incredibili cum voluptate, suis irradiantem ocellulis intueri consueuer at, aegra animi, ijs morbis conflictari coepit, qui inseparabiles talium plerùmque cupiditatum comites existunt; suspicionibus nimirùm, & crebris curiosarum querelarum procellis, tum anxiferis undique cogitationibus, & acerbissimis cruciamentis divexari. Tandem (néque enim magnorum Principum negotia ita clam tractantur, ut non multos habeant consiliorum participes: Regúmque haeredibus nunquam desunt spei satellites, qui futurae foelicitatis spe illecti, quoduis facinus suscipere non recusant) ad aures infoelicis siliae, paternae crudelitatis fama pervenit. Quae à luctu in rabiem versa (tantas perbibit medullas amor,) Itane verò? (inquit.)" Nullane Regibus justitiae cura? Nec igitur regnandi justitiae. Neque enim Occanonis aulam, neque Cambaiae regnum tanti aestimo; si sine meo mihi Contareno contabescendum fuerit. Infoelix ô patria! túque ô crudelissime pater! valet; qui me hanc huius nefandae tempestatis calamitatem subire cogitis: te ut sequar (alma fides) quam utique ut violem, neque celsae fortunae meae dignitas effecerit, neque periculi magnitudo. Etenim, si non squallore priùs & lachrymis confecta, hanc miserabilem & aerumnosissimam animulam dimisero; nunquam desistam, donec te, te mi Contarene, ubicunque terrarum es, invenero."  
Haec fata, instituti itineris consilium prosequitur; unáque duntaxat pedissequa adhibita, vilibus induta vestibus, rebúsque omnibus ad vitam pertenuem & lugubrem sustentandam compositis, atque comparatis; clàm Cambaia proficiscitur. In itinere verò, quas quantásque molestias pertulerit; quibúsque fuerat iactata casibus, commemorare ut longum foret, & auditu certè incredibile. Nihilominùs tandem, post anxios ancipitésque labores, ad Sibyllae antrum devenit. Ibi Loricum, quendam equitem perillustrem, qui eò quoque saevo compulsus amore, fati eruendi causa concesserat, offendit.  
Heroinam amabat Loricus iste, tam naturae, quàm fortunae dotibus planè incomparabilem; sed amore mirabili inusitatóque. Nam cùm omnem operam, omnésque ingenij ac industriae machinas adhibuisset, eam uti se apud illam in gratia poneret; nullo ut quamuis alio proposito premio, permitteret tamen semetipsam ab illo duntaxat amari: illa autem immitem se semper atque inexorabilem praeberet; & nihilo p●orsus illius inflecti vel sedulitate, vel obseruantia commoveri videretur; statuit miro quodam artificio arcana mentis consilia, quae illa tam cautè contexerat, expiscari. Eam itaque, cuius amore omnium inflammarentur animi, (tanta erat vultus venustas) vili se pendere prae se tulit. Et quo meliùs cordis, quod restinguere nequierat, dissimularet incendium; novam sibi Heroinam delegit, quae quotidié repudiatae oculis obuersaretur; pulchram illam quidem, & peramabilem; sed nihil ad hanc, quam animo medullitùs adamarat. Huic se divae totum dederat, huic sacra quotidiè faciebat, omníque obsequio, cultu, & obseruantia, sese ad illius finxit arbitrium. Nihil omisit eorum, quae à percuriosis amantibus fieri consuescunt; adeò ut humeris colores ipsius gestarit (obsequij & amoris insignia:) in sinu autem expressam imaginis formam, à perito artifice eleganter depictam, circumtulerit. Accedit praeterea, quòd caeteris omnibus fastiditis, in illius se penitùs consuetudinem immerserit: seséque totum ad illius nutum voluntatémque convertit. Haec cùm animaduertisset praestans illa, (quae parem, omnibus corporis atque animi, quae conferri à natura possent, muneribus, nullam unquam invenit) quáuis de delectu magnoperè non laboraret; immutati tamen amoris contumeliam, indigniùs ferre visa est. unde factum est, ut quod amor nequierat; zelotypia detexerit.  
Loricus hoc animaduertens, planè perspexit indignitatem illius; non autem ullam Heroinae implacabilem importunitatem facere, ne grata viderentur ea, quae ab illo proficiscerentur officia: facilem quip ipsam, pérque benignam videri; talémqne prorsùs, quae tanto dignos honore protinùs susceptura foret, meritósque meritis affectura praemijs. Itaque relicta patria, labori, atque armis totum se devouit; omníque conatu in hanc duntaxat cogitationem incubuit: eam ut demum, meritorum fama, consequeretur gratiam; uti ab hac nobilissima, omníque laudis splendore circumfluente Heroina, dignior censeretur, qui ipsius esset; quamuis ipsa illius nunquam futura foret. Proin, deserta patria, nullos non experiundos subcundósque labores; nullum non audendum, quamuis perarduum facinus existimans; miseris actus erroribus; omnem terrarum orbem itineribus asperrimis difficillimísque peragravit: donec tandem ad Sibyllae antrum, ubi Gandinae obuiam dederat, pervenit.  
Ibi verò, duo amantes isti, omnem fortunae suae acerbitatem, omnésque, quas perpessi fuerant aerumnas, exponunt. Gandina enim praelongi laboris finem praenoscere avebat; Loricus autem curarum & spei solamen exoptabat; utrique tandem Sibylla hanc in sententiam respondit:" Quod quemadmodum iam societate coniuncti erant, ita à consortio non se abstraherent; donec eò tandem pervenissent, ubi homines strenuissimi, terra fertilissima, foeminae pulcherrimae, populus ditissimus, regimen iustissimum, Princépsque dignissima invenirentur. Sic autem Heroina, quod magis optaret, videret; milésque solamen animi sui exaudiret."  
jam verò (praestantissima Princeps, omníque virtutis decore circumfusa,) cùm huius instituti sermonis ratio, tum laudum tuarum praecellens splendor, & dignitas admirabilis, postulare videntur; ut de me ipso nonnihil dicam. Senem quamuis me (Regina) videas effoetum, squalidum, rugis deformem, & velut mortalium omnium exclusissimum, hanc in solitudinem & tenebras detrusumitamen fui (Regina) fui inclyti nominis eques, summóque in honore habebar abijs, qui fortitudinis tum fama perinsignes, totum penè terrarum orbem, rerum gestarum gloria compleverant▪ Versanti autem mihi quotidie in Aula celebri, atque pernobili; fortissimis undique Equitibus, ac Heroinis, excellenti venustate ac virtute praeditis, affluentibus; ubi pulchritudo formáque palmam, meritis autem praemia cessere: evenit ut cuiusdam Heroinae amore miser implicarer, cuius in ore tantus fluxit honos, tantáqeu maiestas Veneris, v●ipse 
* Nempe Cupido, qui cassus l●●nine fingitur.  filius (si eam conspexisset) eodem (proculdubio) flagrasset incendio. Verùm enimuerò, quemadmodum illius in ore Venus omnes suavitates atque delicias illigarat suas; ita natura fluctuoso illam ingenio finxit, planéque mirabili. Siquidem amantes illa non est aspernata suos: sed inexpiabilem se semper praebuit ac difficilem; omniumque, quae unquam vixerunt, mulierum maximè intractabilem. Etenim, si quando tetigissem, in centum se protinùs verteret formas; nullam autem speciem unquam suscipere visa est, quae non oculos meos incredibili voluptate perfunderet. Sic nimirum (Regina) eo contactu afficiebar, ut quoties is mihi contigit, in coelo cum dijs immortalibus versari viderer. Facilè autem id quivis intelligere potuisset; quandoquidem semel si apprehendissem, denuò dimittere, mortis erat instar; donec se tandem in tygridem convertit. Tum verò monstro conterritus, ampliùs contueri non audebam. Itaque mihi è manibus elapsa, nunquam se posteà conspiciendam praebuit.  
Ex hoc font (Regina) initio dolores redundarunt mei. Nondum tamen audis, quae poena hanc tantam acerbitatem excerpserit. Nam cùm hunc in modum eius rei privarer aspectu, quam supra terrena omnia concupiveram; adeò ut assiduè eam intuens, in eámque oculis semper & cogitatione defixus, nullam prorsùs caeteris in rebus contemplandis, voluptatem perceperim; Cyprum versus, ad insulam Paphos peregrinari coepi: méque hac spe miser consolabar; fore, ut illic aliquid certi de mea cognoscerem: quandoquidem Venus ibidem religiosissimè coleretur.  
Eò cùm venissem, atque templi iam limen institissem; illicò me oculis captum sensi. Tam horrendo obstupefactus casu, neque ullius mihi conscius sceleris; in genua provolutus, haec (lamentabili voce) profudi:" Alma Venus, dearum omnium pulcherrima, quaeque ab omni prorsùs crudelitate abhors; quod in te tantum facinus admisi; quo numen mihi tuum tam infestum reddiderim? Stultitia & temeritas tua, respondit (uti reor) Veneris antistes. At (inquam) à teneris unguiculis virtutis amator fui, doctrinae cliens, captiuus amoris. Imò verò (inquit ille) non dispartitus debet esse is, qui Veneri defertur honos. Inuigilare studijs, non adeò Veneri convenit; totum nempe dea hominem, aut omninò nullum requirit. His dictis, continuò per humeros violenter arreptum, templo me praecipitem eiecit."  
Tum verò acri percitus dolore, aegrísque imo ductis pectore suspirijs; in porticu, ubi moestus consederam, Apollinem peculiarem meum, quem prae caeteris semper colui, deum obsecrabamque ut supplicis sui sortem commiseresceret. Enimuerò, quae fide concupiuntur vota, ijs vix dum finitis protinùs occurrunt coelites." Astitit namque mihi precanti Mercurius, (&) Bono sis (inquit) animo. Quamuis enim mulieres ira & indignatione acriùs interdum efferuescant; dij tamen aequi semper & placabiles esse consueverunt. Hoc morbo laborant pleraeque omnes. Sic Diana Acteoni, Arachnae Pallas, Teresiae juno; praeter modum omnes adversae infestae que fuerant; veluti iam tibi quoque Venus. Tantarum autem irarum causae, una cum remedio, Delphis tibi postmodum aperientur, quò transferri te confestim oportebit. Haec fatus, in templo Apollinis protinùs me constituit; ubi primùm cùm ab Apolline sciscitarer, qua in re deliquissem; aeditum est oraculum huiusmodi: Formido, non tua fides. (&) Quod igitur (inquam) remedium? Praeter (inquit) pulcherrimam, praestantissima." Exinde verò Apollinis sacerdos manu me prehendit; omnesque anteactae vitae meae miserias atque aerumnas enumeravit; cuius amori me dederam, ac quibus eam modis perdideram. Atque hîc cùm ego constantiam mentis, integritatem herae meae; varios volubilésque mores, speciem denique in quam se induerat, terribilem indicassem:" Ah bone Hemetes (inquit.) Non ita mediùs fidiùs naturâ mulieres implacabiles sunt atque immites; vultu duntaxat ita se componunt, ut quamuis non sint crudeles, videantur tamen. At varietatem quis in foemina reprehendit? Quin potiùs tempestati obsequeris; téque ad earum voluntates atque ingenia accommodes: secùs enim qui fecerit, is certè neque placere multùm poterit, neqe expetitis diu perfruetur voluptatibus. Quanquam quid est quòd eo nomine mulieres in crimen voces? Ipsa Natura namque, quàm non insidiosae varietatis amans? De innocentia verò quid attinet dicere? Innocentem esse, non hoc quidem ad id quod quaeritur satis est. Veneris enim clientes, non fide solùm praeditos esse oportebit; sed omnis etiam formidinis expertes. Nam, quòd desyderium amiseris tuum, timoris erat id quidem tui; quod oculos, audaciae; quip qui Veneris templum alienissimo etiam tempore invisus intrare non dubitares. Veruntamen haec uti renuntiarem mandavit Apollo; consuescere deos immortales eos in fidem suscipere, quos à se mulieres ablegarunt: & clausis ad libidinem oculis, praeclaro tamen scientiae lumine saepenumerò collustrari. Et quidem haec poenae calamitas, plus tibi, ad vitam rectè instituendam, momenti attulerit; quàm oculorum tuorum caecitas damni aut dedecoris inflixerit. Oculis enim te duntaxat & amoris felicitate privauit Venus. Apollo verò (tanti est apud ipsum is, quo eum prosequeris honos) hoc tibi concessit; futurum, ut praescius, quo quivis fato amet praenoseeres; magísque consilio tuto, quàm qui sit ex Veneris delicijs, valeres. Pollicetur deinceps; fore, ut post aliquot annos, amislum lumen recuperes. Sed hoc non antè tibi contigerit, quàm uno eodèmque & loco & tempore, in regione pacis atque otij gloria florentissima, duo inter se equites strenuissimi conflixerint, totidémque amantes constantissimi obuij ibidem erunt, intererítque huic spectaculo praestabili insigníque virtute Heroina, una omnium, quas orbis terrarum sustinet, amplissima. Cùm itaque oculis tuis contrà tueri licebitid, quod tibi maximè cordi futurum scio, praecellenti virtute Principem, & eruditione incomparabili redundantem; naturae verô ipsius habitu tam divino, nullo ut unquam mortali in corpore par decus ac pulchritudo extiterit: tum demùm (nam id tibi signi instar erit) oculi confestim aperientur. Nihil Apollinis oraculo certius. Tibi autem interea, ista dum eveniant, solitaria quadam in cellula manendum est, ubi omnia ad usum naturae necessaria suppeditabuntur."  
His dictis, hoc in colle, quem iuxtà vides, protinùs constitutus sum; quo in loco multos iam annos incultam quidem & sordidam, sed tranquillam vitam extraxi; aerumnarum earum omnium atque iniuriarum expers, quibus impurus atque lachrymabilis mundus undique scatet. Nunc igitur (Princeps augustissima) mortalium & optima omnium, & pulcherrima, sic Apollinis oraculo dicta; sic universi terrarum orbis consensu celebrata; quicquid Contareno venefica, Gandinae & Lorico Sibylla, mihi autem Apollo praedixerunt: ea omnia tuo foelicissimo illustrantur adventu." Contarenus & Loricus, milites impigerrimi depugnarunt; Loricus & Gandina, amatores fidelissimi convenerunt; ego autem pauper Hemetes; qui perdiu (quemadmodum scit miles iste) in hisce syluosis latebris caecus delitui, nunc tandem te (Regina) sexus tui lumen, & totius orbis stellam, intueor." Haec, excellenti & peradmirabili tuae virtutis magnitudine, confecta sunt; quae ut optimi cuiúsque mentem sacra veneratione perfundit, sic nos sibi devotos aeternùm obstrinxit.  
Quapropter, hos nobilissimos, & perillustri praeditos virtute viros, tuae Maiestati (Regina) commendo; obsequio proculdubiò, & obseruantia, magno tibi semper usui ac voluptati futuros: me autem ipsum, qui ardentissimis apud Deum Opt. Max. votis pro incolumitate tua susceptis, Amplitudini tuae perpetuò deseruiam. Priùs tamen, quám amatores hos expetitis desyderijs reliquero, Loricus paucis admonendus mihi videtur. Macte itaque virtute miles, disce ex me (siquidem apprimè tibi utile fuerit) nihil timere; à te autem ipso, dura pati. Amat ardua virtus; nihílque praeclarum, quod non difficile. Labor Herculi famam attulit, mortem autem amor. Lorice, ne dubita; hic exitus erit virtutis tuae praemium; saltem nominis gloriam consequêre, quam nobilissimae foeminae caeteris omnibus rebus anteponunt. Sed vereor ne cèlsitudinis tuae auribus, nimis diu submolesta, & iniucunda fuerit oratio mea. Quapropter, hoc unum deprecor, ut humilem hanc meam & subagrestem casulam, quò te confestim deducturus sum, claris & praefulgentibus Maiestatis tuae radijs illustrare digneris.  

His dictis, atque peractis, Maiestatem Regiam in cellulam deduxit suam; ubi his verbis veniam ab eadem petijt.  
jam iam (Regina) omnibus modis semper dignissima, Maiestatem tuam in hanc cellulam agrestem conducere prae me tuli; ubi non artem, sed naturae dona; neque sumptus inofficiosos, aut conditioni meae dissimiles, videre dignabere. Hora enim orationibus meis assignata appropinquante, (vota namque maximis occasionibus obstantibus perimplenda sunt) Maiestatem tuam ibidem derelicturus, veniam peto. Deum tamen ipsum obtestor, me clementiam misericordiámque ●uam, non secùs quàm pro anima mea, deprecaturum; ut qui optimè celsitudini tuae volverint, id nusquam, nunquámue frustrà deprecari valeant.  
FINIS.